Transcript of The Riff-Off Live: Wednesday, January 28th, 2026

Good morning, girlies. It's The Toast.

It's Jackson Claude, and we're your hosts.

It's your favorite show, the fast five things you need to know.

We'll start your day off swirly, it's The Toast. They sound amazing.

Welcome back to The Toast, and happy Tuesday. Ryan Loctee was on season one of Traitors. Thank you.

Star, it's Wednesday.

So sorry about that. Not me accurately predicting who would make a good Traitor's cast, and lo and behold, the casting team thought so as well.

Yeah, I'm glad we all agreed. You are aware it's Wednesday. You're kidding. Yeah. Good news for you.

Love that for me. Wait, you're kidding.

Yeah, Wednesday. Yesterday, dear toaster's.

Oh, yesterday, dear toaster's.

Duh.

Okay, so sorry, everyone. Happy Wednesday.

Already issuing a correction.

Yeah, as Ben would say, it's probably the injection is getting to me. I have to tell you something. So yesterday, yeah, you guys are probably wondering why it looks so different. I finally, after two years, got Botox and lip filler. Now my upper lip is very swollen.

You're talking a little different, too.

My upper lip, it hurts. It's very swollen.

No, I've been.

Just bear with me. And Ben is when... I forgot because I haven't gotten any Botox in so long. Ben is so dramatic.

So dramatic?

He keeps calling it the injections. Okay, so this morning I was like, Oh my God, I am so tired. Ruby has a runny nose, so it was not the best night's sleep. I'm just tired. I'm allowed to be fucking tired. I wake up, I'm like, I am so tired. And Ben is like, You think it's the injections? I'm like, No. The injections? Calm down. He's being so dramatic yesterday. And he was like, And what's in these injections? I'm like, I don't fucking know. Who cares? Leave me alone. He's being so dramatic.

Botox because it's toxic.

I actually got Disport. They were like, Do you have a preference?

And I was like, Honestly- Disport or Datport?

I'm like, The cheaper port, please. It was an expensive afternoon. Yeah, I don't care. So if I'm looking different, it's the Disport.

Do you want to tell us what you did?

Sure. I did Disport in my forehead.

That's like Botox.

But I was having to explain to the doctor. I'm like, Yeah, I'm a comedian, a personality. It's a new doctor I've never been to. And so I'm on camera a lot. And so I still like to emote. I don't want to be totally frozen. So she understood. And then I was telling her about my upper lip saga, which she also understood. She gave me what I believe is a kiss. Excuse me? Oh, she didn't kiss me. Sorry. Excuse? She kept saying to the nurse, a kiss. So I think that's just when your upper lip needs to be a little... Because she didn't put anything in my lower lip. My is fine and normal.

Oh, interesting.

My upper lip rolls up when I smile. So she did a little Botox under my nose. Oh, my God, it was so fucking painful. Then I also got a full body check while I was there. Wow. What?

No, nothing. What? No, nothing.

Cardboard Koji goes for injections? What?

Cardboard Koji did go for injections because you already commented about the price of Disport versus Botox.

Okay, I don't know what the difference is. And I'm sure I got the more- We're about to find out. I'm sure I got the more expensive one because I was just like, Yeah, whatever you recommend.

You were just throwing money at the problem.

Yeah. So Cardboard Koji, I spent $3,000. Sorry, $2,000. Would Cardboard Koji ever- Ever do it?

No.

Just 2K on a random afternoon.

But I was watching our show, the best show on Earth. Seriously, the greatest show. It's interesting. Our I was up until today, both of our eyebrows move so much. We're so emotive. The face I pulled an unremarkable student. I don't know that I could have made that face if I had Botox. So enjoy this moment for what it is. The show is very expressive, as am I. But yeah, our fireheads were moving more than they probably ever moved.

Our fireheads.

More than they ever moved in the show.

I know. I was thinking that... I remember when I was doing stand-up, I was doing less Botox because it really was so important that I move. And now, I seriously don't care. You guys, the show's amazing, regardless of whether my eyebrows move, and they don't.

And a lot of you listen as a podcast. Oh, true. So this is irrelevant.

Yeah. So I'm just filled with stuff.

With toxins and injections. And I'm jealous.

Whatever. She could have seriously put anything in there.

I would have taken it. No, but that's the good... Even the crunchy mom's like, They still do Botox.

Of course. And also, not to bring down the mood.

That's like beyond the pale.

Not to bring down the mood. But while I was there, they said, We have also... Because it was a cosmetic dermatologist. They were like, Also, you should get a full body check. And I'm like, sure, even though there's something so humiliating about a full body check, I'm like, my full body? The whole thing? Even under my shirt? And so, yeah, I did a whole body check, and not me having something irregular on my back. It's been biopsied, so stay tuned.

It's good that you did that, though.

It's good that I did that. I wasn't expecting... Full body checks are just supposed to go off without a hitch. And she did my back very last. I was just scrolling there on my phone. And she was like, I see something irregular on your back. I'm going to biopsy it. So I had to get numb. It hurts so fucking bad. She scraped it off. So, yeah, tune in next week to find out if it's melanoma.

Okay.

I just feel like if I make light of it, it won't be melanoma.

If I keep calling it- I also feel like labs got a lab.

I know. She was giving Selly. I think she just wanted to scrape my Yeah, for sure.

That's what she's trained to do.

Even though I was like, Can I see? And she zoomed in on her little stethoscope and took a picture for me.

And you could understand why it was irregular?

It was not regular, for sure.

But there's a million things that a regular could be. A lot of them could be nothing. Yeah.

So hopefully, but I just feel like if I keep saying it's melanoma, it won't be. You know?

Yeah.

This is your time to get your skin checked, guys.

Yeah. And it's nice that you didn't even have to seek it out. It just fell into the wild.

I was never going to go.

You were never going to go. Yeah. So that's really good.

Yeah. So stay tuned for the results.

Well, I'm really excited about your new lips. You know when I love... I love work done.

Yeah, and work was done. And then also we laid out future plans for my next 10, 15 years. That was fun, too.

You had a 10 to 15 year plan? Yeah. Could that office accommodate all of your plans?

Okay, it's not that many. And yeah.

What plans?

Well, I don't want to say it because then people start pointing it out, like something that bothers me by my face.

I totally agree.

Because people, even if they never noticed it, it'll be in my comments. Don't you guys feel like her blank is getting blank. I completely. I'll tell you after.

Leave your insecurities dormant. When Chris Appleton wanted us to say what we hate about ourselves.

Nothing. I'm certainly not going to tell the internet.

I can understand why that's a good exercise in self-care, but like- No, but it's also a man. No, but also it's not just the three of us in the room.

1,000 %. I'll tell you off camera. 1,000 %. Sit down. How much time do you have?

1,000 %. Yeah. It's not really an activity for the public square.

No, it's not for public consumption. It's just not. Sorry. So if you want to know, you guys guess. No, I'm kidding. Don't.

No, I won't. And that's very exciting. I'm a couple months behind you, but enjoy these looks while you have them.

Enjoy these eyebrows. Lots of motion. Not even. You look so great.

Well, I've been using my pads, my viral pads.

She did mention the pads to the doctor. She said, Have you tried these viral pads? And I saw my favorite Instagrammer's Instagram, and I said, Actually, that's my sister. Yeah. What about the sister? Yeah, right. I said, That's literally my sister.

The pads are padding, so it is who it is. I could tell.

You don't even need to go to the doctor.

No, but imagine once I go to the doctor, plus I'm using the pads, 12 years old.

Thousand %. 12 year old. I aim to be 12.

Alert, alert.

Mine are on the loose. Unaccompanied Minor. You're going to look so young when you get on a plane, they're going to say, Where's your Shapro, ma'am?

Where's your Shapro, ma'am?

Where's your Shapro, miss?

Little miss.

Little girl. We did not watch Tell Me Lies last night because we were playing Mahjong, so sorry about that. Recap, we'll be coming tomorrow.

Yeah. And also, Kim is on Chloe in Wonderland today.

Apparently, she's talking about all the things, including what we literally asked her for, the Megan Markle photos.

And I didn't read about it. I'm going to watch the episode today. We'll talk about it tomorrow. I need to hear it from her lips. Straight from the worst of them. Full of context, full of facial expressions as much as they can emote, even though she tried Botox once and didn't like it.

Even though... Okay, I'm actually so glad you brought that up because on my way, I was thinking about how on Chloe and Wonderland, one of the questions in part one was like, plastic surgery or cosmetic thing that you can't live without? And Kim said, probably Botox. And remember when she got Botox on TV and said she was allergic to it? And so we were supposed to be believing this whole time that she wasn't getting Botox because she has psoriasis or whatever?

Yeah.

Okay. There was an era where the Kardashian's were so annoying about that. Remember when Kim got her butt X-rayed? Girl. Can we just say it?

I don't know. It's the one thing that they don't say.

She won't. Right. Now they've embraced. Kim got her... Chris got her face I lived. Kylie shared her breasts. Come on. Yeah. Chloe's, too. Chloe's is crazier than Kim's.

Yeah. All the girls... Well, no, not Courtney, not Kendall.

Not Courtney, not Kendall. Oh, did you see Kendall's commercial?

Yeah, it's a story.

Okay, we'll talk about it because I thought it was so great.

Yeah, I did as well. Might have to get out the Toasty Lions list.

I know. And I never thought we'd be getting out the Toasty Lion's list for Kendall Jenner.

No. Or so soon, I just felt like the bar was too high. I guess with Super Bowl coming up, the marketers are marketing.

Right. It's almost that time, you guys. Be careful for what you get targeted with.

They're vying for placement on Toasty Lions. But we do have to add to Toasty Lions Bruno for a Better Wild. He did ads for Dental Health treats, which is just hysterical.

I feel like we're You're right. Now, people release their Super Bowl commercials. Was the Fabletto... Is that Fabletto? Yeah, because she's- FANATIC.

Well, I think it was a pre-Super Bowl commercial because she's on her way to the Super Bowl in this commercial. Oh, right. And then I think there'll be a commercial in the Super Because I hate...

Why can't the Super Bowl commercial just air during the Super Bowl and have it be special? No, people have to release it three days, and we're all going to have to make commercials leading up to the commercial. It's like people are doing too much.

Yeah, but you spend so much on this commercial. I understand wanting to beef it up But it's been pretty good is all I'll say. And this is good, so this is enjoyable, but when it's Duncan, like Duncan-ing with more Duncan.

Well, if you want to know who the Duncans are rooting for, they've already made that clear. Yeah. Because there are zero Duncan donuts in Seattle, Washington, which is crazy. But there's like 3,000 in Boston.

But didn't Starbucks start in Seattle? So they might have a monopoly on the state.

This is like the Seattle Starbucks It's Starbucks versus Duncan. I think I'm waiting for Starbucks. I looke at Starbucks every single morning. I don't go to Starbucks. I like their supermarket products. You guys know I like the medium and sweet, the big jug.

Oh, yeah. You do.

That's huge for me. I don't know if Coffee Mate was a team, I would be waiting for them, too. But I think I might be waiting for the Seattle Starbucks.

I might be rooting for the Seattle egg white bites.

I know. Just something to think about.

Something to think about. Well, we still have to solidify our game day plans.

We do have to solidify our game day plans. Who wants to have a messy kitchen? Because wherever we go, Ben's going to cook. I know. So it's like you or Olivia. I'm scared. Unless we go out.

But that's not fun. No, no. I want to have a relaxing, like a real true American Super Bowl.

Yeah. I need to line up my Zetbound shot so I'm free to eat what I want. Please. Yeah. I weighed myself this morning.

What are you down?

Twelve pounds. And I look exactly the same. What's fucking sadder than that?

That's not true. And your energy is lighter. When you start shedding the weight and you're feeling good, you have a different aura.

Yeah. I had taken a couple, a week off from weighing myself because I got my period. And there's just no use on going on that emotional roller coaster. My period's over. Did I not tell you guys I had my period?

It's like a period T-shirt.

We manufactured it, so it should make it only... We should do a of Eternity merch, The Period Collection. Yeah. Write that down.

We have a lot of big ideas. What else? Well, we have maternity for Eternity. Of course.

Oh, you mean a lot of merch ideas?

Our men's collection, paternity. Yeah, I love that. Oh, yeah. We have a lot of merch ideas. Now that we're an eternity merch, the possibilities are endless. The rebrands are endless. Yeah. We need Redheads merch now that the Redheads have a new joie de vivre.

It feels like, maybe it's only because it's the new year, but it feels like a lot of renewed, rebirth energy amongst our brands, our branding.

Yeah, it does. I feel like, how has your January, has your January, Januaryed as we close out the month soon?

Did I say that I had a resolution?

I feel like you did.

I think it was my zet bound, right? I had already started two weeks early.

That's not like a resolution, but I feel like you said- What?

Eating healthy? That's not like a resolution.

You didn't come on here to say you're going to eat healthy.

No, I said I was starting my health journey.

No, no, no. I'm saying that. But I do feel like you had a resolution. It's not good that we can't I remember it.

Because I'm obviously not keeping up on it. If it was my subscriptions, I'm crushing that. Canceling my Peacock when I get home. I have a resolution.

I feel like it didn't. But do you feel like you have successfully Januaryed? No.

I feel like you have. Really? I haven't been home, so I haven't been on top of my shit.

But you've been on top of your work, like toast- I've been crushing it at work. Yeah. Hysterical. You're on your zetbound weight loss journey. You have a new face.

It's actually true.

You've accomplished a lot from January first to January 28th. You've done a lot.

Yeah, I guess. Thanks for hyping me up. So have you.

Thank you. But I'm not in really a position to January so hard.

I know.

But I'm meeting my- She'll be January in April, so come back.

April first. Yeah.

Actually, April seventh.

If we're going to be like- Get the month all the way.

Well, we'll see. We'll see.

We'll see.

Look, I guess. Let's get into the stories. There's a lot to discuss. I feel like we keep waiting.

We also got $100,000 haircuts in January.

I got $50,000. I only got half a haircut.

But you got the front, which is the important half.

Yeah, but I'm a $50,000. I'm walking around with this hair, $50,000. This hair?

$100,000.

It's something, though. I was almost in zero. $100,000.

We're going to have a good time. That ends up to this guy.

We're going to get toasty tonight. I feel like we are going to get toasty tonight.

You have plans tonight?

I actually do have plans tonight.

So do I.

But I also think I'll be getting toasty.

Yeah.

Do you feel?

Yeah, I got plans tonight.

Do you got You got plans tonight? I'm going out tonight.

You got plans tonight. I'm a couple hundred miles from Japan tonight. You got plans tonight.

Do you want to share them? No, she's private.

Yeah, we just got big plans.

Big, big plans.

Yeah.

Yeah, you know I got some big, big plans.

But a little house that I'm going to have. We could go on forever with this game. Oh, yeah.

That would be a fun game.

Patreon. Where we play the game where you say a word and then you have to go back and forth.

It's literally pitch perfect. The Riff. The Riff-off. We are the Riff-off podcast.

The Riff-off live. No, we just have to do it.

The Riff-off? The best five. Oh, that too. Okay.

We're just circling the drain now.

No, I had one more thought on our RIF-offs.

Do you ever have a day where your brain and your mouth aren't connected?

Well, you have a different mouth, so that would make sense.

Oh, therein lies the issue. As Ben would say, it's the Your brain is not connected to your new mouth. I'm just feeling crazy. My eyes, my brain, and my mouth are three different organs.

Well, you're holding it together really well.

Oh, really?

And I'm not giving- Crazy person?

Yeah. No. Oh, okay, good. Here we go.

Well, without further.

This crazy ass podcast.

Here are the fast five stories that you to do need to know.

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Thank you, your first turt.

I remember my first turt.

Our first story, the afformenntend Kendall Jenner fanatic sportsbook commercial. So yesterday, Kendall premiered her new commercial for the Super Bowl. She is trolling her athlete exes and poking fun at her family's alleged dating curse in a new Super Bowl commercial. In the ad for fanatic sportsbook, the supermodel who has previously dated several NBA players jokes that any basketball player who dates her hits, quote, a rough patch, and that she's been betting on it all these years, and that's how she makes all of her money. What did you think she made it from? Modeling?

Historical. The whole commercial, the concept, 10 out of 10. The execution, 10 out of 10. She looked gorgeous. Whatever filter they had, it was so like south of France. It was so Gorgina Vagina, the styling. I loved I think about it. And you just know who's rolling over in her grave is that Ben Simmons' sister. Remember when Ben Simmons' sister was coming for Kendall, that she wanted to eat a cookie or something? It was so weird in me.

She baked them cookies from slice and bake.

And she cut them weird.

Wow.

Okay. Well, Who's laughing now, Ben Simmons' sister.

Wow, you really are disgusting.

Wow, you really are disgusting. This was so good. And you know what? Shout out. I didn't even know Fanatics had a sportbook. I thought they made merch, and they throw parties. I don't really know what they do, but now I know they're also a sportsbook.

Well, Fanatics is merch. I found myself there now as a boy mama. They have a nice Cowboys merch. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And now they have Fanatics sportsbook. So you can bet on the Super Bowl. That's the message. Honestly, the message got through. That's also part of a toasty line is like, did I successfully understand the mission? Right.

And what your brand does.

Yeah. The funniest part of the commercial was at the end. She's joking the whole time about how she's cursed and her siblings are cursed and everyone that they date, stings at their game, whatever. She bets on it and makes money. And then she's like, oh, the Kardashian curse. And she's like, That's not even my last name.

Oh, my God. I didn't even see that part of the commercial.

It's the last line of the commercial when she's sitting on the plane. That's hilarious. It was expertly written.

Ai could never.

I need to give Kendall a lot of credit for agreeing to this concept, not only to make fun of herself and her exes, but I felt like there were things in there that I would have assumed that she would not- Ever speak on. No, make fun of herself for it. I feel like she takes a lot of pride in her driving like a ditch cars and the fact that she made a joke like she can't drive.

And then she drove backwards.

It's really funny and self-deprecating. Sometimes she comes off as a little bit humorless, and all of this dispelled that.

No. She should have done it. I'm sure she got paid. I don't want to talk about how much she got paid. I'm sure she got paid a lot. This is something she I would have done for free because everyone's talking about it's so positive for her. I think, yes, she does often come off as humorless and also takes herself really seriously with her horses and her hobbies, and it's just like, Okay, you're a nerd. So this was great for her image and a huge payday. I would love to know how much she got paid. She did post the commercial on her Instagram, right? That's how I saw it.

Oh, I don't know. Chris also posted it. Yeah.

So the social deliverables, she probably gets at least a million dollars for an Instagram. And then her day rate, her name and likeness. I want to say this is a five, six million dollar payday for her. And I think it also just went a long way, not only financially, but just boosting morale for Kendall because she does fall flat a lot on the show, her personality.

Yeah. Also, I think this is part of a larger commercial package just because of the story that they're telling. She's on her way to the Super Bowl to go mess with some players and bet on- She's obviously going to be in San Francisco- For the game.

With fanatics. Yes. In the fanatic suite or wearing a fanatic shirt. Yes. It's a larger partnership.

I think there will be another commercial that airs during the game- That's a really good call. About her time, who she's betting on for the game because maybe the joke is she's dating someone on one of the teams, so they will lose.

I can't remember because I feel like we've gotten to a place with Super Bowl fatigue. The commercials, it's like, How many celebrities can we put? It's not funny anymore. It's very hard to stand out unless you're going to make me cry. Remember that farmer's dog one that made us cry? It's hard to stand out just because everybody literally uses all their budget for their Super Bowl commercial, and it's just not funny anymore, and it's hard to stand out. I can't remember a time in recent history where I've loved a commercial so much. And so shout out to Fanatics for bringing joy back. I feel like the last two, three years we've come on and we just roast everyone because it's like, How many celebrities can we get?

And unless it's the perfect synergetic partnership between celebrity, this could only be done by this celebrity. Otherwise, it's like, why'd you pay all this money, throw a celebrity at the thing? People don't even like some of these people.

Yeah, it's so unmemorable.

Yeah. They're not actually influential in terms of buying power.

No, but it is really interesting to see who from the Internet, who from reality TV gets plucked for a Super Bowl because it's like a What's the word I'm looking for? Help me.

Not a rite of passage.

No, that's what I was going to say, but it's not a rite of passage. It's like a marker to take you from the next level. If you get picked from the slums of the internet and reality TV into this prestigious, and it happens every now and then, And I am really curious to see who from TikTok is going to make it this year. Like, will Alex Earle?

Well, she was in Popy, and she was in Carl's Jr.

Was that a Super Bowl commercial? I don't know. I don't think so.

We might be in a Super Bowl commercial. We're not.

Spoiler alert.

But I just feel like drumming up.

Oh, a rumor about ourselves?

Yeah. People are like, Do you hear they're in a Super Bowl commercial?

I wasn't going to watch the Super Bowl, but I hear two fabulous podcasters might be starring in a commercial. Yeah.

That way people like, Why don't we just put it out there? No one's watching.

So true. Do you Super Bowl commercial?

We are going to be in a Super Bowl commercial. It's not really a big deal. We got asked to be in a lot, but we chose one because it was really near and dear to us.

And a long-time partner of ours, and we wanted to support them. Being on TV is not a big deal for us.

It's an everyday It's been a bit of a occurrence.

Quite literally.

So, yes, stay tuned. Now, this is making me excited. Then came, I think, with fanatics to the Super Bowl in Vegas. So I think just the girls are going to be girlin. And especially because Taylor's not there. I feel like they can really let their...

By the way, that is so true. It's going to be a Kardashian Super Bowl.

Yeah.

Because they had the last two years off.

Yeah.

They went but hung their heads in shame.

Yeah.

Because it was Taylor's event. Yeah. Oh, I didn't even think about that. That's huge. And who are the teams again?

The Seahawks and the Patriots.

And any celebrity ties? No, there's no celebrity spouses.

Patriots, Stefan Diggs is expecting a baby with Cardi B.

Yes. Okay. So I don't know how late in her pregnancy she is. Maybe she won't be there. Yeah.

That's the only one. And aside from the homegrown, like Anne Michael May.

Anne Michael May.

And I'm sure there's an Anne Michael May of the Seahawks.

Yeah.

But that's it.

It's not celebrity heavy, which actually is okay.

We can focus on the game.

Let the footballers football.

Yeah. And the celebs will be there.

This is giving like, vintage Super Bowl, just like boys playing football, not like Taylor, Travis, like Hailey Steinfeld, not like celebrity, not Hollywood. It's just like, it's very It's giving like rugged. They're just raw dog in it. We're coming to San Francisco to play football. I'm sure there'll be a lot of parties and stuff.

Maybe that's why the NFL scripted it that way.

Back to basics. Ina Garten, back to basics.

And also I feel like when we were growing up 10 years ago, it was Patriots, Seahawks, every Super Bowl. Patriots were always in the Super Bowl with Tom braided, and there was a couple of Seahawks. You're right.

That feels familiar to me.

It's giving throwback.

I'm telling you, the theme is like vintage, back to basics. I think maybe they scripted a little too close to the sun, and they're pulling it back. Finding some of their writers.

No, the scripting so hard was good. They roped us all in, like how invested we are.

And now they want us to like them for them.

Yeah. So we'll see how it goes.

No, actually, I'm excited.

What are we going to eat? When is it? Not this Sunday, the following Sunday. Okay.

That's like, I have so much to do. I have like, we need to get better is noses running. I have a million things to do.

But we do need to like, menu plan. Yeah. Because I actually- Maybe we should just do a chili, make it easy.

I have something controversial to I love chili, of course. And it is like 50 degrees here, so we could make one today if you wanted.

Oh, I think we should make one today.

Maybe tomorrow. I'm planning on coming over to your house tomorrow.

Ruby needs a bit of chili.

Yeah, totally. I have something to say about chili.

I'm going to say something, too.

Oh, can you go first?

Yeah. I love chili. Of course. It's so obvious, but something has changed for me in that I won't have sour cream in my chili anymore just because I'm not mixing meat and milk as much. And that just like, I don't know what that one just feels wrong And maybe it's like I like sour cream. Not chili. No, I like chili, but it really needs the sour cream. I'm struggling. It's not as exciting to me without sour cream.

So I echo those sentiments completely because obviously I'm on a health journey, and usually when I'm raw dog and I going nuts with chili. It's basically just a thing for me to put chips in and rice. And when you pull that back, all that's left with is your chili. And of course, chili is good, but maybe I don't need to be having it as frequently if I'm not having chips and rice and a lot of fun carby snacks like Fritos.

I will say this conversation is making me really want a chili. I feel like we've just been sleeping on chili the last few months.

We have to test this theory, of course. So we have to make a chili.

But yeah, when I have my chili, I'm just like, Oh, darn. I wish I was having sour cream and cheese. Yeah. But did you see We didn't even talk about this. I remember that in Israel, they developed dairy-free milk, like real milk in a lab. Like from a cow? No, not from a cow. So it's not dairy.

It's beyond dairy.

But it tastes like milk. It's like you can have all dairy products, but they're dairy-free. And it's not like a fake lactose-free. They've literally created milk, no dairy.

I mean, the Yeshiva community wouldn't recover from such a substantial scientific discovery.

People are saying the kosher- Games are over. Kosher food game. It's changed.

It sounds like we need to get a Hachcher and open up a kosher restaurant and we can serve meat and fairy. Faerie. That's the name of our restaurant.

I love it. Faerie tale. It was literally made by a fairy. Because first they just developed it. So now a brand needs to make it into sour cream and butter and everything. But it's going to change the space.

And the non-dairy girl is not even the kosher girl is.

Of course. But so this maybe year-along period is going to be hard for me where I can't have sour cream on my chili. But I do think that there is light.

At the end of the tunnel.

Yeah, where I'm going to be getting- I'm glad we're both going through just a revelatory- A chili evolution.

A chili evolution.

In the way that we consume chili.

We have to be mindful consumers.

But I do really want a chili now.

I think I'm just hungry. I think I would eat anything if you put it in front of me right now, you know?

Chili or otherwise. But I also think chili is good for breastfeeding because it's warm and nourishing.

Don't you wonder why they call it chili?

I think because it's spiced with chili seasonings from the chile.

Duh. I was thinking because it's chili outside.

Well, that's just.

It's a double entendre.

But it's the chili pepper.

Yeah, for sure.

Like, chili's.

Do you remember ratemyprofessor. Com?

Yeah.

Then all the professors, if they were hot, they had a chili next to them. Do you remember that?

I forgot the chili.

When you would get a new professor, it was only for college, right? When you would sign up for your classes and then you found out who your professors were, you would look them up and rate your professor. It was like, Are they dicks? Are they easy?

It was like, Yelp for professors. Yeah.

Is that still a website?

Probably.

It was such a good website. I wonder if that person who created it... Oh, my God, it doesn't. I wonder if they still have the chili.

I feel like they wouldn't have that in this day and age.

It's not appropriate.

It's not appropriate.

Okay, let's look at my school, NYU. Let me think of a professor who was good-looking. Do you think I can name one of my professors? Not one.

Just look up a professor. I actually don't remember my professor. I I remember my professors, but not their names.

Adam Pinkus. He has a 4. 1 based on seven ratings. No.

No Chilly. Okay.

Well, he sounds like an amazing professor, this guy. I just want to say he's so chill, according to this person, and he actually cares. Oh, please. Yeah. Brown noser.

Spare me. Are you ready for our next story? I think you're going to find wildly interesting if you haven't heard this yet. What? But Daily Mail is reporting that Nicola Peltz gets a million dollars a month allowance from her father, Nelson Peltz, as Brooklyn's billionaire in-laws take him under their wing. So Daily Mail has put out this article talking a little bit about the money drama between the Peltz is in the Beckhams that might explain how people with infinite money are actually beefing a little bit. So Nicola Peltz reportedly receives a $1 million a month allowance from her billionaire father. The staggering allowance is in stark contrast to the financial support Brooklyn is thought to receive from his parents, David and Victoria. So her dad is worth 1. 6 billion. Apparently, the Beckhams are worth around 680 billion. A source says, From what I hear, I think the Beckhams give Brooklyn a lot of money, but not insane money, and they have this dream to some degree that he will stand on his own two feet and become independent. Maybe Nelson Peltz would deny this, but I hear that he said to them that, I give my daughter a million dollar a month allowance.

The one thing the Beckham's didn't think their children would be doing would be the one signing the prenuptual. They thought it would be the other way around. So I think the prenup disagreements amongst the families is that they put one for Brooklyn to sign. Then maybe in that, then the Beckhams came back and were like, Okay, the name thing. And I think he did sign their prenup. They live in an $11 million house in Hollywood. Who does?

You'd say they.

Brooklyn and Nikola.

And you think they did sign?

I think they did sign. I think her dad paid for their house. And I think Victoria and David are like, We saw in their documentary, they came from working class families, and they didn't just give over millions for their house.

No, I think what they, ideally, were trying to do with all of his failed career paths was use their platform, their privilege to get him in a position where he could be a provider for his family. And yes, on the shoulders of his parents as a chef or whatever he was trying to do. And none of that panned out. So I don't know how Brooklyn Beckham pays bills, if not from his wife or his mom.

Yeah.

But I think that they... I know they tried to also make him into a soccer player for many years. He was like, by the time he was 18, it was just clear that he didn't have it.

But the other ones play. One of the little ones plays.

Yeah, but this was their first born. I think they thought he was going to be like a little David, and it was probably like, This is your dream dad, not mine. And he didn't have the skills. So that flopped. Then the photography and then the chefing. I think the goal was like, Yeah, they funded a lot of these absurd projects, but in the hopes that it would lead to a career, and he wouldn't be a neppo baby, literally spending his parents' credit cards every month. That's not a sustainable... It is more sustainable for a girl. Sorry, their rules are rules. But like Brooklyn, your husband, now a provider, get a job. So That gives me the ick a little bit.

Yeah, because we were talking last week, I don't think on the show, but how does he go to the grocery store? Brooklyn, I mean, David and Victoria are definitely not giving him any. If they were giving him money before an allowance, there's no way they're giving him money now after he did what he did. That would be just incredibly foolish. So he's got to play by Nicola's rules.

She has the power now. She's had the power for a while, but yeah, being completely financially cut off from the Beckhams is definitely a point in the Peltz's columns.

Yeah, and apparently, reports last year claim that David and Victoria fear their son is trapped by the couple's prenup as well as his living situation in LA because they live in this $11 million home. But it has been reported that she is the primary owner of the home.

Obviously.

Yeah. Her dad bought it. And I guess David and Victoria did not want that for him.

Well, I understand Nelson Peltz here. My wife married this- No, but so I think David and Victoria wouldn't have had them move into a home like that, that they couldn't afford by them.

Right.

Okay. I'm not... Nicola She's accustomed to a certain way of life. And so if her husband can give it to her and her husband's parents can give it to her, her dad will give it to her. I don't fault Nicola here. And I don't fault... It's nice to have generous parents. That's lovely. And I know this is like setting women back a lot. I just think it's different for a daughter and a son. I think it's okay if you have come from very wealthy parents to coddle your daughter. And yeah, sorry. I did. She never have to work. That's fine. A son who's never working, you know what I mean?

I agree.

I just think it's different. So I could see them having different philosophies on financially supporting their kids because I just think it's different. And I don't think that the Beckham's... If the Peltz's were doing this, I would call them cheap, but I think the Beckham's doing it is like, you're trying to raise a man, a father, a provider. And yes, these people come from different circumstances, But some of these old age, old gender stereotypes are there for a reason. Sorry. A man needs a job. A girl?

I guess he'll be cooking and cleaning.

Oh, yes, of course. And then there's... But he's not cooking and cleaning because they have maids and chefs.

But he's He's a chef, too.

Yeah, if you can call it that.

But I'm just saying that's his trade. I don't know. It's all backwards, but I could see how this could get very hangled and how he could feel- More money, more problems. Yeah. And now he really feels like holding to the Peltis because they're paying his bills.

He's in a bad spot. He's in a bad spot. He has completely isolated his family, even though your parents should and will love you always, no matter what. But he's really isolated himself from his parents. I just really hope that, and I think that they really love each other, Brooklyn and Nikola. I think that's really important here because if you have love, you don't need anything else in your $11 million house. I hope that they feel really happy together. I think that's the one thing that needs to I hope this isn't taking a toll on their marriage or anything because that would be bad.

And Carrie and Megan. Right.

They're stuck together forever.

Yeah, they are. And he just shouldn't have posted that thing. They could have all these issues, but everything that we're talking about are things that you can get over. Oh, there's too much money. They're giving too... Oh, no. Posting what he posted is really not something you can come back from.

Let's go back to the million dollars a month figure.

Okay.

Your house is bought and paid for. Do you think that million dollars covers the mortgage?

No, I feel like that's not fair.

Allowance is not like...

It is for utilities and stuff, but...

I just think the household is run on its own as a separate entity. I agree. Maybe they put it in some inherited trust or whatever, and it gets paid out from there.

Yeah. And it's like, do they even have a mortgage?

I think the million is for trips to the Cape and- Broceries. Maybe if Brooklyn needs to buy a tripod or something.

Or if she needs $100,000 haircut. Right. Which I feel like she does. It does seem like they travel a lot.

Yeah.

But yeah, that's quite a staggering number.

It is. It's just like somebody who makes $12 million a year. But is an allowance taxed?

I think So above a certain amount.

Yeah, of course.

Unless you like trusts and things of that nature. Very interesting.

Yeah, I think I could live off a million dollar allowance. Yeah. I have to obviously like...

That feels right. You have to cut back.

Yeah, of course. I think I could do it, but I'm braver than a lot of you guys. So that's why.

Very interesting.

That is really interesting.

Yeah. Are you ready for our next story? A little Mom, Toxic Mom Group drama. It's been a few days, but- What's going on with them? Ashley Tisdale and Haley Duff have shared a moment from a playdate together after the Toxic Mom Group drama.

This is just giving two losers.

These two were hanging out. So Haley Duff shared a photo of her daughter playing under a table with Ashley's daughter, captioned Under table shenanigans. Then Tisdale reposted.

It's a good caption.

Tisdale reposted to her Instagram stories. I mean, this seems like just nonsense, but this is major.

Obviously, it's not nonsense.

After Tisdale endeavored to take down one Miss Hillary Duff, She's now congregating with her sister.

Colluding, commisery, Tisdale. Conniving, Tisdale. Okay. This is big loser energy on Haley Duff's part. As she does, Dale is just doing what she can to survive. I don't fault her, really. But this is big time loser energy from one Ms. Haley Doff. When I tell you, like Hillary's thriving, I don't know if you're seeing all the things from her tour. She looks gorgeous. They're like gangbusters sold out. She is playing tiny venues, but sold out. The clips are going viral. Someone's watching over me. She recreated her viral.

Her viral dance, I saw that.

She's being funny. She looks gorgeous. She's making good TikToks. The reception has been I'm really positive. So it's like, Okay, enjoy your playdate.

Yeah, but that's sad for the sister. It's Brooklyn and Nikola. What are you doing?

Yeah, the public. If you have a problem with your sister and you go and find refuge with someone else who has a problem with your sister, fine, whatever. Do what you need to do to survive. But posting the picture, she knew what she was doing. This is just going to be never going to be a winner for me.

What could have come between Hillary and Haley?

They say politics.

I don't think that's true. I mean, what do I know? But Hillary did so much for Haley.

Big time.

And so what? It's just a disagreement?

I have to imagine it's deeper than that. I have no idea, but that's just what the internet has decided.

Oh, okay. That's so internet. That's what they said about Tia and Tamara, too.

Yeah, but I think that was true. But then also now that I'm thinking about it, they also said that Ashley Tisdale was Magga and that Haley was Maga. So maybe they got together to chat about Maga.

And Yeah. They said Ashley Tisdale was Maga, but then she said she's not.

Right. And that she's a registered Democrat. And that it wasn't about this mom group. Right. I forgot how big of an L Ashley Tisdale took. This is not helping. She needs to go dark for a couple of months so we can all forget about this, pretend it never happened.

Yeah, I agree. Has it been good for her? We're talking about her almost every day.

The name on everybody's lips is Tisdale.

And she's going to sell her article to be a movie or a show that everyone's going to be obsessed with.

Yeah.

And what was she doing before she did all this?

I believe she was like an organic- Rivers were running quiet. They were running dry for sure.

Perhaps it wasn't so bad.

No, perhaps.

Are you ready for our fourth story? Amanda Batula is breaking her silence on her Kyle Cooke split. She says, It's easier to get along. So she was on Serious XM's front row, and she said, We're good, and that's it. It's easier to get along, but we're good. We talk all the time. We're both traveling, so I'm watching the dogs. He's watching the dogs. We're co-parenting the dogs together. Oh, God. Still call him if I have questions, but she feels like a weight has been lifted since they announced the breakup. She said, Every step we've taken, there's a little bit of a weight has been lifted. Ironically, I feel like last having pressed posts together, it felt like we were a little more light-hearted. I mean, look, she said, More than anything, I want... Oh, he said, I want her to be happy, and I want us to both be happy. Oh, he said that- In that video? Yeah, that they are more light-hearted I don't know.

Okay. They're both giving weird random interviews in an informal way. Yeah. I never heard of this show, but pop off.

But they're doing press summer house comes out next week. Right.

And it seems like they're getting themselves into a position where they might be able to continue to be on the show the other because the show is really important to both of them.

Yeah. I think so. I can't believe they're coparenting the dogs.

Yeah, that's like major eye roll, even though dogs are their life.

But I feel like they're her life more. Obviously. No, and they're definitely like, he loves them a lot, but I think they're more for... Someone has to win, and it's just her.

It has to be her, obviously.

And then he'll get Loverboy.

It seems like a fair trade, honestly.

Yeah.

Okay.

Summerhouse. I'm so behind I've done so many things, but I'm going to endeavor to catch up. Because I need to catch up on Southern Charmer Beverly Hills and then Summerhouse. Oh, and it leads into our fifth and final story, which is some valley tea. Did you see that Lala Kent teases a potential romance with Michelle and I.

Wait, what?

You know Michelle from the Valley? Divorce. Divorce Jessie. Michelle and Jessie. She posted a bunch of photos. I need to get the caption verbatim. They were like a little girls gone wildy, cute friends. But then the caption was, Hold on. I could go Brad. I could go Angelina.

Let me see the pictures.

Okay, this is one. You wouldn't think much.

I don't know. Michelle's arm. Just wait.

Naked in the shower. What? The two of them on a... Get back.

I need to go back to the tissue picture. Okay, for this picture, it is giving couple.

Okay, but also it could also be giving best friends.

I do think you reach a certain age where showering with your best friend is no longer a normal or platonic thing. Then they're at the beach. Oh, then they're cuddled up on a boat. Okay. Yeah. And we know Lala is open to different romantic partners in terms of gender because the whole Ariana thing.

And it's in the caption.

Oh, yeah. And she told us.

And that's Kyle Richard's quote from when she was finally admitting that. Oh, is it? Yes. She said that on the season of Beverly Hills when the women asked her about her sexuality. That's what she said.

Okay, so they're a couple.

Or they're hooking up.

A couple of lesbians. And then yesterday, Michelle posted, they're on a girls trip in Cabo with Brittany and Janet, with Lala, too. So So interesting. I mean, I can't think of two less compatible people. Michelle is so quiet, reserved, low-key boring. And Lala is just busting with personality. And also, I do think Lala is at a period in her life where she definitely needs and does click baity type of things. So this also could be nothing. But it's definitely giving just two girls who are in a relationship.

We're best friends who are hooking up.

That's not a thing.

And what happened to the Honey guy?

Aaron.

Let me check Michelle's page. Was he there?

No, it's a girls trip, it said.

No, but Michelle, is she still with Honey Man?

I feel like, obviously not. She's taking naked showers with her lover.

Yeah, I don't see him in her- And I'm just also getting the vibe that this is being filmed because they're on a trip with...

Like, Cabo with Brittany and Janet is so like a valley trip.

For sure. And Lala is full on the valley.

And I do need to- Oh, shit. I thought you were going to say Tee's is a relationship with Tom Schwartz. Well, that does- What a lockdown.

Like, Michelle Well, it does hurt that it's not Tom Schwartz yet, but I do think in time, maybe I just won't catch up on last season because it was not- The Valley?

Yeah, it was- You can miss it. It was good, but it was not like- It was all about Jack. Yeah, and he's not even on anymore.

Was Lala on that season, really?

She showed up a couple of times, but she was not a cast member.

I think I'll pick back up on the new season that she's in. That's the good thing about The Valley. Because I'm not going to miss Lala on TV.

It's can miss TV. I don't watch the first season, but I watch the second and third, and I'm fine.

Yeah, it's so true.

It's can miss television.

It's It's also transient in terms of the feuds. Nothing's that deep. You don't have to know the history. I know the players, and now I actually do know the history. I feel fine if I didn't see what happened with Jacks. You're fine. A day by day after he left his program.

It was crazy, and he was so nasty.

Where's he doing now?

I believe he's off the show.

Okay.

It doesn't even matter now because he's not on the show anymore. Irrelevant. Brittany is doing better than she ever was. He put them in financial ruin, left everything in her name, didn't pay the mortgage for six months. She took a second house just to get away from him, and he said he wanted to stay in the house. She took Cruise to the other house, and he ended up not even paying the mortgage, and so not even staying in that house. It was just terrible. I saw all of that. Financial ruin.

I saw all of that. Oh, great. I'm caught up, and now I'll have to be watching for this.

For Lovers, Star-Cost Lovers.

I also saw Love is Blind next season, cast announced. They were doing it in Ohio, and it's coming out, and I feel like there are certain cities that are more ripe for a good Love is Blind season.

And Ohio, it's like, you need to be in a very unremarkable... This is going to sound mean, but it's not meant to be. A very normal, unremarkable city. The people from Charlotte, that was a good season. They were very normal. When you did Pacific Northwest, you're just getting that quirky, eccentric personalities, and sometimes that's just not... The show is good when it's just regular people, not these characters. So I actually think Ohio is a great place for that.

Yeah, I'm excited.

That's always fun. If any of our Ohio listeners are single and wanting to apply, let this be your sign.

No, it's coming out any day.

If anyone is in Ohio, you've missed your chance.

I'm sorry about that. So move to a different city where you know that they might be- Where they haven't done it yet.

Yeah.

But then if you do fall in love, you're going to be like, Well, I'm actually from Ohio.

And so we have to move back. And that'll be a thing on the show. Yeah.

And then it'll come out. You're fighting in this apartment. It will come out that you moved to be on the show.

For the show, which is never good.

Which is such a red flag. They should dump you.

Divorce. Okay. Is that it?

That is it.

It feels like a Nesafi.

A Nesaf.

Benjamin Nesauffer.

It's the Nesafi Stadium.

Oh, no, mine's better.

Benjamin I'm in the saffer.

Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. The end is silent.

The end is silent. I like that. Okay, well, me and my injections have to go settle. We'll We'll see you tomorrow, you guys. Thank you so much for listening to the Jessam Lining Morning Show. We deliver the fast life stories. It needs to know everybody on the Friday on YouTube. So if you're watching us on YouTube, please feel free to subscribe and give us a video of thumbs up. We're also available as a podcast on our podcast. We found. So that's Spotify, Tunzut, your public radio, and our Netflix social. This is the podcast. We'll see if I serve you. I've had a beautiful Sunday in my Kelly town. Here we are.

Love you. Bye. Sagen wir, hast du bei der Steuer auch diesen schul flashback? Einfach irgendwas raten und dann hoffen, dass es stimmt? Boah, nee, gar nicht. Wieso Steuer ist so mein safe space? Du meinst, damit ist alles sicher? Ja, genau. Wieso Steuer ist so die Steuer-App, die dich einfach versteht. Egal ob Studium, Job oder Umzug. Stimmt, krass. Fühlt sich gar nicht wie Steuern an. Steuern erledigt? Safe. Mit Wieso Steuer.