Transcript of The Book Was Never Just the Book: Turning Your Story into Legacy with Missy Maxwell Worton New

Hey, hey friends, welcome back to an episode of Notes from the Edge. I am your host Lisa Lacey, and this is where we have the conversations we should have been having all along. You ain't talking about it, but we're gonna. And today I'm so excited to have my special guest Missy Maxwell Wharton. Missy is an award-winning author, speaker, publishing strategist, author coach, Founder of Light Warrior Publishing as well as Double Edge Seven Publishing and Warrior Writers Development Program. She also happens to be my publisher. That's why I'm so excited to have her because she helps purpose-driven leaders, entrepreneurs, ministry leaders, and aspiring authors transform their life experiences, expertise, and God-given messages into impactful books that that build legacy, expand influence, and create meaningful change. Through her publishing and coaching work, she has helped hundreds of aspiring authors take an idea all the way into a published book. Guys, she helps you from your God-given idea, because if it's still gnawing at you, there's a reason, and we're going to talk about that today. But she helps you publish, launch, market, write your book, She's had many Amazon number one bestsellers, including my own book was a number one new release for 2 months because of her work.

Her guidance extends beyond just manuscript into platform development, personal branding, audience growth, book launch strategy, and creation of your message and movement. Her own publishing journey started with her deeply personal book, Don't Mess with Mama: Risking It All to Rescue Our Daughter, which became a number one Amazon bestseller and has won many literary awards. Before publishing, we're going to talk about that. Missy, so much to say about you. Welcome to Notes from the Edge. How are you today, my friend?

So good to be here.

I just love hanging with you. I mean, we could talk for hours.

We could talk for hours.

Well, Missy, let's talk about— normally we talk about the how your journey ended up here. So your publishing journey began with your own very intense personal story. So kind of walk us through the beginning of your own journey.

Well, my own journey actually started with, um, somebody telling me— it was an 8th grade teacher telling me that I should never be an author. And, um, and I took that for 30 years, and I decided, well, I can't be an author because I have, in her words, a atrocious grammar, and, um, and I still might have atrocious grammar. Y'all might catch it. Um, but one of the things that I busted through after we rescued our— my debut book was actually, um, was written after we boarded the last flight out of Dulles International to rescue our, our 6-year-old adopted daughter from going into slavery. So we went through a lot, and we had to go into hiding, all of that good stuff. But when I came back You know, movie producers wanted first dibs on it, and all I could think is, I can't write a book. But they needed me to write the book, and so that's how I ended up writing my first book after I'd already been in film and television for about 30 years, um, writing for, for screenplays. And, um, once I did, it just started blowing up, and people started coming to me and saying, hey, I feel like I got a book inside of me, um, need a little help here, don't know what to do next.

And so at first I meet with them over coffee and quickly saw this is not going to work. I need more time.

We need more time. Yeah. And so— I'm sure it's time. Yeah. And that's it.

And we just gave it— I started meeting with people over Zoom. I have people from Canada, England, all over America, and we meet on Monday and Thursdays and We give writing prompts. I give feedback on what they've written. I have other award-winning authors now. I've been doing this for 4 years. And when I saw that they were getting— I don't know if the word is gouged, but I was helping them write this amazing book, and then they go to a publisher and spend $25,000 to get published. And I was like, I know what it costs to do this. So I contacted some editors, some formatters, individuals who are good proofreaders, graphic designer.

Great team.

Yes, I have an amazing team. I'm so thankful for the ladies and women that work with me. But, um, and we started publishing books, uh, 18 months ago. We've published 30.

Uh, wow, congrats!

Thank you.

That's a chunk of books. It's amazing.

And I mean, alone this, uh, next month we have 5 being published in August.

Oh my gosh, that's exciting. That's exciting.

Well, Missy, I don't want to gloss over something because I think this is where you actually can— you do help people the most. We're going to circle back to that 8th grade teacher who told you you couldn't do this. Yeah. So how did you get over that hump? Because I know you walk people who get stuck, right, over that hump? What, what was it? Just, I gotta do this, or was it a forget her, or walk us through that?

How did you break through it? Let me just tell you right now, the first step was forgiving her.

Once I—

I gotta get her.

She is living in my brain rent-free. She's out.

She's gone. Yeah, for 3 decades.

Um, I mean, we came back from Ethiopia after, you know, hiding out, rescuing, being up against this corrupt government official. And, um, one of the producers, uh, he said, I want you to write the book. And I immediately said, I don't write books. And he looked at me like, what the heck, you write movies. And he turned his head and he said, who told you that you couldn't write? And that's when I brought out my flamethrower and headed it right at— pointed it right at my 8th grade creative writing teacher. And, um, he stopped me. He said, that is We have— that's why we have editors.

Grammar has nothing to do— yeah, that was it. And he goes, that's, that's it.

It has nothing to do with your ability to, to write a great story, Missy. We'll find an editor. You just write.

And I love it. And that's what you do for your authors.

Yeah. And it was that moment that I was like, oh wait, why didn't I think about that? My grammar has— why didn't I think about editors? They're part of the team, and you have amazing editors on your team.

So, but you say often that writing a book is not about becoming an author, it's about becoming a voice that transforms lives. So how can someone tell the difference between wanting to publish a book and that gnawing message where they know It has to be heard. Like my memoir, Notes from a Certified Madwoman. After being hospitalized and then turning 50, I was like, I gotta tell this story. I gotta. I can't leave with it. So what if for our listeners today that are sitting there with that story in them, what can you say to them?

Well, I mean, your story does matter. And first of all, get all the authority bias out. Which is somebody saying you can't do it, like me. Um, you know what happened to me. But the first thing I ask authors is, why do you need to write this book? Why is the passion there? Because we need to get to what your passion is in order to make it where you won't give up on it. Because writing a book is no easy feat, as you know, um, especially if you dig deep and try to find revelation for your readers. Because readers are looking for authenticity, they're looking for vulnerability, and they're looking for a new revelation to give them answers. I'm, I'm gonna say this, I might be in trouble, but AI cannot write your memoir. It cannot dive deep. Now, it can structure your memoir really well, but you have to have the words that you emotionally felt and had impact in your life and helped you heal. So the message, um, first get your why and then know who you're writing this book to, because nobody is writing a book that millions and millions, the whole world is reading needs.

That's a good point. Know your audience. Yeah, that's right. I know your audience, know your niche, know your message.

And I always tell everybody, write to the audience of one. One, just one person, your audience. And they're sitting right across from you. They're a best friend. You're having coffee or tea, whatever you want to have, and you're telling them your story. That way it's going to come out authentic and vulnerable. And it's going to be truth because you love your friends. You're going to say everything truth and you're not going to hold back. Um, so, but the first thing too that I want to say is the first person transformed, um, by your book is you.

It's—

it is when you go in and you do the hard work, you do the healing, you do the forgiveness. Because just like me, I had to forgive first because every time I sat down to write, I heard my 8th grade teacher say You can't be an author. You have horrible grammar. People will laugh at you. I would hear that, and so finally I had to shut that down. So shut down the negative words that are coming at you. But the way to do that is just forgive them and say, you know what, I don't need your opinions.

I'm gonna do it anyway. Yeah, I'm gonna do it anyway.

The one thing about, you know, because I speak on authority bias, the one thing about it is when you believe something that an authority figure says to you You believe it wholeheartedly. And authority figures are teachers, they're coaches, they're parents, uh, they can be pastors. They— I mean, we can go down the line, but you believe 100% what they say is truth rather than just another man's opinion or a woman's opinion. So when we recognize that some really ugly words have been said about what we can or cannot do, and we see it as, well, that's their opinion, They may just not like me because I have blonde hair. They may not like me because I'm short, you know, or I remind them of their ex-wife.

Who knows? Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. We look— I've had that before. I'm like, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

I, I have been known to remind people of certain people they don't like.

I, you know, it happens, it happens.

But I love that forgiveness first.

That's key.

Because, well, and you, you brought up an excellent point too. There is a— well, especially for something like a memoir, there is a— it's a personal excavation that's required. Like, you gotta, you gotta, yes, know your why, um, know that there's no way you're getting out without getting the story out, right? You have to do it. There needs to be a have-to. So I absolutely love all of that. But yeah, friends, it, it does And you have to be willing to have the story that you're willing to be married to for a while because it is a process, right? So talk to us about that, the, the, that it is a process, not just a one-time I'm done event. You're revisiting and you're revisiting and then you're digging deeper and then you're adding more or taking stuff away. So talk to us about the the process and how you need to really be married to your story for a little while.

You really do. And let's just say what happens first. We're talking about the forgiveness because that is so key. That forgiveness isn't for them. That is for you. So you can move them out of the space in your mindset that they've been living rent-free. And but the next thing that when you sit down and you decide Um, okay, that you would, you would ask one specific question. What was that?

The process did marry to marry to your story.

So as I said before, the whole transformation, the first part of transformation is you. So you took back the pen to your life by forgiving that, that person. Now you have the pen to your story. You write your own future. But then when you, when you write your own future you now have that strong, powerful place of sitting in a place of authority to helping others, you know, to transform generations. And when you transform generations, this is when you start transforming the culture around you. So you have to start with that, then why and your audience, but then the key ingredient here is what is your message going to be? Now your message can be already out there, but it's going to be with your frosting on it.

Like, I like that.

That's good to let people know it doesn't have to be like so novel that it never existed, because that doesn't exist. Everything exists, right?

Yeah, every— everything is, is new, but it's told from your, your perspective. And what I tell my authors is somebody might not be able to to relate to Mel or to relate to Tony Robbins or relate to them, but they relate to you for some reason because your story resembles theirs and they can connect with you when you're authentic and when you're vulnerable because that's when the true story comes out. And I think that is the journey of writing the story is where you're going to find a deeper message than you ever knew you had because you go deep. When you go deep, suddenly you recognize Wait, this has been happening since I was a child.

I know, girl. I have to write and then go like sleep half the day because I was like processing some heavy stuff. Yeah. Wow, this is taking a lot out of me. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's a healing journey.

I mean, because let's admit, you're gonna, you're gonna fight with some shadows.

You're gonna go, I'm not facing that.

I don't want to.

I've buried that for 20 years.

But yeah, or write the first thing and it's light because you didn't really go there.

And then you go back and you're like, ah, I was holding back.

Because your readers will know if you're holding back, right? They want, they want the raw part of yours, the real—

they know when a part of your story is missing. They're like, hmm, their readers are smart. They're very smart.

Yeah, yeah. And assume that they're smart and you don't have to over-explain to them. So you have helped hundreds and hundreds of people I love this, the fact that you have the ability to take a human being with a message from their idea all the way to a published book. I don't even think that exists in many places. So what separates authors who finish, actually finish the process and successfully launch their books from those who stay stuck in, in perfectionism or fear or, or just stuckness in general, or writer's block, or whatever's, whatever's coming up for them? What separates the people who get to completion as opposed to the people who stay stuck?

Wow, that, that's a good question because, um, I always tell my authors perfectionism is your enemy. It is absolutely your enemy because imperfection is where the perfection lies, because that means there's authenticity. Again, going back to vulnerability, and nobody— if you notice people don't relate to perfect individuals. I mean, they are the most boring characters in a movie, in a book.

You're like, okay, oh wait a minute, oh, I forgot about that character. You know what I really liked? I really liked when the antagonist just lost it and suddenly he's a nice guy. Something broke within him.

That is the beauty of stories, is being willing to face how maybe— I don't know if the right word is broken or messed up. I mean, how—

humanness. It's our humanness.

All the mistakes, all the mess that we made, and allowing people to see the transformation. Where a lot of people stop in writing is they want it perfect. They don't want to share their flaws. And that— let me just tell you right now, perfect people are boring.

We want the mess. Give us the mess. We want the mess. We want people relate to, right? Because we're all a bunch of hot messes, let's be honest. It's so funny how you're a hot mess.

I'm a hot mess most mornings. I'm hot mess. But I will, I will say perfectionism absolutely will steal your destiny because you try to make it perfect, you try to keep out the bad stuff In my book, I'm writing it and I'm like, I'm determined to keep my authenticity in this. And there was some ugly moments. And here I am, you know, I, I'm a faith— I'm, I believe in God. And I was believing God in this situation where we could have gone to a third world prison. We're, you know, rescuing our daughter. My husband hacked me off because he's the reason we're stuck there. But there was a bigger plan that I did not see. All I knew is I wanted to fly out of Ethiopia as fast.

You were scared, I'm sure.

I was nervous. So he made the choice not to, and, um, because of something small like finances, um, but you were like, oh, I don't like this. So I'm mad, and I share how angry I was and that how I did want to— we had just driven up a big hill, and I was ready to push him back down it.

And I was hacked off.

I didn't want to talk to him. I said some ugly things, and I'm like, I'm just gonna leave it in here. Do you know that everybody who reads my book is like, thank you, thank you that you weren't perfect, thank you that you weren't Christian, thank you that you were just mad at your husband? Because most of us walk around mad.

I killed Brody's plants in menopause. Yep, I killed the plants. I made him cry. It was like, Lisa, I've apologized, but I was mad. I was like, people want to see that. Yes, authenticity. And so, you know, I, I have had some men go, dude, man, it's a good thing they love us so much, right? It's a good thing.

Thank God for our good men behind us.

I'm just saying.

But that That, that book, I will say there's not a perfect book out there, not a single one. Even with my book, it has received, you know, it surprised me too, but it received over 17 literary awards, and I still find glitches. I still find mistakes.

I'm like, oh, oh wow, okay, yeah.

But perfection is in the imperfection. It's what did I make them feel in what I wrote, and that's the biggest thing. What are you going to make people feel? I made more people feel like they were normal by how I, I was angry at my husband. I mean, yeah, yeah, I'm mostly talking to women that they, they're good women, but they got mad at their husband. And so, yeah, so that's what's— I made it relatable.

I kept friends— put, put that you killed the plants in there, right?

But did you want to roll down the hill? We, we need to see that too. We need to be reminded that we're normal too, guys. If you were to slip out, don't leave the truth out, because again, people will know, and you'll know, you know.

You're missing out by not—

by not being who you really are in it. Yeah, yeah, in your own story.

And people are so done with fake.

They're done.

I think so too. I think so too. We're so tired of being fed the veneer, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We're— people see through it. I just— I don't know if our intuition has just sparked to a new level.

Um, I think it's just our awareness, our consciousness, or we're just— yeah. And we're so— there's a lot going on, you know, since the pandemic. We've all been stressed out, and we just— we just want to know that we're normal and see the realness. So Okay, many authors believe that the difficult part ends once the manuscript is written. So where is the misunderstanding there? Because it doesn't end once you're done. And what's beautiful about the, the, what you provide to people is you hold their hand during the entire process. So tell us about the process that once the book is it's done, which you help people get to, from idea, right, to finished book, published. And then what, what happens next?

Well, let me just start this by saying writing your book is where you heal and where your message gets solidified, which your message is going to now be on every podcast, TV show, magazine, all of those things. So that's where you're going to find it. So that's why I'm saying don't skip any part of your book. Some people are not going to write your book in 90 days. It's going to take years to write it because you're digging deeper, and it's okay. I just want to say it's okay to do that. Um, launching and getting your book to the audience is where the success actually is, because you don't go through all this— most of us, it's hard to finish a book because we get tired of it. Um, um, but your why, your message, and your audience— but Your words are going to be— your words and your actions of getting this book out could be what inspire others to their purpose and calling. So that's why we do so, so much work in the writing. But in the launching, you have to be ready to speak to your message of what you've walked through.

You don't want somebody else's message. It has to come from what you walk through. People will see that when you're talking about somebody else's message. They can spot that you're not being authentic to what you just said.

Oh, people, if you're in front of them, absolutely. Yeah, absolutely.

By all means, do not lie, do not make up things, but speak truth to what you've walked through and be ready to answer those questions that— because people read your book to find an answer of how they're going to get through it. And we wrote the book to bring our readers, our audience We want to see them heal. We want to see them have new revelations of how they can be the, the highest form of who they're supposed to be, how they can dismantle the false narrative that they have been leaving in their life. And you come along with this revelation, but not only that, you have lived part of their story. They relate to part of your story and they see themselves in your story. Yeah, yeah, and that's your audience. Your audience is you 20, 30 years ago if, if your main trauma happened in that time. And so we want to see people healed from their trauma, and a lot of people are going to find their trauma in yours. They're, they're going to go, that happened to me and I did not even recognize it. So, um, so that is, you know, as far as people finishing their book, yeah, it's tough, but if you have your why And you—

and listen, that's what you go to on the hard days. You go back to your purpose, your why. Yes.

And what I tell every single author I work with, have a, you know, get a 5x7 card and write, here's the reason why I keep writing, here's why I get up at 4 in the morning to write, because that was the only time I could write because I had 4 kids. And so number 1, I wrote the reason I saw the orphans that were, um, being held back and being trafficked. I saw them, and I'm like, I've got to bring awareness and hope to this. I have got to do something. And my voice, through writing and through being on podcasts, my voice became the awareness factor. Now, I also work with rescue missions. Now, that's one of the things I do. I work with people who go in Uh, use Navy SEALs, uh, you know, and go in and rescue these little girls and little boys. Sadly, it's, it's everybody. So that was my number one reason. I kept seeing the faces of all these sweet little orphans that had nothing but joy, you know. They want to live, and they didn't recognize that their life was really bad. And, um, but then I'd see the older ones and you could see that reality had done a number on them.

And so I didn't want to see that. And, and I know we live in a world where we're going to, but let's make a difference. And that's— you have to know your why. And the other thing was, uh, I wanted people to know that we still can have a belief system in a God who will rescue us, and he came through for us. And so, um, and yes, sometimes it doesn't come through, but there's always a reason, and hindsight always tells you why.

Yeah, you just gotta wait for it. Sometimes it comes in 30 days, sometimes it doesn't come till 5 years, but there's no right—

yeah, yeah. And you know, you know, going back to my husband, me being so mad at my husband, if my husband hadn't made that choice, my book would have not been the book it is. And, um, my journey would not have been— I had to learn more. I had to learn how to choose love over fear every single day because we're— we were put smack dab in the middle of radical. And when I say radical, I mean radical Islam, um, is where we were hiding out in a Christian, um, academy.

That's where we were.

So I had to face every fear a mom could possibly have, losing my daughter, um, you know what That the fun— it's not funny, but now I look back and I'm like, I was set up.

Um, but well, what I love about hindsight too is you can find a little dark humor in those really heavy—

yes, yes, I was set up. The, um, Benghazi had just taken place, you know.

So what happened there in a—

they're in an area that has barbed wire around and all outside them there's riots and everything. I'm like, Okay, and I'm sitting in the same situation, November 2012.

So I'm like, this is just a little too close.

Wow.

What are we trying to develop? What are we trying to get rid of in my fear factor area?

So I love that you bring up love and fear because the opposite of love is fear, actually, right? It is. So you do have to get at— in order to bring your message to life, to become legacy, an impact, which we'll talk about in a minute, you, you have to fight through that fear every day, every day, right? And, and turn it into love for yourself first, love for the people that you're forgiving, and, and love for your audience that you're going to help and plant seeds for. And what I loved about what you brought up earlier is Mel Robbins may not say it the right way, Tony, or Mel, Mel may not, Tony may not, but you may say it where it finally clicks for someone. That's the beauty of writing too.

Yeah, yeah.

You may be the one where they've been told it 15 times, the same thing, but you say it in a way where it finally clicks for them. Oh, I'm getting chills. Such an important message to remember how important— we can feel like we're nobody, right? I'm nobody. How am I ever going to get a message out there? Doesn't matter.

It doesn't matter. And in our message, our voice, our— even our writing has a frequency. And frequency is huge because our frequency will hit somebody and it'll spark something within their very heart, their soul. And then suddenly that message can come through and it hits— once it hits the heart, it hits the mind, and we now have You know, we now have people who, oh, have that what we call the aha moment. How didn't I not see it? It was like me having my aha moment, you know, that you can use an editor. It's like, why didn't I think of that?

It's always like, what, what, what, what just happened to my brain?

Well, what I love that you do too is once the manuscript is done and the book is finished and it comes time for public, you help people because of your your entertainment industry experience, you help people get exposure too. So kind of talk about that. Like, you are set up to, again, not only help the author start idea, you walk them, hold them hand as they're writing the book, get them unstuck, but then you put them on platforms for visibility.

Yeah, that is huge because how is your audience going to find you? They're, they're not Listen, there's, I think, over 150,000 books uploaded to Amazon every day. Um, so them trying to find you is like finding a needle in a haystack. So you have to go out there. So people, if they hear you on a podcast, they see you on a TV show, they hear you on radio, or they read something about you in a magazine— and here's the other thing, social media, it is the biggest platform platform we have. Um, but how are— you know, you worked really hard on this book. Now you've got to get it in front of the people who need it. And that's where developing your message— know what your message is— and that's where writing comes in. But, but one of the first things we do is we sit down. In fact, this week I've been working with a lot of individuals as far as getting, um, getting their social media ready. Here's the steps we need to go. You need to hit social media hard a month before your book releases. People want to know, and people want to help you pick your book cover.

They want to help you pick your, your title if, if you're having a hard time with that. Involve your audience. Social media—

oh, I love that!

Involve them in the process.

I'm coming along with you. Tell them you're having a writer's block day, right? Yes. I love that. I love seeing authors on TikTok going, okay guys, I'm having a really hard time writing today, don't know what I'm doing, I think I'll just go watch some K-dramas, you know, get some inspiration. It's a Netflix binge day. Yes, yes, Netflix, here we go.

But the beauty is, is that when, when you start— what we did is for— we have a faith a side that we publish faith books, um, that— and but then we have a positive, you know, you just have a positive message the world needs. You don't involve everything, you don't involve scripture and all that stuff, you just have a positive message. So that's where Double Edge comes in. And then we have Light Warriors over here.

But lovely you have both publishing companies.

And that's a lot, girl. Oh my God, you got so much going on. Yeah.

Because I have some people that they're just like, that's just not my audience. And I'm like, we need to go with your audience. So we find their audience, we find the podcast, we find the TV shows, we find all of, all of the things that where they need to go. One of the things that we have is we have two magazines that love for the ladies that I work with to write, um, to write magazine articles, monthly magazine articles. Yeah, that, and they give us a subject Um, and then we have the other thing that we do is yearly we go to a national— for our, um, you know, ours that have a faith base or a faith undertone, we go to what's called NRB and, um, introduce them to podcasts, TV shows, you name it, radio shows.

So much exposure. So much exposure.

I love it.

We prepare them because you've—

we've got us—

we've got a speaking coach that works with everyone who we work with because they need to know how to speak on podcasts. In fact, Lisa helps, you know, how do you speak, how do you speak to your message, because you want to be able to answer when somebody says, tell us what your message is, tell us what your book's about, and you don't want to sit there and go, well, well, and a lot of authors and writers are a little introverted, so I love the fact that you provide that coaching as well.

You know, yeah, we need that. We need that little boost. We need a little cheerleading, you know. So, um, yeah, and it does— what's up?

I'll just say it doesn't stop. Yeah, it doesn't stop after, you know, 6 months after you've released your book.

That's where the strongest push is, but I'm still doing podcasts and TV shows 6 years after I, I launched my book.

That's amazing. Congratulations, Missy, that's amazing.

Yeah, beauty is, is that you've got something to say and there's an audience that needs to hear it. So never be shy and never think, oh, I don't want to put myself out there. You're not putting yourself, you're putting your message out there that will change lives. It's going to heal people, it's going to transform people. Like I said earlier, it's going to be the action and the words that you say are going to be what inspires someone to go after their very purpose and the calling that they're supposed to do while they're on this planet.

They're just trying to do it.

Yeah, so I interrupted you, but I don't know, it's your podcast.

No, this is your show.

This is your show. So, um, how do you help— this is a good one too— how do you help authors kind of honor the difficult parts as you're walking them through in the program, in the writing process. How do you walk them through some of those difficult parts that maybe they're scared to excavate or dig into? Kind of what's your process for that, for holding their hand as they're getting through some of those difficult parts that may actually be preventing somebody today from actually writing?

Wow.

Okay, so this is, this is where Um, now we do have a, a coach even that when people have writer's block, um, most likely it is coming from a trauma and they don't want to expose something, don't want to expose someone. They're afraid if they expose someone that that person will come and harm them. Um, there's some real, you know, scary things out there. With us, we had we had some very corrupt government officials that were after us to put us in a third world prison. So there was fear in— as I was writing the book that I had to constantly put down. But with traumas, let's just talk about traumas.

Because yeah, you're talking about trauma all the time.

I will say every single one of my authors I've worked with has a trauma that they have dealt with. And that trauma is, is not there to define them, but it's there to, you know, they look at it and they— the problem is they've let it define them. And what writing their story has done has shown them that they're no, they're not the victim. That's the problem over there, the one that delivered the trauma. It's gonna be a problem if I keep holding on to it. And, and they heal from the trauma. They see the other person as who they are They get— they forgive so that they're not living in reiki. Um, but the whole thing is, is with writing a trauma, um, there is such a thing as writing or even doing— I knew this with film and television, some of the scenes we would do, we would have to be a little careful because it is real. Uh, secondhand trauma is a very real thing, and people watching a movie, um, watching an abusive situation like a rape, for instance, that can trigger people into having a secondhand trauma. Um, so we have to be careful with people's pain.

We have to be— we write into our pain. But here, let me just set it up.

I—

one of my individuals, she had a brutal rape. We wrote her scene all the way up to where she was cornered. And what was going through her mind. Then we dropped it, took it to another scene somewhere else, and then we brought her back in as she was— she woke up in a hospital bed not knowing anything. And then she starts remembering that they had been approached. But the real story was, was she going to be the victim? Yes, she was definitely a victim here, but was she going to allow what they did to her define who she became in life. Um, because this was a pretty severe, um, to where she was young and, uh, had never been with anybody. And so they took a lot from her. And she was a, you know, beautiful young woman, and she had that choice of, am I going to be defined? She got pregnant for it. Was this child going to be defined as, you know, who who they were. So instead of focusing on that, we focused on how she battled through, um, defining herself not because of somebody's— somebody else's sickness, somebody else's, um, who they were and the— what they had decided to do out of—

well, and you holding her hand, walking her through, this is how we're gonna take this, right? Um, one had to be a catharsis, but two, we get out of victim mentality. Because, guys, the healing does not happen in victim mentality. It is part of the process to go, oh my gosh, I was a victim. Yes. But if you stay there, you're going to stay stuck. And so writing this, right, and having the support, having you hold their hand, go, all right, this is how we can do this and structure it in a way that's going to be safe. Right, and feel safe for you is such a catharsis. And it is motivation, and it is inspiration for other people who have experienced those things to not give up hope, because hope can keep us going on some really dark days. Oh my gosh. Yeah, the hope.

The beauty is, is, is how we bring hope is— let's be honest, most of us, instead of responding correctly to a trauma or something bad happening to us, we react, which makes it even harder. And so the story is in— yeah, that happened, she reacted negatively for years, and then she started redefining her life based on what she wanted to be known for, and that was just something that happened to her, but it defined her. So helping through the protagonist, usually the protagonist is the main character, they're the hero character, most likely in a memoir. It's, it's the person's story that is the protagonist. So it's how they respond, how they, how they correct, how they react, it's how they grow, how they expand, or how they move through, right?

Move through, guys, not get stuck there. So yes, okay, so your work is rooted in faith, purpose, and belief that stories— this is the biggest thing about you, Missy, and I think, I think so many writing coaches and I think publishers certainly do not feel this way or support their authors the way that you do, but you believe that stories are instruments for impact. So talk to me about your philosophy, about your whole publishing, both publishing sides, and the whole purpose of what it is that you're doing, because it doesn't really exist in other places, I don't think. I, at least when I was shopping around, I couldn't find it.

So no, we really care about what kind of book, um, a person is going to put out. Because we know that, that deep inside— and that's why my first interview with people, I really want to go deep and go, why? And what is this about? Now, there's some people that come to me and their books, I know immediately, oh yeah, this is— this needs to be out there. This is going to help people heal, and transformation is going to come. So that is our deepest thing.

If somebody's just writing a book to get rich or famous Yeah, guys, not gonna happen. There are not— if that's your incentive, yeah.

But there are 19 streams of income that can come from your book. There, just know there's 19.

Hello.

Okay, but it is the first thing you do. So the— if it's the first thing, that means it's foundational. So that means everything has to be intact. The message has to be intact. You have to have a a problem, then now you have the promise delivered to your reader. Readers are reading because they're trying to find answers, revelation. They're trying to find healing, even if it's just— even if it's a non-fiction book, they're trying to learn something. They want to finish your book, put it down, and rise up seeing the world reflective, right?

Be in a reflective state about their own lives. Lives, right? Yeah, I don't think—

yes, we read to expand. We want to expand our mind. We want to expand our, our world. We read to expand. We read to get better. We want to be a better person.

There's—

I hardly know any— well, other than my teenagers who don't want to, you know, be better. My teenagers now want to be better, but my daughter's 24.

She's is now getting there. I'm like, sweetie, you gotta start taking care of yourself. Mama can't be solving all those problems. I was like, I thought I was done at 18 when she moved out. That was not the case. No, yeah, I know.

My daughter used to make fun of me. Why do we have to eat organic?

Why do you have to buy at farmer's market? You know? And I'm like, just wait, just wait. You're gonna feel better now.

Everything's organic.

Yeah, everything. Yeah, with mine, it's— she'll come up with an idea and I'm like, I've been planning that in your head for 2 years. And she's like, Mom, I got such a great idea. And she'll tell me and I'm just like, oh honey, that's a really bad idea. Great idea! Where did you hear that? Just wondering. Just wondering. Oh my gosh, Missy, okay, you and I could talk for hours.

I know Listen, I, I want anybody out there that has an idea that they feel like needs to get out into the world contact you. How can people contact you?

Well, they can go to my website, missymaxwellwharton.com, and, um, there is a section on there where you can book a call with me. So just, um, look on—

easy peasy, guys, you don't have to write it down. We'll put the link directly in here. You can click directly on the link. And Missy is so down to earth. And will be, uh, honest and open and hold your hand through start to finish the whole process. And guys, honestly, it doesn't really exist out there right now. So congratulations, Missy, you have created something that, uh, has helped so many of us, uh, continue to fulfill our missions here. And you're doing such important work. So, um, thank you, thank you for me and from the people out into the world that are receiving these messages and changing their lives because of these messages. And again, hope is what we cling to on the really dark days. And I think you have authors that offer that to us. So thank you for the work that you're doing. All right. We always close out with two questions. You ready for them?

Yes, I'm ready. I'm ready.

All right. All right. Own life, what did you perform in order to survive, and what did dropping that role, mask, or performance do for you, or how did it improve your life?

Ah, oh, well, I was raised with 3 older brothers, so, um, I had to eat fast.

But, um, Brody eats fast. I'm like, what are you doing?

I think what I did, I was so quiet. I was a wallflower because I was told so much, not by my parents. I was just told to sit down and be quiet. Being raised, again, not by my parents, others would say to me, authority figures, Missy, girls don't speak. Missy, just sit down. Nobody wants to hear what you have to say. And I recognize they Finally, I recognized my voice carried power.

Um, and then that's a big revelation.

Yeah. And when I recognized that I was— well-meaning people that valued the male rather than the female. And, and I'm, I'm actually talking about the church. Um, the church was saying it was the men lead, women sit down. And so I've come out of that belief, obviously.

Obviously.

We see you now, Sister. I'm not in any shell anymore. No, no, no, no, no. That's hilarious.

I used to have to tiptoe through my house because my dad didn't like kids, so I was a quiet kid too.

Amazing how we came out of our shell. I love it. Well, what did that do for your life?

Like, using your voice because you recognized in the individual power of your one voice? Yeah.

What it did, I had to look at what I said because with our words, they create power. And so, I mean, we have so much power in words. I started, I started researching frequency and the frequency of words, different things like that. And I recognize there are words we can put out there that can absolutely demolish and destroy people and can destroy us if— because we hear the most of what we what we think, um, but how we speak to our children. I mean, that was one of the things when my kids would mess up, I would be like, okay, this is not them, so how do I call forth what I want to see in them? And, you know, I had one that just did not know how to not tell a lie.

I mean, it would be like, no, the sky is black.

It's not It's not blue today. Um, but I mean, and I would just say, okay, you know, your mouth is— you are going to be such a strong speaker, and you're going to say things that people, their lives are going to change, and you're going to bring healing because of what you said. They're going— their eyes are going to be open. And they'd look at me kind of like, you know, teenagers. All my kids thought I was crazy until they got into it.

There's always an until moment.

Yeah, because now I'm getting their mama eyes I see.

Yeah, so just the power of words. And so I started really watching what I would post, really watch what I would say to my kids, really watch what I would say to my husband. And that was one of the things that was so revealing to me, is that when I was in the place of fear, I let loose of things that I normally would rethink. I was reactive instead of responsive.

And so I'm coming from love, because love is actually our natural state being.

Yeah, and love is one of the highest frequencies we can have. Authenticity is even higher than love.

So yeah, again, girl, authenticity is even higher than love.

It is 400 times as high as love. The frequency of love is 528, um, um, hertz. But, um, the frequency of, of authenticity is off the charts. So when you love someone authentically— and that's why you write, because you love and you want to help others heal. And that's one of the things I learned. I learned that my words heal and my writing heals. And so when I delivered it in love and authenticity, then it hits people's heart. It opened their hearts. And once you can open someone's heart, you can get to the the wounded places and really bring revelation and healing to others. And but I first had to heal and have revelation for myself. And my, my husband, everything he did, um, my— I married the right man because he allowed me grieving of my past. He allowed me to face the ugly of my past and realize that, you know, it's, it's okay that I went through that because Um, I went through it because I was taught that way. I was taught that way. Um, and I had to—

conditioned.

Yeah, I was conditioned. I was programmed to believe certain things. If somebody voted for this way, that meant, you know, they couldn't be a friend. No, no, I love everyone. I don't care who you vote. I don't care what you've done in life. I love you. I know your life is, is a journey, and you're at a certain place in your journey that maybe I was 20 years ago, but you're coming to where I am.

Right on, sister, right on. Well, last question, all right? What do you think or wish we were having more conversations about? What do we need to be talking about more right now?

Ah, that's a good one. Um, I do think we do need to talk more about people, um, deprogrammed. Well, let's just put it this way: the mess we're in in our nation and across the world is because other people have programmed us to believe the way they need us to believe so we are controllable. And I think if we dismantle the false narrative and start looking at humans as they're our brothers and our sisters We're all one. It doesn't matter your pigment.

You're one.

Yeah, it doesn't matter your pigmentation, doesn't matter your religion, it doesn't— we need to love above all, and we can't love other people when we're sitting there judging them. And, um, I think we need to talk more about how do we love well, how do we love people who are in bad— in a bad place, how do we love them into a place that's good. And a lot of stuff you have to overlook is that they're angry and, and they're mad and they're hurt and they're very afraid. And those are all low frequencies that land underneath 15 Hz, which, um, that is low. That's low. And you have to be above 100 Hz to maintain a health. So once you fall below 100 Hz, you are now in an area where it is prime for creating dis-ease, disease, disease, and sickness. So if you want to live a long, healthy life, focus on love, kindness, authenticity, and just loving other people. Be kind. Um, you don't have to be mean to people. You don't have to blow up at people just because they don't understand your situation. Yeah, we don't know what people have been through in the grocery line.

You don't, you don't know what shoulders of the previous selves they're standing on. You don't. You don't. So I love that focus on just simply loving one another and our words. And you can help with that. So, friends, if you have a message that's been gnawing at you, I'm telling you, that is not accidental. I promise you, it has been placed there by the divine.

Yes. Right.

And Missy will tell you it's been placed there by God. And it's not accidental, and it's meant to be told. So if you're feeling super stuck, reach out to Missy. And as always, I'm going to ask you guys the same question I asked Missy. Consider what have you performed in order to survive, and what might dropping that role mask or performance do for your own life? I'm your host, Lisa Lacey. This has been our guest, Missy Maxwell Wharton. And when you answer that question, we will see you at the edge. Missy, thank you so much.

Thank you.

Mwah! Mwah!

So much.