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Sup, Gigglers?
Gary, fix the Wi-Fi.
Manifest that shit. We can't be managed.
I mean, the day just got away from me.
Hello, my glacial Gigglers, because you're cool. You're a cool cat.
Yeah, I hate when I write something on the notes and I'm like, I'll know what this is.
You won't.
It just— right, it just says screens with our faces on them. Actually, I do know what that is.
Don't you hate when you think you don't know what it is and then you say it out loud and then you do know what it is and you wish you didn't bring up that you didn't know what it is?
Do you want to die laughing?
Yeah. No, I saw that already and I wasn't going to say anything until the pod started. She's perfect. Wait, is Daphne freaked out by it?
No, she like doesn't— like, she's like, I just can't believe they use that picture. Well, whatever.
She's like, there's no copyright infringement going on.
How are you, doll?
Also, these fake glasses, are they— is it reflecting too much for you? My fake glasses? No. If I— I can't hear or see with them, but I just feel like it was bringing my look together today.
Yeah, it honestly really is.
I just biked home from the nail salon. That's why I'm a little out of breath. At what age do you figure out the nail salon? Because it's—
wait, Hannah, I went to the nail salon today.
Okay, we probably had very different experience. What was your— let's start with your nice, beautiful experience of your culture. What did you do?
Um, I had to go to the bank, so I walked to the bank, and then I said, oh, the nail salon's right around the corner, let me go into the nail salon. I walk in, I say, hi, do you have a time 'Do you have time for a pedicure?' It's at this time of day, it's 9:45 in the morning, and they said, 'Yes, pick a color.' I picked my color, I sat down, she started doing my toes, and I went on TikTok. And we did that for about 45 minutes, and then I paid. And I didn't sit and dry my toes, I was wearing flip-flops, so I just walked home. The air dried them for me, and that was it.
That sounds lovely. I also just realized the different parts you— of the nose you put your fake glasses changes your age. Like, I just became— I just became 62.
Yeah.
And sorry if you're not watching on video, but I'm 62 right now.
You just became my aunt that I'm like, I have a podcast.
What is this podcast you guys are doing?
What was your nail experience?
Well, I walked in, it was crowded. I was going to turn around, but they made eye contact with me. Yeah, and you know how there's the one alpha? She's like in charge, she's running stuff, and she'll yell from any area.
She's the GM.
Yes, she was in the back at this point. So they do this thing where in front of everyone you have to say what you want.
Yep.
And she's like, what do you need? And everyone just stares at me, and I'm like, first of all, I'm shy. Yeah, I'm a really shy person. I don't like public speaking.
Wait, okay, the nail salon, I'm not shy.
Yeah, because you feel at home.
You feel at home.
That's like me walking into, you know, the US Open. I'm chatting with them, talking, chatting. When I walk into a nail salon, I say, I don't, I don't know where I belong.
Yeah.
So I was like, I'm in gel manicure.
Yeah, I was just gonna say, what were you in there for?
And I was like, gel manicure. And she's like, do you need us to take it off or do a fill? And I was like, and that's where you got me.
Yeah.
And then she goes, well, is it hard or soft gel? I go, again, I'm even more confused now. And then I'm a fucking idiot because I'm— I don't know the answers to these questions. I'm like, I choose C, like, I don't know. So then we sit down like, Paige, how do you know if you have soft or hard gel? And how do you know if you need a fill or not?
You have hard gel. You, you needed a whole new nail.
Okay, I think they did that. But yeah, when do you get a fill?
Like, okay, this is— these are my favorite topics, Hannah. I love when we get on the pod and you're just like, hey, tell me about your culture and where do you come from.
In my head I'm just like, Paige will know.
What's the cuisine you're most known for? Like, um, I get a fill every 3 weeks. I get my nails done every 3 weeks. Jacqueline tells me when I need a whole new nail.
Well, they saw mine and they redid it.
And I'm getting a pedicure once a month.
Why don't people get pedicure gels? Because everyone goes, they do manicure gel, pedicure regular. I'm like, get a gel.
Okay, when I filmed Summer House, I would get pedicure gel because it would last way longer.
Well, I didn't start painting my nails until COVID Summer House when things were really scary and dark and you said, maybe we try something new. That was the first time.
Maybe we do something creative, something with our hands. We take our mind off things.
That was lit. You were like, you know what helps me? Painting my nails. And I'm like, I've never tried that before.
You know what we don't talk about enough from that summer is that they literally put us in a padded room. They were like, you know what would make them go crazier is if they're already in an insane asylum.
We didn't have windows.
We didn't have windows.
Why was it always pitch black?
I didn't see daylight.
That wasn't a room, that was a basement that was locked.
Yeah, that was a basement that could get to the outside. I remember being really scared of that door. I'm like, if anyone's coming in and killing us, it's, uh, it's us.
There was like a fire at one point. Remember, some started a fire. I love the stuff that doesn't make the cut. They're like, that's not interesting. There was a full fire, full fire outside, right outside our door.
You know what's crazy? You slept through it.
I did.
I didn't. I— and that's so not me.
Well, because we would go to bed like 1:30 latest. Yeah, we had stuff to do. By stuff we meant Love Island in the morning. How early would we start watching Love Island?
I, I was really on a continuous loop for me.
Wait, I have a— another beauty question.
Okay.
I bought a red light mask. What should or you shouldn't have on your face? Like, you can't just put on a red light mask anytime. What— when in the skincare process do you put it on?
I like to do it—
well, oh, stumped you.
It's like clean face, like makeup washed off, clean face. I do my skincare and then I do it because I do it when I'm laying in bed. But so I just wait till I'm like dry. I wait till I'm not like super like oily.
And because if I don't put moisturizer on my face, I feel like I'm gonna crack.
No, you can put it on and then do red light.
Okay, thank God.
Okay, I have something for your culture that I want to tell you about. This is gonna sound gross. I'm telling you, me and Josephine, we can't stop eating it. I have enough. I should start a segment because it seems like each time I come on the pod I'm like, you guys, wait, I love how my culture is stuffing your face.
Continue.
Wait, I didn't even do that on purpose.
She goes, you like shoving stuff deep into your head. You eat past your limits. You don't stop when you're full. Let's talk about your culture. You're not eating for energy, you're eating to suppress something deeper. Continue.
Okay, I love things that are pickled.
Yes, me too.
Okay, pickled garlic cloves.
Okay, that's divorce.
No, Hannah, no, Hannah, please. I'm telling— I know, I, I know. That's why I'm specifically telling you about it, because One, you're gonna love it. Two, it's the pickling of the garlic clove, like, cuts it— the, like, bitterness. So you can just, like, pop them in your mouth. It doesn't taste like you're eating garlic cloves.
Are you a vampire?
No, I'm telling you.
Wait, where did you— rewind, rewind. Where did you learn about this?
I saw a TikTok of a 12-year-old eating garlic cloves out of the fucking jar.
Where did you learn about this? Is this what the kids are doing?
Next time I went grocery shopping, I got them.
It's good for your health, I'm assuming?
Okay, it's good for your health, not as good as like eating just like a raw garlic clove would be, but it still has like a lot of benefits for you. It's really good for your gut.
So you guys are just like hanging out like eating your— and you pickle it yourself.
Here's the thing about me and Josephine, we go through phases with things. Like one time we—
you're not working, I know that.
No, one time for like 3 months straight, I'm not kidding, we gained £10 because we were obsessed with making at-home lattes. But like we were doing— we were making milkshakes every single day. And so right now we're on a garlic clove, a pickled garlic clove kick.
I'm interested if Joe smells anything weird? Because it's possible, you know, when like—
I made him try it—
houses smell like their pet and they don't realize it. That could be like, maybe you have garlic coming out of your pores but you don't know.
How dare you! My home smells like a Diptyque candle. I smell like Kourtney Kardashian made me in a bio lab. It's not as scented as a regular garlic. Like, you, like, you open the top of it and it's not like you even smell garlic really.
And you like the flavor?
Yeah, it doesn't taste like you're eating a garlic clove. If you like things that are pickled, you'll like it. Like, you know how you can buy in a jar and it's got like cauliflower and carrots and like peppers and it's all pickled? Yeah, it's like that.
I feel like this is so Hannah-coded of you.
No, it— right when I ate it for the first time, I was like, I gotta tell my friend Hannah about these.
Isn't it fun to be Hannah-coded? Like, so fun telling people stuff and then being like, oh, you guys have no rules.
You guys are out here just like living every day. The pages are in a cage. Of misogyny and beauty standards that we've put on ourselves.
Okay, you're self-inflicted.
I feel like I give Virgo energy a lot even though I'm not a Virgo.
Anyway, by the way, speaking of candles, I really like Nest New York candles. Have you experienced these?
I feel like they're like not strong enough for me. I like us— there's a brand, it's called Big Ass Candle. No, and I'm like, yeah guys, cut to the fucking point.
No, I was doing like a gig and I obviously go to the bathroom like 4,000 times during a given day, and they had a Nest New York candle. And you know when you're like checking out the candle and it was like making my day, like it smelled so fucking good. I was like an addict. I was like, give me fucking more. That sniff, let me sniff that.
I feel like Nest you can just like get at the grocery store, can't you?
Yeah, I probably should. Also, it might not be Nest. And I could— I don't want to, you know, false advertise. Um, the kids left today.
How are you feeling?
You know, you can't live them— you can't live without them.
They grow up so fast. I can't believe they're already out of the house. You guys are empty nesters.
Bobby, I thought he was going to be more upset. I thought I was gonna be more upset. I'm like, oh my God, you're leaving? And he goes, yeah, I'm going on an airplane.
He didn't even turn around and wave.
Um, but I wanted to shout out Jeannie because she's pregnant, their mom, with a third. And she actually has a TikTok that's great because she's a former nurse, a former— what's the ones? NICU nurse. So she knows what she's talking about and she's funny. So if you're becoming a mom, a mom, just interested in mom stuff, follow Mama Jeannie D on TikTok.
It's funny because she made a TikTok like a couple months ago about something. I don't know, I don't even know if it was pregnant. I think it was like labor related, and I saved it, and I was like, I'm so happy that Hannah is related to her so that like when I have a baby I can just text her and it won't be weird.
Her videos are super educational but also funny.
Yeah, she's very funny.
Anyway, shout out Jeannie. What else is in my notes? Oh, We never commented on— I posted something that I was trying to trigger a response from you. I page baited. Oh, and you didn't even respond.
I don't know if I saw it. What was it?
It was a photo of my nails over my upper thigh, and you could see all the hair on my upper thigh.
I DM'd you.
Oh, you did? What'd you say?
I would never let that go, Hannah.
Please.
I actually think between all the messages of the pages, yours got lost because the pages were like, as a page, I don't know what to be more mad at.
Because you want to know what? You send me an insane amount of memes. Like, no, like, it's insane.
You're one of a couple people that I open up my phone and my only job is to send stuff to you guys.
Sorry, I didn't mean for this to sound like I was complaining. I'm not complaining. It fills my day with joy.
Does and I have a bad ratio too, because look, I'm, I'm a sender, I'm a giver.
Now I can't find it.
It's possible you responded in your head.
No, I typed something up. I might have texted me personally about it because I'm at the beginning of August and I don't see it, which means— I don't think— wow, we go through a range of emotions.
I thought my upper hair looked so pretty, my upper thigh hair against the sun. Like, it's really sparkly right now in the summer. It's like blonde and very cute and soft, like peach fuzz.
I really hope our messages never get subpoenaed because just like scrolling our DMs is actually scary. Hannah, look, I am so supportive of you having long leg hair because like, who told us other than the patriarchy that we have to shave? Like, you're not less of a woman because you have hairy legs and undone nails.
Most women have hair on their legs at some point or other.
I grow hair everywhere my Italian boyfriend grows hair, and that's scary for him.
And I grow hair in places my Irish husband doesn't grow hair, so that's something I have to deal with.
No, exactly.
Which leads me to my next point. I don't know, because I'm an elder, however I heard that the Gen Z boys— come closer— are shaving everything. And I learned that from some people, but I didn't believe them. And then I saw a video of Yungblud. Are you familiar with Yungblud?
For people only listening to audio, I'm so sorry right now because—
are you familiar with Are you feeling young blood?
Is this the audition? It's the audition. Hannah and I have like, you know, we have to play that game where it's like you hold the phone up and it says a saying and it's like we say this one because we really have so many. But like, is this the audition for Pippin? Is just like somewhere you're supposed to be but you don't want to be there, so you turn and you say, is Audition for Pippin.
And then when I would tour, all these theaters would have like shows that they would do, and then whenever it said Pippin, I would send it to her.
Mr.
Peoples. So anyway, Youngblood, he was wearing these like crazy— he's like a rock star and he's like shirtless and he's wearing these like really low-rise tight leather pants.
Like, who are we talking about?
Pubes.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And like, I wasn't trying to look— like, I'm not trying to look. It was there, and I just noticed not a pube inside. So he's wearing a low-rise— like, he's acting like old-school rock stars, except they had their pubes out. Like, they had their— and it was, it was hot, and you'd see like the happy trail.
They were like, hey, I have crabs right now.
Yeah, you could see the crabs crawling through their pubes. He's shaven. Yeah, it's gonna get— what's it called? Like, you know when a guy like shaves his chest, then you like put your head on his chest? Literally, it's prickly. Yeah, why are they doing— I don't know, am I one of these old people that's like, everyone should have a bush? But like, I don't think guys should be shaving their pubes unless you're requested it, a drag queen.
Oh, sometimes Giggly Squad is Mad Libs and it's just you say things and I try—
I actually never finish a sentence, I just say a thought and you try to guess. Also, the gays can shave because they're perfect, they're expressing themselves.
Well, they're doing things, they have stuff to do, you know.
Yes, yes. I mean, some of these guys are shaving their legs.
It's come to my attention that over the years they're shaving more and more. I was at the beach recently and I came across a group of men and I realized they all had their armpits shaved. Now, in the summer, is it—
does it get a little squirrely?
Are you gonna take a scissor, maybe trim a little so it's not popping out?
Totally.
Fully shaven? No, no.
And but, you know, there have been moments that I've been shaving and I've been waxing and I said the men should have to deal with this too. But now that they are—
I like chest hair.
Are you kidding? I love it. Show me that you're a man.
Yeah, like your mom's chest hair. Like, yeah, I love it.
Look, everyone has different tastes. And some girls might like a baby dolphin-esque man. Yeah, instead of shaving your legs, like, build a business. Build a business. Call your children. Work. Fight the patriarchy with us.
Oh, I want a man to care about his appearance and the way he presents himself to the world.
Yeah.
No, no, I don't want a man who is doing routines that I do to look like me, like to be me, you know?
You're so— there's something nice about being with a man who doesn't have to worry about if his legs are shaven or not. And if you're worrying and I'm worrying, that's a stressful household.
Also, you guys don't have a beauty standard. What are you doing? Like, the random things they do, it's like, for what?
Who?
Like, you guys don't even have to get Botox. Like, shut up.
So true.
You don't need the extra razors.
So true.
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Ich hab deine Mobilfunkrechnung!
Dein ganzes Erspartes gehört jetzt mir!
Nein!
Nicht mein Erspartes!
Puh, nur ein Albtraum.
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Ich heiße Shannon Maldonado und bin die Gründerin von Yowie, einem Geschenkeladen, der auf Kunstwerke und handgefertigte Objekte spezialisiert ist. Meine Wahl fiel auf Shopify, weil Shopify im Vergleich zu den anderen Plattformen, die ich getestet habe, mit am benutzerfreundlichsten war. Ich habe vor allem an die Zukunft gedacht. Alle Tools, die für die Auswertung von Verkaufszahlen wichtig sind, zum Beispiel von Lagerbeständen, findet man direkt im Dashboard. Starte jetzt einen kostenlosen Test auf shopify.com.
Speaking of men, somebody was DMing me. A bunch of people were DMing me about my toolbox.
I actually got some DMs about your toolbox too.
A lot of girls were like really interested in my toolbox and I was like, oh my God, I'll like put a link.
Should you start a toolbox business for girls?
And I just put all my ex-boyfriends in it. Um, and I got a question, and someone was like, what— where do you keep your bolt cutters? Like, living in New York City, like, where do you— like, where do you keep your bolt cutters in apartment living? And like, how often are you pulling them out?
Wait, what's a bolt cutter?
Remember when— remember when I lived in that one building and they locked my storage unit because they said I didn't pay the fee. And I was like, not only did I pay the fee, I paid twice for one month, and you like— and you guys wouldn't give me my $50 back, and you're clearly over it. So they locked my storage unit, and I said, uh-uh, honey, call the police on me. So I ordered bolt cutters on Amazon and I bolt cut it off. I said, you're not gonna lock up my stuff that I paid for.
You never told us this. Did you put on like a black mask when you went down to do it?
No, but you want to know what? I whipped them up. Like, I'm walking down to the storage unit door and see my bolt cutters. So whatever, someone was like, where do you keep your bolt cutters? And I started laughing hysterically because I keep them next to my bed because I don't own a gun. I don't own a gun and I don't intend on owning a gun, but God forbid someone gets through my doors bolted and gets into my bedroom, you have another bolt coming your way, and it's my bolt cutters.
Every now and then I forget you're, you're just a small town girl, you know? You're just a small town girl and you're living in a big city. Stop by myself, I'll stop them. You're not getting past me. My bedroom.
No, you're not. Like, you're literally not. I think I have so much rage for men that like if a man really did try and like do something to me, I would—
it—
my fight or flight would be insane.
And you know, you have your— do you keep them under your bed or like not visible, like next to your vibrator?
No, that— she's in a cute little box. Tucked away. She can't be seen. No, I keep them like leaning up against my night side table so that if I hear someone, I can grab them. I'm not shuffling around under my bed. Things happen fast, Hannah. They happen quick. You got to be able to move.
No, I'm so— you just live life in fight or flight. You're just like— no, actually, with the podcast, every now and then there's like a little sound in the breeze and Paige would be like Someone's breaking in and we have to wait 3 minutes for you to make sure no one's broken into the house for you to continue the podcast. It's— we've actually lost years of our life to this.
There's a lot of freaks out there, okay? And for whatever reason, I draw them in.
There's a lot of freaks, you can't trust them.
No, you can't trust them. Which brings me to my next point. May I? I don't know what's going on in the universe, but the Lindsay Clancy case at the same time as the Hayden Panettiere situation. And we talked about Hayden Panettiere last pod, but I don't— I didn't re— like, I thought, oh, she had a— she overdosed, or she like took her own life, she had a really tough life. Things that are coming out, that the ex-boyfriend that she had a restraining order against, that him and his brother were at the scene of the crime the month her restraining order was up. And in her last building, her building put pictures up of the ex-boyfriend, like, if you see this man, he's not allowed in this building, like, please call the police. He was like, immediately gave whatever drugs she was on, like, to the police, like, brought a bag of drugs. Like, he was so helpful.
Did they declare it not a homicide already?
I don't think so. I think they're— they just said like investigating. I don't think they declared it anything.
So many things that happened in Nashville like happened in her life. And one of the things with Nashville, one of the singers had a stalker ex-boyfriend who was like showing up at the studio. Yeah, and all the drama of that. But anyway, we don't know the facts, right? I also want to say, with the Lindsay Clancy trial, again, there's tons of conspiracies out there. Yeah, but at least we can raise awareness to postpartum depression.
Yeah, Hayden went through it, and it's crazy that we have to have like all these different defense mechanisms rather than like dealing with the actual problem of like certain men. But I think like one of the things that makes me feel the safest is, is like, I'm always telling my friend something. Like, I feel like throughout your 20s you go through different relationships, and you maybe get into a relationship where you fight a lot and you tell your friend about it. And then you get that first boyfriend who's like, don't tell your family or your friends anything about us. And that is one of the biggest red flags.
My mom's on speaker right now.
Yeah, like, and I know there are a lot of people like, yeah, don't tell your family, because then like if you it, you know, you don't want them— and there is definitely boundaries. Like, I'm not calling my mom up for every little, little thing, but things that I find big, I'm telling her about it, and I'm telling my friends because God forbid something happens, I want my friend to be like, actually, she didn't think that. And so like with Hayden, I wish someone would be like, she would never have been with him. Anyway, I'm not a lawyer or anything, but I feel strongly about it.
It has to be looked into for sure. Um, but you are definitely on conspiracy TikTok.
I'm just home eating pickled garlic, minding my own business, watching reenactments of murders that could have possibly happened.
Speaking of other celebrities, yeah, I watched the Travis Barker documentary. Very interesting. Yeah, very interesting. He's like, poor kid gets kicked out of his home early because mom dies.
Where is he from?
I actually don't know. The mom early on was like, this kid's gonna be a drummer. And the mom like would sit with him and make sure he would do all his practices. And his— before she died, she was like, make sure he becomes a musician. Like, she like knew he was special.
How old was he when she died?
I think in his teens. So he immediately started acting out, whatever. But he gets, he gets in a band, gets picked up by another band, and then Blink-182 was on the rise and he was at a festival with them and their guy dropped out the day before and they were like, someone was like, Travis is like the best drummer, you should just have him do this gig. And he learned everything in one night, and they were just like, we gotta get this guy.
Wow, how old was he?
I feel like he was early 20s. But the thing with Travis, I guess, that like I didn't know is like he really is considered one of the best drummers of all time. I didn't know he was—
I didn't know that.
But I say Blink-182, it is the best of like, you make this last forever and ever and ever.
Where is the music like that anymore? Like, I feel like our first 2 years of high school, that's all it was. Like All-American Rejects and like Green Day. I feel like there's no bands like that anymore.
Mm-hmm. Just can't wait. Very first day.
The men are too busy shaving their goddamn stomachs.
Meanwhile, Travis was just getting— well, he was getting tons of tats because he also was the millennial time where, like, remember, people were like, if you get tattooed, you'll never get a job. Yeah, so you remember when people tell you that—
wait, that is similar to like, you won't have a calculator.
Yeah, Travis, he like got it on his neck to like make sure he had no plan B. And it's like, because entrepreneurs weren't a thing, influencers weren't a thing, it was like, if you got a neck tattoo, you're— you better be a sculpturist or a musician. Yeah, so he like blows up Fast forward. Also, he's produced some of like the best songs ever. He also does a lot of production. Anyway, he gets in a plane crash, and it's not any plane crash because Travis has always been scared of flying. Yeah, every flight he would take, he would call his dad just in case. Like, he was naturally a nervous flyer. He is with 4 people. 2 of them don't make it. Him and this DJ make it, but he was burned from the neck down.
Oh, I didn't know that.
Yeah, and they had to literally like—
him and DJ AM.
And DJ AM was the other one who recovered better. Like, he— it wasn't— he didn't have bad of a burn. And but they said DJ AM was weirdly like calm about the whole thing, where Travis was like clearly fucking traumatized. Yeah, but they almost said it was weirder DJ AM was so calm, they were like, what's he actually going through? And DJ AM was sober. And interesting. Yeah, he was sober, but then he OD'd.
Yeah, he died of a drug overdose.
Okay, so Travis recovers from the flying. He go— he tells Blink-182, I'm not flying anymore. I'm take— if we do a, a Europe trip, I'm taking a cruise. So he takes a cruise whenever they have a Europe tour. To Europe and just drives, and then drives around Europe, or however he does it. But then he talks about his love story with Courtney, and like, I know it's these documentaries, it's like so their perspective, but like his perspective was he's always known her, she's been a neighbor, she was just a friend, and he had— and he never thought he'd find love again. Like, he'd been through divorces. He honestly like almost didn't want to live anymore.
Mm-hmm.
And how she was there for him. And then that moment where you realize that this is more than a best friend, like, I'm in love. And he never imagined that she would, like, love him back. And then I guess she got out of her relationship. And then, like, he basically is like, I felt like a teenager again in love. Which I know, like, the media is just like, they just keep licking each other. But I think that they It's a really cool story of two people like finding love later in life is so—
yeah, cute. Because he's not even later in life, they're on— they're only 40.
I know, but it was literally like— it felt like a first love for them. Yeah, like it was giving like, this is my first love. They're obsessed with each other. Then they're having so much trouble having a baby. She had like miscarriage, I think, and all this stuff. And she's religious and she was like, God will give us a baby if we're meant to have one. I think they did IVF, it wasn't working, and then one day she was just like, I'm pregnant, I'm pregnant. And yeah, now it's just like, he's definitely been through a lot of shit. Um, but it's funny, the Kardashians love a man who's, who's going through it.
I wonder if throughout any of like the fame of the Kardashians. If obviously, like, we don't hear about it if they're not famous, but I wonder if they did at any point try and date like normal guys just to see like, oh, maybe I could date a normal guy, or if they're just like, no, not worth it.
The problem with being that famous is if you date a normal person, they immediately are not normal and you ruin their privacy life. Yeah, they're like, go back to work, have fun. Like, it's like Dalton Gomez, or like, he was just a real estate agent. Ariana's ex.
Oh my God, I thought you're talking about like the New York City high school. I'm like, what the hell does that have to do with anything? Like, you didn't even watch Gossip Girl, what are you talking about?
You don't know him like I know him. Um, so yeah, I feel like other stuff probably happened, but that was the gist of it, is just he had— but he's a crazy hard worker, he's passionate. And I feel like Kourtney's been good for like, oh yeah, he finally started to take care of himself.
Like, wait, so does he fly now?
Oh yes, that was the point of the story. So he basically said one day he woke up and he was like, I'm ready to fly. And his children, he instilled in his children, his children are scared of flying. Both kids are like, Dad, this is a death sentence. Do not fly. Mind you, I feel like the Kardashians fly like 6 times a day.
Hello, there's Kylie Air, Kim Air.
Well, they're in there right now, so I don't know how they dated unless Kourtney just like isn't traveling as much, or she's like, he just didn't go maybe, or he was like, I'll see you in 4 days, I'm driving. She's like, okay. But she basically, he basically says, I'm ready to fly. He goes, plan a trip, don't tell me about the trip until 24 hours in advance because I can't have too much time to think about it. So one day she's like, we're going to Mexico tomorrow.
Oh, I want someone to do that for me.
No, like, it was really romantic. Yeah, she's like, we're going to Mexico tomorrow. And she said he freaked out, and they like— obviously it was like a big private plane, and she's holding his hand, and they get on, and they just helped each other overcome stuff, which was a nice love Rom-com.
Honestly, I could overcome pretty much anything on a private flight. Like, I'll get over any of it.
But he, he was on a private flight when it crashed.
Yeah, that's scary as fuck. To actually be on a plane crash is to be in a situation where you should have died and people did, but you didn't. I must feel— I couldn't imagine, you probably feel guilty for living.
Guilt, the survivor guilt. Yeah, he's just like, why am I here? Especially when it was his gig, like he made everyone else come for him, which was really hard for him. But ultimately he lost his mom, he lost his friends, like he lost a lot of things. So to see him keep his head up and get through his addiction and like have a loving family right now was— it's inspirational that whatever you're going through, there's light at the end of the tunnel. Which leads me to Women's Time of the Week.
Oh, fuck yeah!
I have two. Mickey Fisher is: realize that once you open a bottle of wine, if you lose the cork, you can put a tampon in it. Yeah, we could have been using tampons this whole time. Duh.
Wait, yeah. Why didn't anyone think of that?
Like, period, done. Way better than a cork, and you never get stuck. You just pull it out with the string. Hello? Oh my God, then you could put it in your pussy and get drunk. Sorry, sorry, Kim. Sorry, Kim.
Isn't it crazy that there was a time where kids were doing that?
Look, the kids have been crazy. I don't know what they're up to.
Wait, oh my God, I said something the other day and I go, kids are crazy. And I was like, I can't even remember what it is, what it was.
Oh my God, do you remember we used to wear Sophie shorts rolled up like to my spine? Like, it was— we'd wear the tiniest little Sophie shorts. And nowadays if a girl wears tiny jeans, I'm like, is she okay?
I'm like, that can't be comfortable.
It can't be comfortable.
Someone said that rip Gen Z has an equivalent to ripped jeans, but I literally can't remember what it is. But it's like their version of, I'm not buying like jeans with rips in them already. It's something weird that they wear. I forgot. Whatever.
My, my woman of STEM of the week runner-up is Mama Riss on Instagram. She can't keep her— these little bushes green. They keep— so she started spray painting them green and they look really good. Sometimes the water just doesn't do the job.
Where is this?
In her lawn. In her lawn. Yeah, she has like a little cute— and they were like turning brown all the time. She said, you know what, I'm gonna take this in my own hands.
And sometimes that's just what you have to do.
Yep, truly.
Ich hab gehört, du willst deinen Mobilfunkvertrag kündigen? Aber so einfach lass ich dich nicht davonkommen. Wie wär's mit einem XXL-Streaming-Abo? Einem Zweit-Handy?
Nein, nein, ich möchte doch Ich will nur in Ruhe gelassen werden!
Puh, nur ein Albtraum.
Damit Mobilfunk im echten Leben kein Albtraum wird: FRANK. Von Beginn an ohne Mindestvertragslaufzeit. Monatlich kündbar. Für 10 im Monat. FRANK. Nein, FRANK.
I love an ingrown. Oh my God, Hannah, I'm actually like, I don't even want to say it on the pod because I don't want anyone to repeat it.
Just whisper it.
Okay, so we're talking about like nipple hairs like a couple weeks ago, and I'm just like, I can't believe we talked about that on Giggly Squad.
You were really excited to talk about it, Hannah.
The other day I looked down, I had a I almost want to just show you.
Why was I—
I had an ingrown nipple hair. It was in two pores.
I go, no. I go, so it looks like you had a nipple on your nipple.
I go, there's no way. I had to take tweezers and like scratch the top of the skin so I could like get it. Disgusting.
How did you let it get to that point? Are you not exfoliating your nipples? I feel like you can't. It's too sensitive. You can't exfoliate nipples.
I was like, how long did I let this go?
Wait, Us Weekly, please, please be like, Paige overcomes ingrown hair.
I can't believe the New York Times printed that.
The photo editor of the New York Times needs a raise because I didn't send— I sent a video. They were like, can you send a video? And I sent like a pretty photo of me on Seth Meyers smiling.
They were like, no, we'll screenshot.
I have to buy— well, I have to buy the New York Times. I have to buy it. I think I'm gonna take a photo with it.
Um, no, we have to buy it. What were we just saying?
Oh, my cyst.
Hannah has a— calls me, I would say end of spring, beginning summer is when we— like, you told me about the cyst.
Oh yeah, I showed it on the pod.
Oh yeah, she's been there for quite a while, and I said to let me go with you when you pop it. And Hannah sends me this dumb— I honestly was more insulting that you sent the picture rather than just being like, the cyst popped on its own, like I squeezed it. You sent like it had like a little bit of red blood, like there's no pus, nothing. You're like, oh, popped it. I was like, fuck you, Hannah.
No, no, I thought she was gonna like that I sent her any information about my cyst. She loves that stuff.
Holding the phone, taking a video. I wanted to see two thumbs come in, squeeze. I wanted what was gonna come out in this screen.
Okay, my side of the story was I just accepted I had this like thing on my back because my grandpa gets them, and I was like feeling connected to him. I was like, it's generational.
Most Hannah coded.
At a certain point, as a burner, you start getting stuff on your back.
And they are humps, and they're like them.
They're part of life. Look, I'm a canvas for my cysts. So I— but it was so thick, like, you couldn't squeeze it. So I was like, this isn't a pimple. But it kept growing. And then I was like with my whole family, and at some point someone started— someone saw it in my bathing suit, and the whole family's like, you gotta get checked, you gotta get checked.
There's nothing an Italian family loves more than when a member of the family has something that they can all physically look at, touch, and potentially squeeze.
Like, oh my God, everyone had an opinion. But then, yeah, they're all looking at— they go, oh, I had one of those.
Does it hurt? Put a hot pack. Have you hot packed it? The amount of times in my life I've asked— been asked if I've hot packed something I'm like, I haven't gotten around to it.
When something's on my back, I forget about it. I forgot I had it, right? I did do a shoot with Lululemon, and maybe I'll post it somewhere. I— they were like, turn around, we want to see the back of the sports bra. And I turned around like, okay, get this sick back, at least gonna look sick.
Yeah, you're like, you weren't expecting this ass.
They sent the photo, there's a huge cyst on my back that I forgot about, and I'm on here modeling like giving cunt. Giving baddie, you know, everyone. Oh, and I'm just there like, is it gorgeous? Is my back gorgeous?
It's talking. It's like I'm actually—
help me.
It's like I need a— I deserve a day rate for this shoot.
So they're like, Hannah, get a dermatologist appointment. I go, don't even know where to start with that. So Jeannie takes it upon herself, the nurse, gets me a doctor's appointment.
Oh, I thought you're gonna say operated, like on the kitchen.
No. No, that's what you want. That's like your little freaky, like, dream. So then my phone starts blowing up with them, like, calling me to, like, ask questions. So, like, that's why I hate the doctor, but, like, I guess you have to do this stuff. And I'm like, please email me.
Anyway, so did you go yet?
Well, I was— so I was supposed to go, but then I'm thinking about it and I'm in the shower and it actually was kind of itching me. Yeah, it started to get itchy. So I said, what if I just it's hot in here. I said, what if I squeeze a tiny bit? So I squeezed a tiny bit. I looked at my finger and there was white stuff on it.
Yeah.
So I said, let's go, it's go time, it's go time, baby. I was doing it for like 10 minutes, no mirror, just squeezing raw dog, but like with the hot shower. So I'm going in different positions and it's the— it kept pussing.
You're just basically— you're blind back there, going in blind. Yeah.
And then I was like, okay, it's definitely flatter. And I took a photo and it was super red, and that's why I sent it to you because you're my doctor. And then I went finally to the derm yesterday and they were like, yeah, it's a pimple.
Yeah, it's just a cyst.
Well, she called it cyst and I was like, I don't know, a cyst is just a big pimple.
Yeah, just like a deeper, like deeper in your skin.
Do you like me more when I have my cyst or when I don't?
No, I like you when you don't have your cyst.
Okay, good. But she said that it's probably gonna keep growing back unless I cut it out.
Yeah, you gotta get the bulb. You gotta get the bulb of it.
Yeah, so I can't swim for 2 weeks if they do surgery, and I was like, I play mermaid with Lois every day, so she'd get really mad at me.
But like, because of stitches.
Oh. Really?
They would have to do stitches on it? Okay, that must be—
it's a big one.
I need an updated pic because now I'm gonna watch the progression on if it grows back. Yeah, let's see it. We've talked about it.
Oh, it's okay.
A lot of times this summer it's been you showing us things and us having to lean in and really look.
Actually, I feel like it's like Is it like gone?
No.
Oh, well, Jeannie's getting mad at me because on TikTok Shop they have really good like kids stuff for like $13. So she's like, Lois does not need more purple sparkly dresses. And I'm like, but that's what she loves. And she's like, we can't fit this many purple sparkly dresses in her closet. And I'm like, she'll make it work.
If Lois will do anything, she'll make it work. Well, you could start a closet at your house.
I'm gonna imagine she has her own walk-in closet when she comes.
She would love it. You could like be like, this is like your princess closet, and you could just do it with all like costume, like princessy stuff. Send Lois over for a week.
I know. We were walking in town yesterday and she goes, I'm gonna go in this store. Picks the most expensive Italian store, leather.
She walks into Loro Piana and she's like, I'll take this. This, two of those. Hannah's gonna need a lot.
Yeah, we walk in, they're like, ciao, everything has been imported from Italy this morning. And she's looking around and she's like, yes, no, yes. She's touched— and she's not, she's not touching stuff like a toddler would. She's touching it like, like, she's not like— she's like, she's like, she pulls out like a little eye thing where she—
like a magnifier where she's like She's like, what count thread is this?
She's like, real diamonds? No, that's giving Swarovski crystal. Um, she— yeah, she goes— just loves expensive things. And she's like, Hannah, get this, Hannah, get that. And I'm like, Lois, I've been with you for 3 weeks, I'm out of money and patience.
And patience.
And patience. Um, also, I called you during dinner regarding Sterling Point.
Do I have like the worst memory ever? When did you call me during dinner? Who was eating, you or I?
I was. During mine. See, if I'm eating, you're eating. It's our dinner.
Clock it, clock it. If I'm eating, you're eating. Gals, gal.
Girls, girls.
Wait, when? I don't even remember.
I called you because Someone texted me and was like, hey, oh yeah, a giggler realized when we went to the Knicks game a couple years ago, one year, 2 years, we were sitting next to Skylar Gisondo, who is a big-time actor. I'd never seen him in anything, so I didn't know.
He's gonna be in the new Meet the Parents with Ariana Grande.
Iconic. Sitting next to my dad, just kicking it with my dad, the sweetest, kindest guy. And he was with his girlfriend, who I think I was sitting next to. She's an actress, getting talking, yapping, gossiping, whatever. I haven't seen Sterling Point yet, but we were sitting next to— we were saying, what's her name?
Ella Rubin.
Ella Rubin. So I— you guys, I'm friends with Ella Rubin. If anyone— I mean, she was— we're kind of—
when you sit through a whole basketball game together, you were 3 people away from her.
No, no.
Yes, because it went my dad, me, you, your dad, her boyfriend, her.
I think it's possible.
It is. I remember that. But you did talk to her in the back room. I remember you at a table of people and you were talking to them, so I think you did have conversation. So yeah, you're friends.
So we're friends. Um, everyone's talking about Sterling Point. I need to watch it.
You have to watch it.
It's—
you want to know what one of the best things about it is? You feel like they're really their age. They're really talking to each other the way they were. And I think people are nervous about like AI writing scripts. Like, it felt very real, like whatever was happening. Oh, so it's good. It's cute. And she's just like so beyond gorgeous that when she's She's the type of pretty that I love to watch. Like, you don't care what she's doing on the screen, your eyes are so drawn to her. She's so captivating.
Well, let's be honest, you love a brunette.
I love a curly hair brunette.
You love a curly hair brunette.
Don't get me started on a curly hair brunette. I just— speaking of one of my favorite curly hair brunettes, Margaret Qualley just went to a, uh, Did you see? She went to a movie premiere and she wore the new Chanel sandals that like don't have a front. Here's the thing, and I'm not just saying this because they're Chanel, they're iconic. Yeah, in the sense of they're editorial. No one's buying them and going to the bodega for that situation and a celebrity to be wearing at an event like I'm like, so cool. Am I going and buying them? No.
It wasn't just clickbait. It was like, if you're gonna wear these— for people who don't know, it's just a heel and you're like, the rest of your foot's just out, but it has a Chanel logo and it wraps around your ankle, and then that's it, foot to ground. It's art.
It's art. It's art.
I love how someone was like, I can't believe a celebrity actually wore these Chanel flats. I'm like, that's what being a celebrity is for, is finding the craziest thing on the runway and showing up in it. I mean, that's me. That's what I would do.
No, I think that, you know, it's—
and how you make it work.
Yeah, it's expressing yourself. Fashion is art. And it's like, yeah, I'm obviously walking a red carpet and then I'm gonna put real shoes on. This is for the picture. Yeah, it's for the pic.
So shout out Margot. Also, she's single right now. Yeah, it's, it's giving freeing her foot, freeing her life. From men.
It's giving free foot pics because I'm ready.
Yes, yes, yes, yes! We're obsessed with you, Margaret. Would you— if your name was Margaret, would you go by Marge? I would.
You would?
Well, you can't go by Margie.
I think I'd go by Maggie.
Is Maggie short for Margaret?
I think so. What would Maggie be short for?
Magenta.
Wait, I keep seeing videos on TikTok and it's girlfriends showing their boyfriends a list of words and being like, pronounce this, and they can't do it. And I know it's— it pissed me off. It actually pissed me off because I'm like, you're like 25 and you can't see the word chalet? And no, like epitome, you can't see that word and know. Some of them, okay, there's some random doozies.
Pied de terre. Hello, no one went to French class.
No one has an ounce of culture.
Wait, what's it called when you walk in and it's that little room when you walk in?
Like a foyer. Yeah, yeah, that's my—
one of my favorite words that you say. Um, last question and hardest question of the night.
What are we questions. You, you some speak in game show host. Like sometimes you'll start a sentence and it's like, okay, but now we're back.
Welcome back. What? We— who's gonna win this one? This is the question. If you were— this was online— if you were a finger, which finger are you?
I'm pinky. All day. You don't expect much from me. I'm not holding things on my own. I'm basically there for show. Leave me alone.
But you can change a sip from a normal sip to an elegant sip.
Oh, I have a lot of power. Also, when you're evil, you use your pinky like I've picked things with this pinky nail. Yeah, what are you—
our pinky? I was arguably gonna say your ring finger.
Okay, and why?
Because it's giving star power, it's where the jewelry is, it's— but I actually think pinky is more independent. Ring finger like needs a man.
Yeah, I would say ring finger is like super misogynistic, and I'm like shocked you picked that. I thought you were gonna immediately go middle.
I just thought ring— think I was just thinking of diamonds, but I didn't think deep enough, and I apologize for misconstruing your identity.
I think you're middle finger because you're— you make a statement without saying anything to your haters. You're like, hey, just watch this, and they get— and they know.
Wait, do you respect me because of how I deal with my enemies?
How do you deal with them?
I don't.
Yeah, I do respect you.
I was gonna say pointer finger because she's, she's active. She's a little thicker than the other fingers and she'll try anything once.
I don't even know why that's funny, but it's so funny.
I actually can argue that also I think I'm a thumb because thumbs are handicoded. I was not like a Megan Fox thumb, but like a normal. And I don't mean to shame Megan Fox, but like, it's funny that the most beautiful girl in the world has a little, a little thumb. But the thumb is a little too positive. Yeah, yeah, it's a little corny.
It's a little too much. Yeah, you're right.
I'm a middle finger.
Yeah, you're a middle finger. I don't know why. Yeah, and I don't know why you're trying to deny yourself.
What's grace? Oh, she might be pointer finger.
She may be pointer for sure because she is like very in charge and like, like she's in charge of the rest of them. Like she's basically telling—
yeah, because we're showmen, you know, you're, you're like this, I'm going like this to people. She's telling people.
Yeah, she's making sure things are in order, counting. She's the liaison between you and the thumb, who don't get along. They're always fighting over which action is better, and so Grace has to be in the middle to be like, no, no, no, while I'm all the way on the end and like, don't talk to me, don't know what's going on, don't care, tanning.
Okay, well, that was really, really fun. Thank you for playing that game with us. Um, tomorrow I have my cat cafe, so I'm really excited. I'm getting glam for it. I turned into you.
Hell yeah, the cats deserve glam.
They deserve glam. They're coming in full glam. Have you seen their cat eyes? So I'm getting glam. We're going to be kicking. It's going to be fun. I'll let you guys know how it goes. And I love that. Talk to you guys later.
Bye bye.
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