Transcript of Happy Fraudiversary: Friday, May 15th, 2026 New

Good morning, girlies.

It's The Toast.

It's Jackson, Claude, and we're your hosts. It's your favorite show, the fast 5 things you need to know.

We'll start your day off swirly. It's The Toast.

I sound amazing.

Welcome back to The Toast. Yeah, that's right, mudasuckers. Oh my God, Ben's new vocal stim is because like is saying motherfucker, but he says 'mudasoka.' From— I don't know why.

Where does that come from?

I have no idea. He says it 1,000 times a day. Let me tell you, it never ceases to make me giggle. And now I'm saying it.

'Mudasoka.' Okay, it's happy Friday. It's not super swirly. It's not super swirly.

Well, it actually is because you're always yelling at me. Well, like and by always I mean that one time, for cursing, because this is a family-friendly show and people listen in the car with their kids. And so yeah, Murasuka, okay, put that in your pipe and smoke it, kids.

Don't— kids, don't smoke.

Stay in school, listen to your mommy always and forever, and give lots of hugs and kisses.

Yeah, there we go. Now we can end the show.

Happy— how do we start the show? Happy Friday! Hope everybody had a par-ge-licious week. We're gonna cap it off with a delicious show. We've got Queenie and Weenie. We've got stories on stories. I've got a little Real Housewives of Rhode Island recap. Yeah, you have to watch it.

I'm going to. I told you I'm traveling, and so I'm going to watch it on the plane, even though like I'm totally going to sleep on the plane. But sure, yeah, I'll watch it. Um, I have every intention to. Like, you don't— and I wouldn't— last night, what did I do last night? Co slept. Oh, it took a long time to get those two to bed.

You know what I did last night that I actually wanna do with you? Uh, one night co-sleep in the future when you're free. Oh, I would love to co-sleep with you. No, I played mahjong online, but like you video in so you can talk with your friend. Not with strangers. Sorry.

So it, it was like Saturday night Zoom during COVID Yes, exactly.

Now the interface is like a little janky. I kept getting like cut out, but we could see and hear each other while also playing mahjong. It was basically like we were in the same room.

No, that's a lot. I think that's a lot. I, I— no, but maybe we could play at night together whenever I see you. Oh, we could play when I see you. We could play when I see you this weekend.

Oh right, you keep saying that you're traveling this weekend. I'm like, oh, maybe she's going to Dallas. Like, oh, you're coming to see me?

Get a guest room ready.

I've got some shopping to do for the guest room.

It's okay, I'm a simple woman.

Of course, just some, you know, simple linen, European linens.

Yes, just some silk sheets.

Yes, of course.

But don't worry, I'm sure you're all stocked up. I am, I am.

I'm so excited to be hosting my first guest.

Yeah, I'm excited. I haven't seen your new place.

That's the weird thing, is that like you haven't asked me yet, but I know you're going to ask me for my address, which is just crazy.

I asked you for your address the other day, did I not? Don't you feel like I did?

Maybe. But like, it's just weird that like I've literally lived in your home and you've never been to mine.

I did ask for your address for Glam because I have to give it to them, so that's why I asked.

Got it, got it.

So I have it.

It's just crazy that like you don't know— like, I know the inside and outside of your house. Like, I've slept in every room. You don't know my home at all.

I don't know anything about it. Like, you've never even sent a video.

You really—

yeah, you don't—

like, so weird that you don't know where I live. Like, do you not think that's weird?

You don't like post a lot of like I've not seen a lot of your home.

That's so crazy that, like, do you not think that's weird?

No, it is. It's just like, I guess we've been busy, you know?

Yeah, of course. And I've literally only lived in this place for less than a year. It's not like it's my real, like, lifelong home, but still, it's so crazy.

Yeah, so we'll make that right this weekend.

Yeah, we've got our big live show this weekend. Um, what else?

Yeah, so it's just sort of a big weekend.

Sort of.

Yeah, like especially for me.

Because you're traveling. Because I'm traveling.

Yeah, solo. Yeah, which is like a big thing to do.

It is like a big ordeal.

Yeah, especially when you like don't travel that much. Some people do like travel all the time, no big deal.

Just a quick, quick flight.

Yeah, but like, like Margot, like if I told her what I'm doing this weekend, she'd be like, oh yeah, that's just a regular day.

Right.

But when you don't do it a lot, like, it really is an ordeal. Like, the airport— not the airport. Like, oh no, oh no.

Can I tell you a little bit about Real Housewives of Rhode Island, or no, because like it's going to spoil it for you?

I don't want you to influence my feelings about people, and I feel like you can give me like one more day of grace considering I'm, I'm on like week 3 of Copper's Bell Burden grace.

Okay.

You know?

Yes. Yeah. And if I don't— if I, if I accept the grace, I have to give it as well.

If I don't make any inroads this weekend, like, permission for you to talk about it on Monday.

Just take off your headphones so I could say a few things.

Oh, okay, great. I need to drink my coffee.

So I just want to say, like, I was very confused in the beginning because all the ladies look alike, and the ones that don't look alike, it's easier to sort of have opinions on them. So Kelsey was like my favorite, mostly because she was so pretty. And now with the perspective of hindsight— and by the way, I got up to the episode where they're at the polo, which is so crazy. This Brian thing, him coming back without his ring. It's, it's literally historic. I've never seen anything so crazy happen on reality TV in my entire life. And like, Rula, like, you just want to smack her. Like, she's so silly. Back to Kelsey. She was like one of my early favorites because like she was really open about the fact that she had this weird lifestyle, and she was so pretty. But I realized that it was just like the pretty privilege talking. She's literally the worst. And now of course, like, things are coming out that her and that guy haven't been together for like over a year. He just let her use the house to film. She's like launching her career. Like, the whole Rosie Instagram thing, I was like, okay, you've officially lost me.

Now she's like really coming hard for Rosie, and I didn't like Rosie because she is annoying, but I feel bad for her. Like, Kelsey's like kind of obsessed with Rosie. Everyone like also lives for Alicia, and I'm sorry, I kind of don't. Rosie kind of ate her up at the bonfire. I lived for it. I don't like die for Alicia. And everybody does act weird around Liz. Like, Liz is the richest. Liz is obviously like the grand dame, if you will. And so everybody like acting weird around her, walking on eggshells— I hate that. And Alicia is kind of a big loser, I just want to say. But I love Liz. Um, who are the others? Okay, I feel like that's good. Um, I have to get Jackie's attention. Like, hi Jackie! Yes, Miss— yeah, hi! Yeah, yeah, join us. Oh wait, wait, sorry, put it back. Sorry, I can't believe I forgot to talk about my queen, Joellen. Like, I literally die for her, and I'm sorry. Nobody wants to be that person, but shows like this require people like Joellen, like the bone carriers, the people who bring to the table what's actually going on.

And so I actually think she's doing it in the nicest way possible. I don't know why everybody's like, Joellen's mean, Joellen's mean. She even says that about herself. She's she's like, oh, I'm so mean. She's really not. Like, sorry, she's just doing what needs to be done. She's my queen. I fucking love Jo Ellen. Go, we're good.

Okay, there we go.

Um, so yeah, that's that on that. I'm still not even— I don't know how many episodes there are, but I believe I'm like episode 6. Ben's loving it.

Oh, good, good. While I was on my phone, um, Sam sent a picture from like when we took that trip to Nashville. I guess that was like 4 years ago today. 5 years ago. Picture 5 Is that 5 years ago?

Oh my God, we're so cute.

We're literally so cute. We took a girls trip to Nashville and like almost like a bachelorette party, but oh, and also with Lauren Elizabeth and her friends.

Lauren Elizabeth and her Chicago friends. What was the event? Just like a trip?

It's just a trip.

I don't think we didn't go for like a concert or anything.

No, no, it was just a girls trip that just kept getting bigger and we had so much fun.

We should do that again.

Yeah, we should. You know where I was thinking I wanna go?

I love Nashville.

You know where I wanna go? Like where I'm having like an itch to travel.

Canyon Ranch?

No, of course no.

Always.

And I think I've said this before recently, but it came up again because I saw something on my feed. Charleston.

Oh sure, yeah, we should go.

And like Shannon's there a lot.

Speaking of Charleston, I texted Craig Conover yesterday.

It was a video of his that made me want to go, a video of the food at his restaurant.

By the way, Charleston Yeah, I texted him, you should date Kelsey Ballerini, and he quite literally left me on read, which makes me think like he always answers my text, we talk all the time, like it's not weird that I texted him. And the fact that like Craig would never leave me on read, so I feel like it makes me think like maybe there's something going on. They're dating for sure, and he can't put it in writing.

And I'm sure it was like kind of a complicated day for him because like he did see the pictures of her with her ex, and it's like, of course, it's the sort of thing that got him in his feelings, and he was ready to be done, but she was like, no, it's not what you think, like it was more of like a closure walk.

Absolutely. And that's why he didn't answer me. He was like so busy and obviously distressed.

He's like sorting out his feelings because he's like, am I still dating Kelsey Ballerini? I don't know. Should I believe her that it was a closure walk, right?

Maybe I, um, hit the— like, what's it— what are you, uh, what's the phrase? Did I— no, no, not hit the nail on the head. Did I rub salt in the wound? Pinch a nerve? Did I touch it? Touch a nerve? Hit a nerve? Did I hit— oh, speaking of nerves, can't believe I got to tell everyone My mobility issue update. As predicted, I went to the hand doctor and they were like, yeah, you need an EMG. I'm like, yeah, I know, I'm here for the EMG. So now I have to go to another doctor in like 2 weeks. But basically it's kind of a big deal. So the tendon in my thumb is intact, but it's not moving. You know when you move your thumb— filming— but it's not filming. Like literally move your thumb up and down, you see that like vein thing that pops out? That's your tendon.

Yeah.

Mine doesn't move. So the nerve is restricting it.

Show me how much you can move your thumb.

Okay. This is my good thumb.

Not your good one. Your other one. Pick it up higher.

I can't.

You really can't.

I really can't. And now he did like a test on all my fingers. My index finger is like starting to give out too.

It's compromised.

Yeah. Like, like he did this test where like, he's like, fight me back. Fight me back. And I literally couldn't. You see, I can't, but you can fight back all the, all the other fingers. So basically what he said is that like something is compressing on my nerves, like, because the tendon is intact but the nerve is not sending the signal. He said it could be like a mass or something like that's pushing on the nerve. Yeah. And he was like, it could be in your elbow, it could be in your shoulder. So an EMG will tell you like where the blockage is coming from, and wherever the blockage is coming from, like, I'll most likely have to get surgery. It's really a big deal. And people are like— I've been talking to people about this, like, so whatever, you still have a left thumb. He said, first of all, it could continue to like your hand, take other fingers, and the likelihood that I get movement back is like zero without doing something. No, no, even with surgery, it's just so that it won't get worse. Like, this is so crazy. I literally am like disabled.

Oh my God.

And I don't even talk— like, I, first of all, I need a placard. Like, I need a placard for the car. I never even talk about it. Like, I'm such a soldier. Like, I'm so strong. It's a really crazy situation.

It is a crazy situation. I'm sorry that I didn't understand the severity until now.

And I told you, I dropped Levi. Like, it's only a matter of time before something worse happens.

Okay, so go get your EMG.

I know, and it's like, I hate to abuse my platform, but can somebody like just get me in for an EMG? I have to wait till like June 10th. Are you serious? Like, just EMG me. Like, I have a prescription for it. Just give me an EMG. Like, it's really annoying. Like, that— I like— the healthcare system is so broken. It's 3 appointments and I still haven't had an EMG. Like, just give me the fucking test. Everybody agrees that this is the test.

Well, the healthcare system is really broken.

I know, I've been watching so much The Pit. Like, yeah, I actually haven't— yeah, I'm finished.

It's really so annoying. It's really crazy. Um, but also just like, book June 10th, it would be here before you know it. And like, so often I'm like, oh, I don't want to do that, it's so far away. And then it's like, oh, I didn't book it because it was far away and I didn't do anything in between, and now I don't even have—

of course, of course. No, I have the date, but it's like, if somebody like in a high place with an EMG machine could just like help me out.

I mean, like, influencers— if someone has an at-home EMG machine—

yeah, like a lot of influencers like want to go to Paris, like, I just want an EMG, okay? I'm abusing my platform. I'll do like a sponsored post.

Like, let's go twice this week that you're abusing your platform.

Oh, what was the first?

Nukuri Tarta. The hotel.

Yeah, I didn't feel like I abused my platform actually at all. I was, I was speaking my truth.

You didn't abuse your platform. You used it though, which like we don't really—

I didn't, I didn't use my platform.

You used your platform to get—

I just told the story.

No, no, but then we like named them.

Thankfully, thankfully they gave me a refund.

No, no, I'm glad that you did, but like You know, that's— you use your platform to get the refund.

Yeah, I just was reading about this case in Rhode Island about grandparents' rights. Do you know the story?

No.

Such a crazy story. Okay, so this guy in Rhode Island was suing his, like, former in-laws. Basically, him and his wife, beautiful young girl, she gets breast cancer. She goes into remission. They live a healthy, happy life. They get married. They have a baby via surrogate, beautiful little daughter named Layla. Then all of a sudden, the wife starts not feeling so good again. Her parents are both doctors, so her parents are like, you're fine, you're going through Prozac withdrawal. Like, they're like gaslighting her. They're like, you're fine, you're fine, you're fine. She then consults like secretly another doctor. She feels bad going against her parents' back. She talks to her friend's dad, who's also a doctor, and he's like, you need to go to the emergency room immediately. She goes to the emergency room. She has emergency brain surgery. She had a 4-centimeter brain tumor. Gets out of surgery in a coma, dies 11 days later. Terrible, terrible story. Now the husband says during the 11 days, the day actually that she died, he comes into the hospital room and her parents have Layla on the floor pinned to the ground giving her a shot of prednisone.

She dies that day. The daughter? No. Oh, sorry, did I say Layla? Yeah, sorry, I am getting names confused. The woman. Sorry, the woman.

Okay, the mom. Okay, the whole—

this whole story is about the mom.

I'm sorry, grandparents, right? Just hold on, hold on. Okay, so, so before she passed away in the coma—

yeah, she's in a coma, and the day she dies, the husband says that he walked into the room and they have the wife pinned to the ground shooting prednisone.

Why do they have to pin her to the ground?

I don't know if she's in a coma, I have no idea.

Like, she would just be like in the bed, right?

They did say that, that they were on the ground, and she dies that day.

What's prednisone?

I don't know, a steroid.

Okay, steroid.

Yeah, steroid. Yeah, I've taken it. Um, so she passes away and the husband just like, he says, you know what, I don't want you guys seeing the daughter anymore. So they start suing the husband for grandparents' rights, which is not a thing, by the way. At first the judge allows them supervised visits, but then like some things happen and the husband's like, you know what, never mind. Like he literally refuses. Like, you can't be with the daughter, with the daughter. Then they release this recording, yada yada. He wins, by the way. These people are like the most weird, and they shut down their medical practice the day she died. The whole thing is really fucking weird, but I was just like, grandparents' rights, you know?

Oh, so what's the point?

He won.

Good.

And so we did like this big special with ABC.

Grandparents don't have rights.

No, they never did.

They don't have custodial rights. Like, those are earned, not given.

Yeah, no, no, they're not like inherent. Like, a parent has rights no matter what you do, how terrible. Grandparents, like, sorry, you actually don't have rights. It's a crazy story. Yeah, that is setting legal precedent as well.

That is crazy.

Yeah, I hadn't heard about it.

Yeah, it sounds like the, the, the medical stuff is crazier than the grandparents, right?

I know. And so they— and so like, you're so crazy.

That's like when you dump like a criminal deer toasters on me and then you're like, I know, sorry, sorry. So what's next?

But that's literally like the essence of the internet. You just like scroll and you read this insanely dark, disgusting story, and then it's like 'Come get ready with me to go to the Kentucky Derby.' Yeah, no, it's a lot.

It's a lot to process.

I know, I know, I know. And they were never held criminally negligible, and he was like, 'Oh, I didn't know I couldn't administer this prednisone shot. I'm her registered pediatrician,' because like he's her dad. The whole thing was really weird.

Okay.

Yeah, drama. Lots of drama in Rhode Island.

Yeah.

Oh, you know, I haven't gotten there yet, but they're taking their first cast trip and they're going to one of the Rhode Island, like, Newport mansions.

Oh, local.

Yeah, local. It's a date. It's like a staycation.

It's a day trip.

It's a field trip. You know, as a first season franchise, like, you have to earn the rights to an international trip.

Oh, for sure. But you could go, like, you could leave your state.

Yeah, you can always tell how well a franchise is doing based on the budget of their trips. Like, when The OC was in, like, really dark time, they were going to, like, the Florida Keys. I heard that, like, Real Housewives of New York this season can't even afford a trip. Like, seriously, I think they're going to the Catskills. So I think it's always reflective of, like, how well a show is performing based on where they go.

Miami also went to the Florida Keys, but that's their like local trip, you know.

They always do too.

They always do too. They do like a close-to-home one and then a larger trip.

So right now we're on the close-to-home trip in Newport, which is Newport. And I don't know if they get a second trip, but if you ever want to know like, you know, the health of a franchise, check out their trips. Like the OC Housewives, when like in their golden years, they went to Dublin, you know.

Those were—

that's when they were performing.

Kelly Dodd, golden years in Dublin.

This isn't my plate.

Yeah, but, um, Beverly Hills will—

that was also Brooke's cancer.

I think Beverly Hills will always get great trips, even though— even if they—

yeah, because they'll pay for them themselves.

And like, okay, so we won't do your show, so we won't do your stupid show, of course.

But also, a lot of the times, like, it's a friend's castle or Sutton's plane. Remember when Erica took everyone on her plane? So a lot of the times it actually has nothing to even do with— and like, purse, purse, purse, purse. Jennifer Tilly. Yeah, yeah.

Um, okay, do you want to get into stories? They're like, they're like odd, odd stories, I would say. Random.

A couple of oddities.

Yeah, there are a couple of oddities.

I love that.

But I think we could get into it. Yeah.

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Our first story, more rumors about the Lourdes wedding.

Yes.

Now reports are that Taylor Swift is inviting her guests in an unusual way.

Uh, sources are saying that she's calling people directly and inviting them to her wedding, which does sound like something like someone dramatic as hell would do, which is so Taylor. But also, you know, there's no paper trail. A picture of the invitation can't get leaked.

Yeah, but yeah, no, I imagine she was like calling people especially to give them like date and place like almost like as a save the date. But to forego an invitation completely, like, that's part of the wedding magic.

I, I actually know, I think it's quite smart. Remember when, um, Ramona Singer posted a picture of Teresa Giudice's invitation? So it's like literally all of the information— to what, when, where, why, how— on one. It's too much.

People have like assistants and stylists and like so many people in your space. Yeah, so apparently she's reportedly calling her friends to personally invite them to her and Travis's upcoming summer wedding. She's keeping details tight under wraps.

She called is even getting leaked.

Yeah, um, some calls she's making while her team is handling others, and the guests are being asked to keep their summer schedules flexible.

Imagine getting like— your friend gets a call from Taylor and you get a call from her team member. There is a hierarchy.

Yeah, but like, you just better be counting your lucky stars you were invited. No, of course.

And I guess it's like what she has to call like Travis's cousins.

No, Travie can do that, or Donna, or, or team, or team member.

No, like, I'm sure she says it like she's being pretty willy-nilly with the invitations. Like, it's not super— I wonder what the policy on plus ones is.

I think they're pulling out so many different conflicting reports, and I think that's a good strategy. We're having a big wedding, we have a small wedding, we're having Rhode Island, we're having the European, like like nobody knows.

Yeah, I agree. I now think that everything we've heard is like a lie, and the idea that they are intentionally putting out rumors is really smart. Yeah, because no one will know where to look. Even if it's— even if the date is right, it's like, we're looking in Alaska, we're looking in New York, we're looking in Nashville. Meanwhile, they're in Japan, you know?

And I want to say, I don't think the date is right.

Right.

And I think that if it's not that July 4th weekend, it will be before, because if everybody has eyes on July 4th, then we'll miss it. Yeah, yeah, like, you know, so I think, I think they're doing the right thing not to like— sorry, I didn't mean to like spoil it, but blow up your spot. Um, but you could still pull it off without a hitch because everyone thought it was like June 13th or whatever, right?

And given her weird numerology habits, you could actually probably predict her date. So perhaps she's like, you know, forgoing the numerology just for privacy.

But I also think like you can make meaning out of a lot of different numbers. They have a lot of numbers, 89, 13, the date of their first date. I also didn't— when did she perform at Arrowhead? In July.

July.

July. So I think we're not gonna know. I hope that— I hope they get away with whatever they're trying to get away with. And all I ask for are like a couple of pictures and videos.

Lady Wilson also just got married. Celebrity wedding. I don't know if you saw, it was very elegant. Like, it was a Vogue wedding, which you don't really expect just from like a— she's very down-home country gal, but it was like, you know, the, the southern esthetic. People have like cowboy hats at their wedding. This is like the new inspo. It was really beautiful.

Yeah, I mean, she like never takes off a cowboy hat, so yeah, right, but she's gonna wear— it's actually like funny to see her without one.

Yeah, she walks the walk and she talks the talk. She actually has like a functioning farm.

Yeah, it was very beautiful.

And her man is hot. Like, he's just this random ex-NFL player, like, you know, Colton Underwood energy. I think he played for like 30 seconds, you know?

Good.

Yeah, I love that.

I love that. I remember when they got engaged, we titled the episode 4x4 by You Forever.

Wait, so cute. I think we were probably predicting her hashtag, right?

Maybe, but we just like kept saying it.

4 by 4 by 4 by you. That's her worst song.

Forever. That's what—

forever.

That's what we kept saying.

Maybe it wasn't their hashtag, but like maybe it was referenced in a vow or something.

And I just want to say congratulations on getting engaged and getting married.

Huge feat for a celebrity.

Huge feat. Cuz either they never get married or they just like break up. Mhm. It's so rare. That they get married.

Yeah. Getting engaged as a celebrity is like a means to get press and attention and also like a pretty piece of jewelry. It does not— it almost never equals wedding, a wedding.

Yeah.

So you're right. Making it to that next step is quite beautiful.

Yeah. So congratulations on that.

Yeah.

Yeah. Like Taylor and Travis, they still have to get married.

Right. And I do believe, I have faith that they will, that they're gonna get—

Taylor didn't come this far just to come this far and that she wants to get married.

Oh, absolutely. I know, like, the financials, and I would literally love to know, like, their lawyers are working— it's not even a question. Like, they're having the most airtight prenup because she's like so business, but she's also so romantic and so just like— she's literally a 12-year-old, like, at heart. Like, all she wants to do is like get married to her knight in shining armor, and it's actually happening. So yeah, I do, I do think they'll make it past the finish line.

But I also think for the two of them, like, the prenup is very simple.

Yeah, like we are completely separate entities now and forever.

Yeah. And I guess it's like if we buy a house together, um, how do you—

that's marital, like that'll be shared even if they didn't put in the same.

Yeah, I think that it's— I think like at that point it's like, okay, it's like a couple million dollars, like you have a billion, it's— if you wind up like— and it's like he has a lot of earning, he has a lot of money, he has a lot of earning potential.

I, I feel like I know, but you think like, oh, when you're so rich it doesn't matter. Like, nobody cares about their money more than rich people.

No, I know, but it's like, so what if you really want to keep everything separate? It's like whoever paid the percent of the money for the house, I think you seriously have to do it that way.

But it just makes it hard because like you can have all these rules, but the law dictates it. So it's like, it actually really depends also where they get married because it's like, yeah, we can have this prenup, but the law says that a marital home is marital property. So it's like, we don't really care what your paperwork says. Yeah, so I don't know, the law complicates.

Or maybe they just— okay, so don't buy a house then if you guys can't figure it out. Just stay in the houses that you have. Yeah, that's what I mean. It's like, but you're building a life, so it's like you can't hold yourself back because it's like, oh well, what if one day he gets half of this house that I paid 60% for?

But yes, being a married wife is like an— I, I, based on my sort of like years-long knowledge of Taylor Swift, is her number one desire. And I do think it was a leading factor of her breakup with Joe Alwyn. It's also so crazy how different her life is, like, with Joe and Travis. Of course, like, we shouldn't compare, but like, what a misery. Like, it's like she loves going out, she loves being paparazzi'd. Like, those pictures we see of her walking from the car to the restaurant in New York City, if you ever watch a video of it, she's so walking so slow, she's turning to the right, turning— she loves those pictures. Like, she loves being seen. And it's like We never saw her, let alone with him.

Yeah, no, it was like we literally had that one clip. Prison.

We literally have that one clip of the Reputation DVD, like where she runs from the stage and like he's wearing a hat and we only see him from the back. Like, why was so drama?

Yeah, like it's really like life is meant to be fun.

Oh my God, I know. She must be having so much fun, like literally fresh out the slammer.

Fresh out the slammer. Are you ready for our next story? Actually, the rest of our stories are some relationship news.

First up, okay, actually, and our first one was too, love is in the air. Love is in the air.

Actually, it's a, it's a whole range. First, Dylan Sprouse, Barbara Palvin are expecting their first baby together. They debuted her bump at the Cannes Film Festival on Thursday, looking par-ge-licious.

I'm sorry, I'm really working on not interrupting you during the story. It's like, I know it's one of my biggest pet peeves, and like, I'm sorry. So are you done?

Looking par-ge-licious, period.

Things that mean a lot to me. This— I'm obsessed with these two. First of all, I don't know if I've ever seen a more beautiful like pregnant person. This dress is perfect, the color blue. Do you think she's having a boy? Probably, right? Based on the color. The color is so gender reveal.

You think so? I don't know. The carpet here is blue. That's just a beautiful color. I'm not so like— it's so beautiful and it's, it's very like baby, baby doll. Yeah, yeah.

The silhouette, the cap sleeve, like she looks radiant. Now of course makes a little bit more sense why he was, you know, so quick to defend his home when that intruder—

he brought out the big guns—

popped up. He grabbed the gun like there's a baby on board. Of course, 3 souls in the house. Everything's making sense now. I just love them. Like, I really do.

Mm-hmm.

And of course, you can't talk about Barbara Palvin without talking about the time she was the plus-size model at the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. Like, I will seriously never stop talking about that when she was like a size 4, even though she was like the mid-size.

And that's confirmed true that she was plus-size?

Well, she was considered like, you know, no, she was considered mid-size.

How do you know that? That's how they considered her because it was like, it was said.

You guys know what I'm talking about?

Like, no, I, uh, I don't, but you say it enough that I, that I'm like, and I know what you're talking about because you tell me about it.

I fucking love her. I don't know how they like make their living because I don't believe he works. I worry a lot about like how they're gonna pay for their kids' tuition. She's like a successful model, but I don't see her doing a lot.

Yeah, no, and it's like she's a successful model, but that only pays like so much, and then you have to keep doing that over and over again.

And like, what does he do?

He has a beer company, I think.

Oh, okay. He has 8 million followers.

So I do think he monetized 8 million followers.

Okay, well, he doesn't because he has 9 photos on his Instagram. One of them is the pregnancy announcement and the other 8 are like a cartoon sketch.

And what about the beer company?

I don't know. It's not even in his, um, but they're so famous. Their announcement, which was a collab post between the two of them, has 4 million likes.

Oh my gosh, like, they're very well known, but like, how do they— they have to get to work.

Let me look at her. I'm sure she's like holding it down with her— she's a Ford model, she does like— they go to every event, but like, no, but those— what do they do?

Those things don't pay.

I think that they both are like big brand ambassadors for like international fashion brands.

It seems like she's the only one working because what is he an ambassador for? She has like Photo.

I think they do stuff together, like not modeling campaigns, but like they're definitely like, what, like, you know, Hugo Boss ambassadors.

Yeah. Does that stuff pay a lot?

I think it, like, you know, if you get a bunch of them.

Here they are with Express. Oh, hashtag Express partner. Okay, good.

But on her Instagram.

Yeah. Oh, hashtag Walmart partner. Okay, good.

Oh, Walmart partner. You gotta do both. You gotta do high end and mass.

Her new Biotherm campaign is here. Wait, everything, almost everything is an ad.

She— yes, she is a very successful influencer and model.

How—

like, what does he do?

Creed fragrance ad?

Maybe, um, his company is called Allwise Metery.

Oh wow, she works really hard.

I know. So it's like, hopefully he has like investments.

Maybe he'll be a sad—

maybe he'll be a stay-at-home dad. Yeah.

Well, regardless, I don't want to worry them about their finances right now in such a joyous occasion.

Of course, of course. And really, absolutely a slay of an announcement. Yeah, we just showed up at Cannes Film Festival pregnant and posted a picture on Instagram. Beautiful. Like insane. Yeah, this is so fucking classy.

Yeah, very, very. By the way, have you heard that there's, um, like a Met Gala curse?

No, tell me all about it.

So apparently that Kylie and Timothée did not walk the carpet together because there's like a Met Gala couple's curse that peep— that's going around.

I kind of feel that because it's sort of what we were saying, that the Met Gala feels like a time capsule of the year. So now when we look back on pictures, like, it's crazy that Jessica Simpson went with John Mayer, but it's reflective of the year. Whereas like, if you're trying to be timeless, you can't go to the Met Gala.

Yeah.

Where did you hear that?

I don't know. I, it was— I, I had it in the stories a couple days ago, but then it was just like a rumor that that's why they— and also, you know, the Knicks are in the playoffs, but that, you know, like Kim went with Pete, Kylie did go with Travis.

Mm-hmm.

And there's just like this—

but is it just for the Kardashians, or— I don't know.

I do feel like though, if you go to the Met Gala with someone, like, yeah, you're probably not getting married. I don't know why, because it's like date night. Yeah, but also, but maybe it's like, dig deeper. If you're going with some— to the Met Gala with someone who's also invited to the Met Gala on their own Maybe you shouldn't be together.

Why?

Just like too big start, like just not the right. Yeah, yeah, except for Kylie and Timothée, of course. But yeah, I thought that was interesting. These two used to go to the Met Gala together. Oh, it's funny, they didn't give this moment to the Met Gala.

Good, good. Maybe they don't want to curse.

No.

Yeah, they're so— they're so Met Gala because they're so art. They're so— I don't know, like we— like we can't even describe what they do for a living because they're just like doing art.

Yeah, yeah. You know who it reminds me of? Olivia Palermo and her husband Johann Schubel, who do art and modeling and faces of—

for sure. But I definitely have questions about how they pay their bills, like, because they're not operating at the level that, like, Barbara Palvin is.

No, but, like, but she's been doing it for years where she's just like, face up, hashtag partner, hashtag ad.

It's insane that she's, like, from the reality show. Yeah, like, I'm sure she, like, worked her way up in the fashion world, but the reason why the world knows her is because of that one-season wonder, The City.

Yeah, but, like, the reason why we remembered her wasn't because of the show. Like, plenty people.

She was that girl.

She was memorable.

She was that girl.

But yeah, the two of them, they just like show up places, get their photo taken, and pay the bills.

Yeah, they're at like every like artsy fashion event.

Yeah, yeah. So that's, that's familiar.

Yeah.

Our next story, I know this is going to be like really hard news for some people. Jason Biggs and his wife Jenny Mullen have split after 18 years of marriage.

And this is not hard for me, but like it's hard for me to compute. Like seriously, why?

Why split? Yeah, yeah, I don't know. I mean, I feel like they're one of those couples that like people are questioning the definition of love today if they were your couple.

Yeah, they're just like so— I guess when you pass a certain length of time in a Hollywood relationship, like you're forever, you know? I, I think of them as like, like a Blake and a Ryan before, you know, all the hate, or like a Chrissy and John, Emily and John, Emily, like just an institution. Obviously on like a smaller level because they're not as famous as everybody else, but like, so weird.

Yeah, but I guess you could say that at like any marriage, like if you get to 18— of course, of course, if you get to 18 years, don't you just like cruise into the sunset, enjoy the golden years?

And I think like the comparison is because they share a lot and like they're so relatable, like, you know, like Instagram, like Ryan Reynolds like cutting his wife out. So It's just like, this is, this is shocking. Like, talk about people I never thought of.

Like, yeah, no, but I do feel like people feel like they know them because they're very like Instagram and relatable, and they share a lot of like the ins and outs and like the good and the bad, you know?

Yeah.

Um, but now they're calling it quits. They say they're on great terms. They remain focused on their sons who are 8 and 12.

Crazy.

Uh, Page Six said they've been hearing rumblings of a split for at least 9 months.

Oh, I haven't heard a single rumble. No, me neither.

But like, I wasn't listening.

That's what I'm saying. Like, I wasn't even— I never thought to think of these things.

I didn't have my ear to the ground.

Oh well, I did, but not about them.

No, no, about— and I did not have my ear to the ground about them.

I never think of them.

I didn't see American Pie.

Pie.

He's a little before our time.

Um, I wouldn't say that actually. I just like— he did other stuff too. The— what do you think? So classic.

He's so classic. But I do feel like for Eurotrip— yeah, we were like a little young to have watched Eurotrip.

Yeah, yeah, I guess. But like, he's classic. What else is he from? I feel like I've seen him and stuff.

Yeah, no, he's in a ton of stuff. But I'm saying like, people who are obsessed with him, like, I do feel like we're a little— a couple years after those people. Yes, all the Americans.

Yeah, which I might have seen one.

So many rom-coms. My Best Friend's Girl, Saving Silverman.

Say, remind me, what's Saving Silverman about?

He's like dating that awful girl and they're trying to like break them up, and him and his loser friends. And actually, oh, of course. Yeah, who's the girl?

Probably now if we watched it, she was like, she's like a queen, just trying to like make her man better.

Yeah, right. Yeah, Amanda Peet is the girl.

Classic. Amanda Peet has been working forever.

Yeah, um, he's going to allow himself to be badgered into marrying Judith, a woman he doesn't love. They decide to re— they decide to reunite him with his ex or whatever, long-lost love from his school days, and then they kidnap Judith.

Oh, dark.

Yeah, Jersey Girl, I know you love that.

He's in Jersey Girl?

Yeah, there he is.

With Ben Affleck and Liv Tyler.

Yeah.

And the girl from The Voice.

Yeah, there he is.

Who does he play?

Someone in the COVID photo. He plays—

what? That's one of my favorite movies.

He plays—

I don't know.

Oh, hold on, I'm going to IMDb. I'm really down the rabbit hole.

Hold on, I'll find it.

IMDb is not what it used to be.

Agreed.

Oh, Arthur Brickman.

Oh, oh, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. He plays like Ben Affleck's like big city agent.

He plays Arthur Brickman.

Yeah, of course. I mean, putting him on the COVID is kind of generous. Like, no, but he's such a big star.

I mean, he's really an anti-character. He's really huge, but he's like very '90s, you know, and we were just like growing up at the time.

Yeah, well, so sorry. RIP to that marriage.

Yeah, sad. Are you ready for our next story? Another breakup.

What number?

Number 4.

Yeah, is it Elsie Hewitt?

Pete Davidson and Elsie Hewitt split 5 months after welcoming baby girl. So Pete Davidson and Elsie Hewitt have parted ways. According to The Sun, the relationship fell victim to Pete's busy work schedule following baby Scottie's arrival in December. I'm sorry, that just—

no, I'm sorry, that's fucking crazy.

Unacceptable. Like, to the point that I actually don't believe it, because like, if you wanted to, you would.

Yeah, um, and I'm gonna, I'm gonna go a little, you know, out of bounds here and say like, I just find this unacceptable. You have a 5-month-old. Let's say it is the schedule. Like, what's the point in being famous if you can't take off a couple of months when you have a baby?

Yeah, no, the, the outlet said Pete has been traveling so much for work, but Elsie was craving more support from him at home after their daughter was born.

Um, it's like, like, just, I, I find you're both my trash, quite frankly. Like, this is so fucking unacceptable. Try harder.

Try harder.

Barring like the truth being any sort of abuse, extenuating circumstances. Sorry, too bad. You made this decision. Get back home. Get back in bed.

Then they said it was very hard for him because obviously he has to work to make money. I'm sorry. If like Barbara Palvin and Dylan Sprouse can work at the rate that they do, like, doesn't he live in his mom's like basement? He's in the biggest movies of all time. Yeah. He has a very low overhead. He's not super glamorous.

He's like the face of Calvin Klein. And up until recently he had quite literally no responsibilities besides supporting like himself and his mom.

Yeah, like you don't have savings, you can't take off a couple months.

And I'm sorry, like if you— even if you do have to keep working, like you're at a point where like, why don't we all travel together? We get on a big tour bus, like you make it work.

No, but you can take a break, of course.

But let's say he can't, like let's say he spent all his money and like, you know, on sneakers. Like, I'm sorry, and this is like— this is everybody.

There are other ways for him, him specifically, to like make money from home.

You know, uh, or like a one-day shoot day. Go do a commercial for Walmart.

Go do some Instagram ads. Go do— why don't you do one huge show, one huge night that'll pay for a couple of weeks, a couple more months?

Yeah, and it could be local. I'm really live in New York, not concerned about his earning potential. And so I actually—

I'm not buying this. I'm not buying it.

No, I reject this. I'm sorry, like, this is, um, like, you have a duty as a parent to a 5-month-old to at least try a little bit harder. Yeah, I'm getting the vibe that like, if that's true, this is like a manipulation of the truth. Like maybe like Pete's like scared and he's like spending time away because he doesn't want to be home. Like, sorry, do better. Yeah, and I'm sorry, this is like the internet's boyfriend. Everybody looks him up like he sucks.

I feel like people are over that, you know?

But I still think people like love him and think he's the greatest. Like, and I hate this, like I think this makes you the worst.

Yeah, his personal life is really a mess. And it's been a mess, but this is really—

I feel bad for her.

Yeah, yeah, same. I don't know. Our fifth and final story.

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Thank you, T-U-R-T. You're welcome. Our fifth story is a new segment that I've started— that I'm starting.

Oh, music to my ears. You know I live for a segment.

I know you do. This one is called Nickalandria's Mindless News.

I approve. Nickalandria's Mindless News, like the Fourth of July.

So Nickalandria's— sorry, not Alandria. This is not Alandria. This is Nick. He is—

it almost is never about, like, it's It's not about Alandria, like, it's about Nick.

Yeah, he's responding to criticism of their romance. He's talking directly to us.

Oh shit.

And he's also sharing his partnership with Smirnoff, of course.

Oh my God, I'm telling you, they're never beating the fraudulent allegations.

So he directly addressed the criticism surrounding his relationship with Alandria. And by the way, that's so— that's such a dishonest statement. It's not criticism about his relationship.

Agreed. It's, it's doubts of the legitimacy.

Yeah. At this point, the critics and the critiques are just overdone, he said. He told Us Weekly while promoting his Smirnoff Ice partnership.

I'm screaming.

He said, quote, I've said all I need to say. He has since, okay, shifted his approach, adding, at this point, it's just not about giving it any more attention. He said it's just intuition. Uh, uh, he said he's focused on prioritizing protecting their relationship from outside commentary. He said, it's just intuition. I know the boundaries I have for myself and how much to share and what not to share. Lately, not revealing too much about my personal life has been so nice for both of us. He credited blocking people and setting boundaries online. He said despite creating some distance, he still has enjoyed throwing out like breadcrumbs when it comes to milestones in him and Alandria's relationship. He said, he said, we'll be hanging out and I'll take a picture where her hand will be in the photo and people will see, so it's kind of funny. Ahead of their 1-year anniversary—

wait, what? I'm cracking up. Their one-year fraudiversary.

He recalls his immediate attraction to Ellen, which this part I believe because what he says is true. And like, I think that he was like— I saw those fan edits from early days.

Okay, I don't know actually if you can say immediate attraction, because if you're immediately attracted to someone and then you make out with them and decide that like actually it's not a match, like, I'm sorry, there was not an immediate attraction.

I'd say the first thing I noticed was obviously her beauty and grace. She just carries herself as a proper woman, and the boss that she is, I just think that's really attractive, which is just facts. Um, but he said he's appreciated the calm moments more. Looking ahead—

I'm cracking up, like, literally. Okay, sorry, go.

I just need you to read everything that I read. Wait. Looking ahead, I want to go back to our island that we went on for one of our dates. I'd like to go back to that island. About there, like, he wants to celebrate in Fiji. Um, he also says that they're holding up— fans are holding out hope for a Nicolandria appearance in the new season. He said that, um, Smirnoff Ice, which he's partnered with, is also part of Can't forget, he's also partnering with Love Island, launching a new fan-edited, a new campaign inviting fans to vote on a bold new flavor. He said, I'm, I'm in the DJ space and I'd like to have a Smirnoff Ice with me.

We did, we did what?

He said, now that Smirnoff is doing the partnership with Love Island, we're gonna have 8 new flavors that fans get to choose from during commercial breaks. Fans will be able to vote for it. I think that's really cool and interactive.

Commercial breaks. I pay for the Peacock Premium during the summer, only during the summer.

Listen, listen, we make fun of those who don't work and we can— and we make fun of those who do.

I maybe in the beginning, like, I respected their hustle and their commitment to this, but like, it's actually insulting and it's really shocking. And it's actually not shocking, but I feel like it's a real indictment on the culture, like how dumb people are. Because like, people are always like, Chavs and Taylor's a PR relationship, but Nicki Landry is real. Like, please, I, I I actually can't.

No. And the more we talk about Nicolandria, like, we really do get comments like, how can you say they're fake? Like, Nicolandria is real.

Like, and Nicolandria forever.

I just— what are you guys talking about?

Like, what are you guys talking about?

Like, they do every— I mean, actually, I don't follow them closely enough, but from what I see of them, like, they're really not together that often.

But what he's saying is that, like, they've chosen to do for their privacy because there were so many criticisms of their relationship.

And I love that he's like, like, gets the opportunity—

He puts her hand in to let the fans know that they're still together. Meanwhile, she's sending him pictures of her hand being like, put this in your photo.

Yeah, no, he gets the opportunity to respond to the criticism and he's like, I'm just not gonna give it any air. Like, I know what— it's just was so crazy.

Like, I feel good, like, knowing that I never bought into this. And I mean, people did buy into it. It and maybe now don't, or they still do, but I never did.

No, like, and I just like, I don't get it. It must really be making the money. And I think for him, it's— I mean, for him it's amazing. For him it's amazing because look, Smirnoff Ice, like, we're still talking about him. Of course, of course, he's a DJ. Everyone else is on Beyond the Villa, like, yeah, of course.

And they're so high above. She is on another level than him, but he's not with the rest of the boys dancing in a, you know, an LA apartment.

What does Nicolandria do for bless you.

I don't know, now I feel like she could really use like a sort of Ariana Maddix moment.

Like, she should leave him behind.

Yeah, it doesn't serve her anymore. I do think they were stronger together when they left the villa, but like, she's really exceeded him in terms of like fame and prestige. And now he's definitely bringing her down with his like turn— smearing off articles. And yeah, she's like— there were talks about like she was going to be at the Met Gala. Like, she's got to go.

She should be The Bachelorette, 1000%. Like, because she's single and because she's so ready and she's so mature and she's—

and she has a great personality. Like, she can really carry. She was hilarious on the show. Like, it's one thing to be pretty, but like, you have to, to be the lead, you have to carry.

Yeah, no, and that's what he said, like, her beauty and grace, which like, we all know what he's talking about. Like, the way that she just like holds herself, it's just—

it's, it's queen-like.

It's queen-like. It's very graceful.

Yeah.

Um, did you also see the rumors that Taylor Frankie Paul's season of The Bachelorette is going to air this summer?

I think I told you that.

No, but I just— I— that was like low, like that's been bubbling, but I just saw like a more official rumor.

I don't think so. Like the time has passed, people moved on, like they took their loss.

Yeah.

And I don't know if they want to get back involved, like it's so messy.

Yeah, it is. The whole thing is messy. Also, like there was the report that there would be like no men on next season of Slamu.

Love.

Yeah, but also it's like, it doesn't have to be like 0 or 100. Like, we could have like 10.

Jacob can stay.

We could get like 10%.

Even Jace.

Even Jace, he could stay. Your boyfriend. Learning about their relationships, that doesn't bother me. It was when we had to treat Dad Tuck like it was in any sort of way like worth considering in anything that we're thinking or talking about.

Yeah.

Yeah, um, okay, Queenie and Weenie.

Yes, those are the fast five stories, and our final segment of the week is a little something we like to call Queenie of the Week and Weenie of the Week, where we give out two awards. Pretty self-explanatory. Did you act like a queenie this week? Well, you might find yourself in the queenie seat. Did you act like a weenie this week? You might be weenie of the week. Don't take it too seriously, it's a 7-day title. We'll start with Queenie.

We'll start with Queenie because I'm doing something unprecedented. My reigning Queenie, 2 weeks in a row now, Spencer Pratt once again. I guess after the debate he's really like become a bigger figure.

It's become a national news—

it's become a national story because I really wasn't aware of what was happening. And so I've been just like getting so much more content of like his interviews and his videos. Like, he is just like doing interviews. He makes like these AI videos. He like had like a song about it, and he did like a really big fundraiser at David Foster and Katherine Foster's house.

Literary Princess of Malibu. If you know, you know.

And I have just been loving watching everything. And I would watch like the video that he made in his Airstream with like Heidi that was like black and white of like the boys going back to the house and like finding like their old shovel burned in the backyard. Like, it's just— I'm like, I, I, I've really been like taken by the whole, the whole race now. I'm really invested in what's going on over there. And once again, he is my queenie. I think he's doing such a great job. I think he's speaking for so many people. It's so bipartisan too, because I feel across all the different things that I see, like so many different people are like supporting it.

It's a nonpartisan position, the role.

Yeah, no, and he really like makes it about like he's here for the city of Los Angeles. Like it doesn't have to do with national politics or like foreign politics. Like he just wants what the Angelenos want, which is like a functioning city. And he's my city again.

He was asked, um, you know, there's been a lot of comparisons to you, Spencer, uh, for Zora and Mamdani, because you both really use social media to harness and like ignite the people. And Spencer was like, yeah, I mean, Zohran Mamdani wants free busses, and I also want busses free of urine, feces. Like, seriously, he's so funny. I don't know where he comes— he's very quick too.

Yeah, he's very quick. He was like, so in that sense, we both want free things on the busses.

Hilarious.

Hilarious. He also was getting like a lot of shits. I guess he's staying at a hotel when he— like, his home is an Airstream right now, and he just like gave an on-the-fly interview to TMZ being like I can't live in that Airstream. Like, so many people want to kill me. Uh, that Airstream, there's no structures around it.

TMZ is like obsessed now with like exposing that he doesn't live in the Airstream. And I just want to say, I never thought he actually lived in the Airstream. He was making a point. This is my lot of land and we have an Airstream on it now because this is what the state has provided for me one year later.

That is his home address. Like, if he wants to go stay in a hotel right now while he's running a campaign and like, yeah, he needs security now. He needs— he can't be sitting in an Airstream in the middle of nowhere.

No, please, like media literacy at a zero.

Like, it's really crazy. It's really, really crazy. So anyways, I just— I've like been— I've fallen down a rabbit hole again, further down the rabbit hole this week. And I think, um, you just see— it seems so sweet, and I'm just really— historic, really. I think it's really amazing, and it's crazy to think about like the trajectory.

Of course. And I remember when he announced it, like he was— he had a lot of momentum on social media during the fires, obviously, because because he was like a well-known person who lost his whole house, but also because he had this campaign, you know, to get Heidi's music to number one, to like, you know, fundraise for their new house. And the journey it's taken has really been quite beautiful to watch.

No, and in the time since like I stopped paying attention, he's gone from like there to like very serious, very legitimate candidate with like some of the biggest names in LA supporting him financially and otherwise. And it's really like amazing cuz he did it like totally bootstrapped.

Caps.

Totally.

It's very impressive. Yeah, Queenie-like.

Queenie-like. Yeah. So I think that's a first for me, 2 weeks in a row, row Queenie.

My Queenie is also a reality star, and it goes to— this is gonna mean nothing to you— Joellen. I don't know what the temperature is. I haven't went on Twitter yet to see like what people think, but— and you could plug your ears.

I just want to say, but now I know I'm gonna like Joellen.

No, you don't know that.

You—

well, I fucking love Joellen. I just feel like it— what she's doing, it's like nobody wants to be that person, but sorry, that's how shows get made, and that's how great— and I feel like she's actually doing it. And again, I haven't caught up on the whole thing. She's doing it in the most graceful like way that she possibly can. And yeah, it's like, okay, all the women is like, yeah, we know Brian's having an affair, and like, we'll tell Rula, and she can do with that information what she will. But that's like not enough for Joellen. It's like, girl, how fucking stupid are you? I, I relate to that. It's like, it's very hard to watch somebody be so dumb, and all the other women are sort of fine with it, and Joellen's not. And that's my queen right there. Now, weenie of the week touches on something that we spoke about in the beginning of the week, and I actually didn't go hard enough because if I'm being be honest, I hadn't seen the whole video, and I have since seen the entire James Charles Spirit Airlines video, and I'd actually like to play it for the group just in case anybody hasn't heard it in full.

But we talked about it, you know what I'm talking about, right?

No, no, but I didn't watch the video, I just heard about it.

Oh, okay. Actually, I saw like clips, but yeah, me too, I saw clips, but this, like, I watched it in full.

I just got a DM on here from a girl that said, good morning, James, I know you'll probably never see this, but but if you could just take one minute to read, it would really mean a lot to me. I'm really struggling right now because Spirit Airlines just filed for bankruptcy and I have lost my job. Here's the GoFundMe link. Any donations help. I'm sure they do, sweetheart. I'm sure they do. You know what else would help you? Getting another job. Yeah, try that. Because in the time that it took you to copy and paste this the same fuck-ass message to myself, who you don't follow, by the way, and probably 100 other influencers and celebrities. You could have applied for 100 other jobs, but you didn't because you're a lazy piece of shit and you're entitled, and you think that influencers and celebrities should fund your life for you.

Why?

Why would I ever help you? You're not a fan. You don't even follow me. You've never supported me. This is your first time DMing, and you think that I'm gonna send you money because you lost job? Oh my God, welcome to the real world, sweetheart. People lose their jobs every fucking day, and you're white, pretty, and able-bodied. You're in a much better position than a lot of other people out here who are trying clearly much harder to make a better life for themselves. Why would I fucking help you? Aside from that, 17,000 people lost their jobs as airlines. Why do you think you need to go fund me? I can at least like 1% respect the mentality of closed mouth, don't it. That doesn't hurt to try. But honestly, it does hurt to try because now you pissed me off, okay? I'm not the one. Go find fucking MrBeast. This is literally his entire shtick. I'm sure the next YouTube video is literally going to be like, I rehired all 17,000 of the Spirit Airlines employees and it's going to be the real life Hunger Games. The last one of them to leave the Spirit Airlines plane gets to be the CEO of the new company and gets a house and a car, $10 million, and everybody else dies.

Like, go find that video to compete in, baby. I'm not helping you. I'm not fucking helping you. All you did was lost your job. Okay, welcome to the real world. I could at least understand if you were like, James, I'm a longtime fan, here's a trillion years of DMs and my support for you, I love you, I'm suffering with a really rare genetic disease that there is no cure for and I'm trying to raise money for myself and other people that have this. Maybe I would help. Maybe I would help because I love you and I appreciate you. This bitch, you lost your fucking job. Oh, oh. Oh, oh, oh, what are we going to do? Nothing. I'm going to do nothing. You know what you need to do? Go find a fucking new one, girl. Put some effort into the workplace.

Okay, so literally I had not seen it in full. I kept seeing clips and every clip I was getting was so much worse, and I was like, oh wait, I feel like maybe like I was downplaying it. It's so bad. And like, I don't even know what the worst part of it is, but like Like, it's— and of course the girl's GoFundMe blew up. She's like now an influencer, she's monetizing on TikTok, and she— James wrote her like a long— he deleted it, he made an apology video, he DM'd her a private apology to which she didn't answer, she just read it out. Like, it's actually so crazy, and that will land you Weenie of the Week. Like, bad take.

No, but that's like a really crazy video. How is he doing crazy things right now?

No, he's not like a rage baiter. Like, he's not going through a manic episode. Like, that was just a video he thought was a good take.

Yeah, no, but it's not even about like the take, which is like a separate issue. It's like the manner in which he is speaking and yelling and the dramatics. Like, is it always like at that level?

Yeah, he does like rants, and it's like usually it's funny and relatable and people like what he's saying.

Sometimes it's a little polarizing, But oh, so maybe like, maybe he's just gotten a lot of encouragement for his rants and like, maybe like for polarizing rants, and so he's felt like, oh, this is like the next one that I should do.

He also donated $5,000 to her. Oh, and what's crazy was that she was only raising $1,600. Like, it wasn't like she— I think she was probably just trying to like make rent that month, you know?

But doesn't it keep going up like the more you raise?

Yeah, of course. So now it's at like $20,000 or whatever.

Yeah, yeah.

It's— but her goal was 16. Like, she had set out with that goal. Now, yeah, it's just insane. Like, it's the craziest video I've ever seen in my whole life.

Yeah, especially from someone who's like been on the inter— but I guess if you're saying that he's been like doing rants and he's getting like positive—

his only shit—

and he's getting like pot, I could see how you would think like, oh, let me keep doing like hot takes and—

right—

and with a lot of, you know, emphasis, emphasis, um, But yeah, that's really wild. That's a good one. That's a good weenie.

Weenie.

Wiener.

Do you have a weenie of the week?

You know what, I don't. I really feel like when I don't have a weenie in mind, like I don't wanna pick one.

All right, but that's a couple of weeks that you've been weenie-less, so just, you gotta get your act together.

I feel like I'm like just on a positive kick. What can I say?

Yeah, you could say that. I just feel like you're not thinking hard enough or preparing.

Really? No, I really, I do think about it and I go through all the stories, but like no one—

Like let me see, your weenie this week was recycled Queenie and no weenie. Like, sorry, I have to be true. Not to sound like— not to sound like James Charles, but like, you lazy piece of shit.

I have to be true to me, you know.

Well, why don't you just try a little— being a little truer to you harder next week?

I'll give you a weenie. I'll give you—

oh great, Mary.

No, I told you I'm positive. Who? My weenie are the editors at Sports Illustrated who did not put Whoopi Goldberg on the COVID Thank you, that's brilliant. And you picked 4 covers instead of 1, per usual.

Per usual. I did read some feedback of people being like, in the print industry, like, it's so hard to get people to buy a magazine that like—

it's even harder to get people to buy 4. It's—

yeah, you think one is hard?

No, I saw that, like, please stop. And, um, if you had like one iconic cover, it would just be like more iconic and people would want to buy it versus like 4 randoms. More valuable. More valuable. Yeah, like you would be making a statement instead of 4 random people's Instagram photo. But thanks.

Correct. That's our show, you guys. The place looks great. I mean, well, it always does. Thank you so much for listening to the Toast in the Morning Show. We do the fastest stories you need to know every Monday, Friday, and new Tuesday. Watching us on YouTube, please don't forget to subscribe and give this video a thumbs up. We're also available as podcast, wherever podcasts can be found. Spotify, TuneIn, Stitcher, Public Radio, iHeartRadio, podcasts, and social media. Stunning and wickedly talented we are.

Love ya.

Bye.