Transcript of Giggling about cult leaders, clowns, and crosswords

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Sup, Gigglers?

Gary, fix the Wi-Fi.

Manifest that shit. We can't be managed.

I mean, the day just got away from me.

Hello, my girls, girls, Gigglers. I can't stop saying it still even though it's been a long time.

Skettle, skettle. Do you know that that is the accent that I do with my brother's fiancée? Like, we only talk to each other in like a British accent, but it's a British accent during like the 1500s, and we are like just so niche. We eat porridge.

I love those friendships, except when you have to speak normally, you feel super weird.

No, we can't. She got engaged and I was like, congratulations, Congratulations, girls, girl.

Oh God, I have to say, we have some— we have new gigglers. We do. I feel like every week I'm getting messages, hi, I'm a new giggler, and they feel like they're not caught up and stuff.

Well, I'm not prepared, I have a hair mask in.

But I just have to say, we love you, we love the whole giggly community, day one-ers. Today right now, okay? But the gigglers are so fucking nice to each other in the comments. Like, I— the giggly community is just— why are they the best girls on the planet?

You're like one braid away in your hair from being a cult leader.

No, I think— I think in a past life I was.

If you said that with a flower crown on, I'd be terrified.

And then I'm like, now stop talking to your families and come live with us on a You're like, whether you started yesterday or you've been with us for 6 years, this is why you're my best friend, because I was trying to have like an earnest, beautiful moment and you were like, no, I know, you sound insane. You were like, you sound crazy, I'm gonna have to cut you off.

You look like a clown. Okay, these bitches don't care. There's a girl right now on her way to work being like, I I don't give a fuck who's listening.

I'm just trying to bring love and light to the community and you're like, we're Scorpios, shut the fuck up.

Wait, I will say, if you are a new giggler, typically we're in a studio and like the vibe is a little different. But I will say, during the summer I do love when we go virtual because like, for instance, I online shopped all morning.

Oh, I thought you were gonna say you online shopped during the pod. I'm like, okay, keep that to yourself.

If I can multitask, it's over for you.

Mm-hmm.

I'm doing a hair mask. Like, I'm gonna do my laser hair removal when we hang up.

I love that the virtual vibes are not better or worse, they're just different. And sometimes they're like crazier.

Well, because we're in the comfort of our home.

Exactly. There's a comfortability about it. It's very cozy. We're really on a FaceTime with everyone.

We're in pajamas.

Speaking of small talk, yeah, you know I hate small talk except around people who don't want to talk to me. Like, if the person's shy, then I'm like, okay, now I need you to love me. Yeah. So I went to get blood drawn. Quest Diagnostics, not sponsored. Um, drove there 15 minutes, literally left my husband. I said, might be the last time you see me.

But hold on, wait, does Quest Diagnostics have any competitor. I've never been— anytime I've ever needed blood, I've never gone anywhere but a Quest Diagnostics.

All I know is, yeah, like, I, I tried to get some tests for something, and then I got— I keep getting sent to Quest Diagnostics. Walked in, no one was there.

What are you getting tested for?

Well, I— and I wanted to get tested for food something.

You didn't even tell me.

Oh, we have to draw blood together? What kind of cult are you trying to create?

No, but usually something as big as that you would say to me like, I'm going to go and like try this out and like see— you never make health decisions and don't at least—

I was like bored and booked it and forgot and then saw I had a notification today and it's like 10— you know, I like things that are close by. It was 10 minutes away, right?

It was in someone's basement.

Like, it really was. But I don't— I've only driven like— I don't drive highways.

You do short distances.

I do short distances. And it was 10 minutes— no, like 15 minutes away. And I was like, and Des was busy, and I was like, I feel like I should drive. And he's like, yeah, can you do this? Do you feel ready? And I was like, I think I just need to, I need to take a shot at life. So I drove. I was blasting Lil Wayne, being crazy.

Okay, probably not the safest, definitely not.

No, but it was getting me like focused and pumped up. And then I was like, am I the king of the world?

Like the way your ego gets so big when you're in the car Yeah, with a good song and you're just like, wait till you pull like one good move and like someone's in the passenger seat or the back seat and they're like, wow, that was really good. You're— it's an insane ego.

I don't let people drive in the back seat with me. That's— I like care about— I care.

Okay, perfect.

I'm a solo dolo right now. So anyway, I get to my Quest Diagnostics safe.

Yeah.

And the lady, she hates me. Like, I walk in and she's not even making eye contact. Like, I was like, hi, and she did— I don't think she even responded. And I was like, damn. But then it was like quiet a little too long, and I was like, I need to figure her out. And she has all these photos of her family and this one like beautiful dog.

It's like the secretary behind like the glass partition.

No, this is the lady taking my blood.

Oh, okay. Oh, we're in there now.

We're in there, but in the office, I guess she has all these photos. Okay, so I'm like, this is gonna get her. I know she's gonna love this. And I go Your dog is really beautiful.

Mm-hmm.

She looks at me and she bursts into tears. No, she goes, my dog, as of the last 2 days, is sick and I've been nonstop crying because my baby, I don't know if I have to put him down. She goes on a whole like 10-minute crying, like tears coming down her face.

And I'm sitting here, I'm like, worst nightmare.

And I'm cornered. She has a needle to my face crying at me. And this is just a day in my life. This is just me trying to be kind to another human. This is how the universe rewards me.

This is so something that would happen to you.

And then obviously I wanted information, like how long do I have to wait, but I couldn't really get out of the like anything.

You were done.

I can't be like, by the way, how— enough about your fucking dog. How long until I get my, um, food allergy results?

What kind of—

what kind of dog?

You're like, speaking of treats, um, what am I Allergic to bitch.

No, but like, I hope, I hope it made her feel better to like let it out, but I did not see that coming.

What kind of dog?

It was like a beautiful gray pit bull. Um, and I was like, yeah, we foster sometimes, and she's like, I don't want a new one, I want my baby.

I was like, I have no— I, I don't, I don't know. See, when I'm in those situations, do you want to know what my go-to is? Your nails look really good.

Girls love that.

I always say to someone, your nails look really good, and girls are like, thanks, I like actually like I have to get them done. Or I just go with, your hair looks really healthy. Oh, if someone hits me with a hair— your hair looks really healthy, or your skin looks really hydrated, oh, I'll put you in my will.

Those are real girls go.

Yeah, those are some— that's like, okay, we're on common ground here.

You're— you know what, actually, I say that people love And by the way, I only say it when it's true. I go, your pores are really small.

Wow, you've never once told me my pores are small.

Your pores are actually small.

I'd kill for someone to say that to me.

Okay, next time you're in a mood, I'll bring it out.

Yeah, yeah, bring— whip that out.

Put that—

write that down.

But I feel like when I'm with people, it's, it's a beautiful energy where people like to open up to me. But, um, recently we went on a group dinner where like It was this like omakase thing with my brother and his wife where, yeah, one of us was gonna be sitting next to strangers.

Oh yeah.

So my brother's wife, the kindest, sweetest, beautiful person in the world— rusty bitch face.

Yes.

And I said, we're gonna put her there. So because she's gonna be a wall, no one's gonna mess with her. And she doesn't— she's If someone asked her a question, she'd be so warm.

But she's a nurse, like, she's so nice.

She's so nice. But like nurses, they're like— you're like, do I want to bother them with this? I don't know. But if I was there, then next thing you know, we'd be going into astrology. It would be like a whole thing.

You'd be having omakase together with another family. Yeah.

Yes. So that was like a strategic thing, and it really worked. And I, I told her afterwards and she laughed and she was like, I had no idea that was your strategy. And I was like, well, I'll be using you in the future, thank you. Maybe that should be her side business, the buffer friend.

Yeah, I feel like I could do that.

Yeah, but I don't even want to make you work like that.

Yeah, thank you, because you're so—

you have too much social anxiety just to get there. Pressure anxiety.

Sorry, I just like chugged a carbonated drink. I don't know why I did that. Now I'm like burping, burping. Something that's come across my desk this week, which is like really pissing me off. Have you seen the Havaiana kitten heel?

Yes, it's been sent to me a lot.

What do you think about it?

You know I love it.

Do you love it?

Fucking love it. And also it means I don't have to paint my big toe, and I save 20% on pedicures.

Here's why it's actually annoying me. I feel like Havaianas were like I feel like I had a pair of Havaianas in 7th grade and then I never thought about them again. And then this summer I feel like they were like kind of making a comeback and then they did that, which I feel like is so Crocs-coded.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Well, I was gonna say I thought it was a Croc.

I thought it was a Croc.

Havaianas coming into Crocs world. Yeah.

And if there's one thing you can believe me about, it's my hatred for Crocs. So when I'm up here defending the Croc name. I'm being serious with it.

Well, you hate copycats. I hate just like inauthenticity.

We already have it. Yeah, that's like inauthentic. Like, do something different. So I don't like that.

But no, that has been sent to me like 100 times.

And also I think it's ugly.

And she's ugly.

Yes. Oh, I have someone to nominate for Woman of Summer of the Week.

Oh, well, it has to go past a couple senates.

Oh, was there a box that I was supposed to like send into, or—

I can just say, but you have to nominate and then I have to agree.

Okay, great.

Sorry, I'm hanging out with a 3-year-old.

I literally was like, cool, I— you're making this up as you go. You're making the rules up.

I'm treating you like Lois treated me. Hurt people hurt people.

I'm actually so glad we're not around kids anymore, but because we were both around kids like the past couple of weekends— and this is the last thing I'm gonna say about kids— is I really do fear that I'm gonna be a mean mom. Like, I really— there was a moment where I was like, and I think I might be a mean mom.

I fear that when moms are too nice the kids don't come out well.

Well, I made something up that a monster comes out of the sand and it eats little girls and boys when they scream. So I'd be pretty scared if I were you. And then I took a moment and I said, I don't have to go this hard. I'm gonna pull it back. I'm gonna take a step back. These aren't my children.

Well, my parents always did the quiet game. That always worked because my brother and I were competitive.

Anyway, okay, someone I want to nominate for—

mm-hmm—

Emily Shelton. Why do I—

why do I know that name?

She's a 21-year-old flight instructor, and she landed a plane in the middle of the highway in Florida. Something that a lot of men have said that they would be able to do. She did it.

Wait, was it an emergency landing?

Yes, she smelled, um, oil like in the cockpit. And so you like hear— she's like radios to them like, I think something's wrong.

She was like, that's not a diptych— diptychew candle, we gotta go.

Her tone the whole time, calm as a cucumber. She was like, yep, and now I am going to declare an emergency. We're not going to make it to the airport. I'm right in line with the highway trying to stay away from cars. Here we go. Like, and then she just does it, and she's communicating like perfectly. Yeah, perfectly.

I'm posting my pilot bit, I think, today because it needs to be talked about from the Hulu special. Um, shout out to her, 100% Woman of STEM of the Month, maybe.

I knew you were going to concur with that one. That was a good one.

I concur. Um, there's Woman of STEM of the Week also, is this young girl who, to make money on the side of the road she created a petting zoo and you have to pay to pet, and it's just her dog like in a fence.

Stop.

So you have to pay to pet the dog, and I was like, fucking genius. Fucking genius. Also, Wim Huisdem of the Week, third place. Someone said that to not cry while chopping an onion, you just have to put olive oil on the knife. But it hasn't been tested.

I'm gonna test it.

I, I feel like our Italian grandmas would have known that by now, but maybe it just never crossed their desk in that way.

Definitely been in a situation where olive oil was on the knife.

I know, for sure. So I wonder why they haven't told me that yet. So we'll get to the bottom of that in our own Italian FBI agents.

Actually, one thing I have been doing this summer I feel like is cooking more, like wanting to— well, let me bring that back and the tradwife rumors begin. Well, I've been reading Yesteryear, which is like basically about tradwives.

I just bought Yesteryear.

Okay, I actually— okay, I actually wasn't aware that it was like a— not— I don't know, would you classify it as a thriller? But it's like she's living her life and then she goes back and she wakes up and all of a sudden it's like 1800s.

So it's a historical timepiece. You love a period piece.

I know, but I don't know if I love reading it. And I could say that for a lot of things in my life.

Do you not like the book or do you not like reading?

I don't like the book. I don't think— I don't think I like the book. Don't try and trick me.

You literally malfunctioned for like 3 seconds there.

No, because I do like reading.

Wait, oh my God.

This isn't even like a crazy thing. So the other day, you know how I texted you because it was a really good manifestation day? So sometimes when I, when I know that it's like a good manifestation day, and because TikTok told me—

okay, I was gonna ask where you figured it out.

Like, obviously you can watch videos and they're like, you should do these 12 steps, and it's like, eat a lemon under a full moon and then throw it out your back window. It's like, okay. Whatever, drink moon juice. It's like, money, chill out. The one thing I do do is like write down all the things I want to manifest, or like write a letter to my future self of the things I want to manifest. The other day I woke up and I said, why don't I live today in like how I want to live in the future? And do you want to know what I did? Absolutely fucking nothing. Absolutely nothing. I woke up and I was very present. I said, and in the future I'll wake up leisurely, do my skincare, have coffee outside, put my bathing suit on, lay by a pool. And like all day I was like, do whatever I was doing. I was like, and now it's time for me to read because I live a life of leisure.

Leisure is like the word you have to like repeat to yourself.

Leisure.

Leisure. Leisure is so chic.

Then I thought to myself, I have a podcast where I tell millions of girls to get out there and work. No, but it's, it's after like working, once you accomplish like certain things, it's like, how do you want to live your life?

Well, I find manifestation lists help you also be— realize what you have.

Like when you're trying to think of like what you want, what's important and what's not.

Like, yeah, like you're like, I want a happy, healthy family, and then you're like, oh, it's But I think it's cool to just reflect. I also found an old manifestation list. Yeah, I just don't know what actual date it was because it was like iconic. It was— I think it was right after I got fired, and it literally was like, yeah, do a late night set on Jimmy Fallon, get a Netflix special, like hit a million followers on TikTok, which are all like stupid things, but at the time I was like not close to any of it.

Yeah.

And I never even checked it again. I just checked it recently and I was like, you go, girl.

Yeah, that's how I feel sometimes when I look back at like my psychic readings.

Do you look back at them?

Yeah, well, I usually record them, so sometimes like if I'm bored I will go back and like re-listen to like certain parts just to see if any of it happened. And sometimes I'm like, oh my God, I forgot she even said that.

This is a perfect segue for our mental health moment of the week. Hell yeah. Um, I, I want to give credit. I forget who it was, but it's a— was it a— it's a girl on something. Oh, perfect.

Yeah.

And she narrowed that down and she said to help you with your inner voice, you know, when you feel like your inner voice is you but it's really not, it's like a bad evil voice. Yeah, to disassociate from that voice and be like, that's not me. Give the voice a man name. So next time, like, a hater— like, you're hating on yourself or being mean, just be like, Doug, shut the fuck up.

Oh my God, I feel like I would have to name mine something with a P.

Peter.

Peter. Actually, Peter, you've gained a couple pounds, okay?

Peter, I make 70 cents on the dollar. You fucking work, Peter.

Peter, you live rent-free. Because it's true.

Like, if your friend says it to you, you're like, okay, they make a good point. But if a man says it to you, you're like, shut up, walk off.

Wait, that's so true, Hannah. Like, my dad could say something to me and I'm like You don't even know what you're talking about. I'm like, what? And then my mom could say, yeah, and I'm like, you're on to something.

Go listen to a red pill podcast telling me negative things. Who do you think you are? But it's true. What— there was a time where I thought every thought in my head was like this whisper of like truth that I had to follow. And once you know you can ignore it, you're suddenly like, oh, I could just like float around in leisure. Jede Nacht bewegst du dich bis zu 60 Mal. Der Coex-Schaum der Bett1-Matratze unterstützt deine Bewegung. So wird jede Nacht zum Traum. Jetzt online bestellen auf Bett1.de.

Okay, I saw this thing on TikTok and it was a comment. It wasn't even like— so I don't know if this is a thing Gen Z like made up and is talking about, or if this was just a random girl having an amazing thought. It was like a video of two guys, probably like freshmen in college, maybe like seniors in high school. And you know how girls are criticized for everything, but specifically a lot of women and girls are criticized for their voices. Like, have you ever heard like, oh my God, her vocal fry, like I hate, you know, or like she talks like a valley girl or whatever. Some girl commented and was just like, frat sent, like accent, like frack sent. And I was like, oh my God, yeah. Do you know how many men I know that talk the same but I've never been able to say? Me and one of my girlfriends actually would say that like there were certain men that we would meet and they'd have the same type of voice and we knew that they were like evil because they all had the same voice. And it was Fraccent, but we didn't know it then.

And I, I just think it's perfect. I think more men should be criticized. Not that feminism is about equal hate, but it is. But like, they never get criticized for that.

Well, they will criticize women for saying like too much, right? But then I've noticed, at least like in years past, especially in like the male comedy scene they love saying dude. So like at the end of a sentence they say dude, in the beginning of a sentence they say dude. Like it's their filler word to the point that I'm like, I'm trying to listen to jokes and people are just like, dude, so then I was a dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm like, dude, are you really doing that, dude? And it was so much dude, but you— they become unaware of it because they say it so much where I'm like, what's with all the dudes?

Right, right, right. No, that's so true.

Just raising awareness.

Sorry, I was actually just like throwing it out there.

Frat scents are so real though. And then also there's guys who get out of the frat scent, but then they see a guy who is giving frat, and then they go right back into their old selves, and they're like, bro, bro, chug.

One thing that I've realized throughout my life in dating, and I think it's a really important trait, and I didn't learn it until very later in my 20s, even like really more in my early 30s. When you meet a guy and you are put in different situations with him, whether it's with his friends, your friends, family, whatever, or maybe people you don't know, men that change their personality based on where they are, like, is a really big red flag. And you could argue like, oh well, yeah, everyone kind of does that a little bit. But you have to find a man that you know they're sick— like, their demeanor and their character is going to be the same no matter what room they walk into.

I dated a guy, and dating is a strong word, but like, he was so chasing me, like being so suave and sweet and saying all the right things. And I swear to God, his mom called and he was like, what the fuck do you want? And I was like, like, he's— what's— fucking punch her grandma. Like, he was so mean to his mom, and I was like, oh, always going to speak to me the second I have sex with him, like while I'm still in bed. He's cursing me out.

No, that— like, I dated this one guy who, when we hung out with these two specific people, I loved who he was, like, with these people.

Oh, oh, so it's a positive thing? You were like, with them he was a better, better person? Maybe should have dated them because he became a better person with them.

I was like, why are you such a cool, good person around these people, and you're not like this all the time. Anyway, I don't know how we got there.

Wait, do you want to get really pissed at a man right now?

What time is it?

You have the capacity?

Yep, I do.

You have to schedule it in. Let's see, I don't have anything for about an hour. I can fit it in. Okay, so there's I was doing the New York Times crossword puzzle.

I love that about you.

But I'm really bad at it. So like, okay, I had to cheat. Yeah, but every Monday I try and I always get it down to like the last two and I can't get it.

How do you cheat? You just Google it?

Yeah, but like, I don't tell people I won. I just—

you just say you did it. Okay.

I just say thank you for being honest and open with us about it. I didn't win. I cheated. So there's an emperor and it's a four-letter word. It's Emperor Nero. So I Googled like Emperor, 4-letter word, whatever.

People that aren't cheating are nerds because who's— Emperor Nero. Sorry.

Sorry that I had friends in high school.

Like, what?

No. And then it's like tons of '80s references. So Des is good at it. But I digress. I was like, can we do a pop culture one?

Wait, we were in the Times crossword puzzle once. Remember that?

I think it was like the pop culture one.

Oh. Those bitches, I didn't know there was different ones. Whatever. Okay, keep going. So you're doing Nero?

Yeah, Nero. So like it comes up his name and all these facts about him, and like, so I just gave it a quick look-see. This man, this man made them move the Olympics because like, I feel like he was like, I don't know, 1600, 1700, 1800s. I don't fucking know. He made them move the Olympics because he was traveling so that he could be there, and then for him to compete in a ton of competitions that they had to give him gold. And they gave him gold in all the competitions. Then when he died, they took his name off all the winning lists. And I'm like, that's literally leaders today. Like, wait, if they could, they would.

No, like, this is sick in the head. Like, this is so sick.

And someone on his team was like, yeah, we're gonna have to just give him the gold. Is that okay? He's threatening to, to take down the entire society if you don't. So can we just give him like a gold medal, let him walk around a little gold star?

You want to know what pisses me off about that is like the girls of that age, they didn't even have the appropriate jargon. Like they couldn't be like, okay, this gaslighting motherfucker is winning all the gold.

Old Instagrams of like stuff they used to say, like giggle mug and stuff. Everyone sends that to us. They definitely had a word for it back then, and I want to know what they called them. What? You know, his wife was exhausted. She was like, oh my God, congrats, babe.

Yeah, congrats.

Also, these people have been training their whole lives to like do swords or whatever the fuck people did in the 1700s, throw like gold— I don't know, Harry Potter shit.

Like, also, like, where did he move it? Where was it that he moved it?

He just moved the timing of it. He was like, it's not gonna work this week, so they had to like—

wait, okay, diva down though. Like, I think a lot of men back then were just like absolute gay men who had no outlet of performing.

That was his performance.

Like, think about how they really couldn't say shit about it.

He wanted a podium. He need to stand on a podium with gold. Diva Dad.

And like, I kind of love it.

With great power comes great responsibility.

He's like, you don't need that gold medal, like actually give it to me. Um, okay, one thing I feel like, you know how like when you hear your birthday or like your full name or something that is so you and you're like, yeah, that's like, of course I'm a Leo, like that's so me. Mhm. I love when those moments happen, and I feel like recently I'm getting like, like, you know when you go on someone's phone and you're like, this is— I can't work this, like I've never seen it before, even though you have an iPhone? This is how I'm starting to feel when I'm watching other people's TVs. I have to now log out of their like Amazon Prime or something and log into mine, cuz I'm like, sorry, yours is like I don't like it. Like, I—

the algorithm's getting like so specific.

I just feel like I've isolated too much and like I can only work comfortably if I'm on my own accounts.

Wait, I have a hot take. Yeah, I didn't love Furious, the Hulu show you recommended.

No, I know what you're talking about. What didn't you love about it?

Well, I was watching it with Des, which might have like ruined the experience.

That's what it is. You can't watch things with men. It really— it— no, I'm not kidding, it ruins it.

Because I was watching it from a critical eye, and I do think the script needs work. I think the script needs— I think it was a little over-explainy.

Okay, but we haven't seen Emmy Rossum in a while, and she like really puts herself out there.

She's perfect. She's perfect. Also, the, the serial killer is perfect. I just, I didn't— I wasn't— I just wasn't blown away, but it was solid.

Okay, and what were Des's critiques? What did he not like?

He, he hated the whole script.

He hated how it started out.

He didn't like their like fake funny cop relationships. He didn't like Fake funny?

She got beat up by her boyfriend.

No, just like the— like they try to do funny back and forth, like banter, but it like wasn't really funny.

Oh, I don't think I picked up on that.

I think you were on your phone.

No, it's a serious show. Did we watch the same show? When did they try and do banter?

It's all the back and forth, and then— but like, she's perfect. She's a star.

Whatever, you hated it. Okay.

I also only watched One episode of the episode.

Yeah. So you're really not even into it. So I'm actually not even listening to you. Yeah, everyone scratch Hannah's critique of that Joan trial.

Well, now I feel like I put— I put bad energy into the world. So anyway, well, you did watch the first episode of Furious and let me know what you think.

I will say the first like 5 to 10 minutes, I actually was like, I don't know if I can watch this, because sometimes right when they hit you with someone's dead and was murdered, I'm actually like, oh, See, I was into that.

It went down.

Oh, okay.

Oh, like, you know, you're like, oh, of course they're gonna cut to her. She cut to her in the office being like, what do I do? I'm a cop. There's so many— how FBI men are mean to me.

You don't use that voice enough.

I feel like I don't think I've ever— that's my cop, cop in a show voice. I know, those papers, the papers everywhere. But Emily Rossum, like, the best. She also can sing, and I like respect people who can sing because I think she has like a lot of lore.

I'm not sure what it is though.

I sense that too from her. We have to look that up.

I'm feeling an energy that she has like insane lore. See See, because I watched Shameless not when it was on TV, so I wasn't familiar with her until like years, years later. But I think there's something there. We should look it up.

That's how I want people to talk about me. I want them to go, Hannah Bernhardt, I feel like there's lore. Trust me, girl, they do.

They are.

Anywho, I have to apologize to the Academy for last episode. I said I was going to help people with the US Open and then I never did.

What are we gonna help them with?

Just like tips and tricks.

Well, you don't have time to help them with the US Open because you have to help me with US Open and getting me—

Tell them what happened today, guys.

No, okay, it was— no, it was freaky. No, it was really freaky.

Down to the exact colors page, there were other colorways.

No, I know there were. So I'm scrolling my Instagram, scrolling my Instagram, and I see this like top and I'm like, wait, that's a really cool top. So I click the Instagram, I go to the website, I'm like, I love this this top. I click through, it has a matching skirt. I'm like, amazing! I click the colors, boop boop boop, I buy it. I'm— I get the email, I'm like, wait, this is actually a Hannah outfit and I should send this link to Hannah because she should order this. This is like a perfect Good Morning America outfit. She's going on a talk show, she— whatever.

My stylist.

So I just send her the link and then I get in the shower because I'm starting my I'm starting my, my stuff. So honestly, I forget all about it.

And I was driving, so I didn't get it immediately. And I'm not at the point where I can navigate.

And you'll never be there.

Which even— I don't like the voice text. It doesn't hit the same.

No, let's just say here and now, do not ever do that.

No, no texting, driving on this pod.

There's a couple things Giggly Squad is big in, and it's we don't fool around in cars, and we don't— and nicotine, get a fucking life.

We don't smoke cigarettes and I'm over it. And I think big cigarettes are behind a lot of these influencers posting. But I digress, continue.

You think there's a conspiracy theory there?

Yeah, because it's one thing to get caught smoking a cig by a paparazzi.

You think Big Tobacco is doing influencer deals? They don't think we're cool enough. Nobody likes us. Wait, yeah.

Okay, Gloria Big Tobacco is trying to get out of the job right now. It's like, they got us.

Wait, what was I just saying?

You were gonna say what you texted me.

So I text Hannah, I come back, I open my phone, she texts me back, she goes, Paige, I ordered this outfit and I'm wearing it to the US Open. And in the shower I was like, perfect for the US Open actually for her. I literally like, that's really scary.

So I'm gonna— I'm trying to figure out the date, I'll get it. Okay, my one thing I want to say about the US Open, even though things have changed, it's gotten a lot more crowded, is you can go, I believe, for free to qualifying week, which is like the best week to go because you watch all these amazing qualifying matches. These are people fighting for their fucking life. Like, this is intense. This is serious stuff. Like, this is passion. So what— like, it's basically Challengers if it was good. So, ooh, she's shady like La Roche on You see LaRoach fighting with everyone on Project Runway. Him and Tyra are gonna—

I need to catch up.

Him and Tyra are two strong personalities. Yeah, is all I'm gonna say. And I'm locked in. Oh yeah, so go up to the— go to the qualifying week, the week before it starts, and then you also see all the top people training. So they're like playing practice matches and hanging around. So that's a super fun time.

And like the concession is open, it's like regular vibes.

Yes, my other advice is it's gonna be fucking hot. Yeah, bring sunscreen, bring sunglasses, maybe a cute hat.

I think I have to go at night.

Yeah, you like the night one. If you get a grounds pass, make sure you have comfortable sneakers because you're gonna be walking around. Try to see matches you want to watch and like get there beforehand.

Um, and I would say the outfit vibe is like one of your friends from camp invited you to their grandma's Grandma and Grandpa's lake house. And like, what would your day outfit be for that? Like, you're going shopping, you're going to lunch. Like, it's very preppy slash— you could go nautical with it. Think like baby shower. What would you wear to a baby shower in Nantucket?

I love that. I also think bright colors though in general are good. Like reds, blues, throw in a white.

It's very American.

Yeah, yeah. And very classic. I feel like anything classic works.

It's very Polo Ralph Lauren.

Yes, very Polo Ralph Lauren. Um, I really didn't have a lot of advice for the US Open. I just wanted to sound like I do, but like—

okay, great. I feel like that you did a phenomenal job.

Thank you. Um, but We will go, we just have to figure it out, talk to some people. Yeah, you know, my dream is to be asked to sit in a box of one of the players. Do you know what that means? Oh, so there's players' boxes, that's where the coaches and the family sit, that's like where the girlfriends sit. To get in the box, it's their closest friends. Now I don't want to just get into anyone's box because I'm asking for it, right? But there was like an iconic time where Chelsea Handler was besties with Maria Sharapova and she was always in her box and it was like so fucking cool. And it was just like girls go, like her supporting women. And like, I've infiltrated the tennis society. Jessie Pegula, Madison Keys, um, these are my girls. Anyway, a lot of these girls I'm friends with. Isla Tomlanovic, shout out. Hello, Emma Navarro, shout out. Um, those are my girlies, and maybe I'll see them at the Open, but um Oh my God, yeah, I'm gonna stalk them all.

Okay, this is you writing in your diary that maybe one day you'll—

this is my manifestation. But then I don't want them to ask me just because I asked for it. Now I sound like an annoying girlfriend. I'm like, just do it because you want to do it. But like, I'm a cheerer. Like, I will be cheering.

Yeah, you're, you're, you're there.

They invite me and then the next time the coach is like, hey, can you not be so fucking loud during the match.

Well, I think it's interesting in tennis that I feel like it's the only sport where the coach isn't there, like right there. You can't talk to him during it. I think that's like the most bizarre thing.

So coaching used to be illegal, like no coach. You can't even like give a hand signal, any communication, because part of tennis is like once you're on the court, it's you versus the opponent and you have to figure it out like a puzzle.

Okay, it—

but then they just like couldn't control the cheating. Like coaches would like be like, if I blink with my right eye, hit it to her forehand. Like, right, if I touch, if I move my hat, that means like start coming to net more. Like they couldn't control it. Serena Williams famously got called for coaching in like a very important match when everyone's like, she shouldn't have, because everyone cheats with coaching. So finally now you can coach.

I would have been doing full dance routines. Like, in what world are you gonna tell me that I can't look at— I can't look at someone in the crowd?

You're like, I wasn't coaching, I was picking my nose. And it's like, well, you keep doing that. But also, yeah, tennis now is like evolving, so you can coach. But like, there's only so much you could coach when—

well, that seems like a ridiculous rule.

They did it for a long time, babe. A long time. You are obsessed with the umpires because you love when they tell everyone to shut the fuck up.

Well, because I think they are— they command a room, and I appreciate that in someone.

Thank you. Oh, that's what you like? You love when they say—

I think they sound so passive-aggressive, and I think I like— I like that.

Yeah, and their job is basically to manage when players lose their mind and keep everyone like calm. I'd be a bad umpire for sure. The second they question me, I'd be like, no, you're right, you're too passionate.

Yeah, you'd be way too passionate.

No, but I want everyone to like me, so I'd be like, girl, you're right. Another one be like, are you fucking kidding me? I'm like, babe, love you even more, you're right. What do you think about this TikTok going around about someone was like, if you— if someone talks shit about you to me, I don't want you defending me, I want you to pretend you're on their side to get all the tea.

100%.

But this is the thing, like, me and you, no one's gonna come up to us and talk shit about the other one.

They'd have to be insane. It has to be about like an acquaintance.

Yes, for peripheral friends.

I've had multiple people not know that I'm like— like, know that I know someone but don't know how close I am to that person. So they'll— and they're like kind of close to that person, they'll say a bunch of stuff.

You're asking follow-up questions, you put your phone up to them, you're like, what'd you say?

I'm like, wait, when did they go there? You're kidding. With who?

Well, you know when you realize you're in enemy territory? Yeah, because it's like group mentality and you're like, oh, you guys are all thinking this way about this person.

And like, I was actually gonna bring this up and I feel like that's a good segue. Have you seen the Lindsay Clancy like case that's going on?

Okay, I'm getting DMs about it. Is there a documentary that I watched?

No, there's— I don't think there's a documentary. I think there's one on Amazon, but they're interviewing on the stand all these people, and obviously one of the people is her husband. And so people are watching this case on TV and they're doing all of these conspiracy theories. Well, this is the first time I think I've ever seen people like— and there's millions of conspiracy theories, and there's millions of conspiracy theories I feel like about every trial, but there are people on TikTok that are getting really mad that people are coming up with conspiracy series. Like, and there are a lot of people that think like, oh, the judge is gonna want miraculously randomly just say like, we think the husband did it, this is over, like we have to like accuse him, which is not going to happen. But also in the same vein, like people are noticing certain things and are like, that doesn't add up at all.

Like, so they're trying to— some people are trying to get people on the boat of the husband did it.

Yeah, is blaming her and like tricked her almost. The wildest conspiracy theory is that the husband did it, like drugged her, ran to like pick up food or ran to a CVS or something to show like on camera like an alibi, but that then convinced her she did it. Like you were in such a psychosis and like you did it because after his children were killed, he got a new girlfriend, and now it's 3 years later, he's married with a kid.

Did she remember, or she's saying, I was in a psych— I don't remember it.

She doesn't remember. No, I don't— no, she maintains that she was in a psychosis. And also, there is a part where the doctors say she fell out the wind— she jumped or like fell out of a window, and she's now paralyzed. Paralyzed. She's in a wheelchair. Yeah, she killed— she killed her kids and then she went and she jumped out the window and she is paralyzed. It's like— it's actually one of— it's so crazy and heartbreaking.

Oh my God. But you know, the conspiracies like are going with the trend of like when it comes to violence, it's typically the man, so they're like a little trying to make things make sense.

Yeah, it's a lot of people trying to make things make sense. The one thing I will say she has an excellent lawyer regardless. He is just like a very articulate—

so you're watching clips of it on TikTok, or like you're looking at the actual trial online?

I'm watching the actual trial like on— in different clips.

Oh wow. I also think one thing I learned from watching a lot of these kind of documentaries is there's not always a perfect victim. So like a lot of the time it's like, I don't like how he or she's reacting, or they're not sad enough, they're right, they're too sad. Um, so it's not like there's one way to deal with your whole family, like, dying, right? Um, but I'm gonna have to look into this and come back on the next pod.

I mean, it's awful and it's like so sad, but it is interesting, like, the discourse around it.

On a more positive note—

yeah, let's lighten it up—

some more positive lore is I found out that the Wiggles are fucking each other. They're dating, they're breaking up, they're getting married, they're marrying new people. They're all— there's all kinds of dating lore within the Wiggles community. And they're Australians, they're all hot, they're all hot and just the Australian, you know.

I love it so much.

So I have to look into it, but like people were married and divorced and still on the show and then now with different people.

Yeah.

I mean, look, a work crush is a work crush. It doesn't matter if you're a Wiggle or you're an accountant.

It's the reality TV show I think we deserve collectively. That is a good point. As a society.

Yes, the Wiggles.

A bunch of gay men choreographing during the day and then banging and fighting by night.

No, I think they're straight. They're just Australian.

Oh, then I don't care. No way. Wait, then I literally don't care. I don't care.

Still interesting, the men and women hooking up. Wiggle— like, it's like Wiggles Love Island.

There's women on The Wiggles?

Yes. It's—

sorry, that was so misogynistic of me. I've only ever seen men.

Originally it was like a couple men, but now The Wiggles community is like a big community of like men and women.

Oh, but I don't care.

I don't care.

And when it was all gay men I'm in, I'm seated, I'm sat. Bring in the straights. I don't care, I could just go in my own phone book.

Like, I could go on my own phone.

Are you kidding?

A bunch of read old text messages.

Yeah, a bunch of hot Australians two-timing me. I could scroll to 2017. Like, I don't need—

wait, why are there so many hot Australian men in New York who were just feral?

I don't know. And why do they all own shops? Like, I know the coffee shop, beer shops, egg shops. I'm like, what is up with you guys in hospitality?

Entrepreneurship, they love it. And there's always— yeah, it's, it's a time. I highly recommend it at least to try. Yeah, totally. Okay, I do also have like a question, just like for the Girls Go community. Okay, when you wake up in the morning and you have a 9:30 Pilates class, which I feel like is, um, a relatable question for the girls, are we drinking coffee beforehand? Are we trying to get some calories in beforehand? How soon are you eating when you wake up versus heading to the class? No one's figured it out and it's stressing me out.

Before I have to go anywhere, from the time I have to walk out to get to my destination, I'm up an hour before that.

We live such different lives.

I don't even know what this problem is.

Babe, babe, babe, babe, I have a 9:30 Pilates class today. When do you think my alarm was?

9:15.

9 AM. Because it takes 10 minutes to get there. And then I was like gonna— I need to live in chaos. Like, I was running around, I'm gonna be late, I'm gonna be late. But then I'm like, do I try to eat a little cereal? Is it good? And because my biggest fear is having to go to the bathroom during a Pilates class. That's like illegal.

The hour before, I've built in my skincare, my coffee, my like my getting dressed, and then I'm always in a rush while also Moving at a snail's pace.

Now I'm thinking of all the times you arrived on time and I didn't, but I'm also like, what are you talking about? But low-key, I got so much more sleep than you just to be like 5 minutes later and looking like— yeah, like shit.

No, and I don't do it to like be better than people. I do it because I have a sensitive tummy. Yeah, like I can't just jump out of bed like the rest of America. I need to ease into it.

Also, in college when I worked out in the morning you know, I didn't do coffee in college. Like, I was— I was such a little prude. Yeah, I don't know, I just didn't do it. And I'm like, how did I survive college without coffee? So I guess in the morning I just had some water and like a drink, just like pure adrenaline, I feel like.

And like being young, a zest for life, dare I say.

Just hope, hope and excitement for what? Yeah, what the unknown.

And now my TikTok algorithm is women telling their husbands if they want a new life to not kill them and the kids. And it's like, no, you have to like look out.

I love how I'm trying to end on a light note of Pilates and you keep bringing us back. You keep bringing us back to murder.

But that's all the time we have for today.

Thank you for giggling with us.

Stay safe out there.

We love you so much. Talk to you later. Bye!