Transcript of Giggling about bodyguards, breakdancing, and Italian bread

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Einem Zweit-Handy?

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Frank!

Nein, Frank! Stellen Sie sich vor, Sie stehen mit Ihrem Auto an der Ampel. Es wird grün, Sie wollen anfahren. Plötzlich ruckelt die Automatikschaltung und das Getriebe reagiert langsamer. Wann haben Sie das letzte Mal Getriebeöl wechseln lassen? Mit jedem Kilometer altert auch das Getriebeöl. Ein regelmäßiger Ölwechsel hilft, Getriebe und Fahrzeugwert zu erhalten. Warten Sie nicht, bis es beim Schalten ruckelt oder ein teurer Getriebeschaden droht. Fragen Sie jetzt Ihre Werkstatt nach einem Automatikgetriebeölwechsel mit dem Smart Wartenkit von Meile, Ihr Spezialist für Automatikgetriebewartung. Und wann schalten Sie?

Meile.

Sup, Gigglers?

Gary, fix your Wi-Fi.

Manifest that shit. We can't be managed.

I mean, the day just got away from me.

Hello, my gaggle of Gigglers. Paige is still in Italia.

I literally just got home from the Venice Film Festival.

Ciao, come si dice?

I had a bodyguard tonight.

You love having a bodyguard.

Yeah, I loved it.

You love having— I'm normally your bodyguard.

I said, Giorgio, come on, we're walking. Um, well, Armani really had a bodyguard, and then like they just like sent him with me. But at one point he was like, sorry, like my English isn't that good. And I was like, it's actually so good, it's better than my Italian. And he was like, what other languages do you speak? I said, no, no, no, I'm American.

Oh, Europeans are so cool. I only speak English. They're like, I dream in Spanish and I, and I sing in French. Was he hot?

Here's the thing, Giorgio was a good-looking man, yes. But here's the thing about Italy, I just like— it's actually infuriating, specifically Venice. All the men are so good-looking And I'm like, how did we have Ratboy Summer? You know, like when there's these— like, like my favorite guy, my Michel Morrone, they all look like that. He's a dime a dozen here.

Yeah.

A dime a freaking dozen. Okay, I'm like, what's— where are all the hot people in America, specifically the men? I haven't seen a hot male actor other than like maybe the Love There's something in the bread, maybe. It's got to be the gluten. It really has to be.

People need gluten.

It's actually infuriating. I looked at one guy, I was like, okay, so your job is to drive boats around? Like, no, come to America. You could be—

You could drive every girl around.

You could be anything. You could be anything you wanted.

You love having a man just like, paddle you around. That's where you should be.

Well, you want to know what? Every time stairs were presented to me, Giorgio would put his arm out, and I was like, yeah, okay, Ariana Grande. Yeah, this is what I need, Giorgio. Yeah, take my arm.

He's holding you and you like put your head back just like at the end of Romeo and Juliet.

I was like, what if you carried me onto the boat?

Hold me close. Whenever I have a bodyguard, which is very rare because I look— I look like a bodyguard myself. We start chatting.

Yeah.

They don't need to be there. Like, I'm not—

No, I was like, no one knows who I am in Italy. I was like, this is gonna be the easiest job you've ever had, buddy.

But also I'm like, look, the gigglers, chill as fuck. Look, sometimes they get drunk, they get a little loud.

Yeah.

I'm loud. We can handle that. I'm like, will they outsmart you? Yes. But that's funny for me to watch.

Speaking of outsmarting, good segue. Watched the Love Island reunion. Well, I had it on in the background and I was on my phone. I'm not a scholar. My, my college is done.

Someone disagree?

My college, they said we're out. Okay, I hate to sound like a boomer, but Gen Z is really— they have to stop. They were on there talking and like saying their points, but every saying, like common saying, they were getting wrong. Like, one girl goes, okay, well, if the shoe was on the other hand—

Obsessed, obsessed. See, that's the thing, my job on this podcast is to defend Gen Z and make their existence known because I love you all. And one thing about me, can't get a saying right for a life.

Another girl goes, and if you want to die on that bed, then that's your prerogative. I looked— I literally looked up from my phone I, I go, even I didn't think of that one.

That's the beautiful thing about language and Americans. Yeah, we can't speak other languages, but we also will make up our own.

I was like, I couldn't do it. Honestly, I didn't really even finish it because they started to— the girls started to like really fight with each other, and I was like, guys, all these men suck. I can't believe you guys are even fighting with each other. Every single one of your partners Is a loser.

I heard that like one of the girls people liked in the first edit, but then the reunion happened and everyone was like, wait, we don't fuck with her. Which is so unfortunate because you almost got away with it.

That's the name of reality TV, baby. Wait, Keenan Thompson?

Wait, Keenan— wait, wait, you got— wait. What's the show that he was on? It was All That, but like, what's, what's the show he had like with Keenan?

Keenan and Kel.

Yeah, like, who's Keenan and who's Kel in this group? You're— I'm Keenan. I—

yeah, you're definitely Keenan. I'm definitely Kel.

Because Kel was like sassier. I feel like Kel was an idiot. Wait, so tell them what happened. We like—

here on Amy Poehler's podcast, she asks Keenan like, what is making you laugh right now? And he said he loves watching like his friends succeed and his friends work. And he thanked Amy Poehler for putting on Paige and Hannah. He said us by name. He didn't say like Giggly Squad. He said Paige and Hannah.

It was crazy. He didn't say Hannah and Paige, but yes, he said Paige and Hannah.

And you know what's funny? He name-dropped us.

No, no, no, no. He said our names so casually, like as if he's like, you know, little Paige and Hannah, you know, like hanging out.

I saw them last week. And the funny thing is that like—

We've never met him.

I've never met him. But you wanna know what? At Las Culturistas 2 years ago, he was sitting in the front row and I got up to win Cool Girl Award and him and I locked eyes at one point.

Oh, so you go way back with Keenan.

I said, I think Keenan and I just locked eyes.

Wait, you're long-lost friends with Keenan?

Yeah.

'Cause my thing is, just speaking broadly too about the comedy community, It is still a boys club. No matter how successful you are as a woman, a bunch of boys will come together and still talk shit about your comedy. And then anything you post online, all the men who love good good are gonna comment about how you suck and how all you do is talk about sex. And then when a guy posts a sex video, people are like, this was an incredible bit and I love how he thought it all up. So for Keenan to be a male comic, Who's also on SNL, which is considered gold standard and like pretty prestigious.

Not to mention he's been on TV—

For 300 years and he's only 28.

Yeah, he's been on TV for like 3 decades.

I don't think he even knows, and maybe he does, just like how beautiful that is for him to do for women in the arts and women in STEM. Like, because it takes one man to just like say something nice about a woman and it makes everything more beautiful.

Well, because men are inherently followers where women are leaders. No, seriously.

Yeah.

Men love taking orders from other men. Men love being on sports teams where they're listening to another man and then they hug other men. Like, they love following. We like leading. So yeah, it takes one man to be like, actually, I think those girls are okay. And then all of a sudden all the other men are like, oh, okay.

And—

but one thing I wanted to say though is you don't— like, name-dropping is such a thing, but you don't know when you're being name-dropped.

I feel it in my bones. You ever just have a twitch? Middle of the night, you're like, ugh!

Yeah, I actually— I actually know that there's some motherfuckers out there name-dropping me that I— that would make me vomit.

Did you ever see a photo of like, people hanging out on Instagram and you're like, I know they talked about me.

Yes, every day of my life.

You're like, I know that took up at least 30 minutes of this hang. This hang was 30 minutes and the PowerPoint was me.

That's when my ears rang. I go, what? One of you fucking bitches, why don't you text me?

But you know what I would argue? And this Keenan thing made me realize that sometimes I'll get in my head because you think people hate you or they're talking bad about you. Like, you're, you know, you wake up and you're like, is everyone mad at me?

Yeah.

But what if you shifted that perspective? Mental health moment of the week. And you said What if there's people I don't even know who are talking good about me right now?

That's nice.

Isn't that nice? And Keenan in that room, he was— and there was— you guys, we didn't bribe him. We've literally like— Paige made accidental eye contact. Yeah, that's just— I heard also, like, because I know people who know him, that he is like the sweetest ever.

He seems it.

Like a literal angel.

He really I loved all that when I was little, but specifically his skits. Like, I always was so excited for Pierre Escargot. Like, I always thought that was the funniest skit of the whole show.

So shout out to Keenan, we love you so much.

Yeah, that was really nice.

Also adding one more thing about women, because I don't feel like we talk about women at all on the pod.

Um, what do you mean? All we do is talk about women.

I'm just being sarcastic.

Gloria Steinem died.

I was gonna say Gloria Steinem has passed away, one of the most incredible feminists of our time. Yeah, and hopefully she's having a drink with Dolly right now.

Sorry, my lips look so good right now.

I'm literally talking about Sorry, Connie, this is like my third-wave feminism right now.

And they'd also agree that my lip liner is superb.

They also would agree you do look really fucking good. Um, she had one quote that I thought was really interesting that I want to read to you right now. Sorry, I feel like you're in a college professor course on Zoom and you're like, don't want to listen.

I'm about to go camera off or anything.

That's the energy that I'm giving you too. I'm like, I'm gonna need you to focus for the next 10 seconds. Okay, it's Gloria Steinem said, any woman who chooses to behave like a full human being should be warned that the armies of the status quo will treat her as something of a dirty joke.

That is really true.

I was just gonna say it reminds me of my firing, which we, we barely speak about every episode.

Your firing?

My firing. And How I said I wanted to do something else and be something else, and everyone really laughed at me.

I actually can't wait for the Morgan Stewart pod to come out because like I talked about you so much because like what else do I have going on other than you're my friend? And she like didn't know that you got fired, and so like I told her.

Oh no, did you have to explain it?

She was like, she was like, so then did you leave after?

And you're like, that's another thing!

I go, I stayed for 4 more seasons. I had to get more revenge for my girl. I did it for my friend.

And I had work to do.

Um, I saw a quote recently because this used to be my kryptonite when I was like in my teens and 20s. Like, if I wanted to break up with a guy, I would be like, okay, but the next girl he dates, like, he's gonna treat her so much better. And my mom would get so mad at me because she'd be like, okay, that's like not a thing. Like, no, he's not. This guy's a loser. And so I keep seeing on TikTok people being like, so what if he treats the next girl well? What if your next guy buys you a yacht and names it after you? It's so true. Like, you can't worry about— like, when you want to break up with someone, you have to remind yourself, you know them, you know who they are, and if you don't want to be with them, you have to go.

That's why I hate having a dream about an ex. Do you ever dream about an ex and it like puts them in such a good light, and then you wake up and you're like, No, I, I couldn't get food to go down when I was around him.

I haven't dreamt about an ex in a really long time. Oh, another thing they kept doing on Love Island— instead of saying taken, they kept saying tookin', and that really pissed me off.

Okay, that's where we're gonna have to put the foot down.

The literacy crisis is really— it's not good.

Tookin'— wait, I love how one person said it and everyone was like, oh, I love that word, I'm gonna keep using it.

No, I can't. I couldn't take it anymore. Did you notice you can rearrange your grid on Instagram?

Yes, but that's way too much admin for me. Like, I don't want that many options. Are you really happy about it? Have you scheduled an organizing day?

No, I haven't stopped. The minute I post something new and it has a new color and I go, well, what if we brought this picture up from the archives? It's actually taken over my whole life.

No, that's what I'm worried— I'm not touching it, you know. I don't delve into grid aesthetic.

And it's so easy to switch them around.

Well, what do you think about Instagram changing their font?

I don't really care about that because there was a day where like we had a home button and then one day we just didn't. Things change.

Wow, look at you. You used to be very bad with change and now you're just this water sign just flowing through the world.

Now I'm like, get it out, I don't care. Actually, Josephine— me and Josephine have had such a lovely time together. Josephine said, um, She was like, do you ever feel like if you do something wrong, do you ever feel like you're back in middle school and you're like getting in trouble? Which I used to feel like that all the time. Like, I never wanted people to be mad at me because I'd be like, oh my God, am I in trouble?

Same.

And I was like, it wasn't until my 30s that I had to like reiterate in my brain, you're not in charge. No one is in charge of me. You want to yell at me for what? Like, you can't fire me. You can't— what are you gonna do, call my dad? Like, okay. And so I literally said to her, I was like, Josephine, there's no one on this planet that can yell at you but me.

Oh, well, that's the thing. And this one girl did like a video about it, how we were talking about how our assistants are just so much more than assistants. Yeah, assistants are real and it's a very important job, but like our girls, 'cause they've been with us for so long, like Josephine's more than an assistant. Grace is the CEO. And when people see Grace, they're like, is that your assistant? I'm like, gun to their head, I'm like, what'd you call her? What'd you call her?

One day Josephine texted me and she was like, hey, do you mind if I change my title to this? And I was like, yeah, I don't care.

Oh yeah, she was like creative inspirational project manager stylist.

I have to find what it is because it's—

There was a millennial time where everyone was like CEO of adventure.

Creative Operations Director for Paige DeSorbo. And I was like, fuck yeah, Josephine! But that is— she is like— Josephine does all my creative, like, I think you should do this, I think you should stand here, what if you wore this? Like, she really is my Gen Z.

Can I just say something about Gigli Squad?

Yeah.

And I'm not talking about Daphne. Like, I feel like Daphne, it's still small, but you've like— you have a built-out company. Giggly Squad, you guys.

It's 3 people.

When I tell you it's me, Paige, and Grace, and Grace hasn't slept in years. Okay, and we will do this for the people.

Grace tried to take one vacation this summer. One. She goes, guys, I haven't taken a vacation. This is my one vacation. Please leave me alone for this week. And we said, um, okay. What if something happens?

No, Grace had a family emergency in which she was like, are you guys okay?

She's like, hey, I'm gonna be off my phone for a couple hours, make sure you stay alive.

We talk to people and they're like, okay, so who's your like CEO? Who's your head of operations? Who's your— they start naming all these things. I'm like, blah blah blah blah blah, call Grace. You know when they're like, can I speak to the manager? I'm like, you're looking at her. Yeah, okay, talk to me, talk to her, talk to her. But I honestly think the reason why Giggly Squad hasn't evolved at all in a good way is because—

I think we've evolved.

No, but isn't like— we've been doing this since 2020.

I hope we've evolved a smidge.

We haven't like changed is because I don't want to hire some random person and like teach them how to do what we do. Like, we are— no, I think sometimes people try to build their businesses too fast, and this is not just in like creator, I think in general And they hire a bunch of people and they try to grow, and then you lose quality over quantity. And that's our entrepreneur section of the week.

It's so exhausting getting to know someone.

Oh, actually, we can't do interviews. That's why we've never done anything. I don't wanna meet someone.

I can't. I don't wanna get to know any new people. Hi.

Thank you. Thank you for— I think— hi, nice to meet you.

Because also Josephine knows like little tells about me that no one else would know. Like you would pick up on it, Grace would pick up on it, and my mom. Like I can't reteach that to someone. This— we're going on 6 years. If you told me I could get an app which is basically like having a personal trainer, I would have laughed. But honestly, Ladder is the closest thing I found to actually having a personal trainer and not having to go anywhere. Ladder is an expert strength training plan, not a content library. These aren't influencer workouts or challenges It's real people, real progressive programming designed by certified coaches. Your progress is tracked automatically, and the app remembers your weights, reps, and sets, so you can see yourself getting stronger over time. And it costs less than $1 a day. That's elite-level personal training for a fraction of what you'd pay in person. Ladder now also includes nutrition tracking at no extra cost. There's also real community behind it. Your team has a group chat where your coach answers questions and members motivate each other. It's so much better than pretending you actually know what you're doing when you're watching workouts and you're just trying to mimic it.

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Ich hab gehört, du willst deinen Mobilfunkvertrag kündigen? Aber so einfach lass ich dich nicht davonkommen! Wie wär's mit einem XXL-Streaming-Abo?

Einem Zweit-Handy?

Nein, nein, ich möchte doch nur in Ruhe gelassen werden! Puh, nur ein Albtraum.

Damit Mobilfunk im echten Leben kein Albtraum wird: FRANK. Von Beginn an ohne Mindestvertragslaufzeit. Monatlich kündbar. Für €10 im Monat.

Frank!

Nein. Frank.

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Ganz genau.

Ingrid!

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Ich heiße Shannon Maldonado und bin die Gründerin von Yowie, einem Geschenkeladen, der auf Kunstwerke und handgefertigte Objekte spezialisiert ist. Meine Wahl fiel auf Shopify, weil Shopify im Vergleich zu den anderen Plattformen, die ich getestet habe, mit am benutzerfreundlichsten war. Ich habe vor allem an die Zukunft gedacht.

Alle Tools, die für die Auswertung von Verkaufszahlen wichtig sind, zum Beispiel von Lagerbeständen, Wait, you would have been so proud of Dez, who I have to give a shout out because he is a silent partner of Giggly Squad. As in, like, he doesn't know what's going on, but we bring him in when necessary.

Yeah.

And I had an outfit I was supposed to wear, and I put it on, and we had a photographer and Dez in the apartment. And Dez was like, you're not fucking wearing that. And I'm like, okay, um, why?

Because he thought it was ugly?

Well, deep down I knew it was a risk, and like, my risks don't always work out. And deep down I actually didn't love it, but I also like was kind of told I had to wear it. And I'm like, Dez, like, I know. And he's like, uh, that's not you. Like, it doesn't look right. Like, and I was like loving that he was so passionate about my image, even though he's a straight man, so you have to question it. But like, he was like talking from his heart. And then the photographer, who is a gaygler, was like— I, I said, stop, let me talk to him. And he looks at him and he goes, your husband's actually so right, and I'm so happy that he spoke up, and like, he really cares about you and protects you.

Oh my God, that is so nice.

And then afterwards he was like, I really fuck with Dez because of like how he spoke up about— and I'm like, we were actually going to the US Open.

Whenever my mom says something diabolical to me I am always thankful because I'm like, if you don't tell me, who's gonna tell me?

Exactly. I don't want yes-men in my life. So Des calls my ass out, and I think that's so important. And yeah, does it hurt my ego sometimes? Yes. But is humility the most important thing in this world?

Yeah.

Maybe. Maybe. Um, I've been watching shit while you've been in Venice. We've had very different experiences. While you're on the gondola I've been on the sectional, horizontal. Okay, Pastor's Wife. Yeah, one of the best documentaries I've seen in a while.

Yeah, for sure.

And I, I didn't see the last episode yet, but if there's a pastor involved, I'm watching. Oh, sorry, I'm getting FaceTime from Lois, who by the way is blowing up on TikTok. Have you seen?

No.

She just told a story about like stuff Lois has said, and the Gigglers found the video, and now like she's an icon. And Jeannie was like, I love the Giggly Squad community, they're the nicest girls in the world. And I'm like, I know, it's crazy. So anyway, pastor's wife— where do I begin? There is a certain culture, like it's like to date the quarterback, like to date the famous guy, like to date the guy who makes a lot of money. There's a community where like dating the pastor means you're like, you're that girl.

Yeah.

Like being the pastor's wife. Like you walk in church and you're like, oh my God, paparazzi. Like, like the pastor's wife is an it girl that everyone wants to be. In another world, you were a pastor's wife.

Totally, totally.

It's like being the first lady. What's it called? The first lady. Yeah, the first lady of the church. And some of these churches, it's like 50 people and it's a made-up name and some narcissistic guy just yelling random thoughts that he has, but that's their community, okay?

But they're oddly all very sexual.

Every single sermon that they were showing, this guy was like, your man is gonna wanna fuck everything and it's your job to never say no to him and he's gonna have demons and he's gonna wanna fuck. And I'm like, I'm just here on a Monday trying to learn about—

I'm like, I don't know, every guy I've met after 30 seconds Devin can't really get it up anymore, so— and they have issues.

And what was crazy is, you know what we always say, like, when you can't eat, when your hair starts falling out like that, when you start having panic attacks, that's your body being like, I don't trust your mind anymore because it's clearly brainwashed. We're telling you, you need to go. And this pastor's wife, by the way, she married a sweet man in the beginning. Yeah, her first boyfriend was this sweet guy she met at church. Everything was great. And then she looked identical to the pastor's wife.

Yeah, except much younger, underage.

And they start hooking up and they get married, and he's insane.

No, he, he's one of the scariest people I've seen in a documentary in a while. And I think what makes it even scarier is that he's like living like around town. Like, he, like, he just lives his normal— like nothing. There's no charges, there's nothing.

He is one of the most dangerous men because not only is he like stereotypically good-looking, so people already are giving him the benefit of the doubt, but he also has charisma and power. And there's so many men you see like that in Hollywood in comedy, and everyone fucking loves them because of what they're showing to the world, when realistically they're, um, how do you say it in French, monsters. Monsters. So she— I don't know the ending.

It's really sad. The ending is very— it's one of those docu— documentaries where you get to the end and you're like, and then what? Like, and then what the fuck did everyone do about it? And it's like, we— they— we couldn't do anything.

Also, like, there's— sex addiction is like a real thing. And like, it's not like, oh, my boyfriend looks at porn. Like, this guy had a real sex addiction problem.

Yeah. Wait, what is up with like people being like— I feel like it's also even in like Gen Z. Did you see that there's— there was like a whole study about how Gen Z does not want to see sex scenes?

Wait, so when people kiss, they put their hands over their eyes? They're like, no.

I will watch a movie just because I know there is a sex scene and I want to see it.

Millennials had a website where it would tell you when the boobs would come in every single movie. It was like a website that said where to see tits.

I think it's really weird if you don't watch porn.

I personally would never get upset if my man was watching porn. If I was like, hey, can we have sex? And he said, no, I'd rather watch porn. That's a problem.

That's a problem.

But like, if he's away for the weekend and happened to watch porn and jerked off, jerking off is healthy.

He's going, call me in 30 seconds when you're done. Like, I don't mean they're not sick. You think they're sitting on there for 2 hours? No.

Also, I would argue you guys should too, listening at home. It's healthy.

It's healthy.

Understand your body. Also watch some porn to understand like what are some moves to pull out, you know, just like karate.

Or like have a— it's— I think it's really healthy to have a moment with yourself.

I don't understand people like, I would never let my boyfriend watch porn.

I'm like, I will say, I will say, there have been times—

I don't want him watching blonde porn. I don't want him watching blonde porn.

Okay, I draw the fucking line somewhere. Yeah, that's crazy. I have boundaries.

That's insane. That's divorce.

There have been times where like I've asked boyfriends like, when are you watching it though?

Yeah, because that's fascinating.

Where am I? Am I in the house?

I've never seen a man jerk off, but you guys claim you do it All day long.

Hannah, why have I never walked in on a man jerking off? That is my— I would love that.

I actually know—

Sorry.

How are they so good at hiding that?

You know what I think they're doing? I think they're doing it— and take a poll at home, ladies— because I think they're doing it in the shower.

Okay.

I think they're doing it when they shower because it's easy clean. They— there's no cleanup.

Oh, smart.

It's loud, like no one's coming in.

Yeah.

Okay.

And that's when I think they're doing it. Do I think they're laying in bed lighting a candle, like having a night? No.

Yeah, no. The way we're jerking off is different. Um, I think that this pastor who was like making her have sex 4 times a day, I'd be like, hey, hey, do it yourself.

He made her get on testosterone. I feel like that alone should be illegal.

No, that's fully illegal.

Do you feel like there's like a real divide on TikTok right now with like men and women? Like this documentary, the court case happening, the Good Good commercial. Like, I just feel like there's a lot of things recently where people are very split, and it's men and women.

There's a lot of tension, and I thought my hand-on-the-street videos was going to bring everyone together, but I guess it didn't work.

Why? What were your hand-on-the-street videos gonna be?

When I was asking men about like tampons and peeing.

Oh yeah.

I just thought we could like laugh and like understand each other and like call each other out, but in a In a silly way. Yeah, and that's what I try to do in my stand-up shows, like making fun of the men but being like, and it's okay, it's okay to be bad, to be stupid. Also recently, did you see Tom Brady like jumped off a yacht but he was like holding his nose? He like pinched his nose and everyone was like, ick, we lose respect.

When I do it, I'm protecting my nostrils.

When he does it, I'm like, take your Super Bowl rings and throw them in there too.

There's no male celebrities right now that are like impressive to me. I could name one male celebrity that like I genuinely love, Jonathan Bailey. Okay, he's gay.

Yeah, Jonathan Bailey, number one. Nicole Byer was like, all these leading men nowadays, she's like soft. Whatever happened to Russell Crowe? She's like, we had Russell fucking Crowe, now we have—

Wait, this This so bad. Me and Stephanie were texting about this because Stephanie and I, like, when we were in high school, would connect on like shows that we loved. And she was like a massive One Tree Hill fan.

Mm-hmm.

And I loved Gilmore Girls. And like, so we would like the guys in that show. And so we were texting recently about the new Amazon show and she was like, maybe it's just 'cause we're getting older, but like the guys are just like not that hot. And I was like, Stephanie, I felt the same way. Like, when we were in high school and middle school, our leading men in TV shows, I feel like, were— you were like, that guy's not in high school, he's so fucking hot.

Well, also back then, like, what did they just cast more like actual men? Like, not like 21-year-olds? Because like, you know, like Viggo Mortensen, he's always been like 42.

Who?

Viggo Mortensen. I don't know, he's hot. Okay, well, I'll send that to you. You can have a fun night. Um, Jason Statham.

I think they used to cast older.

Yeah, because I remember being like, that's a grown-ass man.

Yeah, because typically people that are playing high school kids are like 25.

But even like Joaquin Phoenix, like Daniel Craig, like these are like hot men. Sorry, I'm looking at lists right now.

Name a man.

All the James Browns. Name a man. Yeah, but like Johnny Depp.

He's back now.

Yeah, I mean, obviously, but like back then, that was like a— just like a beautiful hot man. You know what it is nowadays? They don't— they've never been looksmaxxing harder, but they've never been looksmaxxing weaker.

No, they've never been trying harder.

Javier Bardem.

Don't get me started.

Idris Elba.

Don't get me started.

Denzel. These are men.

These are men. Denzel is a— is a legitimate— he's God. Like, I feel like if something happened and Denzel was like, look guys, actually I am God, I'd be like, yeah. Could have called that.

Colin Farrell, um, Ewan McGregor.

Yeah, like there's no, um, there's no bad boys. Like Colin Farrell was like a bad— like I feel like he was like, like Mark Wahlberg. He was a real stud.

Yeah, Robert Downey Jr.

Yeah, like where are the drug problems?

The closest we have is Barry Keoghan, and he was like, the internet was mean to me, and he stopped posting.

They're soft these days, the men.

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I did watch, however, the Ray Gun documentary.

It's out?

Did that cross your desk?

No, what, what is it on? Amazon?

It's out.

On Amazon?

No, Netflix.

Oh, I'll watch that tonight.

It's fucking incredible. Now my 2 cents is, first of all, you love her. Look, she's quirky. She's quirky. Every time I watched, I was like, I thought it was myself dressed up in the outfit. I really look like weirdly close to her.

You love someone that beats to their own drum.

I do, but I do have to say, maybe similar to me, she has a confidence to her that I, I was like, okay, the best part—

pinpoint it.

I was like, is this what people think about me when I just—

Oh, isn't that the worst feeling when you see someone do something? You're like, I think people think I'm like that. Like, that is really the worst.

You go, wait a second. But the best part of the documentary that no one knew about her is she has the most adorable husband that I would argue is a bit of an enabler, where he's like— he's Australian, I can't do an Australian accent, but he's like, she's doing high art, like she's incredible. Like, I was like, would it be insane if she made this like Australian? He's like, it's like every second he's like, she's amazing. But he was the original b-boy, and then she's just like an academic who fell in love with it, and she did it for a long time but not full-time. And there was a legit qualification, and she did it, and she legitimately won it. But like, her style is like— it's weird. It's a weird kind of style. And then she started— she was like— they're like, you're going to the Olympics, and she's never been in a gym before. She, like, doesn't have a coach. She has, like, a year to prepare for it, and she just, like, doesn't know what to do. And she's at the Australian Olympic gym, just, like, standing there with all these other, like, full-time athletes.

And what's crazy about her story is that she started getting, like, panic attacks.

Mm.

'Cause she, like, knew something bad was gonna happen, 'cause she felt like something was off. And she started to do a couple tournaments, and she was, like, scoring really badly. So it's not like this wasn't a surprise. Like, she knew that she was not gonna do well.

Oh, okay.

And, but what happened is it was the 3rd round in the Olympics. So the 1st and 2nd round, I guess she did horribly, but like not, she didn't embarrass her whole country like with a viral meme. And she told her therapist, she was like, what's the worst that can happen? Like the whole country, the whole country, the whole world. And she's like, that's not gonna happen. So her husband was like, you gotta end on a bang, you gotta do something crazy, pull out those like random moves we practiced. And it was like to reflect upon like the culture of Australia, she did like a swimming motion. Like there were like— even the sprinkler is apparently invented in Australia. There was like nuance to it that is not important.

The sprinkler was invented in Australia?

So she said she gets off the last round, she lost all of them 9-0.

Oh.

The press, the press people were like, hey, do you wanna take a break or do you wanna like go to press? And she's like, I'm on, uh, like dopamine, let's go, let's just like do the press. And someone's like, by the way, there's like some videos going around. She's like, it's all good, whatever. And she kept thinking it was gonna die down and it just like got stronger. But it started very fun, like it started people being like, this is hilarious. This girl's hilarious. This is funny. But then it started to take a dark turn where people started researching into it being like that her husband was part of the, um, like qualifying committee, which apparently was actually false. But it went around and everyone talked about it. Joe Rogan talked about it and they were like, she's a scam artist. So she's like, then shit started to get scary 'cause I was getting accused of like fraud. Oh my God. the husband's like, I'm not a part of the committee, like, this is not a thing. But people just ran with it.

It's kind of like the, the Coldplay people. Like, that lady came out and was like, we're both single. Yeah, this is insane. Like, we— I, I'm separated. Like, we're all separated.

What I love about these documentaries is it reminds you that, like, people aren't just a hashtag. Like, she's a human and she had to, like, disappear and like hide for a long time. And look, I don't think she's a particularly gifted breakdancing artist. I'm just gonna be blunt.

Yeah, just be honest. But you love her passion.

Even her parents were laughing at like— they never thought she'd be an Olympian. They never even thought she'd be a dancer.

Well, she's not.

I, at the end, she's— oh, I got chills.

Mm-hmm.

She's like in Taipei and she's like, I'm gonna dance for the first time since the Olympics. And it shows her like get back with a community and like with these like artistic kind of dancers. And she's— and I was really just so impressed by her. I love seeing people who get like taken down and then are able to be like, in spite of all that, I'm gonna do what I wanna do. Do I think she probably has other things that she'd be really good at? Yes. And maybe she should explore them. However, like, she loves dancing, and I think she hopefully can be able to, like, turn this into a positive.

America loves a comeback story.

Because the truth is she didn't do anything wrong, right?

Like, I didn't realize that she— like, I didn't realize she went through the obstacles and won and then was sent to the Olympics. Like, okay, so where's the committee that was like, yeah, you're good enough to go?

I also think with these random sports, they haven't figured that out. So like, she was a, um, victim of the system that wasn't prepared for like stuff like this to happen, which is for the talent to have such a wide range.

I didn't realize that you can just like lobby to get new sports into the Olympics.

Yeah, who are you calling?

Yeah, like how do you even go about that? Like who, who rec— Who says, okay, pickleball— pickleball's now in the Olympics?

Yeah, like, what qualifies it?

And like, does every country have to agree? Like, is there a committee that they bring it to and you have to like plead your case on why you think this sport should be in the Olympics? And then does every country get to try out for it?

Honestly, breakdancing is cool. It is an art though, so it's like super subjective, but it's so cool.

I feel like any type of dancing is sport. Like, dancers are— oh my God, do you ever like come across the ballet dancers on TikTok?

I saw Black Swan.

Holy shit, those girls are working.

Well, then I argue, should competitive cheerleaders be in the Olympics? But then this is a bigger problem with the Olympics because we're a sports podcast, so I will talk about it. She's told she has to train for a year But she doesn't have money, so she has to like work during the day. Her husband had to work 2 jobs for her to be able to like be in the gym enough because like there's no money behind it, right? It's just for like endorsements, for pride, for country pride. But yeah, one of the, the B-girls—

For justice!

Justice and world peace! One of the B-girls was like, my— I got really mad when she did the sprinkler. I thought it was fucking disrespectful to what we do. and she like called her out. She was like, how the fuck could you do the sprinkler at the Olympics? And her— wait, and Raygun literally looks at her and was like, do you know that it was invented in Australia and I was doing it to like bring— talk—

what's the word?

Like bring love to Australia.

This sounds like an SNL skit that Kenan wrote.

Bring out the dancing lobsters.

No, truly, I've been on reality TV. I've heard some of the most ridiculous arguments in my time. This is by far the craziest thing I've ever heard. How dare you do the shopping cart at the Olympics? You're embarrassing us.

But then she told the B-girl, like, I wanted to do the move—

What is a B-girl?

It's a breakdancer girl. Sorry, you would know if you were in with the breakdancer community, which I am from watching the Netflix documentary.

Sorry, I—

But also then the B-Girl, you're like, say B-Girl one more time.

Beat or B?

B-Girl.

The letter B.

You're so jealous you're not a B-Girl. You're so— don't fucking—

I just feel like that is actually a very cool name.

It's very cool.

I'm not thinking breakdancing girl. B-Girl.

Also, they have B-Boys.

No, I don't like that.

And what I love about the B-Girls is it feels like stand-up where it's just like male-dominated thing and they'd be like, can girls even dance? Can girls even do power moves? And then obviously the girls could fucking dance.

Not us.

Not some girls. There are girls out there who can.

Not us.

But the B-girl at the end was like— I looked it up and she was right. The sprinkler was created in Australia, and I realized I didn't fully understand what she was trying to do. So they tried to make it at the end like that she actually was like kind of an artistic genius, but— and that didn't truly hit with me. But the truth is she's fucking human. And like Gloria Steinem said, women should be able to be human beings.

How old is Shay?

I think in her 30s.

Yeah, like, think about how many things men just do and we, like, do badly and we just accept.

Yeah.

I don't know, like, our whole— all the systems. Every system. Name a system, they tried it, they suck at it. All of them. They're so bad.

I also, I love someone who like gets passionate about something. Like imagine, like being like, wow, breakdancing is cool, I'm gonna like become it. Like that's so cool of her.

Hannah, you did that with stand-up comedy, and I did that with wearing dresses.

Outfits.

Wait, I met Kendall Jenner tonight.

How did we wait so long to bring this up?

Well, we had important topics.

Did she say anything about me and Hailey?

We didn't talk about you guys. We really— we had our own— we had like our own thing happening and she had—

Oh, so you bring me up in front of everyone except Kendall Jenner.

Cool.

It's looking strategic.

She had a side part. I had a side part. I said, Hailey, we're not sisters, we're twins. She was so— she was lovely. I mean, we were at an Armani Beauty event. for Venice Film Festival, and we did like a little video together, and she was just like a normal-ass girl.

She's tall though, right?

She's— I felt like a pipsqueak. She's so beautiful, she's so tall, she's just so nice. It's so funny because like, I just feel like society is so— her and Vittoria, you know, Leonardo DiCaprio's girlfriend, she's a famous model, she just like does all like the Dolce Gabbana Perfume ads.

Mm-hmm.

I feel like people are like— you would see these girls and like the majority of society would be like, I bet they're so mean. And then you meet them and you're like, you might be one of the nicest people I've met. Like, she truly was so nice and down to earth. Honestly, everyone I met this weekend was so lovely. Like Nina Dobrev, so nice.

It's funny, we've never crossed paths with her, and I feel like, well, now she's in her single era, so she's like socializing. Well, she said that to me.

She goes, we've met. And I was like, we actually haven't. And she was like, no, I feel like we've met. And then she looked at me and she goes, we look like sisters. And I was like, I didn't want to say anything, but I also think that we resemble each other a little bit. She was like, no, we really do. And so she was really lovely too. I mean, Vampire Diaries was a big part of my life.

Mm-hmm. And she's shooting stuff right now where she had to go blonde or something?

She just filmed a movie, um, and I think it's set in like the '70s. She was talking about like the wardrobe. I don't know, she didn't say she had to go blonde, but she just wrapped. She said like a week ago.

She socialized a lot.

No, honey, I socialized.

Honey, how many days do you need off now?

Labor Day weekend is Paige DeSorbo weekend, okay? Kitty has no idea what she's She's gonna be locked in the bedroom for 4 days.

She's gonna be so happy.

Okay.

Speaking of Kitty.

Yeah, I love to.

I was scrolling Instagram and I saw this guy who spray painted people's pets and I was like, well, this is exactly what I need right now.

Spray paints? Oh, on a piece of paper. I thought there was a man running about town finding your pets on the street, spray painting them. I go, that's gotta be illegal.

No, no, no, no.

It's gonna be some type of spray painting on like clothes.

So I was like, hey, I have 3 cats. Well, there's more, but let's start with 3. I said it's Butter, Daphne, and Boots, and I need you, um, to make these for us. Like, let me know how much and let's make it happen. His name is, um, Rex Rabbit, and he sent us the most amazing— did you see it or were you sleeping?

I think I saw it.

People—

do people know that Grace has an adorable kitty named Boots? Oh, you have it? I just saw it on Instagram. Oh, I didn't know you ha— you own it. Wait, I just thought he made— wait, Hannah, we're so connected because a girl on TikTok made like a ceramic bowl that said Daphne's name on it.

I saw that.

And I DM, I go, I need it. You guys, send it to me.

Anything you make, we will contact you and buy it. And upcharge us, okay?

Wait, what are the chances that me and you did that in the same week? We gotta stop, Hannah. We're doing weird stuff recently. Wait, we did something the other day and I was like, Hannah, I did that too. What was it?

We had the same dream one night, which is fucking crazy.

Wait, this is actually— I need a psychic to weigh in on this. Hannah texted me the other day and she goes, I had the craziest dream about your wedding. And I go, Hannah, I had a dream about my wedding last night. You weren't in my dream though. Like, I would— like, you weren't involved in my dream, but in my dream I was at my wedding.

Is it like— wait, is it like reality TV where like you had your own storyline at the wedding but I was viewing it from my storyline?

I think so.

Um, also, like, were we in like the same realm in our sleep? Like, we both were, or we're in like different timelines of the same— like, I— it's not like— it's one thing if I connected, always dream about your wedding, but I haven't dreamed about your wedding really.

And I just never dream— like, I never remember my dream.

You know when it's like, it's the, like, the movie of the night? Like, sometimes you have like a lot of little dreams. This was like the whole premiere was your wedding. So I woke up just like thinking about your wedding. That's crazy.

No, that was weird. Creepy and weird.

Creepy and weird. Someone let us know what that means.

Yeah, that's gotta be something. Like, like, we should call Mystic Michaela or— oh, Angel. Yeah, I really need to call her.

Someone literally told me they saw Angel and they were like, Angel said that I was depressed. And I was like, Welcome to a meeting with Angel.

Yeah, talk about someone who's not a yes person that we need to get on our team, like on our actual payroll.

Oh, you want someone to make it up to you? She's not telling— she's telling it like it is. You don't want yes men on your team? Call Angel.

Truly.

I've been feeling really good though, because I know I didn't clean my room, but I had like a little bit of an episode Where like, you know when your computer just like isn't working right?

Mm-hmm.

But like, you know it's your fault because like I have every single app.

Well, you also probably have 800 tabs open.

800 tabs on multiple— and I said, you know what, I'm killing the whole family and I'm not restoring the tabs.

Oh.

No, I just was like, whatever tabs these were, fuck 'em.

Not important.

I deleted all of them. I felt like I took the best poop of my life. I felt, I felt free. I felt light. I felt open. I now feel like I can like do things I couldn't do before. I went to the gym this morning.

Decluttering, decluttering anything truly is like a mental health thing. Like I never have tabs open. Like right now my email is at 97 and I could I could lose it. Like, I, I've never got— let it go. I've never let it go.

Your Gmail?

Yes.

Paige.

I've never— I've rarely let it get— the highest I let it get to, like, and this is once in a blue moon, is like 50.

Paige, do you know what my Gmail is at?

No, I can't. I can't know.

Do you want to guess?

Yeah.

She's like, send me it, then you send it to me.

Well, you know what, because you probably don't delete any of your promotional emails. Oh, you have thousands.

And also like I just move, like I just don't click on the ones I don't want to click on.

No.

I'm— I respond immediately when I need to.

You do. You respond faster than I do.

Okay, you're gonna die. Not to brag, 72,800 emails.

72,000? Let me get in there. Let me get in there and clean that thing off.

But like I've responded to everything I need to. Like I, I know I'm not behind on anything.

Okay, so say you're in your email inbox and you get an email Like from Zara and they're like, new in this week. You just keep it not opened. You never—

Yeah, I just don't open it. And if it's something that like I can't respond to right now, I'll put a star next to it.

Yeah, I think we'll put it immediately in my to-do list.

I love a star.

Stars in my email are really important to me.

Also, I have a trillion apps on my phone.

Yeah.

And that needs— that's the second thing we have to hit because One thing about me, if it's free, I love downloading an app.

Well, sometimes I'll get emails and it's like, your payment's processed. I'm like, for what though? Like, for what app is that?

And meditation apps and like learn a new word every day apps I've downloaded.

And you know what, I'm paying $11 a month to a lot of bullshit.

Well, I don't think they're even our sponsor, but Rocket Money helps with—

yeah, they— no. Seriously, they'll clean it up, right? They'll clean it right up for you.

Shout out Rocket Money, clean it out. And we need that for people in our lives sometimes. Um, when are you flying home? The Gigglers need to know.

Tomorrow. I, I can't wait.

Okay, we can't do this long-distance thing any longer. It's really stressing me out.

I'm so excited.

I'm—

I miss my kitty so much. The kitty's been hanging out with the dog while I'm gone.

Okay, and they're doing okay?

And I set up a Furbo in like one specific room because Kitty always goes in there. And I set up the Furbo, I get a little notification and it's Kitty walking into the room and I'm like, she's so cute.

And then—

I love how she gets an entrance. They're like, she's coming.

She's like, Kitty's walking in. And so I'm watching Kitty walk in and then all of a sudden there's a dog behind her. Kitty goes, finds her spot where she wants to lay, lays down. The dog watches where she's like going, sees her lay down, and then he lays in front of her like to guard her.

She is a security guard.

Then she rolled over on her stomach. I go, you little slut.

She loves—

she like loves him now. It's crazy to watch them like together. I'm like, how is this my life?

She's so your cat though, because she tested him for like 8 months. Like, she made his life a living hell for 8 months.

She warmed up to this dog last week. She's like, I still don't trust you. No, that is actually a part of my personality that is bad. I will test you at any moment. I love baiting. I'm like, let's just see what he says.

Like, sometimes you get bored, have a little fun.

No, sometimes you have to do— you have to run experiments in your own home.

Have a little whimsy.

Yeah, you have to see. You have to see like what could the possible outcome be.

Also, I hate, I hate teasing, but I think it's just fun. I just want to let you, the Gigglers, know we're always cooking up something. And my favorite thing to do with the Gigglers is to do something that they don't expect. Like remember when we wrote a book and everyone thought it was a bit? They were like, very funny, there's no possible way. So anyway, we have stuff we're doing that will be coming out shortly that I think I'm so excited for the Gigglers to be like, I never thought that they would do this.

Wait, what are we talking about? Oh, this is a you project, okay? Please do not lump me into this. I'm just going along with it contractually, okay? This has been a labor of love that you have been involved in.

Every now and then Paige just lets me go, and she lets me have my fun. And anyway, have an amazing weekend, you guys. We love you so much, and talk to you later.

Bye.

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