Transcript of Matt McCusker is here! | Whiskey Ginger

What up, Whisky Ginger fans. Welcome back to the show. It's your first time joining the show. Welcome to the show. It, subscribe it, share it with some friends. Leave a comment down below for the algo rhythm. Appreciate you. I'm out on tour, kitties. This year is wrapping up, but your boy is touring. January, I'll be in Chicago. I'm going to be in Chicago, my hometown. I think it's already sold out, but hey, there's some standby tickets available, hopefully. After Chicago, I go to Durham Come on, Durham, North Carolina. Then Atlanta, Charleston, Philly, I'm playing the Met. New York, I'm at the Beacon. So privileged and happy to be there. Phoenix, I do two shows in San Francisco. San Francisco, we added a late show. San Diego, we added another show, too. So San Diego, two shows. Boston, it's our fourth show. We got four shows in Boston. Come see your boy. And Minneapolis, I end the tour. All four are going to be available on sale now, and we're shooting our special in Minneapolis. Hey, Hey, hey, hey. Go to AndrewSantino. Com for those tickets. Andrewsantino. Com.

In here, we pour whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey. You are that creature in the ginger beard. Sturdy and ginger. Like that, the ginger gene is a curse. Ginger's a fugus.

You want me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse. Ginger's all hell known. This whiskey is excellent.

Ginger. I like ginger.

What supplements your sports? Is there a thing that you have- I read a lot.

I read constantly. I do a lot of writing and reading and stuff.

So on a day when your wife and your kids are like, your wife's like, All right, I'm going to take the kids, whatever you can have a day to yourself. You're in the room reading a book. What are you reading?

Right now, I'm reading a book called... I always read. I'll read five books at once and just jump back and forth between them. How do you do that, dude? I don't know.

Do you ever finish them?

I do. Sometimes, but not always. If a book loses me, I'll just fucking...

There's so many I have so many books that I just never finished. They sit on my desk. Dude, I read half of it, and then I get over it and I throw them away.

Yeah, that's fine. I like watch. Honestly, I used to be real prideful about, I have to finish this book. Now I'm like, Dude, there's zillions of books in the world. Yeah, too many books. I'm going to waste my time reading ones I don't like. Then if it really loses me, I'll be like, or I'll just chunk it by little by little. Read it over like two years.

Have you read a book twice?

I have, but it's like I've done it before.

This makes me sick for some reason when people I'm like, You're going to read it again, dude?

You do get a whole different thing from it, though. I'm sure. If you give it three years and read it again, you're like, Oh, shit. I wasn't even aware of what that part was about.

See, Alzheimer's and dementia runs in my family, and I have bad memory. So I'm prepping for that second half of my life when I'm just reintroduced to everything I used to like. So I'm just putting stuff in my office.

Just getting ready for it.

Yeah, just prepping. That's my doomsday prepping. If I see a movie, after five years, I can just watch it again.

I I forget most of the movie anyway.

Yeah, I feel the same way. My memory is atrocious.

That's like my whole mom's side is Alzheimer's. It's like claims everybody.

Hell, are you Irish?

Yeah. Yeah. God bless. Our Irish brains are built for like 45 years maximum.

Dude, these people I think we read it on Bad one time that when whiskey was invented in Ireland, for 200 or 300 years later, they invented nothing else. Yeah. Nothing else. And then the thing they invented 200 years later was road bowling. Is that right? Road bowling? Yeah.

Whisky was invented in the 14th century, and then road bowling was in the 17th century.

That's just a gap on that. That's amazing, dude. They were like, We're just going to take some time to just drink and talk and hang out, sing songs and shit.

Compile, yeah.

Compile the three songs. Yeah, but no writing, no leaps of technology, no social and cultural growth. Nothing.

They were just It was just the poets of Ireland and bars.

But half of the poetry from the 15th century, they don't know where it is. It's nonexistent. They can't even find it. These guys weren't even good at saving the shit they made for 200 years.

It was just they had an oral tradition. They just talked.

I know. That is what's amazing that you go there, you hear these limericks and stories and all that stuff. Have you been to Ireland?

Once when I was 14.

You'll sit in a bar. We just went again. I've gone a few times. And you'll just sit in a local bar and they do this thing where they will chat up stories, and you'll You can barely make out what the fuck they're saying. It's unbelievably tough to hear. Then you'll know other people have heard this before, and you're like, oh, my God, this has been circulating in this fucking town for hundreds of years.

They just take turns. Yeah, it's crazy. They just take turns doing the great heroes.

It's great, dude.

Yeah, there was a guy... Fuck, who was the guy who wrote Angela's Ashes? It was Frank McCourt. Mccourt. Yeah, Frank McCourt or whatever. He didn't publish that book until he was 55, by the way. Really? Yeah, he was just a teacher. He taught it like Stivest in high school. Eventually, when he was 55, he retired and he was like, I guess I'll write this book. He wrote it, Pulitzer Prize. That's amazing. Yeah, he just wrote a memo. He wrote two memoirs, but he talks about that a lot about growing up in Ireland and just like, dude, just rip in just stories about the great heroes. Cacoolan was the great Irish hero. You're like, Dad would get drunk and just sing about the Irish heroes, and you'd be like, Fuck, that's the rule. Then he would just leave their family. As he's singing when he goes out the door, what a beautiful memory.

And the heroes are Just off in the fucking hills.

You're like, Dan, that guy ruled. I wonder where he is.

Yeah, where is my dad now? Your parents are still together, right? You grew up in a solid home. Yeah.

What a good guy, dude. Irish Catholic, six kids.

But do they stay together for the kids, or you think they're still in love?

My dad was pretty... He would always just be like, Dude, we can't. There's nothing we can do. We have six kids. What am I going to date somebody with six kids? He's like... I can't. He's pumped on it, though. He's always said, he's like, If it wasn't for your mom, I'd be dead, which is, I think, true. Probably true, yeah. Health-wise, that was absolutely true. But for them, I think it was just like, I don't know. It was just like, Dude, we have six kids. Now they're in their middle, late '60s, but it's like, Yeah, he's like, What am I going to get divorced and get a girlfriend? He's like, I have six children.

It's such a loser look, too. Yeah. The guy who gets that girlfriend at like, 68.

Exactly. Just kill yourself, dude. It's over then. It is funny because she still tortures them all day long. She's like, We got to cut the grass. It's like, Dude, you guys just get someone to cut the grass. Yeah. They'll stay all day together and cut thorns off a fence.

My parents do that shit, too. It's weird.

Yeah, what for? It's kink. I think it's kink.

It's kink, dude. That's how they get off now. Complaining.

They'll put in an eight-hour landscaping day at like, 65 in the fucking rain. That shit is hot. It's crazy. That's hot as fuck. It is hot. Calm down, just pass out.

An erotic novel about just fighting in the yard all day. Every time my dad, he's so stubborn, I always tell him to... There's kids in the neighborhood when it snows to just that'll come around and do your driveway and shit?

No. Yeah, it's not happening. It's not even money.

It's not like they're tight. You can't afford anything. No, dude, it's like he's fine. It's like, Pay that kid to shovel your shit and come every day and clean up. There's ice. When I see my I had running down the driveway, the icy ass driveway. I'm like, this is how it ends. You slip, you bust your head open, and mom finds you four hours later. They don't care. No.

They don't care. He won't retire. He's still working. What does he do? Demolition. Oh, that's right. He's like, We're going to carry these buckets of stone up a... I'm like, What the fuck are you doing? You have Guatemala guys working with you. It's like, have them. Don't do it. They're happy to do it. He's right behind them just like, fuck, this He's just breaking my ass. I'm like, Dude, you're 65. Yeah, give it up. Knock it off. But his big thing, that's how he's always been. He's like, Dude, I love going to work. I love getting the hell out of here. He's like, Every time I can get out of here, I want to get out of here. He's just telling me not to have kids. He's like, Don't have kids.

Should You fucked that up.

Yeah. Are you going to do that again or no?

Two and done?

I'm done. But my wife wants one more.

Three is a cool number.

Three is cool, but it's like, dude, it's so much work. It's like you want to reset. We're finally getting out of diapers. It's like, you want to reset the clock?

Go back to diapers again. Just shit everywhere.

It's for real. My oldest is four, but it's like the first three years, you have to sit there and watch them intensively. And it's like, Resetting. Again, just imagine three years, you're just done doing a job. Doing it again. It's like 90 hours a week, and you're like, All right, I'm done this. Let's start it over. It's like, why?

But if she can handle it, you can handle it.

Yeah, I'll be fine with that.

If she's like, We'll do it.

You can't not give... If a woman wants a child and you refuse her, you're dealing with the female animal at that point.

They stone you in the streets, right? That's sacrifice, town sacrifice.

It's weak. It's weak to be like, if a woman wants a child and she wants to be pregnant and you're like, no, I'm not going to let you do that, she'll hate you. Yeah, that's it. Because that's like their animal instinct to get pregnant again. If you're blocking that, it'll just be terrible.

You got to give it to them. A lot of my friends now, they're all snipped. A lot of guys I know that they had one or two and they're done. I won't get snipped ever. Yeah, see, I'm scared of the idea of it for some reason.

I am too, man.

I don't know why I'm a pussy about it, but I know it's just I don't want it. I don't want to cut my nuts.

I don't know where it goes. It's like, that's my life force. That's my semen moving through my body. I don't want to divert that cycle. And I always tell my wife, it keeps me honest. Right. I got to be locked and loaded. I can't be out of fire in blanks, dude.

It keeps you real. Then you know you're Well, you know it's so funny. When I was young, my gun was strong. You could shoot really far. Yeah. No, it's not the same at the range. You know what I mean? It's not at all. It's a bummer.

Remember, my friend is I think he's 42, maybe, and he was telling me about it because he was in his late 30s, and I was in my whatever, my late 20s, whatever it was, or early 30s. And he was like, Yeah, dude, you're not going to be just like, ripping him over your shoulder. I was like, speak for yourself. Now, at 38, you get like the weak volcano and you're like, fuck. Oh, no.

Yeah, it just makes it there.

I can still rip every now and again, but not like...

I used to go over the head back and forth. Oh, man, I used to measure it. I was like, This is incredible, dude. You know how you mark on the wall your height as you get older? I wanted to mark the distance on the floor. I used to love that. But now, no, dude, now it feels like when we were on the road and when you're going up a hill, look, dude, I'm 200 pounds. Like, at a certain weight, those scooters, those lime scooters, you hit a hill and those things are like, and they're letting you know. You're not. This is for teenagers.

I'll push. I have no pride. I'll have to. I'll have to.

I'll have to get off. Yeah, It's like I'm on a skateboard again. But it makes me sad. That's what it feels like. My shots. It's barely getting there, but I can hear it dying. It's actually embarrassing as fuck when we were on those things. And Bobby is Bobby's tiny. He's a short guy. So he's round, but he doesn't weigh much. Really? Yeah, it looks like it, but he really doesn't because he's small. So he's probably, what is he? 5'6? Isn't that what he said? 5'6 or something? No, he's like 5'3. 5'4. Is he really? Yeah, he's tiny.

His shape is very dynamic as well. He's caught in the air.

We're thinking about putting carbon fiber on him so he can move faster through the day.

I thought it sucks. Yours was chugging up the hill, and he was just- He flew, dude.

He absolutely flew up the hill. He had no problem whatsoever. And He's on one now because he's on... No, he's on the one... It's on Wegovy. He's on...

One of the other ones.

Yeah, he's on the alternative because the Ozempic made him crazy sick.

Really?

He was crazy sick. Well, dude, we posted about it. We were shooting a promo video, and he vomited. I'll show you the video. I mean, dude, it's comical. He vomits legitimately for a full 30 seconds. It keeps coming up. It's crazy, dude. It looks like a horror film. It looks fake. And then after that, he was like, I can't do this anymore. I was like, good, because I don't want him to be on. I didn't want him to be on it. We talked about health shit right before this. I was like, dude, the more pills, the more stuff you're injecting, it gets me shaky. I'm like, dude, just try your best in your regular life to just get a little bit of exercise, eat a little bit better, try to level yourself out naturally. He's like, fuck that.

Yeah, let me just take the- Grab the pen, dude. I feel like that's a big difference between... I'm like, I want to try everything I can the natural way. Me too. That's just how I am. But I know people who are like, fuck that, bam, bam, pill, and they're out the door. And it's like, I just get freaked out about that.

Yeah. Maybe I'm a little bit of a pussy. I've had a back issue for years, and I go through these cycles of I beat it, and then it flares up, and then it gets bad again, then I beat it. But every time I've had a ton of people just go get But go get surgery. Yeah.

God, I can't. I can't do it. I just can't do it.

I don't know. I'm going to try to keep fighting it until...

Back pain is emotional. My back is fucked up. I get sad.

Oh, dude, I am. It sucks.

I'm the most depressed. I'm the most depressed. I'm such a piece of shit. My fucking back hurts. My leg or knee hurts. I'm like, whatever. Whenever I had back pain, I don't know what the fuck it does to you, but I just get so sad.

Yeah, I think it's... Well, it's also your central nervous system. Everything is attached through your spinal column. So it does Not only does it cause physical pain in other places that they say are partially mental, but then it does get in your brain. You think, this means I'm breaking down. This means I will die sooner. This means I won't be as active or useful. It does the animal thing where you're like, oh, you have to go in the woods and die alone. You should go lay down alone under the trees. It's time to go.

It really does. You try to pick up a bag of ice and you're like, oh, I'm going to kill myself.

And then your wife is being sweet and she's like, Babe, you're like, Just come on. Don't. I don't want to be that. I'm already embarrassed. I don't want to be embarrassed twice.

Well, the back pain is weird because if your knee hurts, you got to rest it. You can't rest your back. It's like the opposite. You have to work through it and then make your... I don't know what it is.

I I did physical therapy. I did sports therapy, and then I did physical therapy, and now I still do physical therapy. Then I'd go to these stretch lab classes.

How do you like the stretch lab?

I fucking love it. Is it nice? Dude, I love it. I got this fucking young, good-looking fucking A half-Asian kid who's just a gorgeous dude. He's jacked as fuck, and he just folds me up in these fucking positions. He makes me try to be more of a man. Do you know what I mean? Where I'm like... Because he's such a tough...

I'm trying to follow this. I'm like, he's just a hot, beautiful Asian man.

He's a hot, beautiful Asian man.

That I could see. I could see wanting to get... If I wanted to get limber for one person, it would be a beautiful Asian man.

Yeah, who else?

That makes sense. Now I see what you're saying. I see exactly what you're saying.

But he's such a tough dude that I don't want to puss out in front of him. So when he stretches me, I'll just go with it.

Dude, it's such a hard pulse. But no, I totally agree. I'm going to be mature about this.

No, don't, don't, don't. Go the other way.

He stretches me out, dude. I just wanted to please him. No, but I would feel ashamed if there was one group of people watching me be inflexible. If it was a beautiful Asian man, I'd be like, fuck.

That's the one.

Yeah, because if it's a white guy, I'm like, Yeah, we're both inflexible. And it's just we're like, Fuck, our necks hurt.

White guys have There's no flexibility whatsoever. I know.

It's a bit of a thing.

We're the stiffest of the breed.

We're the stiffest. We're the stiffest of the breeds.

The Asians, if we know anything about them, these cats are flexible. He just does it. He'll push me to a place where he'll go, This hurts. I'm sure this hurts, and I'm in fucking crazy pain. Really? But he's just like, just let it hurt. It's okay. You'll get through it. And then when I'm done, I feel like I achieved something. I beat the pain. It's almost like I don't have tattoos. My When they get tattoos in places that they tell me it's so sensitive, it's almost like, I'm going to beat the pain. 100 %, I'll beat the pain.

That is tight to be like, Have you ever tried the stretch lab, pussy? Yeah. Stretching rules, man. I want to get... I I let myself get super tight. I'm trying to get flexible. I've heard that every day as you get older, there's like, I don't know if it's fascia or something just tightens more and tightens more, and you have to break that stuff up every day or else you just become shriveled up.

Well, look at our parents. I mean, I see how my dad walks around the house, it bums me out. I grew up playing sports with my dad. My dad was our basketball coach, and my dad loved to hoop. Then at some point, he was like, I can't. They get old.

One day you see them and you're like, They just her hunched. When the fuck did you become old?

When you left, that's when I got... It's like when we left the house, that's when their body just withered away.

That makes sense, though, to finally just be like, I would love to let my back curl forward. Just be I'm done.

Yeah, well, you'll have this experience, right? When your kids get old enough, you'll get to let go at some point when they're old enough.

They probably do just stop for six weeks and just sit there like... Dude, having kids is like nonstop bullshit.

Constant.

Dude.

Do you travel with your family or no?

Not always. If I have a lot of shows back to back, then I'll bring them out. I try to keep them in the same time zone because it just wax them out. So I do it every now and again, but it's a lot, dude. I'm out doing I go to 12:00, get back. My kids here from the time zone wake up at 6:00 AM. So they wake me up.

So I'm like- You're on no sleep?

Yeah, very little. I'll crush a nap later today.

But tonight you'll get good sleep because you're solo before you go home.

Dude, it's crazy to the free time you have before you have kids. You don't realize it until you lose all of it. Then I get a hotel to myself doing stand up, and it's heaven.

What's that day like at the hotel by yourself?

I mean, obviously, it's drop the bags and beat off. 100 %, yeah. As you You dropped the bags. I'm salivating.

You look right at the bed and you're like, get over here.

Just on top of the covers. Yeah, it's that, obviously. I have this whole fantasy where I'll make it through a whole weekend without beating off. It's impossible. It is. It's truly impossible. And it's like, I'm going to stop. Because I really was giving myself a hard time about it. I'm like, dude, you should be able to do this.

Wait, why? What's the point?

What's this? I don't know. It's just a mental challenge. It's like, I don't need to do that. You do. But I'm like, I do. Exactly. You literally do. I do.

Yeah, your biology makes you. It does. It has to go away and get out.

It has to. You got to get that out as soon as you get in the hotel. Because you don't want to be rolling around. I went through this whole thing where, dude, when noFAP came out, I bought in. I'm like, this is a cool idea. It's a bad idea. You can't not come. Everyone thinks you can just hold it in for 200 days.

No.

It altars your person. I've only made it, I think, nine days. But I know people who did 90 days. I know one guy, I think you did 200 something.

200 days?

Yeah, dude.

But there has to be some regression. Something happens chemically, right? There's got to be something that happens in a chemical way that affects your brain negatively to not come.

I would think so because I've only made it... Well, they say at first, they do say people get clarity because I think like your testosterone raises.

Yeah, like that Seinfeld episode, when you get George is a genius because he hasn't jerked off. You know that? That was great. Where they tried to hold out to see.

That is hilarious.

They made a bet to see who could hold out to see how long they'd come. And George was like, his mental clarity was like, through the roof because he wasn't trying to fuck. What is it? Is there any regression?

I feel like- You become weird. I do think you become weird. Well, weird.

So it starts with you become stronger in your own self-conviction, and then you get a little agitated. You probably get a little socially uncomfortable because you're annoyed, and then you get into building bombs in the woods.

Yeah, I think there's a- You get into the ladder drop. It's all individual, but it says, yeah, it just leads to feelings of frustration, anxiety, or guilt.

See, I bet you that's what I mean. I bet you the anxious, depressive, those chemicals are spiked through the roof because your body has to think I'm either dying or this is like something's wrong. So then it's just an internal self-spiral of the world is against me and I'm on a phone.

From my experience, again, I've I'd only make it like-9 days is nothing.9.

Days, for me, that was crazy. But I can do a week. I can do a full week.

Yeah. Now, I did this years ago, too. Now, I could do a week easy. But this was like years. It was like my late 20s. Oh, no, that's insane. Dude, nine days, I would My heart would be pounding really hard. It was crazy.

Like, dude, my teeth hurt for some reason. I don't know what the fuck is going on, dude. I'm really confused.

I know a dude who did... My friend Egan did, I think it was like 260, something crazy. Wow.

In his 20s or in his 30s?

In his 20s, he's like a The younger guy. But at one point, you're just building up a bigger nut. You know what I'm saying? I'm being chased and pure. I was like, No, you're not. It's a fetish. You're building up the ultimate nut. And I think he was saying he walked by a wishy-washy and just on instinct walked in, got jerkt. He was like, why did I... This is defeated the whole purpose. He just geisered in a wishy-washy.

But that's probably exactly where it should end. That is the finish line.

You do got to take it to a professional. If you're like 290 days in, yeah, you got to-You don't want an amateur to fucking do that. No, dude, I've talked to people, it hurts when you hold it in that long. Oh, for sure. I know people who have done that without warning and had a girl there with just unleash it, and the girl was like, What the fuck was this? They just touch you and you're like, Oh.

Put it away, dude. That's dangerous at some point.

It was a thing. I was like, Maybe this is the answer. I'm like, It's not the answer. No, you can't hold that. You cannot negate your base instincts. They'll completely take over.

So once you clean the pipes in the hotel, are you sitting and reading by yourself now before you do shows? Do you work out? Do you go out?

I have my good days and bad days. A good day, yes. I'll work out or I'll hit a nap. Usually when I get there, it's usually a FAP nap. I'll FAP nap.

Love a FAP nap.

Beautiful. Then if I have time, I work out. That's like, ideally, a lot of the times I will just stare at my phone and watch guys in grocery stores making black guys freak out. Do you ever see those videos? I think he's in the south side of Chicago. Just just handing black guys rainbow stickers with their purchases, and they just go ballistic. There's a guy- There's hours of it.

I can't stop watching. There's a dude in a gas station. There's a dude that trolls in a gas station that's in the hood, and he's like, Okay, beautiful.

Yes, that guy.

He's like, What the fuck You say, but he's behind nine layers of bulletproof glass. It's amazing.

Dude, now he's out of the glass now.

See, that guy's a lunatic. Get back. It's the same guy. I think we're thinking the same guy.

He's out of the box. He's attaching rainbow balloons to people's backs while they're not looking. But he does have a black guy working him now. Oh, you're good then. Yeah. Also, he boxed a guy, too. Oh, he did? He came out from behind the glass and was like, I got boxing gloves. Let's settle it. He's like, Whoop the guy's ass. Fuck. He's got to stop. It's not worth the views.

He's 100% going to get killed. But also, the clicks are great right now, dude. Keep it rolling, man.

Dude, it's so funny to say they're getting a 40-year-old black guy with a pink lighter and having them be like, What the fuck? Hell no. They all smashed the chips and walk. It's pretty great.

What's interesting about that dynamic that I always see when he's fucking with these guys, that they don't just steal the shit from him.

Some do. Some snag seven funniests.

Because I've seen him like he goes to handback changes. I've seen he tries to rub their hands and they fucking lose it, dude. When he touches their hands, they're like, No, no, no, no. Dude, Their whole world collapses for a moment. Their entire masculine identity is like, No, no way. No guys are supposed to touch my fucking hands, dude.

Dude, it's so unbelievable. Those are great videos. Dude, the reaction is for real. Because if you took like a 60, like our dad's, if he did as my dad, he'd be like, what the fuck? He'd be almost as mad, but it's not even- He doesn't know how to get there anymore because dads are so shocked that something so dumb would happen to them. That they're like, What? There's another guy. This This is my favorite content. There's another guy called Everyone Loves Juan, and he goes around Walmart and let's go to old men and be like, Hey, beautiful. And they'll be like, What? And they get like, dude, their souls leave their body for a second. They're just like, get the hell out of here. And they get flustered.

It's really funny. I think I've seen one of these, though, where he'll sometimes say it enough to where a guy almost flips where he's like, All right. The guy is like, Have a good day. And he's like, Okay. They don't know how to receive it.

They get shy. They get like, weirdly shy boyish. They're like, What the fuck?

There's one. We were watching that video. He goes up to cops because you know how these civil warriors now, they go around and they record. I watch these guys. They record just a bit. I'm in a public space. I'm in a public space and you can't tell me to get out. This guy's so annoying. I love him, dude. He's like, Get your fucking supervisor. Get your fucking super... Look at how dumb you look right now. The cops are so fucking mad. The whole time, they're like, Dude, I want to beat this guy so bad. I want to beat the living. And there's a dude now who took that in a more clever way. He goes up to cops, he goes, name and badge number. And it was like, Dias, 4862. And he's like, Good girl. Have you seen that guy? No.

It's so good.

Rickody, right? We were dying. He goes, That's a good girl. And the cop goes, What? And he goes, That's a good girl. And the cop is so confused that he smiles a little bit. He's like, What? It's so good. That's where the corners of the internet are just so delicious.

They're unbeatable. Do you ever get when people pull cops over as citizens? They're like, I can legally pull you over. You must stop and answer. It's the same thing. Badge number, the cop's like, You're not pulling me over. I'll pull you over. It's so funny.

Those guys, these civil... What are they called? They're I don't know. There's a name for them. They're like these civil vigilantes or whatever. But there's a collection of them now, and they all post the exact same content. They go to any government building because it's public access. And the records are public access, which, of course, I'm glad it is public, but none of us would ever use that. It's one of those things where you're like, Why would I need it? I'm not building a case.

It's like, Show me the deed of my neighbor's property. They're like, What are you doing?

I want to see the line. I'd like to see I'm on the line now. We do that in high school and look at what our teachers had, conviction-wise.

You can find all that online. Really?

See, but this is a generation that he's 25. That's nice.

I like Coke, other stuff.

But you're young. See, for us, that's so… It's funny because our teachers… The only time we ever heard about a teacher getting clipped for something was years after we graduated. Exactly. My buddy's... My buddy's, his ex-girlfriend's dad, his girlfriend in high school, he taught at the school. He was a shop teacher. He was either shop or he was... Yeah, no, he was a shop teacher. Years later, we saw in the paper, he got busted for a prostitution ring. He was organizing young... Oh, he was running it.

He was running it. I thought he was just like, John and out in his car. No, no, no. They used to put that in the papers. He was usually in on the game.

But he would literally... He had a ring of 20 something-year-old prostitutes. What? Yeah, it was incredible because you see this guy and you're like, No, Wait, he was pimping. He was pimping, dude. The shop teacher was a pimp, dude. What? You would have never guessed. He was a nerdy little short guy, glasses, just an automotive genius. I could hand build an engine, super smart, quiet. What the fuck? You're like, if anything, they're going to find stuff on his hard drive. You didn't think he would be a... Yeah. You know what I mean? You're like, he's an internal creep.

He's not an extra creep. That's also a very specific function in the underworld. It takes a real specific dude to manage a bunch of prostitutes.

Yeah, Marvel reached out. They want to make him a villain for their next movie. They're like, Dude, this is Perfect.

Automotive creep. That's strong, too. That's a strong pimp hand to have a shop teacher all day just tinkering on gears and just being like, Bitch. These kids are stressing me out enough. I don't need you fucking around.

That is the next DC Marvel universe of They're going to run out of spin, so it'll just be real stories that they can just make animated in this shop teacher who's a pimp. He's got strong hands.

That's a great story, though.

In and out of the shop. For sure, Pimp came strong. It's got oil dripping down his hand. Yeah, it's a wild story. But those things we heard, like little creepy, like a teacher got in trouble for whatever. Nothing illegal and discussed. You know what I mean? Nothing like kids stuff.

It was always like- You always assume it's like they're molesting kids. Pimping, it's like, all right. It's tight. I can work with that.

Yeah, it's legal. Let him do it, dude. He's just organizing. He's running a business.

So he might have just been deep in the hooker game and then started being the plug for all of his friends.

100%. You know what it was? He obviously knew a girl, right? Yes. He obviously had one girl. It's Bottom Bitch. Bottom Bitch. Bottom Bitch main bitch. And she had a couple of friends that were like, Hey, didn't you and any of your lonely 50 something old friends need some company, and he's like, Yeah, dude, my wife is dead. I'm sad as fuck. For sure, yeah. Go get some of your friends for some of my lame friends. We're making 24 grand a year, and we will spend all of it on you. It'll all go to you guys.

That's a good book to read, Iceberg Slim's Autobiography.

Someone else had said this. Dude, it is. Someone said this to us.

It's amazing. Because especially back, I think that was, I don't know when it was, maybe the '50s or '60s. Pimping is a real weird thing to get into because you have to find women that are just in horrible circumstances. And then you just completely maliciously abuse them into having sex with strangers and giving you all of the money.

Giving you the money thing is the strangest thing. All of it. Well, it's a power play of such trauma from these poor girls. Whatever just awful fucked up shit happened to them, this feels safer.

Exactly. That's crazy. And you capitalize, and you're always stand at bus stops and just trying to find a young girl with bags and all the pimps swarmer.

Yeah, because she's moving to town or something like that.

You want to get in her head and be like, Look, I got you. I love you. I love you so much. And then you just slowly pimp her out and just get her addicted to drugs. So dark. Dude, it's for real. The evil is- That's so dark. Pimps are like, people think it's cool. They wear cool suits, and they might be the malicious criminals. Right. Dude, he had this thing where... So he had his bottom bitch was like, she's down with him forever. And she wasn't... A lot of times, your bitches will get lazy. So as a pimp, you got to figure out what you're going to do. Dude, he started Western. He would have the money from her, and then Western Union it to himself, pretending it was coming from another girl and being like, this shit's killing you. You're not shit. He would like, beat her with a coat hangar. It was fucked up. Then they'll come out and be like, let me tell you something about it. It's like, dude, you're the worst guy. The worst guy, dude. But it was a crazy trick to be sending money that was hers, and you would just save up two weeks worth and be like, damn, look at these other bitches getting me.

You're worthless. Then she got off her lazy ass and started going hard.

Then these hoes got up.

That's called a chili pimp. If you have one hoe, that's a chili pimp. Chilly pimp? Chilly Pimp? Chilly Pimp. They're like bottom of the barrel pips.

Nobody respects a chili pimp. What's top pimp? What do they call it? Do they all have names?

I think you're just a certified player at that point. You're just a cold as hell. You're a CP. Yeah, you're a CP. You're a certified player. You got seven or eight bitches.

I I would love moving up the ranks of the pimping game. That's like in the comedy game. You're like an open mic. Chilly Pimp is an open mic.

It's like that, dude, because then you have the elder pimps that they'll give you game, but they're always trying to take you out. Pimps love seeing other pimps fall. It was crazy.

It's just like stand up. It's exactly like stand up. It is. The elder pimps are always talking shit about, and they can't believe when a chili pimp is at their level at some point, you're like, How did that dude fucking move up?

They hate to see a young pimp rise. They'll keep you down. They will keep you down. They want you opening for them.

That is great to think of a pimp lower on the ladder opens for a bigger pimp. He just warms up his hose for him.

They'll steal your hose. They'll take you into the fold and be like, I care about you, and then they'll poison your hose against you.

I need to read this book, Icebreak Sloom's fucking book.

It So it's like a terrible topic, but it is for real.

When someone has these fantasy lives that actually were real, you have to indulge because you're so far away from something so chaotic that you're like, I have to know what that's like because it's so fucking foreign. I said on the other show, one of my favorite books that I've finally finished again, I keep doing to go back to, was Warren Zevon's book, his wife wrote, and I've suggested it a million times. I think it's brilliant. You know this guy, Warren Zevon?

I know who he is. His wife wrote a book? Yeah.

He wrote a book about his entire life because he lived such a dark tumultuous life. It was just so awful.

That guy ruled. I saw a thing of him on a talk show where he just had terminal cancer and he just never went to the doctor. Letterman. Yeah, he was just like, yeah.

Letterman loved him to death. He was one of his favorite artists. I think, look, it was a sad, awful life. He was a constant addict, and he did that thing where he would get it out of addiction, feel clean, and then jump right back in. Then in this weird... But here's the worst part. I mean, the best part, the worst part. Every time he went through one of these terrible jaunts of just disappearing, he would make a killer fucking song. Damn, that's awesome. That's so cool. He would just put out a fucking banger, dude. He would disappear. He would go get so fucking wrecked and then find himself in Bogotá. You know what I mean? He'd find himself in a different country or a different... He would find himself in these situations where he would just move somewhere and disappear. Then he would write an incredible fucking record. Then the labels back then because they put up with everything. Nowadays, a label would be like, You're fired, dude. Fuck you. But they would just keep sending money to be like, Look, dude, he did just send us a fucking incredible song. Then they would think, Okay, he's He's going to do it.

And then he's like, Nah.Later.And he would just disappear again, dude. It was awesome. It was just the fantasy of that, though. I don't think could happen in this day and age, again, because I think just labels and corporate, they wouldn't put up with it anymore. But for some reason back then, they were just like, I guess we'll keep trying with this guy.

Yeah. Also, too, you could keep way more stuff under the rug back then, too.

Yeah, no one knew.

Now it's like, I saw this guy. You have a video of him. He's just like, he's just in Honduras, like, You're fucked here. You're pressing. Like, oh, that's shitty.

Just yelling out racial slurs at people at the beach. You're like, dude, come on, man. Just make an album.

I mean, Kanye was as big as you can get. You would think you could ignore all the stuff he was doing. He went full bore.

Well, dude, you said all the stuff that we were all thinking. That's really what it is, dude.

Yeah, that was one of the most entertaining things to watch. To see someone at the height of just... I mean, it's like he was as big as a celebrity can get.

We will look back on that as a as probably one of the most beautiful ascensions and explosions into this cultural zeitgeist of chaos. He'll be forever remembered as one of the greatest artists of all time who had this mental break or whatever you want to call it, but it will never invalidate all the stuff he did. I don't know.

Yeah, for sure.

It's almost like the break was beautiful. It was supposed to happen. It was. Where was he supposed to go? Do you know what I mean? You got so big I guess, where else do you go other than, I need to prophesy until you guys martyr my existence. It's crazy, dude. It is crazy. He did level himself as this otherworldly creature now. He's superhuman.

Yeah, he is. It was funny, too, because I feel like anyone who does entertainment has that fantasy of I really love to get a moment where the whole world's watching me. I'm giving an Emmy speech, and I have this beautiful speech plan in my head, and he, for years, must have been like, I got to tell everyone I love Hitler. He just got to the point where he got the platform up, and he was like, Guys, I just love him. I can't help. I can't keep it in.

I just have to tell you the truth.

I just love Hitler. I was like, What the fuck? In here, we pour whiskey.

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Ginger. I like ginger.

It is incredible because you see him now and he doesn't have the attention that he used to get. I think he still thinks he could garner that attention, but it just doesn't happen anymore. It's really sad to watch. He'll go out with his girlfriend in Malibu or whatever, and she's naked Have you ever seen pictures?

Dude, it's my favorite section of the news is what his wife's wearing and him just getting blow jobs on boats. It's amazing. Plumber's crack sitting on his side. It's amazing. I keep wondering who's writing the... Who keeps following her? His wife's naked again. We see her nipples and it's like, sweet. Sweet. Thanks for the pic. Post it.

Yeah, post it. But you know that's got to be the part of the conversation when they leave the house. I imagine she's so conscious of this thing now becoming news every day. She has to keep upping her game. I know. She has to continue to have these new outfits that are not suggestive. They're just naked, but they're sheer. It's everything is sheer.

Yeah, it's crazy. She is just naked. She's under a veil. She's going to eventually have to take a dump on the sidewalk. Everybody's like, Oh, she's still doing big things. This is awesome.

Rock 'n' roll, dude. She's throwing poop. Have you seen she's throwing poop at people? At fans?

It is funny because I don't think he's drawing the same attention as before. But it's like, dude, there's One Hit Wonders for the '90s. If you talk to them, they're still like, Bro, we're still in this celebrity life. No one cares. So it is a thing. I think if you do ascend to that level, I think it's hard to just feel like, Oh, I'm a regular guy again.

No, it's over. You lost the thing. Well, it's funny to think the parallels of what we do. Comedy goes to these waves of getting bigger than itself, which I think we're there now a little bit.

Yeah, for sure.

I mean, it's too big. It's bigger than it.

A nice bust would be good. It's a hard bust.

It's coming. Because COVID did it the first time. And Burr walked into the green room. I've told this story before, but I'll never forget. Right before COVID, and it was like, every night was sold out everywhere. It was just incredible. There was a bunch of people that had come to the store that night, like Russell Peters, all these guys that drive, that have like Bentley's and Ferrari's or whatever. Kevin Hart was in whatever. And Burr walked in the green room and he's like, Do you see the fucking parking lot? Everyone's like, Well, he's like, dude, they're going to audit us. They're going to get us. It's too much fucking money. He was so offended and it was so true. He was like, dude, they're going to fucking get us. They're going to fucking come get us. This is ridiculous. And I go out there and it was, it was like a Ferrari, a... You know, Tim Dylan's fucking Rolls-Royce. I was like, oh, my God, this is such a bad look, dude. It just wasn't comedy at all. And then, sure enough, just the grace of coincidence, COVID it, and it just decimated the comedy boom thing.

And now, it's too big now.

Yeah, it's rising again. Yeah, it is. It is weird, man, because I was doing it just mostly open mics for the longest times. And I know there was booms. I started in 2008.

You started in '08. And then how long did you go until you stopped?

I always I would do it for four months, quit for two months, do it for nine months, quit for four months.

What was the quit because?

I would just be like, Fuck this. And I would just try to have a girlfriend and be like, I'm going to just get a normal job. And then I would try that and just quit immediately and go back to stand up. It sucks.

What were the normal jobs? Any of them fun or no?

I did a lot of construction jobs. That's like my whole family does that. And they were cool because you can still be a mutant and do construction like nobody gives a fuck. But I tried working in an office for, I think I made it three weeks. The more you do stand up and then try to get back in. I went to school for social work at one point. Got my masters in social work, and I would go to social work offices and talk to people, and they'd be like, Where the fuck are you? You become a freak. You do stand up, you really do. I'm always telling people, like comics. I'm like, Dude, stop romanticizing your life. You're just a normal person. But also you're Yeah. If you do stand up for a long time and try to sit in an office, it's just you say one thing and people are like, what the fuck? What are you doing?

We are normal people, but also I think there's nothing special. The What it is is your lens is unique. Yeah. You just have a different... Your lens is a little off compared to everybody else. For sure. So when you say it, people are like, I don't know the fuck you're talking about, but that's interesting that you say it that way.

Dude. And it's also I feel like... Because, again, I worked in an office twice, and one was an internship in college. I did, I think, three months. I remember I quit the internship early, and then the other one was three weeks. And it was like, dude, if you work in an office from 20 to Like 40. I really think it gives people brain damage, like low-grade. If you keep a dog in a kennel, it's like... I swear to God, it fucks people up. It does. Because they'll be like, oh. It's like you're in school forever. There's certain topics. Even if you bring them up, they'll be like, Oh, I don't know, man. That's a little crazy. Shut up. You're a pussy.

That's like everyone I grew up with, though. Back in the Midwest, it's like people and I go home, they've been relegated to... Which is a great job. A lot of them have great jobs, but they're When I do say stuff, it's almost like I've said something so out of bounds and fucked up. But you're like, I didn't say- It's not that bad. It's not that bad.

But to them, they're like, I can't believe you say that stuff. They're like, Oh, it's a little crazy. I would go in those offices and I was selling Adderall in the You're fucking shucking Atty on the side. It was nice. I was shucking Atty's, but it was like... It is nice because you can get in the role of the office grease man, where you can just start selling drugs and plugging people up to... Because that pressure is always building in an office.

I worked. I had a desk job when I first started out in comedy. One of the dudes who was a hero of mine, he was so rad. He was like, Dude, you should do what I do. He did deliveries for us. He was like a runner. That's nice. He was like, You should do deliveries, dude. He's like, Get the fuck out of the office. Because he was a creative. He was like an artist. He was a musician and an artist. He was like, Get out of here, dude. This is too confining. You want to be free. I was like, I should do what you do. He's like, Look, dude, it's a little bit of a pay cut, but I I get to come and go as I please. I drive all day, listen to tunes, I'm writing. I get to go have a coffee. I was like, That does sound rad. Then a month later, I found out he was just getting drunk on the job every day. I was like, Okay, dude, I'm going to stay in the office. Never mind. I'll stay at the desk. Because there was a piece of me that thought that much freedom would make me...

It was a little too unhinged because I was like, I need a little bit of organization during the day. Because then at night, I could go do stand up all night long. Because if I had his freedom, it's almost like, oh, dude, I'd be getting in so much. I'd be him. That's so funny. I would have started drinking on the job for sure.

Yeah, you're just getting hammered. When I did the internship, and it was a paid internship in college, they gave you a little bit of money. But dude, I would set my screen saver so that it never came on, and I would just leave the office for hours.

Nobody would know shit.

Just walk around. I didn't do anything. I had two bosses in different cities, and I would tell both of them that the other one had me doing stuff all day.

Yeah, he's got me on a run.

One guy was in Albuquerque, the other guy was in Kentucky, and they'd call me. I'd be like, Bro, the other guy's got me slammed. We'll hit me up next week. We'll We'll figure it out. I would just pit them against each other. It's so good. And just wander around the city.

They never communicated these two dudes.

I love that. I never. And I would go travel with both of them, and it was just like, I don't know. They never really... And I was doing like, bullshit stuff, too.

Yeah, but it's a lot... Almost everything is bullshit stuff.

That's the thing. That's what freaked me out. Then you go to the meetings and everyone's lying. Everyone's like, Yeah, I'm really getting the tires rolling on this side of this project. It's like, I'm standing and talking to you the whole time. We didn't do anything today.

I see what you do all day.

You don't do shit. The best is I got... There was There was a partner, a high up guy in this. It was like a real estate thing. They bought apartment complexes. The one guy left the firm. It was shady. I don't know what they were doing, but there was like something going on. The one guy left the firm. He was really high up. He was My other boss was like, I need you to go into his Gmail and delete anything with this subject matter. They had me just deleting records of whatever they told this guy. I was like, no problem. But I was in his email. Then we had to Google chat. So I was Google chatting my bosses as this super high up guy. I'd be like, Yo, what's up, guys? Like, Oh, my God. Hey, Mr. Marisa. I started talking to them and I was like, Yeah, I'm in a hotel right now just chilling by myself. Come chill. I started hitting on them through this boss. My direct boss just thought it was hilarious. I'm like, That's me. I'm fucking with you. They're like, Talk to this guy. They kept telling me to fuck with other people.

Then the main boss email me, all caps like, Do not use chat feature while in Marisa.

You're like, Dude, you're kidding me? I'm your cleanup guy. I'll do whatever the fuck I want. I'm covering up for your terrible crimes. I get to have That's fun, too.

I'm committing fraud right now with you guys. At least let me fuck around the chat. But I would hit guys up like, Yo, I got a bottle just by myself. I'm fucked up. Like, L-O-L. They'd be like, Okay. Yeah, it was so fun. That was the thing. It was like, That was the disciplinary action was a guy sending me an all-caps email, and I look at him. He's four offices next.

I could see him, and I'm like- This is the top guy?

Yeah, it's weird. He was like the legal... It was like the CEO. He would come in once a week, and he was a dickhead. But the legal guy was cool, but he was second in command. He ran the office.

It is funny how you find out, not all the time, but you find out a lot of times when you get in these corporate worlds, that you're like, wow, so many of these people get paid and they don't do anything. The way that office space did that so beautifully where he's like, what do you do here? And he can't explain it. I worked with enough people where I would be like, what is your gig? And they couldn't really tell you.

Yeah. The less you do, the more complicated your job title is. It's like, well, I'm actually an industry analysis specialist. And you're like, Okay, so what do you do?

Oh, an analysis specialist. Who do you communicate with? Well, a lot of my colleagues are actually a part. There's a group. I have two. There's two pods. They're always two. There's two teams. There's two pods. I oversee one of the pods. But what do you mean What do you do with the pod? Well, I mean, look, honestly, dude, you probably wouldn't even understand it if I explain it to you. It's that thing.

I'm a team. I'm a team leader. I'm a team leader. I'm a team leader.

I'm a team leader.

It's crazy, dude. Again, I didn't work in an office that long, but I didn't do anything.

No, No, you can get away with doing the absolute bare minimum, which we've talked about on this show. I'm a big proponent of that. If you are working somewhere, do the least amount of work you possibly can.

I'm also, as I get older I'm jealous of office life. When I was younger, I was like, fuck this. As I get older, I see a bunch of dudes out to lunch together.

That looks rad.

I'd be by myself. I'd be like, fuck, dude. That'd be so cool to be with my team right now. Yeah.

With my pod? Do me my pod getting Jimmy John? Are you kidding me, dude? I'm in. Take Take me, dude.

Take me in. I swear to God. I was just by myself all the time, and I would always just float around and just be up to weird stuff.

That's like my dad worked in an office for years, and the way he romanticizes about those moments, it is fun. There is something beautiful, but he would be like, that's when they all have nicknames. That's when Fatback and I used to go out and we'd fucking have a couple of beers at lunch.

Get hammered. Yeah.

He's like, Those were fun days, right?

That would be fun, dude. Getting a little drunk and going back to the office, that's when it does rule. Oh, Fuck, yeah, dude. It's like around the holiday season. Everyone's face is just bright red. Everyone's like, just looking at each other.

Yeah, my dad did a corporate job for his whole... He was working in an office his whole life, and that's why he was so promotional of me trying to do this thing. Because he got fired after like 30 years of loyalty to a company. That's bullshit, man. Yeah, dude. Turtle wax. Fuck turtle wax. Fuck turtle wax, dude. 100%, dude. They suck. We've talked about it so much. Don't ever buy that trash. Go buy any other. That's bullshit. Go buy mothers, go Maguires. Shout out to the fucking chemical guys. Dude, honestly, go buy all that other shit. Fuck turtle wax forever. Fuck turtle wax. They fired my old man after… Dude, such a loyal, committed guy to this company, and they just axed him. Then, I I saw a change in my father for the first time as a man came to me and was like, years later, they wanted to offer him his job back.

Total wax game crawling back?

Yeah, they did. Like, fucking little bitches. And he's like, What do you think? That was the first time my dad actually asked for my professional opinion about something I knew not. He just wanted as a... I don't know. It almost made me feel like, Oh, he respect me as a guy. Yeah, I know what you mean. He was like, What do you think? I was like, Tell him to go fuck themselves. He did, which was rad. But it is so fucked up that they toyed with him. They pimped my dad, dude. They were chilly pimping my dad.

That's fucked up. They're trying to get him back, dude. It's so fucked up, especially in that generation. Their huge goal in life was get a job.

Stay in that job.

Keep a job. My parents would always drill that into me. I'm like, Fuck that. I'm like, No. I'm going to quit a job. I can't wait to quit. I hate my job. But yeah, they all like, Dude, if you got a job, they were so happy just to have a steady job.

Because there was some, I don't know. You felt like that was an achievement. You got a good job. You kept it. You built a retirement. It meant something. But then they found out, that generation found out that these corporations, they didn't give a fuck about your ass. They cared about you so little, but they pretended really well for a long time. That scene in fucking... Christmas Vacation was such a... That is like my dad's whole career. When the boss was like, Yeah, we're going to fuck you. You're not getting a bonus. Fuck you. You know what I mean? That's my dad's whole career was like, Wait, what? You fucked me after all this? They gangled, yeah. Yeah, I thought. He's like, Yeah, dude, you thought. You're an idiot, dude. Fuck you. That's why my parents were very much like, Go ahead. Good luck. They weren't like, We'll catch you if you fall. But they were like, Go be free. You I might as well try.

That's how my dad was. He was like, You don't want to do construction. It sucks. Go work in the air conditioning. Get an office job. And then I was like, I'm not doing that. He's like, Yeah, I couldn't do that shit. But he was like... I was like, I'm going to do stand up. He's like, Yeah, who gives a fuck? Do it. They were cool about it. Very cool. My mom was a little a worrywart. She was always I'm going to be a teacher. And I was like, If all fails, yeah, I will.

You absolutely could still be a teacher.

I actually would like it. I swear to God, all these jobs now, I think I would like all of them.

But you know, it's like- You think you could teach at a university level?

No, I want to go like Dangerous Minds. I want to go like I want to go Inner City, turn the kids around, save the kids.

You are a little Michelle Fifer-y. I do see that in you, dude. I do see that. That's good. That movie was so fucking wild. Coolio. God bless. Rest in peace.

Oh, he's dead. I forgot. He died.

Was it last year? I feel like a year or so ago.

A year or two ago, Coolio died. What did he die from?

I don't know if you want to know.

Autorotic asphyxiation. It was a drug overdose.

It was a drug overdose, but it was one of those where they like...

That was a fat and all heroine and meth. Oh, he He was going nuts. 59.

59. You know what sucks about that, too, is you can tell when you read some of those stories that he struggled hard with addiction. It makes it more sad because I don't know what it is about celebrity public addiction. We ride this wave together. But when it's quiet addiction, you're like, it's so much more depressing.

Yeah, like Little Bow Wow was addicted to Promethazine for a while. Was he? Yeah, he just got fat. Little Bow Wow was just fat, addicted to Promethazine.

Little Bow Wow got fat on fucking Prometh, dude. That's wild.

Yeah, that is It's so right, though, when they're quiet. I didn't know Coolio was doing speedballs. Sucks, dude.

Quiet addiction makes me the most sad for some reason. I'm like, Oh, dude, let us know. Show it off a little bit, dude.

Yeah, exactly. Crash your car.

Like Whitney, dude, fucking blow it up, dude. That documentary was incredible. That does suck. The fact that her whole team was just like, We just can't control her. When Bobby got a hold of her, we watched it all burn. I know that's gross, but it's-It's satisfying. At least we get to know.

It's the same thing. We heard entire breach outside right now, we'd all go, and there's no crash, you're like, fuck's the point. It's a waste of my time. But yeah, there's something innately, at least spellbinding, of watching just somebody just crash.

Yeah, there's something about it.

Completely just go up into flames.

Yeah, the secret drug. That's like a guy that I love that I knew nothing about was Greg Graldo. And then hearing... I was such a fan from afar, and then hearing how he went back in and then died ride the first day he went back in.

You're like, fuck, dude. He was like an opiate guy, right? Yeah. That's what happens, man, because your tolerance drops, and then you try to do what you did before and you're done.

It's so funny on such a weak level. I realized that when I clean out, I'll stop drinking for three months, four months or whatever. Then when I go back, even then, I'm like, Holy fuck, dude. Good luck with H, dude. You're going to ride the horse after this, dude? I can't even... A couple of IPAs and I'm fucking mushmouth.

Dude, the heroin shit's crazy. I don't know. It's like I know people have done it and gotten off of it, but it's got to be impossible.

I've had a good buddy of mine. He met his wife when she was struggling to get off of it. Now she's clean and life is great, but it is funny because it changes your chemical makeup 100%. For sure. You are forever a different person. It doesn't matter how much you use. It's just the way you operate is different. It's like you rewired the machine a little bit when you do heroin. Everything else doesn't really do that, but heroin for sure does that. I don't know what that... That's why it's the best.

Yeah, man. From what I understand, it just really just... You feel like you're just wrapped in your mother's arms just sinking into oblivion.

Do it, dude. Let's do it, dude. Let's try once.

I will say, though, it affects certain people. I I taken Percasets, and I've actually drank permethazine myself. Really? Believe it or not, yeah, I used to sell permethazine, too. Unsuccessfully. When I bought it. Me and my friend were younger. We're like, Hell, yeah, dude, we caught Permethazine. My friend drank all of it and crashed his car into a hill. It was just What the fuck, dude? You owe me $180. You fucked me off. He just crashed in front of my parents house.

But if you're going to go out, dude, yeah, crash your car.

Yeah, but I'm taking Percasets. I didn't love them, man. I tried it, and I was like, I get it. You just get to float on a couch for a little bit. Yeah, you disappear. Imagine if you're laying on a couch and your body just lift it off like this much. You're like, it's comfortable as possible. It was pretty cool. It didn't grip me.

Yeah, no, I had vicodin. Vicodin is an opioid, right? Yeah. I had Vicodin when I tore a ligament in my leg playing basketball when I was 23 or something like that. And I ate those things like fucking TicTac, but it made me so much more anxious. My anxiety levels drove through the roof. I couldn't sleep at night. So I felt I would get ripped, but it wasn't like fun-ripped. And then I told the doctor, I was like, this isn't working even a little bit. He's like, dude, just take extra strength, fucking Advil or whatever. Because the pain wouldn't really go away. It wasn't like the pain was gone. It was like, I was just fucking song. I just couldn't speak for a little while. It was bad, though. I just didn't like it for some reason. That never got a hold of me in the way that like, well, dude, we talked about this last night, muscle relaxers, like Norco, Norco's and all that. Do you know those?

Yeah, I know people who love those.

Oh, my God. The girl I dated in college one time- Did you ever take him and go to the stretch lab? No.

That would be decent. Yeah, dude. Asian guy, I'm like, Oh, my God.

Dude, your legs are behind your head. No, dude, I I took them a few times in college. A girl I saw in college, she fucking loved him. Dude, I got that. That I got. That's the one where I was like, holy fuck, dude, this would be so easy to get addicted to 100%. In college, I didn't have a car or any of that stuff. And I had a skateboard and a bike, and I'd fucking skate around everywhere. Dude, I would be on a muscle relaxer, skating through campus. That's awesome. Dude, it was the best. You really were like, I'm flowing with the concrete. It's moving with me. It felt so free. But in retrospect, I thought there was a moment in time where I was on the edge of abusing. I was right on the edge of like... You know what I mean? Like a couple more weeks of it, I'd be like, oh, shit.

No, muscle relaxers were... And I just, for some who knows reason, I never liked pills. They were like, when I was in high school there, I'm sure it was the same with you. They're everywhere. They're everywhere, dude. Someone have their parents to be just prescribed everything. But muscle relaxers were the ones who'd be like, They couldn't get Xanis, they couldn't get perks. They'd be like, I got some muscle relaxers. I feel like, Sweet. It's a gob of You do.

And you walk around all day, real Jello like, this is fucking rad, dude.

It's mad. People did like them.

Yeah, the rating of somebody's cabinet in high school. Well, because in high school, I'm a little bit older, but we're the same age. High school, Molly, well, Extasy.

You had the E-bombs. They had just phased out. That was like my older brother, the Extasy was crazy. And then when I was in high school, it was just Percisette Xanax. That was like, Extasy was still there.

We had Extasy, but the perks were ripped. That was the one. And then you knew the couple of guys that could always get it. And that was in every single weekend. They were like, Dude, I will say, after you do XC once, you're like, I could do this all the fucking time. It wasn't like if you're at a party and someone offered a bump, some people would take it, some people wouldn't. But back then, if someone had ecstasy, they were like, Dude, do you want a pill? It's like, Dude, everybody wanted it. You're like, Give me these fucking things.

It's funny because a lot of them were cut with biker meth, and then you would just be up for three days.

Yeah, that's how three of my teeth are chipped, dude. Honestly, that was the scariest part in retrospect. The whole, you don't know what's in it. A hundred % didn't know what's in it. We had shit where you didn't even question it. But now that's the fucked up thing. Now, you get something, you don't know what's in it, you're fed and Yeah, you die. Fuck. No one I knew died when we were young. People get crazy sick. A couple of kids went to the hospital, but no die. Yeah. No die.

It was just speed. People are getting all sped out. Yeah, they were just too high. Whatever else was in there. I didn't do Molly until I was an adult, two years ago. Really? It was unbelievable.

It's the fucking... Did you do it with your wife? Yeah. Me and my wife did it. It was the best.

That was the best. It was unbelievable. It's real. I'm like, this is great. But yeah, in high school, I don't know what would have happened if I did that.

When your wife decided to do Molly together, was it like a take a little trip?

Yeah, it was We just got a hotel room for the day and just did Molly at 7:00 AM and just rode out the whole afternoon. We went to a PTA meeting, and I was telling her, I was like, we're not ready to go. She's like, I really want to go. I was like, I'll go with you. We just sat there the whole time.

I was like, It had worn off, but you're still like, there's that afterglow and you're like, God, the teacher was talking.

I'm like, She's doing such a good job. You're killing it, Ms. Markens.

You're fucking killing it. That's like mushrooms. When mushrooms is done, it's never really done. It still had that lag, the after effect.

That always got me. They come in waves. So like, mushrooms, when the first time I took a lot of them, I was like, Oh, I'm good to go. And I got in my truck and drove, and it was not over. I was on the road like, whoa. I drove for 20 minutes.

Oh, how? That's insane.

I had to pull over. Dude, I drove and I got to my friend's house, and I woke up the next morning and my truck was parked on the wrong side of his street, backwards somehow. I was like, holy shit. That's bad.

You made it, dude. I did. It was very scary. I took mushrooms on time. We were going to my buddy's Mike's house, and I kicked in faster than I thought. I pulled over four or five times. It wasn't even a far drive. He lived two miles from my buddy's house.

That's the one thing. I remember I told my guitar teacher at the I was like, I'm going to do mushrooms tonight. He was like, Don't drive.

I was like, I won't. You can't.

It's something about you actually can't drive. I was like, No, I won't. Then I drove and I was like, he wasn't fucking... I haven't done it in a long time. I thought it was being followed the whole time. The road was literally going like, I was just like, oh.

I haven't done them in a little while, but they are my favorite thing to do if I have enough time to kill. But you have to have enough time. That's the problem is I'm like, Got to clear the schedule because I don't want to have I have to go do a thing.

No. Or have your phone going all right. Realize you. Yeah, you need a whole day. Put away your phone.

When you're on any drug, put away your phone. The phone is like the scare. When we were in high school, it was like looking in the mirror if you're too high. They were like, Don't look in the mirror, ripped on mushrooms, and it'll fuck with your head. That's the phone now. Don't look at your phone when you're too high.

The internet, hitting social media and it's being like, What the fuck?

Now seeing AI videos of Martin Luther King saying wild shit. You're like, Whoa, dude, I don't need this right now.

I don't like the AI videos, man. They make me feel so creepy when I watch it. It's so uncomfortable, man. People love the AI shit. I'm like, I don't like it at all.

Somebody sent one to me, literally today, and it was Martin Luther King. It was a bit. It was an awful bit. You could figure it out. Yeah, for sure. You I figured out. But it was an awful bit. And as I'm staring at it, I thought, dude, imagine this guy's entire legacy to the youth is boiled down to saying racist shit.

I saw a post Twitter, X, whatever it's called, yesterday, and it was like a retweet of a lady put out a thing being like OnlyFans creator does Thanksgiving with her father, and the father berates her. I'm like, what the fuck? Then it was like community notes They're actually married. The man has been in jail for abusing women. I'm like, What is this? What the fuck is that? He also has rape accusation. I'm like, What does this post even mean? How did we get here? It's a fake. It's not her dad, but the guy is also her husband, but he's been beating women.

It's like- Community notes is really strange when they go, Let us tell you why this post is fake or otherwise. Then you read and you're like, Yeah, but how do I know that's legit?

Exactly.

Who's doing all this cross-reference?

I guess it's just the numbers. I don't know because it's Also, before, it just be like, Hey, don't talk badly about COVID. You're like, whatever. Now it's very specific and you're like, Wait, I don't want this to be in my awareness at all.

That is strange that they really got controlling over any jokes about COVID. Covid. You're like, This might not be a real thing. It flagged it. It's like, Show me anyway. I like what it does. I want to see. I like what it does. Show me anyway or whatever. What is it? Click next or show me anyway. I'm always like, Show. Now, I don't really go on Twitter anymore because it's a fuck it. There's nothing entertaining to me anymore. It's just a waste of space. But if I do open it up, my algorithm somehow... It's crazy, dude. Dude, it's insane. And it'll be like, remember Faces of Death? That's what my algorithm is now. It'll It'll be extreme accidents. It'll be a dude getting hit by a fucking truck. I'm like, What the fuck? How did I get here?

Dude, I've gotten one.

Elon's like, Give them the extreme accidents folder.

Then it'll just post a video of a flying car, and I'm like, What the fuck? Okay, dude. Mine are like, I'll get white MMA fighters Black dudes and beating them. Like, this is what a disciplined white male. I'm like, all right, that's enough of that. Why you said I have never gone into that in the algorithm. Why are you giving me this? Why are you trying to radicalize me?

Showing them what we're really made of. You're like, We? What the fuck? No, dude. Wait a minute.

Trying to see if anyone messaged me on Twitter. I don't need it.

Just trying to see how my flyer is doing online.

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Yeah, but then I thought, Man, that's so obvious media manipulation to keep saying Cybertruck crashed with three teenagers. What would be the difference if it was a fucking Civic? If the cyber truck failed and it caused it, I understand clearly that's why you'd bring it up in the article. But all it was was they were speeding. So you're like, Oh, dude, this is you. That's what I don't like is when you're like, This is you just trolling Tesla. That's all you're being like, See? See what happens when Elon fucking buys Twitter and MSNBC?

Now we're going to use this kid's death to be like, actually, it was Tesla, Elon.

They had nothing to do with them, dude. They were fucking flying.

It is disgusting, dude. It does suck we're caught in the crossfire of just billionaires manipulating information from multiple countries, too. It's terrible. I will say the one thing I've been enjoying It's like, I don't give a fuck what people do, but there are tapes now. You know Destiny, the guy who is like... He's like a YouTube argueer. He comes always like, Well, actually...

Oh, I've seen that guy.

A sex tape dropped. Dude, everyone's like all pissed ass. He literally... There's a of him blowing a guy. Everyone's against him. I actually like his response. He went on, he was like, Yeah, you got me. Whatever. Sometimes I blow guys. It was like, All right. Kind of vulnerable. But somehow, nick Fuentes, he's from the darkest corner of the internet. He's super anti-Semitic. His whole thing is just like, he's a trolling. Anti-semitic guy. I hate the Jews guy.

Follow him. Make sure we start following that guy.

But now, it's a weird internet karma. He's just been a nasty guy. He's a pod goblin. He just goes and says terrible things online, which we've all done. None of us are pure. But he now, I think the Pakistani government or somebody has been putting it out that he got his dick sucked by Destiny, the other online guy. And these weird worlds collided in this accusation of a videotape. Now there's guys who don't like nick Fuentes who are going through Destiny's supposed sex videos just to try to find this- Find that guy. Anti-semitic guy blowing. It's imploding. The internet's just following on itself.

Or it's perfect.

It's exactly where it needs to be. It was a weird thing of online karma. It's like, if you do deal with the negative, it will come back somehow.

Why did that guy, the Destiny... I have seen him argue a lot. The guy, he's a little of a lisp. Yeah, he's a little of a lisp.

Yeah, you I've seen him. It's like on the Liberals get owned all the time. It's like people are like, actually, and everybody's like, see this guy. Some other guy will come into the video like, This is exactly what I'm talking about.

It's him versus what's the change my mind guy, Charlie Kirk or whatever.

Yeah, there's the ideological I do like the ideological Bukkake's where it's Charlie Kirk for his 27th Challenge freshman, and they all come up like, Oh, fuck you.

I love it. I was like, Yes. I could tell by your blue hair that you're obviously not religious. Everyone was like, Oh. It's like everything is like an own. I know. It's like watching and one videos from back in the day when everyone's like, Oh, fucking going nuts. He does these baby little slams on people. It is funny because they're always circular arguments because they're so embedded in their position. It's almost like You're not proving anything scientifically. You're rotating your opinion. These are just two rotating opinions that keep hitting each other over and over. So nothing is ever solved. It's never even a clever win. It's always like, how can I say a thing that you just don't have an answer to? That's what all those things have become. How do you just not have an answer to this? Because you're either not informed enough or you don't have the stats in front of you. Exactly. You know what I mean? That's all it really is. My favorite version of that is, what's the fucking... Who's the old black guy that's like... Jesse Lee Peterson. Is that him, dude?

Is he He's old as shit, and he's like, Black people are their own worst enemy. It's so funny, dude. I love that guy.

That guy's the funniest guy to ever live.

Well, explain me how you being a whore helps. Yeah, he just crushes women. Yeah, dude, he's great. He is incredible. But you are a slut.

They're like, What? Tell me why Black people need God. They don't think they need God anymore. Everyone's like, Look, dude, you're fucking... He goes so beyond... People don't have an answer to his chaos. That's what's beautiful about him.

It is nice.

He He trolls so hard that people have, at least in that format, it's pure comedy. He's got to be self-aware. He has to know it's funny.

A lot of them now just talk. It's like an arms race to talk faster and faster.

Everyone wants to Shapiro each I'm a hero.

Dude, he talks so fucking fast. And it's just like, well, actually, you're looking at 1942 and you're like, you win, dude.

I can't even prove any of that stuff.

I can't even think that fast. I'm done.

I quit. I need to write it down as I'm listening. The Destiny guy, wait, I want to know, though. Was the I got you moment because he's not gay? No, he doesn't even care.

He was just like, I wasn't really putting it out there like that. But he's like, yeah, sometimes I fuck around and get real gay in videotaping.

It's funny that they ran out of shit to fucking come at him for it. They're like, you suck. How about you suck? He's like, Yeah.

He's like, Yeah. He's like, Sometimes I do. They caught him. But they used that as being like, he had a horrible take about soldiers. They're like, Of course, he's out here blowing guys because he hates soldiers. You're like, Dude, just fucking take a day off, dude. Take one day off and relax.

Trying to find those threads. That's like that always sunny clip where Charlie's pinning all these things against her, just cracked out. You're trying to find threads over why him sucking. He hates the military. We have video of him sucking dick, dude.

He hates God. It's like, I I don't know. It's like, yeah, maybe, but it's just sad, man. You go on. It's like, we could be hyping each other up. Imagine if every day everyone's on the Internet being like, dude, you fucking rule. You rule, dude. You're the best. You're like, you fucking rule, dude. I fucking love you. You're a fucking waste of space. You suck. You ruin the podcast.

You're like, all right. Maybe that's the answer, though, what the next stage will be. This has to morph into something else. Now, with a second Trump era, I am interested to see what the twist is because the first one was this social, combative, fucking hate fueled everyone's mad at each other. Maybe the opposite will be now.

It might break. Yeah, the fever might break, man. It might be over. But it's like, will they give him if he does somehow kill it? Because this is apparently, I don't know how much of it's real or fake, but he is slashing all these different bureaucratic bodies, and maybe they get better. I don't know. We'll see. Yeah, we will see.

It could be. Honestly, or nothing will change.

True. Or it's just we're all reading headlines like, it's just the same, just dark machinery.

Well, because you see these videos that go like, I saw a woman yesterday, she was crying online, and she got all this attention. Hate, for sure. It was all hate. She got all this hate about, she's like, I'm gay, and I'll never be able to walk down the aisle. Like, Trump is going to take away all my rights as a woman and as gay woman. Then the infighting underneath that, it's the most entertaining thing on fucking planet Earth. It's unbelievable. That should be the news. The news should just be a channel of rotating comment infighting about these videos.

Dude, it is the news. A lot of news is people are angry at blah, blah, blah. It'll be like people are mad at Joe Rogan because of X, Y, and Z. Then it'll just be 17 comments, and they're like, See? Everyone's pissed at them. It's like, This is just an internet comment. You're just giving me internet comments.

That's how I know we're in a fucking fantasy time that's not even real. That what's the girl from The View that went after Rogan?

Bayhart.

Yeah. Instead, he's like, This guy believes in dragons. That's one of the funniest clips. And then Joe is like, This guy believes in dragons. He's mocking her. Dude, it's such a hilarious side-by-side. That's where we are now. The The view is commenting on Rogan is so funny to me, dude. It's so funny.

Well, they clearly... I don't know if I'm just making this up, but those networks do definitely get their talking points from some agendized directive think tank. A hundred %. They definitely do. And it's like, and Rogan's a threat because he has billions of viewers. He's now favoring Republicans. And the same with Tesla. Tesla has X, so they got to take those two guys down strategically just so they can build oil pipelines in Ukraine, whatever the fuck they're trying to do.

Whatever's going on in Ukraine, dude. What's going on over there, dude?

I don't know. Call Zalinsky. They have Nazis, apparently. Do they? I think so.

There's Nazis in Ukraine, though?

There are a lot of Nazis in Ukraine. God damn, dude. They're a strong faction of just straight... Apparently, there's Nazis in Utah, I've heard.

I've heard Northern Utah. This part makes a lot of sense.

I've heard Northern Utah is like Nazis.

Utah feels like if I was a Nazi, that's where I would go. It feels like home. True. Nazi Paradise. It's Nazi Paradise, dude. It's a big street. It's a big street. It's hills. Also, Utah, Salt Lake. I've always loved Salt Lake. Every time I go play, I'm like, such a fucking beautiful city. But then the more you sink into it, the more it feels a little bit... What's that? Tiny, boxes on the hill.

It's Steffer's shit. Where it feels extremely formatted.

You're almost like, what built this? It feels very like it's quiet, it's organized, it's very pristine. No one's really out of order. Because that's when you walk around a city like LA or New York, you feel things that are broken. You're like, nice, good. It feels human again. You can see the cracks. But there you're like, there's no cracks. And nothing feels out of order. It's really really It's a big deal.

I think in Salt Lake City, they can only serve you so much liquor, and they almost have to write down. There's like limits on how many shots.

So they brew beer specifically for... They have a limit on how much alcohol... So a regular Budweiser or whatever has less alcohol content there. They brew specifically for that, and I think they have a regulation for how much they can serve you. And they close early.

Yeah, they close early. Because I thought there'd be... I thought Romans were Amish people. There'd be four of them. You'd see them. They're like, Oh, look. They run the whole city. No, they run that shit. They're everywhere. It is nice. I like it. It's beautiful. It is creepy. Everywhere you go, something's just off. Every interaction you have, you're just like, What the fuck is going on?

You need to feel a little bit of... Fear is good. You need a little bit of a threat. You need to be like, oh, man, something could hurt me in this world. That's why we were just down in Australia, it's like, because so many of these animals down there don't have any predators, there's no natural predators, that the animals are worthless, disgusting creatures. Like, kangaroos, you're like, They're incredible. Then you see them, you're like, these things It's fucking gross. It's a big, weird rat.

They do suck. They suck.

Yeah, they suck. You think it's going to be dope, and you're like, I don't know, man. It's just like a big fucking rat, a lazy, weird rat.

Dude, that was pretty disappointing to see them. I was in Australia, and I saw them just laying around, and you're like, You could feed them and shit. It was like, this is shit.

You grab them.

They don't do shit. Yeah, those ones are pretty docile. Did you hold the koala bear? It was a koala? Yeah. They tell you they have fucking syphilis?

Yeah.

I was like, what the fuck is this?

Why did you give it to me then? I don't want this. They're like, oh, no, mate. It's all right. You can't get it. I was like, I think We went to touch the cuacas, too. Same thing. But those things are just big rats. Everything is a big rat. Everything there is a big fucking rat. And a quale is a rat without a tail. They're just lazy, sad because nothing's going to kill them.

You know, they fall from super high and they don't die for some reason.

Well, because they pass out. They just fuck. It's like 30 feet, 40 feet. They bounce like a motherfucker.

They just eat it. It's crazy. Australia was. Did you go in there? So you went in there wintertime, basically?

We just went. We just got back two weeks ago. Nice.

Yeah. How was the jet lag?

Awful, awful for these guys. You know why? Nobody fucking listened to me, dude. I even said it. They didn't fucking listen to me because I said we were leaving from Perth, which is the furthest West. And so I said on the first leg to Sydney, I was like, do not sleep. Don't sleep. Because the flight we planned home, I go, when we leave, then we'll land in LA at noon. So you'll be good. So sleep on the second leg as much as you can. Stay up on the first chunk of the second leg and then pass out all these dildos. I saw Bobby. I was making for a Bobby. He's on his iPad, and I look over to go to sleep, and I go, he's in the other and I go, Try to go to sleep. And he's just like, right back to his fucking iPad, dude. He was up the whole fucking time. So these guys were clipped for how many days? Four days?

I mean, I still have remnants of it. Crazy. Dude, I got fucked. I was like, I'll never go back because of that. I went to Vancouver with Shane, flew out of Vancouver to Australia. The flight there fucked me up. I had heart palpitations for six days. Then I finally started to adjust. By the time I did that, we were there for 12 days or 14, whatever. Then I flew out, stayed up all night. We did a show the last night. By the time we got back to the hotel, it was 1:00 AM. The flight was at 7:00 AM. I didn't sleep, really. We had to get to the airport so early. Then I stayed up pretty much the whole flight back for the most part. Then all the way to the East Coast, got dropped off into the Newark Airport, had a drive back to Philly from Newark after flying. No. I just got home and my wife was like, Finally, you're back. You have to take the kids. I was like, oh. Zombie dad. I was fucked for a week and a half.

Yeah, It's fucked up. It's fucked up. Well, we jumped so many time zones because we went Sydney, and then we did Auckland, then we did Brisbane, Adelaide, Melbourne, then Perth. So we jumped way too many time zones anyway. We did 10 shows in 12 days.

Australia is huge, dude. Those flights, I'm like, Oh, it'll be 20 minutes flights. No.

Like four hour flights. Yeah, it was dumb. That was the dumbest. It was great, but it was the dumbest travel we've ever done. We should have planned that a little bit better because when they sell you on it, they're like, Dude, then you'll just go to the next show the next night. You're like, Okay.

Yeah, this would be great.

What about another night? You're Okay. So we just said yes to all of it. And then as we got there, we were like, Fuck, dude, this is a bad idea. This is genuinely a bad idea. Yeah, but it was worth it. I mean, it was a fun. It was cool because people don't go down there as much. Performers don't go as much. So when you do go down there, the love was fucking crazy.

Yeah, I had a blast when I was there. Everyone was cool as shit. I was just like, I'm never the flight sucks so bad. People were like, Well, you can go stop in Hawaii for two days. It's like...

No, dude, I'm not going to fucking stop in Hawaii.

I'm not going to dedicate a month to my life too much. I'm not doing this.

No, that is so funny. Stop in Hawaii.

Stop in Hawaii for a week and then go there. I'm like, okay, yeah. I'll be- You're chilling Hawaii. I'm just retired. I'll just retire. I'll just retire it on a trail. I'll just move there. I'll just stop.

I'll just end up in French Polynesia and just fucking call it a day. This is it. When I first went to Australia, the first thought was, the first day I had jet lag and I was solo when I was there two years ago, and I was sitting in my hotel room and I was by myself and no one was there yet from the crew, the movie we were doing. I had a little bit of a panic attack and I thought, I'm so far from home. Dude, it's weird. I'm so far from home that if anything happened, I'm absolutely fucked. I'm stuck.

Then you talk to someone from home and you feel like you're in the future. They're like, It's yesterday. You're like, What? What happened? What are you talking about?

What's going on over there?

You're going to sleep right now? I'm just waking. Then at night time, I would see the constellations, and I'm like, I don't recognize these. I'm on the total different part of the fucking world.

We talked about that.

Dude, I'm telling you, I was having heart palpitations, and Shane kept laughing at me. I was like, Dude, I'm I'm telling you, my body is like a different electrical pole. He was like, Will you shut the fuck up? It's true, though. I'm like, It's electric, dude. I'm having my electricity. My body's freaking out. He's like, Dude, shut the fuck up about the electricity.

That is a real thing, dude. I know it is. You're upside down. That's what I'm saying. We said the other... Because you Some of the constellations are the same they share, but they have ones that you do not see.

It was freaking me out. I like them in Texas now, and I look at the sky and I'm like, What the fuck is that?

Are you guys going to stay in Texas, you think?

I think so. I like it. I actually love it a lot. Yeah, Whatever it is, especially with kids, I don't want to move them around. Yeah, that's tough for them. By the time the oldest is six, it's just we're locking it in and just doing a shift wherever.

One of the greatest guys to fucking move here, Matt fucking McCusker. All right, dude, look, I appreciate you. You're on tour right now. You're playing tonight. Obviously, this will be out after that, but you have other dates lined up. Yeah. Tell the kids the dates.

December is pretty much off, but I have... Let me bust them out.

Bust it out, dude.

I'm not even going to pretend.

Talk about it. Where's my phone?

It's mattmcusker. Com, M-C-C-U-S-K-E-R. You're not going to remember that, but go to mattmcusker.

We'll put it in the description below. Mattmcusker. Com will be in the description down below on the Yeah, let me just give you a quick thing.

Funny Bone, Ohio. I'll be there January. Dania Beach, Florida. Funny Bone, Columbus, Ohio. It's a different Funny Bone in Ohio. A lot of funny bones. Just Michigan, all over the place. Go to mattmancuster. Com.

Go to mattmcusker. Com. We'll put it in the description. Go see him. You're one of the funniest people I fucking am privileged to just started to get to know, man. You're a great dude. Thank you, bro.

You're a fucking man.

We end the show the same way. You look in that camera. You say one word or one phrase to end the episode. In part, wisdom or whatever comes to mind to end the episode. You're a deep man. I feel like something's brewing in there.

Yeah, just one word?

No, you could do a phrase, too. One word or a phrase. It used to be a word, but then people were like, Oh, I want to say it. Give me a phrase.

Dude, the last book, The book I'm reading right now, I like a lot. It's called Money and the Meaning of Life. It's this meandering long thing. But the thing I really like is, again, talking about your base natures and your higher ideals, and you can't ignore your base natures. He was talking about the idea that if you take the worship of money or fame or status, he's like, it's a real force, and it's not something you should try to cut yourself off from or be like, I'm better than that. But you have to relegate it to being the second most important thing in your life. Like, sex, all that stuff. It's like, you can't be ashamed of it. It's there. But just make it the second most important. Most important thing. Yeah, be a pig, be a gross, greedy pig. We all are naturally, but just try to make it the second most important thing in life. Perfect. I love that. Perfect. I've been thinking about that for a couple of days.

That is good. Make it the second most important thing. Second most important. Be a pig.

Yeah.

Second.

In here, we pour whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey. You are that creature in the ginger field. Sturdy and ginger. Like that, the ginger gene is a curse. Ginger's a fugus. You owe me $5 for the whiskey, $75 for the horse. Second most important. Second most important. Be a pig. Yeah. Second. In here, we pour whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey.