Transcript of JuJu's Top 5 Things We Do Not Need | Postgame Show

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Episode summary

This Dan Le Batard Show postgame episode covers a mix of sports and pop culture. The hosts discuss a viral free throw form, the WNBA champion parade, and awards given to Mike Ryan and the City of Plantation for honoring Greg Cote.

JuJu presents a top five list of things the world did not need, including Rocky V and D-Wade's calves, which the hosts admit were made up for comedy. The show then debates the midterm election results, with Greg Cote arguing that Democrats mainly benefited from anger at Trump, while Dan Le Batard points to money in politics and the role of wealthy donors.

The episode closes with listener poll results on pencils, pets and childhood games.

In this episode Dan Le Batard, Greg Cote

This Postgame Show episode's transcript, covering JuJu's top five list and midterm results, was made with the technology behind HappyScribe's AI note taker for Zoom.

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Dan Le Batard00:00:52

I think Greg Cody set a record for trying to start a thought without saying anything. Let's count together the number of seconds that Greg Cody goes here without saying anything anyone understood. Understand what you're doing.

Greg Cote00:01:07

It wouldn't be.

Dan Le Batard00:01:09

No, it was longer than that. You guys must have cut—you must have cut that short because it was about twice as long as that. Play it again. Understand what you're doing.

Greg Cote00:01:20

It wouldn't be.

Speaker 400:01:20

We do usually shorten those.

Tony00:01:22

Yeah, when something's funny, we take out half of it.

Dan Le Batard00:01:25

As if you wouldn't. As if you wouldn't.

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Tony00:01:27

Brother, I don't know who you're talking to.

Dan Le Batard00:01:29

At Le Batard Show is where you vote and how you vote on the polls. We're bringing in JuJu now. What did we forget, JuJu? What did we handle poorly? What did we fail to get to?

JuJu00:01:39

Ah, man. We just forgot one thing, I think, over the last couple of days. And just for the reminder of the audience, when the hood is up, it's a very sad day. Congratulations again to Golden State Valkyrie for beating the Atlanta Dream in the WNBA Finals. Today is their parade, and my algorithm is algorithming. Neither here nor there, we forgot to mention Lil' Sis with the worst free throw form I have ever seen in my entire life.

I'm not bringing it up to pile on to Sis. I'm bringing it up because, man, we need to get Sis some help. For the listening audience and the viewing audience, imagine this: Bill Cartwright meets Sean Merriman doing the lights-out dance. That's how she shoots a free throw. If you haven't saw it, haven't seen it, Google it. You will be disappointed.

Dan Le Batard00:02:33

Yeah, everyone is mocking that. And I thought you were going to say Sean Merriman because of how he shot, but the lights-out dance is a better—no, but the lights-out dance is a better—everyone is making fun of that free throw form because it's not something any of us have ever seen before.

JuJu00:02:49

Right, right. So somebody—she at the D1 level too, man. Coach need to get with Sis and say, "Come on now. We got to do this the right way." Unless it's a loose tendon in the shoulder or something that I don't know about, get with her soon if so. But I don't know, bro. Get in the gym, Sis.

Dan Le Batard00:03:05

Any awards to give out today? Was anyone award-worthy today? I didn't feel like Zaz was. Zaz was bothering Hank Azaria. I was interrupting Hank Azaria. I don't think we deserved any awards today.

JuJu00:03:17

Nah, man. He stalled my brother Zaz out. He was good. Man, it was funny as hell. The YouTube loved that part of the interview. But I got an award, man. The Daniel Day-Lewis Award, man. I got to give it to somebody else, man. My brother, Mike Ryan, man.

Tony00:03:33

Good job, Mike.

JuJu00:03:34

Nick Cage as John Madden.

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Tony00:03:36

DDL. Good job. I want one here.

JuJu00:03:41

Yes, sir, man. And last award, I would like to give the It's About Damn Time Award to the City of Plantation for finally making a proclamation to the nation for my boy, single G, Greg Cody.

Tony00:03:59

Yeah, single G.

Dan Le Batard00:04:01

Yeah, G.

Tony00:04:02

Exactly.

Dan Le Batard00:04:04

Do you have a top five list of any kind for us here, JuJu, before we get to the polls?

JuJu00:04:09

Yes, sir, man. Last night I was watching Greg McIlroy. He was aggravating me for some reason. Greg McIlroy, during the ranking show, he was giving me too many spoilers. So I was like, "Bro, we don't need you right now. We don't need this whole situation." I'm not the biggest—have the biggest knowledge on the college football rankings. But every time I hear about them folks, they got some shit going. So I feel like we don't need something that's going on. So it made me think, top five things that we did not need.

You dig it?

Dan Le Batard00:04:41

Sports or all over life?

JuJu00:04:45

All over life. You dig? That I could think of.

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Tony00:04:48

Mask. Perhaps mask. The vaccine. My hood is up too.

JuJu00:04:56

Number five, Rocky V. Cenano. Bro, we should have went straight to Babula, man. Bro, I don't know what the hell happened with that one. Number four, coming to America. Cenano.

Tony00:05:13

I second that one.

JuJu00:05:14

Man, total embarrassment, man. I got secondhand embarrassment looking at this. It's so bad. Number three, Rossi versus Serrano.

Tony00:05:24

Cenano. After 17 seconds.

JuJu00:05:29

Right, bro. I was hyped for this fight, bro. And you know I'm an ally. Come on now. Support women's sports. I'm supporting. But come on, Sis. Come on, older Sis. We could have done a little something. Look like nobody trained. Not here nor there. Number two, D-Wade on the calves, man.

Tony00:05:45

Cenano.

JuJu00:05:46

We ain't need that, bro.

Tony00:05:47

That never happened.

JuJu00:05:48

Yeah, we ain't need that at all.

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Tony00:05:50

We made it up.

JuJu00:05:51

I can't even play about that one. And the number one thing that we did not need to make America great again, my brothers and sisters.

Tony00:06:00

Cenano.

JuJu00:06:01

We ain't need it. It was great. Back to you, Danno.

Dan Le Batard00:06:04

Let's update the polls here at Le Batard Show, I think. Greg Cody, you didn't have any thoughts for us, Greg. We didn't get anything from you on what you thought about the midterm results last night.

Greg Cote00:06:19

I think the Democrats were the residual beneficiary of an utter repudiation of Trump. I don't know that it was the Democrats are great. We're now a blue nation. I just think it was so much.

Dan Le Batard00:06:37

No, you do know that, actually.

Greg Cote00:06:38

So much.

Dan Le Batard00:06:38

No, no. You do know that. You know that that's not what it was.

Greg Cote00:06:41

It was so much animus against Trump that anybody running against Trump's ticket would have won last night.

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Dan Le Batard00:06:48

It wasn't just Trump, though. They also said no to Elon Musk in a pretty spectacular way. And the idea of buying elections, like the idea of being able to spend your way in Texas to getting the results you want. It wasn't just Trump. It was a whole bunch of rich people. Look, the money disparity in this country is problematic enough with all of the affordability that a whole lot of people are voting just because they're angry about their situation and they're blaming whoever's in charge. And they've been changing it back and forth for 10 years now because the Gulf keeps growing.

Let's get to those polls at Le Batard Show, JuJu. What do we have?

JuJu00:07:24

Is the standalone eraser endangered? 89% of the audience says, "Yes, it is." Oh, unfair. Best pencil. Number one, number two, and number three. 95% of the audience says, "Number two."

Tony00:07:45

What's your sheep?

JuJu00:07:48

Tony, what's the name of that pencil I need for the pencil buyer?

Tony00:07:51

Ticonderoga, baby. Ticonderoga right there. The champ. It went against the bat and won. It dented the bat down.

JuJu00:07:56

Girthy. Damn. Is the eraser at the end of the pencil intentional obsolescence? Is that how I say it, Dan? 77% of the audience says, "Yes, it is." Are all city commission meetings sad? 95% of the audience says, "Yes, they are."

Is it pencil fight or pencil break? 60% of the audience says, "Pencil fight." Do you wish your pet could talk? 74% of the audience says, "Yes, they do." And last poll, which did you play more as a kid? Pencil fight or paper football? 87% of the audience says, "Paper football," and those are your polls.

Dan Le Batard00:09:01

Looking for whether you're looking at the college football playoff or whether you're looking ultimately at the top 200 songs on the Rolling Stone list where you see Future Islands at 174. Why do they come in at that ranking? It's the standout moments that exist for them. It's the standout late night with David Letterman, The Late Show. And you see Wolf Parade, I Believe in Anything. That was on heated rivalry. Speaking of heated rivalries, Tennessee and Alabama, when will that head-to-head matter as the margins shrink? The margins that we're looking at start to shrink at the college.

JuJu00:09:33

Bye-bye.

Episode description

"We made it up."

Mike Ryan's new impression wins an award, as does the City of Plantation for finally honoring Greg Cote. Is the eraser at the end of a pencil intentional obsolescence?
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