Transcript of Giggling about craigslist, con artists, and claw clips

Sup, gigglers?

Gary, fix your Wi-Fi. Manifest that shit.

We can't be managed.

I mean, the day just got away from me.

Okay, what's up, my garlic gigglers?

The energy is so different when we're in person. I love it. Oh no, I love it.

She's like, there's a darkness, a toxicity.

I feel a weird energy.

Yeah, no, it's It's magic. And I missed you, baby.

I missed you.

How was your weekend?

My weekend was really fun. My friend Remy, who's in West Hampton with me, texted me and she's like, come to a party. And you— I was like, you know I don't do parties.

Yeah.

And she was like, it's my mom's 70th birthday party. I said, I will be there. Yeah. Cuz one thing about me is I love—

you love a mom's birthday.

I love mom's birthday. I love a mother. I love a sama. I love old people getting drunk. She's not old. No, I love people who like don't have kids anymore getting drunk, like the kids are out of the house.

Have a story to tell.

The stories that— so I show up, there's a flame, a woman doing a flamethrower thing.

Okay.

I mean, Remy went all out.

You can hire anyone to do anything.

Well, apparently the lady was like, if you want me to eat the fire, it's more money.

And Remy was like, Yeah, how much more? How much more?

I'll give you everything I have.

Wait, did I tell you last summer I hired a mermaid to come swim in a pool?

Oh yeah, and you were like the coolest aunt ever.

I loved it.

Like for the rest of your life.

I think I have to think of something for Labor Day weekend like that I present.

How do you beat that?

I don't know. I've been trying to like think of different things. My new— I think I might rent an ice cream truck to come.

That's cute as fuck.

I think that's a cute one.

So yeah, I was— I partied. They actually— this is so cute, and I don't mean to blow up their spot, but they recreated her wedding because it's a 35-year wedding anniversary. It was luau-themed. What? What? In Hawaii they have luaus?

No, lays.

Lays.

But like luau-themed. Yeah, I thought you just said wow-themed. I was like, what is— I was like, I don't know what that is, but I love it.

But everyone was wearing like the same outfits they wore for the wedding in the same spot. They had the same wedding It was just so beautiful to see a couple that enjoy each other. Enjoy each other. 35 years.

If they're on Housewives and they renewed their vows though, bad omen.

Bad, bad, bad, bad. This was less renewing and more celebrating. And Adina, her mom, do you know when moms are just stars? Like, she's star quality. Like, she could carry a room. She could carry a show if she had to. She was at one point just wearing white, like, in the middle of the dance floor, like a cult leader. And I was like, whatever this bitch wants, I'm gonna do. Like, tell me.

I was dancing.

I had so much fun.

So you went to a nice summer party, summer gathering.

That's what summer's for.

It really is.

How was your weekend?

Um, okay, you know how like sometimes you'll say something on the pod and then like after you're like, no one's going to get it. Like, should I take it out? Like, that's not relatable. Yeah, that's really niche. And people will be like, oh my God, I feel the same way. Or like, that's exactly what I've— I've done that, whatever. And then there are times where you say something and you're like, everyone gets this. You don't even like give it a second thought. Yeah. And then like my DMs will be, nope, we've never felt that.

Don't you say so? And you're like, I'm a relatable queen, and then it's just crickets.

So last week when I was like, anytime I do a butt exercise, my vagina hurts, like thinking just like everyone in Pilates class was feeling the same thing. Like, wow, it's really hurting. My entire DMs were doctors and physical therapists being like, you have a pelvic— you have pelvic dysfunction. Like, everyone had the same—

I was gonna say to you privately later, but yeah, I was getting doctors as well being like, hey, she was—

everyone was like, you have to go to an ortho, like, pelvis.

But this is one thing about whatever. First of all, is it pelvis or pelvic?

I think Both.

It's the— one is the plural. My pelvi, bro. I have no— I've been doing Pilates for years now, no fucking clue what a pelvis is.

I think I have a tilted one. And okay, then I'm like—

everyone's tilted.

Then I'm like looking up stuff about like pelvic dysfunction.

Is it scoliosis again?

Well, there's like different exercises, but like the overall theme is like your whole body's tense. Like it was basically like, you're locked. Maybe take a breath once in a while, you uptight bitch. It's like really the overall like how to get rid of it. It's like take a deep breath from your stomach. Like, we don't know.

95% of our problems on this pod is because we have high functioning anxiety disorder. Yeah, my jaw, your pelvic chi. Also, I see like these weird men doing exercises that like look like, like doing like circular exercises, release sciatica stuff.

Yeah, all men have sciatica.

And so do I, I think.

Yeah, do you?

I don't know, but I I don't not have sciatica.

Yeah, that's true.

I mean, the lower left side of my back always has like a tinge.

Yeah, like someone DM'd me and she was like, no one should feel like you have— they have to get a massage every week.

Oh, you're sorry? What happened to self-care?

Sorry for self-living lavish. Sorry for treating myself once in a while.

You know what it is also? Like, I feel like it's your time to have intimacy without having to talk to anyone.

Like intimacy with myself? Well, half the time I fall asleep. Okay, that's interesting.

Like when you go to the nail salon and she holds you for like 3 seconds and you're like, I needed that, I needed that.

That's so true. I don't even give it a second thought when I know someone's gonna touch me intimately for a beauty treatment.

You love it.

Except I haven't gotten my vagina lasered, so that's the only thing that I'm like, that's too intimate.

It's scary.

It's scary. And I don't—

it's like laser gun.

Summer, I don't have the time. Um, okay, I have a couple things I'd like to go over. One, something that like caught me off— like something that just made me wonder, you know, like, you know, like you're on your computer at like midnight, you're like, you can't sleep and you're just like doing things. So every night you're on your phone?

Yeah, how I go to bed at night.

Yes, you're just doing stuff and you get like a random thought like about like AI or just like You know what no one talks about is how now that our laptops, like, when we want to log into them, like, we just do like a fingerprint. Like, if I want to log into my Amazon account, I just like do my fingerprint.

Mhm.

I don't like it. Mhm. And like, they took it off on the phone cuz now it's like your eyes, like it's facial recognition. Mhm.

Why do you think they took it off the phone?

I don't know. I liked it on the phone.

Yeah, cuz I felt like I was a spy.

It was also way easier to go through someone else's phone. If it was just a finger, now they could just put their thumb while they were sleeping.

Yeah, you are a spy.

Yeah, I'm a spy. But now you have— they have to be awake. I can't go over. I've tried to do it with a picture, like hold my phone to a phone.

I thought you were— it's because you said I'm mad at AI. No, you're mad because it's harder for you to check people's phones.

I'm just not loving the extra steps they're giving me.

Is this good for the environment? You're like, I'm worried about the trees.

Okay, my next weird thing that I thought in the middle of the night— I have these really weird thoughts in the middle of the night, and then the next day I have to execute them, or like, I'm like, what was the point of having that thought? Yeah. So one night I was like, what if I like am in a rush and I have to grab Kitty and like I don't have all of her stuff? I need another stuff.

You mean like her Louis Vuitton bag?

I need an emergency Kitty bag. Like, how do I not I have—

Your anxiety is like, should be studied because it's so cute. You're like, I can't go to sleep without having a carryaway bag for my beautiful cat.

I have a navy blue canvas bag that says Daphne on it from Alex Mill. It has inside portable like rubber things that I keep her food in. Then I have a second one for her water.

And canned foods in case there's an apocalypse.

Then I have a travel— Yep, two canned foods. Then I have a travel litter box already filled with litter, never been touched.

You're more prepared for your cat's made-up emergency than I am to just like start my day.

What if someone invites her away for the weekend and she's like, we have to go?

True.

What if I'm like, oh my God, I have to get on a flight in an hour. I have to bring Daphne, but I don't have any of her stuff ready.

Yeah.

So anyway, that's something else I worked on over the weekend. Another thing I worked on over the weekend was I watched the Michael Jackson movie.

Oh, I haven't watched it. I just watched the Michael Jackson documentary on Netflix.

I feel like every time they do a biopic, I get so excited, and then I watch it and I'm like, why did you pick that time in their life? Like, I feel like that's the most boring time. Like, way crazier shit happened in their lifetime, and we're not—

was it his come up?

It was from like when he was a little kid to when he like put out Thriller.

Okay, so then when everything got like fucking crazy, they were like, we forgot, let's not touch it, let's not touch it.

My biggest takeaway from it is child labor. Yeah, the trauma that happened in that home, and they don't really— they give it to you in like media literacy. Like, you can tell that the trauma happened in their— this home. We're not going through with— we're not going into it, but like, read between the lines, read between the lines. This is the vibe. And they also make the dad like really scary looking because his eyes are like so piercing blue that it's like just like gives devil evil. So like he played an amazing character. But it's, yeah, it's very like, there's a lot of trauma here and I would assume it explains a lot.

If I was from a family that like the dad was like, you all are gonna be amazing at something.

Yeah.

And like really was traumatized by like the intensity of it. And I didn't even become the star of the family.

Oh, you're like the other brothers in the Jackson 5.

I'd be pissed. I mean, I think he takes care of them, but I'd be like, wait, so why did I go through all that torture if Michael was just gonna be like—

well, the dad like tries to keep them as a group, but Michael is freakishly more talented. Freakishly more talented and like genius level. Like they do show him like writing all of his own songs like in the middle of the night, and he would just like come up with these dance ideas and like He was like, I need to try this. He definitely was a genius. My dad's calling me of some sort. Okay, a good comparison is they, the movie a couple years ago about Serena and Venus Williams. That had intense, but you didn't get the vibe that he like physically was abusive to the girls.

Yeah, yeah. He also like, the girls wanted it. Like the girls were in on it with him. But Michael, I feel like he wanted it then.

Well, yes, but he was so young, like it's all he knew.

Yeah, it's like, do you want to be a star or—

but then you're— but then you do feel like, yeah, he loves it because it is all he knows. But did you know that his head caught on fire? Like, that's how the movie ends.

When?

Oh, when he's like doing a Pepsi commercial.

Okay, was that—

it's very— you got to watch it.

What was in his water?

I don't care about spoiling the endings of like real— yeah, movies.

You don't?

No, it was like some like pyro something. Yeah, I can't believe I just said pyro. Is that right?

That is 100% right.

Pyrotechnic.

That was so— look at you getting into different fields. Okay, gigglers, before we get back to the chaos, we need to get something off our chest. As you know, Paige is an avid reader.

No, I'm president of our book club.

And by book club, we mean audio club. Yes, we're diving into audiobooks this summer thanks to this segment brought to you in partnership with JBL Live Headphones, which we're wearing right now. How iconic are we?

No, I'm obsessed with JBL Live Headphones because truly, if you are reading an audiobook, it's so easy to immerse yourself in the story.

JBL's Live Headphones is what you need to have to do it correctly.

They're so high quality, they're so comfortable. And as women in STEM, I just feel like we need the best technology to enjoy our audiobooks. I mean, I didn't even have these for Strangers, and now I want to like relisten with JBL Live headphones.

I feel like last season blue light glasses were all the rage and the trend, and this year the aesthetic is the rise of audiobook main character energy, and you need your JBL Live headphones to get the trend.

Also, sometimes when I'm tanning by a pool, it's too bright for me to read. Yes, I have to listen to the audiobook on my JBL Live headphones. I don't want to burn out my retina.

You can't see.

They're also noise canceling, so when you're in a chaotic area, you put them on and you can feel at peace with your audiobook. You can hear every detail and you're fully immersed in the story.

One of my favorite ways to immerse myself in an audiobook—

actually, I just started Yesteryear—

is being at the grocery store and immersing yourself, because it feels like you're in a mystical wonderland. Like, people are around and they don't even realize they're part of your story.

When I've been running on the treadmill—

you think you're better than us—

I love to forget that I'm working out and just listen to my audiobook and be fully immersed. I highly recommend Lena Dunham's recent book because she's so good at narrating.

So whether you're in transit or romanticizing errands, do it with a narrator that makes you feel like a dang 10. Thank you for listening to our segment today, brought to you in partnership with JBL.

Truly, JBL's Live headphones are the only way to hear every vivid detail of your audiobook in full color this summer.

Gigglers, let us know what you've been listening to on your hawkrow walks this summer, or tanning, or the subway, wherever you listen. And most importantly, which color matches your vibe? DM us and find your pair at jbl.com.

And the last thing on my docket today—

wait, you, you can't— you've never come more prepared with your—

I'm wearing a cardigan. Yeah, look alive! I'm wearing a matching cardigan set.

Look alive!

Last thing I want to talk about is, have you seen the YSL makeup debate?

That hasn't come across my algorithm. I love when we're— our algorithms are different.

Buckle up for this.

Yeah, there's a man, he works at a job, allegedly.

Doubt it.

He works at a job, he's at his job, they do some type of like raffle giveaway, something. He wins an entire basket of YSL makeup. His wife is at home, I think postpartum or even pregnant. Grace, will you do me a favor and look up the YSL wife? He gives the basket of YSL makeup to his female coworker. The wife, I'm pretty sure, like, makes a video about it. That's how, like, we know about it. And the internet is kind of like, mm-mm, mm-mm.

What was the wife's take in her video?

I'm pretty sure the wife was like, hello, like, what about me at home vibe?

So she's complaining. Yeah, she's basically like, girls, am I being crazy or is this weird? Yes.

'Which is one of my favorite phrases to hear from anyone on the planet.

It could be anyone.' If a girl says, 'Am I being crazy?' Hey, I already know she's not crazy because she's even aware that she might be being crazy, which makes you not crazy.

Yeah, and then give me everything.

That's being a girls girl. Yeah, wait, I can't say my lips.

Girls girl. The claw. My take is men are stupid, but if my boyfriend, husband, partner is in a situation and something that I would like comes up in conversation or whatever, and I'm not the first thing that pops into his mind— weird, who else are you thinking of?

Yep.

So like, there is a situation where he gets presented this like basket of YSL makeup and he's like, I don't know what the fuck to do with it, and their girl is sitting right next to him and he's like, here.

Yeah, they could be small-minded like that.

Like, like Yeah, like I got nervous, whatever. But you would want your husband to win this basket and think, oh, my wife at home is gonna love it.

For sure.

Yeah.

Also, it brings me to my next topic, which is like the essence of like a work wife. I'll slit your throat with a knife. Don't ever.

I'm not trying to start drama, but there's TikTok videos of like The guy with the like happiest family coming up to you in the morning and being like, I like your shirt. What, I can't tell you I like your shirt? Like just being so flirty at the office.

I would kill everyone. But also, if someone's husband came up to me in the office and said that, I'm DMing you.

You're DMing me?

I'm DMing you immediately.

I'm calling 911. Yeah, the problem is the office is like this microcosm of its own.

Now, single people, work wife all you want. Work husband it.

Uh, I thought work wife was like when you have a gay— when he's gay, like I'm his work wife.

It's because of the places we've worked.

Or he's my work wife. Yeah, true. We've only worked in like marketing.

Yeah, we've only worked in happy gay places.

Yeah, I worked in sales, but I would hang out with the marketing team because the sales guys were Crazy scary. I'm really scared. I'm so scared. I just hung out with the social media team.

I've never bought a single thing from a man ever.

Also, I was so good at sales and they literally— this is such a good callback— they said to me, all that girl does is giggle. Because I'd be on the phone giggling. Manifested it for us. Clearly at some point I'm asking for the sale because the money's coming in, baby. Yeah, but I was being pleasant.

Break them down easy with the joke.

Yes, I was buttering them up.

Yeah.

With a little—

would you sell again?

I didn't know. No, I was selling, um, SEO for small businesses.

What?

It was very common.

I thought you were selling shirts and hats.

Oh, that was another time.

Oh, oh, okay.

That was another time. But I was like cold calling, but I didn't like cold calling because I'm an empath, so I didn't want to like ruin someone's day. So if they did answer, I'd be like, how you all doing?

I couldn't— I could never take a job where I have to be on the phone, like any type of customer service. I would—

I did a lot of emailing though, which the boys didn't see. So I'd be just like emailing, emailing. Um, I was, I was good at it, except I just hated asking people for stuff. Like, it's a lot to constantly be like, gimme, gimme, gimme. Like, I'm a creator. Yeah, I want to create. Yeah, so that's why I'd hang out with the social media.

You don't know, you know, like even when, like, remember in middle school you'd have to do like What were— remember you'd have to like sell wrapping paper randomly? The school would be like, go home and sell. What was that? Go home and sell this to your friends and family, and people would like compete. I think it was like ultimately for the school.

Yeah, who knows where the money actually goes. Did you sell—

I forget what I was gonna say about that.

Did you sell cookies for the—

for the Girl Scouts? Yeah, but like I wasn't like getting into it. Like, like if my family was around, like, and if they wanted Thin Mints Yeah, write your name on the goddamn sheet, but I'm not going door to door.

People are going out of house and home to get samosas.

Samoas. Samoas. But no, I'm not like actively—

Yeah.

I never participated.

Yeah.

That was one thing that I was like not competitive about. I was like uncouth, I feel like.

Yeah, no, I know.

I was like, I'm not knocking on my neighbor's door and bothering them.

No, it's intense.

To sell them shiny wrapping paper.

Yeah. I think that I did it because my dad was like, if you could do cold calling sales, you could do anything in life. So I was— I had that like mentality, like in the '90s, like early '90s. He was like, coffee's for closers. Like, and I still was like very entrenched.

You were like 7 and he was like, always be closing.

That's literally my dad. That was me and my dad. And I was doing it and immediately, you know, after college when you have your first job and you're like, this can't be what I do forever. This is crazy.

Yeah.

But then I used all that stuff to help like sell my ideas. So yeah, so myself, like we have to sell ourselves every day.

We sell our bodies, bodies. I sell my IP, like I sell all my thoughts, all my—

selling yourself is so valuable. Like I love an interview, I love a first date, I love the idea of me. Small doses of me is fucking perfect.

Perfect. Wait, that's small doses of anyone.

When you first get my energy, yeah, and you get it for like 20 minutes and I leave, people are like, what a pleasant, joyful experience.

Do you know that that's just my goal in all of life, to just have 20 minutes with each person that they can walk away and be like, fun, and we don't have to get any deeper than that?

Obviously we're doing long-form content here, but it's cuz me and you bring out the the best new job.

Yeah, well, we're—

that's chemistry. It's chemistry.

Actually, speaking of promoting yourself, I went— one of my favorite topics, one of my favorite hobbies, um, I went to the Teen Vogue Summer School thing.

I went to the Teen Vogue— oh, not Teen Vogue, the Teen Vogue party. That's what it was, the Teen Vogue after party. My hair's blue.

I went to the Vogue Summer School, one of their sessions. We're like in an auditorium, and I like— they sent me some questions before, and I didn't like prepare where I had like written answers in my phone because I was talking to like a bunch of high school kids. Like, it wasn't like they were getting into like nitty-gritty of like Daphne Excel sheet. I don't know. I hope—

I didn't know what they could ask.

If a smart person was in front of me, couldn't even fathom what they would ask me about the business. So I like looked, glanced at the questions, whatever. I got out there looking at like the sea of like majority girls, some guys, and like young, like they were like 15, 16 years old. I couldn't stop being like, I'm so proud of you guys. Like, I'm so proud that you're like even thinking about your career because it was it— I got a little emotional in my own body, in like my head, not like physically, because I was like, we really don't realize that we talk to girls every single week and they really take what we say sometimes to heart. And they should take it with a grain of salt, but that's— that's neither here nor there. So then to see that age— because when do we ever really see a group of 16-year-old girls? One, I'd be terrified, but like We're never really presenting like that.

I was at an ice cream the other day and there was a group of them that came and I was like, punch me in the face.

I will say I was like a little nervous when I first walked in there and then I was like, Paige, you're 33. They think you're old as fuck. They probably want to know how many kids you have.

I'm so annoying. Like, I need them to like think I'm funny and cool. Like, I'm so embarrassing around 16-year-olds.

No, and I just thought of like myself at that age and I said, I was like, the scariest part I think of of starting your career is like right when you get out of college and you're— you have that first job and you're like, this isn't— this is gonna be my job forever. And I was like, and the fact that you're doing this and already thinking about what you want to do career-wise and what you want to do for internships, like, it's just so important. And I just couldn't—

I love talking to schools.

Yeah, I was like, I can't express enough how important it is to be independent and like not be thinking—

you're like, when a guy wants to fly you to Monaco and like, you get on the goddamn plane. But I also think in your 20s you feel old, which is so crazy. But if you think about it, teenagers literally were infants like a second ago. Like, your brain is not fully formed and people are telling you you have to know what you do for a living.

In my head I was like, half these girls are here because they have anxiety of like, what am I doing? Like, what am I doing for college? And like, what is my major and stuff? And I, and I tried to emphasize like, it's gonna work out, you just have to keep working toward your goal.

But also, not to completely change my mind on what I just said of like, there's no idea, no way you're gonna know what you're gonna do. When you're little, you know what you're gonna do.

Like, you know it in your gut.

You know it.

And it's almost like as society like beats it out of you and you forget.

You know what's so embarrassing? In 7th grade, I was in drama class.

Of course.

And drama class Okay, I saw a TikTok about this, how it's like you have a normal school and then you walk by drama class and the kids are like chucking themselves around and screaming and crying and laughing. Like, our drama class was crazy, like, and it was considered like really serious.

I like only did it like one year.

No, no, no, this was a specialized performing school in Brooklyn, New York, and Mr. McEnany was a teacher.

He—

Jeremy Allen White was in my class, right? Stars were being born in that class, and like it was competitive, and he would we weren't just doing like a play. He would write his own play each year. And that's when I put—

it's giving Summer Heights high.

That's when I played it. 100%. I played an Irish pregnant prostitute in middle school. Yeah, because it's about the potato famine and I was pregnant because I was a prostitute. Yeah, and you can't get an abortion in Ireland. It's called history.

How old were you really? High school or middle school?

I was 11. And this is going on in Brooklyn, New York. This is really— so anyway, there was a comedy like section of this class and they did like a screenwriting competition. And if like you won, then they like put you to like whatever, I don't know. But I wrote a comedy and my comedy won.

Stop.

Wait, we need your mom to find it.

We have to. But like back then, like computers didn't save anything. I think she tried because— but anyway, long story short. Then like I got really into tennis, da da da, but like in my heart of hearts I wanted to just like write funny stuff. Isn't that beautiful? That's beautiful. And like from a young age you knew you wanted to put together outfits.

Yeah, I knew I wanted to just like be vain, you know? It's like I love pretty things, I like looking at them.

Every now and then I see a comment and someone was like, I love how Paige makes me proud of my femininity, because it's inherently misogynistic to be like, I'm not like other girls.

Yeah. That's my pink aura. Yes.

Yeah. Also, because of random reasons— maybe it's my mouth, TikTok, who knows what's going on—

things.

Yeah, people become gigglers every day.

Yeah.

And someone was like, I feel like bad that I'm like a new giggler and I'm like behind. And I just want to say, we're behind.

We are— haven't even been brought up to speed.

But it's so cute because the gigglers are so supportive of each other because they'll be like, welcome, you should probably start with this episode. And like we love you here, but like, we just want to say everyone's—

it's kind of the equivalent of like, what picture does like my ex show people of me? Where it's like, what episodes are the girls—

wait, I've never thought of that—

suggesting that like is the essence of us?

Yeah, you know, and I guess it's kind of like starting becoming friends with a friend group who's been friends for a while.

Yeah, they're like doing all their little stuff, but we're on a bachelorette party and it's like This is my new friend from adulthood, meaning my high school friend.

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I'm about to turn 35 next month.

I know, I was thinking about it the other day because I saw—

you're still gonna be friends with me?

Yeah, I am. I just don't know what to get you.

You know what I want? I want something vintage.

I know.

And cute that I could like tell a story and be like, Paige got this for me.

Maybe I can find something that's 35 years old.

I don't like that.

You know, it's funny because when I turned 30, I was like, I'm not gonna care about turning 40, but I'm already thinking about it and I do care.

Well, that's 'cause one thing about your anxiety is it's ahead of its time. No, it's quick.

Mine is, she's quick. And like, I'll forget about things quickly, which is nice, but it just means there's something new on the horizon. Like this morning, Perfect example. This morning I'm getting dressed and I put this cardigan on and I go, I have a yellow mini skirt that's this color.

Where is it?

So I have a list in my phone of things that I can't find.

I can't find. And they're lonely and you're worried that they're lonely somewhere, scared without you.

Well, I'm just like, I lost them. They think I threw it out. I didn't throw it out. It was by accident.

Mental health moment.

Mhm.

All those thoughts that you have in the middle of the night that you're like you think of and you're like, how have I not been dealing with this all day? Why is this coming to me in the middle of the night? Like, this is the biggest thing in my life right now. Those thoughts aren't real.

Okay, Katie's emergency bag is very real.

Try to just be like, I'll deal with this in the morning, and then don't.

But do you write it down to remember it at a later date? No, because I don't trust the dark voices, okay, that come through my psyche. The next time you text me and say, hey, do you and Katie want to go to the Hamptons? I'll say, getting in the car, because I'm Packed and ready.

Wait, I got into mahjong, K-hole. I play mahjong on my phone, not real mahjong, but just the like— I got really worked up because I couldn't get past the level. Next thing I knew, it was 3 AM.

Oh, but I can't shop on Amazon at 3 AM, but you can learn a whole new sport?

I never said you can't shop on Amazon. I said stop making up lies and then causing yourself heart palpitations. No, sometimes maybe your pelvis would be better.

I will think of something and I'll be like, if I don't go to my phone right now and order it on Amazon, like I'll freak out. Yeah, that's not good.

I have a question. Yeah, and everyone's been wondering it. Continue.

I want to show you these shoes because I feel like they're very you-coded.

How did you pull that out so swiftly? Because my foot's not in your pocket. My foot's right here. She pulled it out of your ear. Presented like a magician, like I had it floating. No, it's like when you take out a panini, you always do that. You always do it like with your— oops, lost, lost my top.

I love presenting things to you in like a really cohesive manner.

Well, those are cute.

I feel like these are such a you shoe.

Are they for wide feet?

It's a ballet flat, but it has like a little bit of a heel, so like changes your whole vibe in like jeans. Without being like flat to the ground.

It's Aldo, right? Or what is it? I thought it said Aldo.

It didn't.

It didn't.

It didn't.

Oh, everyone wants to know, is your hair in a side part or a middle part right now?

It's Sunday afternoon, so I'm actually not in charge, and it's illegal that I'm even here.

It's none of your business, actually.

Yeah, it's actually none of your business.

Cuz I'm being thrown, it kind of starts—

Jesse wants me to be a certain way, and, and millennials want me to be a certain way, and I do like to do both at— on the same day. She's fluid. I—

she's versed.

I like to do a middle part for like starting out, and then you have a sunglass on your head, or you're in a conversation, and you just, you side it up.

You know why I'm stressed when like you're hanging out with me at home and I have my, um hair tie on my wrist and my hair keeps going up and then going down and then going up and then going down. What is that called?

You know, I've replaced that with big claw clips because I find the reason I'm taking it out of the hair tie is because it's falling and I don't like the sensation of that, or like feeling like it was on top of my head, or it's like too tight. Do big— do you have a big claw clip?

So claw clips I do like.

This is the nitty-gritty that we need to do.

No, wait, I'm actually about to get into real nitty-gritty.

Yeah, because they're not all created equal.

And the problem with with claw clips is that you can't sit back. Like, you're in the car, you can't sit back your head. You're, you're watching TV, you can't sit back. So then the girlies—

but sometimes I find it comfortable because if you're under something and it perches you up almost.

Oh, like it hits a certain like acupuncture point and you're like, oh, that's kind of nice.

Yeah, like sometimes it helps.

The only thing that helps my scoliosis is a claw clip in the back of my cranium.

I keep getting clips of like people with real scoliosis.

Do you want to apologize to the community?

Yeah, I do, because I, I'm not making light because mine is like non-existent. Some people like are really in pain.

I just thought scoliosis was going to be more rampant, or people just don't talk about it.

I feel like people aren't talking about it.

But you know what people are talking about? Girls are inventing claw clips that are soft so that when you push your head back, it like closes. So this is where um, the scientific research is going into.

Is it like made of rubber?

I think so. So they're, they're working on that, changing the game with that.

Oh, did you watch that documentary?

Did you watch that documentary?

I started it, I haven't finished.

So because I'm like learning from my past mistakes, I'm not going to tell you guys what happens, even though, you know, I want to so bad.

But I watched half of it and I actually convinced myself that I could move on from it. No, no, because you would tell me the ending.

But the thing is, the thrill of this is you think it's done halfway and then it throws you. Do you want to be surprised by me or by the screen while you're watching your phone?

Well, how long has it been out for?

A week.

Yeah, you—

okay, get mad at her, get mad at her. So what's it about?

I stopped—

yeah, you start, you start.

I stopped at the girlfriend is pregnant, she's calling the cops because the ex-girlfriend is stalking her, sending her like crazy emails. She tried to send a guy to come to her house and sexually assault her. And they— the police just went to the ex-girlfriend's house and the ex-girlfriend's like, what are you talking about?

Incredible setup. And also, I just want to— this is so fucked up. They're saying that the ex-girlfriend is putting Craigslist ads saying, I want to be SA'd. Yes, pretending to be the current girlfriend and giving the current girlfriend's house and address basically being like, I'm going to fight, I'm going to say no, let's— this is roleplay, keep going. So that's the most sinister thing I've ever heard in my life, and they were just like, we're warming up.

Also, Craigslist isn't regulated. Like, you can just go on the internet.

The fun thing about Craigslist is like, I fully can find a great apartment there. Like, I found so many apartments on Craigslist.

You can also find a man in a bunny costume willing to do anything.

No one has the Oscar range of Craigslist and no one talks about it. Also, Craigslist is like, we're never updating our website. And there's something beautiful about that.

And I feel like OnlyFans had this like insane glow up of like they had articles after articles, they had spokespersons, they have faces of OnlyFans. And it's like Craigslist has been around.

Zero PR.

Zero PR. And you could essentially do the exact same thing. It's just a written forum.

What's great about this documentary is I love how it can control your biases. Pelvis. Pelvis. Because you can—

I hate the word biopic.

It sounds like a biopsy.

Yeah, like, then that just reminded me of it. I hate when people say biopic.

Makes it scientific. I'm like, it's not.

It's like, shut up, it's a movie.

No, it's like a film. It's a film. Yeah, it's a movie.

Okay, keep going.

So she also— wait, I hate to say it, I thought the guys were gay.

You know me, I think so. Like, I don't even question it at this point. I'm like, whatever you're saying Sure, we'll go with that. Like, who am I?

The whole time you're like, this fucking crazy ex-girlfriend is trying to ruin the new girlfriend's life, and you're like, these crazy ex-girlfriends.

Yes.

But one thing we know is when someone calls an ex-girlfriend crazy, there's a lot of the time more to the story.

Yes, there's more to the story.

There's more to the story. So the cop goes up, finally goes up to, um, the ex-girlfriend's house, and it's like, you're being arrested for, for the emails.

Yeah.

And the girl goes, uh, I know it was like a bad email. I was going through a time. And immediately in my head I was like, she wouldn't admit to it if she did it. Yeah, yeah, she was admitting to probably sending a post-breakup email where you're like, go fuck yourself, kind of thing.

Very therapeutic.

Therapeutic, recommended.

I wish I could find some old ones that I've gotten before. One night in One night in my middle of the night, like, computer siege, I tried to find like old ones from like college in my email, but I couldn't.

I feel like I have like crazy Facebook messages, paragraphs. So immediately I'm like, something's wrong. But the girl is just like, yeah, I was going through a really difficult time, it was crazy. So she sounds like she's admitting to it. She's like, I had a psychosis. And I was like, okay, like, yeah, okay, happens to the best of us. We're taking accountability and we're moving on.

Stop. We found the problem, we fix Great.

So the second half goes into who is this new pregnant girlfriend. In her past, she's faked cancer, which is a thing. This is a certain mental illness that I'm seeing in a lot of documentaries right now.

I wonder what that is, the faking pregnancy, the faking cancer.

The Clayton, um, Bachelor podcast, um, is about the same thing.

There's a certain mental illness where you love lying about, like, sympathy you love like sympathy.

Yeah, and pregnancy is like under— because when you're pregnant everyone has to treat you differently. Same with cancer, um, same with like injury faking. Yeah, that kind of stuff. So I'm like, okay, she's one of these. So she— they literally filmed the boyfriend realizing that she doesn't have cancer and that she's— and that she's not pregnant. Okay, because she was saying she was, uh, who, whatever. She has an intervention. She's like, I'm leaving.

Can we just say one thing? How dumb are these men? Like, I feel like it's really hard to fake pregnancy.

Well, maternal instinct, literally. Like, she faked a pregnancy. She was 50 weeks pregnant at one point. That—

there's a physical evidence. Like, if you say cancer, okay, no one can see it inside.

But again, there's a— something you said about the YSL man. They don't think big picture. They're like, she said she's pregnant, I gotta— I gotta go.

You guys don't brush past each other in the bathroom? Like, what are you talking about? Like, this would—

like, here's how you know he just turned into Gary.

No, I'm just gonna say none of these people are Italian, because what do you mean someone in the family is pregnant, you haven't hugged, and you couldn't feel that was a pillow?

They're not Italian. Anyway, but I do think with technology they probably have some good fake pregnancy bellies on Amazon.

You know, I actually wore one on like an episode of Winter House.

It was—

don't— we really— we had run out of themes. We legit say we had run out of themes.

Did you say I wasn't there to speak up?

I had disassociated so hard I actually wasn't there. I said, sure, this is what we're doing now.

This is— she leaves that relationship, and what's great about the con artists is they love to reappear like in a slightly different neighborhood.

Yeah, with a different hair color.

She went from blonde to brunette, and I was like, I've never seen this person before.

And at the end of the day, we're all just girls.

We're all just girls.

And it's like when you know your mom's getting older, we're all just girls at the end of the day. Con artists want to feel pretty, but then you start smile.

You start like envisioning her, like, okay, so is she behind it all? Is she— one, is she pregnant? Two, did she just want— did she hate the ex-girlfriend and she, she felt like the ex-girlfriend was always going to be in her life?

But the guy was like, I haven't talked to my ex-girlfriend.

Like, but the thing is, the ex-girlfriend owns his condo.

Oh, right.

Okay, the ex-girlfriend owns the condo that they're living in. So long story short, something weird, but also Also, every time the cops come, this is— I do have to say, someone needs to give an award to, um, what are the cameras they have outside of your house?

Ring cameras.

Ring cameras.

Yeah.

And cop cameras. Remember when we were doing the grunt work?

Wait, remember during the Super Bowl, Ring camera made that crazy commercial and they were like, hey, we're gonna track everything. And everyone was like, I don't think so. Do you remember that? They were like, you're gonna be able to connect to your neighbors' like Ring cameras to see if you had a— like, we're gonna be able to see, take pictures or whatever, and like find your missing dog. And everyone was like, no, don't love that.

But incredible for a Netflix documentary. Yeah, because you're just seeing the footage. So, but every time they come in, the husband's really worked up. Like, the husband's like, this fucking bitch. He's like, this fucking bitch keeps sending us crazy messages. And the girl's explaining, and then they're both on their computers, like, it's, it's giving they're in it together, like they're sending it to themselves. Yeah, but then they find out that this girl is faking her pregnancy. This, in this new release. Yeah, so then he goes to the police and he's like, I'm sleeping with the enemy, I don't trust anything about her.

How do you find out?

The cops told him, I think. Okay, so now you're like, okay, it's all this crazy girlfriend, but you're like, now we have an ex-girlfriend in jail, can someone check up on her? The ex-girlfriend sits down and goes, I need to tell you about this man. And I go, finally some juice!

What?

She goes, let me talk about this man I dated and why I was in a psychosis. So apparently, first of all, he's a Disney adult, which which is pleasant for many people. I didn't like it coming from him. And she was like a very wholesome person. I guess he wanted his Belle. I try not to judge.

No, Disney adults for women, cute, different. I'm not even gonna say cute, but like different. Do your thing, girl. You're on your own journey.

Men being Disney adults on their own, not part of a family, a single man as a Disney adult. I'm calling the police.

Don't come near my children, I'll tell you that.

100%.

So he's like, you're my Belle. And she's like, okay. And then, but she's really like kind of prude and sweet, like doesn't do drugs and whatever. So they move in together. For some reason she buys the condo, which I don't love, because she was— it's not like she had money. She was like, I'm broke, but I got us this condo. I'm like, I don't like that. But anyway, then he starts asking her, I want to see you hook up with another man. So my gaydar is going off. No one mentioned it the whole documentary. I'm like, he wants to see a man, a dick. Yeah, but I digress.

Yeah, again, you don't judge.

I don't, I don't judge. And she's like, I'd actually like rather not. She's like, ooh, that's actually the one part.

Oh cool, I love that, um, that we're getting creative.

Yeah, I love brainstorming. I'll be throwing ideas in and we'll pick which one's right. But she was like, no. Apparently every fucking day he was bringing it up to her.

Okay.

And he was like crazy controlling. So he like is tracking her, telling her what to wear, how to act. And she's young again, she's like 10 years younger than him. She's 25. We're moldable. Yeah. And finally she's like, okay, like I'll sleep with a man.

Okay.

If you want me to. And she was just like traumatized by it. She was like, it's fucked up. And eventually she has to like escape from him. Someone was visiting and she like ran out. It's like, you know, it's fucking bad.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And he's blowing up her phone, all this stuff, and she goes into like a fight-or-flight psychosis.

Yeah.

And she was found like in the middle of a field.

I can't believe I haven't left somewhere in the middle of the night. That's so me. Yeah, to be like, you know what, I'm just gonna leave.

I mean, I hope you don't ever have to, but if you can, you'll be able to bring Daphne very fast. That's one thing we know. Well, that's one thing. Daphne will be fine. You literally found Paige in a field, but her cat had a Louis Vuitton bag.

Daphne's like in a bed that has like 4 posts, and we're just like on the sidewalk, like, we're figuring it out, figuring it out. It was an emergency, emergency move. Anyway, okay, keep going.

So she was in psychosis, found by a Native American family, okay? And they were like, this girl needs help, okay? And then she kind of gets out of the psychosis and sends him an email. It's basically like, go fuck yourself.

Yeah, okay. And that's the email she was like, sorry.

And I think in the email she said something kind of religious about like, God is watching, or like something. Oh God, I mean, I hope so.

Actually, it doesn't seem like it. It's getting crazy.

God was watching.

Yeah, it seems like he exited out of the tab accidentally.

God was too busy to deal with this stuff, so So I guess the girlfriend used words from her email to continue that voice. But also it was crazy, but what wasn't smart, the emails that they're getting, I was like, how do they know it's ex-girlfriend? She was signing it Michelle.

Perfect.

I'm like, if I was sending crazy emails to someone, the one thing I, even that mom who was sending crazy text messages, she's not signing it your mom. Right. Like there's something mysterious about you not knowing who it's coming from. That's the whole point. And they were like, Michelle. The shitty ex-girlfriend. Like, that's how they were signing it. So that was fucking weird. So then you're like, wait, this guy— this is where multiple truths can be true. She's a con artist. Yeah, he's a psychopath.

Together, perfect marriage. So who was sending the emails?

So they think— they did research on the computer— they think it was coming from him.

He was sending it to the girlfriend who was lying about being pregnant, pretending to be his ex-girlfriend, and I kind of—

she was in it, and he Oh, guess what he used to get a guy to come over for, like, Craigslist.

Craigslist. How has Craigslist not been shut down even for like a month?

Look, all PR is good PR.

Like, there's definitely been murders where people have met on Craigslist.

I think because when it gets to the court, they're like, if you thought you were gonna go on Craigslist and have a good experience, that's on you, baby.

Craigslist has a phenomenal law team. Whoever is in the law department there, because how many times have they probably had to be like, not liable, we have nothing to do with that?

Because Craigslist does— their whole business theme is under-promise, over-deliver. They never say they're gonna be helpful. No, it's probably like, we're stuff online. Like, I don't know, it's like, we're Craig.

We're here, but don't really involve us.

'Bad things might happen.' That's their tagline. So when something bad happens, they're like, that's— but if something good happens, like you get a kitten from it, you're like, holy fuck, that was amazing, Craigslist. But they're like, but don't expect that every time.

We have a lot of bad qualities, but sometimes we have good qualities. Focus on them.

I would love their marketing meeting. Like, I'd love to be in it and to be like, is this the month that we maybe update the font? And someone's like, go fuck yourself.

Like, something really bad happens on Craigslist and they're like, this month we're I want to focus on apartments for sale. Like, let's—

also, there's someone who sees all the stuff going on in Craigslist and is just like, this is another day at work.

No, that's what I'm saying. Like, I need to talk to someone who works at Craigslist.

There has to be a gigler at Craigslist.

Weird shit.

There has to be a gigler at Craigslist.

Like, and I'm sure, like, they have to be getting called by the police a ton too. Like, hey, we think there's like a link between someone that emailed someone.

Also, you know other sites, they have put so much like you're not allowed to post this, that. I'm pretty sure Craigslist is like you could post whatever and it— no one really cares, right?

Like, does Craigslist have an approval like where you post something and then like they have to approve if that's okay, or it— you can just post anything and it just shows up?

Post and like, it's— the creeps are very organized. Like, they're like, I'm looking for this with this with this. They put it in wherever it has to be in the category and they find each other. I literally found 3 apartments at Craigslist. It's really good in New York.

Do you want to know something? I've never even typed in Craigslist before.

I don't even know what you're doing tonight.

I don't even know what the homepage—

I know what you're doing at 3 AM tonight. You're about to— whenever I want a kitten, I would go into Craigslist and be like, orange kitten Bronx.

And you can shop and you can—

like, people literally just like put their cell phone number and you just text them. You're like, hey, I like your kitten. They're like, great.

They're like, great, come over.

Yeah. But you know, in the '90s we had Community. I don't know if it was around the '90s. Yeah. That's the internet. Yeah. But, um, so yeah.

Okay, cool. I actually am gonna do like a deep dive on Craigslist. Like, are people shopping for like, are, is there like vintage clothes on Craigslist? Yeah. Like, is there a, like, like if I went on and said, hey, I have this cat for sale, is Craigslist verifying that I have a cat for sale? They can only do so much.

Let's not ask too much of Craigslist. Craigslist is if Etsy and StreetEasy and eBay had a really bad child.

eBay needs better PR. You know what I think they need to update their font and their color scheme? Because eBay though, if you go on to buy like something vintage clothing-wise by eBay, they're getting it first and making sure it's right. I've seen a lot of TikToks of girls who have gotten like really crazy bags from eBay that when I went through a whole approval process and stuff.

The Victoria's Secret show, we were like, what if we wore vintage Victoria's Secret?

And you got—

we found a $13 slip from eBay. Yeah, this is unsponsored.

Yeah, but I'm with eBay.

But yeah, Craigslist, just have a little—

just beware.

Yeah, just Craigslist is like that cousin that you'd only see like once in a while who's like, every time you see them they're like into something new and you're Wait, he smokes weed now?

Also, I love that like the girlies get really into Craigslist.

Do they?

For what?

I don't know.

Oh, maybe after this pod, we'll see.

Let me just check my docket, make sure I didn't have anything else.

Yeah, well, I do have to say, our merch— yeah, we basically sold out, so we're ordering some more. Some more. That's how it works. Yeah, so we ordered some more and it's available.

S'mores.

Some more.

You know I'm having issues.

Yes, sorry, sorry.

Some more. Actually, some more is hard for me to say.

Oh, well, maybe that's a good thing for you to work on when you're like at home.

You're like, maybe work on that on your own time, not on our professional podcast. She goes, this is the look.

Not on your personal diary. It's actually— we draw the line at that.

Okay, well, thank you for giggling with us. We'll talk to you guys later. Bye!