Transcript of Salmon, iOS & Saoirse: Tuesday, May 19th, 2026 New

Good morning, girlies.

It's The Toast.

It's Jackson, Claude, and we're your hosts.

It's your favorite show, the fast 5 things you need to know. We'll start your day off swirly. It's The Toast.

I sound amazing.

Welcome back to The Toast and happy Tuesday. I'm choosing and I choose you today, tomorrow, and forever.

That's so beautiful. Kojirin. I'm so glad to see the sunny environment has influenced a sunny disposition.

Absolutely. Lots to be excited about today. One, we're together.

We're together.

Family's everything.

We're together again in studio. So if you're listening, like feel free to watch your girls swirl around. Yeah. Even though if you watch every day, like it does sort of feel like we're together. It's always a party viewing experience, but this is just extra fun.

It's It's beautiful. Um, it's lots to be excited about today. One major launch for the Spritz Society team. As you can see, the boxes behind us have changed, you guys. We teased sort of like we were overhyping, but I do think that the product and the launch like demands the hype that we gave it. We are launching a brand new product.

I don't think we overhyped. I, I literally think that's actually a flaw of ours.

Like that we don't hype enough.

We don't hype enough.

Cause this is like an industry changing product.

Yeah.

It is a skinny spritz. That's our new launch. As you can see the boxes behind me, it's a skinny spritz. It's the classic Italian spritz that you know and love, but we made it skinny. That's right. It's 100 calories. No added sugar. Par-delicious definition. Like skinny girl summer is here. Spritz girl summer is here.

No added sugar.

Zero.

None. Not one.

Like it's— pour it over a glass of ice. Like it looks like a spritz.

Yeah. So we're having a skinny girl summer.

It's available exclusively at Target. We filmed a commercial. It's on the Spritz Instagram. Like it's hilarious. Mm-hmm. And yeah, sort of like big things happening here over at Toast HQ.

Watch this space. Grab a spritz. Mm-hmm. And make it a skinny.

Don't grab a spoon. Travis Pitts.

Yeah, I love that.

Um, so many things I want to talk to you about from yesterday's episode. Okay, the first is that I got a lot of feedback about who Joellen looks like.

I do that, and I actually like feel bad for Joellen that we like opened—

yeah, it's the rudest thing you could do.

Or it's like Claudia's worst nightmare. Like, everyone sound off with who you think Joellen looks like.

But it's like bothering me so much. And while I don't think anybody really got it 100—

nobody scratched the itch that I'm thinking.

The most popular answer, and the one I see the most, is Topanga, Danielle Fishel. So I agree, she does look like Topanga, but it must be somebody in my personal life.

Mm-hmm.

Because nobody really got it.

Well, Joellen herself has said that she looks like a mix of Topanga and Teresa Giudice, which is— She doesn't look like Teresa Giudice. Yes, she does. Look at the cast photo. Look at the cast photo.

Oh yeah, I got a new iPad, everyone. Um, because I left mine in New York and like we always need more iPads at Toast HQ. And I just wanna say I spent the morning setting up an iPad and I wish everybody who like, who was a part of making this iPad and the setup system. I wish them the worst things in their life. Like, seriously, the way my morning was fucking ruined having to get my Apple ID and setting up a passcode, and then like all my texts got on here even though I explicitly said don't transfer anything. Miserable morning. Sorry, what was I doing on my— what was I doing?

Look at the cast photo for Rory because she does look like Teresa Duda. There's a sprinkle of Teresa in there. Trey, someone said she looks like America Ferrera. Claudia didn't like that call, but I did.

Her cast photo, like, with all the women, or a lot of people say she looks like Olivia Oshray. Oh, she does have Olivia Oshray sprinkled in.

Yeah, she's like—

and I just want to say, I don't feel bad about these celebrity doppelgangers because everyone we're mentioning is pretty. Like, she— Joellen is pretty.

Yeah, yeah. I guess it's like not like a—

oh, in the cast photo she is giving, um, Judy J. Yeah, they all look like Dolores.

Yeah. And then like Alicia and Liz do sort of look like each other until you watch more.

Did we say that Kelsey looks like Olivia Culpo?

Other people have said it. For me, she's Gal Gadot. And in the episode I was watching last night, from the angle that I was seeing her face, she was giving Kim Kardashian. You ever get a, you ever get a glimpse of Kim with her?

No, but actually Jo Ellen is also giving Kim.

Interesting.

It's insane how they all look the same.

Like, yeah, yeah. Did you watch any more last night?

No, I started the viral series Off Campus. Have you heard about it?

I've heard, like, that's all I've heard, viral series Off Campus porn.

The funny thing is, is like, oh, one of the porn books that I didn't read got made into a TV show, and I'm watching and I'm like I think I've read this book. Checked my Goodreads this morning. I did read this book, but I don't have any recollection of like her being a music major. I thought she was an ice skater, but then I think that's Deal Breaker or Icebreaker. That's— they should turn into. So I watched it and like obviously people are just making it Prime.

Who's in it?

Nobody you ever know except the girl— you're telling me that's not Barbie Ferreira from Euphoria? Like, I couldn't believe what I was seeing. Um, you know, it's got your classic makings. It's getting overhyped like just because of the porn. Um, is the show like amazing? No, but like I'm starting to fall in love with the characters and like it's cute, but it's only something I could watch, um, while Ben was playing basketball with your husband last night. Cuz if Ben walked in and was watching like the actual— not even the porn, but like the acting— like it's humiliating to be a part of it. Like I'm ashamed to be watching the show, but I will be finishing it. You ever have one of those shows?

Yeah, of course.

Yeah, I just feel like there are some porn shows that are so like— I think a good example is what's the, um, Daisy Edgar-Jones one, um, Normal People. Was that the show?

Sure.

That she did with, um, Paul Mescal?

Is that about normal people?

That was like a beautiful show while also being porn. Oh my God, I loved it.

Hated.

The show that I'm watching now is like legitimately like some of the worst acting, the worst everything. Hallmark. The fake college that they go to, like it's just like, it's so—

it's like ABC Family.

Yes. Oh yes, perfect example. But it's good and I like it, and the characters— that guy's really cute. Um, but like it's stupid, you know. But I wanted to, you know, obviously because I'm a part of a viral show, I had to like watch the viral show, you know? Yeah, it's my job as sort of our viral correspondent.

Oh, okay. Oh, and have fun.

There's, you know, product placement. There's a Liquid IV product placement. It's sort of a storyline. I want to say good on Liquid IV for getting involved in a viral show, but in a unique way. Like, obviously they're all athletes, they're collegiate athletes, so you would think like, okay, they're having Liquid IV. But no, there's a storyline that like one of the athletes gets a Liquid IV with his sponsorship, but it has to be with his dad who he has a bad relationship with. Like, it's funny.

Oh, interesting.

Yeah. And they're like, you should do the Liquid IV sponsorship With Graham, like, whatever. Oh my God, it's funny.

It sounds great. Oh, and also I haven't seen that much of it though yet. It hasn't like totally— it's bubbled up to the surface. Like, yeah, you're early on the curve, but I have been hearing like a little bit.

Yeah.

But no, as far as like need to watches for me, and I'm like, literally bedtime last night was a 2-hour long affair. It's amazing that I got to watch any Rory.

I will tell you when things— like I told you, you need to watch Rory. You do not.

No, no, no. I am not watching that show. No.

Tonight though is In the City premiere along with Summer House. Summer Summer House. Oh, is it the finale?

I think so.

That's exciting.

That's— it's giving like, you know, like, I've had enough, I'm ready for Beverly Hills to—

absolutely. They had their big, uh, from event last night. Amanda was there. She looked good.

Yeah. Um, I mean, they all owe her a huge thank you.

Enormous.

Like, Lindsay and Kyle and everyone needs to be sending her flowers because not only did she like make this season of Summer House, like, she has solidified that their show, that You know, most shows suck and don't go anywhere and nobody wants to watch them. Um, she has solidified that their show will be a hit. Like, you're welcome. Absolutely. And I ruined my life for you guys.

Like, well, she didn't really do it for them.

She's so fucking generous.

She didn't really do it for them, but I hear you.

She's so selfless.

Beyond.

They actually—

she's always thinking of others. She—

they seriously owe her a thank you, as mad at her as they are. In a backwards kind of way, like, they are all being lifted up because of her sins, and they all look like heroes even though they did not do anything.

They all—

they did not do anything. Yeah, they just aren't her.

So Like, it's good. Exactly. No, I lowkey feel that.

And they get to like take the moral high ground.

Yeah.

Even though they've sanctioned these sorts of like incestuous relationships in the house all along. No, and— Except for Lindsay.

Her crime like doesn't really hurt most of them. Like, yes, Sierra and Kyle I'm not talking about, but like everyone else who's now a hero.

Carl's a mess.

Like, poor K. And it's like, Carl, you were very much like on your way out. Like, you weren't asked to be a part of In the City. You're like not bringing that much anyway. So yeah, they all owe her a huge debt of gratitude aside from the people she actually hurt.

Yeah, but still, like, you could make the case, like, the pain of, oh, your man and your friend. But then they also say, like, they weren't that close with her in the offseason. There's, like, people saying that. So your man and your friend got together, but you are now set for life.

Yeah, it's kind of one of those, like, would you rather— would you rather your man and your— guys, seriously, answer, answer me this.

Would you rather— and your best coworker—

sorry, not your man. I got you, like, a very toxic history.

Your, your ex Crush?

No, your ex-boyfriend, current situation, shit, current crush, very toxic. Would you rather like just he goes, runs away with like a girl who you're really close with? I wouldn't say that's like your best friend in the whole world, but like someone you're really close with, you're a good coworker friend, good coworker friend who like you see out, not out of the office, but in exchange like you get fame and fortune. Like, what do you think?

Yeah, I mean, personally, I'm going fame and fortune. I don't even want the fame because I like have my head on straight, right? You know, right? Right.

And I could see that, like, that toxic situationship/ex-boyfriend cycle, like, it's not going to work out for me in the long run anyway, so I might as well cut my losses and become famous. Yeah, more famous.

Also, I was watching Ariana, a little bit of her on Watch What Happens Live. I don't know when she was there or why, but Andy was like saying, you know, how Sierra is getting like the Love Island, she's been Dancing with the Stars, like, have you given her any advice? And Ariana's like, she doesn't need advice, she's going to be amazing. But it must be like a little spooky for Ariana because like, yes, like, it's exciting that it's happening for someone else, but they're literally like following in her footsteps and it's giving like out to pasture.

It's giving the substance She's Demi Moore and Sierra is Margaret Qualley.

No, it's giving like expired.

Yeah, no, like there's a treadmill and it's like Ariana was going, now Sierra's coming.

Yeah. So it's like if she's doing all the same things Ariana's doing, that means Ariana wouldn't be doing those things anymore. Like if Sierra is doing After Sunset goes well, like what she's doing hosting.

Yeah. Like, and I do think they should mix up the hosts for Love Island. They do actually. This is like their 4th or 5th host. So yeah. So it's like, it's not all great, you know, but Ariana has to sit there and be like, I'm so happy.

I'm so proud. It's my girl. Of course.

Yeah.

But I'm just like, that's a little weird. Like, she's going to take your job. Absolutely. Your job's a—

your job's a— what's next, Chicago on Broadway?

Do you— I don't think she would.

I don't think she sings or dances. Like, I don't think she has—

but she's doing Dancing with the Stars.

Oh, oh, oh, wait.

So like, if she really impresses everyone—

but like, you can learn to dance. I don't think you can learn to sing. You can learn to sing better, but if you have no chops—

I don't know if she has no chops, but is it a really like vocal heavy role. Roxy.

The name on everybody's lips is gonna be Roxy.

I feel like you could do it because it's like, it's— yes, you have to sing, you have to just like be good at things. You don't have to like be incredible, and you have to sell tickets. It's more like the ticket-selling role.

You know, I was just watching, speaking of Chicago, a vlog from the actress Danielle Monet. She played Trina Vega in Victorious, and like one of her iconic lines from Victorious is like Chicago. Have you ever heard that audio? It's from Chicago the Musical. Turns out she was up for the role of Roxie and she lost it. She shared a whole vlog about how upset she was, but like, it was like this amazing process, you know, yada yada. But that would have been huge for like, for the millennial core. Yeah, Trina Vega actually playing Roxie when I think she like played Roxie in the Victorious adaptation at the Academy of Victorious, right? Right. Whatever school, Hollywood Arts.

That would be beautiful.

Um, we've actually a lot to do today because of course like we're launching a huge business. Like I said, Skinny Spritz available now exclusively at Target. Um, we have Dear Toasters, of course, we have stories. Um, I guess that was your TV recap because I did not watch the new Rory. I will, but it's also like I'm kind of feeling stressed because like tonight's also like the Knicks game and like—

and tonight's Summer House in the City.

I know, Ben was like making plans for us to go watch, but I don't think I can.

No, I'm stressed.

Like lots of content, and I also haven't even cracked open Rocker's Bell Burden.

Like, I'm telling you, I brought it to Florida with me. You're never reading Copper's Bell Burden.

I have to read Copper's Bell Burden Hayden Panettiere's memoir, and what was the third book? Oh, someone remind me. I had 3 books on my nightstand. Like, my emotional nightstand.

Do you think you added to your Goodreads?

Of course not. What was the third book I wanted to read?

Lena Dunham.

Oh yeah, I actually really do.

Coppersmell Burden.

This week I've taken on so much. I started Rowery off campus. I have now In the City. It's just a lot. Try being an influencer for a day. Try it.

Yeah, I don't know how I'm gonna watch all that TV tonight.

I know.

Like bedtime is just a bloodbath. It's an hours-long affair these days. So we'll see.

We'll see. We're doing our best.

Um, but we like actually have to watch Summer House finale and yeah, of course.

So like the Knicks game, like, sorry, I'll have to tell Ben, like, I can't.

Yeah. And Zach might have to take the lead on bedtime.

On bedtime. Do we get together and watch?

Or like the, the boys could get together, do bedtime together while watching games and watching the game. And actually the Nick watching the game with the boys. Like they could watch a little bit of the night. It's actually nice. It's cute.

Okay, we can go upstairs.

Yeah, we just head to the bedroom, you know, do our thing.

All right, well, I feel adequately prepared. If you feel adequately prepared—

I do feel adequately prepared for the Fast Five Stories that you do need to know.

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Our first story— today's stories are quite random, like a lot of programming news, I would say.

It's giving, it's giving Modern TV Guide.

Yeah, it is. So Ella Enchanted, Ella Enchanted TV series is in the works at Disney+ with Anne Hathaway producing. So a new series is in the work at Disney+. People confirms that they are in the early stages of developing a new TV series adaptation of Ella Enchanted based on the 1997 novel of the same name and the movie of the same name, which starred Anne Hathaway and came out in 2004.

I didn't realize it was based on a, based on a book loosely. I have a truth I need to share.

You never saw Ella Enchanted? You didn't like Ella?

I've never seen Ella Enchanted.

Oh, that was the truth.

Oh my God, everyone just gasped. Yeah, no, I've never seen it.

Like, I feel like it's always on.

It's definitely like an E! movie we love.

Uh-huh.

Um, I just— it just missed me. It's— and again, I'm confused with the Amy Adams one.

Enchanted.

Oh right, I've never seen that either. Isn't that crazy?

That movie's amazing.

Which is better?

Enchanted.

Like, you're obsessed with one of them. Which is it?

Enchanted.

Okay.

And James Marsden's in it.

You're kidding.

So good.

You know, James Marsden is like in the new season of Your Friends and Neighbors, and like we're learning more about his character, and he's like increasingly just like really fucking evil.

Oh, don't, don't.

And it's really crazy because like he never does evil.

No, but he's also in, um, that show that was like, oh my God, lightning in a bottle. But then Dead—

wait, Dead to Me. Dead to Me with Christina Applegate and Linda Cardellini.

Uh-huh.

Such a good fucking show. Did he play someone evil? He also played twins. Well, maybe one was good.

Yeah, yeah. So he has range.

And you know what, he just took too long to release that last season.

He's not just Corny Collins, but he is—

he was too good at Corny Collins because I'm like, Corny Collins is not an evil arms dealer.

But that's why he is good to play someone that you— is an unsuspecting— yes, evildoer.

Yes, yes.

But anyways, this is Ella Enchanted, which Anne Hathaway starred in the 2004 movie. It's about like a a 16-year-old who's cursed at birth to obey every command. And it's just like cutesy fairy tale.

Yeah, I feel like this is kind of a trend we're seeing, like we're prequeling and schmeequeling. And I don't wanna be a hater 'cause I haven't seen this and I don't know, and the L1 looks good, Prime Video. But just like bring back Carrie Diaries, you know, ahead of its time.

Yeah, no, this sounds good. Why is Anne Hathaway working so hard? Like—

Debt.

Broke?

Yeah, she's obviously in debt.

I feel like everyone in the stories today is broke because everybody is working so hard. Mm-hmm. And doing things that they do not need to do when they have a lovely living, they have families.

Are you talking about the Jonas Brothers?

I am talking about the Jonas Brothers, which we'll get to. But like for Anne Hathaway, seriously, like she's taking on so many movies right now, like great exciting projects, really classy stuff.

Yeah. Nothing bad.

She hasn't like gotten to the point where she's desperate and she's putting out bad shit. No, but like, why do you want to work so much? Like why? Yeah.

Couldn't be me, but I imagine like maybe she has, you know, a lot of family that she's supporting or like a gambling addiction. I don't know. Because she is doing a lot. And I think that like maybe she wants a plane or something, which—

yeah, just I would like to know that. So I like what her— what motivates Anne Hathaway to work this hard?

I worry about her because she's kind of fallen into the trope of like being beloved and then becoming hated because like it's just too much of a good thing and it's like a lot of exposure. Um, and she's kind of— she's not there yet, but she's doing a lot. And I do feel like when you're doing a lot and you're like so well-liked because people just are how they are, like you will become hated. And I can see her like falling down that rabbit hole again.

No, I don't think— it won't happen again. It won't happen like that. That's kind of like Taylor, you know, like Taylor's never going to get to that place again because she's Ascend it. Mm-hmm. Like, but when you do burn bright and fast, really quickly, it fizzles.

Yeah.

Same with like Jennifer Lawrence. That happened too. Like everybody loved her. Mm-hmm. And then like they, everyone like thought it was cool to hate her. And then you get to like a place of just like stability.

Stability.

Yeah. Yeah. So I don't think she's gonna have it down again, especially cuz she keeps making quality work and it seems like the world has come to appreciate her.

Well, as long as she doesn't cut her hair, like that's really what the whole thing was. She was so artsy because she didn't burn bright and fast. She actually like really worked. Yes, from Princess of Genovia and then she all the way up to Les Mis at the Oscars. She cut her hair and it's like we could only take so much from celebrities. Like, you know, you're giving your speeches and it's just out of touch, whatever, and you also have a bad haircut. She's now— I think a lot of her, um, like buzz and why people love her is like her fits. Like she's kind of a fashion icon, like out of left field. And she needs to keep up with that.

It's not as like flashy as a young person. Like, yeah, it's kind of nice. It comes with age. It's just like a respect. And you don't turn on respect, you know?

Absolutely.

So I feel like that's also what's happening to Taylor, cuz she also got that like, oh, her award show speeches are so phony, blah blah blah. Why do you still think like you're— you're shocked to win everything? Like, it's like— that's how Anne Hathaway was sort of being. I guess people don't like that.

Use— remember when she took her Oscar and she says, I will use this as a weapon to fight self-doubt? It's like, girl, get out of here.

Maybe it's the self-doubt that keeps her working so hard. Maybe, but she is doing a lot, and this is like producing, you know, it's not even acting.

Well, she had to— if they were going to do it, they had to like get her stamp of approval. Like, it's kind of how Reese is, but she's Hello Sunshine. Like, she's actually making it. I think maybe Anne Hathaway is doing more than just making an in-name-only producer.

No, I think that actually is good credit to the film because it's like, even if she doesn't do anything, never shows up for one day, it's like, and she's a producer, like, it feels feels like an extension of the movie that was so loved.

Absolutely.

Okay, fine. So maybe she's just cashing a check here.

Yeah, yeah, which we love to see women in business.

Yes. Okay, I just, you know, I worry about her.

Where is it, um, gonna be?

Disney Plus.

Oh, of course. Of course, of course. I like that. Yeah, Disney Plus doesn't have like a lot of— going home doesn't have like a lot of shows. Like, what do you watch on Disney Plus? Like, you watch stuff for your kids and like National Geographic. Yeah, but it's like, oh, do you see the new Disney Plus show? No, I guess they put it all on Hulu.

Yeah, right. Yeah, yeah. Are you ready for our next story? Some other people that like want to keep working and don't want to go home. The Jonas Brothers are starting a podcast called Hey Jonas, and it's available now.

This is really crazy to me, and I don't know why I keep letting the Jonas Brothers surprise me. I don't know if the Jonas Brothers know how famous they are because they're always doing things that are incongruous with their level of celebrity. Like, this is a band that sold out multiple nights at MetLife Stadium. Like, that's what Taylor Swift does. That's what Ed Sheeran does. That's what Coldplay And it's like, they don't also do JonasCon.

Well, they don't have to split it in 3 ways.

So I do think a lot of what we see from the bros is the fact that they have to split it 3 ways. And I do—

so they need 3 jobs to make one whole income.

Correct. And they both have families. Like they, they spend a lot.

Uh-huh.

But they all do like other side ventures. Like Nick has tequila, coffee, popcorn.

Like Nick has a solo career. I keep listening to his music in my car. Yeah.

I feel like everybody's obsessed with like Bruno Mars's Debt. Debt. And it's like, well, really, I'm not worried about Bruno Mars. He is the biggest artist in the world, like on a global scale. I actually am worried about the Jonas Brothers. This is very lowbrow. It's a recession indicator. It's on iHeartRadio. So like I get the musical element, but I don't know. It's, it's really, it's worrisome.

Well, I wanna say there's two ways this podcast could be. There could be like, you know, this is cash grab. It's iHeartRadio.

It's like not like a serious show, but iHeartRadio is also a legitimately bankrupt company. And I just wanna say they're not— we, when we were out to market, like with our show. Like, iHeartRadio was like making offers way less than everybody else. Like, they're broke.

Yeah.

So I don't think that they're like, like, they've been getting like an insane deal.

So, but just listen, if they were at SiriusXM— two ways that this could be going.

I just want to say they should have done this at SiriusXM because it would have been less—

not even about the payday, because if you have an audience, you will have money. And also maybe they want to be in good standing with iHeart because they run the radio stations, they need radio for their music career. So like, it's all—

that's what people do who are like seriously one year in the industry.

Listen, So either this is like a fake show on iHeartRadio where they like just do like pre-recorded, like pre-recorded, like nonsense and like games and stupid shit. And like nobody's really listening, but think about it for a second. If it were like an actually good show, like, mm-hmm. And serious. And like they talk about like fatherhood, they have on, of course, guests, they get like introspective. They talk about brotherhood and family, family and history. It could be like Armchair Expert. Yeah.

I don't know why the—

but I don't know which one they're going for.

And I don't know why. I just don't feel like shows like that are capable of being made when they're at iHeartRadio. I know that sounds really crazy, but it's all just like kind of corny, buzzy, like filler for the radio.

Yeah. Aren't, um, La— Kulch on, um, iHeartRadio? Las Kulch?

I was like, Kulch?

Las Kulch.

What is she talking about? Las Kulch. Yes. And I do feel like that's why they're so popular, because they're so different. Like, they're act— they are good.

Like, they— I was listening to the radio Oh, when I was in Dallas and I didn't know how to put on music, so I just— I, and I was like scared driving, so I just like stayed on the radio. Claudia, my commute was 25 minutes. I didn't hear one song, but let me tell you, I heard 4 advertisements for Las Cult Podcast. Right.

That's what I'm saying. It's a broke company. Like they just do commercials. Yeah. So, um, I do think that they're like the darlings of iHeartRadio and I do think they're an extremely popular podcast and I wasn't talking about them. Sorry, I didn't realize that they were there. This is not me being shady to anyone.

I'm saying like maybe they could It's possible. It's possible to have success there. And yeah, and there's obviously, they could go anywhere, Las Colch.

Yeah.

There's something that keeps them there.

Right, right, right.

Something.

That's true.

Maybe it's all those commercials they're getting.

I mean, I could use a commercial. Yeah.

Yeah. No, there was 4 commercials an hour telling like relevant listeners to listen to the toast. I think that moves the needle.

Yeah, for sure. No, no. And I get like the radio aspect of it, but it just feels incongruous with their level of celebrity.

But I do feel like at their level of celebrity, they could actually have a very successful introspective.

You know, when they The thing about podcasts is that when done right, even by celebrities, it's career-changing if you have a really good one.

So, but I don't know if they're doing this with the intention— are they doing this with the intention of making it really good? I don't know. Or is it just like to check a box?

Give me a list of celebrities who you think are on the same level of fame as the Jonas Brothers.

Also, I want to pull— the podcast is available now. Like, I want to see what the description is. What are we doing here at Hey Jonas?

Okay, I just want to say that like the list of people that chat gave me, like, they should have podcasts. 5 Seconds of Summer, I feel like that's insulting to the Jonas Brothers. The Chainsmokers, I also feel like that's insulting to the Jonas Brothers. Dan and Shay, I also feel like— like, I feel like chat actually thinks very lowly of—

or we just think like a little higher than gen pop. Then gen pop—

no, I'm telling you, the Jonas Brothers, maybe like—

are they—

are the Jonas Brothers like not cool or famous? Like, am I—

do I have a skewed We definitely are more into the Jonas Brothers than gen pop.

Really? I feel like—

but that doesn't—

people who are like Jonas—

because you're meeting your fellow people like you.

But I'm not even like Jonas Cronus. What do they call themselves? Like, Jonistas?

I don't know. Here's the description. Hey Jonas, hosted by Kevin, Joe, and Nick. It's the Jonas Brothers you know— musicians, actors, and, well, yes, brothers. Now they're sharing another side of themselves in the playful, intimate, and irreverent way only they can. Spend time with the Jonas Brothers here and stay a little bit longer for deep conversations like never before. Okay, deep conversations.

What's the first episode?

Uh, it's a—

oh, there's just a trailer.

There's a trailer and then there's a 13-minute episode.

What is the description of the first episode?

This is Hey Jonas. Join Kevin, Joe—

okay, the same thing.

Let's just— can we listen to like a minute?

I feel like it's gonna be really produced. Like, getting to a great idea is hard. Excuse me, we have our own ads. Get out of here.

Yeah.

Oh my God. They're not reading their own ads. How many minutes of ads?

So how did we, how did we actually come up with the name Hey Jonas, guys?

Brilliant question.

I think it was on a call about what we should call it, and we were thinking of originally calling it one of the early names of our band before Jonas Brothers. This is how you guys remember it going down? Yes. I have a very different memory of this.

Rico hosts a lot.

Sons of Jonas. It had nothing to do with Jonas. I don't think you're, I don't think you're right at all.

We were talking about a thing, talking over each other, and say, hey Jonas.

And then I wrote down on my little notepad, hey Jonas, and offered it up as a potential title.

He's taking credit. He's taking credit. They have a really toxic relationship.

Well, thanks Nick. Mine was just a little bit more exciting. It was an elaborate story. So, so really, this— I don't get any extra credit, you know. Financial or podcast points.

I just want to say I would love to just sit here and listen to another podcast on our podcast.

Yeah, I know, I know.

And call it a podcast.

Yeah, right.

Is that a thing? All right. I feel like everyone in the world had a podcast, so we just felt left out. So we needed—

honest—

we needed the money.

Well, I was thinking more that we had a lot of really important things to talk about. That's true. You know, we don't spend enough time with each other as it is, so why not just fill the space between soundcheck and the show with a podcast where we have to be together in a closed environment.

They're optimizing their schedule.

Habit stacking.

Habit stacking. I mean, why not make a couple grand in this hour when we're just sitting here taking a poop?

Because a couple grand split 3 ways after taxes and commissions is $3.

Even more. No, it's a great— it's a good idea. We should, should definitely do it.

Pull a question from the bowl.

Anticipatory.

That's low. Anticipatory.

All right, let's get a question. Therapist says, Joe's idea. I love this idea. Just do random questions that have nothing to do with—

and I'm sorry, 3 people is too many for a podcast. I'll take it.

Nick?

Okay. No, I think it's Nick. We could all answer it too. Maybe not.

No, I think we could all—

we don't know what's in the bowl. It's great.

Nick, this is for you.

Nick, do you pee in the shower? Oh yes, I do. I love—

and that's so mean.

So it's the first kind of podcast.

Yeah, well, the thing is, I will give them grace. The first episode of The Toast was a shit show. Like I'm like, you have to give grace. It takes people a couple of episodes to get on their feet. I'm worried about 3 people, especially 3 people who I feel like struggle with who's the leader, who's the middle. Like, and I think Nick thinks it's him, and I think that Joe thinks it's him, and I think Kevin thinks it's Joe.

But I also feel like Kevin might be feeling like, this is my time to shine, I'm the smart one, I'm the one— the fans are grown up, the fans like me, I'm a father, I'm the one who like makes good choices and is selfless, puts the baby You two are like rockstar egos, but like when it comes to a podcast, you want to hear from the Kevin. It's with the life advice.

It's very true.

So maybe he's also going to be like talking over everyone because he thinks this is his time.

Now Kevin is saying, me, he doesn't sing but he can talk. I'm worried about them. I still am worried about them after hearing the first episode.

But I just feel like knowing that the first question from the bull is, do you pee in the shower, confirmed it's the first type of podcast.

It's not deep content.

It's not the second type.

Yeah, they're not opening up a vein and bleeding out.

But I mean, also, why do that on the first episode? Like, if you, you don't even know if it's gonna be a success.

Like, right, right.

I feel like give it time. It's not the worst idea. It's not the worst nominees for a podcast. It's really not.

No, it's not. But I'm worried about them.

And if the concept indicator, if the, if it, if the concept is that we have an hour between soundcheck and the show and like they're just sitting there to like talking and like shooting the shit, what they would be doing, and now we're gonna like record it and make money from it. I think that's actually works.

I do think the live shows will suffer. Like doing a podcast, people think it's nothing. Like, I'm sorry, you have to— like, when I get done here, I can take a nap. Like, you really— you're supposed to give— if you're going to do it right, you give it all. Like, you can't actually— that is the performance, you know? I think that their tour will suffer.

Interesting.

Yeah. And I will say one thing about them that, you know, that you really cannot knock them for is that they are amazing performers. Like, what they will always have— they should tour forever because maybe other financial— I don't know if their new music streams the way it used to, but they will— they have a really big fan base and they can tour forever and like make a living from it.

They should do Vegas residencies.

I believe that they did. I believe it was enormously popular because like their clientele would go to Vegas.

That way they could like put their kids in school in Nevada.

No, I mean a lot of people live in LA.

Oh, and go out to Vegas on the weekend, trying to keep them home, you know.

That's what Adele did. She was like, when I went to her show, she was talking about how like this is the most amazing work-life balance she's ever had because she's in LA all weekend and she— I think, you know, Caesar sends a jet. She jets back and forth every, every weekend.

Yeah. Well, no, I meant like if they got houses.

Oh, they have a Vegas residency that starts tomorrow. Cool.

Okay, so we're on the same page.

Oh, so maybe it's like a Vegas residency podcast. They didn't make that clear.

And maybe the Vegas residency is like sponsored by iHeartRadio. But no, what I was saying is like they could get houses in Nevada. They could live there.

Not everyone wants to do that. Britney Spears did that. I think when you have a residency where you actually perform on the weekdays, like Donny and Marie— I know, you're right, because Adele was Weekends with Adele.

I think, and it was a short stint. I'm saying for 20 years, the Jonas brothers should live in Nevada, put their kids in school, Vegas every night.

But when you do that, you have to be okay with like, you're now entering like a season of retirement almost. And I think that some of the egos in that group— Nick is so not down. Nick loves like SNL and like, you know, being like swirly.

Yeah, well, I think that it's—

and Joe is single now. Like, they're not doing that. I mean, Kevin would do it. That's our stable king right there.

No, but his— he, he has deep roots like where he lives in Jersey. Yeah. Are you ready for our next story, which is some more music news? Mm-hmm. And I'm glad that people are talking about it because Spotify said—

Oh my God, this is fucking disgraceful. And I'm sorry, as partners of Spotify, I love you, but undo what you've done.

So they say their disco ball icon, which prompted massive user backlash, will go away next week as planned.

Okay. So I assumed that it was like a 50th anniversary.

No, I'm sorry. Every time I saw that logo, I thought Spotify was downloading on my phone.

Yes, of course.

And I'm like, why don't I have Spotify?

Not only that, but I assumed—

I feel like people haven't even noticed they like, now when we're talking about it, they'll be like, yeah, I saw that. But they didn't even like realize what was happening. I literally had to like get out my magnifying glass to see what the new icon is. And it's like a disco ball, Spotify green ball.

So I also thought it was downloading, and then I saw it was like a special edition logo, and I said, oh, this didn't pass like a user experience test. But I'm like, I'm sure it's some anniversary and will be done tomorrow. And it's been like 5 days. Far too long for such a poorly constructed logo. I feel like I know nothing about graphic design. I am not, you know, proficient in Photoshop. And this— and you know how many people it took to get this made, approved, launched. Not one of them said, you know, this is bad.

I, I, I didn't know that this was happening. I thought maybe like it only happened to me.

What's it in celebration of?

Hate has rained down on Spotify's 20th birthday party celebratory disco ball icon. The streamer acknowledged the backlash and said the old 2D logo will return to users' photos phones next week as previously planned under the temporary icon switchout. So they're saying it was always gonna be changed back. It's not just cuz everybody hates us.

Mm-hmm. Sure.

Without warning last week, they debuted the glowing green mirror ball icon for the mobile app on Apple's iOS. It was meant to be a fun celebration of the first 20 years connected with Spotify 20. iOS or iOS?

I've never heard anyone say iOS.

I read what I saw.

Cool.

I like that. Like I see iOS.

That's like Hooked on Phonics. It's Hooked on Jonics. Like you just are living in your own world.

1000%.

And I love that.

What did I say? iOS?

Yeah. I feel like everybody says iOS, like when you update to the new iOS, not the new iOS.

Oh, you guys are living in the past. I'm in the future.

Absolutely.

Uh, Spotify appears to not have expected this intense reaction from many of its users about the appearance of the disco ball, with many slamming it as a visual abomination.

Yes. It's a disgrace.

One person said the person who designed this logo should be fired.

Absolutely. By the way, like the, like you, that this is definition of being bad at your job.

Yeah. Yeah. And then Spotify said, we know glitter is not for everyone. It's not about the glitter. Oh.

Oh my God. Gaslighters. That's honestly, I'm living for the statement. They said, I know you guys are ugly and don't have taste, so we'll change it.

Our temp glow up ends soon. Your regularly scheduled Spotify icon returns next week. Whether that was always the plan or not, they're acting like this was exactly how they wanted it to go.

Next week. I'm sorry, we can't wait that long. And let me tell you, it's everywhere. 'Cause I logged into CarPlay and even on the CarPlay, it's the disco ball. It looks better there than on the phone 'cause it's bigger.

Uh-huh.

But it's still so bad. And Ben was like, what's that? I'm like, I can't even talk about it.

On it. I had no idea that— I'm so glad that we're talking about it and like that we're just like shedding light on this national issue.

Disgrace.

It's outrage.

Yeah.

Um, I'm glad that they know that we hate it.

Yeah, despise.

I love being a Spotify partner.

Love. But this doesn't change the fact, like, I have to be honest, it's ugly. Go back.

And it's confusing. Worse than ugly, like, it's confusing. We didn't know it was your birthday.

We rely on you so much. Our favorite podcast, all of our favorite music. I listen to— I use Spotify like 20,000 times a day for Foo, for me, for work. Like, and I'm sorry, the user experience was temporarily sidelined. Fix it. Go back.

I wonder if it harmed our numbers cuz people thought like their Spotify was downloading.

Let's check our analytics for this week. 100%. Okay, cut me my check, Spotify.

So all will be right next week.

All will be right next week. My life begins next week.

Are you ready for our next story, which is your genuine nightmare?

Oh no, what?

So Ryan Gosling was fired from The Lovely Bones movie after gaining 60 pounds for the role.

Wait, not only is that my personal nightmare, who was he supposed to play? The dad?

The dad.

You know what, Mark Wahlberg like did always feel sort of strangely cast, and I guess it was like a last minute thing, but why? The dad being fat has like nothing to do— why would he have to gain 60 pounds? He's literally just a suburban dad. And I just want to say, Mark Wahlberg like wasn't even fat in the movie, so it's not a role that required him to be fat. This is what I mean when I say like actors are so drama.

No, imagine gaining 60 pounds for the job that you got and then not having the So why did he— so Peter Jackson, the director of Lovely Bones—

and I'm glad that The Lovely Bones is still being talked about, it's the best movie ever.

He's speaking about it like at Cannes Film Festival.

As he should, like seriously, as he should.

Um, so he's finally weighing in on Ryan Gosling's infamous recasting in The Lovely Bones, which I didn't even know that was happening. He was supposed to play Suzy Ronan's dad.

Sir Suzy Ronan, like seriously, put some respect on The Lovely Bones' name. But Suzy, was that her name in the movie?

Suzy. Suzy Salmon. Salmon. Yes, but revealed—

Salmon. I can't with you. Like, Salmon Eos. What did you just pronounce weirdly?

Soirée.

Exactly.

Um, but Ryan Gosling revealed to Hollywood Reporter in 2010 that he was fired from the movie after he gained 60 pounds for the role without the director's consent.

Oh, okay, that's what I mean. So, yeah, like, why? You can't— when you get cast for something, unless they tell you, you can't change the way you look.

Like, no. No, but during a conversation in Cannes after receiving an honorary award, Peter Jackson was asked about Ryan's revelation and spoke candidly about the decision to drop him from the movie.

I just want to say, the reporter who like— this guy's getting like a lifetime achievement award and they ask him about this like random movie from 20 years ago— that reporter is a listener.

Pulitzer.

Yeah, Pulitzer. That's the type of shit we need to hear about.

Yeah, like so random.

I love it.

He said, I won't talk about any particular examples of actors because because it's, it's a personal, private thing and it's not their fault. Yeah, anytime we, we recast an actor, it's actually our fault because we didn't get the casting right and we cast the wrong person for a role. It's not because they did anything wrong, so I'm not going to talk about individuals, but you just got to realize that what you're imagining isn't really quite happening, which means that we got it wrong. And so we take full responsibility. He said Ryan is a fantastic actor. As we know, films are chemistry, both on camera and behind the camera. Their chemistry in terms of what the actor conveys to the audience of the film, it's just a complicated sort of amalgam of communication of how somebody gets into gels into a group of people, into a story, into a character. It's complicated, and usually you try very hard when you're planning the film, casting it, trying to get that gel kind of right. But occasionally we make our own mistakes.

Like, this is where I find like people in cinema to be so obnoxious. Like, it's very complicated. Like, you couldn't understand. It's like, it's literally like a movie.

Yeah, you're pretending.

Yeah, right. But okay, you're all just like a bunch of pretenders and we don't get it. Okay.

Ryan had said in 2010 that we had a different idea of how the character should look. I really believed he should be 210 pounds.

Why?

We didn't talk very much during the pre-production process, which was the problem. It was—

Yeah, you can't go rogue and just change the character.

No, like, gain 60 pounds because you believe he was fat.

That he was sorry? Like, and in the book, Olivia read the book. I never read the book.

I read the book.

Was he fat? Like—

That was so, like, not the story.

Right, like, but maybe he couldn't, like, save his daughter 'cause he— I don't know.

Um, he said it was a huge movie and there's so many things to deal with and he couldn't deal with the actors individually. I just showed up on set and I had gotten it wrong that I was fat and unemployed.

Literally me. Um, obsessed.

Oh my God, it's funny. Swarzy Ronan on a podcast in 2024 spoke about it.

No, I'm telling you, if you've seen the movie, it's like all these insanely talented serious actors and then Mark Wahlberg. Like, it makes no sense. Who plays her mom?

He— Swarzy said that the cast had already done some prep by the time Ryan got fired, and she had bonded with Ryan. I'm sad to see him Of course.

I mean, who wouldn't want to work with Mr. Gosling?

No, and also she was so young, you know?

Yeah.

So like, that's a bummer, but I'm sure Mark Wahlberg was fantastic. I had no idea this movie had so much drama behind it.

Oh, Rachel Weisz, she plays the mother. She's such a— I'm telling you, it's such serious— Susan Sarandon, Stanley Tucci, Michael Imperioli from The Sopranos. Like, I'm telling you, Saoirse Ronan.

Saoirse, who went on to be like the biggest thing.

It's such a— A.G. Michalka?

Classic.

She must be like one of the friends from school.

Give her flowers.

And then like Mark Wahlberg, he must have been really trying to do, um, like serious work at the time. Oh yeah, Michael Imperioli is like the detective who figures it out.

But I, I watched some clips of Lovely Bones on Instagram.

Me too, I see them all the time. It's one of those—

and I've seen the scene of like Mark Wahlberg, you know, like poking around the backyard. Yeah, chilling stuff.

Have you seen the scene of the sister up in Stanley Tucci's attic and she like drops the floorboard and he hears it and she runs out the window?

Yep. Yes, I have. And I didn't find Mark Wahlberg to be like, I mean, he had like a pair of balls sticking out like a sore thumb.

No, no, no. But if you like, like, it's just, he did a good job at the job, but like us knowing, it's, it's like weird if you know, I guess. Yeah. He was like outta character.

It was just weird.

Maybe at that time he was trying to be taken as like seriously as a serious actor.

Yeah. And then he was like, this pays no, no bones, right?

Back to Ted 3. Okay.

Are you ready for our fifth and final?

If it's our fifth and final, that's brought to you by Poshmark, one of our newer sponsors, but not a new, a company that we're not, you know, familiar, familiar, very familiar. So if you have a running list of pieces you've been hunting for forever, or you're just the type of person who likes like more— not like other girls, you know, more unique, creative pieces for your home or your fashion. Well, I highly recommend checking out Poshmark. So Poshmark is the leading fashion resale marketplace. It's shaped by real people in real style. Millions of new and pre-loved items from daily wardrobe staples to vintage luxury fashion. They have archive-worthy pieces that you thought you might have missed forever. Current essentials, one-of-one vintage finds. It's all there. So I'm always buying like regular stuff. Like, I just got like cute stuff for my apartment. I bought like a Jonathan Adler tray. But when I'm looking for something really specific, it's almost always on Poshmark. When I dressed up as Fran Drescher for my iconic like 2023 costume, I needed this like a really Fran blazer, and they had— someone was selling it on Poshmark, and it was iconic.

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You're not building a personality for an app, you already have one, and it'd be great if there was an app that could just like let your personality shine through. So we really like Hily dating app. First of all, it stands for hey like you, which is just a healthy, more direct, um, approach and starting point. What we like about Hily dating app is that it's for people who are done pretending. You're not trying to be a perfect or mysterious version, you're just showing up as yourself, which sounds simple, but it's actually kind of revolutionary in the world of dating apps. Plus, it's clearly working. Hily dating app has over 42 million downloads, hundreds of thousands of active users every single month, and millions of matches every year. It's even one of the top 5 dating apps in the US App Store. So the features are very smart. Their algorithm learns what you're into based on preferences, who you like, who you skip, so your matches just get better over time and it gets smarter as you use it. There's also Iks and Kliks, which is a compatibility check that goes deeper than just photos. And also they have a Major Crush feature where you can make the first move in a very low-pressure kind of way.

Something we really appreciate about Hily is that the Hily dating app also has Consent Guard, which blocks you from getting unsolicited inappropriate messages without consent immediately, as all dating apps should, but alas, they do not. So if you're over the whole perfection game and you just want something real, this feels like a much more normal way to date. Download the Hily dating app from the App Store or Google Play, or visit hily.com— that's hily.com— hily.com, and date as you are with the Hily dating app. Again, And that's the Hily dating app that you can download in the App Store or the Google Play Store, or visit their website, hily.com, hily.com, to date as you are with the Hily dating app. Today's episode of The Toast is also brought to you by Rollback. We talk about Rollback all the time because, like, we love wearing active dresses, we love wearing leggings, biker shorts, and I think that it's kind of a formula, if you will, for the perfect set of biker shorts, the perfect sports bra. You want compression, you don't want restriction, you want to be able to breathe, you want soft materials, but you also want to be able to be held in.

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So whether you're shopping for yourself, your man— don't sleep on the Roback men's stuff, it's really cute. Ben likes their golf stuff. Um, Um, Roback's just such a good place to start, and we have a great offer. Use code TOAST, T-O-A-S-T, on roback.com for 20% off your first order through the end of this week. That's roback, R-H-O-B-A-C-K.com. Our code is TOAST to get 20% off your first order through the end of this week. Today's episode is also brought to you by Ladder. So if you've ever walked around a gym, or not even gone to the gym because you're so nervous, like you don't know what to do, or if you've gone to the gym and just like pushed some buttons on a machine and you just like feel awkward because you're not a personal trainer and you're not an expert in fitness and you just feel like embarrassed. We've all been there. Um, Ladder and the Ladder app is going to change how you work out. So it's an expert strength training plan. It's not a content library. They're not like influencer workouts or different challenges. It's progressive programming that's designed by certified coaches where you get a new plan every week and it builds on the previous week.

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Our fifth and final story is a little more movie news. Gwyneth Paltrow's daughter Apple Martin is making her movie debut in a Nancy Meyers film. So a lot of exciting bits here.

The more exciting part is that we're getting a Nancy Meyers film.

Nancy Meyers film coming out in like 2027. Okay, in theaters. It's—

oh, in theaters!

Working title is like Paris Paramount. It's actually a semi-autobiographical story of Nancy And we don't know what role Apple will play, but some of the other big names include Penélope Cruz, Kieran Culkin, Jude Law, Owen Wilson, Tony Hale, and Erin Doherty.

There's a couple of, um, repeats.

Nancy, read them again. Penélope Cruz, Kieran Culkin, Jude Law.

Jude Law has done Nancy Meyers: The Holiday. Owen Wilson.

Owen Wilson has probably— yeah, Tony Hale, I love him.

Buster. Buster Bluth. And also Do you think of him more as Buster or as Gary from Veep? I feel like these days I actually associate him more with Gary from Veep.

Yes, but he is so Buster. Like, I— the two come to mind.

Yeah, but he's so Buster. And also the name is like Buster Bluth.

The Buster is iconic, like the name when he like lost his hand. Yeah.

Um, well, this is exciting. A lot of pressure. I want to say like, not only is it a Nancy Meyers film, like it's— they're sort of cultural landmarks for— she doesn't make a movie that often. It's like, I feel like every maybe 5 or 10 years. So is it her first one since The Intern came out in 2015? 15. That's crazy. And so there's a lot of pressure. She's really the best movie ever. They're all the best movie ever. Like, she makes the best movies. So there's a lot of pressure because it's that. But also, like, her mom is Gwyneth Paltrow, like, literally one of the greatest actors.

I mean, and her grandma, Blythe Danner.

Yeah, like, I'm sorry, the pressure's on. Like, she better— she better get to work with it because it's like, she's gonna be amazing.

You think? It's in her blood.

Yeah, it's true. She's like— she comes from a line.

And also, just like, look at her. We could just look at her.

Yeah, no, no, like, I don't want to just look at her. Like, give me something.

She will. She's gonna be amazing. And the movie— this is the premise— the movie's is about a group of people making a film and the magic and mystery of what we do. So I think the working title at one point was called Paris Paramount, which I don't like, but I think it was like about the Paramount lot. Yeah. And like making a movie about Paris. Paris Paramount.

So it should be called like Paris at the Paramount, but I don't like it.

Yeah, no, they're not doing it.

Oh good.

Okay. That title, but like that's, so we know it's about like Paris Paramount. Paramount.

Owen Wilson just like can't stay away from movies about Paris.

Yeah, or maybe Paris can't stay away from him. That's beautiful. I love Owen Wilson. I love him too.

I really—

I love all of the Wilsons.

I love all of the Wilsons. Like, don't sleep on that— on Emmett. No, do not sleep on Emmett. Luke. Luke, the lesser-known but more handsome Wilson.

Yeah, no, they're both like— they're both so successful. Like, we need to talk to their I agree.

They had, they were raised by a great woman. Absolutely.

We should also start a podcast where we talk to the, the mothers of great people. The, and not just like people, but like siblings, you know? Yeah. Like the Jonas Brothers' mother. She's definitely, but she definitely has her hands full with them. Absolutely. Breaking up fights in the dressing room. They're probably always tattletaling on each other. Always. But like, I would love to talk to her. That actually would be a great, of course, Donna Kelce.

It actually would be a great podcast. Better than Namesake, I wanna say. So I think we would call it.

Just mother.

Wait, that's like actually really good.

Don't steal it, you guys. Let us do it, okay, in our own time. We have a lot going on right now, but like one day we're gonna have like time back, you know?

Yeah, it's like when you read that book about Winston Churchill's mother, Jenny. Like, it's obviously interesting to read about a great man, but what's more even interesting is to read about their mother. Yeah, yeah. But sometimes great men are born from like evil mothers too. Of course, of course. So, but we won't have the evil ones on.

No, no, but I am also interested in And like mothers of multiple greats. I mean, Andrea Swift is our first like dream guest, but mothers of multiple greats. Well, yeah, but also mothers of greats. Of greats. Yes. But I like, it's, you did it like more than once. Yeah. Yeah. You did it more than once. The Wilson mother. So it's not just the child was incredible. It's like your act, you are the common denominator. The Culkin mom. The Culkin mom. The Hughes brothers' mother. Of course. The hockey. Yeah. She's a hockey player herself. Yeah. I love it. It. Yeah, it's a good idea. I feel like someone's going to steal it. Don't—

well, we have proof, like, that we came up with it also.

But I guess, like, if someone stole it, it would mean, like, I'm getting the content I wanted without having to lift a finger, and I'm getting the interviews, you know, and the insights.

Yeah. Meryl Streep, she's got a couple of nepo kids.

I feel like I'm okay, but no.

Yeah, cuz she's, like, the famous person.

We'd have to talk to her mother. She has nepo kids. That's different. That's different. That's different than creating great greatness from nothing.

Let's dive into Dear Toasters, our weekly advice segment where every Tuesday Jackie and I try to get back to our community and help out the girls in need. Write into us if you're dealing with anything, deartoasters@gmail.com, or head over to our website thetoastpodcast.com. Today we have two submissions and actually an update from last week. So let's start with the submissions. Hey Jackson Turd, I have a huge problem and I don't think you're gonna believe me. My boyfriend and I have been talking about marriage for a while, but I— but we recently started to seriously discuss engagement, what I would like, what type of ring I want. While having one of the conversations the other day, my boyfriend dropped a bomb me. There are two things that I have to agree with before he can even ask me to marry him. My boyfriend comes from generational wealth. The men of his family have been lawyers, judges, some are even politicians. It's almost like being around a royal family. One of the stipulations is signing a prenup, which I have no problem with, but the second thing shocked me. I have to go to their family doctor and get a whole body checkup.

I mean, blood work for genetic testing, extensive family medical history questionnaire, even a psychological evaluation. I was completely unaware that this sort of thing happened in 2026. Is this normal or am I crazy? I don't know if I should marry this man.

Ooh, I don't like the psych eval.

I don't like that this is with their doctor. Like, if you can go to your own doctor and get all the paperwork— look, I'm not crazy, I don't have, you know, any diseases— fine. But like, it being their doctor and they having like your blood, like, I don't know what they're gonna do, clone you?

Or like, if things go south with you guys down the line, they'll like use psych eval and like they can say whatever they— they can have their doctor evaluate you however they want to be like, this woman's crazy, she shouldn't have custody.

2025. Yeah, she shouldn't have Like, oh, Jackie's right.

So like, I actually think the idea of getting like, you know, a workup with a future partner, like, it's so crazy. But like, I can understand that. It's like good to know each other's like health, right? But I don't like it with their doctor, and I don't like the psych eval.

So I would, I would push back, would push back on the psych eval and be like, I'm happy to do all this with my physician, he's a great guy, or like a third party physician, but not with yours. Yeah, let's say it's like a non-negotiable, like we—

that's really scary. Then you really have to be aware of what you're signing up for. And I do really think that will be like, if things go south ever, it will all be used against you. Yeah. And but it's like, or would you want to be single, right? Or like marry someone poor, or like, or marry into this like wealth. But like if you married into like the royal family, say, like I'm sure there's a lot of crazy shit like that. Absolutely. So like, do you want this life or you do not want this life?

Think about your future, children.

And these lives don't come for free, you know. Absolutely not. There's no such thing as like a free ride.

Yeah, and if there was, I would have found it.

I would push back and just push for your own doctors. Yeah, without the— and I feel like that's reason— that's actually like very giving of you because you're, you're agreeing to everything.

And if they say no, like, that's a red flag for them. Like, I— what's the point? Like, why does it matter whose doctor it is? That means they're fudging with the—

and I really don't like a psych eval. I don't know why, it just gives me the willies. Are you like—

what have you done? They're all so fraudulent because they like give fake ones to everybody who goes on reality TV.

Crazy people. People, right? Psychopath, right? Who have done crazy things. Yeah. To prove that they're not crazy. Yeah. Like, you're just a sweet girl who wants to marry their son. I would, I would push back on that.

I didn't know stuff like that was happening, much like Cynthia Rivera.

It's kind of exciting.

Yeah, it is, it is. But like, girl, protect yourself. Yeah. But it is, it has potential to be exciting.

And I would also talk to a lawyer.

Yes, yes.

You have to get one for the prenup anyway, but I would ask, like, try and find a good lawyer.

Don't cheap out.

Explain to you, like, what all of this could mean for you one day. Both positive and negative. And also, if you're gonna sign a prenup, make it good for you as well. Like, you know, it's not just gonna be like, you get nothing, you're out on your ear, bye loser. Yeah. Like, you can get stuff in a prenup. Yeah, absolutely. So get a good lawyer. Yes.

And don't do anything without like lawyers present.

Copper spell burden. Don't go against legal advice.

Oh, I don't know what that means. I'll find out soon.

Copper spell burden. All right, next up.

Hey, Swirlies, my best friend from out of town came to stay with my boyfriend and I this weekend and brought her new Prada bag. When we get to the house, she throws her stuff on the ground. We go on a house tour. Door. No more than 3 minutes later, and what do we find? A few puncture marks in her Prada bag from our, from our cat. I do want to preface, this is my boyfriend's cat, and I've always hated it because it ruins plenty of things of mine. But needless to say, I was so pissed at this damn cat, and obviously I felt horrible for my friend. A few days later, a few days after she left, she told me there's nothing Prada can do to help the repair, and all they did was send her to a cobbler in New Jersey to try. She didn't seem happy with that option and felt that there was an expectation for us to replace the $4,000 bag. I do want to take some responsibility because it happened at my house, but honestly was careless of left on the floor. Even if my boyfriend and I split this expense, I don't think his cat's damages are my responsibility, but I also don't want to leave him with this hefty bill.

What's the right call here? Love, a Swirly that would rather spend $4,000 on her own Prada bag.

So this is very awkward. It's terrible. It's very bad. And there's no right thing to do because if you replace the bag, like, you're a schmuck. You just bought her a $4,000 bag when she has a fine bag, but like, you fucked it up with the stupid cat.

I don't know, throwing it on the floor, like, that's an important part of the story. If it was up on a table, like, absolutely, you kind of have to replace the bag, but like throwing it on the floor—

you should be able to put your bag on the floor in someone's house without it like being— yeah, no, you should— especially if you know, like, they don't have kids. Like, it's not a wild animal. Like, it's a cat. Like, yeah.

Um, well, how much does this friendship mean to you, honestly?

And also, if, um, if you do buy her a new bag, which I'm not saying that you shouldn't— I actually don't think that you should— you should get the old one, and, and then you have a little—

oh yeah, She doesn't get to— you get a little banged up Prada bag.

I really don't know. Yeah, I don't know the dynamics of the friendship.

If this happened— how poorly beat up is the bag? Not usable? Punctured, right?

A couple of little holes. Like, what's the texture of a bag? Is it rattan that could withstand? Is it leather? Yeah, yeah.

Um, no, I don't think you need to buy her a whole ass new bag.

Like, say this happened to you. You, like your friend.

Okay, is it, um, is it my bag or it's my house?

It's your house, and Romeo punctured your friend's new Prada bag.

I would buy them a new bag, but my financial circumstances allow me to do that. Not everyone's to. Yeah, it would kill me. Not very cardboard. But also, who's the person?

It depends how much I love this friend.

I know, and like, I do already hate Romeo, so like, yeah, like, yeah. The thing is, you have to evaluate the friendship to.

Yeah, like if you're okay with a little awkwardness and like, it's like she's always gonna like—

she came to stay with you and your boyfriend, like you're close.

Yeah, she's always gonna be mad at you for this. Then you have to fix it if you can. It sounds like you can afford to, but you just don't really know if you should, right?

Like, is it on you?

And it's like, yeah, and you're— but also your boyfriend should pay for it.

Oh wait, I'm sorry, it's not your cat. 1,000%, your boyfriend has to pay for it.

But like, what if he won't and now you're stuck with like your friend chipping your punctured back?

I don't know, boyfriend who like buy a Prada bag and has a cat doesn't sound like a good boyfriend. Does he have a cat? Let's talk about that. What grown man has a cat alone?

It's so creepy. Good. Okay, I was like, oh God, now here I am insulting everyone. Oh yeah, that was like—

that's like one time in Nashville. I'm trying to say I was really young, but we like rented, um, we like hired this local crew. We didn't know anyone there.

We were doing our show, and so we like— we did our show in Nashville, so we hired like randos and I was—

I forget how it came up. We were talking about journaling. It might have even been Dear Toasters. And just, oh yeah, she was talking about how she read her guy's journal and it said mean things about her, can maybe be mad. And Jackie was like, no, you can't be mad when you read someone's journal, like it's their thoughts. And then I was also like, but also, who the fuck journals? Like, what guy journals? I was like, that's gay, or whatever. And literally the guy behind the camera was like, I journal. And I was like, okay. I was like, that's— I didn't ask, but okay. Journaling is so evolved. No, I think actually I was like, I mean, guys, do you journal? And one of them was like, yeah.

Like, I asked. But how do you feel about it now? It's definitely like a mature introspective thing to do. It really is. It's like so—

but I just feel like if you're journaling, like, you're not making money. And if you're a man, like, that's your job. So why don't you go be a provider and save the journaling to the girls?

What if they're making money and their journaling? What if—

I just don't see how that's possible, honestly. Writing things down takes forever.

But like, what if they don't watch TV and they don't watch sports? And then we're not gonna get along if you don't watch TV.

Okay, well, I admire it. I don't know if I would want to be with somebody who journals, honestly.

That's fair to say. But like, can you— yeah, so you admire it, as do I. I don't know if I could. I like— that's just a lot. I do think like my journal— my— versus me—

my views on it have changed since that immature episode where I thought it was like a really weird thing to to do, um, but that doesn't mean I want it for my own life.

I, I completely agree.

Okay, now our third and final submission is actually an update from maybe 1 or 2 weeks ago. Remember we were talking about— and I'll read the submission— about the girl who found that like her boyfriend/husband was saying like, how young are you? Yeah. Okay, so here was the submission. Hey Swirlies, in classic Dear Toasters fashion, I actually found out my husband was gay while searching through his computer and finding thousands of chats with him and men on Reddit. Think really vile, glory hole, talks of power topping and meeting up with transgender people. It was wild. The real dark part is that I saw a chat where he asked someone, how young are you? Weird, right? As a standard question is, how old are you? So unfortunately I didn't see the answer as the rest of the conversation. I was trying to take as many screenshots of things on his computer before he came down the stairs. I filed for divorce, obviously. Yes, I have an attorney, but now I'm concerned that he's also into young children as well as men. Looking for input from my girlies. Love a toaster who asks questions. Now we had told her that, um, unless you have children, like, you need to just make—

I think we said run like the wind. Yes, I think that was the advice.

Unfortunately, she has written us back saying, yes, I have children. Children, two little girls, 2 and 4. He is actually saying that he's not gay, only bored. Yeah, right. And he's saying, how young are you? Was actually a question to obtain their age to make sure that they were old enough to chat with. Also, you're right, obviously he's a liar at baseline. It's been a year-long custody battle because I live in a state that loves joint custody. We go to court in two weeks. I wish I had enough evidence to send him to federal prison for the pedophilia, but unfortunately I don't have proof. Hopefully the DTQ can send positive vibes and prayers to me and my girlies and he gets what he deserves. Thanks for reading my submission. It booed me and made me cackle on a dark Oh my God. Oh gosh, I'm so sorry. Like, this is darker than I thought it was going to be. I just feel like whatever the court decides, like, this is not our business. Like, you should take the kids and move out of state.

Like, that— but then she's like, obstruction of justice. Yeah, kidnapping. That's so fucked that you can have like this creepy, like, pedophilic ques— you know, even remotely a question, and it's like joint custody when you have a mother who wants full custody and like is sound of mind.

I actually feel like just like talking to like sexually to people on Reddit is very time-consuming, and he actually might not end up using all of his custody. Yeah, like because it will get in the way.

Joint custody, they want to fight for it and they want to punish you, but they don't actually want kids half the time.

Men, men always want joint custody just to hurt the moms. Yeah. And then when it comes time, it's like, oh, I have to do bed, bath, bottle, never mind, I'll pick them up next week. So I have faith that like he's just doing this to hurt you. Great, let him.

But like, the kids will be with you. Yeah, just like have—

give them a lot of Red 40 before they get picked up. Like, like give them a lot of Red 40, give them a lot of sugar. Like kind of make them hand them over to him at like 5 o'clock, like the worst hours of the day. He'll get tired in a couple of weeks. Yeah, I'm really sorry.

Like, that's awful. That really made me sick. Yeah, but we love you. Yeah, we do. And it's like, get a great lawyer who can drill home the fact that he is likely a sexual predator. Yeah, screenshots, screenshots, receipts, Receipt-proof timeline.

Even if you don't think it'll work, like, there's now a record of it in court that if anything were to happen, like, you could say I told you so, and that'll help your case. So definitely, even though you don't think it's gonna like move the needle, include it regardless. Yeah, sorry that that happened to you. Thanks for emailing us with an update. Thanks to everybody who wrote in. deartoasters@gmail.com is the email, and if you ever want to write in on our website, it's thetoastpodcast.com. That is our show. Happy Tuesday! Thank you so much for listening to The Toast in the Morning Show, where we deliver the fast 5 stories that you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube. So if you're watching us on YouTube, please feel free to subscribe and give this video a thumbs up. We're also available as podcast, and our podcast can be found at Spotify, iTunes, Stitcher, Public Radio, iHeartRadio, CastBox, all the places web listen to podcasts, find us at Josie5Star, we have a little signing, and weekly town to be at. Hope you guys have an amazing day, and we'll see you tomorrow.

Love ya, bye!