Transcript of Dancing With The Semi-Stars: Thursday, September 17th, 2026

Good morning, girlies, it's The Toast. It's Jax and Claude and we're your hosts. It's your favorite show, the fast 5 things you need to know.

We'll start your day off swirly, it's The Toast.

I sound amazing.

Welcome back to The Toast and happy Thursday. I hope everybody's having a great second half of the week. We made it, congrats.

Congrats, grads. It's Thursday. Exciting stuff.

Very exciting. Is there something you want to say to me?

I like your yellow sweater.

Well, thank you, but no. Is there something you'd like to wish me?

A happy anniversary.

Yes, it's my 9th wedding anniversary. I got breakfast in bed this morning. I almost forgot. Like, I knew it was going to be the next day, but then I woke up, I wasn't thinking about it, and Ben was gone. It's like, where the hell is he? Then he comes in with this steaming plate of French toast. Great way to start the day.

That's really cute. Happy 9-year anniversary. That's a lot of years actually for a girl who's only 25.

So true for a child bride. And you know what? It doesn't feel like that many years because every time it turns, like our anniversary, I start saying we've been married for 10 years.

And now you're like, wait, we haven't even been married 10 years.

I thought for sure this was like our 11th wedding anniversary, so to hear it's only 9, I don't know, I'm not impressed.

Yeah. Are you guys doing anything fun to celebrate?

Well, you know, Mama's gotta work this evening, but I've turned my work event into a romantic evening for 2.

Oh, how romantic.

Yes, no, actually it is. I have to go to— I'm going to an event for work, but it's so Ben Soffer coded that he is my plus one, and I think he'll have a better time than me.

Would he not have been going— if it's so Ben coded and you have a plus one, would he not have been going with you? even if it weren't your anniversary?

Why don't you just be quiet?

Okay, sorry, sorry, sorry.

Why don't you just be quiet?

I just, it's hard for me. I guess if I knew more details, like I could picture it.

I'll tell you guys tomorrow.

It actually just sounds like you're bringing him to a work event.

I technically am bringing him to a work event, which obviously on its face doesn't sound very romantic of me. But once you learn more about the event, which I'll tell you guys all about tomorrow, I'm not in the business of telling people where I'm going and when. I will— you'll understand me more tomorrow. Tune in tomorrow.

And do you guys do presents on your anniversary?

Well, I don't do presents, period. Like, I don't buy presents for Ben. Um, and I just know maybe— how old is he? 30? How old are you?

He's 34.

Ben's older than you?

His birthday is before mine. He's born in April.

Oh, you're November, right? You haven't turned 34 yet. Okay, yeah, so Ben's 34. And so I don't buy Ben presents. It's just not in my nature. 'Cause like, what can you get for a guy? Like, all they really want is a watch. And so I know that maybe in an upcoming, maybe our 10-year anniversary, or maybe his 35th or 40th birthday, I will be on the hook for an enormous watch. And it will be an accumulation of gifts from Valentine's Day, anniversaries, birthdays that I literally have not gotten him a gift for in the last 10 years. So I'm starting to save for that.

But is he getting you a gift for your anniversary?

And then Ben is the total opposite. Like gift giving is his love language. He does not stop buying me gifts. I'm literally begging him. I'm like, stop. I don't need more. And I'm sure I have a gift coming my way. I told him to spend no more than $300 and he like laughed in my face. So now I know this is like a, for like a monotonous problem to have, but it does. Like, I don't need presents and I don't want, like, when I want something, I'll let you know. Yeah. But until then, like, don't waste your money on me and on, on silly number 9.

There's nothing that you're pining for in the world.

Just like a breast reduction and like things he can't give me currently.

Things he can't give me yet. I understand, I understand.

Uh, the things I want most in this world can only be given to me by the Lord. Yeah, you know.

Yeah, or by like by yourself, you know, or by time.

Yeah, like I, at this present stage in my life, like my deepest desires are not material, and they were at one point for many years.

And you know what, I think they will be again one day.

Hopefully.

Of course.

Hopefully.

I agree, I'm in the same boat. spot. We don't do presents. Like, I, I— but I still love my material things. But of course, of course, it's not like how it used to be, which is good because there are other things that I love more, you know? Like, I like my Skechers sneakers and I love my Prada backpack.

I think it's a sign of maturity. Like, I used to put so much emphasis on material items, and I would literally like value how much Ben loves me based on the gift that he got. So obviously I created a monster, and now like he can't stop. He's like on this hamster wheel at Chanel. And now I'm like, you know what material items mean? I'm like Shailene Woodley. I'm like getting rid of all my earthly possessions.

Yeah. But I feel like when you're early in your relationship and when you're young, there's only like so many ways for someone to like show you their love in a way that you wanna receive. Like he could have cooked you an amazing dinner, but like that wouldn't feel like love to you. You know?

If Ben early in our relationship cooked me an amazing dinner, which he did like all the time, but not for special occasions, I probably would've broken up with him. I was seriously like so shallow.

Oh yeah, if he thought that was a gift.

I was like, this is your gift?

Right, but now, like, I mean, he cooks, it's different because he cooks for you all the time.

No, but if he made like a special meal, I would say this is so sweet. Right, right.

Maturity. Maturity.

Oh, that's funny. And that's on being mature. He knows what I really want.

Which is?

A Paris Baguette. A Paris Baguette. I'm never gonna let that joke go, like, it's insane. And you know, I guess they're like the official long-term sponsor of the Dancing with the Stars. podcast, which is why it keeps coming up. It came up on last night's episode too.

Is the Dancing with the Stars podcast that storied and, and long-running?

I think that it has wide reach. I don't think it's long-running. I think it's kind of new.

Oh, okay, okay.

But, um, it seems like it's, you know— and I didn't know Paris Baguette was in the podcast sponsorship business. As a podcaster, obviously I find that information extremely interesting.

And Paris Baguette is Korean. I heard from the comments.

You're kidding. I knew it wasn't Parisian. I just figured it was like Tulsa, you know, like really American.

Yeah.

Interesting.

The more you know.

Let me tell you, they're operating at an extremely high level over in Korea.

They are. Look at my skin.

Do you use Korean beauty?

GU. That's what I use mostly every night are my toning pads and my NAD cream.

I use my toning pads every morning, actually.

Sometimes I used to use them in the morning. I go through waves right now. I'm using them at night. I need that cool This is not an ad for GU, but I'm sure we have one soon.

Hopefully. Not today though.

Not today.

Thank you to all of our sponsors, of course. Yeah, shout out to our sponsors. Always a good time to thank our sponsors, you know?

It is.

It's never a bad time, it's never too late.

We actually have very good stories today, plus Dancing with the Stars recap.

What are the stories? I'm like blanking.

Yeah, it was actually really hard to like whittle down, um, just like sort of like random stuff.

I'm sorry, I did get a gift. I don't know why I like literally forgot, 'cause that's what I did yesterday. Ben got me a massage at like a very fancy spa.

Great, how was it?

It was nice. It was nice.

Oh my God, she hated it.

No, no, no. She hated every minute. The massage itself was great, which is genuinely all that matters. But of course, when I go to a spa, I get all my money's worth. Like I go early and use the facilities.

Yeah? The facilities were not up to par?

To me, I judge a spa based on its relaxation room. Like if you get there, I like to get there early, of course, like shower, steam, sauna. Well, not sauna, I like to steam. And then like get all cozy in a robe and lay on like a beautiful divan while I wait for my therapist to come pick me up in the relaxation room, they usually call it. So I judge a facility based on its relaxation room. Let me tell you, there was nothing relaxing about this room. It was insane. First of all, there was 4 chairs, like just not enough.

It's a waiting room then, it's not a relaxation room.

And they had like beach lounge chairs.

Okay.

Without a cushion. So you were just sitting on hard plastic.

They don't want you to be comfortable. They don't want you to spend your day there.

That's the whole point of a spa. Like, I'm sorry, the price of a massage is insane. Like, I'm paying for, for a day pass to use the amenities.

No, I'm just telling you, like, if they wanted you— if they wanted to, they would. And if they wanted you to be cozy, they would put out the comfy cushions.

Yeah, there was no cushions. 1,000%. It was like hard as fuck. My constipation was really flaring up.

I need a relaxation room to have like a little bit of a, of a yogurt almond.

Yeah, okay, so they did have snacks, of course, like a water with like mint julep, which actually the water The water was delicious.

I do need some water.

They had a bowl of apples, not even like sliced or anything. It's just like a lot to like chomp, like chow down on.

And are they washed?

I had no information on where the apples had been. And then various like nuts, dried fruits, like classic spa fare. Nothing inspired.

Nuts and dried fruits are acceptable. Not exciting, but again, they don't want you chowing down.

See, I didn't like the— I could feel the hostility in the facility. Yeah, and that's—

I can feel it here. I could tell you what their motives were, which was to get rid of you.

1,000%.

So I'm sorry, so you wouldn't go back?

The rubdown, I would. The rubdown was really good.

So some places like are just about like a great massage and like it's not about the bells and whistles.

Yeah, bells and whistles were not chiming for me yesterday. Okay, unlike Tracy Turnblad, I could not hear the bells.

I can hear them chime.

Just hear 'em chiming. Actually, you know what, something I didn't realize as I entered motherhood was that like I would be singing the Hairspace soundtrack almost daily. I sing—

Is that your go-to?

Nicest Kids in Town and Good Morning Baltimore pretty much like every bath time.

That's so cute. So those are your go-tos?

Yeah, you don't realize like what you're going to end up singing.

If you had told me That it would be—

I actually, I probably could have guessed.

I could have guessed for you, but if you told me it would be like Elvis Presley, I'd be like, what?

Yeah, right? It's just so funny where the wind takes you.

And I really have to thank Austin Butler for that. Like, 'cause that movie Elvis came out when my first son Harry was a baby. And then I just like really started liking that song, Can't Help Falling in Love. And now it's my lullaby for all 3 babes for 4 years now. And if Austin Butler didn't do that movie, like that would not be the case. Isn't that crazy?

It is. And let's talk about Austin Butler doing that movie.

Austin, yes.

And how it kind of like, in my opinion, ruined his career.

He didn't have a career before, so.

He didn't have one after either.

He just sort of kept thing— it went like this.

Yeah, right.

And then back down. Like there's a spike.

Like it never happened.

But other people say Dune and he's in this and he's in that.

I'm sorry, nobody on the planet is ever going to convince me that Dune is a successful franchise. And I know like you could show me figures, you could show me ticket sales.

It is.

You know that it is.

But it's not.

It's giving like bots, you know? Like only bots have been to the theaters.

Oh no, I disagree, but I understand where you're coming from. I understand.

Shout out in the comments, like, have you ever watched Dune? I just don't believe— and maybe it's because I don't know if in my life I've ever come in contact with somebody who has watched Dune.

I think my husband has. I think he—

Really?

Yeah.

I'll have to chat with him then.

Yeah, but you know he'll go see anything.

He loves the movie theater, so like honestly his bar is kind of low.

But it doesn't mean like— but, but so he did still see it.

Zach's criteria for seeing a movie is like, is it in theaters? He does not watch things that are straight to DVD. Like, he just wants to go to the theater.

No, and I think sometimes he watches movies— like remember we caught them watching, um, Deadpool? We did?

I like, we caught them watching porn.

No, because remember I told you like years ago That my husband is always watching Deadpool, like weirdly.

Well, if Ryan Reynolds has no fans, like your husband died.

Like, I know, I don't know what it is.

He's obsessed.

Like anytime it's on TV, like if he stops on a channel that's playing Deadpool, like he will always watch it.

I guess like it's his version of like Legally Blonde. We would never skip over Legally Blonde.

It is. And so I was trying to tell you this a few years ago and it came up a couple times.

And I wasn't in a place where I could, I could listen.

And it came up a couple times, like over the course of the show. I think we were even in the Hamptons like 2 summers ago. And then in the course of those conversations, those few weeks, we walked in on them watching Deadpool with your husband too.

That's seriously funny.

We caught them.

We caught them red-handed. No, I feel like husbands love Deadpool because obviously like Ryan Reynolds, Blake Lively, it's like their reputations have been like deeply tarnished in the last year or two. And I don't think it's affected the husbands. Like they still love and ride at dawn for Ryan Reynolds.

It's nothing Deadpool can't fix.

It's so true. What is Deadpool? I only know— what's like the character they made off of Ryan Baldoni?

Yeah, like something pool.

Yeah, like Fempool. Like he's like a fake feminist or whatever. What was his name?

I forget.

That was funny. Sorry.

That was, that was like a funny time.

Yeah, wait, which part?

Uh, just that part.

No, like the Deadpool part or like the Blake Lively Ryan Reynolds time?

No, no, just the part where they made like a character of Justin Baldoni that was like You know?

Yeah, I enjoyed that.

Like Woke Pool.

Woke Pool. What was his name?

Okay.

What was it?

Nice Pool. Nice Pool.

All right, that sounds like such a good name.

No, that's good. That's really good. That's really good. Nice Pool.

What'd you have for dinner last night?

A little branzino.

Oh my God. Did you go out or you didn't make branzino at home?

We had at home.

Wow, you desecrated your new home by cooking fish in it? The M. Hoffers is really getting to you.

The home is meant to be lived in.

I don't know, fish is an out-of-home type of thing.

No, we have fish a lot because we have a lot of salmon, so we're not like anti-fish.

Salmon is especially— actually, I think like cooking branzino, Ben cooks like a Dover sole. Cooking a white fish in your house, I believe, is safe as long as you get it from, as Ben calls it, a good fishmonger.

Also, I cook fish—

Salmon particularly.

I cook fish in the oven, not on the stove, so it's not as aromatic.

Great.

But that's not why I do it, you know. I just like don't like to cook on the stove if I don't have to. Um, so it's— when I cook salmon, it's like not a big deal. It's not like—

That's crazy.

It's not life-ruining.

Oh, I think I would have to move. Like, salmon like seeps into your curtains.

And I also I can't like go another minute like being inauthentic. I didn't cook it. Um, I brought it in.

Oh my God, that was like low-key deceptive of you. I love that.

It was, but you know what, I'm not a deceitful person, so I, I had to come clean.

So you ordered takeout and the takeout that you got was branzino?

Branzino and salmon, yes.

Yeah, I feel like branzino is— unless you're like a true world-renowned chef, it's not something you can whip up at home, even like a good home chef.

No, but also it's bones.

Yeah, of course.

But I do cook salmon at home, but I did not last night. I just like, I don't know why I couldn't just, couldn't just take the win, you know?

You could have just owned that.

No, I couldn't just like let you guys think like, oh, she makes branzino at home.

Well, this is our fatal flaw. Like, we are far too honest with our audience. Like, it's so true. It leaves us feeling like, you know, raw and wounded, but it's all for the sake of content.

It's just who we are though. You know, that's true.

Yeah, I, I guess I've never realized it before, but I am like a chronic oversharer. I don't know if like I was born that way or it's a byproduct of sharing for a living. And like, the better this show is, the more I share. Like, the more I share, the better the show is. So it's like I feel rewarded when I share. So I know that I've seen it now impact my personal life. I'll be at a party or like I'll play mahjong with someone new and I'm just like telling them so much shit about myself and I'm like, girl, shut up.

Yeah. Oh, I was gonna ask if you meant like online or offline that you're an oversharer. You think offline you're an oversharer?

Yeah, I do. I have found myself being like, I need to like keep my, like, my shit a little closer to the vest.

Yeah, but that's what makes Turdi Turdi, and that's why everybody loves you.

I also feel like I'm very easily readable. Like, if we go somewhere and we meet someone new, like, you will know by the time we get in the car. You'll be like, oh, you hated that person, or you liked that person.

That's true. But I also feel like— Maybe that's just because you know me really well.

I find that like, I maybe don't like— I think that a lot of people can read me like that.

I don't think so.

No, you don't think?

No, I think everybody's scared of you.

Oh, this fucking fake-ass narrative. I'm literally so generous and kind and charitable, it's insane.

And we're so scared of your generosity, kindness, and charitable nature.

I just want to say something, speak— speaking of charity. Yeah, I'm so charitable, it should— it should shake you to your core.

Shaking in her boots.

I want to make a major shout out because there's no point in doing charity if You don't get credit for it.

That's actually quite the opposite, but, but go on.

I wanna give a major shout out to Shannon Ford. So I was on my, you guys know I'm on the board of the Mark Schönwetter Holocaust Education Foundation, and it's end of year, which is like a huge time for fundraising for us. Um, and we were looking for people to match donations. So like, you know, wealthy people to like help, you know, if we raise $10,000, Mark Bloomberg will match it or whatever. I haven't heard from Mark Bloomberg. So I, of course, you know, went to work. Texting a couple of people, instantly Shannon Ford, $5,000.

Queen.

She's a queen for that.

Queen.

So if anybody else is a wealthy individual and wants to help with the fundraising efforts, please, uh, wealthy individuals, reach out to me for this. And I have a couple other things I need to talk to you about.

I love that. I also didn't even tell you, like, one of the highlights of my day yesterday.

What are the highlights of your day? I wasn't chatting with me in the morning.

Oh, of course. So I said one of, amongst that. I played Maje on an automatic shuffling table.

What?

Yeah.

How did you not share?

We've been recording for 18 minutes. I know. I've been like, I meant to tell you yesterday. I like took a picture of the table. I was like, 'cause we were talking about like—

Oh my God, you didn't send me a picture.

Just 'cause when we were just talking about like sharing with new people, I was like playing with new friends.

You met new people.

And I was like, oh, I have to take a picture for my sister Claudia.

And then you didn't even send it to me, you fucking bitch.

I played on an automatic shuffling table, yes. Ask me anything.

Okay. I was under the impression that the automatic shuffling tables were only made for mahjong tiles the size of Hong Kong mahjong, which is not the version we play. That's like Chinese mahjong. You found a table that was for regular size tiles?

I was under the same—

Oh, I'm sorry, our size.

I was under the same impression too. And yes, they were, oh, they almost looked like Oh My Maj tiles, but the faces were like the same as those Amazon faces. And they were the type of the size that we were used to. I was shocked to see.

And do you feel like you played so many more games because the setup was so quick?

Yes. I would say we played 5 games in 1 hour.

Oh, that's a lot.

Yeah.

That is a lot, a lot.

It was really amazing, but it makes you super lazy.

And you were hesitant.

It makes you super lazy because then it's like, you feel like, oh, we still have to deal. Like you get really lazy.

LOL. That's funny. That's really funny. Okay. Wait. And did you find— because you had said that like you were a little hesitant to do an automatic shuffling table because you find the shuffling, while laborious and annoying, it's kind of the only time you don't have to focus so much and you can chat, catch up, and then the game starts and you kind of go quiet. Did you feel like you didn't get to catch up with your, with your Maje crew yesterday because you didn't have time to shuffle?

Um, we— there was definitely plenty of catching up. Whether or not like I got enough, you know, brain-off time versus brain-on, uh, it was definitely an adjustment for me, but worth it. Well worth it.

Wow. Do we need to invest in a table?

Especially because when everybody's like shuffling and deal and, you know, racking, other people get up and go to the bathroom or get a snack.

And so, yes, it's a reset time.

It's not really like the big group catch-up that I think it is. Do we need to get one? Like, yeah, maybe. Yeah, I'm putting a Maje table in my house that's already ordered and was like custom.

So, um, that's so annoying.

I'm getting it and it's like cuter. I mean, the, the The table, you don't get that pargitude with the automatic shuffler. Yeah.

It's not like gorgeous.

It's not gorgeous. It looks like you're running a casino in your house.

Right? Like a poker table. The thing is like, we're always playing mahjong in a rush cuz like we either have like a 2-hour window for naps or like some kid's about to be home, like, or it's late and we wanna go to sleep. So if we could play more games, like, and if we could sort of increase our efficacy.

Mm-hmm.

And our output, I think it might be worth the investment.

Yeah. I wonder how much it is. I didn't wanna be like uncouth. Actually, I didn't even think to ask, but even if I thought—

I'll be uncouth.

Even if I thought of it, I don't think I would've asked.

How much is an automatic shuffling mahjong table? All right. They obviously vary. Wayfair has one for $720, but I don't think you would like it.

Okay.

This one, which looks like a casino table, is $2,000. Oh, Wayfair has one. Oh, I think it also comes with 4 chairs for $5,000. You could go, you could go small or big.

Okay. I wonder, like, hers was really good because it fit those size tiles that we like.

Yes, so I think a lot of these are also Hong Kong size, which doesn't work for us.

Yes.

Interesting. Yeah, I'm seeing lots of varying costs.

Okay, well, maybe she'll hear this and just like text me the price.

Send me a link.

So I don't have to ask.

Maybe she has an extra one in the garage.

So I don't have to ask. Yeah, right.

Um, okay, I mean, we do have like a lot to do today, and I feel that I've gotten off my chest everything I wanted to get off my chest.

Me as well. So let's get into the Fast Five stories that you need to know.

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Thank you, /turt.

You're welcome.

Our first story, Olivia Jade pokes fun at the college admissions scandal with a cheeky new Reformation campaign. So Reformation just launched its new preppy fall campaign, and it features Olivia Jade in collegiate wear. So she is wearing a sweatshirt that says college.

Just says college.

They captioned it, the kind of crew that suits her better.

And crew is also what she was— the sport that she was like fake on the team for. Now I just wanna say, I am thrilled and relieved, like as a culture we've got, 'cause I haven't seen a lot of backlash to this. Like I am thrilled that we've gotten to a place where we can all like sort of collectively just like shrug at the college admissions scandal because at the time, like, every conversation about like privilege and wealth was sort of like pinned on Lori Loughlin and her daughters. And I think that that was probably difficult for them. And in hindsight, like, seriously, who gives a fuck? Like, who gives a fuck?

Yeah, yeah.

Also, like— I'm glad we're all like poking fun at it now because at the time it was so serious. Like, for what?

It was, but they They did the crime, they served the time, which is like insane for what they did. The fact that like people went to jail for it.

We can't even send Lindsay Clancy to jail, okay?

Right, right.

But Lori Loughlin's getting locked up abroad.

So I think like it was more than time served in terms of making things right.

100%. And she— Olivia Jade has really successfully relaunched her career, obviously, like dating notable people, launching her own makeup brand, going back to YouTube. But she's never really ever, outside of Red Table Talk, which was like genuinely an iconic moment, you had to be there, she's never talked about it again. So this is the first time she's sort of referencing it, and I like— L-O-V-E, love. Olivia Jade could like really not do anything to make me dislike her. I just love her.

Yeah, it's true. And then they said they're going to be donating 100% of net proceeds from this style, so I guess from like one of of these pieces to YES Scholars, a nonprofit that helps expand higher education access for students from under-resourced communities. Because I guess you can't like—

Well, that's great.

Just make fun of this scandal and not like, and not do anything about that.

Oh, but you also just like can't make a donation to underprivileged communities without like, you know, starting stuff, you know?

Yeah, without also like earning the money.

Profiting off of it. Yeah, right, it's so lame.

But that's always the thing with like percentage of proceeds. It's like, well, you could make a donation, but this works too. Like, you know?

No, no, I have no problem with this. They're getting ahead of any sort of potential backlash because ultimately it benefits underserved communities, which is great. Um, and I just love this. What's funny is like I saw this picture going around and I was like, why do people care? It didn't initially sort of hit me that she's wearing a sweatshirt that says college and she's like the college admissions girl. 'Cause I do feel like she's really successfully like beaten the allegations and like moved on with her life.

I mean, so much time has passed. It's been 6 years.

She dated Jacob Elordi. Like so much has happened.

Yeah. I think everyone just really moved on from it. It's crazy the way that we have amnesia about things when like something was like the biggest deal or the biggest story in the world and then you forget.

That's always how it happens. That's really why they say like time heals all wounds.

It's true.

You just need time. Like, I just remember that like month where the college— and like you couldn't speak on it without like seriously everyone coming for you. It was such a fucking sensitive issue.

Oh, was it?

Talking about like education in this country and privilege and wealth and access. Like, it was so hot button. Oh my God, and now we're making fun of it. Like, seriously, thank God.

But then there's also— just be careful, because then there's also people who do something once 6 years ago, 10 years ago, and we'll never forget it, you know?

It's true. Time doesn't heal all wounds.

So I don't know what to tell you.

It's circumstantial.

It is. But just know, like, things can be forgotten.

I don't know. I feel like me and Sam Hunt is like really proof that maybe some wounds take longer to heal But like eventually, yeah, like I, I did get over Sam Hunt's DUI. A couple of good songs helped.

No, but we're still talking about it. That's different than like forgetting, because like literally every time we talk about him, we mention it.

Yeah, but we mention it because we're saying we're over it.

And like when we talk about Olivia Jade, we don't even mention it because we don't even think about it.

It's true, it's true. Jackie actually sent me such an interesting blind item. Yeah, we dabble in blind item culture.

I did send you— what was it?

Oh yes, it was clearly about Kelly Clarkson.

Oh yeah, I'm glad you're bringing this up.

So let me read it to you. To her credit, this singer turned talk show host—

This is from Angie, the original blind.

This singer turned talk show host turned singer, AKA Kelly Clarkson, probably could have gotten the headliner slot but was willing to let the legend have it for the desert festival. She's getting paid the same as him though. So that, people assume, is Kelly Clarkson and Garth Brooks. She is playing the night before him. I just wanna be clear, I had no issue with her. with her being before Garth Brooks. It's like, why couldn't she have been— like, she didn't need to be on Sunday is what I'm saying. She could have been Friday or Saturday. She should have been above Riley Green or Zach Topp. No, I had no problem with Garth Brooks, I just want to say. But yes, I could see that definitely being the truth.

Yeah, I feel like it was her choice. I don't think there was a snub in there, is all I'm saying. And so I also think— doesn't sound—

what's gotten Kelly so far in this industry is like she doesn't get bogged down by like these sort of ego ego-driven, um, like stats and, and vanity things. Like, she's playing Stagecoach, everyone's gonna show up for her. There'll probably be just as many people there for Kelly as for Garth. Like, everyone's just gonna come for both. Um, she gets paid and she gets to go home early. Like, woohoo!

Yeah, I think she's just focused on the paycheck.

Yeah.

She would take it at any time because it's like, true, who cares what time you perform?

Yeah, and she's also like slowly getting back into live performing. She's obviously been doing karaoke and stuff. That's a small studio audience. Stagecoach can be 100,000 people. So you know what, maybe take it slow.

Like, do I have to go?

You think Kelly's gonna go on tour? The thing is, I obviously thought about that as well. Should we?

I think about it every year with Stagecoach, and I'm just like waiting for this undeniable lineup that will make me go, like Luke Combs, Rascal Flatts, and Kelly Clarkson.

Yeah, I don't think about it every year because I've sort of made peace with the fact that like I'm not in my— there were, there were years where every year I was like, yes, of course I'm going to Stagecoach. And I'm not in that era right now. And there have been great lineups that I've missed and I've been okay with. Um, the only reason I thought maybe this year, like, we could, like, seriously just pack everyone up and go is because of Kelly. But I do think this is not gonna be our only opportunity to see Kelly now that the Kelly Clarkson Show is over.

Yeah, I agree.

So I feel confident that, like, she will be coming to a city near us.

Yeah, no, and if the rest of the festival, like, were more compelling for me, I would have made a trip potentially, 'cause like we could go on a trip.

Consider it.

We could go on a trip.

Of course.

I could go on a trip.

There's stuff to do in Palm Springs.

Well, I'd go on a trip.

Of course, we travel.

But alas, no.

Alas, no. The rest of the lineup wasn't compelling enough to even think about it.

For me.

For me.

But not for you.

I don't know, Florida Georgia Line.

For you.

So what is the lineup, like the 3 headliners?

Riley Green.

That would get you— No, whoa, whoa, whoa. That would get you to like seriously pack everything up and go?

Rascal Flatts. I'm gonna not say Kelly Clarkson because I didn't even know she was an option up until this point.

I know, because she's like— she is country in some ways but not in others.

Yeah, Rascal Flatts, Luke Combs. Like, not to be basic, but like Morgan Wallen.

Morgan Wallen. Yeah, me too, me too.

Same. Yeah, with like, I don't know, maybe Cody Johnson is like right before Luke Combs.

Ella Langley.

Yeah, I like Ella Langley, but I like— I'm, I'm not like on the, on the train, you know?

I am. Like, I've in the last couple of weeks almost 2 times, almost 2 times, like Margo almost convinced me to go to Philadelphia over the summer. Like, I almost went. And then like 2 weeks ago she was playing like deep in New Jersey. Margaret was like, should we go? And I thought about it. I didn't, but I thought about it.

Yeah.

If she comes to New York City, which like being a country fan in New York City is genuinely like one of the worst experiences ever. Nobody comes here. And if they do, it's like 2, maybe 3 hours in Connecticut or New Jersey. Nobody comes to the Garden, or let alone MetLife. Like literally nobody.

No, it's either PNC Bank or Jones Beach. Also honorable mention, Lady A, I would show up for.

I would as well.

I could swap out Morgan Wallen for Lady A, 'cause you can always see Morgan Wallen. He's like, you know, young and touring.

Yeah, yeah.

And you'll find him somewhere.

Yeah. Um, what was the story?

Olivia Jade.

Olivia Jade.

Of course it was.

Just, I like to see people sort of unabashedly like not giving a fuck.

Yes, and brands as well. This is good for Reformation.

Yeah, I have like a little bit of respect for Reformation. Brands are so afraid to like even embroil themselves in something remotely controversial.

I know.

'Cause people will like stand outside their store and like throw rocks walks through the window. So you know what, like, I love this.

Yeah. Are you ready for our next story, which is really crazy?

Really?

Actually, yeah.

Yeah, I cuss a little.

Travis Kelce has been named as a victim in a multi-million dollar fraud scheme by prosecutors.

This is really crazy.

Travis Kelce has been taken for a ride. He's been named as a victim in a fraud scheme by prosecutors in a Missouri court, according to reports. On Tuesday, September 15th, Siddharth Jawaar was sentenced to 11 years in prison.

And we were just talking about Siddharth, like, yesterday.

It's true. According to a press release from the U.S. Attorney's Office, Eastern District of Missouri, Siddharth pleaded guilty to 3 counts of wire fraud in January and has been ordered to pay more than $31 million in restitution to his victims after running a Ponzi scheme, the release noted. According to outlets, Travis Kelce was only briefly mentioned in court, and prosecutors did not expand on his connection to the case. However, a Forbes article published in 2021 states that Kelsey was an investor in the SwiftArk Venture Labs fund created by SwiftArk Capital LLC, an investment company co-founded by Siddharth.

Yeah.

Siddharth ran the investment company SwiftArk Capital LLC and began investing clients' funds in a single investment, Philip Morris Pakistan, in 2015, per the press release. However, when the value of the investment declined, he didn't tell the investors instead claiming they were making profits and of course took Peter's money to pay Paul.

Pay Paul.

And that's how you get yourself in a Ponzi scheme.

Yeah, I feel that the headlines around this were kind of misleading. It made it seem like Travis himself lost $31 million to this random guy.

Of course they want you to think that.

How stupid are you?

Okay, but they want you to think that because they want you to click.

Yeah, and it turns out like he's involved in, I think, like a, a random way, in the same way that like I think when you're a celebrity or just very wealthy, wealthy person, like these random opportunities come to you and like you take one, you give a little money here, a little money there. So I, I feel like that's what happened between Travis and Siddharth. Yeah.

That he's just like one of many complainants.

You know, it kind of sounds like Brendan Fitzpatrick of Real Rich Kids of Beverly Hills fame. Are you following that saga?

Like a little bit.

He, um, like sort of swindled investors. He raised like $80 million telling people that he like solved like seriously the energy crisis in Like Nepal or something. And of course, there was no solve. He didn't. Um, and he's like out, and I think his investors are suing him. That's what it is. Yeah, like, give us our money back.

We went through that story. We tried to get our heads around it.

Yeah.

And we couldn't. This seems pretty like textbook Ponzi scheme, right? Um, American Greed. I look forward to the episode on Siddharth.

explaining the whole thing.

Yeah, though I, I get it. For a while I didn't understand Ponzi schemes because I was like, where's the money going? Like, when Bernie Madoff loses hundreds of million dollars, I'm like, you can't even spend hundreds of million dollars, right? Like, even though he has, you know, a house and a boat and this and that, like, where's the money?

Yeah, I think that like very, very rarely a Ponzi scheme like actually works out fine because like at its core, at the beginning, you just need to borrow money from this account Because this account, like, I fucked up and I need— but once that money comes back, I'll pay the other guy back. Sometimes the money comes back and like, you're good.

I would love to hear from someone who almost entered into an unsuccessful Ponzi scheme, but the ship righted itself.

The issue is like the original core issue, like that money never comes back, so you just end up stealing from everybody else to cover where you just stole from. But there's always going to be that chunk missing, and that's where the cycle begins.

And also, you're pro— Because you lost that initial money, like, you're probably bad at business and you're going to lose more money, and you're a thief, and cheaters never prosper, and you're just gonna keep losing money. Like, it's not like that was a one-off of money loss for you.

Yeah, taking from a different account to like cover another account, it's just like genuinely bad decision-making. And so I can't really trust that you're gonna fix this.

And, and don't forget, like, you lost that money to begin with. Why did you lose that money? Because you made a poor decision in business because you're not smart.

But I— there are definitely people walking around who like almost—

Yeah, I'd love to hear. I mean, I know they'll never tell us because like they committed a crime and they're just happy they got away with it and that everything was okay. But like, yeah, I would love to hear if like you started a Ponzi scheme and like it worked out for you and like you just really needed to borrow money temporarily.

Yeah, don't do it. This is seriously my worst nightmare.

Which part?

Like, I think it happens a lot where like you— this not the Travis— you mean Travis is your worst nightmare? Like, being like Elvis. Elvis being stolen from by like people close to you. Dane Cook famously, I think it was like his brother or someone, like literally stole $100 million from him.

Like, okay, so that's different.

Yeah, that's my worst nightmare, like having my money stolen.

Yeah, not—

I think that's like everyone's worst nightmare actually. I don't think I'm unique in that.

Being robbed is a nightmare.

Yeah, right. No, but like, obviously when you think of being robbed, you think like someone breaking into your house like with a gun. No, I'm talking about like, like transfers, withdrawals.

Like, yeah, especially by people you trust. It's a breach of trust, right?

Right.

Yeah, I understand. Not being Siddharth is not being— that's not your nightmare?

No. And for Travis, like, I'm thrilled to learn that he probably didn't take a huge hit on this Pakistani venture.

I also saw a funny tweet that was like, they for sure Sure have an ironclad prenup.

Well, this would never happen to Taylor. Let's just say that.

It's true.

I don't know.

Swift arc.

Well, I thought that was weird too. Hopefully, and I feel that this is probably the case. Like the people who manage her money and stuff, like are now managing their money.

Yeah, he needs.

He sort of went to her people.

He needs to level up. But also, we would say, like considering he's like the less moneyed one in the relationship, like he needs to have like. financial independence. And he does. I wouldn't, I wouldn't recommend if he were the woman in this situation, I wouldn't say like, go use your husband's money managers. I wouldn't. No.

How do you think they are sharing finances, if at all? Or do you think they're totally just keeping everything separate?

I think everything has changed. I think like, yeah, hers is hers and his is his. And—

But I'm sure you saw they bought a house. Um, it went viral, like in Kansas City. In Kansas City. I, that'll probably be like their primary residence.

Yeah.

Who paid for that?

I feel like he did because I think he did too. He, though he's not the primary earner, he wants to be like chivalrous and still have those responsibilities. And she would never be buying a house in Missouri if it wasn't for him.

No, and it's kind of best case scenario for him because like the nicest house in Missouri is probably around like $6 million. But it's like if he played, if he played for the Giants or like the Rams, he would be on the hook for $100 million.

Splitsville.

Yeah.

And have seats. Not break up, sorry. Split the bills.

Like, I'm sure you've seen that, um, I don't know if it's like a BuzzFeed or whatever, it's like, here's what a million dollars gets you in all 50 states, and it's shocking.

Yeah.

Like, literally shocking. In LA, it gets you a double-wide trailer. In like Michigan, it gets you a palace.

Yeah, like a home on the lake.

Yeah, right.

Damn.

It's insane.

Damn.

So yeah, I, I also agree that he bought it.

Okay, cute. Yeah, like he was— and then Taylor feels like he would spend his last dime on her, and like that's why he's a good guy.

It's true.

Yeah, but the thing is he would never have to.

No, because like thanks to her he has lots of dimes.

Yeah, yeah, and she would like never let him—

Like we forget that him and Jason got like a $100 million podcast deal.

Oh right.

Oh, in addition to being State Farm, Subway, Pfizer, uh, his football contract, which is hefty too, uh, he's like an, uh, a TV show host. He hosted— he's fine.

Yeah, yeah, he is. Are you ready for our next story?

What number?

3.

Yeah.

You're gonna hate this. Secret Lives of Women and Wives star Taylor Frankie Paul allegedly failed multiple drug tests, and her custody time with her kids has been reduced to 8 hours a week. And I believe that's So that's 4 with the older 2 and 4 with the younger son, with Dakota. Um, so it's—

Obviously I hate this.

Yeah, but it also answers some of our questions.

And I did take a little heat for suggesting that maybe she was using drugs. People are like, Claudia, you really don't understand mental health. Um, now what?

So yeah, a new report is alleging that the mom of 3 has failed multiple drug tests in recent weeks, and as a result, she has lost out on visitation time with her children. According to TMZ, sources close to the custody case tell the outlet that Taylor failed the drug tests within the last 60 days, and the courts have since ruled that she is now limited to just 8 hours total a week with her 3 kids. She will now get 4 hours a week with the 2 kids she shares with her ex-husband Tate Paul, and another 4 hours with her 2-year-old son Ever with Dakota. For the time being, the name of the alleged substances she tested positive for are unknown, with a source stating one of them is not readily available as a prescription medication. Even more sources close to Taylor—

What does that mean?

Like street drugs. Okay, right. I actually thought—

what's a street drug?

Like, start naming drugs. Like something that you can't get at a pharmacy.

Like, well, yeah, like heroin. Like, not saying she didn't—

like cocaine. That's— yeah, right, right. Even more sources close to Taylor spoke to TMZ, and they did not deny these new bombshell claims. Rather, they told the outlet they consider this leak continued harassment and intimidation due to the gag order. issued in the custody case.

I mean, like, at what point is like something your fault, you know? Like, right?

No, and also like perhaps this leak is intended to make her look bad because it obviously does.

But that doesn't change the fact that she failed the test, right?

Like, we have to just work with those set of facts as well.

And I actually feel sick about this, mostly as it pertains to Ever. The older kids like are older, and I feel that they actually have a pretty stable home life with their dad. and there's like some stability in their life. Like, yeah, they have this crazy mom, but like, you know, they have— your kids need routine.

And they have each other too.

Yeah. Ever, I feel, is just bounced between 2 crazy people. Like, Taylor losing custody is terrible, but like, is it better that he's with Dakota? Like, I, I don't know who's worse in this situation.

I just like have hope based on nothing, but just because it's like more palatable that he's spending a lot of time with like his grandma.

Her mom?

Yeah.

I thought the same because last season she was always picking up Ever from his grandma's house, and I was like, you know what, thank God for that.

Yeah. And I mean, this is really hard to comment on because on the one hand it's like, you're doing drugs, like, and you have children, like, you should not have custody of them. On the other hand, it's like, children need to be with their mother, but like, not if she's like, of course, this fucking basket case.

No, 100%.

But I'm sorry, like 4 hours a week with your children is nothing. Is nothing. Like, how do you— how do you get to a plan? Like, it's really hard because I don't want to sound like so judgmental.

Judgmental, I know.

But like, what are you doing?

Yeah, no, I don't think it's judgmental. I feel like she's been given a lot of rope. Like, we're always giving her the benefit of the doubt because it does feel like she's in this toxic cycle. But like, at what point, like, are you just like not being an active participant in your own life at the cost of your kids.

Yeah.

I feel that this is definitely what Mikayla was referring to when she said she was like learning things, because this isn't new information. It didn't happen yesterday, like it just broke yesterday.

Yeah.

Um, and I do agree, like that's not a show I want to be on.

Yeah.

Where we're doing drugs and losing custody of our kids.

And like, you know, you have to take drug tests tests in order for like your custody agreement, and like the power of doing drugs is like more powerful than spending more than 4 hours with your child.

No, it's so crazy. And if you watch her on social media, like reality and Taylor's version are not seeing eye to eye. Like she's living this healing journey, she has found Christ, and she is celibate, and she is this and she is that, and she's rebuilding and she's healing. And it's like, well, girl, everything we hear about you is counterpoints to that.

Yeah, no, and she spent the last few months, like ever since the video broke, like sort of posting. I follow her, but like I really scroll past because it's like not for me. But I got the gist that like she's reconnected with her faith, she's, you know, really healing and focusing and doing all this painful self-work to, to move forward. And the end result, we're gonna see it soon, and she's a butterfly and And the whole time you've been doing drugs? And you're doing drugs. And like, what could she— what could she say? It's definitely more than marijuana. But even still, if marijuana is gonna stand between you and your children, don't smoke marijuana.

Obviously.

Or like ketamine therapy, they all— they like to do that.

Well, if you have a prescription for something and it comes up in a drug test, I feel that that doesn't count.

Like I don't think—

you know what I mean?

I don't think that's what we're talking about.

No, this is not an oversight, like, oh, my drugs from my therapy came up. Like, that's not what happened.

Yeah.

I just like feel sick that Ever is with Dakota. Like, he's no better. And I do now feel even stronger, stronger. But is he also taking drug tests?

I think so. That would—

You know, I, I had felt that like their relationship definitely mimicked like, you know, user type of behavior, and that he was maybe like an enabler. or like a dealer. That was just like totally theory, like, like no proof. Um, but if he's also taking the drug tests and not failing them—

I, I don't know why I think he is, but I feel like the judge was like pretty harsh on both of them and wouldn't like make Taylor—

Oh my God, speaking of judges, I saw the most upsetting video.

Oh.

Of the judge in the Biermann case. She wants to let him out under the rules that he lives with his mother and no siblings are in the house. But it's like he was living with his mother this whole time.

But that's not fair to his siblings.

No, of course, but like, why is being under the same roof as your mom some sort of protective precaution? He's been living under the same roof as his mom the whole time.

Right, but also like, so your siblings get thrown out of the house because like you're a disgusting animal?

Yeah, I was shocked when I first heard you say that. I think the disgusting animal should be thrown out of the house. Should be— stay where you are.

Yeah.

I'm shocked.

That's really weird.

It was very bizarre. Like a repeat offender.

Yeah.

That's like sort of like the exact case where they don't let you out. Like if your background matches up with your crime, like I feel like they keep you in there. But if you're otherwise like an upstanding citizen and you might be innocent or whatever, like they'll let you go home maybe with like an ankle monitor.

Yeah. No, that's weird.

It was really, really weird.

Are you ready for our next story?

Fourth. If it's our next story that's brought to you by Little Spoon.

Mm-hmm.

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Our next story, some tea was spilled. I think it was last night on Get Real, the, um, Hulu show—

Podcast.

Podcast with, um, Amanda Hirsch. So she had on Sophia Franklin and Taylor Strecker, and Sophia Franklin shared an interesting anecdote. Did you see this?

I have no idea what you're talking about.

Okay, so Amanda asked her, so apparently Sophia told this story that like her maid of honor posted her speech from Sophia's wedding.

Are you talking about the Alex Cooper comment?

Yeah.

Yeah, okay. I saw this clip on TikTok of, um, Sophia sharing this on her podcast.

Okay, her maid of honor posted her maid of honor speech at Sophia's wedding, and the maid of honor said she got like a notification that Alex Cooper commented, and then when she went to go see the comment, it wasn't there. So what they were talking about it on the show last night, and Sophia suggested that actually Alex was probably trying to comment something like from her fake account and realized like it was her own account.

Oh.

Meanwhile, Amanda was like, maybe she wanted to leave a heart, but why would she want to leave a heart and then delete the heart?

Oh my God. Okay, so accusing someone of running a fake account is actually a huge allegation because like genuinely only crazy people do that.

So we have to like really think about the options here.

No, not only that, this at one point was a person who knew Alex Cooper very well. Like maybe they used to do this where they would like make accounts. So like maybe she knows something we don't know. I think like how I would naively sort of explain this is that like, I mean, Alex Cooper is a high-profile TikToker and like a lot of videos go viral and like you leave comments. I'm always like leaving comments on stuff like no one's— nobody even sees me and I'm like, LOL, this is so funny. So maybe she thought it was like funny and sweet or whatever. and then very quickly realized like who— whose wedding she was making. Like, it wasn't just like a random viral video.

Okay, is it— is the video viral? The maid of honor speech?

I have no idea.

That's a really good thought.

You think?

That's a good thought, but I have to like know more.

Let's see the video.

And also, who was the maid of honor? Is it someone who like Alex would know is Sofia's best friend?

Right.

Or sister?

Oh, I see this clip. Um, I also just like that Sofia Franklin's at a place where she feels comfortable like talking about this. I think it's like years in the making.

Yeah.

Um, and it's probably easier to like talk about your biggest opp now that like so much of the internet feels that your side was like, you know, underrepresented and, and your story never got told. So it's easier when you feel like people have your back and you're not just like saying stuff. Because it used to be if she ever said anything about it— she said something on The Toast, she was like about Alex Cooper, she said that bitch owes me $30 million. Like she said that, and back then the sentiment was like very anti-Sofia. So So she would get like a lot of hate for that. It must be a little bit more empowering now that you know people are gonna support you when you say it.

Yeah. So what's the deal with the video?

I can't find it.

The maid of honor video?

Oh, here. As promised, my speech from Sofia Franklin wedding. Jackie, it has 10 likes.

Okay, and she said Sofia Franklin wedding. She said Sofia Franklin.

She tagged @SofiaFranklin, @SofiaFPodcast.

Okay, so I think it's clear. And who's the girl whose speech it is?

Her name is Alex Franco, and she actually looks so familiar. Yeah, no, you—

Yes, that's who I think.

I think it's her cousin.

She's, she's been with Sofia since day one.

Forever.

Alex Cooper knows who that is, so I don't think it was like accidentally commenting on a viral video.

Okay, also I want to say something that TikTok does. I know what happened.

Okay.

It's actually so fucking annoying. I find myself always accidentally leaving emoji comments and reposting because I like to hold my finger down on the side of a video to play it in 2x speed because like I just don't have the, the bandwidth. And these days, if you put your thumb down in the wrong place, like I'm gonna do it right now. So Alex Franco, if you get a notification, it's me, okay? If you put your thumb down in the wrong place, yeah, it reposts and hearts it. Oh my God, I just reposted and hearted it. I need to un-repost.

Okay, but what about a comment?

Okay, so also if you put your thumb down near the comment, it puts an emoji. I just put a laughing emoji. Oh God, I think that's what happened. I'm deleting it.

I agree with you. I think that's what happened.

Um, it's actually— and I've been meaning to bring it up— undo that feature. It's fucking annoying.

Yeah, that's really crazy. That happens to me sometimes.

You need to hold your thumb down on the top right.

When I'm scrolling through Instagram stories, sometimes like if I press the wrong thing, it like wants to send a reaction emoji to someone. Most of the time I can stop it in time, but like once in a while it just shoots off.

So now the bottom right of the screen, if you put your thumb near the comment or the like button instead of like above it, it, it will comment, like, or even repost. I think that's what happened.

Yeah, for sure.

Mystery solved.

Because it definitely wasn't a heart, because she wouldn't have deleted that if she wrote it in the first place.

Yeah.

And the fake account, while compelling—

And I would like, like for that to be the case because that's more interesting than just like a simple, you know, social media mishap. And also, Alex Cooper's pregnant. She's just laying around all day on TikTok.

Yeah, it's just like watching things. Oh, my ex-best friend's maid of honor speech. I'm sad.

I would watch that. I'm sad.

Are they gonna mention me?

Definitely. Definitely. The book comes out like kind of soon.

November?

Month or two, yeah.

It's not soon.

No, it's not.

There's a lot to do before then.

She has to give birth.

Yeah, but I think she's a few weeks, like it's not any day. She was, I was watching her stories. I think she said a few more weeks.

Well, I was wondering if she was going to be at the wedding. I meant to bring that up, um, when I recapped on Monday because this, uh, wedding that I went to on Sunday night, the bride famously worked with both Alex Earle and Alex Cooper and was kind of there for the whole drama. And I had a sneaking suspicion that perhaps Alex Cooper had a falling out with her when she wasn't at Alex Cooper's wedding, which was like small but like not tiny and They were really close. So I have had a feeling that they weren't like on good terms since then and they haven't worked together in a while. She wasn't at the wedding. Now, of course, being 30, I don't know how many weeks she is, but in her third trimester, you're not flying across the country.

No, you're not.

Unless it's like a sister's wedding.

You're not flying across the country. However, like if a close friend of yours gets married and you really can't be there, unfortunately, like you do post like most beautiful bride, like wish I could be there.

1,000%.

You know what I mean? And also to let everyone else know, hey, I was supposed to be in the music video. You know?

Right, right, right.

Because it was like very star-studded and like if you should have been there, that's exactly what you would do.

Trust and believe, if I couldn't have made that wedding, I would have been posting like, I can't believe I missed like the most amazing bride.

Most beautiful bride.

Just 'cause like obviously we care about the bride and the groom, but like it was also like a social thing.

And you needed to let everyone know that you were invited.

Correct.

So I think that's what would have happened. So I would agree that there's potentially—

Bad blood.

Bad blood. Agreed. Are you ready for our 5th and final story? Dancing with the Stars recap night.

As predicted, the females were like the stars.

Um, yeah, the females are more interesting. They're the stars. It was gorgeous. I enjoyed my night, but there was like a lot of bad dancing.

Oh no, of course, but I found this episode much more interesting, and it really made me realize that like— because if you would have told me that I would have ended up voting for Tatiana and Giada. Giada. I would've been like, what? There are so many different ways to dazzle me. And I feel like maybe at one point I used to like roll my eyes at the packages, but I found myself like falling in love with people who I never even considered because of like what they showed me in their package. And I actually feel like, spoiler alert, part of the reason why Sarah Jayne Nader went home, 'cause she was not the worst dancer by any means. Um, she wasn't the best, but she was at the bottom for sure. But like she gave us nothing, like no like real raw, And like, I felt that like Giada was so emotional and like I could understand why she did this like at this point in her life because it is kind of random. Why would she? I just feel like Sarah Jane like just kind of gave us like some, like some stuff. Like she didn't give us anything.

No, it was like very surface. And then I think she thought that by dancing like with a woman that would like differentiate her enough and keep her around. Um, and even when she explained why, she's like, because I never saw that growing up. Like, I, I don't know, it just, it wasn't It wasn't giving like the heart sound. It wasn't compelling. Yes.

Exactly.

No, the packages are everything to me.

Yes.

And that's why the show is so interesting, 'cause it's like, it's— and some people, it's annoying when people are like, this isn't like Pity with the Stars, like stop voting for Annie Richter, like he's not the best dancer. But it's like, if it was always just the best dancer, then like, yes, Harry Shum Jr. will win, Jenna Dewan will win, then it's just Dancing with the Stars who have a background in dance.

And you can only win— Agreed, I'm here for the emotional journey.

You can only win Dancing with the Stars if you are truly the best dancer who has a background in dance. much more than that. It's, it's multifaceted. You have to be on a journey. You have to open up, relate to the audience, improve as well. But of course, not just about technical dance.

I completely agree. That's why I think it's important that they do a combination of the judges' scores and the online votes.

I actually think the way they're running it is kind of amazing, except for what happened to Whitney Lovett.

Oh, of course, because they— like, the fandom gets crazy.

Yeah, and they really voted her off when she didn't deserve to go Let's go through the performances in the order in which they happened.

First up was Tatiana, who I voted for 10 times.

I voted for her 10 times. I actually stepped out of my usual, like, protest of the voting system to make sure that she got every vote because she was not going home last night on my watch. She was not gonna be the first person sent home. She was not going home on her son's birthday in front of her kids on my watch.

And I felt oddly protective of her because I just don't feel that she has, like, a crazy cult following, um, who's gonna, like, stand up and vote for her. So when she said that, like, she felt nervous— like, the minute I fell in love with her, she was like, I don't know, like, I have my kids. Like, I'm just getting back into this for the first time. I feel like my kids are grown enough where I can leave them for a period of time. And I was like, oh, queen with a mom belly. Tatiana, Tatiana, Tatiana, Tatiana.

And her performance started out like pretty rough.

Yeah, she missed like a whole section.

So that was also like hard, but then she really picked it up. She like had fun, she had energy, and I was just like, you're not going home tonight. You cannot go home tonight. I will sink into a depression.

Agreed 100%. Like, I felt protective of her. I also think that Yan is like really coming into himself because we were very critical of him last season. on his first season with Jen Affleck. And it was fair that she was paired with a new— um, it wasn't fair that she was paired with a new pro being postpartum, but I feel that he's like very much immersed in like the Dancing with the Stars family now. He choreographs a lot, and I think he's doing a great job. I'm watching a lot of interviews with them. I think they really, really like each other and they have a good friendship, which is always a good basis for like a good relationship.

Yeah, but it is crazy that the 2 eliminations were the 2 new pros. It just really goes to show you what at one disadvantage you're at.

It's true, except that I feel like— I think there were a lot of legitimate reasons from like the dance community as to why like Adella failed Connor. I don't feel like Haley failed. I actually thought their dance was good. Ben was loving it, skater boy. Like the outfits, like I actually think she choreographed a good dance. But Sarah's like lack of skill combined with like giving us nothing in a personal emotional sense, I blame more Sarah than I do Connor.

Yeah, I would say lack of skill lack of emotion. Emotion and lack of fans. I don't think she has that many voting fans.

That's, that's the other thing, because people have criticized this season's casting for not having enough stars, and they point to Sarah Jane and Connor, even though I don't really feel like that's fair.

Connor said he has.

No, Connor Levitt saying nepo husband, nepo husband, like that doesn't make you a star. Um, I feel that he actually has a lot of fans. I think that, yeah, an undiscussed element is Sarah Jay Nader not being technically famous enough for the show. So she's just at a disadvantage.

Yeah, I would agree with that.

But I think Connor was famous enough.

Um, I think there's a lot of like not super famous people on the show.

Variation.

Like, I could go through all this and tell you, I didn't know who Tatiana Ali was, like, by her name.

I didn't know who Ezra was.

I didn't know who Ezra was. I didn't really watch the Women's Olympics, so I didn't know Amber Glenn. But people do. I know Fresh Prince, but like I wouldn't have—

she's not super well known, and I wouldn't have thought that she would be my number 1.

Yeah, like there's a bunch of people on the male side who I barely know. Like, I think it's a lot of like semi-stars, so I don't think that's fair to like say about the two of them. Yeah, you know. Um, next we have Olympian Amber Glenn with Pasha Pashkov. She's a figure skater, so of course she was at an advantage, and, um, they did a great performance.

Yeah, they did. I Again, like, I didn't feel a lot because I think her package wasn't like terribly inspiring, or like, it kind of gave me nothing to connect with her on. But she was dancing good, and that's important.

Yeah, yeah, she did good. No, I had no strong feelings one way or the other.

Right, exactly.

Next we had Sierra Miller with Brandon Armstrong.

Sierra really surprised me.

Yeah.

Um, I feel like— and I actually think they're doing this this season, which I appreciate— is that they're not judging everyone equally, and they shouldn't be. Because if you are young and fit and able-bodied, that is very different than someone who's, you know, like Guillermo, who admittedly like is here to lose weight. Like, they're just— so I feel like based on her—

Stats.

Criteria, she underperformed.

Yeah.

Now, was she the worst dancer? No. But based on the fact that she's like a person who is young, who is fit, um, I was surprised at how stiff she was. Now, I think people underestimate how how scary it is to actually do the dance. You could actually slay in the rehearsal room and go and do the worst job ever, especially the first time.

Your nerves are showing. You're just—

Especially the first time. So I give her grace, but I do feel like the judges, and also just like my thoughts on her in general, are a little bit harder, harsher, because she is this like, you know, she probably works out before this a couple times a week. Like, a lot of people have to immerse themselves in just being active Every single day. Like, it's a huge change for them. So I feel like she gets judged on a curve almost because she is. Same with Maura.

Yeah, no, but like, given her, it was like not as good as I thought it was gonna be.

Agreed. And I think her package, maybe it was important because this is ABC. I don't think there's like a huge history of people from Bravo being on this show. They might not know like the whole Wes Wilson, so it was like a little repetitive to me.

Yeah, it was crazy that we went there. They're like talking about Amanda Bhatula on Dancing with the Stars. But like, yeah, that is like a big part of her year, gonna be a big part of her journey. She's still clearly very like emotional about it, which is surprising.

Yeah, I also think maybe like she leaned in a little bit to being emotional just because like you want a sort of connection point with people and people can relate to that. I just feel like I've been on this journey for so long and like she's so much better off without these 2 losers. Their lives are like literally effectively over publicly. You're a queen, you're on Love Island. So I'm like, I don't see her as a victim, I don't. But I think they needed to sort of tell that story for people to get to know her, which I understood, but to me it just felt repetitive and kind of outdated. I'm like, but she's hosting Love Island now.

Yeah, no, it's sort of the best thing that could have happened to her.

Ever, Ariana Madix.

And you get to quit this terrible guy, just like Ariana and Tom, and you see who your friend really is. But it's been really hard for her, and so that was surprising, and I think Dancing with the Stars means a lot to her. She had put out a statement before, and she has said, she hasn't really talked about it and shared it, shared how she's feeling and like through this journey she will.

Yeah, I think she has a lot of potential. I loved what she was wearing. I think, um, I think she'll get better. And I— you have to give so much grace on night one. I imagine it's so scary.

As long as you don't get eliminated, it's good to like start from a place where it can only go up.

And because you want to see growth. And that's why people feel it's really unfair that they did eliminations week one because it's such like a baptism by fire. Um, but I kind of like it. Like, let's get started.

I, I— yeah, I agree. I'm two minds, but we could have just eliminated 4 people next week and like then everyone gets to dance twice, but I guess not.

Yeah, I guess not.

Next we have Giada De Laurentiis and Alan Burstyn.

Again, not someone I was even— I actually texted you when we started watching and I was like, I— my predictions are that I think maybe Giada could go home because I can't see her doing so well, and I don't really think she has like a horde of online people texting to vote 10 times. But let me tell you, she won me the fuck over with her package. Like, and not even so much her package, Her, uh, Julianne Hough interview where she was just so overcome with pride. She reminded me of Elaine Hendrix last season, just being like an older woman being like, I did it. Like just that sense of accomplishment.

And that's who Alan had last season too. So he's the right guy for her.

She did good. She was cracking me up like with the leg and the whisking. Like it was funny.

Yeah. And Elaine did amazing too. And I thought her, her dance like looked really good. A lot of the dances, I don't— scores, not scores. Like some of them just looked really bad.

Visually.

They were just like, Like, it was a little bit painful. That's why even at the end, I know Derek Hough is like a crazy person and you were probably dying from his like big—

I was dying at his solo performance.

Solo performance. But it was nice to see like what ballroom looks like. Oh, of course. At its best, because we watched a lot of bad dancing the last 2 days.

Yes, I think that the women performed worse than the men, but I also, like I said yesterday, I think it's easier for a man to get away with looking fine.

Yeah, because like you just have girls dancing around them. So shout out to Derek Hough, like, for reminding us, like, what this could be.

I also think last night I really was feeling, like, how important your partner is, because I think that Alan is a great partner. Yeah, no, he really made her— and obviously Mark.

I'm also gonna skip to— I'm just gonna skip to Maura and Mark to talk about the importance of partnership, because, like, Maura did amazing. Um, I think she surprised everyone. I don't know why we all assumed she'd be, like, an awkward dancer.

She—

because she said herself, Like she's not very physical or backstage.

She said like, I can't— she's listening to music and she's like, I can't find the beat. And that's what we're always saying, like if you have no rhythm, you are at such a disadvantage.

Was that Maura? I thought that was Giada.

I think that was Maura.

No, I didn't think it was.

You know, I texted you. I was like, oh no, she can't find the beat. Hold on, let me find it. Because I think that Mark Ballas gets a lot of shit for like having easy partners, like obviously Whitney, And so Charlie D'Amelio, yeah, I think he probably has had a lot of easy partners. And I think people assumed Maura, who's again like a Sierra Miller, young, fit. I think people thought like he got a layup. But watching her, I was like, oh, she stinks. Like, she's gonna be so bad. And I think that her performance, which was brilliant, was a testament to, to her partner.

I think it was really a mix of both. I think she's a much better dancer than anyone would have thought. But I also think—

It was Giada. She said she has no rhythm.

Okay, so I think Maura just like naturally is a better dancer than people thought. And also Mark choreographed her in a way that enhanced all of her positives. And like, just—

Jackie, she had a better score than Jenna Dewan.

She deserved it. She was amazing. And also like Jenna Dewan, yeah, if we're graded on a curve, like, you're— you should be getting 10s, like, because you're a professional dancer.

We're not graded on a curve.

Yeah, I just want to say you're a professional dancer. But like, Maura, I mean, maybe I think she's just like the type who wants people to underestimate her. But like, we even saw her on Traders, like she couldn't even like run. Like she was saying, I know, her back hurts.

Uncoordinated.

She's not very physical. She seems uncoordinated and that she would be like sort of like awkward.

Lanky.

Yeah, like kind of what we thought Alex Earle was gonna be.

Yes.

And then Tyler Cameron. And then she wasn't. And Maura wasn't. But also Mark made it the best it could have possibly been. So like, yes, Your part— like, if Mark had been with Sarah Jay Nader, she would not have gone home last night.

1,000%.

Yeah.

No, Maura was so surprising to me. She was so elegant. And a lot of the people— and I think this comes over time— their faces are like so focused, they look like they're pooping. Like, she was smiling and like really, she aced it.

Yeah. Then Julia Stiles with Ezra Sosa.

Oh, I just about died at Andy Cohen's call-out. Did you see Andy's response?

No.

So it's funny because I was wondering if he was gonna respond. Watch What Happens Live is almost like never filmed live these days, but it was last night. And so he made himself the jackhole and he apologized and he says, I'm no one to talk about dancing. And then they played this hilarious video that somebody had taken like a couple of years ago of Andy dancing at a Grateful Dead concert. And like legitimately, like you've never seen somebody dancing worse in your whole life. It was hysterical. It was very self-deprecating. He apologized. He was like, I'm an idiot. It was honestly an amazing way to handle it because he made me laugh and I was like, you know what, whatever. But it's funny what sticks with you.

It is funny. She did great. She will really be like one to watch because she has a good story. She's another one like Giada who's like, this isn't super easy for her right now, um, but she's working hard.

She did great. And she also has a great partner.

Yeah, yeah, very good.

You could tell when like the partner's like excited about who they got. And I think Ezra's in heaven.

Yeah, no, that's really fun for them. And then Sarah Jayne Nader with Hailie Bills dancing to Sk8er Boi are same-sex queens.

Yeah, I felt that during the final 3 elimination, it wasn't even a question that Sarah Jayne Nader was going home. Whereas with Connor Levitt, I forget who else was in the— it was Connor W. and someone else. I was like, I feel like maybe it could be one of the other. With Sarah Jayne, I was like, it's not gonna be Tatiana, and it wasn't gonna be, uh, who was the other one? Giada.

Oh yeah, yeah, I agree. It was really between Sarah-Jane and Tatiana for going home last night.

Yes, and I think it was clear after they danced that it was gonna be Sarah because I just felt nothing.

Yeah.

Oh, we didn't talk about Jenna Dewan, that she was the final performance.

Jenna Dewan with Val.

Um, I was— I feel exactly about her how I felt about Harry Shum Jr. I was bored. Like, it was good, obviously. Like, technically it was probably the strongest dance, but I was just bored by the whole thing.

Yeah, it wasn't like—

It looked like the troupe.

Like, you know, the troupe, they're so cute. We got like a lot—

They are.

We got a troupe content, extra dance content last night, which was good. Like, all the stars dance, all the pros dancing. Derek, were you okay? I meant to check in.

No, no. Why do like Julianne and Derek get their own like solo performances? Because they're like the king and queen of Dancing with the Stars.

Yeah, but I also feel like throughout the season other people will get— well, also the pros are working with their—

they're busy.

The pros are busy. And then no, Carrie Ann is not going to do a solo performance, and neither is Bruno.

Bruno? Yeah, I don't know, I just—

but I feel like if somebody wants a solo performance, they could have one. But I think it's really only Julianne and Derek raising their hands.

I think as people get eliminated, um, and the pros free up, then we'll get some other solo performances. But like, it was just giving like their Sweet 16, you know?

Yeah, but they did a performance. They're amazing dancers, of course.

So I was just cracking up, like, Rosa, it was— I mean, it was obviously no Paris Baguette, but it was something.

That's so funny. I, I would say Derek's performance made a bigger impression on me than Paris Baguette, but I know—

oh no. No, no, no, no. I'm— I am the woman I am today because of what I saw.

And I think like the best call ever made was that Derek Hough is to Dancing with the Stars what Robert Herjavec is to Shark Tank for you.

Did you— you made that call?

Last season.

Okay, that's interesting. And explain yourself.

They're just like the same energy of like, they're totally nice.

Hey, look at me.

They're totally nice guys who like are—

No, they're not.

And you just hate both of them. You think like they're They're both hacks. They're both ugly, stupid, and annoying.

I know. By the way, I just wanna say, I do think Robert Herjavec is a hack. I think he was like the least eligible Shark. Like he was lucky to be there.

Yeah.

I think he gives bad business advice. Like actually, I don't think Derek Huck is a hack. Huck? Huff is a hack. Like I think he's like the most successful, like talented performer. I have a deep-rooted issue like with him and his sister's like vibes. Just like, I can't explain it, but it's a good comparison, but it's not a perfect one.

Nothing is perfect.

No, no, except the Toast, which is now on day 4 of doing 90-minute episodes. We just sort of can't stop gabbing.

We can't, but I do have to call it.

That's okay, we're done.

We're done.

You're done. Thank you guys so much for listening to the Toast on Monday Morning Show. We deliver the fastest stories you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube. So if you're watching us on YouTube, please feel free to subscribe, give this video a thumbs up. We're also available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and YouTube. listen to podcasts, find us, The Toasty Fuzz. You guys have an amazing day, and we'll see you tomorrow.

Love ya.

Bye.