Transcript of Mes Degree: Tuesday, October 27th, 2026

Good morning, girlies. It's The Toast. It's Jax and Claude, and we're your hosts. It's your favorite show, the fast 5 things you need to know. We'll start your day off swirly. It's The Toast. I sound amazing. Welcome back to The Toast, and happy Tuesday.

Hope everybody's having a great day.

I'm having a great day.

You are? Why? What happened?

Well, we were watching our episodes yesterday because we have to choose our episodes to submit for the Golden Globes. Mm-hmm. Right. So we were trying to find episodes that like represent us to the Globes. And so I had to watch a lot of episodes in a row of us starting the show. Mm-hmm. And it's just funny to watch.

I think you're hypercritical of us. Like, I think the beginning of our shows are beautiful and there's nothing wrong with them.

I just feel like I'm always saying something vague about Yeah, I'm good, I think.

You can't just like dive in, you know what I mean? This show is so dense.

I was just getting so frustrated with myself 'cause I just feel like I'm so vague. Like, I'm good. Yeah, it was a good night.

Well, it's like when somebody asks you, how are you? Like, what the fuck are you supposed to say?

So I just wanna have definitive things to say.

Okay.

I'm great. We started today off on a great note because I brought muffins to the office.

And everyone really appreciated it.

Thank you, clap if you care.

And I'm not at all trying to bite the hand that literally feeds us, But when somebody says, I have muffins, and she has this Caraway Tupperware, I'm like, of course, let me get sat with my muffin before the show. I do feel like when the muffins are blueberry, you have to say that. Like, because I just assume if you're making a muffin, it's like a chocolate treat. Okay. I think that that's sort of like, or even like, yeah, chocolate. Like that's the baseline muffin, at least for me. And so then I looked ungrateful when they were blueberry and like, I didn't really want it.

Understood. For me, like a muffin is a blueberry muffin or some sort of fruit muffin. I feel like a chocolate chip muffin, like isn't really a muffin. That's just like a cookie in a,

No, it's a

muffin. It's, and it's certainly not like a greckfast item.

Well, I think that's sort of a personal choice.

I, I will make you a chocolate chip muffin. And first of all, when I came in, you were like 2 steps behind me. So I told the people in front of me they were blueberry and then like you didn't catch that. So you thought I— I missed the blueberry. You thought I withheld it from you, but I didn't. And I'm proud that they're blueberry. That's my favorite kind of muffin. And also I made them for the kids. So no, I didn't make them like chocolate chip muffins.

Yeah. Well, I thought they were made for me.

I had to get a little fruit in there.

Well, obviously I don't wanna be ungrateful. I would never ever wanna be that. But, um, I just prefer chocolate.

But you're in luck because I've decided, well, I guess your guys' interests are opposed, but I've decided I wanna like make more muffins, like for the kids. It's just like a way of like just switching things up a little bit.

I'm always making muffins. Chat is always like, I have a great cheddar muffin recipe. Great way to get some protein. A great way to get kids to try new foods.

So I was thinking of just like other muffins I can make, but when I'm thinking of them, I'm thinking like, Bran, banana, apple. Of course. Yeah.

You, you don't have to bring those to the office.

But I'm not, I guess I'll have to make a separate batch for you. I'll defrost one every morning.

That works for me.

Of just chocolate chip.

I love a chocolate chip muffin. Now Jackie and I are sitting here about to record an amazing episode, but we cannot speak about an amazing episode without discussing the amazing piece of content we recorded yesterday after the toast.

Our Patreon.

Don't you feel like it was like our best one yet?

It was hysterical.

It was so funny. We did a whole episode of Dear Toasters, um, just to sort of feed the community and give back. And we, we do that a lot. Um, but I felt like we were particularly funny. And I just really recommend that you all go enjoy it, patreon.com/thetoes.

Especially if you're a member of the DTQ and you're pining—

And you're sharpening your pitchfork.

On a Tuesday.

Now I also wanna discuss—

We could have totally done Dear Toasters today.

Yeah, today is the Tuesday where we could have done it, but we're sticking with the schedule. I also did wanna discuss, I've seen a lot of hate being sent Ben's way. Like a lot of people are like not excited about Ben's announcement. And you know, I will say that Ben Soffer does abuse the like announcement secret project thing. We never say secret project 'cause we don't really do much except the show. We do have a couple of secret projects coming up, and when I tell you, they will blow your mind. Like, they are worth the hype.

Yeah, they're worth the hype.

But Ben is always like, secret project, and then it's like another spritz flavor. Not that there's anything wrong with wanting a new spritz flavor.

I'm sorry, I was cracking up.

The comments being like, not me not being excited.

No, the comment— they weren't even saying that. They were like, I'm sure Ben's announcement isn't— is a new spritz flavor. And I understand why you guys might think that, and you're right to think that, because historically that's what it's been.

Correct. But I did wanna come on here and defend my man and say like, the thing he's announcing like is big and it's different and it's not, has nothing to do with Spritz.

It has nothing, it's not a new Spritz flavor. It has nothing to do with Spritz. I also do, but he's like the boy who cried Spritz.

Announcement. Like, you know, he's the boy who cried announcement. Yeah. And so he overuses it and I'm glad to see it like sort of blowing up in his face. But I did have to come on here and defend my man.

And just so you know, I was cracking up. Like you guys are totally right. It, it was giving new Spritz flavor, but it's not, but it's so much better than that.

Now, in addition to like lots of secret projects and announcements, I do also have a bit of a warning. Today's episode will feature a McDonald's ad, prerecorded 15 seconds. I hope you enjoy every minute of it. And I think I'll actually take myself to McDonald's afterwards to celebrate our huge milestone.

And our huge partnership.

With one of the greatest American brands of all time.

And you know what, McDonald's, I don't know if they set out to make such a splash by—

And like such controversy.

By putting in like prerecorded ads into our show, but they're getting their money's worth and then some, cuz everybody's talking about it.

We haven't heard from them. And I'm curious if they even know. They're such a big company, like they probably do 1 million ads. I wonder if they even know about like the drama they've started on our corner of the internet.

Yeah. McDonald'sgate.

2026. Where were you? Right here. What are the stories like today?

They're good. There was like a lot of stories, so it was hard to pick 5, but good stories. I, I feel excited to talk about them.

I submitted a special request. I actually meant to talk about this last week.

Oh, I didn't know it was happening.

People had discovered the trademark for Jennifer Lawrence's Um, like alleged haircare company. She officially announced it this morning, so it's a better time to talk about it. I have actually so many thoughts.

It's a better time to talk about it cuz I need like new visuals and I don't wanna just like speculate or like hate on something that I don't know.

Doesn't exist yet.

Like just the idea of a haircare company.

Yeah.

You use haircare?

Well, let's, let's save it because I have a lot of thoughts.

Okay. So then beyond that, we had another epic failure of an evening together last night.

Oh my God. Like what is worse than loading up all the kids, going out to dinner to find out that the restaurant is closed? Mm-hmm. Like humiliating.

And the one next door is closed too. Yes.

So we just— we were gonna like keep driving around, like go to Cheesecake Factory. We're like, you know what, let's just fucking call it. So what'd you have for dinner?

So I made the kids quesadillas.

I also made quesadillas.

And then I ordered from a kosher restaurant.

Oh, that's nice.

And I had a really nice meal. That's nice. I was happy. It actually all worked out. And it didn't. It was lovely.

Like, it didn't work out because like what was promised.

I'm just like sick of this happening to us. I

know. First of all, we get kicked out of the Halloween party and then we get kicked out of the restaurant.

You know what? It doesn't happen like when we're with Olivia, you know?

She would never allow such failure.

She just like knows the rules and like the times things open and close.

She's also just like, she doesn't attract that sort of like failure energy. Like maybe we do.

No, she just like knows the schedules of places.

Yeah, she literally runs this town.

I just like, I'm like, oh, I, I guess I'll go to a restaurant. I don't even consider that it might not be open.

I also don't even consider the fact that we don't have a reservation. We're a huge party. We need 11 high chairs. Figure it out.

I've decided to go to a restaurant, so.

Park the Dead Sea for me. I'm coming.

You guys figure it out.

So true. That shit would never happen if Olivia were there.

Yeah, so we should stop like hanging out without her.

1,000%. That's the lesson. Mm-hmm. What else?

What else? Oh, I'm really enjoying my book Calamity Club. Like it's really such a good book.

Any idea if Olivia started it or not?

Definitely not. And you know what? It's a really long book, but I'm actually appreciating it because like, as much as I wanna know what happens in the story, I don't want it to end. Like I enjoy every day that I have something to read and I'm like, so I'm, this is the greatest it will ever be. Like, I'm 40%. Like, I'm so safe. I, I'm so invested in the book, but I've got ways to go. And maybe I'll start reading more longer books because getting into a new book is always the challenge.

Also, I think when you take out the element of the Goodreads end of year book total, you're not like putting this crazy pressure on yourself to read as many books as possible and getting through them quickly. Like, what besides the Goodreads tally, what's the benefit of reading a book so quickly? Like, getting through it? What if you really enjoyed it? So I actually agree. I'm glad. Yeah, that's why I stopped reading so much and stopped counting on Goodreads.

Goodreads also does a counter of how many pages read.

Nobody cares about that one though.

That's like how many hours streamed. Like, what does that really mean?

Yeah, no, that's not like what people post on their Instagram, their, you know, Goodreads wrap.

But like, that's a way to even the playing field. I don't care how many books you read if they're 150 pages.

What's your philosophy on audiobooks being counted as books read?

Counts. You read— because what, you can't go and read the book after that, right? And you are enriching yourself and you're getting the story. And so it's like, if I read it out loud to you, you'd consider it read?

That's a good question.

But yeah, I don't— I'm not part of like the people who look down on those who read audiobooks.

I'm not like a person who generally looks down because like I get a double chin, but, um, I don't look down on audiobooks either.

I feel like you look down.

Oh really? Let's see, put your money where your mouth is. Like on what?

Um,

bordering on anything like unethical. Yeah, I look down on criminals, like, you know.

Really?

Well, unless they've rehabilitated. I didn't mean that, Golden Globes. I didn't mean it. No, like, yeah, if you kill someone, I will look down on you.

Yeah.

That's more so what I meant. If you're crossing like ethical lines, but please.

Um, I'll have to think about it and I'll circle back when I, um—

I, I actually really look forward to hearing.

I will. I just, I don't even think that's a hot take. I think it's okay to look down on some things.

Like what?

Negligence.

Agreed. I think that would cross the ethical line.

Okay.

Being negligent.

Being negligent. Yeah. Laziness. I know.

No, well, I— then I would be looking down on turd self. And there's a time and a place for laziness.

There is. What else?

What else does Charity look down on?

No, no, I'm just saying things that one could look down on that are fine to look down on.

Somebody tagged me in this TikTok and it was so funny. I'm sure you've seen— we should play it. Oh, it's literally— sorry, we've played it. It's headbands. People are like at dinner parties and they're putting like, you know, and they have to ask questions about who's the name on their forehead. So somebody put Turdy Lou Freebush, and the person was like, is this person a content creator? And then one of the questions was like, like, would everybody know this person? And like, the group behind the camera was like, no. Like, I was like, okay, you guys answered really fast and really loud.

Show me the clip, show me the clip. That's so funny.

It's like a long one. You have to watch all the questions. And the questions were like, does this person post fashion content? Is this person Something Navy? Like, and then they were like, would everyone— no. It's like, okay, according to the Golden Globes, that's not true, but sure. Oh my God. I was cracking up. No, no, no, no, definitely not. Like, okay, we get it. Were you okay? No, it did stop me from reposting.

Oh really?

I was seriously like, Like, you didn't have to be so emphatic. Obviously not everyone was saying—

I'm using that as a sound for sure.

No.

Like, I'm gonna stand next to you. Would everyone know this person?

No. Like, we should just recreate it. We'll put Trader Louie free brush on your forehead.

Also, when I was watching our episodes for the Globes, like, there were so many like sound bites in there that I'm like, that should be a sound.

We were cracking ourselves up while going through the archives of 2026 Toast Herstory. So much happened this year as well.

I mean, we've just been so busy, you know, like Every episode is different. We're in a different place. One's pregnant, one's not. One's nursing, like both pregnant. Like we've just done so much this year. It's been such like a, a busy year.

And like every episode that we watched was almost 90 minutes. I, you know how—

Of course.

Well, they do Spotify Wrapped. How many minutes recorded? How many minutes? Including Patreon as well.

Yeah, let's do that. Let's do that.

I bet chat could do it like

Yeah, of course. Just simple math.

Well, I'm ready to dive into the stories. It's just like a low-key Tuesday. Tonight is Dancing with the Stars, so like enjoy this episode while you have it. It's just like a low-key,

low-key

sort of like good vibe.

Yeah. Okay, without further ado, it is time for the fast 5 stories that you do need to know.

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Monopoly at McDonald's is back! Aha! You can't win if you don't play. Get your bag.

Are you ready for our first story?

I am.

I can't believe we've really like made no buzz about this. No mention. In the lead-up. What? But today, the Sexiest Man Alive was announced and it's Noah Weil from The Pit.

Wiley? You'll get it one day. Swannapel.

Weil.

And it's Swannapel.

He's— okay. Noah Wiley from The Pit.

Wiley, yeah.

I don't watch The Pit, so this man doesn't mean anything to me except for the fact that he looks like Adam Sandler.

Okay, I do watch The Pit, but not so much anymore. Like, I watched it during postpartum and I really enjoyed it, but like beyond that, it didn't—

Season 3's coming out on HBO Max.

It didn't like matriculate into my postpartum life, but I appreciate it for what it is. And I think if you're a healthcare worker, like, it's very accurate. Um, he is hot. I appreciate— I like— because like sometimes they choose like ugly people, you know, just like be different, and I like that they didn't. And I like People's Sexiest Man Alive for like the other categories, you know? Yeah, we haven't gotten those today. Oh, we haven't?

Which is exciting 'cause like we're always doing the other categories and we're like, who's the SMA? So I'm glad that we got SMA. I feel like the lead up to it wasn't unbearable aside from that bit on Dancing with the Stars. I didn't even know it was SMA season.

We were waiting for it, yeah.

And it's always exciting.

It is, it's a good choice. Obviously he's like doing press right now 'cause there's a new season. He's on Amy Poehler's podcast.

He's on Amy Poehler's podcast like being SMA.

He just won like He swept the Emmys because he's also the creator of the show, so he's like not just a pretty face, he's also a pretty mind. People love him. People also hate him because he's a Jew, but for the most part people love him, and I'm happy with this choice. I'm not like, you know, when they chose Blake Shelton, people were like actually sharpening their pitchforks. I think people seem to be pleased with this.

Yeah, people seem to be pleased, and I think people who aren't fans of his like me like have no reason to complain.

Wait, you think he's handsome?

I think he's handsome. Yeah. And it's always nice. It's a man like of a distinction.

Not like a 12-year-old.

Of course. Like you have to go back into the archives. Like, who was it last year? Who was it last year? And it's funny how you'd never remember.

Wait, let me think. Let me think. Let me think. I have no idea.

Jonathan Bailey.

Oh, I actually did know that because I saw people like comparing Jonathan Bailey and Noah Wyle on Twitter today. That was a really good one. Mm-hmm. Like, and he was very of the moment and he's extremely handsome.

Then the year before, John Krasinski.

Literally, what happened to John Krasinski?

I don't know, but that's like, he's classic SMA fodder, you know? Just

like— Yes, older gentleman.

Older, middle-aged.

America's sweetheart.

Well-liked actor. That's what this is. It's not the sexiest man alive. It's the middle-aged, well-liked actor of the year.

I feel like John Krasinski has been real quiet since you and I discovered like the big scam he pulled off in 2020 with his Instagram account, Some Good News, that he ended up selling to CBS for $100 million and then went defunct. Like that's giving shell company. No, and

like you guys are all looking at Elizabeth Holmes.

Look a little closer to home. Look at John Krasinski. I'm telling you, don't you feel like ever since we brought that up, he's been real quiet?

100%.

He's like sort of let Emily take, you know, the reins on Hollywood. Mm-hmm. I also think, and maybe this is just me, with like the Q score of Ryan Reynolds going down like so significantly, I do feel like that's affected John Krasinski, 'cause they really remind me so much of each other.

Yeah, it's just like not a good time.

To be one of those guys.

To be one of those guys.

Like who everybody like loved and thought was like so funny. Ha, $100 million. And it's like, well, was it ever that funny? What do you think?

Then the year before that it was Patrick Dempsey. That's actually classic. I think like—

Yeah, how many times has he been in it?

Whenever they don't know who to pick, they would go like Patrick Dempsey.

George Clooney. Yeah.

Before that it was Chris Evans. Yeah, he's really cute.

Yeah, I'm surprised that he was— you have to agree to be People's Sexiest Man Alive. Yeah, you have to sit for the photo shoot and the interview. So like, yeah, I could say it's, uh, Leonardo DiCaprio, but he wouldn't agree, right? It has to be a mutually agreed upon thing. So you also have to consider that the person who's being named Sexiest Man Alive like wanted it and nominated themselves and like sat for it, which makes them less sexy. Like for—

I guess. But like even with Noah Wiley, he was saying how his fiancée or his, his lady love, um, was like, you have to do it. And that's always what it is too. Even with Blake Shelton, he's like, what do you mean? And then the people around him are like, you have to do it. And you do have to do it.

Of course. Mm-hmm. So we have to do it when they obviously will come down.

It's not Sexiest Woman.

It's Most Beautiful Podcaster, which I, I'm not the sexiest podcaster, but I am the most beautiful podcaster. I agree.

if they have a most beautiful podcast category.

Like, we would never make the Maxim list, but we would make People's Most Beautiful.

I think so.

And I'd rather.

I think so. Yeah, I don't think that's such a stretch. No. Like, like the Golden Globes, it's really nothing for us.

Once you've achieved the nomination, the list of nominees for potential nominees, anything is possible. Don't you feel?

Yeah.

There you have it, the highly anticipated 2026 Summer.

Yeah, so sexy.

So sexy. I saw a funny tweet. It's like, you think Noah Wyle is the sexiest man alive? He's not even the sexiest man on the pit.

And what's funny is in his article or his

interview

profile, they were talking about he, he actually made the sexiest list like back in the '90s when he was on ER. And they did like—

He was a soap star. Yeah. They

did sexiest doctors, sexiest med— like TV doctors or whatever. And then they were like, but George Clooney was SMA that year. And then they said, and they had to address it, they were like, we don't know how we let him slip through our fingers. 'Cause it's like, well, if he was sexy as now, the only thing that wasn't sexy about him is that he wasn't a leading man.

Correct. I also think he has like a longstanding beef with George Clooney.

Really?

Yeah, there's like, there is, I'm not fully well-versed on it, so if you are, you're probably like frustrated hearing me say this, but there is some tea. about the pit, like in its origins and who started it. And, and there's something.

I love that.

Yeah.

Are you ready for our next story? There's no more sexiness to share.

Well, let me just adjust my shirt. There's always more sexiness to share. Hello.

Um, our next story, Taylor Swift has been officially inducted into the National Songwriters Hall of Fame. She says, I will cherish this forever. So not only was Taylor inducted,

out in a boot

she went, To the ceremony, the singer expressed her appreciation for her fellow songwriters as she received the honor at Music City Center in Nashville last night. She said, one thing that I did learn is that songwriters, although they possess a superhuman ability to understand and interpret the human condition and like insane levels of empathy, they're just people too. And they're people—

Talking about herself, by the way.

Who are in a lot of ways raised me and guided me through formative years.

That's beautiful. Now, not to be like one of those people just to reduce a woman to what she's wearing, but like we do need to talk about her outfit. because she's just sort of coming off of a bunch of slays, and it seems that this would also be a slay.

I agree. She looks adorable.

She looks adorable. I love this haircut. Like, it couldn't be cuter. She looks so youthful and fresh, and the dress is adorable. And it's just— we have to acknowledge, I would love to know what changed. We know it's not the stylist, so what changed?

Well, maybe she's entering into a different era, one that Is

like a

stylish one? Just, yeah, like inspires party looks.

But a lot of the eras like inspire party looks.

No, I just feel like with her, it's like she likes a dress, so she wears it. And half the time we don't like it, but the other half it's a good dress. Yeah. And I agreed with that. It's a good dress. I agreed with that on the Venn diagram. Like we agree on that dress.

Yeah.

So I just feel like, I don't know, it's like coincidences, honestly.

I don't know if it's more planned. But even when we agree on the dress, it's never like a, a slay.

Yeah.

She looked great.

Yeah, she did. I would love to have— This is like the confidence of a woman in love and, and a woman who is loved.

Speaking of—

She's wearing that confidence well.

I have a lot of things to say.

About sports?

I watched a Cowboys game last night so that I could have something to talk about with my nephews.

Oh.

But I fell asleep.

What happened?

I'm not sure. Uh, who won? The Cowboys.

Go Cowboys!

They played the former— the artist formerly known as the Jalen Hurts Eagles.

Oh my God, you know that's a huge rivalry.

Yeah, but I think it's been like— like some of the sting has been taken out of it because Jalen wasn't there.

No, of course. And like, they—

So they won by default. Like,

um, but you never know with the Cowboys, they could still—

of course. But I did wanna tell everyone, and I feel like I haven't even spoken to you about this. I don't know if you know this, but the Knicks are 0-3.

There's been 3 games since the one we watched?

Well, the crazy thing about being a basketball fan is there's like 4 games a week, whereas basketball, there's 1. Um, yeah, there's been 3 games. They've lost every single one. And I wanna— I, for one, I actually am thrilled about it because I feel like people are not gonna like what I'm about to say, but like a lot of the Knicks spent like a lot of the offseason like being celebrities and like not practicing, you know? Like, of course Karl-Anthony Towns got married and that's fine, but he comes back like, you know, he's on commercials. They're all just like so famous. SNL. And I feel like they, they partied a little too hard. And so I like that they're struggling because I think they will get it back, but not if it was coming too easy to them. Like, they are stinking it up.

I think the Knicks love to stink. Like, even when they won the championship, like, they were losing the whole time until the end. Like, they love a comeback story. They don't know how to be on top.

No, no.

I think karmically it's better that they're losing because if they were just like winning, winning, like Like it, the bubble would burst. Like they just love this underdog story, so they have to constantly position themselves as underdogs even when they're the champions. It makes complete sense to me that they're 0-3 and I have no concerns.

I have no concerns. The first 2 games like were rivalries, like it was the Celtics and Philadelphia, like, you know, local East Coast. We had LeBron, like sure. And then they played the Orlando Magic and I was like, okay, well finally we'll win a game. The Orlando Magic were also 0-2, so they were like, who's gonna leave this game defeated?

That's embarrassing.

It was humiliating. The Magic. I couldn't believe it.

Isn't it so cute that Orlando is called the Magic because of Disney?

Not only is it so cute, I'm gonna one-up you. You know, a new thing, like, in maybe in the last like 5 years is now every team has a sponsor on the jersey. The Knicks are sponsored by Abu Dhabi, which I don't really understand.

The country?

The country. I guess like the tourism board, but like literally it says Abu Dhabi New York Knicks. It's like—

It's the Abu Dhabi Knicks.

It's the Abu Dhabi Knicks. But most people have like Microsoft, and the Orlando Magic have Disney.

It's so cute. And I'm sure like when they proposed it, someone was like, Magic? That's not a team.

Right. Bobcats.

The Magic are a team.

The Magic are a team.

I think I might become an Orlando Magic fan.

You should. It's so cute.

Like Orlando Magic greater than Miami Heat. Like Miami Heat are so basic, so obvious.

Oh, I don't know. It's kind of like a perfect name. It's fucking hot.

Oh, not even because their name— okay, it's fucking hot. That's not a name either. No, I just meant because like they're South Beach, like they're so, you know, they have championships and like they're just like so cool.

No, I think it's a good name. You don't have to shit on—

I'm not shitting on the name. Sorry. The name is amazing. I'm just saying as a team, if I'm gonna root for a Florida team, I wanna root for the Magic. But like, I just think the Heat are just like, you know, everybody in Miami's a fan of the Heat. Like, they have so much like coolness and

more

cool factor.

The Orlando Magic confirmed have no cool factor.

I am lending my coolness, of which I have a decent amount.

We were on the list.

I am lending my coolness to the Orlando Magic.

That must be fun cuz you'd probably be like the most famous person. Of course. Courtside. As like, I'm like in the rafters of famous New York Knicks fans.

Of course. Maybe it's time for you to take on like a smaller, uncool team.

Okay. Utah Jazz, here I come.

Jazz. That's a great name too.

Yeah. Skibidi da da da doo da dee. Skibidi da da. Scat, scat, scat, scat, scat. Wait, no. Is scatting jazz? Yeah. Yeah. Skibidi da da da doo da dee. I actually would love to learn to scat properly. I'm always scatting, but I just say like improperly scat a lot and I think there's there's more to it than that. I'm really

appreciative that the NBA has gotten so creative, like, with team names. You don't just have to be—

well, there are only so many.

The Bulldogs, the

Falcons. Don't you feel like every league has a Falcon?

And every league, it's all like animals, you know, fighting animals.

Yeah. The NHL also gets like a little—

I mean, the Oilers, freaky with it.

The Penguins,

that's cute.

The Rangers, that's cute.

Yeah,

the Bruins.

That's good.

That's where Garrett Graham is going.

Oh my God, when I went to St. Barrett Halloween, they had a section of like off-campus costumes. Did you see them?

What?

Yeah, it was, um, obviously Garrett and his varsity letter jacket, or you could be Wellesley and her bunny—

With a big pink helmet?

No, her bunny costume. Remember, they had the Halloween party.

Cute.

Or you could be Ally in the J.Lo costume.

But are you being J.Lo or are you being Ally?

You're being Ally being J.Lo. And it was just really cute. I mean, I was obviously dressing up with the children, so these were not for me.

Oh, me and Ben should maybe be Belmon and Ella.

Yeah, and maybe like Ruby could be like a hockey puck.

I'm not involving Ruby in this costume. It's like very inappropriate, but thanks.

It's, it's, it's a sweet show.

It's the best show ever made.

Yeah.

It's the best show ever made.

He could be a hockey stick.

He could be a hockey stick. I love that.

I'm surprised you didn't see that display. We went to the same Spirit Halloween.

I was just like sort of on a mission at the Spirit Halloween. Once you've been to a Spirit Halloween, Halloween in Manhattan, you don't know how to act normal in other Spirit Halloweens. When I got there, it was empty and fully stocked. Mind you, it was over the weekend, a week before Halloween. It shouldn't be jam-packed. In the city, the place would've been empty and people would've been like bleeding out on the floor. It's— there's only like 1 or 2. The line wraps around the block 4 times and it's literally a traumatizing experience. I didn't know you could just like walk into a Spirit Halloween and find, you know—

And act normal and like take your time.

And find exactly what you need in your size, multiple options. Like that's never never happened before. It was genuinely a shocking experience. And I think I just thought like all Spirit Halloweens were like disgusting because the ones in New York, by the time I get there, had been ransacked. This was such a clean facility, some of the most like unbelievably lovely, helpful staff ever. Um, they had like these cute installations, like it was just amazing. Yeah, even like the bowls of candy in the city, like they're full of wrappers, like it's crazy.

Yeah, I hadn't been to a Spirit Halloween in the city, like in probably a while. Usually I've been doing Amazon. So last time I went to Spirit, I feel like they had so many more options for costumes. Like if you were going to Spirit Halloween 5 years ago, like you could be a referee or

a whore.

Yeah. Like there's not like really—

Or a whore who is also a referee on the side.

Right, right. But there's not like a lot of options. No. Variety, creativity. I felt like we have—

They have stepped their pussy up in like to, to compete with Amazon.

It's an amazing business. When we were there, Zach couldn't get over it, but it's really so true. Not only is it—

Is it open year round?

No, they pop up in like Like out of business stores, they take over for 2 months, pay the lease, and they're so popular for those few months. And it's no returns.

And it's no returns.

And it kind of has to be that way.

Of course.

You know, people would take advantage.

100%. Like go to a Halloween party early and then return.

And so I got like a backup costume knowing I couldn't return it.

Yeah. I believe like a, a year or 2 ago, somebody did like a big profile on the business of Spirit Halloween and how it's like literally a billion dollar business. for one month.

But it powers the whole year, I'm sure.

And like, I think they've thought of doing like other concepts like that, like doing like an— but nothing. People don't need shit like that.

I think it's enough.

Me too.

You know, and I'm sure—

I like how they never spend too much money on decor. There's like a banner hanging outside being like, yeah, there's costumes in here. It's,

it's actually brilliant.

I agree.

Brilliant. I'd love to speak to the CEO. Businessman of the week. Or a woman.

Man.

Yeah. Yeah.

If I know what I know.

Yeah. Are you ready for our 3rd story? Mm-hmm. Speaking of businesswoman, Jennifer Lawrence's new haircare line is all about doing less. So this morning, Jennifer Lawrence launched her new haircare line called Mess. Her journey, M-E-S with a degree sign. So what is it called? Mess Degree?

Wait, with a degree sign?

You know, like 98 degrees.

Wait, go. I thought it was with like an apostrophe over it.

No, no, no, there's degrees. Like, that's a degree sign, right?

It is a degree sign. So Mess Degrees?

Mess Degree.

I think it's just meh.

No.

I thought— I have no idea.

The degree sign means something. Maybe on the Instagram it says how it's pronounced because I'm literally— I'm already frustrated.

Now last week, Internet Sleuth had uncovered like trademark filed, yada yada, and quickly put together that Jennifer Lawrence was launching a haircare brand. Mm-hmm. Did they say?

It said @messbeauty, Mess Degree Beauty by Jennifer Lawrence.

Mess Degree.

You can't put a degree in a handle, so I'm sure they struggled with that. Obviously. Um, we're gonna have to like watch a video of her.

My name is Bia. Jennifer, Bia Arabucci.

Nobody's speaking at all.

Come as you are. I'm ready. Mess degree.

All right, so until further notice, it's mess degree, real activist. Okay,

mess degree. Wait, here's the, the pitch. Jennifer Lawrence's journey into the beauty industry started not with a business plan but with a TED Talk from founder and CEO of Arkéa, a biotechnology company, after watching the MIT-trained chemical and bio biological engineer speak 3 years ago, J-Law asked for a meeting and Mess Degree, a science-driven haircare line launching today, was born. The brand, which was seemingly the impetus for the social media-verse J-Law to join Instagram, is debuting in 3 products: the Multitask Repair Mask, Good Roots Volume Mist, and Off Duty Restyling Serum.

So when people figured this out last week, the general consensus was like, that's why she joined Instagram. And I will say that was my first thought as well. Yeah, me too. And it was like actually so disappointing. Like, I thought she was here to like have fun with us. Like, I don't know if you saw, she's been like making content about Fibula. Like, they're like going back and forth. Like, I've been loving seeing JLo like sort of come down to earth and be here with us. Now knowing it was all just like an elaborate ruse to get us to care about her hair care company, like, I'm disappointed.

Would you say you're looking down on it?

I'm not, I'm not. I'm just disappointed. Oh no, I'm not looking down on it. And I feel like when Tina Fey was on the podcast with Amy Poehler being like, why does everybody have to— she was looking down on Now I have a theory that, because this makes no sense if we're being completely honest, like of all the things, like if I wanted Jennifer Lawrence to start, like there are so many things I admire about her. I've honestly never thought about her hair. I'd sooner she started a podcast. Like she's an amazing personality. Like this is so random. This seems just like such an obvious money grab.

She should start a podcast.

Yeah, I know. So I'm just like, why? And I've come to the conclusion that, you know, being a working mom is hard and like maybe like acting isn't all it's cracked up to be. Like maybe like going on location for X amount of weeks and going to do press, like maybe she doesn't wanna do it. So maybe she needs some some, some income. So maybe that's what this is. And if that's the case, I'll support a mama in need. But to be honest, this does seem like sort of corporate greed.

I don't think it's about the money because first of all, she's an amazing actress. I think she genuinely loves to act. Like she's been doing it since high school. I also think there are easier ways to make money when you're Jennifer Lawrence. You could invest in something. True. You could voice a character in an animated film. Mm-hmm. Um, and sell merch for life and pajamas and water bottles. Yeah. Um, I actually think starting a haircare company, being the face of it, having to join Instagram and get in the ring with the Blake Livelys and everybody else who's doing haircare, huge people. Yeah. I think that's a harder path to walk. So that's true. For me, I, I start to think that, well, maybe it's born of real passion.

Well, maybe it is.

And here's more information from the pitch. Inspired by her own experiences in the glam chair, the line takes a less is more approach. For too long, the conversation around beauty has been about doing more. More products, more steps, more time, and more maintenance, says J-Law. I don't think it should be that way. The goal of Mess Degree is to make good hair days last longer with formulas designed to revive flat roots, tame what Lawrence calls floofs, and extend the life of a blowout.

There's nothing quite like a perfect-looking model actress telling us we need to do less glam-wise. Like, I find this just not relatable. Yeah, I actually need my hair products to do more than anyone's ever done in their whole lives. Same with makeup. Like, the same way you always say, like, you can't follow an Olivia at Jade Makeup Tutorials 'cause she's 12 and has perfect skin. Like, yeah, my hair needs to be like lit aflame with a torch in order to stay straight and like calm. So I actually don't love that brand philosophy if I'm being honest. But I actually agree with you that it does sound like it could be born out of like true passion. 'Cause like, why else would she do this? But I also felt I, when we were talking about the launch of Blake Brown Beauty and like the concept behind that, this is a person who has access. It was all like, I've learned in the chair. Mm-hmm. Always. And it was I was like, that flopped. It's just like,

but also I think Blake, before, you know, the drama, it ends with us gate, would've been a perfect celebrity to launch a haircare brand. Her hair is iconic and she pretty much, she gets it styled and stuff, but as we know, she styles herself. I think she does a lot of her hair herself. Like she's a hair person.

I actually think it would've flopped regardless. Like she, like lowkey, even before she was persona non grata, had like a lot of businesses like Betty Buzz and like they never really, I

think Betty's still out there.

They are still out there, but they never really took off in like a meaningful way or like became big. And maybe it's haircare. 'Cause when we, let's talk about celebrity haircare. I think of like the way Jen Atkin, and she's like a professional stylist.

Stylist. No, when I think of celebrity haircare, I think of Blake. I think of Beyoncé.

Which also wasn't—

It's going.

Is it?

I think so.

Yeah, but that's like really niche too. Like she's a perfect person for it because like Black haircare products are so like beyond, like she's so sought after and Black haircare products is such a big industry. that like people need specific things. This just sounds like— what is it? What was the first product? Uh,

uh, Multitask Repair Mask. And I think that one costs, um—

Oh yeah, what's the cost?

$52. An intensive repair mask you can wear anytime, anywhere on dry hair. Okay, well that's cool. And it also doubles as a styler for glossy wet hair look. Sounds like I need that. Off Duty. I'll take some Biotin.

I'm sensing that you're actually really easily influenced by like celebrity brands.

Oh no, I just like buying stuff.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And trying things, and I just like stuff.

Yeah, I hate stuff.

Yeah, no, but like, sure, I'll try it. Off Duty Restyling Serum, which is a $44 serum that smooths frizz, restores shine, and reshapes yesterday's style. So like, you got a blowout yesterday, could reshape that blowout a little bit.

If I'm a celebrity and I'm starting a brand, like, I'm not doing hair care, even though I think like a lot of people do want my secret. Um, and my secret is Color Wow. Like, when Color Wow exists, like, other hair care brands really don't need to exist.

Good Roots Volume Mist, a volumizing spray that reduces scalp oiliness for lasting lift.

Sounds good.

Yeah,

but are there a lot of celebrity hair care brands? I'm feeling like no.

I feel like— let's look. Not as much as beauty brands.

Not as much as beauty, right? Beauty's like a huge world.

Celebrity hair brands. JVN, of course. TPH by Taraji

I feel like JVN doesn't count because he's like famous for being a hairstylist. Same with Jen Atkin.

Flawless by Gabrielle Union.

So there's not like a lot of bangers. Like, can you tell me?

No, there's not.

Maybe Mess Degree is the one?

Pattern by Tracee Ellis Ross.

Maybe.

Anomaly by Priyanka Chopra Jonas.

You're kidding.

For You by Tia Mowry.

So none I've actually heard of, mind you.

Lola V by Jennifer Aniston.

Oh, I did know she did some hair schmutz.

Could Die Young by Hayley Williams.

That I knew. That's hair dye, D-Y-E, right? Interesting.

And Sienna Neutrals, Issere.

I didn't know of any of these.

That's actually a lot.

It is.

I didn't know about any of those.

Yeah, me neither. But it doesn't sound like anybody's cornered the market.

No.

So maybe Jennifer Lawrence saw a gap.

Maybe.

Like, unless these products are actually magic in a bottle, like, I'm just doubtful. And it feels so incongruous with the J.Lo that we know. Like, she didn't even have Instagram up until last month.

Yeah.

Not even a haircare brand. It's just such a cliché.

Yeah. And also

she's so not that.

If she does wanna make like good quick money, like she could become a spokesperson like for a perfume or—

No, actually you have convinced me. I don't think that it's a money thing.

Like she could literally go out and get a contract for $10 million today to just like do some commercials and, and that's it.

I don't know. We need to talk about this.

Minimum 10.

But like last month Scarlett Johansson's skincare brand, The Outset, went outta business. So it's like even the best of them, and they had like, you know, a whole social media. That's

what I think about influencers starting clothing brands. It's like it's almost impossible to crack. It's always a good idea. So

the ones that are still around, it's like actually impressive.

Yes, but I don't think they're like huge money makers. I think they're a thorn in everyone's side and they're like, I should have just done a capsule collection.

This is so strange, honestly. Like the more I think about it.

I know.

It's so random from a girl who like has kind of Like, she's, she's so elite and she's so A-list and classy because like she doesn't do anything. She doesn't do press, she doesn't do social media, she just acts and it's enough. She goes to the Oscars and now it's like, now you're in the gutter with the rest of us. Like doing— what are you gonna start meeting up with TikTokers next? Like, actually, yeah, I feel like that's what she's gonna do.

I think this will actually be the complete opposite of what you said. I think this will be the hardest she ever worked and the least amount of money she ever made.

I think she will regret it.

You think? Yeah. Like, I just need to know why.

Because I don't think it'll be successful. And that's not a knock at the products or at JLo. But like hair care celebrity brands is not a thing. And like honestly, Chris Appleton's got it covered. Like we're good. Mm-hmm.

No, there's— we can always go for more hair care brands, but it's like, I don't know what it takes to have a great one.

Yeah. And I don't think she's a person who's known for hair. She's really known for like quirky personality and her fashion.

Especially if you're doing your own hair. Like just because you have amazing hair, cuz you have an amazing hairstylist, like doesn't mean that you know anything

about hair.

And I don't know that she does or that she doesn't. But like, that's why I think influencers like acquired, uh, I think an acquired haircare brand would do better. She does her hair every single day. And we see it in the morning and it's, it's not naturally voluminous or any, it's not like she was like born with better hair than you. She just does it better.

I find this so confusing, honestly. Mm-hmm. And I love JLo, so I'm hoping to be wrong.

And I look forward to finding out how it's pronounced.

And like, hopefully like she launches because she actually found the cure to frizziness. Like, you know, Nobody's actually found the cure to frizz. We can tame it temporarily or whatever. Maybe she found the cure and she just feels that she has to share it with the world.

And as much crap as we talked, I'd be happy to receive the products and give them a whirl.

Go for it.

I got Blake Brown and I had really only good things to say about it.

I used Blake Brown like once and I also thought it was totally good shit.

Yeah, it had really good smells, which some days I like wanted to have good smelling hair like Jesse Draper, but then other days I'm like, I can't deal with all this smell all the time.

Yeah, it's a lot.

How do you live within the smell?

Yeah, I'm trying to—

I can't get it out. I feel like I'm not made for it.

For the most part, every time a celebrity launches like a brand, the products are fine. They're never like poison that's ruining your hair or your skin, but it's just never the best thing you've ever used.

I don't know. I'd say Rhode is the best thing I ever used.

I would agree, actually. There are exceptions to the rule, and Rhode is definitely one of them.

I'd say like the Kylie lip kits were life-changing.

Oh, I wouldn't. I think they were like viral and— but they were dry as hell.

Like, they were life-changing.

Literally, like, good luck opening your mouth. mouth cracking those lips open. That was insane.

But you look amazing.

Yes, you do. And you had the Kylie Lip Kit.

And at that point, at that time, like, the, the trend was really like, can your lipstick stay on like 24 hours?

That crazy cement lips.

The commercials were like 36 hours long wear. It's like, who's wearing lipsticks for 36 hours? But it was just like the race.

Because you said you could.

It was just like us trying to get to the moon before the Soviet Union.

Yeah, right.

Who could have their lipstick last the longest?

And the Kylie Kylie Lip Kit was the winner. Clear, far winner. And

the colors were better than anything.

They were crazy too, and they were like capitalizing on that crazy 2016 like green lip.

But she also had like great like normal colors.

Yeah.

Um, so it can be done, all's to say. Are you ready for our 4th story?

It is our 4th story that's brought to you by Rothy's. So we are obsessed with Rothy's. They're one of our OG sponsors. They make such comfy shoes, and we're currently loving their clogs. We've been seeing clogs everywhere lately, you know, everyone is wearing Out to lunch, out to dinner, at the airport, celebrities. They're very luxe, stylish, and super comfy, and that's why people love them, especially pregnant women, because you can slide them right on. They really are that good. The ones from Rothy's have sold out more than 10 times. Once you slip them on, you will totally get it. They go with everything. They somehow make wearing sweats look really intentional. They're very soft and comfortable, and if you're afflicted with the curse of flat-footedness like I am, you know that a shoe that has like lots of cushion support is super important. That's why I wear a lot of Rothy's, period. I can't really wear ballet flats, but I can wear the flats from Rothy's. And the clogs are super supportive. supportive, super cozy. Like, you can wear them all day if you're in a job where you're on your feet all day. Like, if you work— I feel like a lot of nurses wear clogs.

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Every turd, every jerk.

That's true.

Our 4th story, Olivia Jade has a new man.

Oh my God, I was shocked.

Not only does she have a new man, but I guess that means she's not dating Taylor Fritz.

Well, maybe she saw him like lose in the 2nd round of the US Open and got the ick, 'cause I know I did.

But also people had seen him on Raya. He just seems like he's not ready for a relationship, you know?

Oh, that's not the vibe that I got, 'cause I feel like when you get in the orbit of Olivia Jade, like you don't fuck it up.

You stop all that nonsense.

I think that honestly, if I'm being honest, like I do think him losing at the US Open like was an ick for her. I also think he's like embroiled in like so much drama with like his ex who's like an Instagrammer. And like, I don't think Olivia Jade wants to be a part of that. Like it's a little lowbrow. I think she looks down on that. Yes.

Do you look down on that?

No, no, actually I am that. I love being embroiled in internet drama. Actually I don't. Please don't embroil me in your drama. So I think that like the idea of dating Taylor Fritz was fun, but the execution of it wasn't. Like it wasn't all it was cracked up to be. that I got as a third party with no particular, you know, interest in the matter.

Yeah, I think it wasn't a love match, um, but I think she got like a lifelong friend out of it, and that's Paige Lorenz.

Yes. I do also think that he is the type of tennis player who like can't have a normal life.

That's what I'm saying, 'cause he's number 2.

Yeah, like in, in search of greatness. There are people like we were just talking, Justin Verlander, who can achieve greatness while having a home, a steady home life. Some people really—

He's like a Tom Brady.

Yeah.

You don't wanna be with number 1 or number 2. He's like number— what's, what's Tommy? I

think like 5 or 6. I think he teaches between like 5 and 8.

Oh, I, I thought 12. 12 is a great place to be.

Oh, maybe 12 sounds right.

12 is a great place to be.

It's so you earn like a healthy living and you still can love your wife. Like, yes.

Except I will say, I feel like Scottie Scheffler defies this.

I completely agree.

Because he's number one, been number one for so long. And

while actively rearing children,

has like a beautiful, I mean, a lot of the golfers have like really nice families. nice stable home family lives. Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Not Tiger Woods and—

Not anymore.

Not really Rory sometimes. Oh,

correct.

But like when you watch full swing, all of them are married, like with kids being normal.

That's good. Mm-hmm. I think also like the schedule of certain, I guess golf is like such an international sport. So is tennis that it makes it really hard if you don't like have a stable home life, it makes it hard to like get one. And, um, but golf is too, like the Saudi Arabia thing. Like they're always popping out Dublin.

It's mostly national though, I will say. Yeah, the PGA is a national tour. Like, you know, they have the Ryder Cup, right? But like, those are like once every 2 years.

Well, that helps.

Yeah, they always play something and it's always going on in Scotland.

And so Olivia Jade has a new man who's not famous.

His name is PC Valmorbiddia and he's an Australian art dealer and entrepreneur. What does that mean? I don't know.

The description of his job like does sound like a conman. on. It sounds like the premise of my absolute favorite movie.

But it actually also sounds like, like Jennifer Lawrence's husband is an art dealer.

Is he? Mm-hmm. When I think art dealer, I think Peter Skarsgård from An Education. He's an art thief, actually.

And no, it's definitely the sort of job that can be ambiguous, successful real job, or just be someone who like has maybe family money and collects art and then sells it. And

right, or like, like, uh, like takes care of their parents

Right. Or it also reminds me of that guy from Love Is Blind with the watch.

Yes, Leo. He was actually—

He was a real art dealer.

Yeah. So I feel like maybe Olivia Jade like is not— like didn't have as much fun as she thought she would dating these high-profile celebrities, so she's switching it up.

So now she wants her—

I think the Jacob Elordi relationship like was traumatizing, and seriously, like, fuck him, period. And then Taylor Fritz, it was just like, ick.

Why was that traumatizing?

He like refused to be seen in public with her and then like broke up with her and then got back together with her and like took her to that premiere but like wouldn't let her walk the red carpet, and she's like waiting at the end of the— it's like, have you seen the video of like him getting off the carpet and like walking away from her? Like, it was just horrible. I mean, then he cuts to dating the most famous woman in the world, paparazzi this, I love her, love her, like, so my girl, my girl, my girl. And so then she went for like an athlete, and I think maybe that also—

So by the way, Kendall was still waiting for him at the end of the carpet at the Academy Museum Gala, literally same exact thing.

Yeah, but they went to the same event publicly. Olivia Jade did not walk the carpet at that event, she just was there like at as his girlfriend like walked behind the scenes and waited for him at the end. He didn't treat her well.

I'm just saying he's not doing— he's not like he walked a red carpet with Kendall or anything.

He has been so much more public now. I think the nature of Kendall's life is more public, um, but I just think it must be a slap in the face. Like, this guy who literally hid you is now on the front page of every magazine with the biggest model in the world. So it's like, you don't really care about privacy. And so then I think she went for the athlete thinking it'd be like a different change, and it was just like not fun. And I think he's like really intense and Like, I just get bad vibes from him. So sure, international art dealer slash art thief slash entrepreneur. Sure.

Yeah, I don't think this is the end of the road, but I hope you're having a good time.

I'm having a good time watching like the prettiest girl in the world date beautiful, interesting men. And I hope she continues to do it until she finds the one.

I hope she finds the one.

Of course.

Because that's a lovely feeling.

It is, it is.

Yeah. Um, so that's like I was

shocked. This is how I found out that her and Taylor Fritz were no longer together.

Right. There had been rumors swirling, like people did see him on Raya, but like people always say that about everyone.

Yeah, I don't take those rumors seriously.

And yeah, I—

it's— How do we know it's real?

How do you know it's real? It's not old. Just, I can't.

But also, like, why are you on Raya? Like, if you're a high-profile athlete and you just know, like, your relationships have been in the media, like, what are you doing?

I think he just, like, wants to have sex tonight.

Yeah. But is Raya the place for that? I guess he can't go on Tinder.

No, he can't go on Tinder.

Can't you just like call an old-fashioned like hookup?

Like, I don't think—

how uncool are you? Like, you don't have a friend from high school?

You gonna call Morgz? Like,

no, like you don't have a girl you used to hook up with? You're an athlete. Like, they just sort of wait outside your hotel room.

It's true.

How little game do you have to have?

I think it's just easier to hide behind a screen and like text, be like, you up?

Yeah.

Then like go down to the lobby.

That's so unattractive to me.

Yeah.

Go down to the lobby. sir, go.

Yeah. Um, are you ready for our 5th and final story? I

just wanted to say, like, it's

like, no

niche— uh, no, sorry, not niche— unique opportunity just to bring up the fact that Morgz has us all blocked for literally no reason. It's such an insane thing. It's like, what did we say? I think, I think it was when we, we covered their breakup on the Toast and we just said, like, I guess this settles the war of, like, who's the WAG of the tennis world because one stepped back.

I mean, it Yeah.

She won by default. So that's all we said. Literally the next day, I come to find we're blocked.

But you don't know if she blocked you the next day. She might have blocked you months ago.

But the timing was— why would she have blocked me months ago?

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know her.

I don't know her either. But, um, now I will never get to know her.

Yeah.

Womp womp.

Do you look down on that?

I do. I do. Thank you.

Are you ready for our 5th and final story? Mm-hmm. Another excerpt from Daddy Issues. Oh, really? This is from The Hollywood Reporter. Yes.

And I do wanna share that I actually tried to get an advanced copy of this book because I feel that the marketing's really working on me. I'm like, I need to read it. Mm-hmm. And I went through the proper channels and her team sent back a note. They were like, love Jax and Claude. Like, thanks for the support, but we're not giving out advanced copies. I feel like I can't remember a time where a book hasn't given out advanced copies since like—

Everyone always wants to send us their book.

No, not even just us. Like when a book has had like a total embargo, I can't even remember. Like, I feel like it's like a Snowden. Like, what the hell is in this book? Snowden. You know what I mean?

Yeah.

Well, Sophia Snowden.

No, everyone, everyone always wants to send us their book. We're a pop culture podcast. We read a lot. Like everyone's like, how can we get you a copy? It's true. So to request one and not be able to get one. And

I wanna say, I don't think she's withholding just from us. Like I do feel like she's put through like a, a company-wide embargo. No, no, no.

The world is lovely. And it's a good idea because you don't want stuff leaking because every little excerpt is really like a meal. So,

and also I just wanna say she posted yesterday, she had like a spread in the Hollywood Reporter. reporter, and the title was Sophia Gets Frank, which should be the name of her podcast. Hmm. Just, I thought it was such a great title.

Well, I wonder if after the book and everything, if there will be like a rebrand of some sort or like a redirection.

I do like that she, in the title of her book, took back the term daddy. Like, Alex obviously took that and like made it her thing, father figure. Um, but it was both of their things. Like, they came up with it, and she has every right to— she should have done it at the time.

I just want to say there's nothing she could have done at the time.

I know, I know. And also, as we learn now in the book, and I think I could have guessed, she was frozen with fear, with like shame. Like she couldn't physically move. Like,

yeah, she lost before the war even started. And this excerpt actually shares a little bit of that. So it's called Sophia Franklin on the Phone Calls That Ended Her Relationship with Alex Cooper.

Oh, I'm sorry, I did read this and there's major tea in there.

There's major tea in here.

That's— they actually

Yes.

Yeah.

So after— should I do another dramatic reading?

The last time you read an excerpt, I had chill— excerpt— I had chills down my spine. So why don't you take a sip of your—

Let's do it one more time, even though it's been over an hour.

Why don't you take a sip of your beverage, moisten those muscles.

Sit back and relax, everybody. After months of negotiating with Barstool and Dave Portnoy over the IP for Call Her Daddy, it's impossible for things not to be tensed and charged between me and Alex, and our resentment toward each other for being stuck in this standstill becomes more and more blatant. I feel so worn down. We're killing ourselves in our friendship by endlessly trying to prove ourselves on diametrically opposed points. I feel severed from the person I'm fighting both against and for. It's too backward, and mics have been down for weeks. We need to come back alive. I ask Alex to FaceTime me and remind myself to be nice. I tell her we can't— we can stay. So there's quotes in this, and I—

She recorded it, right?

Yeah, I don't know. I feel like elsewhere in the book she will let us know how these are quotes or if these are like loosely

I got the sense that she had recorded the phone call and this was a transcription of it.

Well, she recorded a lot of phone calls then, 'cause there was a lot of phone calls. She should. Between different people. She said, I can't do this anymore. I just don't wanna roll over on all the points. She sounds relieved. No.

Wait, who said that?

Uh, Sophia said, I can't do this anymore. So Sophia sort of wants to like give up the fight, but not roll over on everything. But like—

But make it work.

Yeah. She sounds relieved. I think that is

Alex.

Alex. No, 100%. Totally. Yeah. Yeah, we're going to make sure we get everything we need. I get the call from mine and Alex's lawyer Bruce. Bruce says Alex is requesting separate representation. Yikes. And Sophia goes, okay, like you have to represent us as individuals and not as Call Her Daddy?

So innocent.

Bruce, well, I can still represent you if you want. Sophia, wait, I'm sorry, I'm so confused. Why would you all of a sudden not represent me? We've been doing this for months. Bruce, so when there's joint representation and one person decides to seek separate counsel, sometimes people feel it's, I don't know, uncomfortable or unfair to use a person they once shared. So Alex got her own attorney? She's not working with us or you anymore? That's correct, but it's up to you if you want to continue. I can't see straight. I feel a pit of fear opening inside of me and try to think it away. Mavery's separate counsel is smart. We let our lawyers handle handle it. They can have the tough conversations on our behalf. That's actually better. We focus on the show, the partnership. We don't have to live in the intensity anymore. Bruce is calling again. Hello? Hi, Sophia. One more thing and then I'll send over that form for you to sign. I reviewed Alex's contract. Remember you guys told me you had the same agreement, so I was just working off of yours. But what was the basis for her higher compensation?

I feel like I've been told someone died. As in, she's making more money than me. Yeah, is that not something you talked about? No. Understood. I'm silent. Do you think that's weird she lied to you about it? I press. He said, well, it's something to—

It's crazy that she lied to the lawyer.

Yeah. He said, well, it's something to keep in mind. His unwavering neutrality is off-putting now. His lack of bravado also. But I am putting it back in a box for later. I'll think about it then. I don't know what else to do. All rationality is gone. The bitch. I feel pure hatred. I might combust. Who is this person? Alex, who is she? Am I stupid? Gullible? Dumb? Naive? Living something that wasn't true? That's not true? Was she ever my friend? She was. I saw it. I felt it. I live in her apartment. Our apartment. I take the train to work with her, and then I sit next to her at work, and then I take the train home with her together, and then we go to Bubby's and order pancakes if we feel like it. I've seen her cry. She's seen me. Really seen How long has she been carrying this secret? Am I so bad she was scared to tell me and still is? But the secret is so small. Who cares? She knows I wouldn't if she just told me. What was so bad about it that she lied to our attorney, sent him into meetings like the village idiot?

Yeah. I think about every contract conversation we've ever had, jokes, how we share every single fucking thing with each other— space, time, emotions, work, pain, highs, shame, heartbreak, family. Alex wouldn't do this, lie about something so stupid. stupid to me. When did she start making more money? Why wouldn't she just tell me about it? Not just as a friend, but while we're sitting in meetings and calls for 6 months fighting for fair pay as co-owners. Why is she doing this? What is the truth? Mooji, Alex's best friend from high school, the MILF hunter— he's the only person who can answer my questions, if he'll even answer my call. We're on bad terms right now, but are we really? Alex is the one who fired him. Regardless, if I were him, I wouldn't want to talk to me either. But who can I talk to? Alex is out of reach now. She's literally not responding to me. But even if she was, can I trust her at all? Who is this person? I'm confused and angry and disturbed. What is real? Our walks to get pizza, adding red pepper flakes, her skinny wrists bobbing up and down, her legs sprawled out on our new couch, seeing her head cocked back in the light of her computer, cackling for hours, doing every single, every single load of laundry together in the basement, half fucking around, half genuinely scared we were going to be murdered.

murdered, dancing in the living room to Demi Lovato and Kelly Clarkson and Carrie Underwood and Hannah Montana. Was it all fake, or is dumbass Bruce fake? I'm dropped into a panic attack, all my memories flashing violently in front of me, only to suddenly vanish when I sink into a sea of dread. I try not to drown by repeating things that still feel true, like that calling Mooji would be a betrayal to Alex. Mm-hmm. Our trust is broken, but there must be a reason she lied. There will be an explanation, and I don't want to commit treason in the process of whining out, like still trying to be a good friend. But I can't live with this mindfuck for another minute without answers. Muji sends me to voicemail twice and then picks up. What up? Why does he insist on acting, acting so unbothered? What is this tactic? Oh, I don't know, Muji. You used to work at the Barstool office, right? I'm sure you've heard a thing or two about what's been going down. No, I haven't. Fucker. I have no one else to talk to about this, she says. He says, about what? About what?

You know exactly what. About Sorry, but I can't help you. Seriously, Mooji? I mean, I feel bad, but at the end of the day, I really can't. Did you know about her raise? Like $20K more than me? I blurt out, last ditch effort. Look, I really wish I could help you. Click. I inhale so hard from my Juul that the pod leaks onto my tongue.

LOL, relatable.

Buzz buzz, it's Mooji, back for more. What's up? He sounds chipper now. He might actually be insane. He says, Cooper doesn't have friends. I've watched it happen since high school, you know what I mean? I need him to stay on track. Did you know she was making more money than me? I knew the whole time. Why wouldn't she tell me? I wouldn't even be mad if she had a bonus or something. I've said that to her face. She didn't tell you because she didn't want you to know she tried to get you fired. We stay on the phone for another hour, maybe more. I have no sense of reality, much less of time. Moochie tells me Alex has even reached out to him recently asking him to come on as a Hire him back? Has she been anticipating a switch-up? He tells me this shit started years ago. I feel like I need to purge the last 2 years of my life. I wanna wash myself from the inside out. All of my memories are violated. Do I need to get my sight checked? What did I miss? It's not just the last few months.

There were secrets even at the peak of our friendship. I thought Mooji would give me an answer to today, to our battle with Dave and where to go next. But I know now it goes even further back. Right. Is this who she is? I think about all the times I thought we were sisters, all the moments when it felt like the energy of the world could be generated from us ping-ponging off each other in love. alone. Where did that girl go? Who am I without her? Mooji ends the call by repeating that he saw it coming all along and hangs up. I'm in shock. No moves left besides throwing my phone at the wall as hard as I can.

Oh my God. That

scene.

Yeah, well done, first of all. Excellent reading.

Well done, Sofia.

I mean, wow. So it feels— it feels like at the time Alex's sort of defense was that, you know, she does more work and Sofia was being greedy, yada yada. And

this was all shared in Alex's episode when— before the funeral when she came back.

On YouTube.

Yeah, I forget what it was called.

Yeah, but, uh, well, See Fuckers Wednesday.

That's how it ended, but whatever it was called.

Yeah, so I think that like the, the side that she always maintained was like she was sort of left no choice but to get rid of Sophia. It's like, we— I had this opportunity, I took it. She wasn't moving on all these deal points and I was doing all the work anyway. And now it seems as though like if you get a bonus— and, and I think Sophia, I think she's honest when she says like, yeah, if Alex was making more money, like she was doing more like technical stuff behind the scenes.

And Sophia like would have been okay with that.

Of course. secret. So keeping that secret for so long and then like making these moves, it just sort of debunks Alex's defense of like, well, I had no choice, like this all happened at the last minute, like we needed to make a deal. But it's like, well, if you were keeping secrets from her and it wasn't all fun and light and positive and you were like looking to do these sort of backdoor deals with MILF Hunter, that's not true.

Yeah, and that like plans were like— things were laid in advance, like this wasn't just like she got, you know, took this deal. Sofia's not moving. I can't do the show with her and I'm going on without her. Like, there was betrayal along the way. And I feel like even though nothing here feels completely new except for like Mooji saying that— is that her name, Mooji?

Well, no, I didn't know that she was making more money. Did you know that? Yes.

Oh, okay. Everybody knew that.

Oh, did they?

Okay. Yeah.

Or that Sofia didn't know that?

Yeah, I think Alex at the time said it was like, I think she got like a bonus from like Dave and Erika 'cause they were doing such a good job.

To keep her happy.

To keep her happy. And they gave it to her and not Sofia 'cause like she was doing more of the work And that she kept it from Sofia because she like didn't wanna upset her.

Ruffle feathers.

Yeah. But Alex did share all that, so that's not new. But it's like hearing it from Sofia's side and knowing like, and I think at the time, and this was in the other excerpt, that Alex really painted this picture of Sofia as being just like so lazy. And I'm sure, you know, I'm sure at the time, and if you watch their vlogs, they're like living in this apartment, they're going out. I'm sure there's like a lot of like, you know, drinking, drinking, just like slovenliness and

young girl stuff.

Yeah. And I think she tried to like paint this picture of Sophia that like, you know, Sophia was just like this sort of liability and Alex is ready to be like a business person. But I think like the— for the reasons that Sophia was a liability were the same reasons why she was great on the show.

The

talent, the sharing the stories and having these crazy stories and doing these crazy scenes. Like someone actually has to live it, live the life, and then you can't like punish that person for them being hungover the next day.

1,000%. That's what I was saying. Like Alex's gift is the presentation of it all, right? What is she presenting? Sofia's stuff. And so yes, if you're gonna be the girl who tells a story about, you know, going to prison and accidentally doing crack, you have to go to prison and accidentally do crack. You have to walk the walk and talk the talk. So Sofia was doing that. So sorry she couldn't wake up and make a hype trailer, um, on Premiere Pro.

Yeah.

Now I think the craziest part of this is the lawyer stuff. It is insanely duplicitous to have a lawyer represent you and your friend for 6 months and not even have the lawyer know know the true terms of your deal? How can he properly advocate on your behalf?

Yeah.

I'm sure the Barstool lawyers were like, what the hell's going on?

Yeah.

That's really crazy.

Yeah. Yeah. It's just all these like little things that we knew at the time, but hearing them from her POV and like how hurtful that is and have to find out that she's been making more this whole time that like now she's not answering your calls.

And also I imagine if Safiya knew that all this—

And then, and then you go and say to her, okay, like let's go back and just like—

And they agreed to like, like to just make it work.

Take a couple of the points and just move on, just to give it up. Alex says okay and then goes and finds another lawyer and ditches her.

I think that if Alex had told Sophia about the bonus, Sophia would have been okay with it. I think Alex didn't tell her about the bonus because Alex sort of preferred to be the person doing more work, because then she could say, I need to go out on my own, I do everything myself anyway. So if she had said, I'm getting a bonus for doing all this extra work, Sophia would have been like, that's great, by the way, I can do work too, like let's split it, or She didn't even want Sophia to do the work. I think it was actually very convenient that Sophia was this like lazy, greedy one.

And like not paying attention.

Because then that was like sort of the hill that she died on, Alex, which was like, well, I make all the videos and I edit all the episodes and I publish everything. And it's like, well, you could ask for help. Like, did you ever at once say to Sophia, like, can we start splitting some of the admin?

Yeah.

No, because it was actually more convenient for you.

And then you control the show. She— and Sophia doesn't know how to edit a podcast and you keep her dumb.

Yep. Yeah, exactly. And you— yeah, exactly. And you keep her at like a second tier and then you're over here complaining about the second tier. But like, who invented that system?

Yeah.

I can't wait for this fucking book.

And I think Dave said this in his book that like the two of them, there was so much like bad—

The chaos.

Yeah, no, and like that there was drama, but they were never gonna make it together because like they had drama and beef. And I think that like, that's what Alex was portraying to Dave and Erika, like, oh, Sofia. And I think Sofia had no idea and thought this was her best friend in the world.

Advocating on their behalf.

And if there was ever like tension or whatever, well, that's like normal in a friendship and they lived together and they work together, and like, you can have— you can have cabin fever. And I think like Alex was telling like people at Barstool that, oh, it's not what it seems. Meanwhile, Sofia's having the time of her life, like living a dream with her best friend, actually making like pretty good money, on track to make even more money, and had no idea that they were not on the same page.

Yeah, I, I agree. And so I don't even almost fault Barstool for just wanting it to end and giving it to Alex, being like, sure, it seems like these two are never going to work it out anyway. But that's sort of like a convenient story that Alex was telling everyone.

Yeah, like planting seeds.

Yeah.

You know, and so by the time Sophia woke up in this day, in this chapter—

She was 3 years behind. Late. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yikes.

Yeah. When does the book come out again?

November something.

November—

12th?

It's not even November 12th. In here, like on the—

I need to put it so it shows up at 10th.

November 10th. Okay, so I'll finish Calamity Club, then I have to read Partita for Redheads.

Toast to Ween, obviously.

And then I think after Partita, I'll be— it'll hopefully be ready for me to read.

Does kind of throw a wrench in your book club, cuz like if I'm reading a book in the next—

We should read this for the book club. Oh, I'll talk to my co-chair,

see if you guys can switch things up.

Yeah, we definitely can. We make the rules.

Then I'll be there.

We make the rules.

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