Transcript of Deadbeat Davidson: Friday, May 22nd, 2026 New

Good morning, girlies.

It's The Toast.

It's Jackson, Claude, and we're your hosts.

It's your favorite show, the fast 5 things you need to know. We'll start your day off swirly. It's The Toast.

I sound amazing.

Welcome back to The Toast and happy Friday. Friday. Yeah, that's right. You made it to the end of the week. Congratulations. Pat yourself on the back, girl.

Hey, Jackie Durf. Happy Friday. That's a good one. This was a long week.

Oh, so funny. I feel like it was a short week and like, because yesterday was just sort of like backyard barbecue vibes, I really felt like yesterday was Friday.

Was Saturday night. It was— no, Friday.

I'm being positive. Friday. And so today I was like, oh, it's giving Saturday.

Yeah, I guess it's, it's giving Saturday cuz we have like a fun day planned. Where it's actually like the toast is getting away of like the day, you know, like, because it feels like a weekend day. I would agree with that.

Like, it already feels like the weekend, except it's not because I have important things to do today. I have to go get my thumb stimulated, like appointment number 2 of the week. Um, remember when I said I was like feeling stuff? I'm not anymore. So like, I need another appointment.

Okay.

Um, we're recording a Patreon episode, which will be really fun.

Yeah, we've got to do the thirst. Yeah.

Um, so just like—

was that it?

That's a lot.

No, that is a lot. And then we can get on to like the fun portion of the day, the activities portion.

I didn't watch any TV last night besides the Knick Games. Like, I don't have anything to contribute to the TV recap if there was anything to watch.

I don't think that there was. I mean, we were just like barbecuing and celebrating all day yesterday, right?

Shout out to my almost Queenie of the Week, but somebody else took your spot, my sister Jax, for throwing such a gorgeous first birthday party. We had like a backyard barbecue yesterday with like a little bounce house. Jackie got a cake, she put up signs. The theme was disco because we were grooving with Ruben.

It was great. The theme was grooving with Ruben.

It was so cute. It was literally the best day of my personal life, like better than any birthday I've ever had. So it was amazing, and it's Queenie material. But unfortunately, you'll see somebody I preceded you.

Oh, okay. That's fine. Um, what was I gonna say about— oh, so we were saying how like Ruby definitely like felt special, special. Like he probably doesn't understand the concept of birthday, but like you wonder if like on their special day, do they know that it's a special day? Yeah. And that's all I ever want for like a child's first birthday is like today is unlike any other day. Like it's very special.

Yeah.

And there's just an awareness that like, oh, today was different and it was lovely. It was all about me.

It was so special. We got great presents. I didn't have to buy anything. Uh, I just wanna say another almost queenie, but again, somebody else took her spot. I'm gonna give a moment to Shannon Ford. Shannon Ford is literally one of the best friends I've ever had. Like, so I'm not home right now, but I know that I got a bunch of packages, and I know that one of them was a gift from Shannon for Ruby's birthday, which is so sweet, um, from Bergdorf's. I don't know what it is yet, but like, I know that I saw that I got a notification that I have a box. She's so thoughtful. Like, she doesn't live in the city, and like, just so nice to send. You don't need to. Lo and behold, Olivia comes to the barbecue yesterday. She's like, I have a package for you, it's from Shannon. I'm like, what? Shannon sent me like 10 of the cutest, the cutest baby like smocked outfits. She's thoughtful enough to send them. I don't even know how she knew I was gonna be in Florida. Like insane. She's so thoughtful and like it makes me feel like the worst friend ever.

I know. It's literally like I can't take her. Like I seriously can't take her. Queenie material.

In addition to having a heart of gold that she has.

The love language.

No, I think she, it's also like Southern manners.

Yeah.

Like she's just like has manners.

Yeah. I'm like a bitch from New York.

And like these formalities. They really mean something. Do you know that she once got me a gift of a subscription to Southern Living? I got my copy yesterday cuz like she thought I would love the magazine.

Stop.

That's like, seriously, isn't that so thoughtful?

That's definitely her love language is gift giving. Um, and I just like, I always feel so special.

Yeah.

I need to get her another gift just cuz she got a little like romper that has like, it's like bloomers. It's like a really short, like such a cute romper that's like smocked and has little golf carts on it. And then it says Daddy's Caddy. Like, seriously sick. She's so cute. So shout out to that almost queenie. It's kind of the theme of today.

Almost queenies.

Yeah.

Well, I look forward to seeing who your queen is. I feel like I'm actually really hyping it up because the bar is very high.

So the Knicks won last night.

Mm-hmm.

2-2.

Oh, I didn't know that.

Yeah. And like, so Ben was like, should we go to a bar and watch? And I had said yes.

Oh, you said you were going to a bar.

And then like, as the day went on, like, it was just not happening. And so when we got home, I was like, I will go, but like, let's just watch it in bed. How fun is that? Like, what's more fun than watching it in bed?

After like, you makeup on after a fulfilling day. Yeah.

And he was like, I know you're going to fall asleep, can we watch in the living room? And I was like, no. So I made it to the fourth quarter. I did fall asleep, but for some reason these games are starting at 8:00 PM. Usually they start at 7:00. That's insane to start a game at 8:00 PM.

Is there a time change with whomever they're playing?

No. And the game was in New York, like insane. Ben said that it's like so West Coast people can like be included, but like we seriously don't care about them. Um, the Knicks won 2-0. Now you have to win to— you have to get 4 games to like— and if they win this one, then they go to the finals.

Okay. And last year they didn't go to the finals.

No, this is, this is their back to back. They've made it this far.

Okay. And they're playing the Cavaliers.

They're playing the Cavaliers. I do, do not know when the last time they made it to the finals was, but like it will probably be the first in Ben's lifetime.

And if they make it to the finals, like, well, you guys are going back to New York soon anyway, but like if they make it to the finals, we have to go. You're going back to New York.

Like seriously. Immediately.

Yeah.

Yeah. Like Ben is thinking about going to Cleveland next week, which is insane, but like if he wants to go, sure. Have fun. Um, yeah. We'll have to go. It will be insane. So they only need to win 2 more games, and honestly, they're gonna want to change it. Like, the other team sucks. Like, both games, like, wasn't even a competition. Actually, I'm sorry, the first game they were like down by a lot and then came back.

Right, I remember that when you woke up.

Last game, it was just like a runaway last night. So it's very exciting. I'm obviously— I'm on Knicks talk. Like, Knicks fans, we always say like Philly sports fans are crazy, and it's like, we actually don't know how crazy New York fans are because they never win.

So there's never anything at stake, right?

So Philly's like always celebrating something, whether it's a Super Bowl or like a big loss, but it's still We are like never sort of like in the mix.

There's never big moments.

And so we are in the mix, and I'm letting you know, like, people are not okay. Like, I would imagine, actually, they say that they're going to take down the Statue of Liberty and like, like, carry her through the streets if they win. Like, they're not going to be okay. Knicks fans are so crazy. And like, honestly, I'm really getting like— I'm really getting into it.

Okay.

I love—

'99.

Oh, so okay, Ben was 7 years old.

Yeah.

But I don't know if he was a Knicks fan then. It's just very exciting.

I'm sure he was.

Absolutely. Ben, like, this is the most important thing. I guess this is like his equivalent to like Taylor Swift.

Oh yeah. I was gonna say it's literally, it sounds like the same as like Zach and the Cowboys. Yeah. But they haven't been great since the '90s. Yeah. He's been living on a prayer ever since.

And being a fan is like, it's hard.

It's hard. Yeah. But like, if the Cowboys were to win now, it's even greater than like if the Chiefs win or the Patriots win.

Yeah.

Because they always win.

Yeah. Yeah, exactly. And it's just, it's just a great time to be a Knicks fan. I'm having a ball.

I'm so glad. And the Kylie element, she didn't post a candle.

She posted a caviar last night. So I was trying to think like how we can make that about us.

What's unfortunate Question is that she posted a candle yesterday, like the day before our episode. Oh, do you think actually she's reading our minds? Is she a mentalist?

No, what I was thinking is like, you know, she always likes to do it in sort of obscure ways.

I think she's a mentalist.

I think what she was saying is like, caviar is fire, right?

I'm giving her more space because she has two children, a thriving business, a relationship, a big family. She might not listen to the episodes as they drop.

Of course, of course, we'll give her through the weekend.

Through the weekend.

Yeah, I would say she probably catches up on Saturdays.

You think?

No, I don't know. I wonder when.

But I'm just saying, like, I, you know, she's very busy and I know she listens to a lot of podcasts, so maybe we just got lost in the shuffle. Maybe, maybe, maybe she's not a Thursday listener. I do feel like some people tune in on certain days. They need us on certain days, or just like depending on their personal schedule. No, but like definitely Monday morning. Like if you're a toaster, you sat on Monday morning as we—

I think some people do like hybrid So they're in the office some days and not the others, and they certainly aren't listening when they're not in the office. And I get it. It's fine. I'm not mad.

Right, right.

I'm not just, I'm not hurt. I'm just disappointed.

Yeah. So maybe she's not a Thursday listener. All right. We'll give her a few days, but if she's listening on a Friday, but also Kylie is fire. Just know Kylie, we had this whole big bit about you yesterday. You should listen to it.

You would love it.

You would love it. But the gist is that like, if you are hearing this, please post to your Instagram a sign with like a candle or a flame, flame, a bonfire, a fireplace, a stove. Yeah.

Something.

And I know we make you do this all the time and you always do it, and like, why don't we begrudgingly understand that you're— no, no, it's like when that, um, that story, that of like, God, you're stranded on the island, he sends you a boat. I know you're like, I know God will save me. A boat comes, you're like, no, I know God will save me.

A life vest comes, I know God will save me.

A helicopter, I know God will save me. And then the guy winds up dying on the island, and then he goes to heaven, he's like, God, why didn't you save me? He's like, what do you mean? I sent a boat, a life vest, a helicopter. And that's literally Kylie.

She posted, I sent my nails, I sent the trees, I sent the sky. Every time we've ask her for something, she's gonna stop. She's gonna be ungrateful. Wench. This is the last one, we promise. Just like, it's kind of— it's so hard to believe.

Unbelievable.

So we do need multiple signs from Lord and Savior Kylie Jenner. I don't think that's asking too much.

I agree.

I was stalking your stories until then. Supportive wifey though. She was obviously not in New York. He went with a friend, but she was watching back home. That's so supportive partner.

So cute.

We're kind of like— we're kind of living parallel lives, Kylie and I, don't you find?

Yeah. Because of the Knicks.

Yeah, and just like being, you know, like smoke shows and things like that. Mothers, businesswomen, billionaires, bombshells.

Bombshells.

Yeah, I relate to her. I bet that's why she likes the show too, because like one of the hosts is like kind of living a parallel life to her. Don't you find?

Yeah, but also like I had my pregnancy the same as her, so maybe that's when she got into it.

Lots of parallel lives.

It's always nice when like your fave is pregnant with you. Yeah, so I'm happy I could do that for her.

Absolutely.

Anytime, Kylie. Let me know when the next one's going down and we'll get to work with those test strips. Yeah, tell me, tell me your plans, Kylie.

So what are the stories?

They're horrible.

Really?

They're actually horrible. Like, I don't even know what's in there.

Okay, so we won't get—

like, absolutely nothing has happened since we did the test yesterday.

We literally did it yesterday. Yeah, it's shocking that there aren't more days where there's nothing to talk about.

Yeah, like, I will talk, of course, but like there's no breaking news, there's no lead story, it's just a bunch of like hogwash.

Well, I can tell you what I saw in my morning scroll this morning. I watched Keke Palmer's TED Talk. Okay. Yeah, it was very deep.

What is she TED talking about?

You know, she really pulled her family out of poverty, like deep poverty, and obviously that created just like a— it was good, but you know, she was like a kid with all this responsibility on her shoulders. It was a really good TED Talk. I only saw like the first like 5 or 10 minutes, but I liked it. I just love Keke Palmer. She was also on Watch What Happens Live last night.

Yeah, what is she promoting? Like you, what is she promoting? She's like you, she's in that new Peacock show, right?

She works The Burbs. Yeah, but I think another one also.

No, she works, but like, what is that she actively promoting?

Yeah, I don't know. I just love Keke Palmer. A new crime comedy.

Okay.

I just love Keke Palmer. I believe is the first and only dream guest to make it off the list. Right, it's a great question. I know we have Mindy Kaling on there.

Feels like a good day to bring out the lists. When in doubt, when in doubt, hit up the list. Okay, dream guests.

I know we have Mindy Kaling on there, obviously, like Taylor and Kim. Kylie.

Yeah, like at this point the list is just Kylie. The list is so fucking good. Let me see, is it Keke Palmer? And she's the only one with a check next to her.

I'm cracking up. Kelly Clarkson, is she on there?

Yep. Okay, Mindy Kaling.

Mindy Kaling. How many people are there? I'm gonna try and guess them.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13.

Okay, so Keke Palmer.

So varied.

Yeah, Keke Palmer, Kelly Clarkson, Mindy Kaling.

Yeah.

Kim?

No, Kim and Kylie are not even on here because they're obvious.

Taylor?

No.

Okay, so it's not obvious.

It's not obvious.

Um, Pippa?

Yes.

Um, How are there 13? I'm only at 4 and I'm like screaming.

You're at 2. No, you're at the 4. You're at 4.

I'm at 4. Um, I know RuPaul was on there at one point. 5. Um, um, I like—

it's really deep. Oh, like they're deep cuts? Some of them. Some of them.

Tarek?

No.

Okay, tell me.

Keke Palmer, RuPaul, Kelly Clarkson, Mindy Kaling. So you guess the first 4, I guess, like those most obvious. Those are the most like the longest standing. Guy Fieri.

Absolutely.

Elon Musk. Okay. John Corbett. Okay. Jack Black.

Absolutely.

Kenny Ortega.

Stand by it.

Pitbull.

Stand by it.

Molly Mae.

That's like a U1. Yeah, I could do it by myself. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, no, I'll be there. I'm just saying it's not my dream guest.

No, but like normalized one-on-ones. Well, Keke Palmer was like my dream guest, and you were there.

Barely. I was honestly like, that's fine, fine. Someone can take the lead. Also, it's a lot of cooks in the kitchen. Okay, fine, fine, fine. Jim Carrey. We should have Jim Carrey on the toast.

Yeah.

And Susan Boyle.

That might be a you one also.

I'll take the lead.

I'll take like Mindy Kaling and RuPaul, and you could take Molly Mae and Susan Boyle. No, I would want to hear Elon. I would just like want to meet like one of the, you know, geniuses of our time.

Yeah, that's interesting.

Actually, I'm sorry, I have met Elon. I don't talk about that enough.

At a party, right?

At a party, like way before he was Elon. He was just like the guy going to space. He was like very elusive. He wasn't involved in X or anything. Like he was just like this genius.

Yeah, like prodigy. Yeah, Elon Musk.

And I was at a party and somebody like, like literally introduced me to him and I was like, why am I being introduced? And he was like, I love your blog. And I was like, what? So like he's up because he's like internetting.

You really should come on the show.

He's always posting about the good guys. Have you seen that? There's like a clip of Mr. Beast on the Good Guys podcast that had gone viral in some sort of like circle that I'm not familiar with. It was about Starlink. Oh yeah, right. And so Elon, the clip then made its rounds on Twitter and it's just like sort of a, one of those OG clips that yeah, is in the internet hall of fame. And whenever it like serves Elon, he like posts it. He's posted it like 3 times. It's insane to see Ben's face on Elon's Twitter.

It's insane. He would be actually a great guest for the Good Guys.

Yes.

Maybe that, maybe that could happen, but like I would, I would like be so interested to have that conversation. And then we could have Maye Musk on Mother.

We could have her on Mother. Um, the crazy—

also apparently I just need to shout out Shanil Jones, who's the new co-host of GMA with Jenna. She wrote a book, uh, like with this concept. It's like Conversations with Great Mothers.

Oh really?

Yeah.

I had also heard that there was a podcast, I wanna say with Steph Curry's mom hosting. Oh, where she interviews other mothers of like famous—

of greats. Yeah.

So it's not like a completely original idea.

No, no, but I'm just like, there is a book and it sounds amazing. And I also just wanted to shout her out because I've been seeing clips of her. I know, doing her new hosting.

And you see her dancing with Zara Larsson.

Oh my God, they picked the right one.

It's true.

Loved that clip of her.

Me too. She's a good dancer.

I watched it so many times.

I mean, I can't believe you saw that. That's so funny because Zara's like so TikTok.

No, no, that's like because it reached the Reels people because of Shanil, because she's so Reels.

Yeah, I was not familiar with her, her story or her work prior, and obviously I was like rooting for Justin Sylvester, so I was like, okay, this sucks, but happy to have been wrong. Like She's the exact type of like warm maternal. She's like a very deep story with her husband, um, but celebrities love her. She was pushing back on someone the other day, like giving them attitude, which I liked because like they needed it. I forget who it was. I have to say, everything I've seen, tens across the board.

Yeah, I meant to bring up that Zara Larsson moment because I thought it was so precious.

I know that that's a thing that Zara Larsson does at all of her concerts where she brings up someone to do the dance. It's just one part of the choreography and she brings up somebody, whether it's usually like a young girl. Like, it's really cute. It's like the 22 hat with Taylor Swift, and it's this fun part. It's actually been like huge for her because now everybody tunes into the concerts, be like, who got brought up for the Midnight Sun? And so that's like the viral part of the show that Chanel did.

I loved it. Yeah, I loved it. And she wrote the book that I want to read, so—

yeah, right.

And the podcast that I want to make, right? Maybe she'll produce it with me. Yeah, Mother, presented by Mother Denim.

Oh, that's good.

My favorite jeans brand.

I saw a picture of, um, Ballerina Farm and Martha Stewart yesterday. They were at this like agricultural dinner, like for people in the agricultural space. And, um, Ballerina shared a lot. It was actually a really beautiful affair. And her and Martha met, which I thought was like a really important meeting.

Yeah, that is, because as much as like everyone wants to be like the modern Martha Stewart, like Ballerina is.

Absolutely.

Yeah, I get like, we haven't actually crowned the next Martha Stewart. Everyone's always like, ingenue, every young person with like, you know, a flair for cooking and seeing as I got a Martha Stewart trapped in this body.

But if we had to crown the official next-gen Martha Stewart, I do think it would be Ballerina Farm.

Yeah, yeah. I guess it was maybe like Joanna Gaines first, but now she's boomer. She's boomer. Now she's her own. Like, who's the next Joanna Gaines, right?

She's boomer Martha, even though she only like later in life got into homemaking and cooking. It was always like homemaking.

Yeah, but same with Martha. Like, it was hosting, entertaining. It was, it was 360.

Yeah, but it was most food. And Joanna's like passion project is food, but like she's known for like design building. Yeah.

Yeah. Okay.

Well, I'm glad we finally settled the question. Who's the next generation?

I actually feel like it's not completely settled yet, but I think she's our front runner.

Yes. It's still up for grabs. So girls, get to work.

Yeah.

Get back in those kitchens.

Get in the kitchen. Yeah. Make me a sandwich. Ah, let's get into stories.

Yeah.

If we must, that way we can like get to the fun stuff.

Yep.

Without further ado, do do do do do, here are the fast 5 stories that you do need to know.

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You're welcome.

Our first story: Prince William is teasing an appearance at Taylor and Travis's wedding. So Prince William, the Prince of Wales, appeared on a UK radio show alongside hosts who started asking him about the upcoming nuptials. One of them said, we believe there is a big wedding happening this summer. Then the other one chimed in, oh yes, have got an invite? And he said, no comment. I'm hoping, and I'm sure there might be an invitation around, but we'll see.

I mean, imagine Taylor was planning on not inviting him and he's over here being like, I'm sure there's one coming. Meanwhile, we heard they already went out, first of all. Second of all, it's funny how like Prince William isn't immune from— like, every celebrity goes, and whether they have a connection to Taylor, they're always asked about Taylor. It's like a way for them to like blow up their interview. And it's funny that even Prince William is not immune from that. And I like that he leaned in. Um, I feel like he's not invited. Like, don't you think he would know? Unless he's just like playing dumb.

No, but also I don't think he would say that if he's not invited. Mm-hmm. So I feel like maybe he is invited. Maybe they, like, he got like the save the date or like the invitation, the phone call, forthcoming memo or the phone call. The only reason why I think they wouldn't be invited, not to like leave them out, everyone's vibe. No, it's like the security concerns. Yeah. Like they already have so many concerns, but I guess like at that level it's probably the most secure place on earth that day. Right, right. Why can't William and Kate go? Um, also I would love for them to go.

Did you see that Maren Morris was asked if she was invited? She was on this like radio show.

Yeah.

And like her answer made me sad. She was like, not only was I not invited, I got like a spam text invitation. Someone being like, hey, you're in, like a paperless post type of thing.

But how did she know it was spam?

Um, she didn't say, but she was like, it was a really weird number. And like, it was.

But from the way that it sounds like they're going about inviting people, like a spam text sounds sort of right.

It does, except I don't think that a text like I don't think they would do a text. Yeah, like a phone call, they said, and that makes a lot more sense, perhaps. And obviously William and Kate are on the list of people Taylor actually called, not a staff member.

No, of course not. I think they all had a great time at Eras London.

They are a really important figure in like the Taylor and Travis timeline. I mean, Taylor and Travis's hard launch on Instagram was with Prince William. Yeah, like it's an important— that would be really cool.

That would be— I would love to see it.

And that would sort of like solidify that this is the closest thing we will have probably ever in America to a royal wedding.

Yeah. Meanwhile, I saw that Harry and Meghan are celebrating their 8-year wedding anniversary.

Oh, I saw that too with her Instagram.

Yeah, she posted like a bunch of pictures and it's just like, I'm sure that that was literally the most amazing day of their lives.

Mm-hmm.

You know, why do you think that? Like they were on top of the world.

Oh, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

They were on top of the world. They were so in love. Mm-hmm. They got married like relatively quickly. So like, you know, I don't think any of that had like worn off.

Yeah.

I think they were just like so happy. They had a beautiful wedding. They, they chose each other, they chose love, and things hadn't like soured yet.

Yeah.

And they were still royals and the world like loved them and everyone was just like obsessed with their marriage and they loved each other. And I just don't know like that all of those things are still true, especially in terms of like the world.

Well, of course, no, the world has changed, sweetie.

Like, like, but also, you know, like marriage is hard. Like, of course. And it was just like crazy to see wedding pictures, especially because we never got that much intimate stuff from them. Like every picture they're like kissing and dancing. But now she's like bleeding out on Instagram. They can't stop like each other and it's just like, this used to be private information. Yeah, no, I just like, I just imagined that was like the best day ever.

Yeah. Um, one of my favorite things about Meghan Markle's Instagram, and now that I pointed it out I hope you all notice, is whenever she posts a picture of Harry, uh, yeah, is that his name, Harry, from the back, um, she's always like face tuning his bald spot and it's just like really obvious. It's very boomer of her.

Like even 8, from 8 years ago?

No, no, no, but I'm just saying like you have to go look.

Didn't he get his hair done?

No, I don't think so. I think we thought he did cuz he was wearing all those hats. Hats. Turns out he just liked hats. Um, you know, bigger and better than ever.

You're like seriously obsessed with men and their balding.

I feel like it's my way genuinely of like fighting against the patriarchy, because like all we do is sit around like, she's old, she's saggy, she's fat, she's skinny, and it's like, well, you're bald. It's like the only thing we can really say to men to hurt them, because like they are— men are obsessed with their hair. Yeah, it's like the one thing that they need in order to remain like cool with society, and it's like, well You don't have any, Harry. You don't have any.

Well, I didn't notice that.

Oh, well, I did. Um, and Adam Levine has a new face.

Yes, as does Jim Carrey. And John Travolta has a new look. Ryan Lochte.

Did you hear about John Travolta's new look in Cannes?

But John Travolta like always is switching it up.

Yeah, that's my queen right there, actually. Like, he, um, and it's not even so much people are not talking about his face, he just like got a new hat.

Okay.

And it's, you know, when a hat like changes your whole look and your whole vibe and your whole personality. Look up John Travolta Cannes. He's looking nice. But one thing about me, I love John Travolta and I will never— I know he's problematic because of Scientology and I think he had some like weird thing with the masseuse. But the thing is like, and I like, I do believe that like Kelly Preston was the great love of his life. I do. No matter like how that does or doesn't make sense, you know?

All right. And did she pass?

Yeah. And, and so did their son.

Yeah. Their son. Remember their son?

Like seriously, I love John Travolta.

And oh, and he's Edna Turnblad. Hello, I like this hat. I like this.

Let me see, let me see.

I like it.

He looks amazing.

I like it. It's dignified. It's dignified.

Normalize changing up your look.

Normalize looking dignified. I completely agree. But it's crazy that you can blindly love John Travolta.

Mm-hmm.

And blindly hate Tom Cruise.

Exactly.

Even though that—

you wanna know why I'm so glad you brought that up?

Even though the thing that, even though the thing that you are staying blind to is the exact same thing.

So I believe like in my soul that Tom Cruise Tom Cruise is an evil person. Like, I don't have proof, just vibes. Like, extremely dark, sinister energy. I know— I don't need proof. I know that John Travolta, like, is the nicest man alive, okay? And I think he's had a hard life. I do. Like, I have sympathy for him. I see the human in John. I see a robot inside Tom Cruise. There's something really fucking spooky about him, okay? But no, good. Thanks for— like, I was like, like, I'm glad you were trying to like hold me accountable, but I feel like I gave a good response.

Yeah, no, but also because they are the same. But like, normalize just like hating people for being a hypocrite. Like, why does everything have to be Congress all the time?

Fucking love that. That's— people are always coming at me, believe me. You said that about— well, I did.

I said that about that, and I said about that, and that's just how Sue sees it.

Correct.

That's just how Koji sees it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So over that. I completely agree.

Like, stop holding me accountable, for real. Yeah.

Our next story, Summer House. Amanda and Wes mark a major relationship milestone.

They're getting serious. They fucking better be.

So the controversial romance between Summer House stars Wes Wilson and Amanda Bachelorette are getting more serious. An insider told Us Weekly that Wes took Amanda to meet his parents in May.

Means nothing to him. He took Sierra and then broke up with her the next day.

Yeah, they were talking about this on Watch What Happens Live with Lindsay and Kyle because it came up that she took him to meet his parents.

He took her.

Yeah, yeah, he took her to meet his parents, which they were saying. And it's funny because like Kyle, as mad as he is, he's like still trying like give grace. And he was like, for Wes, like, he loves people to meet his parents and his family because it gives like a, an understanding of who he is and why he is and how he is. Because when you meet anyone's family, you see them in context and like things start to make sense. So like, I think he— that Kyle was saying, like, Wes loves introducing people to his family. It's not even about like a serious thing, it's more about like a understanding Wes thing.

Yeah. I also think Kyle like shockingly hasn't joined the bandwagon against Amanda because he just like did love her for so long. And that was like what I saw on that first couple couple of minutes on In the City. Like, it was actually— made Kyle look really good. Like, he just sort of refuses to hate her, and that's sweet.

Yeah. And he still loves her, I think. Like I said, I think he would take her back. I think he would too, which is crazy because they had the most miserable life together.

Well, it's like trauma bonding.

You think so?

It's like how when you, um, like are kidnapped and then you get free, like you kind of miss your kidnapper.

I don't think that's what it is for him. I don't think that she's his kidnapper.

No, no, but it's like you miss the thing.

Yeah. You know, I don't know. You would've thought like he'd be happy to be free, go meet a girl who likes to go out and is bubbly and energetic.

What if you just didn't meet a girl? Like you clearly like being single.

Oh, that's true.

Like just, why didn't you just go be single?

No, but what if I think he would wanna do all of these things with a girl by his side at the same level of energy that he has.

Well, he needs to date like a 19-year-old.

'Cause it's not like he like goes out and flirts. He's not like flirty.

No.

Right. Right. He's not like touchy. Like that's sexy. Jesse and Wes. Like, I can't stop touching everyone.

Yeah.

Yeah, he just wants to have fun. I think he would love to have fun with someone by his side.

Summer should be fun.

Yeah.

Lindsay. Lindsay. But it's like my brother.

Yeah, I mean, it is like her brother. Yeah.

Um, just quickly back to him taking her home to like meet her family. I feel like, much like Sierra, like Amanda's probably like really caught up in this. Like, he took me home to meet his family. Um, and I don't really know, I guess she like, she can't think too hard about him, because like she'll start to hate him. Like even what he did to her, what we think at the reunion, like not defending her, hanging her out to dry. But like, that must be— they are cellmates. Yeah, they can't think too hard about each other because like she'll come to the conclusion like he's awful. Well, hopefully she will. Um, and he'll come to the conclusion that he just doesn't like her. And the reunion trailers, everyone's alluding to like him having had a girlfriend while starting to see Amanda. Is that the girl with the horsehair tie? Perhaps.

Okay, to me that doesn't mean anything. I don't know horsehair girl. Me neither. I'm not gonna take up for and maybe he did have a girlfriend and then like fell in love with Amanda. That, that could happen. That's like normal betrayal, you know? Right. It's like a normal degree of operating, operating poorly in a relationship.

Yeah.

Not the best friend on both ends, the marriage, the co-working cast, brother-sister.

Yeah.

You know what I mean? So I actually don't give a shit if he was seeing someone. If anything, it makes it like, first of all, he was committed, so is he entering like a phase of commitment?

Right.

And second, it makes it like that their relationship is stronger that like he was— had to leave this girl to be with Amanda. Yeah, not just like she was only the, the only port in a storm, right?

Real Housewives of Rhode Island reunion seating chart came out. I saw, it was interesting.

We have Liz and Alicia next to Andy, right, on either respective couches. Yes. Then next to Liz we have Joellen and Rula, and then next to Alicia we have Rula, then next to Joellen we have Kelsey, next to Rula is Rosie, Rosie, and then after Rosie is Ashley.

Yes. Like 7's a tough number.

Yeah, no, next to Kelsey is Ashley, right?

Next to Rosie, that's her friend.

Oh, on the other side?

Yeah.

Oh, okay, so it's Liz, Joellen, and Kelsey.

Mhm.

Dream team.

Wow, I disagree.

We team Alicia.

Actually, I don't think there is a dream team to be had on either of these couches, cuz like I'm certainly not on—

I like Joellen.

I like Joellen too. I don't— I still don't like Kelsey, and I'm not like dying for Liz.

I'm not dying for Liz, but she's smart, sharpshooter. I wouldn't want to be on her bad side.

I will say the thing about Rhode Island is that I don't think I really like any of them at all.

Yeah, like even though Rhode Island dominated my week, like I couldn't find one of them to be my queenie. Like, ordinarily, like, not a queenie amongst them.

No, no, no, no, no, no. Um, yeah. And are we ever going to find out what happened with Wes's grandma? Maybe she— Amanda went home to like talk about that. That's really crazy. His cousin's in jail for manslaughter. Like, can we—

his grandma's dead.

Step-grandma. But still, of course.

No, but I think she's grandfather's girlfriend. The grandma who raised him.

No, no, grandfather's girlfriend.

Long-term girlfriend, long-term—

define long-term, 10 years?

Like, long-term granny, whatever.

All's that to say, are we gonna like get a follow-up or anything?

I'm sure.

Yeah, we better.

Also, people were saying that the reason they were all crying leaving the house is because In the City was starting, and they figured that probably Kyle, Amanda, Lindsay wouldn't be back on Summer House, that there would be a changing of the guards, and that the house is for sale.

I believe Bravo's contract with the house is up. The house is for sale, and I saw that the house is for Um, I wonder why the person selling it is selling it. I imagine it's a big moneymaker for them, because when you have a house in the Hamptons, renting it out for the summer, not on to a TV show, is a huge moneymaker. But I'm sure Bravo pays a premium. They beat the shit out of that house, and they have to install all these cameras. I heard the garage is like a war room.

Yeah, but even maybe they fell on hard financial— yeah, like they're selling it for $5-6 million. Maybe they need that money. That's different than a couple hundred thousand.

Buy the summer house, house, like honestly.

Well, like the more you look at the inside of the house on the show like the uglier it is.

Yeah, no, but the property, it's on Deerfield, it's on like a really major road in, in, uh, like technically Watermill, and it's a huge house with an amazing backyard. So it's a good investment, but you're like a cultural spectacle. People drive by all the time. Every time I've ever driven by, there's like cars outside.

Oh really?

Yeah. So like, who wants that?

Maybe it's like the cast and crew.

No, when they're not filming. I was just in the Hamptons, like, oh, and there was people outside. People drive by and they slow down, and like everyone on that road is slow.

Like, yeah, well, that's good safe driving.

Yeah, of course, of course. But like, I can't imagine somebody who's like willing to shell out $6 million is going to buy that one.

Like, I don't—

I don't know, unless you're a big Bravo fan and you can say like, I bought the Bravo house.

And else you can like change it, and it needs to be—

it's old.

It needs a remodeling. Yeah, there's so many like weird interior choices.

The first floor primary bedroom that has like also a living room inside of it that they never filmed in.

Yeah, cuz they don't have the camera set up there, I guess, right? Yeah, the prim— actually, that room's like kind of nice.

Yeah, it's a weird house. It is, but it's a good house. It's old.

Yeah, it needs—

I wonder where they're gonna film next season.

And the door, the front door is broken. They should fix that.

The funny thing is that the last couple of seasons have been filmed there, but up until then they were always bopping around. Yeah, like a season here, two seasons there, until they settled on this house. So where to next?

I mean, it does have a lot of bedrooms.

They're not allowed to film in Montauk, and I don't believe they're allowed to film in East Hampton proper.

We should stay there.

Sure, it's you. I think it's like on also on Airbnb, like for charity.

Oh yeah, I saw that you can like do a watch party there.

I'm good, my watch party is in my bed.

My watch party has ended.

Yeah, right.

Our next story is actually some crazy big news that we've been like not talking about until now, but Britney Spears, um, got a DUI and video came out of her DUI and her sobriety test. Yes. Um, so new footage shows Britney Spears allegedly failing a sobriety test during her DUI arrest on March 4th. In dashcam footage obtained by TMZ, the Grammy winner seen being questioned by police officers before she was placed in handcuffs. She can be heard asking cops if they had her phone, which they claimed was still in her purse. Um, several reporters had— several drivers had reported the singer driving when they saw her allegedly driving erratically and almost sideswiping several vehicles. Um, they called 911 reporting an erratic person driving.

I believe she's since gotten treatment, right? I think I remember reporting that.

Yeah. Oh, I don't even remember reporting this DUI.

I personally don't get on the Britney train.

Yeah.

I never really was a part of the Free Britney train, and I feel like some of the people who freed Britney, like, have some explaining to do because, like, this is crazy. So I don't— I've just been off the Britney roller coaster for a really long time. So, like, I genuinely just wish her the best.

And much like, like, Nick and Vanessa— Nick and Jessica, who wound up at the same place in their lives, like, maybe Justin and Britney, like, could have worked out. They both just want to get DUIs.

They both just want to drink and drive. They have a shared common interest. That's the baseline for any good relationship. Friendship. Yeah, I love that.

It's like funny, like you just like, you, you do so much and 20 years have passed, but it's like you ended up in the same— right where you started, in the same place.

And like, what's up with Jessica Biel? Like, she's so weird to me.

Yogurt in the shower.

Oranges.

She eats oranges in the shower. No, and yogurt.

Oh, okay.

And she tells us about it.

Yeah, like she reminds me a little bit like Blake Lively. Mhm. Um, I wonder, like, do you think she, like, loves or hates her husband? It's one or the other.

I think it's a love-hate.

Yeah, right, right.

You know what I mean?

Yeah. I just— I find her so bizarre. I also feel like her career, like, totally stopped.

Yeah.

When she got married, and then she just recently was in that show that everyone loved, The Good Sister, something.

And also—

and also she has, like, a show, maybe not The Good Sister. The better sister.

And wasn't she in a show? Remember we watched that show Love and Death?

Was she in that?

No, no. But like, I think they made another version of the same story and she was in that one.

Yes, a Hulu one. Okay, spookier one. Yeah.

Um, she's so weird to me, but like, I do feel like marrying Justin Timberlake, they became like such a power—

like a Ryan and Blake type—

versus like if she just stayed being like a singleton actress, like it would wouldn't be the same.

No, but then he obviously like did the whole New Orleans holding the hand of his co-star thing, and then of course the tour.

Well, she's committed.

I like that. I like the role of a lifetime.

I like it too. She's very committed to him, and it— despite all of his indiscretions.

And you guys know, like, I, like, I have forgiven Justin Timberlake because that's good. I haven't forgiven Britney.

No, I mean, she has to put in the work.

No, I feel bad for Britney, but like, I don't know what's right for her. It honestly sounds like she needs a conservatorship.

Yeah. Also, when she was free from her conservatorship, I saw like a very compelling argument that like really swayed my opinion, which was like, listen, she just like wants to dance in her living room. She's not hurting people. Like, she's not a crazy person. Like, she just wants to be weird. Like, let her be weird.

That's no longer the case though.

That she's now going to be hurting people.

Yeah.

So I have to rescind what I said.

She's taking the dancing like out of her home, and that's sort of where we draw the line.

For as long as she stays home. But I guess like staying home like makes her an extremist. Conservatorship. No, it's like house arrest.

She needs a conservatorship. She needs something. I don't know what she needs. And it's like, it's terrible that like all these— she is in this position that she's in like through no choices of her own. Like her life was ruined, but that like— I don't know.

Mhm.

She— there's no one good around her. Mhm. Wishing her the best.

Are you ready for our fourth story?

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What if you drank Turt?

She's, she's not for everyone. She's an acquired taste. If you don't like her, acquire some taste.

Acquire some style.

That too.

Our fourth story.

You know that Acquired Style said that her username is inspired by Ramona?

Is it?

Yeah, I read that somewhere.

I once saw a video of Acquired and Ramona meeting.

You're kidding.

No.

Oh, so yeah, like that's a part of her lore.

But like, but there was nothing about the acquired being discussed. It was more so about like Ramona talking about these two gorgeous blonde twins. It was like, of course, Ramona, like your grandmother explaining a TikTok. No, she was like, these gorgeous girls.

I was literally watching Ramona's Instagram stories this morning. She's painting her apartment.

Ooh, what color?

She's back in the city. She just said like, you're not going to notice a difference, like in pictures and maybe not even in person, just like fresh.

Oh, interesting.

She had moved all of her furniture to the center of the room. She's so fun.

Is she's back in the city?

She's in New York.

Yeah. Oh, interesting.

You know, she snowbirds, like she's in the Hamptons, so she's probably like, she said she was going to a bunch of doctors. She probably has like all of her appointments in the city before she heads out to the Hamptons for the summer.

Oh, how nice. And maybe they stop filming Golden Life. Definitely. Maybe it's, I think they're all like snowbirds. Yeah. I guess that's the point.

Yeah.

Cute.

Yeah.

Our next story, The Odyssey is coming out. We haven't talked about it, but the leading ladies are going elemental on the Elle magazine. They did 4 covers of the 4 leading ladies elemental. They are they're all dressed like the elements: water, fire.

I don't know anything about the Odyssey. Like, I didn't read it.

Homer.

Yeah, the Iliad, the Odyssey. Like, that's the extent of my knowledge.

And the Odyssey is a great journey.

And who are the 4 leading ladies?

They are Anne Hathaway, of course, Zendaya, yeah, Lupita Nyong'o, and Charlize Theron.

Oh wow, like, those are the girls?

Yes. So they each posed for 4 separate Elle magazine covers that represent the elements: water and— let So this is Anne Hathaway for water.

Okay, she looks thirsty.

Then we have Zendaya being earth.

Earth, yeah, very good. She looks hot.

Yeah, yeah. Then we have Lupita being fire.

That's beautiful cover.

That is beautiful. And then we have Charlize being air.

That's— I saw Charlize, um, like say that thing about Timothée in The Ballerina. It's like, I find her annoying. I never had like a feeling about her. Now my feelings are negative. Yeah, and I'm just protective of my, my best friend's boyfriend, you know?

100%.

Someone whom I like have parallel lives with.

That's why. And it's not like she like wades into conversation often.

No.

So like, don't.

Yeah. And it's like when celebrities pile on other celebrities with like cancel culture, I just think it's so dumb cuz like you're always next. Mhm. So no one's going to feel bad for you when like when you were like joining the fun when it was Timothée's turn, but like, oh, somebody didn't like something you said while promoting The Odyssey. Like, no.

And also, it's like sometimes, you know, the silence is deafening, but nobody was waiting to hear what Charlize thought.

She's not a former ballerina.

Not about what Timothée said.

It has nothing to do with her. Now, she can't help if maybe someone asked her in an interview.

Probably couldn't escape the question.

She has every right to have an opinion.

And she probably couldn't escape the questions, everybody asking her, what does the, the number one ballerina think about what he said about ballet? Yeah, Charlize.

I just hate when celebrities like perpetuate a culture that like ultimately ends up hurting them. Like, how stupid are for you.

Yeah, I was really thinking yesterday, like, you really need to watch The Italian Job.

Why? Which movies?

You just like would love it.

Oh, okay.

My content is like— seriously, no, but like, I know you guys love watching movies, and like, with the weekends coming up, we have to watch Remarkably Rare Creatures.

But yeah, all right, let me—

I— you need to watch The Italian Job.

Okay, I actually need to write down my full contemplate list. So I need to read Bell Burden, which I'm doing, by the way.

Bell Burden— Strangers by Bell Burton. We call it Coppers because of something Claudia said, but like, there's not a sequel to Strangers. It's just Strange.

No, a friend of mine texts me who listens to the show. She's like, is there a Paul Burton sequel? No, sorry, my bad.

Coppers is Strange.

My books are Lena Dunham and Hayden Panettiere, right?

Yes, but you need to watch a movie after, like, Remarkable—

no, I'm ready to just write Remarkably Bright Creatures and The Italian Job. Who's in it?

Mark Wahlberg. You're right, Charlize Theron.

Okay, I'll watch it. It's on my list.

I think I— Jason Statham. I think Donald Sutherland. And when you know he— when he's in something, you know it's quality.

Dumbledore.

President Snow.

Yeah, yeah. Heifer Sutherland's dad.

Yeah, and he passed, so to honor him, posthumously, you really should watch it because it's like Kingsman, like it's that sort of, you know.

I've been chasing the high of Kingsman like ever since I saw that film.

I think that like Kingsman was chasing the high of Italian Job.

Okay, you know what, I'll do my best to watch it this weekend. I have so much to do. I have to watch Kylie's— in the comments, do you think Claudia is going to like Italian Job?

She loves Kingsman.

I probably will.

Yeah.

Um, those are the fast food stories, and I agree that they were atrocious, but I feel like we made the best of them.

There's still one more.

You're kidding.

There's still one more.

It's not about the journey, it's about the destination.

It's about the Odyssey.

Was that the fourth story?

No, no, it's, it's not about the journey.

Oh right, it's about the Odyssey.

Yeah, the Odyssey is the journey.

What's the fifth?

Um, Hooters is rebranding.

Uh, this is something I would not have talked about.

As a family-friendly, uh, restaurant. As the CEO says, we've never switched from being a neighbor neighborhood place, but now they are rebranding to be a family-friendly destination.

When I read about the rebrand, it sounds like they're really trying to be like an Applebee's. Applebee's, like, is your local—

they sort of like are Applebee's, like, with titties. Yeah.

And so I don't know, I've never been to a Hooters. One, 'cause I don't like wings, and that's, I think, their specialty.

Mm-hmm.

And two, 'cause it always felt like walking into a strip club.

Like, it's, it's not actually, and it's not even titties. It's like just the uniform, iconic uniform.

Yeah, but it became like a place for disgusting men to go to like stare at women.

But it's really not a strip club.

So are they gonna get rid of the uniforms? It's like crazy because while I think they have to in order to become a family-friendly place, it's like the one most iconic thing about them. So you're going to change it, but maybe like titties don't sell the bills, pay the bills.

Yeah, I mean, these days, I mean, boobs are back. I'm sorry, they said maybe they're gonna show butt crack.

They said that like they unintentionally became like this sort of like sexy place. It was always meant to be, but I'm sorry, with the logo like literally being boobs Hooters, like the two Os, I guess.

But it's also the owl's eyes. Like, you could say it's the owl's eyes.

And what would an owl have to do with Hooters?

Hoo hoo!

What does it have to do with wings?

What does Applebee's have to do with wings?

Applebee's is like— I feel, I feel that Hooters is like trying to come for Applebee's next, because like, if you've ever been inside an Applebee's, you know that it like takes on the neighborhood that it's in. Like, it's a very local spot. Like, it's a very— like, people love it. I love— I fucking love Applebee's.

Yeah.

Um, and I feel like I'm always welcoming more types of places like this, like a Cheesecake Factory, a BJ's Brew House. Like, I love restaurants like this. So great. Like, I welcome, but it's, it's a high bar.

Yeah. The CEO says updated uniforms and menu improvements are intended to build, rebuild trust.

Yeah. Menu improvements.

Yeah. Always good to like refresh your menu.

I'll come check it out. I, I'll definitely come. Patreon. Patreon.

Let's go to the new and improved Hooters.

Yeah. Let us know when they've rolled out.

I do feel like Hooters is very Florida. Why do I feel that way? Yeah.

I feel like there's just one on every corner. They must either be like founded here or they have like their most locations here.

Yeah. Or they just thrive here.

Yeah. I mean, it's so Florida.

It is.

It is. Especially cuz like with those tiny little uniforms, you can't be living in like Alaska working at Hooters. No, not the Alaska.

It's not like year round.

No.

Established. It's just like seasonal.

Absolutely.

Yeah.

But they're gonna update Alaskan summers.

They need to find a way to update the uniform while still like maintaining the iconic nature of it.

Agreed.

I don't know how they'll do that, but I mean, Good luck.

They definitely should partner with Brittany Cartwright. She's, I feel like, the most famous Hooters girl.

That's the old— yeah, I know, I know, that's the old Hooters.

Let's dive into Queenie and Weenie of the Week. I'm really excited. Our final segment of the week where Jackie and I just like to take a look at the week, you know, at a glance, sum it up, put a nice little bow on it. We give out two awards, Queenie of the Week and Weenie of the Week. They're pretty self-explanatory. I don't feel like I have to explain to you guys, um, you're not dumb.

And I hope, like, you watch— I hope you watch often enough that you, that you know this segment.

Now I'm very curious to see if Jackie is going to continue her streak of like 4 weeks in a row not giving like a Queenie or a Weenie.

No, I, I picked, but I do want Honorary mention for Queenie to Spencer Pratt again. Oh my God, I just love—

you can't give the same fucking—

no, I have a separate Queenie, but like, let me just tell you, I don't even think that this Queenie is more Queenie than Spencer Pratt right now.

I saw an interview this morning where Spencer Pratt was asked like, who is like a modern— no, who's a politician that like you look up to? And he said Jesus Christ. And the guy was like so annoyed. He was like, no, really, like which modern politician? And Spencer was like, I don't look at a singular modern politician and like want to be like them.

For sure. And also like, that question is a trap.

Absolutely.

And they do try and trap him a lot. Yeah.

And he will not say whether he's a Republican or Democrat. He said I'm an I'm an Angelino. And it's a nonpartisan race. Like you don't run as a Republican or a Democrat. So he's like, he's not using it to—

No, you do run as a Democrat.

No, you don't. There's no symbols on the ballot. Like you don't run as a political party. A lot of mayoral, the mayor of Miami is a nonpartisan race.

I didn't know that.

Yeah. So he's like, they keep trying to make me partisan and binary. And he says, I'm not doing it.

While also saying like, you know, we, we should not be divided.

Right. But he, it's a nonpartisan race.

Okay. Well, He is still my honorary queenie, but that's not my queenie of this week. That's not my queenie of this week. My queenie of this week is someone who had a fantastic week and it seems like a fantastic year and stayed congruous with all of his beliefs and everything he said that he was. And that's Jaylen Brown from Love Island.

Oh, I agree. It's nice when people tell you who they are and they're not lying.

Yeah. And I just am so—

I thought you were gonna say Jaylen Brunson.

I'm like, I'm so thrilled for him that he found love even though it was not with Arlandria. Yeah.

And honestly, him finding love with someone who's not Elantra, like, almost makes Elantra eligible for weenie of the week. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That she, like, let him go. Discarded him.

Discarded.

Discarded. Like, absolutely a real man.

Yeah.

Who wanted the things he said he wanted. Absolutely. And the things that I think she wants.

Absolutely. And, like, they're both Southern. Like, it makes me sick. Now, my weenie of the week, um, is just a little woman named Mariska Hargitay. I don't know if you know about her. So Mariska Hargitay is obviously a huge Knicks fan, and she always goes to like courtside games. But Jalen Brunson, who's like the number one player on the Knicks, like he rebuilt this franchise. Ben was telling me that he actually took like a little bit of a salary cut so they could like get more good players. Like he's a real king. He's obsessed with Mariska Hargitay. And like all these celebrities come to the game— Kylie, Timothée— and the only one he cares about is Mariska. And so she's been doing press, she's like promoting something, and he's been doing press like talking about— and all he talks about is Mariska. And I just saw a video, she was at the game last night where like they crushed. I feel like like, you know, like how Samson, when he cuts his hair, like he loses all of his power.

Mm-hmm.

Mariska is like the most important figure in Jalen Brunson's life aside from like his wife and child. And I love their friendship. They had like the biggest hug. He like runs to her at the end of the game. So when he wins, it's like actually really sweet. And I love her and she's my queen for that. And like, you know, there's a lot riding on her. I feel like New York relies on Mariska a lot. Mm-hmm.

To solve crimes.

Ordinarily to solve crimes, of course. But she is sort of like, um, people don't include her in like the Ben Stiller, Timothy, like she's up there. She's the biggest. And Jaylen Brunson has said many times, like, he needs her there, and she comes.

That's very sweet. It's really weirder than Shannon's presence in my party.

Yeah. Wow. Now I'm so excited for my weenie of the week because my weenie of the week goes to somebody who I feel now is never beating the deadbeat allegations. And I believe everything Elsie Hewitt has said because I heard the most vile clip of Pete Davidson doing stand-up talking about becoming a father. And yeah, that's something a deadbeat would say. I'm sorry I ever doubted you, Elsie. Like, Team Elsie, let's start a GoFundMe Elsie. I don't know how recently the clip is from, but it's post-fatherhood, and he talks about how he has a daughter, and he says like, having a daughter makes it really hard to watch porn in front of her, but I do it anyway. People are so fucking disgusting. And I'm sorry, Hollywood's never been the pedophilia allegations. And I just want to say, Pete Davidson, I never liked you, and you're a deadbeat, and you're disgusting. And I never thought you were cute either. And like, if you were a woman, you would seriously be like still doing open mics at the most random comedy club. You're not funny, you're not talented, you're not handsome, and you're not a good dad.

You're literally a deadbeat, and I think disgusting. Yeah, why can't people associated with SNL stop making jokes about pedophilia? Like, not to be like woke, but it's not funny. And like, oh, I was just seeing like Chelsea Handler going off on like a lot of the comedians from the roast of Kevin Hart, like calling them like misogynistic and racist, and she was just sort of being like a weenie about like, you know, don't— girl, don't be in a roast. Like, that's the whole thing. And it's like, we need that energy for the jokes about pedophilia. Stop watching porn in front of your kids. It's disgusting. Acting. Yeah, that's your Toasters guy.

Does anyone else feel like the roast of Kevin Hart was like kind of a flop except to like get all these comedians in trouble with each other?

They're all fighting.

Yeah, like, did anyone actually watch the actual roast? They did, but it was, it was just like sound bites where they all just like pointed out things about one another that we now need to know about.

Yeah, like you went to see and sort of ruined each other. Yeah, for what? Like, uh, one night where like a couple people watch it? It wasn't like Tom Brady roast was huge cultural moment.

This was not huge.

No, it kind like made everyone look bad except for Kevin Hart.

And now they're like all fighting. Yeah.

And like accusing each other of being racist.

And I think they're all, yeah, pedophiles.

Yeah. Agreed.

Also, I saw the Pete Davidson clip too, and he was a, a thought for weenie. And what's crazy is I feel like sometimes people make like inappropriate jokes about kids before they have kids. Yeah. And you don't realize how wrong it is until you have kids. And then you realize like, oh my God, you can never say that. That like, and I feel that way. And this is something that's like people are talking about a lot with like the Baby Alessi stuff.

Oh yeah.

Yeah, like when Alex and Sophia like made those jokes, which were horrible, like so inappropriate. I do think they should apologize. I can't even imagine like what that put like Lauren and Ari through at the time.

Absolutely.

Um, but I can imagine that they were so young, they had no idea how wrong what they were doing was.

Absolutely.

But when you have a child, you then realize like how inappropriate, how precious these things are, like how you— there's not something to joke about whatsoever. So I have even like less respect for Pete Davidson for having a baby and making the joke.

And I do want to say say, like, if you are going to make a joke that's, like, inappropriate about kids, it has to be the best joke ever. And his jokes were bad. That's what I mean. Like, people have lifted up this person who's, like, so average, so mid, because what, he's tall? Like, he's gotten so far. He had his own movie with Judd Apatow that flopped because he's not funny. Like, and so it just ultimately, like, originates from a lack of talent. But, like, I think a good example of, like, a joke that was, like, gross but, like, I did think it was funny is, like, Dave Chappelle's thing about Michael Jackson.

I was thinking the same thing.

I always reference that because it's insane. It's the most out-of-pocket of shit, but it was funny. It's like undeniably funny.

Yeah.

Um, so you just— you, you can laugh at it because it's funny. Pete Davidson's thing like wasn't funny. It's just like, you're disgusting.

Yeah.

So seriously, he's my new number one op, deadbeat Davidson, and I fucking hate him.

Yeah.

Like, why don't you go home, stop watching porn? Maybe you're not a present dad because you can't stop watching porn, right? Ugh, who talks about porn when they have a kid? Like, and also, who watches porn after they're like 22? No.

And like, in the same breath as you became a dad to a daughter. Yeah.

Oh my God, I think he's disgusting. Like, my new number one, like literally above Mark Ruffalo.

Wow. Wow.

Like, so disgusting. And I feel like I'm sorry I ever doubted it. Miss Elsie Hewitt, like, you're right, girl. Like, what can I do for you? You want to come work at The Toast? Like, what do you want? We can give you health insurance. Like, we actually can't, but like, we will.

No. Oh no, Kelsey's ex is paying for her health insurance, right? I was like, is Pete paying for Kelsey's? Elsie, it's a confusing name.

Um, who's your weenie?

My weenie is Harry Styles. Like, we really had a real fumble of a week.

Yeah, I keep seeing more videos.

Like, it's just a fumble of a It's just, it's so ick.

And I feel like there was a time where like he couldn't do anything, he couldn't wear anything that people wouldn't say was like so amazing and cool. And he's just doing all these things now that like I know people back in the day like would have died for. And just low-key, did you see the video of him talking about when he lost his virginity to like a specific song?

What was the song?

I don't know, he was honoring some artists who I'd never heard of, being like, and you know, talking about— he was introducing them to get their award, and he was like, I lost my virginity to— and you know, we all would have died to hear about like Harry reads and it's like yucky. Yeah, I don't know, he's just giving the TMI. Yeah, he's giving the ick.

Keep it to yourself.

Yeah, so that's our weenie. Um, love to see us with— who was your queenie?

Jalen.

Yeah, right. Um, thank you guys so much for listening to the Toast in the Morning Show. We do the fastest stories you need to know every Monday through Friday. New YouTubers watching us on YouTube, please feel free to subscribe, give this video a thumbs up. We're also available as a podcast anywhere podcasts can be found, so Spotify, iTunes, Stitcher, Pocket Radio, iHeartRadio, CastBox, all the places where you listen to podcasts. My name is Josie, fast radio, BOW, stunning and weekly talented we are. Hope you guys have an amazing day, and we will see you tomorrow.

Love ya. Bye.