Transcript of Giggling about engagement rumors, runways, and rooftopping

Sup, gigglers? Gary, fix the Wi-Fi. Manifest that shit.

We can't be managed.

I mean, the day just got away from me.

We're back, baby. Hello, my, um, gorgonzola gigglers.

When's the last time I saw you in person? Like, when's the last time I touched your skin.

Well, you never really touched me when we're together.

Next time we're gonna hug.

No, I remember the last time. I don't remember when it was, but I remember being like, "I'm not gonna see you for a long time." Oh yeah. And you were like, "I cannot wait to show you my outfits in Italy." I'm so happy to be back though.

Like, it was such a good trip, but I'm so happy to be home.

Well, I was fielding your requests people are like, where's Paige? Where's Paige? Where's Paige? And then they were like, she's been gone for 2 months. And I'm like, no, I know it's too long. But no, no, I don't think it was too long.

It was a transformational trip, really.

Innards and outwards.

I had so much fun, but also I was like ready to get home to like the comforts of my own bathroom.

Do you feel like you need a vacation from your vacation?

Well, that's what like the second part of the trip kind of is.

Oh yeah, yeah, you're like, I factored that in, don't worry.

I factored that in because my cortisol levels just like go way down. And my brother got engaged, which also I like— by the time I saw the rumors that I got engaged, it was like past the time that I could say something on Instagram. So I was like, I'll get it on my forum.

I have to formally apologize because I actually was I always end up part of the drama and I don't even mean— I swear, like, you know me, like, I'm— my name always gets thrown around.

I don't do anything, I don't say anything.

And we were FaceTiming as we do, and I smiled and Paige was like dying laughing. And like, it brings me joy to see you laughing so hard at my ugly face, so I screenshotted it. And I posted it so innocently.

Wait, I feel like I didn't even see that.

I posted— basically it's me like this and you're like this, like laughing cute, and it looks like I got engaged. Well, then I put my phone down, go about my day.

The comments. Hasek, so you started a rumor about me while I was like literally having IBS symptoms. Did I do something?

IBS symptoms? You had E. coli, babe. Like way worse. I have IBS symptoms.

No.

So everyone in the comments is like, oh my God, Paige FaceTimed you to show you the ring and you guys are like freaking out. And I'm like, I wouldn't ruin her engagement by being like this. Could you imagine making it about my smile? Be like, I know Paige got engaged, but look at my smile when she got engaged.

Even any time I posted a picture smiling, the gigglers were like, honestly, it's— this is like the meanest thing ever.

Well, yeah, well, that's bullying.

So you started a rumor about me.

One of my friends texted me, it was like, did Paige get engaged?

No, my mom was getting text messages. She was like, she was like, wait, what? And she was like, no, Gary. And then my mom was like, did I tell— like, she was like, I think I told them that it was Gary.

Poor Gary. Everyone goes, it was Gary, and everyone goes, oh.

Well, the best thing about it is like Gary and his now fiancée, who is like a gem of this earth, I literally I'm so excited for them. Um, she doesn't have Instagram either, so like they don't give a shit at all. Like they didn't know, they were like, what? Like we— they are like real people living in the real world.

I'll post in the newsletter because if you were just going like this, like, like, like it looked like you were like excited and happy. You laughed. Can a girl giggle?

Can I wear a white dress and have a laugh?

Sorry, you have a tan and white is the best to go with it. Also, my thing is like, for a second, was I like, did she get engaged? I feel like you wouldn't get engaged at the end of your trip.

Also, I feel like you'll know.

No, fully no.

You want to know one thing that was like kind of— I did see a couple comments and they were like, have you seen her nails? She would never get engaged like that. And I was like Just because my nails grow. I got them done the day before I left. My nails and hair grow at a rapid rate.

You were there for 3 years and I looked down, I was like, they don't let you get away with anything.

No, I don't get away with literally anything.

And I have a diet also.

I guess I didn't really think much of it because like, which seems weird because you would think it would be more when you're on reality TV, but whatever. Anything I've seen about myself post-reality TV, I'm like, that— where the heck did they get that? So like, I haven't seen one rumor in the past like 2 years that's even been close to being true. So when I saw the— I was getting engaged, it was like the middle of the night, and I was like, what am I gonna do with this? So I just went about my life.

Well, this is the problem with rumors, especially like du mois. People love to be like du mois always wrong. That's the problem, is that it's not. Occasionally it is. Like, for example, Jack Antonoff and Margaret Qualley— there were rumors and everyone's like, shut up, duma, and then it's real. But then someone like, like us, we— I get off Summer House, I don't post my, my husband for a couple months because this poor man needs to recover.

Yeah, he's traumatized.

He's in witness protection. And everyone is submitting saying we're divorced because I'm not posting him, right? So like they're just pulling from what they can online because they— because you're not— they're not getting what they used to, you know?

Also, I've like— I don't have a single man that's ever gotten away, so like period, period. And so I'm like, I'm fine.

It's so true. But also the gigglers know more about stuff than like the generic articles, so it's so funny. See, they get— they're like, first of all, she had diarrhea. From day 7 to day 18. But like, I feel like people could see you getting engaged in Italy.

Totally plausible. I feel like I got those rumors though, like the year before and the year before that and the year before that. So like, I don't— I like didn't really care. I will say my favorite thing about coming home from vacation is the very first day. Hannah, you would hate this day because I'm doing a full factory reset.

Oh, it stresses me out. You know this stuff stresses me out.

I'm getting my nails done, I'm getting my toes done, I'm getting a massage because my neck is just like a box.

Yeah, from tanning.

I have to, I'm gonna do my laser. I have to do a hair mask. I did a face mask last night. And you like this. I have to do my red light. I literally can't wait to get off the phone.

Oh, is this the meeting you have?

No, I do have a call at 10, I do have a call at 10:00 AM. Anyway, I do have a couple housekeeping things that I brought away with me that changed the course of my trip. One, this one's for you if you don't have one, Hannah. It's gonna change your life. You need it. The Shark handheld fan, the mini fan.

Oh, the cold one? I actually— I got it. I didn't know how to use it. I got scared.

It changed my whole life. First of all, the battery lasts pretty long. I didn't charge it one time on the trip. Literally right on the last day I went to use it and it was dead. And so that lasted pretty long.

It lasted 3 years.

It lasted 4 years. It worked so well. It saved me in a lot of situations where I was like, I'm gonna pass away. Yeah, I'm gonna die. And then next, I don't do any skincare on the plane, but Medicube has this like, um I'll put it in the newsletter. I don't know what the first word is. Chloraseptic? Whoa, no, does that— that— I feel like that's for your throat.

That sounds like when you get surgery, they put it on so you don't get an infection.

Acid, like spray. If you spray that, like, before you get on the plane, I feel like it helps you from breaking out. I always break out after a long flight.

Wait, why do you put your foot down and not do skincare on the plane?

I feel like my skin is so sensitive, and when you're doing skincare on the plane, I feel like it's your pores are open and the air on a plane is like— you don't want, you don't want your other people's farts sucking in that like bacteria. And then like you put a face mask on, then you trap it in there. I just like— and I always break out regardless after a plane, so I like that. There was one other thing, now I can't think of it.

That was really good though, like 2 out of 3, that was huge for you. Um, I'm so stressed about your day today because, as you guys know, well, I'm going through the Masseter Massacre, and I decided I want to book an acupuncture appointment because I did it once before and I think it kind of helped. Yeah. And part of me— by the way, Grace is our CEO, like, she doesn't do personal stuff for us, like, ever, but I was occasionally, I'll be like, Grace, can you like call the hotel and tell them something? Like, because I'm scared. Yeah. So I was like, Grace, every millennial needs a Gen Z friend who's not afraid to call, who doesn't give a fuck. Like, yeah. And also, for some reason, on calls, like, if there's gonna be a miscommunication, it's gonna happen. Like, that's just how I interact with people, and I don't know what it is. I I really try my best, it always happens. So I was like gonna tell Grace to try to call for an acupuncture appointment for me, and then I was like, I feel like that's like too much, I'm gonna do it myself.

Why? Because I don't know, it's like, it's like healthcare, like who knows?

It's not really healthcare.

I literally sit there and I like have to like pump myself up. I'm like, you fucking do it, you fucking do it, you can do it.

Why, you couldn't go online?

No, it's one of these like mom-and-pop acupuncture. Like, I'm not— I'm gonna get, um, an STD from it for sure.

She's gonna say a mom-and-pop acupuncture place. I've never—

we've learned nothing. It's just a heroin addict that's like, do you want me to stab you with a couple needles? It's just a subway car, just a guy in a subway car.

So anyway, how'd you find this place? You just did a quick Google search.

I know this is my problem. I love things that are close by, so I don't care how many Google reviews you have. If you're close by, I'm going out of convenience.

And that's how I am when it comes to people coming to my home. Oh no, like, if I can get the service in-house, come on over.

100%. So I make the call and a nice lady is like, hello. And I like immediately my adrenaline's up. Like, I feel like I'm in a speedway chase and I'm like, I would like to book and see if I would— I would like to see if I could book an appointment. You know, you like, you forget how words work. You're like, appointment book. I would like one tomorrow. And she was like, we have no availability tomorrow. And I was like, what about Friday? And she's like, no availability on Friday. And I'm like, okay, I feel like we don't have to play this game anymore. Like, you tell me, you tell me. Like, so I'm already like, okay. And then she's like, okay, we have like next Tuesday available. And she's like, what's your name? And I'm like, Hannah. And she's like, Anna. And I'm like, Hannah. And she's like, Anna. And I'm like, Hannah. And we go back and then she's like, can you spell it? I'm like, B-E-R-N-E-R. And she's like, what? And I'm like, B-E-R. Also pretty.

Yeah, pretty easy last name.

So that's like, it's already— I'm already like, I'm like about to hang up. Like, I'm like, I don't need this.

And like, you can't talk well.

No, I'm fighting for my fucking life. So she's like, can't get my name. And then she's like, when's your birthday? We go back and forth, she can't understand that. And then she's, she's like, what's your insurance? And I'm, and I tell her the insurance, and she's like, I've never heard of that insurance. And I'm like, I'm, I swear I'm not trying to like scam you, that's just my insurance. And she goes, I've never heard of this insurance. She's like, let me Google it.

There's nothing worse than being on a customer service call and they say I have no idea what you're talking about. Like, they're—

you've really stumped me. Like, I'm the crazy one. I'm like, you asked me for something, I told you, and now you're like, are you sure about that? Yeah, about that. So then she's like getting into like, well, we don't have this insurance, and she's giving this whole spiel about how they don't have this insurance. And I said, how much does it cost with no insurance? And she's like, $100. And I said, you know what, I'll pay that. And then she gets into this like, are you, are you sure? 'Cause then she— and I'm like, blah, blah, blah. Finally I get off the call. 4 years off my life from this call. She's calling me back. I said, oh hell no. Now she's onto me. Like now I have a stalker. She's calling me back. Actually, at first I don't pick up 'cause I don't recognize the number. Then she's like, hello, it's Marianne from whatever. So I finally pick up and I said, hi. And she's like, I need the chief cause of why you want to come to us. I said, the chief, chief cause? I'm like, you could just say why you're— why you need to come, but it's okay.

Okay, I've never heard that phrase before, man.

Buckle the fuck up, Marianne. So like, I don't know how to say it, but I'm like, it's clinical, so I should like tell them exactly what's going on, right? This is like It's not clinical, like as in it's my muscles. Like, I, I just go, I knew this was going to cause chaos, but I just say I got dysport in my masseters.

And already Marianne's gone.

She's like, what the fuck are you talking? She goes, what's a dysport? And I said, I can't get into this right now, Marianne. She's like, can you spell it? And I'm like, we're not doing the spelling thing again. This is going to take forever. And she goes, what's the next thing? I said, masseter.

She goes, what's a masseter?

I said, Marianne, it's this— we've been on the phone for 3 hours. Like, how close is this place?

Because unless it's literally next door, I think you can drive a little bit.

So then I'm like, look, I got too much Botox in one of my muscles. And she's like, it's great, I never heard of— I never heard of this mess. I've never heard of this before. I'm like, I'm not lying to you. Like, I swear, I swear. By the end, I was like, I'll give you all my money Don't call me back and just get the appointment set up.

Yeah. Okay, so do you have the appointment?

Yeah, I'm going on Tuesday.

I can't wait to see if it works. I just feel like acupuncture is one of those things that like if you don't do it every twice a week, it's like—

but that's the thing, I'm at the point where like I will commit to twice a week because like you'll try anything because now all the comments are like, so The bit is up. Like, is this her now? Like, the comments are just like, is this who she is now?

Like, the jokes are—

the jokes are subsiding, and it's like, okay, wait, speaking of clinical, what a good segue.

I'm in the ocean the other day, and like where our hotel was, like you could like walk down into the ocean, and they had these like floating platforms that like kind of like swayed in the water. So like naturally me and my brother's fiancée are trying to push him off the platform, you know, like, and he's trying to like maintain balance. Well, I get hit so hard, like I get pushed so hard that I smacked my head on the bot— like on the bottom side. I don't even know how I did it. Smacked my, my cyst right out. Did it myself. Did it my— and I go, so on brand for me, like, hold on, I'll just do it my fucking self. I don't have time to waste. I'm not worrying about other people doing it. Did it myself. Doesn't hurt. Not at— literally first time I could put pressure on my left wrist in like 2 years, I feel like.

Wait.

Maybe even longer.

I'm in shock. They do say the sea heals everything.

Yeah, I mean, I don't— I think it was like a combination of me literally getting like traumatized and in the ocean, but it was perfect. I literally, right when it happened too, I felt relief. I was like, wait, I think I just fixed my wrist.

So for the gigglers with ganglion cysts, go to Capri or Capri, um, go stay for 2 weeks, get E. coli, then stay on the ocean for your cortisol levels to go down, then wait for a rumor about you getting engaged, but it's actually your brother who got engaged, then try to push him off a cliff, and then you get pushed off, and then you— that's how you get rid of your ganglion cyst, and it's medical.

Yeah, so I was like really proud of myself. Wait, I'm so proud of you taking care of it because I had it on my to-do list, and I literally got back to my phone Deleted it right off.

Oh, that must have felt nice.

It felt so nice. No, not being— I didn't realize how much pressure I wasn't putting on my left wrist because I was in such pain until it like fully came back, and I was like, oh my God, I haven't— sorry, I just saw a pair of slippers and I thought it was Kitty.

Classic mix-up. Classic mix-up.

Also, Kitty wouldn't speak to me for like 6 hours. Oh, she was mad. Yeah. And then finally she was like, if you want, you can pet me.

Wait, did you kind of low-key love that she has the self-respect to be like, oh, you just want me to come running back to you?

Yeah, I did, because she wouldn't even make eye contact with me, and I was like, strong.

She was texting her other friends. She was like, sorry, I have new people in my life.

I was like, you take after your mother so much. No eye contact.

She goes, sorry, what's your name?

She goes, sorry, I don't see you.

She goes, is it Pam?

Wait, I watched the Jennifer Garner show on Peacock, Five Star Weekend. Phenomenal.

Shout out to Jen Garner, who is so good, one of the most famous gigglers. Famously.

No, she, she did an interview, uh, a couple weeks ago, and she said that she the character that she relates to the most that she played was Jenna Rink. And I— it was just everything I needed to hear because in my head that's what I think of her personality as.

Do we have to try to get her on the pod?

Yeah, we should.

Like, but we get like a— we have to do a sit-down. We can't— Jennifer Garner can't do a Zoom. I would never put her through that.

I'm not sending Jennifer Garner a link. No, I have respect.

And then she gets on, I can't find my SD card. It would be a whole—

no, I'm not dealing with it.

Embarrassing. She's so fucking iconic. I love her so much. She's so funny, she's so nice, she's just everything. She's such a giggler to a T. She really—

her, like, her aura and everything that she's in. And also, this show was like the perfect amount of episodes. It was like such a— I watched it on the plane ride home and it just— I also love the actress, um, I can never say her last name. Chloé Sevigné.

Sevigné. Do you know she's my fashion influence?

Really? I feel like I never see things that she wears. I feel like she's chill and low-key, like doesn't go out much.

She doesn't go out, but when she does, she's like New York City.

Yes, I get—

yeah, and she'll wear like—

you're loving to a T. Did I say—

have I said to a T like 8 times today? No, I need to like— I need to learn how to speak. Like I say one thing and I'll say it for like 2 weeks.

You want to know what it is? It's because you're done working and you now are in your retirement community center and you're starting to adapt as his phrases. This is what happens when all you do is play tennis and golf all day. You start saying these phrases. And I have to get my friend back.

My mom, like, I was this close to being invited to a mahjong tournament. Now, by the way, mahjong tournament, it's a whole thing. They do it like at the—

Wait, do you know how to play?

No, I had one lesson. That's why I said, Mom, I'm not getting my ass beat and embarrassed. I just had an acupuncture fight with someone. I'm not going— I can't deal with this right now. But she, she's had a couple lessons. It's the cutest thing. She was like, everyone loved my outfit. I'm like, you got dressed up for the mahjong tournament? She was like, oh, it's an event and it's not for the men. She's like, it's all women and you want to show up looking good, like, out of respect for the other women. I was like, Paige would love this. But also with mahjong, like, I would have showed up like a poker player. I would have had— I would have had sunglasses.

What? I'm— you— there's just so much to keep up with.

No, but also, I literally have to do a shout out to my mom. She's fucking insane. She's retired. She's doing Zumba, knitting club, mahjong, Pilates, Historical Society. Lions Club. Sorry, Mom, for putting on blush.

Is she trying to get into college?

What the hell? Oh my God, my mom is such a high-performing individual that every club she goes in— I think she's actually like about to be president of one of them.

She goes in and she's like, I could rework.

She also was doing the play. Um, she's also singing jazz. She's— she wrote everyone's part. She, she's one of those people who said the other people's lines when they were saying them.

She's the writer, director, and star of the show.

She has a world tour. She is doing jazz all around Long Island, so if you want to see my mom perform live, check out— I need to get her a website.

And she fosters kittens on the side.

I call her and she's like, hey babe, I'm at Zumba, hangs up.

She's like, hey, look at the itinerary.

Like, no time for me at all. Um, but she gave me some really good advice because my mom She's such a high-performing individual. Some would call her a high-value woman. If I was Andrew Tate, she hates getting sick. Like, she'll do anything to not get sick because she has so many clubs to be at, right? And she doesn't want to get anyone sick. So she found something online about the Japanese. Okay, now one thing I trust is Japanese and cleansing— clean— cleanliness.

Don't get on that side of TikTok. It's a rabbit. You'll be up till 3 AM. The cleaning contraption. If I, if I get on Japanese clean your floor TikTok, it's over. I have to immediately get up and organize something. I'm like, I'm disgusting. I'm like, I think labels are good. They have these individually— it's too much. Their organization is, it's insane.

So apparently they teach children at a young age because you know how kids, like, kids got you sick, apparently we think. Totally fully putting a family on blast, but that family got you sick.

I don't care.

So she said they teach kids that when they get home— do you know when you have a sore throat, sometimes they'll tell you to put like sea salt in water and gargle it?

Gargle.

They teach the kids that every time the kids come home from anything, they gargle. They do that in sea salt and it like trains their body, and they like do that. So my mom has been gargling sea salt water when she comes back from all her clubs. And I was thinking like, you should do that when you get off a plane, you should do it when you come back from a party. I just think it's innocent 'cause like nothing bad can happen.

Wait, I love that.

'Cause it works, you know, it's definitely worked. And I think, I think the gigglers should start gargling.

I don't know if this is FDA approved, but sometimes when I have a really bad sore throat, I just gargle straight up peroxide.

Paige, no. Paige, do not, nope. You guys, you guys don't do that. Don't, don't you dare do that.

I'm like, what's gonna happen?

A lot of things, Paige.

I don't swallow it.

Yeah, but why?

People use it to whiten their teeth, so I was—

actually, it could be a two-for-one.

Yeah, you're like, I feel like this is fine.

You're so wild. You're so naughty.

Well, when it comes to my hobbies, I get crazy.

Yeah, you want to push the limit. I know people use whiskey sometimes. Like, it's like, like if you have like a toothache, you put whiskey on it.

I've never heard that.

Well, my friend might just be an alcoholic. Wait, did I tell you Nana visited?

No, what did she do?

Nana and Papa came over. They brought chicken parm— I mean, eggplant parmesan. So fucking good. And she hadn't seen my smile and she was just like, oh, oh, Hannah, no.

She was like, your face looks like it hurts.

But then she started laughing.

And I do— and I'm not just saying this to gas you up— from the minute you told me about it, it's definitely getting better.

Yeah, it's just like so slow. But yeah, my papa was so funny. He goes 'Who did this to you?' He goes, 'Where and who did this to you? I don't care if it's a man or a woman.' It was my own fault. I really feel like the Masseter TMJ PR team is freaking the fuck out.

Wow.

Freaking out.

As they should.

As they should. Because I have all these messages of girls being like, 'I was at the dentist,' or, 'I was at my med spa,' or whatever, and they said, 'Do you want to try Masseter?' And every girl's like, 'Oh, I forgot your dentist Your dentist, surgeon, and all the girls are like, I see what you're trying to do to me. Not today, Satan.

I feel like I've never been offered by my dentist.

They never offer it, but I think it's available because it's like a jaw-related thing. But now all the nurses are like— I even have nurses messaging me being like, let me do it to you next time. I'm like, next time?

Yeah, I was just gonna say, are you gonna ever get this again? No.

Paige, this is the worst 3 months of my life. This is the darkest time. I'm, I'm below rock bottom.

You know that Mercury was in retrograde? I think it still is, and I feel like we really felt it. Yeah, like a lot of weird things happened to us.

So many weird things. But also, if I was a nurse practitioner, I wouldn't have the balls to be like, Hannah, can I try it on you? It's like, we clearly learned that it can happen.

It can happen.

It can happen to the best of us.

It's the luck of the draw, so do whatever you want.

I'm watching some shows.

You are? Wait, what? Did you see that Kris Jenner's mom died?

Oh, I know. It's— you know how I hate grandparents dying.

I hate when grandparents die. But she was 91.

She had a long, beautiful life.

She lived a good, amazing life. But she will be missed on the show for sure.

Maybe she'll make friends with my grandpa.

I was waiting for you. I literally brought it up just to see if you—

I love when you set it up for me. You're like, say it. I know you're gonna say it.

Say it.

I hear you.

Okay, what shows are you watching? Because wait, do you want to hear something so smart that I did? What? I saw this show on Amazon and I was like, how have I never seen the show? I watched the first season. It's called The Serpent Queen. It came out in like 2023 or something, originally on like Starz. Great. I get through the first season, I'm like, this is the best show I've ever watched in my life. I go to watch season 2, can't watch it. And I'm like, okay, maybe it's because I'm in Italy, my VPN, like Whatever. I like do all this stuff to watch my shows. So I text Josephine and I'm like, do me a favor, go on your Amazon account and see if you can like get this show. I feel like it's not available.

Download it, we transfer it to me.

She's like, says it's unavailable. She like checks some other streaming platform. She's like, says it's unavailable. So I'm like Googling and it's like, okay, might not be available in the United States anymore. So I'm like, where else would it stream? So I set my VPN to England, and I'm like, it definitely plays in England. It's about— it's like a period piece. It's about British people and French people. I find a free streaming platform in England, get the second season, watch the full second season. I'm a Woman in STEM. But I don't know why they're not making a third season. It's one of the best period pieces I've ever watched. You would hate it. Your mom would love it.

My mom's gonna love it. She's gonna— she's like literally writing it down right now while she's listening. The Serpent Queen, so good. Yeah, not something I would click on unless that was a documentary. I'd be really into that.

I'm also watching Little House on the Prairie again. Not something you would ever click.

I saw that. I don't want to watch these bitches with their weird hats running around.

I—

why is there hats like that?

It's, it's kind of like precursor trad. Like, it's trad-wise.

I was like, who's Chad?

No, like it's trad— it's like the origin of trad wives, but it like, that was for survival. Yeah, well, that's the thing, trad wives, like, I feel like trad wives, like, low-key, they're like, okay, this isn't like what we really meant. Yeah, we didn't mean like abandon all self like this.

Oh, you want to be a trad wife? Walk the Oregon Trail, bitch.

Yeah, like, I feel like they were trad wives because like they would have died. Yeah, if they weren't, like, they had to keep themselves alive.

Well, I actually think you might like this show. I do try to find good shows that if you have a boyfriend— and I'm sorry if you do— or a significant other, I try to find shows that like you and the boyfriend will both like. I wanna recommend Widow's Bay.

Everyone's been talking about it. I haven't clicked.

So it's been under the radar until The Emmy nominations came out and it got the most Emmy nominations of any show. 19 Emmy nominations. And shout out to my friend Kelly Galluccio.

I like the way you say Emmy nominations.

Because of my mouth right now?

Yeah, say it again.

Emmy nominations. I can't— nominations, you have to spread. Why?

Nominations is a—

That was a hard one for me, girl. Oh, I need a break. I need to take a rest after that.

Okay, got 19.

19. So what's— it's like creepy and it's like a thriller, right? It's kind of scary, but it's not like scary scary. But what I didn't realize about it is it's fucking hilarious.

Like dark humor?

Not even dark, like silly humor.

Like, oh, okay.

For example, there's a scene where this guy is trying to tell people not to go to this um, in because it's haunted. And he's trying to— he took a wooden board and he's trying to put the board over the, um, door so no one could get in. And the whole scene is them fighting and he's like hammering the door. And at the end of the scene he walks away and someone just opens the door because he just like put it on the door, not like around the door. Like little things like that.

But it's like a murder mystery.

They call it a mystery. I personally really, really, really am enjoying it. Um, It is creepy and weird, but I love a weird island show. Yeah, like a— it's like Shutter Island if it wasn't nearly as scary.

I was just gonna say, are you like— are you the type of person that's gonna turn on that movie Obsession? Like, it wouldn't even cross my mind.

I don't like horror.

I don't like anything like scary where I'm gonna sweat.

You don't want to spike your cortisol.

Yeah, no, and that's what it is.

That's what it is. I can't have my cortisol spiking.

Yeah, like I do so much work to try and wind down. Anything I'm buying on my night side table is titled wind down, settle in, like take a breather. Even my candle names I feel like are like chill out for a minute. I'm not then turning something on the TV where like I feel like you will turn on a documentary about murder and that won't spike your cortisol, which is interesting because that's non-fiction.

Let's say I have a day where like I'm just not feeling good about myself or whatever. I'm not feeling good. I turn on a documentary about a bunch of people who almost died on a cruise ship.

Yeah. Oh, the one on Netflix?

I watched it. I was afraid to watch it because I was like, what's the story here? Like, I get it, it's saying everyone almost died. Um, It's crazy because they have so— wait, did I just sound like Vanessa Hudgens? It's inevitable, people are gonna die.

It's inevitable, people are gonna die.

It's so upsetting because cruise ships are like— nothing ever happens on cruise ships. It's not the fucking Titanic, like, right, right? And it's all these people with like crazy footage of it, but of course A fucking man, a fucking cocky-ass captain. The long story short, not to give it away, I mean, it sank.

But, um, okay, that like 30 seconds sums up my— like, you as a human. Like, you start a story and then like halfway through the sentence you're like, actually, new sentence, new sentence. And then it's like, you know, the end of it, you just give away the whole thing. You're like, actually, just Like, do you want me to go back and give details? Because I just give you beginning, middle, end.

I highly recommend people watch it.

Well, we don't know what it's about.

You didn't explain it at all. All these people went on this cruise. It's actually in Italy. Don't go on a cruise.

But recently, like, what year?

Like, 2011. It's— let's just say cruise PR and Masseter Botox PR are spiraling right now.

Yeah, I don't think cruise PR has been good. It's really— it's— they're having a rough—

but this was a fancy one. Like, it was like everything was like marble and gold, and it was a lot of these people.

Like, it's too heavy.

One couple— yeah, one couple got engaged. One couple was there with their 1-year-old daughter. Like, okay, it's all family celebrating things. That's why I hate sometimes vacations.

And did they die?

Not everyone.

Okay, well maybe we'll give it a gander.

But it also just shows that the captain, he, he tried to— he went off course because he wanted to like go close to an island. And it's funny how documentaries, like at first you're really mad at him because you're like, he basically didn't want to admit that he fucked up. And if he had just admitted it from the beginning, everyone would have time to get away. But he wouldn't say abandon ship. Which apparently it's what you're supposed to say. Abandon ship. Like, you should have done it.

Does that mean everyone jumps off?

It means let's get off the ship, like with the lifeboats, and let's organize it.

Got it, got it, got it. It's like starting the process.

Yeah, instead they're telling everyone it's fine, it's fine. And if you know about sinking ships, it starts slow and then it gets fast.

And with the wrong man can also be true.

It's a life lesson to us all. So, and then this motherfucker, the captain, abandons the ship before other people, which apparently is like, you're not supposed to do.

I feel like they take an oath to not do that.

You're supposed to go down with the ship if you're the captain. And isn't that like about being a pirate or something? So you're basically like, fuck this dude. But then you find out later that this company was trying to compete with all the bigger companies. And they basically were like, had to hire a lot of people and were training them a little bit too fast, to the point that the captain had actually submitted and been like, hey, I think we're, we're hiring—

nobody knows what they're doing.

Yeah, like, I don't think the people under me are like actually ready. And then when they found the black box or whatever that has the communications, yeah, the captain was like going about it the wrong way, but it's also because he couldn't understand what happened because he actually didn't really mess up. The person below him messed up, so he like couldn't be like— he's like, I'm not abandoning ship. Like, what actually happened? But they were like, it's flooding. Like, it's flooding. Like, you're fucked. And he did go off course. Like, he was kind of being naughty, but he was like, I could— you know how these captains are. They're like, I could do my captain thing.

I don't know if it's like captain specific, but like, yeah, like I know how like grown men are like, yeah, I can do it. Like, yeah, I can land the plane. It's like, okay, well, wait, you know, we didn't even touch on that we can't eat any like vegetables or lettuce, which not a problem for me.

I'm not like, oh no, I can't have salads. Literally, my friend was like, don't have a salad today. I'm like, guns to my head, I was never gonna have a salad today.

Okay, but now that people are saying you can't, don't you like want one? No. See, like, all I'm craving is a berry tart.

Oh, actually, I was with Grace earlier. She comes walking in, there was like snacks, and she's holding raspberries, and someone was like, Grace, don't do it!

Yeah, that's like so scary. Like, literally, we were— when we were on our way home, my dad was like, well, good thing like we have our own garden. Like, we have lettuce.

Okay, humblebrag Gary.

And I was like, that just sounded so apocalyptic and scary. I was like, good thing you have your own garden.

Good thing we have tuna fish at home.

Do you want to know the number one thing I've been craving? I was craving that. I like had to come home and I ordered bread to have peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I think I might go on a kick of it for the next—

you could get Uncrustable.

And they're saying that the parasite, whatever, came from Taco Bell, which is so crazy because right when I got to Italy I was like, oh, I know the first fast food I'm getting when I get home, and it's gonna be Taco Bell.

Hey, but do you think because you got it already you're like immune?

Well, I don't think I had— that's what I had.

People are saying that's what you had.

So there's murmurs.

So there's murmur— there's been murmurs.

I'm the only person in Italy though? No way.

I can't confirm or deny.

I'm not con— I'm not still having—

you're gonna say contaminated.

I'm not still having consistent diarrhea though anymore. I mean, I'm— I mean, I'm— I'm not not, but I'm not—

we're not solid over here.

I'm definitely not solid. No, I'm definitely not solid, but I'm definitely not— I think I have parasite vibes. Wait, a girl made a TikTok and she was saying like, you know how when you go out and you like lay out in the sun and then you feel like skinny for whatever reason, or you feel like because you're dehydrated. But she said the sun is so good for your gut, and I believe it.

Well, in New York right now, it's really unhealthy, the weather. But why are we suddenly meteorologists? Meteorologists. But there was a Canadian wildfire, and it's, it's blowing in.

It actually looks a lot better today.

Okay, one thing I think you need to watch, but you— it will raise your cortisol. Have you seen Skywalker? Skywalkers?

No.

Skywalkers. This documentary is fucking insane.

It's a documentary? I thought it sounds like an action movie.

It's actually a love story.

Is it recent?

Yes, very recent. Okay, actually, okay, where do I even begin? I'm so excited. Okay, so this girl was raised in Russia and her parents were like circus aerial acrobat people.

I'm in.

Yeah. And they're like madly in love and they're really fucking talented. The dad cheats and the mom gets into a dark depression and the daughter is like, I will never depend on a man ever seeing what he did to my mother. So she's focused and she's like, I wanna do something with my life. And she has the genetics of these like acrobat people. So she's freaky talented as like a gymnast.

I love carnival people. Absolute weirdos. I love it.

Yep, they just live off the grid and do flips and shit.

Yeah.

And this thing starts happening in Russia called rooftopping, and of course it's all the boys. Not—

that sounds nice.

He goes, is tanning involved?

That sounds like a hobby that like I could get into. I'm like, what's the UV? I've definitely rooftop before. As a verb, for sure.

All these boys who don't want to go to therapy are going around basically in Moscow or whatever, going to the top of rooftops, and they like, and they like take photos for their social media. And it's like you have to kind of break into a lot of these places, like you can't just go on people's rooftops. So like part of it is like you have to be like a spy kind of, and you're not vandalizing anything, you're just getting to the rooftop.

You're just trespassing.

Exactly. Okay, so it becomes this thing and she's like, "I don't care that I'm a girl, I'm on a rooftop." And she starts posting these like really creative, cool rooftops because she can do like cool poses. She's also like gorgeous, so she starts going viral. But then there's this other boy who's like doing the splits on rooftops. Yes, she's like has her leg behind her neck and like she's wearing like a ballerina outfit. It's like iconic.

This is all happening in Russia?

Yeah. And then there's this other guy who's like the shit, like the head Rooftopper, and she's like inspired by him and he definitely notices her. Like he notices she's doing cool stuff.

How old are they?

They're like early 20s.

Okay.

And they're both hot, and which is why you might like it. So then, okay, he messages her out of nowhere and he's like, do you want to do this deal with me, this brand deal? Because there's rooftop brand deals.

A modern—

a modern love story.

The most modern love story.

He goes, use code Russia22, rooftop20, 20% off Neutrogena.

Actually, I remember what my third thing was.

What is it?

When I get back from a trip, I'm so dry, and in the shower, my Neutrogena oil. Thank you for reminding me.

What kind of oil?

Any one of them. Neutrogena Rain Bath Body Wash is like my top.

Amazing.

And their oil, I usually only use it in the winter, but I do use it when I get back.

So you never feel like too slippery?

No, because you like rinse it a little when you are in there.

So anyway, he messages her and she's like, I'm kind of worried, like, I don't want to go all the way to China with this random guy, but like, I need money.

And why'd they have to go to China to do the brand deal?

They get a lot of attention when they do certain buildings, certain— and they're— it's like a really big building in China, and they're like, go to the top and like hold our product or whatever.

Are the skyscraper people from New York? Roof choppers.

They are the Empire State couple, and you don't find that out till later. And then it made me think they did that whole thing to promote their documentary, and then I was like, wait, is Netflix in on it? But they got fully arrested. Like, I think Netflix was probably like, maybe don't do this promo, go do the Today Show maybe.

And my PR team's not working hard enough because This is the most genius marketing. Who cares they got arrested? What's it?

She didn't have her phone for a couple days. Must have been fucking nice. Okay, so they go to China and they're videotaping it, and you see them like, like meeting each other, and they're like kind of cute and like flirting. And then it shows them like going to— she's like learning from him and he's learning from her, and they have to trust each other. But when I tell you, like, I wouldn't— I'm like scared of heights in a normal person way. Yeah, like, I'm not like— but yeah, I'm fucking scared of heights.

Like, I'm not doing— like, one, I'm never jumping out of a plane. Are you doing a hot air balloon?

Not necessary. Like, that's— I don't want to be in a Netflix documentary.

No, me neither.

When in doubt, be like, will this get me into a weird Netflix documentary one day that'll entertain someone over my death? No. So they start doing skyscrapers. Which means like you get to the top and then it has this like— I forgot what it's called, but it's like the penis at the top. You climb up that thing and get to the top and they start falling in love with each other and they're like madly in love and they start posting together and they both are getting even bigger and blowing up. And long story short, they have like— they climb like the highest building in like Malaysia or something.

Okay.

And it's the scariest experience. They get to the top and he holds her like a— like some crazy— when I— but I kept telling myself, they don't die, you know, they're on the Empire State Building, they don't die. But the fact these— but also all their friends are dead.

What's the long— I was just gonna say, what's the longevity?

She's like, we lost Jeff because they're falling. Yeah. She literally was like, all the people I came up with— it's like comedy. I'm like, all the people I used to do comedy with, gone.

I, I don't get it because like when you said rooftop, I genuinely was thinking like apartment building.

Yeah, like the fourth floor of a townhome.

So they're like scaling them free? Like, I don't care.

Honestly, they can go in through elevator. They go— there's all these like ways they go in. They always say also that going in is harder, but leaving is really easy. No one questions you when you're leaving. They do apartment complexes, they do all kinds of things, but they get so high and they're filming themselves too. So they're also like a full production team, like they have a drone.

In the documentary, are they showing the people that have passed away that are— are their friends? Are they like giving a little story on them?

Like, no, they're just like, Jeff's gone. She's like, 'No, uh, Jeff.' There he goes.

No, it's not.

It's not funny, but also like, they— people knew what they were getting into. Well, because what makes them go viral, the more dangerous it is. So like, they try to go more dangerous.

I am so proud of people that carve their own niche. Like, be unique, do what you want to do. It wouldn't even come into my brain to like, okay, I lose my job, how am I making money? I'll scale a building. I—

who knew?

It's like, maybe I'll like get a desk job, scale a building.

Well, they keep having to like do better each time, like beat their last climb. Then the girl like at one point, like she breaks her hand and she's like, I can still do it. I'm like, what?

No. No, I wouldn't even go up there with a ganglion cyst. I mean, where are they getting married is the question. Oh, it's gonna be crazy.

Like in the sky? Every skyscraper is like, 'Can you just look out for these two because their wedding date's approaching?' They're like, 'They're getting married on the moon.' Oh my God. So anyway, that was— I actually didn't want to watch it, and then I started watching it and I was really into it.

What's that on?

Netflix. I'm very into people who are able to like have a hobby to like, yeah, forget about everything else going on in the world. Like that's all they care about is climbing.

Well, I do. I am being serious. Like I do envy people that like have a hobby and then they're like, how am I making money from this? I think that that is such a special set of skills to be like, I can—

that's us with the app—

figure out how to make this my life. Yeah. So whenever I hear stories like that, I'm like, what was your hobby?

Yeah.

I'm like, this is my public forum.

My therapist did tell me I need to get hobbies that aren't monetized and that I don't show anyone, which is totally valid, but I've not started any because I'm like, what's the point of this.

Speaking of hobbies, I get my book for Italy that I'm like reading. When I get it in the mail, I realize that it's like 430 pages, and I'm like, okay, the girls didn't warn me that I— honestly, it was a perfect book for my ganglion, but I didn't have to use it. So I bring the book on vacation. I also brought Strangers because my mom wanted to read it, and I had like 50 pages left in it. Kim takes Strangers. She reads it on the plane ride there. She reads it for like the first maybe 2 days of vacation. She hands it back. She's like, finish this.

What?

And I was like, okay, like, I'll finish the rest of it.

Parents read so fucking fast. Wait, was she pissed off after?

No, she wasn't pissed off. She was more like, it was, it was a quick read, it was easy. It's very depressing though, very sad. Like, that was her take.

She was like looking at Gary weird.

No, because my dad doesn't have an email. No, if my dad was up and leaving, Kim would have known 6 months ago.

Kim was like, I would never be left in the dark with this. But, um, if anything, Kim, Kim would be the one to jet.

She's the only one that knows how to get out of the town, out of town. So she reads that, then she I'm like, well, I have another book that I brought. And she's like, okay, hand it over. She reads a 430-page book in like 5— like at her leisure.

Yeah.

And like literally we're getting on the plane to go home and she's like, I finished that book last night. And I was like, I didn't even start it. Like I literally was on page like 13 and I was like, should we go in the pool? And then like I never picked it up.

But you're like, I got the gist. I got the— that's what I do with Harry Potter. I was like, I read the first 5 pages and I was like, got it.

And then I realized I am like still in 6th grade, like having to do a book report. I'm like, okay, well, like, just tell me what it's about.

Paige Lee does read Wuthering Heights in 2 days and like understood it.

No, I just, I, I just feel like we're losing the art of reading.

And you're like, and I'm the reason.

I'm like, there's no way I would be able to do that. And then I felt like so stupid that I wouldn't have been able to do that.

But you can put together a photo dump on Instagram like nobody's business.

Well, I'm trying not to put pressure on myself, but like, I started reading in January, so like, not putting pressure on myself, I just want to see how many books I can read.

Why don't we start with picture books? Start small. What do you not—

so I'm gonna do— so far I've read 2 books, and I want to finish another 2 by the end of the summer.

Wait, I love that for you.

I just ordered Yesteryear too. I'm also just like obsessed with ordering books and then—

wait, no, I order every book. I own every book that's ever been written. It's so cute.

Something so fun about—

read Yesteryear just because I told him it was like popular and he was like, wait, was it good?

Because I just got it.

He liked it. He had notes. My mom read it. Although, because my thing is, if everyone's reading it around me, I'm like, I kind of through osmosis When I was sick, I—

there was a moment where I was like, Mom, what if you just like read the book to me? She was like, well, I'm in the middle of it. Like, you want me to start from the beginning?

I'm like, oh, why does that remind me of when you're young and you have to like write an essay and you're like, Mom, could you just give me the first sentence?

That actually was a huge part of my childhood. My mom was always reading to me.

Could you give me like the third sentence?

Yeah.

Oh, well, my mom was, um, a military officer and would make my brother and I read, like, there was like a competition of like how many books you could read over the summer. We would read like an insane amount of books. I think I'm— I was gone too hard. Like, this is me, like, I was too— doing too much.

See, God puts you in the right family because I would have—

oh my God, I was doing tennis practice, I was reading as many books as I can. Um, there was like a library thing where they had your name and you had to like put all the books— like everyone could shame you if you didn't get enough books.

Yeah, that's so you.

But my mom was a teacher, so that was like her whole thing. Yeah, it wasn't her fault.

No, and you're better for it.

I also— I want to let people know, do you know we are on this season of Project Runway?

Oh yeah, we haven't even talked.

Well, my nana— August 16, something. But they already— okay, my Nana was like, I'm watching Project Runway, and I love Project Runway, so I watched the first episode too. And I go, oh, did you see me and Paige? She was like, what? I'm like, Nana, we're in the first episode, like the first minute they flash us. So my Nana was like, I didn't see it. I play it for her. Oh my God, that's my granddaughter! I'm like, yeah, Nana, you missed it.

But our episode's not out yet.

No, but they flash us in the beginning as like one of the guest people that come through.

That was a fun shoot.

I had so much fun. I also wore a hilariously crazy outfit.

I had a— that was like a fun, like, random little hosting thing that, like, truly, as such a fan of the show, I just wanted to be like in the workroom to see what it felt like.

Crazy.

I was like nervous. Yes. I was so not nervous to like do it because it was a fun thing to do with you. Nervous that like what the contestants were gonna say to us, like I didn't want to mess them up.

No, 100%. There was too much pressure. But there's like also a GIF going around of me and you now from the show that's like really cute. Oh, it's like us like walking in in our outfits. I love— your outfit was fire.

Oh, thank you, doll.

Um, so yeah, everyone watch Project Runway on Hulu. This season's, I feel like, really good. Like it's they have Tyra Banks and Law Roach as judges.

Did you see Eva went on— I want to say it was Watch What Happens Live— and they were asking her about Tyra Banks and the Netflix documentary, and she said, they never called me to even do it because they know— they knew my answers would contradict the entire documentary.

And I thought, tea biases be happening.

Yeah.

Biases.

Anyhow, anywho, okay, I'm having a full factory reset this weekend if you need me.

Okay, so you're busy.

Yeah, I'm busy. I'm unpacking, I'm doing laundry. I bought a new LED mask, so I'm trying that out, and it has an attachment for your neck.

Oh wow, you're leveling up.

I'm deep in it, and I heard it's gonna rain this weekend, which is perfect.

You're locked the fuck in.

I'm locked in.

Um, Thank you guys so much for giggling with us this week. We love you so much. Talk to you later. Bye!