Transcript of Gone Too Soon, Guillermo: Wednesday, October 14th, 2026

Good morning, girlies, it's The Toast. It's Jax and Claude and we're your hosts. It's your favorite show, the fast 5 things you need to know. We'll start your day off swirly, it's The Toast. I sound amazing.

Welcome back to The Toast and happy Wednesday, a dark day here at The Toast. The Guillermo Watchdog Podcast has officially—

I was gonna start on some positives first.

Which is?

Like, of course, like just happy Wednesday.

What's positive in this world?

We are almost wearing blue. We're so cute.

We should be wearing black.

We completed another photo shoot yesterday where we slayed the house down boots and I'm so—

Yes, you can probably tell from my smoky eye.

Like we worked so incredibly hard and it's gonna be so amazing.

We did an amazing photo shoot. Like being a model wasn't as bad as it could have been.

No, it was really bad, but it all turned out so Pargi that like how could you be mad?

There was an outdoor portion, which I as a pregnant person person felt extremely offended by.

You're a pregnant person.

I'm a pregnant person. Cuz you guys know,

cuz you're not a woman.

No, no. And anyone can get pregnant super easy too. Like not even hard.

Um, yeah, we were outdoors, we were melting.

We were again modeling.

Don't ask us what it's for.

Like, we'll tell you soon enough. Like, just, just be patient.

Enjoy the—

it's not about the destination, it's about the journey.

And everything's like gonna change, you know? Like life is gonna change when—

who knows where we'll— oh, oh, I thought you meant like so much of life will We have so much life to live until our big announcement. No, no,

no, I mean like the big announcement's gonna change everything, so like let's just enjoy the status quo.

I love that. Before like things really pick up for us.

Before things go crazy and we're like so inaccessible.

I was so beat from modeling. I did miss the last like 20 minutes of Dancing with the Stars, so I didn't catch live Ezra's dance or the elimination. And literally I heard Ben turn off the TV and I rolled over and I was like, who got eliminated? And Ben was like, Guillermo. And I was like, What?

It's so—

Like, you think my life's a joke? Like, what are you talking about? I thought he was messing with me.

It's so upsetting.

Because I felt it was fairly obvious who was going home, even though I didn't want it. I just— Who? Like, Fibula. Because they were so mean to him. And it's like, first of all, he was one of my favorites.

No, and everybody else who was in the pool of—

Going home.

Of going home any day now stepped their pussies up. Exactly. Like, the banana went hard in the paint.

The banana went hard. The banana absolutely went hard. So did Tyler Cameron.

So did Tyler Cameron. You guys, I was— so moved by Tyler Cameron's dance that I voted for him 10 times. Usually I only vote for Guillermo and Ezra. Mm-hmm. Just because like, I just feel so strongly, like my fingers can't stop themselves. Right. But Tyler's dance was so amazing, I was like, this man cannot go home.

So we'll talk about Dancing with the Stars, but just know like I always have a hard time staying up because just like as a pregnant person. But as a pregnant person, I have a hard time staying up. But last night between the modeling and being a pregnant person, like it just overtook me and I fell asleep. So I missed, and you know what, it's for the best. the massacre of my good friend Guillermo.

It was devastating. And then also they didn't do bottom 3, they did bottom 2. And, and Fibula was not in the bottom 2, so it was between Guillermo and Tyler. And those were literally the only 2 people I voted for. And I also—

That's so you.

I also feel like maybe I contributed to Guillermo going home by voting for Tyler. You know what I mean? 'Cause otherwise Tyler would've gone home, but that's not what I want either. Yeah. I just felt like I had no good choices and like, no, I was just gonna throw a strike, but I won't.

We'll talk about it.

Throw a strike.

It should've been Julia Stiles. I know. We will talk about it. She did like the low-hanging fruit, like millennial dance. So like she wasn't going home.

I think her and Ezra were like, if not now, perhaps never.

Yeah, exactly. It was good timing for them, bought them another week. I wasn't fooled by it, but others apparently were. We will talk about Dancing with the Stars in the first story. We actually have a huge update in the Kelly Clarkson saga. The tapes have been released without audio. The security footage. Jackie was asking for CCTV, and CCTV is what we got.

We got it.

A citizen journalist broke the story. I don't know if you saw.

How did they get the footage?

The store obviously released it, which just makes me think the store is loving this. They keep going into the interview like, Kelly Clarkson put us in danger. And it's like, you're living for this, you're prolonging it now, giving the security footage, which you're the only person who have access to, to a citizen journalist on YouTube. Like,

I'm not gonna lie, I didn't watch the videos. I did. Employees like speaking.

Oh, I watched a video of Kelly interacting with the employees.

Oh, I watched the CCTV. I did not watch the guy.

Oh, I did.

Was like, uh, the owner of this.

As predicted, like sassy. I saw somebody and a person who said this was gay, so like I can— I'm just repeating what they said, like classic evil gay. Classic evil gay. Like, just— and you could see it in the body language of the video too. Like, I was cracking up. Um, the story just like seriously keeps getting better, and I do feel like Kelly—

Maybe I will watch it.

Yeah, I think Kelly is gonna come out on the other side like unscathed.

Yeah, so far. And everyone commented yesterday, Kelly's not being canceled.

Good, good.

We stan with Kelly.

Always and forever.

And I think it's gonna be fine for Kelly. I'm not worried about her.

Okay, good. I mean, she's like undeterred promoting The Voice.

This is The Voice. It

was on last night. She brought in, um, my, my in-laws love The Voice, and so like they're like, are you watching Patti LaBelle? I forget who it was, like someone major was on last night. I must have missed it.

Not Patti LaBelle?

It might have been Patti LaBelle.

Patti LuPone?

No, I think it was Patti LaBelle.

Not Patti LuPone from Straight from the Ship?

I won't know who is who. Like, you know, I could see a picture, I'd say, oh, that's Patti LaBelle Pone. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. You know?

I think they look different.

I think they do too. I think one's Black.

I think so too.

And one is white.

I think so too.

I think LuPone is Black.

No, I think LuPone is white.

No. Oh wait, actually, LuPone is like a Barbra Streisand-y vibe, right? I think LuPone— one is Jew. One is a Jew.

I think LuPone is the Jew then. Patti LuPone. And she was the one on the cruise ship that was turned away, the gay cruise, right?

Oh, she's classic, yeah. Oh no, she's the one who stopped the performance 'cause somebody's phone rang. Remember? She was like on Broadway. That's like what she's known for. Oh, and then Patti LuPone. And then Patti LuPone is who performed at Ariana Grande's 16th birthday party. birthday party and Keke Palmer was gagged.

Patti LaBelle.

That's Patti LaBelle. Okay, I'm so glad we cleared that up. It's kind of like Chris Pine and Chris Hemsworth and Chris Armstrong and

Chris—

Ashtray.

What's the other Chris?

Pine, Hemsworth, Evans. Why do they hate him?

Guardians of the Galaxy Chris.

Pratt, of course.

Everybody else hates him. I don't hate Chris Pratt.

Remember when he was getting canceled for like buying a house and renovating it? Like As is his—

he can't breathe. Yeah. Without people wanting to cancel him. He can't tell his wife she looks beautiful without being canceled.

He can't call his son healthy.

No, he can't be excited about the birth of his child without being canceled.

I did wanna speak directly to our Dear Toasters community. Obviously yesterday was like a Monday type of Tuesday devastation, catastrophic episode. And I hate to disappoint, today will also be a catastrophic episode because we have Dancing with the Stars and I don't wanna rush. I don't wanna rush either of them. Like,

no. And we're— the episode's gonna be so long and tomorrow's

Thursday. Like, and you know what, what I'm proposing— another, you know, Dear Toasters used to be Wednesday, and recently it's been Tuesday for like, what, 2 years? And every time it's Tuesday, it feels so inconvenient. Like, it's like the week just started. I'm proposing, especially with Dancing with the Stars, that we temporarily/permanently move Dear Toasters to Thursdays.

Makes no difference to me.

GTQ, update your calendars. Thursdays are your days, okay? Mm-hmm. We'll see how that goes. We might just need to start putting them on Saturdays. No, I'm kidding.

No, like it will be one day of the week, the one where there's the least amount of show.

Exactly. And it's like the world turns. Kelly Clarkson's putting people in danger. Like we can't predict these things. And so the DTQ, like you gotta be flexible.

Yeah.

You just gotta.

Yeah. So let's get into the story, shall we? So we can talk about Dancing with the Stars.

Yeah. Because like we're just sort of like my favorite word, pussyfooting around it. Pussyfooting in our pussy bows.

Just circling the drain.

Pussyfooting, also known, AKA pussyfooting.

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Our first Dancing with the Stars recap is our first story. Oh,

that's beautiful.

Super Bowl night sends home a fan favorite. Last night was Super Bowl night, so they were dancing to songs from Super Bowl halftime performers including Shakira, Lady Gaga, JLo, Bad Bunny, and more. The judges were joined by Joe Buck, who is a broadcaster for ESPN's Monday Night Football. The episode was very synergetic. Mm-hmm. ESPN NFL Super Bowl. The

Super Bowl will be airing on ABC, Hulu, Disney come February 14th.

The synergy was wonderful. I'm happy for all the businessmen and the show was incredible. What an amazing theme.

Yeah. I wouldn't have thought like a football-themed night would've, but it was really excellent. And even

Joe Buck, businessmen and women,

I said. Oh, the pregnant people. Even I said to Ben, I'm like, who is this guy, Joe Buck? And Ben was like, he's just like a legacy commentator. I was like, okay, that's like kind of weird. Obsessed with him. First of all, he's hot. Like, I don't think anyone was saying that, and I just felt like it needed to be said. 2, like, I love when a hot man like can't stop bringing up his wife, you know? He just wanted his wife to get as much airtime. She's a dancer, I know everything about her, I know the name of all their kids. Like, he was so sweet and so thoughtful. It's clear he like watches the show with his wife, so he knows a good amount. I love him. Like, I didn't even know this man before, and I love him. No, and they probably were just like in the

ESPN room being like, does anybody wanna be a judge on Dancing with the Stars? And he's like, well, my, my wife watches with his wife every week is like dream job. Yeah. But to anyone else it's like, no, why would we do that? But it was great that he had watched because like he was saying things that we as the fans feel like how, you know, with Ezra, like the energy in the room is amazing. That when you, you can feel it at home and you can feel it in the room so much. So definitely he was a great addition. He was giving out, you know, one score higher than everyone else and that's always fun.

Yeah. It's, it was sweet. Like everyone getting so excited about the take.

I was shocked there wasn't a tie.

You know, I thought there was gonna be also. He's very Flavor Flav. Um, I did feel, and I speak mostly for my girl Tatiana, like some people got better songs than others. And like, I feel like Tatiana's dance was like fine and good, but like, and, and, uh, was it Derek Hough who was like this? Like, it wasn't an exciting song at all. And I feel like—

Of course. But I love the song.

No, of course. And then whoever was next got like Bad Romance by Lady Gaga, which is like a song everybody knows. And it was like, it was the difference in a song and the song that you get. I really feel like it makes such a big difference in your performance. Of course.

And I think that's why the banana crushed, cuz he got to do Bruno Mars and that just writes itself.

Crowd favorite.

But I do wonder how the songs are chosen, and some people have like said they choose them at the beginning of the season, everybody knows what they're gonna dance to, but there's definitely some like connecting points where people know they're gonna dance to certain songs.

Right, Harry Shum Jr.

I have to imagine like the pro and the star have like a little bit of input in what they're dancing to. Tatiana seemed very happy to be dancing to that song.

100%, and I think she's a huge Kendrick Lamar fan.

It felt like chosen.

But in terms of like the people who watch this show, such a huge audience, like you want the hits. Like even I don't listen to any J Balvin, but like I knew that I'm

having

flashbacks. I knew the song, you know, like, I feel like you want them—

You didn't know Squabble Up?

No, I didn't. Like, I know Not Like Us, you know.

I don't know Squabble Up.

I don't. Like, I wish that they had done a bit of a more popular song. I feel like she keeps getting like, I don't know, it's like nobody wants her to win. You could tell when the network like wants someone to win. They wanted Robert Irwin to win. I feel like they literally don't care what happens to Tatiana, and it's annoying me.

I really liked her dance. Me too. I feel like they had fun. I thought it was really good. Agreed, it was like too slow for the style of dance, but like still really good. Yeah. Fine by me. All right, let's go through person by person. Maura Higgins and Mark Ballas. This is a situation actually where they had a great song, and I don't even think that it helped them. They danced to Only Girl in the World by Rihanna. They did a tango. She's beautiful, they got good scores, but it, it was probably their weakest dance. I personally felt a little bored.

I blame the neck. She looked stiff, and she was explaining that she had like a stiff neck, so.

But I also feel like she, she's a very good dancer. She's very dramatic, she's very light on her feet, she's very elegant. Can she do sexy? And, and they were saying as you get—

Not all of us can.

No. And as she gets into more of the Latin dances, like she needs to be more punctuated, but I just like wonder if she could really move it.

Yeah. Like there are a lot of dances that are like structured. Yeah.

Like just like point, drop.

Drama. Yeah. But some of it is like, you know, samba.

Lines.

Hips.

The hips don't lie.

The hips.

So she got 33 outta 40. Like she's so safe. Yeah. Not a concern.

She's fine.

Then the Savannah Bananas midfielder Jackson Olsen was fighting for his life dancing to Uptown Funk.

And I don't feel like they did a good job of explaining like how busy of a week he had. And I, I get the sense that they don't want like the audience to know that like the pros are being tortured. Like, uh, Julia Stiles and him were in New York for the week. I don't know why. Um, and this entire time Emma and Savannah Banana have been flying back and forth to Savannah every single week to rehearse. I was like, that's so much work for no reason. And it's like, you can't take one game off? And then this week was the Banana Bowl in DC. So I think they spent the whole week in DC. practicing for the bowl and for the— so I feel like they didn't really reiterate. So I think given everything that happened to him this week, and I know he's like feeling probably really defeated in his Dancing with the Stars journey. It hasn't been—

It hasn't been positive.

It hasn't been, I think, what he thought or what we thought it was gonna be.

He's just like the butt of the joke, the banana.

Yeah, I think he did an amazing job given like all the personal strife.

Every time someone goes home, that's someone's favorite.

It's like, it should've been banana! But you know what, he really proved himself last night. And shout out to Emma, it was an amazing dance. She was really like the star, like sexing it up.

No, but like it's all about the set design and the vibe, and, and she just— it was larger than life, and he kept up. He did a really good job, and he got a 31 out of 40. Derek said it was his best dance. I completely agree.

Same. I'm not gonna go too deep into like the scores, 'cause like, yeah, Maura getting the same score as like Savannah, getting the same score as Maura, like—

No, but they didn't. He got 31, she got 33.

Okay, I just felt like now I can't get too in the weeds on the scoring, 'cause when you compare them, people are being scored on a curve, on their own.

'Cause people were saying, how did—

Amber.

No, they were saying one of Carrie Ann's. Carrie Ann gave Amber an 8, and she also gave Tyler an 8. But that dance was an 8 for Tyler.

For Tyler, right. So I can't really compare 'cause I'll get annoyed.

She's never beating those sexist claims.

I know, fibula, like.

Next we have Amber Glenn and Pasha Pashkov. They danced to Mi Gente by J Balvin.

love that song. Like, I did not— I have not felt one emotion. Like, if you hooked me up to a heart rate monitor, it would just go beep beep. Amber just like doesn't do it for me. I know everyone's obsessed with her, and this dance was really good, like the flag waving and then the split. I thought, you know, she moved the needle for me.

The needle was not moved for me.

Okay.

Um, but they're great dancers and they have no chemistry, and they'll get by until like we need to start to feel something.

Yeah, and I also was seeing that like she is technically in competition, um, and she would like— they all go live all the time, and I saw a live where she was like, no, I'll be there for the second half of the competition, which is like while Dancing with the Stars is still airing. So I do believe she has like a certain time that she can be on the show until, and then she will have to go home.

Oh, and then everyone can act like it was like because of that. But she's not winning because there's just no emotion between the two of them.

No, it's like actually awkward.

It's very awkward.

And it's awkward that they have to like dance so close and intimately. Because like, I don't even know if they like each other.

They don't even pretend like they have a friendship. I

know, you know what I mean?

In the packages and stuff.

I appreciate that. Like, at least we're not pretending.

Yeah. Then Tyler Cameron and Sharna Burgess. He's another one who is perpetually on the chopping block along with Banana, Guillermo, and Fibula. They dance to the Time, like Time of My Life by Black Eyed Peas. It's like a, they sample.

In Tribulation, whatever it's called.

They sample.

Yeah. I loved this for a billion reasons. One, because Tyler has like a big connection to that movie. 'Cause he did the lift. He was on that show, which was like a dancing competition about Dirty Dancing. So he's like the Dirty Dancing guy. He did the lift, which like iconic.

And the judges said last week he reminds them of Patrick Swayze. Oh,

I love that. It was such a good dance. It was so fun and just like not serious and like cheerleader football. It's very American.

Nobody else was so literal with the theme. But I, I loved it. You either lost to— No, it was literal. He's— and he is the football player.

True. I thought that was interesting that he said like, I really could have had a career in football, I just like didn't care. Like I was partying in college. I didn't know that about him.

That, that he—

That he was like legit good.

Oh yeah, yeah. But I didn't know that—

He just sort of like was like a teenager.

That he wasn't trying.

Yeah, right. We've all been there. I love Tyler. Like, never go home. I was compelled to vote for him. Because it was such a good dance. And I was texting you this because obviously you can't talk about Dancing with the Stars without talking about the weirdness of being with an opposite gender. You're like always hugging and shit and just like being fucking weird, even like the gestures. And I don't know why I feel like Tyler does it in such a respectful way. I never once think like that, even like when you get so close in the dance, they maintain a respectful distance. Yeah, they do. They keep 6 feet for Jesus, you know? Really? For

Tate,

literally. I really respect that. Like, there's— I— when I see them, like, even when they're holding hands, like, getting their, um, scores, it's never weird. Like, yeah, I'm sorry, Val and Jenna are weird. Like, everyone's weird.

Yeah,

they are. You'll never convince me that it's normal.

You have to watch Maxima and Merrill.

Okay.

Like, it was crazy.

Okay.

Next we have Connor Wood and Riley Arnold. They danced to Hips Don't Lie. They both wore the samba pants.

I, I just loved this. I couldn't believe that he got like such negative critiques and scores. Like, it does feel like every season they sort of pick on someone like just unnecessarily, whereas like other people get away with the same thing. Like Jen Affleck, like they're just like so unnecessarily hard on her. Um, I was cracking up at the dance, like seriously, like the pulling off the pants and then like the shaking of the ass. It was kind of giving Guillermo. And now that Guillermo's gone, I do feel like Connor does have potential to sort of fill that role of like being the entertaining dancer. Because I don't even remember like if the dance was, you know, technically good. I just know I was cracking up.

It was hard to know because he was wearing the pants, but I did have a sense that it was not. And then the judges confirmed that,

that it wasn't technically sound.

No, it was not. He got 25 as a score, which is low. And I don't— and maybe you have your fibula goggles on.

I do.

But I don't, and I don't feel like the judges are picking on him. I feel like—

Oh, they totally are.

I feel like everybody really likes him.

Oh my God, no. I feel like they're so unnecessarily hard. I'm sorry, 25? The dance wasn't that much worse technically than like Tyler or Savannah.

No, I, I feel like—

And at least he was doing the samba. A lot of times I feel like Savannah was really good, but he wasn't doing—

Savannah and Tyler today did their dance, like they did choreography, as did Connor. You can't—

No, I mean like the You do choreography, but like sometimes there's not enough samba in the samba or not enough cha-cha in the cha-cha. And I feel like there was a lot of samba. I just feel like everyone's being really hard on him.

I feel like your goggles are off.

I'm telling you I'm not. Like, they're being like so unnecessarily critical.

Yeah, but I think he gets a lot of fan votes. I think the story of him and Riley is really cute and I'm not worried about him. And he got really bad scores until like last night. He was really vulnerable.

I thought he was going home.

But he survived and I think it will continue to get better. Like, that was a low point, but he made it through. So we're good.

We're good.

It's not like cumulative scores.

No, no, no, but like, I don't know really what more he could be doing. That's the thing. I think he like works really hard at it. This is not even remotely like a natural inclination for him. So I worry that like all the practice in the world won't help.

Yeah, I agree with that. Well, I don't know. I feel like he's close and he's getting better. I thought it was great. And it's looking smoother. The pants helped.

Well, the pants always help.

Then we have Julia Stiles and Ezra Sosa. They danced to Jenny from the Block and they, you know, brought in some of her choreography from Save the Last Dance.

And the actor from Save the Last Dance, he was like standing in the back. So this is an instance where like, I just feel like you have such a good song.

I know this is the wrong movie, but I think we just got served.

LOL, okay.

I miss that.

The song gave them such a leg up, and that's where I feel like seriously the music is so important. And yeah, I was waiting for when they were gonna start like, you know, doing the dance when she's standing on the table in 10 Things I Hate About You. Like she has a couple of iconic movie moments that relate to dance, And I felt like the fact that they pulled one out kind of early means like, I feel like she's really been stinking it up and like not doing what I thought she would do. The dance was like, I was not moved by it, but it was good. Like I just like—

Yeah, it was fine. She's not worthy of going home. But I also feel like as much as you expect, oh, it's Julie Stiles and there's a lot of lore, I feel like she's struggling to connect with the audience a little bit.

At least me. Like I— Yeah, me too.

Struggling. And I'm willing because one person who I didn't connect with for a while, But I do feel is really trying to connect is Jenna Dewan.

Like, I'm so unmoved by her. Like—

We'll get to her. Then we have Tatiana Ali and Mihaly Rovnik. They danced to Squabble Up by Kendrick Lamar. Um, 29 out of 40. That felt low because they were so good. And I just want to say about her, of course, you know, she's in the Dancing with the Stars program. She's looking trim.

Yeah, she is. She's getting that glow up.

She looks like she's been aging backwards. When I was watching her last night, I felt like I was watching a youngster. And like, I feel like her first week dance, I very much was like— and it was all about like her being a mama and just like feeling like she's changed and whatnot. And I was just like, she's ageless.

Yeah, she looks amazing. I follow her on TikTok and like, she's, she's really playing the game. I don't know how active she was on TikTok before this. I don't think it was very, but like once you get in the Dancing with the Stars cycle, like you become a TikToker. And her body looks insane. She— I feel like she's taking this so seriously. And I don't know why, I just feel like she has like no support within the show. Do you know what I mean?

Like, it might still be a Yan thing.

People love Yawn. Like, I don't know why I feel like the dance was good and the song was wrong for it. And I wish she had gotten like a more mainstream song like Jenny from the Block or Only Girl in the World. Like,

also, no, but for salsa, neither of those songs would be good. We do need something upbeat. Sure. Like, why didn't anyone pick Katy Perry?

Where was Roar by Katy Perry? I was literally waiting for it.

Roar is too slow also.

Maybe, you know, they could jazz it up. Firework? What about a Viennese waltz to Roar? Yeah, like, I don't know, I just feel like sometimes there are things you could tell when like the network really likes someone or like was trying to. And I don't know, I feel like they give her no support and she's doing really well given the fact that like literally I think people forget that she's there when she's literally my number one.

I feel like people forget that she's there. It's sort of like working to her advantage right now because she's not on the chopping block. That's true. But like let them forget and then when it's time, I think she's gonna really surprise people.

I would love that arc for her.

She's sort of like middling, like, you know, playing it cool under the radar. You know, the big fish get poached.

But her, like, her scores are low.

Yeah, that's a low 29.

It was not 29.

Maybe we have Tatiana goggles on.

I don't. I know I don't. 'Cause I didn't even really know her before. Like, I'm just really basing this like a meritocracy.

It's true. It's crazy how my faves are people whose names I did not know when the cast was announced.

Ezra.

Ezra. So it just goes to show

it's all based, based on talent.

It's, yeah, it's based on merit.

1,000%.

Speaking of merit, Guillermo Rodriguez and Whitney Carson danced to Titi Me Pregunto by Bad Bunny. I think this was their best dance of the whole season, both technically, as the judges said, he was dancing. Mm-hmm. He was doing steps. I thought the setting was so good. The song was so good. They really, it was a huge moment.

Insane.

Whitney was amazing as she always is. And for them to go home this week really hurts because I felt like they did so amazing.

Yeah, I— part of me like felt relief for Whitney. Like, I'm sure—

I don't know how she feels, but I, I feel like— I'm

sure she would have went on if she wanted to.

More so than being pregnant, I think she just like wants to be home with her kids.

Yeah, it's a lot. Yeah. And it was gonna happen eventually, so like, sure, whatever. That's my king. He will be missed dearly.

This was an iconic Run.

And I am looking forward to like the most annoying people you've ever met like having something else to talk about. 'Cause like I'm personally sick of like, Guillermo didn't even— like shut up! Like some of these fans like forget that we're watching a show. This is fun! We're supposed to be having fun. And like you guys getting so fucking technical about Guillermo's footwork. Like seriously, take that footwork and shove it up your ass. Nobody cares.

And acting like it's because he's a man that like he continues to stay. 'Cause like— and it's not that. Like give me an old lady. Give me a hardworking old lady.

Give me an old out-of-shape woman and I will prop her up more than I've ever propped As long as she's

entertaining me, trying

hard, making me laugh, making

jokes. Yeah, 1,000%.

No, and it's just like, maybe I feel like ABC was like tired of these whiny bitches.

Yeah. And every— and if someone else went home, then it's gonna be like, but what about Guillermo? And like, I agreed, they were probably tired of it, even though I think it's a meritocracy still. I don't think they rigged the votes. So it just means that between scores and votes, he's not getting as many votes as he used to.

I don't know. I follow Pop Culture Data, which is like really one of my favorite accounts, and they do a lot of content around Dancing with the Stars, and they do like who's on the chopping block based on, you know, follower growth, YouTube views. And they had said Tyler was on the chopping block just based on, um, like numbers. Guillermo's literally the most viewed on every week. And Whitney actually commented on one of the TikToks being like, yes, this stuff actually really matters because like people are coming for her and it's like, this is a TV show. Like, you guys are forgetting we're supposed to be entertained. So it's like, yeah, when everybody else's dances have like 100,000 views on YouTube and Guillermo's has almost a million, like The network's gonna pay attention. Guillermo. Guillermo, like, I'm sure he's so relieved. He's so tired. He said he's going home and having a margarita. Like, I'm sure he's like thrilled with how this run went for him. Honestly, it could not have went any better.

I could've used like one more week just because I felt like last night he was a shoo-in. Like, he actually did a good job. Their dance was amazing. Like, it was, and it was of course like one of the most entertaining of the night.

Yeah.

And I'll just miss them.

Hopefully, like, and there were a lot of stars in the audience, but hopefully he like continues to show up and become a part of the family. Like, he is like an ABC employee.

Yeah, he is. He is. Justin Baldoni was there last night.

For who? I think Dewan.

For Jenna Dewan. Yes, yes, yes.

And you know, every time I say her name, I almost call her Jenna Dewan Tatum, but that's not her name. No, it hasn't been. It hasn't been her name.

Jenna Dewan Kazee.

Oh, right. Yeah. Um, they were there, I think, for Jenna Dewan.

Yeah, they were, because I saw a video of her when she like saw that. Yeah, I saw that too. So flattered. Also, I just want to say, for Guillermo, I was voting for Whitney as much as I was voting for Guillermo. Like, it was about the story the two of them were telling. Yeah. Yeah. And I just think they were— actually, it's too soon. It was not their time is how I feel.

I, I, I don't disagree.

One more week. Like, one more week.

Yeah, it was happening regardless. So like, whatever.

The show will never be as joyous to watch.

No, and I am looking forward to like not ever having to hear about this ever again, cuz like seriously, people are so annoying. But we love you, Guillermo. Like, thank you for the joy and the laughter.

Thank you, Whitney. Did

you see everybody, um, like putting Guillermo on their shoulders and chanting after the show ended? In the ballroom. Guillermo.

No, wait. Also, did you hear in the opening scene when they, the, they were doing all those like football dances, there was someone screaming in the camera. Like it must've been someone behind the cameraman.

No, but the cameraman like was drunk.

There was screams coming through and I like, I was watching the beginning of the show in my living room where we have like surround sound. Mm-hmm. Maybe I just heard more.

Maybe

the screaming.

That's hilarious. I didn't hear that. I didn't hear, but I did see the cameraman like laying on his back and looking up at the ceiling a couple of times.

That's funny. Then we have Jenna Dewan and Myles Chmerkovskiy. They danced to Bad Romance. It was a paso doble, and they got a 36 out of 40.

I thought she was gonna get a 10.

Straight 9s. The dance was perfection.

It was. Like, I can hold space for the fact that it was a perfect dance that I didn't care about.

No, I cared. She did amazing. She's working so hard. She's also, I feel like she's opened up in her packages about how everybody hates her and that's hard for her.

And by the way, it is hard for her.

And Harry Shum Jr. hasn't done that yet.

Do you think maybe he doesn't know that everyone hates him? Like,

and it's like, they're— her and Val are in this impossible, like, place. And everybody's, like, hating Val too. Her dances are amazing, but how do we get people to care? Like, we don't. And she's just, like, improving. She's working really hard. Just like, it was a Jordan Fisher moment, and that's what I like to see.

Yeah, I just, I just don't care.

No, I didn't care, and now I, I, I really thought it was great. Like, it was It was actually stunning.

Her and Harry both went at the end.

Yes. Well, Ezra was last. Then we have Harry. He danced to Yeah by Usher. Oh, they got 33 out of 40. The judges sort of hated this dance. They said that it wasn't like a ballroom dance. It would've been a great halftime show.

There was a lot of like hip-hop moves. Julia Stiles, her whole dance was like low-key not ballroom. Mm-hmm. Um, they do also like have it out for Jenna.

Jenna Johnson.

Yeah, then the Jenna Johnson v. Carrie Ann argument about what is defined as a lift.

Well, yeah, because I guess they did a samba, and perhaps in a samba there's not supposed to be a lift in a samba. And then Carrie Ann said, and there was a lift, and Jenna was like, there's a lift? And Carrie Ann was like, yeah, there was a lift.

Anytime someone's feet are technically off the ground, like, that's considered a lift.

There was a lift. Yeah. The background dancers like lifted up Harry Shum, he did a backflip. And then Jenna said in her post-interview, like, I thought lift meant like between partners.

So they both kind of agree. Yeah.

No, no, no. Like there was a lift. And if you're gonna really operate at that level, like you wanna be an— you're coming on here as a professional dancer. Well, we're gonna critique you as one.

Yeah. I also just don't really care about him. Like, sorry that happened to you.

Yeah. And I do agree. Like it felt like he was doing a halftime show.

Yeah. And by the way, I think giving him an Usher song was an amazing, um, choice.

Like, but it, but he, he didn't do ballroom. He didn't do ballroom.

Neither did Julia Stiles.

If you're going to come on this show as a professional dancer, Harry Shum, you—

But he really maintains that he's not.

He maintains his innocence. Even though he was in the Mariah Carey video, we are going to judge you as a professional dancer.

Yeah.

And professional dancer, you did a halftime show, not a ballroom dance.

Was it a lift? Was it not a lift? I don't care.

It was definitely a lift. Um, it just was like awkward that she had to dunk on him.

I feel like it was more of a stunt, like—

Feet were off the ground. Right. It was just awkward that Kyrie then had to like read off the thing and dunk on her. But yeah, she's not gonna be called a liar.

Yeah, I do appreciate— she takes a lot of heat, but like, Carrie Ann gives like not a singular fuck.

And even though I don't always agree with her— Same. I appreciate that. I appreciate—

I respect her commitment to like saying how she feels regardless if she's gonna get booed online or in person.

And what's interesting is that her and Derek's scores are usually the same, which means like that's the score, you know? Joe—

Joe Buck, you mean

Bruno? Oh, God.

Yeah, and Bruno.

That's our friend.

Bruno told me no.

Joe's going off the rails and Bruno's a little bit— In his own world. He always does his own thing, but the two of them of them and we score the same, and they score independent of each other, and they lock their scores in before they give their oral critique. So that's really the score. They know what they're saying.

Yeah, no, and I trust them. Like, they know what they're talking about.

Yeah. Then we had Ezra Frech and Daniela Karagash. They danced to Hot in Here by Nelly.

Great song.

And it was so amazing. What a guy.

What a gal.

I was this close last night to like— Ezra's my number one. I want him to win the mirrorball. But last night I was like, you know what, I I, I— Guillermo. Like, Guillermo should win the mirrorball if Ezra fucks up one time. Like, I'm putting Guillermo all in, all in on Guillermo. Unfortunately,

the universe handled that for you.

I was conflicted.

Ezra is the winner. Like, I do feel like we can end the show.

No, because I want to see more dancing.

No, of course, but it doesn't even feel like there's one singular person who's on his— I guess like Jenna Dewan, but she has No fans.

Maura.

She's really good, but she, she'll be like maybe top 4, but I don't think—

So I think top 4 will be Maura, Ezra, Jenna Dewan, and then we're gonna have like a, um, a surprise. A surprise meaning like Tatiana, you know?

Give it to my girl Tatiana. I dare you.

Yeah, one slip up from Harry Sheehan and he's gone. You know what I mean? That's like one bad night.

When you don't have a lot of fans— That's what happened to Hilaria. Yeah, even B-roll. like his controversial, you know, him being here being controversial, he doesn't have a lot of fans. Like, he's a successful actor, but that doesn't get people to like whip out their phones and dial 21523. So it's sort of like you're one fuck-up away from going home just because you don't get any fan votes. And then if you also don't get the judges' votes,

you're up on the chopping

block.

Yeah. One wrong move, Harry Shum, it's over. Over. So that was Dancing with the Stars. Amazing theme. Amazing theme. Like, seriously gonna be hard to top it. Good luck to everyone.

But we have Disney Night still, which is always a good night.

Next week is Dedication Night.

Is that the threesome night or you just dedicate?

I think it's threesome night.

'Cause there's 2, there's like Dedication Night and—

No, I think it's threesomes. It's the same.

Okay.

And I actually saw like an interview with Tyler Cameron. It was just about like his sort of like State of the Union on Tyler Cameron. And he was saying how he's so excited to do Dancing with the Stars and it's the best show on television. And like for him, like the goal is to get to Dedication Night 'cause he obviously wants to dedicate it to his mom. She's such a big fan of the show. And that's been like the north star. So I'm so glad he didn't get eliminated last night.

I'm gonna cry. I thought you were gonna say dedicated to Tate. I just love them too. Every time they touch her, she's crying. Like, she is having the time of her life.

No, the emotions on Dancing with the Stars are very real. You're just on another planet.

It's true.

Yeah.

Who would you dedicate it to?

Well, a few, of course. And then we would have our threesome dance.

Me, you, and Ben. Me? Sorry, me, you, and Maxim. Yeah, we'd do like a grind line.

Who would you dedicate it to? Ben?

Yeah.

That's crazy.

Only because I think it would curry me more like votes. Like, oh, so sweet.

But I guess you already get the toast votes.

Yeah, of course. And it's like, I'm being strategic here. Like, first of all, like everyone just like loves Ben. Like he does nothing and they're like, that was so funny. Um, so I would like, I think people would just be really like drawn to his energy. And then I will have milked you up until that point.

At other points.

And they're gonna be like, oh, this girl with her sister again. Does she know anyone else?

Does she have other sisters?

Right.

And we would be talking about it on, Like, or if they would let me do

like my whole sisters, all 4.

I think they might.

If they would let me do that, I still think people would be like, this girl like needs a life outside of her sisters.

You wanna let them know that you're married.

Yeah.

And that you're a pregnant person.

And that like Ben, like Ben would be funny, you know?

Yeah. No, I understand your reasons.

Yeah.

But it's just sad, like awkward for me, even though it's not. Even though it's not. Are you ready for our next story? Yeah. Um, are you feel, you feel okay to move on from Ruidus?

As a pregnant person, I do. Yeah, sometimes I do just find myself saying a pregnant person.

I know, but it makes no sense.

No, not only does it make no sense, like, it's offensive to me.

It's offensive to women.

Yeah, I need to stop. But like, I'm not even— like, I'm saying it now like as a joke, but when I first said it, like, I think I said it for real.

I know. I— well, I think like probably people throughout history before we've entered this climate, people throughout history probably said like pregnant person and they didn't think, whoa,

right? It's actually pregnant woman. But it's like, it is pregnant woman.

It does sort of like roll off the tongue, but then like you do check yourself, like, why did I say that? You know, I also am a

sucker for alliteration.

Yeah. Our next story, Kelly Clarkson versus Art of Play, day 2. The

footage has been released.

Footage has been revealed of the singer's visit to Brooklyn novelty store where she was slammed, um, where she— that she slammed for the Pretty Woman treatment. So footage of Kelly visiting Art of Play has been acquired and released by Pablo Torre, the host and executive editor of the investigative podcast Pablo Torre Finds The video offers another perspective to the ongoing drama between Clarkson and Art.

There's no audio, so it's like very hard to pull from this. I think that there are 2 main takeaways. One, which I think a lot of us assumed, like Kelly showed up looking like a housefrau.

Yeah, I saw— yeah, it's what we guessed. Midwestern tourist.

Midwestern tourist. A baseball cap, a bright yellow t-shirt, and a backpack. Okay, like she looked homely. Okay.

No, not even. I actually don't think a housefrau would wear that. She looked actually like a tourist.

Yes, yes, yes.

Like, 'cause you could go in your Hill House snap dress and be treated with more dignity than, God forbid, you're from the Midwest.

And then the second takeaway was, and I'm obviously not a body language expert, but watching her interact with that sales associate who was like holding a cup of coffee, leaning his elbow and like slanted, he looked like, I'm sorry, maybe I'm reading too much into it, but he was obviously an asshole.

Yeah, also this article says— so I didn't see it that way— she entered with her children.

I saw that she was with her son.

She was with a child.

A child and another woman.

That's even more fucked up.

And I also want to say one other thing because I watched the interview with the owner who said that Kelly Clarkson is in danger, and he's like, I would love for Kelly to come back, and like, if she sees something, we can like— and you know, we can offer her something more comparable. And it's like, what kind of store is this where it's like nothing's for sale? Like, he said it again, he was And we'll find her something comparable. Is it a showroom? Like, what is this store? Why is everything that you have out on the showroom floor not for sale?

So I think that's the point of the store and why she journeyed there. It's 'cause it's not like other stores and it's an interactive place and you pick something up, but you play with it and you leave. It's like a live—

You go and build a model.

I think it's like a library, but for play.

And they have like magic shows there. And he was like, I would love for her to come see a show. Yeah. Right. Like she's—

It's getting freaky.

Yeah. No, no, no. These people are like, they're being so victimy, you know, like we're a small business and she put us in danger. But they're living for it. Because like, if you really are in danger, like you don't want people coming to your store anymore, you're not releasing the tapes. Which, by the way, vindicate nobody. Like, we're all just guessing here.

I also want to say I think it's appalling that they were disrespectful to her, period. Of course, treat everyone with kindness. Of course. But also while she had her child with her, and then she went out and she rage tweeted again.

Wait, by the way, it's funny because at the timestamp you see like her tweet goes out like 8 minutes later and her foot is not even out the door of the store and she whips out her phone.

And then Pablo adds, pulling up to me.

She probably like spent the next 10 minutes like cultivating it.

No, I think it's, it's even grosser that there was a child. So you weren't like accommodating and like, like you were rude to like this person's parent. And it's worse that there was a child. And it's interesting that she didn't mention that she brought her children because I feel like then we would've been like, oh,

that's an easy way.

It's an easy way to be a victim. Like, oh,

well now what are we gonna say? She said she was a victim. Yeah.

And I think I might've like judged her if she was like in front of my child, I'd be like, okay. Okay. But I, even more credit to her to like know that it was in front of her child. She didn't even use that to score points.

She didn't use him as a human shield.

No. Like she didn't use him to score points.

It's true.

But that's really, really nasty that like someone came in to buy something with a child and like you made them feel so disrespected that they walked right out.

And let's talk to a body language expert because I wanna say, I don't, I've actually never worked the floor in retail, but I imagine like leaning on the counter, like you're at the spa drinking a hot cup of coffee, talking to a person who's like very eager. Like it was so as the person said, like classic evil gay. Like, just like so— you could tell he's just standing there like judging it, you know? Of course we're all just like making shit up based on this video with no audio.

I didn't get anything from the video, but just like all the context clues and just like me inferring, like, I think everything that she said is exactly what happened and that's how she felt. I think they made her feel like dirt.

1,000%.

Truly.

Kelly, your feelings are valid.

They are.

1,000%.

And honestly, I'm glad she called them out.

Me too.

Because like, say that happened, like, what are you supposed to do with all that rage?

I mean, so, and like I said yesterday, like, sometimes you just can't get over something, you know? Yeah. Like, days go by and you're just like still so mad. Sometimes you gotta rage tweet.

Yeah.

I feel better.

Yeah.

I'm sure she does too.

Yeah, maybe I'll rage tweet more.

And the owner of the store just like lying and then like telling Kelly to come back and doing interviews and sending his CCTV footage. Like, he's so thirsty.

No, it's like you, and you paid Picked the wrong girl. Truly the world's worst person to do this to. And so I think when she did tweet, she set out to speak for everyone, and we were like, okay, Kelly, like, please, you know, you're not everyone. You actually are a celebrity. And like, you're

right,

as much as you— we like you because you're relatable, like, you're not. Um, but I feel like she actually— I understand the mission.

Of course.

I feel like she was really speaking for everyone.

As she always does.

So I don't know why I even doubted her for a second and why my original take, had they not responded, would have been like critical of

her. Yeah, right. Just because like any time a celebrity uses their platform to like yell at a company, big or small, like I just don't like it. It's a trope I personally find unattractive. That's why.

Okay, but maybe there's a time and a place.

Well, of course the time is Art of Play. The place is Brooklyn, New York.

Speaking of Brooklyn, are you ready for our next story?

The Girls reboot?

Girls reboot. Lena Dunham sets a revival at HBO with Allison Janney. Allison Williams, Zosia Mamet, and Jemima Kirke returning. So HBO has greenlit a revival of Girls, Lena Dunham's beloved and controversial dramedy. The series will return for a limited 5-episode run with production beginning in 2027, which is one decade after the season 6 finale.

Oh, um, in addition to the 4 swirlies returning, Elijah's returning, which is—

Andrew Rannells will be reprising the role of Elijah Krenz, which is utterly important.

Oh my God, because if he wasn't available or down, like, shut the whole thing down. I rewatched Girls. I watched Girls like when it was on, and I liked it just as much as everyone else. Obviously I thought like some parts were weird and gross. I rewatched it in postpartum. Ben had never seen it, and like I did with fresh eyes like realize— maybe it took me like, you know, hindsight— it isn't a really like amazing show. And it was really well written. I don't think it was like really written for me. Like, I wasn't like— it's for like alt people. Like, it's very quirky, and I was more obvious. If I'm watching a show with 4 women, they're living in Manhattan, it's Sex and the City. But some people go to Brooklyn.

Some people don't.

Some people shouldn't. If you watch the show, just like the writing, it is really brilliant. I don't know if that means it needs a re-whatever.

Well, yeah, what's the point of a limited 5-episode run?

Maybe just for fun, I don't know. But I can't really— I

thought we were gonna get a Girls movie.

That would've been good. I can't really think of a show that rebooted in any capacity, not like Friends reunion, but like made more episodes. I'm sure Sarah Jessica Parker is calling her and being like, girl, don't do it. Like, why?

Yeah, that's how I feel. Though Lena Dunham is really talented, and I think like she's the common denominator and like the common thread from the original Girls to this one. So like, it will be— why wouldn't it be?

But Sex and the City, like, and Just Like That was really all the same people

behind the scenes.

Yes.

Why was it so bad?

I don't know, because like some things just can't be. And I just like—

I think, I think Sex and the City, I think in Just Like That, they were trying to give the audience what they thought they wanted, like what they think a show looks like today. I think with Girls, it really comes from Lena Dunham. And so So she's not writing for anyone else, it's just her stream of consciousness, which is what Girls was, and that's why this reboot will be more in line, and it's not like, oh, we're trying to target this audience and let's write a script for 2026.

No, and Girls has had a real resurgence. I think it's just aged really well. It was obviously popular at the time, it won every—

It was also probably ahead of its time.

Absolutely, and so now it's with a whole new generation of people, and it has aged really well, and I think it makes her look really good when you go back. Even me, I'm such a hater of hers, You really can't deny how talented she is when you watch the show. And it's like, you know what, kind of let your legacy be a little bit. Leave them wanting more. Although, you know, I can't judge until I see it.

I agree. Even if it's good, is it even good if it's just 5 episodes? Who cares?

Yeah, I guess if you really, really care about the characters, it'll be fun to see what they're up to in 10 years. But it could also ruin the magic.

Yeah. There were some funny bits, but it's not really for me.

No, no, no. It was never meant to be for you.

Pick your jaws up off the floor. It wasn't really for me. But cute, you know, just like fun and buzzy. And

I think people are very excited about this. And for those people, like, I'm excited for you.

Yeah. I wish you had more than 5 episodes, but okay. But I guess if it does well, then there's probably room for more.

Yeah.

I think everybody's available. Are you ready for our next story?

If it's the next story that's brought to you by Macy's.

Oh, it is.

I don't know who needs to hear this, but like, it is the middle of October. So holiday season.

It's time to shop, you guys.

If you wanna be prepared, like, it's, it's time. We're getting in there. And I think that when it comes to shopping for all the different people in your life, it can be very challenging going to a million stores, sweating at the mall. What if I told you you could just shop at one place?

Like one department store that has multiple departments for him.

A beauty enthusiast.

Like me.

A trendsetter, a jewelry lover, a home cook, a man, a woman, a child.

A person.

A pregnant person. Macy's is the place to go if you wanna shop online or in store. Just make your life so easy. Do it at Macy's. Like, let me tell you, my sister here, Glamazon, I know what I'm getting you. Like makeup. I know you love that Buxom lip liner.

I can't put it down. They sell my favorite lip liner. So if you just wanna crush it, if you get me for Secret Santa, mm-hmm, just get me my favorite lip liner.

As a pregnant person, like if you're shopping for me, I would be looking for like more one-size-fits-all, like things I can always wear no matter what happens in the next year or two.

A robe.

A sunglass. Oh, I like that. A nice pair of Celine sunglasses.

They have brand designers.

Brand name, they have high-end, whatever your budget is. They have high budget, low budget. They're gonna get you in and get you out. And let me tell you about the people that work at Macy's, 'cause I told you guys this last week. I had like sort of a, sort of like an amazing experience in the hosiery department. And I think that like—

It's rare.

God's toughest soldiers are sent to work at the Macy's hosiery department, 'cause that's where real women shop. You know, when you're looking for undies, bras, pajamas, intimates, lingerie, Spanx, things for a wedding, a girdle, you know, a special girdle. Let me tell you, this woman took one look at me and she told me exactly what I needed. I was saying I was looking for bras that, like, you know, were a little bit soft and still supportive. It was amazing. I had an amazing in-store experience. You'll have an amazing online experience. They carry such amazing brands. They've got cashmere sweaters, they've got jewelry, they've got outer— like, if you're spending the holidays in New York and you need an outer layer like a Pargi puffer, Mm-hmm. They've got you covered. You can literally go into the store and shop for anything. If you have a person who's like a big homemaker and is decorating her shelves, maybe you want to get them something for the holidays from Macy's. For a cook, for a baker, someone who has a sweet tooth, someone who's hosting, they really have everything.

You know what's always a good gift? What? Bowls. Everybody needs bowls.

I love that. They do have bowls at Macy's.

They have beautiful bowls. If you ever don't know what to get me, get me a beautiful bowl.

They also have really good— like, I'm like, I feel like people are always buying me games. Like, I've been given like really nice like poker sets. They have like— if you're a person who's like really into games, of course, like for kids, like they have like Nintendo and stuff. But I love like a Pargy backgammon set, you know? They have a lot. I'm telling you, they have everything covered. You really don't need to shop anywhere else but Macy's this holiday season. So check them out in store. They've got cozy things. Of course you have to pick something up for yourself, maybe a pair of slippers, a robe, a nice blanket, like of course a diamond necklace. I won't tell you what to do. Um, they've got cozy gifts for the holiday season. Check out Macy's online gift guides for even more ideas. If you're just sort of like at a place where you can't figure out what to get, the gift guides are super, super helpful. So check out Macy's in store and online to get started. Today. Today's episode is also brought to you by Fashion Pass. You know, we've been Fashion Pass girlies for quite a long time, maybe like since 2020.

So in case you don't know or you don't remember, Fashion Pass is a clothing rental service, and what sets them apart is that they actually have cute clothes, which I feel should be a baseline for all clothing rental services, but unfortunately it's not. So it can be really hard to find, um, with other clothing rental services clothes that are in stock in your size, but with Fashion Pass you will not have that problem. The clothes come in like-new condition. It feels like you're just shopping on your favorite retail It's also a toaster-run, toaster-owned organization, which we love. They have the Pargiest brands like Farm Rio, Show Me Your Mumu, For Love and Lemons, Free People— things we are actively shopping and don't really want to pay full retail for. So many of their new arrivals for fall right now are so cute, and there's stuff that's like actually being sold on Revolve. Like, it's really— it's Pargie stuff. Very versatile. You get statement pieces, wedding guest dresses, work stuff, vacation stuff. It's just so good to have a running subscription. So the best part is that you get 10 items a month for $125, 2 shipments of 5 items each.

You could swap out your picks. You're not stuck with the same items all month long. There's no planning your life a month in advance. It's literally— it works out to $12.50 an item, which is insane. Not to mention, it's a better deal than any other rental service out there. And those other rental services are giving you like literally clothing your grandmother wore. I'm sorry, like it's unacceptable, the offerings. Go to fashionpass.com right now, use code Toast to get your first month of Fashion Pass for just $39. It's the best discount out there, so all of our cardboard cadets should run to Today's episode is also brought to you by Wayfair. We love Wayfair. Wayfair, you've got just what I need. Wayfair, every style, every home. They really ate with both of those slogans and jingles because let me tell you, yeah, it's every style, every home, it's every budget. So if you're shopping for your house, whether you're decorating for the holidays or you're having people come in to stay with you, you need to refresh your guest room, or you just moved, don't go anywhere besides Wayfair. First of all, their inventory is insane.

They must carry like 300,000 items on their website. Website, all budgets. Their filtering system, like if you're looking for a certain nightstand but the room is small and you only have like 30 inches, you can literally search for nightstands based on their width and they'll only show you ones that are less than 30 inches. It's insane. They also offer Wayfair Verified, so they help you create a home that stands up to real life with quality products, great value, and trusted reviews. So when something has a Wayfair Verified badge, it means the products are hand-vetted by product specialists using a 10-point quality inspection. They've got boho, they've got modern, they've got Art Deco, they've got Old Hollywood glam, like every style and every budget. You can shop thousands of products across all styles budgets, whether you're replacing an appliance or transforming your home. The, uh, shout out to the people who also put photo reviews on Wayfair. You guys are doing the Lord's work. I just bought curtains and I read the review and like I saw how people designed theirs and it was just like so helpful. They have amazing customer service. Find pieces made for real life and get even more value from Wayfair with Wayfair Rewards.

Join Wayfair Rewards today to get 5% back on every purchase. Head to wayfair.com to shop all things home. That's Wayfair, w-a-y-f-a-i-r.com. Wayfair, every style, every home.

Thank you, Turt Fair.

You're welcome.

Our next story, Kim Kardashian endorses an on-demand apparel delivery with a new Skims x DoorDash partnership.

Oh, okay.

Did you see this?

No, sometimes you need a pair of undies. I kind of like that.

No, and it is like sort of an immediate necessary need. We experienced it yesterday on our photo shoot.

Yeah, I forgot a bra.

So— oh, and when I needed a tank top, thankfully I borrowed it from someone on set.

what, this is a really good idea.

Yeah, like when you're missing like one essential, or even you're getting ready for like a wedding or something.

That's what happens. It's like you're getting ready for a wedding and you're putting on your Spanx and you realize that like the Spanx that you have like roll up or they show through the leg or whatever, and you need— you know how Skims makes like one leg? They make the craziest things. And you know what, it's always like at the last minute. Yeah, it's actually so smart.

It is. It's going to be available in more than 10 states. You can get access to the 29 Skims stores without ever stepping out of your house, and it'll be delivered straight to your door the same way.

Like if you're at like a one night stand and you need a fresh pair of undies 'cause like he wants to get breakfast.

Yeah, exactly.

Sure, let me just DoorDash some Skims.

And breakfast.

Oh yeah, we don't have to leave.

So I think that's cute. Also, I wanted to talk about Kim because she has this new book coming out. Have you been hearing about it?

It's not her book, it's like a—

It's a biography about her.

That she's like endorsing.

Yes, it reminds me of like Walter Isaacson who wrote on like Steve Jobs and Elon. It's called Citizen Kim. It is like the book on Kim. And I actually think that's so much better than her writing her own story. because she's not a writer. It

also makes her look so legit, 'cause like the type of people who get— royals get biographies written about them.

No, no, no, it's so legit. I don't know the guy who's writing it. I thought it might be Walter Isaacson, but I guess he does tech, so like—

But he's like the guy. He's like the biography guy.

He's the biography guy.

There are like, there are royal historians who are like the royal guys. I feel like you have a certain niche. So who's like the pop culture?

This is Jonathan Van Meter. He has also written The Last Good Time.

And so that means like Kim is involved a little bit in the sense that she's probably like giving testimony and stuff, but it is written completely based on like his perspective.

Yes, I think he was with her for like 2 years, you know, she told her story, follows her around. I think this is gonna be a storyline on the show also because in the trailer Kris was talking about how she felt like it's like, you know, someone else is— she's giving— Kim is giving someone else license, the license to her story. Feels like they're rewriting her legacy, blah blah blah. But I do think this is the way to do it. I'll be curious. I don't know anything about this individual and like, you know, what his slant might be.

Yeah, but as long as it's like a true— not like Kim, you know, having this guy and she's paying him on the side just to say nice things about her.

I don't think that it is. It's called Citizen Kim, which is a

great name.

The woman who created the future.

I kind of would read this.

I'm going to read it 1,000%.

And it's very cool. I feel like Nobody gets like biographies written about them these days.

Unless you are at the top of your industry.

Right. Nobody in like in celebrity, like people do in tech and politics. Um, royalty.

It's very like Marilyn Monroe. Yeah. Elizabeth Taylor. It's one of one.

It's pretty cool.

It is. Taylor could do one one day. Not to always like bring them up together, but it's—

No, but I was thinking, I also was thinking about Taylor.

It's also like explores a lot about her like Armenian heritage. It just traces her family's roots back through the 19th century.

Right. There's, we forget, you know, there's so much there, there with Kim. Like, obviously you could go through any like 5-year period. The Kanye years, Robert Kardashian, like Caitlyn.

Yeah, it's based on hundreds of hours of interviews with Kim, her family, her friends, and associates. So it sounds really good.

It does sound really good.

I think it comes out at the end of the month. Yeah.

Oh wow, exciting. Yeah, I think I'll read that, pending it's not like 800 pages.

It might be. It might be 500.

Biographies are so long.

It's— oh, it's 352. Okay.

Oh, that's like really short. He knows his audience. Yeah, right. So true.

Yeah, you can't like write a swirly biography and it be 800 pages. And then it's not for anybody because the people who read 800-page biographies don't want to read about Kim.

No, right.

They want to read about Winston Churchill.

Correct.

The people who want to read about Kim don't want to read 800 pages.

100%.

Are you ready for our 5th and final story? A little new couple news. Summer House's Lindsay Hubbard and Below Deck's Joe Bradley are hooking up. I don't know who that is, but Lindsay Hubbard is hooking up with someone from Below Deck. His name is Joe Bradley. Uh, a source tells Us Weekly that they have been hooking up for a little bit over a month now. She is 40 and he is 29.

Oh my God, love that. I love that Lindsay had her baby and like now she doesn't need to date so seriously. I feel like she was dating so methodically with her PowerPoint presentations, like, because it was all in service of this timeline. And now that she's had her baby, like, whatever. Yeah, hook up with the 29-year-old Bravo celebrity. Obviously this is not like Or OTP. I think a lot of people are taking this particularly hard because there have been murmurs just based on like footage, like the

VRT Awards.

Yeah. And like little outings and clips and moments that have went viral that like her and Carl might be rekindling just based on like body language. I personally think it's a terrible idea. Like, yeah, of course, in hindsight, like, oh yeah, literally no. Like no 2 people have ever been less compatible with one another like in their whole lives.

And I got a hug.

Exactly. Um, but like, sure, have fun, Mama.

Yeah.

Obviously, like, I want more for her. Like, I want her to be in like a super happy, healthy, long-term relationship. But like, we're no longer— we no longer have like Mother Nature's foot on our neck with her. I feel like for so long all she wanted to do was start a family, and like it was sort of this like driving force to make her crazy. And she acted crazy in relationships, and she chose the wrong guys. And it's like, you know, things just worked out so fortuitously. Like, baby Gemma is here. She can live a little, like it's not that serious.

Yeah, apparently they were like filming together for In the City, maybe even over the summer. I don't know, I do want like something like, you know, lasting. And,

and speaking of lasting, did you see those 2 from In the City got engaged? Whitney Franzway?

I did see that.

Yeah, I don't— I mean, I only saw a couple episodes, so it's like I can't make a grandiose statement, but like I got bad vibes from their relationship. Like,

I didn't see enough to get a vibe, but I know everyone else did.

Yeah. Right.

Um, yeah, so

this is fine for now, Lindsay.

Yeah, it's not like—

It's better than Carl, honestly. Like, I, I don't think that would be a—

I feel like she's ready for like a serious relationship. Like,

isn't that what the Graham was? Is that his name, her baby daddy?

Turner.

Literally Graham.

Turner.

Turner, you're right. And Turner equals Graham.

I agree. Yeah, tell baby names.

Yeah, right.

Name Barry.

It's better than that. Like, I feel like that's a cheat.

Like, the thing is, I know you're saying like it's a fling, whatever, and it's like, I just want her to like really have support and be settled and, you know, just have everything.

She does everything on her own.

So I'm just— right. And so I'm just hoping that like maybe he's a mature 29 and maybe he's ready to step up. He's not. Maybe he's in it for the long haul. He looks like—

Maybe he's not a stepfather, he's the father who stepped up,

right?

I don't think so.

You don't think so?

I think she's like seriously having fun and I love that for her.

She looks insane.

She looks insane. I feel like her arc on Summer House and like as a public figure is so positive. Like she's had such an uphill journey. I feel like in the beginning she was kind of like—

She has always been like a controversial character.

And it only was like a few years ago where everyone realized it's like, well, she's amazing. Like before that she was so controversial and so polarizing and people like hated her and like some people liked her but like she was annoying. And it was like, no, this was all in service of like Mother Hubbard and now people get her.

into this era of— she's sort of an untouchable Bravo celebrity. She reminds me of like Luann. Yes,

Ariana. Oh.

No, no, not Ariana. That's different. That was like— you know what?

Yeah.

Luann. Just love, love, love, love. It's not about the storyline. It's just about like just being happy for her. It must be so enjoyable for her.

Especially because it was like 8 years of being on a show nobody watched and being like one of the least liked person— people on it. So yeah, it must be amazing.

Yeah.

I'm so happy for her.

Me too.

Just be careful, likability is a prison.

But I'm saying— Says Kelly Clarkson. It's reached an echelon where she's untouchable. It's not up for debate. It's not like, oh, we like her, right? Well, we always— for as long as we've been watching Summer House, we have seen Lindsay for who she is.

Don't forget how much everyone hated her when she started dating Carl.

Yeah, and when she broke up with Carl— when they broke up, and when she wouldn't give him a hug.

Sus.

For as long as we've been watching Summer House, we have been on her side. So of course that feels good. But no, it just feels like she's— it's not up for debate. It's like, it's not like next— she's maybe next season people might not, right? It's just like it's agreed everything she says is golden.

Yeah.

So I hope that they get married.

Joe Bradley. Lindsay Bradley.

Do you know Joe Bradley? I've never saw him before.

I never saw him before either, but Blowjob is a Bravo blind spot for me.

Not, not always. You still—

I used to love it. Like when they were There was one Below Deck and it was like Kate Chastain and Ben the chef, like that crazy bitch Rocky who jumped off the boat, remember? Now there's a Below Deck Med, Below Deck Sailing, Below Deck, and it's like, who's the captain? Captain Lee is the captain, like that's it.

Captain Sandy?

I like her too and I did watch when it became Captain Sandy, but it's like, it got too big for me and I was like, I don't need multiple Below Decks.

I agree with that.

Below Deck Med! Just Kate. Kate and Ben and that like really mean cat. Remember that other second Stu? He was so fucking mean. And then they got the third Stu, Rocky, who was like this curly-haired free spirit and she was fucking crazy. And always the chef drama. Leon, the other chef. Those were the days. Now it's like, it's too many people, it's too many cooks, literally. I don't know.

I guess the Summer House people did Below Deck over the summer.

Love that. I love crossovers.

Maybe that's how they met.

Hannah Montana.

Yeah, like everyone's there.

That's a great idea.

Yeah, cute. Yeah. Those are the Fast Five stories, feels all you need to know.

DTQ, we'll see you tomorrow. Thank you guys so much for listening to the Toasted Monday Morning Show. We deliver the Fast Five stories Monday through Friday on YouTube. So if you're watching us on YouTube, please feel free to subscribe and give this video a thumbs up. We're also available as a podcast, and our podcast can be found on Spotify, TuneIn, Stitcher, Pocket FM, Apple Podcasts, Boxel, Play Store, wherever you get your podcasts. Hope you guys have an amazing day. We'll see you tomorrow.

Love ya, bye.