Sup, gigglers?
Gary, fix the Wi-Fi.
Manifest that shit. We can't be managed.
I mean, the day just got away from me. Right before the pod starts, I'm always like, oh my God, I have so many things to tell Hannah. And then the pod starts and I'm like, that's scary. What's my name?
How did you find me? Who are you?
Like, I just wrote one note: tell myself, tell myself to wake up.
Well, can we just say this is an early morning pod? We have to warn people when it is because it does have a different je ne sais quoi to it. Yeah.
Yes. Not good, not better, not worse, just, just slightly different. Interesting. They're in a different headspace today.
Oh, the mornings.
Okay, no, I have, I have a hack. Okay, you know how I'm always like waking up in the middle of the night doing weird things? She's a night owl.
She's a vampire.
I think, yeah, I think before I go to sleep, I think, oh, I'm like annoyed that I know I'm gonna wake up at like 3 or 4 in the morning. So we did a science experiment the other night. Right before I went to bed, I said, Paige— I said it out loud too, and in my head a little bit— I said, Paige, you're waking up at 7 AM. Because I have an amazing internal clock and never slept through an alarm in my life, like can wait. I wake up 30 minutes before I have to wake up, and then I like ease myself into it. It's a big thing, or I get a stomachache. Anyway, so I did that the other night and it worked.
This podcast is just an internal dialogue of us fighting our demons, and you're like, this is what's going on in the dark depths of the night inside my head. Wait, so you manifested waking up at the right time?
I manifested, yeah. I told my body, hey, cut it out. We don't need to wake up at 4 AM. And I did like a slight wake up, but not like an overly—
when you wake up in the middle of the night, does your heart start going because you're like, oh shit, I'm awake and I can't go back to sleep? Okay, sorry, I didn't want to put that in the ether. Don't listen to that.
When something is like physically going on in my life that's like causing me angst, I will wake up super early with like tight chest heart palpitations.
Are we on the therapy Zoom or the yush? I go, and that's why Wellbutrin is recommended. We had a different night last night. Well, okay, I have the kids, I have Lois and Bobby, my niece and nephew.
You've been treating me like a— you're a new mom. Like, I call you with problems and you're like, I don't know, call someone who has time. I I have kids.
I fully like haven't checked my text messages all day. I don't know how moms have time to— I can't shower. Like, it's been chaos. Um, Lois is literally you reincarnated.
Yeah, Lois is everything I want my daughter to be. She's spunky, she's sassy, and she's stylish, honey.
But I think that she looks at a lot of photos of us and me wearing these like cool outfits. So when she sees me, she expects me to be in like a beautiful dress. So I—
yeah, she expects— she expects you to have done glam at the minimum before she arrives because she's proper. Yeah, she's like—
so she's, you know, kids wake up at like the crack of dawn.
She goes, Mom, Aunt Hannah's catfishing us, we gotta get out of here.
Will the real Slim Shady please stand up? Because that's not my Aunt Hannah. So she wakes up with the crack of dawn and then I'm in my bedroom sleeping. So she's, I think, assuming that I'm like getting ready for her. So then when I come out looking how I look in the morning, she's not happy. I walk out and I see her smile turn to a frown, and she goes, we need to change your outfit. This is me wearing my pajamas, my hair's a mess. She goes, we need to change your outfit. And I'm like, let me have some coffee, let me start my day. We need to change your outfit. I say, okay. She takes me into my room, she goes, show me the dresses.
She's like, show me what I have to work with.
She's already rolling her eyes.
She's like, I'm not expecting much, like it's not promising, but let's just see.
She knows immediately if she likes something. I go, is this cute? She goes, ugly. I go, is this cute? She goes, ugly. I go, okay, that was $300. Okay, never mind. She looks and she knows what she likes. And now, you know, she loved purple. She goes, I need to let you know, I also like light pink. And yellow. And I go, add it to summer colors. Got it. So she takes a white dress, she brings out— I have like all these sandals all over the place. She finds the cute white thong sandals that match it, gets a white necklace, puts it on, and then takes my Miu Miu white purse and goes, okay, here, you're welcome.
She goes, was that so hard?
And she goes, Mom, Look at her now. Look. And then she literally was like, tag the stylist, bitch. Give credit where credit's due. And she's walking, she's looking, and then she loves me. She's literally like you when I have glam. She's following me around. She's like, you're like a princess. You're like a princess. Yeah, she's literally— my brother was like, doesn't Paige like you better when you're pretty? I'm like, yeah, I'm literally like reliving Paige through this little girl's eyes.
She has a pink aura.
We go to the pool. God forbid I pick up my own bathing suit. And at some point I'm like, this— I need to talk to Jeannie about the control issues.
But anyway, she's literally standing at the pool, she's like, why is no one ready?
She goes, we have to change. And she— I basically was like, do you want to pick out a bathing suit? And she goes, take them all out, take them all out. So I put them all on the floor.
She goes, because what I've seen— because what I've seen—
she's literally— she's like smoking a cigarette. Get out of my head! Get out of my head!
You—
that really freaked me out.
I just, I just picture her standing in your bedroom doorway like, this is it?
She's taking smoke breaks in between.
We're in the Hamptons, this is what you have?
Oh God. So she looks through and she loves things that are sparkly, but I don't have any sparkly bathing suits.
You don't have any sparkly bathing bathing suits. You're 34, get a grip.
She's literally like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
She holds one up, she goes, really?
She took a lighter and started burning one of them. She goes, never wear this again. Who let you buy this? She's like, is this— how many Amazon bathing suits does a person need?
She goes, Mom, extend my trip, I gotta be here at least a month.
I don't know how I have this bathing suit. It must have been for like a theme party, like when I was 24. It's a silver bikini and I'm like, please don't be a thong. My whole family's here, please don't be a thong. And she goes, I want you to wear this. So this is 10 AM and I put on this silver Spring Break Cancún Girls Gone Wild bikini.
I feel like I know which one you're talking about. I feel like it's like a little metallic.
Yes, it's metallic, but like it's This wasn't the vibe of our West Hampton morning, right?
She's like, do you have any heels?
So I walk outside with her. My dad, my brother, Jeannie, Bobby, my mom are just sitting on the couch, and they just— they're not even dealing with it at that point.
They're like, they're not fazed by it.
So we go in the pool together, and she loves mermaids, so I'm like Am I a mermaid? I'm looking at her and I'm like, my hair's in the water, I'm like, am I a mermaid? And she goes, you're a fish. She's like, don't give yourself— you're a fish.
She ate down with that, cleared the whole room, cleared the whole pool.
But why she loves me is because one thing Aunt Hannah has, she's got the credit card.
Yeah.
And one thing about me is I can't say no to Lois Burnham. And she looked at me and she goes, can we go to the fashion store?
Which is that just like any store that has clothes?
Yes, where she can get her clothes. And I said, if I— how many new clothes do you want? And she was like, 100.
And I said, she's like, I haven't seen them yet, bitch. Like, what do you mean? She's like, we haven't stepped in the store.
But what I love about her is I talked to her like an adult and I said, Lois, if I get you 100 new clothes, where are you gonna put your other clothes? And she goes, in my dresser, in the garage, and I'll get rid of the old ones. She had a full plan. She goes, I have an organizing team coming over and we're gonna donate the ones that I don't wear anymore because it doesn't fit me anymore. So I actually do need the new clothes.
She's like, I'm doing a brand deal with an organizational company, don't you worry about it.
I see the montage right now, Lois Burner's walk-in closet.
She's like, by the looks of it, you don't care about organizing, so So buzz off. Now, is she into like toys at all, or is she strictly like fashion?
So we did get distracted by the toy shop. She was like, would it be crazy if I got some toys too? And I said okay.
She's like, and then we'll get lattes.
It's literally like I was just on a girl date. We did pool, we did shopping, we did come up with outfits. She got the Demon Hunters, um, Barbie. She loves Barbie. She wanted every Barbie, and I was so proud of myself. I was like, pick one Barbie.
I don't know how parents are even on TikTok because I feel like even when I get like a TikTok ad for like some toy or game, I'm like, yeah, I want it. Like, I need to get— I don't know how moms aren't just buying everything.
And the algorithm's so good. Like, if like she loves purple dresses, so I just keep getting fed purple dresses and I'm like, well, I can't not get that purple dress. But then she did a page and she's— it's like this crazy toy store and she's looking like she's going in the details, she's reading the fine print. And she goes, I want that. And I'm like, what? And it's like all the way in the back. Like, I don't even know how she saw it. It's an infant baby. She's a mother with a full bassinet. And she goes, with the bassinet? I go, how do you know what a bassinet is? I don't know what a bassinet is.
She looked— she looked at you and she goes, spell it.
Oh, I'm supposed to hold my baby raw? You need a bassinet. So she's holding the bassinet baby while calling me ugly. And it was the most fun, but I'm, I'm exhausted. Oh, then not to bring up Walt Disney again. Okay, do you know that's a theme on the— oh, remember we talked about Bambi?
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, we don't remember anything we've ever talked about on this spot. We start fresh. I go, nice to meet you.
No, we're like 50 First Dates when we get on the pod. We're like—
there are so many times I'll go fully into a story, I'll finish it, and Paige would be like, you said that last week. And I go, cut it, Grace. Cut it. So do you know who Hans Christian Andersen is?
No.
He's not a guy on the, um, Norway football team.
Okay.
He wrote The Little Mermaid. He's like the guy.
Okay.
Of course he was written by a man.
Of course.
So my mom has like this old book of like Hans Christian Andersen.
They were— he was like, what's my dream if women shut the fuck up?
I read the original Little Mermaid to her, and it's, it's a novel, like it's like 60 pages but like a ton of words, and she like somehow knows when I skip words. Like, it's kind of weird because I'm like, you can't read, how'd you know that I'd like— yeah, skipped 4 paragraphs. But, um, the real story of The Little Mermaid is crazy. Is it?
Like what, like dark and twisted?
Basically, when I got— my mom's walking by and she goes, you're gonna need to change the ending, walks away. I go, what the fuck's about to happen?
You had to pull a Charlotte's Web.
No, I didn't have to change the ending. I had to change the whole plot line. So it starts off— what? Basically this girl— I mean, it starts cute. She's like a mermaid and she sees a prince on the boat and who's really hot. And I'm like, but even though a guy's hot doesn't mean you're going to be happier in life. I try to put those stuff in, you know. Um, it's a little male-centered, right? So then— oh no, the kids, the kids are coming back in. I'm dead. I don't know how this is gonna work out. All they do is yell. This is crazy. Why are they back? I told them 10:30. Why are they Okay, let's have Lois say hi and then I'll kick them out.
Lois!
Okay, sorry about this. Hope you don't have anything important to do. Lois, come in here, come in here. I'm on Giggly Squad. Do you want to say hi? Come in. I'm gonna— there's Princess Paige.
Oh my God, Princess Lois! Look at that princess dress! I love your dress.
Did you put together an outfit for me? What did you get me to wear? Remember the white dress? What color bathing suit should I wear today? Pink.
Pink, yeah. Hello, sir.
Bobby, say hi, Giggly Squad.
Hello, mister. A man of few words.
What color bathing suit should Paige wear?
What color bathing suit should I wear today?
She's considering a lot.
Yeah, she's like thinking. She was like, well, with your skin tone right now, how about blue? Okay, perfect. We're so similar. We think similarly, Lois.
Okay, Hannah needs to finish the podcast. Can you lock them up? Or maybe just put them outside? Yeah, put them outside. Bobby, say bye to Best Princess Paige.
Bye. Bye, Bobby! I love your t-shirt. I have a flower dress. I love your flower dress. Do you think I could borrow it sometime?
Yeah.
Well, show Paige how Hannah smiles. Oh yeah, how does I— how do I smile? Show Paige.
Yeah, how does Hannah smile?
A single— bye, babe, I love you. A single mom who works two jobs, who loves her kids but never stops.
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Okay, this is like so niche, but like I remember like random quotes from like childhood movies that I was like obsessed with that watched every single like day. And there was a quote in Matilda where the Trunchbull says 'Oh kids, glad I never was one.' And I, and I think about it every time I see a child.
I go, 'Oh kids, glad I never was one.' See, when I see a kid, I turn into a 4-year-old. Like, we're just 4-year-olds together. Okay, so back to The Little Mermaid. It's just so fucked up. So she sees— but she was like, 'He's tall, he has green eyes.' I'm like, 'Lois, do not fall for this. I fall for it before.' Just because you see him across the room with tall blue eyes doesn't mean you're gonna like sell your fucking soul for him, okay? So then the boat— the waves get high and he falls out the boat and the princess saves him. So it's like, why are we saving a man? It's giving Zendaya in Challengers. But anyway, so she washes him up on the shore, but then she hides because she's a mermaid and that would be weird, right? When he wakes up a different bitch finds him and he thinks she saved him, which— that's typical like male story writing because like where's the communication? Like at no point was he like, did you save me? She'd be like, no, I just found you here.
But instead, do you know one time a guy sent me flowers and I thought it was someone else and so I texted the someone else and I said, I like, oh my God, I can't believe you sent me flowers, and he went with it for like a while. That it Like weeks until I found out.
Do you know that's actually an amazing move? Um, just to text random guys, thank you for the flowers.
Well, I have before said— texted people and said, oh my God, did you send me flowers? And then when they respond, you don't respond because then they think like, oh, she figured out who really sent her flowers and now she's talking to them and she can't respond to me.
You are playing chess. FNL's playing checkers. So he's falling in love with this new girl who he thinks saved him, because God forbid he actually asked, did you save me? So just classic miscommunication, right? And then she's, um, she goes back to her sisters and she's like, I met a guy. And they're like, no. And she's like, no, he's really, really cute. And they're like, he can't swim. And she's like, no, but like, yeah, he has blue eyes, he's tall. Like, that's literally the story. She finds him but she has to give up her voice and she has to be naked.
And not that much has changed in the year 2026.
If I had a nickel for the amount of times a sea witch takes her voice and then basically throws her on the shore naked and alone with no voice— and the most fucked up thing, he's into her.
And that's usually how I am after a breakup. I'm naked and I have— I've lost my voice, I've lost myself.
I'm a shell of myself.
I'm a shell.
Okay, but the thing is, somehow he, he like befriends her and I'm like, how do they befriend each other when she can't speak? So she's like, they're really into each other, but he goes, but I need to marry the girl who saved me. Not this beautiful mute girl who I clearly am really into. He's like, I just love how your mind works.
I love how you can say so much but yet nothing at all. You tell such a story with your eyes.
Basically, the prince was talking to her for like an hour straight and then was like, you really get me. He was like, you're the only one who understands me and you're really fucking cool.
No, you want to know what? We don't talk enough as a society because this would like really piss the men off. It's so easy to get a guy to like you, but it's so hard to like a guy. Like, truly, you just have to ask a man 3 questions consecutively about one like thing that he likes and he will be obsessed with you.
Literally just go up to a guy and be like, I love OG Anunoby. 'Did you watch— like, what did you feel about the finals? Like, wasn't that insane?' And then let him talk. The Knicks. Let him talk for like—
oh, I thought you were asking me for a minute. Now, babe, I would not—
no, that's two different—
I don't give a flying—
be like, 'Wasn't that the craziest time ever?' Um, this is for the New York summer scene. Let him talk for like 30 minutes and be like, 'Same.' And he'll be like, Yeah, I've actually never met someone that like can like understand me besides like, like, I feel like you're, you're like my mom.
It's so funny, this girl made a TikTok and she was like, I know I say, I know I've said something wrong on the internet when I have a lot of men responding being like, yeah, need more of you, like protect her.
Wait, no man's ever commented protect her, which is hilarious. No man's ever commented protect her.
I feel like the moment a guy says like, wow, like, girls aren't like you, or something like, you've, you've gone awry, you've gone amiss, you've said something wrong.
When a guy likes your outfit, it's not a good outfit.
It's not, it's not good.
Just one feminist moment, I have to say. I was thinking about all the red pill men that are obsessed with like controlling women, and that's what makes them masculine. Do you know what's the most masculine thing a man can do? Protect women, stand up for women, like fight for women. That is the most manly thing you could do, instead of putting down women. That's not cool, not masculine. Oh, you, you're, you're stronger than us and you're trying to suppress us?
Ew, not cool, guys. Not cool.
Ew.
Anyway, okay, so the prince is like, I want to marry you, but no, no, no, he goes, I want to marry you, I love that you don't speak, but this other girl saved me, but she can't speak, so she can't be like, she didn't save you. And I guess the other girl's just going with it, which, you know what, good for her, he's a prince, I kind of get it. I'm like, if he wants to say that, cool. So then they throw a wedding, they throw a full wedding, and okay, she goes to it because she's toxic. And she's—
yeah, no, literally a masochist.
She's dancing. I don't know if she has clothes on, but she's dancing at the wedding. And what really happens is she goes to her sister and she's like, I can't deal with him being with this other girl. And the sister goes, you should kill him. So violence gets involved.
Okay, and suddenly I'm back in.
You guys spaced out the last 10 minutes. Now I'm clocked. I'm clocked for my shift.
Now I'm logged in. This is— how'd she tell the sister if she can't talk? She can talk to other mermaids.
Great question. I guess she can talk to other mermaids, maybe in the water. So many plot holes that in that meeting they were like, it's Hans, let him do what he wants.
Typical Hans.
So then the last— my mom literally was like, you gotta change this part, because the last picture, she instead of killing the prince, turns and kills herself.
Oh my—
the picture is her with a knife into her chest. That's the last photo on this ancient book. So then I changed it to being like, and then they live happily ever after, but you don't need a man.
I need to see this book. I need to see this picture.
I'll put it in the newsletter. It's insane. And these— Lois is in a very vulnerable place right now. She is soaking up. She's like a sponge.
Yeah.
So I'm reading this and I'm like, we never had a chance. No, we didn't. So next time you're feeling bad, we never had a chance. And also, like, what was Hans going through? Who hurt Hans? Who rejected Hans?
It's so funny you say that because I was with one of my girlfriends the other day who's married And I, I said to her, I was like, don't you just feel like we were fed this lie our whole, like, lives as women, where it's like, don't worry, because one day you're gonna get married and, like, you'll get taken care of and you'll be a mom and, like, all this stuff? And then, like, as you get older, you're just like, why do they even say that to us? Yeah, because now I'm like, who's taking care of me? Like, what are you talking about?
100%. I'm— well, shout out to my dad. Every now and then he's— he says something profound. Even a blind squirrel finds a nut.
Yeah.
And he's— he said, don't let a man distract you, which I've taken that with me my whole life in terms of like, if a man is annoying you— not annoying, because men can annoy you all the time— but like, if he is causing you negativity or like not pulling you in the direction that you want to go, you get rid of him. So I think like that was really powerful at a young age to have my own dad be like, you don't need us.
Can I say something that's like not as— not powerful, but like it's stupid, but it's like a—
wait, let me talk to the team. Yes, you can.
Okay. In my 20s, when I would arguably say I was like the most boy crazy, the most like pick me, like, oh my God, I have to have a boyfriend, like all of this, I've always been like a list person. I've always made a schedule for myself every single day, like just think random things I want to get done. I've— I would notice that when I was with a certain type of man, I would do nothing on that list, whether it was me being like, fuck off to the list, or it was him actively doing things and it was like, oh well, I don't have time to do this stuff for me because I have to do this for him. And then when you find yourself with someone where you don't even have to live together, but like where you find someone where you're doing everything you planned on doing that day without them as a thought, and like still you're able to get it done— I feel like that goes undetected a lot. Like, people don't talk about that as being like a real pro to a relationship. And it, it's in some part like you're still able to be yourself.
So I notice the moment I'm not doing my to-do list, I'm putting way too much time into you and what you're doing, and now it's fucking my shit up. And you can tell. And if someone doesn't care about fucking your shit up, regardless of what it is, um, what scale it is, they don't care about you. Like, a man is— like, if I tell my boyfriend, like, I have to be here at a certain time and he's like dilly-dallying and not get—
he doesn't respect you.
You don't respect me. You don't respect my time. You should be ready like 30 minutes before because you know I have to get somewhere.
That was extremely profound. That was really fucking good. Thanks. That was so good.
But you have to figure out what works for you, like how you notice it for you. Like, I just know my to-do list is a constant in my day to day, so I could like pick up it— pick it up on that.
Also, when I think of dating like a game, I'm like, like when something would happen when I was like 26 or like 25 and it didn't work out, I was like, oh yeah, because I'm, I'm not the person I'm gonna be, and the person I'm gonna be is gonna attract better people too. So why fight for like this version, this guy who likes this version of myself that isn't even there yet? And I always say the more you focus on yourself, right, the more you open doors to meet people who are going to meet you where you're at. And if you're not where you want to be, you're not meeting people who you want to meet.
I really do believe that you attract the type of people from like what you think about yourself. Like, you know how people say like, oh, if you look back at your ex-boyfriends, you can see like your mental illness, or you can see how much you loved yourself? Oh. Like, if I really did a timeline, like, you can see what happened in certain relationships and why you go like opposite sometimes, because you're like, that was really crazy, I need no part in that ever again. So it's just interesting. You really have to like take self-inventory when you're dating someone because it's so easy to get wrapped up in those first 6 months. And if it's not blissful in the first 6 months, oh, why are you even there?
If the dopamine still— he's still annoying you, you're still fighting with the dopamine.
No, I think if you're getting in like any type of like screaming match, breakdown fight in the first 6 months, it's not for you. You don't need to even— I should have taken my own advice so many times.
Well, that's why now you can speak on it, because you're like, guys, I've ignored this for years and I've— yeah, I didn't believe it for years. Um, I have to admit something, like I feel like I just have to say my intrusive thoughts on this pod. I saw a video of Benson Boone.
Okay, I still don't quite know who that is.
Not important.
Say it again, refresh my memory.
You'll know who it is when I tell you the story. He's in front of his tour bus and there's like all these fans and he decides, I'm gonna do a front flip. Okay, Benson Boone is the guy who does front flips, like he flips off pianos and stuff. Okay, he was like on the VMAs. I'm obsessed that you have no idea who Benson Boone is. That's incredible.
I have no idea who he is. Like, I couldn't—
that's so peaceful. That's so peaceful.
Picking him out of a lineup, couldn't do it.
The toxic side of me was like, I was making fun of him in my head, but then I'm like, wait, if I could do a front flip and I was on a Giggly Squad tour—
oh, we'd be jumping for—
and there were a bunch of gigglers standing there, I'm doing a front flip.
The best thing that ever happened to us as a society is that you never got into competitive cheerleading.
No, well, apparently I was put into gymnastics, but like, I was— I wasn't good.
I just feel like there's an alternate reality where you were like really into sports, but like more like my kind of sports, but you like dominated. Like, you want a competitive— you want a competitive cheerleading team as the main base. It'd be insane.
Hannah Coded is the base. You're the— what is a flier? They're at the top of the pyramid.
Yeah, you're like a one-arm piked, like—
Paige, this is why our friendship works out. Someone is at the top of the pyramid and someone's at the bottom, and that's how it balances. And I'm always bottom of the pyramid. Get on my back.
When you're looking for a best friend, you have to find your base.
She's sturdy.
You have to go find something— you have to find something grounded.
She's going down.
Wait, someone, someone sent like a picture of— I think it was like a horse race, and one of the horse's names was Quadzilla.
Wait, the best thing I've ever seen on the internet is the video a giggler made of the two horses talking. Can you explain it?
No. If you didn't see either of our stories or on the Giggly Squad, there was a giggler that has these two gorgeous horses, and she did one me, one Hannah.
And it's because the horse that's me is like And the horse that's Paige is like, wait, with like a perfect bang, like a side-swept bang.
She's like barely opening her mouth. She's like, what's going on?
It's so good.
Okay, so how long are you a mother for? Like, when do the sweet babies leave?
Well, I'm literally in Shelter Island, like staying at my parents' house to spend more time with them. And last night at the beach, Lois came up to me and said 'Can I fix your smile?' And she, with her little thumbs, she tried to pull my mouth back. And I was like—
she goes, 'Psst, Hannah, I can't look at you anymore.' Wait, what's the—
what's the Bravo quote where she's like, 'There's no plane, baby. There's no—
there's no plane.' Yeah, there's— I actually don't even really know what that's from, but like, I feel like I've quoted it myself.
Taylor, and like, I think her baby was like, 'Can we go on the private plane?' But like, she got a divorce and they don't have the plane anymore, and she's like, 'There's no plane.' No, No, bring back unattainable people to reality TV.
Like, like, sorry, I need like OG early 2000s generational wealth. Yeah, like I want to see some shit I've never seen before in someone's home. Like, I want someone who like presses a bell in each room and like a butler comes in, you know? Like, I want something—
where are the butlers in New York City? Where'd they go?
I don't know. Do you think anyone has— still has like legitimate butler? Yeah, I mean, I'm sure. Yeah, think about like any like really rich person in the Hamptons. Think about the tea their house management has. Like, that's a reality show, but then they'd all get fired.
True, but like worth it. But within, within each other, they talk. Sorry, my Zoom is like freaking out.
Hello?
And we're on. What were you saying?
What was I saying?
I have no idea.
You know you can ask me that. I have like—
I had no idea. Um, oh, people are also sending me a video of this girl. All her friends were like at the beach and she's with her boyfriend and he turns to like propose, I think, but she doesn't know he's proposing and everyone's looking at her, so she just does a split. And everyone's like, this would be you if you could. And I'm like, literally, that's all I want to do. So she's in a split, he's like trying to propose, and she's like, is anyone— did anyone think that was a good split?
That's so funny because obviously recently I'm obsessed with stretching my hips.
Are you gonna get a split and do it on tour?
You know what, I'd have to silently be working toward doing a split, and then I'd have to bust tested out and surprise you.
You know I can't handle that emotionally. Like, I would— like, I'd, I'd cry. I'd be so proud of you, but that would require you getting out of the seat.
Hannah, I'm not— I'm not practicing to do a split. I just, I just need to be more aligned mentally, physically.
One thing about us, you know I love when you say no to me. Yeah, because then in 6 years, you know, you will be doing splits on stage. Like, I love when you're like, Hannah, I would never. Hannah, stop. And I won't do that. I'm like, you're getting a cat. You're getting a cat.
Okay, so in 6 years, I'm a Pilates instructor who has 7 kids.
I wanted to decenter men, but I also did— like, a guy was watching Friends on the plane, and I was watching it, and I was thinking about We've never talked about this. Which man on Friends did you like?
We've never talked about this. Do you know I've like never really watched Friends?
I never did either. It was always just like on in the background in like my friends' places.
Yeah, like I've never sat down, pilot episode. I know maybe like the gist of it, but obviously—
I know about Smelly Cat because I'm, you know, I have a pulse.
Yeah, because you're alive, you're in the culture. Um, but obviously Joey.
Same.
Yeah, I mean, he's the cutest one for sure.
I'm just gonna say this because I'm gonna be honest. Of the 3 guys on Friends, they're the kind of guys that, like, if I walked into a room, I wouldn't be into them, but if I heard one of them thought I was hot, I would fall in love with them. You know what I mean? You know what I mean? Like David Schwimmer or whatever, I'd be like, he's not that cute. But if they're like, he likes you, I'd be like, okay, you could be my boyfriend. Same with the other one, Chandler. Like, they're cute enough that if they—
wait, RIP.
It's so sad. It's so, so sad. But Joey, I think they tried to make it like he was dumb, and I was like, he's an actor, he had to memorize lines, he wasn't that dumb.
Yeah. And then there was like a stint where he was with Jennifer Aniston, but— and I don't like know about that storyline, but I know that I like don't like it because I just don't— I didn't— I don't like that vibe. I don't know, there's something about— there's something— I love a sitcom too, like I love a 30-minute like funny like whatever. I think all the girls in it, I love looking at them, like I love— yeah, I loved all of that. But for whatever reason, I just like could never get into it. I don't know if it's because it It came out at a time where we were like way too young to watch it, and then when we got old enough to watch it, it was almost like it was such an older show at that time.
Yeah, like Gen Z's love Friends because that— it was like nostalgia. It was like old. It's like us watching Saved by the Bell, maybe.
It's so crazy to think that like Gen Z doesn't know about watching TV like on TV. Like, remember, like, was there ever a show that you watched either like middle school or high school that you waited? Yeah, and then like during commercials you would like run? That's for Housewives. Okay, mine would probably be like Gilmore Girls or something.
Um, Jersey Shore. Um, The Hills. Yeah, but that was like older. I'm just listening everything I've ever watched on TV. My super sweet 16.
When you're around kids, does it make you like, oh my God, I'm— I know I'm even more ready for children? Or does it make you like, that's— it's a lot? Like, does it make you really—
like, I know exactly how moms feel when they say it's so difficult but so beautiful. Yeah, like, I just become the, like, making up things. I'm like, it's, it's the— you'll— you're unhappy but you're so happy, and you, you lose yourself and you find yourself. Like, I literally feel like that. Like, at the end of the day, I'm like, that was so horrible, but I loved every second of it. Like, yeah, but it is crazy where at this time and age where like no woman can fully explain the true experience of motherhood in like a easy way.
One of the craziest things too that I think that we like in society is obviously right when you turn 30, people are like, when you're getting married, when you're having a baby. But it's like you— we get pushed to have a baby and then you have a problem after you have a baby and it— and like I feel like the healthcare system's like, figure it out yourself.
Oh, for sure.
You had the baby, figure it out yourself. It's not like you know if you're gonna have postpartum. Like, it's not something you can really truly, I feel like, prepare for.
And it's not something that like women freely can talk about. I feel like I didn't even hear about postpartum until like the last 5 years, like in my ether.
I literally, I remember asking my mom maybe like a couple years ago, like Did you experience postpartum with either of your pregnancies? Did you have any friends that like had it? She goes, one, we didn't call it that.
Yeah.
I go, what did you call it? She goes, we called it the baby blues.
What a good rebrand.
And she goes, like, yeah, everyone's like a little sad after. Like, I guess I was a little bit, but I had nothing like crazy. And I'm like, that's so fucking insane. It's not like you had me in the '60s. It was 1992. Like, no one asked a follow-up after, like, you had an extremely traumatic birth? And she was like, not really, no. Like, that's just so crazy to me. No, I don't know, I just like think about it a lot.
Well, you finally get comfortable with your identity sometimes, like in your 30s, and then you have a kid and you're like, wait, I just started to like who I was.
Well, that's what it is, I think, too, which is weird, where in your 20s I almost feel like it's— you're easier with change in your 20s because like everything is changing, where in your 30s things are a little bit steadier. You've, you know, you're maybe like in the same apartment for more years, you've been dating someone, the same person, so like things aren't as crazy. And then you have a baby and you're like— like, I feel like you're right back to what the fuck is going on in my life.
They explain the love of children and then the sadness of having children is like you don't know it until you experience it. So it's so hard for these male doctors who were studying it to be like, this is what's going on. I have a pregnant lady in my house right now.
I just feel like— if this is a wild thing to say, but like, being a man and being an OB-GYN, I'm like, but how do you know?
No, I'm calling the police.
Like, how do you know though? And I'm sure there's so many lovely, nice men who are OB-GYNs, but I'm like, I can never explain it to you.
No, I think this should be illegal.
Sorry, I didn't get any of that cuz it's breaking up, but I'm just like going with it.
Oh fuck, you guys, my internet's breaking up. Is it still breaking up? Okay, you know what, I'm going to move. I'm going to move. Oh wait, I lost internet. Wait, Can you hear me now?
Yeah.
Okay.
I watched the Michael Jackson movie.
Oh, you did?
What'd you think?
Is the guy his cousin? Or like his— the guy who played Michael Jackson, he's like related to him, I think. Is he? Yeah, that's why it's so interesting. And sorry, I thought he was spectacular in it.
Spectacular.
Great acting, great singing, great dancing. I mean, I don't know if the singing was real, but the dancing was like— I couldn't keep my eyes off this guy. I'm like, I think we have the new Michael Jackson.
Are you a Michael Jackson, like, take— like, take him out of it? Are you like a Michael Jackson music fan?
I think I'm just like a normal, like, yeah, Michael Jackson, everyone knows Michael Jackson, he's great. But after watching the movie, I went to my parents and I'm like, when Beat It first dropped, what was that actually like? Did you guys lose your fucking minds when Beat It dropped? And they were like, Yeah, and I'm like, because also it wasn't like, you know, now we get like a little notification like someone's album's on Spotify and you don't click it. Like back then it was like Michael Jackson, that was like the number one news for like a year when he dropped a song.
Well, it also like moved it. He started like almost like a whole new genre, like the music sounded so different. Yeah, like what was the vibe when Beat It dropped. Like, imagine clubbing and hearing that for the first time.
No, I was like, were the boomboxes just like all Michael Jackson? Also Thriller, the fact that he creatively came up with that, like, he was like, I'm gonna do makeup like I'm dying and then I'm gonna like— ever— like, am I lagging?
Mm-hmm.
Oh my God, it's okay. I do think there's a part 2 about like all the other shit that went down, because it end— it ended like there's more to— did you see the ending?
Yeah, I saw the ending, but like, I, I, I'm so annoyed by like the movie and television industry, because we went away from network TV and going to the movies. Okay, fine, you got us away from that. Now we're streaming everything. Now we're barely even going to the movies. Stop breaking things into two parts. Stop putting out 8 episodes and acting like you did a whole season and then taking 2 years for the next season to come out. And stop breaking up longer seasons. Oh, okay, you have 15 episodes, stop giving me 6 and then telling me I have to wait till November for the rest of them. Get it together. Like Wicked doing 2 parts, ridiculous, ridiculous. We didn't need the second part. The Michael Jackson thing, okay, there was a lot of stuff you probably could have taken out of the first one. We don't need a second part. Give me one movie. Anyway, that's how I feel because I'm sick of it. I'm sick of streaming platforms being like, okay, you'll get the next part in 6 months. No, fuck you, I want it now.
Oh fuck, can you guys hear me?
It's funny because I feel like Anna's silent.
Can you hear me now? Sorry, it's I froze.
Like, the rant is so funny with no one saying anything back.
Can you hear me now?
Okay, we're— I think we're gonna wrap up today's— I think we're gonna wrap up today's episode. Ah, okay. Um, I've never wrapped up the episode before. I feel like that's all the time that we have for today. We'll be back on Monday. Don't forget to get our merch. Hannah will be childless by then. See ya!
And I'm back. Lost page. Um, it's hard being a mother. That's what we learned today. To be a career woman and a loving mother. It's hard to have it all. But you know what? In spite of all that, we still finished the pod with our heads held high. And if you're a new giggler, This is called just a day in the life of being a giggler. We're very bad at admin, and if you're an old giggler, you knew that was going to happen. You knew that we weren't going to be able to figure that out, but we persist and we deal with adversity. And I hope you guys have the most beautiful weekend ever. And that is literally so Paige. It's literally what we do on FaceTime calls where like we get cut off and like haven't heard from her since, might not hear from her all weekend. We'll see. Actually, no, she just sent me a voice note about something completely unrelated. Um, but we love you. Paige loves you. Keep smiling, San Diego. Never said that in my life.
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