Transcript of I Love Your Calls, Claudia: Thursday, March 19th, 2026

Good morning, girlies. It's The Toast. It's Jackson, Claude, and we're your hosts. It's your favorite show, the fast 5 things you need to know.

We'll start your day off swirly.

It's The Toast. I sound amazing.

Welcome back to The Toast and happy Thursday.

Thursday.

Thursday. Oh, you're just like too busy to say Thursday?

Yeah, I'm just too busy.

Okay.

You want to know something about us today?

We're wearing coats.

We're both wearing little jackets.

It's fucking freezing.

I mean, it is in the 60s today, which makes you wear a jacket, but there's a difference between like wearing a jacket because you're cold and then also like it's part of our outfits and we both like incorporated jackets into our outfits today.

I don't know why you're acting so surprised. Like, we're extremely stylish individuals.

But I also just meant simpatico. Of course, that simpatico nature that I'm remarking on.

We're kind of like Irish twins, don't you find?

No, if anything, Olivia and I are closer in age.

Sorry, I just would like to point out, once again, not supporting my cause. Like, I'm just gonna start pointing it out. Thank you. And I just saw—

I saw one person say, like, we're not Irish.

We are simpatico. Like, we have— we're not just sisters. Like, you, you can even understand a little about what I was saying. Yeah, we're more than just sisters.

No, I guess we're Irish twins in the sense that we're not— we weren't born twins, but like, we act like twins.

Okay, so you're agreeing with my call?

That's— I guess that's how I feel about Harry and Charlie. Like, they are being raised like twins.

Great. I have twins and I am supporting your call in that.

Like, I think Charlie really thinks he's a twin.

I think that, like, I have triplets, you know?

Yeah, for sure.

Oh, I have the love of 3 triplets.

Who? Like, which 3 are you referring to?

Ruby, Ruby, Ruby. Like, like, there's so much love there.

Charlie, Ruby. What about that?

I might as well, like, have had 3 children for how much, like, I— how much love there is.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure.

It's another good call.

That was one of your best.

Did you finish Secret Lives?

I did. I was up so late finishing Secret Lives.

You had to finish.

We're recording early this morning. This episode's going to drop before the sun comes up, thanks daylight savings, because we're also recording a very fun Patreon after this. So it's just a busy, busy, busy. But yes, I had to finish so that like we could discuss in full with context and everything. And it will be the first story is like the latest news and our thoughts on Slumber Recap because that's the lead story.

Did want to update everyone, our Businessman of the Week has been updated and I think it was time for— no offense, Dr. Mike, love you so much, but But Connor is doing a lot of great work. It's kind of turning into good husband of the week.

It's the week supportive partners.

Yeah, which is a good thing to celebrate, but that's not what the frame was for. Actually, the thing about Connor is the reason why he's in the frame is like, 'cause he's not a businessman, he quit his job.

No, he's the magician of the week.

Right.

What's so funny about us, you wanna hear what's so funny? It's like we said we would—

Do I ever. This is it, okay? We said we wouldn't do businesswoman of the week 'cause like, fuck feminism, whatever.

But inadvertently, every businessman of the week has been a man who supports a woman in business. Mm-hmm. So we are inadvertently uplifting women in business by, by celebrating the men who allow them to do it.

Only the last two, by the way.

No, but also the inaugural Paul Salem. It was all about Nicole Kidman.

Yeah.

Dr. Mike to support Bridget so that she can be a boss babe. Connor to support Whitney so she could take over the world. Like even though we said it wasn't about business women, like, okay, let's just course correct then.

'Cause I don't want it to be about business women.

Ergo, it's about, no, no, we can't help ourselves.

I know, that's how I kind of also just feel.

That's how matriarchal we are.

It kind of more so just feels like the frame is like celebrating just the person of the moment.

Like, I think it's celebrating great humans. Okay, people who use the word humans, I hate.

Yeah, hate. I need that energy people have for the word moist. Like, let's use it for that.

I have a couple words that really bother me like that.

Okay, obviously any of Claudia's calls.

No, no, no. Like, obviously empathy, only because it's overused.

Like, people don't— yeah, it hurts.

You know what's getting up there? Narcissist. Yeah, there was two things I saw this week. I didn't watch Southern Charm reunion, but I saw a teaser clip of like everyone calling Craig a narcissist, and that's not a good use of the word. It is not a good use of the word. Like, we've seen Craig on TV for a very long time. He has his faults, sure, right? Narcissist— like, we are overusing the word when it's like really one of the most damning labels you can slap on someone.

Yeah, but that's like so the culture to like use a label.

You can be selfish without being a narcissist. I think selfish is self-centered, conceited. That's not narcissism.

No. You know, I think people just say now when they don't like someone, like, that's not going to work.

Someone who's selfish, that's not narcissism. Yeah, narcissism is like a true sociopathic label, like a psychotic behavior endangering others around them.

So all that to say, please welcome our Businessman of the Week, Connor Leavitt. And yes, we know that their last name is Leavitt. Like, you don't need to comment that, you guys. Like, we know. We sort of like thrive on saying it wrong.

We thrive on pronouncing every letter in a word.

You think we don't know the last name Levitt?

Like, what about my friend from middle school, Sammy Levitt? Sammy Levitt, who does the, and with that, the 2026 season comes to an end.

That is literally our favorite podcast.

That's our claim to fame.

That we like know him and went to school with him.

Yeah. And he does it every year. And Ben also knows him separately. Mm-hmm. Like he's just sort of in our orbit.

Correct.

That's our claim to fame.

He's sort of like our North Star. It's, it always comes back to Sammy Levitt.

He was also the oldest one in my grade. When I think I think about, you know, like parents now are more, more parents now I think are holding back their children from starting kindergarten so that they can like have an, uh, an extra year on their peers. Um, which people didn't do when we were growing up. You only were held back if you like, if you couldn't cut it, not preemptive holding back.

Mm-hmm.

So I always think about Sammy Levitt because he was the oldest in our grade and it's like, will I have a Sammy Levitt?

Mm-hmm.

Or will I have a Jax because I was the youngest?

Oh, so this is definitely like a you experience? Like, I didn't think about it at all as a July baby.

As a— oh yeah, you were right, middle of the pack, middle of the road. You don't even realize how special that is. You were always focused on your summer birthday. You got to be completely average, which is all you want to be growing up.

It's so true.

You don't want to be big and you don't want to be small.

Yeah, I never thought about like my age in regards to my peers.

You were never like the, the only one who didn't turn 21 yet and couldn't go to the bar. You weren't the first one who had to like go and wait for everyone else, lose her friends.

Also, um, I feel like what you're referring to, my version of that, is like the alphabet.

Yes, that is your version of that.

Yeah, like having a last name that started with O, and like all my best friends— Ashnorf, two twins, Ashnorf, Ashnorf, Shatrit— see, everyone, like literally everyone was at the beginning. Being an O was so hard. There actually was a year that I thought about going by— because like we do have a— for our middle name, we have our mom's maiden name. So like I thought for many years about like registering at school. It would have been easy. A lot of people did like hyphenate. It's just like a hyphenated— Gellar-Ashray. And that would have put me G in like the first half of the alphabet, and like I don't know if it was our school in particular or just all schools, like the alphabet. Like we lived and died by the alphabet, like splitting up for busses, like a school trip, like literally everything. It was really hard for me, arguably harder than having a summer birthday.

I, I think so. Based on what I know about you and what you've shared, I think that's a really good call.

I think Olivia though, like still has a birthday.

I think it's a really good call that the alphabet is your months of the year.

Thank you.

And now I need to point out every time I do.

Well, you'll have a hard time.

Claim your good cause.

You'll have a hard time.

You only see the negative. You would have just missed that one.

You wouldn't have said it if I didn't— with that, you wouldn't have said it if I didn't point it out. Miss me with that, bestie. Stop. I don't have energy to deal with—

you didn't tell everyone you're sick.

I'm sick, and I'm such a hardworking woman that like I still came to work today. Like sometimes when I wake up sick, I'm like, I wish I just went into marketing, you know, and then I could call in sick.

You— and sometimes when you wake up sick, like, you could send Ben—

you could have—

I could have— if Ben— but we actually have a busy morning and we're doing our Patreon. It's very specific. We do birth charts. They printed them out.

Yeah, no, like, we have our birth charts, so we're getting our birth charts read. And like, Ben can't do this.

No, he can't. So like, you actually couldn't have missed today.

But like, but all that to say, like, the virus that's been running through our family has finally hit me. I feel like garbage. And if you could just be supportive of my calls today, or you could just give me that breast. Like, what if we just lactated? Like, we breastfed.

I was gonna say, do you need breast milk? Do you have on you that's not in your No, but like I could hand express.

Yeah, hand express into a cup. I'll take a shot.

Would you really?

Yeah.

That's so funny. It's so Charlie of you.

I mean, I drink like tequila and the tequila's disgusting.

No, like seriously, breast milk is magic. I gave some to Charlie this morning. Let's see the transformation.

All right, let's see. Um, like after the show.

Oh, fine. Yeah.

Yeah. You don't have to hand express on the show live.

Thanks. Thanks. That's really sweet of you. That's a great call.

If you wanted to.

That's a great call.

If you wanted to, I think that could be like a good boost in numbers, but obviously you don't have to if you don't want to.

Thanks so much.

So yeah, like I'm sick and I'm a hero. It's funny how like going into work when you're sick, like before COVID was like a heroic thing, like, oh, she works so hard. And now it's like you're evil, you're killing people, like the disabled. Yeah, right.

Like granny killer.

But it's like, I'm just a business owner. I should be in the frames. Businessman of the week.

But we said it can't be a businesswoman. And that's—

there's a lot of things about me that's extremely manly.

All of our segments is just why it becomes hard not to anoint ourselves Queenie of the week. Even though, like, true, that's the thing about Queen of the Week. The unspoken truth is that it's us, obviously.

And like, the fact that we don't give it to ourselves every week only further makes us bigger queenies.

Good call. Thanks.

Should we dive in?

Yeah, let's dive in. I want to talk about Slumber.

Me too.

I can only like pull myself up late watching it, and I need that to pay off in some capacity. Okay, without further ado, here are the Fast Five stories that you need to know.

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Dakota Mortensen breaks his silence on the domestic assault investigation with ex Taylor Frankie Paul leading into our Slammu recap. So Dakota's speaking out for the first time amid reports this week of a domestic assault investigation involving him and TFP. He said to Entertainment Weekly his number one son— his number one priority here is protecting Ever. He, uh, at least someone's saying that. His rep said he knew there was a possibility it could come out, but he he was not going to be the one to proactively do that because he has always wanted a decent relationship with Taylor. It's been really hard to achieve that, but he wants to co-parent well. So having now watched the season—

yes. Okay. So now that I finished it up, and do you agree that there was like a major lull in the middle of the season? Like, and then the last two episodes just were amazing.

And for— no, actually the lull for me was the reunion content and really like circling the drain on last season and Demi and Marciano and all that jazz.

Right. Because Demi was like, wasn't even a cast member this season.

Yeah. So when I'm now reading this, and I don't know why up until last night I would've maybe like took what he said at face value. I don't believe a word this man says. Like, I think that he's so funny, so much worse than we even realize. I think we were talking yesterday about how he sabotages every premiere for her.

Mm-hmm.

I think in the month leading up to The Bachelorette, he did everything he possibly could down to the last minute to ruin this for Taylor.

When she, first of all, I cannot believe how close they were, like still talking about their relationship. She's literally in the car, she says, I gotta get out there filming.

Like, we're gonna start that— her stepping out of the car and she's coming off the phone with Dakota, it does not bode well for her being able to have like a real lasting relationship. And she is not without fault.

Like, well, so that's so funny that you said that because I feel like yesterday I came on here being like, I could actually really see like, you know, Dakota being the aggressor, the abuser, and like all of this is like— and then when I watched those last two episodes and the way she reacted to the Shania thing on all fronts, blaming everyone but Dakota slept with him that night. Literally so mean to Miranda. Like, I really— and you know what, I get confused because I know Leila is like 23, and so sometimes I have to chalk up these girls being like so immature to the fact that they're immature. Taylor freaking Paul is my age. She's 31. Like, I didn't realize that until— they have their ages up the whole time, which I appreciate. At your big-ass age, you're still acting like this? Like, you're a mom now of 3? When she did not get on the plane and her mom and her sister were like shuffling all the kids through the airport and they didn't even know Dakota slept over that night. Like, I lost any last real ounce of respect I had for her.

And I don't— like, she's indefensible.

Like, she is. No, she is completely wrong. Dakota knows how to get under her skin, but she lets him. And it ain't hard. No, it's not hard. But he does it, and he gets under there, and he pokes, and he like abuses her because he knows how to. And again, like, she picks up the phone.

Yeah.

And she— but they also have a child together, so she has to be in his life. But like, she's just not strong enough to say like, this is enough for me. Go do whatever you want with whoever you want, and I'm not going to let it affect me.

And it's actually insane. The one thing Taylor Frankie Paul like really needs in her life that she does not get from anyone is tough love. When finally, when all the girls go over to her house at the very end and Jesse like finally like is annoyed with her, like no one is mad at her. Like more people need to be mad at her.

I think the one time they got mad at her on the show, it really backfired with the CMAs. I think they're scared of her fans.

Yeah.

Um, like when the CMAs happened, and it is weird that nobody commented anything, and it was like a big moment for her, but whatever. And she like went on the warpath online, and then everybody else gets so much hate. And when we all watch that season, we were not on Taylor's side. We're like, yeah, why didn't you guys comment? We weren't mad at her for like lashing out. And that's also what Jesse says, is like her fans then are like, she's so authentic, she's so real, she's so vulnerable, when she's posting crazy shit about Shania, she has never really felt the brunt of her, um, actions, like the consequences. Yeah, not from a public opinion standpoint. Like, even when she got arrested, even when the swinging thing— all of those things just made her career bigger, uh, and so she doesn't really— like, if she had a real cancelation the way, like, well, it's happening now with brands pulling out and stuff, but it's like, did she even do the thing that's happening now?

I believe that she did. Like, I think she— yeah, I saw such a deeply unwell person. Like, and then also going on The Bachelor is not like a good experience for your mental health. But you know what's so funny? We were saying that like, it seems like ABC is going to position this as like a healing season and then going to send her off into The Bachelor like a healed individual. Although they ended it saying she might be pregnant and she was talking to Dakota the second she got out of the car. So I kind of feel like ABC might not be like totally unhappy with her, you know what I mean?

Yeah, I think they are embracing the chaos, but it does sort— not that The Bachelor is like such a sanctity, but it does, like, the person who is the Bachelor or Bachelorette needs to be completely open, ready, and willing to receive.

They try to like keep the integrity of the concept.

The integrity of the concept, not someone who has like one foot out the door, might be pregnant. She's obviously not. She's obviously, I mean, she's not pregnant right now. But yeah, I don't know why they would mess with that format and make The Bachelor like trash, honestly. But this is what they do sometimes. When it's always been about eligible people who are really, yeah, there's always a villain, whatnot. But like, it's really people in earnest who would like to find love and who are ready and aren't like going to run back home.

The whole airport, like, the last cut, like, it was bothering me so much. Like, I was getting annoyed that no one was getting annoyed with her, even Miranda. Like, nobody— the way she was talking to everyone, like, nobody talks back to her. Like, no wonder she's a fucking monster. And honestly, now I'm rethinking that scene where her dad was being mean to her. Like, you know, maybe somebody needs to be mean to her.

Like, I've never really had like a huge issue with with the way that her parents try to get through to her.

Oh, and also, like, now that we know so much, like, her dad who, like, adopted her and has loved her from every minute— like, love him, right?

And she's so hung up on, like, the father who doesn't want to be with her, who kicked the mother by the reservoir and was a drug-addicted individual. Um, but— and that makes her feel not chosen when, like, this man Jeremy chose her over and over and over.

Totally.

And so, like, that's the, you know— and the fact that she has to go chase down this— obviously she doesn't know a ton about her biological dad, but enough to know that her mom had to leave him.

He was addicted to drugs.

Oh, the poor mom being dragged Colorado, and the mom like won't even talk about these things. So she's like taking her mom on this trip to like relive her drama and yelling at her the whole time, chase down the ghost of her father who's not a good guy. Yeah, when you have like good people in your life who want to be there for you, but it's like, no, what about my dad? I want to learn more about my dad, right? It's, it's hard to understand that desire.

And the whole time she's being so mean and screaming at her mom, and her mom is like breaking down on the side of the road. Yeah, it was a weird trip.

No, and it's like you have to like really learn about the ins and outs of your mom's abuse in order to like feel sorry for her. You can't just like take her at face value, the woman who was there for you, who raised you, did everything for you. No, the one who ran away and started a new family and never wanted to see you even when you're 4 years old.

Correct, correct. Um, and what's so interesting is that like obviously Taylor Dakota is like the big thing, but there were so many interesting storylines happening in the last couple of episodes.

Wait, I had just one more thought about Taylor Dakota, and I know that we're really mad at her, and I am mad, and when she wasn't getting on the plane and she was sick, and like she's just such a self-sabotager. But I started to feel really bad for her. Because if, say, she didn't go on The Bachelorette and she was like, I'm gonna give this a shot with Dakota, or she does The Bachelorette and then comes home and is like with Dakota, she will like never get out of this cycle. It reminded me, you know that scene in Maid?

People say that they're like Lucy and Steven.

No, you know the scene in Maid? You remember ever watch that? Of course I did, it was amazing. When like she's finally getting out and she gets a job, and, and but then she, for some reason, she has to go back and live in the trailer again. Like they have her, like she's laying on the couch, sucks her up. Yeah. And that's like what will happen to Taylor if she doesn't find a way to break free. And I feel like she didn't break free from After Bachelorette given like what we know is going on now. And I am seriously, as much as I'm mad at her, worried about her. This will not end well.

No.

Like very deeply concerned. And yes, she's pushed away everyone and that's on her. And she needs to fix the personal relationships in her life. Cause she has good people.

She has her friends.

Yes, people who really care about her. She has her sister, she has her stepdad. And forget the women because like they are there for her. To their own end. You know, they realized it's more profitable to be a supportive friend to Taylor and an enabler than it is to like actually call her out and treat her the way you would treat a friend, right? But she has her family who are there for her, and I just— I am very worried about her.

Okay.

And I'm also like, I'm not convinced that maybe her and Dakota are toxic and they, you know, choke each other and whatever. I don't— I'm not convinced that she hurt her child. And she said that she did.

Yeah, yeah, I forgot about that.

Those are really two separate things to me.

Yeah, but I think while maybe like neither of them like put their hands on their child, like having these sort of—

displaying this behavior in front of your children is abuse.

Yeah, it's neglect, it's abuse. And the kid is honestly— and that's the other thing about the grandparents, uh, Ever is always at the grandparents' house.

Even the fact that they were flying with bigger kids whose faces are blurred.

Yeah, but it is interesting that Taylor co-parents decently well. We haven't really ever heard anything about her ex-husband. Like, they seem to be— and she took them with her to The Bachelor.

Yeah, which is nice. Yeah, she had said like that's the only way she would do Bachelorette is if she could see her kids. But I don't know in what— how often they're going to like be there. Yeah, I'm sure we'll find out about it on the show.

Mom Talk clearly needs a new leader.

Well, she was like always the face of Mom Talk but never really the one to be like the lead administrator, you know? Yeah, I feel like figurehead position.

Okay, you know who's like I feel vying for it but is not going to get it? It's Leila. And I think it's tough because there are like girls from this group that are being selected to get those bigger opportunities, and Leila's not one of them. And her like attempt failed on the show, which was really sad to watch. But she's also the one like holding a gun to everyone's head about Mom Talk. So she's kind of like the one who cares about it the most. She's like, well, you can't just like use Mom Talk to get all these opportunities and then not come back.

I think Macy should be the leader.

Well, yes, obviously she's the most sound of mind. She kind of had like the most boring season, but like, that's a good leader.

Yeah. Yeah, she can like actually lead. She's interested in like opportunities, but also the friendships. She has, I think, the most friendships in the least amount of time.

Yeah.

Also, Jesse would be a good leader.

So yes, Jesse would be too, but Jesse, I feel, is destined for lots of personal drama like this. The, um, the leader needs to be stable, have a stable home life.

I actually think Jesse is very stable. Not her home life, but like clean up. She, um, it's funny, like even when she's in like the worst situation, she's like smiling. Hey everybody, how's everybody doing?

Yeah.

Yeah. Like I think she really keeps it together and compartmentalizes. I think she would also be a good leader, and she also speaks for everyone. Like, even professionals, she's sort of like narrating the show and moving it along and telling us about what we're seeing. I think actually she could be the leader.

Her prenup— I really wanted to cry for her. That's awful.

I wonder what the windup is. Like, yeah, they said maybe.

Well, if they end up getting— only, it only matters if they end up getting divorced.

Yeah.

How do you like go through all that trouble to have a lawyer and not have a witness?

I have no idea.

I have such a pick because she's right, I forget. But like, we found out last season that like the first 4 years of their marriage, he was like a verbally abusive, actual evil narcissist.

Yeah.

And now he's obviously acting, cosplaying like, I'm changed. He's like, that's not who I am anymore. But yeah, she said he's a hard person to be married to, but he would be a harder person to be divorced because he would completely revert to that version of himself.

And like, if he is changed, then why isn't it like working, right? If he's changed, if he's changed, not just on camera.

Now, as a Zac Affleck stan, was last night's episode hard for you to watch? It was hard for me to watch because obviously Obviously the Afflecks are in the wrong. Although I will say, like, I don't really clown on Zach for defending his wife. He doesn't know his wife is dead on balls fucking wrong.

But like, even if your wife is wrong, like, you go hard for your wrong wife.

Except you don't show up in place of your wife to argue with a woman.

You do not. And but that's also on Jen because beyond women know that obviously more, even more so than men.

Yeah.

And that's never gonna look at— I don't care if he was in the right, even that's never gonna be, uh, a fight that we want to see, or a fair fight.

I've been like waiting to see their argument while they were in glam, and honestly it didn't disappoint. It was really crazy. And I feel like a lot of the women, but mostly— and I was appreciative that a couple of girls had, had, um, Whitney's back, but like Jen just thinks that Whitney is this like insanely manipulative, manipulative, strategic, calculated person, whereas like she couldn't even control her emotions. She was so upset in that scene. I felt like, I don't know where Jen is getting this impression. And then she reiterated that to Zach, and Zach was like, well, were you even sad that she left? Like, using internet drama.

Yeah, to like— oh yeah, and then Zach like insinuating that why are the headlines saying this, why are people saying this, like, because it's true, which is just so false and rude. And you also have to remember all the hate that Whitney was getting. Yeah, Dancing with the Stars. So even though it's like going well for her, she is having a hard time. They're both having a hard time in a different way.

And I appreciate it. I think it was Jesse in her confessionals who said— and she was the only person who brought it up— and you can't really talk about Jen and Whitney on Dancing with the without really talking about how I, I think a lot of what's fueling Jen to just like dislike Whitney is that Whitney is succeeding on like another level and Jen was not. Like the competition element of it all, and it was unfair, you know, they weren't on the same level. And she's, you know, 8 weeks postpartum, like of course it's absurd, but like it's hard to see someone who you're like on the same level with, like she was gonna win, you know. And she not only did she not win, she got even better. It's better that she didn't win because she got to call her daddy moment, she got the big dance, then she got Broadway. Like it was perfect.

Well, it seems like she got Broadway regardless of what happened next. I thought it was a sort of justice for having been eliminated early, but no, she was always on her way because she was doing such an amazing job. So it's like the competition was going better for Whitney, but public opinion was not on her side. Gemma wasn't doing amazing in the competition, but people were feeling for her, voting for her.

And then she threw Whitney under the bus on that live, and I think it made things a lot worse for Whitney.

For Whitney, when she is seriously going through The fact that you would add to that, I don't care if that's your friend or not, that's a human being.

Yeah.

And that is not the right thing to do.

Jen just looked like such a loser because she really did not have one legitimate claim against Whitney. It seemed like Whitney had been texting her when she was sick saying hi in the studio and she couldn't even congratulate her. And then when she— it's a classic like loser behavior when like Whitney very calmly was like, you know, it upset me that you didn't like congratulate me on Chicago. You've known for a week. And not only did she deny it, she then started attacking. I'm the victim and we don't have a genuine friendship. Like it was such a loser.

I know. I also feel like like, I feel like maybe Jen didn't realize like how big of a deal it was.

Chicago? Because she thought it was in Chicago.

She didn't really like know what it was.

But she has big dreams of being on like a performer and she doesn't even know that Broadway show Chicago's in New York.

And so she made the fight about like the other issues she has with Whitney. But like, I feel like it's not that she was like snubbing her by not congratulating her. Like, she just didn't know it was— I guess they always celebrate everyone's little everything. Oh, you got this brand deal?

Like, I'm sorry, you can't convince me that everything going on between Jen and Whitney is— I'm sorry, like It's just jealousy.

Well, that's amongst other things.

And it fuels everything.

And the obsession with her being friends with Demi and that also, here's the thing.

No, that's the only thing she has to cling to. She doesn't have a real argument against Whitney.

No. And so she's mad that Whitney came back for Dancing with the Stars and is using all these friendships as transactional. But it also seems like Whitney is successfully rebuilding her friendships.

Mm-hmm.

And Jenny and Summer, there is an element of transaction to all of these friendships, like every single one. None of them are completely pure except maybe like Macy and Michaela. Everyone else, like, we have a friendship, we have a bond, but this is also a working relationship. So the idea that it's like, it's gonna be rainbows and flowers and you can't want something in exchange for something else, like, is very naive and stupid. Like, this is a business.

Yeah.

And if Whitney comes back for Dancing with the Stars, so be it. At least she was upfront about it.

Right.

And she happened to also in earnest repair some of her friendships. And I think that's what makes Jen mad is like, people have forgiven her. No, but what makes Jen mad? And Jen hasn't because Jen's the one suffering of Dancing with the Stars. Like, it should've been just Jen on Dancing with the Stars. If Jen— right, if it were up to Jen, because Whitney's not on Mom Talk.

Right, so then this person like came back, got Dancing with the Stars, and like beat you, and they like cheated their way back.

They cheated their way to Dancing with the Stars because they just came back for it. They were actually on a show. But I'm not on Jen's side at all. Yeah, Zach should not have gone in place of Whitney. Jen should never have let him. That was never, ever, ever, never going to look good for them.

And now when we talk about like, should Whitney go back, like she's just like light years ahead of all the women in just maturity. And her marriage is in a good place. Nobody else's is. Like, I think, yeah, I actually think now, like having watched the whole season, like do not go.

The way that I feel now is that this show is like a toilet and you don't want to get flushed down. A little bit of a curse. Yeah.

And like Whitney's managed to escape it. And you know what, fine, let's say the show is still really big. Like at least Whitney will leave like with her marriage, her family intact, and like opportunities outside of it. Like That was— it was really upsetting to watch the whole Whitney and Jen thing. And when they were fighting in front of all the women, I know it's like not the type of show where people can like step in, but it was so wrong what was happening there. Like, Whitney was getting so upset. Like, I felt so bad for her.

They're such sheep, all these girls. They didn't—

they're cheap.

They didn't know what the right side was, so they didn't take it. They didn't know how they felt about the situation, who's right and who's wrong, so they didn't stand up for anyone. Because no one said Miranda—

I do feel as though Miranda has a moral compass.

Yeah.

Um, and she barely said anything, but she like took Whitney's side for a second, and then she was the one who like stepped what she experienced, the claim.

Um, but yeah, they didn't know. They don't know how the fans are going to feel about that fight, so they're just going to stay out of it.

Agreed.

There's not a unanimous consensus.

I was really willing, like, when I thought about this season, like, to give Jen so much grace, but any goodwill, I feel like it was so gone. Like, that was really upsetting to watch, like, yeah, live, like, everything. It was so—

nobody felt worse for Jen on Dancing with the Stars than I did. I actually didn't even vote for her when the night she got eliminated because I thought she wanted to leave. That's unhappy she seemed. Um, and it must be really hard to get that opportunity when you're 8 months post— 8 weeks postpartum.

And then like your friend is also doing it at like the peak of her physical fitness.

But like it's another lesson in like you do not need to say yes to every opportunity. Yeah, like these women are running themselves into the ground.

Jen should have said no. And I'm sure if she had like worked hard enough, she could have gotten it this year.

Yeah, of course. Yeah, we're gonna probably have— why wouldn't we have more?

Yeah.

Yeah, and I'm sure there will be a wife on Dancing with the Stars this year. I wonder who it will be. It could be anyone. Yeah, maybe Leila, maybe Jesse. Whoever wants it, it's theirs for the taking.

And I'm hesitant to bring this up because I know it's a personal trigger of yours, but let's talk about Michaela and Jayce.

Thank you so much. I almost forgot. I almost—

so they separated in one of the— why was she the one who left?

I almost forgot that the villain of the season is the person who said 3 words. Is Jace. Yeah, we are not giving this man enough hate, enough hate for what he's done torturing his wife who just had a baby to be more intimate with him. Not only did she just have a baby, her skin issues are flaring up again, so she's like trying to get this under control. I can imagine stress would be like the worst thing for that. She's also the breadwinner in the family, can't take a minute off, and then he's there like, what about me?

Oh, I'm gonna have a kiss.

So, and their connection—

like, get out of here, you fucking gross.

Who's like focused on connection to the point that they feel they need to separate when you have like a 2-month-old little baby.

When they're having the conversation about separating, like, it's literally like the newborn on the bed. I was so shook. Like, he was like, I feel like— they were both like sad because like, we love each other so much. And he was like, I just feel confident like once we get this issue fixed, we can get back together. And she was like, I just don't think it's fixable. Like, that's what she said.

But the thing is, maybe it's not fixable. Maybe it will be the thing that drives them apart right now though. Like, If it is fixable ever, it's not right now. And maybe down the road they'll see that they can't come together on this, but like to be dealing with it and really put it on the time clock when she has a newborn baby, she's working her tail off and she's having health issues. You are a disgusting human to make her separate, to have—

and she has to leave the house.

And why the fuck was that? Leaving the house?

And they have other kids, right?

Besides, I think they have one other, one or two with Jace?

Oh yeah, she did. She brought her grown kid to Jesse's house. That was cute when they all had the meeting at Jesse's house.

Oh my God, they're like the toy rooms.

Yeah, it was so cute.

It's so cute. They all have—

they do have other kids.

They have— they have 4 together. And you're separate— you're encouraging—

and why didn't Jace leave?

I think he's so fucking disgusting. Worse than Jordan. No, not even Jordan made Jesse leave the house when she had a baby.

Yeah, yeah.

Claudia, I cannot understand.

It was really hard to watch.

That you think now's the time to really make the critical decision of saying what you're gonna do. Divorce with a 2-month-old?

Yeah.

After having 4 children? Like, divorce if you want. If you're gonna divorce and it's not gonna be able to work out, like, fine. But can't you like sort of kick the can down the road a little bit and just let this—

nobody's intimacy is like thriving 2 months.

Let this woman recover and heal, right? And stress is not good for her health condition, correct? And it's like, it seems like he's really could only, you know, lay it on his pregnant wife. And now he feels like she had the baby, it's back to let's talk about these intimacy issues.

Well, I saw on TikTok that, um, some of her health issues have cleared a little bit because it turns out that they were living with mold.

Yeah, that's very real. We know, living with the stress of a demon. Yeah, I could not believe what I was watching.

So funny.

I could not believe what I was watching. Like, separating with a 2-month-old is like Taylor and Dakota, like too toxic to be around with the baby. But like, you have 4 kids and now you're not gonna be together and like support your family? Yeah, because you didn't get a kiss.

The kiss, he said it's not even the sex. Up, Michaela was like, it's not even the sex for him, it's the kisses. But like, kissing is her trigger. I think it has to do with her childhood sexual trauma.

Okay, so it's not—

he just wants— and I'm so—

and the fact that all of this— sometimes she's being like a bitch, right?

Because she has like a deeply untraumatized Yeah.

He is disgusting to me.

And then like when Macy's picking her up and like they, she's like, I'll give you guys a moment. And they kiss. You could just tell like she could not get away from him fast enough.

And he's in heaven.

Yeah. He's such a freak.

I know. It made me so mad. Like there's a time and a place for hard conversations, for fights, for making big decisions. It is not when you've just had a baby. Also when you've had 4, but like, it's not like like you sort of—

this is new to you. Yes. The thing with Michaela and Chase also is that like one of the weird things about the relationship is that when they met and got pregnant, he was 21 and she was 16. So like it's possible that like he was under the impression when you like, you know, impregnate a 16-year-old, like you're the one in charge. But Michaela was like, like, no, you know. Like I think he thought maybe like he would be the one in control of the dynamic, especially when it came to sex, which is so important to him. And maybe it's just not going down the way he envisioned when he, you know, married a 16-year-old, right?

Maybe people change.

He didn't realize like the 16-year-old he chose was like, you know, had a big good head on her shoulders.

Yeah, no, she really does because she's also 25.

Yeah, and she's more mature than Taylor, than half of them. Taylor's the oldest one. Is that insane? Or no, maybe Jesse is, but Jesse's very mature. Whitney.

Whitney looks so good. Totally like right, like she has to— she's rock solid.

She has to escape, honestly, the show.

Yeah, yeah. No, she's so sound of mind. It's really a strange dichotomy to watch those who are and those who are not.

Yeah, she, she was like, I feel crazy, and you— it's like, you, you are crazy because you're like around crazy people.

Crazy people.

Yeah, so you'd be the only sane individual in a circus.

I just want to say, I loved that they had like a whole shoot day around the title promo, like, that we saw that day. And also we got an explanation for why they're in two separate looks. It's meant to be like a cocoon and then they're both—

Oh, that's funny.

They really look like Butterflies. Stupid. Like so stupid. And what's crazy was there was a lot of intent behind it.

Yeah, yeah, very thoughtful.

And it looked like it just was cobbled together.

Yeah. I will miss my girls. Oh, there's the reunion, right? Do we know anything? Like who's hosting it?

No, but we also have Bachelorette next week.

Oh God. I'm gonna obviously watch 'cause like I'm in it, but I don't foresee myself like sticking with it.

And I do need more clarity on the investigation situation. So that's the recap. Who's your villain of the season after last night?

It's Ben Affleck. Wow. It was, it was upsetting me like deeply. Yeah, maybe that's cuz I related to Whitney. Like, I feel like I'm a really sound of mind individual, like, and I was just like, it was arguing with a crazy person.

Yeah.

And I also related to Whitney that like, if I'm in an argument with someone and it's someone I care about, like, I cry. And it's like, I hate that.

Like, I just, I can't even talk without crying and having to be like, I want to be friend.

Like, it's pathetic.

Like, pathetic.

Yeah.

Are you ready for our next story? Some Disney news. We're getting more info about the Hannah Montana anniversary special. Miley says that Selena will appear in the special.

I feel like a lot of stuff is coming out, like stories, and I'm trying not to read them. Like, I would like to be surprised.

Yeah, I agree. A lot of like quotes of like things that she said, like things about Jax, Chase, and Earl. Like, I didn't mean to kill Hannah, right? Right.

And apparently like Hannah Anna was supposed to be like, take her wig off in the third episode, and then like, you change the premise. Like, I don't want to know. Can I just watch a fucking special in a week?

Just drop now. Like, I'm ready right now, and I'm scared I'm gonna be over it in a week.

No, not over it, but like, can nothing be a surprise?

No, but like, sometimes if it doesn't happen, you know, when things are too far out, yeah, then I forget and I move on. Like, I don't know if I can wait a week. Like, I'm— there's a lot going on. Yeah, there's so much TV on right now. It's true. I didn't get to watch a Southern Charm reunion last night, which I will do. Summer House, but Rehoboth tonight.

Miami has been put on—

that is a story if you want to just segue to the fact that Real Housewives of Miami has been put on pause. Bravo put it on pause amid the low ratings.

So it's just a bad call.

Like, it's the lowest-rated show of Housewives.

Okay, but don't you feel like they get like no promo or anything? Like, I was actually watching a TikTok today that like, you know, Bravo pushes the new— I guess people on the internet are calling it phony— the new Roni. They push it so hard. They put it on after Beverly Hills. Like, whatever gets on after Beverly Hills is the highest-rated Housewives franchise. So whatever airs after it, you get like kind of sloppy seconds. Yes. So it's a way of like promoting—

forgot to give that to Miami.

Like, they— like, say what you want about Miami, okay? Maybe it's not highly rated, but like, it's a very good show. The Housewives are professional Housewives. They are highly engaged. They have wealth. They have drama. Like, it has everything. There's no reason it should be performing so poorly. I don't feel like the network properly— like, I never see those women on Watch What Happens Live. It was like a Peacock original. Like, why don't you give it the actual treatment that you're giving like these shitty-ass franchises? Yeah, Real Housewives of New York, like I was like, I don't know, I feel like this is a bad call.

And I also, I just feel like they think they can do whatever they want with Miami, and they sort of like do. They set principle, like first they canceled it, then they brought it back, then they made it a Peacock original. Like, they're always the trailblazers, Miami, for like true what experiments that they want to run with Housewives.

And I'm sorry, every era of Miami Housewives, no matter what like the ratings are, it's always good. I'm sorry, the women are always wealthy. They are so desperate to make the show work, like they're insane. I always pop in randomly, and I'm sorry, it's always good. Yeah, you cannot say that about other franchises. So like, if it's failing, it's not on the women, it's not on the franchise, it's on the network. Yeah, like, why don't you try— why don't you like support the women at all? I never see them on podcasts. Like, I never see anything.

I also just think Miami as a city is just like a good city to have Housewives. So if it's low ratings or it's not working, like, switch something up. Yeah, to pause it when we watch— like, we have all these other—

like, I mean, the new Vanderpump Rules, like, yeah, they're always like the commercials that are on the busses. Like, I haven't seen one ad ever.

For real. I didn't even know— is Real Home even airing right now? I don't know.

And then the new woman, Stephanie, like, they had good stuff going on.

I watched last season. I didn't watch the reunions, but like, I'm fine with that. And then was there a new season?

No.

Yeah, so I'm caught up. Yeah, you are, except for the reunions, but like, that's fine.

I think this is like such a bad call.

So it's a bad call, not a good call.

Yeah, no, I'm kind of— I'm cosplaying you. This is a bad call.

Well, I agree with your call that it's a bad call, so easy for you to do that.

It's easy.

I'm being supportive of your call. Okay, are you ready for our next story, which is some more TV news?

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Thank you, Tedder Spoon.

You're welcome. What's the next story?

What's next? Right, Cheddar Spoon. Any live update? Brooks Nader, Livy Dunn, and more stars make their red swimsuit debuts on the set of Baywatch. So the first pictures have dropped from Baywatch reboot. The turnaround time is just—

it's so true.

Let's get that energy for the Nightingales, shall we?

It's so true.

Um, Brooks Nader, Shay Mitchell, Libby Dunn, Brooks Nader, Libby Dunn, Noah. Everyone's here.

Noah Beck. Oh, let me see Noah. I didn't see him.

Oh, I saw him in a group photo. Oh, who's that guy? Oh, that's Stephen Amell. Oh my God, Brooks's new boyfriend for sure.

Oh, he's handsome.

Oh my gosh, I'd be I'm so— oh, there's Noah.

I just, I maintain that this show is gonna be bad, but I'm really excited about these photos.

Yeah, they look good.

They look great, like very authentic.

Yeah, this would be a great like magazine cover and like let's call it a day. Yeah, but I'm happy for everyone involved. They seem to be having fun.

When we were talking about Sports Illustrated Swim yesterday, like obviously Brooks for the COVID we didn't like all four of the sisters.

Oh, that would— a four sisters, one cover, four sisters would be So innovative, so iconic. But I do think that Whoopi Goldberg would be more iconic.

Who did I say? Oh, an Olympian. I don't like my answer.

Oh no, someone had a good one. Utah.

Utah Lierdam. Just give it to Utah.

I do have 4 covers. Whoopi Goldberg, Utah Lierdam, Brooke Snader, and who's our 4th?

Jackie O.

Please no.

Like, actually, what is the amount that they would have to pay you?

I don't even want to have this conversation because it's like It's because it's inconceivable, like it's not happening. It's like, it's like talking about like when your dreams— like, objection, relevance.

Okay, I would probably say like $10 million minimum for you.

Okay, I, I think that, you know, they could take it or leave it. So anyways, Baywatch is happening, guys, and they're looking good.

Like, it is looking good. Yeah, but like, this show's not gonna be good. I just want everyone to know that.

Are you ready for our fifth and final story?

I am. Let me tell you I'm fading. Doing the show sick is not—

the show's gonna— this story is gonna bring you back up. Yeah, it's my face. It's Thursday. I don't know if you realized. Masked Singer reveals.

Oh, I actually— I usually keep up every week. I didn't— I didn't see this week.

Two people were revealed.

Oh really?

14-karat carrot.

Oh, was it Judge Mathis?

Yes. Okay, how do you know that?

I read the Reddit. Like, I was on this show. What do you guys want? Like, you think I'm gonna go quietly?

Know everyone who's on? Yeah. Okay, Judge Mathis was the carrot carrot. Slay.

Like, not me in a judge.

And Stingray was revealed as Evan Ross, son of Diana Ross and husband of Ashlee Simpson.

So now I'm convinced Galaxy Girl is even more so Ashlee Simpson. That's cute.

So I think Galaxy Girl is Bridget Mendler, but we shall see.

And then say this yesterday, you're gonna die. Do you know that Ben had, um, Spencer Pratt on The Good Guys? When he came home, he was like, Spencer Pratt was amazing. And I'm like, well, did you talk about Masked Singer? He was like, why would we have talked about Masked Singer? I'm like, how 'How the fuck do you do a podcast? Like, you know nothing.' Like, he was like, 'Was he on it?' I'm like, 'His wife was on my season.' Like, oh my God, you need to talk about it offline with censor.

Yeah, yeah, you guys need a Masked Singer support group.

Do we ever. Like, we need a therapist in there too.

So now here's who's left. Pangolin— who do people say that is?

I think they say it's Normani.

No, Crane.

Oh yeah. I need to look at the pictures. I don't know like who Pangolin is.

So Pangolin, Galaxy Girl, Cat Witch, Pug Caso.

Cat Witch we know is Kylie Contrell. She's like, for the first season ever, they did like somebody who we know and they documented.

Like a secret winner? Yes, exactly.

And they document the whole process like on TikTok.

Cat Witch, Pug Caso, and Crane.

And Crane.

So we just don't know who Pangolin is.

Okay, let me just look at the costume.

Yeah, look at the costume and then let us know what your Redditor says.

Dead.

There's a lot of people left still. It's crazy that you like would have still been there, but not really because it filmed a while ago.

I've never seen this one.

Let me see.

Oh, people think it's Rachel Platten. Obsessed.

Oh, that's good. Maybe she'll win. I think Pocahontas will win if, if they know what's good. If they know what's good. Um, so that's your Masked Singer update. And then I just want to say a couple more things about Slamu, which is that a wife will go on Dancing with the Stars, because why wouldn't they? A wife should go on Traders. Like, I feel like, yeah, I think there's like no more opportunities because modeling didn't work out, but like, there's, there's opportunities.

And like, no offense, why do you want to be a model? Like, modeling for a lot of people is like a means, but like, you're already wealthy and famous. Like, what the hell do you want to model for? Like, live in New York?

I don't know. But she also, if she does want to model like for real, she has to get a dramatic haircut.

Absolutely.

I was actually thinking about, did you see Miranda's haircut? No, she looks unbelievable. A couple days ago she got a bob. She looks insane.

She's very pretty.

She's, she's beautiful.

What's her last name?

Miranda Hope. Now she goes by—

oh, right, right. Oh, I don't really like it.

What, what picture are you looking at?

A TikTok.

Okay, go to a different—

I'm seeing it in action.

Okay, but— oh, actually, maybe she's just learning the Wuthering Heights Maybe she's learning how to style it. It kind of ages her. She looks amazing. She looks mature.

Okay, so her and Whitney comment on each other's photos like they're so good. I guess that's good. Yeah, like, let's see who comments on Whitney's stuff. Even though they all comment on everyone's stuff.

Yeah, remember they said they're so scared not to? Yeah, which was just so funny. I can't— like, sometimes I just like can't even think of what to comment. Like, I want to be supportive, but I'm like, what do I say here? Go.

They're gay comments on her stuff.

Go, girl.

Michaela. Demi. I really— I think that her and Michaela, like, I, I like their friendship.

I think Demi should go on Masked Singer. I think, um, amazing comments. I think Jesse should go on Traitors. Jesse should go on Traitors. And I think, like, I need it.

I need Jesse to have her moment. Like, I need her to get divorced first, and like, I need her to like then have her like big moment.

Yeah, well, it seems like people get a moment after a divorce.

Yeah. So do Jessie next.

Jessie next.

Um, okay, listen, I love you. We have to wrap this up.

I'm like, seriously, you don't want to think of more, more opportunities for the girls?

Uh, let's talk about tomorrow. Okay.

Okay.

And you wrap up.

Let's sleep on it.

Yeah.

Thank you guys so much for listening to The Toast, the best show on Earth. We love you dearly and we will see you tomorrow. Love ya. Bye. Aber was ich noch erzählen wollte: Meine Nichte kämpft sich ja ganz schön durchs Studium. Semesterbeitrag, Laptop, Bücher, Software, Handy, Internet. Ey, so ein Master ist echt teuer. Ach, sag ihr, sie kann sich das zurückholen. Ja, du meinst von der Steuer absetzen, ne? Aber sie verdient ja nicht. Egal! Zauberwort: Verlustvortrag. Macht sie ganz einfach mit WISO Steuer. Und wenn sie dann arbeitet, heißt es Katsching! Das geht?

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