Transcript of Jaxon Claud Osprey: Tuesday, May 26th, 2026 New

Good morning, girlies, it's The Toast.

It's Jackson, Claude, and we're your hosts.

It's your favorite show, the fast 5 things you need to know. We'll start your day off swirly, it's The Toast.

I sound amazing.

Welcome back to The Toast, and happy Tuesday that feels like a Monday because it was a long weekend.

Yeah, no, it's very exciting that today's Tuesday. It doesn't feel like a Tuesday, but then like when you think about it, it's Tuesday, which means we're closer to Friday.

Sure we—

it also means we're doing some Dear Toasters today, which—

oh my God, I was so not prepared.

That feels wrong.

And major shout out, because a day like today, we have so much to catch up on. I took so many things off my content plate. We might have pushed Dear Toasters to tomorrow, but the DTQ should be really shouting out to our sponsor, Weight Watchers. Today's Dear Toasters is sponsored by Weight Watchers, so we couldn't push it off till Wednesday.

No, we couldn't. We would have.

We would— no, I was like, we would have. So TGQ to the WW—

TY, TY. Well, happy Tuesday after a long Memorial Day weekend. We had such like a fun family-filled weekend. I just want to take a moment to thank our troops, to those who have served.

Amen.

We didn't do it before the weekend, but I saw so many like emotional reels of troops, of course, homecoming videos, that to like travel and soldier by—

thank God for my life. For the Stars and Stripes, may freedom forever fly. Let it ring! Salute the ones who died, the ones that gave their lives so we don't have to sacrifice all the things we love, like our chicken fried cold beer on a Friday. There's so many good songs. Travelin' Soldier. You know that song's actually by the Dixie Chicks, But, um, Cody Johnson's like unofficial cover, which he literally never released, is like the go-to song for military homecoming videos.

Yeah. So I was watching a bunch of those and just wanted to say thank you to our—

of course we forget—

military, to military families.

We get so caught up in the bank holiday of it all, you know, in the barbecue, taking day off work. We forget what it's really about.

Yeah.

So thank you for bringing that up.

And for those who have given their lives, the ultimate sacrifice, to our country for our freedom so that we can be swirly.

Now I feel like the theme of my day slash episode is like I'm cleaning my plate. Like my plate is being cleaned. I watched, took so many things off my—

the theme is this is your plate.

Yes, actually, thank you, Shannon Bedore. This is my plate, and my plate is kind of like onozumpic because it's getting smaller and smaller. Over the weekend I watched Remarkably Bright Creatures, and I have so many thoughts, like literally terrible.

Two, I finished Copper's Bellbird and Strangers, and we have a story today about it, so we will recap the book in the story because there's news about Copper's Bellbird and Strangers.

And I just want to say, like, my timing couldn't have could have been better, 'cause now there's, the book's been like lit for what, 6 months? I took forever to read it. And now there's like drama around the book. Thank God I've read it. I would've felt so left out. My copy of Lena Dunham's memoir arrived. I do wanna say it's really long. And part of the appeal, I haven't even started yet. I just saw the thickness of it. Part of the appeal to me was like every time people were posting it online, it just looked like a short little collection of essays. No, it's giving like memoirs.

It's like memoirs of a Lena.

It's also her second memoirs. So you would think like how long could this one be? You're only like 35.

Yeah.

So we'll see if I get into that, but really proud of myself. Things that remain on my list— oh, and I caught up on Rhode Island, and so did I.

So we'll talk about it in the stories.

Yeah, like, do you know what I mean? Yeah, if you're not watching on YouTube, like, I just made a stank face. That's how I feel about Rory right now.

Yeah, I'm excited to talk about it though, because we need to get to the bottom of things. Are you like feeling more Team Kelsey yet?

No, actually I'm feeling Team No One. I think this is— now that I've like started to get to know everyone, I think it's the biggest group of losers. Half of them are just genuinely uncool. Half of them are so unscrupled. Like, I love Jo Ellen, but she is so two-faced, and the other half are genuinely mean. Like, I think Liz and Kelsey are so mean.

Click's gonna click.

Clicks, by the way, 1,000%.

No, Rosie is chronically online.

Oh yeah, because she said click's gonna click in last night's episode.

Not even from the toast, just because we're like a viral sound, but like I keep seeing now like her videos on my Instagram and stuff. Like, she makes like, you know, Reels. Yeah, like influencer type Reels. Her and Ashley too, but Ashley's done that for years and she's a success, and she's just like chronically online, which is weird in a Real Housewife. But I guess if we're like blending Real Housewives and mood. Young women, that this is what like Bravo wants. It's like for TikToking housewives, but it's not my favorite.

TikToking housewives, that's just a terrible sentence. They're not supposed to be. They're supposed to be like Reels.

Reels mamas.

Um, last night was a major night in my household. I did fall asleep, but I felt really good falling asleep because the Knicks were up by like 30, and I just like laid down. And I was planning on— I watched the first two quarters, and I usually fall asleep around the third quarter. Um, But this one I really fell asleep early. It was nice. I slept really good. Um, the Knicks are going to the NBA Finals, which like in my house is the biggest deal in the world. Like I do really understand like why Ben is so drama. But so on Saturday night was the last game. I went to a bar. Yeah, that's right. Like we had drinks at a bar, like a sports bar, and we like watched the game. I was being so grab a slice. Like how chill is that? What would you do? Like I watched, I grabbed a beer with my, I don't have a beer.

What'd you have?

Teal soda. Like I had drinks with my wife at a sports bar and like I was with the other people cuz You know, I feel like Florida's like a lot of New York transplants, so like everyone in the bar, it might as well have been a Knicks bar. And I didn't go to a Knicks bar, I just went to like a bar, and I was like with other people being like, that was sick, like you would have been proud of me. I was so chill, like so pick me, so grab a slice.

And is that what I want for you?

Yeah, yeah, you, because like it really makes Ben so happy.

You're just trying to be like the, the model wife.

Yeah, no, and I'm seriously raising the bar. Like I was being so like And then I saw Travis and Taylor on, like, in live, like, they showed them on TV once. We literally got— they never showed them again. Like, the bar went wild, like, as if the Knicks had scored. It was, it was honestly one of the craziest moments of my life, like, seeing Taylor on that screen. You could have said someone's going to pop up.

I forgot that she was there. Like, that all happened this weekend.

Yeah, it was the longest weekend. Yeah, there were two Knicks games. So then last night was, you know, the fourth of the series. The Knicks were up 3-0. Do you know that in NBA history no team has ever come back from a 3-0? You know, you have to win best of 7, so you have to get to 4 first. No one No one's ever come back from 3-0, and one instance in the championships or in all playoffs.

Isn't that weird? That's wrong. I know, that feels weird. I know. Um, is Ben okay? No.

So obviously I fell asleep. I didn't see until this morning that he released a statement. My husband—

oh, that's giving my wife fell asleep and I'm putting out a statement. But that's like—

it's giving my wife fell asleep. I had nobody to talk about my feelings, so I wrote them down on Instagram.

So who are they playing against?

We don't know yet.

Who's it between?

The Thunder and the Spurs. Oklahoma City are San Antonio.

Okay, Oklahoma City is closer though.

Yeah, Ben's hoping for San Antonio. There are more direct flights.

He's so— Antonio.

So I woke up and I saw a statement. It was just crazy to be like lying next to somebody who released a statement about the Knicks. But like, I do understand this is kind of like his Taylor Swift, maybe even more. Yeah, like Ben said, it was like the first thing he ever loved was the Knicks. He was being so drama last night. And then when we were at the bar, I was like, do you think that like if they go to the finals or win the finals, like you would cry? And he goes, I don't know what my body's capable of. He's so drama. He's so drama. I'm really happy for him.

Like, yeah, me too. And the Brunson boys, was the chat on fire?

Ben is always like, you're always on your phone with the Knicks game. Like, you have to watch, you have to watch. I'm like, you're always on your phone. You and your little chat. Like, they're so ever— did you see that? They're always so drama. These refs, these refs. I can't, but they're so excited. I wonder if they'll take like a group trip to a game.

Yeah. Someone needs to bring the Brunson boys to a game.

Yes.

If you're really looking for to activate in the NBA Finals in a meaningful way, you have to bring the Brunson boys.

Well, you know that 2 playoff tickets before the Knicks were confirmed. They do sell tickets before you even know who's going to be in the playoffs. But to New Yorkers, I think they set a record. It was like $275,000 per ticket. It's going to be insane.

Is he going to go?

So Ben is like definitely working on the budget.

Like, like, but is there a way to go that's not too—

well, you can. I think they said today at 10 a.m. is when tickets go on sale face value. It's literally the era store. Like, good luck getting something face value. And if you can get face value, they are pricey, but it's not like resale.

I guess he could always go in. Like, would he ever go in like The, the $200 section. Yeah, of course.

Of course. Yeah. I also, Ben says that it's gonna be cheaper, the games that are away, like, right? Of course. So he's definitely gonna travel and I support that.

Okay.

Um, we're working it out, you know, we're figuring it out. It's really crazy. Oh, did you see Kylie was sitting in the second row?

Yes. Well, I heard that the owner of the Cavaliers said if any of the season ticket holders on the floor sell their tickets to Knicks fans, they'll be banned. Oh, I didn't hear that. To sit in the second row. That's why Travis and Taylor sat in the first row. Well, cuz he's a Cavalier. He's a Cavalier. But all Knicks fans, no one could get floor seats.

Yeah, I saw Spike Lee also sitting in the second row. Oh, that's like good tea. I didn't, I didn't hear that.

I don't know where I heard that. That's tea.

Well, I did know that if you sit courtside at an away game, you're not allowed to wear logos of the other team. Okay. So I thought maybe like Kylie and Timothée wanted to rock out, so they like put their t-shirts on in the second row.

Yeah, maybe. But her t-shirt was also giving like, I bought this at the merch stand.

Her t-shirt was seriously giving like one of Ben's t-shirts from middle school. No.

And she wore it with blue jeans. Like she was so regular. So regular.

She was being— there was nothing regular about it.

She was being so funny. Well, then with the BlackRock, but she was being so funny last night, all like jumping around and like taking pictures, and she was getting in like random people's pictures.

I do think she was like a little tipsy. And you know who is definitely drunk? Taylor. There are so many videos of Taylor like at the game, but then also like walking out and Travis taking the picture with the kid. She was turnt. You could tell she had a cocktail in her hand the whole time and she looked drunk.

I thought she looked drunk, which I love, but also it's like in one picture, like if you close your— if you're in the middle of a blink, you look drunk.

Like, no, I thought the videos, like even when you— I mean, you saw that video of them walking coming out, like a little kid. Like, everyone wants a picture with them, but a little kid comes up to Travis and Taylor like stops Travis and grabs him. They're like— Taylor doesn't mess around when it comes to kids. Like, she's like, there's a kid, go.

Um, I could just tell the way she like gave him a little shove she was drunk. Also, Liz posted a video of Taylor walking out of the stadium. I guess she's always used to people being there for her, so she goes to someone, thanks for coming.

You know, I saw that too. She was like, bye everyone, thanks for coming. Like, it was amazing.

Yeah, it's like when you tell your waiter, like, enjoy—

could you tell your teacher I love you?

No, when the waiter's like, enjoy your food, and you're like, You too.

Totally.

She's definitely like kicking herself.

She was definitely drunk. Yeah. Which I love. Date night. Date night.

Do you think she has a drinking problem?

Yeah. Yeah, I do.

Does Taylor Swift have a drinking problem?

Things we're covering on today's episode. This is literally a sports podcast. We're back to being so sporty, which I'm excited for.

Of course we are.

And I gotta find out who's on the— I think so Victor Wembanyama, you know that guy who punched Britney Spears?

Yes.

He's like the 7— I think he's 7'8". He's like a— Penn says he's gonna be like a 6'7". No, 7'8". You've been hanging out with the kids too much.

I've been hanging out with Margo too much. Oh yeah. Margo was at my house this week. I miss Margo Satchel Maloney.

I do have to find out on the other teams, like who they end up playing, what like the sort of pop culture implications are.

Well, the Spurs have Ben Simmons.

No, he's out of the league.

Devin Booker.

No.

Are you sure?

No, I'm not.

You know who loves—

Hmm? Oh, Webby.

Yeah. Webby Weminyama.

The guy who punched— I guess those are the pop culture implications.

The guy who punched Britney Spears. And the Suns.

Yeah, and I will say, like, a lot of my basketball knowledge is like from when I was in high school because like I was pretending to like basketball like to be cool to boys, and I actually ended up like knowing a lot and learning a lot.

It's just a shame that Danilo Gallinari isn't here to see this.

You're telling me. And like, Ben Gallinari walked so Jalen Brunson could run.

It's true. When Ben released his statement about like all the great—

and he didn't include Danilo. That's because like he's threatened by Danilo. The Danilo Gallinari erasure. Absolutely.

And to comment that. All I could think was like, I'm so happy.

That's a good comment. The Danilo Gallinari erasure is disgusting. Um, so I know that like a celebrity implication to the San Antonio Spurs is like, for a really long time their best player was Tony Parker, who was married to Eva Longoria like during the height of his career. And like she used to go to games and stuff, and then he cheated on her. Like disgusting, disgusting. But now she's married to a billionaire, so she can't root for the Spurs. No, we can't root for the Spurs.

I'm commenting on Ben's post before Gallinari.

Before you forget your good comment. Before—

yeah, like before I move on with my life.

Erasure. He'll crack up. Whenever I talk to Ben about like Knicks, I literally bring up players from 2012. So like, you're telling me Tyson Chandler's not going? Oh, you know there's a player called Mitchell, um, I saw Robinson. Snitchel.

Snitchel.

Like the team is so toast-coded.

It is.

Remember Jalen Brunson like put us on his Instagram last year?

Plus Kylie.

Of course. No, and then when Taylor was there, like it was genuinely too much for me.

Yeah.

Do you think she got some sort of clearance that like Kylie wasn't going to be there? Or she doesn't care?

I don't think she's scared. She's not scared also because she gets front row and like she has her man.

Yeah, yeah, it's true.

Once you have your man, like, I feel— I don't feel like she hates Kylie.

No, Kylie's just like collateral.

Yeah. So if she like ran into Kylie, I don't think it— like, I don't think she has like a dartboard with Kylie's face on it like it has Kim.

Well, I'm sure we'll talk about the next set of stories. Um, did we just get it out of the way?

Like, we sort of did. Okay, we sort of talked about it.

Well, I'm ready, and we're gonna be talking about it like all—

I'm transitioning all week long.

Congratulations to the Fast Five Stories that you need to know.

Okay, let's do it.

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You're welcome.

Our first story, we're going to start with Rory recap. Okay, Rory recap and now the basketball drama news.

Oh yeah, I'm not— what's the context on the basketball drama?

Okay, so in the most recent episode of Real Housewives of Rhode Island, Kelsey accuses Rosie of having slept with a married basketball coach who then paid her off so that she wouldn't talk about it. And that's how she affords her house, and that's how she has money, because we don't know how she has money. Of course.

And I agree, like, there is questions, especially now that I know what her husband does for a living. Like, I have a lot of questions, right? I don't think a one-time payoff from like a basketball coach, unless it's like you know, Mike Tibodego or whatever the Knicks coach's name is, like, is really going to sustain a whole lifestyle?

Well, I also need to know more about her house, like what neighborhood, like, like, you know, what sort of neighborhood is, what does a lot go for, you know, because she bought the smaller house and is building a bigger house. So like there are different, way different varying degrees of how much that could cost, you know. It could cost less than a million dollars, he could have paid her a million dollars.

Then you also sent me a clip this morning, um, from the after show where one of the producers asks her to clarify a little bit more about her finances and her husband's finances. And then they also have clips of the other girls talking about things they know about her family, his family, and very unclear.

Yeah, I wasn't really concerned before. I didn't find their house to be like so extravagant that I was like, how are they paying for this? I just assumed he has a good job and she's working on the influencing thing, you know, and she's now gonna be a housewife, so they'll do well. But like her videos that she was making of like going to local bakeries and stuff, like, was 30 views, so I don't think that was like bringing in the money yet. Yeah, but then she gave an explanation of how they make their money and she like cited a lot of random shit, and it was—

and she has clients like, it was so random.

All of a sudden I had concerns. I did not have them before.

It's true. And I really thought Kelsey was being like nosy, but now I feel like her claims are— her concerns are very valid.

More than that, did you see the most recent episode of Tea by the Sea? No. Dave Portnoy joined the conversation because he was like, my girlfriend's watching this Real Housewives of Rhode Island and they said that the girl had affair with a basketball coach. He said, and this brings me back to a couple of years ago when the coach of the basketball team for the University of Providence— Providence University, right? Oh, and they're a really good team, they have a really strong basketball team— all of a sudden left the team. He went to go to another state and play somewhere else. And at the time, there were whispers that he had had an affair and that the wife was like, we need— we're not staying around here with your mistress, like, we're leaving town. And he moved to a different college team. And so that would be the coach in question.

So I had heard that, like, this affair is actually well known in like the affair, the coach's affair. I don't know if it's with Rosie.

Of Providence.

There is like— people know this story. I obviously haven't heard about it, but people in the—

was very involved. He sold t-shirts.

Oh yeah, it was like a big drama at the time. Yeah, so I hadn't heard of it, but it's not like out of nowhere. I assume that they can't say the guy's name, it's like slander or whatever. Um, but yeah, this most recent episode for me, I feel like I was so invested, like whose side am I on? And I just saw like really ugly sides of everyone that I, I really dislike everyone. And once again, like It was, it was such a bad episode for everybody. Like, the under-the-table thing was not funny. It was such a bad episode for Liz. Like, I'm— I don't even like Alicia that much, but that car scene was really painful. She's really mean. She's just mean. And the thing is, they were like, she's the leader. She's like, everyone wants to impress Liz, right? Like, she's the rich one, she's the OG Rhode Island, like, every— and she's not like a benevolent leader. She's like a bitch. And I really don't like her. And I think Kelsey, like, is so desperate to crawl up her ass, like, she thinks, like, being mean to everyone is gonna get her that.

And so I just really don't like her. But I don't like Anyone. I wanted to smack Ashley. Like, guys, like, why are we yelling? It's like, you're yelling first of all.

You're making the biggest—

you're making a bigger scene. And second of all, like, you brought everyone here to your place of business, like, for this reason, to make a spectacle for your place of business, like, so Jared can be happy. So they're just actually doing what you asked of them, because if you actually cared, you would have disinvited Kelsey.

Yeah, you wouldn't have invited the both of them, right? No, her not being able to function because the girls were fighting, and then she's like in the back crying to Jared.

I know, and it's like, I want to hate Jared because he's really not a supportive husband, and I just want to be clear I do hate Jared, but watching it's like, your wife's crying. Like, why don't you like rub her shoulder? Like something. Oh no.

I'm like, your wife's a big baby. Like you're trying to, I think he like, you're trying to run trivia night.

I think he like can't stand her.

Like, no, I think that he likes her. No, no. I, I actually think they have a nice relationship, but like, you know, she has her handicaps as does he. And I feel like you're telling me, like he's very patient with like her and her emotions. Mm-hmm. And whatnot. And she's very patient with him and his dreams.

Yeah. Oh God. Not his dreams. Um, so like, it was just a bad episode for everyone. Like, and even though I think Liz is nuts and she's obviously like a bad drunk because she's definitely a little drunk in the car, and then I think when they get—

I think she also like— I think, and I maybe this is why I give her grace, like when she was sitting in the back row, she was really unhappy. Like, you could tell she was just like trying to figure out ways to get up front. When she got in the back row, she was shocked to tell— she ended up there. Yeah.

And I can remember when you get in the car first, when you're getting in a Suburban, dirty tip. Never get in first.

Like back row with a cheese board, like my personal nightmare.

Yeah, the cheese board was really unnecessary and it was pissing me off. They couldn't figure out what to do with it.

And then I guess I sort of tuned out the fight. It was just a lot, the fighting in the car. So I don't— I didn't realize how mean Liz was getting. But Alicia is like a little bird, and like if she wants to say she's homeless, like Alicia's storyline is like really not cutting it for me.

Like your poor decisions in your marriage and like not having any—

they're not even married.

Oh, sorry, in your— exactly, in your relationship. And then like your family trauma Sorry, that's like season 4 fodder. I'm just getting to know you and you're bringing nothing.

That's how I felt about Joellen having this like lifelong conversation with her mother.

Yes, but Joellen is like a bone carrier too. Like she's getting the video of Rula. Like she's providing for the storyline.

When she had her mother apologize to her, that was 30 years worth of trauma.

On TV.

On season— you're giving this to us in season 1. What if you don't even get renewed? Terrible. And you just gave us all that?

But Alicia gives nothing outside of that.

Yeah.

At least Joellen like tries, but she is really two-faced. 'Cause she's right, she was at the dinner saying, you know, her husband knew them growing up. Gary said, So it's like she's hyping up Liz and then really like being like a mediator. It's like, well, you're not a mediator cuz you started this too. So I understand why, but I think that Liz like definitely, I don't think she has a drinking problem, but people who get like that when they're drunk have a problem when they drink and they shouldn't drink.

Uh, yeah, I think it was more of like a motion sickness thing.

Oh, okay.

But also, um, did you see that like Liz and Dino and the drug bust? Yeah.

Like I, let me tell you something, when Dino enters the conversation, I'm out.

You leave.

Yeah.

Like I don't care if Dino was, if Dino's sitting in prison right now, I, who is Dino in this world? Yeah. I don't give a shit. We never got like a package on Dino.

We're just like supposed to care about this ancillary character who we literally saw from the back, like Liz's random fishing friend.

I don't care.

I'm just like starting— like, I, I was like obsessed with the show, now I'm starting to like hate everyone.

It's like not— that's what I'm saying, like it's something to watch and, and cool for that, but it's not like amazing.

No. And I'm sorry, like this can be really mean, everyone is poor.

Mhm.

And like, I like my Housewives affluent. Sorry. Um, I like to be impressed. And it's just insane that like this is the same show that once housed like Leah Black, you know, like truly when you look at the women of Beverly Hills and like their wealth and like the connection, like—

but like what I'll say is I just don't understand like the neighborhoods yet. Like, like it seems as though like Liz lives on the water, right? It's like a very big house, so I guess like she's of means. But like the other women, it's like if that house is in an app— is in a, you know, a good neighborhood, insanely rich neighborhood, then, then that's a really expensive house. If it's not, then it's not an expensive house.

None of them are, are super wealthy.

Like, yeah, it's really just a Okay, well, I guess they're trying to be more like Slammu then, because it's like, maybe we don't need the wealth. Maybe they focus too much on wealth.

It's hard. No, but it's hard to cast wealthy people. Wealthy people don't need to be famous, and a lot of times they don't want to be.

But I also think like Slammu is doing Slammu, like stick with what you do, which is—

no, and The Valley is like the Bravo version of, you know, young mothers, like women in their 30s. Like, you have that, why don't you focus on that? Housewives are supposed to be older women. I'm sorry, older women make good reality TV because they have like no self-awareness. These are not older women, these are not wealthy women. It's just like a random TV show of like honestly a lot of trashy people. I'm not liking it.

No, there's a lot of trashiness going on.

Absolutely. The outfits, like everything.

Yeah. And the behavior, of course. So when Kelsey came in and slammed Pig, it's like, that's not really how I would, um, react, react to something so, so fucking insulting and degrading. And it's why all of a sudden I thought we can't call women sluts and whores and slam Pigs.

I just want to say I never subscribed to that. You're all—

no, but like, but no, but on TV and on Bravo, like like woke nation, you can call her a slut.

Yeah, I think that's like sort of what— I don't think Bravo ever really stopped. They were always like accusing each other of being a stripper. Melissa Gorga, like—

but it's like, it's just, it's crazy. Like, that's just nasty. But it also—

when they were— I'm glad they talked a lot about the word because it does sound like a slur. Like, it's a crazy word.

Yeah. And it's also the way like a nasty guy would talk about a woman.

Somebody said that on the episode.

Yeah, locker room talk. And so it's really disgusting. So if I were Kelsey, I would not wanna highlight that I was called like an ugly, like, I guess that's her way of saying like, I'm not even close to this, especially cuz a slam pig is considered unattractive. Yeah.

Like she's not. So yeah, it's like funny cuz it's not even close to the truth.

But if it was like a little bit like, I guess cuz she's also like saying it so much that I'm like really over it. Yeah.

Which is good.

Like, no, it's actually, so what I'm saying is that's not how I would go about it, but I think she's actually like handling it in a way that's really like diffusing the situation. Yeah. You know, it's a lot with the sash and the pigtails. Pigtails?

Question mark?

Why was she wearing pigtails?

Oh, was she?

I didn't like that. And because like so much of my love for her is her look. Is her look.

And when she compromises her look, she compromises the entire situation.

So I don't even know if she was acting well or not in that situation 'cause I was focused on the fact that the looks were not looking.

Nobody won that fight. I think like any goodwill I had for Rosie after that fight, 'cause she did eat her up. Like she was just like screaming, "You're a loser!" Like I sounded just like her. Yeah. Oh my God. It wasn't a good fight. Like, the under-the-table thing was stupid.

And also, you were right, Rosie like got, I guess, chewed up at the castle. I didn't even notice that that was happening, but she did. And then she like went home and thought of all of her insults. And then the next— and then you see, I watched in the previously on, in that conversation with Rich, he was like, if they come for you, give them hell. So she's like ready to give them hell. Nobody really came for her. The weh weh is a joke. Like, it was a joke. It wasn't— she didn't think she was the housewife. How could that not be? How could that be anything other than a joke?

Of course. No, it was a self-deprecating joke, which is a good way to go into a situation of herself.

Yeah, so I didn't think it was that funny, but like, she's making fun of herself, she's trying to defuse the situation, and that's when you decide to unleash like everything that you worked on in your room in the mirror, all the insults you were going to sling. I'm not impressed. Agreed. I'm not impressed.

Agreed.

So that's your Rory recap. Yeah. Our next story, Copper's Bell Burden.

Oh my God. Okay, so I finished the book and let me just tell you what I thought about the book. I really liked it. Short and sweet. Like, she tells you what happens in the first chapter, and then you, like, have to suffer through her family history, which is interesting, but, like, what hap— what's happening to your house? Like, that's what I want to know. Um, and yes, it is a story that every woman should read, because if it can happen to this insanely, like, generationally wealthy, well-educated woman, it can literally happen to anyone. So now I think a lot of the criticisms, one which we'll talk about today, is like, she's so privileged. But, like, the book was kind of insufferable in her acknowledgement of her privilege. It's like, okay, we get it, you're rich, but, like, like, you're still a person. Like, she just kept having to caveat her wealth, like her family wealth, to the point where it was like, okay, we get it. Like, do you not want us to feel bad for you? And then also, like, the bird metaphors. Like, I, I understood the point, but like, she really went a little too hard.

Like, every— I skipped every paragraph when I saw the word osprey. I'm like, I'm out. Like, it was so—

what do you mean, Claudia Osprey?

It was just such a heavy-handed metaphor. And like, in the beginning I thought I got it.

Yeah.

And by the end I was like, okay, we're like beating this a little too much.

Yeah, but that's like, you know, that's what the literary world wants to see.

Yeah. And I didn't know that it was a story born out of a Modern Love submission, but I remember this Modern Love submission going so viral. So when she was talking about it in the book, I brief— like, I kind of knew what she was talking about. She's an excellent writer. Definitely an interesting story. Um, and now a lot of people are debating, you know, the merits of her divorce and the New York— New Yorker or New York? New Yorker did like a big investigation cuz they went through her court documents. Obviously all these are like public filings. What she had said in the book was that that. Her— she's a wealthy woman who married like a middle-class guy with like a job, with—

and he worked in finance, so like with a lot of earning potential, right?

And they were married for, you know, a long marriage. They had kids who were like well into their teenage years.

They were probably married like 20 years. And he woke up—

if you haven't read the book yet, this is a spoiler— he like woke up one day, like at the very beginning of the pandemic, the world shut down. They go to their house in Martha's Vineyard. He wakes up one day, she finds out that he had an affair. She's literally— she literally got a call from the girl, the lady's husband. Um, she's walking to tell him, and he's like— he tells her and he leaves. And like literally she never sees him again. Maybe 3 or 4 times he no custody. He does not want to see the kids. He wants no involvement in their life. He wants out completely. He never wants to see her again. He acts like the sun is shining too, like the whole time. They never even fight, like, because he just is—

he just like disappears.

So the book is like her dealing with like, you know, the morning of her marriage, you know, feeling so confused.

Like, literally, what was what in her relationship? Did she ever even—

stranger—

yeah, did she ever even know this person, right? And I can just do this to her.

We learn a lot about her history and his history. He like grew up at a wealthy family that like lost their money, so they were like fine, but he obviously had this like innate drive to like get back to restore his family's glory. So he worked in finance, and he eventually worked his way up to like a huge hedge fund. She really had no idea how much money he was making because their financials were kind of weird. They had separate financials but a joint bank account, and every month they both contributed, even though she stopped working. She did not work. She raised her 3 kids. Um, they contrib— but she had a lot of family money, so they both contributed to this bank account.

But it's also tied up in trust. It's not like she was just like, you know, walking around banging the credit card.

So they would both contribute to this joint bank account, and that would pay all the household bills. So she really did not know how much money her husband was making. And she said like she was like kind of blissfully unaware. She really, really trusted him. He was like a real— she married like a safe guy. He wasn't like the hottest, coolest. He was just like a good, smart, really nice guy. They met at a law firm. She was a lawyer. She quit her job. Um, and then she tells us about her family, which is like, you know, she has connections to Standard Oil.

Yeah, on her father's side, she is a descendant of Cornelius Vanderbilt. On her mother's side, one of the founders of Standard Oil. And her grandmother was the socialite Babe Paley.

So there wasn't like unlimited money for her, but she does say that like her stepmother and her mom helped her with like the kids' tuition.

And, um, they had trust for her, and used money from her inheritance to buy their apartment in New York when they first got married and a house on Martha's Vineyard. Her family—

she took the money out of her trust and then put it in a marital home, thus making it like marital property.

Her family made her sign a prenup when she got married, and her husband said that anything that is used to buy, um, no, he basically said anything that we bring into the marriage is separate. Yeah.

But And sorry, anything we make in the marriage, everything separate.

Yeah.

Like just everything separate. But legally, like any marital home is gonna be 50/50. So her lawyer was like, I really do not advise this. And she went against legal advice.

But what she did, the prenup that she signed was worse than not having a prenup at all.

At all. Of course.

Because if she hadn't had a prenup at all, she would've been entitled to half of what he made during the marriage. But what they signed was basically, you keep all the money that you make. I'm no longer working. And I'm putting— before he like made his millions. They bought the apartment, spent all her family money, spent her family money, which takes it from being inheritance money to marital property.

Inheritance money is— cannot be taken in a divorce. It is protected.

Yeah. So like, if that money stayed in trust, he wouldn't have access to it, prenup or no prenup.

But because they got millions of dollars in real estate in both of their names, she put her husband's name on every deed even though he did not contribute $1.

She literally gave him half of her trust because she drained her trusts to buy those homes while he got to keep every single penny that It was the world's worst prenup, and they had a really good marriage, and she wasn't really worried.

And she said they always had plans to just like call the lawyer and have it voided, and the one time they actually went to do it, he was like, oh, let's just like not do that. And she was like, okay. So they never really addressed it, and then he literally like had a lobotomy, woke up one day and decided he hated his family, never wants to see his children or family ever again. Um, and the one last thing, wait, I wanted to say— oh, so in the book she's talking about how during the process of the filings, um, She thinks she's gonna lose both of her houses. And he's like really like being like the worst husband.

Because she can, because he's owed 50% of each house, even though when he left her, he said, you can keep the apartment.

At the very end, he just wanted to like make her sick. No, no.

In the beginning.

Oh yeah.

In the beginning he's like, I'm leaving. Keep Martha's Vineyard, keep the apartment. I don't want anything from the kids. Like, but I'm leaving. Goodbye. So they go through all the court proceedings and filings and she's so like mad at him, uh, rightfully so that she files a petition. Um, she never tells us exactly what's in the petition, but we— she like alluded to the fact that it was pretty scathing and really enraged him. And he was like, well, never mind, I'm coming for half the house and half the apartment, and you will lose both of those things. And you don't get like half of my fortune, right?

And the fortune— so she didn't really know like how much money he was making. And then when everything came out in the divorce, she found out like he was worth like almost $100 million. He was working at a huge—

he was a partner at a hedge fund.

Yeah, like insane. She had no idea how wealthy it was, but he literally kept his own money and her and her family's dwindling inheritance continue to support their lifestyle.

Wow, also he was so cardboard.

Oh yeah, he was so cheap.

He was so cheap, he wouldn't let them do anything. Like, oh my God, he was so cardboard with the finances.

So now this New Yorker article is like looking at—

I mean, to the point of being controlling, you know? Yes, yes.

But she like blamed it on his family trauma, you know, when they lost all their money. Obviously he's got a lot of trauma.

Oh, so, so in their divorce proceeding, he's hanging over her head like, you're going to lose the apartment and the house, you'll have to move, like you'll get half of what it's worth, but then you have to buy somewhere else.

Or you have to buy me out. She couldn't buy him out.

Out, um, even though when he initially left he said like, you can take it. And then at the end, like right before they're about to go to trial, he gives it— he says you can keep both houses, um, and— but she like for months, maybe even years, like she thought she was losing her homes.

So what this article— like their big revelation is that they looked through the court documents and he also gave her a $3 million settlement. And so like she's not honest and she's privileged. And like now I think that they feel like her whole story is invalidated because she did leave that out. Um, and I just want to say, like, $3 million is amazing. Like, please give it to me. But like, the people that we're talking about, like, that's not a lot of money compared to his wealth. If somebody you're married to, you feel like you quit— you put your whole life on hold so he can earn $100 million, you really do deserve $50 and you get $3? Like, that's not a lot. I don't know why she didn't include it in the book.

Also, he's paying child support until the children are 22.

Thanks, you've never seen your children. Like, so her child support does amount to $600,000 a year. Which like obviously is a lot of money, but like he doesn't ever want to see his kids again. So yeah, thanks for the money, they gotta go to school.

Like, yeah, no, and it's like her family was paying for tuition and like their whole life ticket things, and he was just hoarding all of his money.

So now like, of course, everything that's what— like, Ability is a prison.

Oh no, so they're like, they're casting like doubt, you know, she's not that sympathetic. And the thing is, I don't really care about the details. Like, sure, it's good to know that she had— she wasn't like destitute. Yeah, after the fact, they cited the fact that she had like these huge trusts. There's one in her name that's $45 million, right? But it's like left for her to take care of her stepmom. She doesn't have access to $45 million.

That doesn't even matter. Even if she did, conceptually, this is the law. Your inherited money does not marital. So like, great, she has a lot of money. She is still entitled, not because of her dumbass prenup, but hypothetically, she gave up her whole life to raise her family. Like, she is entitled. And also, he got wealthy off of her back because his first job in finance was at like her brother or her uncle's company. And I do think that's how he got so wealthy.

Yeah.

So it's just like, no, the naysayers, like, people are getting so lost in the details when I feel like, yes, the bigger point is like, look, this is a woman who had access to the best lawyers, to the best trusts, the best everything, the best financial advisors, and even she almost lost everything. If it hadn't been for his last-minute mediation.

But it's not like they didn't advise— like, she went against legal advice, which is insane to do.

She's like, dumb. Yeah, that has to be like that.

Yeah, we have to talk about like the book itself. But anyway, so this New Yorker article is just like, you know, saying, oh, she's all this money and whatever. And I guess she could have included that she wound up getting like spousal support and child support, um, but it doesn't take away from like the message of the book, which is like women need to be financially literate in their marriages, understand what's going on.

Don't—

like, also don't go against legal advice.

Yeah, no, it's literally—

don't give away your inherited money to your husband while also Ensuring that he doesn't have to give you a penny of his money.

Absolutely.

Like that's really the message. Um, but the more I like think about the book, like, cuz at first I'm like, oh, what a crazy story. You know, strangers. Um, then I'm like starting to think about it. It's like every woman needs to read this book. Mm-hmm. Every woman needs to like realize like what could happen in the best marriage.

She didn't marry someone who was like a risk. She said I married someone so safe.

She loved him so much. There was no red flags.

It was a good marriage.

Yeah. So like the fact that this could happen, like know that, you know? And also, you know, to have the world's worst prenup, right? Know that too. Um, but then like the more time I spent thinking about the book, like I found her to be really frustrating. Yeah. Like I think she's like, everyone's here now, like this victim. But it really bothers me that she like kept forcing her kids to like go over there. He got an apartment like without even a room for—

No, he got, he got a second bedroom and he turned it into an office without a room for the 12-year-old daughter. Insane.

And it's like, if you don't wanna see the kids, like I'm not gonna put my kids in that environment. And I feel like so often when women like get divorced and they don't want to, it's like, it's a tragedy that they're not going to have their kids 100% of the time when what they wanted was a family all of the time. So it's like the fact that he didn't really want to see them, like, thanks, right?

It could have been so much worse. Like, you also then, like, he's fighting you for custody, right? Right.

That felt like such a blessing.

Yeah. I mean, it's, it is admirable. Like, when you, when you get divorced, like, you never want your kids to think ill of your partner, even if your partner did something really bad. Like, but the kids figured it out.

No, it was, in the beginning it was admirable. Like, oh wow, you're not going to keep them from him. That's like nice cuz he's their dad. But it's like, wait, why are you Why are you forcing them into this environment where they're not wanted?

The windup was that like he barely sees the kids now, and like she ran into him on the street and he was like, hey. Like, I do also think the underlying thing that wasn't being spoken was he sounded like he was also going through like a psychosis or something. Like, but I do think the reaction to the book was like a lot of people who went through similar things, like middle-aged men wake up one day, and I don't know if it is like a psychotic break or something, but they wake up one day and they just are different people.

Yeah, but she also had alluded to the fact that when he was in college, like, he was like, I don't know, fucking around or whatever, and he like one day just got serious about like, yeah, college and life, earning and life. And like the fact that he could do such a reversal like that maybe should have been a warning to her that he's like capable of just like flipping, you know, like just being a different person. Um, but that was really the only red warning she had. But even I wouldn't think that. I'd be like, oh, you were fucking around, you got serious, like, right? So I don't know. I don't know what if it's just like men. I like— not that I care about this guy, but like, I would— I'm curious how he sees it.

Like, obviously this is the ultimate revenge, right? Like, you get to tell your story, which is like cathartic, but it's beloved. It's being turned into a movie. It's Oprah's wish list. Gwyneth Paltrow's playing you and like, you're the big loser.

6 months on the New York Times bestseller list.

Yeah. And it's like, and you're the villain in the story. And like, now everyone's going to get to watch your divorce unfold through her perspective. It's like a nightmare. The thing is, I think he's genuinely mentally ill. Like, I don't think he cares, just because like his behavior— yeah, is that of a person going through a mental illness.

It is, it is. I just like, I would want to understand how he even like narrates this story to himself.

He approved the Modern Love piece. Like, I do think he's actually like in psychosis for real.

Maybe.

Who would approve that? Like, even if you like don't have anything to hide, who wants your— he's private guy who works in finance, like, who wants his shit out there? Nobody does. Yeah, the worst, most intimate parts of your marriage, like— yeah, it was a really good book. I highly recommend it. I'm glad I read it after 100 years.

Yeah, especially because like everyone's talking about it's gonna be a movie on Netflix. Yeah, and Gwyneth Paltrow, she's gonna get her bag. Speaking of Mel Burton's gonna get her bag back.

Oh yeah, speaking of movies, um, being turned— books being turned into movies on Netflix, I do think like Netflix is probably like— we don't give them enough hate. They're the worst at turning books into movies. So I watched Remarkably Bright Creatures, and based on— now I know the story, like The other book was like really sweet. Like it's a sweet story. The adaptation was horrible. Like seriously, Sally Field should be ashamed. Like her storied—

Razzie, do you think?

Yes, it's Razzie material. Like her storied career on this actual Lifetime movie.

And my birthday buddy.

Yeah, your birthday buddy. Like, oh, and the—

Lamar Odom's gonna be so devastated.

The guy, the main guy is that guy, Lewis Pullman, who dates—

Tiger Bird. Finally, I'm like, now I get it. Lessons in Chemistry.

He was cute. But like, I could, I now know what the book's about. And Ben was being so like the girl who read the book, you know? He was like, they changed it. You could tell from his, um, yeah, from his Instagram stories about it.

From his Instagram story.

And he did tell me what they changed, and I will say the things that they decided to change were completely inconsequential and like, who cares. Um, but Ben's like new here, so he was like, I can't believe they changed it, he wasn't that cocky. And, um, I was like, okay. But Netflix is really bad. They did Luckiest Girl Alive, which like was really bad.

I'll never admit that it was bad, but it was— it wasn't great. Yeah, I'll never say it was bad.

Prime is good, they do good TV shows. Hulu is great. Tell Me Lies— like, Netflix is really bad. Their department, like, needs to be fired and, like, start over, start from scratch. I hope they don't ruin Stranger's Bellburden.

I think Gwyneth will save it, but I don't know.

Sally Field—

like, did you say the Nicole Kidman one? Straight Perfect Strangers?

Perfect Couple.

Perfect Couple.

The worst fucking show ever. Like, the best book ever. Netflix sucks. Yeah, they need to do better. Um, they get good titles. Yeah, Perfect Couple was, like, one of the best-selling books a couple years ago.

Yeah, we love that book.

Yeah.

Are you ready for our next story?

What number?

3.

Oh yeah, sorry, I got a—

like, but the next 3 like sort of like fade into each other, don't worry.

So do you think I'm ready? No, no, no, no, I think I'm ready.

Oh, you think I'm ready?

No, I think I'm not ready.

No, I think you're ready, I think you're ready. That was like a big 2 stories, like we talked a lot.

No, but like, you think I'm okay? I don't think you're ready. The 3 stories that fade into one another are brought to you by Booking.com. So Booking.com offers a wide array of hotels, vacation rentals all across the US, so you can find exactly what you're booking for. There's something for everyone even those who are impossible to please. So whether you're booking for yourself, your partner, your picky teens, your sleep-light, rise-early mom, or your high-maintenance group chat, you can find exactly what you are booking for. So obviously, like, we're well-traveled individuals, and so we know what's good, and Booking.com is good. You know, I've been on a lot of trips, and sometimes your trips take different forms. Like, it's a swirly bachelorette party, we're turning up, we need a casino, we need a swim-up bar. Sometimes it's a family trip, we've got toddlers running around, we need a pool gate, we need a kitchenette for breast milk. Whatever type of trip you're booking for, Booking.com has it. So again, whether you're looking for yourself, your family, they have something that'll just make your stay memorable and beautiful. Um, they help you get it ridiculously right so you can find exactly what you're booking for.

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I drink Parallel every morning, but I put it in my Parallel branded cup.

Well, those are the electrolytes, which are great, but today I'm here to talk about their prenatal program. So if you think it's too early to start a prenatal cuz you're not natal, it's actually not. OB-GYNs recommend starting 6 to 12 months before trying. I was actually on a prenatal for for like 2 years, um, just because my doctor was like, it's— every woman around this age like should be on it. So whether you're pregnant, trying to conceive, pre-pregnant, pregnancy pulls heavily from your nutrient reserves. So a lot of women start pregnancy already low without realizing it. So it's definitely better to build up before you need it. Starting early makes it calm and proactive, not urgent and stressful. So even if, you know, you're in the not-trying-yet phase, this is perfect because they literally created a conception support pack for this in-between season. It's not a generic prenatal. It includes nutrients OBs prioritize before conception, like CoQ10, DHA, folate, choline. It was founded by practicing OB-GYN. There is no downside to starting early. It functions as a really high-quality daily multivitamin. If your timeline shifts, you still support your body. They even have vitamins for your pee-jaum, so you're both optimized for the trying to conceive era.

I love this. I also think it's brilliant that like when you do their prenatals, they also have different like supplements for the first, second, and third trimester, so you're not taking the same thing as everyone else for the entire 10 months. It's really smart. They've just totally like revitalized kind of an archaic industry. If you're pregnant, trying, or postpartum, you need check out Parallel. We can't recommend it enough. We have an exclusive offer just for you. New customers can use code TOAST and get 20% off your first order at parallelhealth.com/toast. That's p-e-r-e-l-l-health.com/t-o-a-s-t. Today's episode is also brought to you by Roback. We are prepping our closets for summer, and this year we're starting with Roback. Let's roll through some of our favorite picks. First, the Vista Active Dress. This one has the G2G technology, which is genius. Basically, you can pull the shorts down, go to the bathroom without having to pull your entire dress down. If you've ever worn an active dress, you know why this matters. It's one of those things where once you have it, you're like, why does every dress not have this? And you really won't be able to wear anything besides the Rowback one.

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Thank you, turd back.

You're welcome.

Our next story: Jacob Elordi and Kendall Jenner are enjoying an affectionate dinner date after their Hawaii vacation. Changed everything.

Oh, did it? Not for me. I'm so uninspired.

Sources say the Hawaii vacation changed everything for them in their relationship.

You're not saying that?

Oh no, no, no, the sources are saying that. They're not— nothing's actually—

I wouldn't say a trip traveling with someone, you know, I wouldn't take every—

they also are in Montecito having dinner. Yeah, so that's like another trip sort of, but I think she has a house there.

It's hard for me to care. I don't know why.

Um, no, it's good. Think about Kylie. Oh right, it's good for Kylie and Timothée double dates. I think the four of them should go to the Knicks game together.

I feel like Jacob and Kendall feel more compatible with like Kim and Lewis to me, cuz like it's such an obvious pairing, right? The most famous women in the world.

Didn't Lewis date Kendall or something?

Lewis Hamilton? Yeah, the guy that's dating Kim dated Kendall.

There's like a— like they were like spotted together once or something, like in 2016.

Like there's a couple of like weird overlaps, like Travis writing about Kim Kardashian in his book, and then, um, like Justin Bieber, they say, like maybe dated a few of the sisters. Let's pretend that they didn't. I feel like it's such an obvious pairing, right? Like Kim dating Louis, Kendall dating Jacob Elordi, like they literally look like siblings. I just find it so uninspiring. I am excited for— that's also Kylie, like I'm so on board with Kylie and Timothée, but in the beginning I was like, ew, like who is this little shrimp? Like it just didn't— but I like when people keep me on my toes, like I like being confused and there's nothing confusing about this Kendall and Jacob.

No, but like if they get serious, like that that's— she doesn't get serious like a lot. Who, Kendall?

Really?

I feel like she's had a lot of like long-term, but not serious, because she'd be like married, right, or have a baby. So I'm interested in the seriousness that they seem to be at. They're together like every day.

I'm still waiting for Jacob Elordi and Joey King to get back together.

Are you? No, no, no. I like this. I do. I, I'm ready for her. Like, I, I feel like I need like, I'm ready for her to get serious.

Yes, it is crazy that she's the only one in her family who like hasn't settled down. Yeah, never been engaged. Mhm.

We'll see, we'll see. Also, this leads to our next story. It flows nicely because the— you—

so are you glad that I did the ad break first?

Yeah, that's why I said, because like I wouldn't want to stop right now. I wouldn't want to stop right now because Jacob Lordi is also in the news because—

wait, so this is spoiler alert.

This is spoiler for you, for my favorite show to watch on Instagram.

I actually haven't seen it in reels yet, but me neither. Maybe it like is taking a couple— because I think happened on Sunday, so like it's taking a couple.

Usually I see it Monday morning, but I've heard about the bang that the Euphoria creator— the Euphoria character who dies— who dies, spoiler alert, you know, everyone knows— is Nate Jacobs, who is Jacob Elordi's character, who's Cassie's husband.

Um, and based on what I had seen was like he was in some financial stress, and I think he had maybe like taken money from a loan shark. So I'm gonna guess like it was a loan shark that got him.

Yeah, so the loan sharks, I guess in the last couple episodes they cut off his toe, they cut off his fingers. Oh really?

I haven't seen that.

The loan Sharks buried him alive in a coffin, and then a rattlesnake got into the coffin and bit him.

Okay, that's good actually. That's a better way to die.

And then he like—

yeah, being buried alive, like seriously, I'd rather die any other way. Any other way.

Cassie and I think Maddie were on their way to save him, and they would have gotten like to him if he was just like laying there not having been bitten by a rattlesnake.

Oh, but I'd rather die through a rattlesnake bite. How did the snake get in the coffin?

Well, it's underground, so it's just like—

but was it in the coffin or what? I don't know.

I don't— I didn't see this part.

I actually cannot think too hard about being buried alive. Like, it— sometimes I see those like AI stimulation videos where they're like, this is what happens when you get buried alive. Like, I, I actually can't— I cannot think of a worse fate.

Yeah, I've been watching like a lot of AI like series.

Of course, me as well. Strawberries, like—

Oh, of course, the strawberries.

I, I watched strawberries who are in Gina is like coming for her husband, the broccoli.

Have you seen the one about the spoons? The four spoon siblings?

No.

Oh my God. So there's two spoons that have babies. They have four babies, uh, a diamond spoon, like a gold spoon, a ruby spoon, and then one regular silver spoon.

Okay.

And the three gem spoons are so mean to their brother. Oh. And they grow up like bullying the regular spoon. And the regular spoon goes to his parents like, "They're so mean to me." So the mom tries to fix it, and then they are even worse to him. But then all the spoons go to university, and they're like, the three gem spoons are like, "So excited, we're gonna run this town." But it's very much like 21 Jump Street, where actually the losers are cool, and the cools are losers. So Silver Spoon gets with this girl that gem spoons had their eye on. But then they start to, they say to the girl, "We'll start nasty rumors about you if you don't stop talking about Silver Spoon." Oh my God.

Okay. No, the ones that I saw was like, did you see the one where they're all fruit and like the fruits give birth to an orange and the orange is like, no, I'm an apple. No, I'm an apple. And they like transition him to an apple.

Yeah.

Beautiful. Yeah. It was like the, who is making these?

Like, and sometimes I find myself watching this when I'm like, I'm watching a video about spoons when like I have 20 emails to go answer.

When I have 100 dirty spoons in the sink.

When I have like 3 kids.

Yeah. No, it's insane.

I like fall for—

You have to watch the Orangina one. She comes to the strawberry's husband who's a broccoli. It's insane.

I started to watch this one about a maid who showed up to this wealthy woman's house and she just had a sinister look on her face.

It's funny how we've like not seen the same ones. Like, none of these sound familiar.

So many.

I love the AI like Fruit Series.

Yeah. Or this like fat guy who like marries like this girl and she's like using him and he like starts to get into shape and it's really beautiful, but then it's like, follow for part 2. I'm like, okay, I'm going to go to my family now.

My human family. That's funny.

But there was a Ruby Spoon. He was so mean.

Ruby— no, he wasn't.

No, he wasn't. You could tell he felt bad that he was a moral compass. Are you ready for our fifth and final story? Alex Earls says a recent run-in with her ex left her in tears. Claudia chose this story.

Yeah, yeah. Would you not have? I didn't even see it until you chose it, you know, because they, they actually did some investments together during their time. So they're both investors in Sid Marx. So sometimes they have to go to Sid Marx's friends. I forget it was this weekend.

He needs to divest.

Absolutely. It's like Asia too, but she made a TikTok like she was crying, but she was like, I saw Braxton, we're in really good terms. I don't know why she was crying.

Yeah, she didn't un-get ready with me. Um, she said that she saw Braxton, they were taking pictures together, and then someone was like, Alex, get a solo shot. And so she pushed him out of the way. She said it was funny and fun, and then it wasn't. And then she spent the whole night being like, where is he? Yeah, like crying.

This is not the first time she's run into him and then like made an emotional TikTok about it. And I feel like if you're doing that like twice, like maybe you're still in you should just get back together.

Yeah, and like, he seems like so moved on and adjusted, and like, I think that's a little psychopathic.

Oh, you think like it's Bill Burton's husband?

No, it's just like, obviously, like, you guys broke up because Alex wanted to, correct?

Obviously.

So why are you not more heartbroken?

Listen, sometimes you, you don't want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you, you know what I mean? It's kind of curative to be broken up with. I do think it's actually harder to be broken up and to be the breaker-upper than to be broken up with.

I agree.

You don't have to make the hard decision. It's out of your control. There's nothing you could have done, and you might not regret it.

And you get to be the victim. Everybody feels sorry for you, as opposed to like, if you break up with someone, who's gonna feel sorry for you? That was your choice.

But if you break up with someone, like, you run the risk of regretting it. Yeah, you get broken up with, you don't regret anything you didn't do.

No, it's hard to make choices and big decisions. Absolutely. It's easier to have them like made for you.

100%. And even though it's hard in the moment, like, you do become better because of it. So I would rather be broken up with 100 times.

Yeah, and everybody feels bad for you.

I don't like love people feeling bad for me. No, but I'm not sure—

I'm not saying you want people to feel— but the world Everyone would rather be the victim.

That's true.

Not us.

No, never. But maybe some of our—

Not us, we're oppressors.

We are oppressors, big time. But you know who we might feel bad for? Some of our submissions.

Oh no.

So today's Dear Toasters is brought to you by Weight Watchers, 'cause they understand how important it is that we do Weight Watchers, and they knew by sponsoring the segment we couldn't punt it off till tomorrow. And we have some very exciting submissions sponsored by Weight Watchers. So hey, Jackson Claude, I've been at my current job for about 6 months and I'm having an issue with my new boss.

Boss.

He's always offering me candy. Hear me out, he doesn't take no for an answer and it's bordering on harassment. I'm trying to watch my weight and besides that, it just feels annoying when I politely say no thank you, he persists, he insists to the point where it just makes me upset. I told him in a joking way that he's gotta stop, but he still offers me junk food multiple times a day. I know it would be crazy to go to HR to complain, but I need advice and validation from my two faves. Do I just continue to complain to my sister or should I find a new job? Am I wrong for being so bothered by this? Pick me and I promise I'll follow your advice and send you an update.

Find a new job? That's dramatic because he offers you candy. Just take it and throw it in the garbage.

It's just easy to find jobs, like we're just quitting them because you're— no, but also like, sometimes what if you just were honest, being like, oh hey, like I'm struggling with my weight, can you fuck off? In like a more—

yeah, just be like, oh, I'm, I'm not having candy right now. Like, just, yeah, be honest.

What's the difference though between men and women? Like, a man would never think like consistently offering food to a woman like is offensive. He's like, what do you mean, I'm sharing. Whereas like, I see, like it's absolutely warfare and he needs to stop.

You have a little sweet treat in the office, you should indulge every now and then just to be nice.

But why don't you just be honest, being like, show me your Weight Watchers app. Listen, I'm on the Core Plus program. Like, can you not? Because that little Snickers is more points than like a thing of ground turkey.

Like, Kim, there's people that are dying and your boss is offering you too much candy.

Do you see this?

Unless he's a predator.

Jackie, you should bring a big vat of ground turkey because ground turkey is zero points. Be like, Tim, or whatever his name is, like, do you think they're gonna eat that? Look at what I'm eating.

No, or be like, Tim, this whole vat is zero points. This little Snickers is 5 points. Which one is going to be more filling? And then he'll be like, okay, get out.

Sorry I asked. Yeah, why don't you just torture him with like all your fun facts that you learned on the Weight Watchers app, and then maybe he'll leave you alone. That is annoying. Like, I feel like actually as a coworker, like, you don't bring me enough sweet treats.

Yeah, okay, I can work on it.

Yeah, just like a little note for you.

I was like going to make a parji loaf. Actually, I made one yesterday. It flew.

You don't bring me any loaves.

I know, I, I was making one this morning, but I didn't have enough time to bake it. Well, maybe tomorrow will be your day for a par loaf. I wonder how many points that is.

I have to scan it.

I wonder. I feel like it's really not so bad.

I'll have to scan it. Stop the guesswork and start something that just works. Join the Weight Watchers Core Plus program for the ultimate weight loss. To support and get better results, go to weightwatchers.com/toast to get a special offer for the Toast listeners. That's weightwatchers.com/toast for a special offer. And just to say thanks for the DTQ, you know.

Yeah, big thanks.

That, that that, I just want to say her final question, that do I just complain to my sister or should I find a new job? Like, that's insane.

That's insane.

Why would you find a new job? Also, you could ask HR to like move your desk. Like, there's a million things you could do before you quit your job, cuz there's too much candy. Although that is my favorite time of year. Like, when I used to like intern at like, um, like media companies, like any corporate gig that I could get, like during the holiday season, Halloween, so many sweet treats. People would bring in like baked goods.

That's like the best time of year.

It's also the best time to have a corporate job. Like, if I ever have to go back to the corporate world, like I will start my gig in October and by the new year I'm out. So many days off.

Is we just like came out of like the, the stretch of like boring year. Like we're in the home stretch now cuz it's like Pargy spring going into Pargy summer, Pargy fall, Halloween, Christmas.

Like yeah, we're going to have a Pargy fall.

We're going to have a Pargy fall. That's what I've been saying. But we also are going to have a Pargy summer.

Actually it was last year. We also have a Gargi Pargi fall, remember?

That was two falls ago. Oh, so we're due for a Gargi Pargi one.

Yeah, cuz you know us, we only have good years every other year.

So this is our year.

So Was 2026 is a good year?

So far so good.

No, but I mean like in our— cuz we always go like, was 20—

I think 2020. Yeah, cuz 2025 was really like a year of growth. We had 2 maternity leaves, like we weren't popping off.

Yeah, it's true, it's true.

I think we're going to pop off this year.

Now we're enjoying the fruits of our labor.

I think we're going to pop off this year.

I love that. All right, our next Dear Toasters. Hey Swirlies, please help. I'm pregnant with my second child and my husband and I cannot agree on a girl name. We already have a daughter. We don't know the gender of this baby yet and we have a boy name locked in, but girl names, it's just a war zone The issue is that I'm loving the name Cleo. Cleo! Obsessed. Can't shake it. But the problem is that Cleo was the name of my husband's childhood dog. Not just any dog, but like the sole dog status. He thinks naming a baby after a dog is insane. I think it's adorable and meaningful. I also have a cousin literally named after my uncle's childhood dog and no one in the family thinks it's weird. So swirlies, am I crazy? Is this a hard no? Turti, would you ever consider naming a child after Theo?

Great question.

Please help me before this baby— we can help because we have this situation.

Mm-hmm.

But the difference is is. So we, I love the name Theo. Like I, I think I, when Theo was alive, I wished that I didn't use it because I would've named my child. Lo and behold, Theo died and I was free to use it. Now I just feel like the name's a little too, too trendy, so I don't wanna use it anymore.

But, but would you say it wasn't, would you name a child Theo down the line?

Absolutely. First of all. Second of all, but stop saying that you're naming it after the dog. Like if I had a child, His name would be Theo because his name is Theo, not named after— I agree, naming after a dog is weird, but you can give the dog— sorry, you can give the baby the dog's name, but it's not being named after the dog.

It's not— two things are not related.

No, it's— I think it's weird to name a human after a dog.

No, that's insane. Um, you're fine to name the dog Cleo, like— I actually really like that name. The baby Cleo. I don't know if you were looking for like a proof, but he needs to grow up, you know? Yeah, you're still like crying over your childhood dog, like you're a Yeah, you're a father, you're gonna like forsake the right name for your daughter because like some dog that's like—

I would have also be giving you different advice if like I thought the name was really ugly, but I happen to think Cleo's such a cool name.

And I agree, Theo is like completely analogous to this situation. I would name a child Theo, you would name a child— if we wanted to, the, the Theodor Fucsiman of it all is not what's stopping us.

No, and sometimes when like people in our family are pregnant, the name Theo like always comes up because it—

we all do a lot of like classic older names, and the dog is never the reason why we don't go with it.

No, I think that just like if I named my son Theo, any version, like he would be like the 5th Theo in his class. Everyone's like Teddy, Theodore, you know. I just feel like it's too common now.

It's such a great name.

I was so ahead of my time, don't you find?

Yeah, because like, yeah, it's such a great name. It's such a great name.

And there was actually a kid in my grade named Theodore, and like he was such a nice guy, so I think of him fondly. All right, next up, third and final. Hey, Swirlies, I'm a 41-year-old divorced mother of two. My first marriage ended because of some pretty crazy domestic violence. I was single for about 4 years before meeting my now fiancé. He too was divorced with 3 kids. We got engaged last September. His ex-wife has always been drama, but recently it's really kicked up the crazy, showing up drunk at our house when it's her time with the kids to tell him that she loves him and wants him back. She said horrible stuff about my daughter. My daughter and his son are actually in the same class of school, and it got back to us. She says nasty things about me throughout our community. She's just the worst. Anywho, my fiancé always says that he doesn't really want to set some boundaries with with her because he thinks it'll only make her crazier because conflict and cause conflict for the kids. But what about me and my kids and how she continues to affect us?

Am I just being overdramatic and I need to let it go, or do I need to put my foot down and demand some more oomph from, if you will, from my fiancé? Thanks. I'm a swirly in need of some sound advice. What's so funny is that I feel like I chose a different one. I've never read this one before and I like it.

It's a good one. I feel a little out of my depth. This feels like grown-up problems.

This is such a grown-up problem. But she said that like the mother-in-law, the if ex-wife was talking shit about her own daughter and she said it got back to the daughter.

So here's what I'll say. I agree with the husband a little bit that like, you know, you don't want to set her off any more than like she's crazy. However, if this is negative, if your relationship is negatively impacting your children, you have to choose your children.

Oh wow, you think she should break up with her fiancé?

I think she should threaten it because maybe then he'll do something. Maybe like it is that serious. Like, I'm sorry, your children come first.

It is. Yeah, by the way, it is that serious, 100%. But his children also come first. So like, he is— he's putting his children before yours because he's choosing to keep the peace with the crazy ex-wife.

They didn't— they didn't show this in Blended.

Yeah, no, this is like— seriously, I do feel like I don't really know how to help you, but it sounds like you never put up boundaries. So like, why don't you just try?

Like, with her?

Yeah.

Like, I think you need to get serious with him about handling the situation.

It's tough. Like, I never thought about living in the same community, sending your kids to the same school. Like, yeah, that's really like incestuous.

Yeah. What do you think?

I think he's probably gay. Like, that's just what I say when I don't know what to say. Um, by the way, I would try— like, sometimes I know, I know what— why he says like, if we get strict with her or whatever, like, yeah, he could make it worse and then take the kids like, you know, more time away from him. Like, I get it, but like, I feel like it's worth trying, like putting up some serious boundaries. Yeah, because because like crazy people who get away with being crazy, like, it just makes them crazier. You're just really enabling her.

Yeah.

So I can't imagine that like putting up some serious boundaries like can make it worse than continuing to enable her.

Also, like, if he was once married to her, like, there's some love there. No, and it's like, maybe she's not only crazy. Like, maybe she's also like a person.

Maybe she's hurt.

No, and like, maybe there's like some re— like, maybe, maybe we need to like handle the situation, but like the situation needs to be handled your kids can't be like suffering.

Yeah. And I guess like a crazy drunk woman like storming into your house where your kids live, like, yeah, at a certain point—

it's not a good environment.

It's at a certain point you actually, you will have to do something. So you should start now before it gets worse. Mhm. Yeah. Nip it in the bud. Sorry, Jackie's right.

Like, I guess that's like, that's no fun.

She usually—

I know it's no fun, but, and I think even just like saying that to him might force his hand to like actually take it seriously.

Yeah. And I don't think you would be unreasonable and say like, this is not an environment I want to continue for my kids to live in. Like, I'll put up with it, I'm an adult, but like, my kids don't deserve this. Yeah, so maybe if he sees it through that lens— throw the kids down, throw the kids under the bus. I love that. And thank you to everybody who wrote into our weekly advice segment, deertoasters@gmail.com. If you wrote in and we read it on air and you want to provide us with an update, like, do that, because it's rude not to. Um, it's not good manners. Thank you so much for listening to the Toast of the Morning Show. We love the fastest phrase you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube. So watching us on YouTube, please don't forget to subscribe, give the video a thumbs up. Also, podcast, our podcast, Tune in to your— hope you guys have an amazing day. We'll see you tomorrow.

Love you, bye!