Transcript of Keep My Wife's Name Out Your Mouth: Friday, October 16th, 2026

Good morning, girlies, it's The Toast. It's Jax and Claude and we're your hosts. It's your favorite show, the fast 5 things you need to know. We'll start your day off swirly, it's The Toast. I sound amazing.

Welcome back to The Toast and happy Friday! Friday. Yeah, that's right, it's Friday. Don't forget to hump someone you love 'cause it's Friday.

In celebration.

And actually everyone should be humping on Fridays. We have nothing to be celebrating on Wednesdays. Like, hump days are Fridays from here on out.

Yeah, but maybe that's like what helps you get through is the hump.

But like a celebratory hump is always good.

Yes, feel free.

All right, come on over.

Never.

Happy Friday. It's just, it was a short week since of course we respected the hell out of the Indigenous and Columbus on Monday, but still, Don't let that dull your shine.

It's not a hard-fought Friday.

It's been a long day's night, and I've been working like a dog.

I've been working like a dog. Guess who showed up at my house last night?

Was it a little rat?

Miss Margot.

Was it the rat's mother?

It was.

Did she bring the rat?

No, she did not. She knew

the rat was not welcome.

She asked me and like nobody responded.

Yeah, she was like, I'm assuming I can't bring Magnolia, and then nobody responded.

And she knew better than to bring Magnolia. And she was like, wait, so I can never bring— I was like, we have a lot of rugs, we have like carpets. She's like, so I can never bring her? I'm like,

just say yeah, like, because then she can only— like, she can't be disappointed.

But then she'll never come back. So I know, I was like, maybe like eventually, you know.

There's no shortage of people in Margo's life who like want to take Magnolia for the weekend. She doesn't have a hard time finding childcare. She's fine.

Yeah.

And it makes Margo's trip more enjoyable, you know?

Yeah, no, it was great. Very exciting to have We're

not just like Magnolia haters, obviously like we are, but like she's a really bad dog.

Yeah.

She barks all day long when babies are trying to nap. Like, it's really— she's not a good houseguest.

Margot can't leave the house without her or else she will cry the entire time, scratching the walls, scratching the doors.

We're not just making this stuff up. Like, she is problematic in addition to us just like genuinely disliking her.

Yeah, but also I'm glad for Bruno because now he gets like extra love because Margot's obviously Like

a dog ant tape.

Gaping hole in her heart.

That can only be filled

by

a swirly brown King Charles.

Brutal.

Um, it's Friday. We actually have a great show, you know. I don't know why anyone would be surprised by that, especially not the Golden Globes. Um, oh, I did a double feature last night.

What'd you do?

So shout out to MTV for playing back-to-back Bring It On and then Mean Girls. Like, First of all, I thought—

You got to watch commercials?

I did, but you know what, like, it's a good time to get a snack. Like, I wasn't—

They're also like on streamers, but—

But these are movies I've seen before. Like, I'm not gripped by them. Like, I had to get up, you know, take Romeo out, like whatever. It was so amazing. First of all, Bring It On is like so nostalgic. Like, these are 2 movies that genuinely raised us. And Bring It On, when you watch it through like an adult lens, like, it's lowkey like kind of a weird movie. Like, there are some weird things about it. First of all, like, why did they cast that guy as the love interest? The brother of Missy? I think it was meant to be. Alt.

Alt, and, you know, a dichotomy.

Of course, of course.

For Torrance, not the obvious choice.

Of course, but like, why couldn't they have cast like someone handsome? I don't know why, like, in my mind he was always played by Penn Badgley.

It's the Penn Badgley energy.

But Penn Badgley's hot.

They're the same degree of handsome.

No, no, no, no, I'm telling you, you're misremembering. Like, I was just, I remember watching, being like, that's who Torrance ends up with? Like, it was just like icky.

And that was why it was just shocking for Torrance.

And it was still a movie, like, he should be handsome. Like, I was just like, I don't know, this is not adding up for me. Also, there was like a couple of the, you know, like racial things that like would never fly today because it is technically like a Black versus white team thing. Such a good movie. Race war. No, it's literally a race war in Rancho Carne, wherever that is, like San Diego. Um, but it's such a brilliant movie and it's crazy how it's literally the start of so many careers, like Gabrielle Union, Kirsten Dunst. They look both look exactly the same. So I was loving it and then I was like, oh, what a fun trip down memory lane. Then they played Mean Girls. Now When I was in high school, like nobody could watch Mean Girls around me cuz I like knew the whole movie. Mm-hmm. And I was wondering, I was like, I wonder if the dialogue has like stuck to my memory. Jackie, I knew every word and I didn't even realize like at such a core level how everything I say on this planet is rooted in Mean Girls.

Like obviously, like, you know, fall for you, Glen Coco. But like, uh,

you know, every intonation even.

Jackie, that movie is 50% of my personality.

There are literally, I would say 60 quotes that are in our—

Jackie, more, more. Like it's the whole movie. It's insane. And like, honestly, I haven't seen it in so long. It withstands the test of time. It is the best movie ever made. And one of my takeaways was like, I think I need to read Tina Fey's book because I don't think of her as like one of my queens.

But she is. You love 30 Rock.

And Mean Girls. Like, that's literally my personality.

You love Four Seasons.

I'm telling you, I think I might be like a Tina Fey stan.

It's like she's like a Mindy Kaling for you, you just don't even know.

Exactly. And when I was watching it, 'cause she's in it, obviously she's like the worst character.

Even more so than Lena Dunham, I would say.

Tina Fey is a Lena Dunham of her generation, bigger and better and more accomplished. But like, the way she speaks to women our age, Jackie, like, I couldn't get over it. And she's in the movie as the worst, most annoying character, Ms. Norbury, um, which is funny because like Ms. Norbury wrote the movie and you forget that. It's just— it is— I highly encourage you guys to go watch Mean Girls. It must— might have been like 10 years since I last saw it, and it's just as good. They haven't made a movie that good since, honestly. They have not made a movie with that much of a cultural impact.

Yeah, and it was cultural shift?

Everything. Like, it's so good. And first of all, that also is like the, you know, the launch of Rachel McAdams, Amanda Seyfried— like, so many careers. Um, Lizzy Caplan, Janice—

She wound up being the biggest star of them all.

Well, not really,

but like, she's the most— I mean, Rachel McAdams works a lot, and so does Amanda Seyfried. Like, Lizzy Caplan gets insane roles now.

No, and she's just like a really consistent working actor 'Cause we think of like the big 4, the plastics, but yeah, she's like low-key in there also.

It's crazy that like Erin Samuels didn't—

No, you know what's crazy? Lacey Chabert. Like, she's the queen of Hallmark and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that, but like the other 2—

She did a great job.

The other 2 are like literally Oscar-nominated actresses, Regina and Karen. It's so good. Looks like he's headed for the projection room above the auditorium. Like, I was cracking up. And I think maybe we watched it so young, and we watched it literally our entire adult lives, I mean young adult lives, I think maybe even some of it like never really, like I understood all of it. It's the best movie I've ever seen. I fell asleep before it was over, but I was having the time of my life.

No, it is the best movie, period.

Period. And for so long—

And it's not basic to say that.

No, for so long when people would ask me what my favorite movie is, like it's Mean Girls. And I don't know, I feel like maybe in recent years, like—

Like you feel shame, you feel basic.

Or like it's stupid. And also like a mean girl and I'm supposed to be like a nice woman, you know? Like it's a sequel. No, you know what? It is my favorite movie. It is, it is.

It's really so good.

Oh my God, you guys. And it's just like, some things are eternal. Like, obviously so much has changed in high school with like phones and stuff, but this movie—

Those dynamics.

Random Black hotties, like when they're going around JV jocks. Like, I seriously, ugh, it's so good.

Yeah. Well, I'm glad you enjoyed. I also watched Kardashians last night. I know you did too. Oh, so did I. We have it in the stories, so we'll recap it in the stories.

Okay, 'cause I watched the first episode and I told you guys that I fell asleep and it wasn't like necessarily a reflection on the show being boring. And after watching the second one, I can tell you the show is really boring. really boring.

We'll get into it in the stories. Yeah, but just know. And then I also went out to dinner last night.

Oh my God.

Yeah, and Miss Margo came and she was like helping me get ready. And did I, did I tell you I got Fifi gifting?

I— you actually didn't share it. I just found on your Instagram, like one of your— like one of your fans.

Yeah, I got Fifi, you guys. Rollers. I got rollers, I got a hairbrush, and I got like this silk top. So I like went to try it on last night and I just assumed like nothing that they make is gonna like, you know, it's not for like a mature woman. So, but the silk top I had, like, I had hopes and me and Margaret were both looking at it like,

right? Like, what is this? Like a protractor?

It's like a pillowcase.

Yeah. Right.

But it was actually so cute. It was made from 80% silk. I didn't wind up wearing it just cuz it like wound up not being like right for the occasion. But I was so impressed with Fifi and my girls.

Did you see our girls talking about us on their vlog?

I heard about it.

Yeah. So, uh, Brit, what's her name? Acquired. Acquired, like as a vlogger, obviously. And she was doing her hair, obviously. And she was talking about how like usually when she's doing her hair, she'll listen to a podcast. and she usually listens to The Toast. Like, she loves The Toast so much, it's the most amazing podcast that actually she listens to the ads too because one, we're just so funny, and two, she feels so sort of passionate about supporting us. And then I saw a hilarious comment yesterday. Someone was like, not me watching the whole episode with the ads just to see if Olivia called Jackie back. You actually cannot skip our advertisements. You can't. So obviously we have premium sponsors and it's so important to support our sponsors.

And you might get great codes, you might hear about cool brands.

Of course, and that's just kind of like an aside to the drama that happens and the inside jokes. I wouldn't miss it. Honestly, I really wouldn't.

I wouldn't either.

And I think that's probably why the, what the Golden Globes, like one of the many things they saw in us is like our commitment to like really holding space for our advertisers.

Which we do. And iHeartRadio Awards did not see that from us because we did not get nominated for best ad read.

Oh wait, they did not.

I will never get over that snub.

I mean, Thuma, Thuma, Thuma, Thuma. Let me be. What do you think is our best ad read ever? Like obviously Thuma, we came up with it, Rachel. I just took a DNA. Embark. Yep.

Embark, which is the DNA test for dogs.

Which I believe is actually a sponsor that's returning Q4.

I'm excited to bring back my original song where we sample Lizzo. It's about Theo. I wrote a song about Theo to the tune of— what's that song called?

Lizzo.

Lizzo. Her one and only

DNA by Lizzo.

He just took a DNA test, turns out he's 100% Russian even when he's fleeing countries. Yeah, he got—

what kind of problems did he have? Breath problems?

Heart problems. Yeah, he's got heart problems. That's a

caviar in him.

Bling bling, then he solves them. That's a doctor in him. Could have had a bad tigs. Non-committal.

Literally, Theo's lore goes so deep. The way that like songs were written about like Marilyn Monroe, like they were written about Theo. RIP.

RIP King.

Hope you're having fun in that dungeon in Brooklyn. Maybe it's at the bottom of Art of Play.

For sure. Next book he writes, Theo Loves Tacos. What? The owner of the store, he wrote Dragons Love Tacos.

Oh yeah, a lot of people are like contributing even more to the lore.

Apparently the owners— And like, as if that's gonna crack the case wide open. I personally don't care, I never read that.

Kelly Clarkson wrote River Run, whatever that children's book was called.

River Rose and the Magical Lullaby. And so if we're supporting children's authors, we should buy that one. I never bought Dragons Love Tacos. I think people like it. I will now never buy it.

No, people were like, the lore of these magicians. I guess they are like, if you're in the magic space, which I can admit I'm not, um, you might know the owners of this particular, um, toy store because they're like famous magicians and they have this like DVD that like went viral in the 2000s and they do these shows that are super popular. And I guess one of them also wrote this like well-known children's book. I've never even heard of it. I've heard of it. Oh, you have? I have.

Okay. Dragons Love Tacos. But like nothing about that was I like pulling

up. I just personally, I'm not the type of mom who would ever pick up a book. Eh, you know what? You really never know. 'Cause I probably never would've picked up Giraffes Can't Dance.

If not for Andrew Schultz.

If not for Andrew Schultz. Mm-hmm. Whom I really enjoyed having on the show, but I do feel like it's worth mentioning Like, he literally never once even posted that he was on our show. Like, reshared the story. And, you know, I— we tagged him in it and he like— you know when someone like messages you and you like heart it? Yeah. So he like saw it, he just like literally straight up didn't share. We don't even have guests. We were just like really passionate about his comedy special being good. Like, seriously, you could shove it. Like, that was so lame. I'm sorry, no, that's just like what you do. You're on someone's podcast and you post about it. Like,

happens, coach. Yeah, at least we have Gerald.

So true.

At least you brought us Gerald.

So true, 'cause we never would've read that children's book. And let me tell you, good luck getting through that book without crying. Oh, Gerald, don't be daft.

Good stuff.

Great stuff. What are the stories like today?

We actually have like a lot of Dancing with the Stars type stories. That's just been the theme of the week. I

wanna say something.

But you'll have plenty of time.

It's not about Dancing with the Stars.

Oh.

Well, it is, but like more at a glance. You know, we didn't watch Dancing with the Stars for many years, and I feel like we got so much like commentary like, please, like you guys have to watch Dancing with the Stars. I can't believe you guys don't watch. So now here we are like watching Dancing with the Stars, loving it so much, making it our whole personality. I'm seeing so much feedback being like, can you guys talk about anything other than Dancing with the Stars? No,

you guys,

you guys, we can't win.

Like, we seriously can't win. This happens all the time. We just get into something and we talk about it a lot and eventually we'll move on. Like this season will end and we will talk about other stuff, but like, this is what has us buzzing right now. And we wanna talk about the topics that we're buzzed about.

And it's not like other things are like falling off because of Dancing with the Stars.

Like seriously, you wanna talk about Shane Gillis some more?

Oh my God. I, I, I wanna tell you something. I really don't, like, I don't

wanna talk about it, but I actually meant to choose, I completely forgot it that day. And it actually didn't wind up becoming as big of a story. as I thought, because Tree Payne, like, you know, sent a nuke. But Travis Kelce liking—

Oh, right. I felt like people were actually looking too much into that.

No, but I felt like it was not gonna go away. I don't know how they got it to go away because it was really gaining steam one day, and then the next day it was nowhere.

When I went to go— but it's also very hard to know when, like, screenshots go viral if they're real, because when I went to go look, like, Killa Trav hadn't liked it, you know?

So he unliked it.

Did he unlike it? Let me just check now, like, for real.

I don't know, that was really murky for her.

Yeah, like, do you think Taylor— I think there was a time where like she would have cared so much about shit like that.

I don't think that she cares because he has his own career. If he wants to derail his own career, that's for him to do. It doesn't affect her. I— and I think it would also be for all, like, all the women to then blame the woman for what the man did is

hypocritical. Killa, right?

Killa Trav.

Tree Payne is in my phone. Okay, wait, Killa

Tree Payne called you? Yes, she called us to tell us not to make it a story.

No, it's not here, so that means he unliked it. Well, that actually says more than him liking it because I could see people just like, oh, I met Changelous once, he was nice, and you just like like his mom.

He's a comedian that I like. I saw he hosted SNL.

Travis like has a good relationship with SNL, so Taylor like—

And I'd rather him just like leave his like there because that's how I feel.

Right.

You're gonna shame me? Like, we're policing likes?

We're policing likes.

George Orwell called.

We're policing likes.

It's not happening here.

Also, I'm sure you guys saw the video of Michael Che being like hounded on the Today Show about what he thought. Actually, I think it's so annoying when you're like, well, what do you think of this? And like holding other people accountable for like someone else's thing. But I actually am kind of curious about like what Michael Che thought. And he was really being hounded by this Today Show interviewer.

You brought it up, I didn't listen to it.

Oh, you didn't? She was like actually very persistent. Where would I find it? Somebody texted it to me. It

was in our chat.

Yeah, I think I texted it to you guys actually, because I, I was really shook by her, her kind of kahunas, you know?

I don't even know who she is, so no, I don't know.

And by the way, I didn't know her either.

Let me see.

Wait, no, that's not it. It's a Rachel Parcel TikTok.

Classic.

I'm pulling it up. Michael J. She ain't going Okay. Okay, ready?

What's going on at SNL? Because we couldn't help but notice your Instagram, uh, this week making a reference to—

And just FYI, he is doing press for his own comedy special, and he had posted on Instagram, gonna do more press this week to promote the special. Wonder whatever question's gonna be about. Thanks a lot, Shane. That's funny. So that's what the interviewer was asking him about.

Okay.

Certain someone's opening monologue.

Oh no.

You said, thanks a lot, Shane, referencing, of course, You even had

to bleep that out.

Well, there was the eye roll emoji. But in all seriousness, how are you thinking about what happened this week with Shane's opening monologue? You've seen the pushback.

No, again, that's comedy. It's like you think it's funny and then some people don't.

Did you laugh at what he said?

I was— That's a crazy question. Actually thinking about what I was gonna say that was gonna make people upset. So I wasn't really I didn't even see it till like the next day.

And you thought?

I didn't think about it, honestly. I think it just didn't— it just was like—

Not everyone has to have an opinion on it.

No.

If you had seen it ahead of time, because the writers get to see the opening monologue, right? Ahead of time, they get to see the drafts, I assume.

If you're not working, there's so much going on, you really— it's really hard to Really hard to see what everyone's doing, you know? Yeah, especially like if, like for me, I'm not what they call good at my job, so I don't pay attention to it.

Oh, I don't know about that. You've been on the Weekend Update desk for a long time. If you haven't seen it—

Yeah, but that's different. That's why I got focused on Update because I'm, you know, it's not something that I'm natural at, so I gotta like really, really work at it. I gotta like study it.

Most of your fans love the joke swap with your buddy Colin?

Oh, she finally moved on.

Yeah, um, she was relentless. And like, sure, okay, I guess everyone's talking about it, like you have to ask. Like, but he, he said— he gave an answer.

What would you have thought if you saw it?

Insane. Like, really crazy. Um, and then he went on his Instagram again today being like, I'm promoting my special where I say 75 things that are 100 times worse than what Shane said, so it's like, who am I? I guess he's just not the type of comedian who likes to police other comics.

No, and it's not a spot that you want to get into. Because

then you're kind of like, kind of like a rat. Like, what? No, you're a rat, but then you also

are putting a target on your back. Like, I'm a perfect comedian, right? And everything that I say is funny and unoffensive. Come to me, and then we go and watch your special and it's worse, right?

And he says, he says the R-word.

Like, so yeah, he's smart not to say anything. And also, as an SNL cast member, I'm sure some of the women more so are offended by what Shane said, but they really shouldn't speak out against it because it makes the show look really bad. It would, it would stop people from wanting to host that. Like, they don't have your back and they would throw you under the bus.

There is like a general policy that the cast members like really shouldn't or can't

publicly— Like they didn't speak out about Kanye.

Right.

And

then, and there was drama with Elon, remember?

But when she was crying, like said she was crying when Elon hosted—

She came up with that like weeks— she told everyone that months later.

While she was still on the show.

Yes. But it was not, it was not in that time. Yeah. I do think you're really not allowed to. And they say you can just always tell like at the end when they're all clapping, like whether everyone likes the, the host or not.

Yeah. But I think it's, it would be a really bad precedent to—

And it wouldn't be encourage— like an encouraging place for people to wanna stop on their press tours. No. And like you just,

don't know who's gonna turn on you and like make you a fool in public, and then you'll feel like awkward in the writers' room throwing out jokes. Right. And then

it's supposed to be like a summer camp environment, you know? Yeah, all working together.

Yeah. Okay, let's get into the stories. Without further ado, it is time for the Fast Five stories that you need to know.

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Our first story, Dancing with the Stars drama. Val Chmerkovskiy apologizes to Judge Carrie Ann Inaba for referencing Will Smith's Oscar slap in response to her criticism of Jenna Johnson. So you guys, the pros are fighting because—

No, they're not even pros. Like,

pros and— I guess she was never a pro. So pros and judge. They're just not the stars part. So the dancers.

Everyone else is fighting.

The pros.

All the losers.

Okay, so this week, as we discussed, Carrie Ann sort of came for Jenna. She had a lift in her routine. You know, of course their routine was amazing, but Carrie Ann critiqued it.

Kind of like stunted on her publicly on the show, like embarrassed her a little bit. Apparently reports were saying Jenna was like sobbing backstage.

Yeah, so Val Chmerkovskiy, who's the husband of Jenna Johnson, then posted a photo of Will Smith, like infamously slapping The Rock at the Oscars. Um, after, uh, The Rock— The Rock, Chris Rock had made a comment about his wife. Then everyone's like flipping out. And then Val had commented on it saying, you almost saw the Fresh Prince enter the ballroom last night.

Like, seriously? Yikes.

Yeah. So then people were outraged that he would be threatening violence against a woman.

And like, people were truly— like, the thing is, I really couldn't believe that that is what he meant. And I saw people offering like other—

Takes, some people saying—

Yeah, being like, maybe he meant, 'cause you know, before Chris Rock slapped, got slapped, Will Smith had said, keep my wife's name out your fucking mouth, which would apply here. And I was like, oh, maybe that's what he meant. But honestly, his apology just didn't say that.

His apology confirmed that that's what he meant.

The slap, you mean?

Yeah, sort of. He didn't say like, I didn't mean that. So anyway, so after he posted that, then Carrie-Anne like—

'Cause if everybody thought I meant the slap, and I actually meant keep my wife, I would feel really— I would apologize, of course, but I would want people to know I didn't mean I was ever gonna slap a woman.

Yeah, so, but I can understand a world, it's like, this is a meme about defending your wife, here you go.

Right, but his apology did not say that, and I assume now that just contextualizing his apology, he was referring to slapping Carrie-Anne.

Oh my God.

Which is insane. When I saw this, I was like, there's literally no way. I did not believe it until his apology.

So then Carrie-Anne like went on Instagram and like, uh, she posted like other outlets that had reported the drama and she said, thank you for bringing this to my attention.

Is this what we're doing now?

And then Val just posted on his Instagram, I want to apologize from the bottom of my heart for my recent post. I've reached out to Carrie-Anne to apologize directly and personally, and I also want to apologize publicly as I understand my words affect so many outside of our internal Dancing with the Stars family. I should have never made the reference that I did, and I deeply regret it. I recognize that I'm in a fortunate, fortunate position to have a platform and to be a role model to some, And I need to treat that with more care by actively pausing to think before I post to ensure what I am sharing aligns with who I am and who I wanna be for you all. I'm truly sorry to Carrie Anne and everyone who I hurt with my careless post. I will do better moving forward. Okay, so he doesn't like entirely like confirm that that's what he meant, but he doesn't even try people's— But like sometimes people don't wanna hear your excuses, you know? It's just like, take accountability.

No, I think it's— if it's such an important distinction, I, And by the way, he's not from here. So like, I do think like people who aren't like American outright, like I'm just looking for excuses. Like I think that maybe it's so bad. Like I'm really—

I mean, I don't know him that well, but he seems like a nice guy and I just like to give people the benefit of the doubt. I don't think he's threatening to slap Carrie-Anne and Nobby in the face. I think it was a meme about defending your wife and how you like, you feel when someone's like coming for your wife. For your family. I don't think he was thinking about Carrie Ann on the other side of it. I think he just like was posting a meme. I'm in defensive husband mode. Like, and you don't— when you post that, you're not thinking through the layers of it. Well, what does this connote? What does this equal?

Of course. Of course. No, no, no. But it's such a bad joke and he absolutely should have apologized. He never should have posted that. I don't think Dancing with the Stars—

And they're not comedians. Like Dancing with the Stars is not like that. It's family friendly. Like we're not throwing down— We're not doing this. At a meeting in the parking lot at 3 o'clock. So like this sort of rhetoric has no place here and apologize for it. but I personally don't think he's a woman-beating, nasty individual.

Me neither. I don't think he's a woman-beating, nasty individual. I really don't. But there are seriously some jokes that just aren't funny. And I think also Dancing with the Stars is not really, as far as I know based on my limited involvement in the community, I don't really think that they fire a lot of, they don't police their talent a lot. I don't know if anyone's really ever been fired for saying something as it pertains to the show. So of course people are like calling for him to be fired. I don't think they do that. I think it's like a very tight-knit family. And I do think like, yes, giving him the benefit of the doubt, like not connecting the dots immediately that you're saying you're gonna slap a woman is like what he meant. He was more so protecting his wife. And I actually am really glad he apologized because it was— I was shocked. Like I was really shocked.

Yeah. I also think like in general, the pros need to like stop—

Yes. The pros need to get offline.

No, but also like the judges come to— they are there to judge. If you fucked up in your dance, they're going to call it out. And yes, your dance was amazing and everybody's working hard. Like maybe, sorry, they're not giving you enough compliments, but like stop taking the judges' criticism so personally.

Yeah, I also think the pros get way too involved in like the community rhetoric on social media. And we've talked about even like with Guillermo, like there really like are corners of this fan base that are insane, very passionate, very zealous, and like, you know, dedicate their whole social medias to talking about what's going on. And almost every single time I see a TikTok, I open the comments and one of the pros is in there. Like, get out, go back to rehearsal. Like seriously, get off your phones. They're too involved. You also need to let your community, Like, it's an entertainment show. You need to let them just like have their space.

It's not real and it doesn't matter. Like, look at what happened to Whitney Levitt last season. Like, nobody got more hate and now nobody is like—

More beloved.

More beloved and looked at more favorably. And like, when we look at her season, we're like, oh my God, I can't believe we got to see that. So like, when it's happening, people don't know what they're saying, but we don't have to hold those people accountable 'cause we don't fucking know them and they're random people.

And it's like, let it be.

You are a role model. You do have a platform. Like, this is like for creators in general, like stop getting in the mud.

On like the critiques of you. Yeah. You're not meant to see that, first of all. And I'm sorry that you do. But getting, it's kind of how like authors are really not ever supposed to interact or read their negative reviews. Like you're not supposed to respond.

Never listen to the redheads if you've written the book.

Right.

Never.

You need to give, if you're creating art, like you really do need to give your audience space to critique it positively and negatively. And every, literally every time I see a TikTok, I'm opening up, I'm like, I just know one of these bitches is in the comments. They are all way too chronically online. And I know that like being online is a part of the show and how you successfully like make it is by TikTok. And so I know it's like a necessary evil, but like They all need to step away. They're doing too much. That's kind of what I was trying to say about Derek Hough, just commenting on our stuff, even though he's not a pro. It's like, they're all so involved in the community, it's too much. And maybe when the show was smaller, that was nice that they were involved in their community engagement, but the show is huge, you're all major stars, you have millions of followers. Let the audience just talk and spew their shit. It will be over in a few weeks.

I've also been seeing this narrative that the old Dancing with the Stars was much more interesting, much more tea, much more drama. The pros and the judges would literally fight during—

On screen.

On screen. You saw that. Have you seen the clip of like Maxim and Len telling him to retire? Like crazy. And I think there's some people being like now, the old Dancing with the Stars was better. And so like they might feel like a little bit emboldened to like go for the jugular a little bit sometimes. But like that doesn't— it's 2026. Like that's not gonna work. Like everyone is brand safe. Nothing is drama, especially this show. I don't know why or how it happened, but it's just become like a family-friendly,

like,

all-American— Yeah. And all that has been left behind. So like, if you're trying to like take up the, the Maxim mantle, like, don't do it. It's not the environment.

No. And 2026 is not the year.

Yeah. And I don't wanna see awkward tension on my screen. Like, I just wanna see the dance.

It's fun. It's fun.

You know? And if Kari Ann Namba says you didn't do the samba and you did a lift, take it on the chin and move on. Like, you guys did a great dance, whatever.

It's true.

So I think everyone needs to take things a little less personal. And yes, he fucked up, but like, I think he should not be fired. No. I don't think that's what he meant. It's just unfortunate. Yeah. Hopefully Carrie Ann can forgive him. And if Carrie Ann can forgive him, then everyone can.

Yeah. I wonder if they'll like

discuss it

or like address it even.

I don't know.

I feel like maybe when Val's like getting his critiques and Carrie Ann's talking, he'll like say something. Yeah. That would be appropriate.

And to say like a nice thing like, Carrie Ann, I respect you so much. Thank you.

Yeah. You're a queen.

I value—

We said this earlier. I value your counsel. Carrie Ann, like, really gets so much shit for sort of being the Simon Cowell. And it's like, well, somebody has to be the Simon Cowell.

I guess that's the absence of Len is what I'm understanding. Yeah, but I think— It used to be Carrie-Anne, Len, and Bruno, and then Len passed, and Len was the Simon.

Yeah, but Len was always— Len was never like critical in like a mean way. And Carrie-Anne's not mean either, but she just like is very matter-of-fact, whereas Len was like this old grandpa. So it was like all like, oh, Len, like, you know?

Yeah, maybe it's a little bit Like,

well, that's just, I think, a lot of misogyny

coming from a woman. Exactly, because then she's a bitch, right?

Right, right.

Are you ready for our next story? More Dancing with the Stars news, because Kim Kardashian actually was on Jimmy Kimmel talking about her experience on Dancing with the Stars, which is just so crazy. She is still traumatized by her experience, as are we now knowing what we know.

She was partnered up with Mark Ballas.

She was partnered with Mark Ballas. She said to Jimmy Kimmel, I would honestly cry in my trailer like every single night praying to get kicked It was so hard for me. At the time, she reflected, I was so shy to do it. I couldn't get over myself. I couldn't get into it 'cause I was just so shy.

By the way, a lot of people have that experience. Like Lisa Vanderpump famously with the fainting. Okay. Well, and she said— People who just can't do it for like physical or emotional reasons. Like—

She said, I've never danced again. I am traumatized. It's traumatized me for life. Well, we know from the show that she hates to dance.

Yes. Like she got pulled up on stage by whom? And she— Prince. Prince. And she like wouldn't go and she wouldn't dance. And it was like, he like kicked her off.

I think she started dancing more because of North and TikTok. Yeah. Right. which is really beautiful and full circle. So it's insane that she ever went on Dancing with the Stars considering she hates to dance. But I think that's how desperate you have to be.

To be famous. Yeah. It's a real, it would be like, seriously, like me going on Special Forces, like your biggest op, but like, you know, you want, and what's crazy is like the show wasn't that huge at the time. So like she was really desperate.

She pulled up a clip of them dancing.

I've seen clips.

And she was like, I can't even watch it.

She's really bad. Do you, do you know about Swimming with the Stars or Skating with the Stars? Yeah. They, they tried to do these offshoots. of like professional diving and ice skating. Honestly, they should try again. Like,

yeah, we're— I'm ready for it now.

Yeah. And I think that like people love these types of shows now because there are so many reality stars and so many influencers and so many people we wanna see like doing things. Give Skating with the Stars a try.

Yeah.

And there are so many famous figure skaters who could become pros.

Yeah.

Honestly, free idea.

Kim said they had a family poker night 3 weeks ago and Kylie decided to put it on the big movie screen because half the people there didn't know that Kim did it and she wanted to show everyone. She said, thank God it's so old that it's like pixelated. There's no HD version of it on YouTube.

Yeah, there are like weird, um, like deep-rooted lore of people who you would never think would be on Dancing with the Stars. Zendaya.

Yeah.

Kim, of course. Sean Spicer. Like, there are so many people who you're like, wait, what?

Yeah, it—

'Cause it was a thing for people who were like really on the rise at the time. Like, you weren't that famous yet, but like you were on your way. Now it's like, honestly, I think it's a tough gig to get.

Yeah, it makes me wonder though, like, who right now is crying in their trailer, like desperate to go home? I feel like nobody. Let me, let me actually think.

Whitney Carson. No kidding. Um, nobody,

right? It feels like every— and because historically, like Lisa Vanderpump, we've known that there have been people who haven't enjoyed doing the show, but it doesn't feel like people feel that way anymore.

No,

you have to really want to do it.

Also, I've been meaning to tell him this— Josh Peck needs to do Dancing with the Stars. I think he would be really good.

Yeah, he could totally win if he like— exactly, put 2 steps together.

He's got tons of followers, fame, like people who will actually vote for him. I think he's probably a good dancer.

Yeah,

he could talk about like—

it's like Jordan Fisher.

Yes, exactly, like those Nickelodeon kids, like they're built different. Was Kornbluh on?

Yeah, apparently he came in second to Amber Riley.

Oh, she was a tough gal to beat. Also, I wanted to say one more thing. Remind me.

Or he won. It's one or the other.

Oh, I'm really glad that I said— you know, I thought I was really gonna get in a lot of trouble for what I said about Julia Stiles, um, but so many people agreed with me and actually emboldened me to take my step even further because apparently like Julia Stiles has gone on record saying like her and Heath like never really kept in contact after their movie together. And obviously like she was saddened by his passing, but this wasn't a person who was particularly close to her. And the word I was looking for yesterday, thank you, was performative. It is a really performative— and it's like, it's almost— it's very in line with Julia Stiles, like giving us nothing personally. Like when we talk about her packages—

Is she married?

We know nothing about her. And it's like, it's not on you to tell, like spill your guts, but that is how you connect with an audience. And it's like she's just pulling out all these stops for like what she thinks people want so they can continue You're dedicating it to Heath Ledger? Like, you did one movie together 27 years ago, and you have gone on record saying you didn't even keep in touch afterwards.

And they're doing it to that Frankie Valli song that's from the movie, Can't Take My Eyes Off of You.

So it's like, it's just so like corny and honestly not real. So I'm glad I said it, and thank you to everybody who gave me even more context, like emboldening me.

Yeah.

Linda emboldened him.

Yeah. I wonder who will be there for— like, if Michelle Williams is there, to support.

I doubt it.

I'll accept it.

I genuinely doubt it.

Yeah. Our next story is a little more Kardashian news. Kardashians season 8 episode 2 dropped 2 days ago. And some headlines, Kendall Jenner says that dating would be easier if she was a lesbian. She says men suck.

One of the— The boys, yeah. One of the most painful scenes to watch in maybe Kardashians history.

I feel really embarrassed because Zach was there when I watched it.

Oh, yikes.

And he was already like bummed that I turned— we came back from dinner, we didn't have a lot of time to watch TV. He turned on football. I was like, no, I have to watch Kardashians. And so that was the first thing. And he was like, this show sucks. I was like, it's not that bad.

And the thing is, I actually think that L'Oréal show is so interesting. And I love that Kendall does it. I know she's like the big face of L'Oréal. And this was clearly like an advertisement for L'Oréal too. And she got Cara and like, it really had potential to be like a very interesting scene for Kendall. And I don't think she has a lot of those. And her just sitting there like drunk on red wine being like, I can be a lesbian. Like, It was so honestly homophobic. Like, it was awful.

It was queerbaiting.

Oh, 1,000%. And Cara's such a good sport, and I would've loved to hear more about like just their friendship when she was talking about how like Cara really took her under her wing and they were showing all those shows from the photos from the Chanel fashion show. Like, there's just like— it's not for lack of— there's not not interesting things to talk about here, but it's like she didn't stop. And she's like looking at the camera with like her red wine and she's like, I mean, like, I've never tried it, but like—

No, and she said, she said, you know, we should address this. Like, I think she felt like so like, oh, we're gonna give the people tea. We're finally gonna say the thing that everybody wants to hear. And it was just like, no. Maybe if you had this conversation 5 years ago, we would've cared.

Maybe.

Maybe. But like now it's like, oh, we've all seriously moved on.

And like really nobody thinks you're a lesbian. And even if you were, like literally nobody cares. Like be lesbian. Like that's wonderful. Like it's not such a big deal. You don't need to like—

And I don't know if I ever like thought that they dated.

I didn't.

I thought like, obviously we've all heard the rumors. Yeah, of course. Not about them, but about Kendall.

Yeah, only 'cause she's like the only sister in the family who's not married and she's like, He's like sort of a tomboy, like, I love horses and I'm a nerd.

Yeah, um, if I ever thought that they dated, which I didn't, um, I, I would— I do believe her that they didn't date, that they've never hooked up.

Sure, I believe her. I don't care enough to like not believe. And Cara was a good sport, and Cara was also like, yeah, you know, there was a time in my life, and this is true, where like anyone I was spotted with just like assumed— she was kind of making Kendall be like, you're not special. Like, yeah, anyone I was spotted with who was a girl, like, people just assumed I was with. And that was true at the time. Um, it was just such a corny scene. I was like actually like Butt clenching the whole time.

Yeah, I was really embarrassed to watch that in front of Zach. Um, the rest of the episode, highs and lows, I would say.

Mostly lows. It was so boring.

One part that I did like was my 2 new faves.

The male model with Khloé?

Pause. Kylie and Kourtney getting together.

Oh, that was cute.

Talking about their home renovations.

It's giving Olivia and Margot.

Give me a spinoff show of the 2 of them doing their homes. Like Kourtney and her fireplaces.

Well, didn't you feel like the word fireplace started to sound weird?

Yeah. No, but it was just like so funny. Also, I love that her house is gonna be amazing.

I really like the duo too, like an unexpected duo.

And I just don't understand like why a 10-month project for them could take like 3 years. 3 years. Like, don't you have the best contractors? I don't know. So I, I, that was like, I found it all to just be so, especially cuz like doing house stuff right now, I would love a fireplace. Like I just found it to be so relatable. I loved it. And they're such an unlikely duo. And like, I was having dinner with a friend last night and we were both talking about how we were gonna go home and watch. And we were talking about like our faves right now. And I was like, I love Kylie, of course. And then I was like, I also really like Kourtney. Like at times it depends on the environment she's in, but like that specific like does a lot for me. More of them.

Yeah, her DMV part 2 was even more boring than part 1. Like it was genuinely dreadful.

I was on my phone, I'm not gonna lie.

So it's like, I feel like I wanna vindicate Kourtney 'cause I do feel like she's been wronged by her sisters in the last couple of years and I do think she's like really misunderstood. But then she goes and gives us that and it's like, I appreciate that she's showing up for work and like this is her way of doing it. She wants to be prioritizing family and I get that, but it's like, it's so boring. We had to watch it twice, last week and this week.

No, but I guess like some people care about Landon and like the Barker children. So like maybe for them— I

care about Alabama, I do. Like, that's next week. I know.

But maybe for them, like, that scene like scratched something in their brain. Like, I don't know, but we're watching the Kardashians, not the Barkers.

Yeah, it was so boring. It really was.

Not Meet the Barkers.

There was a lot of boring bits. Um, obviously Kendall, obviously the DMV, All's Fair was like pretty boring. Oh

my God, that was so strange. It was just It's like, we are going on a press tour. First we're going to New York. We're in New York on the press tour.

The whole episode was so branded.

Every episode. The whole show is a commercial for their next project.

And then one of the projects, All's Fair, is a Hulu production. We're watching the show on Hulu. So it was like, it was literally just like a Hulu commercial.

It was a glamorous commercial for All's Fair.

Then the perfume. It was so branded. L'Oréal. Like I was actually getting— and I don't even mind branded stuff. I was like, I do think it's interesting how you make your money.

Yeah, that's fine.

Boring.

I'm a capitalist.

100%. And it's like, that's my dream job. I would love to—

But like, you could do it better.

I did enjoy the mentalist, but like they showed—

I— that's what I was gonna say. I loved the mentalist.

But they showed too many tricks. Like at the end I was like, all right, well, you're obviously gonna get Helen.

Like, no, I would see more. I was just thinking we need to have him on the toast.

So the good guys had— I think it might have been, you know, there's 2.

Yeah.

They're both like Israeli.

One with a T, right?

Oz, and I think like Lior.

Hold on, mentalists.

Can you just tell me what good guys mentalist had on? Ben said it was

Was it remote though?

Uh, no. Oh, they had Oz Perlman. Oz Perlman. Yeah, he's like—

I saw him on Joe Rogan once too, and he guessed Joe's PIN number, and Joe was like, he's out. He's

a Jew. Kim needs to date him.

Yeah.

Like, they obviously have amazing chemistry.

I think that about like everyone. I, I still am hung up on Kim and Andrew Huberman. Like, that's—

I moved on.

That's a couple like that I think would have broke the internet.

I think like he would have made her more insufferable. Like, I'm looking for somebody to really ground her. her, and that's not Andrew Huberman.

No, I think it's— it's certainly not Lewis.

I would love to have Oz Perelman on the show. Like, we could just ask Ben. We should fly him in. Like,

yeah, I think he's so interesting. Like,

I agree.

I'm like, you know I hate games. I hate when like someone brings a magician to a party and then makes me— I like it if I'm at the party or if I have to watch a, a show about that. Nightmare fuel. I loved it. How does he do it?

I have no idea.

How does he do it?

I have no idea. He's really one of the world's greatest.

It's crazy.

Also, um, we didn't get a lot of Kris this episode, which was devastating, 'cause like she is, in my opinion, like just as— she deserves her own— like, they all get like chapters. She like doesn't get one. She just like pops up in other people's.

Yeah, she— Khloé's talking about her daughter Tyla.

Oh, right. So I feel like she's never gonna have the daughter, because you don't share the name unless you know you're never having the kid, you know?

I guess that's an us thing. I don't know that that's necessarily true. And she would have to name her Tyla if she has her.

It's cute.

I wonder if she's gonna have the daughter. I—

oh, I thought it was really interesting talking about the paperwork.

Yeah.

She owns all the embryos.

The least Tristan could do.

Of course. And like, Khloe's actually hella smart for that. But that's just like crazy that that's a thing you can do, like own embryos, you know, legally. But I mean, look what happened to Sofia Vergara.

Yeah, it's really complicated stuff.

No, she's, she's 100% valid and right for that. And I bet it's like such a freeing feeling to be able to make those decisions on your own without having to consult literally the dumbest person in the world, who they're so kind to. Like, he was at the mentalist with his friends.

They like him. I don't know why. But they like everyone. He's not special.

French Montana still comes, you know, like they just collect people.

They do. But like Lamar doesn't come, you know, Pete Davidson doesn't come. They like Tristan, which is good because that's the father of her children.

I think sometimes like the men they collect are sort of wayward and make the perfect addition to their family, but some of them like have other things going on. Like I think Pete has like, you know, a life back home. Like he's not looking for a second family. I think a lot of them actually are like sort of like orphans.

Yeah. Yeah.

And Kris is more than happy to be Miss Hannah She's so Miss Hannigan.

She is.

She looks great. I love her. We didn't get enough Chris. It was so boring. Like, seriously, it's, it's cool.

I hope Chloe has the baby.

Yeah, or whatever she wants. Actually, I feel like I kind of like she's like re-emerging.

Like, I know she probably feels like I'm gonna have to go back in.

She's got her pink back, pink back.

Her son is 3, I think, so it's not like you're fully out.

No, but you're out of like diapers. Like, a lot of the the trenches.

Yeah.

And she could like— and she said she might be ready to date. Like, if she goes back into the newborn bubble, like, she won't be ready.

I wish she asked out the male model. Um, it was giving though Kim and Shango.

No, it wasn't giving Kim and Shango because Kim and Shango had like a real chemistry. I actually felt so awkward watching Khloe. No. And the model, when he was like pushing her up against the rock, I was like, okay, calm down.

That was terrible. But when she left set, she finally was normal and she was like, oh my God, thank you so much. and like it was actually cute. I feel like she could have been like, like, we should get dinner sometime. I feel like in a situation like that, like, she would have to ask him because of the power dynamic.

Absolutely. But I'm telling you, like, she didn't like him. That's the thing. They had bad chemistry. Shango and Kim, it was electric. Literally,

it was. Um, okay, so that's Kardashians recap. Are you ready for our 4th story?

I feel like I'm not ready.

I feel like you're not.

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Yes.

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People really love it. Home Chef is rated number 1 by users of other meal kits for quality, convenience, value, and taste. Oh, and recipe ease. For a limited time, Home Chef is offering our listeners 50% off and free shipping on your first box, plus free dessert for life. Go to homechef.com/toast. That's homechef.com/toast for 50% off your first box and free dessert for life. homechef.com/toast. You must be an active subscriber to receive the free dessert. Today's episode is also brought to you by Parallel. So as you guys know, like, everyone's talking about it, baby number 2. Yes. And I've actually been taking Parallel. So I learned about Parallel prenatals, I think after my first pregnancy. I did not take them in my first pregnancy. And when I learned that they have prenatals that are like literally changing throughout your pregnancy, you're not taking the same one pill every day, you're actually doing like trimester packs and it's not just one pill, it's like a little collection of pills. I was very intrigued by that and I like the company. We talk about them a lot. You take their electrolytes a lot. They're just like a good woman-founded brand.

They work with a lot of OB-GYNs and I feel like they're a really trusted brand. So I'm taking the second trimester pack right now, which I love. It has, I think, 2 maybe one magnesium pill. And you know, I'm like, I'm all about magnesium these days.

Going crazy.

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I love that. It was founded—

Double down. Yeah, of course.

You have to take pills too.

No, of course. I'm like, at night, like, take all my pills. What are you doing. Um, it was founded by an OB-GYN. Um, and I just feel like it's the trust that people are really drawn to when it comes to Parallel. They do all the homework so you don't have to. If you're pregnant, if you're trying, or postpartum— partum— you need to check out Parallel. We really recommend it. We have an exclusive code just for you. New customers can use code TOAST to get 20% off your first order at parallelhealth.com/toast. That's parallelhealth.com/toast. Today's episode is also brought to you by Groons. So Groons is a daily pack of gummies because you can't fit the amount of nutrients that Groons does into one gummy. It makes it a really fun treat, um, and people are obsessed with Groons, especially this time of year because it's like sick season. Sweater weather is amazing, but all that comes with it— sniffles, everyone at office being sick. Well, Groons is your daily way of feeling like you're supporting yourself through a season that asks a lot of your immune system. So it's a vegan, nut-free, gluten-free, dairy-free, no artificial flavor gummy pack.

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We love Groon's, and we have a code to save up to 61% off with free gifts using code TOAST at groons.co. That's G-R-O-O-N-S dot C-O, code T-O-A-S-T. Today's episode is also brought to you by Thrive Cosmetics. Thrive Cosmetics is a cosmetics brand that first of all just makes like amazing products. I love their mascara. But they're also cosmetics— they're a really cause-driven company. A lot of their proceeds go to like women's organizations Um, and they have amazing products. Like, I feel like that just needs to be said. So the, uh, I use a liquid lash extensions mascara every single day. It's like the green tube in all my get ready with me's. They also have an eyeshadow palette. They've got lip stains. They've got great hydrating lip balms. I love everything I've ever gotten from Thrive. The eyeshadow palette helps simplify your eye routine. It comes in 4 essential shades, each labeled with like where it goes. If you have a hard time doing eyeshadow— myself— they give you 4 shades. They tell you to put it, whether it's your lid, your crease, define, or your highlight. You know exactly where to apply them. It's infused with skin-loving ingredients like hyaluronic acid, aloe leaf extract, and antioxidant-rich rice extract.

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Thank you, T-U-R-T.

You're welcome.

Our next story, Hailey Bieber's overconsumption comment has sparked a social media firestorm. I know. So Hailey Bieber, uh, attended Fortune's Most Powerful Women Summit, and one part of the conversation is really going viral with everyone sharing their takes. So this is what she said. She said, quote, I really am not interested in overconsumption. She explained that Rhode's philosophy has always centered on creating one version of each product that customers genuinely need. She added that she wants to really, uh, she wants every release to reflect items she personally uses rather than launching products simply to increase sales. Right. The comments quickly sparked debate online. Critics pointed to their expanding catalog, which includes the lip gloss phone cases and pimple patch accessories. They argued that these frequent releases directly contradict her message of overconsumption.

The thing is, I actually know what she meant. Like, when you go to the Rhode, um, what's the word?

Website?

No, in at Sephora, like the Rhode section counter. Sure. They really don't have that many products for a billion-dollar brand. And that's, I think, what was so impressive about their valuation was like, at the time, it was like the toner, the Glazy Milk, the— it's like 6 or 7 skincare products plus the blush. It is impressive. So I know like that's what she Um, and I do think she was just like sort of like using like a

buzzword.

Yeah, like to like make herself look good. And it's like, well, if you look at anyone's, you know, life holistically, you'll point out where they have overconsumed. Like, so I knew what she was like trying to say, but it's like, just stop trying so hard to appease people because like seriously nobody cares. Rhode is great. Rhode is great. Like, it's all good.

Yeah, yeah. And it just—

Yeah, like making a phone case that also holds your lip gloss and your pimple patch, like, is not underconsumption.

Not in that someone said, uh, you know, she makes the same exact lip tide product in 12 different tints,

like,

correct, new flavor every day.

No, but then if she didn't, people would be like, well, your shade range isn't inclusive, you know what I mean? So it's like you really can't win. Yeah, so like, don't even bother trying, like, seriously.

Yeah, it felt like a little like preachy, and which is like, that's not what road is. Like, you launch a brand and you want to be a billionaire.

Of course. And if you're really not interested in overconsumption and you're just like a wealthy celebrity, like, you wouldn't start a brand, period.

Yeah, there's nothing wrong.

I'm an overconsumer.

There's plenty of skincare and your skin was fine. And yeah, I mean, you could make that that argument. She went on to say, you know, like, a conversation about margins hates to see me coming, because like when they're trying to like trim the margins to increase the profit, she never wants to do that. Like she wants the product to be amazing, which I, I don't even think has to do with, you know, any communist vibes from her. I think it's more so like you want to put out a, a product that you can be proud of. You're not trying to like skim on everything.

Okay, but you know that like when they went to e.l.f., like all the sizes, like the prices stayed the same and the size, the components down. So it's like she's selling less product for this. Like the, the Rhode toner is like now smaller and like less fluid ounces. Interesting. So it's like, it's actually the opposite. So it's like nobody cares. She's like, don't say it.

You wanted to make it even smaller.

Yeah, like don't even start.

But I understand what she's saying, cuz sometimes that happens like with stuff that we're doing when it's like, well, this will make it— we can do it this way, but it's gonna be more expensive. And like you're— you don't wanna charge more. So yes, the product will be smaller. I'm like, but I actually— and me capitalist saying, no, I don't care. I don't wanna put out that version.

Of course. No, no.

And I don't wanna charge that much.

It's her name on the brand and it's her name at stake. Like I totally I get it. But she is just somebody who people are obsessed with criticizing. So this was gonna happen.

No, and I love her. I always defend her, but I saw that clip organically on my own. I was like—

Please.

Like, seriously.

Agreed. And I agree. If she has no haters, I've passed away. I mean, sorry. If she has no fans, I've literally passed away. Send my best to Romeo.

Communism is in vogue, so I understand what she was trying to do.

1,000%. Just

give a little sprinkle of background to Haley.

Right, for the commies. 100%. But people saw right through it.

They saw right through it. I'm actually shocked that like more— that so many people saw right through it instead of being like—

And it was like this business conference. Like, why are people even watching it? You know?

It was like Fortune. This is like capitalism HQ.

101. Yeah. Where like capitalism was invented.

Yeah. So rare.

Rare.

Rare. Our 5th and final story is just a fun one about a toaster.

What?

Yeah, Daniella Monet, her new show Hollywood Arts, the Victorious spin-off, just came to Netflix.

I just want to say I love this concept. People don't— when we talk about—

Daniella Monet is a toaster, by the way.

Yeah, she plays Tori Vega. Chicago!

And the new show Hollywood Arts follows Trina,

who's Tori's— who, by the way, she plays Trina Vega. She's Tori's little sister.

Yeah, so she doesn't play Tori Vega, she plays Trina Vega.

What did I say?

Tori Vega.

Oh my God, how dare I? How dare I?

Well, the new show follows Trina, who's now a struggling actress as she returns to her former performing arts high school as an unqualified substitute teacher.

Like, really cute concept. I feel like there's actually a lot of lore, like, you know, we've beaten everything to death, right? We do revamp, reboot, reunion, and a lot of like the iconic Nickelodeon shows, I think because of like the whole like Dan Schneider thing, they never really go there. They never do reboots or anything. But Victorious, like, the cultural impact the show had really can't be beat. And I love that they're taking it from the Trina Vega role.

No, also the premise, and it is on Netflix, so it can be a little saucier. The premise is giving Bad Teacher. Like, I love that sort of environment of just like wayward teacher.

I hope there's going to be original music. That was like one of the better parts of Victorious, like lowkey the bops.

Yeah.

You don't have to be afraid to put your dream in action. You'll never be an invade, you'll be the main attraction. Like, so good.

What I'm going to do now is freak the freak out.

My best friend's brother is the one for me. Like, so good.

So good. So

not enough people are making original music on their TV shows, I just wanna say.

Daniella Monet is returning. Matt Bennett is returning as Robbie Shapiro. Classic. Eric Lane.

What is he, like the principal?

Uh, he will be— he admits that he has a crush on Trina.

Oh, how sweet.

Yeah, whatever. Eric Lane is Mr. Sikowitz. Oh, I remember. Brown as Principal Helen Dubois.

Yvette Nicole Brown.

Yeah, it sounds really good.

I know. Like, you know what I feel like could be coming next? Drake and Josh reboot. Like, Drake and Josh are on good terms.

That's where my mind went.

I know nothing, by the way. I'm not like speaking out of turn. I know that they're on like very good terms. They've mended their relationships, and I think they healed through a lot of like their trauma together, publicly and privately. And Netflix is picking up old Nickelodeon shows. Like, hello, I know 2 Guys, yeah, Ben Soffer would not be okay. He would make us move to LA and like, he would obviously get like a very— he would get a very small role like as a barista or something. Um, and he would make us all move out to LA.

Make you move to LA again?

Yeah, guys, just know if I move to LA in the next couple of months and I'm like making up a fake lie about it like I did for The Masked Singer, it's because there's a Drake and Josh reboot.

Or she's doing Dancing with the Stars. Or I'm doing Dancing with the Stars.

But no, in the next couple of months that wouldn't happen.

Or we're both doing doing Dancing with the Stars. Dream.

But I'm

saying Val can't get fired before you do it, right?

I don't want to be with Val.

Oh, you still want to be with Jan?

Of course, we would have so much fun. We probably wouldn't win, but we—

Even though we have like the brother-sister plan? Remember my plan for like we should go on together?

And both be with brothers.

And be with brothers.

But Maxim's not even on the show anymore, so your plan is already defunct.

Maybe he comes back all the time, looks charming.

And honestly, Val, like, he's kind of controversial right now, and like, I'm really not interested.

Who are you to judge?

Yeah, no, I know. I'm saying like the two of us together, like too radioactive. Me and Yan.

You need brand safe.

And I wanna have a good time cuz I'm not gonna win. So like I just wanna at least enjoy myself and I feel like Val would actually be like really hard on me.

You know what's funny? Kim, I can't believe we didn't make this comparison. Kim on Dancing with the Stars is you on Masked Singer.

Yeah, except she didn't quit.

But she like, you know, danced into oblivion.

She might as well did. Yeah. Yeah.

She had the same exact experience. Yeah. Crying every day in her trailer.

Literally.

Someone put it on the screen at a family reunion. Yeah. Wow.

100%.

She's an inspiration.

No, no. And it's nice to see, like, it didn't impact her career and it won't impact mine.

And it's nice to see that it didn't ruin singing for you like it ruined dancing for her.

Oh, that's true. But you— there's, there's really nothing in the world that could happen to ruin singing for me.

Yeah. Okay, let's do Queenie and Weenie.

Oh yeah, of course. Queenie and Weenie. Let me see, I wrote this down.

Me as well.

Oh yeah. Okay, so Queenie and Weenie is our final segment of every week. Every Friday we just like wrap up the show, take a look back at what an amazing week we had, and we give out 2 It's based on a game we used to play as children called Weenie of the Week, where Olivia and Jackie would gang up and bully me and Margot, and one of us was always Weenie of the Week. But we're taking our power back and we're giving it to other celebrities. It's not a big deal. Don't get offended if you're Weenie of the Week. It's literally seriously just a 7-day title. We'll see you next Friday. So we're starting with Queenie.

Yes, of course my Queenies are Guillermo and Whitney. Um, both equally Queenie. Maybe Whitney like a little bit more, just as like a pregnant mama of 2. um, what they've done for this country, for women, for men of a certain age. Like, can't—

Did you see that he bought her a Dior bag?

I did, and a beautiful color too. Guillermo has taste.

It's like Tiffany blue.

It's gorgeous. And then she wore it to the Rare Impact Fund Gala,

and she also went on Jimmy Kimmel,

right? And now I'm so excited for her to go home and put those feet up.

Godfather Guillermo, you think?

Perhaps. I don't even know. I think she's like—

I honestly don't even know what to make of their relationship.

I don't even think she can process like all She's just like, please, can I sit down?

Sit down, please. My Queenie just goes to an organization that I feel continues to have great taste and see, you know, undiscovered talent. And that organization is the Golden Globes. And I might even make them my Queenie every week until the nominations come out. I've just— for another week, I have found myself in awe of their ability to scout beautiful women and talent.

Yeah, it's so true. I think they picked us out of a pile of stuff.

Literally. And like, maybe someone would say like, those belts are all the same, but no, they know what we are.

Yeah, that's beautiful.

Now of course, my weenie of the week.

Is Art of Play.

100%. I literally, I hate to even make them weenie of the week because the whole saga like did bring me a lot of joy, but that's honestly on Kelly because Kelly's the one who brought it to the public. Um, every time I learn something about these owners in the store and I see the video, and then I watched his interview, Kelly Clarkson put us in danger, like, I think you're a bigger loser than I did the minute prior. Um, I literally like hate these guys.

Yeah,

weenie.

Just like, be kind to your customers. Um, you're not better than anyone.

You're not.

And that was mine as well, so we're aligned.

I love when we're aligned. That is our show. That's our week. Thank you guys so much for listening to The Toast, the millennial morning show where we deliver the fast 5 stories you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube. So if you're watching this on YouTube, please feel free to subscribe and give this video a thumbs up. We're also available as a podcast anywhere podcasts can be found, so that's Spotify, iTunes, Stitcher, Public Radio, iHeartRadio, Castbox, all the places where you listen to podcasts. Find us, The Toast, leave a 5-star review about how beautiful, stunning, and wickedly talented we are. Hope you guys have an amazing weekend, and we'll see you on Monday.

Love ya, bye!