Transcript of The Taylor Swift Music Awards: Monday, September 28th, 2026

Good morning, girlies, it's The Toast.

It's Jax and Claude and we're your hosts.

It's your favorite show, the fast 5 things you need to know. We'll start your day off swirly, it's The Toast.

I sound amazing.

Welcome back to The Toast and happy Monday. The Transatlantic Frame side-by-side Toast is no longer. We are here in FL. We are FGL.

So fly.

Florida girl.

We're so fly, so fly.

So fly, so fly. That's right, it's Monday. We've got a great episode of The Toast. We're back together. We're in studio together.

You guys, we're back together. We're in studio. Jackson, Claude, how do you feel?

Making eye contact.

So weird.

I know, and I kind of like dropped my big news and then left for the weekend. I wasn't on Friday's episode. That's so me. I'm like so mysterious. That is what people are always saying about me.

We have a lot of catching up to do.

We do.

In terms of the news from Friday, Taylor's new music, and then like coupled with VMA. So I'm glad that we got like Sachi's take.

Mm-hmm.

And then your take, and then perhaps my takes have changed a little bit over the weekend.

And you know what? I'm very glad that I actually wasn't here on Friday because I had barely had a chance to listen to them before like last night. And so I would've been giving like preliminary thoughts and everything I was seeing like on TikTok and was so negative that I went into it with a negative, I'm like, yeah, this sucks. And then I actually listened to it like a normal person and it's pretty good. So we'll talk about it in our first story with the music video and VMAs and yada yada.

But first, welcome to Florida.

Thank you, yes, we are here. If I'm looking just like a little off, it's because I have no makeup. So I ordered all my makeup on Instacart and I did something really stupid, which is like, I don't know my shades by heart. I know like in my concealer I wear the shade Beach, but my foundation, I don't really know. And I went on Instacart and I went to get my Haus Labs foundation and it had already preselected a shade. I'm like, oh, you know, I must have ordered this before. And they remember like what shade I did.

They're so smart.

I did that for a couple of things. And let me tell you, you can probably see the swatch. Like this is where I was blending. Oh my God, my foundation was like bright orange. I was like mixing. I was literally being like a makeup artist doing color theory. I look like kind of crazy, but whatever. It's seriously better than being pale.

You do look good.

Oh, thank you.

All makeup shades should have a name, not a number. 'Cause I wear NARS Creamy Concealer Vanilla. I wear Mont Blanc NARS Foundation.

You're right. Beach is the name of the—

If it had a name, it would be Rose Ivory.

And you know what? I know my Patrick Ta Foundation is Olive. That's what it's called.

Give it a name.

You're so right. Haus Labs, get on it. Even though, like, I think that a hard part of owning a beauty company is like consistently coming up with names for like your shadows and your lip glosses.

I think it's a dream job.

Whoever does it at like Essie and OPI, the nail polish companies, they do an amazing job.

And I think there are people out there who are skilled in the art of naming.

Yeah, you would be good at that job.

I would be good at like naming colors.

Name a color. Name my shirt and be nice. I just could see you being like, big ugly blue.

You would say that. I would literally never say that.

It is.

I would say Hmm. I don't wanna be too generic and I have to know what other like names already in our product line do we already have?

You're starting a new product line.

Okay. Then maybe I would call it, I don't wanna say like Ocean. I wanna give a specific— Pacific. Pacific.

That's pretty good. I can't lie.

It's pretty good.

And that's like on the spot.

Imagine what I could do like at a desk. Well, what would you call the color of our car?

Because Jackie and I drove to work today together. Yeah, that's right. We carpool.

You know what I'd call it? Oh, well tell them about the car and then I'll tell them what I'd call it.

Well, what had happened was we're obviously down here in Florida. We needed a vehicle. We have a great relationship with General Motors. They always like lend us cars when they can.

Like the Lyriq U.

The Lyriq, the Cadillac Lyriq. If you guys remember that Patreon video we did, and it's a great way to test new cars cuz I am in the market for a new mom car. And so they were lending us a GMC Denali, which is like a big family van. And I was very excited. You know, I could fit Ben's golf clubs. I love a big car. And I guess something happened like in transit. know, the car like not crashed, but it's in the shop. They couldn't deliver and they were like, we have another car available, like this is what we have, enjoy. And they just like dropped it off and Ben sent me a picture and I was like, oh, okay, I guess we're driving a literal bright red pickup truck.

Bright red.

Uh, Silverado, as Morgan Wallen would say.

It's so huge.

We— I haven't driven it and I drove it this morning cuz I was like, Jackie, we have to— we're making a music video in the parking lot. I'm just letting you know, to Silverado.

You want to Oh, we could do two.

I thought we were gonna do now, but now I'm dodging potholes. It's literally in a sunburnt Silverado. It's a Silverado. So make sure to check out my TikTok for that music video later.

So what I would name our car? It's cherry red fireball. Do do do do do do.

Did you feel like we got respect on the road? Because people definitely thought we were like working men.

Like well, we definitely got respect from like the fire truck that we let merge, and like we were just sort of like twin fire trucks.

Thousand percent.

They probably thought we were on the four.

For men. Yeah.

For girls.

Yeah. I felt that like sometimes when I drive like my girly, like my convertible, you don't get any respect. Like people are like, she's not serious.

Oh yeah.

They probably thought I was like on my way to a job.

Yeah.

To fix something.

Yeah. I feel like a lot of people drive my car, my Tesla Model Y in white. Mm-hmm. So it's either giving like mom or I don't know, or Uber environmentalist or Uber.

I feel a lot of Tesla Ubers. Really?

Ooh.

Maybe not white though.

Maybe not. But there's not like a lot of Uber. It's not like really a thing here as much as New York where every other car is an Uber.

Yeah. And a lot of them are black Teslas.

I think you could either be a mom, an environmentalist, or a free thinker.

Or Chase from The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives.

Or, or you could be a mothering environmentalist who free thinks as well.

Oh, that's literally you.

That's me.

Light on the environmentalist, but yeah.

But yeah, because I drive electric.

I ate a coffee at Jackie's house today. Oh, we have it here. And of course I took my plastic cup and my plastic straw. And now I love plastic straws and like Adrian Gagné, suck a cock. But I've never seen a plastic straw like this. Like there are certain plastic straws to, to a turtle, this straw is a nightmare. Is an AK-47. It is so hard and thick. It's amazing.

I mean, are you sure it's not glass?

Positive. It looks glass, right?

Oh yeah. It's one of the old schools.

Yeah.

That's what, that's what straws were like in my day.

Yeah. Now like even the plastic straws disintegrate. Like we're all trying to save the turtles.

Even the plastic is like not even really plastic.

But this, You thought it was glass.

I'm happy for you that you found what you need, but my reusable coffee cup?

Oh, you know, I had big plans at your house to like make a reusable electrolyte. Oh, I forgot to do all that.

Environmental.

Forgetting to drink water.

Environmental.

That is very environmental of you.

So can't put a label on me, Koji.

I would never.

Okay.

But if I did, it would be pink cloud.

Ding.

Yeah, ding.

Ding.

Oh, I wanted to share something that I watched over the weekend. I forgot to tell you this. I watched The Love Hypothesis. You know that, um, smut book that Lili Reinhart is like doing? doing a press tour for. Well, the press tour worked on me. I watched it. It's a movie, not a show, and it was like 90 minutes. When I tell you it was like the worst thing I ever watched and I loved every minute of it.

Oh, okay.

It was so bad, but like, it was amazing. Like, I actually, I got really caught up like emotionally, and it's not even, it's a really smutty book. It's barely smutty.

It's not?

There's one love scene. I think Cecily Reinhart said like—

Love scene, look at you.

That's what people are calling it because it's not a sex scene. Like, it's not vulgar, it's not graphic. It was like beautiful lovemaking when they were, spoiler alert, the characters were finally in love.

Don't spoil it because now I wanna watch it. So don't— I don't know anything about it. I don't know anything about the plot. I didn't read the book. Don't spoil anything.

Okay, it's really like, it was so cute. It takes place at like a fictional college. Um, and she did a great job and I'm sure you've seen like her rom-com wardrobe press tour.

Yes, yes. Margot and I discussed it.

Oh, did you? Um, and so I feel that like the marketing really worked on me. She's taking it really seriously.

Margot actually gave her Queenie of the Week for that.

For the looks?

For the looks.

It's a good Queenie.

Yeah.

I saw that you gave Queenie of the Week to me.

I saw that you didn't like comment or anything.

I didn't?

No, I don't even know if you liked it. I thought maybe you didn't see it.

I beg your finest pardon. I think I at least liked it. Did I not?

I didn't check the likes.

This was me watching it.

I didn't check the likes, but I thought like eventually you'd comment like and realize that you were Queenie.

Oh my God, I didn't even like it. Let me just leave a comment. I don't, I'm overwhelmed. I'm overwhelmed by this honor.

Speak from the heart. Speak from the heart.

I'm so, and let me also like it. I'm disgusting.

Yeah. I thought maybe you like didn't know and I kept meaning to tell you.

Well, you know, there are like people and I could name them, like people in your life who are so good about like always leaving comments and like liking and hyping you up. And I feel bad. That's not, uh, and it's not that I don't, I, I see everything and I'm watching it with a smile. The double tap and the going to comment, like it just is not in my nature.

Yeah.

I can't do it. I can't be that friend and I feel like—

And sometimes I comment, I'm like, who do I think I am commenting?

I sometimes I'll open up the comment thing and be like, the fuck do I write?

Like— No, I'm— that too. But also some— I don't know. I feel like sometimes when you comment, it's just like, you just like are making it about you, you know?

And we would never do that.

Right. But I'm trying to like comment and stuff.

Me too. I need to be better. Although I did sort of come to the realization that I kind of wanna become one of those people who like can't be reached. I'm so available. Like if you text me, it happened to me twice. I told you guys.

I just think in your line of work, it's, Not believable. No, no, no. It just doesn't work. Like we're digital.

Like the week I gave birth, my rabbi, well, not my rabbi, our high school rabbi, Rabbi Sonicky, and his wife texted me like, oh my God, Mazel Tov, yada yada. And I, I was like breastfeeding, so I was like, oh my God, thanks so much. And he was like, wow, for a new mom, you answer quick. And I was like, oh, okay. Right. Um, and that happened to me the other day. People being like, someone texted me, oh, I think when I announced my pregnancy, I was like, thanks.

Like, yeah.

They were like, wow, record timing. Excuse me? And then I was like, you know what? I'm too available. Like that happens so much. That's so funny.

When I get like an inundation of texts like that, like I leave them all unread until I can respond. respond at like in my own time. So that's never happened to me.

You know, it's happened now a couple of times where I feel like people are calling me out.

No, but that's, I think, like just the, the small con side of like you being so hasty, which for the most part is really good for you. Like you get stuff done.

But just know, like, if I don't answer you, it's because I'm intentionally becoming unavailable. And it's like all about curating a new image for myself. So don't take it personally. It's not really about you. It's more about me.

Well, I hope that I'll stay on like the list of people that you Well, you and I actually like don't text.

We are on like a 24/7 FaceTime.

We are. And right now you're living with me.

Yeah.

So we're roommates.

Roomies.

We're commuter buddies. Do we text? I'm trying to go look at our texts.

We don't text. 'Cause if we do, we'll like communicate in the family chat or the sisters chat.

Yeah.

And if we ever really need to talk, like I'm never gonna text you.

Oh wow. When I search Claudia, like first comes up like our group chats.

Yeah.

I sent you a link the other day.

It's a FaceTime relationship, you know?

Oh, you know what we send to each other? Like comments that we see.

Funny comments. Yeah.

Funny or like crazy comments.

Oh yeah. I saw, I saw the last comment I sent to Jackie was last week we were talking about our Phantom cancellation with Elon Musk.

Mm-hmm.

And the comments were like, you guys are lying.

You did talk about it. They say, I am the number one fan, but I absolutely remember you talking about this, then taking it out. Then the episode came down, waited 30 minutes and then reuploaded it.

Never happened.

You guys, why would we bring, if we did that again, Why would we bring it up?

No, not only that, you're trying to tell me literally every tweet I've made since middle school is on the internet, but this big clip of me talking about this controversial thing doesn't exist. I actually do believe that that day or that week we had, um, like we had renamed the episode. So like Spotify took it down and then, so it did like disappear for a second, but the same exact length. I think that's maybe what people remember.

Um, so you were always sending each other. I feel like we're being gaslit into continuing to talk about it, but it, it's like, I, I was there. It's our show.

I remember it all too well.

If you want us to talk about it, we can.

If my voice sounds like a little hoarse— well, first of all, I forgot to share, when people were sharing like, oh, I knew you were pregnant when you ate the breakfast potatoes, or when you didn't talk about the fast, I'm surprised nobody's really commented on like my singing voice deteriorating. Because a fun fact about me in pregnancy is like I can't sing anymore.

Well, when we were in the Hamptons, I think you were singing, and I think I said something like your voice like sounds bad. Mm-hmm. And I felt like that was to tell, and I was reminded of when you were pregnant and your singing went out the window.

Yeah. It's not bad. 'Cause like this morning I did give like a Lion King performance for all the kids.

She did a live action remake.

That song is so good.

All of them. Which one?

No, but the one.

Circle of Life.

Yeah.

Yeah.

On a, listen, I like can't sing. Ready?

Someone make you sing.

On a path unwinding. Not bad. It's The circle, the circle of life. And like, obviously I'm better than the traditional singer, but I'm much better than that. You guys saw me on The Masked Singer.

Yeah, that is, uh, a giveaway. Yeah.

And then I get my cackly laugh, which I'm starting to— it's not here 100%, but this morning you made a funny joke in the car and I, um, yes, I did my like high-pitched cackle. I turn into my sister Olivia when I get pregnant. She has like this booming cackle and I love it. It was like my favorite part of being pregnant. So hopefully you guys can make me laugh today.

Oh, make you laugh.

Challenge accepted.

Challenge accepted. Um, what else do we need to discuss betwixt the two of us? I didn't watch, I'm reading for the redheads. Um, we're reading Into the Unknown. I think that's what it's called. I don't even know.

Oh, you're reading what?

Into the Unknown. I think that's what it's called. My Kindle doesn't show me the COVID of what I'm reading anymore, so I don't know what I'm reading.

Love that Kindle.

It's like a horror thriller.

No, it's Kindle Color. Yeah, but you can like upgrade, like—

For some, I don't know, maybe I could, but I need to do that. I like to know what I'm reading.

I like to see the COVID Except sometimes I like to know what I'm reading, but it's nobody else's business. Like on the airplane, what I'm reading.

Of course.

Yeah.

Redheads records tomorrow, so read with us. It's a spooky book for like, we're getting into spooky season.

We are, verities coming out. People think that Patient Zero is like a verity.

Well, if it was a verity, then it'd be a verity, right?

Well, or is it on the verity soundtrack?

No, but also like she did I Knew It, I Knew You for Toy Story. Like why wouldn't she have a verity moment for Patient Zero? Like, what—

the music video is so Verity.

What's the big idea?

Yeah, I thought like that was a good theory.

Why would it need to be in the credits roll? Maybe.

Okay, like, I'm so glad you brought that up.

But that's not a theory, you guys.

Oh, okay, she's policing our language now.

I am policing your language because like, okay, if it was gonna be like a, a song for the movie, they would just say like Verity.

I think that stuff is like public, like the soundtrack is public already.

Like, yeah, and if it's gonna play in the movie, like, okay, cool. Why is that a a big idea.

So speaking of Colleen Hoover books turned into movies, you know what movie I'm watching in parts on TikTok? The Housemaid, which kind of works for me because like I did want to see it.

You know that's not CoHo, it's Frida.

Oh, it's Frida. Say literally same thing, Frida with a wig on. Okay, I mean Colleen with a wig on. Um, I'm watching it like in vertical.

Colleen with a wig off?

Who knows. I'm watching it in parts, um, because I heard like the movie wasn't that good, but I liked the book and I kind of wanted to like see how it came to life.

I feel like the movie's good.

I'm getting like— I'm really enjoying what I'm seeing vertically. I feel like the movie's good.

And they're making the sequel. Margo reminded me that Off-Campus Boys is in it.

My man Dean De Laurentiis.

Uh-huh. So I kind of wanna like watch the movie.

You love Dean, right?

I love Dean.

You should read their book. I just read it. It's so cute.

But I don't wanna stop liking the show.

Why would you?

Because anytime I read the book for something, I don't like the adaptation.

For sure, except that these books are so unserious.

No, but I just know I'm gonna connect with something in the book that's not gonna be handled the way I want in the show. And I just wanna enjoy my show. So I agree with you, like I love Dean, I should read his book, but like No, I like my show.

Okay, but to be honest, like, I liked Dean and Ally, but they didn't mean anything to me like Bella, what's his name, Ella—

Hannah and Garrett.

Thank you. Like, they were my everything to me. And then I was like, all right, well, you know, we're gonna get their season. So, and now I like love them so much. So it, it— listen, I'm not gonna tell you what to do, but if you're looking for something—

I just know I've never, I've never liked—

An adaptation.

An adaptation.

I think Off Campus is probably the first adaptation like I've really liked because I wasn't so close to it. I couldn't even remember if I read the book or not. There's so many smut books that it's like, hockey college. Like, I don't know which one I read and which one I didn't.

Yeah, so I'm gonna, I'm gonna like just have my special thing of my show.

Okay, special.

The show that I love.

Yeah, me too.

Well, speaking of, of campus, they were like at the VMAs. It was a VMAs weekend.

Did you see that Garrett Graham was asked about Tyler Cameron's dance?

And he approved.

And he approved. He loved it.

And then he also spoke about Guillermo, which for me—

We know where he stands.

Is like my Iconic duo.

And it's important to me that like my celebrity boyfriends like vote the same way I do.

Yeah.

And he's texting Guillermo to 21523, and for that I'm thrilled.

Whitney Carson posted like a really cute TikTok of Guillermo, like about how every time that she like needs to sit down, like he keeps practicing. And so I feel like she doesn't want to go home because I feel like if she did want to be voted home, she wouldn't post that.

And there obviously like is a time Right? Like, she's probably given production— like, maybe they knew this was gonna happen, like, because of Andy being like, I have to leave by week 6 or something. So maybe until then she's into it.

Yeah.

And I'm probably just projecting because, like, I literally can't even walk up the stairs in your house without having to take a break. So she's dancing 7 days a week and I'm not. So I'm obviously just projecting, like, what I'm going through.

No, I, I think it's a lot, but she could always just be, like, doing less and less, you know? Like, yeah, maybe the dances will become—

Bring the troupe.

Bring in the troupe, like bring in a stand-in.

This is what the troupe is like kind of there for.

I feel like she could also like be his teacher, show him everything, and then like someone could stand in and do the dance for her at a certain point.

Oh, you mean in, in rehearsals and stuff?

Yeah.

No, and on the show, like, no, no, she can literally do it once a week and every other opportunity, like rehearsals and in the studio.

Mm-hmm.

And for like all the packages, just bring in the troupe member, bring in Adele. She's free.

Yeah, I think that's great. Yeah. And that's like really inclusive and mama friendly.

This show is inclusive, and I feel like the word inclusive, like, is eye-rolling.

Yes.

Because it's always, like, so fake and, like, performance. But I feel like Dancing with the Stars is, like, a testament to, like, inclusivity, like, being real and, like, not affecting the quality of anything. Like, it's literally the best show, and it's the best, like, because of who they included, you know?

Yeah, yeah.

Take a note, everyone. Yeah.

Speaking of inclusivity, what were your thoughts on the Hanukkah Barbie?

Okay, here's what I was thinking. I loved your guys' take, and I watched— I watched. My thoughts are that I didn't notice the nose, and once I did notice the nose, I'm just like, we have bigger fish to fry. And I feel like there was more outrage about the non-existent Barbie nose than there was about like Bradley Cooper's Leonard Bernstein nose. And then when you were like, well, Barbie is Jewish, uh, thank you for reminding me. Her name is like Barbara Goldberg, so Barbie is like fashioned Barbie is Jewish, like, so why you gotta make— you should make a Christian Barbie because Jewish Barbie is Barb.

Like, you should make a Barbie with a smaller nose then.

Yeah, right, right. Um, I loved your take, so now I'm— that's my take.

Like, that they're erasing the Jewish history of Barbie.

If anybody like asks me what I think, I'll talk about the erasure of Jewish Barbie's ancestry.

Disgusting.

That's the story. What else are the stories on Friday? I could give like all my takes.

Oh, that's so fun.

Well, the music we'll do in the first.

The first one was Taylor, which we will do in the first with like VMAs recap. Catnose Barbie, what was that, like number 4?

Yeah.

Okay, number 2 was, oh, Melania and Giudice's breakdown.

Oh my God, that video was so upsetting. Like, and you know, I'm really soft on Tree these days because I'm watching Ultimate Girl Trip and she's coming off really well. Um, that video was very upsetting. Like when Teresa's just like, I love you, I love you, I love you. Like, I know Melania's like gone through a lot recently. Like her best friend passed away and like, I think that their whole childhood is like so fucking traumatic. Like it's surprising like one of her daughters didn't have some sort of behavioral issue with the deportation and both of their parents going to prison. So I give a lot of grace. Um, and I hate that it's being handled in the public eye.

Mm-hmm.

Um, and I don't know, seeing that like soft side of Tree.

Yeah.

She knew she was being filmed. I really wish them the best. It broke my heart.

Yeah, it really did.

And Melania's sort of like America's sweetheart, like out of all the girls, obviously Gia is like Gia, but she kind of like stole the show.

She, yeah, she did when she was younger. Yeah. She really had a wild side that everyone should get to know.

1000%.

And now it's just got a little too wild, I would say.

I, I feel that like Melania can look to someone like me, like I had an extreme wild side.

You were Melania.

I was like a very troubled kid. And I'm probably like the most favorite in our whole family now. I'm like the most normal and well-adjusted. And so there is hope for you, Melania. Yeah.

3 is a story that I chose because Margot was here, and I don't know if I would've if it was you, but Dove Cameron got married.

That's true.

To the lead singer of Måneskin. And now her wedding's going viral, but I just want everyone to know I chose the story before it was going viral, before it was picked up in Vogue Weddings. Yeah. Um, for a lot of reasons I chose this story. You know, Margot and I love Dove Cameron.

I know.

We love Descendants. I know. 2, Måneskin, they won Eurovision. Mm-hmm. And then 3, the, and fun fact, I was actually at Euro—

they won, they won Eurovision Tel Aviv.

I was there. So you can tell us—

Where I was the victim of an antisemitic attack.

You can tell us what happened, um, and your thoughts on—

And sorry, now that I'm thinking about it, they didn't win that year. It was that guy, you know that song, I think it's called Arcade.

Oh yeah.

It's like so big. Um, yeah, sorry, I was making stuff up.

Damiano David is the lead singer, who's like someone whose music that I actually know, and I didn't know he was from Måneskin, I didn't know he was dating Dove, so we just put it all together.

Oh, I knew the lore. Um, I don't really care about their wedding, so I would hope that you wouldn't have chosen that when I was here, but happy for all the Descendants fans. And like, we—

she was— they were both wearing suits, but then it didn't seem accurate. a Gabrielle wedding dress, Valentino, Vogue like covered her in the house.

And she like can't get arrested, you know what I mean? Like career-wise, she sort of like never flew the Disney flock, and all of her peers kind of did. She's like in the era of like Olivia Rodrigo almost, Liv and Maddie, right? That's her, Dove. Um, and I like this like international rock star thing for her. Yeah, I just don't see how it like benefits Dove's self.

Yeah, I think, I think the issue for her in her career is like she never will be who everyone wants her to be.

Which is like Disney princess. She's like kind of alt.

Like Mal from Descendants. Yeah, she's like very like emo girl.

They should do a High School Musical like— well, oh, they did.

And you know, she was Amber Von Tussle in the Hairspray Live, which was well cast but poorly executed.

I don't necessarily connect with Hairspray Live in the way that I connect obviously with the original Hairspray and how it was the perfect casting. Although I think they cast it really well for the live. They cast Ariana Grande as Penny.

Mm-hmm. Bless you.

Who else? Who played Tracy? Like a rando?

Yeah, it's always a—

Yeah, 'cause they don't make fat people famous.

No, but also it's always a new discovery.

Yeah, of course.

Um, I think Kristin Chenoweth.

Oh yeah, for Amber Von Tussle's mom.

Yeah. Who else? It was really well cast. And then that guy from, um, Disney was Link. Yeah, he's like from TikTok. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, then we talked about, um, Belmont Camelli is joining Sydney Sweeney in like this new movie called Hollow.

Yeah, and then Margo and I were chatting just like as 2 best friends and sisters do about like, you know, he has a girlfriend but she's like not famous, so like you're always playing like who should she date? And obviously Sydney Sweeney, they say she's gonna convert. Did you see that report?

I did.

Um, she's in a serious relationship, but like, you know, when you're in a movie, yeah, yeah. And like Belmont Camelli and Sydney Sweeney, it's like a little too obvious.

No, it actually wouldn't work.

That's what Margo and I were saying, like we actually don't ship at all.

No, I don't.

And I don't ship either of them with anyone They're both in relationships, but if I did have to pair Belmont Camelli up with like a famous person, it would be Brooks Nader.

Really? You think he could handle her? You think he's man enough?

Yes, I do. I've seen his thighs on the show.

Is he tall enough?

I think he is like huge.

Let me get his height. Is he old enough?

I don't know if you guys know, Brooks is actually a close personal friend of mine. She FaceTimed me the other day, and I felt that her energy, she is this sort of crazy girl who can't be contained, and Garrett seems like a really— Garrett, I'm cracking up. What's his name?

Belmont.

Actually, his name is Philip, for those who don't know. That's his real name. He seems like so like normal and centered, and that's kind of like the, like the, the anchor she needs. Don't you feel like—

I think it's again like a Sweeney Seany, like Seany Sweeney, like just like 2, like— no, I think it would be like this. But he is 6'1 and he is 28 and she is 29.

No, I'm telling you, you guys, I don't want him to break up with his girlfriend. I love that he's like not getting famous and leaving the girl, very like Robert Herjavec of him.

They were separated. They were separated.

You know, and I love that he's not doing that, but if I had to play like who I would want him to date, Brooke Snider right now.

Yeah. And then our 5th story was Hanukkah Barbie.

It's such a 5th story.

It's so good. It's so good. Yeah. Um, okay, let's get into today's Fast Five stories that you need to know, even though I'm sure you guys have loved hearing about Fridays once again. It's true.

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Okay, our first story is like a Taylor Swift at the VMAs recap, but first we need to talk about the music, shall we?

Let's.

So on Friday she released The Life of the Showgirl: The Encore. We got 4 new songs, the lead single being Patient Zero.

Yes.

What are your thoughts?

So like I said, I was not up at midnight on Thursday. I go to bed at 8 o'clock. Friday morning I listened to it, but not before getting inundated with like hate for it. And I can't lie, like I'm so gullible. You see, I almost got taken by the Lindsay Clancy thing. Like, I just like, yeah, I'm like with everyone. I'm like, yeah. So I listened to it with like a negative heart and I was like, oh yeah, like this is cringe and corny. And then yesterday I was so busy all weekend. We were coming down to Florida yesterday. I was like, you know what? Let me actually listen to it. Like not in a toxic headspace. And I was like, what is everyone getting so pressed about? I had also been watching TikToks of people, um, using Cleveland specifically. And I was like, listening to the chorus, I was like, oh, baby likes what he likes. And I was like, wait, and Cleveland is the one that everybody's like hating on. And I do have to like plug my ears a little bit during the, um, bridge, but other than that, like, it's a pussy-popping song.

Now I also want to just get a little bit ahead of the negativity because I feel that— and I've had this like sort of realization about Taylor— because even in Cleveland, which is like an anthem about the guy that she loves, she's like obsessed with what people think about her. And it's like, you've actually never been more beloved. Nobody hates you and Travis, like, at all. Nobody's like questioning why Travis is with you. We literally think you're perfect. You are our royalty. But of course, like, people still say things, and it's crazy that she like really lets it get to her. And I think that I'm not gonna fault her for that 'cause like I'm the same way. Like when people, when I see like a mean comment about me, like it ruins my fucking day. Like, and even though she probably gets so much positivity, like the internet is still gonna do its thing. And I feel like I'm sort of starting to understand now why her music about Travis is like a little shallow and why we didn't get her wedding pictures. Like, and why she continues to write about Matty Healy or whoever we think these songs are about.

It's like, it's kind of like the one thing she won't go there with us on. And I kind of respect that 'cause even though she is adored, She has had bouts of like major hate, and it's like the public right now is like with her, but like seriously, I could see her just being like, fuck the public.

Yeah, I'm not gonna let you do this thing that's so precious to me.

Yeah, and that's kind of like what But Daddy, I Love Him is about. It's like, you can't come to the wedding. It's like even her fans, like with their public statement writing open letter about Matty Healy, it's like she loves her fans and they've done so much for her, but like I do think there's been like a personal cost. And so now I'm kind of like, I don't think it's that her relationship with Travis isn't deep, Like, it's actually no one's business. Like, if you really, really care about something, like more than anything in this world, like you're not telling people about it.

Yeah.

And so yeah, sure, let everyone think that like, I'm just talking about Travis's big hands and we have sex in the car. Give them crumbs and everything else, like the wedding. Like, I don't think we'll ever see a picture of the wedding. And now I'm like, you know what? Yeah, like fuck the public. Even though she's currently having like an amazing run with the public.

Yes, okay.

It's a very complicated relationship.

I think that's fair. What I said on Friday was like, first of all, I thought Patient Zero being like the lead single was so insane. Like for that to be like, Like the first thing we hear from her after this like huge momentous occasion. We've all been following her life, love life for 15 years. Like so many boyfriends, so many relationships. And like she's found the one and we are talking about an ex again.

100%.

Crazy work. I feel a little differently about the song Patient Zero now with the music video, which we'll get into in VMAs. Mm-hmm. But then with Cleveland, I was like, you are not— this relationship is 99%, like only positive. Very good. Only obsession. Everybody's obsessed. Like write a song about like what it's like to be on the top of the world with your man. Like something like Long Live. Like, yeah, she could write something like that about their status of, you know, when they won the Super Bowl. Like, what was that feeling like? And that's not even giving us like so much about the intimate details of their relationship. But to focus on like the 1% of people who say that like he could do better, but right, nobody's really saying that.

I know, I know.

And it just is so negative. Like, and, and it erases all the positive when you only respond to the negative.

You have to really go out of your way to find people saying like negative things about them. Like for the most part, everyone is obsessed, like even like football people, and it's just like, it's all good. So you can't help how you feel, and it's like maybe at that level, like no one can know what it's like. Um, and maybe I'm just like coming up with like, uh, fucked up— No, I like that.

I like what you said about why the songs don't go deeper and, and why she's keeping all this—

And why we still talk. We're like, we're— she's like extrapolating off of TTB, Patient Zero, TTB.

Why she's keeping all this to herself. I can accept that. But for the songs that are about Travis to be about the couple nasty things that people have said are just like so far from the reality that we're living in when they are the king and queen of the country.

But I like that song. The, the bridge where she does this like Sam Hunt thing where she like talks instead of sings. I've been like saying for years, like when Sam— that's part of the reason I could never get over Sam Hunt's DUI. Like, I hate when people talk-sing.

And Sam Hunt like really brought that to mainstream. And I'm not talking about rap.

Sam Hunt invented that. I was like, it's like, oh my God, I hate when people do that. And she does it in the bridge of Cleveland. And it just like, to me, it's like a cringey way of performing no matter who's doing it. And so I just sort of like plugged my ears during that bridge. But other than that, like I'm shaking my ass to Cleveland, exclamation point. We got like one video of her and Travis, you know, 'cause they did like a lyric video where it was just like a montage of like pictures of Cleveland. And there's like one video of them like driving to Cleveland.

And then Pink Clouding, which sounds like something that could be on Any of her albums. Like, it's just like another piece of—

It's a good Taylor Swift song.

It's a good Taylor Swift song. I don't really know what the message is, and I'm not really listening closely. No, me neither.

That's like, I'm not looking for a message in Pink Clouding. Babylon is really good.

I agree.

It's like a Taylor Swift, like, kind of folkloric, really well-written song. Um, and then Patient Zero, which like, now I've listened to it 5 times.

So now let's get back to Patient Zero. Yeah, so Patient Zero I disliked at least, and I just hated that that's what like we led with. And the other— and so I would say the 4 songs as a whole I am liking more and more.

Me too.

Sonically, which always happens with her. But I have like 2 things that I just can't get over in terms of like why the, the way that it was marketed is just so weird. 'Cause first of all, it's like—

By the way, I agree with you.

This is a lot for one song. Were the— no, one, were these written with Max and Shellback?

On the second trip to Sweden.

On the second trip to Sweden to celebrate the success of the album, we wrote Patient Zero. Even though then on a radio interview, Margot said she called into the radio on Friday morning and said, you know, I was just like sitting around talking with my friends and they were like saying how their exes ex reached out to them, and isn't that like a common theme? I'm like, yeah, sure, on a random other album, but for the first song you're gonna sing someone else's story?

Yeah, so that's where I feel like—

And you're saying that— is that what happened in Sweden with Shellback?

Well, she does, you know, notoriously write about other things and other people a lot, and I think she will be doing that more because she doesn't wanna pull from her own personal life, which like, I would love to hear about like her and Travis like having a baby, but I actually like, the more I think about it, I I do want her to keep that to herself. Like, I would like to see it because I'm normal, but like most people can't be normal about her.

Yeah.

Um, sorry, you continue.

Then number 2, I had like a flashback this morning to when she went on New Heights and said like, T-Lo's is coming out, like 12 bangers.

That's it.

That's it. There will be no deluxe. There will be no bonus tracks.

She has literally in the last 5 albums released the album and then at midnight been like, never mind, it's a double album. Sorry you all just bought a $15 album. Now you have to buy this one.

Yeah. Or like a a week later the Target version comes out, or, you know, months later.

She's the queen of eras.

Bonus tracks. A lot of people do bonus tracks, but she said to us, 12 tracks, that's it. So I don't understand.

And this was when she was telling like the Sydney, then Sydney, the Sweden story, being like, 'cause we were just celebrating.

And you're allowed to like, you know, change your mind, but it really felt like this Showgirl was a moment in time. Even if they went and celebrated a year later, like that's outside of the moment of Showgirl, of when she was a showgirl.

I also think like the Showgirl era has to end.

So I'm just like really like hung up on the, on the branding and the marketing and the incongruity of it.

No, and like the award show appearance, which is such a big deal for all the GMA sneak peeks for like deluxe songs. Like, I just think it's a lot of drama. This is what you do when you're launching a new album.

And like, why these 4 random songs that don't relate to each other at all?

Yeah. That don't relate to Showgirl. They don't sound the same.

Are now bonus tracks on Showgirl. Like, why don't we start the new album? You could put these in.

Yeah.

So that's what I don't get. The songs themselves are fine, but like, she's such a storyteller.

Yeah.

Everything is Easter eggs and like, you know, chapter, page by page. And this makes no sense to me. So anyways, let's get to the VMAs and the music video because Patient Zero music video came out. She brought like Dakota Johnson as her date and her twin.

Yeah. And her twins, her twins in the music video.

I didn't know they were twins, but they are twins.

In real life? Like, what are you saying?

Yeah. Like at certain points in the music video, I was like, which is which?

I actually don't think that they look alike. I think they both like wore the same outfits, had long hair and bangs. Yeah. And like with the red lighting. That they could be twins.

Yeah, right. But she has a lot of twins. Like Karlie Kloss was her twin. Mm-hmm.

That girl from TikTok who dresses— Ashley.

You're not talking about the impersonator?

The impersonator.

No.

I wonder why she didn't hire her.

No, no. I feel like she could— I guess it's like, you know, they were doing art, but she morphed herself to really look like Dakota. And the first scene I'm like, is that Taylor? Is that Dakota?

Yes, yes.

By the way.

And I never thought of them as 2 people who looked alike.

Twins. No, it's not like everyone's always saying that.

She looked amazing last night. And what's so funny is like, I couldn't tell And not to be one of the haters in Cleveland, but her style is like sort of the weakest part of her brand. And every award show, it's just like, it's such a miss. You know, she's like this literal perfect looking model. It should not be hard with endless, uh, money, resources, connections. And so when she showed up last night, I was like, wait, this is a serve. And I was like, I'm like, is it though? 'Cause I feel like if anybody else wore this dress, like somebody who consistently, like Zendaya, I would be like, oh, it's fine. For me, it was like the best thing ever Taylor's ever worn. She looked amazing. I loved like the one ear, you know? She did one tuck. It was tucked the whole night.

Oh, interesting. I wonder if it's like a sign that it's like the, like one half of the album.

Oh God, there's gonna be another disc. Um, also—

This is the other disc.

The new haircut like is really working.

Yeah.

It's a perfect haircut.

Yeah.

She looked great.

She, she looked amazing. Um, she got her award.

for— did you see the executive producer of the VMAs like putting like kind of—

I didn't see anything, so you're gonna have to tell me what happened.

He released this between interview or something about this like new random award they came up with, which is called the Taylor Swift Award.

The, the director— yeah, inaugural Artist Director Honors. It's the Artist Director Honors.

And he said that like the idea for this award, you know, came from an external source. Taylor. Like, yeah. And then she can't just go to an award show and she can't even just win like best— Best Pod. Like she needs to be special. She's not on the same level as Sienna Spiro. Do you know what I mean? Like she's special.

I gotta bring Sienna in.

I was just trying to think of—

No, I agree.

Whoever was there.

The pop girl of the flavor of the moment.

Even Madonna's like, if she's going somewhere, it has to be for like a great honor. And I think maybe she's already got the Video Vanguard Award. So it's like, well, we gotta come up with a new award. So they definitely came up with this. This was like a Tree Pain Incorporated idea, but like not them like telling on her.

Yeah.

I was like, oh.

Oh, that's like not a shock at all.

Of course not. And I understand like why these things happen. But like, I don't know, I just feel like Taylor's like kind of like—

No, she just seriously like used this event like as her bat mitzvah.

She uses these like lowbrow award shows because they'll do whatever she wants and she can give herself the time and place to announce a video or stream the video they do. Yeah. Or put it on, uh, you know, have her special performance.

So what did she say in her speech?

Um, she dedicated it to Dolly, the ultimate showgirl. I just feel like she was doing a lot, like checking a lot of boxes. She dedicated it to the fans, like, you know, like she— No announcements.

No announcement, no Easter egg, no tea.

There might have been an Easter egg.

No tea, no shade.

There might have been an Easter egg, but you know me, I have retired from the Easter egg life. It's too much.

Okay, but so like nothing, we didn't get the new album announcement or anything? No, no, no. Okay, so she just went up there and spoke and then debuted Patient Zero.

And like, this is the announcement.

The music video?

The whole thing. Like, this is it.

Okay, let's talk about the music video.

Oh yeah, I watched it this morning 'cause I couldn't fall asleep.

I thought it was amazing. I thought it was too.

I was like, she does music videos really good 'cause they are like these mini movies.

I felt like this one, I really felt like I was watching a movie, it was very much a twist at the end, and this is a movie that I would like to see. And it made me like the song Patient Zero even more, 'cause it's less about like, oh, he was mad at—

Like, your ex called me.

No, and like, oh, he did, he's toxic, he's toxic to me too. It's like, no, he's poisoning you and he killed his ex-wife.

Yeah.

It's like, it's more serious and much more fictional that way. It's less— It's a parody. It feels less like, you know, oh, this is about Sophie Turner and Joe Jonas.

Well, 'cause people are, you know, speculating who this could possibly be about, and one of the exes that she she reconnected with is Sophie Turner and Joe Jonas. Yeah, even though I think they're all good.

I don't know, like, which would just be like a, like a crazy first song back, whatever. But this makes it feel just like more deeper and more serious. Obviously she doesn't have an ex-husband who has murdered her, who's now poisoning other women. So it just feels less about the people in her life, which she does— if she doesn't want to talk about everything that's going on in her life anymore, like, she does need to remove herself from her own personal history a little bit.

And you know what, she like wasn't the star of the music video. She was just sort of this ghost in the corner.

She's a storyteller. We said it's like Carrie Underwood, Storyteller album.

Perfect all-American girl.

That's not from Storyteller album, but—

But she is like telling a story in that song. But yeah, the song you're thinking about is all his money's gonna save Jennie.

But the whole album is songs like that about other people.

Like Folklore is also, and that's why it's called Folklore, like it's just made up shit.

For sure. But then we went back to being like, this song is about Matty Healy.

She might as well have said Joe Alwyn is depressed.

Matty Healy is a fugly bitch.

I don't think, based on my limited like listening chip, I don't think that this is about a particular person.

No, no. And, and the music video gave me like more distance and the song felt like less like I'm reading into every lyric and just like we're telling a story and, and it's better. Yeah. Um, and chilling stuff. So I, I thought it was a great music video.

And we were talking last week about how Taylor's like approach to releasing music is so, um, old school. She does, like Margaret said, she called into the radio. Like I used to listen to people calling into the radio when I was in 7th grade. Like she's so old school and I think that her commitment to music videos is part of that like old school mentality. But I love it. Like it's cinema. Remember she like released the All Too Well music video like in theaters? Yeah. Like I like that. Not Colin Farrell, like one of the world's leading actors. He was chilling. Yeah. And I don't know if I've ever seen Colin Farrell in anything like that.

No, this is my favorite movie he's ever done.

Same. When he started talking, I was like, and he's Irish.

And then not to bring it back to like my hangups, but then to go from like, okay, so Patient Zero is like this very magical like Twisted Tale. She wrote a book essentially to Cleveland. How were those 2 next to each other?

Cleveland should—

On the life of a showgirl.

Cleveland should have been on the original album. First of all, it's a very good song. It's so the showgirl.

It's so Wishlist. That's my era.

Yeah, honey. Um, yeah, it should have been on the original album. Yeah, maybe he hadn't taken her to Cleveland yet.

Maybe they hadn't gone to Sweden yet to celebrate, right?

There's just a lot. Me when I'm lying: I went to Sweden to celebrate. And I ended up writing 5 songs randomly.

4. Is there a 5th? Is that an Easter egg?

Oh yeah, an Easter egg that I can't count. Are you sure there's not 5? Positive. Like, to me it's just like, all this for 4 songs? Like, it's even less.

No, it's, it's confounding.

And I will say, like, as literally Taylor Swift's biggest apologist, and I feel like I, like, understand her deeper than anyone does, I unfortunately can't really, like, jive with her at an award show. I feel that that, um, like this thing where she like brings random girls like Lana Del Rey, Maren Morris, just like sit next to her and to hug when she wins. Um, like I just cringe. And so Dakota Johnson like was that girl. I don't love watching Taylor at award shows, and not for the reasons that other people do. They're like, she dances too much. It's like, well, sorry, she's having fun. I don't think she like gets to go to a lot of parties. Like, so that doesn't bother me. It's just like the performance of being like, it's like, girl, you invented the award, you know you're gonna win, it was your idea, right? I just like, I can't So I—

yeah, yeah, maybe it's not meant for you, but it's like how she like presents herself to the world.

No, I get it, and it all serves a purpose in the Taylor Swift ecosystem.

Yeah. Okay, so that's your VMAs recap. Oh, and Madonna.

Sorry, you guys know that one time I gave that like whole speech about Madonna. You know how I feel, and I was mean when I said it, and I'm not saying it again.

Yeah, but now everyone is saying it.

Well, once again, like us saying things at the time that were extremely unpopular. Meanwhile, 5 years later, we watched a performance of her coercing Sabrina Carpenter into singing and And like, we said that 5 years ago.

Yeah.

And like, it's okay to just retire.

Mm-hmm.

It is.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. Okay, next story. Oh, some exciting casting news. Margaret Qualley and Sabrina Carpenter are joining Tom Holland in the Fred Astaire biopic as Adele Astaire and Ginger Rogers. I'm gonna guess that Sabrina's playing Ginger Rogers.

She's so ginger.

And Margaret Qualley's playing Adele Astaire. Stella Stair while Tom Holland is playing Fred Astaire. This sounds great.

And what does Fred Astaire sing?

Um, so he's like a singing dancer. They were Broadway and West End stars before he went on to become one of cinema's greatest stars.

You know what it's giving?

With his co-star and dance partner Ginger Rogers.

Oh, and it's probably like, well, they won't they?

Yeah.

It's giving, um, It Girl by Alison Bataclan. It's giving Showgirl.

It is.

Taylor Swift's gonna write a song for it.

Oh, for sure. But like, Sabrina is perfect for it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm happy for Sabrina.

I love Sabrina getting back into acting. A lot of people don't realize.

This is a perfect part for Sabrina. Like the way that Ariana went after Glinda, I'm sure Sabrina had her team on the Ginger Rogers biopic.

Yeah. She is like classically trained at the Disney Channel Academy of Arts.

She can do it all.

She can do it all. And that's why those Disney girls are so powerful. Olivia Rodrigo also kicked off her tour, not to keep bringing up Olivia Rodrigo every time we talk about Sabrina Carpenter. But, um, I think I'm gonna go.

You should.

Like whenever it comes to my nearest venue.

You should.

Like, she's so good. Obviously, I have my, my thoughts about, you know, how she handled the whole thing, but that doesn't mean like good music doesn't play.

Yeah, the music is really good.

And I wonder like if Taylor is gonna go to the Grammys. First of all, have Grammy nominations come out? No.

No.

Um, it's not Taylor's year.

People also think that she's done this to like really shoehorn, uh, TLOAS into like a Grammy nomination.

Well, maybe she'll be nominated because like when you are the most talked about album of the year and the most streamed, like you deserve a nomination. That does not mean you deserve the win. I mean, I don't think she will win the major categories this year, nor should she. Like, sometimes it's just so obvious that it's the year. Folklore, Midnights, like, we know this is not that, and that's okay. You can't like dance at every wedding. I kind of feel like it's Olivia Rodrigo's year, so like, I am curious if Taylor will even go. Yeah, because Taylor has to know going in like whether she's poised to— I think the Grammys are the one award show where she like can't, you know, come up with her own awards. No, no, no. So you go—

it's not all put on for her.

You go not knowing if you're gonna win or not. or not. Um, but some years, like, you can feel it. Like, she was obviously winning Folklore, you know? And, you know, Midnights, she had a pretty good chance. This year, I don't think she would think— I don't know what she thinks, but, um, it would just be awkward if she like showed up and then Olivia Rodrigo won all of them. It's like kind of her worst nightmare, this— the plot of the song Nothing New.

Yeah. Um, and also Adele Astaire is Fred Astaire's sister, so it's not like a little technical— his big sis.

Um, maybe they should just take some creative liberties in the movie because 'Cause it's much more interesting if it's his wife.

I guess Margaret Qualley would be great. This is great.

Yeah.

I will watch.

Little girl Margaret Qualley.

Put me down for watching this.

I wonder who Margaret Qualley's gonna date next. It probably would be fun for it to be like somebody like conventionally handsome. Thelma and Louise.

Yeah. Thelma.

Not like artsy and like—

Like The Biggest Loser.

Yeah, I'm really looking forward to like her dating someone like hot.

Yeah, well, I don't think that's her type.

Fresh out the slammer.

I don't think hot is her type.

Fresh out the slammer, Thelma Camelli is who my first call will be too.

Are you ready for our next story? A major update in the Jay-Z rape accusations. His accuser is recanting all allegations and claiming that she never met the rapper.

Right, right.

So the woman who accused Jay-Z of raping her in 2000 has recanted her claim. The accuser said in a declaration filed on Thursday in New York that she never met the Grammy winner. She had originally claimed in 2024 that Jay-Z raped her when she was 13 years old. Um, his former accuser, who was referred to as Jane Doe, said her allegations against the artist were false, adding that she never met Mr. Carter. Mr. Carter never engaged in any inappropriate conduct toward her whatsoever. There is no truth to any of her claims against Mr. Carter.

She then also went on to say, like, I'm not being paid to say this, I haven't communicated with him privately.

Um, she understands that her false accusations have caused Mr. Carter immense pain, suffering, and damage that can never fully be undone. I sincerely and unconditionally apologize to Mr. Carter for the devastating harm I have caused to him, his family, and his reputation.

And so, are we supposed to believe that she lied? Or like, I'm not sure. What are we supposed to do?

I don't know. Because also—

Either way, it's awful. Either a 13-year-old girl was raped, or you made that shit up.

About someone that you never even met. And if that's the case, then he should sue her.

1,000%.

1,000% he should.

Not even for money, but like for his reputation. To clear his name.

Because of course, like, this is all very murky.

Oh my God, of course. And it's like, well, we're— we like are— I, I don't know what to say.

And there's a lot of like murkiness that's around him. Like even if he's cleared of this, there's, you know, just always rumors and stuff. So it's like, if he were able to—

Ever since like P. Diddy and like Epstein, everybody's just like—

Everyone's being looked at. Everyone's being looked at.

Powerful men, as they should be. Oh my God, are you following the Cornell?

Yes, I actually pulled that up like right during the break because this story reminded me of it.

Yeah, I feel And what's crazy is that it happened in 2024. It's only coming to light now because the girl is suing everyone, like literally everyone involved.

And the DA is like considering reopening the case and filing like criminal charges, as they should.

And of course now everyone's bringing up the movie Promising Young Woman. Have you ever seen it?

No.

Oh my God, it's literally about this. It's so good. The movie is about like, um, Carey Mulligan. Like this happens to her friend in college and her friend ended up like taking her own life because it was like so— and so she literally spends the next 10 years of her life ruining the lives of the men who did it.

it.

But it was— it's an amazing movie. It's like kind of Inglourious Basterds, how like you wish that happened. Like, that's not how history went down.

But if you don't know— It's called historical fantasy.

Oh, I didn't know that. Um, in October 2024, this college student at Cornell was like gang raped by 7 fraternity brothers. One of them was her friend. She was like out at night. She went to go meet up with him. Yeah, he and his friend like date raped her. She is unconscious laying there. He writes in their fraternity group chat with like all—

On Snapchat, and there's a screenshot of it with names Yep, free pussy, room whatever, alumni room 7.

And 5 other guys showed up. They spent 7 hours, the 7 of them, literally just raping her. And she reported it. She did all the things you're supposed to do. She reported it to the school. And, you know, I think the 2 who drugged her did get expelled. The other 5 got to stay in school and just had to like write an essay about why it was wrong. And she ended up, of course, leaving the school. So it's like her life gets ruined, they go on with their lives, and this never would have gotten out if she didn't file these lawsuits.

Yeah.

Obviously. She's suing like the national chapter of Chi Omega, which is the— or Chi Phi, whatever. The National Sorority Association, like literally the bar that serves her. She's serving— she is suing everyone. I love this girl. She's Jane Doe, right? Like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Um, but the other— the guys' names are out there, all 7 of them.

And I am like— my favorite thing is when people say the names. Should I read them? Like, just so like more people know their names? Yeah. And I love that, like, if you Google these guys now, this will come up.

No, my favorite thing is My favorite thing is justice.

But I like— a lot of people talk about their abuse and they talk about it like, you know, sort of anonymously for whatever reasons.

Here.

Um, oh, you have the names?

Yeah, right there.

Let's just do like a dramatic reading. Matthew Ingalls. And he was the guy, like, that's her friend who she called to hang out with and ended up orchestrating this whole thing. He's a real piece of shit. Jonathan Newell. That's N-E-W-E-L-L. Winston Lee. Gillio or Gillio Lopez. I'm not sure. So it's either Gillio Lopez or Gillio Lopez. Diego Sarabia, Diego Sarabia, Scott Norris, and Scott Kretschmar at the Chi Pi— Chi Pi? Chi Pi. Chi Pi. Chi Phi. Chi Phi fraternity house at Cornell in 2024. Sick.

Sick. But also what's sick is like, that was a Snapchat group of however many young men, and not one of them saw that. I mean, it happened in the wee hours, so let's say a lot of them were asleep. Like, there are people though that saw that. That didn't do anything to help.

No. And I think that like whoever want— like somebody knew it was bad enough to take a picture of it. 'Cause it's not a screenshot, it's a picture of a phone. 'Cause you know, if you screenshot in Snapchat, yeah, they get a notification. So like maybe one person thought like, maybe I should hang onto this, but like literally yikes. Like on, on behalf of everyone.

On behalf of everyone, especially Cornell. Like, so like, just do the right thing. Expel all of these kids. What are you keeping these 7 losers for?

Like, do you know how many people wanna go to Cornell?

Like, why do you, why are you still protecting animals?

No, it's so, it is so lame. An essay? What are we in 3rd grade? We have to write on the chalkboard? I will not throw sticks on the ground. Like, hello?

No.

Insane. It's such a crazy story. I love that everyone's talking about it.

Yeah, no, everyone is talking about it. I hope she, um, gets justice.

She gets every dollar. Not that that even matters.

No, but I just— I— it's a shocking, terrible story.

It is.

Are you ready for our 4th story?

If it's our 4th story, that's brought to you by a paid advertisement from Bath and Body Works. Thank you, Bath and Body Works, for sponsoring today's episode, and I'd like to talk about your new home fragrance collection, thoughtfully crafted to elevate the feeling of your house. So Bath and Body Works is just like the go-to. They have been the go-to forever when it comes to fragrance, and their Reserve collection is their most elevated home fragrance system. It's designed across candles, reed diffusers, room mists, and wallflowers, so your signature scent shows up everywhere. So it's really all about creating and curating a home fragrance that experience— a home fragrance experience that reflects your taste and feels uniquely yours. So these are the scents, and obviously scents are so personal, so I'll tell you, I like the Santal and Amber 'cause I love santal. It's like very hotel lobby. But they have Vanilla and Tonka, Sea Salt and Musk, Lavender and Jasmine, and Sweet Orange and Agave. And whichever scent you want, you can, there are a bunch of different options for how to have it infiltrate your home. But again, I like the Santal and Amber, which is sandalwood, fine cashmere, and amber.

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£0.

Yeah, I know.

That's amazing. I think I gained 20.

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Our 4th story is so sweet. Justin Verlander was greeted by his daughter for an emotional hug as he leaves the pitching mound for final time. So Justin Verlander, who's a 10-time NBA All-Star pitcher and husband—

NBA?

MLB.

Yeah, he doesn't play basketball.

MLB pitcher.

B, yeah.

And husband of Kate Upton.

Well, that's—

Most famously.

That's why we're talking about him and that's why we know him. I know he's like amazing and he did win the World Series and they got married like 3 days later, but he's Kate Upton's husband.

And father of Kate Upton's children.

Which like, A lot of guys wanna be, you know? Yeah. So he's obviously special.

Um, he was joined by his 7-year-old daughter during his final game on Saturday, and then Kate came out as well, which was—

they were all sobbing when he grabbed that daughter, started crying.

I literally wanted to cry. Not okay. I love— and everyone, all the like, um, MLB and everyone's like making edits of it with like music over it and it's just too much.

It is too much. And then he did a press conference and one of the questions was like literally just made to make him cry. And he was like, you know, there is a price to pay, like to be great at something. So it's like, I left so many times, like, well, she's at school and like, I missed so much. And he started crying and he was like, I'm just excited now. He, I feel like he was about to say, I'm like excited that it's over, but he was like, I'm excited now. And then he stopped to get more time back and sort of like undo some of the, the, the time that he missed. It was very sweet and I love them.

Yeah. Just a reminder that they are happily married.

So good to know.

So good to know. Like have a beautiful family. I really feel like they have a lot of peace in their life considering like how successful and famous They both are.

Yeah. And I think that like when they got married, they both decided, well, not him so much, but like her at least, like she was sort of like taking a step back, living more privately, having her kids. And like, obviously he still continued to play, but he's not like one of those baseball players who's like, like he's not like out and partying. Yeah. Like go, he's just like does his job and goes home. Yeah. I love that.

They also, so they have this 7-year-old daughter and their son is 15 months old. So cute. It was so cute.

Also, oh wait, Kate Upton has a son who's 15 months old. Yeah. We should have a playdate.

Yeah.

Um, Jalen Brunson also, I want to talk about, did SNL.

Yes.

Um, obviously I could not stay up till 11:25. That's insane. But I watched pretty much everything after, and it was also the first SNL. They have 2 new castmates. One people are really excited about, you know her. So she's the voice behind like, uh, you know, bring back a dead relative or skinny. And she's like, skinny! Like, and it's like, she's the skinny girl. Um, she's really funny. She's like a TikToker. I'm surprised like somebody had the foresight to cast her on SNL. Like, she's hilarious. I mean, you've probably like seen and/or heard like peripherally a lot of her like viral stuff. Um, so it was her first episode and then someone else, I don't know who they cast, but like they're not on TikTok. So—

How was Jalen?

Jalen's— Jalen is so serious, you know? So it was like kind of crazy to see him in like a new environment. The monologue was hysterical. Um, he had the whole starting 5 come because of course they're like a team. And oh my God, I was cracking up from a couple of them.

They're like a team?

Yeah, like they support one another. Jordyn Woods was there with Katseye. Like, it was a family affair.

I was cracking up. Is that what they call him, Katseye?

Is that what they call who?

Karl-Anthony Towns.

No, Jackie, Katseye was the musical performer.

Oh, I thought it was because he's K-A-T.

No, Katseye. They're the, the band, the girl band. Do you know them?

I do know Katseye, but I thought you were calling him like cats because that's his name, K-A-T. And then you're like, Cat's Eye.

The band.

She was there with Cat's Eye? What did she do with them?

She took a picture. She's obviously a really big fan.

Oh, she was like, on stage?

She didn't post anything except like a picture with Cat's Eye.

But she was also there with Cats, right? Her husband?

Yes. She did say hi to her husband.

You can see how that's confusing.

Sure, if you don't know who Cat's Eye is.

No, I do know who Cat's Eye is.

Sure.

I just didn't even think about a musical performer. I just was expecting you to end that sentence with her husband, so I thought they're calling him Cat's Eye now.

Yeah, well, she was there with her husband.

And Cat's Eye.

She took a picture with Cat's Eye.

Okay.

Um, and there were a couple of funny sketches. They did like a High School Musical thing where like Jalen Brunson's just trying to play ball and like everybody's like dancing and singing and it's like, get your head in the game, but like a fake version.

That's just good clean fun.

Yeah, it was a lot of good clean fun. Jalen Brunson like sort of is this like family man, you know? He's a role model for a lot of young kids. So like it wasn't inappropriate. It was really funny. He did a good job. And then the NBA season season like starts today, which is so crazy.

Yeah.

And they had, um, my boyfriend, like, who I love more than anything in this world, OG Anunoby. And so they had— he did like a Q&A with people in the audience, and the 5 people in the audience were the 5 starting Knicks, his teammates. And so they all asked like funny questions, but OG was like, do you remember that 3-point shot you took in the final quarter of the 4th NBA game? And Jalen was like, yeah. He was like, do you remember what happened after it? He's like, yeah, because he missed it and OG tipped it in. Like, it was hilarious. Wasn't that cool? Like, it was great. It was really great. And he's like so monotone and like serious. It was excellent. Everybody, you know, they all perform good, like little, little actors.

Oh, cute. Our 5th and final story—

What?

I just like, I'm not in the mood.

Oh, okay.

It was like, it was more of like a think piece, and I don't feel like thinking and like all that. Was there anything that you wanted to talk about?

Me?

Anything like specifically?

Oh, I've never been asked that before. Like—

I have a story for you.

Okay.

It's documentary news. Do you know who's getting a documentary about his life and career?

Shawn Mendes?

No, his already came out and you slammed it. You toast gave it 2 thumbs down. Rob Lowe.

Choose a different story.

Okay. You know what? I could give you a bunch of— What are you going to choose? Like, it was that New York Times list about the greatest shows on television, the like 100.

Okay, why don't we—

I don't know, I just feel like it's gonna— like, it's just— that's not how I wanted to end the show. I know, but it's like very—

a lot of people are talking about it, and I didn't think it was so bad. It's just insane that Gilmore Girls was on there. Literally piece of shit. Sorry.

Gilmore Girls was number 99. Yeah, so like, I think that's okay. There was 100.

So it's— what was the metric of the 21st century?

Like, was it the 21st century?

I was wondering why The Nanny wasn't on there, but it's like maybe it predates.

Oh, let's see.

The Nanny is the greatest show on television. Is 30 Rock on there?

30 Rock is on here, yes. Okay, so let's go in order. Here are—

And it's like the 21st century, so anything after 2000. Okay, that's why The Nanny's not on there.

Here we go. First, the number 1 show of all time according to the New York Times is Breaking Bad.

Which I'm fine with. I feel like there are a couple of shows that like could have— it could have been Mad Men.

Yeah.

It could have been Game of Thrones. Now they all follow shortly after.

They do, they do, but that's a big honor for Breaking Bad. Agreed, agreed, it's a huge honor. And I've never seen it, so that's exciting for me. You know this.

Yeah, I did know that.

You know that, but so that's exciting for me that like the greatest show of all time all time is waiting for me.

You should watch it.

Yeah.

Before it becomes like outdated, you know?

Yeah, I should. Then number 2 is The Wire.

Do you watch that?

No.

Oh no, you watch The Newsroom.

I watched The Newsroom. I liked that show.

What's The Wire? It's also about journalists?

Yeah, I don't know.

Okay, so random.

I thought— I guess it's about— I don't know, I thought it was about like The West Wing, but I guess that's West Wing.

That would be The West Wing.

Number 3, Mad Men.

Yeah, could have been, should have been 1.

Could have been, but you know what, it's like—

It gets its credit.

And you know, I feel like It doesn't have to be one. It could be 3. Number 4, Succession. Disagree.

I disagree too. It had the culture in a chokehold and it, maybe it should have been on this list cuz it was—

It should be on this list.

Like it was a really, really like amazing show, but that's crazy work to say. It's a— also, I just feel like if a show came out in the last like 5 years, it needs time to age.

And here's the thing, Succession is as— cuz I've seen both, so I could say the Succession is not better than Game of Thrones.

Agreed. Is Yellowstone on this list?

Oh, I don't know.

Let me know if it's on the list.

Number 5 is Fleabag.

You know what? I get vertical—

You should watch it.

I get vertical, uh, clips of it all the time and it's funny. And I think maybe, you know, maybe a postpartum show.

Number 6 is Game of Thrones.

Did I tell everyone I was pregnant? I forgot. 6? Like, that's insane.

That's too low down. It should be 2.

Top 3.

It should be top 3. It's really one of the greatest shows ever created.

Agreed.

I need to find a version of this that's like more succinct.

Like you need a screenshot of the—

Of 1 to 100 because they're really like dragging it out, you know?

Okay, well, I'll read. Number 7, oh, Veep. Oh, I love to see Veep getting the credit it deserves. And I agree, it's crazy how many of these shows are HBO, like, you know?

Mm-hmm.

Oh, 8, 30 Rock. Oh, I feel good to have like watched almost all of these shows except Fleabag and The Wire.

Yeah.

30 Rock is the best show ever made and it gets better with time. Curb Your Enthusiasm also.

Number 9. That's really good.

That's very high.

That's a high honor. 10, Atlanta.

I don't think I've seen it.

11, The Office.

Oh, obviously I've seen it. I've heard of it. Like, people love it.

Yeah, for everyone else, that's fine. It's like, okay. 12, Arrested Development.

Hard agree. Oh, hard agree, actually.

But then I would put Schitt's Creek up much higher than it is.

Is Schitt's Creek on this list?

It's at 34.

That's like really impressive for them.

I know, but it should be higher.

13, Girls. Okay.

Like, I think Schitt's Creek is as good as Girls.

It's better than Girls, but Schitt's Creek, I feel, is newer. Like, when things have more time to age, we look back on it like prolifically. Now, I did rewatch Girls while I was postpartum, and it is one of the best shows. Like, it really is. And I think it also captures like a generation and a place and a time really well.

14, Friday Night Lights.

Oh my God, I watch a lot of TV. Like, obviously it's my job. I'm like surprised at how many. I thought a lot of them would be like intellectual that they didn't want.

Yeah, but then I'm surprised, like, why is Friday Night Lights 14 and like The O.C. isn't here?

Is Gossip Girl?

No, and it should be.

Yeah.

Especially if Friday Night Lights, if like we're doing that sort of genre.

No, Friday Night Lights is in that genre, but it's a little bit more elevated than Gossip Girl and—

Yes. 15, Six Feet Under.

Never heard of it.

16, The Office UK. That just seems unfair.

Oh, I feel like we should stick to this being like an American list.

17, The Americans. I've heard good things. Oh, I've heard good things. I've seen the ending on Reels though.

You have?

Yeah, I don't— I didn't fully understand what it meant though, so I think I could, um—

I've seen the end of The Sopranos.

Um, oh, I haven't.

Even though it's like open for interpretation.

Um, 18, I May Destroy You, one season in 2020, but I guess you could have a, um, a miniseries because 19 is Chernobyl and hard agree.

Agreed.

20, The Crown, it'd be higher for me.

Agreed.

The Crown is perfection.

Agreed.

Um, 21, The White Lotus, you know I disagree.

Fair. No, but—

No, 21, we haven't even gotten to some of the great shows.

They should have just said The White Lotus White Lotus season 1.

We just— it should be lower.

Yeah, I agree.

But people are obsessed. Like, they have it in— they'll culture it in chokehold.

No, it's too high.

I can't fight with The White Lotus.

Okay.

I will lose.

You shouldn't.

Number 22, Lost. Like, yeah. Yeah, absolutely. I didn't see it, but yeah.

You didn't?

No.

Oh my God, it's so good.

23, The Comeback.

Oh, Valerie Cherish, of course.

24, Deadwood. 25, The Leftovers. 26, Black Mirror. Black Mirror was great.

Yeah, and sort of one of one.

And not like— shouldn't be any higher.

Yeah.

27, Better Call Saul.

Never watched, but I feel that it probably deserves that.

28, Band of Brothers. 29, Key and Peele. 30, Severance. 31, Survivor. Good for reality TV.

Is Severance so far the only show that's still on air?

Uh, White Lotus is still on air.

Um, that's pretty impressive though.

Survivor's still on air. Then Andor, then Enlightened, then Schitt's Creek, then True Detective season 1. Funny that they had to specify.

Season 1.

Yeah.

That's interesting.

Then The Pit, which is still on.

Yep.

Battlestar Galactica, Homeland, Watchmen, Adolescence, Louie, Hacks. Should say Hacks Season 1.

Agreed.

Peaky Blinders, BoJack Horseman, Happy Valley, Broad City, Twin Peaks, House of Cards, 48. House of Cards was good. 49—

I saw it.

Oh.

I know.

It's good, but I don't know if you would like it.

What's crazy is that like at the time Netflix had just come out and it was like a place to watch movies and then they're like, our own show. And they gave us House of Cards, and for a while people were like, okay. And now it's like everything is a Netflix original, but the first ever really was House of Cards, and it was amazing.

Yeah. 49, Normal People. You know how I feel.

Ugh, I love that fucking show.

50, Parks and Rec.

Yeah.

51, The Good Place. 52, Downton Abbey. That's a crime.

That is so low.

That is so low.

That's top 5.

You're saying Broad City's better than Downton Abbey?

Oh, I'm gonna throw up. It's It's not.

Yeah, The White Lotus is not better than Downton Abbey.

It's not.

53, Stranger Things. I don't watch, but I feel offended for Stranger Things fans.

Yeah.

Then The Bureau, then Insecure, then Nathan for You. Oh, he's the guy who's doing the Elizabeth Holmes stuff.

Yes, Friedlander.

I Think You Should Leave, then Chappelle's Show, then Pen15, then Peep Show, then RuPaul's Drag Race, then Slow Horses, then The Thick of It, then Anthony Bourdain: Parts Unknown. Then Mare of Easttown, then The Rehearsal, then The Handmaid's Tale. I feel like that would be higher.

The Handmaid's Tale, yeah.

Then Ozark. Feel like that would be higher. Then Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations.

Oh, 2 times.

Then The Shield, then Beef season 1, then Squid Game, Barry, The Bear, Ted Lasso.

Ted Lasso, yeah.

Season 1.

Yeah.

Season 3. Then Somebody Somewhere, Modern—

Oh my God, Somebody Somewhere, my show!

That's your show?

Yeah, it's like the show nobody watched on HBO. Bridget Everett, I told you. And when it got canceled, I was so upset. But you know what, not me being with the critics.

Modern Family.

Yeah.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

Not a lot of sitcoms so far.

No. Um, but Modern Family is a good one, and it created like a template that like a lot of good sitcoms fall under, but it covers the gamut. Um, Queen's Gambit is not here, so it's obviously a flawed list.

Yeah, but they did include miniseries because Chernobyl's—

Oh no, it's here. I'm sorry. '81. Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Good Wife. How to Win with— How to with John Wilson.

How To with John Wilson. Okay, it's all about how you like—

but there's not a colon. Um, The Queen's Gambit, Better Things, Justified, Planet Earth, Great British Baking Show.

Earth, my favorite show.

Shogun, Reservation Dogs, Dexter, Baby Reindeer.

Not a greatest show of the 21st century. Be so fucking for real.

Eastbound and Down, Catastrophe, The Night Of, Station Eleven, The Diplomat, How House.

Oh yeah, classic.

Halt and Catch. Community. Agreed. The OA. Gilmore Girls. Scandal.

Like, what was number 101? Like, what didn't make the list, you know?

Yeah, any glaring omissions? Any snubs? Yellowstone would be a snub.

Yellowstone.

It's Yellowstone right here. It's just like every other— it's up there with Succession.

Like, agreed. Yeah, that's weird. Like, And the show ending like so poorly, like affect— No, look at Ted Lasso. All the shows end badly.

Yeah, all the shows end badly.

Nobody knows how to end a TV show except for District.

No, that's an intentional leaving off of Yellowstone.

Yellowstone erasure.

Yeah.

Beth and Rip would never.

Yeah, but all of the Tyler Sheridan shows aren't there.

Yeah, but the only one that's supposed to be on it.

Lioness is on right now. People are loving that.

Not the greatest show of the 21st century. Yellowstone.

Yeah, I mean, it should be Yellowstone. Yeah, that's insane. But they won't give Yellowstone their flowers.

Well, those are the best 100 shows of the 21st century, and those are the fast 5 stories, even though it was like a literally fast 15 today.

It was yesterday. It was— I mean, throwing more blokes. I didn't know if I want to go down this wormhole on a Monday, but well, we did. We know you guys love lists.

Thank you guys so much for listening to The Toast, the Millennial Morning Show, where we deliver the fast 5 stories that you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube. So if you're watching us on YouTube, please feel free to subscribe and give this video a thumbs up. We're also available as a podcast anywhere podcasts can be found, so Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and YouTube. Wherever you listen to podcasts, find us. Tell us, leave a 5-star review about how beautiful, stunning, and wickedly talented we are. Have an amazing day, and we will see you tomorrow.

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