Transcript of Fiddler on The Toast: Friday, May 1st, 2026 New

Good morning, girlies.

It's The Toast.

It's Jackson, Claude, and we're your hosts. It's your favorite show, the fast 5 things you need to know.

We'll start your day off swirly. It's The Toast.

I sound amazing.

Welcome back to The Toast. Happy Friday. Hey, Jax, how you doing?

Doing good. It's Friday. It's a jam-packed day for me though, so I feel like it won't be Friday until like 5 o'clock, you know?

I feel that. I feel that 100%. I'm actually hosting LGBTQ+ Shabbat tonight. Um, I invited a bunch of people over for Shabbat, and then I realized like every single one of them is gay. No, this particular group is just LG, if I'm being honest.

So no BTQ community?

As far as I know, the BTQ community is not showing up, so it's just LG Shabbat. L, it's actually LGS Shabbat, uh, lesbian, gays, and satchel.

Lesbian, gays, and, uh, and you?

Oh yeah, what am I? I'm just sort of— I'm an A, but for ally.

Oh, so you are A, so you did.

But A is LGBTQIA is for asexual.

Plus, plus, so don't forget. Okay, so it's an LGSA. Affair?

Like, it's an LGBTQ community event.

So who's attending?

Just like members of the community, you know. What would you know about that?

Is it just like— so it's Brian and the Taylors?

You know, Brian's in Paris. It's Joey and the Taylors.

Joey and the Taylors, that's fun.

And Joey's boyfriend, who I've never met.

Oh yeah, that is fun.

Um, flirty. There's so many things I need to tell you. Okay, two things. Well, I don't even know where to start. First of all, I like left the house last night. I'm feeling my— I'm going out. I'm now having 4 nights in a row of like having to leave the house. 2 nights ago I had my mahjong party, which was so fun. Last night I had a dinner party at my friend Brian and Jake's apartment. Tonight I'm having my Shabbat. Tomorrow night I'm going out for dinner. And like, I just want to say, after this, like these 4 nights, it's killing me. I feel like I'm at Stagecoach, like I'm at a 4-day rave. I can't— I I never want to leave the house again. I'm exhausted.

I know. I'm going out to dinner tonight and tomorrow night because it's my husband's birthday weekend, and like, oh my gosh, exhausting. Yeah, I need to prep.

And I went to a dinner party last night where I really didn't know any of the other guests aside from the host and like one other person.

The battery was at 100.

And I unfortunately got seated next to somebody— like, they knew what they were doing when they sat me next to him. Like, this is the person I was meant to sit next to. Like, a stay-at-home dad of 3. An enormous Swiftie. His name was Michael. He was so handsome. He was sitting between Ben and I, and he was also like almost like on track to be like an Olympic bobsledder. So like Ben was obsessed. His favorite movie is Cole Runnings. Like this guy, he said he felt like he was on an airplane sitting in the middle seat because he was like, me and Ben were like fighting over him.

That's so funny. Where was his wife?

Husband? Across. You know, they separated couples. When people do that at dinner parties, like, I can't lie, I hate it. Although I understand that it's effective. And look at me, I'm sitting here talking about the guy I sat next to, like I was so dazzled by him. But like, you know, when you don't know everyone, you're just like, can I just please sit next to the one person I know?

Yeah, yeah, it's a lot of work to like meet new people, but the payoff is big when done right.

No, I kind of made like a best friend, and then when I was like wanting to connect, I'm like, what's your Instagram? He was like, I don't have one.

Wow, opposites attract. Yeah, I guess, you know, I feel like you are drawn to private people in, in terms of like your actual friendships outside of influencer friendships.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. Most of my, like, people in my life are just normal, like, private Instagrams. Yeah, but no Instagram is crazy.

Yeah, we have a friend with no Instagram right now. She listens to The Toast though.

Oh yeah, I think it's so crazy. She loves The Toast. She's obsessed with pop culture, and she like decided to delete her Instagram 2 years ago. And I don't even know how she knows what we're talking about half the time.

She said she's always on TikTok, so like, it's the same thing. That's like That's like me not having TikTok, but I'm always on Instagram.

It's true, it's true.

It's not like that virtuous, but it's pretty cool.

So Natalie was at the first thing I had to tell you. The second thing, I did something crazy this morning.

Crack?

Crazier.

Meth?

Crazier. I watched The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills on my phone. Like, I was getting ready, I was walking around, but I, I couldn't watch last night because like I said, I had a dinner party.

Yeah.

So I was like getting ready. I was doing my clothes, I was giving breakfast, and so I just like had it on sort of like a podcast.

I want to say typically that might not be the greatest idea, but for a reunion— a reunion is a podcast. A reunion is just about talking. Like, the visuals of the show and the season and the side glances and everything is important when you're watching the season, but a reunion is a podcast.

Absolutely. And I watched it in the car, and then I watched the last 10 minutes the second— like, as I sat down here, I completed it. I I did my homework for the day. Highly recommend.

Yeah, for a reunion, that is appropriate. Actually, I watched as well, so we'll recap at the end of the show.

Uh, do you feel like you miss me?

I always miss you, Kojurner, but you know what, I can't really— I can't miss you too much because it hurts too much, you know?

Absolutely. And we will be reading— we actually have a couple of things we have to be together for. We're coming to town.

I'm coming to New York City, to the Big Apple, in a few weeks.

Jacks and is coming to town. Oh yeah, Jackson Glod is coming to town. Jackson Glod is coming to town.

Yes, I'm coming to the Big Apple in a few weeks for Dear Media IRL. That's now, by the way, you guys, it's May today.

It's gonna, gonna, gonna, gonna, gonna, it's gonna be May.

Like that just snuck up on us and starting a new month on a Friday Friday is crazy work.

It's wrong.

It's crazy work. So now it's May and Dear Media IRL is in May, so I'm coming to New York this month in 2 weeks to see my sister, to see the swirlies, do a live show.

Performing. We're performing.

We're performing. We're doing a live show at Dear Media IRL. Some of our fellow podcasters will be there.

The lineup, I believe the whole evening is hosted by like literally the go-to host of Dear Media, Taylor Strecker. And the lineup is Not Skinny But Not Fat. Everyone's doing like a little live podcast. The Good Guys. Nispaneff, Gugu, and The Toast. And we are currently like, you know, in like this planning phase creatively of like what we'll be doing for the show. And we are planning sort of a live collaborative event with the good guys. There was talk about burying the hatchet. I haven't agreed to that yet, of course. Um, but we are— we are— it's gonna be live, like, and you just sort of— you could be there, but the tickets are sold out.

It could be WWE Showdown. You know, we haven't really—

yeah, Webster Hall, Dear Media IRL. They should stream it live.

Yeah, it's gonna be fun. So I'm excited for that. So I will be seeing you soon. Oh my God, I didn't— of whether or not I miss you.

I haven't really put together that, um, I need to find something to wear.

I know, I was hoping to be a little more slender, but me as well. Alas, no, here we are. Alas, no. How much weight can I lose in 2 weeks? Mm, like probably 4 pounds max. Yeah, max. Okay, let's end the show. Let's end the show.

Max, what are your plans this weekend for Zach's birthday? Did you get him a present?

Um, no, we don't really do presents anymore unless like there's—

I, I think presents is insane.

Yeah, no, and I've sort of moved on from them, which means— and he was never like as big on them as I was. So no, we don't really do presents anymore, but we have like a jam-packed fun family weekend, like activities, clubs, bus, clam bakes, Hyundai Palisade, another Palisade, clam bakes, party. We're actually having a little soiree. We are, we're having a little—

sorry, let me guess, who's coming? Your neighbors?

Neighbors, friends, family, just like, you know, a little backyard hang. Sounds beautiful. Yeah, so We have— it's gonna be a very like busy, on-the-go weekend, and I think fulfilling for my husband.

That's good, that's good. Do you think I have to get him a present?

Like, no, but you like— no, no, no, you don't. I never— I didn't get Lish anything.

You didn't get Lish anything?

But I've— oh, I'm actually like, not always, but I often get Lish something. Like, whenever I see something—

except not a hug.

Not a hug, please. Know thyself. Whenever I see something that like I think Lish would like, I get it for him. Oh, I remember 2 years ago I got him a nice bottle of olive oil for his birthday. Do you remember that?

That's a lovely gift.

Yeah, it just showed up from insert. You guys were so confused. It was just me.

It was confusing sometimes.

Jack, yeah, yeah, that's like, you're not gonna get a hug, but you are gonna get a bottle of olive oil delivered mysteriously with no note.

No, it's giving anthrax.

For sure. But remember, I got him like the pepper grinder because I got a pepper grinder that I really liked, so I thought that he would really like it. It's pepper grinder, so I thought he would like it. So I am always thinking of Lish. I'm always thinking of everyone. If I see something that I know— someone—

you are a thoughtful gift giver.

Like, oh my God, I was at an art gallery the other day because I was getting my car washed, and it was one of those—

gallery girl.

I know, it's like, I— it's really hard to find a car wash, by the way.

I thought they were on every corner, and then you just sort of have to busy yourself for like 2 hours.

The ones that you drive through, I thought they're on every corner. They're not. I literally drove around looking for a car wash. I finally one, but it was like a person and a hose. So, got out, um, they walked into an art gallery and they saw like a really beautiful piece of art that made me think of someone. I was like, should I just get them this piece of art?

Who did it make you think of? Me?

Can't tell you, I don't want to spoil it. I'm still mulling it over.

Oh, I love that.

Actually really beautiful. I should go back and buy it. I'm so— okay, art.

She's a collector.

I'll send you a picture.

What else can I tell you? Oh, I'd like to see Devil Wears Prada this weekend. I believe it's out today?

Uh, yeah, I believe it's out today.

If the LGB— if the LGSA Shabbat crew wants to go, that's so— I feel like it's going to be huge opening weekend. It's going to be like a Barbenheimer type of thing.

Yeah, I mean, it's very exciting. I wonder, I wonder how big it will be, if it'll be bigger than the opening of the first one.

Wait, oh, I wonder how much that did. But you know, that's a good prediction to do on Polly Market.

Oh yeah, let's get our predictions in. Check the market. What are the— what's What's the market saying?

What are the streets saying?

What's the Polly market saying?

Okay, hold on, hold on. Oh yeah, Devil Wears Prada opening weekend box office. So 66% of people are saying it's gonna do between $70 and $80 million. That's actually, that's a lot.

I feel like it's more.

For opening weekend. Well, I'm gonna contribute.

I think it's more.

LGSA, like you can count us in for like $100.

I think it's, put me down for $100 million.

Well, that would put you with 1% of people.

That's classic me.

That's so you, oh my God.

It's so me, but you thought I was gonna be with the herd?

I don't think so. That's a good prediction to do on Poly Market.

Yeah, that is. Okay, put it in.

Let's see if you can use code toast to get $20 free.

Use code toast at Poly Market. That's such a slay.

Absolutely. What else can I tell you?

That you're wearing my sweatshirt. You could tell me that you're wearing my sweatshirt.

It's not your sweatshirt anymore because I wore this sweatshirt when I found out that Ruby was pregnant. Congrats. I'm cracking up. Yeah, when I found out that I was pregnant with Rubel. And so it's just mine now. Every time I wear this sweatshirt, I feel so connected and so maternal.

How it works. And unfortunately, huge— and you know that I'm such a giver. You know that I'm a giver between my olive oil and I just like— I would literally— I would— my art— I would give someone the shirt off my back. Like, I really would. Of course, you unfortunately have chosen something that like I actually want back. You know, I've been talking like an influencer influencer recently, like using a lot of hand gestures. We've always gesticulated here, but more in like an Italian mama sort of way. And now I'm in the like influencer, like, what, Pac-Man?

Maybe you'll understand this. You're not getting it back.

I'm in the Pac-Man hands phase.

I know that you like it, but you don't have an emotional connection to the sweatshirt like I do, so I am just gonna say no.

You don't know that.

What's your emotional connection? All right, make a case. I mean, I'll get it back.

Oh, you don't love Bad Teacher, but you know the scene in Bad Teacher when that weird kid in the class always wears that sweatshirt that says gymnastics?

And it's like, no, I don't know the movie. I might have seen it once, but it's certainly not—

he tells the teacher, he was like, it was my dad's and he— it's the only thing he left, like, when he left us. And she's like, there's a reason why he left it. Crocking.

So you think— are you gonna say this is a family heirloom?

No, but it is mine, and I just— I feel bad because I would love to just get over it.

Well, get over it. No, I'm gonna like work out. Why don't you work on that this weekend while I'm seeing the Devil Wears Prada?

I'm just gonna snatch it. Watch out in the Hamptons.

I'm not bringing it. I'm not bringing it. How about that? You're gonna drive 3 hours back to the city to go get it? Yeah. And what if we just purchased another one? You could have the new one.

Okay. Who makes it? It's, um, No clue. Selkie. I feel like King Solomon. It's like you don't even know who makes it, you obviously don't love it. What, like King Solomon, like as a judge? Like, you know, the story of the baby, split the baby in half. So yeah, that's how I feel.

Like this judgment's coming down, like, oh, we should split the sweatshirt in half so neither of us can have it.

But if one of us were to say no, don't, because that would ruin the sweatshirt.

That person loves, then I wouldn't let us. Yeah, because this sweatshirt means a lot to me.

Okay, same, because it's mine.

No, it doesn't.

Yes, it does.

What does it mean to you emotionally? Like, explain.

It's a beautiful sweatshirt. It's a beautiful sweatshirt. I wore it.

And your deep personal emotional connection—

year of life. I have so many memories in that sweatshirt. Such a liar.

Such a fucking liar.

No, it's true. I'll find you pictures. I don't have to prove why. I want my sweatshirt back.

It's not yours, and possession is 9/10 the law.

I'm taking it back, but enjoy it while you have it.

I'm taking the Selkie, dumbass.

Yeah, maybe Selkie will see this and send us another one.

Oh girl, you better. And we'll take 2 new ones, please. This one has a stain. Actually, can have it. You know, by the way, there's a huge stain on the wrist. I don't even know what it is. Oh, Just wanted to quickly update our whiteboard because yesterday was our 4th show without talking about Licks vs Lex in a formal capacity. Obviously we talked briefly about her Instagram stories, but that does not— formal— that does not constitute a capacity. That is—

you know, like when it's like the lead story, we can't stop talking about it for days. I'm proud of us.

Yeah, like when we're talking about in the pre-Fast Five banner, we have to just hold ourselves back so we can do it as a first story. We have been so controlled.

Everything that we talk about, like, we just find a way to make it about that. We have been controlled. There's not a formal story about it today. A couple like little things happen, you know. Lauren Leindeich is like popping off a little bit.

Um, I want to say something quickly. Mhm.

Um, okay.

And the thing that I wanted to say about that, uh, was just like a brief detail from yesterday's story that I do feel like is— Germaine makes a— it's Germaine. Is the West Wilson drama— is his step-grandmother. So it is his grandfather's girlfriend. Obviously that doesn't make the story any less tragic, of course. But okay, he didn't lose his grandmother.

Like, where is his grandmother?

I would assume deceased. And this is the woman that his grandfather moved on with.

Yeah, so no, it must be his grandpa's wife because yeah, otherwise they wouldn't be calling it his grandmother. They'd say his grandpa's girlfriend.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Interesting. Also, people were speculating that maybe the family didn't tell West until after the reunion.

Right, which I had also thought maybe was the case.

Yeah, yeah, that would be good. But still, like, the reunion is kind of null and void. And I guess, yeah, I guess what's wrong—

like, I can't, I can't keep sending hate West's way. Like, he's going through a, like, a deep family tragedy and trauma. I won't, I won't pile on.

It's also a lot to process that your cousin is a murderer.

Obviously, that's more so than even if it was your grandma. Like, that's even a bigger pill to swallow than your grandma dying. Getting killed.

Yeah, yeah. So we're just—

and now like your cousin's going to jail, like that's crazy. Are they close? I don't know.

Well, maybe they're not, you know. Hopefully they're not.

Hopefully.

Yeah, hopefully they're not. Probably not. In his mugshot, he looked like a crazy lunatic.

I mean, he did shoot his step-grandmother.

Yeah, I mean, he is a crazy lunatic, obviously, but he also looked like one.

Mm, absolutely.

You know, absolutely not a Ted Bundy type.

Oh no, no, no, no. I just feel like the days of the Ted Bundy types are over because like really, really— Luigi serial killer. Oh, you think like using their looks to like trap women? Because men who look like that, they just become like TikTokers now.

Oh yeah.

If you have an ounce of good looks, like you as a man There's a million beautiful girls on, on TikTok and Instagram and they have 3 followers. But if you're like a man with decently good looks and you don't care what other people think, like you just make TikToks that are cringe and you make a lot of money. Like you don't need to murder people anymore. Ted Bundy would've been a TikToker, mark my words.

You think? But what if he has like, what if he's a, a psychopathic killer?

I just feel like he wouldn't have gotten to that place with like all the positive accolades and like the comments and the engagement and stuff.

But I feel like, like his version of positive accolades back in the day, like he was getting, you know, everybody like, right.

So. So just, you don't feel my call, is that what you're saying?

I just don't know if TikTok—

That feels right.

I don't know if TikTok's gonna end the murder epidemic.

That feels right.

I don't know.

And just when I thought you were having my back today, 'cause you said crack, meth.

I was, I was trying, but also that earned me—

But it's so not who you are.

It earned me a Jeter spoon.

It did. Well, actually it earned you—

I was more so focused on—

It earned you like a Joe Bowl.

No. It's a no-jert.

Oh, you know what's so funny? Something just popped up on my TikTok. It's so crazy when I'm scrolling TikTok and I see a video that's about us. Like, it happens quite a bit. Like, either people loving the toast, like giving, you know, their takes on the toast. And someone was just like, Claudia and Jackie Ashre are like the biggest Jews. They're the proudest Jews. They're always talking about Jews, but they are so hard on their fellow Jews. And the examples that she cited were Jesse Solomon. Yeah. Andy Cohen.

Yeah. Ben Platt.

And Ben Platt.

Yeah.

Now obviously Ben Platt is self-explanatory, like, no, I don't support Jews, who literally hates Jews. Like, he's out. Like, that's not even a question. Now Jesse Solomon, like, yes, he's Jewish, but there could— we hold space for multiple truths. Like, he was wrong for what he did to Lexi, and he's a nice Jewish boy. Like, do you know what I mean?

Yeah, no, but I also think like it's important for us to like be hard critical and like critical of the Jews that I don't feel like are portraying Jewish people in a good light. Like, we need to course correct and let like the world know like that's not what we're about.

Although I do think Andy Cohen represents the Jewish people in like a pretty decent way.

No, I think he like exploits Jewish culture and then doesn't have the Jewish people's back.

Well, that's like a big shtick is like, you know, using— that's how I feel about Ben Platt. Like so many of his like most engaged Instagram posts are like, here's a little song I wrote about Rosh Hashanah. And then when it becomes time for like you to actually stand up for Jews, you're just nowhere to be found. So you can't use the shtick and not— yeah, like you can benefit from the shtick of the community while also not supporting the community.

So I feel like that's Andy Cohen.

Yeah, but I guess the bar after October 7th lowered so much. Like, I found Andy's behavior to be quite fine.

No, the bar lowered so much for everyone else, but like not for fellow Jews. Like, yeah, yeah. So if you want to be like mazel, um, you've got to step your pussy up a little bit.

I agree. And then Jesse Solomon, like, his Jewishness does not—

except for the one Shabbat he hosted at Summer House, like, I don't—

I forget.

I— no, I don't like I don't judge him well or poorly because he's Jewish. Like, I actually—

yeah, this is— it's the same thing when people say, like, women who support other women— are you an asshole? Like, I don't really care your race, religion, creed. Like, just are you an asshole? Are you a woman asshole? Are you a Jew asshole? Like, there are both.

Yeah, no, but I, I do feel like— and also other people can't be like, you're a bad Jew. Like, excuse me, right, right? I feel like we have to be the ones to do it. Yeah, so I, I think that's fair. I think that's a fair assessment of us. Yeah, I wear it proudly.

Absolutely.

The Jew police.

Yeah, right. We wear yellow stars. We're policing the Jews. Yeah, right.

That's always weird to like see a clip about yourself out of nowhere. That happened to me a couple—

when you're just mindlessly scrolling.

That happened to me with Mikayla Matthews.

Oh, that's terrible.

Yeah, and it happened to me It actually happened to me the other day. I saw these random girls talking about us. I never saw them before, never saw them again, and they were just like opining about their— in a good way? Not really, not really, but like it was just weird to see someone talking about me.

It's very jarring when you're on your mindless scroll, which is like a dopamine hit. You're really not like intentionally— you're just mindless. And for them to like hear your name, it zips you right out of it and it's very jarring.

Yeah, like someone—

I realize this is not like a universal relatable issue.

No, but it's something that I've experienced recently though, you know, like I guess we're just getting bigger than ever.

I try— it's true, I try to scroll right past it because I don't really want to see more content like that. I think the toast is like, it's art, you know, it's— people are gonna love it, people are gonna criticize it, and that's what makes it beautiful. So it doesn't bother me, like I like that there's discourse around it, but I try not to engage with it because I'm not only going to get the positive, and I just want people to be able to— like, kind of like with a book, you know how authors aren't supposed to read their own reviews or engage with reviewers? That's really how I feel at this point as like an artist.

Yeah, yeah, no, I, I completely agree. I completely agree.

Anything else we want to PFFB about?

No, I don't think so. I'm like having a total like gap in memory about what I did yesterday.

Oh, I hosted a community event yesterday, like a challah bake.

You did?

Yeah, slash, you know, fireside chat at one of my local community centers for young Jewish women. It was fabulous. I love— I just love being a Jewish woman, you know? Yeah, like it was so shtetl.

Yeah, and part of that is calling out your fellow Jews, like classic, you know?

Absolutely. Tevye would.

Tevye would. Tevye did.

Who do you feel like you are in Fiddler on the Roof? Maybe the mother.

Maybe the mother. Now you know I relate to mothers now.

And who do you think I am?

Tevye.

I think so too.

You're, you're Laser Wolf.

I actually am not, and I resent the accusation.

We're anyone but the daughters.

Yeah, the daughters, like They don't fit into our— like, there's not— it's not like you're a Kim, you're a Khloé, you're a Tzaytel. Like, it just doesn't work.

No, I feel like the mother, you know, worrying about her children, cooking, doing the wash.

I kind of like, if I had to, would relate to the oldest one.

Yeah, we're married for love.

Yeah, Tzaytel.

Yeah, they're all Tzaytel.

They are all Tzaytel, Feytel, and Leytel.

They're Tzaytel, Chava, Right? No, I think there's a Chava.

What are the daughters' names? Sadle. Sadle. Hodel.

Hodel.

Chava.

Chava.

Sprinzi. Sprinzi. Selke. Selke. Oh, like my sweatshirt.

There's 5?

I thought there was 4 too.

Yeah, you know who you are. You're from a Sarah, the mother-in-law haunting you.

Oh, okay.

Yeah. So good. Remember when we were casting Fiddler on the Roof live?

Because I had just rewatched it. Like, I've seen it literally once as a kid and then never again. And I know the music and I reference like Tevye, but I actually didn't really know what the story was about. So like 2 years ago, I think I was pregnant and I rewatched it at my house. A chilling story. At your house. A chilling story to watch while pregnant. Like, yeah, it's not— it's all fun and games till like the Cossacks come.

No, it's actually like, it's such a fun movie, but it's a crazy movie. It's very dark, and it's like the expulsion of million Jews from Eastern Europe and Russia. Like, that's our story, you know, our people. Very sad.

Oh yeah, we were casting— who did we cast Tevye? Like, Liam— Lev Schreiber?

Adam Sandler, I think.

When I tell you there is no show funnier than this one, like, and I'm constantly reminded of that, like, when you sent me the Mr. McCorky clip, us casting Adam Sandler as a modern-day Tevye, like When I say we're operating at such a high level, like nobody can meet us where we're at. It's insane how good the show is.

And I'm pretty sure we had Lea Michele in every role as the tortures.

That feels right. Kind of like, um, I think I have the list on my phone. Kind of like how Tyler Perry plays all the characters in the Medea film.

Yes.

Lea Michele plays all the characters in the modern adaptation produced by Toast Productions of Fiddler on the Roof. Malia.

So you're saying it's Malia?

Okay, content idea for today's episode: we need to make like a fake Madea cover, but everyone is Lea Michele and they're all wearing like old Jewish shtetl like shmatas.

Claudia, I have the list.

Okay, who, who did we cast for the—

to do the music for the Fiddler on the Roof remake that we are producing? Pasek and Paul. We also have David Foster. I think we agreed that even though he's not Jewish, that we need—

he has the vibe—

we need his talents on the movie.

Absolutely.

For Tevye, ooh, this is so good. We have 4 options. Sacha Baron Cohen, so good, but he's not fat enough. Liev Schreiber, he's not fat but he's big. Adam Sandler, it's pretty good. Jack Black.

Oh, sorry, Jack Black is the winner, obviously.

For the daughters, we have Adam Sandler's daughters.

Oh, Sunny! Wait, this is a really good casting.

I know. And Lea Michele.

Perfect.

For the men, we have one, Josh Peck.

For just which man?

Like the husband, the tailor.

Yeah, yeah, who's Laser Wolf?

Laser Wolf, Josh Gad.

Oh wait, this is so good.

The match—

Josh Gad could also be Tevye.

Yeah, no, he's a little young. Yeah, the matchmaker, Alex Bornstein.

Stop, this is so good.

For Goldie, that's the wife, we obviously—

the, like, the mother of Adam Sandler.

Yeah, the wife of Adam Sandler. Idina Menzel.

Oh, that's really good. But you know who we have to cast in this movie is Tovah Feltscher. She's, um—

oh my God, she's the—

she's the grandmother from Nobody Wants Us— the mother-in-law, excuse me, from Nobody Wants Us.

Wait, and then for our Cossack, we have Glen Powell.

Chilling.

Also at the bottom, unnamed, we just have Selma Blair and Jeff Garland. To what end?

Like, we want them involved in some capacity?

I think so. Okay, free idea, Hollywood. They're always looking for new ideas. Oh, Paszek and Paul on the remix would be insane. That soundtrack, that soundtrack is so amazing. Like, it actually feels like old Jewish music, like klezmer music that's been around. They feel like prayers, right? It's really— it's kind of how like the Schindler's List score, like has become the score of the Holocaust, you know what I mean?

Yeah, I didn't realize we were like going to talk about Schindler's List today. Like, that's just— I need to be in a very particular type of—

no, we're just talking about the Schindler's List score, just to say.

Like, personally, I can't talk about Schindler's List until I'm, until I'm just absolutely prepped for it.

Um, so I, I— yeah, but just think about the score, like, yeah, it feel—

yeah, yeah, you got the point.

That just—

yeah, no, I got it.

That just feels like the whole Holocaust now. Like, and I think that's the power of scoring.

Yeah, I think Hans Zimmer would agree.

I think Paszek and Paul— who did Schindler's List? Not to, not to bring it back.

All right, like, could we just move on?

We had to give credit, you know.

I want to say it was probably Mr. Zimmer.

I feel like too. Schindler's List score, John Williams.

Okay, slay Mr. Williams.

What else did he score?

We are like PFF being way close to the sun today. I do think we could dive in if you wanted to.

I do, but he also did Star Wars, Jaws, Jurassic Park, Indiana Jones, and the first three—

range, range—

first three Harry Potter films. The Harry Potter score is pretty iconic too.

Yeah, the little jingle, the jingle when they're like at Hogwarts.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, like you know it when you hear it.

Wow, what a talent. What a time. Let's dive into the Fast Five stories, shall we?

Sure, without further ado, here are the Fast Five stories that you need to know.

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Our first story— story's in no particular order today, couldn't find a lead story, but just winging it.

I guess the lead story is the friends we made along the way.

I guess that it is.

Very good. No jerk, no friends.

Very good. Just riffing.

Oh, okay. Don't worry. Like, what are you saying about me?

Don't worry, I'm not coming for your friends again.

Good.

So along the way of friends, our first story: Netflix source says they've sealed the deal on a return for The Crown, but it's not what you will expect. So Netflix is apparently producing a spin-off of The Crown set to take place starting at the death of Queen Victoria. So that would be 19— when did she pass? 1911. 1901, I forget.

So that is Lilibet. I have to like think of everything in the royal family as how they're related to Elizabeth.

That's her great-grand— she died— that's her like, yeah, great-great-grand. Um, but yeah, I guess the years after she died were kind of crazy. I think her oldest son passed. I believe he was engaged, and so like the girl who was going to be queen, I think she like kind of felt shit out of luck, but then she managed to woo the brother. And got—

I wouldn't spoil it honestly, because I don't know this era of history, and I know it happened, so you can't really spoil it. Yeah, but it's kind of like when Olivia spoiled that movie for me about Jimmy Hoffa. Yeah, she was like, and then he died. I'm like, wait, what? She's so annoying for that.

Um, it's nice to go into it blind. You're gonna forget everything that I've just said though, but I'm pretty sure that, um, that became like King George and Queen Mary, and I think That's Elizabeth's— no, this is— oh no, 1901. So yeah, that's Elizabeth's grandparents.

Yeah, it's not that far off.

And then did King George have the two sons and the one abdicated, and then King George?

We'll find out. Didn't they say they were doing another Crown? Oh, the Kennedys.

They're doing Crown: Kennedys, right?

Netflix is producing a Crown-like—

oh yeah, that's cool—

show about like the Bobby Ethel days.

Yeah, I've always said that Netflix should do a prequel of The Crown and pick up that show Victoria that never got more seasons and just make that the Netflix prequel. And so like, this is kind of that, because we already got two seasons of The Crown— I'm not— of The Crown, of Victoria, the rest of her life. I think she kind of went crazy, and it's like not as interesting. She married off all her children, you know. She had 8 of her children sitting on various thrones throughout Europe at one point. Like, all of the monarchs in Europe were like her grandchildren. Um, and so I think just cutting to 1901, like, that's literally what I asked for. Thank you so much.

Yeah, I think that The Crown left a gaping hole in people's interests, and I think the time was kind of perfect because she did pass as like the last season was airing. And it was, I think, all in all like a, a real love story to Queen Elizabeth. Obviously it showed her hard times making bad choices with Diana and even her sister, like, just let the sister marry, she was gonna marry him anyway. So overall I do think it was like a real, like a beautiful body of work and an ode to a life well lived in like a The Sovereign, you know, and everything she did. So now I think that they can and should explore other parts of the family because it really did pique this interest in people. People were— even like me, like, I never really was into the royal family or anything— obsessed with The Crown. Like, it was just an amazing show, and the fact that it was based on real life was even like better. But it was just a good show even if it wasn't based on true events, you know?

Yeah, but the fact— but yes, making it based—

that's why people like it, because a lot of people don't like history, but they just like, like good shows, and this was both. So I hope that they do it with different parts of the royal family and also the Kennedys. Like, that I'm sad for.

Yeah, me as well. Now I'm in the family tree. This is actually my favorite period of history, really, like Victoria— the Victorian era, and then the Edwardian era, which is also when Downton takes place.

Oh yeah, and I kind of know a lot about history, like, just through Downton and how it relates to, like, you know, the Titanic in 1912. Like, Downton Abbey taught me everything I know.

Yeah, that, like, took us from, like, 1912 to 1930. And then Crown picks up post-World War II, so like we're pretty much all caught up.

We're pretty set. Yeah, thanks Netflix.

So I'm very excited about this.

Yeah, no, this sounds good. And the people who do The Crown are just like good at their job. They do it so classy.

And I just want to say, like, they could recast some people from The Crown because if they're related, it's like okay if they look alike, you know?

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Just, they put— they pull from the same group of people, like people who filmed Downton Abbey, Game of Thrones. It's like that very British professional actor, like West End vibe.

You know who you might find?

Ted Lasso's coming back.

Yeah, and he's coming back to Virginia.

That was confusing. Why? They made this whole big thing about ending it.

Yeah, I didn't— I never watched it, and it did feel premature, but now he's coaching women's soccer in the US.

Right, which is like cute actually.

And funny. So it's kind of like a spinoff.

I will miss, what was his name? Roy? The player, Danny.

There was a lot of players.

Wait, no, football is live.

Oh, Danny, yeah.

Wait, speaking of Roy, I saw the craziest trailer for a movie he's in.

Okay.

He's in a rom-com, you're gonna die. Playing opposite— so he's like new at this company and there's like a big boss. She's like a Miranda Priestly vibe, like big woman in charge. I think it's a women's soccer team actually. And who's the boss? Like, you're going to die when I tell you. It's so fucking random.

I don't know.

Brett Goldstein, who's like the best character from Ted Lasso, is playing a romcom opposite Jennifer Lopez.

That's so good.

The trailer actually looked like an SNL skit. Like, it was not fucking real. I— and it's like a Netflix It's one of those really corny, like, Netflix rom-coms. I don't know if it's on Netflix, but it's like a streamer. I could not believe what I was watching. Like, it actually looked fake.

That's so funny. That's like what's gonna save the movie-making industry, because Steven Spielberg was saying like they have to start coming up with like original ideas for movies, or else like, you know, you can't just do remakes forever, right? That's what he was talking about. Like, that's sort of—

JLo and Brickell too.

That's sort of ingenuity.

I don't know why, like, the thought of them kissing freaks me out.

Yeah, I think you should watch it and report back.

Absolutely.

Yeah. In another—

what's it even called?

In my previous life, like, that was made for me, you know? Yeah, like a terrible corny bad acting romance movie.

And one thing about JLo, like, she does not let that— like, she is so dynamic, especially in her acting career, because every movie she's made in the last two decades, aside from the, um, stripper one, which one was that called? The Hustlers, is like corny and fake and like literally a joke. Like, yeah, but she got her start in acting as Selena. Like, she— and then, uh, Maid of Manhattan. She was like one of the most high-profile sought-after actresses— wedding planner— for like 10 years. And now every movie she makes is like actually fake. Yeah, like, I feel like there's a trailer but there's no movie.

Yeah, and no one notices because no one set out to see the movie.

I cannot tell you, besides for Hustlers, a movie she has made or been in in the last 10 years that's good.

Hmm, must I pull up her—

please don't, it's sad. Like, she did that movie Atlas, she did that movie like Marry Me with Owen Wilson. Remember, Justin Sylvester was in it? You did?

I did.

Was it good?

It was a movie, like, it passed muster.

So it wasn't just a trailer?

No, and it passed muster, you know. And Owen Wilson, like I saw it.

So random.

It was a movie that I saw.

And I feel the way about her that I kind of feel about Ariana Grande. It's really hard for like these big pop divas to be believable as actresses.

At least in that movie she was playing a big pop diva.

Oh, good.

Yeah.

Okay. That's why Glinda was good for Ariana, 'cause it was this like big larger than life personality. But like in The Fockers, I'm scared.

Yeah.

Because Harry Styles too, even though he did like a pretty decent job in his like brief acting career, I think the pop divas to stop. Like, it's— you— I'm sorry, you actually really can't be both unless you're Lady Gaga. But that's because her diva personality is literally a costume.

Yeah.

And she acts as Stefani. Like, she is— when you see her without makeup, she can probably go to the grocery store.

She's like a great example of someone— like, I feel like she did two movies.

I think she's probably at this point in time like doing it the best.

But sha—

not shallow—

Star Is Born was great because she really played like a Someone who—

early version of herself.

House of Gucci.

I didn't see it, so I really can't say.

Honestly, I, I— it wasn't great.

Although, but I think her acting career up until this point has been a huge success. She's in Oscar-nominated films. Like, she— I use her as an example. I think she's doing it the best. I don't think she's doing it perfectly, but— and that's because she really does have a different personality on stage than Like, Ari's Ari.

And also, she's not afraid to be ugly.

I mean, the whole point of that Star Is Born movie was that she had a big nose.

Yeah, but, and like, how's that Gucci? She's playing like some like old woman maiden. Yeah, she's never been afraid to be ugly, and you have to be that way if you're an actor.

And let me tell you who's afraid to be ugly: Jennifer Lopez.

Jennifer Lopez. Ariana Grande.

Ariana Grande.

Kim Kardashian. And they're afraid to be fat. Yeah, yeah. If you're not willing to gain and lose weight for roles, you should have to like gain 20 pounds in order to get your SAG-AFTRA card, just to prove, just to prove that you're dedicated.

Absolutely.

Are you ready for our next story? Pete Davidson and Elsie Hewitt are working through relationship issues. Sources have said that they have split, but People magazine is saying that they are just having relationship issues and working through those, which Sounds like, you know, broken up. Why would we know if they're in a fight, um, 5 months after they welcomed their baby girl, Scottie Rose? So the source says there are issues, but they're trying to figure things out together. They're adjusting to parenthood and working through the process.

Like, maybe the issue is that she's postpartum and he should just leave her alone. Like, yeah, I don't know how you can make a big decision 5 months postpartum. Like, that's just impossible.

No, you can't. And like, barring like really terrible, terrible things, cheating, just put it on— whatever the issues are, just put— set them aside for a second, focus on the baby, and deal with it like when you feel like yourself again.

Yeah, I want to say something that I feel like is controversial, but it shouldn't be. But like, barring any sort of extreme circumstances like abuse or cheating, like, breaking up with your partner when you just had a baby, like, should be illegal.

You shouldn't do it to the baby or to yourself.

Yeah, like, for everyone.

Yeah, barring—

and that's barring anything.

Yeah, but yeah, like, I feel like this is a trend.

I'm hearing it like happen a lot with celebrities who literally have a baby and 5 minutes later Really? Yeah, I don't— I can't remember like why I think that, but I feel like we've reported on a couple of stories like this and it's actually so sad.

It's so sad.

Like, it's sad for the, the couple that then they either don't have their child all the time in Hollywood of celebrity couples who have split immediately after having a baby.

You either aren't with your baby all the time, which is so sad, or the times when you are with your baby, you're like single parenting it, which is so hard.

There actually are a handful of recent pretty high-profile examples. Oh, Cardi B and Offset. Yeah, filed for divorce in mid-2024, announced pregnancy with their third child immediately after. Baby was born September. Um, Cardi B also and Stefon Diggs. She's two, two of these examples. Uh, Molly Mae and Tommy Fury split it. They technically split within one year after a baby, but they did get back together.

Yeah, and that was— they tried, you know.

Ellie Goulding and Caspar Jopling. I don't know who that is. Pete Davidson and Elsie Hewitt. Wow, chat updates quickly. I don't know who these people are. Millie McIntosh and Hugo Taylor.

I don't know.

Yeah, I hate this. Like, I seriously hate this.

Yeah, like, make it work, put it aside, compartmentalize, and just try and get through this difficult time. And then, like, and then focus on the issues. But it's not going to be easy. It's not going to be easy.

No, of course not. But I think that also, like, when you're so famous, a lot of the issues— actually, no, I'm not going to say that. I take that back.

Okay.

I don't agree with what I was going to say.

Rescinded.

Stricken from the record. Having money when you have a baby, like, makes things 100 times easier. So it's like, what do you have to fight about? But there's still things to fight about, so I take that back.

Yeah, stricken from the record.

Yeah, stricken from the record. Know thyself. Like, be self-aware.

Yeah, so yeah, I, I hope they get back together or figure it out.

I also just want to say, I don't meet any people named Elsie, and I really like the name.

It's pretty.

It is.

That was like my in utero name for Harry, Elsie.

Little camper.

Yeah. And then I was like, honestly, if this were a girl, that would be a really cute name, Elsie.

Yeah, put in your back pocket.

Yeah. Um, our next story Brooksy is getting down down under. Brooks Nader and Taryn Egerton take a dip during a romantic Australian beach date. So the two of them were packing on the PDA in the ocean, sharing an embrace and holding hands on their way out of the ocean where they both dunked, and they still proceeded to kiss. So it's love.

Yeah, um, obviously not to make everything about me, but one of my favorite fun facts is that I am on Brooks Nader's story. So like, I did know a few days ago that they were headed to Australia because she put it on her close friends.

But then why are these pictures only coming out now? And now she's also back in New York.

That's weird.

Yeah, like she's just time traveling.

I'm having the same sort of experience with this that I had with Kylie and Timothée, because I famously like never thought Timothée Chalamet was even remotely good-looking, and I still don't think he's like that hot, but I sort of get it. I get why people are obsessed with him. I understand how one person could think he's hot. Now, before Brixie, I never really thought of Taron Egerton as like a deeply handsome individual. I never really thought of him, period. And now, picture Yeah, no, and I'm like, oh, he's a good actor, but I never thought like— he isn't my favorite movie, but I never thought like, oh, that's somebody I'd like to lay with.

He's not on our eligibles list, right?

But then seeing this picture of like him sort of guiding Brooksie out of the ocean, he's ripped, I said, oh, that is— I guess, yeah, a handsome guy.

Yeah, he also like looks older than her. Yeah, in like in a nice way, but he's only 36. And she's 20.

He's treating her well.

Yeah, I hope so. I feel like he is. He seems like a good guy, but I think she likes like toxic men, so—

oh, I know.

So I don't know, but really cute. And they're like really— they're all in.

I love this. I guess like, is he from Australia or they just took a trip?

I think they just took a trip. I don't think—

that's really far to go for just like a vacation.

Maybe he's promoting a movie, you know, there's a lot of work down there.

She's so busy. Like, who has time to go to Australia?

Yeah, it's a lot.

If not for work, that's a lot.

Like, I feel like a 24-hour flight— how long is it? Far is it?

Like, well, they probably went from LA, so I feel like, like 19.

But still, she like works a lot, so 19 hours of not working, it must be true love.

I don't think this is the end-all be-all for her, but I think this is like a nice, like, you know, a notch in her belt.

I wish she was a singer or something so she was like writing songs about these relationships, because she has a lot of good ones.

And it's like she has her show, like an art form of— yeah, her show. And they did— so I guess like the previous footage we had seen is being completely scrapped, because on her Instagram and all the girls, they're like filming again. And it seems like they've just started filming. Yeah. So I think we're, we're gonna be getting Taryn. I don't know if he's gonna be on the show, but obviously they'll talk about the relationship. I need them to turn it around quickly. Like, I seriously don't have time to wait, because by the time they— at the pace that they're moving, she'll have another boyfriend by the time this is airing, and it's like, it's irrelevant.

Yeah, yeah, I agree. I'm sad for it now.

Yeah.

Are you ready for our next story?

What number? 4.

Yeah, the Swifties are in a tizzy because Taylor Swift's website briefly displayed a Toy Story-style countdown. So a mysterious countdown briefly appeared on Taylor Swift's official website on April 30th, and it was enough to send fans into full detective mode. So the clock, which was roughly set 10, which was up for 10 minutes before being taken down, counted down to 1 PM Central Time, 2 PM Eastern Time on May 2nd. That's tomorrow. Even more intriguing is the background featured unmistakable Toy Story-inspired blue and white clouded imagery, prompting immediate speculation about a potential crossover or soundtrack announcement, because we know Toy Story 5 is coming out.

I can't imagine she would ever release something on a Saturday, um, that quite literally makes no sense. Like, music comes out on a Friday and announcements on the weekends just get buried. Like, so I don't understand this. I, I wish she, like, if it is like a song for Toy Story, like, she can't really abuse the countdown thing, I just want to say. And I feel like she does sometimes. It's like a countdown to another vinyl or a new piece of merch, and it's like, the countdown should be reserved for serious things.

Yeah, well, I just like don't really care about the countdowns anymore. Now this is interesting because of the Toy Story element, but if she had just put a countdown on her website and took it off, like I'm sorry, we can't, we can't go through this again.

I can't do this again. Yeah. No, it clearly is something, whether she's, you know, voicing a character or probably writing an original song, like very Trolls, Justin Timberlake. That's how you get those big hits. Like, love that.

Yeah.

Love, love, love.

That would be really cute. Also, the timing is notable cuz Toy Story 5 is set to hit theaters on June 19th, 2026, the same date that marks the 20th anniversary of her debut single, Tim McGraw.

I don't think— I think that's just a coincidence. I think she has so many singles that like there's a literally an anniversary. What the hell would Tim McGraw have to do with an original song?

When you hear Woody and Buzz—

oh, you think she's rewriting it?

I hope that makes sense.

To be Buzz Lightyear.

Buzz Lightyear. Honestly, my household, that would go platinum.

It would go platinum.

Yeah, I kind of like love what I just wrote.

Like, yeah, chilling. It's giving, um What was that Selena Gomez song I wrote?

I Am Single.

Yes, I Am Single.

I Am Me.

I'm gonna dance with your heart. Remember? Yeah, I Like Being Alone Too Much to Dance with Your Heart.

But what was the name of her song, the one she ended up releasing? Like, we knew she was releasing a song, she gave us a title, so then we tried to—

I'll Be Single Soon. I'll Be Single Soon. I'm full of useless information, like, it's insane.

Seriously, the worst never.

Absolutely agree. Hard to— 10 out of 10 agree.

So I hope this is something—

I love this journey. Obviously I'm very toxic and I want Taylor to have babies really, really soon, just selfishly, like, so she can be in the same place that I am and I can relate to her even more, you know, more deeply than I do. And so I love you getting into the children's space, Taylor. Love that. What if it's a pregnancy announcement? No, I'm kidding. I'm so toxic.

That would be really funny. No, I hope it's a song for the soundtrack, like what it should be.

100%. I mean, and that song for Justin Timberlake might be his biggest song ever. What's the song? Sunshine in my Pocket. That's from Trolls. Kelly Clarkson also wrote a song for Trolls. It's broken but it's beautiful. Oh my God, Kathy Hilton on the reunion saying that she tried a diet that Oprah Winfrey, Michelle Obama, and Kelly Clarkson tried. She's so funny.

And it turned out to be fake.

Yeah, of course. And like, literally, it should have been a sponsored segment for like elder abuse on the internet. Like, AI is so dangerous.

Yeah. Well, we're gonna get into the Beverly Hills recap, but first, our fifth and final story, which is brought to you by Booking.com.

Booking.com.

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Thank you, slash thirst.

You're welcome, just our fifth and final story.

Emily Blunt is getting some backlash for her, quote, awful career advice. So Emily Blunt is being slammed on social media for telling fans to quit their jobs and settle for making no money. Basically, she did a YouTube interview with Betches where she was asked if she has advice for, quote, women who are hating their jobs right now. She said, quit. No. And then she laughed and added, just find something that you deeply want to do. If even if you're earning no money, as long as you love it, you'll be happy. So fans are calling out her awful career advice, noting that it's easy for her to say, $80 million net worth, blah, blah, blah. People saying that could only be said by an overprivileged person, people calling her entitled, out of touch.

No matter what she said, people weren't gonna want the advice because like it's coming from a place of privilege. Because what, what if she said, well, that's too bad, you got to earn a living, stay at your miserable job?

Like, what the fuck? Kim got canceled for saying nobody wants— nobody wants to work these days, get your fucking ass up and work. That's bad.

You can't talk about remote work versus in-office. It's like a cancelable offense. We know. You— so, and we love—

advice.

Even Jackie Reese Witherspoon was trying to help women with AI and she got backlash.

Like, there's actually—

don't want to hear it.

There is no answer to this question that will not get you hate. So actually, like, set her up with that because she's actually giving like the soft answer for woke's quit, do what you love.

And now, right, who cares about bills?

Yeah, money is a construct, right? Just steal. Yeah, but if she like literally getting hate for that, I'm actually shocked she's getting hate for this answer. Because this is the sort of thing like keyboard warriors like actually want. They don't want to be told hard things like get to work, right? You know, slap a smile on your face.

It's a bad question.

They set her up. They seriously trapped her.

100%.

They have something against her because like, what is your advice for women?

What was the question?

What's your advice who are— for women who are currently hating their jobs?

I mean, there's literally no good answer because you could say like, just get over it. Or you have a living to make, and you could say, oh yeah, quit, and money's a construct. Like, that's actually just bad advice. I want to say, like, people work because they have to, not because they want to. Yeah, there's no good answer. It's a bad question.

It's a bad question. I wouldn't even, like, endeavor to answer it now, you know. There's no right answer. Suck it up.

And the thing is, nobody wants to hear from me. Nobody wants to hear from Emily Blunt either.

No. Because she doesn't— I think they are like trying to make it because like Emily and Andy, of course, you guys, it's a movie. Is everyone feeling okay? Like, it's a movie. She didn't actually play like an abused assistant.

I guess this would be a good question for like Emma Greed, who's currently on like a world tour for her book.

Yeah, people don't want to hear what she has to say about it either because they're not going to like what she has to say. She's a hard worker.

3 hours a week.

She's a tough cookie.

What do you think about 3 hours a week? She— it sucks because like She wrote this whole book about her life and it has been reduced to this like one thing.

Was it 3 hours a week or 3 hours a day?

Week.

So she's a— she's with her kids 3 hours a week, she said?

That's what she said. She's very open about the fact that she spends no time with her kids. She has 3, and they're, you know, of course well taken care of. They have nannies, they have a staff, they have extracurriculars, they have a horse, like, but they don't technically have a present mother.

I didn't realize she was 3 hours a week. I thought it was 3 hours a day.

Which 3 hours a day for like a working mom is actually a lot. Some moms only get like the hour before bed.

Yeah.

So, and no, it's 3 hours a week.

That's low.

Yeah, that's low. And like, you are a billionaire now, so like, isn't the exciting part of being a billionaire that like you can spend time with your kids? I think there are a lot of women who are open about the fact that like they don't want to work less and they want to have balance, but like, do you want to see your kids at all?

What about the weekends? Like, how is it 3 hours including the weekends?

She talks about the weekends because that's what people say, and she's like—

I saw a clip of her talking about it, but I just assumed it was 3 hours a day, and I was like, so it's 3 hours a day? She'll like—

okay, like, that's actually pretty good for like a billionaire.

Yeah, for someone who's like working full-time trying to like build shit.

Yeah.

Um, so what'd she say about the weekends?

What she said about the weekends is that she like can't completely unplug, and there's still— she also thinks she wants to do for herself, right?

I mean, when are you gonna get your nails done? When are you gonna go see the doctor, catch up socially. Not— but like, there's so many just little things, you know. Gotta run errands.

Yeah, of course it adds up.

Get a wax.

Yeah, I thought that was like brave of her. I don't judge, but I would never share that.

But she's obviously like very confident in herself and, and her parenting skills. And you know, it takes a confident person to say that.

Yeah.

And someone who's pleased with how things are going for her and her family to be like, this is how I do it and it's working out great. So I'm sure it is working out. I'm sure, I'm sure she's got it on lock. Has it always been that way? Did she say like even when she had little babies?

She didn't mention.

She—

but they're not that old, like they're little kids still.

Yeah, I guess it's like the truth, you know, if you want to like crush life as a woman, like yeah, you're not going to see your kids.

And I saw actually like a lot of discourse, um, about it on TikTok of like, you know, from kids who had really ambitious moms And it was really divided. A lot of the people were like, no, I'm obsessed with my mom, she instilled this insane sense of ambition in me, and like, she was a role model. And, and then other people being like, well, we just wanted her to come home, like, that's all we really cared about. Ambition schmambition.

Yeah, that's like when people do something really big and they're like, I want my kids to see me follow my dreams.

No, and sometimes I feel like it does leave a lasting impression on the kids, and sometimes the kid just wants you to come home.

I don't think they notice.

Like, well, some of the TikTok girls were saying that they did.

No, but it depends on the age of the kids, depends on the dream. But I feel like sometimes people do selfish things and they're like, it's good for my kids to see me following my dream.

Yeah, no, it has become just like a thing people say. It's like, had a one— it was— it's a former truth that's now just like a thing.

It's like, I don't know if that registered for them that like, Mom, okay, I didn't get to see her today, but she's there too. She's following her dream. Okay, all good.

Let's talk about the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Part 2 reunion. It should have been the final part. They really like don't need 3 parts for this reunion. Um, but it was very metafranchise heavy.

I'm enjoying—

me too, especially now that Jennifer Tilly and Kathy showed up.

And my workload has been light recently, so I don't mind, you know, tuning in on a Thursday for a hoba.

I was really shocked. I mean, it was not a major reunion. This wasn't a major moment, but I was curious to see like how the conversation between Sutton and Jennifer Tilly was gonna go, because Jennifer Tilly is such a good friend. And when they compiled all the moments where, like, Sutton barked at her this season, it was kind of painful to watch. Like, she's a really nice woman, Jennifer Tilly. And the fact that Jennifer Tilly apologized was shocking to me.

Yeah, I, I just think their friendship is, like, so much deeper than the show, more important. Yeah, even if Sutton was, like, acting out of turn, like, Jennifer knows her well enough. And, like, being with your friend on a show like this, like, I just think it speaks to having a real friendship and like not kicking someone when they're down. And just because like you went, went crazy didn't mean that I needed to go and like open my mouth to people that don't like you, you know?

Yeah, but the apology should have been bigger and first from Sutton. Yeah, for like being so demeaning to her friend.

Yeah, yeah.

Now I thought it was a really, um, interesting like window into Kyle and Mauricio. I feel like I have a better understanding now because their situation is extremely bizarre. He has no interest in getting back together with her. I think she would if he would, but they're not moving forward with the divorce legally. And it's so clearly a financial thing because Kyle is 100% right. I feel like when we talk about like, like the whole stay-at-home mom culture, like she's literally the embodiment of like he is only successful because she held it the fuck down. And yes, he did launch the agency like marketing-wise on Beverly Hills Housewives, but more so they have 4 children. Like he was able to build this business and he's pretty young so successfully because she was at home holding it down. Like, let's be real.

But also because of the— she wasn't just at home. Like, she was working. It was her name. It was her show. It was her circle of friends.

It was her sister too. People don't forget Mauricio started at Hilton and Highland, and that was kind of like the— yeah, initial.

No, but it's like her— she gave him the platform and the launching pad via the show and her connections to build the agency. So it's not even just cuz she was home raising the kids, which of course like is a full-time job.

Of course.

Should be compensated in a situation like this. But like the agency would not be the agency if he were not married to Kyle.

100%.

Beverly Hills, period.

She is entitled to like exactly half. Like she is an equal partner. And I feel as though just like, like now my, my take on the situation is that he's definitely manipulating and using the fact that like Kyle still like holds a candle for him and would love for her family to get back together, using that like sort of glimmer of hope to not file and using Kyle's being very generous because she absolutely can and should walk away with half the company. I think that would be devastating for Mauricio. Um, and so yeah, they don't have to yet because neither one of them are dating someone, and I don't know if Mauricio will ever get married again. I could see them being— who was that woman? Diana?

Yeah.

Were they— was she ever legally divorced?

Oh, I don't know.

Diana, remember, she like, she got half of her billionaire husband's everything, but I don't know if they ever got divorced. I think they still share—

she was with a new guy, they were having babies.

She was dating that guy Angel.

Yeah, so I guess for Mauricio, he really has to choose like what's more important to him, like his freedom or his business.

Like, right? And I think right now it's his freedom, but he's still— I'm sorry, it's his business, but he still gets his freedom. That's what Rachel Zoe was saying. Like, he's— we see it sometimes publicly, but I think it's worse. Rachel was like, I see him out every single night, he's living a completely different life. And Kyle's like sitting at home thinking that maybe one day they'll get back together.

Yeah, but like, if Kyle were to drop the hammer and be like, okay, like I'm filing and I'm taking half of the agency, like, would he come home?

No.

So his freedom—

I don't think so.

Important than his business.

But she should lay the hammer down. Yeah, she has nothing to— he stands to lose half, she stands to gain a lot. Like, she'll be fine. Yeah, but she, you know, she's officially losing her family, and she doesn't want that. And you know what, when I watch that scene back, um, at Amanda's house, I remember thinking her reaction was like kind of nutty. But like, seeing Portia at that desk, like, it was actually— it was heartbreaking. It really was.

Of course, like, the underlying thread is like, if they never move moved into the big fancy house, if they never like, you know, just moved on up in this world and they just lived, continued their simple life, like, would they still be together if they never left that house?

Kyle really believes that, yeah. She said if, if they had moved to Vail and he became a ski instructor, they would still be together. And no, she blames like the fame and the fortune on their demise.

If they hadn't left that house, would they still be together?

I think the house, like, well, they still would have ascended into like a different rank of wealth and a different like circle of people. So I don't think it was the house that— it's what house represents.

Yeah, so I think for her that's really painful to just like be in a place that were the best years of your life and you can't get it back.

No, it's really sad.

But I did understand his reaction more now when I watched it. I was like, wow, he could give two fucks about all of this. But her explaining like he's really just interested in the property and what they've done with it, and that's his— I, I could, I could see that. Like, oh hey, it's not emotional for him, it's just, it's just—

but he's obviously emotionally disconnected from Kyle and their former life, and she's so connected to it. And that is just like, you're never gonna work. Yeah, when that's the case.

Yeah.

So, um, yeah, Amanda Francis, I kind of like her.

I like her too. And I feel like I also like forget she's kind of a new mama, you know?

And she's young.

She's young. I think she has a baby, she has a lot of kids, like she's just doing her best, you know? And she is like the breadwinner of her family. Like, that's a lot of pressure.

Like, pressure.

I think she has 5 kids, she's the sole provider, they're living in Beverly Hills. Like, mama's gotta hustle.

And I sort of appreciate her overall demeanor of like anytime she's accused of like being corny or like showing off her bags, she's just like, yeah, well, I thought that's what we're supposed to do. This is like a show about rich women.

Yeah, I feel like she really—

I feel like she doesn't hide.

Yeah, she owned all of her stuff. When someone said to her like, I didn't like you did that she's like, okay, yeah, she apologized to Dorit.

And I thought also Dorit owed her a little bit of an apology. Like, it just would have been nice. I just want to say, like, the night at Rachel Zoe's, like, like, I'm sorry. Like, just to say, Dorit didn't apologize for anything. And I'm actually firmly team Dorit, but like, it's okay to apologize for like little things.

I agree. I think it's important to apologize sometimes because no one's right.

That was like a big check in Amanda's column. She— I forget what it was for, but she was like, oh no, you're right, I'm sorry.

And I maintain I felt this way watching the season, and I thought it was because I wasn't paying enough attention. But I maintain that like Amanda speaking at the table after like other people said it, and then she said it too, and now it's like Amanda's big crime. Everybody needs to fucking let it go. Sutton said it, Kyle said it, Amanda said it. Like, who cares that Amanda said it? The point is she doesn't—

the least relevant.

It hurts more when it's your real friends saying stuff about you. So like, it's really not a big deal. Everyone harping on it for episodes this season that, you know, she took what you said and said it like, shut up. I find it really boring, and it's like really not that deep.

Also, Amanda— uh, Boze to me has only really had like one bad moment, and it keeps getting worse. Um, she shouldn't have come for Amanda like at all. And now we're talking about like her short tenure, and her answer to Andy about CMOs are supposed to be short tenure was really bad. I've never like thought anything negatively about her career, like She's boss, boss, boss. And now like that answer made me wanna do a deep dive. Like that's not true. No. And then when, not only her saying that they're supposed to be short tenure, but that like when things go wrong at a company, more often than not the CMO gets blamed. That's just fucking not true.

Well, she said two completely convicting things. She said, yeah, they were short jobs cuz it was mission accomplished. Came in, did the mission, I'm out. Which is about—

but then also you're getting blamed.

No, but if you're doing a good job, like no one would let you go.

The stock doesn't fall. No, that was actually, she should have had a better answer prepared.

And then she said, but sometimes you get blamed for when things go wrong. So You said two different things. And when ChatGPT did say that, like, that is a valid criticism. Like, working for so many companies, like, isn't a slay.

Short. Yeah.

You know, then you like, yeah, you're just going different places until you're found out. Yeah.

No. And it's like, I don't want to look into it, but I fear that your answer sort of intrigued me.

And also everyone like using ChatGPT as the end-all be-all. Like, first of all, when she said to her ChatGPT, who is Bozoma Saint John? Chat knows that you are Bozoma Saint John.

So do you think—

yeah, chat knows who you are. Who— they know they're talking to you. If you ever sent them a contract—

kind of scary.

Say, what's my name?

What's my full name? I don't actually have access to your personal identity unless you explicitly tell me in conversation. If you'd like me to use a specific name, just tell me.

Let me see if my chat knows my name. How would they not know your name?

What's my name? I said full name. You haven't told me your name in this conversation, so I actually don't know it.

Oh, what's my name? Your name is Jackie. And you use chat a lot. You chat like more than I do. And also I would imagine Boze uses chat a lot because that's her first instinct is let's ask ChatGPT.

Yes, she must.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So like if you ever had chat format an email from you with the from your name, like I actually haven't, and I also haven't sent Chad a contract, so maybe I actually have not just actually told them my name. That's crazy. Good for you.

Should I say my name is— say John?

Well, you know what, you could ask Chad about Bozoma. You ask Chad.

Yeah, who—

ask Chad.

I don't need to know. The thing is, I had no— no suspicions about her.

Taylor, to hype her up is all I'm saying.

So of course that's what Andy was saying.

Her being shocked that they got different answers is not shocking at all.

Um, but she should stop barking up that tree because the only time she's ever looked bad is coming for Amanda. And I love how she's giving this like actually brain-dead answer about CMOs being short tenure and Dorit sitting there nodding. She's so supportive. Yes, exactly.

CMO. And Dorit should, because that's her best friend. Like, you should support your friends even when they're wrong. Um, I firmly do believe that.

Yeah, of course.

Uh, and also, just like last week, her saying that her business wasn't a failure was actually a charity exercise. Like, the spin, this—

yeah, it's like, I'm sorry, an online course is an online course because it's not free. Yeah, if it was free, that's a charitable endeavor. She said it's something she loses money on.

Yeah, it should be free. Hysterical.

Yeah, kind of a bad look for Bose, and she really has not had a bad look like since her time on the show started.

Yeah, but she just like went too hard with Amanda, and at the end of the day, it's like, if people want to buy her courses, like, what's the problem?

It's punching down too. Like, you're up here like—

yeah, with your Uber, PepsiCo, like, like, let the little course girl go.

Let the course go.

Let her— like, who is she hurting with her courses? Like, people have free will.

Well, New York Magazine just did like a big article. She's they say that she's like a grifter who's like funding her own life, like manipulating women into buying her courses. But free will, like, sorry, I believe women are smart, you know.

I think that like, that works if you think women have like no agency and don't know what to do with themselves or their money or their time. But like, I agree that you can pick and choose what you want to do.

And, and if you want to choose AmandaFrancis.com, go ahead. Uh, what else happened this reunion? Erica like piped in a little bit to defend Dorit, which I appreciate.

On the point that I could care less.

I know, I know, but I need them to work it out.

I know, but you could tell there's a lot of love there.

I know there's no love between Kyle and Dorit.

And it's like Erica got set off and got really nasty in Italy, and so like she was wrong. Even the— even when she was just like, why are you talking to your kids? We all have kids. You think yours are more important? Like blah blah blah. Like she was— she like lost I think any sympathy there, but like Dorit obviously set her off, and like Dorit can apologize for saying like whatever she said that brought Erika to that level, you know?

No, um, Dorit's incapable of taking ownership of like small things, and that will be her downfall because I think overall she has been wronged by her friends, but she's also not perfect. She's showing up late, and she can't just like apologize, being like, oh, I'm so sorry. Like, it's, it's so fucking rude to be late. It is my biggest pet peeve. If you're a chronically late person I'm sorry, that's just you saying like, I am more important. Like, I agree with what everyone's saying, so just apologize. Like, it's so little. We don't think you're trying to hurt people. So like, the fact that she can't even give like one little apology— everyone in the group is saying, I'm sorry for that, like this.

She can't even do that.

It's pissing me off.

Yeah, agreed.

But she looks great.

She does look great.

Her hair looks like fabulous. I love the bangle.

Everyone's like, I think Kyle looks really beautiful.

Me too. And she looks young. Like, she is a 50, 60-something-year-old woman wearing a sleeveless dress. Her arms look killer. Her face looks tight and like, she looks good. Erica looks beautiful, always glam. Like, to— I fucking love that Jennifer Tilly.

Yeah, Sutton looks very good. And when they flash back to— I don't know if because you were watching on your phone— they flash back to last reunion when they were talking about the drinking, and you can see—

I missed that.

You can see she much better, and I feel like it's because of the drinking.

Yeah, well, that'll do it.

Yeah, I mean, talk about an over— like, if you want to just look better, mm-hmm, drink less.

No can do, my friend.

No, you don't drink a lot. Am I talking to you?

No, I don't. I had like half a glass of wine last night. Slay.

Red wine? You posted a cup of red wine.

Oh, well, because I just posted a picture of the table and everyone was commenting. I guess The guy sitting next to me had like the biggest— you're supposed to fill a glass of red wine like max half. It was filled to the brim. So I was just like remarking on it because everyone was like cracking up at that glass of wine.

Oh, that's really funny. People, eagle-eyed viewers.

I know. Um, so part 3, like, sure, whatever. Uh, that's all I have. Yeah, well, the place looks beautiful.

Well, it always does.

Thank you guys so much for listening to the Toast of the Morning Show. We deliver the fast stories you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube. So watching us on YouTube, please don't forget to subscribe and give this video a thumbs up. Also available as podcast and where podcasts can be found, that's Spotify, iTunes, Stitcher, Public Radio, iHeartRadio, CastBox, all the places where we listen to podcasts. Find us at ToastTV. Leave a 5-star review about how beautiful, stunning, and wickedly talented we are.

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