Transcript of Queen Corgi, We Love Your Work: Thursday, January 29th, 2026

Good morning, girlies. It's The Toast. It's Jackson Claude, and we're your hosts. It's your favorite show, the fast-fired things you need to know. We'll start your day off swirly, it's The Toast.

They sound amazing. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to The Toast, Queen Corgi herself, Claudia Ashray.

Yes, hello, hello, my loyal subjects. It is me, Queen Corgi. My reign has ended. Corgi. But it's also just begun. Corgi, we love you. Let me put my crown on. Hold on. That's better.

Queens fix each other's crown.

Oh, yeah. Here are your headphones.

Corgi, we love you.

Thank you. Yeah, they love me.

The rumors are true. Yeah, she is the Queen Corgi.

Oh, my God. I feel like this is similar to the episode where I told everyone I was pregnant. This big secret I was keeping, so hard to keep. So hard to keep. I actually was having flashbacks to being pregnant because it was that exciting thing. So excited. The biggest thing in my life is happening, and I can't talk about it. I'm singing on television.

For anyone who might not know, Claudia was on The Mass Singer, and last night Wait.

What's her final episode?

She did something shocking. We're going to recap the best episode of TV ever. She unmasked herself on The Mass Singer. So rumors have been a swirling.

Yes, I'd like to shout out to that girl, Grace, on TikTok, who literally figured it out before the first episode even air. Before there was a commercial, they released a couple of hints, and this girl was like, I'm pretty sure this is Claudia from The Toast. She was 100% right, and she put everyone on. And you know how hard it was for me not to get involved. They're talking about me on TikTok, and I can't say anything. Like, okay.

Yeah. And I feel like your silence was confirmation.

I know. Because if any other year, there was a rumor about me being on a TV show, I would come down and speak my truth.

And in the past, there have been rumors like, Oh, is that Claudia on Massinger? And this year, the rumors were true.

Yeah, she is the Queen Corgi.

Last night was your final performance on the Massinger. You premiered with Don't Rain On My Parade, which a lot of the tosters are watching. We all knew it was you.

So I thought that that would be a good song. Actually, the selection process is really interesting. There's a couple of factors. Legally, some songs can't get cleared. You're allowed to ask for certain songs if anybody's ever I've sang it before, you're most likely not allowed to. Sometimes they make exceptions. If it's a theme or something. I knew I wanted to get a couple of songs cleared. Some of my songs did not get cleared, which was really tough. But Don't Rain On My Parade did. I thought it'd be the perfect way to start. I thought people wouldn't have... Before I even premiered my first episode, people knew it was me. But I thought that if I gave them a little clue with the song, the song is so me, and I did request the Glee version, which they were more than happy to oblige. I did sing the Lea Michelle version, in case anyone was wondering. I thought that would be a little nod to the toaster's watching me, like, yes, it's your girl.

Meanwhile, they did so many nods to the toaster's watching. They did all these packages with clues. So cute. The first package was so cute. It was all about you in New York City and blogging. And then last night's package, was anyone else crying?

I was. I was really overwhelmed.

The mama Corgi and the baby Corgi.

So last night was poetic for me because I've been trying to get Ruby to co-sleep with me for a month now, and he's like, Girl, get away from me. Well, he's got a little bit of runny nose. We put him down. He started crying. He started co-sleeping with me at 8: 00. I'm on TV, Ruby. So I was missing the first 10 minutes. And then he fell asleep so hard that I just put the TV on and he slept through a wall on my chest. It was a dream. And I did end up, and I will talk about it more in-depth here and also on Patreon, I did end up leaving the Massinger and withdrawing from the competition for Ruby and for that journey. So the fact that he needed his mom on the night of my Big Night, it was just a beautiful ending. Full circle. Yeah, it really was. Full circle. So, yeah, we're going to do a full in-depth episode taking questions about the whole journey, but not me. Okay, so when I went to LA in October, it was like, and let's just be clear, I think that's proof that I would be an amazing trader.

I was like, my lies. I was surprised nobody was on to me in October. The whole thing was so fuckoct. I went to LA and it was like, we stayed longer, then we stayed shorter, and it was all for Ben. I would ever do something like that for Ben. But everyone was living for... I don't know. I just feel like that's proof I would be an amazing trader. That's a good point. I was being such a liar. Insane.

Yeah. And you have to be it. And in general, I'm like, I don't support not lying, but it was for the greater good. They are ironclad, air tight over there. Oh, my God. I didn't tell anyone.

Jackie took it really seriously. I did, too, obviously, but I don't know why I just thought not everyone else would. Jackie was taking it so seriously. Seriously freezing up when people would ask her, Why is Claudia in LA? She's like, For a man.

Last night, Dana texted when you revealed yourself. She was like, Oh my God, that was amazing. And I'm like, How did you even know about it? Maybe from the internet, but I didn't tell her.

No, I didn't think that you did. Don't worry. I didn't I appreciate how much you took it seriously. They take it so seriously over there. I thought I had seen the show and I know that they make everybody cover up and wear masks. And I thought there was a performative element to that. There aren't people actually walking around the lot wearing masks over their face. You guys, I was not allowed to leave my trailer without gloves, pants, obviously, their pants, their sweatshirt, a face mask, socks, covering everything. They didn't want a piece of jewelry. I guess there's a lot of photos that get leaked. And I was literally wearing my Toast merch. So Obviously. Like the Garchy Parchy shirt was going to be a red flag. They take it so seriously. You have to sign a lot of documents. You are not allowed to tell anyone. It was the craziest experience of my life. And I did it. So I found out I was going to be on... They called me over the summer, right? We were out to dinner. So at that point, I was two months postpartum, and I knew it was going to be in October.

So I was like, Okay, I'm going to be four months postpartum, and I'll be fine. Like, four months. I was already feeling pretty good. I don't know if it was this huge life change. I moved to LA. I moved my whole family. I'm still exclusively breastfeeding. I have a four-month-old. I'm working full-time, and I was about to start maternity leave for you. So I was going to be doing a little bit more work than usual. I don't know if it was all of that that sent me into a spiral or just postpartum finally hitting me because I used to always say postpartum depression is afraid of me, postpartum anxiety is afraid of me. And like, Girl, no, I'm afraid of it. And I spoke about it a little bit on the podcast when I got back from LA talking about how I was having anxiety, but I couldn't really get into real reasons why. But I think all the life changes, this big opportunity, and then the postpartum, I had a full crash out. I was really not okay. I was freaking out because I'd signed on to do this show. I didn't know if they were going to be understanding of...

I was like, I didn't know how to explain I'm not okay. Actually, everybody who worked there was a girl. Two of them were pregnant. I have to say everyone at Fox was so nice, so understanding. They gave me a bunch of ways to work through it. They were going And I was just like, Listen, I feel like for the best thing. And I was also like, I didn't realize how much anxiety... I had never really left Ruby before, right? I did my maternity leave. We went to the Hamptons. I have a very amazing, flexible job where I get to be with my baby most of the day. And I never spent that much time away from her. From it before and I was really unhappy. And then pumping in the trailer, it was just... I took on way more than I thought I would. And I felt like, You know what? I have song on TV now more than once. I got to live out my dreams. I did what I came here to do. I do know that if I was in a different place in my life, I would have won. I'm sorry.

I know everybody thinks so. Like, Jenny McCarthy told me when she... And then when Jenny McCarthy came on the tow, it's like that was obviously coordinated with us and Fox, and they were wanting to leave Little Easter egg. Yeah, us and Fox. Yeah, we work with Fox, the network. I don't know if you guys are familiar. I have not heard of it. And so We were talking after, and she was like, We were shook. We really thought you could have won. I'm like, No, I know. And it's like, for a lot of people, they're new to my voice. You obviously are not. I'm not. This is like my party trick. She was so shook. Obviously, she was also really understanding scanning.

No one was more shook than Ken Jong. Oh, my God. Watching him last night. He loves you.

That's my king right there.

He loves you. And Rita loved you, too.

So obviously, they film a lot, and not everything makes it to air. And I was really hoping this one comment made it to air, but it didn't. But Rita Aura was like, Oh, my God. I love your podcast. You host with your sister, right? Because sometimes you're like, not everyone's going to know your podcast. Rita was like, I love your podcast. I'm the biggest Rita Aura fan. Now, she was She was so nice. She would love the podcast. She's like, Your sister. I think she even said red hair. It's your sister. I'm like, Yes, my sister. But she was also the one who guessed Nikki Milansky.

Oh, yeah. And last night, the guesses were even more off.

Yeah. They kept the packages are varied. So they said I was a comedian. They also alluded to viral content, and they just went straight on the more traditional comedian path. So they were guessing Whitney Cummings, Amy Schumer, SNL.

Yeah, SNL last week because it said Live from New York.

But I record my podcast live from New York.

Right. And then this week, they focus more on podcast. They had the C and the J in the studio that you were recording in. Like the CJ, which is such a throwback.

Such a throwback. No, they really do their due diligence. I don't know how much I'm allowed to say. I feel like I really don't want to get in trouble. But you do these meetings before where they ask you a million questions that turn into therapy almost because they really want to know about you, your journey, your journey to startup, rough patches you've been through, great things you've been through. So they do these really in-depth It's like therapy sessions to learn more about you. And that's why the package is like the cuts go so deep. So if you're like an Ogie toaster, it was so obvious. If you just listen to the podcast passively, some of these things might have missed you. But then my secret clue last night was a piece of bread. Yeah. So obviously, that makes sense.

A piece of toast. Also, then last night, they focused more on how you just had a baby, and it was actually a perfect way to sum up your journey. They had Queen Corgi with her. Mini Corgi.

No, it was very emotional.

It was very emotional.

I was Ruby. I was not okay.

I was not okay. And then I was not okay watching you sing. I'm the biggest fan of Queen Corgi. I'm obsessed with the costume.

If Queen Corgi has no fans.

I'm dead. We need to talk about Queen Corgi herself because she's so iconic.

Okay. And let me tell you guys, you are dead ass in that costume. I thought for sure when I signed up, I was like, great. I obviously go to a recording studio and somebody else is in the costume and whatever. No. I'm singing. That microphone is on. I just thought there was no way. I thought there was an element of TV magic to it, whether I'm not actually singing I'm not actually in the costume. No, you are singing live. And I feel like you can hear me breathing because it's very hard. You are in the full fucking costume and you are singing completely live in front of a studio audience. The whole thing is real to tape. It's live to tape. I thought it was for sure like movie Magic in iMovie. No, guys, I was in there. Not only am I just such a temperature person, I'm also breastfeeding and postpartum. I was sweating. Did you give you a little bit of opportunity to touch up before you might be unmasking. So shout out to Hailey. I feel like everyone's talking about my glam, Hailey Hoff. That's my girl in LA, so I knew I was going to look sick.

I feel like I actually looked amazing. And a lot of people are also talking about my hair. And I believe I did my own hair. I'm trying to remember.

Yeah, I was giving Trezame. I was giving $100,000.

I feel like I need a hair commercial after that.

I agree.

Yeah, like Trezame, come find me.

I agree with that.

No, the makeup was slang. So you're wearing the most insane You start off in this full- Your costume was really huge because I saw some of the other costumes, they weren't at...

Like, yours was like a mascot.

Yes. Oh, my God. Justice for every mascot.

I'm sorry. She was dressed to the T. She had a purse. She was so fucking cute.

And if you really look Up close, there are a lot of clues about me in the costume, like my pins and stuff, the purse. It was so cute. It's insane, the operation. I've never been on, besides for doing a tour, I've never been on a TV lot before. So it's like so entourage. They take you in a golf cart everywhere, like to wardrobe, to vocal warmups. Oh, shout out to Tim, my vocal coach. He's coached a lot of winners, and that's obviously why they paired him with me. Little didn't know I was going to withdraw from the competition.

I'm withdrawing from the competition.

And by the way, they have the voice. It's so crazy, like the tech. They have the voice changer on your microphone. So really, nobody heard me the whole time. I thought that was added after. No, no. The whole thing is really legit. They do not mess around there. They take it so seriously. And so I was on the golf cart being taken to vocal warmups and then dress rehearsal. And they also had made a special schedule for me to have feedings in between. So I was pumping and also feeding. Ben was coming with Rue. It was a lot.

It is a lot.

It was a lot. I'm so glad that I did it. And I literally lived my dream of singing on TV. And then especially when I took the mask off, by the way, did anybody notice? Not me not opening my eyes the entire time. Once the mask was off and they let you sing. Because you're shy. They let you sing one more time. I was actually being shy. I've never song. I'm not a singer.

You would never know. The singing was insane.

Oh, that part I knew I was going to slay the house down boots on.

The song choice last night, which isn't usually in your repertoire.

So they sent me a bunch of songs, and they were really amenable. I'm so specific. I have five karaoke songs, and I wanted to sing all them. I really wanted to sing Valerie, but somebody had already sung it. And it's a hallmark performance in the Massinger Hall of Fame.

Who was it?

I don't know. They were like, Don't mess with it. I'm like, Okay, I'm not doing it. So they recommend Unstoppable, and it's not a song I've ever song. And so I was immediately going to be like, No. And Ben was like, Okay, Cardboard Koji, give it a chance. And the thing is about these songs, that's what I really learned when working with the vocal. They arrange it. So if it's not in your key, they make it in your key. So they were like, give it a chance. And during one of my vocal training sessions over Zoom, leading up to the show, they were like, just try it. We'll find the right key for you. And I knew instantly. I'm like, oh, Slay the house down boots. I sounded so good. That's why it's really important to be open to new things. But my voice is so personal to me. My singing, I'm just like, I'm not a professional singer. This is just my hobby. And I take it so seriously. So I was glad that I tried something new because I thought I sounded amazing.

You sounded amazing, but also the song and the message. It's such an amazing song. It's chilling. That hasn't And it had been resurface in 10 years. When it came out, it was Unstoppable. And it was the perfect song for you, vocally and also message-oriented.

It's not lost on me that I'm singing Unstoppable the night that I decided to stop singing in the competition.

Stop the show, but Unstoppable breastfeater. Unstoppable mama.

Unstoppable mother. Unstoppable businesswoman.

She's just doing mass singer on her way. Like, on her way.

Guys.

It's just a stop on the way.

When they told me I was doing it, my first reaction was like, Obviously, I'm not. I'm not in a place to do it. And then everyone really rallied around me, Ben, specifically being like, Listen, Ben knows my dream is to sing. So he was being like, You have to do it. And I was like, Yeah, I have to do it. And leading up to the actual move, I was having so much anxiety. You know what, man? I don't go anywhere.

No, it was literally days before.

It was a real game time decision. I almost pulled out at the 11th hour because I'm like, This is so crazy. I'm not going to take my whole family and breastfeed. We did a six-hour flight. The whole concept was so crazy to me. But I was like, You know what? I'm doing it like Yolo, true Yolo. And once I had gotten two performances under my belt, I was like, You know what? I'm okay walking away. And yes, of course, it was nice of me to give some other people a chance because obviously I would have won. Let me tell you, they take it so seriously. I did not know one other person. I've been watching live with everyone. I'm dying to know who's on my season. Okay, Taradjee P. Hensen?

Yeah.

Okay. Tiffany Hadish. Like a big season for women in comedy.

Were the croissants revealed yet? Because I feel like I saw clues as to who they were, and I think that's who they are.

So I was being... I don't know if everybody else cares as much about the other contestants, but I'm also... I'm still me. Right. So during dress rehearsals, you can hear. I'm listening so hard. I have this video. I have my head up against my... I share a trailer. So the trailer is split with a wall. It's not like a real wall. I have my ear up so close. I hear this guy. I don't know who it was. I felt like it was an athlete because he was talking about how he's not a professional singer. And Big Papy, who was the famous... I want to say Yankee? He was just unmasked a couple of weeks ago. I think it was him. I don't know. I heard someone else. She's still in the competition. I'm not going to say who I think it is, but other people on I do think that it's her, too. I did hear the Chrisleys, and I was like, sorry, I heard the croissants, and I'm like, Oh, that's the Chrisleys. They sing Jailhouse Rock. They had just gotten out of jail. The Chrisleys- There's two of them. There were two croissants.

I figured it out myself. I was literally playing the game. I don't know who wins. I don't know who's still in the competition. People online are guessing, and I have similar guesses, but I have no information. I have no intel on my fellow-Your fellow mast singers. I'm dying to know who Pug Casa is because that's who I sing up against. People online say it's Matthew Morris, and you guys just don't understand. I was in the same room as this person, but we were wearing our mask. So if I was in the same room as Matthew Morrison, I will die.

I don't think it was Matthew Morrison. I saw some guesses, and then there was one that I thought was the most compelling, and it was some guy from Hamilton.

Anthony Ramos. Yeah. Yeah. They think it's now Anthony Ramos or Cordover Street.

Before they thought it was Cordover Street, but his package didn't- I know.

Give Corde. So I also think it's Cordover Street, and I'm actually friends with Cordover Street. I just want to text him and ask. But you understand we're in the same room, we're battling against each other and we don't know who it is. And it's someone I know. I really wanted to be Matthew Marson.

Just for the lure. Oh, yeah. For me. For the lure. So we'll wait to find out when he gets unmasked. Or she.

No, it's a she. I mean, it's a he. It is a hey. It's a hey. Oh, and I have so many TikToks to post you guys. I was in the trailer, and I don't know, I feel like I might get in trouble. I was filming so much. I mean, it's so secretive. They're dead-ass serious about it. And I was like, I can't even make TikToks. I didn't ask. I just filmed them. I just wait for somebody to LMA.

No, I feel like it's great. Once everything's revealed, I feel like it's pop off Queen Corgi.

Pop off Queen Corgi.

Queen Corgi.

I know that Robin Thicke had no idea who I was. I know Rita and Jenny did. Ken, I just feel like is just happy to be there.

Ken just loves you and your voice.

And Robin, I feel like he's perfect at guessing some of the actual music people, especially from a little bit older. So I know Robin had no idea who he was, and he was just happy for me. He was just like, go, girl.

Do your thing.

Do your thing.

Go to your baby.

I feel like we talk about the mass singer all the time because famously, I was asked to audition a couple of years ago when they passed on me. You were? Oh, yeah. I sent in a video. Oh. They were like, Massinger's interested. Can you send a video of you singing? I was like, I absolutely say less. This was five years ago. And then I never heard back and they were like, Yeah, they went in another direction. I'm like, Okay, that's fine. And then, of course, it comes at just an inconvenient time for me, and I could not pass up the opportunity. And I'm really glad that I did it. It was so crazy. It will go down in history, like something I'll be telling my grandkids that I did. It's so unreal.

No, and it was just so much fun for the community.

That's why I did it. I knew when there was rumors starting, I had hoped that when I was on the show, a couple of tosters would be watching and starting secrets about me on TikTok and stuff. And it happened in a bigger way. I didn't know people were going to figure it out so quickly. But I literally did it for the... I'm a podcaster. People know my voice. My voice is my trade. Trade. Raid. So I had a feeling people were going to figure it out and it was going to be really fun for the tosters to play along. And so I really feel like I did it for the lore. I did it for the community.

No, you absolutely had to.

I had to. Yeah.

And for me, it's my new favorite show. It's so good. We need the costume.

We need Queen Corgi. I know. I was trying to steal stuff from set, but when I went, they do this post-show interview where you just talk about your experience and they have all the masks ever. So it's an important part of their history. They don't give it away. I wanted my microphone.

I couldn't take I understand. Yeah. But if they ever need to free up space in the storage room, please send us.

We need Queen Corgi on the- We need her.

I love her.

She's so cute.

She's precious.

I'm going to cry, but she was obviously like an odd to Theo. Of course. So when they were asking if there are any animals that mean a lot to me, I'm like, well, King Charles Cavaliers. And if they had made me a dog who's a King Charles Cavalier, that would have been too obvious. So instead of making me a King Charles, they made me a Queen Corgi. It's brilliant. And they know we're obsessed with the royal family. One of our viral moments is us dressing up as the royal family. So it was very much a nod to Queen Elizabeth. It was a nod to you, my queeny girl. You're so Queen Elizabeth. My purse and my shoes were so you. It was a nod to all things to. They really, I feel like I handled my story so beautifully.

They treated your story with care and love. And it's crazy that they do that for everyone.

I know. It's so crazy. Does everybody else get choked up watching their own packages? I think so, right?

I'm sorry. And Little Corgi?

No, that was actually too much. I hadn't seen that. So I obviously was there for my performances. I know what the judges said. I knew what to expect for most of it, but I didn't see the packages. They had me record some voiceover stuff, so I had an idea of what it was going to look like, but I didn't know I was getting an AI generated Like, cub. Insane. Insane. So cute.

So cute. I keep looking at the picture and it's a better one.

I have a picture on my phone, but I want a better one. I'll ask them for the HD. We have to frame that, too. It's so cute.

I get it in the frames.

That's what the frames have been waiting for. Oh, and then the craziest part is that my room at Jackie's house, obviously, I have an en suite bathroom. It's beautiful. You've made it lovely for me. And when you were redecorating it, you got a piece of art for the bathroom. It's a picture of a Corgi.

It's a King Charles Cavalier. Okay.

It's a picture of a King Charles Cavalier dressed up as a royal. It's wearing a crown, a cape. It's Queen Corgi. I have to post a picture on my Instagram, you guys. It's freaky. When I went to your house for the first time after We're having filmed that, I was like...

You're having flashbacks.

Who are you? On the other side of the house. It's your husband. It's my husband. It's King Corgi.

Your husband is coming.

We have to film a TikTok with that thing. It's a craziest thing. We will. Where'd you get that piece of art?

Wayfair.

You've got just what I need.

Wayfair, you got just what I need. That's also why you've been singing so much.

Of course. And I was trying to leave like, hints for everyone.

There were so many hints from us in the show.

From my interview with Jenny. Yeah. We slayed. I just want to say Taylor Swift could never do what we've done here.

Oh, my gosh. It's been a pleasure.

It has been a pleasure. Now, there's going to be a full episode. Okay, so we released an episode this morning. Yesterday, after all the chili talk, we did want to make a chili, and we got together to watch the Metzinger, like my a masking episode. So everybody's getting together. We had to make dinner. So we ended up, of course, making a chili. We vlogged the whole thing, our big night.

It's actually a hysterical vlog.

Something crazy happens in the vlog. We're making chili. It's Jackie's recipe, Jackie's house. She won't even let me do anything besides open cans. And five minutes after After we start cooking, Jackie realizes that she has a meeting. So she leaves me... We've already started. The onions are- I just completely planned poorly.

I don't know why I thought I had- I had to make the chili all by myself.

I couldn't even open the cans. It was insane.

I thought I had 25 minutes, but I had five minutes.

Yeah, I made dinner all by myself. It was insane.

Yeah. And I had the recipe written down, so that's all she had to go on. It's like Great British bake-off. That's what they do. They get a recipe that's loosely written, and you have to figure it out.

That's funny.

Yeah. They don't tell you exactly how long you cook for, exactly how much. They're like, mix the flour and the sugar. And you're like, okay. But they're professional bakers. It was great chili bake-off.

So that blog is on Patreon. And then tomorrow, we're asking people to submit questions about my experience on the show. And we're going to be here recording a Q&A answering everything from BTS things, some of the challenges I went through. I really don't want to get into it so deep. It was a very challenging time for me. Every time I talk about it, I start crying. I'll talk about it on Patreon, but very challenging time for Koji. I thought I was... I don't know why I thought I was immune to any postpartum blues or anything or anxiety. I don't even know what to call it, but I was not okay. I was actually not okay. And shout out to everyone at Fox, Haley, Zina, Madison, Logan, the girls, helping me out. Everyone ushered me through. I think they could see I was not okay, and they really made it a wonderful experience for me. I look back on that time very fondly now, even though it was a dark emotional time me.

So you say Fox supports mamas?

Absolutely. I would say Fox supports mamas.

And women.

Yes. And everyone there was pregnant. When I saw the Fox exec who I had never met, but I know she was in charge, and she was pregnant, I was like, Thank fucking God. And She was a swirly. She was a toaster, Haley. So I was like, I spoke to her this morning. I was feeling- It's always a relief when you meet a swirly. It's so true.

When you're in swirly hands. Yeah.

Pregnant swirly hands.

It's done. The softest. The softest.

So that will be coming to Patreon, but there's already a vlog up there. It is just a regular episode, even though I'm having this huge moment. It always happens on the toast where I feel like, what's the phrase? The more things change, the more they stay the same. I feel like so many times throughout history, we've had insane, huge highs, lows happen on the toes, but we still have to show up and do the episode. And that's today. It's like, What do you mean we're talking about things that aren't Queen Corgi related?

Well, you know what? Queen Corgi is in the stories because Queen Corgi is making news. So we are going to talk about her a little more, but we'll get into the stories to talk about her more, and then we'll talk about everything else. Claudia and I watched Chloe and Wonderland together yesterday.

We did watch Chloe and Wonderland. Sorry, the Tell Me Lies recap. Obviously, we were not watching Tell Me Lies last night. Obviously not. I'll try tonight. But tomorrow will be Traitor's recap. I am watching Traitors.

Tonight? Oh, it's one episode.

It's one episode. Okay. We'll stay on track. I think it's more important that we stay on track of our Traitors.

Traitors.

Traitors. You know who was liking my content last night? Maura. Did you see my close friend's story today? No. I shared. Colton Underwood was liking my reels, like about the math singer. Maybe he's on this season. Maybe he's Pacaso.

That would be good for him.

Yeah. He gets cast all the time.

I'm trying to think. I'm not pro-culted. If he saw some of our clips, I don't know. I feel like sometimes in an episode, we're anti and we're pro. We argue both sides.

No, I feel like last week I went really hard being like, I'm not about this man and his demonic behavior. And I reminded everybody about what actually happened between him and Cassie.

But two weeks ago, we said he's playing the game amazing. Yeah. He's amazing.

Maybe he's just a big mass singer fan. He's incredible. Maybe he's not a fan of me. He's a fan of Queen Corgi.

Queen Corgi. I love your work.

Cardboard Corgi.

Cardboard Corgi. No, she likes to spend.

No, she's very lux and elegant.

She spends. She drops a coin.

I mean, you should see... First of all, I felt like, you know in the Taylor Swift documentary? She has that stage built just to rehearse. And it's in a... I don't know where it is. It's like an airport hangar. They had one of those where I had to practice all my choreography. It was so Aristora.

Your core geography?

My core geography, yeah. Which was almost impossible to do.

Does Corgi like to pop and lock and jam and break?

As much as she can. During my first rehearsals, and I have all the videos. I wonder if I'm allowed to pose them. They were like, Can you move a little bit more? And I was like, No. I literally can't. So a lot of my moves were just walking, and I could move my arms. I could not move my legs. So it was a lot of like... But the legs, I had to do one kick. And a lot of. Yeah, of course. I had to do one kick and Unstoppable. I swear to God, I thought I was going to the hospital. It was insane.

That is hysterical. Well, let's get into the story so we could talk about you some more.

I love that. I love when the pre Fast Five banner is a vehicle just to talk more about ourselves.

Without further aduda-duda-doo, here are the Fast Five stories that you, that do need to know.

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So our first story, someone who needs no Nutraffoll because she's furry as Buck, Massinger contested- I was like me, right? Queen Corgi, shockingly withdraws seconds before elimination reveal. So what's so crazy is what you did was so unprecedented. Yes. You shook up the show.

I wasn't aware at the time that it was a huge deal. They keep saying it was I'm the first person to ever do it. I believe one or two people... I mean, there's 14 seasons. One or two people have done it historically. I said it on the show, and I'll say it here again, I left to spend time with my family, and I felt like I was just missing. It's crazy. They grew up so fast. I felt like he was so old then, four months. I was like, Yeah, he's huge. He's eight months now. I know I made the right decision. I haven't looked back once. I haven't had one regret. I totally made the right decision. I got to do both, live out my dreams, but also prioritize my family and my babes. So yeah, not me. He's setting precedent.

Yeah, not you setting precedent. Ruby out in the streets of LA.

He loved it, by the way. He was fine. I was not.

You think he's an LA California boy?

I mean, the weather. That's why he loves it here. And that's why we literally haven't gone home. He's so outdoorsy.

Oh, that's so cute.

And he was living his best life in LA. And shout out to Ben for just being so supportive. I had to before bed last night. It was like we closed a chapter, and I was like, By the way, thanks. I don't know if I said that yet. He was literally being primary caregiver, being so supportive, driving me around, just doing everything, coming to set for feedings, leaving. Really, A plus supportive partner. Cannot thank him enough.

Yeah. I'm just so obsessed with the whole thing. No, it's so cute. All of the content is so cute. I know. I can't stop watching the Unstoppable clip. But after Don't Rain on My Parade, I watched that a million times.

I watched Don't Rain on My Parade 10,000 times. I don't regret choosing that song, I just want to say. But I didn't really think about... I can't lie. Up until I got there, I really thought I wasn't actually going to be singing in the costume. I thought I would prerecord it and slay the house down boots. But having to do it in the costume, I feel like I didn't deliver my best possible vocal performance. And it's a deep cut. Yes, true artists and people with good taste know that song. But I'm singing on a big network show, and the guy was singing against, Sing Ordinary by Alex Warren. Everybody loved it. I wish I chose a little bit more of a commercial pop radio hit, but it was true to me, and it was my journey. But I do wish I maybe, I don't know, I wish I chose a different song.

Yeah, because you would have won your round, which would have felt good because it doesn't feel good to lose.

But I think- But not them putting me up against the best singer. I feel like Pug Casa wins. That was uncool of them. Why couldn't they put me up against the Chrisleys?

Is this a piece from Hamilton? Yeah, please. Or Clee.

Someone It was actually out to get me when they were putting me up against Pug Casa. It's like my episode of Say yes to the Dress, and they put me up against the girl who lost her house in a flood. Right. Not cool. That was insane that they did that. I will never stop talking about that.

It is. If you just watch- If you If you watch half the episode, it's a good episode. If you watch the whole thing- If you fast forward through anything that's not Claudia, not for any reason.

She lost her whole house, including her wedding dress, so they give her a free dress. But then they're so moved by her story. They paid for her whole wedding. And I'm over here in New York being like, I don't feel like this dress is nice enough. So obnoxious and jappy. Like, They did me so fucking dirty on the show. Massinger would never.

Messinger would never. But I feel like true people who appreciate art.

And theater and theatrics and music. Yeah, of course.

It's like such a- Could see that yours was better. The judges were shocked that you didn't win because it was fan vote. It was like audience voted.

Yeah. So I also think anybody who knows music, not to be obnoxious, would know how much harder my song was to sing than his. So he's singing this easy-ass song in his costume, and singing this power ballad. One of the toughest, but only the true Barbara, Lee and Michelle, only the greats can sing that song. Sorry. That's so true. That's it to my own horn, but I deserve more credit.

It's so true. I'm looking at the rest of the people who are still in.

I have my theories on who everyone is.

Oh, can we do it?

Okay.

I think that- Okay, so first is Stingray.

I have no idea. There's a lot of people who are... Oh, my God. There are a lot of people who are I'm their target demo, sorry. And then there's somebody who's like a Motown singer. I definitely don't know who that is. The athletes, I probably don't know.

Yeah, there was a famous boxer who was unmasked week one.

But I knew the Chrisleys. I didn't know Big Papy. I can't lie. I'm not being a Big Papy. I knew Tarajy P. Hensen.

I don't see Big Papy here.

We have David Ortiz. Okay, that's Big Papy. Are you okay? I'm like, Did I make that up? No, I'm pretty sure he was there.

Oh, and he's not a boxer. He's a boss in Red Sox. But that's like- I didn't say boxer. I did. But I just read Boston Red Sox as box. I feel it's fair. Okay, that is fair. Okay, so Stingray, you don't know. Snow cone?

I'm pretty sure is Heidi Pratt.

Okay, yeah, that's what everyone's saying. Picasso?

I'm sticking with Cordova Street.

I just want to say this Pug costume costume She's gorgeous.

She's gorgeous. I know.

Next, pangolin.

I don't know. Owl. I don't know.

High voltage. I don't know. Galaxy Girl.

I think it's Ashley Simpson.

I think it's Bridget Menler.

Oh, that's a good guess because Galaxy.

Everything was about space, and she went left.

She was a child actress who left to become an astronaut. Not actress, though. Child star. That's why I think it's Ashley Simpson.

But she was a child star who left to become an astronaut.

Okay, but last night's clue was that she tied her hair to black from Brunette to leave her family behind. That's so Ashley Simpson.

Maybe Bridget Manler did that in her personal life. She didn't. Crane?

No clue. Eggplant? No clue. That's a tough costume. That's a crazy costume. So on the doors of everyone's trailer, it won't say Claudia Ostrade. It says, Queen Corgi in a picture of the costume. And my trailer was nearby the eggplant, and I was like, Thank God that's not me. That's insane.

Carret Carret?

It's a 24 Carret. Yeah, I don't know. That was somebody new from last night's episode, and that was I feel like Robin Thicke knew who it was because it's a Motown singer. I have no idea.

Oh, okay. And then Calla Lily. That's a beautiful costume.

I think Calla Lily is Teddy Melencamp. She sing fight song, talking about this health journey. And I know Teddy. I know that voice. She's also a cool podcast.

I saw that clip and I saw the clues, and I agree. I think that's a good one.

Scarab was Taradjee P. Hensen. And then I forgot what costume was, but that was Tiffany Hadish.

Yeah, she was like Lee Lau.

Yeah, something like that.

Lee Who Who.

That was Tiffany Hadish.

Very exciting. Yeah. It's a very exciting thing. I know.

It's the craziest thing I have and ever will do.

A hundred %.

It will go down in five years. You know how we look back? And there's so many random crazy things we've done. Remember when Kanye gave us his song to premiere on the Toast, before he was Kanye. We've done so many crazy things, and I feel like we'll forget about this one, but we need to add it to the list. We need to start a list of crazy things we've done that we always forget about.

I'm happy to start a list.

Massinger is going to be one of them. Okay, list. And guys, sound off in the comments because you guys remember better than us. What are wild toast things that we've accomplished or done that we never talk about? The Kanye thing is crazy.

Yeah, Kanye closed on Sunday.

That was hilarious, too. That was not... And I need people to sound off in the comments because we don't remember them. Because we don't remember them. Yeah. I think it's our way of dealing with whatever.

Yeah.

Anything else coming to mind?

No, I have to think about things my friends text me about. They're like, Oh, my God. I'm like, Oh.

Yes, that's exactly it.

I guess that is a big deal.

My high school friend Anna was like, Clutter, are you on the show? I'm like, Yeah. I hadn't told them.

For the last Oh my God was Zack when we got nominated for an iHeartRadio podcast award.

That's huge. Oh, I low-key I have a Shorty Award. I forget about that all the time. I have been nominated for two People's Choice Awards, but I lost both of them. One time to Jacob Sartorius. So seriously, don't talk to me.

What did you just say?

Shorty Award. Things that are a big deal, what we just forget about.

Yeah. And also, I think what happens is we do something that we know is a big deal, but we have to do it in silence. We don't tell anyone that it's happening or that we got this. And then by the time it comes out, it's like, Oh, yeah, we did that.

I was around the Massinger six months ago.

Yeah. So that was Messinger. We knew it was a big deal when you were doing it, but we couldn't talk about And now it's like, Oh, yeah, that did happen six months ago. Yeah.

I also just want credit for how good I was making up that lie. Oh, and my apartment flooding? Lol. It was fine. It was such a crazy week because I moved apartments and then moved to LA for two weeks. And it's like, what's wrong with Koji? And I was like, well, I can't pretend I'm picking up and moving to LA if there's not something wrong in my apartment. My apartment's fabulous. There's no problem with it. I can't wait to get back there. Yeah.

Well, that's enough messing her for now.

I'm sorry I lied to you guys. I don't lie. I'm sorry. I try to be as open and honest. There was no way to not- With what I share to not.

I had to. Yeah.

I also thought it was airing live. So I was like, how am I really going to convince people that it's not me if I'm in LA and it's airing live? Yeah. But no, it was better that it wasn't. Yeah.

More Massinger recap coming tomorrow on Patreon. Submit your questions. Every little detail about my singer, how turdy pulled it off in the Patreon. Yeah. Next story, Kim Kardashian on Chloe in Wonderland. She finally reveals the truth. So she says about behind the deleted party photos of Prince Harry and Megan Markle.

We watched a whole episode, I think, with the exception of the last maybe 10 minutes. It was only 37 minutes, and I feel like they should have released one banger episode, not two mediocre parts, because the part that we watched yesterday was so boring.

I think it took us four hours to watch it.

We kept pausing. We were just waiting, really, for the Megan Markel thing. They did touch very briefly on Lahrsa, but the whole thing with Kim, and I guess that's her. I think it's her personal philosophy. It's like, nothing's a big deal. She doesn't like to make big deals out of things. So Lahrsa, I love Lahrsa. We just report our kids. They're so close. Megan Markel, oh, yeah, she's fine. She's friends of mom. Everything is just very casual.

She doesn't want to burn bridges also. Which I respect.

So don't make it seem like it's this big ass Juicy podcast episode. She said what the media had said at the time about those pictures of Megan and Harry.

Yeah. So first she said a couple of things. She said that whenever they post pictures from an event, they always get approval for everyone that they can post that photo of that person, which is really a kind and time consuming thing to do.

They also... Chloe had said, We have ratchet pictures, too. We know never to share those. These are just the nice event photography photos of everyone smiling.

They reach out. They said that they could post them. Then Kim posted it, and she said, They must have forgotten that it was Remembrance Day, and they didn't want to be seen at a party. Chloe was being shady. Yes, she was. Chloe was being shady and giving us a glimmer of the truth. She was like, But they were at Baby to to me before. And Kim was like, Yeah, well, that's a charity event, and this was just a party. So they didn't want to be seen at a party on Remembrance Day. But within there, there's a lot. There's a lot for us to work with.

Kim also said, So they asked us to delete it. She actually didn't say that, but she inferred.

She said, We were told that it was... This is the quote. We were told that it was totally cool to post. And then after it was posted, I think they realized it was Remembrance Day, first bit of shade. They forgot Remembrance Day when they make it as such a big deal. And they didn't want to be seen at a party, even though it's already up and then taken down. And then I think they realized, Oh, this was so silly. She said that going to the Baby to Baby gala earlier may have been fine, maybe not partying and dancing on the dance floor or whatever. So we took them down to respect Remembrance Day, she said to Chloe.

Yes. So that's pretty much a confirmation that they were asked to take them down because why, no offense, would Kim care about Remembrance Day? And then how stupid it was because the pictures were already out and it became a bigger story that they were out on Remembrance Day when nobody even thought that. Yeah, I got the vibe that Chloe doesn't like Megan, and they made sure to say that Megan is friends with mom. Yeah. Not that she's a family friend. She said, Megan and mom have been friends for some years, just voicing the friendship onto Chris, which I thought was interesting to him.

I felt like Kim was very diplomatic about it. She doesn't even want to burn the bridge with Lahrsa or Brittany Gaspard. She We're certainly not going to burn a bridge with the Sussexes and talk trash. Chloe gave us a bit more of a glimmer into how they thought the whole thing was so stupid and performative because you go to Baby to Baby, but you can't be seen here.

Chloe was definitely hate. I don't know what happened behind closed doors, but I know Chloe was mad.

I also know that the way Kim said it was very kind, but there- It was annoying. It was a drama. Anyways, then Kim said, You've got to laugh at the situation sometimes and just lighten it up and be if everyone's taking the wrong way, lean in. Kim said, I was like, We should do a full Skims campaign. Take the photo, even just us. I'll shoot you at mom, post it, and then delete it 30 minutes later and then say, Oh, sorry, I didn't have permission to post those photos for the campaign. She said, The drama would have been received differently if they made it light and made it funny.

She's completely right. Yeah, even though that Skims idea is a bad idea, and Megan would never.

Well, they should have. That's a little too silly, but if they did a Skims campaign with Megan, it would have debunked the idea that they were all beefing. Skims campaigns are great for everyone. I'm sure they could have done something really tasteful. Megan has a certain look that- It doesn't have to be underwear.

It could be pajamas. No.

It could be sweaters, crew neck sweaters, like something very Megan, belts. I don't know. I think that would have been great. And smooth the whole thing over. But Kim was also saying in a very polite and diplomatic way, their PR is incredibly stupid. This is proof of that. I think it's them making bad choices. That to me is the shock. It's like, you really thought that deleting picture that was already up by the most followed woman in the world would somehow smooth over the fact that you went out on Remembrance Day?

No, it makes people forget. It's giving my first day on planet Earth.

No, it really is.

It's so dumb. And it just everything I'm saying that the NPR, it's always handled so poorly. I feel like we just reported what they went through, their 11th publicist in the last four years. It's clearly them steering that ship because any person who's worked in publicity for more than one day would know Leading a picture makes it a bigger thing. It's already out there. It's on Kim's Instagram. It's not on some lowly friend's Instagram. Handled so poorly.

You just don't think people at that level are going to be so amateur.

Yeah, amateur.

It actually- It's shocking. It confounds me. It doesn't make sense because she's a very smart woman.

Who's been in this business. It's not her first day. It's like she met Harry in a pub and she was working as a waitress. She has been in this business for 20 years.

And she's been at this level of royal plus.

Now for I like eight.

I don't understand.

It's shocking. Amateur is the perfect word for it. Very naive. Naive at best.

It's an insult to the amateur. It's like, to the point that it doesn't make sense.

Naive at best, negligent at worst.

Yeah, I don't know. Anyway, so thanks. I'm glad that they addressed it.

Yeah, but that was the one thing- That was mad boring. That Wesley Snipes story put me to bed.

Oh, my God. The Wesley Snipes story. I don't really want to get to get to get to get to I don't want it to take up more of my life than it already has. When I watched it. But what? Not even the story.

She was like, You have to tell your Wesley Snipes story. You really don't.

Let me tell you, I hate that form of conversation so much. Tell that story. Not even as a podcast, but with friends, when someone's like, Oh, my God, tell the story. Unless it just happened when they're like, Wait, tell this story. No.

You've been on TV for 20 years. You've been on Instagram. Storytelling is your life, and we've never heard this story. There's a reason. The story, there's a reason. Yeah. It was the whole conversation about how Kim's amazing at manifesting. Like, Girl, miss me with that. Here's my list of 50 manifestations from an ex-boyfriend. Sense of humor. Like, Girl, it was just so low-level conversation.

And the Wesley Snipes story.

Yeah, Jackie's still at the restaurant.

And the Wesley Snipes story. I don't even think made Wesley look good.

What are you doing taking out an underage girl to breakfast? It was weird.

And he was obviously doing nothing nefarious. No. Tell this girl to stay out of the clubs. Like, your life is so just about to start.

Basically, Kim goes out in New York with her friend. She's not from New York, and she ends up at this after-party at an apartment. All of her friends, she gets lost. She's by herself. She has no money. She leaves this random apartment building, and she has no money to get home. She just has the address of her friend's house on her palm, and she's in the lobby, and She didn't know it at the time, but it's Wesley Snipes. She's like, Sir, I think he was getting into a cab or taking a car. He was like, Will you please drop me off at this address? Instead, he takes her to breakfast and says, Girl, you're on a bad path, and then takes her home. Weird. We Third story. The intended message, the intended effect was not received.

What are people saying about it?

They're not.

Has Wesley responded?

Part two hasn't made as many waves as part one. They should have done one big ass episode.

I keep seeing headlines, Wesley said, I've saved my life?

That's the- Oh, and that's the other thing. He didn't save her life because she just needed to get home, and he took her out of the way to breakfast.

And she wasn't on a bad path. It was her first time going to a party.

It was daylight. It's not like he did save her from this dark path. She She didn't drink then. She didn't drink after. She was not on this dark path. She just got lost. It was not what... Yeah.

So, yeah. Are you ready for our next story? Justin Bieber will perform at the Grammys.

First time in a while, he's performed.

Justin Bieber will perform at the Grammys Awards this weekend. Alert Grammys are this weekend. We were just talking about that yesterday. The Recording Academy confirmed marking Bieber's first time performing on Music's Biggest Night since 2022. He is up four Grammys this year, including Album of the Year for Swag, which was not Peep-Poop-Poo-Poo after all. No, it wasn't. And that was his first album since 2021. He's also up for Best Pop Local Performance, Best Pop Local Album, and Best R&B Performance.

Good for him. So the headline here is Haley Bieber's Going to the Grammys. And now I feel like I must watch. Taylor's not going, so it wasn't my year to tune in to the very first minute to the last minute. If I was in the bed and it was on, I'd probably watch it. Now I will be tuning in to see... I would like to see Justin perform. It's been a while. He had the tour, and then he had the health issues. He turned, ended it. I'd like to see Haley. Who else is going to be there? Who's here is it?

Did we do Grammy nominations?

We did. It was a while ago.

Maybe you did them without me.

Oh, I did.

Oh, okay. Can we go through them a little bit? Like a little pre-grammy show?

Who's big year is it? Bad Bunny. It's always his year.

Okay. The Grammy website doesn't work.

Sabrina, I think, is nominated for some stuff, but it's not her big year either. Who's here is it? I feel like it's going to come to me when you pull When I say, record of the year, Bad Bunny, Sabrina, Doche, Billy Eilish.

Oh, the songs are DTMF, Bad Bunny, Man Child, Sabrina, Anxiety, Doche, Wildflower, Billy Eilish, Abracadabra, Lady Gaga. I didn't know any of this. Luther, Kendrick Lamar, The Subway, Chaperone, Apata, Rose, Bruno Mars. I don't know.

It doesn't sound like it's anyone's year. I feel like sometimes it comes in. There's somebody with two people with huge nominations. I feel like Sabrina's year. Last year, Olivia Rodrigo had a year. Lizzo had a year. Billy... Who is it?

There's no clear front runner for me because the albums of the year, nominees that I listened to, which were Sabrina and Lady Gaga, Man's Bedfriend and Mayhem. I don't think they need to be out. What other albums are there? Bad Bunny's album, Justin Bieber's Swag, Let God Sort Him Out by Clips Push a T in Malice, Kendrick Lamar, Gnx, Leon Thomas, Mutt, Tyler, the Creator, Croma Pacopia.

Yeah, it's feeling like Bad Bunny's Year with the Super Bowl.

Okay, I'll watch a little bit.

Yeah, I'll watch.

What's going on in the country category?

Probably a bunch of Luke Holmes erasure.

For sure. Betts country solo performance. Tyler Childers. Oh, Shibuzi. Good news. Chris Stapleton, Zack Top, Laney Wilson. Okay, whatever.

I bet Laney Wilson wins. Yeah. So Haley is going to the Grammys. It's like how Kylie is going to the Oscars. Just the girly is holding it down.

The girly is taking over.

The girly is garnering good ratings.

The girly is going where no girly has gone before.

Because who would want to go to the Oscars? Honestly, if somebody said, Claudia, I will give you a front road ticket to the Oscars. I would go, obviously.

Because you can say no, but you would want to say no.

And I just feel like I really would not have a good time. It looks so boring the whole time, three hours, insufferable speeches. No, thanks.

Oh, no. At least the Golden Globes, you get a meal.

No, and at least... A hot meal. No, and at least... Actually, I guess you do get performances. You get performances at the Oscars, right? That's true. You get six of the best song performances.

Yeah.

So you would get Golden We're going up, up, up. It's our moment. I should have sang that on the last thing. I should have sang that against Ordinary.

They opened the season with Golden.

Oh, Rita Ora saying it, my queen. One thing about me, you will not have to be saying one bad word about Rita Ora ever.

I don't think we ever have. No. I don't think we ever would.

I wish she ended up with Rob Kardashian, but other than that, it's fine.

It's not too late.

No, she married well.

She's fine. It is too late. Our next story, Barbara Corcoran recalls faking her own death on her 70th birthday party. She said her friends found her dead in a coffin.

One thing about Barbara is she's insane.

So she revealed all the details of the surprise funeral she arranged for her 70th birthday party during a conversation with Boardrooms Damian Scott on Tuesday. During their chat, the host asked her to tell them about the unconventional party that she threw and whether her guests really thought she was dead. She said, I had the best party of the century, no doubt about it. My friends were going to give me a surprise party, and I got wind of it for my good girlfriend. She always spoils things. She just has a of doing it, Liz. That's funny. So when Liz told me they were planning a surprise party, I said, I'm going to turn the tables and surprise them. And she was in a coffin.

It's like that episode of Curb. Somebody throws himself like a fake funeral just to see what people say. And he's upstairs, livestreaming it, the whole thing. And he wants to see the speeches. It's very funny because the thing about a funeral, it's like, FOMO. You know? Totally. Everyone in your whole life that you've ever known is there saying the nicest things about you eating food. And I'm like, I'm dead? I don't think so.

Do you remember that show from growing up? I think it was called Maybe It's Me. No. It was on the WB. She had a cookey grandma who wanted to be alive for her own funeral because she wanted to hear what everyone had to say about her. She planned her funeral while she was living. It was like a sitcom so that she could hear the eulogies.

I've never heard of that show.

I mean, you were there. It was like a blonde girl.

Maybe it's me.

It's such a deep cut. I'm actually ashamed that I remember that. Why?

Your memory's impeccable.

Here, take a look around. You wouldn't remember.

Oh, the font is giving- Maybe the grandma was giving Betty White.

Can you see who played the grandma?

Okay, I've never seen this show in my life. What is this?

You have, but you were younger.

The grandma's not Betty White.

Betty White Vibes?

I believe she's the old lady from my favorite Ben Stiller movie, Duplex.

Okay.

Have you ever seen Duplex?

I don't think so.

Okay, so it's about Drew Barrymore and Ben Stiller. They're this couple so in love, and they find this amazing duplex for zero dollars. They're like, How did we get so lucky? So they move into this amazing Brownstone duplex in Manhattan. And the reason why it's so cheap is because the real estate broker is his grandma lives upstairs, and she's the neighbor from hell. And they basically end up trying to kill her. It's insane. It's such a good movie. Oh, that's so funny. It's like how your crazy neighbor could really drive you to the brink of a manic episode where they end up. I think they kill her.

Oh, it's a murder?

Yeah, you would obviously end up loving the grand. You have to watch a movie. You are the grand.

This grand is Ellen Albertini Dow. You would know her if you saw her. She's also in The Wedding Singer.

Is she from Duplex?

I'm looking. She's in Hannah Montana.

Who isn't?

Not Another, Not Another, Not Another movie. Remember those movies?

That was such a crazy genre of film. Why were they doing all that?

No one did it quite as good as Not Another Teen movie.

Agreed. But that parody genre of regular movies, like scary Movies, right?

Yeah. Scary Movies was, I think, the first. Okay. Our fifth and final story, Margot Robbie and Jacob Alorty.

Are being so weird.

I tried to tell you guys last week. I feel like no one really was listening to me. And then this week I saw comments like, Are you guys going to talk about Margot Robbie and Jacob Alorty? I'm like, I rang the bell on it last. I sounded the alarm. What do you want from me?

So they're doing press. The movie, I don't know, is out, coming out, and they're They're just saying a lot of weird things. And what sucks is that, first of all, did you see her wearing Victoria Beckham?

She looked amazing.

She'd be a fun press thing that we're all eating up. She looks so gorgeous. He's so hot. They're just being weird, talking about the filming experience and how it was so sexy and delicious. And she sent the movie to all of her friends, and they were humping their couches while watching it. Jacob is so everything. It's really weird. Please stop.

Oh, my God.

But obviously, I need to see the movie.

I want to see the movie, too, because I like both of them as actors, and it's based on a great book. It seems to have gotten the real treatment.

And justice for Olivia Jade. That's someone's man. Justice for her husband and she's a child. And she's a child, yeah. But also for Olivia Jade.

No. No, because at least...

Hopefully, she Olivia, at least Margot Robbie and her man, they are secure. They have a family together. Like, yes, she can act weird, but that's who she's coming home to. Her and Olivia and Jacob are very much on the rocks. I'm sure she's not feeling the most secure in her relationship, but now here's Margot Robbie.

But here's the thing. This is obviously a marketing, a way of marketing the movie. We're going to bring that same sexual, obsessed with each other energy to the press junket. Cynthia and Ari, best friends. I think that's real, but best friends in real life, they're marketing the love story of the movie, which is their friendship. Sydney, Sweeney, and Glenn Powell attempted it with anything but you. Question, how stupid do you guys think we are?

I mean, people do fall for it every time. I just want to say.

No.

Who's falling for this? I don't think that they are in a relationship or having affairs, these two, though.

No, I don't think they're trying to tell us they're having an affair, but I think they're trying to titulate us with all the sexiness. And it's like, you guys have partners, go home. Just promote your movie and go home. A thousand %. You don't have to put on all this sex. We don't care that much, and we don't believe you. And if you are telling the truth, well, then that's fucking weird.

That's disrespectful.

Yeah.

No, it's weird, regardless. The thing about Margot Robbie saying she hosted a friends and family. So screening for her friends, and they were all, she said, dry heaving at Jacob. Like, really, really weird.

So either you're turning it up and putting it on to titulate audiences because you think we need that because we don't just want to come see your movie. Right.

So your movie is not good is what you're saying.

Or you're being honest, and that was what everything was happening, and you're telling us that. And then you're weird. And then you're weird. So you're either rude or you're weird. Yeah. Pick your poison.

Condescending or weird. Yeah. Patronizing or freaky.

That's so Hollywood. Patronizing and freaky.

All at once.

Except for the set of The Massinger.

Of course. One of the most amazing- Family friendly shows. Workplaces. Absolutely. Yeah.

Well, those are the Fast Five stories.

That's your- And I feel as though you only needed to know the first one.

You did. But we have a job to do. And I feel like if we ever really start forsaking the fast five, that's how it all goes to shit. The fast five keeps the wheels on this thing.

It's true. Even on days where it's like- There's no fast five. No. Or like, how are we talking about anything besides X? Yeah. Even on days like that, the wheels The Wheel of Justice turns slow.

Yeah. No, the fast five keeps this thing together. It's the glue that holds the show. So we do what we have to do.

Absolutely. And Barbara Corcoran, I'm sorry that happened to you.

And we operate in fives. So true. We were just saying this.

Yeah. Fast Five stories.

Five patrons a month.

When we do an episode choosing our favorite exes of the year or whatever, we'll do five songs or five albums. We're a couple of five. We're a couple of five. And that's a magic number.

It's our magic number. I'll leave you with this. And you're our magic The Queen Corgi. Thank you so much for coming on the show today, despite the fact that you were literally on national television last night. Yeah, not me on network broadcast television. Thanks for not forgetting us.

I put my armor on, show you how strong I am. I put my armor on, I'll show you that I am. I'm unstable. I'm a Porsche with no rigs. I'm so confident. Yeah, I'm unstable today. Unstoppable today. Unstoppable today. Unstoppable today. Unstoppable today.

I'm unstable today.

Thank you, Queen Corgi. Yeah, active change. Shout out to my vocal coach, Tim, who gave me that idea. He taught you that? Yeah, he was like, I couldn't figure it out. He was like, We need to do it a thousand times. And he was like, Just do it.

When I was listening to see his version today, I was disappointed. It didn't hit. It didn't hit in that way. I would like a version on of Queen Corgi's. Yeah.

I wonder, do they put your performance? They're on YouTube, of course, but can you buy it on iTunes or whatever?

I need it on Spotify, so someone needs to work on that.

I'll burn you a CD.

Please.

I just want to say, like, shout out. The show has such a wide reach. Like, not my aunt texting me last night. You got to make a CD and sell it on your podcast.

You do. I mean, we've been talking about Toast tunes forever.

I know. We just have to do it.

It's 2026, the year of Toast tunes.

Tune in to find out.

Toast tunes in.

Thank you guys so much for listening to the Toast, The Line-up Morning Show. We deliver the fast life stories. You need to know everybody on Friday on YouTube. They're watching us on YouTube. Please don't forget to subscribe and give us a video of a thumbs up. We're also available as podcast. We're a podcast. We found such a public video, I'm ready to talk about how beautiful, stunning, and wickedly talented we are. Oh, and if you didn't like my singing before, you're not going Can't me to stop singing now because I am a singer on television and you can't tell me to stop because I have an amazing voice in America, agrees. You'll have to put up with my singing for till the end of time. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Ken Jong's favorite singer.

That's my claim to Fame. Love ya. Bye.

Love ya. Bye. But what I wanted to say, my daughter is fighting the Studium. Semester-bedrag, Laptop, Books, Handys, Internet. A Master is really expensive. Tell her, she can get it back. You mean from a tax-subset, right? But she doesn't deserve it. No, the magic word 'verlustvortrag'. She just did it with 'visosteuer'. And when she then works, it means, kaching. That's possible? Safe. 'Visosteuer'. Get your money back. Now, try it.