Transcript of Messy Wessy: Monday, May 11th, 2026 New

Good morning, girlies. It's The Toast.

It's Jackson, Claude, and we're your hosts. It's your favorite show, the fast 5 things you need to know.

We'll start your day off swirly. It's The Toast.

I sound amazing.

Welcome back to The Toast and happy Monday. Happy Momday. It's the Monday after Mother's Day. Happy Monday after Mother's Day.

Mother's Day.

Mother's Day this year felt like my birthday. I got so many texts. Like, are we texting other moms?

Like, yeah, you know what? And I woke up like really early and I had received like a couple of texts already, and I was like, what if I'm just the person that initiates? What if I'm the person who like writes in the group chat first, not the one who's last, like the slob? Yeah, you too, happy Mother's Day.

I know, I sent so many you too's, I felt bad.

I know. What if I put other bitches on blast? What if I did it?

First of all, I love that, like, kind of our sister put you on blast because she sent me flowers. Yeah, she's like, happy first Mother's Day.

She put you on blast because she got me a gift and a card, and she put me on blast.

A gift?

Yeah, she got me actually a really cute gift that's like— you wouldn't think it's like the craziest gift, but it's like my favorite gift I've gotten in a long time. It's like, it was just like a set of little pastel bowls that— wow, like ceramic bowls that are pliny.

And maybe she's waiting to give it to me in person.

Yeah, no, she said she was like at the mall and she just saw them and thought of me and she just want to get me a little something because I've just been like really amazing. And oh my God, and no, because I made like the dinner. I guess I've been like cooking a lot and we had taco night Friday night and like I needed little bowls and I guess she saw like my lack of little bowls and she saw a bowl so she sent a bowl. And I got these cute little bowls. She saw me really is what she saw. Yeah, and they were like beautiful. I actually took a video of them today. I like love them so much. I'll post them. They're Staub too, like that brand Staub.

What is it?

S-T-A-U-B. It's like, it's similar to like Le Creuset. It's ceramic quality things.

I've never heard of it, although if I did see the brand S-T-A-U-B, like personally I would say Staub.

I don't know, I, I, you might be right. I don't know.

I'm just— no, I don't know either.

Um, so yeah, and then I didn't get her a card or a gift, so like I looked like a farce.

I didn't get— I didn't get anyone. That's terrible.

Yeah, it's not just like I, I don't feel put on blast that she got you flowers. Like, then you feel on blast because you didn't get her flowers.

Yeah, of course. Like, I didn't realize like that I was also supposed to be showering other mothers, do you know what I mean, with loving gifts and affection.

It was your first time, you know.

Yeah, so it did— I don't know if I'm gonna get like this many texts always, but maybe because it was my first, like, people went out of their way to text me. Um, And by the time, like, I, I thought, I'm like, oh, maybe I should text someone. I had pretty much already spoken to everyone except like Lauren Elena. So I sent her a text. She's like my mom buddy cuz like we literally gave birth like the same week. So I was like, happy Mother's Day. But like besides that, I had already communicated with everyone. Like, that's so funny.

Oh, and also say yes, I did think about like being the one to send the text first and like put everyone on blast. And, and I didn't do that, but I thought about it. Maybe next year.

The thought is not the thing that counts.

No, but like maybe next year. I think I'm gonna do it next year. I couldn't do it. Like, cuz the minute I thought about it, you're an early alarm for next year. Like the minute I thought about it, then like all of a sudden 8 hours passed, you know? Right.

Of course. Of course. Things like that always happen.

Classic. But next year I got you guys.

So we went away for the weekend. I have so much to tell you that I didn't tell you like offline cuz I wanted to share it on the podcast.

Okay. So how was your weekend?

How did something insane happen? Like the craziest thing ever has happened. Actually, I'm not sure if I'm overreacting or underreacting.

Okay. You know, tell me.

But let me just say we went, and I'm not gonna say the place because, you know, I don't like to disparage.

Did you like the place? No. Okay.

I don't know. I know I did, but like, I don't know how to like it, contextualize what you know now. So let me just say it was like a, you know, a bed and breakfast type of retreat in the woods. It was very woodsy. We went on lots of like nature walks. It was so nice. It was a spa.

Was it a big brand name?

I think so. Yeah.

Okay.

Do you wanna hear something crazy?

No, I wanna hear what— I wanna hear what—

no, wait, let me just—

I just tell you, I can stay on track. What, what happened?

So I, I did like become a Karen, but I don't know if I was being like a Karen or I wasn't Karen enough. So we got there and I called for a crib and we did our first nap in the crib. Like, the crib was like a little small, it was almost like a bassinet. I'm like, what the hell is this? So I call, I'm like, you guys have this bigger crib? They're like, we have a pack and play. I was like, oh perfect, we love a pack and play. Pack and play comes. He sleeps in it that night. The next day we do our naps in it. And then like on the second day, Ben, I don't know what he was doing in the bathroom, like rearranging shit. And he comes out and he was like, are you vaping again? And I said, excuse me, why the fuck would you ask me that? On Mother's Day.

On Mother's Day.

And he goes like this and he holds up a Juul. He was like, this was underneath the pack and play mattress, like between the little mattress pad and the bed. And I was like, what? I'm like, that's not mine. He was like, it literally was under there. Ruby slept on top of it. I was so upset. I was freaking out. I of course called downstairs, and I had to do it over the phone because if I did it in person, I would have been like, oh no, it's fine. But it's not fucking fine. No, right? I don't know. Is it? Is it?

Here's what I'll tell you. Ruby is fine. Yeah, Ruby's fine. So unacceptable from the hotel. Like, I completely— like, rip them a new one. But Ruby is fine, you don't have to worry. I mean, he could— okay, but he's fine. It was under the thing. He's fine.

Like, someone else's germs, nicotine and tobacco. Like, I'm sick.

The germs are like the least part of it.

So I called downstairs.

Wait, do you think it was Ruby's Mother's Day present to you? Yeah, he picked one up at 7-Eleven and he hid it like the Tooth Fairy.

So I called downstairs and I was like, I'd like to speak with the manager. I literally felt like such a Karen. And they were like, okay, he'll call you back. He called me back and I was like, I just wanna let you know that this happened. And he was like, he had an appropriate response, which was like, oh my fucking God. Like, that's insanely inappropriate. That's unacceptable, you know, beneath our— and he was like, what can I do? What can I do? What can I do?

A million dollars should cover it.

Of course. And I didn't wanna say that cuz then they make you think that like you're only calling like to get the discount. And he was like, we could send champagne. I was like, I don't need champagne.

I, I'm not Julie anymore, so I'm gonna also—

I said things, sir, I trust that you'll make this right. He said, absolutely. So what do you think is an appropriate accommodation to be made?

If I'm being measured and I'm speaking for both parties, one night free.

Oh, okay. I got a $250 credit.

How much was a night there?

Not that.

And that means you have to like spend more money there?

Well, no, we already had to, you know, run up a tab of room service and things, so it just made a very small dent. But I'm like, $250, that doesn't feel appropriate. No, it doesn't.

That feels low.

Yeah. And so like, I kind of like liked the place and would return, but I don't know how to hold space for the jewel.

Oh, you can just like— you just, I guess, have to check every crevice of the pack and play.

And I guess maybe—

who set it up?

Well, the thing is, I, I know whose fault it was.

Finn?

No. Oh, it came set up. Like, the guy brought it in and it was like a young teenager. Like, it was obviously him.

Oh, so heads need to roll. I didn't know that. I just thought it was like wedged in there from like the last stay, maybe some parent. No, but if you can know who it probably is—

yeah, the, the person brought it up fully assembled already and just wheeled it in, and it was like a young kid. It was a kid. And on the phone, I got the sense that like the manager knew exactly who it was. Like, there's like a teenager who's always— he's always having to like tell him to stop vaping, you know?

1000%.

Yeah, no, it was definitely a hotel staff.

He should be fired.

Absolutely. You agree, right?

If you can't keep your Juul out of the cribs, yeah, you shouldn't work there.

Yeah, I agree, I agree. I was so upset, like, I could not believe.

Yeah, that's really disturbing and not cool.

But Ruby's not cool.

It's okay.

Yeah, so there were a lot of other great things about the weekend, but like, that's sort of the headline. No, it was— and then I hate to like make my whole trip about that because it was really great. Like, first of all, I went to the spa and they had something I had never seen before. So I go and I sit, and she's like, like, literally, it's crazier than crack. She sits me down. What scent would you like? You know, they all smell terrible. And I was like, unscented, please. And she was like, okay, would you like me to lower the breastplate? I said, what? She's like, we have a breastplate. I'm like, what's that? There's literally in the table where you're You can lower it, like sinks in so your breasts can sort of like dangle and like create space for your breasts.

Hold space.

I was like, girl, lower that to the floor. Like it was probably the most comfortable I've ever been during massage. All places need that. That's the type of, when I say inclusivity, yeah, that's what I'm talking about.

Yeah. Was it like a spa-first hotel, you know, with like a world-leading spa?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

We're gonna find out what hotel it was, guys.

All right, fine. It was the Pendry Nateri. I don't give a fuck. Like, what? The Pendry— I know, weird name. Pendry Nateri. Yeah, it's part of the Montage Collection, so like, they have budget. They have budget to credit me, okay?

Pendry Nateri of the Montage Collection. I've never heard of it.

It's like this really huge estate. It was like a former home of the King of Morocco that they turned, of course, into a bed and breakfast.

Of course you had to go.

I know. When they said that, I was like, you're kidding. My history is on this— my property.

That's my king right there.

And they have like a a spa, a farm, bunch of restaurants. Like, it's really— and it's on like this huge park. It's a public park, but it's like up the mountain on the park. And so you can go down the park, is like this insane walking path with rivers and creeks. Like, it was very natural, very nature weekend. Um, so yeah, it was crazy except for that.

Like, that is crazy. So all in all, how was your lil family staycation?

It was amazing. Like, I really felt like I was on drugs the whole time. Like, I was so happy. We like did spa. Ben and I like, you know, took turns going to the spa. Um, We went for walks, we had beautiful dinners. I had a cocktail. Yeah, that's right. Um, turn up at the Niteroi. Oh, there was a wedding on Saturday night there. Of course the bride was a toaster. Like, it was amazing. She came up to me and she was like— I could tell she was trying not to get emotional. She was like, I can't believe you're here. Like, you don't understand, my grandfather's name was Ruby, and it just feels so special that you guys are here. And I was like, your grand— I never meet someone whose grandfather's name was Reuben.

Like, I'm not okay.

That goes by Ruby. She was like, yeah, no, that's my grandfather.

And I guess she like felt the presence of her grandfather through osmosis, through Ruben Sofer. So I was like honored to be there for her, and Ruby was the guest of honor.

Yeah, yeah.

I'm not okay.

It was really beautiful.

That's so beautiful. And then you went to the Knicks game.

Oh right, and then Sunday, you know, right after we checked out, we drove because we were like only an hour and a half away from Philly. We were equidistant between Philly and New York. So Ben was like, what if we went Oh, I didn't tell you this part of the story either. This is so funny. Ready? So I was like, I will go to the Knicks game with you, but you always want to go with me and the baby, and it's like, we can't sit in the stands. Like, he's a baby. I'm like, buy me a suite. Like, seriously, you want me to go? Buy me a suite.

Like, of Turt and Ruby.

Ben was like, you can't just buy a suite. I'm like, well, if anyone can figure it out, it's you, so figure it out. Lo and behold, like, two rogue tickets on Ticketmaster, like, in a suite. Like, you could just buy seats in a, like, suite. I don't know.

Yes, I guess. I guess just people— stadium, I guess.

No, but it's also like whoever owns a suite, like, they can like sell ticks, sell ticks if they only need whatever. I was like, oh, parjay! It was an amazing suite. We went like, and we got there and it was empty. I was like, well, obviously people are gonna come. Halfway through the first quarter, no one's there. And I'm like, oh my God, like, did we literally get our own suite? And then 5 minutes later, I'm like, I'm wearing Ruby in the bouncer, so I'm not the bouncer, the carrier, so I'm like bouncing him around. The door opens and like literally a school bus had just dropped off a group of religious young Jewish kids. Like, they all came running in with their yarmulkes and I was like, no fucking way. And like 4 or 5 parents, like chaperones. We were literally in and they— and of course we got to chatting. It was their suite and they were like selling some tickets and they were like, we actually had, uh, brought in kosher food but they took it at security even though we had prior authorization. I'm like, are you telling me that we would have showed up to this sweet, and it would have been fully catered kosher.

And he was like, yeah, but we had like logistical issues with the security downstairs. It was so like kismet and freaky. Like, it was, it was amazing. Of course, lovely people, you know, we all got along swimmingly. They were rooting for the Knicks, thank God.

Oh, I was going to say, are you feeling like moving to Philly? Oh no, even though attached in a kinship?

No, not at all. But you know, Philly people have a certain reputation of being just awful, um, and I have to say, some of the nicest people. I guess when you just are with a baby, like, people are nice to you, but every single person. Ruby's new thing is he goes like this, like he wants to touch everyone's hand, so he puts his hand out and everybody was like giving him high fives and stuff. And you know, he was wearing a big Knicks hat, Knicks jersey, and they all were so nice to him, even though I kind of felt bad, like the empath in me. It was like technically a home game for Philly and there was like 3 Philly fans there. Like it was when they were turning the lights off and like announcing the players, people were booing the Philadelphia players in their own stadium.

Who won? Was that the 4th and final?

Oh, Fourth and finals. Sweet. It was a great game to be at. We, we're onto the next round.

Oh, exciting. Who do they play next?

Yes. It's still playing. They're like, they are figuring it out, but Ben says it's gonna be either the Cleveland Cavaliers or the Detroit Pistons.

I'm rooting for the King Charles Cavaliers.

I know you are.

Uh, and that's exciting for Kylie and Timothy. It means more spottings.

And I almost, almost didn't get like the headphones that you're supposed to put on kids. Like I just figured like he's one, like whatever. Oh my God, it was so loud and I was paranoid. I was texting chat. I was like, I have these headphones, like I'm paranoid. They're like, yeah, you should be. You got like the shittiest pair and they're not—

cardboard.

So there I am like bouncing him in the hallway. Like, no, I didn't, by the way, I wasn't even being cardboard. I thought of it last minute. I got an Instacart from Walmart. I was like grateful to have gotten them.

Yeah.

And chat was like, yeah, you're a bad mom and this is a piece of shit and like you should leave. And I was like, wait, really? No, they were like, it's fine, but like take quiet breaks. So I was like going out into the hallway. Like I was really paranoid. I'm sure it was fine.

I'm sure it was fine, but it is nerve-wracking. I felt that way at Disney on Ice, but like I'm sure it was fine. Yeah.

No, Disney on Ice was quiet compared to this. Like, it was so—

in the front row, we were right.

I feel like it's— I feel like it's actually quieter in the front row than like the big speakers up top. So it was a roller coaster of emotions of a weekend. Highs, lows. But all in all, um, oh, and Ben very much understood the assignment when it comes to your gift. Gifts.

And you know what, when you— when you shared the gift that he got you, I remembered that he did tell me, and it passed muster, so I didn't harp on it.

I was obviously expecting like a Birkin, and the bag was small, so I was— the box was small. Yeah, right, maybe they have a new mini Birkin. And I was like, oh, okay, so it's not a Birkin. And I didn't recognize like the wrapping or anything. Sometimes Cartier, you know, they do like the white paper. I was like, what is this?

Hermes too.

Yeah, right. So I'm like, what is this? And it was actually even better. Like, I'm such a brat, me like wanting a Birkin. This was so much better. Um, he had me a bracelet made, um, with diamonds and rubies. Yes. I don't know how I didn't even think of that. Like, duh, it was so obvious. Now I am having some changes made to the bracelet, but all in all it was a perfect gift. Yeah, the thought counted, and it was a beautiful thought. What did you get? I didn't even, uh, talk to you all weekend.

Oh, I got a really cute pair of Prada, um, flats, and made even more special because like Zach went to the mall with Harry and he knows that my favorite color is pink, so they're like pink flats. You just— they're the sort of pink that like a child would be like, pink.

Oh, are they Foglie?

No, no, no, they're not. I, um, I do— I never saw these flats before, so now I want to see what other colors they come in before I like commit to this pair. But like, they're the sort of like—

I will—

once I find my pair and make sure that they're the right size, like, I'm gonna wear them every day. So they really slayed, but I might just want to tinker with it.

What is the like rule on returning a gift that like your baby picked out for you?

I think he just would want me to be like happy and wear them.

Of course, of course. So I, I'm fine with that.

Like him to the return and like make and be like a whole experience, buy him a pair.

Oh, imagine.

Yeah, but no, it was like, I know, I knew that Zach got that color because like Hartz was like, mom's favorite color is pink, it has to be.

That's really cute.

So cute. And they're really cute shoes too, and I haven't seen them yet, they're new this season, Prada.

Okay, style icon Hartz.

Hertz. Um, um, but no, it's a great, great weekend. Mother's Day, isn't it a fun one?

Oh my God, it's so special.

And like, so special. Everything is just like special. I woke up and I'm like, it's Mother's Day. Like, everything special. Yeah, like everyone come give Mommy your kisses, and they're just like special Mother's Day kisses.

And I guess because it's like such a corporate holiday that like, you know, everyone in the streets is saying happy mother— if they see you with a stroller or whatever, they're like, happy Mother's Day. So it's like on your birthday, people on the street don't know that it's your birthday. You get even more— like, we went on this nature hike and like every person we passed, they were like, happy Mother's Day. Like, I felt so loved, honestly.

Yeah, that's, that's really like a lot.

I mean, I saw a lot of people. I feel like you maybe didn't interface with as many people as I did.

No, no, no, that's strangers walking on a hike wish you happy Mother's Day. That's like very kind. That's a lot of kindness.

I mean, think about it. I have a stroller. Yeah, it's a Sunday morning of Mother's Day. And like, you know, when you pass someone like who goes the opposite direction of you, you give like a nod or You know, good job. I guess you— yeah, you say good— happy Mother's Day.

Yeah, I guess so. That's very kind.

It was, uh, really a banner. I had to wait a long time for my first Mother's Day. Yeah, because Ruby was born like 3 days after last year's, so I waited a whole— he's already turning 1 the same week of Mother's Day, which is like literally so crazy. So it felt like I kind of got 2 Mother's Days in one.

Honestly, it was a big first one.

Absolutely. I may— they all be that big, honestly.

No, honestly, they keep getting better. Like, it, it's, it never stops being cool, like, and fun and sweet.

Oh, good, good, good, good.

And like, the kids get so into it and then they're writing cards and it, it was just really cute. Everyone was just all hopped up.

Oh, good. I didn't know if it was like only special cuz it was my first.

No, I think it gets more and more special as your kids get bigger and they can really do for you, you know?

Right. And they have more of an understanding of like why we're respecting and appreciating Mama today especially. Yeah. Yeah.

It just keeps getting better. That's good.

That's good.

Better.

What else did you do this weekend?

Oh, I had such a cozy weekend, like mostly at home with Maxi. Maxi, we needed to rub faces, you know. That's what I like to do. That's what I like to do on the weekends is rub skin to skin, rub makeup-free faces with Maxi. Because during medical term—

medical term for skin to skin.

No, but we could do skin to skin during the week, but not face to face when I'm wearing makeup.

No, I get it, I get it. Because like the second you put your makeup on, it's like you can't be an involved mother.

I can't rub faces.

Yeah, I know.

And I— or I have to wait till like after I take my makeup off, so the afternoon. But I want to rub faces in the morning.

I find it shocking that you are like comfortable with rubbing faces even with your kids. Like, you're so like, don't touch my face.

Oh, the—

like, maybe, maybe you just reserve that sort of hostile energy for me though, for the rest of the world.

But for my children, no, it's open. It's— uh, there's like—

don't I feel like one of your surrogate children though? Like, let's rub faces.

No, that's actually the idea. No, but even like just other individuals, I don't want to— like, yeah, don't touch my face. My children, strangers, my children, they— even me, I don't touch like my own face.

Jax, we're seeing each other this weekend.

I know. Dear Media by night.

Dear Meteor IRL by night. We're having a—

we have to like sort of prep. We haven't really—

we haven't ch— are you staying with me?

Yeah, you asked me yesterday.

I got to prep the guest room. Um, we have to sort of prep, like we're putting on a show.

Yeah, we have prepped, and we're also improv, so there's only so much we could do.

It's an improv show.

Yeah, it's an improv show at Webster Hall. Um, so yeah, I am coming to the big city.

Are you nervous? Bright Lights, Big City.

Yeah, I'm really nervous.

From the big city, like, small town. Hey kids, mom's home from the big city.

Small town girl in the big city. 3 bucks, 2 bags, one, one Jack's.

Yeah, 3 bucks. We'll make that TikTok when you get here.

Okay, sounds good.

Two bags, one me. What else? Oh, I guess we've like dilly-dallied. There's a lot of news. Jen Fessler taking over the weekend. I actually feel bad for her.

There's a lot of news. Um, I think like some of the stories that you would think would be in the Fast Five will probably get pushed to tomorrow because there's a lot.

Weirdly, that's good.

Yeah, it is good. So I guess we could get into everything if that's all on the weekend. Okay, I guess.

Yeah, I'm okay with that.

So without further ado, it is time for the Fast Five Stories that you do need to know.

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Yeah, we bring that tote everywhere, to the playground. We like load it up every day with like snacks and drinks, and if things spill, it like—

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Our first story: Summer House star Sierra Miller accuses Wes Wilson of sleeping with Real Housewives of New Jersey alum Jen Fessler. So this sort of took over the internet this weekend.

Did you watch Tea by the Sea?

No, I didn't watch Tea by the Sea. What does he have to do with it?

Jen Fissler. Like, he just gave his take. I was— it was honestly one of his best episodes of Tea by the Sea. I was cracking.

Wait, but like, but he doesn't have any particular vested interest?

No, he likes to update his followers who like don't know what the saga is. And like, I guess Vanita made like a statement because she's like always inserting herself, and he was like, and then this Vanita— like, the way he told the story was hysterical.

Okay, so first it started, um, On, I guess, like Friday night when, uh, someone posted on Threads a statement that Jen Fessler had made.

Oh, just can we pause and talk quickly about how like Threads has weirdly been like an active— KJ from Summer House just like went viral on Threads for talking about— and it's like, why are people on Threads? I didn't realize that things were— I thought it was shut down, like for real.

Yeah, I don't know why people are on Threads. And I guess like when I see the screenshots of Threads, I— it doesn't look like a tweet.

I—

it kind of looks like a Tumblr. I don't, I don't really, I don't really process like where this is coming from. I'm just like, oh, I guess someone's phone is formatted different from mine.

Yeah, but like a lot of Summer House cast members are like on Threads. I wonder if they have like a partnership with Instagram. Like it's so random. No one's using Threads, are they? Is there stuff going on on Threads that I don't know about?

I don't know. Sometimes I get like served stuff where it's like, read the rest of this thread on Threads, and it's like, oh, I'd like to read the rest of that, but I'm not downloading Threads.

But I'm not downloading Threads, right?

Um, so here's what happened. Someone posted on Threads former Real Housewives of New Jersey friend of Jen Fessler was asked by Page Six about the summer house scandal tonight and said this about West: West is the cutest, sweetest golden, uh, golden retriever puppy dog. He does not mean any harm. He didn't mean it. He's just trying to have a good time. He doesn't want to hurt anyone. Give him a break. Then Sierra replied saying, LOL, because they slept together too. Okay, let me tell you, this set the internet nuts.

I mean It's shocking, especially because Sierra like really hasn't been slinging mud like everybody else. Like, she sort of remained above. She like, she's just taking every opportunity and becoming a socialite, and like she's gonna, you know, star out of this show. She hasn't been like in the weeds, like getting involved. So I feel like if she's gonna say something, like, she's not saying something that's not true. Like, she's not lowering herself to like start like lying.

So here's what happened since. So then the someone wrote back like, ma'am, I beg your pardon, ain't that old lady married? Oh, he got type. And then Sierra replied, that's what I thought, alongside a cartwheel emoji. Then this sort of took off like wildfire, and Jen Fessler put out a statement.

But wait, before Jen Fessler put out a statement, a video of Wes and Jen Fessler—

yes—

resurfaced. I guess at the time nobody thought it was weird, but they were just like Bravo celebrities, like, going out and being drunk together. They were just like—

and here's what the message is: we need to normalize things being weird at the time, you know what I mean?

Agreed. We need to normalize calling people out for being weird at the time.

Like, What were Jen Fessler and Wes Wilson doing, like, drunk, getting—

they were probably at like a Bravo event and then went out after, and his arm around—

audience was like living for it, thinking it's like Avengers, like a collaboration of the Cinematic Universe. And it's like, no, that's weird.

And then this morning I had seen that there was also a podcast clip from like a very random podcast, and I don't know who these people are at all, but like it was from like months ago, um, talking about how like this one of the hosts knows for sure that, um, West had slept with a housewife, and he won't say who it was, but it was definitely East Coast. And then the other co-host goes, well, it's definitely Jersey, because like your friend is with all the Jersey girls. So there is like circumstantial evidence that this is true.

Moi posted like something about someone overhearing in a bar in Bozeman.

Oh wait, I'm sorry, I don't know this. Oh my God, Bozeman, Montana.

And yeah, that West was in Montana. Like, this is old tea that now makes more sense, I guess. Let me find it exactly.

One thing about moi is like she's gonna go into the archive and find the hint that made no sense.

It says, but last summer I was in a bar in Bozeman, Montana, and literally overheard him talking to two other guys and a girl about hooking up with an old chick named Jenny who gave him the most unreal— and I think it's, it's blurred out, but I think it's BJ. Oh, in Vegas, but was super fucked up when it happened. Then Du Moi also posted a clip of Jesse and Wes on Watch What Happens Live. But wait, I haven't seen this clip. I saw a different clip of Jen Fessler and Jackie Goldschneider on Watch What Happens Live when they were asked like, who's your Bravo hall pass? And Jen like jokingly responds, and as Jen is saying Evan Goldschneider because Jackie's right there, so it's funny.

Oh, that's funny.

Jackie Goldschneider says Wes.

For Jen Fessler. Oh, and then like one of, um, her old Instagram captions resurfaced with like her and her husband being like, you're the West Wilson hall pass to my something. Like, hold on, let me find it.

No, I saw one that was like, you know, no matter how many affairs you have with guys or girls, like, I'm always yours. So it's giving like open marriage.

Okay, hold on.

So Jen Fessler I want to see what this clip of Wes and Jesse was. Can I play it?

Yeah, put it on. There's so much con—

like, all these crumbs. And then I want to read her statement because I also find it very compelling. Okay, I'm gonna play the clip. Roll the tape.

Yep. An older gal? Well, not like this, not like dating. Well, have you ever been with an older gal? Yeah, it's actually— yeah, one's kind of steep.

What?

The— yeah, the ages. It was like one-time thing. Okay, how old was she? She was very old. How old was she? Was she over 50? Yeah, but she over 60? No, not over 60, but like high 5. Okay, high 5.

High 5.

Was that a— was that a pleasurable thing for you? That was weird. It was weird, but that's like what makes— that's like what is pleasurable. Okay, dated an older—

I actually saw that when it happened and never—

she's 57.

Okay.

And I just want to say, that's like so fucking disrespectful. Like, I can't believe that like this was everyone's crush. Like, you know what I mean? Like, this is a person who literally hates women. It's weird. And why? Because she's 57. Jeff Fessler is not ugly. She's not like a circus freak. She's like a very normal, probably good-looking 57-year-old woman. It's like, yeah, it was freaky and weird and that's why I liked it. Like, you're disgusting. You're fucking freaky. I saw your new pictures. You're fucking freaky looking, bitch.

Yeah.

And The Instagram caption that's been resurfaced is an old picture from her wedding with her husband, and the caption was, happy 27. You could sleep with Wes or Amanda and I'd still say—

wait, it's really weird. When did she write that?

Oh, April 10th. So post, like, Scamander Ball. Okay, that's— and then like a funny caption.

Agreed. Yeah, that's what I meant, like guys or girls and I still say—

yeah, right.

Okay, so we saw the same thing. It's— and that also sort of makes me feel like she didn't sleep with him, or else like why would she be saying that? Now here is her statement about um, this rumor that obviously took the internet by storm. Everyone's piecing together breadcrumbs. She said, in all seriousness, and while I can't help but be a little flattered, flattered, it is not nice nor is it okay to post something categorically untrue and defamatory on social media regardless of whatever rumors or apparent evidence led you to that conclusion. That is the definition of libel. If it were true, I would have no recourse. Because it's a lie, this can get more complicated. Having said that, I hope we can rectify this. It's enough now.

Okay, so it's giving like legal language, it's giving cease and desist, you know. I am so confused because I think her statement and then like her social media activity really is that of a person who's telling the truth.

I agree.

But there is so much— like we just said, the clip, the caption— like there is so much it's not proof, but it's very leading media.

Yeah, well, when I remember seeing that West clip, and I just assumed it was like some older woman when he was younger, like, you know, like a random thing. I never thought it was a housewife, and like, or Jen, certainly not like a married one. So that to me, yeah, sure, he's been with an older woman, that doesn't mean it's Jen Fessler. So that's not that compelling, right?

Why?

I mean, maybe they've always had like a little cute thing where it's like a joke that she thinks he's cute, that's why Jackie Goldschneider said it. But I don't think that they slept together because I don't think she would put out a statement like this. And I don't know why I'm going to take her at her word, but she just seems like— I don't know, she's like an older— like a serious person. Like, if she's saying it didn't happen, of course, you know, like dangling legal action, I think she means it.

I agree, except I don't see a world in which Sierra says this unless she knows it's 100% true. Like There are so many conflicting things. Like, I just— my gut is to believe Jen Fessler because I think what she's saying sounds like she's taking it well and like, haha, but like, seriously, stop. Like, it's a good approach, but I can't imagine why Sierra, who has remained relatively uninvolved in all the drama and is just sort of reaping the benefits from this scandal— I can't imagine why the one time she like, you know, debases herself into talking about this, she would like just say a like a false rumor.

Maybe she thinks it's true. Like, maybe they did, or maybe they did. Like, maybe there was things that she saw that makes her think that they slept together and and so she just like threw it out there in like a not serious manner.

I just want to say, whether or not this is true, I just want to reiterate that I think Wes Wilson is like so disgusting. Like even that clip, which I hadn't seen until this moment, like who talks about a person they slept with like that? Like just, he's seriously one of the most misogynistic, disgusting, and I can't believe everybody like dies for him. And like people are like, yeah, I'd still smash. Like I would seriously rather sleep with Oh, why? Sleeping with anyone? I'm like, what am I talking about? But you know what I mean? You're not—

no one's asking you to sleep.

I know, I'm just saying, like, girls, women of the world, like, go out and sleep with like a fat nerd. Like, seriously, he'll be nice to you. I can't believe like this is everyone's king, do you know what I mean? He's short, he's not even conventionally attractive, and he's so rude.

Yeah, but I also want to say, if they— if he was talking about Jen Fessler, that was a couple years ago. I would imagine she saw that. Um, and she still has nice things to say about him. So I feel like maybe it wasn't her, right?

Right, right. Even though high 50s, like literally 57, there's millions of high 50s around West. No, but like, I, I just like 20.

I don't know why that clip was from a while ago. I thought it was from like pre-fame.

Wait, what clip is pre-fame? He's on Watch What Happens Live.

It's an old, like from his first season or second season.

He's still famous and he's probably still going to BravoCon. And by the way, it's more likely that they had sex before he was like majorly famous. Because, you know, I don't know, I just feel like it's more likely. I just want to say, I want to go on record thinking I do think it's true.

Oh, I want to go on record, I don't think it's true. That's classic me. Like, I just can't believe some people are capable of certain things. That's why it's not that I'm like, yeah, I couldn't believe Wes Mandeville because I could not believe a person could be so stupid. Like, I genuinely, I have faith in humanity. That's why I didn't believe it.

And it's just like, Amanda, that's your boyfriend. Like, that's the craziest part. Like, that's Amanda's boyfriend.

Yeah, he was also spotted— TMZ said he was spotted chopping it up at a wedding in like New York City. And then Gen Z intern, he was also— went to a wedding this weekend. Apparently his plus one was rescinded, which I also think is losery. Like, wouldn't that be like his random home friend? Like, that's your friend, like, let him bring his girlfriend.

Agreed.

People don't know how to act. Like, people don't know when to be mad and like how to like hold their friends accountable, you know what I mean? They just don't know how to act. Everyone's just such a follower. Like, if Wes is your friend and you're inviting him to your wedding and like everybody's getting a plus one and he had a plus one, like, let him bring a plus one. You don't know these people.

I agree. But also, like, how would TMZ know that, like, the bride and groom rescinded his plus one, you know? Maybe, like, Amanda just didn't want to go.

Yeah, well, she should have gone.

Yeah. And they are, like, moving forward full steam ahead, public relationship. Like, they just— I think they, they are taking the route of, like, the only way out is through. And, like, you just have to— so, okay, you go to the wedding. But maybe like she's had enough.

Yeah, I also like, I just can't— I mean, we've said this before, but like there's no way they're having fun. Like I think, I think it was like fun, like, you know, crushing on Amanda when she was like the most popular girl in the world. And like, how cool is that? Like every season—

I mean, do you know that video that he posted of her like doing the Macarena?

No.

What?

I don't think so.

It was posted like— now we know during their like whirlwind romance time, but like at the time everybody was like, oh, they're best friends. You don't know that Macarena video?

Hold on, I don't know the Macarena video.

And Wes posted it on his Instagram. Amanda Batula dancing video. I can't believe you don't know this video. She's like wearing a crop top. It's like started the whole thing. Hold on.

Um, is it still there?

It definitely is. I don't know if he posts a lot. It's from like a few months ago.

Oh, also some breaking news.

What?

Nothing major. Some, uh, Sierra joins Love Island USA as the After Sun co-host.

Host. Oh, I thought she was replacing—

not the After Sun, right? Who was the co-host of After Sun last year? Maura.

Oh yeah, yeah. Does anybody watch After Sun? Like, those episodes— those episodes are some of my least favorite.

Like, I've never watched one. And then like someone goes on After Sun and like says something that's supposed to be like relevant to the conversation, I'm like, but it happened on After Sun.

So, so I unfortunately physically can't watch it. That's sad.

As if like Love Island isn't enough content a week. It's literally daily, 6 days a week, an hour-plus episodes, and you're giving us After Sun? Like, give us a day off, you know? On the 7th day, let us rest.

Let us rest. I don't see the video, but it was like them in a bar and she's like doing the Macarena.

That's really cool.

She's so cool.

The Macarena is really cool.

It's like wearing a crop top. It's like the most—

okay, moving on. What I was saying was it was definitely like fun being like in a tryst with Amanda, like crushing on her when she was the most popular girl in the world. Even last summer, you know, just like every room she walks into, it's like she doesn't even have to try and everyone's like, Amanda!

Yeah, no, and she literally wears like technically black pants and a bra and it's like, Amanda Stier, like, no. And like she was in a situation like she couldn't be his girlfriend, so it's like the, the sort of forbidden element of it makes it very sexy. And now there's just like two miseries, to like uncool, unpopular.

So, you know, let's see if they want to stay together.

They have to. They need to go to the Nicolandria School of Dedication, and they need to commit to the bit. Agree. That should be on their— they should have a picture of Nicolandria on their fridge, on their front door, in their wallets. Like, that is who you are emulating.

Yeah.

Agreed, because the way they've committed to the fraudulent relationship.

Mm-hmm. So you're believing that they slept together?

That's where we're coming from. I'm getting, I'm getting swept up in like the, in the internet. Yeah, that's the most embarrassing. That video is the most embarrassing part of this whole thing.

I agree, it was hard to watch.

But like, and it's like, you have, you literally have kids, West Sage.

It was hard to watch. But if you watched it when it came out and you thought it was like, oh, my faves, look at my faves crossover.

Yeah, crossover of the year.

I didn't watch it when it came out, and I would hope that if I had, I'd say, hmm, that feels weird.

Does nobody think this is weird? Yeah.

Yeah. Our next story. Are you ready for our next story? Some really sweet news. Olivia Culpo announced that she is pregnant and expecting baby number 2 with her husband Christian McCaffrey. So Olivia Culpo celebrated her 34th birthday and then she just sort of dropped on us that baby number 2 is coming soon. And she posted a bunch of photos of her being pregnant and now it's just like, when?

How soon?

Yeah, like it's not your typical announcement. It doesn't feel like, you know, end of first trimester. It feels like imminent.

I'm just guessing, like she's giving like 20 to 24 weeks.

Yeah, but it's coming to guess. But like, if 2020— but you wouldn't say coming soon, you'd say like coming this summer, coming this fall.

Yeah, she likes to keep everyone on our toes.

I'm annoying. I just want, you know, like, that really got me on my toes and I wasn't expecting it.

I know, but she's not like 9 months pregnant. You can tell, like, just physically, unless she's like one of those girls, you know.

I know, I'm just saying, like, it was giving that thing that it's, it's leaving space for that.

Well, not to make everything about myself, but like Olivia Culpo and Lauren Elena like are my sisters in pregnancy. And so like the fact that Olivia Culpo is like moving forward with her next pregnancy, like the pressure is on. Like not to make everything about me, but I saw this and I was like, I was kind of devastated. I was like, oh my God.

Yeah.

What does this mean?

What does this mean for maternity?

Yeah.

Yeah. Did you reach out to your sister?

Of course I did.

I'm so happy for her.

I fucking love her. Like, and then I went to her Instagram to stalk and she has like 3 pinned posts. The first is her engagement. First, second is the wedding, and then the third is the pregnancy. And I was looking through her wedding pictures, like, I forget, remember all that drama about her wedding dress and like Christian McCaffrey like literally leaving hate comments on the commenters? Like, I fucking love them.

I love them too.

And then I look at the dress and it is so objectively beautiful.

I'm gonna fold again even though I agree with you.

I can't believe, and I see some girls wearing, I'm sorry, the ugliest fucking like Danielle Frankel wedding dresses that are so trendy and like, miss me with that. This is the dress that sent the internet into a tailspin. It couldn't be more traditionally beautiful.

She's so cute.

You see it?

Yeah, everything.

It's long sleeve satin, shoulder pads. Like, the root of all evil—

that's her, um, that's her announcement post. And like beautiful pictures.

The root of all evil is jealousy. Like, that's what we need to be reminding ourselves of constantly.

By the way, so when we were talking about this, how like, why can't you be jealous positive? Why do you have to be like a jealous ugly negative wench? I think negative jealousy is envy. Envy is the root of all evil.

Because like, let me be clear, I am positive jealous of Olivia Culpo right now.

I'm positive jealous of so many things.

I am positive jealous of fucking everyone. Sometimes I do teeter on like, on envy. I'm not gonna lie.

No, don't catch me being envious. I'm a positive jealous person.

Like, positive jealousy is the energy we're bringing into the future. Like, yes, it's a yes.

Yeah. Oh, also, what was like so, um, cute about Olivia is earlier this week she commented on our Instagram reel about having like no ambition since motherhood.

Oh, I forgot to tell you some major news.

Oh, okay. You got ambition back? I got what? Ambition back?

No, I— but I had enough ambition over the weekend to make a TikTok using my Real Activist, which I use and really enjoyed. And I made a TikTok just like doing my skincare in silence, and then the sound on top of it was our clip of you saying like, you, you had a field day with Rayala Octavies when I saw this thing. And Alex Earl commented and reposted it, and her comment was, oh, BRB, gotta use this sound, we're gonna go viral again. Because she said, yeah, she's gonna use the sound. I haven't seen it yet, but she said she's gonna use it. Yeah, so she reposted. I know you guys probably saw me over the weekend on Alex Earl's TikTok. Did you see?

Yeah. Oh my gosh, wait, let me go on my iPad and check it out.

Wait, if—

oh no, I don't even have a TikTok downloaded, and then I don't even know what's my login. But I do want to see— when I see you this weekend, you can scroll my phone like a toddler. Or send it to Zach.

Okay, yeah, I'll send it to Zach.

Um, that's pretty cool.

Yeah, big, big moment for us.

I've been loving my balm. I still didn't buy new makeup wipes. I've been using my balm.

You know what, I used the balm over the weekend. It was—

it was—

it was party.

It was bomb.

It's hard though, because like, I like using a makeup wipe. It doesn't get my hair wet. And if like, if I am using a balm, then like my hair gets wet in the shower. No, at the sink.

I couldn't use a balm at the sink. I couldn't do it.

It's like, oh my God, the counter is like a wall.

My shirt, my elbows.

It's true.

I use a balm in the shower. Balm. The balm.

Did you buy your balm at Staub? Callback!

No, I bought it at realeactivist.org. Dot org.

Realeactivist's website should be a dot org because they're a non-for-profit with their repost of me. It's true.

Um, okay, next story. I feel like— oh my— oh yeah, nowhere. Okay, next story, number 3. Savannah Guthrie is officially, um, moving at— in a new career move. She's the host of the new Wordle game show.

Okay, that's not where I thought you were going with like Savannah Guthrie. I thought maybe there was an update on her. No, missing.

She was back at work and, you know, things— nothing's really come out.

She—

a couple days she like kind of like left set.

I saw she left in the middle of the show. She walked off set.

She's taking on new projects as the host of the new Wordle game show. I always—

every now and then I remember Wordle and I'm like, let me do that shit.

Um, she made the announcement alongside Jimmy Fallon, who's the project's executive producer.

I feel like we talked about this so long ago. They took way too long. Wordle still has like a big following, but like the virality— I remember some— The New York Times bought it instantly. They were turning it into a game show really fast, and then it never came out, and I feel like they sort of like missed the boat.

Yeah. Um, It will start filming this summer, so if you are like a Wordle expert, you should go on.

I'm actually pretty good at Wordle.

Really? Yeah, I haven't played since the minute I gave birth to Harry. I never played again.

Wow.

Yeah, that's when we were playing, Feb 2022.

I love, um, what word do you start with? Like when you— but I know you don't do it anymore, but every now and then I always start with the same word.

I forget. I had a good first word.

I always start with great.

Oh, that's good.

Two vowels, G and R— R and T, excuse me— are like classics.

Someone will remember what I used to start with because we like used to talk about shit like that.

Wordle, like that, there was a time for that. I don't know, um, I, I actually think it's a good game for a game show. Yeah, they make game shows out of the dumbest shit these days.

Yeah, and there's like—

who remembers The Wall?

There's plenty of space for game shows, you know, like they seem to be like low cost and and everybody loves them.

And I feel like they have a hard time, like, becoming popular. There's so many game shows that, like, come and go. I love game shows. It's, like, one of my favorite genres of television. I'm actively subscribed to the Game Show Network, GSN, um, and they got the most random shit over there. They make it jizzin'. They make a game show out of everything. So I would like for game shows to become popular again.

Yeah, well, you'd have to go on Family Feud watching them. You'd have to start watching them.

I do. Did you not hear me just say I have an active subscription to GSN?

But what do you watch other than like Jeopardy?

Oh, okay, Jeopardy's not even on GSN. Wow, showing how little you know. Yeah, I watch—

as a— what game shows do you watch other than Jeopardy?

Family Feud.

Okay.

Celebrity Family Feud.

Okay.

Which we absolutely need to go on. Um, what else do I watch? There's a lot of like generic game shows on GSN, like that don't have names, but like It's like, it's hosted by the guy who does the Pitch Perfect, um, the MC with Elizabeth Banks, you know, that, that other guy. I forget his name.

Oh, hysterical. Yeah.

He record— he literally is host of 10,000 Game Shows on Game Show. People Magazine has a game show, um, like with their crossword, which I'm pretty good at. Tom. I feel like it's like Dan.

You think it's Dan?

No, I think it's Steve.

I think it's Tom. Let's look it up. Pitch.

Oh, Steve. Or like Andy. I don't know. Uh, I'm nervous. No, I'm gonna stick with Steve. Steve.

Okay, stick with Steve. Where is he?

John.

No, no, no, I think Steve was a really good guess.

Oh, okay. John. John.

John Michael Higgins.

Yes, that's his name. Yes, that feels right.

He's a John.

Well, he's also like has my dream job where he hosts all these like random generic shows on the Game Show Network.

You should shadow him for a day.

That's my dream, like doing voiceover work and hosting a game show. Not to shadow— it's not my dream to steal his job.

To shadow John Michael Higgins for a day is your dream?

No, actually, if you can believe it, John Michael Higgins better sleep with one other— one fucking eye open, right?

To him, cold email him and ask if you can chat.

I don't want to, like, I don't want to write the email and I don't want to shadow.

Did you ever shadow someone?

Oh, uh, I think you're gonna say, did I ever write anyone an email? I'm like, yeah. Um, did I ever? I don't think so. I've never shadowed someone. I can't imagine anything more boring. Did you?

I once did.

Okay, now you have to tell us who, what, when, where, why, how.

I don't want to share too much, but it was like a really, um, dreadful—

it was— what part of it was dreadful?

Like, you know, it's just like, what are you doing? Like, and you're just shadowing.

Oh, and the person you're shadowing like does not want you there. No, and it's not like they're like the president.

Like, they're just like someone with like an entry-level job that like you might want one day. And like, right, I think they should cancel that program.

Jackie, I need to know who you shadowed.

I'll tell you after. You don't know. You don't even— like, there's nothing to—

so why are you being like weird about it?

Just because I haven't thought about it in so long.

But it was just— we're actually— we're still inside that day.

This is— I don't want to say because like the person did me a solid by letting me shadow them. And so—

no, no, and you want to say person, but like what was the Context. What if they heard this? They probably felt the same way, like that it was just miserable. So true. Yeah. Yeah.

I don't think that they knew what to do with me.

What was the context? Were you in college?

I think I was in college and like you can like get set up with an alum who's like working in a field that you would be interested in. You can shadow.

And what was the field that you were interested in? Like media?

Media. Yeah.

Oh, who— I don't know this story. Who did you shadow?

You don't know them.

What company? Like what job did that person have?

Okay. They worked at— I'm not telling you because I really would never want them to hear this. And know, and know that I had a negative experience.

I think they just assumed you had a negative experience. Like, it's universal, it's ubiquitous. Like, yeah, shadowing is not a positive.

That's the company she worked for, which actually, like, it was pretty good. That's where I should be shadowing.

Oh wow. Yeah. Who was it?

No one, no one, you know. She was just like—

it's actually at one of our competitors.

Yeah, in the media space. Honestly, I was right on track for my life. I was, you know, I knew where I was headed.

Jackie, I'm texting you. I found the video of Amanda Petruella dancing, like, if you want to—

oh good. Yeah, no, I think to close the loop on that and to stop talking about my day of shadowing.

I know, anything to change the subject, even though I will push more after that.

Yeah. And oh, oh my God, you've never seen that video? No.

Okay, so he had posted this. No, no one had thought a thing about them before the rumors, like, but this was when they were clearly like falling in love.

Wait, that's really crazy. And was there a caption?

Yeah, there was. We posted it on, um, TikTok. That's why I couldn't find it.

Yeah, this is what I mean. Like, before—

it's important to note that the song she's dancing to is not the Macarena.

Drama. Yeah, before Wes Mandeville, like, she just could do the least, and it was like, like, she's wearing— yes, everyone was like this big and ratty t-shirt and like like marking the Macarena, and she's the coolest girl in the world, you know, to a song that's not the Macarena. And now it's like that, you know, she's gonna—

and I think his caption was like, coolest girl ever. Like, that was the caption.

They're perfect for each other, unfortunately.

It's true.

It's just unfortunate that things played out the way that they did, because I think they should be together. To bring it back to your shadowing, which I know you were trying to move away from, and I just think the thing about the Macarena It's a very complex—

it's obviously culturally insensitive of her to be doing it.

1,000%.

Yeah, I haven't done the Macarena forever. It's actually a good dance.

It is. One maca, two maca, three Macarena.

Hey, they ate with that.

Okay, are you ready for our next story?

What number?

4?

No. Oh my goodness.

Yeah, I don't think that you are.

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Thank you, Auntie Turt. You're welcome. Our next story— the girls are fighting. McKayla Matthews and Taylor Frankie Paul got into it over the weekend, starting with McKayla Matthews from Secret Lives of Mormon Wives firing back over criticism that she hasn't been supporting Taylor. So Kayla Matthews wrote like a really long statement on, um, Instagram saying— I want to get to them, to the whole statement. One second.

And I just, I want to say, like, a couple of weeks ago, like, I made the decision to get off the Taylor Frankie Paul roller coaster. Like, I saw all this, I saw her big Mother's Day post, I saw Mikayla. I don't really know what's going on, and I've like kind of stopped caring. Um, yeah, because also, as far as I know, like, Taylor Friggy Paul's not even filming.

Well, I think she might be filming based on what she said, but basically—

okay.

Oh my gosh. Okay, it's on. You say sorry, the justification is like on a reel. Like that.

So you live with ghosts, you forgive, you forget, but you never let it go.

So Mikayla posted this: if I was knowingly giving myself rashes, I wouldn't be expecting sympathy from anyone online or privately. Imagine someone told me, hey, we know for 100% certainty that if you stopped using this cream, your rashes would go away. Then imagine I continued using that cream while still asking people for sympathy and help.

Okay, I just want to say, this is a weird analogy. I know what she's saying because she suffers from like this really terrible chronic illness that she doesn't know why she gets these insane flare-ups, so she's trying to like relate it to her story. It's just giving like silly—

I just need to read a little bit of this so that like when I read Taylor's response, like just in context. She said, at some points my friends would probably say, we feel sorry for you, but stop using the cream so you can heal. And if I continue to use it over and over again for years, knowing the outcome every single time was the same, it'll eventually get to a point where the people who genuinely care about me can no longer enable me by continuing to give sympathy and support the behavior that is clearly keeping me stuck in an unhealthy cycle. That she said, um, so basically Dakota is the cream, right? Dakota is the cream, yes. And she continues to like, you know, engage in this unhealthy cycle and know what's bad for her and go back to it and go back to it and go go back to it. And so she's comparing it to her rashes, and she was also just explaining why she— it's a very long— I didn't even read the whole statement because it's like a lot of words. And, and at a certain point, like, I do hit— but I'm— I am actively staying abreast, but I, I have my limits.

You're right. No, there is Selena fatigue.

And so yeah, I got the gist. She's saying she's not supporting Taylor because like Taylor's doing this herself and how— and you know, she's disgusted by what she's seen, blah blah blah. So then Taylor posted on Instagram yesterday— it was It was also unfortunate because she like put it in her Mother's Day post, which I just thought was like so unnecessary.

Agreed. It also doesn't help her beat the allegations that she's like always putting the drama and everything like before her responsibilities as a mother. So like your Mother's Day post is about Mikayla?

Like, yeah, she said, um, wait, shit, I need to find exactly the the, um, thing that she said in response to Mikayla.

Another one that I didn't read in full, but the longest caption ever, but got the gist.

Um, I can't deal. I can't deal trying to find all these fucking statements.

Just go to Instagram.

I know, but the part that I'm looking for isn't here. Okay, whatever. This is what she said: it's Mother's Day, so I'll say whatever I want. As if it's not already the worst time. I still have friends kicking me while I'm down and calling it setting a boundary, and then blames me for being upset and responding. That's called shaming and attack. Why? I had a moment to breathe, and she knew that. Not once have I called myself a victim, but I'm a human. I have breaking points. What a snake friend did to me in public eye after everything she just witnessed, the lack of empathy and the bruises, yet bringing up picking sides. Yes, usually you do for friends, you know, go through that. I don't know. And then she said something about like comparing my situation to rashes and cream.

And then did you see the final photo in her carousel?

No, one second, on my way. Yeah, the— oh, the, the tears. Yeah, yeah, I hadn't noticed that.

It's like a selfie with her son. She's sitting in the front seat, her son is like poking out from the back seat, also not wearing a shirt. Stop posting pictures of your kids without their goes on, that's child pornography. And she has like mascara running down her face, but she has like a smile on for her kid. And it's just like, I hate that shit.

Yeah, that's so performative to me. It's performative. And also it's like, I don't like that message. Like, hold it in, hold it in around your children.

I keep it together.

Cry on your own time.

So to be clear, I like do have like my take on the situation. It's like a little Mikayla Matthews coded. It's like, yeah, at At what point are we gonna just start like having agency over our own lives and making, you know, taking personal accountability and like being responsible and making good decisions? But like, yeah, it is giving like a little not empathetic to the fact like she's in this terrible situation, but it's like, it's both.

Yeah, I didn't love the cream analogy.

Well, of course it just sounded stupid too. It did.

It didn't—

obviously not this exact same, like, no, because like you're not like addicted to a cream.

Yeah, and it's not like you think the cream is going to cure this one thing but it's also causing something else. She's not like using a cream, that's all bad.

Oh, and you don't have a child with the cream. Like, it's just stupid. We're going to get another Michaela Matthews hate comment.

Oh, for sure. That's okay.

First Chase and now the cream.

I've been hardened.

That's true.

No, and I feel like it would have been a better analogy if it's like there's something about the cream that you love, but it's also hurting you.

No, that's also like addictive. Like, cuz you're addicted to the cream. Maybe the cream has like crack in it. Maybe it's like drugs, like you're addicted to drugs, and like if your friend was like, maybe, maybe, okay, Okay, yeah, maybe it's like if she was smoking pot. Here's a better analogy. And the pot was giving her rashes, but the pot was also like making her anxiety.

That's what I mean.

Yeah, right there.

It's not just the cream bean.

Like, she also— she also so stupid.

She also loves the cream and is—

and also, right, right, the cream, the cream. The cream, the cream can sometimes be funny. The cream is also a gasp. We said the cream is an inanimate object.

The cream like is sometimes handsome, right?

Creams don't have feelings, you know? No, but like creams can't talk. Sometimes creams can't—

sometimes the cream has been there for her, you know, when no one else was.

No, actually it hasn't, like, because it's a cream.

She's just like not sharing any remotely redeeming qualities about the cream that like attracted to— right, that's because it's a cream that attracted Taylor to Dakota in the first place.

Like I said, I've gotten off this roller coaster. I can't with Jesse's like voice memo. Everyone's flip-flopping all over the place. Like, I seriously can't with this group of individuals. They're so moronic.

Yeah, I do like love the show, so I am trying to stay abreast like to a degree that's healthy. And like, you know, I can't read every single Instagram comment, and I'm not even on TikTok, so I don't even know the half of it. Um, and also like for the show, like, here's what's going on, uh but I have my limits for sure. And I'm not taking a side in either one of these things. Like, I understand— like, I imagine if I were Makayla—

yes—

I would not want to film with Taylor. I would not want to be associated with Taylor. I probably would have probably felt that way for a lot of years and always would have been like punished for having those— not being a team player the way that Whitney was when she was like, you know, her fans aren't going to work with us if they think we're all slinging bar stools. Like, yeah, because they all knew that that's what she did. So from like, uh, human perspective, I'm— I get Mikayla. From like the other side of it, where it's like I don't know them, and it does feel like Taylor's going through like seriously the worst a person can go through. Like, I don't feel the need to add on to it. Um, I don't know if she is gonna— like, I just don't know. So, oh yeah, that's all.

Yeah.

Our fifth and final story Jake Shane is getting slammed for asking Kacey Musgraves to explain a lyric from one of her songs, Slow Burn.

I just know that like there is a writer at Variety who like went to camp or something with Jake Shane and just hates Jake Shane, cuz this is now the second time there's been like manufactured outrage against Jake Shane. So this is coming from, from Variety. It was a Variety article there was like, maybe there was like a clip going around. It was funny. I like, everybody knows what Jake Shane meant. Like, he asked Casey Musgrave, in Slow Burn there's a lyric that's, um, in, uh, in Beijing they're headed out to work, and in Tennessee the sun is going down, basically saying how like time is different. And he was like, what did you mean by that? And a lot of people, like, people were passing around the clip, and it was like, obviously he knows that like there's things called time zones, but I think he meant sort of in the context of the song. What the fuck does that have to do with anything? Like, yeah, it's a good question actually. It's the most random lyric.

No, and also like comes— it's born of like actually his deep obsession with the song. He said that him and, and Manny, his friend who he works with, debated every single day. I think he's like very into the song Slow Burn. It's like a really great message— born in a hurry, always late.

Jackie, there was no one— no one was talking about this. And if it got passed around as a clip, it was because like it was funny, but like it wasn't— it wasn't there. Variety's like, and this is why we really, really need journalists. And it's like, no, no one was saying that.

No one was saying— reminds me of that Jake Sheen clip with Ed Sheeran when you're like Flags don't work like they used to before.

That was what my grandma felt like.

It's just like funny. And it's also like a style of journalism now where it's like almost ironic, dry.

Yeah, yeah. Um, and it's funny, like, Variety wrote a whole article about it like they did the last time with the Vanity Fair red carpet, like making these tiny non-things into things. And I was glad to see people like not getting swept up in the comments on Twitter. At least we're I'm like, literally, we— that's not what he said. And I actually think it's a good question.

No, and I think sometimes, like, when people get flack for, like, journalism, whatever, it's, like, born of, like, not knowing anything about who they're talking to, or, like, the— they're not looking, researching, or whatever. But, like, he's actually too researched on the song because he's looking into things that aren't there, you know?

No, it's a good question, honestly.

Um, especially if it's, like, sometimes you wonder about, like, someone's lyrics or whatever, and you're like, if I ever met them, I would want to ask them about Absolutely. And I feel like that's what his show is, and it's fun to watch. That's fun. We're having fun.

Yeah, somebody there really doesn't like him. I get the sense now, two times in a row, because the first one felt mean-spirited, but the first time, like, there was a little bit of backlash on Twitter about, like, his performance on the red carpet. I thought it was fucking hysterical, but people are such wet blankets. So okay, fine. I was like, but now I'm like, it's feeling intentional.

Yeah, yeah.

But someone there, like, doesn't like him.

That's so crazy because everybody loves him.

There's nothing not to like.

He's like the least offensive influencer. Brand safe. Did you see Tana Mongeau's launching a podcast called Brand Safe?

I did.

After canceled. That's kind of funny.

Yeah, that is. She just keeps saying like her thing is like she's entering her brand safe era because she's like sober, she doesn't do OnlyFans anymore, and she has brown hair.

No, but that's funny that like her podcast was canceled And now it's brand safe.

I just feel like nobody really wants a brand safe podcast, to be honest. Like, that's the whole thing about podcasts, is that like they're this renegade media. If you want a brand safe show, like, put it on cable. There's a ton of like brand safe garbage. Oh, speaking of brand safe, the roast of Kevin Hart was last night. I didn't watch it. I didn't know that was happening.

I feel like there was no commercials or anything. Today I've seen like so many stories and clips, so I figured we'll like try and watch it tonight. We could talk about it tomorrow.

Oh, I don't want to watch it. Like, it seriously looks— I, I think Rose roasts. And you know, Joan Rivers, her documentary, she— the time that they covered her was the time that she did a Comedy Central roast, and she was like, they are the most disgusting, awful, well-paid—

I don't understand why a human being would do it. And some people I can understand more than others, but I don't understand why Kevin Hart would do a roast when—

same with Tom Brady— people who don't need the money, who don't need the attention.

You don't need the attention.

Joan, in her documentary, she's like, I'm doing this for the money, like, I need the money.

Yeah.

And it was awful. Every joke, you know, my— her face, her face, her vagina. It's so misogynistic. I cannot— and like, they all get, uh, no-gos. Like, Tom Brady was like, you know, no one's allowed to talk about my family. These comedians don't give a fuck. Kevin Hart was at— I guess I didn't know this— he cheated on his pregnant wife. Oh, did I? Like, it was many years ago, and that was like the thing he told everyone not to talk about. Of course they did. Like, who the fuck would voluntarily not only get up there to get roasted, but be one of the roasters. Because if you're a roaster, you also get roasted. I saw them say the most disgusting things about Chelsea Handler. Like, who the fuck seriously would do that?

I have no idea. I can understand why people do the roast, especially if they're comedians. You know, everyone needs a little buzz, and it can be like really great for someone if they have a good roast. And especially you could always use a little attention when you're like a smaller comedian.

I do.

But Kevin Hart is like literally the biggest movie star in the world.

Yeah, I think Nikki Glaser like made her bones— like a big part of her career was being the roast—

Martha Stewart.

Like, some people use it as like PR. Yes, like Jeff, uh, Jeff— Justin Timberlake. Justin Timberlake should do a roast. He's the type of person who needs it because Justin Bieber did it when he was like kind of like this bad boy, and it was a huge part of his rehabilitation. Justin Bieber we know today is a byproduct of that roast.

Yeah, yeah. But I don't—

yeah, well-loved A-listers don't need to be doing this. Kevin Hart seriously is like the most beloved comedian.

Especially if you like have something that everyone's going to joke about that you don't like— the affair and you're pregnant—

skeletons.

You shouldn't do a roast because that's really all we're going to talk about.

Of course. And you shouldn't give a list of things not to talk about because that's like— there are certain comedians who that's all they'll talk about.

No, and it's like, why shouldn't they talk about that? Like, you know what I mean? It's something that you did and we're talking about you. Otherwise don't do the roast.

Yeah, like when Alec Baldwin did it, like like, that was a good move, you know? He is this like villain-like character, and there's so much— and he just like sort of leaned in. And I do think overall it had a positive effect on his Q score.

Yeah.

But if you're— if you have a positive Q score, there's only one place for it to go after a roast: down.

Yeah. And Kevin Hart has the best Q score.

Oh my God, he's like America's sweetheart. Everyone loves him.

Everybody.

And yeah, it was A-list. Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson. But like, seriously, I think it's so gross. Yeah. Like, ugh. Who the fuck would want to participate in that?

Well, maybe I won't watch. I just said that so that like—

uh, no, I'm like, I— but I saw some Shane Gillis. I just happen to really like Shane Gillis. Like, I thought his jokes were funny.

Like, even Chelsea Handler's?

Yeah, the Zionist one. And it left. But the funny thing is that Chelsea Handler's not a Zionist.

Yeah, and she got him back pretty good too.

Yeah, she did.

And it's like, did she write that on the fly? Because did she know he was gonna say that?

It was giving improv. Maybe it was like a couple of hours earlier and she had time to sort of like think about something.

Yeah, she got him pretty good.

Yeah, she threw that SNL slur thing right in his fucking face. That's what I mean. People have skeletons, especially comedians. Everybody has. Punch! Who would willingly show up and sign up for that? I don't know.

I could never.

Never.

Never.

Never.

Never. Or people who have their birthday party and they're like, roast me.

Yeah, David Dobrik did that, like, and he filmed it. But even like regular people, yeah. Yeah. Oh, Brian did it. Yeah, Brian Kelly. It was actually very funny. Well, yeah, I feel like if you're a person who is like deeply admired and respected by your friends and family, like they couldn't come up with such terrible things to say about you.

And a little bit feared. You've got to be feared.

Yes, yes, yes. Yeah, like Brian's was actually really like funny and like, yeah, he has like crazy stories, but like for the most part it was pretty nice.

Yeah, watch what you say. It's— yeah, roast me.

You still want— you still want those free trips?

You want those points? You want those tips? Sure, yeah, roast me.

Well, the place looks great. I mean, it genuinely always does. Our studios have never looked more beautiful.

I agree. Neither have we.

Facts. Thank you guys so much for listening to the Toast of the Monday Morning Show. We love the Fastest Stories. You need to tell everybody. YouTube, you're watching us on YouTube. Please subscribe this video, thumbs up. We're also available as podcast anywhere podcasts can be found, so it's Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and YouTube. Wherever you listen to podcasts. Find us, leave a 5-star review about how beautiful, stunning, and wickedly talented we are. Hope you guys have an amazing day, and we'll see you tomorrow.

Love ya, bye!