Transcript of Bye, Bye, Bottom Boys: Wednesday, October 28th, 2026

Good morning, girlies, it's The Toast. It's Jax and Claude and we're your hosts. It's your favorite show, the fast 5 things you need to know. We'll start your day off swirly, it's The Toast. I sound amazing.

Welcome back to The Toast and happy hump day. It's a great hump day to be alive.

It is.

I've been looking forward to this episode.

Because?

'Cause yesterday you told me you had something you wanted to tell me, but you couldn't tell me because you wanted to tell me on the toast.

Oh my God, I have so much to tell you.

Let me tell you, I've thought about it like 4 times since.

Let me tell you, I was driving in and I thought of something else I wanted to tell you. How exciting. Did someone remind me Tate McRae, okay? And then I was thinking, I was like, I feel like there was other things I wanted to talk about on the show today.

You told me that you asked Zach if—

Guys, guys, I have all the answers, okay? So on the Patreon, Claudia—

Oh, we didn't share this story with the girls.

But we did clip it. We clipped it, so most people have seen it.

Okay, I told everyone that over the weekend I was torturing Ben being like, if I died, which one of my sisters would you wanna marry? And he was like, none of them. And literally for an hour—

He was trying to kill me.

Yeah, I begged him. And eventually he said, he relinquished and he said Jackie, 'cause they have a lot of fun together. And then the more I thought about it, it's like a beautiful story that you would become Ruby's mother. And I actually ship you two, and I'm really looking forward to it. And then we were thinking, what would the other husbands in our family say? So you asked your husband.

And you told me, ask my husband, give it some time. Right. Then ask him. I didn't have to ask him because he saw our clip. And he said, oh.

Supportive king.

He said, oh, so Ben said he would choose you. And I was like, yeah, isn't that cool? Isn't that so cute? He was like, well, what about me? Right. Like, I'm still around in this situation. You know, I thought— I was like, stop, it's hypothetical.

I, obviously he came to mind when we were having the conversation, but it was so unimportant.

It's not, we're outside the bounds of reality.

I'm alive. So am I. What about me? Like, please.

Like, it's hypothetical. He could not wrap his mind around the hypothetical.

But then did you ask him?

Of course I did. Mm-hmm. I said, so who would you choose? you want to, uh, if you had to be with a sister? And he said, and we had this conversation on the show about what we thought he would say. This is on the Patreon. He said, probably Margot.

That's what I said.

That's what you said. And it's like, I know my husband better than himself because I know that's the wrong answer for him.

Yeah, of course they would not get along.

They would not get along at all. She would honestly be terrible for him. And I was like, really? Like not. And I was like, you just like, like Margot now because she's like out of our hair and you think that that's like what it would be like.

Right.

But I was like, I think it should be Olivia. Like, I think you and Olivia are

compatible.

Are compatible. He was like, oh no, no. I'm like, no, I think that's actually like exactly—

I literally told you he would say Margo.

But it's only because like absence makes the heart grow fonder. Yeah. I'm telling you, he has no idea he's in for a world of pain.

Oh my God. Like meanest wife ever.

A world of pain.

Hilarious.

Yeah. And he was like, then after that he was like, but I'm around, whatever. I'm like, we play these hypothetical games all the time. Like, who's your celebrity crush?

Right.

He was like, who is your celebrity crush? And I was like, we were just saying like, I don't have one. He doesn't really have one. I was like, you know, it's like hard for me 'cause I just think everyone's a moron. Like, and just like with—

Oh, so you would say you look down on everyone?

I would say I look down on everyone. Yeah. So like, it's not that simple for me. Mm-hmm. And he was like, hmm. And he started to think, he was like, what about Chris Pratt? I said, what about Chris Pratt?

Yeah. You are often like defending him randomly.

He is a family man. He

is super handsome. Does he like your— are there works of his that like you really like?

Yes. Bride Wars.

Of course. Bride Wars. Of course. But that's like OG. Of course. That's that Chris Pratt.

Of course. But I don't watch— Chris Pratt. I don't watch Parks and Rec. I don't watch Guardians of the Galaxy.

Like Avengers type?

No, but like he's a family man, like real family values. Mm-hmm. He's so cute.

Good Christian values.

Good Christian values.

That's so you.

He's so cute.

He's very handsome.

I think that's my celebrity crush. And my husband, he knows me, helped you figure it out better than I know myself.

That's really beautiful that he navigated you there.

So I had 2 answers for you today.

I love that.

Then when I—

we could double date, me, you, Joe Jonas,

or me. I was like, you're gonna say me, you, Ben.

No. And then our celebrity crushes.

Would our celebrity crushes get along?

Joe Jonas and Chris Pratt? Like, why not?

Why not?

Literally, why not?

I don't see why not.

Actually, his dad was a pastor, my boyfriend Joe. Um, Chris is a man of faith.

So alert, alert, I have a celebrity crush.

Alert the church elders, she has a crush.

Then I wanted to talk about Tate McRae because I was listening to new music in the car and her new song Housewife came on.

I just wanna make—

Which I'm enjoying the song. I feel like she's speaking to me, just not speaking to herself.

Yeah, right. Um, who is this song for?

And then have you seen the COVID art for the song? I don't think—

I'm sure that I have. Let me see,

because it struck me and I would love to get your thoughts.

Does she look so different?

No.

Oh,

go to Spotify.

People are having the conversation about like she— her looking so different.

Well, she looks great.

Oh, pushing the baby, the silver cross in a bikini. Oh, and the— and the silver cross is money.

I didn't know there was money. I just assumed it was— there's like a baby in there too, cuz like what are you pushing a stroller for?

No, there's no baby in there. It's just money. Okay. Um, you want me to give my thoughts on this?

Yeah.

Uh, she has a beautiful physique.

I didn't like it.

Okay. I don't love it either, but I can't tell you why.

I know. That's how I felt too. I was like trying to form my argument in my head. I'm like, I just feel like people are gonna like really hate what I have to say. And also it's like, I'm not saying it properly, but all I'll say is like something about that hit me wrong. That's what I'll say. Okay.

And you know what?

You can say you don't feel that way. And like, is Steve McRae pushing a stroller? Is that— that's what she's doing? That's what I thought. I said, she's pushing a stroller?

Yeah.

No words.

No words. You know what, let me, um—

In a bikini too. It's like, actually offensive to mothers.

Well, let me bring up a conversation about mothers that's being had that I would love to hear your thoughts on.

Paris Hilton. Yes.

So Paris Hilton is currently going viral 'cause she shared her Halloween costume, her and her whole family dressed up as Beauty and the Beast. And people are kind of freaking out because she's Belle and her daughter, who like, assuming— we're assuming is like the Beauty and the Beast fan, is dressed up as— there's a little bit of controversy as to whether she's she's Chip or Mrs. Potts, but the consensus is that she's Mrs. Potts. And then Paris Hilton actually commented that she's Chip. Um, and a lot of people are like really put off by this because like, why wouldn't you make the daughter the princess? And I've actually seen interesting discourse. When I first saw people pointing it out, I was like, oh yeah, that is weird. Like, why is it like you making this about yourself? But then someone else was like, I hate when families dress up as like Disney characters. Like, the dad is the prince and the daughter's a princess and the mom is like the frog. Like, moms get no respect.

That's a separate argument.

And Paris did comment saying the daughter wanted to be Mrs. Potts. Let me explain to you how I saw

And like, I can wrap this thing up in a bow. Okay. Because if you've been following Paris Hilton forever, which I have, she does Halloween every year, big photo shoot, et cetera. I saw this photo organically on my timeline and I was like, oh, she's doing her Halloween shoot. And this time she has her kids in it, but it's about her. This is her social media. I don't think this was her kids trick-or-treating.

They haven't, they haven't gone trick-or-treating.

They didn't go anywhere. I think they just literally did a photo shoot because she does that every year. I don't think this was her kids' Halloween. It was like, hey, come be an extra in my photo shoot. Mommy's working right now.

Yeah.

Right. Because mommy does this every Halloween. And now that we have kids, we can have some pictures. background characters, but I'm the princess.

Right. Don't get it twisted.

But I don't think it was like in any way having anything to do with her kids. Like this was just like Paris's Halloween photo shoot and she's certainly not gonna be— Mrs.

Potts?

And then separately from that, I agree the mom doesn't have to be the frog.

Yeah. And it's like, of course the dad is the prince and like the princess is the daughter, but like where does that leave room for mom?

Is that always, I guess I don't have daughters, so I don't really know how it always is. Like I'm always just like the token female in the group.

Of course. Which you're very blessed. You know, we talk a lot about, you know, we're not gonna have anyone to take care of us when we're older, but sort of being boy mamas, we do get the good costume.

I got to be Princess Fiona.

Huge honor. The honor of a lifetime.

Like, when we do superheroes, I'm Wonder Woman. Mhm. Um, so I, I think, yeah, I feel bad about whatever other people are going through. If you've had to be a frog.

Yeah.

But I think this is so Paris Hilton. It's like, you're looking—

Both— if you—

you're looking at it backwards though. You're, you're seeing it as kids first, and I see everything as kids first, but like, this is just Paris's usual Halloween content, and now she gets to put her kids in it. And isn't that so cute?

I'm excited to announce that we have a new picture frame for our Businessman of the Week, who we discovered yesterday is a gentleman named Shel Silverstein. What was his name?

Stephen Silverstein.

Stephen Silverstein. Literally same thing. Um, he is the CEO of one of the greatest establishments of all time, Spirit Halloween. We respect his hustle, we respect their business model, and we're excited to welcome him to the Businessman of the Week family. I will be placing him on the shelf behind me.

Great job, Stephen. Also, I was gonna say family costumes oftentimes depend on what is available at Spirit Halloween because—

It's an inventory issue.

Because when we went to Spirit Halloween this weekend, it was based on—

Gender.

Yeah, and gender.

Yeah.

Except we were gonna— we don't really gender bend. We haven't, but I would've.

You would've.

Yeah, maybe when we had our other idea. of all being Farquaads.

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. But gender, I mean, Lord Farquaad is a gender fluid character.

I agree.

I don't think he belongs to one specific gender. I just, that's just how Sue sees it.

Yeah, and that's just on the fact that Spirit Halloween had bottomless inventory for Shrek.

Now today's episode is not sponsored by Spirit Halloween. It is though sponsored by McDonald's, one of our favorite partners. I had McDonald's for lunch yesterday. I figured all this talk about McDonald's and I haven't had it in a while. And I found myself near McDonald's in the car Eating McDonald's is like kind of reserved for the car. I can't remember the last time, actually, I can remember the last time I ate at a physical McDonald's and that was when I went to the McDonald's in Israel. Cuz it's more of like an experience. Everything's kosher. You can really eat whatever you want. But no, I ate in the car and I made a TikTok. Of course it was one of like the best 20 minutes of my life.

You didn't post to Reels for the Reels mamas?

I didn't post to Reels. I meant to actually, and I forgot I was gonna post it on the toast.

You should post to Reels.

I know. I'm like constantly making content on TikTok and forgetting about my Reels community.

Yeah, I've been posting to Reels and I'm having a lot of fun because I've realized Reels doesn't have to be so serious.

You've

realized, I've realized, like, and I've noticed other creators, like they post to Reels the way that like I would've posted to stories. And it's

like, and that's the, the mentality on TikTok too. It's like nobody cares how many times you post or aesthetic.

I'm starting to like strip that away that nothing, everything doesn't have to be perfect.

We grew up in like the blogger era of Instagram where like it was very curated. You had to post X amount of times today, nothing more, nothing less. It had to be like highly, um, edited. And no, the kids these days, they don't react well to that.

Yeah. No, like everything is just like, come as you are.

That's beautiful.

So I'm sort of going through like a Reels conversion, conversion therapy.

Last night was also Dancing with the Stars, which is our lead story, and I don't think we should dilly-dally too much because—

Yeah, no, I feel like we covered a lot. I have a celebrity crush. My husband would marry Margot and he would live to regret it.

And I sat at a traffic light—

And then he'd come begging you and Olivia to take him back.

1,000%. And we'd say no. Like, we tested you and you failed.

Totally.

And then just like a personal anecdote is that I sat at a red light for 9 minutes, um, It was so crazy. I was like kind of experiencing a psychosis through the 9 minutes. I thought for sure that the light was broken. Like I diagnosed it.

It definitely, it was not functioning properly.

Because it was a turning. I won't bore you guys with the details, but it was turning left.

If you like, are, if I guess other states have lanes like this.

I mean, the roads here are insane. It's like a 6-lane, not a highway, just like a road. Everyone going straight got a green light. Of course I'm going left, so I don't get my light yet. I get a special left arrow. It's like not coming. And I've noticed that the people who are going straight have now gotten their 3rd green light.

And you know that the left arrow comes on right before your straights go straight.

Exactly. So I realize that it might be broken and people around me are definitely having the same sort of experience. They start leaving and I'm in a position like I'm at the outermost lane. I can't leave. So I'm like, what, what do you do in a situation like that? Let's say the light never changed. Like, what do you do?

Yeah, you have to, that's like, you have to take matters into your own hands. And like, for how long I would've had to, it's actually a bit of a, of a societal experiment because it's like, how long will you blindly follow?

Exactly. And I guess like 9 minutes in the grand scheme of the world is not a lot.

Unabomber would hate that.

You know what? I was also thinking of the Unabomber cuz I was like, I'm serious. I was getting so angry. Mm-hmm. It was definitely a societal experiment.

Yeah.

I failed actually. No, I mean, what do you consider succeeding? I sat there like a, like a moron, like everyone else.

You sort of failed.

Yeah.

You failed like the human test.

But then the people, but the people who left and then like found another route, they also failed because the light did eventually change. You know?

Yeah. I think you failed more.

And let me tell you this, not to blame you, but I did take your shortcut.

One of my hacks.

And I will never be taking it again. Exactly. I didn't know that was— I've been taking it. I've been taking that hack a lot and I meant to tell you that it's a great little shortcut. Never again. I didn't know that was an option.

No, I had a negative experience yesterday, so I didn't do it today. And when I lived in my old house and I would drive here, there was one perfect way for me. Like after troubleshooting it, I would never switch it up. Now I'm realizing like every day is different based on just like traffic, From my route now, like, there's no perfect route.

Let me tell you, the one I took today was an imperfect route.

That was me yesterday. I'm sorry that happened.

You should have told me. Like, I literally— I was so mad and I left so early. I was like, I'm gonna get there so early today, maybe I'll get like a croissant. No, I was so late. Like, literally so late.

I'm cracking. Okay, well, let's get into the fast 5 stories that you need to know.

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Thank you, T-U-R-T.

You're welcome.

J-U-R-T. Our first story, Dancing with the Stars recap. It was Halloween Horror Night with guest judge Shirley Ballas, who is my new favorite person.

Literally make Shirley Ballas a permanent judge. Yes, she brings such a level of seriousness, and I felt like the other judges like were kind of like put on, put on their ass a little bit. And I could tell as the night progressed, everyone was doing like a little bit more critiquing, even though I found a lot of the times, especially with Carrie Ann and Derrick, every time they got their moment to talk, they like didn't know what they wanted to say.

Yeah, Carrie Ann, like, forgot what she wanted to say one time.

A lot of times they were like, my friend, that was like— they didn't know what they were going to say. And it's like, I, I actually think Shirley, coming with very Shirley, technical direct, and people were DMing me like, yes, Claudia, you loved Shirley, but she gave Tatiana a 4. And the thing is, I love Tatiana, but maybe she deserved a 4. Like, I respect the seriousness with which she took her job.

She even brought her little shoes. That was so cute and so helpful.

Obsessed.

Helpful to the contestants and helpful to the people at home.

Let's go through—

The dances.

Well, it started off crazy because Julia Stiles went first and Julia Stiles got a 4.

Yes.

People haven't gotten 4s since like week 2. Yes. So it really set the tone. And obviously I've been hard on Julia Stiles, so I really appreciated the fact that like we weren't just like going off of her lore. Like everything thus far has been like—

And everybody's scores are going up, and it's like in the beginning they were starting with like 5s and 6s just so that there was room to grow, but now the judges have left behind 5s and 6s because that would be like kind of cruel. But not Shirley.

No, she don't give a fuck.

And the dance stunk.

The dance stunk. Um, their facial reactions when she pulled out a 4, and they also— not only the 4s, like which was obviously shocking They got 7s. Like, that was— she had the lowest scores pretty much of anyone, and their faces were insane. I don't know if you noticed, she like was not there for the rest of the episode. Like, I didn't see her in the background.

A lot of people weren't in the skybox, and I didn't know who was— who were those people in the skybox? I was like, do I just not recognize them in their costume, or— So I meet new people.

I meet a new troupe member every week because I'm like, why is there an actual stranger in the skybox? Yeah, it's a troupe member who might have— and they were all in costume, so I was giving grace to myself for not knowing who anyone was.

Yeah, it also was made worse by the fact that Julie was wearing like pale gray makeup because she looked like ash in the way you would think she would look after getting hit by a car.

Like the blood drained from her face.

The blood was actually drained from her face.

Before.

And it was painted on.

It wasn't a good dance. Um, once again, package left nothing to be desired.

Yeah. Oh, Ezra and her like got into a tiff.

Oh wait, that was like low-key awkward. Um, and I actually felt bad for Ezra.

Yeah.

And I feel that like, what did— what style did she do?

She did Argentine tango, I think.

Which I think 2 other people did, and it's clearly one of the harder ones. And I feel like— and I felt this way, you know, up until this week— is that her dances are like usually kind of easy. And I feel like this was the first time she was really challenged, and she kind of like

didn't rise to the occasion.

Yeah.

Also, I would say a lot of the dances were a hot mess last night, given the fact that it's Halloween Horror Night. You're dancing about a movie, you're in costume, you're doing the Argentine tango, and you have like horror music playing.

And it's like a skit too.

It's acting. And it was, um, some of the people, when it's done well, like really nailed it. But a lot of it was like really messy and just too much going on.

And ever since you said like a couple of weeks ago how much better the show would be if everybody danced the same style, I feel like last night was even more. I really would've appreciated everyone dancing the same because doing a contemporary and doing an Argentine tango are so different.

Especially on Halloween night. Doing a contemporary on Halloween night is, is a skit, a slam dunk. Oh, of course, Connor. But I'm also thinking of, um, you know, that iconic Iman Shumpert and Daniela Carraga Halloween dance. Um, it's just, they go hand in hand. The Argentine tango and the Rocky Horror Picture Show don't really necessarily—

Yeah. And then like the, the throwing of the movies in, it was confusing.

There was a lot going on.

Why wasn't like Halloween enough of a theme?

Right. With just like a Halloween song and costumes. But no, we also have to tell the story of the movie.

Of the movie. Yeah. I don't know.

Maybe like Hulu is launching a new horror section on Hulu.

Well, next week is Disney night, but it's Disney on Broadway. So I have a feeling we'll be hearing all about the 10 Things I Hate About You production that's going into— Oh, you think? Yeah.

Oh, I thought it was gonna— it means like Beauty and the Beast. Yes, of course.

No, but I think we'll hear about it too. Like maybe, you know how they do their sponsorships.

Yeah. Interesting. Okay, then Harry Shum Jr. and Jenna Johnson got the first perfect score of the season, 40 out of 40. They danced, um, for the movie Saw to, uh, of Toxic.

And what was their

dance style? It doesn't say here.

I thought it was great. The way I've kind of turned a corner on Harry Shum and Jenna Dewan in the sense that like they still, I really don't connect with them like on any level, but I can appreciate the fact that they are insanely talented. They will both make the top 4, but I doubt either of them will win because they really don't have fans in the sense of like people from the show who are getting to know them. Like everybody comes with X amount of fans and then you get new fans as you go 'cause you know you're introduced to new audiences and I just don't find either of them like particularly personally compelling, but the dances, both of them were insane.

Yeah, they danced really well. This one in particular didn't like stir anything in me. And for it to be the first perfect score of the season is just kind of a bummer cuz it wasn't like that Jordan Fisher moment I've been waiting for.

No, but the fact that Shirley gave them a 10, like she has my blind loyalty and trust. Of course. I was like, oh, it must have been a 10.

It's a 10. Then it's a 10.

Shirley says it's a 10.

It's a 10. Like, and that's what a judge should be like, a trusted source. Then Tatiana and Yan, they did the Paso Doble. for, uh, dancing to Sinners. Like, I don't know how to describe what, what people are doing.

I felt really awkward because like Shirley, who has her facts and her technical critiques, was really coming for Jan, which is just like such a bad place to be. And I guess like he didn't have like some key moves that are required to like be considered a pasodoble. So I think when they got saved, he was so relieved. Like, what's worse than getting sent home and like the pro fucked up? Like, yeah, you're really not supposed to do that.

But it's also like, was he watering down the dance to meet her where she's at. Maybe. And if he put in all that stuff, it would've been a mess.

Yeah, I really love Tatiana, and I find that like when I love her dances, it's because like her personality shining through and she's like sharing stuff with us. I don't know if I necessarily like love her technique.

Right.

Um, and so last night—

That's okay too. Yeah,

of course. Last night,

like Guillermo,

nobody got really personal last night. Like no one was sharing stuff.

I mean, it's hard to get personal on Halloween Horror Nights, especially Especially after the momentum of dedication night, it's like, okay, we can just take a beat for a second and have fun.

Yeah, and so I didn't have fun while watching her. She's still my queen, and I did vote for her because I felt like she was on the chopping block. And I didn't vote for anyone except Tatiana 'cause I felt that she needed my votes. And I felt good about that.

I noticed I wasn't voting for anyone. Nothing made me feel anything last night. I did wind up voting for Tyler because I was feeling bad and nervous for him. Yeah. Then we have Jenna Dewan and Val Chmerkovskiy. They are back together. They did the Argentine tango to zombie-themed movie.

It was sick.

It was amazing. And it should—

They did address—

Oh yeah, he briefly addressed, I'm sorry for like the chaos and I shouldn't have put you in that position. Beautiful. Um, they did their dance, which was amazing. Jenna's doing amazing. And like, they're— she's similar to Harry Shum, but like, I'm feeling it from her.

Of course.

And I'm rooting for her, and I think she's really impressive. And I think a lot of people forget, like, her, Julia, and Tatiana are all the same age.

Yeah.

Have had similar careers and like I'm like, Jenna is just off the charts amazing.

Yeah, they did also sort of lay down their arms, like Carrie Ann and Val. She gave him like a huge praise for his choreography, and I feel like let's officially—

Move on. No, no, I've already moved on.

Me too. Her dance was insane. I actually felt bad that like there was— I didn't even notice the dress thing. You did. But the 3 other judges did, and like she also deserved a perfect score.

She did. I like that they locked in their scores before the judges deliberated because Derek had no idea. So if you didn't see it, you wouldn't know. Um, because otherwise that was a perfect dance, better than Harry's.

Agreed.

Then we had Connor Wood and Riley Arnold. They danced to the movie Annabelle, You Are My Sunshine, and they did a contemporary. They got his highest scores of the season, including 2 10s for a total of 37 out of 40.

So when I was watching it, I was like, this is a huge improvement. Like, his— he did like a couple of flips in the air, like, and he really looked like a dancer, not like a struggling star. And I was really sup— like, I enjoyed it, but I enjoy a lot of Connors, and they're always like coming for him. So when the judges were saying it was so amazing and gave him 10s, I was like, oh wait, it was? Like, I felt— and this is like kind of goes back to what we were talking to— I'm so glad for him because I feel like they've been really hard on him. And it just must be like so— and I feel like that was Tyler last night— to keep trying at something and like keep being told it's not good enough, like it's very exhausting. And at some point you just don't want to do it anymore. And I think that's what happened with Tyler last night. So for Fabula, who's like maintained his positive attitude the whole time, to finally be rewarded, I felt really happy for him. But when I compared it to other dances, I feel like there wasn't like a lot of dancing.

Like it was more of a skin And that's where it felt like someone doing the Argentine tango being judged on the same basis as this, it feels a little uneven.

Yeah, because like he got the same score—

As Jenna.

In total as Jenna. And what he was doing and what Jenna was doing were not the same. But everything else aside from like all the dancing and the difficulty level of the moves, like the whole skit and the routine, like what Riley choreographed was really amazing. And I think all of that, like if you have 5 buckets you need to fill up, like 4 were completely fill, and if the other one was almost half, that's 37 out of 40.

100%. No, I was so happy that he got a good score. Like, it was— you could see on his face, he had— he literally— like,

I don't think he ever thought he would see a 10 in his life. That would be like Tyler getting a 10. No,

and sometimes, like, when you do the dance, you think you crushed it, and then you go hear the judges and they're like, you stink. Like, I think it's very— it's like, it must be like a really, like, a fucked up thing where it's like, did I do good? I think I did. And then you get told you didn't. And so I'm sure he was just used to being like, I'm sure you and they say nothing bad, like, that must be a thrill.

Yeah. Then Ezra Frech and Daniela Karagache, they danced to The Invisible Man. They did jazz. Um, it was not their best. He is having like an injury right now because he has a blister on his leg, which is like rubbing up against his prosthetic, which is apparently very painful.

Yes. I'm learning so much about the prosthetic community and how that's like a common issue. And he said, normally I just like lay around without my leg for 3 days, But I can't do that. And I felt like in the dance, Carrie-Anne was funny, she was like, you know, you should be so proud, I didn't feel like you looked like you were in pain. And actually when I was watching, I was like, I feel like he's in pain. He was a little bit behind. Listen, everyone's allowed to have an off night.

Oh yeah, for sure, he's still my winner. And you know what, in order to experience the highs, you have to go through the lows. So it was never gonna be completely smooth sailing for him. I just hope that he feels better soon. And of course, they weren't even in danger of going home last night. So he feels free to take the night off.

100%. He should take one whole day off. Let your leg breathe. But yeah, it wasn't my favorite.

No, and it wasn't meant to be, and it wasn't their best. But he's still my number 1.

Oh, back to Jenna and Val. I just wanna like discuss like the neck licking.

Yes.

So there was one part in the dance where they like literally touched mouths, and I was like, oh my God, that's crazy. And then at the end, like he's like a vampire biting her neck. And I saw discourse online that like he might've had like a blood capsule in his mouth that he was trying to pop, so he had to keep biting to get it to pop. Um, I don't care. Like, it's weird.

It was weird.

Yeah.

It was weird. And like, I watched it, I thought it was weird, and no one was telling me about the blood capsule at the time, so I couldn't help how I felt. Now I did see that and I'm like, okay, sure.

And then he ended the dance like behind her, and I feel like he like whispered something sexy in her ear. Like, I'm telling you, I just—

No, I feel like he was still dealing with that capsule, not realizing how it looks to the rest of the world.

It was weird. Yeah. It was weird.

Um, then Savannah Bananas, Jackson Olson, and Emma Slater danced to That's Life by Frank Sinatra, inspired by the Joker.

Um, it's unfortunate that he went home on the week where he did have the most improvement, but it was time for him to go.

Um, he was on borrowed time.

Uh, 1,000%. And I kind of feel— I feel like people are not gonna like this. I feel similar to how I felt last week where like the choreography, like the whole shtick was like so corny and like, like so obvious, like low-hanging fruit. Like what they did to Nat King Cole and like they're matching tuxedos, and then they dance to Frank Sinatra and they're matching tuxedos. It was like very cruise ship.

I liked it, but I don't think it— But it wasn't his best dance. It doesn't meet the bar anymore, and there's a lot of people who are like, we have the leaders and then the people who are just circling the bottom, as Tyler called them, the bottom boys.

The bottom boys. He didn't realize what that means in gay culture, so he just keeps referring to him and Jackson as the bottom boys.

And they were most certainly the bottom boys last night, and they both went home. But there's a lot of people who are like not in contention, and it's just time to start shuffling through them. Like, they've got all the courtesy time that they had last week. They didn't go home. and now it's time to get serious. So if he has to go and Tyler has to go, like, I understand.

The competition does eventually need to move forward.

It's getting fierce, yeah. Then we have Tyler Cameron and Sharna Burgess. They danced a Viennese waltz to Love Song for a Vampire.

Now, I was really shook at Tyler's look. Ben was barely paying attention.

Didn't recognize him.

Me neither. Ben was barely paying attention. And he was like, who's he dressed up as, Johnny Depp? And I was like, no, actually. He looked so different. I never wanna see him in that wig ever again.

The eyes. I didn't recognize his face.

And what's funny is that all these moments are going viral of Tyler, 'cause he got bad scores and he sort of walked away and then he wouldn't hold Charna's hand. You could tell he was so fucking over it. And all of these moments and he's in this wig. Yeah. It's just unfortunate.

It's really silly.

I'm glad he got— Tyler, I love him dearly, but he was not gonna win, so I'm glad he got to make it to dedication night, have this huge moment. And you know what, go take care of Tate. Let the second half of the pregnancy be about Tate. I feel like he's probably relieved to have gone home, 'cause he's in the same boat as Fabula was, being like, you're working so hard so hard every single day just for every time, like, to get bad scores. Like, at some point it's seriously not worth it anymore. It's so, like, dehumanizing.

Far and away the lowest scores. He got 26 out of 40. What did Julia Nezzer get? 26 out of 40.

Yeah, Julia was, like, never going far.

She's one to watch, you guys, in terms of the bottom girls. People just, like, assume she's, like, in the top of the pack, but she's one to watch.

Yeah, I know. She just, like, is getting far. based on like her star quality.

Yeah. And like, there's a couple people that will probably go, or one or two. I think, do you think Tatiana will go before her or after her?

Before, unfortunately.

And then her?

Yeah, like Fabiola was a bottom boy, but he's not anymore. He needs to have another good week to sort of cement himself out of the bottom for now. But yeah.

Okay, then Amber Glenn and Pasha Pashkov, Argentine Tango for Black Swan.

Yeah, the Black Swan was the only movie that made sense. Like everyone else's movies, I was like, how does this relate to you or your family? Like, I totally understood and it was really good.

Yeah, they got 36 out of 40. I mean, they're always good. It always doesn't really do anything for me, but it's nice dancing to watch.

Agreed.

Then Maura Higgins and Mark Ballas. We need to talk about Maura. So she— they danced, um,

Argentine tango.

To Cry Little Sister from The Lost Boys. Like, what? What? I don't even know what I'm reading.

Objection, relevance.

And, um, they got 32 out of 40. So she started off so strong.

And that's like kind of a bad spot to be in.

Like such an untapped talent.

And so random too. People were like, we're not expecting that.

The last, I would say, 3 weeks have been very lackluster. Now this might just be like, you know, their dip on their way back to the top, or it might be a plateau.

Because for now I'm not seeing her as a top 4 finalist.

No, last night was the first night where I was like, I don't think she's gonna be top 4 because the dancing isn't as good as Jenna, Harry, Amber, and then whatever—

Ezra.

Ezra, right, the dancing's not as good. And I don't think she has as many fans who are diehard voting.

Yeah, and I also feel like she started off really strong with her personality coming through also. And I just think a lot, it's an exhausting process. So you have just less to give. You're like, I just wanna rehearse. And so I find that she's shining less both on the dance floor but also as a personality. And yeah, she's no longer a guaranteed top 4 for me.

No, not at all. I would actually just say the people we just said.

Yeah,

'cause I, of course Ezra, of course Jenna, I think Harry too, and then I do think Amber unless she has to go to that skating competition.

Yeah, I read that like, these are theories that like she has to leave at a certain point because like the season starts.

Well, let me just say like last night was definitely like a dip for me as well. Yeah. Like we gotta get rid of, so there's a lot of dancing, not good dancing. We've been watching 6 weeks now, I need better dancing.

Yeah, like your first dance was better than your second.

And so I was sad to see Banana and Tyler go, but I'm glad we cut 2 so that we can cut to the chase.

Let's do one more double elimination. Like, honestly, it's still too many people.

Yeah.

Maura was last. Oh yeah, they didn't like make a big deal of the fact that like Mark was being judged by his mom.

No, they didn't.

Um, I kind of wish that they did, um, but they had— they really had to maintain the integrity of the whole process. But I love Shirley. Like, seriously, I said this last week with Kim Herjavec, but Shirley Ballas, if I had to choose. like Shirley Ballas should be.

Who would you replace?

No, a 4th. Um, okay, sure. I— you need to have like a nice one, a mean one, and a middle one. And so Shirley is technically the mean one, Bruno's the nice one. So Derek— they say that Derek was supposed to be brought in to like be that sort of Simon Cowell figure, and I don't find that he's like that at all.

And I don't think he wants to be—

That guy.

Unliked.

So him and Carrie Ann, they're always like repeating each other, so they are duplicative. If you need 3, like, you have to get rid of one of them. And I, I actually don't I don't

care. What if we got rid of Bruno? He's just doing a lot.

I know he is.

And I don't know the value that it adds. I know it's not nice to say that because like he's Bruno.

Well, I think people like the contestants, like it's hard to just like hear from 3 people like so harsh. Like he is the sort of soft landing style. But they're not so harsh.

She really wasn't so harsh. She said nice things about people too. Yeah. She just like scored critically, but like she didn't say mean things.

Yeah, I think Carrie Ann, like say what you want about her, she does always give good feedback in terms of like what you could be doing better.

I feel like Derek is so vague sometimes. I think Carrie Ann is such a Paula Abdul. Like, she says it in a nice way. You guys think she's being mean? You don't even know mean. No, and she— That's why you were shocked to meet Shirley last night.

And she has like the resume to back it up. Like, she knows what she's talking about. No, Carrie Ann is safe to me. Derek is like this new next gen, so they sort of like have to keep him.

I like Derek, and last night he said something just like so Derek.

What'd he say?

I forget. He just was like being such a showman, and I'm like, I'm like, it could only be Derek.

Did you see Coach Jackie? Did I tell you about Coach Jackie?

No.

I used to talk about her during Love Island. She does those, um, recaps. She would be like, here's my honest, unedited thoughts on today's episode of Love Island. She opens up her notebook and reads her, um, takes. They're always like really funny and like very similar to like what we think, and she just says it out loud. And so she's been doing that with Dancing with the Stars. Like, she comes so hard for Derek. Derek, of course, was up in her comments like he likes to be, like always starting stuff, and she literally— she took the like so hard that to the point that they invited her to Dancing with the Stars. Her and Derek dressed up and did a skit as Sue Sylvester and Will Schuster. Um, 'cause she's like, her whole shtick is not actually reality TV. She's like a female sports, women's sports commentator. Um, and they invited her and she's like always coming. You know how when like Alfonso's talking and Derek's like leans out? She hates that. So did you see last night? He leaned out and she got up and pushed him. Like it was a skit. Like it was really funny.

Um, she coached him. 2 for sure.

She was Coach 2. He was Mr.—

He's so Mr. Schuster.

1,000%. He wore the curly wig. It was— I'll send it to you. It was hilarious.

That's really funny. Yeah. Yeah, put me down as— oh my God, I sound like Adam Birdie. Put me down as liking Derek Hough.

And put me down as thinking it's a genocide. Such a weird way to say it.

You guys, we haven't really spoken about this.

We talked about it on Patreon.

A little bit, but like— oh yeah, because I put him as a headbands.

Yes, that's where we talked about it. Oh yeah, we it because the new season of—

but it's sort of like really like breaking up the community, don't you think?

I know, I feel so torn because nobody wants this. Obviously season 3 just came out, and while they were doing press, like, Adam Brody had some really unsavory things to say about Israel. And it's like, you're on a show that literally is like the only safe place like for Jews, and it's just like, it's this beloved show, and it's like, people like, it's so accurate, it's just like sweet, and it's like such a harmless show, it's like supposed to be fun.

And the whole thing is they don't talk about Israel, they don't talk about anything like geopolitical, it's just about Judaism. In America.

It was created by Aaron Foster, and she's like, this is very much a love letter to Judaism. I converted for my husband, and like, I love being Jewish. Like, it all comes from such a great place, and it was just so disappointing that like a lot of people are like not wanting to watch the show now, which I totally understand. But it's like, then we're punishing Aaron Foster and like this great show. But it's like, why the fuck would we want to watch Adam Brody? Like, it, it's definitely dividing the community. I feel divided. I really do. I don't— I literally don't know like who to boycott, you know? Yeah, I'm not a boycotter either. Yeah. Yeah, so it's just been— it's been annoying. Like, honestly, it's been actually just a great inconvenience.

Yeah, very interesting. So that's your Dancing with the Stars recap. Like, hoping for better, better times next week. Cynthia Erivo will be guest judging. I don't know how that's gonna go, like, because she is

so serious,

running out of goodwill.

She is a bald woman running out of goodwill, and

I don't know, but like, will she— she does come from Broadway and if that's like, I think she might bring like that sort of expertise. I like expertise.

Yeah, she doesn't know shit about fuck when it comes to dance.

I guess I also liked Joe Buck and he was not an expert.

I haven't not liked a single guest judge. It's true. So sure, bring it on, Cyn. Maybe this is like one thing to get our Q score back up.

Yeah, it's true. I do like him. Okay. Yeah. Are you ready for our next story? Mm-hmm. It's only number 2. We actually have really good stories today. Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce's extravagant wedding decor was burned immediately after the ceremony. So Taylor and Travis's lavish wedding, which one expert estimated cost $3 million—

No way!

Their wedding—

$30 million!

Oh, sorry, $30 million. Sorry, it said $30 million. I'm like, oh, what do you mean not $30 million?

No, $30 million.

Yeah, $30 million reportedly ended there with their custom-made decor being burned. A source told the Daily Mail on Tuesday that her team instructed crew members to, quote, dispose of the extravagant decorations to ensure there weren't any traces left behind. mind. They didn't want people to steal it and then auction it or sell it, so they just burned it all. The custom-built furnishings, which included monogrammed items featuring, you know, their wedding logo of 2 interlocking T's, garden-like structures, were reportedly transported from New York to Pennsylvania where they were originally built to be burned. Quote, they had told us it was going to be incinerated, but I don't know where they actually physically incinerated it. The source said the sets were transported in 11 semi- trucks that were reportedly super packed went to Pennsylvania to be destroyed. The fact that no one has relics of it and it all had to get burned and properly disposed of is kind of crazy, the insider said.

It is.

11 semi-trucks to transport cross-country and then just burn it all down was pretty wild, just because you don't want people to have access to it.

I love that.

Swift herself allegedly did not make the request, though she had a hand in planning and designing the ceremony because she didn't want to just be handed a wedding, says the source.

Um, even if this was her decision, And like, I love it.

Really?

Give them nothing. Yeah. The more I think about the wedding, we're obviously never gonna see a lick of it. And like, I'm actually so okay with that. Um, people can't be normal and yeah, burn it, burn it. I love this. Now also people would've been like, the situation's going to a landfill. All right, well now it's not. Like, I, I love it.

Well then, you know, the—

The emissions from the trucks. I know you can't win.

Yeah. I don't know what the right thing to do here would be because you don't want people selling, you don't want your wedding being sold over eBay, like, in private moments of your life.

What do you do with all that? Think about like flower walls or, uh, whatever.

Flower walls are gonna die.

Sure. No, no, let me think. I'm trying to think like couches.

Yeah, like look at this piece of equipment, like this TNT.

The bar. That looks like the bar.

So the bar that has a TNT on it, I think we're okay to burn.

Yeah, it sounds like everything that was burned was personalized.

Yeah, but like other things, you know, You know, not that they wanna spend their time reselling stuff, but like a bride in need would love a couch for her wedding.

Burn it. Like, I love it. Like, I, I seriously respect the hell outta this.

That's so crazy.

I,

I would be shocked. Like, are, is she getting a lot of hate for this? Are you seeing anything? I'll be shocked if she doesn't.

People have a lot to say about it. It's shocking. But I guess I never really thought about like what happens to the custom furnishings at a celebrity wedding. I've never seen them on eBay, but I guess maybe people don't care about like Billie Eilish's wedding enough to sell the furniture. Um, I would argue they probably don't. But yeah, Taylor's special. Taylor's different. Taylor has to do things that other people don't have to do. She could keep it all like in storage.

I think some people would probably keep some of it in a warehouse.

Yeah, very sweeper of her to burn it. Maybe that's why I like it. This is like a sweeper's dream.

It's just so final, you know? I think I would like— what I would do is I would keep it in a warehouse.

It's so not romantic.

And then I would burn it.

Is that romantic?

Like, no. And it's, it's very like, it's so drama. Hunger Games.

Yes, yes.

And I'm not even like, like that.

Yeah, it's like, what is the cost of all of this? 11 trucks of personal customized furnishings for your wedding. That has to be about a million dollars. So you might as well— you literally just took a million dollars and burned it.

More than a million dollars because it was 1,000 people.

Yeah, well, I bet the chairs were rented. Like, not everything. Yeah, some things were rented.

Tables. No, no, it's not the whole wedding being rented.

Probably like the cocktail napkins. or like the linen napkins were all custom, burn it.

She could use those for her family home. I

am sure they took 10 napkins, 10 plates.

But of the things, you know, like the bar, they're not putting a bar somewhere. Yeah, so you would burn that, I guess. Yeah. But when you think about the whole wedding being burned, that sounds extreme. When you think about just like a couple things that nobody wants.

But no, at the end of the day, it's like so wasteful. Period. It's so wasteful. Mhm.

Crazy.

Did I say stand there and look stupid? No, I said burn it. Literally Taylor Swift.

Are you ready for our 3rd story? The Kardashian-Jenner sisters cozy up to Santa in a Skims retro holiday campaign.

Yes, Skims holidays here. Skims has been awfully quiet.

Skims holiday shop is here, and Kim got all the sisters. She rounded up all of her sisters for a new Skims holiday campaign a mid-century Christmas-themed affair with a few choice cameos from Santy Claus. For the shoot, the sisters posed in festive wares from the brand's holiday shop in a home decked out with tinsel trees, wrapped presents, and a cozy fire.

You think Kim pays the girls for this?

No.

I think that she pays them something. Not what they would get if, you know, Kendall was doing a Victoria's Secret campaign, but like, you know, a day rate or whatever. Like, you sort of have to cover per diem, as they say in the industry. But it actually, like, what are the politics of—

I don't know because I could really argue both sides. Like, because once you start paying people, there's not even a right amount. And if she's coming in—

You know, a lot of times when the girls work together, it's like a collab. So it's like Poosh x Kylie Cosmetics.

Yes, no, no, no. So everyone wins. That's different. But here it's like, what are you gonna pay Kendall her actual modeling rate plus now I'm the face of your holiday shop? Like, no. Are you gonna pay Kendall more than you pay Kourtney? No.

conflict with Intimissimi.

Uh, this is lingerie.

Yeah, it's like the same category. Skims is like technically—

But you could call this pajama.

Yeah, you could call Intimissimi pajamas too.

Yeah, but I think it's more so lingerie.

I just, I bet that like she had a carve-out in her contract that like she's gonna post Skims. Like honestly.

Yeah, or she won't post it. I'm sure it's fine, but I don't think— I think it is cleaner if nobody gets paid and she pays all their expenses, glam, everything. But how can you even start to pay them? And also, like, if I had a business and thinking of like my family, like, and, and I'm thinking of the campaign.

If I want you for something, you need me for something.

Yeah, I would not pay. I would ask you to be in my campaign and you would say yes because you're my sister.

Yeah, but also like they all have their own businesses too. So if, you know, Kourtney wants Kylie for Lemme, the precedent is now set. We're not paying like—

Yes, but also when it's all sisters, it's like different. It's like you don't want to miss out on all sisters.

Yeah, I thought it was a great great concept. Yeah, Skims like has stopped doing those sort of like buzzy photo shoots for like— what were they doing them like quarterly, right? Were they tapping big celebrities, up-and-coming it girls? Um, they like don't really do that anymore, and I kind of miss that. This is a great low-budget option where you can just have your family do it. The girls famously have a hard time getting together.

They have a hard time getting their family. I hope they went on the set and took a Christmas photo. I actually think this would be a good storyline for Kardashian Yes. And especially if they wanna talk about the payment, cuz I think they like, that's something they would talk about here.

And I'm just like, I'm genuinely so curious.

Yeah, I'm curious too. And it is hard to get them all together. Were they even all together? Is there one picture of all of them?

I know.

Like, no.

Yeah. And even the ones where a couple of them are together, like you could be photoshopped. Be photoshopped.

Also, someone tweeted something really funny. Mm-hmm. They said Iran before the revolution.

Yeah. The aesthetic of it is giving Tehran in the '70s. Like, you know, she's always, they're calling it like, you always see those. It's actually amazing to see. They show them on Shahs of Sunset a lot, like Yeah. What Iran looked like.

Iran before the revolution. And it's like girls going to college and like mini skirts.

It was this beacon of like gender equality, education. It was like Mad Men. Yeah, like it's very glamorous.

It was also the '70s.

Very glamorous place. And the pictures are really quite interesting when you see them. And so the aesthetic of it, it's a very sepia-toned, groovy, as they're calling it in this campaign, mid-century.

But as the internet's calling it, Iran before the revolution.

Yeah, that's kind of what it looks like. Seriously funny.

Even like the way they're like smiling, like, like, or not smiling.

My grandma. My grandma in Tehran before the revolution.

My grandma was a babe.

Yeah. Seriously funny.

My grandma.

But I just wanna say the photo shoot is amazing.

It's adorable. It's adorable. It really is. But

that's— love to see the girls together.

Really funny.

They talk about that all the time on Kardashians, like how they literally cannot all get together, like even for a meal. And I find it so unrelatable and so frustrating. And unacceptable. Yeah, I agree. And it's like your whole thing is family, family, family, fam, family, fam. And it's like you all live in the same gated community and you can't have dinner. And when you do, all you do is sit around and talk about what a big deal it is because you never get dinner together.

No. And then they all also say that they always are like home for dinner with their kids, but like, why can't you do that together?

They need like a communal cafeteria.

They really do. No, but why can't you put a date on the calendar for like a month from now or 2 months from now? Like find a day that works and get together.

They kind of need to convert because I think that they could all really like benefit from Shabbat.

Yeah.

Scott could lead the prayers.

I find it unacceptable.

I— they bring it up every episode for the past 10 years.

And I swear if there wasn't a show— and they do it for the show because that's a work day, because then they would never see each other. They would never see each other.

Yeah, that's definitely a huge benefit of the show is like forced time together. Of course the money as well is a huge benefit.

Yeah, but like some of them are just not prioritizing it.

Yeah.

Their family. Are you ready for our next story?

If it's our next story that's brought to you by DoorDash. Mm-hmm. You know, we talk a lot about being connected, but real connection is actually kind of hard. Everyone is everywhere. It's so hard for, you know, us all to get together physically, mentally, emotionally. So we use DoorDash to close that gap. You know, if a friend is spiraling over a situationship at midnight, you're across the country, so you DoorDash 'em their favorite snack and a pint of ice cream before they even have to ask. DoorDashing has become a love language of sorts. of sorts. Perhaps your friend is in finals week and you haven't left their— they haven't left their desk in 6 hours. So you'll DoorDash her something to eat to keep her going. It's actually such a thoughtful way. Of course, like a sick friend in need, someone who's going through something, a lot of times a group chat will say, we should hang soon, and you'll be saying that for 3 weeks. So you drop a group order link and suddenly everyone's actually coming over. Nothing brings people together like food, and nobody procures food better in a— procures food in a better, more efficient way than DoorDash.

Because being, you know, young women is hard. Uh, financial stress, burnout, figuring everything out all at once. Anything that takes one off your plate is a win, and DoorDash is that win. We love using DoorDash. Use it literally all the time. DoorDash makes showing up for the people you love easy. Needed that? Delivered. DoorDash. Order now. That's a slay of a slogan. Needed that? Delivered. DoorDash. Order now. Today's episode is also brought to you by Quince, one of our OG sponsors we love. If you're looking for clothing that's made really well and not super expensive, look no further than Quince. They make elevated essentials that you will find yourself reaching for over and over again. Jeans that fit just right, a bag you can take everywhere, a sweater that works with everything that doesn't deteriorate in the wash. They're pieces that'll earn a permanent place in your closet without breaking the bank. So I think as we get older, a lot of us are like looking for less disposable clothing, more quality than quantity. And of course, when you're looking for quality cashmere, wool, organic cotton, the price does go up unfortunately. And Quince is a great option.

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The Tony Bucks too. If you have a child and you don't have a Tony, I'm about to change your life. And if you have a child and you do have a Tony, you know how important what I'm about to say is. So we got a Tony, obviously it was a hand-me-down Tony, Now we have new ones, but I got a hand-me-down from Jax, like when Ruby was like, like seriously 6 months old. He's been obsessed with it ever since. So it's an audio box, so it's designed for their hands, powered by their choices, and built to help them grow. It's an audio player designed for kids, loved by kids and their families for ages 1 to 12 and up. TonieBox 2 boosts independence and confidence as they learn, play, and grow. It's robust and ready for almost anything. It's built to withstand years of bumps and tumbles. It's true. The one you gave me is like one of the originals. It must be what, 4 years old? Mm-hmm. Works like a charm. Let me tell you, the battery never dies. I love it. We have one in the car, one in the house. Like we are always doing Tonys.

There's so many Tonys and Tony Play game options to choose from. It'll keep your kids engaged and entertained till breakfast and bedtime. If you are, um, a screen-free family, this is a great option. Um, the new sleep timer with the light and the sunrise alarm helps family build health, helps families build healthy sleep habits, making bedtime easier and better. The Tonys app, you can control everything through there. It's really simple. They also have Bluetooth headphone connectivity. Kids can enjoy stories and music, totally wire-free and screen-free. So check out Tonies, um, on their website. Go to, uh, tonies.com. You can learn all about it, buy the Toniebox, get the little players. They sell them everywhere too. I just— you need to go to Tonie, tonies.com, to learn all about the Toniebox too.

Thank you, Turdybox.

You're welcome.

Monopoly at McDonald's is back! You can't win if you don't play. Get your bag.

Our next story, Lamar Odom has joined OnlyFans, becoming the first NBA star on the platform.

Oh, that's a real bummer.

The former basketball player has become, uh, the first basketball player to join the platform, according to TMZ, which first reported the news. news. Quote, I've lived a lot of my life in the public eye, but trust me, there's still a side of Lamar Odom you haven't seen.

Your penis. Like,

joining OnlyFans gives me a chance to connect with my fans on a whole different level without all the filters. He said fans can expect a little bit of everything, some surprises, and maybe a few things you wouldn't expect from me. I'm not giving away too much yet. You'll have to subscribe to find out. Just know I'm keeping it real and nothing's off the table.

Not even my dick. Now, having an OnlyFans doesn't necessarily mean like you're getting naked. Yeah, I think it's a safe assumption.

Otherwise you would probably go to Patreon or Substack.

Or like literally anywhere else.

Like Patreon or Substack, that's like where— because OnlyFans is really just like exclusive, uh, subscription content, right? People choose to get nude because that's become the brand brand of—

Right, whereas like people choose to do subscription content for podcasts, they choose to do that on Patreon. People choose to do subscription podcasts for blogging, they choose to do it on Substack.

So you could get naked on Patreon? Yeah, you could get naked.

I don't know, they might have like a policy about nudity, but you could do— I know a lot of people like who do Patreon like for their writing, even though you tend to do Substack for writing.

Yes, but I'm just saying like it doesn't mean— Each platform attracts a different type of— You don't have to be naked to get on OnlyFans. You're just trying to give subscriber bonus content.

There was also a big push by OnlyFans a few years to try and get subscription content on their platform that wasn't nude. They reached out to us, they really wanted us to move our Patreon over there, but honestly the stigma was too much.

Yeah, and I feel like they've given up on that. So if he's joining OnlyFans instead of Patreon, instead of Substack, it's safe to assume it's gonna be titillating.

Yeah, and this just really bums me out. I always go back and forth, I ping pong between like how I feel about Lamar because I'm like, Lammy, Lammy.

I'm currently not liking him.

Yeah, after watching the documentary and like seeing what he had to say about Khloé and then hearing that Khloé's experience after participating in the documentary was like so negative and she like was really hurt by the things that he said. Like, I'm actually so over him. Like, he pisses me off, but he is always Lammy. And this is just sad because obviously like you do this for the money. That's where we're at.

Yeah.

And this is a person who had like enormous success in their life, um, like one of the best players for the best teams at the height of their franchise. And it's like to know that he probably is broke and literally has to show his penis on the internet for money, like that's sad.

And what kind of person subscribes to Lamar Odom?

A curious one. Like,

you know, and do men have as much success on OnlyFans as women? No. Because there's not as many women who are like OnlyFans patrons.

I think it's safe to say like porn is more of a male-dominated consumer in general. Um, that's not to say that women don't and can't, of course they can. Um, but I would, I would argue if I had to bet, I bet I could look it up, like what's the gender,

what's the percentage of like women who are consumers of porn and men. I would—

I think I'm asking Chad something, and then I want to tell you something I heard about Chad today.

Oh my God, my best friend.

What is the breakdown of men versus women who purchase OnlyFans content?

Yeah,

no, it was like the story of this woman who died from like taking medical advice from Chad. I was watching a thing on the Free Press all about it, and it was like obviously so sad. Hold on. 80% men, 15% women, other undisclosed

Okay, so yeah, that's what we said.

Yeah. Um, she died because she has epilepsy, and she was like working with Chat on dosing down her meds, eventually to the point of like nothing. Um, and her family's now suing OpenAI because like Chat was like very encouraging of her, being like, stick with it, like you got it. She's like, I'm not feeling well, what should I do? And so I was reading the comments because my first thought was like, oh my God, that's so sad, because I do use Chat for medical stuff all the time. Always really low-bar medical stuff, like what is this bug bite, or is this mole normal? Like never like high-level medication, like And that's why I think chat is good, 'cause if I have a tiny rash, to get a doctor's appointment, it's like a weeks-long thing where it's like, it's probably nothing. But no, if I'm taking serious medication for a diagnosed illness, and I was wondering, I was like, this is awful and I feel so bad for her, especially for her family, but who thought this was a good idea? And I was relieved to see people in the comments being like, this is so sad, but where's the personal accountability?

Of course, a life-saving medication and you're gonna tinker your dose with chat? No.

To the point of being on None,

right?

Not even just like 40 milligrams to 35.

Also, in my experience, whenever I'm talking about like medical stuff with ChatGPT, they always say consult with the doctor.

I know, to the point where it's annoying. But I was reading there and ChatGPT like never said that to her. It's very personal. So ChatGPT might know that you're like a worrywart and they would recommend you go to the doctor, and then they'll tailor those recommendations to you. Maybe this person knew ChatGPT and like knew that they were like very anti-doctor or whatever, you know.

I—

it was a really sad story.

That is really sad, but I agree there needs to be personal accountability. Chat didn't just ping her one day and say go off your medication,

right?

Are you ready for our 5th and final story? Something that's just going to change everything.

And not Lamar being on OnlyFans? That changes nothing.

Changes nothing.

Agreed.

Next. Um, and I feel like something that we've really come full circle on, because I feel like when we started talking about this, it was like when we were early days of Toast, like in the pink studio.

In the pink studio?

So no, no, you'll never guess. You'll never guess. But a new study has— and this I guess would be like environment news. A new study has come out that paper straws are worse for the environment than plastic ones.

And I could have fucking told you that.

You guys, a damning study out of South Korea has revealed that paper straws— And

shout out to South Korea because this is a study that would have been—

This is an unpopular opinion. Nobody wants to hear this.

It would have been buried in the States.

Yep. So here's everything you need to know, and you need to know the details so the next time someone offers you a paper straw, you can shove it up their ass. A damning study out of South Korea has revealed that paper straws might actually be worse for the planet.

Have you seen Ben's new t-shirt? No, he bought it on like TikTok Shop. It's like an animated turtle and it says like, maybe the turtle needed the straw, and it's the turtle doing blow with the straw. It's insane. He comes in, he's like, I got a new t-shirt, I'll show you, it's fucking crazy.

Oh my God. Might be worse for the planet than plastic ones, especially when their life cycle is traced from the factory floor to the landfill. The findings suck the air out of some of the long-winded environmental protests which claim for Decade that plastic straws were on par with toxic fumes or forest fires and fought to make iced lattes nearly impossible to drink through a soggy, wilted tube of cardboard.

Tube, literally an old-school tampon applicator.

The research comes from South Korea's Ministry of Climate, Energy, and Environment, which analyzed 4 types of straws: paper, plastic, biodegradable plastic, and sugarcane-based across 16 environmental categories.

That's the crazy thing about the straw thing is that Okay, fine. Maybe let's say we found out plastic was bad. There were so many options. Have you ever had a pla— uh, like a plastic straw made of corn? It was so durable. It was so fucking hard.

I've had like the corn syrup ones.

Yeah. Insane. There were so many options. Like why we were relegated, probably 'cause it was the cheapest, to paper is insane.

Just wait. Turns out plastic beats them all. Traditional paper straws showed the lowest environmental footprint in 10 of the 16 categories. Oh, sorry. Traditional plastic straws, sorry, showed the lowest environmental footprint in 10 of the 16 categories, including human toxicity. particle matter, and overall climate change impact. Meanwhile, paper straws were found to generate over 6 times more carcinogens than plastic, along with double the impact on environmental acidification.

Well, first of all, you— for every 1 plastic straw, you need about 30 paper straws. So just like in its volume.

As for bio-PE straws, the kind made from renewable sources like sugarcane, they produce 16 times the carcinogenic impact of standard plastic straws. Plastic wins again, along with 6 times the acidification damage.

Let me tell you why this paper straw—

But aren't paper straws better because they can be recycled? Mm-hmm. No. The study found that because paper straws are so small, they routinely slip through sorting equipment at recycling facilities, meaning almost none actually get recycled. Furthermore, their water-resistant coatings and industrial glues prevent them from breaking down easily, demanding more energy during processing and leaving open the possibility that microplastics could end up in the recycled pulp anyway. Anyway, confronted with the findings, a South Korean lawmaker criticized domestic environmental groups and his own government for prioritizing feel-good narratives over hard science. The government must acknowledge the failure of its greenwashing policy, which fixated on ineffective substitute materials. That's my king right there. Scientist of the week.

Literally. We need another frame.

And of course, the public agrees. 87.5% of South Korean citizens dislike paper straws.

I think that number probably is similar in America. Yeah. Now, where's the accountability here? You know who started this, of course.

Adrian Grenier.

That motherfucker Adrian Grenier. Do we get an— like, where does he come into this? Like, he took credit for it at the time. He's been real quiet since South Korea dropped this case. Where do we sort of find— who do we— like, where's the blame?

Yeah, there's probably a lot of people to blame. Like, he got all the credit at the time, so you will also bear all the responsibility to Adrian Grenier.

Honestly, Starbucks, it was huge when Starbucks switched, even though they never switched.

I will be waiting for a statement.

Yeah.

From Adrian.

I think also it was such an annoying thing to request of people, 'cause people really do use straws a lot. You know, there is an argument to be made that it's actually quite ableist to get rid of straws. Um, but like, straws are just like a very small daily thing that people use, and we have to give it up and like inconvenience ourselves so much when like literally the damage done on like one celebrity's private plane is equal to like my lifetime of straws. It's like, are you fucking serious? So it was so unreasonable to ask and it was so trendy and so popular. Literally, it's so funny. I made my McDonald's TikTok yesterday and people were like, oh my God, you're so lucky. Like you have a plastic straw. I didn't even think about it. And it must be regional. It must be based on like state law because I guess Florida, they don't give a fuck. But I think in New York and New Jersey, you do get a paper straw when you order McDonald's. And it's like, it got to that level. It's at state legislative level. Yeah. That's insane.

I don't know how we turn it back, but it's time to turn it back. And I just remember when this came out and people were doing plastic straws and everyone started like, you know, trying to be safe and get a reusable straw. And I just, I never gave in. I never gave in.

I have the biggest box of plastic straws in my house.

And I'm so proud of myself. Me too. You know, for trusting my gut.

No. And look, we get hate all the time.

All the time.

For plastic consumption, especially straws. And I never ever, and I'm very easily caught up in like trends and like—

Never gave in.

I never gave into this bullshittery, and it does feel like I am better than others. And

I'm gonna need everyone to walk it the fuck back. And if you try and give me a paper straw, I'll be printing out this study. It's

honestly like you giving me a gun.

And handing it to you.

And I will personally be knocking on Adrian Grenier's door. Like, I demand accountability from the person who started this whole thing.

I don't want to see Adrian Grenier on a red carpet doing an in— no, no, no, not ever again. Oh yeah, no, me neither. Doing an interview, doing a podcast, without someone asking him for comment on this. He should not feel comfortable.

I just want—

he should not feel comfortable talking publicly. He needs to address it.

Do you believe Adrian Grenier came from a good place when he started?

I don't think so. That's really kind of you to say.

I do. But at some point, like, the road to hell is paved with good intentions.

I don't think it came from a good place.

There's like $8 worth of Jarlsberg in there.

I think it came from a place of like superiority. You know,

even though he really does like walk the walk. He like lives on a like compostable farm with his like 8 kids. Like he really, um—

Does he?

Yeah, he lives like on this huge piece of land outside of Austin. It's all, you know, non-waste. They use their bathwater to make coffee.

He has 8 kids?

No, he's got like 3, but you know what I mean. And he's like very, very crunchy.

Well, he crunched in the wrong direction.

He crunched at the wrong people because Because— and I just love what they're doing over in South Korea. Like I said, I love what they're doing over in South Korea, like innovating in beauty and, and doing important scientific work such as this. So thank you to this person, um, and thank you to—

thank you for never giving up, you know.

I never—

because you would have just assumed, yeah, paper's better, it disintegrates.

Sure, sure.

And it's not. It's— and it's killing you.

Yeah, it's killing those turtles you claim to care about too.

They didn't say anything. I think the plastic straws are probably bad for the turtles.

I think like literally one time, and that one picture went viral of like this big-ass plastic straw penetrating the nose of a turtle. And I just want to say survival of the fittest. I don't think it was like a chronic issue where like turtles were washing up on shore with straws punctured through their noses.

Maybe the turtle needed this.

And maybe the turtle needed the straw. I'll post a link to that t-shirt you guys. Get one for the man in your life.

I'm cracking. Well, that's our show.

That was a good one. Mhm. Thank you guys so much for listening to The Toast, the Millennium Morning Show, the Golden Globe nominated nominated show where we listen— no, where we deliver the fast life stories that you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube. So if you're watching us on YouTube, please feel free to subscribe and give this video a thumbs up. We're also available as podcast anywhere podcasts can be found. Spotify, TuneStitch, public radio, iHeartRadio, Castbox, all the places wherever you listen to podcasts. Find us, The Toast. Leave a 5-star review, shit, about how beautiful, stunning, and wickedly talented we are. Hope you guys have an amazing day. I almost See you tomorrow.

Love ya.

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