Transcript of The First Monday in May: Monday, May 4th, 2026 New

Good morning, girlies.

It's The Toast.

It's Jackson, Claude, and we're your hosts. It's your favorite show, the fast 5 things you need to know.

We'll start your day off swirly. It's The Toast.

I sound amazing.

Welcome back to The Toast and happy Monday. Everybody had a parjulicious, definicious weekend. Speaking of parjuliciousness and definiciousness, it's my girl.

Definitely hard on the definiciousness, wouldn't you say?

Do you think?

I think so. I think so. I feel like you bring the parjuliciousness, I bring the definiciousness.

I personally am okay with that.

It's a beautiful blend. It is blended, blended. Um, but I did have a parjulicious, definicious weekend. Thank you for asking and wishing that upon me.

So did I. It was jam-packed. Like, seriously, I just went on a 4-night run of going out. On Wednesday night, I had my mahjong dinner party. Thursday night, I had my other dinner party. Friday, I hosted a dinner party, LGBTQ+ Shabbat. And then Saturday night, I went to Polo Bar. Like, when I tell you, this life is not for fucking me. Like, I'm exhausted.

Yeah, I understand. I I went out for dinner Friday night and Saturday night, and yeah, I can say I did it, you know? I'm on hiatus.

I got home from my dinner on Saturday at like midnight.

Claudia, I got— did I tell you I got home from my dinner on Saturday at like 11:15 and the kids were still awake? They waited for us to go home.

Oh, I love them. It was really cute. You can't even be mad.

No, oh my God, not at all. I was like so excited to come home and they're up.

Okay, let's have a little sleep. Yeah, of course, that's my dream.

That's my dream. Yeah, it was honestly like not that bad. But it's crazy, and that's like, that's why we don't go out.

Correct. Um, well, not only did I do all of that, I did so many crazy things, including flat ironing my hair. Like, every now and then I just feel like, what if I just whipped out my flat iron?

It looks good.

Does it?

Yeah, your hair really can't look bad.

That's very sweet, thanks. Um, I wasn't expecting— like, I'm like blushing. Um, oh my God.

I mean, I'd be happy to like give you an insult with that as well.

No, no, no, no, just Just leave it there.

Set it down.

Nothing. Say less, bestie.

Set it down.

Um, I flat ironed my hair and then I also brought Ruben to meet Marc Shonwetter yesterday. Like, the two hadn't met yet.

God, name, name more iconic duo.

And let me tell you something about babies. Like, they really, they bring out just like this energy in people. Like, obviously Marc, it's an older gentleman. When I tell you I've never seen him so lit up and enthusiastic. He was like jumping up and down. It was so cute. It was so fucking cute, like bucket list moment for me.

That's precious.

It really was. And let this be your sign to make a donation to the Mark Schoenwetter Holocaust Education Foundation.

Of course, make it your sign. Do your good deed.

Make it your sign.

It's Giving Tuesday.

Make sure to give. Oh, speaking of yesterday— not yesterday, excuse me, Friday, which just feels like yesterday— marks 5 whole shows. We have made it an entire week. Let me just update my board here without making it a story. Without talking about Licks vs. Lex in a formal capacity, there was kind of some stuff to talk about over the weekend. Like, I'm afraid that we might—

we might delve in. I didn't choose it as a story, so it won't be a formal capacity, but I did like want to talk about SNL.

Oh yeah, I wasn't even going to talk about that because like that was so unfunny. Like, good on them for like knowing what to talk about, but now like just do it better.

Oh my God, that was crazy and like misogynistic, I find. So hateful towards women. Hateful.

Absolutely.

I'm Alexithin. I'm Alexithin.

Well, they're both more successful than you. I honestly found that insulting. I completely agree. So reductive, which is my new favorite word. That is my new fucking favorite word. I've been saying it a lot.

It's really a good one.

It's reductive, don't you find?

Yeah, this segment was reductive, insulting to women.

It was also F1 weekend, which takes place in Miami, which like Alex Earle was the queen of. But there were a couple of things that happened that of course, just like, 'cause I'm a shit starter and like I like to see things through the Lix Lex lens.

Of course. Well, then we'll do an S1 recap story and we'll sneak it in. There was also Derby weekend.

Oh my God, I was just tearing up on TikTok watching my queen, the female horse trainer, just like— have you seen the video of her reacting from every angle?

The one where she's watching the race?

Yeah, where she's kicking her feet like the horse. Did you see it from the back?

Oh no, I didn't. Let me see.

Okay, I've seen it from the front, the side. The back is the best angle because you don't see— she's like standing up against the wall and she's kicking her legs on the wall like imitating the horse's gallop. You have to watch a video from every angle. Like, it just gets better every time you see it.

And she made herstory. Like, that's some real herstory. First female trainer to win the Kentucky Derby.

Absolutely.

Like, some of women out here are talking the talk.

And she— no, there's, there's multiple different types of women. Like, there are women galloping the gallop, making fun of other women on SNL and diminishing their accomplishments in a quite reductive way. And then there's a horse trainer whose name I can't remember, but she's a queen.

Yeah, she's Queenie. Queenie of the way.

Queenie.

Queenie of the way. Yeah. It's kind of like a big weekend for events, for racing, whether you like to race horses or cars. That seems to be the theme.

Theme of the weekend racing. Yes.

And theme of the weekend, my husband's birthday. My husband celebrated his birthday. That's why I had such like a poppin' weekend, you know, bus club.

Yeah. You normally would never go to dinner.

Hyundai Palisade. Because we went out for dinner Friday night as a family and then we went out to dinner, the two of us Saturday night. And we actually tried to remember the last time we went out to dinner, the two of us. And I could not remember a time. And I remember last year we didn't go out for his birthday, so it's literally, I think, over a year since we went out.

I feel like that's actually not that crazy.

So we had our annual dinner date, but did you take your annual photo? We didn't take our annual photo because I, I wasn't loving my outfit. But now I realize, like, even if I didn't post the photo, we should have—

it's a time capsule—

had the photo because, like, it's just a marker of time, uh, the significance of the passage of time.

You actually should just take one today so you have—

well, we got a, we got a lot of good like family photos this weekend. Okay. But you know, our, our couple's photo didn't make it. Um, so, and you know, to our credit, we do go on some lunch dates, so it's not like we haven't been on a date in the year, just not a dinner date. It's just hard, like with bedtime. I mean, look, it didn't work.

Didn't work. I love lunch.

Love lunch date. Invite me to lunch. Always free at lunch.

Lunch.

Yummy, yummy.

What else can I tell you? Because you and I haven't really chatted offline about our weekend.

I was so busy with my festivities, and we had, you know, like a little soiree yesterday. You know, some of the basketball guys came over with their families. We got a ball pit. Highly recommend.

That's cute. That's cute.

Highly recommend. And the kids slept so late this morning because they were so wiped out from the ball pit. It was party.

Oh my God, Ruby also slept till 8. I actually felt like weird till 8 AM. I was like, teenager. Yeah, I was like having my coffee. I flat ironed my hair while he slept. I was like, what? Yeah, I was genuinely like so like confused that I didn't know what to do with your hands. And I didn't want to blow dry because I didn't want to use my Dyson Airwrap because I didn't want to wake him up. So that's why I flat ironed my hair. Thank you for reminding me.

It all makes sense.

Um, but you know what? This weekend is Mother's Day, my very first.

How are you celebrating?

Sick that it's going to be Ben's second Father's Day and it's my first.

Yeah, but it's so much more special that it's your first and obviously we're gonna make such a bigger deal of it.

Of course, I'm expecting like the biggest gift ever. Like I'm expecting a push present 2.0 and I'll actually be mad if I don't get one.

Does he know that?

Oh, I feel like he knows.

You've made your expectations clear.

No, I haven't because I wanna give him the opportunity to rise to the occasion.

Yes.

Like, no, I, if he doesn't understand the gravity of this moment, That he's not the man I thought he was, honestly.

I'll just, I'll give him a ring.

He's not the man I thought he was.

I'll drop it in combo.

Yes, we're actually taking a trip.

To the Cape?

Yeah, pretty much. We're taking a little trip.

You're not gonna tell us where, like I'm—

No, what, do I want you to come shoot me? Right, right, so. One thing about me, I'm never gonna tell people where I'm going on this podcast. Of course. Like I will lie to the day I die.

Of course, so.

Like you can come kill me? I don't think so.

Will you text me where you're going just so I can imagine it in my head? My head.

Yeah, I don't think you know it actually.

And I can set the scene.

It's just like a party, like a party little spot. Yeah. And then we're actually ending it on Sunday. We haven't, um, we haven't got the tickets yet, but you know, Sunday is the first— or no, maybe the second game of the Knicks playoffs, and we're going to go. I told Ben we could all go as a family. I actually think that would be so fun, cuz you know, like, the Knicks playoffs means a lot to me because we were watching when Ruby was born, right? And like we can go. But I told Ben, like, obviously, like, I can't— like, Ruby, we have to, like, sit in a suite. Like, I'm not going to— like, you know, you can't— I can't just go. So it's going to be a really expensive weekend for Ben, but I'm okay with that.

The sweet life of Gruben Rubin.

No, I'm so excited. Like, literally, the level of excited I was to go to St. Barts and, like, pop my pussy, like, doesn't even compare. Like, I'm so fucking excited. Oh my God, I can't fucking wait. Like, I'm so excited.

That's really cute.

And, like, yeah, let's just, like, load up the car with shit and go, you know? Like, let's fucking go.

Yeah, yeah. I'm excited. I can't wait.

Even though, like, one thing about me— and it's not me, it's actually my husband— is like, I can't load up my car with shit ever because my car stays loaded, fully loaded. It is so annoying. We have one car. We literally have one car. Ben uses it as a storage facility because just a baseline in there, we have his golf clubs, which takes up the whole trunk, and like always bare minimum, like a couple cases of Spritz and then the travel stroller. I can't— I cannot load up my car. Like, I don't have— it's so— when Ben pulls up, it's almost always a fight. Like, he goes and gets the car, I get everything ready, and then he comes and picks us up. When I get in, it's always a fight. Like, there's shit everywhere. Yesterday the back seat was full. I guess he had interviewed Snooki. She gave him a couple of bags of merch. Like, just take it upstairs. Like, bring it home. He just loads up the car with crap.

Yeah, damn. I know that's your cross to bear.

It is the source of so many arguments in my house.

I can imagine, because it's also crazy because it's like Claudia has a car, so like if you go and pick someone up like from the airport, say, it's like, oh no, we actually can't fit your luggage. Oh, I forget where it—

like, and this has been— this is a, um, a hereditary thing because Ben is— this is a learned— one time Ben's used his parents' car to like pick me up, I think from my dorm room in college. I was like moving out. He came and picked me up with a completely full car. I was like, where are my suitcases supposed to go? Like I was, I was moving.

I was literally moving. Right.

And there was a full car. Oh my God. It was insane. It's a lot. It's like a decades-long argument between us.

Yes. You need a bigger car.

We have a huge car.

It's not huge.

But you know what?

It's not huge.

The next car, I completely agree. The next car, like I'm getting a Chevy Suburban or an, uh, Cadillac, uh, Escalade. Like I need an Uber Black.

Yes. That's, yes, you do.

We're 3 people, 2 and a half. Like, it's insane how much space we take up.

Gruben, he takes up all the space in his Maxi Cosi.

Yeah, he uses Charlie's car seat, even though, like, I was reading— TikTok will make you afraid of everything. I was reading, like, you really should not use a used car seat, but it's more so like a thrifted car seat, cuz you don't know, like, the safety. Like, it's you, I know, like, it still works.

And also, like, when you get into a car accident, you're supposed to immediately replace the car seat, cuz, like, the, you know, it, it's sort of like it could, the mechanics, it's a big one. Like it's, it's, it's a one and done.

It's a one-time thing for sure.

But that car seat just sat there in the Tesla for, for a year and a half. It's totally fine. It's really, aside from all the crumbs, it's good as new.

Well, we got our car like detailed and you know, they cleaned the car seat. They also took it out. I could not figure out how to put it back in. I was about to literally go to my local fire station. You know, if you take your car seat to the firehouse, they know like, well, like they know how to do it and they'll teach you and they'll do the whole thing. I could not, it is the most complicated thing on the planet.

Yeah. Those things will have you just—

they will have you institutionalized.

Like a blind rage.

A blind rage. It's insane. Like, and you're like bent over trying to watch a video. Oh my God. Like misery.

When I went to take the Maxi-Cosi out of my car, like for the final time, like I'm shocked. I, I'm shocked it goes back together because I— a direction was not followed. I was like, you know, superwoman human strength, like ripping it out of my car. Oh good, so, so maybe you do good.

That's good.

That's good.

You do need a new one.

Well, if the fire station didn't say anything, then it's fine.

I didn't go. I ended up being able to figure it out. But also, like, in the city, you're doing it like while double parked and like people are honking at you. It's so fucking stressful. There's not like a peaceful place to install your car seat.

Yeah, no, there's not a peaceful place.

You have to do it in like at like 3 in the morning just so there's no other traffic and you can make it like—

they'll steal the car.

Yes, so true. It's honestly peaceful. It's so difficult. It's not peaceful, it's just quiet.

Yeah, maybe you can do it during your weekend this weekend. You have to leave the city.

Literally, you have to leave the city to install your car seat.

That's why she's taking a relaxing weekend.

And classic true to us form, when we first— when I was like 9 months pregnant and you were like, you want to start doing prep things, so we installed the Doona car base in the middle of like a busy road. It was so loud, it was so stressful. Ben pulls up, the car is completely full. I wanted to kill him. The trunk was full. They must have been having an event, like spritz buckets, spritz and umbrellas, spritz placemats. Oh my God, that— I was like moving stuff around and I put the spritz buckets on the floor and they like cracked, and he was so mad. Like, it was— and I actually ran into like two Toasters who were like, oh my God, Jordy. When I tell you that, like, there are two Toasters out there who have genuinely seen me at my worst Actually, that happened yesterday. I, the lowest possible thing happened to me.

You fell. No. Okay.

The second lowest thing. So we went to the Short Hills Mall, which is like a famous mall and I've never been to, it's just like a very, it's just a mall, but it's like famous. And, uh, we ate at the Cheesecake Factory. Of course it was delicious. And then we started walking around, but you know, within 5 minutes I had to go to the bathroom like so bad. And we're in the middle of the mall. I don't know where the bathroom is. So like run into Free People and I just, I'm like, where's the bathroom? And I'm like, I'm in distress. If you know what I mean. And the sales associate is like, 'Tardy?' I was like, 'Seriously, not now. Like, I'm not okay.' I was like, 'Hi.' I was like, 'I will come back to the Free People store. Just please point me in the direction of the toilet.' It was up inside second floor of Bloomingdale's. I made it within an inch of my life.

There wasn't like a special one that she could give you, like inside the Free People? So when Free People salespeople have to go to the bathroom, they go up, go to Bloomingdale's. They go to Bloomingdale's. Yeah, doesn't seem efficient. Did you buy anything good at the mall? Did you buy anything good at the mall?

You froze. So did you. Uh, yes, I did buy something good at the mall. Miss Satchel Lou's birthday is this week, so I had to get her a present.

Of course. Um, of course I already did that.

Ben got some pants. Classic.

And yeah, love it. Did Ruby like the mall? Oh my God, it's a magical place for children.

It is. It's very like stimulating. There's a lot to look at, lots of people. And one thing about my son, like his party trick is that he waves to quite literally anyone. And he was in a real waving mood. And like everybody thinks they're special, like, oh, he waved to me. It's like, yeah, okay, who are you? Like, it doesn't matter. Um, and everyone was just like— he was literally holding a meet and greet, like waving, shaking hands. It was so cute. Kissing babies, literally.

That's so cute. You need to take him to American Dream.

I know, once he's a little bit older. Malls are everything.

The American Dream, like, it's the craziest mall.

That's why when I went to the Short Hills Mall, which has been like really amped up— it's just a luxury mall, like they have— I don't think they have Hermès, but they have everything else, like Chanel, Prada, and It was beautiful, of course, but like it's just a mall. It's like a building with stores.

Yeah.

And American Dream has just like, if you guys don't know, American Dream is this insane mall in New Jersey that has a water park, a roller coaster. It's Lego Land.

A ski mountain.

Yeah, a mountain. I learned to ski there.

A mountain that you can ski on. They have Angry Birds mini golf.

Yeah, it's in, it is the, oh, you, if you've seen any of MrBeast's videos about like hiding in a mall, he does it at that one.

And they have concerts.

The Jonas Brothers hosted JonasCon there.

At the water park. They have, uh, like Shrek World. Every character— they have a— they have roller coasters.

It's fucking crazy.

They have a hockey rink. We took in a women's hockey game.

So— oh yeah, right. And it was an international game.

I think it was like India versus Lebanon.

Literally, that's why now when I go to a mall, I'm like, oh, it's just like a mall. It just sets this— the bar really high. Yeah, because American Dream is not a mall. It's the craziest place you'll ever—

they had a jerky store. We got kosher beef jerky. They literally have everything.

It's also like, I don't know if it's owned by Jews or it's in a very Jewish area because it's like almost all kosher. Like there's so many kosher options. If you go there, it literally looks like mini Tel Aviv. Like everyone there is religious. And it's across the street from MetLife Stadium, like where Taylor Swift performs. Let me tell you, it's bigger than that. Like just if you're not from New Jersey, the tri-state area, trying to like for scale, it's 3 times the size of MetLife Stadium. It's fucking crazy. Yeah. Oh, and there's a Yard House.

Oh, of course.

That's where I went. I pregame for Morgan Wallen there.

And what's the name of MrBeast's restaurant?

Beast Burger.

Beast Burger. I dined there.

Oh, they have a facility?

They have a Beast Burger at American Dream.

Oh, interesting.

All the restaurants are like fake, like you never heard of them before. I'm shocked they have a Yard House. They all look like, I don't know, AI-generated.

Oh, I love that. Like, kind of remember that, remember that video game, um, Dream Life? Where like you would go to school and like go to your job and look at the bulletin board. Like, it looks like that.

Yeah, it does.

With like the fake storefronts.

For sure. Fake storefronts for sure. The food is like 3D printed.

Yummy. Yeah, right.

Yummy.

No, American Dream is like the future.

Yeah, you, you guys are living in the past.

And like they have these motorized, um, like rocking horses that like the kids— it's like these huge stuffed animals that you can ride around. They're motorized. It's— it is the craziest place.

Toys R Us activates there with a miniature train, and you can ride around the mall in a train. They've literally thought of everything.

It's the craziest thing.

Honestly, couldn't be more perfectly named. The American Dream Mall. Yeah, it's the American Dream.

What show were we watching where, um, was it Love is Blind? Like Minnesota, where they're known for their mall?

Mall of America.

Mall of America. It has nothing on the American Dream Mall.

No. And Mall of America had us in a chokehold from those Mary-Kate and Ashley movies.

Absolutely. No, and it is— maybe it was at one point really impressive, but now I don't find it.

It doesn't hold a candle.

You can literally skydive at the Mall of America. I mean, at the American Dream.

Yeah. No, it's wild. So if you have a chance to go check it out, I'm on there.

This episode is not sponsored.

Everybody's here. We just go on about the American Dream Mall. I'm on their email list, so I like always see the latest and greatest. And it hurts, you know. And you know what's crazy, you asked me on the Patreon if there's one thing I miss about living in New York, and I said the American Dream. It's the American Dream Mall. It's proximity to the ADM.

Absolutely.

That's the one.

Well, well, now the place looks beautiful.

We've done a free advertisement. Let's get into the real, the paid ones, shall we?

Oh, I'm so down to support our sponsors.

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Thank you, Tertara.

You're welcome.

Thank you. I've stopped holding out hope.

Good, good. I've lowered the bar.

Hurts too much, you know?

Yeah, out here in the cold waiting for a drama, waiting for a Waiting for a Gertra.

Our first story, F1 Miami Grand Prix was this weekend. The stars were out, also Kentucky Derby. So let's just say, you know, both racing weekends. I feel like that happens every year, the two races are on the same weekend. How do you choose which one to go to?

I do actually think that like the types of people that are drawn to each event are so different. Like F1 is much more sceney, it's very Instagram, like it's like It's very, uh, Miami. And Kentucky Derby is like so Southern Belle, like Madison LeCroy.

Yeah, well, there were a bunch of reality stars there with Amazon. I think they made a bunch of content, Bravo people. Yeah, that's where Madison was.

I wouldn't see that.

It's like Ashley Darby, Aaron Leachy, Madison, Ashley I, Giannina, of course.

Giannina, your favorite.

What's the Kentucky Derby without Giannina? Giabelli.

Balaclava, balaclava, balaclava.

Hortzman, my faves. They're going strong, by the way. Annual reminder that Giannina and Blake Hortzman, like, are happily ever after.

It's actually sweet.

It's so sweet.

Um, they have one or two babies.

Oh, I think one.

One. Um, cute.

But yeah, no, and I think last year I asked, like, which one would you rather go to, Miami Grand Prix or Kentucky Derby?

I think the F1.

Yeah, so F1 popped off. There was like Carbon Beach, all the girlies were in attendance.

I obviously was like over-fixating on Stassi and Alex Earl hanging out because just anything Alex Earl does these days, like, I'm looking at through the Licks vs Lex lens.

And anyone who publicly is engaging with either of them is like putting out some sort of message, I feel. And it wasn't just that they took a photo together, which of course it's Alex Earl and their friends, and she was, she was her first guest on Get Real with me. Well, so Yeah, but the picture that Stassi posted of the two of them, they're like laughing, like cackling. It's just giving like, we're laughing at you.

And I think the caption was like, a time was had.

It was just giving like, we're laughing at you. I'm team Lix.

This isn't the first time that Stassi has entered my mind in the Lix Lex arena, because yes, she historically has been friendly with Alex Cooper. She went on Call Her Daddy I think twice, and then has done like Unwell events.

But then she did get Raelle with me, which actually I don't think that's a big deal that she did get Raelle with me.

No, you can do both, because also some people have been—

she did get Raelle before the beef was public.

Well, was public, yes. Now, as in, the know have been knowing.

But I mean, look at Nikki Glaser, she did the two in the same week.

Like, yes, yes, but Nikki Glaser is not from this world. Like, she's just like doing press. Stassi's like friends with people.

You didn't have to make a choice until the Monday after Coachella.

Oh, today's the Met Gala!

Today is the Met Gala, yes.

Oh my God, when I went to Polo Bar on Saturday night, it was so busy and so backed up, and I was like, what the hell is going on? But then I realized it was a Saturday night before the Met Gala, and I, I was trying to have my head on a swivel. It's like so annoying when you're like at dinner with someone and they keep looking around, so I was trying not to. I didn't see anyone.

Who were you with?

Uh, Ben's friend Pete Alonso, former Met, current Oriole, and his wife Hailey.

I guess everyone's on a swivel looking at Turti and Pete Alonso.

No, it's so crazy. I'm not like big in baseball, so I don't really know, but like people are fucking obsessed with him. And I've gone to dinner with him a lot when he was a player in New York, and I was wondering if now that he's moved over to Baltimore, like maybe people are gonna like hate him. No, they just love him so much. Like, they're like, come back, come back. Oh, it was really sweet. So, and I was having such a good time, I really wasn't like looking around. Although I did see Adam Mosseri, who like knew Ben, of course. Like, Adam, the head of Instagram. Yeah. Um, but that was only like celebrity I saw. I guess Instagram, they like do like a sponsorship at the Met Gala, right?

I think you were the celebrities at Polo Bar. That's what I'm trying to say.

Maybe the celebrities are the friends we made along the way.

No, because you were them.

Yeah, no, you're right.

They existed and they were you and Ben Celebrity and Pete. Pete.

Totally.

Pete Alonso was the celebrity at Polo Bar.

Yeah, I guess it really was Pete.

Like, so everybody's looking at you guys.

So true. It's so hard. I have no privacy. Um, so Meg Alice, tonight the city— I was also walking like on the Upper East Side by the park on like Friday and Saturday, and they already have like the barricades up. There was no people there. I was just like, why is the whole road barricaded? And then I realized I was near the Carlisle.

So tomorrow's gonna be a fun toast. Yeah, not that today isn't.

No, always, but it's a big weekend.

Yeah, and but we came off of a big weekend, so Miami, Kentucky, I guess everyone's gonna head to New York. Any other Licks vs Lex notes that emerge from this weekend for you, aside from Saucy and SNL?

Yeah, neither of the girls—

well, the publicist as well. Alex was making like— Licks was making a big— she was with Kate Bailey like the whole weekend.

Who was the fourth? Yeah, but it's Kate Bailey's event.

Yes.

No, she is Carbone.

I just felt like it was like a, a flag in the sand.

No, I feel like maybe you're just noticing it because I feel— I think that they're always like that.

I just felt like it was like, as my kids would say, nana nana poo poo.

LOL. I feel like neither one of the girls like acknowledged the SNL skit. Like, to be referenced on SNL when you're like a digital creator is such a big deal. And they've referenced Alex once before Cooper, and she like made a whole video about how crazy it was. And obviously they didn't do that this time, but like, do you— like, it's so cool even though I guess it's like this awkward thing because it's your beef.

Yes, but I think that it was also offensive. Like, it was.

I agree.

Really? Like, they obviously didn't know anything about either of the girls or the beef. Not that the beef is so real and is a lot of like, say it, no, I'm gonna say it, say it.

Like, yes, that, by the way, that part is clever. Ever.

But the way that they were talking just so obnoxiously, like, you know, stupid girls, like, I, I think it was offensive. Um, yeah, Brianna Chicken Fry caught a shout out.

That's exciting for her.

Yeah, it is. It was funny. Well, no, it wasn't, but it was something, you know.

Yeah, no, and it's— it is such a big deal culturally to be referenced on SNL that, um, the fact that neither one of them even like commented on it, or good or bad, I'm curious.

Well, I saw a headline that Alex Earle responded to it, but it was like—

maybe she left a comment.

It was, um, you know when websites like make a video, like a horizontal video for the article?

I do know when websites make a horizontal video for the article, and I fucking hate it, and I'm never gonna click play.

I'm gonna click X instead. So I didn't get to find out what she said because I was not watching that video, that ad-supported video. Where they have like—

maybe let me just see it. Alex Earl, their own—

I'm curious, like, narrate just—

she reacts to the sketch. She— a follower commented under a TikTok video of Alex Earl getting ready for F1 and asked if she watched— oh, asked if she watched the parody, and then Alex Earl responded, yes, I'm laughing, with a crying emoji.

Great.

Okay.

Also, Olivia Rodrigo hosted.

She did. She's She's so, um, cute. Like, she's so cute and pretty, and she's so talented. And I think that when you— because I was seeing a lot of like discourse about her current song and then her new song. I don't know if you saw that, like, the leader of her fandom made a public letter, an open letter, that was like, we're worried about your album because this song sucks. Like, there's been like a little bit— not backlash, but it hasn't been as widely positively received as her previous works. And I just feel like there's really only one place to go from where she started, which is down, because her first album was like so historic and so legendary. And I actually think her second album was such an amazing follow-up. Like, you don't usually follow up to something as iconic as that with something honestly just as good, if not better. Guts is so good. Or no, Sour. Yeah, Guts is— which is the first one? I don't remember. Um, but I just think she's such a cutie and she's very talented, and I wish her the best. I really do.

Yeah. And you saw she was like joking about Jake Paul.

I did. And then I saw Jake Paul responding, and he kind of like wasn't— was not receiving it as an insult. He sort of refused to be insulted. I did not know that they were on the same show. I knew that Jake Paul had a brief Disney Channel stint as Bizaardvark. I didn't know Olivia Rodrigo was on that show.

Me neither. What did Jake Paul say about what she said?

He did a green screen video to the monolog where she basically said, you know, I started my career on Disney. I was on a show called Bizaardvark. Actually, one of my castmates is Jake Paul, and you know, we used to always talk about our futures, uh, and it was so— it was actually really patronizing what she said.

She was like—

she was like, yeah, I mean, I would tell him how I wanted to write about the complex emotions of girlhood for girls my age, and he told me he wanted to beat up old guys. It's like, girl, chill out. You're a pop star, okay? You're not Shakespeare. Like, what you do and what he does is actually not that different. Like, you entertain people. It was a little patronizing. And if you wanted to be insulted, you absolutely could. But Jake Paul, I think, was just excited, and he made a video, and he was like, let's go. He was just like letting it play in the background. He was like, yeah, we did. Yeah, we did. It was very— it was— he took it like in a sweet way.

That's really cute.

Yeah, even though it was like kind of rude.

Of course it was.

Yeah. And it's like, she just— the way she described what she did and the way she described what he did, like, you're both entertainers, and it's like, I write about the complex emotions of girlhoods for young coming-of-age women, and he beats up old guys on Netflix, where it's like you— yeah, like, you write songs and he, you know, is achieving the physical manifestations of his dream. It's just words, you know?

Yeah, for sure. Well, that's what the stars were up to this weekend at their various races and parties.

I am excited. What livestream are we watching for the Met Gala tonight? There's like never— there's like the Vogue one, right? Who have they announced who's hosting?

Yeah, they did.

Vogue Met Gala livestream. I'm so curious because they've stumbled upon some like really good hosts, and I feel like they've made a lot of careers for— like Emma Chamberlain, I don't think she did a lot of hosting before. Um, and then sometimes they kind of like miss the mark.

I feel like they did announce a bunch of people.

I mean, LaLa Anthony, hopefully she gets the gig again. She's so good.

I don't know who's Vogue, who's E!, who's like random Instagram.

Okay, host. Okay, um, host Ashley Graham. Lala Anthony and Cara Delevingne will be taking viewers through the fun and fashion, with Emma Chamberlain reprising her role as a red carpet correspondent. So Lala Anthony and Emma Chamberlain are proven— they have an excellent track record. I think people really like them, they know them personally. Cara Delevingne does give me that same vibe where like I think she's friends with a lot of the people and she has a big personality. And same— I don't know if Ashley Graham is friendly with so many of them, but she does have a good personality and she's very professional.

Ashley Graham. You know, she can do any job that's given to her. I feel it's actually so— she's a hard worker.

Not one entertainment journalist— I guess LaLa Anthony technically like has a history.

Yes, she does.

You see, North West had like an album release party or something.

I saw about it.

I didn't— and her mom wasn't there?

No, I thought—

because Kim's in New York. It was last night. Kim's in New York.

No, I thought she was there. I saw a picture of her.

I only saw Kanye.

Wearing the— I don't know, I— like I said, I didn't look too closely. I am—

she's really young. I feel like when I look at her and I'm like, oh, she's like, yeah, 16, like they're finally like emerging. No, she's literally 12.

Like, yeah, and it's like, I'm not the target demo. I'm like an old lady. It's absolutely— miss me with that.

Hard on the old lady.

Yeah. Um, our next story, some new bebé news. Cameron Diaz and Benji Madden welcome baby number 3. So Cameron Diaz and Benji Madden have shared that their third baby has arrived. Uh, He wrote, Cameron and I are happy, excited, and feeling so blessed to announce the birth of our third child. They shared the infant's name, which is Nautis, and he said, welcome to the world, son. We love life with our family. Our kids are healthy and happy, and we are grateful. So they, as a reminder, have a 6-year-old named Radix, a 2-year-old named Cardinal, and now a bebe named Nautis.

I just love these two. I I love the whole, like, who are the Madden brothers' parents? I feel like they're both such fine young men who were like even raised in the public eye and ended up being, as far as I know, like true standup husbands, partners, fathers. They both like love their private little lives and they love their wives and they love having babies. And then you see them esthetically and you just wouldn't think that cuz they're like rockers.

Yeah. Like tatted up bad boys, tatted up rockers.

I just, and I just fucking love that Cameron Diaz, like, yeah girl, do, live your life. Like, don't give us nothing, you know? Like, she doesn't act, she gives us nothing.

She gives us a glass of wine.

Yeah, an Avaline. Um, but like, that's what I want for her. I want you to continue giving us nothing and continue enjoying your inner peace.

She's earned the right.

Absolutely.

So mazel tov to the Diaz Maddens.

Nautis Madden.

Beautiful. I think it means like Voyager.

Okay, Voyager.

Yeah, it means sailor, navigator, voyager, one who embarks on a journey and fears not the unknown.

Cameron Diaz is also 53, which I just feel like needs to be said. That's my queen right there.

Yeah.

Yes, Miss Thug.

Yeah, though, you know, putting the biological clock on its head. Well, we don't know How?

Inception. Yeah, but slay. Like, yeah, you can be a mom at 53.

Yes, yes you can.

And as Edna Turnblad once said, you're timeless to me. I've been singing so much Hairspray. Like, bath time is when I sing Nicest Kids in Town. I like put on a whole performance and like, it's the echo, it sounds really good. And I've been watching also Your Friends and Neighbors, which, uh, James Morrison is in. And so I've been having like a lot of Courtney Collins energy flowing throughout my home. And I love it. I, I, I think it's literally the best movie ever. It's the best soundtrack ever. I just, I just wanted to say that.

So who do you think Ruby is in Hairspray?

Oh, Link, obviously. I'm Tracy. Like, Link, he's so Link Larkin. And I'm Rue. Every afternoon when the clock shines for ya. I can't, we can't go down this road because I'll never stop.

I know, like we already did our American Dream one, like we can't have two random tangents.

Honestly, we're, the laws of physics don't allow us to do a Hairspray monolog and an American Dream monolog in the same episode. We'll have to do it tomorrow.

We're at our quota for random shit. Like, because I think we're at like—

yeah, we're fine, we're so fine, we're fine, we're fine.

But we are at our quota, unfortunately. We have to stick to the news now.

Oh, we forgot Queenie and Weenie on Friday.

I didn't forget.

I completely forgot. I just want to let you guys know I dropped the ball. I'm sorry, because the installments mean everything to me and they mean nothing to Jackie. And that's why this show is so amazing, because like the duality of both—

because of the installments.

No, no, no, because like I'm like such a pusher for the installments and you're such like a hater that like like our energies are so opposite that they actually like neutralize one another.

Of course. And that's important in general, having a yin and a yang. Absolutely. So to speak. Our next story is some slomo news. First, Whitney Levitt makes a shock Mormon Wives exit announcement during her Chicago finale show. So Whitney Levitt did her last show on Broadway as Roxie Hart in Chicago last night, and she announced in the middle of the show, reading like a fake headline, where she announced that Whitney Levitt Whitney Self is leaving The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives and she's not filming.

But she's not filming.

Certainly not.

Don't think this comes as a surprise. I think the, uh, the way she announced is like a slay also. She didn't even like make it a big deal. The show is like, is it filming, is it not? It's kind of a hot mess and she sort of managed to untangle herself from it. And I can't imagine like a healthy person wanting to go back to that. Like, she seems really happy. Um, and now things are getting so messy. I'm sure this part 2 of your story is this, the voice memo from Jesse Draper. So I, I feel like she's successfully made a career for herself outside of this particular show, and it really does not serve her, her family, her mental health. Like, I, I can't imagine wanting to be a part of this group. It seems so toxic. But I think a lot of them, like, feel so rooted, like they have to.

They—

she doesn't even live there anymore.

Like, yeah, no, a lot of them do have to, but she's successfully broken free. I think she has big dreams, and I think at this point it's holding her back. It's, you know, it's not the vibe for her cool New York scene now.

Like, yeah, she's like artsy-fartsy. And I also think Connor is doing a stint on Broadway.

Oh, cute. I, I am very curious what's next for her. Like, I know she's gonna do something great. I just, I really am curious to see what it is and how she parlays this into like full-time career.

So there's an Off-Broadway show called 11 to Midnight, which is the TikTokers. It's called 11 to Midnight.

Okay.

And it's not a musical, it's a dance show. It's like these two, this couple who like dances all over TikTok. I'm sure you've seen They started off like dancing to ringtones. I don't know if you know them. Um, they've gone on tour and now they've like produced an Off-Broadway show that's like a dance extravaganza. Like Heather Morris from Glee is in it and they have like a lot of celebrity, um, cameos. And Connor's joining it, I guess, to do magic.

I'm crying. You know where he needs to go? He needs to get a spot on the Gazillion Bubble Show.

That's not magic.

There's a little bit of magic.

Remember, he needs to be the new Steve Max.

Yeah, but remember when we saw Gazillion Bubbles? He would be perfect in a role like that.

Was insane. There really was— it's perfectly named— there were a gazillion bubbles.

Just when you think like there can't be a gazillion, that seems like— then they actually waterboard you with bubbles.

Yeah, it's insane. It's actually dangerous.

And then like you're leaving, the whole floor is slippery because it's like— and just Drown, waterboarded you, doused us in bubbles.

Um, yeah, I do wonder what like career move is next for her. There was talks about like a Whitney spin-off, um, for Hulu, like Secret Lives of New York Wives or whatever, cuz I do think she's planning on staying in New York. Um, and I love Whitney, but I'm— I don't think that that would be interesting, like a solo show about her family. Um, does she want to do more Broadway? Does she want to do more performing? Is she going to act in movies? That I don't know. But I do think it's the right decision.

I think she wants to be in the arts, and I think think that, you know, she could— like, one-off things are great, but I do think she will try and make it in movies, and I think she has a really good shot.

Me too. I, I think she really proved herself with the Chicago run. Like, not only did she rise to the occasion, like, vocally, choreographically, she has huge selling power. They reached, like, insane— they broke records. They sold out really every single show. It was like $1,000 a ticket still to this last day. So overall, it was enormously successful for her, and I feel like she really proved herself to the industry that she's not just like a reality star and was not like a Luke on Dancing with the Stars.

Yeah, or maybe she'll get like a major role in another major Broadway show, like, and not just like a guest role but a, a leading role. I don't know what shows are on Broadway right now, but I know, but like Broadway really doesn't pay the bills. No, it doesn't. But I, I don't feel like it's all about money for her. I don't.

No, I think that her Instagram alone sustains their life plenty, and this is more for passion.

She has a lot of passion. Yeah, so I think if she got like an amazing role— not— I mean, again, I don't know what's on Broadway right now, but like, honestly, Fanny Brice.

I could see her.

Okay, no, but like, that's the only show I know.

I know what she should be. I know what needs to be done.

Hairspray.

Amber Von Tussle.

It always comes back to Hairspray because—

no, no, that actually is the perfect role for her.

Or what about like I guess there's not enough dancing if she were to join Wicked as— I could see her as Elphaba.

No, the thing is, is that she's not like a good singer, insane vocalist. And so some shows like Fanny Brice is so vocal you don't dance. Um, but Amber Von Tussle like sings like lightly and dances on The Corny Country Show.

They're not bringing Hairspray, so we have to work.

The problem is that it's not on Broadway.

We have to work within the framework.

Let me think, let me think, let me think. What's on Broadway?

That's why I keep saying I don't know what's on Broadway.

I mean, she could always be in The Lion King. She could. It's like eternally on Broadway.

She could.

Her kids would love that.

So cute. Other part of Secret Lives of Mormon Wives story. So a lot of drama emerged on Saturday and Sunday. Um, TMZ posted a voice note that Jesse Draper had sent to Dakota and/or his roommate.

Uh, and Jesse had preemptively told us about this.

Roommate's name is Crew.

She made a video on her Instagram before this and was like, by the way, um, I'm I'm being told that there's like a voice memo of mine being leaked to TMZ. And she also then said that like this voice memo going to TMZ is proof that the video of Taylor that went to TMZ is clearly coming from Dakota. She did try to like deflect a little bit, but basically she was getting out in front of it. And I understand why. Um, if you listen to the voice memo, I feel like it's actually a really bad look for her.

It is. And when she put out her video being like, this is coming out, it came out before all this stuff happened, and I was feeling this way, and I was still married to Jordan, and basically saying like, you know, it— you need the context of why you've been sent it. And you know, it's obviously very manipulative that it's coming out, and just know that. And so I was ready to just ignore whatever I heard, Michelle, because I'm Team Jesse. And then I listened to the voice note, and I'm still Team Jesse for sure. But it was this moment not too long ago where she did a complete about-face. She's anti-Taylor.

She was on the voice memo, she's saying— she's speaking on behalf of the girls, saying that And what's crazy is that she said in the voice memo that production's being like so toxic, and then she goes on Call Her Daddy talking about how production for Secret Lives is not like other production, they're so amazing. So yeah, it's just like kind of two-faced. She goes on to say that like a lot of the girls need to see the video. That production basically asked Dakota.

Yeah, and it sounds like in that moment she wants the world— not— yeah, she wants the world to see the video to know what's going on. So here's what's in the message. She tells Dakota the cast is aligned in holding back on any public support for Taylor. As The Bachelorette is about to come out. She says they know the truth about Taylor, and she claims production and management on Slammu is gaslighting the cast by painting Taylor as a victim and Dakota as a liar. Jesse says the show's cast views, uh, the show's cast views the situation between Taylor and Dakota as not only serious but also dangerous, particularly when it comes to Taylor and Dakota's kids. And Jesse says the group feels a lack of accountability from Taylor would be harmful. What's more, she suggests it might help things if the cast members were able to see videos of Taylor being violent, and she singles out Michaela as being the most vocal about wanting to see the footage. It's unclear if the cast ever saw the footage relating to the incident, but a couple of weeks after Jesse sent the message to Dakota, TMZ obtained and published the video.

And I just want to say, like, if I was a Jesse hater, which I'm not— I feel like I'm actually like a kind of a little bit of an apologist— I could definitely see a world in which this video came out publicly because of Jesse. Like, she started picking it up and throwing it around, sending it to people, clearly.

Yeah, like wanting it to surface. I don't know what made her see it when she saw it, and I also don't know what made her ultimately change her mind. And now she's Taylor's biggest supporter and best friend. I'm Taylor hearing this, it's probably devastating for Taylor, but Taylor I think is a forgiving person and has made so many mistakes of her own that she's like okay to forgive. But I do think this is a bad look for everything that Jesse has said publicly in the last month. Um, you know, she left out this part.

I know. And for— right. And for me, the difference in what she was saying on the voice memo versus— because I did watch most of her Call Her Daddy interview the polar opposite takes is actually like a little scary. A, about production. B, about supporting Taylor. C, about like who's the villain, who's the abuser, who's the victim. Um, and I, I gather that especially in situations like this, like it can be confusing, like who's actually being the manipulator. But just to hear somebody like really talk out of both sides of their mouth, especially like around the time that Call Her Daddy was filmed and this voice memo was sent, like isn't that far apart? It's just, it's a little spooky.

Yeah, to do like such an about-face. And also, I think she says, you know, I was still like wrapped up in Jordan at the time, and Jordan's friends with Dakota, and so I was seeing it from their side. But like, she's been on to Jordan for a very long time, like to blindly follow him and his friends. And I don't really think that she was that blind 2 months ago.

Yeah, it's about— here's what I'll say as a Jesse apologist: it's about look.

Um, it's a bad look, but I, I, I'm holding space. I also think the situation with this show changes every single day. Journey. And it's kind of exhausting. And like, she couldn't have updated us and this— on Wednesday I was feeling like this, but then on Thursday I found out this, and Friday I started to believe this. Like, you know what I mean? So I— when she went on Call Her Daddy and all that stuff, that's probably where she landed, but we didn't see the journey, and the journey is ugly.

Yeah. I also think her making the video preempting the voice memo maybe draw— drew a little bit more attention to it. I, I might not have even listened to it.

I, I agree, I might not have listened to it, but I do think it, it helps soften the blow because if I did listen to it and I hadn't heard from her, I'd be like, bitch, what? Yeah, right.

But I think it made it bigger. Yeah.

Um, not, not the greatest moment, but I also just think it sort of takes Jesse out of the red— like, I still really like Jesse, but it sort of makes her like not a credible source on the matter at the moment. Like, going forward, yeah, I feel like her credibility on this particular subject is hard. Subject.

And that's okay.

Like, well, uh, let's hear from Michaela.

We'll get you on the next one.

Let's hear from Michaela. Also some slomo news. Um, Taylor Frankie Paul had like a big day in court last week with—

yes, I saw—

with the world's most sensitive judge. Did you see this judge?

I did. And then did you also see like the hug between Dakota's mom and Taylor?

Yeah, she said it was like a goodbye, but they finally came face to face as they fought for custody over their 2-year-old son Ever. They— their legal teams went back and forth, but ultimately the judge weighed in spitting facts. What a judge saying, of course Taylor's reactive and she needs to learn how to control her emotions, and that's not a safe environment for a child with a parent who can't control how they react to things. But like, Dakota's manipulative, Dakota's calculated. Why is Dakota filming Taylor in these moments when there are kids around and kids' safety's in trouble? Put the phone down, help the kids if you care. If you care so much about the kids, you'd be helping the kids, helping those kids. Um, and of course, you know, he mentions how the videos start only in the middle of the conflict, not at the beginning. He, he's on to him, you know.

Now I'm telling you, the judge has a daughter who like knows the situation and watches the show.

And I don't even know how much of the situation he knows, but he like read it. He read them perfectly. And so I, I think that, you know, going forward, whatever arrangements that will be made, I, I think the judge has the full picture.

So what was the custody settled at?

Uh, it's like two— in two weeks they have like another custody hearing. But he also said he had concerns about supervised visits for Taylor because that's like another form of control. And yeah, Um, I don't really know where they're at right this minute and where, like, wherever is—

so sad.

Yeah, it's sad, but it seems like, you know, the case is in as good of hands as possible.

Yeah, yeah.

So that's the latest.

Yikes. Well, before we dive into the remainder of the show, let me let you know that today's episode is brought to you by Quince. Lately we've been more intentional about what we wear every day, you know, leaning into pieces that feel effortless, comfortable, but still put together. It makes getting dressed so simple, and Quince has been our go-to for fabrics that are elevated fitted, fits that are flattering, and everything just working without overthinking it. So Quince makes it easy to refresh your everyday this spring with pieces that feel as good as they look. They use premium materials like 100% European linen, organic cotton, ultra-soft denim. The pants— I have, um, a bunch of linen pants actually from Quince. They're super lightweight. I love the baby stuff from Quince because it's 100% cotton. So much of, like, with my intention with clothing these days is really more material focused. Um, it's staggering how little 100% cotton there is out there. So Quince is so good for baby clothes. Um, I've had things from Quince for like so many years. I've got great cotton cardigans, I've got trousers, I've got linen sets. Everything from Quince is made really well, it's priced really well.

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I won't, JertServe. Our next story, Kylie, Timothy, Kris joined Kim to see The Fear of 13 on Broadway. So Kim's producing a Broadway show, very interesting. Of course she is, like, but more interesting than that, um, her family came to support, including Kylie and Timothy. Hand in hand. This is really great. I know Kim didn't do it for this, but her producing a Broadway show is really great for her little sister's relationship because Timothy, like, is in the arts, spends a lot of time in New York. Yes. And so them taking in a show where they know the producers, just very on brand for them. Especially because, you know, Timothy was in a little bit of hot water with the live performance.

Yeah, I heard that they booed him and threw tomatoes when he walked in the door, right?

So this was really great for, for his— her little sister.

And I'm sure that there's a lot of it that happens behind closed doors, but don't you feel like we really haven't seen Timothy engage with the family like publicly, socially a lot? Like, she's always going to his stuff and they're going on date nights, the Knicks games, the Golden Globes. But, and I'm sure he does, like, come over for Shabbat dinner, but we never see that.

He's in Palm Springs and like playing those silly games with them and making them videos.

But we don't know that.

I've never—

is he?

I think so.

Yeah, he's in the background, right? We don't know.

Um, but he's not filming, uh, literally. But I also think that this means Kylie and Timothée are going to walk the Met Gala carpet together.

Oh, oh, I think so too. I didn't even realize that that was up for discussion, but I guess historically they both show up separately.

Yeah, but they've been walking— they do everything together.

The Knicks games. I'm sorry, they have to.

But they did the Oscars, the Golden Globes, everything.

Oh my God, they have to.

Yeah, they will for sure. If they don't, I'm seriously gonna be mad at her.

But I also feel like the girls, no matter—

I would never be mad.

No matter what stage they are in relationships, they always walk alone. Like, even when she was with— did she do with Travis Scott?

Eventually. Like, she walks alone and then they get together.

Um, but do they do any photos together?

Yes.

Really? Yeah.

I feel like I remember seeing a picture of like Travis, Kylie, and Kendall. Also, Kim walked with Pete, which was crazy.

Oh, that was actually insane. She should have walked alone.

Yeah, well, she did both, you know. She has her solo shots, but then—

oh yes, yes, when they wore all black, she was with Travis Scott. Yeah, okay.

And if I'm—

and the purple.

Yeah.

Oh, she's done it a few times.

If I'm a designer, like, I would be dressing Kylie and Timothée because they should sit at the same table. They're in love, and right, you sit with your designer. So like, someone should have picked up the both of them.

No, I cannot wait. I didn't even think about that.

And do you think Kim will walk with Louis?

I actually do.

If she was—

I think it'll be an attempt to get people to care. And you know what, I just might.

I just might. I just want to say, because I love like a red carpet moment, they're so iconic. Even the couple doesn't stay together, like, just, you know, you don't get a lot of couples at the Met Gala. Everyone's there, it's a work thing, not your husband's not always invited, like, yeah. So it's just very be cool to see.

And he's very mechala. I think he's been on the welcoming board.

I feel like she won't because she did it with Pete and she shouldn't have.

Yeah, even though they seem to be quite serious.

But so were Kim and Pete. They were together for almost a year.

Yeah, it just— it didn't seem serious because like he's so—

like, it seemed so serious to me at the time because I— yeah, of course, because she's serious.

Yes. Yeah, I do think that they might walk together.

Okay, I hope so. And Kendall and Jacob? Never. No, never.

Speaking of Kendall and Jacob, I don't know if you saw, but Olivia Jade is launching a product.

I did, but she didn't say. She's not filming.

She's not filming. We've been waiting for the Olivia Jade makeup line, like, seriously, since 2016. Give it to us.

Yeah. Also, speaking of Jacob Elordi, I'm literally watching Euphoria in clips on TikTok.

Me too.

In clips on Reels. What is that? It's It seems great. I only know what Sydney Sweeney's parts— I only got Sydney Sweeney clips.

Well, I don't know if you saw, actually, there was this moment that went viral. Um, there's— I don't know the context, but she's having an argument with someone at her wedding, and the girl's like, we invested our kids' child— our kids' college fund. And Sydney's like, oh, what does that have to do with me? And the girl who's screaming at Sydney Sweeney has Botox, and Sydney Sweeney doesn't. So it's like, it's literally two different faces where like they're both screaming at each one girl's face is not moving and Sydney Sweeney's face is like literally crumpled, like crumpled. And it was— people were giving her a lot of credit for not having Botox because it really does make you a better actress.

Yeah, but I think the person who is acting as, you know, someone who's invested in my kid's child fund, like, that person has Botox.

Yeah, right, right.

You know what I mean?

It's realistic.

It's realistic to the character whose face probably wouldn't move.

That's funny.

So I didn't feel like I was a knock.

I've seen a lot of the season 3 of Euphoria The wedding.

So I guess through the clips, I guess Nate Jacobs is like a Jimmy Cooper.

Yes, that's a great comparison. His dad kind of was a Jimmy Cooper too.

Oh, okay. Stealing people's money in the community, and then she doesn't want to be poor.

Yeah, and but she also wants to have this big wedding to like offset people's suspicions of them. So she's like $50,000 on flowers, and she started doing OnlyFans, like make money for the wedding, which That's— it's gross.

Yeah, really bad. But, and the dog thing.

Yeah. And he tells her to stop because like people in the community will say— yeah.

Um, and then she's like crying all the whole time at her wedding and smiling and dancing. They did a dance.

Yes, yes. That's very chewy millennial.

I guess the girl Maddie who used to date Nate is Sydney's old best friend from high school.

Yeah.

And like, yeah, but they were really sweet best friends. The friendship was very earnest? No, with the clips I'm seeing, it seems very earnest. Then Sydney stole her boyfriend, married—

Sydney did steal her boyfriend, but they were just like popular girls who like—

but they were broken up for 3 weeks and 3 days.

Oh wow, you've really seen a lot.

I've seen a lot.

Love that.

And it's only giving me Cassie's storyline. I don't know about Rue. I don't know about Barbie Ferreira.

She's not on the show. She left last season. Who's Jules. Hunter Schafer.

I don't know about Jules.

Who's ruse, like, on and off.

I only know about Cassie, Nate, and then Maddie by way of Cassie and Nate.

Got it. Okay, I'm enjoying it too. Why are they enjoying—

why are they showing all this?

Like, I don't know, but it is a really effective way. I don't know if you saw, but Issa Rae has just released her first show. It's a vertical series and it's being released in clips. Like, that's how people consume media weirdly these days. I was just watching a literal movie. I don't know if you guys have ever seen the movie of Sally Field when she marries the Iranian guy.

Yes, I watch that movie all the time.

I'm insane. I watched it on Reels and I was just— what was the movie? It's a— oh, it was Megan Fahey was like playing this like old— like Megan Fahey and Betty White movie. Does anybody know what movie I'm talking about where like they play younger versions of each other, young and old, and she like lost her husband in the war and so Betty White is the old lady still waiting for him to come back?

Sounds amazing.

No, it's literally an effective way to get people to see your show that so much so Issa Rae launched a vertical series Oh my gosh, yeah, the— I know, it's kind of brilliant.

The Sally Field movie is Not Without My Daughter.

Yes, yes, and her, like, her husband tricks her into moving to Iran.

No, going to Iran on vacation in the middle of the Islamic Revolution, and she gets stuck there and she can't leave with—

if she knows she doesn't get stuck there, she's trapped.

He traps her, she can't leave, and if she wants to leave, she can't take her daughter with her.

She literally left on foot with her daughter into Turkey, and this man like drove them. Literally, it's based on a true story.

It's based on a book. Yeah, Betty Mahmoud. Hootie.

I, I literally only know— I know her because of Reels. Me too. Same with this Megan Fahey Betty White movie.

I haven't gotten that one yet. I look forward to watching it. Yeah, sometimes I'll be in the middle of doing something, I just check Instagram, and all of a sudden I'm watching a movie. You're watching a movie and I'm like, yeah, I'm supposed to be making dinner, why am I watching a movie on my phone?

Not without my daughter.

Have you seen one of Angelina Jolie like faking a pregnancy and getting stabbed? No, getting stabbed in pregnant belly and then pulling out the scissors and stabbing the man who stabbed her? No, I saw that one this morning.

That looks good. Have you seen the one of Christopher Walken when he builds like a fort underground? No, for like for when the apocalypse comes?

No, I haven't.

That's a good one.

I look forward to seeing it. I've seen a lot. I've seen a lot of Grey's Anatomy.

Oh, Young Sheldon.

A lot of medical shows, you know.

Me too.

This mystery She—

all of these lines across my face. I've seen the musical episode of Grey's Anatomy, um, on Reels.

Oh, interesting. I haven't caught that one yet.

Oh, it's good, it's good. It's kind of like a famous episode within the Grey's Anatomy community. Oh, oh, oh.

Well, our fifth and final story, if we may, is a little biz news. Spirit Airlines is going out of business after 34 years and is ending operations immediately. Their last flight actually, I think, was last night.

Yeah, okay, that was quick, by the way.

Like, I feel like it's always like, oh, in 6 months.

Well, there was, um, but who would want to be flying a bankrupt airline, let alone Spirit? Like, it's already a bankrupt airline. Well, there was a rumor, and I actually watched Brian Kelly on like Live with Kelly and Mark or something explaining when JetBlue wanted to buy Spirit and how big of a deal that would be because they would, they would have become a major airline. Like, United and Delta are like bigger airlines, and then there's regional ones that don't have hubs, they don't have enough planes. If Spirit and JetBlue were to join forces, they would become like a United. I don't know what happened, like the merger got denied or they didn't end up doing it or whatever. So I guess like Spirit's just over. I don't know what videos I'm gonna watch anymore because one of my favorite videos to watch is like people on Spirit Airlines cussing each other out, brawling. Yeah, I guess I'll have to maybe go back to watching that without my daughter, but But it's kind of huge for the viral video community.

Yeah, it is. It's also— I feel like it's huge for the travel community. Like, you really couldn't beat those prices. Yeah, you know, you might not have a seat and you might be sitting on the toilet, but you were going to get where you needed to go from point A to point B.

Absolutely.

So I feel like as far as, you know, quick, easy trips, the price is going up.

And I also think that culturally, Spirit Airlines, like symbolized a lot. Like, we were always making jokes and texts, but of the joke, texts and memes.

So all these airlines better be on notice because you might become the next Spirit if you treat us like Spirit. Absolutely. So why don't you step it up?

I just feel like this is kind of a big deal.

It is a big deal. It is a big deal. So bon voyage, Spirit. It.

I need my travel correspondent Brian Kelly to like explain more so what this means. Like, are prices going up?

I guess supply and demand, they would, right? Or—

and what happens to an airline? What happens to an airplane when an airline dies? Will they sell it off?

Yeah, I, I had heard for a moment like that the government was thinking about buying it and taking the planes for like, uh, transit, the military. Yeah, uh, I don't think that went through, but other airlines could buy these planes at a discount.

Out, right? Right.

You know, so we'll see.

I just feel like this is so crazy. I feel like an airline—

I feel like when airlines go out of business—

I think when airlines go out of business, it's kind of like a moment in herstory. Now, not till— not Song, because Song was a part of Delta, so it never really went out of business. It was just like this, you know, diffusion line that they discontinued. But like Continental Remember that airline?

Pan Am, right?

Like, I feel like it marks eras of, of history. Yeah, the Spirit era has ended.

It's sad.

Now let's move on to the Midnights era.

What's the Midnight?

The Eras Tour. Oh, you think Taylor and Travis can be at the Met Gala? No, no. Joe Alwyn is at the Carlyle, so I'm sure he'll be there.

Yeah, and it's really like Kardashians. I don't know why someone in an interview should ask that.

Why? She doesn't really do interviews.

No, but she's a New York Times songwriter. Like, she does interviews. Just ask her.

She doesn't do interviews where you have free will. Like, you can't ask Taylor Swift whatever she wants.

Just ask her. Someone be brave.

What's the drama? Because there's actually a lot of things. Like, of course it's a Kardashians event, but she's so big now she can go wherever she wants. They both went to the Super Bowl. But also, it historically has sort of been like kind of a big moment for her. Blue Chella, The Getaway Car, Tom Holland. What does it mean?

And I don't think she's like running scared from the Kardashians.

Like, no, but I— yeah, what is it?

What is it? I don't— and she used to be on the chair and she's like friends with Anna, so it's not like she has bad vibes like, you know, Demi Lovato who said she wouldn't go anymore because it's toxic, right?

Right. Although I do feel like she's sort of healed from that.

Demi?

Yeah.

I don't know, I feel like some people— I feel like even Khloé was like, it's not my scene.

I don't think it's a particularly fun event.

Yeah, and you have to be like really in the know.

You have to be friends with everyone.

And I— yeah, I think it's like a work event. I think it's a little nerve-wracking, all the cameras, all the people. And yeah, it's not for everyone. So I understand why Demi Lovato felt that way.

Wait, can we do our favorite game, um, where we guess which like celebrity talent is going to be picked from the digital world going to the Met Gala? Because last year we had said Nara Smith, which I thought was such a good guess of mine, and they didn't invite her or she didn't go. I do think she could go this year.

Yeah, I do think Alex Earle could go this year, and I, I don't even think I, I suggested her last year, but I do think this year she could.

Yeah, if she doesn't go, I don't think it's because she couldn't, honestly. Like, she's dating Tom Brady. She's— she is the moment.

Yeah.

Other influencers or like podcasters Who's like in fashion, you know? You think Jake Shane will go?

I hope so.

I feel like he could. Me too.

I hope so.

But I don't think he's in New York.

But like, he— the way he talks about like his anxiety about all these things.

Oh, he would have the worst time.

Even though he's friends with everybody, everybody loves him, he— I don't know if he could handle it.

I also think a lot of the digital talent is often connected to the sponsor. Like when YouTube sponsor— I think Amazon.

The Bezosies.

There's a lot of people are like boycotting because the Bezosies are like backers. I don't give a fuck. Loser snake. Please. Yeah, no, just like seriously shut up. Who is like tied with Amazon or like has a show on Amazon, you know?

But it wouldn't be like Amazon creators because like who are at the Derby, right?

No, no, I mean people who are connected with the brand in like a larger way.

Like Prime Video.

Who has like a, yeah, a reality show on Prime Video, even though they don't do a lot of that.

No, they don't do a lot of that.

Do you think Brooke Snader's going? Yeah. Yeah, she's friends with the Bezos. She went to the wedding.

Oh, well then she better fucking be there.

She better fucking be there.

And of course the shit off of the century should be there. Sydney Sweeney and Scooter Braun, who met at the wedding.

Oh, do they meet at the wedding? Mhm. I don't know if he does like a lot of red carpet. He's more like a businessman, so if he goes, I don't know if they'll walk the carpet, but she'll definitely—

they should. They're so hard launched.

Oh, they're getting married.

They're—

I think she's going to convert.

Like, literally, they're getting married and having children.

I think she's gonna convert, like, dead ass.

I ship so hard. I hope they walk.

I kind of do too.

Like, honestly, I'm— I can be keeping an eye out for them, like Kylie and Timothée.

Yeah, no, I'm definitely on alert for a couple of people, a couple of things.

I hope Brooksie goes, and maybe Taron too. And you know what, I don't think—

actually, I just don't think he would be invited, honestly.

I feel like he could be, and he's friends with Elton John, and I feel like Elton John could get someone in somewhere. But I just want to normalize, like, you walking the red carpet with someone that you— we— you're not gonna marry That's fine. Like, it's not like your sibling's wedding where like you don't want them in the pictures. Like, have an iconic moment with a good-looking person.

Hailey Bieber, Shawn Mendes, like the fraudulent relationship of the century. I lived for that.

That was a fraudulent relationship. These aren't fraudulent relationships. Like, Taron and Brooksy, like, I don't think they're going to be together forever. So it's— it usually don't walk the couple with the carpet with like someone you've been with for a few months, but like, do it. It's sickening.

Agreed, agreed. And it's honestly a good way to get talked about, and it's a moment in time. Have you ever seen the pictures of Jessica Simpson and John Mayer at the Met Gala? Like it's serious.

It's a moment in time.

It's a time capsule. Do it.

And it's really a way to stand, stand out. Like, it's very oversaturated. Everyone's doing their big one. There's a million celebrities. Everybody's dressed to the nines. Like, give us something to ship, you know?

Yeah, I, I just—

I don't know why I'm excited. I feel like we're gonna get some of that. Just be casual. It's not a big deal. It's a Met Gala. It's costume.

I do feel— I do feel like the Met Gala has also become like a lot less of a big deal. I feel like back in the day it was literally impossible to get an invitation even if you were A-list. Now I just feel like they kind of let anyone in. So yeah, bring your random boyfriend, like whatever.

Give us couple pics, give us couple goals. I love it.

Oh, I guess this is a big deal cuz it's like the first Met Gala where Anna's not Vogue editor-in-chief. They're really pushing that girl Khloé on us. I've seen a lot— she's doing like a lot of like street interviews. I've seen a lot.

She's in the street. Street?

Well, no, like street style where they're just like in her office.

Um, other people are interviewing her. Yeah, she's not a man on the street.

I saw such a weird interview because I guess there has been like a lot of pushback that like she wears ugly clothes and it's kind of crazy because she's like the editor of Vogue. So somebody was like, um, asking her about that and she was like, yeah, I mean, I do dress different than Anna. And it's like, well, no one cares that you dress different than Anna. I think people care like you dress ugly.

Yeah. Yeah.

Um, and so she's like talking about it. It's really weird, but they are like, I think they're trying to be like digital focused, like 300 years too late with like their young hot editor like doing street style TikToks.

Um, but okay, I've missed all of that. And, and no, it's, it's, it's, it's targeting towards me, and I'm happy. I'm happy that it doesn't sound like it's for me, you know? I'm happy I missed it. Don't, don't surface that.

You think Harry and Meghan? You think they're there?

I always think Harry and Meghan at this point.

No, I think it's weird that they haven't gone.

Yeah, and now it's too late.

You think?

Yeah.

All right.

Yeah. Okay, that will be fun.

That will be fun. So tomorrow's the second— the first Tuesday in May, which is just as exciting as the first Monday in May.

It's more exciting for the toasters. First Tuesday. Absolutely. First Tuesday.

That's our show, you guys. Thank you so much for listening to the Tessa and Melanie Morning— well, the place looks great.

You know, it always does.

Thank you so much for listening to the Tessa and Melanie Morning Show, where we deliver the fast stories you need to know every Monday through Friday. And YouTube, you're watching us on YouTube, please feel free to subscribe, give this video a thumbs up. We're also available as a podcast everywhere podcasts can be found, so Spotify, Podcasts, and YouTube, wherever you listen to podcasts. Find us at Tessa and Melanie Weekly. We hope you guys have an amazing day, and we'll see you tomorrow.

Love ya, bye!