Transcript of Some Good Grift: Tuesday, February 24th, 2026

Good morning, girlies. It's The Toast. It's Jackson Claude, and we're your hosts. It's your favorite show, the fast five things you need to know. We'll start your day off swirly, It's The Toast.

They sound amazing.

Welcome back to The Toast, and happy... Tuesday?

Of course. You just It's Deer Toaster's today.

It's Deer Toaster's today. So apologies to the DTQ for, you know. Almost slipping. For not having my finger on the trigger. I'm having a stroke. That's okay. You know what's so funny is actually Ben thought he had a concussion last night. He was keeping me up all night about how he needs to stay awake.

Why did he think that?

Because he hit his head pretty hard. Not to laugh. It was just such annoying time because it was right before bed, and we should have waited.

That's always the worst time to hit your head.

Chat said 2 hours, and I'm like, That would mean we're going to bed at midnight. That's just not going to work for me. And it was so inconvenient. And I was like, You should stay up. How did he hit his head? He's just tall and hit his head on a thing on the ceiling. I don't know. I wasn't even paying attention.

I don't know where he was.

He came into the bedroom and was like, I hit my head, and I Because he wasn't listening.

Like a toddler.

Yeah. And I was like, Well, I'm sorry, but I need to go to sleep. Good luck staying up for 2 hours. And you also shouldn't be on your phone or watch TV. So I don't know what you're supposed to do. Just lay in the dark for 2 hours.

But not fall asleep.

But not fall asleep. And he woke up this morning. So we're good.

Okay. It doesn't mean that he's not concussed.

But is that dead? That's really what I care about because that would be so terrible.

Rets of concussion are always looming. You know what I mean?

Well, actually, Ben's sister just got a concussion, and it's been very damaging for the community. Really? Yeah. She's like, I have a two week long headache. She went to the doctor. She hit her head in the middle of the day.

How did she hit her head? You got to get the details. I feel like she told me. We need to know what we need to be looking out for.

Oh, actually, she did tell me. I would think so. She was on an airplane and she got up fast and hit her head on the thing. Oh, my God. And I said, not to be a fear monger, but that's how Billy Mays died. Billy Mays from the OxyClean commercial, suitcase, fell out of the thing, hit him right on the head. He went home, went to sleep, never woke up. A lot of people don't know that story.

Oh, my God. I can't believe she actually got a concussion.

So yes, she went to City Md or whatever, and they were like, No, you legit have a concussion. So she was like, She can't work out. She couldn't do all these things. She was trying to stay off her phone. She had a weeks long headache, Maddie. Wow. So concussion was on our mind because this is something like Ben's sister's actively been going through.

Oh, it's Munchausen. He has a case of Munchausen.

Concussion by proxy. Munchausen. Speaking of Munchausen, do we have this story about Lisa Rinna?

Yes, of course. Any excuse to talk about traitors on the off days. It's so true.

All set to say, Ben's fine. I forgot how we got here. Oh, because I was talking at the beginning of the episode.

As if you had a concussion, maybe you also have Munchausen.

Because then Ben was in bed being like, Chat said, if I'm feeling dizzy or slurring my words. I'm like, Well, you're fine. He's like, Yeah, but I feel like I might have a concussion. He was like, I said more.

It was the first time that you didn't call him out for saying a word funny because you're like, Go to sleep.

Jackie, I was so half asleep. Go to sleep. The inconvenient concussion, the timing was just not...

Well, so is he out of the woods?

I mean, he woke up. He might still have a concussion, but like, okay, so you have a concussion? Yeah. Okay. I remember in high school, this girl in my grade, shout out, she was a queen, Tiana She had a concussion and it got her out of gym class. I just remember being like... And she obviously played it up because who doesn't want to get out of gym class? She would sit on the steps and just being like... And it was the biggest deal, this concussion that she had. It affected me. Look, I'm still talking about it 10 years later. It affected me. Look, I'm still talking about it 10 years later. I never had a concussion. I just felt like it was a slay to have one.

Oh, and so you feel like you missed out.

Yeah, and she didn't have to do a lot of things besides gym class because you couldn't look at computer screens and she got time off from her homework. She didn't learn. Yeah. She just had to lay in bed all day. Right. Yeah.

Well, shout out, Diana. I hope you're feeling better. Shout out, Diana. I hope you're doing well. I hope it got better. It gets better, Diana. My dream Diana felt. The way she saw it, like left out of everything. Can't play sports with her friend. Everyone's talking about her concussion. They're going to talk about it on a podcast in 20 years.

Ten years later. Don't you feel like Tell Me Lies has changed how you see the name Diana?

Oh, for sure.

I feel like it's a strong, powerful name.

The minute you said Diana, I said, That's my queen right there. What did my queen do?

I don't know what I thought of the name Diana before, but now I think of it as an extremely assertive queen-like name.

Well, it is a princess-like name, Princess Diana. Oh, so funny.

I never even put it together.

Me neither. Honestly, we have this generation's Diana is Diana. Alicia Crowder. Does she have a last name?

Diana. Queens. Wait.

Diana, that's my queen right there.

Diana, not falling for Steven's bullshit. Yeah. I don't know her last name, but it almost doesn't matter.

No, but everybody else had last name.

She's like Princess Diana. Excuse me. She's like Madonna. Just Diana. Diana greater than Madonna.

Well, yeah, for some people.

We have a great show today. It's Toosters, which means the DTQ is being fed, and we're answering the age-old question in today's Dear Toaster.

Is your husband gay? Correct. Another one?

Another one. And this one, I don't feel like we have to jump through a lot of hoops.

Okay. I can't wait to hear. You must be excited. I am. Chosen myself. I feel like for For you, he will be gay.

I think for you as well. But I don't want to sway anyone.

For me, it could be, but for you, confirmed. Because for you, it's like if you're asking the question, it's a yes. I don't know.

I like to have gay suspicions when no one is suspecting. But when it's so obvious, straight. You know?

Yeah. Because it's like you would just be gay. Right. No, you would just be gay.

Yeah.

If you're already seemingly so. Right.

Except, except, you know my best friend, Abe. So when we were in high school, people were mean. He loves to sing, and he's my best friend. So we have similar interests. He loves theater. He used to sing a lot, and he just has girly interests. And everyone was like, he was gay. And he took those rumors so fucking head-on. He was like, Okay, you think I'm gay? Whatever I like to say. He slayed the house down with those rumors to the point where I was like, He's literally not gay. What are you guys talking about? Cut to 10 years later, he came out as gay. But the way he addressed in those rumors in such a, I want to say, straight way, it was a slay. He really threw me off.

Yeah.

So you never know. It's not a perfect rule.

I think that your experience with that has colored your experience in dear coasters.

Yes, it has. And then I actually, I talk to Abe about it all the time, and he was like, no, because literally someone, he remembers, he has a core memory of someone in his middle school being like, if you protest, thou doth, in middle school, they weren't saying that, But thou doth protest too much. That makes you gay. He said there was a girl in his middle school who said, If you look at your nails, if you have something that you need to see on your hands, and you look at your nails like this, you're straight. But if you look at them like this, you're gay.

Oh, I would think it's the opposite.

Okay, maybe I'm messing.

Okay, because like this- What's more...

No, this is all right. This is more gay. Those are girly. When you check your... Yeah. Checking your nails is a girly thing.

If you check your nails when someone says it.

Right. But she was straight, gay. So he obviously has a lot of trauma from that conversation. But he's healing. We're all healing together.

Yeah. And to our tosters, we're healing the community.

We are healing the community one submission at a time. So let this be your sign. We've got a lot of Valentine's Day because we're just coming off Valentine's Day drama.

Oh, yeah. Did you have any Valentine's Day drama? Any game tunes drama? How did you celebrate the big day?

I went through Ben's phone very accidentally, a week or two before, and I saw that he was making plans to get me a purse, a really nice purse. And I'm very much in a money saving era right now. Some months, I feel really like we should be indulging, treat yourself. But I've just been tightening the purse strings a little bit. And so I told Ben, I didn't mean. I wasn't snooping. I actually really wasn't. He was, and he asked me while he was driving to text his friend something for him, and I was like, Yeah, sure. And he saw he was texting with the sales associate. So I was like, I don't know if you were planning on doing this for Valentine's Day, but please don't. I have everything I could possibly want. We have a beautiful life. Knock wood. I don't need anything right I will let you know when I do. It's Valentine's Day. It's not like my birthday or something. So I said, Don't.

And he didn't. You don't have to do the big one on Valentine's Day.

Yeah. No, I think it worked out with the sales associate, and it was just... It wasn't the right time. I don't need a purse right now.

Okay. So that was your drama.

Big drama. What was yours?

No drama on Valentine's Day. As I've shared, that week is just a week of love in my house.

Thursday's anniversary.

Oh, I guess the drama was I got flowers whenever I was at my house. Okay.

And Oh, did I not tell you? What? Okay, so Jackie got flowers. We spent all Valentine's Day at Jackie's house. So Jackie got flowers, and they were so beautiful. And I was like, Wait, where the fuck are my flowers? They were there when I got home.

Oh, why was he acting like he didn't get you?

Well, I guess he didn't want to ruin the surprise. And I was like, I was like, so mad. I'm like, You literally couldn't even get me flowers. I told you not to get me. Why is it Birkin or nothing? And I'm like, not even fucking flowers? I'm like, This is disgusting. Like, literally got home the biggest flowers ever. And I was like, I I apologize deeply.

That's on me. I actually had another Little Valentine's drama.

Oh my God, what?

It was so funny. I meant to send you a picture, but Zack was really upset about it. What? Because they sent the beautiful bouquet. He was like, he knew the card, and all day, he was like, did you read the card yet? And I'm like, no, I want to wait. Until everyone leaves. Yeah, until I can just focus on the card and be in Valentine. So I opened the card and it said- Did it give you someone else's card? It said, send a verbal text message. Like to the...

You're fucking lying.

He was so mad because I think he wrote his big card.

Something very sweet.

Like he said, I'll text it, and then he texted. Then send a real text message.

I feel so bad. So did he call the place or just let it go?

I don't remember what he wound up doing, but he wound up just sharing the message with me. Verbally. So that was the drama. That actually was very dramatic. Honestly, I was laughing so hard.

It was better than any card.

It cracked me up.

That's hilarious.

Plus, it was like my game tunes because all day it was like, are you going to read the card? Sender will text message.

That's so beautiful. Yeah. Sender will text message. Happy game tunes day.

Love that. Find you a love like that.

Yeah, big time. That is so sweet. Honestly, your husband really does have a beautiful way with words, so I'm not surprised to hear that he wrote such a beautiful card.

Yeah. My husband and I are actually doing something really fun today. I think we're going to take everyone along. We're going on a field trip. Oh, yeah. Jackie is vlogging. We're We're going on a field trip. Is what I'm calling it. Let's go. We did a Lunch and Learn last week.

Which people were obsessed with.

We got lunch. We learned. We sat in the car. We ate.

We went to a viral spot that Bethany Frankl told us to go eat at. So we got like, coffee, I drink matcha. And then we just ate in Jackie's car and talked about all things life. Kind of got deep there.

We did. I think a tear was shed. Almost. Like an eye was moist. Watery? I don't think so. Moicen.

I mean, my eyes are always moicened.

Your eyes do have a- Well up. Have a... A glisten? A glisten. Do my eyes have... Maybe it's the lights. Do my eyes have a glisten?

It is the reflection of the key lights here, but yes, you do.

I glisten as well.

You glisten. You glimmering glisten.

That's so beautiful.

What else can I tell you?

We're matching. Not at all. No, we have the same color, like browny, like a light brown.

What color are your pants?

Creamy, white. But the color of your stripes is the color of your-We have the same palette? Yeah. Sure. So it was just an Espresso moment for the girls.

That's that me Espresso.

Oh, we also in my car, we did karaoke.

Do you know the Jackie's car? The Tesla has the big iPad that you can do karaoke on it, where they literally play karaoke and show you the words.

It was really fun.

We did Espresso.

We did- Grace Abrams. Grace Abrams.

Yeah, we're very hip like that.

Yes, very young, very cool, very fresh.

Very cool, very fresh.

So anyways, it's an Espresso moment here. I would say.

It's Tuesday. So there was no TV on last night.

I watched another episode of Love Story.

And what happened?

Jackie, Jacks, Rip.

Rip Jacks, yeah.

It's really surprising how they're really drawing out the- The courtship. No, that, but also Jackie's death. It must have been this water moment in his life, but the funeral, the coffin, I thought she died at the end of last episode when she fell on the floor.

So did I. Yeah, the show is slow moving, too.

Yeah, and maybe they just want us to feel the way that he felt, having to take care of his sick mother, having to arrange the funeral.

And the right place, right time for Carolyn. He did a lot of girls, but he was ready because his mother died, and he's the next generation, and that's why he was ready to do it. I don't know.

But it's a shame that she never met her. I know.

I don't know if I ever knew that.

That's really sad. So that's what last episode was. And it was nice. I'm still enjoying, and I'm ready to get the show on the road. The love story that we're titling it, where's the love story?

So I will say that the love story, it appears like it officially begins. Begins next episode because like...

Even yours, it doesn't begin.

No, they are secretly seeing one another. But then it's on the cover of the post at the very end of this episode. Got it. Okay. And Calvin Klein is gay.

Yeah. So that's why they're alludinging... He is with his wife, Kelly, but they're still saying stuff about him hitting on people.

Yeah, and I guess an undertone of the show that completely went over my head is that he's going to become very jealous of Caroline because he's also into JFK. That should be me.

Oh, I could I see him becoming jealous of Caroline because she's so successful. But in the beginning, it seems like he's having the right reaction, which is like, This is great for me. Lifting her up. And Caroline dating Jeff K would also be great for Calvin Klein. But if he has a crush on him, are you sure?

That's just what I saw people saying, and I was like, Oh, I didn't think that. I also think maybe that's homophobic.

I agree 100%. That feels homophobic. I agree. I agree 100%. He can't just see a man.

You can't just hate a woman for any other reason. Yeah.

Homophobic. Check yourself.

I agree. That actually is giving homophobia. I I guess.

Let's dive in. What are the stories? You know what? They're actually good. I'm excited. They're like, R. B. G.

Random but good.

Without further ado to do it is time for the R. B. G. Stories that you need to know.

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Thank you, Tert.

You're welcome.

Our first story is a fun story. Season 22 cast of The Bachelorette has dropped. Taylor Franky Paul's men are on display. So all... How many does she have? 22 men competing for Season 22 for Taylor Franky Paul's Heart. So we have a nice mix of guys.

Having PTSD. I haven't watched a bad show forever. I literally hate that show.

No, it's going to be so good, Claude. It's going to be so good.

I don't know. I really tried, and I know I say this every time I say something negative, but I really try to be a positive person.

What part about this doesn't do- Not about this.

It's just everything so far. I actually saw a TikTok of Taylor Franky Paul today talking about how she said something so wild on camera, everybody gasped. I don't know. It's just not giving ready for a stable relationship. The trailer.

Okay, fine. That part I can agree with.

I could see us all getting on board, getting really invested. And this is just a big waste of time. A good opportunity for her, but nothing's going to come from it.

So you really want love. What about true love is what you're saying?

I don't even need them to really end up together. I just want people who are serious. Do you know what I mean?

And I just don't feel- I need them to end up together, No, sometimes things don't work out, but that doesn't mean your heart wasn't in the right place and you weren't really ready for a relationship.

I really don't feel like she's going on the Bachelorette to find her partner. I don't feel like she really wants an end game right now. She's having so much fun. She's so successful. She's young. It's great.

I'm going to give her the benefit of the doubt and say that that's what she wants because I think it's probably lonely at the top, and she wants to be with someone. All of her friends have husbands, and when she's home in Utah, that's where she films herself. She's not always traveling the world. She would like to be doing it with someone.

We were talking about Whitney from Salama and how maybe she might leave the show. She then two days later, posted on Instagram a bunch of moving boxes that they're officially New York residents. Now, I'm not sure if that was just because she extended her run as Roxy Hart, and they got an apartment, and she had to tag the movers. Or if she doesn't have a home in Utah anymore.

It was giving tagging the movers. Okay, that's fine.

Listen, we all have a hustle to play.

Don't forget when Jen Affleck said she was moving to New York for her husband's medical school, and she's still on the show. So these women, they're women of the world.

They're transient in terms of where they live. And Whitney, as of the last season, that wasn't even living in Utah, right? She was living in St. George.

She came back for the show.

Yeah, but she was living three hours away.

And so it's Secret Lives of Norman Wives. They can still be following Whitney, and she can come back for a couple of events.

It's not Secret Lives of Utah Wives. Right.

I think that she will stay on the show in some capacity.

I really hope so.

Now, I want to play a fun game. I want you to look at these guys Just based on looks and vibes, I want you to pick not the top three, but three people who you think might win. I saw two that I feel good about, but I want to go through it again. It's usual crop of bachelor guys.

We don't get a lot of- Shane is so cute.

Let me see Shane.

Private wealth planner. Okay, Dream Man. Oh, for sure. He's very handsome. Okay, I just want to say Trenton. I don't want to just choose the first one.

Show me Trenton.

Just based on looks and the fact that he's a professional athlete, it's giving winner.

Okay.

I don't think she would choose Shane. I would. And that's how I know we're not aligned. I don't think she would choose Ron. He's very nerdy-looking. Account executive. She can't be with a corporate baddie. Entrepreneur, served in the military for 17 years and then started his own business supporting kids the foster care system. That's Rod. Oh, cutie. He's cute. I don't think she would choose him. Oh, Richard. You don't meet anyone named Richard these days.

We were just talking about the name Richard.

It's a great name. He's from Charleston, and he's a photographer. For an influencer, it's a perfect husband.

But I feel like, just like you said, she's not going to end up with an account manager or even the private wealth manager. Photographer is a flexible gig. I could see her with a creative like that.

I agree. So his name was Richard. Can you write down people who I think? Who I think.

Who you think. But you have to go with three pics for number one. It doesn't mean they're top three. No, of course.

But I just want to see if at the end of the season, if I'm right. So I think that, write these names down. Richard and Trenton so far. Now, Mike from New Jersey, who's a brand protection manager. I don't know what that means. Do you work in security?

No. Like, protects your brand.

Do you know what I mean? That's not a job.

No, I think it is. I I think it is.

He's a reformed bad boy and an aquaphore addict. Oh, that sounds like for her. No, I don't think.

Let me see.

It's not giving his soulmate.

Okay. But sometimes these pictures are not fair.

Yes. Oh, Michael's cute. He's from San Diego. He's a chiropractic.

A healer. Oh, I thought that he was a good one. Let me see him. A healer?

I'm sorry.

He has the bachelor-winning look.

This is not your grandma's bachelor, though. We have to rethink everything we thought we knew. Matt, I'm sorry. No.

So you're saying Richard and Trenton so far? Richard and Trenton. What was the name of the healer?

The Healer? The Healer's name was Michael B.

Michael B. I'm putting him down for now.

Marcus, who's from Elmont, New York, a creative director. I don't think that she would choose him. I don't think she would choose someone from New York. Malik, who's from Brooklyn, New York, a tech executive. No, sorry. Too stable. Lou. By the way, how do you think you spell Lou?

L-o-u. L-e-w. Trevor Lewis.

Oh, duh. He's from Salt Lake, and he's an insurance tech founder. He's 6'8.

Oh, my gosh. Zoom in.

But looks-wise, it's not giving match, even though she was with Dakota. So what the hell do we know?

But Dakota looks like a guy on the match. He looked like the first guy, the sports guy.

I'm sorry, Lou. It's going to be a no. Kevin, who's from Miami and is a physical therapist. No. Josh is A sales manager from Utah, a Disney adult. That's what it says. Show me. But I don't think she would like his looks. Johnny, he's cute. He's from Massapeake. It sounds like a magical place.

Show me Johnny.

He's got long hair. He's 30 years old. He's a former professional baseball player. That's good. I think write down Johnny. I don't think he's a front runner. Oh, Doug.

He's the one to watch. Doug was another one of mine.

Doug is the one to watch. He's from San Diego. Is a lifeguard, and he can ride a unicycle.

Yeah. Conrad. He's silly, goofy.

Conrad is a startup founder. Goodbye. Clayton is a singer, songwriter, and loves flower bouquets. Bye. Christopher is from California. He's a business owner and an Air Force vet and devoted single dad.

Show me.

Okay, wait. What do you think about a fellow single parent? Blended.

I don't know if that's what she's- I don't think she can spread herself to now start caring about someone else's kid. And I think, I imagine she wants to have more kids. Like, then there's just a lot of kids. A mechanical engineer- But I don't think she would say no to someone because of that. I don't think so. No.

A mechanical engineer from Nashville? No.

Why? You could do that anywhere. They have mechanics in Utah.

A lone officer from South Dakota who's also a single dad.

Dakota. Cute.

It's not giving the one for me. Oh my God, this guy. This guy, Brad, is like, everyone's sitting on a stool, and they just sat on the stool in different poses. He got up and touched the stool for his photo.

He leaned down the stool.

Newport Beach entrepreneur. No. Aaron from Utah product manager. No. Oh, that's it. Okay. You gave me three. Yeah. I'm staying with my pics. Okay. Cannot wait.

This will be so fun.

Is reality Steve still a thing? Can we just spoil it? I'm dying to know. Oh, yeah.

I feel like it's probably already out there who won because I feel like she's been out with him. Remember that she went to a game with someone?

No, but that was on a date, a televised date. We used to get that all the time where the dates weren't public and we would see.

Yeah.

Honestly, do moi better get her big girl panties on. She's the new Reality Steve or this generation of reality TV. So I hope she's putting in the work boots on the ground.

Yeah. I also I'm going to say, I'm surprised that there aren't any familiar faces here, either past participants or- Someone's brother from Utah. Who was like, I've always loved Taylor.

Yeah, like when Beckham Tilly showed up on Ben Higgins season.

Yeah. Or someone from the reality TV world, like Harry Chouzey. Totally. I feel like that- They would have thrown in someone. This is missing a little bit. Or a former bachelor contestant that always happens. Yeah.

I guess one of these guys is our next Bachelor, even though the model is out the window, right?

The model is out the window.

Good. It was holding them back, these brandos.

But I don't know. I feel like Shane could be the next bachelor. There's a lot of next bachelors here. Great. So that will be fun to watch. And I think all the bacheloretts, the former Bachelets, they got together last month. I saw that. And they were making content. I think for the premiere of the show, they always like to kick it off with a bang, probably passing the baton to Taylor.

I think it was the first time they'd all been in the same room.

Yeah.

And I don't believe there was anybody who didn't show up, even though I didn't see Claire crawling in that picture, I just want to say.

Interesting.

Let me triple check. I remember looking for her because she's one of the craziest.

It's crazy that she was the bachelor.

Half, right?

She was half. It was her and Tasha.

And then they switched because she's like, right, it's over. Oh, because she ran off.

But No. She ran off. Wait, that's insane that she did that.

She was so fucking crazy. But you know what? She's so happy now. Yeah, Kaitlyn Bristol had posted a bunch of pictures of Katie Thurston. Is there Hannah Brown? What's her name? Ali Feditowski. Andy Dorfman, the O-G. What's her name? Trish.

Trisha. Not Trisha Paytis. Jojo Fletcher. Trisha Ryan.

Bekha Koufren. Oh, my former camp counselor, Ashley Arbare. Yeah, wait, I don't see Claire. I just want to confirm.

I thought Jojo was there.

Emily Maynard.

Tasha. Emily Maynard. Did you see she just became a grandma?

Because Reilly had a baby. Yeah.

Ricky.

Where is Claire? I just want to confirm that I believe Claire was there.

That's a good point.

I know because I was looking to see. I'm looking to see if anyone in the comments is like, Where's Claire? Oh, Gabby Windy?

Mm-hmm.

And she split the season with a girl named Michelle.

No, with the pilot? With Rachel.

Rachel, sure.

Rachel, the pilot.

Gabby Windy is not there.

They love a pilot. Gabby Windy is not there.

Yeah. I forgot about her. I didn't watch that season. And I don't... No one's like, pointing... Oh, Jen Tran.

She's the most recent one.

And Michelle Young.

They're not there.

According to the comments.

I feel like sometimes when you come off of the show, it might end badly. And it's not until years later where you're able to make- That you just want no part of it. No, you're able to make peace with it and be like, This was a nice thing that got me to where I am now. But when you're so fresh off of it, it's like, Fuck this toxic Yeah.

Okay. Fuck this toxic shit. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, of course. I also forgot that there's also beef between a lot of the ladies, like Caitlin Bristol and Tasha, because remember, Caitlin was dating Zack Clarke. I forgot about that.

That's crazy.

Yeah.

That's crazy. Okay, so the premiere is going to be good.

They need Keelan Bristol for posting all the pictures.

The premiere is going to be good.

The premiere is going to be good.

Are you ready for our next story? A little casting news.

Yes, sorry. Not been calling me. I literally do the same thing every morning.

What are you calling me about? But it makes you think like, what is he...

There's an emergency, so let me just check.

He has a concussion.

Well, he must be concussed if he's calling me during the hours of 9: 00 to 11: 00 AM.

It's true. But do you want to just check that everything's okay before we move forward? We don't want your mind elsewhere.

Oh, he's just being drama. We're fine. We're good.

Our next story, some casting news. Lily Collins will play Audrey Hepburn in a movie about the making of Breakfast at Tiffany's. Lily Collins will be playing Audrey Hepburn. She will also serve as a producer for the project, which is based on the Sam Wassen book, Fifth Avenue, 5: 00 AM. Audrey Hepburn: Breakfast at Tiffany's in the Dawn of the Modern Woman. Elaina Smith, best known for creating the Apple TV series, Dickinson, will write the script. A director has not been set.

I I think people wouldn't normally care about this as much as they do if it hadn't been for the last two years, Ariana Grande cosplaying as Audrey Hepburn, clearly vying for the role, trying a little hard, in my opinion, and she didn't get it. Now, I want to say, I don't feel I think that's a reflection on Ari because from the whole wicked thing, what my takeaway was that she's actually an insanely talented actress. I thought she out acted a lot of her fellow professional actors. I think she might be too big of a personality, pop star, Ari, to play someone else who's just as big of a... I think Lily Collins is just an actress.

She becomes who she is.

Because we don't know Lily, and that's how it's supposed to be. We know Emily. Right. We know Emily. We know Rosie was her name in that terrible Terrible movie. Remember we watched her test movie of the Week? Yeah. She just becomes, and that's really what a talented actress is supposed to do. So, Ari is just cursed by her own stardom. Yeah. I don't think she would have been good. I think it's meant to be, but I know she's crushed.

Yeah, I'm sure she's crushed. But that's show business, baby. But I also feel like years ago, we reported that Lily Collins was going to play Audrey. But now that we're talking about it, I'm having a sense of date with you.

Yeah, I am, too.

Is there only one Audrey movie being made right Because I also could see this is just a very siloed Audrey movie about the making of- It's not a biopic. Right. There might be other roles out there for Ari, and you know Hollywood likes to focus on one thing and make three different versions of it. Snow White, Presley. Ari might have been vying for a different Audrey Hepburn movie.

But I just want to say I don't think it's right for Ari's self. She was able to step into Glinda because Glinda is actually a pop star. It aligns this Audrey thing. It's not the right role for her. I'm sorry. I don't know. She needs to hear that hard truth.

I think She could do it.

She could do it, but I don't think it would be right.

But also, she transformed herself physically to look somewhat like Audrey Hepburn by the end of the press tour of Wicked. And Lily Collins just is Audrey Hepburn. She just wakes up and she doesn't have to dye her hair and shave her eyebrows. She just is her.

No, Ari's next big role is coming. I don't know what it is and how you follow up a franchise like Wicked, but it's coming.

Yeah, there's a lot. I'm not I'm worried about her options. Does that look worried. No, there's a lot she could do.

I personally, I'm ready for Lily Collins to move beyond Emily in Paris.

Because I- I'm ready for society to move beyond Emily in Paris.

Because I'm ahead of the curve. I've been over it for years. And I watched it. I gave it a chance. I know it was camp and stupid, and I got it after two seasons. I feel like it's actually been overall bad for Lily Collins because I now think of her as a joke actress. When up until that point, did you ever see that movie about when she was anorexic? Bones? Bones, something. Oh, my God. That fucking movie haunts my nightmares. Chilling performance. I do think she's an underrated actress of our time, Netbo Queen. But this whole show, I feel like it's actually doing a lot of damage to her image.

Well, just on the track that she was on because now she's just commercial.

She was serious actress, and now she's just Netflix goon.

We're always telling more people to be Netflix goons. Are we? People who are serious, we're like, Stop being so serious. Do movies that people like. And people do like Emily in Paris. This is so true. We just happen to- We are so contradictory. We just happen to not like Emily in Paris, which is so off-brand for us.

No, it's not. I mean, it's off-brand for you to never have even watched the first couple.

I watched the first season, maybe the second one. The second one was good. I really didn't like it. They did not need a third. I felt Jupiter for having watched it. Yeah.

And it's crazy. The same person who created that created Sex in the City. Yeah. And younger.

Younger.

And I'm also ready for Daryn's Star to do something new because I feel like whenever it's a new Darren Star show, it's like everyone has to watch it. He was batting a thousand up until this show.

Critics will say he's still batting a thousand. Critics won't. We are the outliers.

No, we're not. I think a lot of people feel the way we feel about Emily in Paris. They watch it because it's stupid.

Have you seen the TikToks of that girl who walks like... What's the name in the French boss?

Yes. Is there a T, like Susie? No, it's like French.

She walks like Sylvie. Sylvie. She does TikToks of her walking like Sylvie. Let me tell you, I've only seen one season of the show, and I knew exactly what she was doing.

Do you know that in France, Susie is like Madonna? Not like pop stars. Sylvie. She is like a Kate Moss type. She's like the most chic fashionista woman. Before Emily in Paris, them getting her was the casting of a century.

It's so funny.

It's so funny.

Well, congrats, Lily Collins.

Yeah. Are you ready for our next story? It's a job a Million Girls, Specifically One Popstar Dreamed Of.

Yeah, but the one you were born to do. Yeah. Our next story is more casting news. Just really quick.

Do you know one of the best songs of all time is written about Lily Collins, which is so crazy?

Phil Collins.

Who once so small, you ♪ It seems so strong. My arms will hold you till you're safe and warm. But don't you cry, 'cause you'll be in my Yeah, that's about Audrey Hepburn, isn't that so crazy?

Yeah. And Tarzan.

But the inspiration.

Let's talk about Tarzan.

Do we have to? What was that? No, I actually- What was Tarzan? I prefer, I'm I just prefer the adaptation, George of the Jungle. That Brandon Fraser movie was so fucking good. Yeah. And I feel like it was a live-action Tarzan, right?

I guess so. Or it's just the same concept of Man of the Jungle.

It was like elf. Grew up, raised by elves, grew up, raised by wolves, and then had to go be normal.

I love that movie. It's a classic tale.

It's crazy that the man... Actually, this is crazy. You want to talk about Range? Brandon Fraser played George of the Jungle and the whale. Yeah. Get you an actor who can do both.

That's our boy.

That's our boy. If you haven't seen, what's that movie, Embezzled?

Bedazzled.

Thank you. So good.

Who knows? We'll choose it and make everyone watch it. Toastmovie of the Week. Invention of Lying. Invention of Lying.

If you've been listening to this show since Toast Movie of the Week, and you are still listening after I assigned Little Children, the movie, you're a real one, and I see you.

You guys, it was tough times.

It was COVID. It was COVID.

We were just trying to get it done. To survive, yeah. We were trying to get it done.

We were trying to do a daily show in one of the most tense, disgusting clients.

When everybody has to stay home, no news.

And they were canceling bitches on the internet, right, left, and center. So, of course, we were just trying to survive.

We were just trying to watch movies and talk about them.

And have dinner on the roof.

Are you ready for our next story, which is some more casting news? Oh, yeah. Tom Hanks will be playing his distant relative, Abraham Lincoln, in an upcoming movie.

I just feel like everyone who plays Abraham Lincoln is fucking insufferable.

Because they have to go full Lincoln. Like Log Cabin. I personally feel like I'm ready for an Abraham Lincoln movie.

Yeah, because what's funny is we actually saw the Daniel Day Lewis one, and I remember falling asleep in the... Why did we see that movie?

It was the biggest movie. It was like, the Oscar movies used to be the most popular movies. When they came out, you saw it. You would go to the theater. You endeavored to see them. I think it came out around Thanksgiving Christmas. We saw it as a family. Lincoln.

I passed out. Like, one of the better naps I've ever taken.

Yeah, me too. I remember I was so hungover.

Oh, I wasn't hungover. I was just bored.

Deadly hungover.

I don't forget what part of Abe's life the film zeroed in on because I forget because I was asleep.

It's like, God, why they give us a biopic instead? It's like, here's the 10 days where he wrote the Deghetties burger dress.

It's like Jackie. The 10 days after- It's like my weekend with Marilyn.

You're making a movie about Marilyn Monroe. It's about a weekend.

That's why I like those Bohemian Rhaps type of movie musicals.

From soup to nuts.

Birth to death. I don't want to have to see multiple movies or multiple films. Just tell me everything I need to know about this person. Elvis.

That's why Audrey, What's Coming is just like the making.

It's zeroed in on biopic.

Breakfast and Tiffany's. Anyways, Tom Hanks will be playing Abraham Lincoln, an upcoming biopic. Lincoln in the Bardo is based on George Saunders' best-selling novel of the same name. It will star Tom as Abraham Lincoln. It will be a hybrid movie combining live-action filmmaking and stop motion animation. How frightening.

I want to say one thing. I've seen a lot of Tom Hanks movies, and I agree, he's amazing. Big, Toy Story, Forest Gump. I like how the first one I said was big. That movie's so good.

I actually recently saw- Sully. Sully. Captain Phillips.

I recently saw- Elvis. A film of his where he played a real-life historical person. I forget what the name of the movie was. They were trading spies. It was something like, Russia, we captured someone, and he was a US hostage negotiator.

And you're sure it's a true story?

Yeah.

A Man, called Otto?

No, I definitely didn't see that. It was called like... In the final scene, they're on a bridge and they trade- Saving Private Ryan? No, they trade the two prisoners of war. Yeah, I think it's Mr. Gorbachev era.

Okay, I'm looking.

It wasn't called Spotlight.

It was called- Bridge of Spies.

Yes. Oh, Yeah, because the movie ends on a bridge and they're trading spies. Thank you. I just want to say it was distracting. I don't think he was good at it, and I feel like he's a really talented actor, especially in fictional characters. He really made Forrest Gump. I don't I don't feel like his strong suit is playing people who already exist.

Like Sully and Captain Phillips?

Yeah. Okay. He was really good as Sully. Was he?

I think Sully is just a remarkable man. I agree.

The story itself is remarkable.

I actually don't think I liked the movie that much when I think about it. They made me shit up.

They had to add drama when it was actually just a beautiful tale of heroism.

Right. And they had to add that he was fighting the board of transportation.

When the board of transportation was like, Thanks for saving all those lives, Sully, here's a medal of honor. Right.

But in the movie, they're like, You went about it the wrong way. As if. Da Vinci Code.

Yeah, I guess he is a good actor. I'm just always finding reasons. You know what? I need to start being more positive. So this is amazing. I personally can't wait.

I'm excited for some Lincoln up in here.

But I want to know who's playing Mary Todd.

Mary Todd Lincoln?

Yeah.

I'm not seeing.

And I guess it's Abe Lincoln, played by Tom Hanks. It's going to be an older Abe. Maybe it's around the assassination. So we need an older woman. Maybe Rita.

Also, So- Rita. Tom Hanks is a distant cousin of Abraham Lincoln's mother.

Oh, so it's a nepo casting. Okay. Cool.

Well, no, that's cool. That's like Michael Jackson's nephew playing him.

Nephew is different than you had to check ancestry. Com to make sure you shared one cousin. That's like Julia Roberts is actually related to Martin Luther King.

That's beautiful. Something like that. And Emma Roberts. Of course. And the other one. Emma's dad.

I don't He's someone.

I believe it.

Okay, so congrats, Tom. I didn't know he was still actively acting.

Yeah, no, he is.

I feel he's more of a behind the scenes producer.

No, I feel like he puts himself in everything.

I just want to say I was half expecting to find his name in the Epstein files, but he, as far as I know, is not in there. Oh, he's clear? Because his name gets thrown in. Anytime they talk about the ring of Hollywood pedophilia, it's always Tom Hanks and Steven Spielberg.

But it's not... It's like...

You're saying it's a different ring. It's not the Epstein ring?

No, I'm saying I actually feel like that's empty.

Yeah, the blinds are always saying it's Tom Hanks. But so I'm saying if he was this leader, he would have been in the Epstein files. So I do feel like that is him.

But he also might have just run in a different circle That's a fabulous circle of friends.

I know. But if you are in a circle, your circle was going to Venn diagram with Epstein's. So I feel like the Epstein files have actually been really good for Tom Hanks. And maybe that's why he's acting now. Yeah.

And he feels ready to get back out there, get out.

Yeah. Because I read those blinds and I I was like, oh, he probably... I always thought in the back of my mind, Yeah, Tom Hanks.

But now you don't. No, I really don't. That's good.

Yeah. Oh, my God. Remember when Tom Hanks invented COVID in America?

Because he got it in Australia.

He was the first person to get it. That was such a crazy time. I forgot about that.

It was such a crazy time.

And then I was just reminded of during COVID, do you remember when John Krasinski started his Instagram show, Some Good News, and sold it to CBS for $100 million and never made another episode ever again?

Yeah. So when that happens, he gets $100 million. They get the name Some Good News.

Sometimes those buyouts are earnings-based. You'll get $100 million when the show generates XYZ. So maybe he didn't get it, or maybe it was just an outright purchase.

No, but even if they're earnings-based, you get a base. You don't just come in with zero. So he definitely got a lump sum at some point. He got a huge check. Of millions of dollars. And then CBS was just like, Well, actually, we don't want to do anything with Some Good News.

So Some Good News is an Instagram account with over... And it has the same logo as So it's the same one. It's an Instagram account that shares positive good news, like Tanks Good News. It has over a million followers. It last posted four days ago, and they just... It's like a buzz feed.

They aggregate- There hasn't been good news in four days. I mean, ain't that true? What do you mean USA?

They aggregate content from other people. They don't have a website or anything. I can't imagine it's generating $100 million a year. I like it. What a griff. I just Yeah, I just saw somebody do a Twitter thread about the grift that was Some Good News, and it reminded me like, yeah, he was going live on Instagram, and then I was like, he got acquired for $100 million, like a month later.

I can't. Wow. Good for him. John Krasinski. Don't hate the player. Hate the game.

Some Good News was a popular YouTube web series created and hosted by John Krasinski during the COVID-19 pandemic, featuring uplifting stories and celebrity guests to provide a break from negative news. It launched in 2020, gained massive popularity for its feel good content, including virtual reunions, to healthcare workers, before he sold the rights to Viacom, CBS in May 2020. So he started in March, and in two months, March, April, April, April, March, made $100 million. And it's now on CBS All Access, Paramount+ and Comedy Central.

And What is it when you go there?

So on the YouTube channel, which I assume he sold, the last video was five years ago, him and Dwayne Johnson, just like, you know. But it was getting 10 million views per episode. On YouTube, 20 million, 5 13 million, 6 million. But how is that? Maybe I don't understand business, okay? Maybe the next businessman of the week could be the person who explains to me how that was a good investment.

But we should also have the worst businessman of the week.

Oh, my God. I love that.

Where people- People flop. I would also say the person at HBO who keeps going back and forth with Max, I would put him in. But also the person who acquired some good news and then never did anything with it.

Do you know what I could do with $100 million?

Do you know who should be the businessman of the week in that scenario? John Krasinski. John Krasinski.

Don't hate the player. I hate the game.

That's what I said. Of course. That's what I said. Yeah. Don't hate us because you ain't us.

Emily Blunt needs more money. I fully endorse that. She's a mother. They fund their own projects, Quiet Place. I feel good about the 100 mil.

Yeah.

But as a business owner myself, I'm like, What am I missing?

But also for the Krasinski stands. Don't you feel a little stupid? You got played. It was like, Yeah, I want to put out good news, but I more so want $100 million. Yeah.

It seemed like it was an earnest project, but in reality, it was just corporate capitalism at its worst.

I don't want to share good news more than I want $100 million because he stopped sharing good news after.

Right. So it's like, It's good news at what cost?

Good news has a price.

So don't forget about the SGN rabbit Hole, okay? And thank you to the person on Twitter who reminded me of that.

Thank you for sharing with the class. Our next story, Harry Style, is set as the SNL Hosted Musical Guest in March after his new album release.

Let's talk about Aperture.

Aperture.

That was his big mistake, releasing a song that starts with AP because there's only one song that can start with E.

T. I just want to say, On Aperture Day, I endeavored to listen. We discussed it. I never saw, heard, thought, or talked about it again. I don't even see it in content on reels and stories. Yeah.

So often, when a song gets released by a major artist, even if I don't like it, I end up hearing it on TikTok, in grocery stores, on the radio. I'll end up knowing the whole song and probably liking it just for sheer exposure. I agree. After I listened to it a couple of times on my own, I never Even on TikTok, which is crazy. It's a flop, yeah? Or am I just not operating in the right circles?

Let's ask Margot. Oh, yeah. Ask, Is Aperture a flop?

Should I FaceTime her?

Oh, sure. Let's see if she wants to be on the show. Tell her we're recording.

Say her, Hi, we're recording, so don't say your ATM pin. But as our resident, music person.

Young person.

Young person. Would you consider Aperture by Harry Style to be a flop or a success? I'm going to turn you around so everyone can see you, so fix your angle. Oh, sorry. Hold on. Hey, Sachi. Hi, guys. Hi.

I love you.

It's so funny. I was just thinking about that. I think it was a banger maybe when it came out, but I think it has now become a flop. It's from my POV. Can you sing it for us? I don't even recognize it.

Aperture lets the light in.

Sounds good when Margot sing it.

No, it sounds like it's Aperture lets the light in. I don't know.

I just feel like it's not on the radio waves. I'm not hearing it in every target that I go to. Wait, is it on TikTok? It was when it came out because everyone was excited about it, but I don't know that it has staying power.

It doesn't have legs.

It doesn't have legs. Okay, so we just wanted to make sure we weren't I'm not missing anything.

No, you guys seem to be on point.

Thanks so much. Love you. And I sent you. I made a TikTok. I sent it to you. Is it mean? You didn't watch it? No, I haven't seen it yet. It's about you. Go watch it. I'm so scared.

All right. Tell me. Bye.

So still funny. Margot loved to comment on my TikTok yesterday being like, Let me read it to you exactly. Sorry. Once you don't have a TikTok, you're missing out on sister stuff.

That's okay.

I haven't read. She said, It said, That's a nice lip color. And it's like, Oh, that's nice. My sister's complimenting me. But I knew there was more there, there. And I explained the TikTok, Why Margot?

Show me this.

I'm funny about having a sister. Now, this is my sister. She's giving me a compliment. Isn't that so nice? I know this bitch so well. I gave her a compliment on Saturday, and she always makes it a big deal. She says I'm her biggest hater. I'm always saying, Fix your hair, fix your face.

You literally said that in the video.

She was so pretty because she went out on Saturday night and she was like, Wow, thanks. I was like, You're welcome. Maybe if you slay more, you would get more compliments. I'm such a bitch. It's clear that she needs to pay me back so that we're even. She says, That's a nice lip color. I just know it pained her. So thank you, Sachi. This is a nice lip color. Let me tell you about the products. Let me tell you how I got it. So, yeah, that's what's going on on TikTok.

Oh, wow. Like I said, I have an inner peace and calm.

Just not closeness with your sisters.

Really? I would say I'm the glue.

Okay. Well, somebody who's not the glue would say that.

I am so the glue.

You are rubber and I am glue.

I am so the glue. Okay.

So how do we get to Harry styles?

He's performing SNL, The Works, etc..

I think he needs some more zzzzz. Maybe he thought he was at a place where he could release music and not have to work so hard. He did that whole press tour from his couch. He didn't even show up to a studio to do radio. So I think maybe he thought he was at the level. And maybe at one point he was, but he took a big break. And now you have to put your big boy pants on and go to work.

No, and everybody is out there. Even if they just drop an album in the middle of the night, they then get after it. Adele, Beyoncé, Taylor. Everyone He does it. I don't know why he would think that he doesn't have to.

Yeah, he's not exempt. No, he's not exempt. And also, as a man excelling in a woman's field, you have to constantly be doing more. He is one of the only male pop stars, as it should be. Sorry, pop stardom is for girls.

Unless the music is going to stand alone, but it doesn't.

Much like the cheese.

Much like Bruno Mars. He doesn't have to do press. Give us a song and it's a hit, and that's it, Bruno. Go back to the casino.

So if you are going to try and keep up with your fellow pop girlies, they do the most. Like you were saying, even the big ones, even Taylor. So you just releasing a mid-song and doing press from your couch using wired headphones, it's not going to cut it in the age of Adele, Beyoncé, Taylor Swift.

Do you use wired headphones? I do. Because of the electrons?

Not so much like electrons, more so. I can't keep up with having another device. Do You know what I mean? The connecting to Bluetooth, the charging, the having to put them back in the case. I just had a baby. I don't have the- You don't need a baby. Spiritual bandwidth to also have another device.

So it's not about the radio waves going through your brain?

No, it's really not. It's hard for me to believe things that I can't see. Do you know what I mean?

But when you just think about it. Sure. It seems like, yeah, that's probably happening. Sure. Radio waves in the brain. Sure. Yeah. I'm a wired girl.

I'm a wired girl, too, which is an imperfect solution, mind you. I'm always untangling them. Yeah. But again, they never die on me. What's worse than having a pair of AirPods that you can't fucking use because they're dead?

That's insane. No, they're connected to someone over there.

Oh, and that's the other thing. Ben, all the headphones in my house, if you ask Ben, they're communal. So I'll plug them in and all of a sudden I'm on a spritz call. It's crazy. Oh, damn. Yeah, it's bad because they go to Ben's computer. He just picks up whatever headphones he finds. Yeah.

Ben once left a pair of Airpods at my house, and then he put them in lost mode. Oh my God. So they started ringing. He couldn't find them, and they would just ring all the time.

I've said this before, and I'll say it again. My husband is the craziest person.

He is.

And I don't know how he got that way. He's so crazy.

He's so crazy. Sometimes he'll do stuff, even the way he just cuts a tomato.

He took Advil. He needed to wash it down with something, and he opened a jar of pickles and drank the pickle juice. Only a genuinely fucking crazy person would do that, and he didn't think it was weird at all.

Yeah. That's not option 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, six, seven, nine, or 10.

I would sooner, if I had nothing else except pickle juice, it wouldn't even occur to me to drink it. I would just dry swallow. Or the sink. Is there a sink? Yeah.

Is there a sink? Are you ready for our fifth and final story? A little trait us news.

Trait us. This is actually really crazy. And then Colton, never beating the stalker allegations.

Well, oh, you think? So Lisa Lisa Rinna fears that she was drugged at a traiter's premiere party. Lisa Rinna is on a press tour for her book, so she's drumming up a lot of press, plus she's talking about traitors and the union.

And I don't know if it's Lisa herself or somebody who works for her who tells her all the internet, Laura, because she gives the people exactly what they want. We It would someone from Trader's to start talking about the stalker allegations, especially it would have been nice if it was the person who Colton said he was going to kidnap. Lisa Rinna said, You ask, I deliver.

Lisa reportedly suspects that she was drugged at the Season 4 Premiere Party of Traitors on January eighth. Her Traitor's castmate, Colton Underwood, first became concerned when he noticed she was completely inebrated at the party, even though she hadn't had that much to drink, sources told TMZ. He then notified her team who took her out of the party, the outlet reports. It's unclear if police were called or if Rina went to the hospital. They reach out to reps for comment. Lisa said that her and Colton weren't beefing until the reunion.

Which is after the premiere party.

Right. So at the premiere party, they were good. They're all good. So I actually read this as Colton being a hero.

I completely agree, by the way. I wasn't saying that I thought he drugged her, but it's so unfortunate that a woman was drugged and Colton was there. Do you know what I mean? And he was the one who ended up helping her, which if I'm the person who drugged, I'd also be the one to help. I'm not saying that it's him. I'm just saying it's just unfortunate for Colton. It's just another headline that he's attached to where it's unfortunate.

But I think in this one, he comes off looking good. But maybe that's.

It depends on your outlook.

And your serious suspicion of Colton. Yeah.

And I don't think Colton is a serial stalker. I don't think he gets off. No. I think he had a really, really bad moment or a bad, maybe a year. And he did really bad things. But I believe now he knows that those things were bad and wrong. I don't think that I'm ever going to move past those bad and wrong things. But I don't think, like when he said the hostage thing, I don't think he's taking women for hostage as hobby.

No. And if anyone else said it, we wouldn't even- Think twice. Think twice. I don't think he's drugging women at a party.

He's on his best motherfucking behavior.

Yeah. So this is just really crazy. Who done it then?

I don't know. Are we really still drugging people?

Did you see also that TikTok from Wishbone Kitchen a couple of years ago?

I did.

That was so horrible.

Insane story.

Insane story. I'm insane the way that she shared it because she had been sharing- She didn't share it at the time. No, she never shared it. And then she was just posting a video that she's traveling. She has anxiety about traveling. And people were like, you're so dramatic. This is so dramatic. You're so crazy, and you travel so hard. First class.

And then she was like, well, I actually have anxiety.

She went on to explain why she has anxiety when she travels because she one time went to LA and she was drugged.

At a Hollywood party. Yeah. And kidnapped. Yeah.

And so, yeah, she has anxiety when she travels Do you feel better now? Yeah. Insane. Insane. Really, really scary. Yeah.

Oh, Dear Toaster.

Dear Toaster. Those are the fast five stories that you needed to know.

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Jackie and Claudia. We do it every week. It's tough love. It's the things you need to hear. It's Dear Toaster. If you want to write in, deartoaster@gmail. Com is the email account, or you can just head over to thetoastpodcast. Com. There's a little submission box. Anonymous? No problem. Hello, swirlies. I need some outside perspective on a little Valentine's Day drama with my husband. Every year, all I ask for is chocolate-covered strawberries and flowers. It's our little tradition.

That's so cute. I should add chocolate-covered strawberries to the mix.

Well, last year, I found out that he's also been buying the same exact thing from the exact same place for all of his female employees every Valentine's Day. Apparently, he's been doing this the entire five years we've been together, and I just did not know. I'm not threatened by the employees at all. That's not the issue. What bothered me was finding out on Valentine's Day that the gift that I thought was special to our relationship was also the same gift he gives to the staff. It made me feel less special and honestly, ruined the day for me. Am I wrong for feeling hurt by that, or should I just appreciate that he got me something and he's generous and kind to others?

No, I'm sorry. That's really disgusting. No, I mean, that's fucking crazy. It's just crazy It's Valentine's Day. You don't need to get something for your employees.

If you want to- I just want to say the fact that he's a male employer who gets a little something for the females in his office. I'm thinking of it.

But it's a little something, and it's the same level of something as his I'm thinking he's a doctor and all the nurses.

That's the vibe that I'm getting. It's sweet if he had put chocolate, heart-shaped subdub.

My little Russell Stovers would do the trick.

But the fact that you have this cute little thing and he's sharing it with others. The fact that your gift is the same as his employee's gift, and he doesn't see that as weird. I hate this. You're so justified, and we need to riot.

But it's not a deal-breaker. No, no, no. It's just not totally right. I think his heart's in the right place. He's lazy. He could step it up for you, but if this is your thing and you like how it is, and I think that that's really nice. Yeah, a couple of chocolate kisses is enough for the ladies at work. Yeah. They have their own Val and Galentine Not everyone does.

It's sweet.

No, but I'm not looking to my work to celebrate Valentine's Day.

Valentine's Day is now a corporate holiday in the sense that it's just an excuse for people to eat and put up decoration. Actually, where was I? Was I? Was I at urgent care or something? It was Valentine's Day, and they have little decoration up, like how you do Halloween. It's like a home goods holiday.

Yeah, sure.

It's sweet.

Yeah, but it's like if the ladies in the office are suffering because their boss didn't celebrate Valentine's Day enough. They're not suffering. Thoroughly enough, it's okay.

We don't need to get rid of the presents for the ladies, too. It's a nice thing if you go to work and you get a chocolate. Yeah, like a box of donuts from... They have the heart-shaped brownie batter donuts from Duncan. Get that for the whole office.

Yeah. You should tell him that it hurts your feelings.

Have you been holding on to this secret for a year? You found out last year, and now another Valentine's Day has come to pass.

No, I feel like she found out this year.

No, she said, I found out last year. And maybe she hasn't said anything because she doesn't know if it's overreaction. I'm just letting you know you're underreacting.

Yeah. It's not like at At the end of the day, it's not that anything wrong is happening, but it's just you want to feel special.

He needs to be told. Yeah. Hey, Jackson turdy. My husband and I are high school sweethearts. We've been together since we were 15. We were each other's first and only partners. We have three kids. We very much exist in the roommate phase of life right now. I was cleaning recently and I stumbled across something hidden clearly. I took it out and it was a very large anatomically correct dildo. I called my husband in and asked what it was. He said it's his. He said he's had it for a few years. He was too embarrassed to tell me, but he uses it on himself. I'm very weirded out and also feel very betrayed and insecure. I feel very insecure in my postpartum body right now. Our sex life is not the most active. I flat out asked if he's attracted to men. He said no, but that he just likes us. I could tell that he was very embarrassed. I don't want him to be ashamed, but I also don't know how to get past it, especially because he's been hiding it for the last two years. I don't know what to do or how to move on.

Please help.

I just want to say your postpartum body is irrelevant.

I appreciate you maybe trying to take some onus here, but this is not on you.

It doesn't give or take away a penis for you. Right.

So the age-old question, do you feel like this is just a gay thing? I just want to say, being into that stuff does not automatically make you have gay affliction. The The hiding of it for your high school sweetheart, this is the great love of your life. You should be able to share. The hiding of it is the only thing that gives me a little bit of pause.

Yeah. And it could be something that you do together. Of course. If you're just being open and sharing with your partner. Married couples can go there. They can get down.

And you should in a fun, safe way.

But yes, the hiding of it gives... I have a big secret.

I wouldn't let this go. I would talk more.

Yeah.

Unless Unless you think he's gay and you're just not interested in getting divorced right now and you're okay with living. I just want to say some people do that and you know what?

Maybe you don't want to know more.

Yeah. Your kids are little. You'll figure this out in 10 years. You can't push someone out of the closet. I don't think- You don't want to rock the boat. I don't think having this specific kink is an automatic gay. I just want to say that. I don't.

Me neither. But it's surprising to hear you say it because someone could breathe the wrong way and they're gay.

Well, breathing is a It's a very personal thing. I don't think that means he's gay, but the hiding in secret, and let's see if he wants to... If he's open to continue talking about it, then I think you're in the clear. But if he's very defensive, if he doesn't want to do it together.

If he doesn't want to do it together.

I can understand hiding a kink that you think maybe your wife will think it's gross.

She has a lot going on, and it's like, if you're breastfeeding, you just had a baby and you're like, Hey.

Can you put this on my butt? Get out of here. Not right now. Not right now. Not right now. I'm busy. Right.

So that's actually really thoughtful.

That's beautiful. I like the positive spin you're putting on this. So my advice would be to talk about it more, get a read and open... You need to be down to clown. And if he just wants to continue putting this thing up his butt by himself, you might have a problem.

By himself?

But if he stays- If he's not interested in bringing this sexual fantasy to the bedroom?

Agreed. But if he were to stay doing it by himself, Like, that would be- Flexible case. That would be better than the next step, which is like finding something real live.

That's the way you should feel your whole life.

You know? So, yes, hopefully you guys can I'm going to bond over this.

Period.

I don't know.

I would definitely try to make it a group activity and see how that goes. Oh, I chose. Let me see which one I want to do next. What? I'm going to do both.

Oh, wow. Okay.

This one's easy. Hey, Swirlies. I'm a GLP-1 toaster. It's easy. Thank you. I'm not a fenta. This one's actually very easy. I'm a GLP-1 toaster, and I've lost 70 pounds. I'm studying abroad in Europe this summer, and the apartment that I'm staying out, I just found out, has no refrigerator.

She's in college. Are you going to be okay? She's studying abroad.

Why?

Because we have a young listeners. Oh, no.

Why? We have so many young listeners. It's not a big deal. I just found out that the apartment I'm staying has no refrigerator, meaning I can't bring my Ozempic. I'm sick thinking about the weight I'm going to gain back. Should I cancel my whole semester abroad? Girl, get a mini fridge. Even the ones that they make for skincare, don't keep anything else in it. It's just need an outlet. I'm sure European don't have mini fridges.

Oh, I was going to say everyone says you lose weight in Europe. Maybe try. That's true. Maybe you can be fit, live the European lifestyle, and you don't need a GOP One.

Oh, you need the GLP One. Get a mini fridge.

You can always get a mini fridge, but that's not the worst place to have to be off of Ozempic.

And this is why I don't mess around with Europe, I just want to say. I know they don't believe in air conditioning and they don't put ice in their water, and now they also don't have refrigerators. I just love America. I want that to be just my final piece here. Yeah. You should absolutely go and you should bring your Ozempic with you and seriously get a hotel room.

Well, I feel like if she could bring her Ozempic and this were a quick solve, she would. I feel like she's asking.

I really don't think she's thought beyond either there's no I can't bring it.

But what if the fridge that you would plug in short circuits the breaker? What if the European electric- No, she can't bring one.

She has to buy one, but they don't have mini fridges in Europe.

They don't have fridges.

They definitely have mini fridges in Europe.

Perhaps. But what if she's staying in a little village?

Do they have mini fridges in Europe?

You know how you can't use a blow dryer? Right. Maybe they can't use a refrigerator. I'm just saying maybe just try living the European lifestyle. It's a very healthy lifestyle. It's not that bad.

You'll find them in hotels, Student Housing and Small Apartments. Okay. Girl, get a mini fridge. Okay, great. That wasn't a real something. I just needed it. I saw a fellow GOP sister in need.

We needed like a moose boosh.

Hey, girlies. I love the podcast, and I need some advice. A friend of mine got married about a year and a half ago. We are not super close, but I went to the wedding, and I wrote them a check as a gift. A few months went by and I noticed that the check was never cashed. After texting my friend and learning that they didn't ever see my card or the check, I Venmoed them for the amount. Skip forward.

She cashed her check.

Over a year later, I noticed that they cashed the original check. My bank even shows me a photo of the cashed check, so it was definitely that check. Now I've gifted them double the original amount. It's not the biggest deal in the world, but I'm saving for a house and the whole thing has just really rubbed me the wrong way. What are the chances that this was an honest mistake on their part? Do I say something or just let it go?

I imagine that I'm going to give them the benefit of it, that this was an honest mistake. There's a lot of gifts flying, checks flying. Oh, we found this check.

I can imagine you open a desk drawer, you find a check that you didn't cash.

But if you write someone a check and they don't cash it, that is on them.

I agree, but they said something to her. Right.

If you're worried that they didn't see it, you I could flag it and be like, Hey, I got you this check. I just want to make sure you got my gift. But sometimes people... I have a check in my wallet that was a gift that I have not cashed yet. Same. And that person should not Venmo me the money because it's now to me to go cash my check. I agree.

The fact that this person had the actual goal to reach out to you a year after and being like, Hey, we never got your wedding gift.

Oh, is that what happened? No, she reached out and said, Hey, did you get my check?

Oh, that's your fault. Not to get him to blame. I'm sorry.

Yeah, don't follow up on the check. You did your part. You're being way too extra. Now, this is the price you pay. Right.

For being generous and dotting your T's and checking your eyes?

Yeah, it's too much. You don't have to be that much. You did, you sent a gift.

So that's the lesson here. When you give a check, the check is the gift. And what happens after that is seriously not your problem.

And if the person loses the check, they don't get to come and ask you, Hey, can I get another check?

This is the expensive way you had to learn the lesson. Drop it. I'm sorry that you're saving for a house. Hopefully, you weren't generous with her.

For everyone else out there, you don't need to follow up on your check and your gift. You did your part. Agreed.

The envelope is the gift. It's the same way if you bought someone a They have a sweater and they lost the sweater. Are you going to replace it? This is an American Express.

Or you bought someone a sweater and they never wear a sweater, so you bought them a different sweater and then turned out they liked the sweater. Now they're wearing two sweaters.

No, crazy.

Not your problem.

You had to learn this lesson. I'm sure you're a young gal.

You're overly generous. You're going to go to a lot of weddings in your life.

And you know what? You learn the hard way.

Yeah.

Sorry that happened. Wishing you the best.

Yeah. They didn't do anything wrong other than just not having a perfect organization. Organized.

That's our show, you guys. Thank you so much for listening to the Toast on Monday morning show where we deliver the fast-time stories. You need to know everybody on the Friday on YouTube. So you're watching us on YouTube. Please feel free to subscribe and give us a video of a thumbs up. We are also available as a podcast anywhere. A podcast can be found. So at Spotify, to instead of a public radio, our podcast box. All the places we love listening to podcast. Find us a Toast on a five-star. Be about a beautiful setting and wickedly talented we are. Hope you guys have an amazing day, and we will see you tomorrow.

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