Transcript of Package With The Stars: Wednesday, September 23rd, 2026

Good morning, girlies, it's The Toast.

It's Jax and Claude and we're your hosts.

It's your favorite show, the fast 5 things you need to know. We'll start your day off swirly, it's The Toast.

I sound amazing.

Welcome back to The Toast and happy Wednesday. It is hump day. Don't forget to hump someone you love. And speaking of somebody I love, I'm joined by My co-host, my business partner, and best friend, Jaclyn Vallée!

Hey, how y'all doing?

I am doing overwhelmed. Don't you feel like we have so much to talk about today? Like, obviously Dancing with the Stars, obviously Taylor's new album. We didn't get to do Dear Toasters yesterday because it was the first episode back after a long weekend, so we pushed it to today. So we also have Dear Toasters today. It's kind of giving we should push it to tomorrow, but we won't.

No, no, no, no. I'm actually glad that we have Toasters today because—

I'm glad we have Toasters every day. We have Dancing with the Stars.

and we have Taylor's new album, and like, that's kind of all we have.

And you know what, that's kind of all I need, you know?

Yeah, yeah. No, but I think it's gonna be like a, a slow 3 stories today, maybe.

Then let me drop some tea in the PFFB, okay?

Please do.

2 things I wanna say. Now, I know everybody's sick of me being cardboard, and I, and I, I'm gonna tell you guys something. And lemme preface by saying like, I know I can afford it, yada yada, but I just like think conceptually what I paid for a pedicure yesterday is insane. And I guess I never noticed because I never get just a pedicure.

Right.

I always go manicure pedicure, but I didn't get a manicure.

I only did the one. And then you get a little massage and the bill racks up.

Exactly.

But you're like, I got a lot of services, so it costs money.

And I wanted to relax yesterday on my phone, so I said, you know, let's get a pedicure. And you know, my toenails were starting to scratch my comforter. You know that feeling?

Yep.

I got a dazzle dry pedicure. What do you think that should cost?

$80.

Oh my God, you're fucking crazy. $80? I'm fucking crying. Well, you just sort of like took the wind from underneath my story because it was $49 and I was like, $50 for a pedicure?

Okay, $50 for a pedicure and dazzle dry. So that's like between—

You do get a little bump.

That's closer to gel, you know, you're paying for more feet.

closer to gel.

You're paying for a more premium polish. Um, so $50 for a pedicure in New York City in 2026, Claudia, I really don't know how it gets better than that.

I guess, like, and conceptually, I do feel that pedicures— pedicures are an undervalued service because, like, this person's touching your nasty-ass foot. Like, and I have nice feet, like, relative to what I see at the salon. So I think that they've always been undercharging. But, you know, I grew up Where, you know, a manicure costs $10, sometimes $8.

Yeah. Oh yeah. It was like, should we go to the place that's an $8 manicure or it's $11?

And you know what? The times have changed and I'm glad for the pedicures because that is a service that we should honestly all be paying $200 for. Like, mm-hmm. You, you would have to pay me $200 to touch your feet. Like, yeah. So I was just shocked that I got like one service. I guess I, I never get one service, so I really saw it all itemized out and now I'm feeling like I shouldn't have shared the story cuz you said $80.

No, but I think that speaks to really like the cardboard nature because I guess, yeah. She's cardboarding too close to the sun.

But one thing about me is I do not cardboard when it comes to tipping at the nail salon. I'm like, I'm literally a Rockefeller.

Yeah.

I'm going 50, 60%.

She's not gonna accept those cheap allegations.

I won't, I won't.

I'm intuiting.

The thing about cardboard is that it's not cheapness. 'Cause I don't, I'm not stingy. Like, I won't not pay for it. I'm just gonna complain about it, you know? It's more of a conceptual cheapness. than a practical cheapness.

I understand.

Sure. And then the second T in the PFFB I wanted to drop— Is that a tea sip?

Yeah. Ooh.

Oh, really? I felt like we had such a great time. We had like the whole $80 joke.

Oh yeah, yeah.

You're welcome for contributing to the podcast in a meaningful way. Um, the second piece of tea is actually tea though. I feel that like something is sort of like, you know, we talk on the show, we have a bubble, you know? people listen. I feel like something has sort of like transcended the bubble.

Yes.

And I'd like to discuss it.

I would like to discuss it as well. Um, and especially watching Dancing with the Stars last night, like, my experience was kind of ruined just like knowing that the Hough siblings like think we don't like them when, you know, historically I'm a huge fan of Julianne Hough. Like, nobody's a bigger Footloose fan than me.

And I fear that unless you listened to the episode entirely, like you're sort of humorless about the whole thing because this clip went viral. We didn't clip it. There's like this account clipping our content, which I love, but like without context, I'm apparently crying for Jared.

And I want to see the account because I just heard about it yesterday. It's an account that clips our hottest takes, which even—

Well, I don't think it clips our hottest takes. It clips— it's like AI. It's clipping like all this shit. So all of the takes are in there, and there are a lot that are going viral.

Interesting.

From that one of them being the Derek Hough piece. And so if you listen to this episode, I was obviously kidding. Derek Hough is not my op. And I made him weenie 'cause he made me feel uncomfortable. It was a joke. But I guess this clip went so viral, I'm getting tagged in so many Derek Hough things, people being like, this is the sweetest man. And then Trisha Paytas talked about it on her podcast, also lacking complete context. And she has this, not co-host, but this guy who sits in the corner for episodes and he's a journalist and he's supposed to tell her all the facts. And he just watched a clip. It's like, those aren't the facts, sir. Yeah. So he's gassing Trisha up up being like, these girls are so annoying.

I saw a small clip where it really seemed like she was like, I really don't want to— like, I, I'm— I don't have any context here. Is this part of a joke? Is this part of a bit? Like, I don't know.

It's almost like there's someone on her show whose job it is to provide the context.

And she said that she likes us and that essentially she's afraid of us and doesn't want to go there with us. And—

That works for me.

That works perfectly for me.

I feel the same way about Trisha. I want literally zero beef with you. I respect you actually a lot. Um, we see each other, like, we're good.

Yeah.

But I feel that now it's getting blown up even more. Like, I fear I need to repeat myself. I was kidding. It's a joke. It's a bit. Derek Hough is actually not my opp, like, in this world. Um, yeah, we have like kind of a long storied history of being kind of like freaky fangirls of Julianne Hough. Remember when we like attacked her at that red carpet? Like—

I do.

When she had red hair.

I tried to find the picture yesterday and it's not in my phone, which is devastating.

So if that account could clip this to let like people outside of our show know, like, we're not a bunch of like weenies, like it was a joke.

And you have to really watch all of the Toast every day to understand our personalities and our segments. And if you're not doing that, like you can't adjudicate on a clip that you saw because you don't know what's in our hearts.

It's so true.

You don't know what's in our hearts.

Oh yeah. And so that like really— that guy like totally hates us, the one who like sits in the corner of Trisha's podcast. And he was bringing up another clip that went viral from that account was our take on Ashley Dupré. Actually, that might've been one of our own clips.

That was our own clip.

And so he was just like, they are annoying and have the worst takes. It's like, you don't get it. You don't get it.

No, you don't get it. I'm very proud of that take in that clip. You never will. And I feel like those of us in this generation feel that way.

Yes.

And you know what? It's a women's issue. So why don't you stay the hell out of it?

Well, I did feel like in large part, like not you coming into my female-dominated pop culture space and telling me I'm annoying.

Of course not. You trying to put, Us against Trisha Paytas.

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Couldn't be me. I would never pit a woman against another woman. You guys know historically I don't believe in that.

Yeah, there's a lot of history here today that we need to dig up.

Oh yeah, time to whip out the history books.

Yeah, I agree, I agree. We're like reaching people who don't know us, and that's always very scary because they don't know what's in our hearts, and they only know like our kind of viral hot takes. Mhm, mhm. And they don't know about our kids. There's so much heart behind them.

Hot and heart, you know, they are obviously hot takes, but when they lack context and you kind of lack, like, us knowing us, you're just missing out on the full experience of The Toast, and I feel sorry for that, of course.

Yeah. However, if you saw all of it and you're here today checking us out, welcome, welcome, welcome to The Toast Podcast.

Welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome. Welcome, welcome to the Toast Podcast.

Also, major update for me. I don't know if you'll be able to see from there, but anything look different about me?

Oh shit, let me see. You're showing me your hands. You're wearing your wedding ring?

I'm wearing my wedding ring.

Major postpartum mama milestone.

Asterisk.

You got it resized.

I got it resized so that I can wear it at more sizes, not just my bottom weight. And I feel like right now is actually a good time to get it resized because I'm sort of like Mid. So it'll, right, it'll fit me going up.

It'll fit you big. It'll fit you small.

It'll fit me on the way up and on the way down.

I'm cracking up.

So, and I actually didn't wind up like resetting it like I thought I was gonna do because I just, I missed her. So like, let me live with her and let's see if I wanna still reset it in a few months or in a year or whatever. And then I also got, um, a wedding band underneath cuz I didn't have one. Oh, that I like wore with my ring.

So I'm just like, ladies, she's off the market. Stay away.

Sorry, fellas.

Well, I feel that that's actually extremely relatable because everybody gets their wedding rings like at their skinniest. Like when you're at— except for me.

Of course, when you're starving for your wedding.

I got my wedding, all my rings resized when I was like on Ozempic, which was a huge mistake. I just got so excited like about the potential of the future. None of my jewelry fits me and I'm not getting it resized again. I'm just not.

Yeah, and the thing is like you can't wear the wedding ring on a different finger. Like other jewelry I can mix. If something I used to wear on my— The middle I can wear on my ring or whatever. Um, but this one invades me. You got one finger. And my ring was tiny before. Like, yeah, it was a 3 and a quarter.

That's insane, because like even at my skinniest I was a 5 and a half.

I just have small like hands, I guess. And what are they? They're just hands. And I just want to say, now it's at 4 and a quarter.

Okay, Biggie. No, I'm kidding.

And I, I still take pride in that number.

Of course, having little dainty hands.

These are so loose.

Like they say, God doesn't pick favorites, but like people with skinny hands and people with fat hands, no matter what your physical size is, like you just, there are some skinny people who have huge sausage fingers and then like little, you know, people, people who have like little dainty, skinny, long nails. That is a chosen person.

Mm-hmm.

Like, ugh. I have little wrists. I just want to say, like, no matter how big I've gotten, I've always had like the tiniest little wrist.

Yeah, because you are a small person.

And like, that doesn't help me in any life, but like—

It feels good.

Yeah, it feels good to say I have small something.

It's a small win.

Yeah, kind of. 1,000%. I'm happy for you.

Thank you. I'm very excited. Like, I missed— I missed it. I forgot what it's like. I'm like driving.

I—

in all the time that I've been driving is like when I've been a mom, so I haven't been wearing my ring. The Venn diagram is just 2 circles. And so it's like, it's distracting to drive with your ring on.

Oh, clear the streets. The new drive— the student driver just got engaged. Beep beep.

Toot toot.

Uh, oh yeah. If you're new here, we also sing a lot and we sound really good.

Oh, I think we all sing.

And our fans love it.

Oh, they say more, more, more.

This is like when you transfer into a new school and you like make up lies about yourself, like Mitchie Torres from Camp Rock, how her mom is the president of Hot Tunes China. Yeah, we are also heiresses. who do a lot of philanthropy.

Yeah, for sure. And everyone just begs us to sing more, put out an album.

It's exhausting.

Mm-hmm, but we do, we do our best.

And we did put out like a body of work. It was huge in Japan. Um, you might not know it, but we have like lots of fans in Japan.

We definitely do.

Do you got plans tonight? What happened to Shawn Mendes?

I know you're obsessed with him. You should have him. on the show. We could have him on Namesake.

Oh, we have a cousin named John. We do.

We do have a cousin named John. I also realized last night we can have Harry Shum Jr. on Namesake.

I'm okay.

If you want. I didn't realize in week 1 that that's a Harry.

Who else from—

Did you realize that that's a Harry?

I didn't, 'cause he's Harry Shum Jr.

I know, but then last night I saw when they had that diner in the beginning, it was like a, uh, they had the names like the Jenna Apple Pie or whatever, and it was like a Harry something. I'm like, There's a Harry on the show? Harry?

Now, who else from this season could be eligible for namesake?

Bruno?

Tonally only.

Bruno, tonally only.

I meant more like the contestants.

Listen, we've got to think big.

Mhm. Second, third cousins.

Wait, hold on.

Through marriage.

We don't have a Jenna.

By the way, think of your in-laws. Like, I think of people related to Ben.

No, I'm, I'm We don't have a Jenna.

No.

So that's like half the cast. We don't have a Tyler. We don't have a Julian. We don't have a Sharna.

We don't have an Ezra. Wait, really? Hold on.

Wait, we don't have Ezra?

I'm thinking Ben. We don't have Ezra. No.

We don't have a Savannah.

Bananas.

Or a Jackson. We could have Jackson.

We have Jackson.

'Cause it's the male version of my name.

Uh-huh.

We don't have a Giada.

Wait, Ben's great.

No, I'm kidding. We don't have a Connor. We don't have a Riley. There's 2 Ezras.

There is?

Ezra Sosa and Ezra Fetch.

Who's Ezra Sosa? Oh, I'm sorry, you're talking about pro. Okay, sorry.

Both, both.

Yeah.

We don't have an Amber. We don't have a Guillermo.

I wish we did.

Yeah. Britt, Taylor. We have a Harry. We have a Mark.

We have a cousin Mark!

So we could have Mark Ballas on.

I would love that. I've been meaning to chat with Mark Ballas.

I've been meaning to get Namesake off the ground. It's such a fantastic concept.

We have like a lot of sort of secret projects in the work. We can't really take on another project.

No, no, no. It's like, you know, one of my goals for when I have more time in my life, which like I will one day, you know, this is just a season.

Of course. And there will be a Namesake season one day.

There will be a Namesake season where I'm like, I want to take on more. I've got the time.

More journalistic.

No, like I just more projects right now. I'm, I'm sort of like at my limit in terms of like child rearing and work. But one day I think, you know, seasons change as they say.

When we're empty nesters, it'll be the Empty Nest Podcast.

That's cute.

Okay. Hopefully people are still listening. Yeah, yeah, please. We've got big plans for our retirement, so.

There's no such thing.

Correct.

There's no such thing. So do you wanna get into the stories? Because I feel like I wanna talk about Dancing with the Stars and I wanna talk about Lorde.

Me too.

So without further ado, it is time for the Fast Five stories that you gotta do. need to know.

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Thank you, Turdurance.

You're welcome.

By the way, re Bruno and the chicken bone.

You wanna give an update? He died.

No, I'm kidding. No, like nothing happened.

That's what we said. You guys thought we were like under—

Reacting.

Thank you. And like, we know our king. We've got at least 3 lives left, but the time will come. And like, when it's dire, we're not there yet.

Yeah, no, no. And there's been dire situations.

The bag of dark chocolate.

The sour gummy watermelons.

Right, right.

The movie theater size.

Yeah.

Yeah. Anyways, our first story, Taylor Swift announces new music. So I kind of wanna go in the order that we experienced it. Is that okay?

I would love that because I think the order speaks to some of my confusion.

So yesterday Taylor Swift— and we had been saying things were percolating over at Swift Nation. Um, and yesterday she posted the COVID photo for her new single and announced Patient Zero, a new song that she has been, quote, impatiently waiting to tell us that her brand new single Patient Zero will be out on September 25th, exclamation points. It's available to pre-order now for 24 hours, she said. And the photo was strange.

Yes. So let's talk about this in a vacuum outside of what we now know as of this morning.

Yes, that's what I'm saying.

I was so confused. Like, obviously I'm never going to be mad at Taylor Swift new music. And the thing is, while a lot of times I disagree with some of her style choices or her photo, she always releases good music. So like, I'm taken care of as a fan, fed as the kids say. But I can't lie, I was extremely shocked to see this what I consider to be like extremely low budget, giving headshot for like new actress in town photo for like the biggest superstar in the world. Like not only is it a hack job on the Photoshop, like I don't know what's going on on her armpit side boob area. Um, the mausoleum behind her. I'm just, I'm really not understanding the direction here.

Yes. But I also thought like, this is a new direction. Yes, of course. Much like Mr. Schuster. we're entering a new era and maybe it's like this like stripped down—

Sad gray era.

Just like something new because it's like T. Lo was so big and bright and bold and now we just get like stripped back, blurred, Patient Zero. So I'm like, okay, this is the lead-up to the next album.

And I was comfortable. I was also under the impression that this was goodbye.

I was comfortable with that. I was excited for that. Some of the other imagery that came out with like the record and, and this photo of her that looks to be like Candid, and she's in a black tank top. Like, it's all giving like this new somber era, right?

So we did get a bunch of other imagery from this single, um, different photos of her, but the same general vibe. LinkedIn, gray, corporate, and like almost like a little AI. Like the one of her like looking straight with the lace tank top— looking to the side, sorry— with like the little lace detail on her tank top and the low bun, like, is giving AI-generated. It was just like, it was shockingly low budget for someone who we know has unlimited budget.

So I want to say, in hindsight now, knowing what we know, I feel like these are like clips from a music video. So it's like, it is one vibe and one aesthetic from that music video. Yeah, I think it was just like a weird way to announce and lead with it, given that today we found out says Actually, she has the new album called The Life of a Showgirl: The Encore. So—

I don't even know if it's an album. Like, it's—

Yes, she's putting out the album again with 4 new songs.

Oh, oh, she's re-releasing the originals too? I thought it was like a separate album, like part 2.

No, it's like a deluxe album. And when you have a deluxe album, you still have regular on, and then the deluxe has just all the songs plus more. So this is her words about— and tell me if I misunderstood— about a year ago, you guys did a truly unfathomable thing. Something that completely blew my mind. You gave The Life of a Showgirl the biggest first week for an album in history. I took a trip to Sweden to celebrate with Max and Shellback, my 2 collaborators on this album. Max Martin can come on Namesake.

1,000%.

Yeah, unfortunately Shellback cannot. Really, we just wanted to reflect and take in how grateful we were for the moment we were in. I, by the way, I don't buy that they just took a trip to Sweden to celebrate something that happened a year ago.

There was no trip. No fucking way.

Okay, let me finish. So really, we just wanted to reflect and take in how grateful we were for the moment we were in, but there was a studio there, and we did what we do when we feel anything at all.

We wrote more songs. As Travis says, ah.

I hope you love them because they were born out of pure gratitude for your exuberance for and celebration of the album we made, The Life of a Showgirl: The Encore. including 4 new songs. So that means album plus 4 new songs is out on Friday and available to preorder and save now. With a photo from that era, like that was taken, you know.

It's like a new album cover, but it looks just like a sequel to that.

It's, you know, a different still from that cover shoot day.

How the original Greylington photos factor in, not sure yet. Um, now before I give my unfiltered thoughts, I do wanna give like a bit of a—

Wait, hold on. And then the 4 songs for the album are— the new encore songs are called Patient Zero. Hold on, I have them here. Oh gosh, Cleveland!

Cute.

With an exclamation point. Pink Clouding and Babylon. Oh, that feels like for me.

Okay, now before I give my true unfiltered thoughts, Lady Gaga already has a song called I need to give just like a precursor. Like, I love Taylor Swift. I'm her number one fan. So then you're just not just saying it today. I'm actually her number one fan, and I feel that I actually don't really criticize her ever. I'm like blindly loyal. Um, but I have a couple of critiques here that I think need to be said, 'cause she gets a lot of criticism for being like a money-hungry billionaire corporate greed. And it's like, I really can't defend this, you know? against those allegations, 'cause this is giving so much countdown, like hoopla for 4 songs, like not really an album. And while I love her enthusiasm for her body of work, the caption is just like not accurate. Like, while yes, it might've been the biggest album first week in history because everyone was excited for the Taylor Swift new album, that is not a reflection on the contents of the album. That's a reflection on where Taylor was at in her life with Travis, with the New Heights podcast, her being just the biggest artist coming off the Eras Tour the first time.

Like, it was a big deal. So it was the first album we were ever getting about Travis. So the album succeeding in that way is wonderful, but it's really not an implication on to what's inside the album.

Mm-hmm.

And I feel that as somebody who has listened to every single album the day they came out, like since she started, this was definitely like one of her lesser performing ones melodically and sonically.

And culturally.

And culturally, I think we need to like let it be. Like, if that's me, I'm moving on to the next thing. I'm not doing my deluxe schmolux palux because I don't really want to open this back up. It wasn't reflective of what I think her best work can be.

Yeah, I agree. And I don't understand the motivation here. Like, maybe it is to get more streams for T-Laws. You know, she always is working some like backdoor angle to be the most celebrated something, streamed this or that. But like, she has so much like more to say now. And like, the Showgirl era was now almost 2 years ago, so why are we still living there?

Was it?

Yeah, because she ended her tour when? I thought it was like in December, and it wasn't December. this past December?

Oh no, she said about a year ago you guys did something unfathomable, so it hasn't even been—

No, sorry, I meant not the album. When did she end the Eras Tour? The Showgirl era of her life? A while ago. Right, the Showgirl era of her life is almost 2 years ago, so she's lived so much since then, you know. She's obviously married and married this romance, and like, we want to be caught up with that. And so I guess these songs, though they were written more recently, they are about how excited we feel about the success of TLOAS.

No, and like, if you want to release 4 deluxe songs off of TLOAS, just like sort of to bridge you to your next album— I don't know when her next album's coming out, so like, you know, you don't want to not release music for X period— I feel like that's totally fine. Like, yeah, give us music, but under the guise of it being like a whole new album with the drops of the countdowns and she's going to the MTV Music Awards, it's giving the same type of formula of things that she does when she does actually release an album. It's like, if you make everything a big deal then nothing's a big deal. The same way she did the countdown for releasing a song for Toy Story. Like, you know, it's hard to get excited about every countdown. Who knows if it's gonna be a whole new album or one song.

Yeah.

Or a deluxe cover with a new vinyl or whatever.

It's always a new vinyl. It's always a new vinyl. Shiny bug. That's my limit, was the shiny bug vinyl.

Actually, do you wanna know what my limit was?

What?

Was All Too Well Which version? All Too Well sad girl version. Like the remixes. Like I think she did 4 or 5 remixes of the All Too Well. That is genuinely where she like— where I stopped tuning in for every countdown because I was like, oh, the countdowns are just not serious.

Yeah, yeah.

So that being said, like I pre-ordered already. I'm sat for the 4 new songs.

And what does pre-ordering get you?

Um, just like for me, I think it gets me like the ability to be a number one fan who can provide critiques. It's like, yeah, I'm still supporting But I'm criticizing as well.

But like, what is the experience of pre-ordering different than like me waking up on Friday and streaming the song?

Oh, I own it. I'm an owner. Like, on an airplane I can listen to it.

But you could also buy it on Friday.

Oh, I could buy it on Friday, yeah. But like, you know, good fans like to pre-order because it creates lots of hype. I mean, for Taylor, like, her songs are gonna get played on the radio, but for like a new artist, if they have a lot of like pre-saves and pre-orders, it builds hype, it gets them on radio.

But like, I understand like pre-ordering a because it will be there the day that you— that it comes out instead of ordering it on that day.

You don't get special access.

And it's like, I don't order books every day, so like, let me preorder it when I see the book I wanna read and then it'll show up one day. I listen to music every day. I'm not gonna miss it.

Do you currently have any book preorders like in the ether that you're just—

Sophia Franklin.

I have Jalen Brunson's children's book. Oh, that's funny. I'll get it next November.

No, it's like every time I go to my Amazon orders, it's like Sophia Franklin preorder for For a long time it was Babs's cookbook that was always like coming in so many months, but I see it every time I check my order. See, look, it's my only like outstanding order of something I've ordered that hasn't arrived.

That hasn't been delivered yet.

Yeah. Arriving November 10th. So, and I have this arriving today. What's this?

I also wanna say that I actually happen to really like this photo she chose for the deluxe album cover.

You do?

I do. Um, are you sure? Yes. Especially because I really didn't like The one she really chose. We got so much imagery from The Life of a Showgirl. Every time she released a song, it had a new like photo, and any one of them would have been a better cover than what she ended up with in the bathtub. And if this was the COVID of The Life of a Showgirl, what she just did for Encore, I would have loved. Her legs look sickening. Um, this is the vibe that she was going for, like very showgirl-y. So I would have preferred this.

Um, also the photo in the bathtub has grown on me to the point that I prefer that over this. This is just like dark.

No, I really don't like the bathtub.

Her face is shadowed. And also seeing all the other Showgirl imagery, you know, her in the getup and the feathers and everything. Um, there were so many better pictures.

Yeah, if you scroll through her Instagram, there were so many good ones.

And so many better pictures than this Encore picture.

Yes, look, I'm sending you— that's like always Taylor. She releases so much good stuff and never chooses— like her singles, her singles are never the best songs from the album, right? She doesn't like put forth the best. I'm sending you 2 that would have been so cute.

Fur. Yeah, I saw the first one. Oh, the second one. Sick.

Like, she did so many elaborate Vegas sort of—

No, and look, Swipe, because then she did—

She did the Givenchy.

Swipe, she made them into a cover.

So much better.

So much better.

The good news is that, like, the music will be good. Like, we get— we literally can and do criticize, like, all elements of Taylor. Like, her style needs work, like, but her music is always good. Even The Life of a Showgirl, which is to me one of her not worse because it's not bad, but no, it's still better than most of the music that came out last year.

But when you compare it to Taylor, it is so good.

Like, yeah, like even her what I consider to be like lesser good music is better than the garbage slop that's on the radio. Yeah, so we're still getting 4 new songs. Yeah, fun.

Yeah, I just like didn't love the rollout.

I was confused.

We were gonna get something, but we're— I thought we were moving forward. Instead we're moving back.

Yeah, and so it's like, it's great we're getting 4 new songs. It's giving like from the vault, but okay. And like, I didn't need anything. Like, it's only been a year, less than a year since her last album. Like, you're allowed to take a break.

Yeah, but they were—

And we're still getting—

And the studio was just right there.

Was just there.

Yeah, I just feel like she's so busy. Like, you don't take a trip to celebrate—

Excuse me, they would come to her.

They don't take a trip to celebrate the reception of an album that you knew was gonna crush.

1,000%.

Are you ready for our next story? Speaking of music news, yeah, this is kind of big. Ella Langley's song Choosing Texas has broken the all-time Hot 100 record with a 23rd week at number 1.

So, well, people say this is also why Taylor's releasing new music.

Interesting. But what does this—

even though I don't think Taylor's gonna release is gonna compete with this. No, but you know, it's like, you know, Ella Langley's had enough fun. time for Taylor to take control. Even though I do not think that. I think she also— she definitely has a complicated relationship with other female artists. I don't think she's like blanket support other women type of shit, and nor should she be, by the way. Um, and I don't think that this has anything to do with that, but that's a joke people are making.

That's funny. But if she really wanted to unseat Ella Langley, it's not going to be like with 4 new songs from an old album, from a deluxe, from the, from the cutting room floor. It would be with a new country pop album.

Even though the craziest thing is that New Romantics was a Taylor Swift deluxe song that you could only get if you bought the physical CD at Target, and it's literally one of the best songs, like, of our generation, you know? So you never know what could be on a Taylor Swift deluxe album.

Yeah, no, no, and I'm sad.

Yeah, but no, this is not going to be the thing that takes Ella Langley off the charts. No.

So Ella Langley just hit her 23rd week at number 1 on the Billboard Hot 100 with her song Choosing Texas, and she has just unseated Mariah Carey, who number 1 for 22 weeks in total for All I Want for Christmas Is You.

Right.

Because it comes back.

Every year.

Every year. So that's between 2019 and 2026, it spent 22 weeks.

Oh my God, Mariah must be flipping because that's actually like something I think like a record that she holds near and dear to her heart.

Well, I guess when this holiday season rolls around, she'll be back.

I don't know if she'll be back for 19 weeks straight or what was it, 22?

Yeah, I guess, but she'll get more weeks. Like, can she just add them on to her weeks?

Well, not if Ella Langley keeps keeping.

It's crazy.

You know what it is? Like, there are a lot of songs that go like viral and they really do eventually become annoying no matter how good the song is. I don't find that with Ella Langley yet. Like, it's still a good song.

Yeah.

Drinking Jack all by myself. Did you watch the music video?

No, but I see it right here.

It was, um, Kayce from Yellowstone.

Oh, cute.

Yeah, it was actually really good. It was like very high production value. They had a lot of stars in it. I really liked it.

Also, the rest of this list is interesting. Number 3 for 19 consecutive weeks at number 1 is A Bar Song by Shaboozy.

That's what I was gonna say when I say songs that get like a little annoying after 19 weeks.

For me, I love A Bar Song.

Started to nag a little bit.

Then Old Town Road. Yeah, remember that?

That got annoying quickly.

Yeah. Yeah, but it was good, good times.

Then that was just a crazy time.

Yeah, then Last Night by Morgan Wallen. Like, not a song I love.

No, but it is huge. Like, people who don't even listen to Morgan Wallen knew that song.

Yeah, then Despacito. Remember?

It's actually crazy how it's like all country.

I know.

Of course I remember Despacito.

That was a time. Despacito, 2017. And then One Sweet Day by Mariah Carey and Boyz II Men.

I don't even know that song. Isn't that crazy?

What year was that? That was 1995, '96.

Oh, okay.

That's why.

So I was like, just—

we didn't like have control. We didn't have control of the radio dials in the car.

I didn't have control of my thumbs. Like, I was 1.

Um, so congrats to Ella Langley.

Yes, I am curious what will happen with her at the Grammys. Like, will she sweep? It doesn't happen a lot with country artists, but like, it's sort of undeniably been her year.

Yeah, I don't know. She should.

She should.

But will they give it to her?

I don't know. They don't like love to give country. That's why it's such a big deal when Kacey Musgraves won, even though that album is like really—

And but like that, I don't know, something about Kacey, like she was more for everyone. And I feel like Ella is very country. And like, I don't know, Kacey, it's like she's just— I feel like she's very industry. She's on board, you know?

No, now, but like at the time Even when she won, people didn't really know who she was.

Yeah.

I just feel like Ella— It was like when Bon Iver randomly won.

Ella's a little more of a renegade.

I don't know. She is. No, she doesn't like play— she's very country and she's not like changing that.

Yeah.

And she's like, she's had this insane success and she has not changed one thing about how she dresses, her career, like literally anything, what types of venues she plays. Um, whereas like Casey was like very ready for the spotlight and like became America's sweetheart underneath that.

Very defiant.

Yeah. Right. No, I, Yeah, she definitely has. That's why she's like so friendly with Miranda Lambert, like that bad gal country vibe.

Yeah, bad gal.

And Miranda Lambert actually wrote on Choosing Texas, so she'll also win a Grammy if it wins.

Amazing.

Yeah, fun fact.

Are you ready for our next story?

Oh my God, speaking of Miranda Lambert, fun fact about me is that I follow Court Overstreet on Instagram.

Yeah, okay.

He's an old friend. And he went to a Texas Longhorns game and he posted like a carousel of pictures. When I tell you I could not stop staring at this picture because it was like the most random group celebrities, okay? Cordover Street. We know he's best friends with Glenn Powell.

Yes.

Of course Michelle Randolph is in the picture as well. Who's next to Michelle Randolph? Zac Efron. Who's standing behind Zac Efron? Miranda Lambert. Who's standing underneath Miranda Lambert? Madelyn Cline. Who's standing at the end? Cordover Street. And then next to Cordover Street, who's that? Oh yeah, Miles Teller. Like, I was looking at this picture, I'm like, how in the fuck did this group of people get together?

Well, the men in that picture make a lot of sense. Cord and Glen and Zac and Miles are, are kind of like very similar people.

They don't— I know Cord and Glen are friends, but I didn't know that they hung out with Zac Efron and Miles Teller. Miles Teller has like a very specific group of celebrity friends.

I think Zac Efron and Miles Teller are friends from that movie they did, that awkward—

Project X? Yeah, right.

Such a good movie. And then I imagine everyone else is just Longhorns fans, so like that's the celeb box But like Madelyn Cline is a Longhorns fan? Or is she dating Zac Efron?

Well, she's actually kneeling down next to Zac Efron in the photo, and no 2 people have less chemistry than them 2. I'm gonna send you this picture. Like, their shoulders are barely touching. They're definitely not dating.

Oh, come on, just let me believe.

I know, I thought too. I'm like, oh, maybe they're together. But like, seriously not. You could tell. And you know Glenn Powell loves college football so much. Like, that's literally— Chad Powers is like a love letter to college football.

Yes.

So like, this is obviously like a big night for him and Michelle, who are still going so strong. And I love—

The perfect couple.

The perfect couple doesn't exist, as the kids say, you know?

Yeah, yeah, this is it.

Did you know what I was doing?

Doesn't exist. Yeah, yeah, you stopped yourself because it does.

Exactly.

Are you ready for our next story?

I am.

Meghan Markle was spotted in the UK for the first time since she moved as she mingled with a fellow A-list expat, Ellen DeGeneres.

Oh, I saw they sat down for a little, uh, lunch à la française. No, what do you, uh, outside, what do you say?

Luncheon?

Sun chair?

Alfresco.

Alfresco.

An alfresco luncheon.

Yeah, I forgot that she fled the country, Miss Ellen. Wow, you think you've been canceled? She had to leave the country.

The duo were spotted chatting at the Three Horses near Burford, Oxfordshire, along with Portia de Rossi in photos obtained by Page Six. Don't make me call Portia. And this is in the Cotswolds, so it's still part of like the Cotswold takeover.

Um, did you see Prince Harry was interviewed like, oh, how is it being— and he said like, he was like, what did he say? Cracked me up.

He was like, It's bittersweet.

It's like, okay.

That's what he said?

Yeah, I need to find the video. I was like, I thought I was watching AI. I'm like, first of all, how are you interviewing him?

Where was he being interviewed?

It was literally just like a microphone shit. I don't know how the fuck I'm gonna find this video. I should have saved it because his answer was like hostage. Like, Prince Harry interview.

It was like one of the first.

Let me try and find that. Oh, here. How has it been Settling into the UK life. What's been your highlight so far? My highlight so far?

Would I have to share it with you? Look, the last 2 weeks has been, um, it's been, it's been eventful.

Has it been settling back? I guess that's all he said. Maybe he didn't say—

maybe he didn't say bittersweet.

It's been eventful.

Moving is eventful, so that's factual.

Also very stressful.

Yeah, no, but I would say I, I guess I'm like Harry and Meghan because I moved in the last few weeks and it's been eventful.

Yeah. He really has a way with words, that Prince Harry.

He sort of nailed it. Um, but Meghan's out in the Cotswolds with Ellen DeGeneres, and I think they were friends in Montecito.

Yes, she was at her birthday party.

Yep. And the— according to, like, they— yeah, they're friends.

Um, I guess this is like exactly what she should be doing.

Yeah.

Um, it's just like hard to get excited about this, you know?

No, no, I don't think we're expecting excitement. Just sort of like keeping tabs, monitoring the situation.

Yeah.

Waiting until we have an understanding of what the hell happened.

Yeah, right.

You know, this doesn't lead us any closer, but it's good to have a friend.

It's nice to have a friend.

And I think she has other friends too, but I think— I imagine Ellen like is— they can relate on a lot of things.

She's still friends with Priyanka Chopra?

No.

Right?

Right?

What about Serena? She had like a couple of high-profile friends who were at the wedding. Um, Serena Williams.

I feel like the dissolution of Priyanka like seemed very clear and like they were never spotted again. I'm sure she's still friends with Serena Williams.

And then that like Canadian girl who's like an heiress, Jessica something. But then Steve. They're not friends anymore. Yeah.

But then she was like spotted with a friend in Oxford, in Cotswolds last week, or like Like, I didn't click it, but they were either together or they were not together.

You know, I imagine she's a difficult person to maintain a friendship with.

Yeah.

She's got a lot going on. Like, she's— like Harry said, it's been an eventful couple of weeks.

Yeah. Are you ready for our next story?

Mm-hmm.

Some fashion news. Law Roach is now styling Kim Kardashian.

You know what? I love this. Even though I do feel like it's hard for other clients of Law Roach to like stand out, 'cause like he's just Zendaya's guy. Even though he does successfully like style a lot of other people, he's just so known for being Zendaya's guy. I'm surprised like Kim would wanna sort of be second fiddle to Zendaya, 'cause no matter who comes into Law Roach's life, they're gonna be second fiddle. Like even if it's, you know, the Queen of England herself.

Mm-hmm. But I feel like they could both sort of be number one, 'cause I don't really think they'll be competing for looks.

And I don't think— And I don't think they go to a lot of the same events.

I don't think they should be competing for looks. Like I think he should see something and it should be very clear if it's one or the other. Whether that's Kim. They're not like so similar. They're different ages, like in different categories. So like, I think he could effectively do both. People are really excited because her style is just sort of questionable.

So bad.

Over the years.

And like, it's crazy because she really— I don't know someone in recent history— people are gonna be like, Claudia, you're so dramatic— who's actually had a bigger impact on like what people wear. Like she invented—

What people actually wear.

Yeah, she invented so many trends. Like she really did. And whether you wanna say that was Kanye or her, whatever. Um, she has not had a good look or an impact on fashion in almost a decade. Like, she does not serve looks anymore. The last time she like made me feel something was probably like— her Met Gala looks stink. The last good one was Heavenly Bodies, and I think that was Kanye. I'm so over like her sort of like performance art fashion.

Mm-hmm.

It's not influential. She doesn't really make an impact. And it's crazy 'cause she's like this fashion girl, fashion girl, fashion girl. Like, Met Gala is her sweet 16, and it's like, I was like, what have you done recently?

Yeah, and I agree with what you're saying in the timeline. So it really does point to the fact that it was Kanye.

I know.

Because we're saying she hasn't had those moments like since.

And by the way, that's fine. Like, you don't need to, like, you still did it. Like, you were the influence.

But I will also say before Kanye, I feel like she was influencing what people wore and how people styled themselves. Like when they had the beachy waves and like the skinny jeans and blazers.

The blazers and the big pumps, yeah.

Yeah, and like people wanted to dress like them and now it's just like, like all lost in— It's like a freak show.

I would never even think to try to practically apply her sense of fashion to my own life.

No.

Whereas yes, like for so many years, like everything the Kardashians wore, we all tried to emulate. Like their Balmain era, like all the blazers. Yeah, they haven't, well, not they, she has not really served a look that stopped me in my tracks in a very long time.

Yeah, so this is exciting. And there was one outing that she, was wearing a look from Saint Laurent and it was styled by Law Roach and she looked good.

Yeah, no, it was a good, like, a good look. It wasn't show-stopping, stopping me in my tracks, but it was good.

Yeah, so this is just like a fun switch-up, I would say, and we can look forward to the looks.

I just feel like when, whenever you're in doubt, like, bring in Law Roach. There are certain people, like, who just know what they're doing. Like, when you're making a music video, bring in that Hannah Lux Davis. Like, there are certain people who just are good at their craft and sort of guarantee a positive outcome.

Yeah, agreed.

Like, if I want my makeup done, I'm calling Mario.

Yeah.

If I want my hair done, I'm calling Chris. Like, yeah, experts in their fields.

Yeah, but some people like, you know, like to do it themselves and find themselves to be creative, and which is also like good and fun. It's like, if I love doing makeup, like, I would do it myself. But—

Well, I love doing makeup and I like love getting it done. It's more so just like an exhausting type of of thing.

Yeah, I think this will be like fun change, change of scenery.

Me too.

Are you ready for our 5th and final story, which is Dancing with the Stars recap?

Before it, the Dancing with the Stars recap, and dear Toasters, let me let you know that today's episode is sponsored by Honest. Let's talk to the mamas for a second, or really anyone who's ever had to shop for a baby. The baby aisle is one of the most overwhelming places on Earth. There are a thousand options for everything— wipes, diapers, bath products, lotions. It's decision fatigue before you've even made it to the checkout line. So when you find a brand that you trust, it's one less thing to overthink. And now that we're moms, we totally get it. Before having a baby, I think I just thought like you buy what was on shelf. If they're selling it, it must be fine. Um, but you want products that you can trust without having to spend an hour reading every label. So finding a brand that makes those choices feel easy is a gift. And that's why Honest created Baby Essentials made for life's most delicate skin. Honest holds every product to their highest standard, the Honest Standard, which thoughtfully chooses the ingredients they put in and the ones they leave out. Their baby products are hypoallergenic, dermatologist-tested, so parents can feel confident in the products they're using for messes, bath time, diaper changes, and beyond.

The Honest Clean Conscious Wipes have become one of those things we reach refuse to leave the house without. Obviously they're great for diaper changes, but we use them for everything. So we've got them in the diaper bag, the car, the studio. They're one of those products that you don't realize you're going to use constantly until you have a baby. And now we always make sure to have plenty on hand. So from their wipes to baby personal care and diapers, Honest makes products designed for the delicate details that matter most. Shop Honest, the mother of all standards, available at Amazon, Walmart, and Target. Today's episode is also brought to you by Macy's. So boho is back. Everyone's doing boho, but they're kind of making it glam.

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Thank you, First Torter.

You're welcome.

Our 5th and final story, Dance with the Stars recap. Viral Hits Night sends one—

So I guess TikTok didn't sponsor this year's episode.

Viral Hits Night. And also it wasn't like just TikTok songs, 'cause it was like, that means it could be songs that were just virally popular in their day, like Despacito.

Yeah, the, the theme was like a little, uh, flex for me. I was like, I halfway through, I was like, wait, what's the theme?

Yeah, I liked it though. And then like, it was good music. Is The Door by Teddy Swims a viral hit?

I'm glad you asked.

No. Well, I enjoy that it is in your house, but otherwise no. It is viral in my Tesla.

So as always, let's just go through the dances. Let's go through the—

so good. What's that from?

I don't know.

Legally Blonde, Vivian Kensington to Elle Woods. Oh yes, you're famous at our club.

Shut up. Such a bitch. Let's go through the dances in the order in which they received— we received them.

Jenna, thank you to deadline.com, the only publication that does this for me every week. First, shout out, we have Jenna Dewan and Val Chmerkovskiy.

So it was a great dance technically, uh, you know, I like the outfits, everything was great. I feel next to nothing when I watch them dance, and I didn't vote for them because like, I felt nothing. I don't know. I feel that way about Howie Shum Jr. and Amber. Like, anyone— they're just good, and it's like, I'm happy for you, but you show me no struggle. Jenna Dewan could not be opening up less in her packaging. At least Amber Glenn was opening up about stuff. Like, Jenna's just like riding on the fact that she's a decent dancer. Like, she's giving us nothing.

Yeah, she kind of was feeling like the Hilaria of the season, which is such an insult, but someone who's gonna get by on her scores. until she has a bad week, because I don't know why she's just not coming off likable. And I actually think up until Dancing with the Stars, like, nobody has a problem with Jenna Dewan. She's like totally inoffensive.

Yep.

Actress, neutral working actress. It's also crazy that she was like Mrs. Channing Tatum for so long. She's a mama, and it's just not coming through.

There's nothing that I can connect to in her packages, in her dancing. And I'm watching, I'm like, yeah, it's a good dance. Like, they did really good. They did the best. Yeah, but I agree, I felt that searching desperately for like a fuck to give.

Yeah, so they got 21 out of 30. Then Sierra Miller with Brandon Armstrong, they danced to No Broke Boys.

Loved. Um, this is exactly what I'm looking for from my Dancing with the Stars contestants— vast improvement every week. And like, yeah, her explaining like, I was so fucking nervous, like, thank you, that's such a human element. Like I said, I'm always looking for things to connect with people, and I'm low-key watching the packages like with a very, you know, sort of— because you dance could be whatever, but like, do I like you?

For me, it's Package with the Stars. Like, I am voting for you and judging you. Title based on your package.

Yes. And so I felt like Sierra like really opened up, and she got a lot of shit. Everyone was like, you know, she has sort of— she was trying not to cry. If you watch Summer House, you know how her face is. But like, I guess what last week when Carrie Ann was like giving her like a beautiful moment, being like, I see your pain, she had this sort of of like stank face on, but it was her like way of not crying. I didn't think anything of it, but people who are new to her were like, oh, she has a stank face. So this week she was like really putting it on with the smiles and stuff. I was like, all right, Sarah, you don't need to do that much. But her dance was so much better. Like she's just a regular person learning how to dance. Like I felt that like if someone I know went on the show, they would have a similar arc to her so far. And it was refreshing to see like, yeah, good job, you got better.

No, and like last week was like a serious dance in the gown. It was all like sort of somber and like this week it was fun and playful, and I felt like she could come out of her shell a little bit. I do feel like the personality did a 180 from last week, and she was like in her—

People were too hard on her, so she was definitely like self-conscious being like, I don't want people to think I'm like stank face, resting bitch face. But so she was like kind of like on crack.

To the point that I didn't recognize her, and we've been watching her on TV for like 6 years, and I didn't know who that person was. But, um, Yeah, she's obviously taking the criticism and like really, really trying.

And you know what, I like when people take this seriously. And like, I feel that her dance last night reflected vast improvement, which is exactly what I'm looking for.

And you really are being so vulnerable going on this show.

Like, oh my God, every part of it.

Look, we're talking shit about everyone and their dances and their packages, and you're not— like, it's true. And she said like being vulnerable is so hard for her. And so like—

and we know that from Summer House, like she does have a wall up.

Even if you don't share anything in your package. Like, just going out onto that stage and doing something that you are not an expert at—

So brave.

And asking people to judge you is very hard.

Yeah, 100%.

So it was a good week for them. Then Tyler Cameron and Sharna Burgess danced to Girls by Kid Laroi, the viral hit from Off Campus.

If anyone wanted to know if I was okay, like, I wasn't for so many reasons, you know. Like, I fucking love Off Campus. Like, I'm still crushing on Garrett Graham. Like, I'm still thinking about it. For Tyler, I don't know whose fucking idea it was for like him to lean into the Garrett Graham, because yeah, for people, a younger generation who may not know Tyler, that's what he is. Like, he is Garrett Graham to millennials. And so I just about died. I normally don't love like the shameless sort of like taking your shirt off, haha, but I'm sorry, Tyler needed to let these bitches know. I, I actually was glad Ben wasn't there because I was like, I— my jaw hit the floor. I love I loved every second of it. The judges are just so fucking jealous. Like, they were just like, his scores were low. I don't care.

It was crazy that his scores were low. Fuck you, fuck you. 'Cause also, like, in addition to the cultural moment, I thought he danced really well. He did great. And as far as taking his shirt off, like, he is objectively and like clinically in insane shape.

I don't give a fuck, okay?

And like, Derek does it when he dances.

All the time.

You wanna see those muscles, Like move.

No, and it's important that like people know what Tyler is working with. Like his body, his looks, like it's a part of who he is and like why America really fell in love with him.

Part of the package.

And then the best part is that like you get to know him as a person and he's genuinely— so funny, someone texted me, someone texted me, was like, is Tyler actually like nice like that? I'm like, he is a mensch. Like he is the nicest guy ever in the whole world. Like so generous. And he uses his looks to let people in and then like they see his heart of gold. He had to do what he had to do because if you're not familiar with Tyler, they might've let him go home.

Yeah.

Now they know. And now we're gonna start to get to know Tyler.

Yeah. Yeah.

I voted for him 10 times.

Oh yeah. I was about to pull up my notes.

Yes.

Also the way that you feel about—

I was gonna be like a voting whore. I voted for everyone.

The way you feel about Taylor Swift like abusing the capitalist system with all of her like different vinyl editions is the way I feel about Dancing with the Stars. Dancing with the Stars, yeah. And their voting methods because what, every time I send a text they're collecting like 99 cents. Yep. making you text so many times.

Why don't you download it? Why don't you do it on your computer then?

Oh, I guess I could do it on my computer.

I think computers are great.

I like being on my computer. I voted for Tyler 10 times.

Yeah, he blew me away. And like, he knew, like, I'm— I was a target audience for that dance, you know?

Yes, you were.

And hot take, I liked it better when Tyler did it than when Belmondo did it at the concert.

I— hot take.

You guys know I thought that was weird.

Hot take. The moment in the show was insignificant.

Jackie, I didn't even remember it, but then I watched the show a second time and I was like, oh, that's the dance. But I didn't even know what the reference was.

He didn't even do anything. Next.

I loved it.

Julia Stiles and Ezra Sosa, they danced The Door by Twitty Swim, so automatic points for me.

She had an off week, I would say.

I would agree. I think she was so relieved to not go home because like she got a 16 and the package wasn't packaging and she could have gone home.

The package wasn't packaging. Like, I feel like last week her package like made me laugh, the Andy Cohen thing, like, and then the dance was so stellar. To me, yeah, I didn't really get anything from either, whether it was the package or the dance. Um, but it's— I think it's good when people have really strong first weeks and then they like fuck up because it's easy to get cozy and comfortable being like, yeah, I'm number one, everybody loves me, I'm so good. You know, you need to sort of become hardened.

Yeah, but also we want to see room for improvement. Yeah, so it's good to drop down as long as you don't get eliminated.

And then we're back up. I happen to like that they're grading everyone like based on a different— based on the person's individual needs. The only time it's like kind of silly is when you see the chart, you're like, well, that person wasn't better than that person. So it's like the overall chart, like I kind of need them to stop showing it because it's not accurate.

I mean, it's not a perfect system.

No, it's not. But I think it's better than judging because Guillermo Oh, what, should have gotten a 3 total, you know? But no, based on his unique set of abilities.

Yeah. Next, Jackson Olson and Emma Slater, a fun couple.

What did they dance to?

They danced to That's So True by Stacey Abrams.

Oh, that's a really good song, and he's so TikTok. Like, they knew what they were doing with that. Um, it was good. Um, I'm trying to remember, like, his package was what?

Not deep or anything.

It was fine. The dance was fine. It was all very mid.

Yeah, very mid. But I'm rooting for him but not voting for him.

Correct.

Then we have Giada De Laurentiis and Alan Burstyn. They danced to Bella Ciao by Becky G, which I didn't know that was happening as a song, that like she remixed Bella Ciao.

I had no clue.

Um, perfect song choice for them. The dance fell flat and they were sent home.

Yeah, because it was gonna be Giada last week, but her package saved her. And this week, not only was her dance worse, her package also left little to be desired. And I felt like also, I could sense that she was over this. Like, we've had our fun.

Oh, I don't think so.

I could see that her and Alan were fighting in the back a lot.

That was weird, but I actually feel like she was very sad to go home last night. She made a whole big deal about doing it and it wound up being—

I think it's more so about not wanting to be going home so early, but I got the sense that she was relieved to not have to show up to rehearsal tomorrow.

Well, of course.

Which I would be too. But it was clearly her time. I was afraid that it might have been Fibula because just performance-wise, he, I would say, like flubbed the most. Um, but he has a lot of fans. Like, people don't really care. And it's funny, like, sorry, I'm just jumping ahead to Fibula if I can.

He's next anyway. So Connor Wood and Riley Arnold.

Like, my heart broke watching him fumble across that dance floor. Like, he just missed a step and couldn't catch his feet for like 10 minutes. But I think he really, um, like won people over when he got up. The judges were so sad. And then Julianne was like, how do you feel? And he was like, I feel good. Like, he really had such a positive attitude. He's like, okay, well, we'll get better next week. It's like, oh yeah, like, this is just a show. Like, we're gonna be okay.

Yeah.

And you know what? I felt like he really saved his spot because I was like, you know what? That's an attitude. And of course I voted for him because like, honestly, I felt so bad. Like, it's something that could happen to anyone. You know, you trip up a little bit and it messes the whole thing up. He got it back together at the end.

Yeah. Yeah.

But he needs to improve. Like, next week, I think that it was either him or Giada. Um, and to get him out of that, like, sort of danger zone, he needs to really, like, kill it next week.

Yeah, agreed. Then we have Ezra Frech and Daniella Karagash. They did—

The winners.

Yeah, they danced to, um, Shorty Get Low by Flo Rida. It was incredible.

It was incredible. Every part of it. Like, obviously I watched him through the lens of like how amazing it is that he's able to do this with his disability, but like forgetting all that, it was the best dance, period.

Yeah, no, ability or not.

Limbs, no matter how many you have, you have extras or you have none, like it was the best dance of the night.

It was the best dance of the night. It was so well choreographed. It was fun. It was fresh. He really— his hips can really move. And it's so—

Well, and actually, you know what, I appreciated Derek Hough explaining it.

Making it about himself?

He— when he started to make it about himself, I'm like, is this guy fucking for real? But you know what, he provided interesting context.

It's relevant. It's so relevant.

And it was very interesting because he was like, when I danced— I forget the name of the person he danced with who also had a prosthetic leg— he was like, people who have prosthetics are so comfortable shifting their weight. They're so aware of it, more so than people who don't with And it makes them like so intentional about the way they move. And I, I could see it when he was doing that. So I actually appreciated Derek sharing that fun fact.

Yeah, no, he's like a great dancer. He's got rhythm. And it's been package-wise, it's been so interesting to see how they—

Learn about him.

How— no, to see how they tweak the moves to accommodate his needs. And it's actually like even more fun and fresh. It's like better.

That's why, first of all, she's an amazing pro.

She's insane.

Like, I think he would do well regardless.

She's insane.

She's insane.

Yeah.

They're gonna win 100%, like it's over. And also, I don't know if you know, Ezra French, a Jew.

I didn't know.

A Persian Jew, yeah, habibi.

I did know, and I was already rooting for him.

Me too, I was rooting for him before I knew that. But now obviously he is my number one. I text Ezra to 21523 10 times.

Of course, I texted 10 times for Ezra. Then we had Tatiana Ali and Jan Ravnick. They danced to What I Was Made For. It was like very emotional, talking about her upbringing as a child star.

Like, I just— I thought maybe last week was a fluke, that like I wouldn't love her again, like, because she is so random to me. Like, I didn't watch Fresh Prince. The way I love this woman, and I feel that she really represents like a demographic that watches this show. I think a lot of people see themselves in her, and a lot of people watch her growing up, so they feel connected to her. She will go far, farther than I thought she would. She's getting a lot better.

Yeah, but what's interesting actually is I would say she's pretty comparable to Julia Stiles in terms of like age and legacy.

Age and ability.

Legacy too, and the way like, you know, oh, nostalgic favorite actress. But I don't feel that tie to Julia Stiles like via package.

Yeah, well, Julia did say that she has like a very complicated relationship with fame and she's always run from it. And this show was like the so opposite of that. You have to make 1,000 TikToks a day and share every part of yourself. do so many interviews before, during, after. And so I feel that she does need to open up a little bit more to let people in, 'cause she's giving us kind of the bare minimum.

I don't know her.

Yeah, right. Whereas like Tatiana, I didn't really know her before, and I know her better than I know Julia Stiles. That's a good comparison.

Yeah. Amber Glenn and Pasha Pashkov dancing to All the Things She Said, um, it was really good.

I felt the same way about Jenna Dewan. It was so good. And I don't know, I just like, I wasn't moved to pick up my phone or vote. Like, it's just, it's like these people who are good dancers, they come in with an advantage. And for me, they come in with a disadvantage because I just like, I'm not impressed.

But then there are people who are good dancers who come in with that advantage and I love it. Like Whitney and even like Maura. Maura actually happens to be a great dancer.

Okay, but Whitney and Maura are not by trade dancers or dancing adjacent. Jenna Dewan is, Harry Shum is, Amber Glenn is a figure skater. It's the same thing. So it's like, it's impressive because Whitney is still a regular person. Those 3 are not regular people.

Okay. But I just wanna say like, I, and there's a lot of bad dance that we're watching. So like, I'm here, I, I would love to watch some good dance, but I'm also need to like feel something. And that's why, not to jump ahead, but Maura and Mark are amazing.

Yeah, she was really good. Not as good as the first week, but the thing is like she, okay, so I heard like a rumor about Maura. Have you guys heard this?

No.

This is totally unfounded from like TikTok comment section, but I've seen it a couple of times, that Maura, because she was cast really early, and I think she knew even before they announced it that she was gonna be cast, um, that she was like in classes like getting like trained, even though like a couple of weeks extra is not—

Oh, that's interesting. That doesn't make a huge deal, but so was Ciara. She was cast really early.

Yeah.

So was Jackson Olsen.

True.

We've like, we were doing cast even before we went to the Hamptons, we were talking about who was gonna be on the show. So I actually don't think that that's like a huge leg up. Maura just happens to be like a really elegant dancer, and I feel like she like has this unique— she reminds me of like Audrey Hepburn. She's just so like, like a fairy.

Elegant.

Like, and she has her own way of moving that I really enjoy. I thought last night was a delight. I felt like I was watching—

Yeah, once again.

Holly Golightly.

She did like have a little bit of a stumble, but who cares? Like, she, she will go very far.

And I think it's really hard to go last because if you get bad scores, you're probably going home because there's no time.

And by the way, she went last last week too.

No, she didn't. But it was also—

She went at the very end.

But it was broken up based on—

So last week when they broke it up, it was like, oh my God, so much content between dances, commercials, and interviews, and the troupe. And, and then this week it was like the dances were so short, the packages were so short, you could only say one word for the judges, and now we're going to commercial break.

It's like, well, they'll have to eliminate some people and then we can sort of slow it down.

We kind of need like a double elimination.

I agree, there's too many people.

It's too many.

Um, but it really sucks when you go last because there's 1 minute for people to vote for you.

Yeah, and that's why if you are on your phone at all during the show, like people who haven't danced yet and people who have, they are posting like stories, TikToks, text to— even if you haven't danced yet, I'm like, why would I vote for you yet? You haven't danced.

Yeah, I haven't seen the package. Then going back to where we are, Guillermo and Whitney Carson.

I know she's so tired and she didn't know she was gonna make it this far. And don't worry, I do think like probably in 3 more weeks you will be home with your family.

Sorry, we're not ready to say goodbye.

He's such a delight. I think the cast just loves having him around. His package, he, he, what he brings to the package is humor. humor. He cracks me up at those times.

But he's also like, you know, opens up about his wife.

And he really wants it. He wants to be there too.

Yeah, and he wants to improve. I do feel— I don't know if Whitney actually wants to go home because you also have to remember that every week that you're on is another paycheck.

You're paid, yeah.

Um, and it's just like great for your cachet as a pro. Like, I think last season was amazing for Emma Slater with what she was able to do for—

Do with Andy.

Yeah, so this is just like good for her. But I also feel like in the dances she is working too hard and she needs to do less.

Agreed.

Like, I— she's flying across the floor, like, with her leg up on Guillermo's shoulder. Please do less.

But they know what they're doing with Guillermo. Like, it's Andy 2.0. The camera angles, the, the knee slides with the—

it might even be better than Andy.

Agreed.

Because we all loved Guillermo even before he took one step. We actually— we didn't know Andy. And we were all dazzled by him, but like, we are already dazzled by Guillermo. Like, I, I can't imagine a week where I stop voting for Guillermo.

I'm sorry. I can't imagine either. That's how I felt about Andy.

And did you see Whitney's gender reveal?

She's having a third boy.

She's having a third boy.

So cute. Her kids are so cute.

They're so cute.

Platinum blonde.

They're such a cute family. The video was so cute. I just, I love her.

I love her too.

Mazel tov. To the Carson McAllisters.

Yeah.

Next we have Taylor Hansen and Britt Stewart.

You know, I actually forget what they did.

They danced to Cake by the Ocean. They wore teal.

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, it was fine. People love him.

Like, okay, good. I'm glad someone—

I like Britt. I want her to go far. I feel like she gets the worst partners.

She does.

Who did she have last season? Barron Davis. Like, yeah, come on. I want her to go far.

Not bad. I just like— I can't muster up a fuck, honestly.

No. And I feel like the position that like he would hold in my rankings is like taken by Savannah Bananas.

You think so?

Yeah.

Yeah. No, another one like Savannah where I'm rooting for you, I'm not voting for you.

I'm not necessarily even rooting for you, but I'm not rooting against you.

There are people I'm rooting against.

1,000%.

Would never say it.

Of course.

Then Harry Shum Jr. and Jenna Johnson, they danced to Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls. It was a—

Oh, he screamed at us. Did you see him scream?

I don't, I don't know what was happening. I didn't watch.

He did this like cathartic, like, ah, what'd I tell you? My butt cheeks clenched.

Like, apparently his dance last week and like this week is going viral, like for cringe. Like, oh, did you see last week?

I mean, It is from Glee.

Did you see last week when they ended their dance and it had that heartbeat? Like, and he was like, don't—

Yeah, yeah. Like, yeah, that— The thing about Harry Shem Jr., it's Jenna Dewan, Amber Glenn 2.0. Like, good for you, you did amazing, I don't care.

And the package has not brought me in.

No, although I did see somebody, you know, they have all the reporters come to the dance floor after the show wraps, like interviewing people.

And he—

they were like, which of the Glee people like are gonna come? Because you always have your celebrity friends come. And he said, um, a bunch of them have texted, they want to come. He said Matt— that's Matthew Morrison, right? Like, if he brings Matthew Morrison to the ballroom, I will vote for him every week 10 times.

Oh really? I thought you were gonna like vote for everyone else 10 times to get him off.

No, I'm sorry. Oh, have I not updated you guys that I've done like a complete 180 on Matthew Morrison? I love him.

No, you didn't update us.

Obviously, like, I sort of led the charge in uncovering the cringe that is Mr. Schue. Do you know what happened to him on 9/11?

Yes.

Um, that's not what did it for me. I've just been seeing like a lot of—

It just sort of like— he didn't do anything. It's a crazy story. He didn't do something heroic. He just had—

No, he got stuck in the subway, so he was like literally underground for most of the day. By the time he got out, he went to his house, his girlfriend was there in bed with another man.

Yeah.

Who had sex on 9/11? Like, that's insane.

Yeah.

Um, but no, I've been seeing like so much content of him, like from his concerts that he does, and he does a lot of cameos, and like, you know what? Like, he's kind of sweet, and I, I'm, I'm switching my tune, and I want him in the ballroom. Him on Dancing with the Stars when? He definitely has been.

He definitely has been.

So then Giada went home and we're all okay.

Yep. And next week is Yacht Rock Night. Okay.

Like I said, extremely weird themes.

Like, extremely weird themes. They were also teasing some of the future themes. I forget what it was, but it was weird.

Today is also Wednesday, which—

We're doing it. We're gonna do it.

Oh, what, you wanna push it to tomorrow?

I don't know, it just like got sort of crazy. And what if tomorrow there's like a—

I know, and it's like kind of a long episode.

It's a long episode. I'm scared there's not gonna be stories tomorrow 'cause no Dancing with the Stars, no Taylor Swift.

Okay, I mean, I'm open, but like just know if the GTQ is coming for anyone, come for Jackie.

Come for me. But like, you guys, I just— I feel like tomorrow's gonna be thin 'cause today was so thick.

No, and I don't want this episode to be so long that we can't get it up in a timely fashion like yesterday.

I agree, we have to cap it. I'm sorry.

Yell Jackie, not me. Thank you guys so much. To the toast of the Monday Morning Show. Blue books closed. We're here to love the fast 5 stories you need to know every Monday through Friday. And YouTube, if you're watching us on YouTube, please feel free to subscribe and give us a thumbs up. We're also available as a podcast anywhere podcasts can be found, Spotify, TuneIn, Stitcher, Apple Podcasts, wherever you get your podcasts. We have a star review review setting and weekly countdown. We are— hope you guys have an amazing day. We'll see you tomorrow.

Love ya. Bye.