Transcript of The Onion Wants To Buy a Bowl Game? | Hour 2 (feat. Ben Collins)

Time for some accountability.

Yeah.

Now, that video had a lot of issues with it, but the main one is: it was artificial intelligence.

What?

What? Tony? I'm sorry, superintelligence. Tony? You've been bad today.

Yeah, get out of here.

Terrible.

I was really excited to talk to this guy.

You've been terrible today.

Only two minutes for a shit contribution.

Get out.

Hey, you know what?

Don't take it out on that guy.

I'm not excited.

I'm terrible.

I was excited to talk to this guy.

Hand up. Please show yourself out.

Here's the thing about my sharpness when it comes to people being terrible.

All right, don't worry, I got us.

Get him out of here.

I got it.

I accept that.

What?

I accept me being terrible. Hey, I'm trying to be accountable. I'm trying to be accountable.

Minor penalty, two minutes. Murdering the show with your bare hands in a dismemberment kit in cold blood.

You can't fall for AI, Tony. You're the young one around here. I told you in the meeting before the show, get better at your prep. You're sloppy.

Please show yourself out.

You're sloppy. You just fooled the whole show with a gutted fish video of Gardner Minshu. Ben Collins is here. I really admire him for a lot of different reasons. Ben, The Onion is the what-biggest newspaper in America right now.

We are the fifth, but hopefully by the end of the year we will be either the third or the fourth.

Not hopefully. We want newspapers that are real to be stronger than your fake newspaper.

Yes, that's a very good point. But I will say, the one that I do want to beat is Jeff Bezos' Washington Post, because I think that would be very good karmic justice. Everybody else can beat us, though.

Karmic justice, you believe, is the apocalypse, the falling earth, and The Onion being the number one newspaper in America at a time of fake news. You think that's karmic justice.

Yeah, it's what we deserve, unfortunately.

So for those of you who do not know what a newspaper is, and for those of you who do not know what The Onion is, it's a really funny writing. Funny is the hardest thing, and it's the funniest newspaper there's ever been. But the reason I admire this person beyond that is the fight that he has undertaken against info wars is noble, admirable, and I imagine life-destroying, because these people don't fight fair and they're awful. And these people that have been gaining power in America have guns and are threatening. And you, your life has been what, running this newspaper since you started to try since you've successfully bought info wars.

So it's been harder, but I will say it's been better, because when you have this level of purpose, when you're fighting a clear bad guy, right, your life gets a little bit easier. It gets easier to wake up, because you know you got a guy that on the other end of the table you still got to take down. And that's what we've been doing at Alex Jones for the last couple of years. We've been in a long, protracted struggle to get the Sandy Hook families their stuff that Alex Jones owes them $1.5 billion and he has not paid a cent.

Okay, so but I do want, for those of you who do not know the backstory here, Pablo Tory finds out, did this with Ben, and they tell you more of this story. But you put a smile on it. Now, you're not really talking about what the trauma of this was, because you chose a thing that you had no idea how scary it you were making a joke at the beginning, and then all of a sudden the people with guns want their stuff back.

Yeah. So basically, again, like I said, Alex Jones owes the Sandy Hook families over a billion dollars, because he lost the defamation suit to them, because he harassed these people, many of them out of their homes, many of them had to flee the state, many of them had their kids' graves desecrated by his fans. So all of his stuff was for sale at auction, but the auction was eight days after the 2024 election, so no one was going to bid on it except for us and Alex Jones' people through a shell company.

So did you get into any of this with a noble cause?

Oh, yeah, of course. The Onion itself or Infowars?

I was talking about the beginnings. No, obviously, Infowars is all about bullying a guy who bullied people at their most vulnerable, about as despicable and awful a thing you can do with information to torture people who are already under the most immense of pain. But I'm just talking about getting into the funny papers.

Yeah, so I used to be a reporter. I used to cover I used to cover extremists, bad guys, things like that. I got in trouble at work for being too mean to Elon Musk, because I'm like, what he's up to? Recently. And for a long time, he really wanted to buy The Onion. That was a huge thing that he wanted to do. And then he instead bought Twitter and did all these other things. But I saw that The Onion was for sale, and I didn't have any money, because I was a reporter. Those are antithetical concepts. So when I saw it was for sale, I posted on the internet.

I have a question. How much of the audience did you keep?

Oh, from Infowars?

Do you have any metrics? Because I wonder, there's got to be a we're not talking about the brightest bunch, right? So I'm wondering if you actually tricked anybody into falling for what the satire is going for, and also if any of the existing audience was like, you know what, this is pretty funny. I'm going to stick around.

Well, it's got to be some of it. We sell a fake supplement drink called Hog Water that tastes like pigs, and it really does taste like it tastes like pig water. It's disgusting. So some of it definitely carries over. Some people are mad that we took it from him, but some people haven't noticed. That's definitely the case that some people are dumb enough that they're just they don't even know they're being made fun of while they're being made fun of.

So when I was watching an old episode of Nathan for You, and he started a dumb Starbucks, and he didn't realize what would be spawned by bringing spoof to the universe, and it was a legitimate business. Is business going better than you expected?

Oh, yeah. By the way, the lady who created who found that dumb Starbucks, the founder of the company to take over and call it Dumb Starbucks, is running programming at Infowars right now for us. So we have the best of the best in terms of duping morons. But look, it's been going great for us. And I will say this, I think people get scared because we're in a scary environment, and there's like five guys with all the money in the world, and people are afraid to piss them off. Once you step up, regular people will come behind you and fight with you.

What were the biggest surprises that emerged along this path of you unexpected things that have happened in terms of, well, I started thinking I was doing this, but now I've got a life cause?

Yeah, I think when we went into it, we knew that we were going to find out if there was a rule of law anymore, if judges in Texas were going to intervene on Alex's behalf and all this stuff. And they have repeatedly. They have repeatedly tried to make it so Alex doesn't have to give up his Smith machine. For some reason, he loaded up all of his bicep curl machines and stuff and put it in his office so he wouldn't have to lose it.

Sometimes reality almost reads like something in The Onion to me. To what degree has the Donald Trump era been just an absolute goldmine?

Oh, it's been tremendous for us. For example, the traditional news, they don't say the word pedophile at all. I don't hear that at all. We say it all the time. We say it like once a day in whatever story. So we are allowed to you know the conversations you have at the gas station or whatever? We're allowed to put that in print, the things that are just like rumbling throughout America. But the difference is, we have the best comedy writers in the world. So they come down to the best five or six-word sentences every single day.

You sound almost hopeful or that there's been some learning for you here that when you fight for principled things, you're surprised by the army that gathers behind you.

Yeah. I don't know if I'm surprised. I'm weirdly still optimistic about stuff. I don't know if that can we still do that? Is that against the law? Are we allowed to okay, you can't fight.

Did you see the Malachy Tony news?

No, I didn't. Okay, well, there you go. Sorry. I just think generally, the whole arc of history bends toward justice thing, I think that's generally true. Otherwise, why would we get up every day and do stuff? What's the point? And I just like perfume wearing.

That's so nihilistic.

I know.

Why get up in the morning unless you're going to fight Alex Jones over Infowars?

Yeah, no, I think he's right about this.

Yeah, exactly.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I always general. People who agree with me are wearing football helmets. So thank you for saying that.

You're welcome.

Yeah.

And.

Yes, look, I am. I think I'm optimistic about where most people's brains are at in terms of their morality. And all you got to do is be the first person to put your foot forward, and we're trying to give people a permission structure to do that.

What are the funniest things that you found when you went through Alex Jones' stuff, and what are the funniest parts of him fighting to keep his stuff?

Oh, my God. He was addicted to buying domain names in the middle of the night. That was my favorite thing. He owns a website called goblinlove.net. I don't even know what he was going to do with that. Was that like a dating site? I don't know for sure. He has an armored tank. We accidentally, in the auction, we didn't do it on purpose, but there was a point at which we owned $3.5 million worth of supplements in a warehouse, and we didn't know.

That can't be why you do these kinds of things.

What kind of hurdles have you encountered in trying to secure the naming rights to a bowl game?

Oh, my God, yeah, we're trying to buy a bowl game. Oh, it's tough. So here's the deal.

Barstool did it?

Right. I do think it's one of those things where if it was like the Palantir dog murdering bowl, we would have no problems.

No problem.

Yeah, it would just be like, you can just go and you can do the Andereal kill a child bowl or something, it would be okay. But since this is The Onion, it's a little complicated. So we've had some problems. But we tried to buy the New Orleans bowl because it was in the Superdome. That would have been sick. And it's also in New Orleans. You guys have been to New Orleans. Nobody can have a bad time in New Orleans.

I can't imagine how much fun you guys would have parroting everything in sports with a bowl game.

Yes, and that's the game plan. So we've been trying as hard as we can. We've been trying to work with ESPN, as you know, they can be a little persnickety about having fun with sports. I don't know if you know about this. Have you heard about this? But look, we're trying to get over the line. I'll do a direct-to-camera thing. Hey, ESPN guys, listen up. We're not going to do we're not going to mess we're not going to say anything stupid about anything that's going on on ESPN. We're going to do a firm handshake cam.

It's ESPN's the problem?

Yeah, it's ESPN.

It's just ESPN?

It's just ESPN.

That's it?

They own like 80% of the bowl games. It's okay, guys. It's fine. We'll figure it out. They'll come to their senses. I trust them.

What?

I know.

How do you know?

What's up, Bad Tone and yellow to ESPN? It's our sweet spot.

I think the Le Batard Show should start a bowl game and give the rights to The Onion. Yeah. I'm sure ESPN would prefer to give it to me than The Onion.

No bad ideas.

Just an idea, right? So did you find a hone for those boner pills? Oh, yeah. Do you need some? I mean, yeah.

Dan Le Batard.

I do agree with Greg.

Why are you talking so slow?

Why are you talking so slow? Opens need to win this opener.

It's because you can hear yourself. It's kind of awkward.

Greg. What do you mean?

Greg, do you have a back of my day?

A what?

Greg Coty.

I stand behind Greg for not doing back in my days anymore. You all have him singing songs and doing so many ancillary things that it's ridiculous, and you know it.

Talk faster.

Why are you talking so slow?

I'm talking at my normal speed. My wife loves this deep, sexy voice, I'll tell you that.

There you go. How would you talk to her with it?

Yeah, baby.

This is the Dan Le Batard Show.

Jeremy, is the petition up and running? Is it live?

It is. It is. It actually features a photo of Greg Coty in New Orleans, which is exciting. So it's just the synchronicity there. That's my dad in New Orleans.

Ben Collins, is that or is that not Greg Coty, the man sitting across from you? I want you to look at that picture and tell us whether it is or isn't Greg Coty.

See how embarrassed he is.

It's one to one.

So the change.org petition is called Rename Plantation Florida to Cotyville. And underneath the issue, the first sentence here is, for the last 35 years, Greg Coty has been a small private individual who was called Plantation Florida his home. As a legendary Miami Herald columnist, he's the kind of guy who has woven his life into the fabric of the city and beyond.

All right, so please get the graphic team and the video team on top of getting people to go to that petition to see if we could get the name of Plantation changed in these times in 2026. Ben Collins, as I mentioned, he used to be with the Daily Beast and NBC News, a real reporter, and now what he's doing is, in some ways, more important because people could use some laughter with their news. The future of The Onion looks like what to you? Because newspapers are dying all over the place.

Yeah, it looks like a lot of things. First of all, we're bringing our sports section's growing. For some reason this year, we didn't really have a plan for it, but our sports section went nuts. For example, we had Christopher Sanchez, the Phillies pitcher, after the Field of Dreams game. We had a headline that said, "Foreign player has no idea why he's in a cornfield right now." And he held that up on the team bus on his Instagram account. We just have we've got some juice right now.

Yeah, yeah. Let's talk about that one. The reaction to that one was on the line.

It was spicy. Yeah, it was a spicy headline.

On the line. It was shocking when I saw it. I couldn't believe you guys went that.

I think that's over the line. I don't think that's on the line. I think that crosses the line.

No, I completely agree with you. We got to fire that guy. It's terrible. But we've had this long history of very stupid my favorite onion sports headline of all time is Shaq misses second half with pulled pork sandwich. There's just absolutely no better sentence than that. The economy of that sentence is just perfect. So we're expanding more into sports, and part of that is we're bringing in Kenny Mayne from Old Sports Center days, who is a delightful guy.

He's great, and he's funny, and his deadpan will fit right in at The Onion. The Pablo Tori episode, Pablo Tori finds out that it's being done with Ben today, covers the entirety of the bowl game they're trying to get. Can you tell us more about this quest? Like what you believe it's going to happen, and it's not just general sense of optimism?

Oh, yeah. Trust me, we've been working on it for months and months. So two years ago, I think I was watching the Pop Tarts Bowl, and I said, it's time for two years from now, I'll be posting the Onion Sex Bowl. It'll be nine quarters long, and there's no penalty for repping the kicker. And a guy named Matt Brown, who runs a blog called Extra Points, said, this is more doable than you'd imagine. He had personally bought the rights to the Division III National Championship Constellation game for $5,000.

Well, I'd like to do some stupid stuff with you, whether it's there or elsewhere. So can you tell me how it is that I can go into business with you and Hogwater? I want Hogwater to be a grid of death punishment. I want to know how much Hogwater you have sold. I want Hogwater to sponsor segments on this show. I want Hogwater to be something that we're selling because we're trying to help The Onion.

Yeah, well, the Hogwater proceeds go to the Sandy Duck families. And also, I will say this, you should really not commit to this until you taste it.

Oh, no, I'm not going to taste it. What I want to do, though, is I want to go into business. I want to know more about Hogwater. I want to know more it tastes terrible. It would be a grid of death punishment.

Yeah, I had a whole can. The first time I had a whole can of it, it made my bones radiate. It was like I was stuck in an MRI machine. That's what it felt like the whole time.

I want some. The single strangest thing, situation that you have found yourself in since embarking on this Info Wars thing? Because you're putting a sunny face on it now because you've got purpose and you've lived through it, but there has to be times in this that not only were you feeling overwhelmed, you were feeling threatened.

Oh, yeah. The last time Alex Jones spoke publicly, he threatened to guillotine us, which is very scary, and I get it. But the thing is, at my last job, I used to cover extremists all the time, and I just kind of got used to it. And I will say, the best part about it is people always ask me, how do you know this is going to work? How do you know this is working? And I always say, when's the last time you heard Alex Jones talk? Do you guys remember?

I heard him say that Donald Trump's a secret Democrat yesterday.

Oh, OK, well. You're just hanging out watching a show or something.

Tell my algo, that'll tell you a little something.

Oh, well, there you go. Well, there you go. That's a good answer. But yeah, I didn't know that, and he is. Donald Trump is a secret Democrat. He loves democracy.

How often do you guys get sued?

We get cease and desist very frequently, and then we write a letter back saying, this is the first amendment of the Constitution, and there are other ones, but this is like the first one, and they go away. We're definitely between the lines legally, and we're excited about that, but sometimes we get, you know, from governors to probably the most famous celebrity in the world very recently, we get nasty grams from them consistently.

Who is that?

I can't say. I can't say it.

Initials?

OK.

No.

Roy, can you get me some music for a game, Real or The Onion? I want to play a game in these times of headlines, if they're Real or The Onion.

It's a quality follow-up by us, though.

I mean, he said the most famous celebrity in the world.

Yep, yep, that was a good follow-up.

Can we?

Worth a shit.

I don't know who is that? Who is the most famous celebrity in the world? You guys want he can't talk about it, but I don't know who that is. Who wants to play.

Heather Dinich.

A game of Real or The Onion? Who would be the best person to play this game with? Give me some game show music that is canned and.

That's right. It's time to play Real or The Onion. Woo! Taking it away. Here's your host, Daniel Le Batard.

Let's all point and laugh at Elon Musk. Real or The Onion?

Is it The Onion?

That one's real, but you would know you shouldn't be playing. I can't believe you got it wrong. You shouldn't know.

It's a good headline.

Don't you know what is in The Onion and what is not in The Onion? Greg Coty, Trump says he'll accept the rules after weeks of priming voters to doubt them. Real or The Onion?

Got to be real.

It is indeed real. Zazlow, Trump asking advisors if hexaths should stay after midterm losses. Real or The Onion?

Real.

That is also real. Mike Ryan, Iran's chief negotiator, says Americans voted no to war. Real or The Onion?

Real.

Also real. Chris Coty, Rupert does.

I guess real.

Rupert does not want to be with a loser. Murdoch's media empire cools on Trump. Real or The Onion?

Real.

Also real. How is the CEO of The Onion is the only one that got one of these wrong. Russia confirms new Ukraine peace talks as Melania Trump prepares to host ceasefire meeting. Roy, Real or The Onion?

Real.

That is correct.

OK.

Jeremy, French blood banks targeted by refrigerator cyber attack. Real or The Onion?

The Onion.

No, that is real. So Jeremy and Ben are the only ones who are wrong here. You want to tell people again how they can support what The Onion is doing? Writing funny is the hardest thing, right? It's the most difficult thing?

It is the hardest thing. I will say we have a process here at The Onion that's been the same for 30 years. We have 15 writers that go into a writer's room every day. They come in with 10 headlines. They leave with like one. That's how we end up with a good, good headline. You can support The Onion by going to theonion.com. You can go to onionmembership.com/bowlgame if you want a $25 off gift discount. It's worth getting The Onion in the mail. It's a good gift. It's the only good thing that shows up in your mailbox, so go get it.

How has the Hogwater sold?

Way too well, considering we jokingly priced it at $69. So get some. I'll trust you guys. I'll send you a pallet of them, and if you guys survive, we can talk after.

But it's all a good cause. I mean, you're doing in all seriousness, OK, I don't know whether you're a father or not. I don't know why it is or how it is that you arrived at taking on the threat sort of gleefully of burying someone who was doing the very worst of things to people who were already in the very worst of pain. And what you're doing is noble, so explain to people the whys and hows of how you came to make this a life mission.

Yeah, so again, I used to cover extremists, and that was not a look, I'm a goofball idiot dumbass, and I used to cover stupid stuff on the internet. And then one day, I woke up, and my friend's girlfriend was shot and killed on live TV. Her name was Alison Parker. She was a news anchor in Roanoke, Virginia. And the guy had live streamed the murder on a GoPro on Facebook. It was terrible. And I just kept following that story, and what I realized is that every time I googled her name, the first thing that would come up was like lies or people saying she was in the CIA or she wasn't real or whatever.

Must be so satisfying for them to bury this fool.

It is. We talked to them after the first time we did an episode, and they were so excited. And one of them said they were listening to it, and they were laughing, and their wife was in the other room. And their wife said, why are you listening to that guy? We don't listen to that guy in this house. And he's like, it's not that guy. It's Tim Heidecker doing this guy. And that's when we knew we were doing something real and profound and important.

It is so hard to make those people laugh with the pain they carry. Just amazing stuff you do. So thank you, sir, for everything you're doing. Pablo Tory finds out. Is he helping you with the cause to buy the bowl game or just shouting to the sky, we need to let The Onion buy a bowl game?

He's shouting to the sky, but the shouting to the sky, I think, will get us over the line here.

I hope so, if we didn't ruin it. Because now that ESPN sees you near me, that's not going to help any of your causes.

It's all good. It's all good. Coming on here should help.

Boner pills? You want the boner pills? Instead of the Hog drink, whatever it is, the Hog pills.

Want some Hog pills.

I want it all, baby.

What happened to the armored tank?

Oh, good question. He still has the armored tank. That's the saddest part about this whole thing. It's still just hanging out in his driveway. We need to get that armored tank.

Got to get it, man.

I know. I agree with you.

That's a follow-up.

That's a great question.

Hell yeah.

That is a great question. It really is.

I'm curious. I thought maybe Ben was driving around.

Lean for the back.

What do I know?

Lean for the back or away from the mic.

But Ben laughing.

We're done for the day. Take the rest of the day off. You talk about karmic justice. Ben laughing at the idea that Alex Jones gets to keep his armored tank?

Yeah, I know.

When he's threatened to guillotine you guys because these people don't have a sense of humor about themselves. When you talk about karmic from the beyond, parents of kids who are dead who are owed $1.5 billion by this fool who cannot possibly ever pay them, to be able to spend the rest of their lives with your help, the smartest writers, making fun of this person in a way that enrages him?

Yeah, it's great.

It's unbelievable.

Dan Le Batard.

Is there a back in my dang?

There is, actually.

What?

Are you not going to tell anyone?

What?

Wait a minute.

You guys.

What?

Guys.

What am I even doing this for?

It's a Tuesday.

Greg Coty, here's your guide. Greg Coty with Back in my Day.

Shit, I hope I have it. OK, here it is. Sorry. Adultery.

That was.

We are back.

We're waiting for this one.

This is the Dan Le Batard Show.

Howdy, folks. Welcome to big game or not a big game with Jonathan Zazlow.

Oh, yes. A lot going on in college football this weekend. Big game or not a big game? Who wants to crack at it first? How about Chris Coty, big game or not a big game? What do you got?

All righty. Big game or not a big game? I guess I'll pick a football game.

Oh, boy.

Oh, jeez.

I mean, uh-oh.

I wasn't expecting you to go to me first.

All right.

Dan, my meter's ringing. Alabama LSU.

Oh, Dan. Alabama number five in the college football playoff rankings, LSU number 14. This is what you call an elimination game. That's right. Neither of these teams can afford to lose. It was a little bit surprising Alabama ranked as high as they were by the committee. But hey, hang with them. Alabama, LSU, that's a big game.

Big game.

Big game or not.

I'm sorry, Zaz. What's the use of hey, hang with them? I'm just.

Oh, that's what you say.

You do say that.

Thank you.

That's what you say.

Valuable.

Big game or not a big game? Chris, let's come back to you.

Nah, I just I'm still working.

This time less terrible.

Still working on it.

You're ready for me?

Wonderful.

I went.

Big game or not a big game? Tony?

High Noon, The Holy War, BYU, Utah, big game or not a big game?

Oh, High Noon used to be a show with Bohmani and Pablo. But we're talking about High Noon. You know about that Holy War, Dan? Dan, you know about that Holy War? Number nine, BYU. Number three, Utah. The winner of this game, Holy War, means you're in charge of all the religion in the world. Amazing stakes here.

Or just Utah?

That's not right.

Incredible stakes.

That's not in any way accurate.

Between Utah and BYU.

I think it's just the Mormons, by the way.

We're talking about potential buy in the college football playoff. That's what's on the line here. BYU, Utah, Holy War, that's a big game.

Big game.

Big game or not a big game? Let's try Chris again. Not terrible.

Alabama LSU.

I did that.

Go to Jeremy.

Oh, my god. Jeremy, big game or not a big game?

Big game looking for back-to-back wins on the West Coast for your Miami Heat. Heat at Warriors.

Now you're talking my language tonight, Dan. Heat and Warriors. National television. Can you imagine if the Heat if Clay Thompson doesn't make that shot last night, my favorite little basketball team goes into Golden State tonight at let's see, what was the record? They were two and five. It'd be two and six. You think I need that in my life? No, no, no. But Clay made that shot. So now we have what's called a little bit of momentum. The Heat have won three of their last four games. Heat, Warriors.

You've devalued the big game.

That's a big game.

The big game no longer means anything.

That's a big game right there. All right, one more time. Chris, big game or not a big game?

I'm going to the dentist tomorrow.

OK, what are you having done?

Cleaning.

When's the last time you were there?

Don't even talk about it.

All right, well, that means we're looking at a deep cleaning if he doesn't want to admit, Greg, when the last time he was there. It also means the person who cleans, you know the hygienist, I forget their name real quick. The hygienist. You didn't remember either, Dan.

They're called the stewardess.

Yeah, no, no, we don't call them stewardesses anymore. The hygienist, when she's cleaning your teeth, she's going to say to you.

She's always a girl.

When's the last time you flossed? And you're going to lie. You got to lie.

Often.

That's a good one.

Everybody they can't tell. It's a trick.

Yeah.

They want you to believe that they could tell. No, no. I always say, oh, I floss every day. Like, good, I could tell. I'm like, OK.

Yeah.

Dentist, big game or not a big game? That's a big game.

Big game.

Everybody knows that.

Probably cancel it.

And that right there is another edition of big game or not a big game.

Roy, get me the stat of the day music, please, because I think I'm going to stun the crew and the audience. Go ahead and play the stat of the day music, please.

Stat of the day, stat of the day. Did they see a stat of the day? Stat of the day, stat of the day. Did they see a stat of the day? Stat of the day, stat of the day. Did they see a stat of the day? Start of the day, start of the day. Did they see a stat of the day?

Clay Thompson has never hit that shot. Five seconds or less left in fourth quarter overtime. Not regular season, not postseason, not any point in his career has Clay Thompson hit the shot that he hit last night after.

Come on, man. It's not over with you. Out of here.

Tony, you've been terrible today.

Come on. Stupid.

You guys are surprised by that, are you not? That Clay Thompson has never hit a game-winning shot.

I am, but he's also not the guy you go to in that spot considering the roster. Everyone knows, especially Max Kellerman, that it's always Andre Aguiredala.

Man, Giannis is the inbounder on that one.

How about that pick?

Oh, my god.

Did Bam on a bio do a cross-body splash to take out two guys? That was crazy.

He says it's the best pick of his career.

They were excited when they I like that. They needed that shot so bad. They were so excited. Even Spoat. Did you see Eric Spoelstra? There was like a do we have the video of this? I believe we do. Where there's a camera, Dan, that is on Spoat for this inbound pass and just going through the range of emotions. As you see there, he's relieved that the shot went in. And now you got the airball on the half-court heave. I mean, how badly did Spoat need that?

Chris Quinn.

Look how angry they were.

Chris Quinn shoves him in the chest. Come on, put a smile on that face.

Spoat looks good.

Hair looking lush.

He's looking better.

You give the guy a few boner pills and all of a sudden you can't stop him.

That's right.

One of the things I don't know if you guys have noticed this, but it is something that I've seen a lot in college football. And I'm a bit surprised that Eric Spoelstra, as long as he's been in it, that nine games into the season, no matter what's happening at the end of a regular season game, that he's not more stoic than that when I've seen Kurt Cignetti at the end of all of these games. He seems totally relaxed. Like he's got no there doesn't seem to be an ounce of stress on him in what's happening at the end of these football games.

So I mean, is Spoat telling you there that he feels pressure? Because Kurt Cignetti definitely does not feel pressure.

Well, that seems obvious to me, that whatever Spoat does to himself, I am surprised, just given what I have seen. And it's not just Cignetti. I've seen this from a bunch of college coaches who just sort of they are deadpan on not feeling pressure late in games. And I know this guy to be the best in the business in this sport. I know him to be almost famously stoic. He's living and dying with what's happening in the last few seconds of a game against the Clippers.

He got angrier at his coaching staff last night in, I believe, the third quarter for not telling him to call for a replay quick enough and a challenge quick enough than I've seen him ever at his coaching staff. Eric Reed even said it on the broadcast that he's not sure he's ever seen Eric Spoelstra that angry. It's against the Clippers on a Wednesday night, 10 games into the season.

Well, there were a few interesting things from that game last night. I want to play some sound here in a moment of James Worthy and Robert Orry doing something you do not see a lot of here. They went after Jovic. And Jovic and Wiggins represent 28% of the Miami Heat's cap. And that one hurts because they're not getting very much from both of those guys. That 28% of the cap is going to Wiggins and Jovic. And the way that Worthy talked about after the Lakers game, the way that Worthy and Robert Orry talked about Jovic was wildly disrespectful a game ago.

The defense.

Who was that number five for Miami? He looked lost out there.

He didn't play long. Jokic is that's all his name is, Jokic or something like that. He didn't play long.

That's not normal in terms of analysis from champions.

Well, I think it's those guys. I think it's the Laker guys who are obviously feeling themselves because it's coming off of a win. And the Lakers are feeling really good about themselves. It's like this renewed energy there. So they're feeling themselves a little bit, Orry and Worthy. But while that is disrespectful, I'm not about to sit here and defend Nikola Jovic. I mean, he's unplayable. He's unplayable. He makes a lot of money. It's a disaster of a contract. I'm definitely not going to defend him.

He has really gone south, right?

He does nothing.

I mean, but it wasn't that long ago when he was one of the young pieces that you looked at.

They paid him.

With optimism.

We were having conversations during the Lillard trade rumors. We were talking about, I hope the Heat can get this deal done while keeping Jovic.

Yeah.