Transcript of What If One Bed Could Change Everything? Purpose Driven Leadership with Luke Mickelson

Welcome to Notes from the Edge, where we have the conversations we should have been having all along. We talk about the things that we're not talking about. I'm your host, Lisa Lacey, writer, trauma educator, executive advisor, and author of the upcoming memoir Notes from a Certified Madwoman. Welcome to The Edge. Hey, hey, my friends. Welcome back to another episode of Notes from The Edge. I am your host, Lisa Lacey, and this is the place we have the conversations we should have been having all along. Guess what? You ain't talking about it.

So today we're gonna, with special guest Luke Mickelson, and today we're exploring how one small act of service becomes a massive movement, and what Luke learned about purpose, leadership, identity growth, and letting go when the mission became bigger than the man who started it. But let me tell you about Luke before we get into it. He grew up as a hardworking farm kid in Kimberly, Idaho, where community, character, service, and hard work were simply part of everyday life. After building a successful career in business, Luke realized something was missing. How many times have we talked about that? You think it's success, but then you turn around and it's not. He wanted a deeper sense of purpose, so in 2012, that search led him to build a bed for a child who was sleeping on the floor. That single act became Sleep in Heavenly Peace, a nonprofit built around the mission: no kid sleeps on the floor in our town. What began locally grew into a movement with more than 430 chapters across 47 U.S. states, 4 countries, delivering more than 400,000 beds to children in need. Luke has trained and mentored hundreds of chapter leaders and helped develop a model of community-driven service centered around what he calls humans helping humans.

This is about human connection, folks. We are in a shortage of it. His work has been recognized by Mike Rose's Returning the Favor, CNN Heroes, NBC Nightly News with Lester Holt, Good Morning America, The Today Show, People Magazine, American Ninja Warrior. Hello! But growth also brought another kind of challenge. Eventually, Luke transitioned out of leading the organization he created and had to confront those questions we always talk about in here: identity, right? Purpose. community, and the tiny moments that can make enormous change in our own personal lives and therefore the lives of others. Luke, welcome to Notes from the Edge. How are you today, my friend?

I'm great, Lisa. Thank you. That was great.

Yeah, it's so much easier when somebody else says it about you. I love it. I love saying it about you guys. Everybody says that. They're like, damn, I'm good. Yeah, I'm good. I did a lot.

Something right.

I did a lot. All right, so Luke, I want to talk about the moment because I kind of lived this too in corporate healthcare America and thought I had the, I had the 6-figure income and the house and the toys and the cars and the things and the career, and I was good at it, but I was miserable behind the scenes. Talk to me about that moment when you were like, whoa, there's gotta be more.

Yeah, well, I think everybody kind of goes through it in their own way at some point in life, you know, and I couldn't tell you why. You know, I think it gets chalked up as a midlife crisis, you know, whatever that means, you know what I'm saying? But for me, you know, I grew up in a small town. I mean, we're talking less than 4,000 people. And when you're— and I think when you grow up in a small town, number one, the best part about being in a small town is also the worst part, which is you know everybody, but they know you as well, very well, you know. Yes. But, you know, you look back at that, which you may have hated when you were young, but you look back at it and you're like, oh, that's where I grew my sense of community. That's where I learned that, you know, it's important to stop when someone's pulled over the side of the road and see how they're doing. And, you know, you just did that, right? Yeah. Especially in a farming community, you know, because when you're out on the farm and the tractor breaks down, guess what?

You got to figure out how to fix it, you know, or maybe you got a good buddy you can call.

Well, my husband's a mechanic, so you can call him. He can fix a tractor too. Yeah.

Yeah. I am not. No, you don't.

Well, and he's from a small town too, and he went through that wanting to get out only to end up running the family business and realize how much he appreciates the people that know him and even all the stuff he did that probably wasn't so great during his growing pains phase. So yeah, I love that.

We could chalk that up to just— we were just young. I think that's the Miley Cyrus song, right? We're just young.

I don't know, Luke. I did it till I was 40. So yeah, I went a little too long because it's not cute anymore.

I could tell that about her.

Yeah, it's not cute anymore. I didn't hit my stride until 40. So I want to talk about the transition that you made, the one small act of service. The building one bed for a child sleeping on the floor. And at the time, you had no idea what that was going to turn into. How did it turn into such a big movement?

Well, yeah, it's a great question. And I'll just address your first question real quick. When you reach a certain age, and I was raised by a single mom, right? And so when you're raised by a single mom, or single parent, period. My mom pounded in our brains, get your education, get a good job so you're not going to suffer, blah, blah, blah. Right? So my measure of success was always the zeros behind my paycheck. Right? Yeah. Which is not necessarily, it's not necessarily a bad measure of success. And I felt when I hit my 35-ish range of life, I wasn't rich by any means. Right? I was making a 6-figure salary in my small town, which is great. I was very comfortable. But there was something that happened. You know, like we talked about, there was a shift. I really didn't care about that anymore. You know, I had a couple of kids now. I was coaching football. I had a good career. I was in church service. But, you know, success doesn't always mean fulfillment. You know, it's not like, oh, I've made it. But this is a hill I don't want to be on.

I don't even care about this hill anymore.

I love that. I'm on this and it kind of sucks.

It kind of sucks. You know, isn't it? Isn't the bad too. You sit here and you're like, I got a good job, making good money. I'm in a good house. I mean, 99% of the world—

You did all the things, right?

Oh, yeah. Checked all the boxes. And, you know, like 90% of the world would die to have my life. Right. And so when you're in the top of this mountain that you reach that you don't really want, you almost feel guilty about it. I was like, gosh, I should— which actually compounded this almost depression, if you will, you kind of go into. And, you know, and I was going through a faith crisis. I was going through an identity crisis. I didn't know what I wanted. Hey, you're talking to a guy that always knew what was in front of them, always wanted to reach that pinnacle and fought for it. Well, it was in this stage of trying to find some passion, trying to find which hill do I want to climb when I was sitting in a church meeting and I was over the young men's program. So the Boy Scouts is basically what it was. So I was like the leader of the leader of the Boy Scouts. Well, I'm in this meeting and this lady stands up and she was talking about uh, you know, people that we're helping in the, in the community.

And she, she mentioned a family, which was interesting because they lived in a part of town I didn't even know existed, which I've been riding my bike around this town since I was 5. I mean, I thought, I thought I knew every tree that was planted, right?

And so she— That's how you give directions, right? The big oak tree on the right and the mailbox right of the water tower,

left of the—

yeah.

So she's, um, she said, well, you know, she had visited the home and, uh, or the apartment and the They rattling off, you know, the parents needed help, rides to work, the kids need rides to school, and they didn't have any beds, and they needed food, and they needed coats. And I went, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a minute, wait a minute. Did you just say the kids don't have any beds? And she says, well, yeah. And I'm like, well, they've got mattresses or whatnot, right? And she looked at me and she said, no, no, they're just on blankets on the hardwood floor.

Oh.

And yeah, that— I was like, you got what? In my town, I mean, I was almost mad about it, right? I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, that we can take care of that. Like, I wanted my Boy Scouts and I did. Now, I've never built furniture before in my life, but hey, I know, I know my way around a tool, right? And I actually really, I really thought, Lisa, here's a great opportunity to get an Xbox controller out of these boys' hands, right? And put a drill in it. There you go.

Put them to work.

Come on, I'm a football coach. It's either that or you're going to run a lap. So, So that's what we did. You know, I, I kind of— I went to my daughter, had a bunk bed, and I patterned it after the bunk bed, made it really simple, right? Because I'd never built anything like that before, and I know the Boy Scouts hadn't. So—

Oh, so you literally built the bed? You didn't just go buy a mattress, you built a bed?

Yeah, I went downstairs and measured and marked and did all this, and I went to Lowe's and they let me, you know, buy the wood and went to my house. And we— I mean, it took like 3 nights to build this bed, this bunk bed, because we'd never done it before.

Yeah,

but it was, it was so awesome, right? You got to see the kids and they, they were, they were excited to and feel the feelings of fulfillment when you serve. And then, and then to know that they're doing something for a young kid. I mean, it was just awesome. Well, some of the problem was, is everybody started hearing about this within the church and the community. And the night, Saturday night came around to go deliver this. Well, half the town showed up to go to deliver this bed and seat.

Oh, yeah.

I was like, guys, I mean, which was way cool. I mean, come on. Like, you know, and I was like, you know, we can't send an army me over to this 2-bedroom apartment, right? You know, so, so I said, take off

a little, back

off. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Pump the brakes here, guys. Right. Well, it was,

uh, we're gonna scare these people.

Yeah. Well, I wanted the Boy Scouts to experience it, right? So I said them and their parents and some other friends went. I stayed back with a lot of people. Number one, I had to clean my garage. It was a dust pile. I mean, it was just right. And this is like the first week of December in Idaho, which is not a tropical place, by the way.

Oh yeah, we're in Georgia. It's hot. It's hot right now.

We were freezing. So anyways, so they went and did it and I stayed back. Well, the next day at church, the kids just talked about how amazing it was. I mean, to see young kids almost cry when they're talking about a service project. Talk about a win-win, right? I mean, I was just, I couldn't have been happier. I was a little jealous. Let's be real. I didn't get to go, you know, but, but hey, You don't worry about that as an adult. We were glad that the kids got that. But the next week comes around, right? And it's kind of funny how life just kind of creeps itself back in, right? You know, I had this little taste of passion that, by the way, I've been looking for. And now, this rut that I was in was almost worse because here I tasted it. I had a— this is what I was looking for. And, but I had solved child bedlessness. No more children on the planet were sleeping on the floor, you know, at least in my town. So I thought. And I was on the couch and me and my kids were watching Big Bang Theory.

That was our favorite program back in the day. Who doesn't love Sheldon, right? And well, a commercial come on and it was a commercial about something about an Xbox game controller. I can't remember. But being in the first part of Christmas, every parent knows what's going to happen next, which is my kids beg me for another Xbox. And I'm like, in the back of my mind, I'm like, listen, I'm hunting for passion. I'm struggling right now. What am I supposed to do? What do I believe? My kids want another Xbox. They got one. I just delivered a bed to a family that didn't have beds for their kids. You got a bed. I mean, just this big storm of questions and thoughts and whatnot was just going through my brain. And then I had a very clear thought. And it was like, you need to teach your kids the same thing you taught the Boy Scouts. Right? Very simple, right? And I'm like, duh, you know. I just stood up. I didn't say a word to them. I just stood up and started walking to the garage. And my kids are like, Dad, where are you going?

Like, the program's on. And I turned around, I said, you know what? Very serious. I turned around, I said, I got leftover wood. I'm going to build another bunk bed and you're going to come and help me. And, and, and they came out and Lisa, we had a great time. I mean, I got pictures of my daughter in her pink tutu. you know, drilling away and my son in his Boise State jersey, you know, pounding on wood. It was great. We had a great time, right? And I wanted them to feel the joys of service. Like I have always my entire life been very keen and love that feeling of fulfillment that comes when you serve people. Yeah. And well, we were done. Now, the ironic thing was no idea what to do with it. Here I got this bunk bed. Just finished.

Got an extra bunk bed now.

Got an extra bunk. Yeah. What do you do with it? Right. Well, my wife says, well, why don't you put it on Buy Sell Trade? Now this is 14 years ago. I have no idea what Buy Sell Trade was back then.

I don't know what Buy Sell Trade is. Is this like a seller place or?

On Facebook? Yeah. Just Buy Sell Trade. It's just—

Oh, gotcha. Marketplace. Gotcha.

Marketplace. Yes, correct. I don't think they even had Marketplace back then. I don't even remember. But, um, so I was like, okay, fine, we'll do that. Well, 2 things happened when I did that. The first thing was, is how many people comment on this post. Now, I wasn't used to that because I just used Facebook as showing all my sturgeon fishing I caught. That was about it. But I had all these people comment, people I had no idea who they were. I actually had friends that I hadn't talked to for 20 years comment, which I thought was pretty cool.

Yeah.

But the second thing was, is what they commented about. Every single one of them knew a kid that was sleeping on the floor. And to hear, to hear the conditions like hardwood floors, on pallets, on couches, on air mattresses, which we know how that turns out, right? 3 or 4 to 1 bed, or they're sleeping with their parents. I just had no idea that was going on, especially in my not poor part of the world. I mean, we, you know, this is a rich farming community and And it just shocked me. It shocked me.

It shocked me.

Yeah, it wasn't ready for it. And then I got a phone call, a phone call from a friend of mine who said, hey, Luke, have you delivered that bed yet? I said, no, no, why? She says, let me tell you about Haley. Haley is a 6-year-old girl that has never slept on a bed before. I was like, what? She's like, yeah, she just slept in the backseat of her mom's car. They were homeless. And I'm like, oh my gosh. And she says, I've helped them get a house because she worked in the social services somewhere. And I said, perfect. This, this is what I wanted this bed to go to, right? So I loaded this bed up and me and my buddy took this out to Haley's house. Now, I'd seen homelessness before. I'd seen transitioning homelessness and foster care and these types of situations, but I never walked into it looking at like through the lens of a 6-year-old, like, like seeing how a 6-year-old would see it. Right. And when you do that, when you walk into this house and there's nothing— I mean, there was zero furniture. It was a can of soup that was on a hot plate.

That was the only thing in the house. There was no couch or TV to watch cartoons on. Right. There's no kitchen table or chair to sit in the morning before school and eat your breakfast. There's nothing like that. Right.

The things we take for granted.

Oh, my gosh. Right. And this little girl was so happy to show us her house. She didn't know why we were there. But she's like, she's showing us around. She's like, hey, can you want to see my bedroom? I'm like, heck yeah, let's go. Right. And so we walk back in there and you can imagine what this looked like, right? I mean, there's holes in the carpet and tears in the wallpaper and the closet door was missing. You know, it's dimly lit. I mean, this is— but the worst part, which I was not ready for, Lisa, I mean, hmm. I looked in the corner and there was a pile of clothes. It was her school clothes, and that's what she slept on. She'd come home from school, put her PJs on, sleep on her school clothes— and I'm talking shirt for a pillow and pants for a blanket— and then wake up and put that same shirt and pants on, go to school.

Damn.

I, I, I didn't know. I mean, I was speechless. I didn't know what to— I'd never seen it, never heard of it before, right? Um, other than maybe like third world countries, but not my own hometown. And again, I was almost mad, but then I got pretty excited because we had brought her her bed. And we started bringing the pieces of the bed in, and I kind of want to watch her. I wanted to see her reaction, right? And sure enough, as soon as she realized what we had brought was a bed, she just erupted. I mean, it was Christmas morning. Just came over and hugged us, these 2 strange dudes in her room making all sorts of racket, you know. And then she did something I'd never seen nor will ever forget. She went over to this bed, wrapped her arms around it, and then kissed it like it was her sibling, like it was her mom. I mean, and if that wasn't enough to have this strong farm kid from Idaho lose it, then I look up at mom and here's the 6 years of tears pouring down this single mom's face. And I was raised by a single mom, too.

So I knew what each one of those tears meant, you know, the hurt and the pain and the guilt and the worry. of trying to provide for your daughter, you know, and unfortunately, a bed just happens to be a luxury that she couldn't afford, which is a terrible thought, you know. And I just remember thinking, listen, me and my kids spent a couple of hours, you know, a couple of nights that week to build a bed to solve that problem. Yeah, that's, that's well worth my time. And listen, I'm a farm kid from Idaho. I love hunting and fishing and outdoors and camping and college football and all that. All the tough stuff, you know? And I loved it for 35 years, Lisa. Just like that, none of it mattered to me anymore. It didn't. I just— to think of a child, especially around Christmas, to think of a child sleeping on the floor when I know I could do something about it. I said, no kid's going to sleep on the floor in my town if I have anything to do with it. So we started building beds. Wow. And the interesting thing was, is, you know, of course I had that list from that post, right, that I did.

So I'm like, I gotta fulfill that list first thing. And so we built 21 beds and delivered them before Santa showed up, you know, that, that year. So I mean, every night it was a constant for 3 weeks straight, just building beds.

And then, oh, you were getting good at it.

Oh yeah. In fact, you know, it's funny, I remember, I remember I I completed a bed by myself. It took me 2 hours. Now, this wasn't sanding or staining. It was just cutting it and putting it together. And I thought it was the greatest thing on the planet.

That is kind of the greatest thing on the planet.

Well, I think so. We, we now, since we know how to do it, we can build— in some of these build locations where we have a lot of people, we build a bed every 12 seconds. I mean, it goes fast.

Whoa, you guys have a system down now.

Oh yeah, Henry Ford would be very, very pleased with what we do now.

I like systems, Luke. My brain likes systems. You guys developed a system. So I love the fact that you had this moment of realization that everything that mattered to you before no longer mattered because you had purpose,

right?

You found your purpose.

And you didn't know it. Like, at the time, I'm like, It was just a passion that instantly just fired. I mean, I'd never had like almost like a bomb go off in you. Like, you're just like, yeah, I'm gonna do this. Like, and I couldn't, I couldn't think of anything else really. My vision just went. And I'm one of those hyperfocus guys, right? You know, you get on something. In fact, my wife—

Called tunnel vision. We call it tunnel vision in here. My husband's like, Lisa, get out of tunnel vision. Yeah,

you and I, yeah, we're a lot alike. There's pros and cons, right? There's not a project that's not finished around my house.

I don't know, are there cons to it. It's how I roll. That's what I keep saying. How I roll. Yeah. If there's a problem, we can fix it. Let's fix it.

Yeah. Let's get it done. Yeah. You know, and I just— and honestly, honestly, I thought, oh well, I know of these few kids that are on this post. I'm gonna solve child bedlessness this, this month, right? You know, I'm gonna get it done, blah, blah, blah.

One at a time.

One at a time. We're gonna get it done. The problem was, is the more we built and the more we shared on Facebook what we were doing, you know, the more kids that we learned about. I mean, not just in my own hometown, the towns next door, even the states that, that found people that just knew us, right? It was shocking. Like, I had no idea that child bedlessness, although not a real word, by the way, bedlessness isn't even a real word, which is—

It is now.

It is now. Gosh dang it. But it's a real problem, you know, and

Wow.

It actually represents, now that we've done this for a while, 14 years, we know it represents greater than 3% of the total population of your town, you know, on average. So if you're in a town of 100,000 people, there's 3,000 kids that don't have a bed. They're sleeping on the floor or really uncomfortable situations. And, you know, as you and I speak right now, we have over 130,000 kids on our Just our waiting list in the United States, and we only cover 30%. I mean, it doesn't take rocket science to put that math together to know that there's a major problem here that, guess what, nobody knows about.

Wow.

Nobody's— nobody knows that there's kids even next door that are sleeping on, on the floor, sleeping on couches, you know. And, and here's the thing, you know, when you stop and really think about it just for a second, just think about what it would be like to be a kid like that. Like Haley, 6 years old, you don't have a bed. So you wake up on your clothes. You probably— good chance you didn't sleep well. You know, you're not ready for school, certainly not to learn like the other kids. You're probably in a bad mood. You know, they wake up on the wrong side of the bed.

Your back hurts.

Yeah, everything hurts, right? And so you're not getting good grades. You know, chances are you're not making the greatest friends, right? And what friends you do make, You don't have sleepovers like everybody else because you don't have a bed for yourself. And so you go to your friend's house to hang out. Not only does little Johnny have a bed, he's got throw pillows. I mean, come on. What message does that little girl now see? And worse yet, Lisa, when you and I have a bad day, we lose a client or the boss was rough, or we have a fight with our spouse, or worse yet, When we get the flu, I don't care who you are. You tell me the one place on the planet. Oh yeah. What is the one place on the planet that we all just can't wait to crawl in and forget the world for a while? It's our bed. And these kids don't have that. That's the sad thing.

Wow.

Yeah.

I'm just sitting in gratitude for a moment, Luke. Really just sitting in gratitude. You know, an interesting story about myself. We ended up in a cab-over camper from the time I was 11 to 14. Cab-over camper that sits in the truck. So my bed was above the truck and I'd have sleepovers with friends in that cab-over camper. But long story of growing up in, in poverty, but I always had a bed of some kind. So always had a bed of some kind. I want to know what this has done for you. You've been at it 14 years now. I know there's parts that have to be painful, um, you know, seeing and, and not being able to do enough. You're doing what you can, but there's still more to be done. But for you, Luke, you as a human, you as an individual, you as your person, what did this do for you to answer that gnawing of— What the hell is my purpose?

You know, a couple of things I've learned. Number one, everybody has different passions, right? You know, it's funny. Here I'm doing this big project. And this is a couple of years in the middle of it. And I really didn't— my family helped once in a while, but not near like some of my friends that were like all in, right? And at first, it kind of upset me. Then I've learned though, very, very easily that No, everybody has their different passions, and we need that. You know, the good Lord gives us that, or else we'd all be fighting for the same thing, you know. So, you know, that's good. And I'm just dang lucky that I found something I'm very passionate about, right? And it landed in a time of my life that I really needed it. You know, I was on, I was on Mike Rowe's podcast a couple years ago. And he pointed out, like, no one has ever done this before. And it kind of caught me, you know, Mikey, You know, he does a great job catching you off guard. And he says, you know, Luke, you know, I know you do this because you want kids to get off the floor, but people do it for themselves a little bit too, don't they?

You know, like, well, you're not wrong. I mean, and it's true. You know, we, I always tell people, look, if you want true joy in life, you got to stop looking at yourself at least once in a while and see how you can help someone else out. Because listen, you know, your problems, they don't just magically disappear because you went and served someone. Of course not. But when you go and serve, there's— something happens to us. You know, when we have a problem, Lisa, you know, we're like every human being on the planet. When it's difficult to deal with that problem, we throw it in the closet for a while and we're like, we'll deal with that later. Well, that's when our crazy, dumb, stupid, super, superpower that humans have kicks in. And what happens is now when we don't want to deal with the problem, we shut it away. It just grows. It grows arms and legs and fangs and all sorts of crazy stuff.

I call it tomorrow Lisa's problems.

Yes, exactly. She seems more tough tomorrow than right now. It's so true. It's so true. And so, but when you go and serve and when you stop thinking about your own problems for a second, worry about someone else and help them and do that. it puts you in this state of mind where your perspective is changed. I mean, how many times you come home from serving someone or even seeing someone serving or even seeing poverty and you're like, you know what? That problem of mine that I've locked away, okay, it's not that big of a deal. Right?

Yeah.

And now you're probably in a better position or a state of mind or perspective that you can do something about that problem or realize it's not that big of a deal. So you find ways around it or find ways to deal with it. That's why I think service is so important for yourself. Because, you know, you wake up and I teach people about trying to follow their tiny moments, right? And we don't practice that enough. You know, here we expect to go to a 3-point and shoot a 3-pointer for the first time and be awesome at it. You know, no, you got to throw it. You got to shoot a few once in a while, right? Well, do we do that with service? Do we go out and actually practice Thinking about, thinking about our tiny moments, because tiny moments come to us. You know, you see a problem and it doesn't take— you don't have to walk far from your house to see the problems in the world, right?

Mm-hmm.

And some of them you feel more, you feel for more than others. And I think it's that feeling that something's telling you, Lisa, you care about that. That's something that you should do something about. Now, there's other problems you see that it's not that big of a deal to you. But it's probably big to someone else. So, this is yourself telling you, okay, get off the couch. Go do something about that. Now listen, every tiny moment might not change the world. But I promise you, it's going to change someone's world. And most of the time, Lisa, that someone's world is just ours. It's our world that we change. And what better person to get changed, to get right, get ourselves right That's when we can actually start making some big changes and helping our fellow humans that need help.

Luke, I want you to talk to me about the ripple effect of that. What is the ripple effect of tiny acts of service? And the interesting thing in your story is you said a soul yes to the gnawing. Right. I always call it the gnawing in us. It's been placed by the— it's been divinely placed within us. If there's a gnawing to do something, then we are meant to birth that into creation or bring that idea into creation or help with that idea. It's not gonna go away, my friends. So get off the damn couch, get out of your comfort zone, and do something about it. But talk to me about the ripple effect of those tiny practicing— I love your word practicing there, those tiny acts of service.

Yeah. Well, if Sleeping Emily Peace isn't a good example of that, I don't know what is. You know, you got, you got a farm kid from Idaho that has no business running a nonprofit, right? And, and then you, when you, when you demonstrate— not, that's not a good word. When you express your passion, especially when you find it, right? When you express your passion, That, that's where leadership comes in. That's where people see and want that. They want that same passion, because most of us don't have it. Let's be real. Or we don't have, you know, to the extent that where you're going to change your life for it, you know.

Mm-hmm.

And so when people see that, they admire it, and they want that; they crave that, right? And so if the ripple effect that comes from your passion isn't anything other than inspiring others to find their own, Awesome. Yes. Right? Awesome. You know, and I— and one big, huge byproduct, if you will, of building beds for kids, at least the way we do it, I didn't know, I wasn't aware, or I shouldn't say I wasn't prepared for it. And that's how many amazing people you meet, how many amazing people. That's a big— that was a big surprise to me in my own home community, how many amazing people that— and there was tons of them They all want to help. They just don't know how. And I was one of them. I mean, I helped, right? The Boy Scouts, we built wheelchair ramps and stadium seating and blood drives. And, you know, we did all that stuff and it was fine, right? It was good. You got the fulfilling feelings from that, but nothing like this has for me. And so, I think when you demonstrate, like my 5 steps for for, uh, finding your passion is you see something, you feel it, then you act on it, which is the toughest one, right?

And then you repeat it and you share it. Mm-hmm. And sharing can be just as important as all of it because that— listen, we're humans helping humans. You know, it doesn't matter race, creed, religion, politics. None of that freaking matters, guys. We're just humans helping humans and we're in this big blue dot circle in the the sun together. And if we want a better life, it's up to us. And I think that's probably the biggest thing I learned and may have always learned, but really feel like maybe we're missing a little bit in this day and age is if it's meant to be, it's up to me. And when you can't, you have to hope someone else can for you. Listen, I, when I was young, about 13, my parents divorced, which is rough for everybody. You know, that's, that's a rough time for everybody, parents and kids, obviously. And I remember thinking, man, I could use this. I could get away with whatever I want.

No, you didn't. I didn't. I'm going to play both sides. Oh yeah, baby. Isn't that funny?

You have that choice. I remember thinking very specifically, Oh, I could, but there's one person that knows I'd be lying, and that's me. But I remember the first Christmas after my parents' divorce. I mean, it was my mom, 5 kids. I mean, we didn't expect much, you know.

Yeah.

But I walked out to my mailbox to get the mail one morning, and in the mailbox was an envelope that had $1,500 of cash. And that was my community stepping up and doing when they could. So I've always said, when I can, I will. And that's just the motto I have is humans helping humans. And we never associated sleep in heavenly peace to a religion or to anything like that, not because we don't believe in that or we don't accept that or that's not important in our lives. Of course it is. Of course it is. But it's not why we do what we do, at least on a broader sense. We're here because we're humans and these are little humans. Right? And the sad thing about these little humans, unlike a lot of problems in the world, they're in this situation not because of their choices, right? Yeah. And worse yet, and they can do nothing about it. They are helpless, literally helpless. These kids, these, you know, 6— Haley's not going to build her own bed. I mean, I guess she did and it was called her school clothes. You know what I'm saying?

So, so we've got to step up and help these little kids and help Help each other out. And you know what? Service, inviting your friends to come and be a part of service. You know, we have a saying in Sleep in Heavenly Peace. You know, we build these from raw lumber. We take people that never touched a drill in their life and we teach them how to build beds. It's so awesome, right? And I was always worried, right? Because it's not necessarily easy. I mean, you're picking up wood and you're cutting it, you're moving around, it's heavy. By the end of the day, after 4 hours, I mean, you're spent. Let's put it that way. And I always was worried about my volunteers. I wanted them to come back. And so here I am running around doing the heavy lifting. And I learned a long time ago, listen, the happiest volunteer is the sweatiest and the dustiest. And the reason why is exactly what I loved about it. I got great fulfilling feelings. I felt like I actually did something and it meant something. And if I wasn't here, this wasn't going to happen and blah, blah, blah.

Why was I robbing all of the other people of that same opportunity? You know? And so I teach nonprofits. This is a gold nugget for you nonprofits out there. Your volunteer experience needs to be just as important as your mission, because that's number one who solves this problem for you, or with you rather. And you know what? They need to have this experience too. That's, that's not the only reason why they're there. But like Mike Rowe said, You know, there are, there is obviously some reasons why we go there. And if it's internal, that's okay. That's, it's not—

Yes, it's a win-win.

It's a win-win. If it gets you to come back, it helps you realize some of the problems you're dealing with in life really aren't that big of a deal, guys. You know what? And we can make it through it together. And, and, you know, those, those are all challenges that we all face. So why not want to help each other out, get through those, you know, and service does that.

Humans helping humans. It sounds so simple, but we have never been so connected but disconnected at the same time. And there is a loneliness epidemic right now. And what a great way to solve that by getting up off the couch and helping each other out. And my friends out there, might I remind you, if you need help, We always talk about in here being brave enough to ask for help because some of us are not very good at asking for, for help. Like Luke was doing everything for everybody instead of saying, hey, can you help me do this? So I totally get that. I totally get that. Edge note for you nonprofits, give your volunteers the experience that they're looking for so they keep Coming back. Luke, how can people find you? How can people get involved with this project? How can people make a difference with you?

Absolutely. Thank you for asking. So our website obviously is a good place to go, shpbeds.org. shpbeds.org. Now the cool thing about our website, you'll learn, really is a statement of what— how we view ourselves. Like, yeah, we're an international organization. Who cares? Like, big deal. What we actually look at ourselves as as communities, hundreds of communities that have come together. And when you go to your website, our website, shpbeds.org, it's not going to come up to some one big national webpage. No, no, no. What's going to come up is your closest chapter's webpage. Oh,

wow.

Because we want you to see how many kids are on their waiting list, how many beds they've built, what events that you can be a part of. You can go build beds, no experience required. You can go deliver beds. Trust me, Lisa, You walk into a room and see a Haley experience and then deliver a bed to a little Haley of your own and see her reaction, that'll change your life. You can see videos and pictures and testimonies all you want, but until you're in the room and feel the weight that gets lifted from this child— It's touching

you even now. I can see it.

Oh, I mean, how, how can you not? And so you get a— so that's the experience that you get to see and be involved in, in your own hometown. Now, if there's no chapter close by, and this is something that really, you know, pulls at you, you can start a chapter. We put on 50, 60 chapters a year. People that have never ran a nonprofit, never asked for a dime from anybody in their life, and they're super successful. They build thousands of beds for kids in their own communities. You can donate. You know, that's what— that's the other thing. I mean, this was never going to be a nonprofit. This was just going to be a family Christmas project. In fact, the first name of it wasn't Sleep in Heavenly Peace. It's sad to say it was going to be Beds for Babes. My wife said, no, it's not.

That's a smart woman. Oh yeah. That's a smart woman. In my defense— You took it in the wrong direction.

In my defense, Lisa, it sounded good up here, but the minute I said it, I'm like, Yeah, that doesn't—

I get where you were trying to go with it. I do. I get it.

Yeah, give me a little credit.

Yeah, I get where you're going.

It's a bad Google search, guys.

Don't, you know, don't worry. Well, guys, it sounds like there are so many opportunities to get involved. Just go to the website. We're gonna put a clickable link in show notes for you. You don't even have to write that down. Luke, we are a big fan of volunteering in our family. My husband and I volunteer playing music in nursing homes. I teach trauma-informed self-defense in domestic violence shelters. So guys, listen, Instead of spending hours at night just down watching TV, there's a lot of other things that you can be doing. There are people that need you. If there is a gnawing and that is your passion and you feel like something is missing, go help another human. And I love Luke's word, practice doing it, because it does, it takes daily practice. But Luke, congratulations on the past 14 years and saying the soul yes. Thank you. You had to, and I love your 4 steps and that, that 3rd one, the acting on it. And I love the repeating. I always say rinse and repeat, rinse and repeat, right? And, uh, and then share it, share it with the world, share what you're doing and get more people involved.

So, uh, congratulations on making a difference, not only in your life, your family's life, but the lives of, uh, so many other people, not only the children, but the volunteers too. Amazing work, my friend. All right, friends, we're gonna put a clickable link for you if you want to get involved. Uh, get involved. I'm telling you, volunteer somewhere. There's always another human that could use your help, no matter where you're at in life. And it will give you what Luke said, a different perspective on your own. I guaran-freaking-tee you. All right, Luke, I am not done with you yet. I have 2 more questions for you that I always ask our guests as we close out. You ready? All right, here we go.

Let's do it.

All right, we're gonna get a little real here. Here we go. All right, in your own life, Luke, what do you feel like you performed or put on the most in order to survive or just get by? And what did dropping that role, mask, or performance do for your life?

Wow, that is deep. Yeah, that's some— that's some vulnerability there, girl.

I'm asking for it. I'm asking for it. Bring it. What you got?

You know, that's it right there. You know, grew up in a small town, right? And I was the jock, right? I was the quarterback, running back. Hey, it sounds big. Trust me, it's just big fish, small pond, you know. But when you get— when you're like that, and I'll just speak for myself, you know, I always felt like being a leader, you always feel like you have to have the answers. You know, and I spent too much time— spent a lot of time wearing a mask. I spent a lot of time acting. And I didn't want to be vulnerable, right? I was the only man in my house. You know, my big brother was gone. So I had 3 sisters and my mom. I was the best-dressed kid in town, by the way. But you always had to put this front on. I always felt like I did. And unfortunately, it took me many, many, many, many years, just recently, within the last 5 years, and my experience with Sleep Anemone Peace and having to swallow a lot of pride and a lot of ego and letting go of things and identities that I had built and walls that I built around those identities for years, right?

I had to let that go and, and dive into this world called vulnerability and, and learn. It took me that long, Lisa, to learn that, oh my gosh, it's so freeing. It's so beautiful to be able to just be yourself and not, and not try to be what everybody else wants you to be, you know, and not, and not try to put on this mask of, of toughness or this mask of I know everything. I I get asked on podcasts, you know, what would you change when you were younger? What'd you go back and tell yourself? And I'd be like, I'd go back there and kick myself in the butt and say, listen, you don't know everything and that's okay. And you know what? Learn from other people. You'll learn so much faster and so much more accurate. You know, you'll be so much further ahead if you just shut up and listen to people, you know, and, and then that's it. You know, yeah, I just, um, I hope I have enough life left that I'm on this last— well, maybe not last, but certainly third leg of my life— that I'm not going to act anymore.

I'm just going to be me, you know, and I hope it's enough for people, and sometimes it won't be, and that's okay. You know, I've got my family, I've got my friends, my close friends, and my wife, who's my rock, and And I don't want to say that's all I need, but if that's all I got, then I'm doing pretty good.

So, thank you, my friend. All right, last question, and it's not as deep as the last one, but it's just as important. What do you want us as human beings to be having more conversations about? What should we be talking about that we're not?

That's a great question. You know, there's a lot of A lot of problems I think that we can solve by ourselves if we just, if we just take on responsibility and learn how to do that, you know. And that's hard. I think probably my answer to that is, is, again, I hate to beat the dead horse, but learn how to help people. You know, it's hard to take on responsibility. It's hard to face responsibility or even mistakes. It's hard, guys. And we all do it. Right. You know, and you know what? Why not be that pillar for someone who is going through a hard time? You know, it's, it's so easy to be someone's friend when they don't need you or when they're going through a hard time. Right. Or they're, you know, some— they've done something really horrible. It's really easy to be a friend when they haven't. It's really hard, but most important to be a friend when they, when they are going through that time and they are struggling. You know, and because you will too. We all will. We all have and will continue. So why not, you know, talk about how we can help other people out and, and pull down that pride that we have and realize that, you know what, we don't have long on this earth.

We're not going to be here very long. You know, why make— why not make the best of it together? You know, and I guess, yeah, I guess we, we could talk to each other more about how we can help each other. So

yeah, thank you, Luke. That reminds me, I have a friend to call. All right, friends out there, I'm gonna ask you the same question. What are you performing in order to survive or just get by? And what do you think setting down your role, mask, or performance will do to lighten your load just a little bit? I'm your host, Lisa Lacey, here with our special guest Luke Mickelson.

And when you find the answer to that, we will both see you at the edge. Thank you, Luke.

Thank you.