Transcript of Tim Heidecker Joins The Show! | Whiskey Ginger

What up, Whisky Jinger fans. Welcome back to the show. If you're new to the show, please like it. Please leave a comment below for the algorithm. Tell a friend about Whisky Jinch. Very excited. Last night, I was in Phoenix. I was in Phonyx. Now, I'm in San Francisco. I love it, man. San Francisco got two shows tonight. Tomorrow, I'm in San Diego. Got two shows in San Diego with the Balboa downtown. Come out and see me, San Diego. Then, of course, I continue on to Boston. I'm doing Boston, four shows at the Wilbur. Then I do four final shows in Minneapolis, Minnesota, where I shoot my special in Minneapolis. Come see about me, Minneapolis. Go to AndrewSantino. Com for those tickets. Andrewsantino. Com.

In here, we pour whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey.

You are that creature in the ginger beard. Sturdy and ginger. Like that, the ginger gene is a curse. Ginges are beautiful. You want me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse. Ginger's, oh, hell no. This whiskey is I like ginger's. Ladies, gentlemen, welcome back to Whisky Ginger. My guest today is one of my favorite people on Earth. I say that for all my guests, but I mean it once again today, it's Tim Heidecker.

Thank you for coming. Well said.

Yeah, was that smooth?

Well, the name pronunciation was right on the money.

Tim Heidecker. I really love Office Hours Live. Thank you. It's very funny. Thank you. It's just it is like what New Age talk show should be.

New Age?

Yeah. I mean, that's what we should have.

We should have transitioned. Not like pan flutes and things. That's what I think of when I hear New Age. New Age.

I just think now, I can't believe we're still doing... I did think they were going to move away from the old format of late night talk shows or talk shows. And when Taylor Tomlinson got her show, initially, I was like, oh, cool, she'll do like... But then they did the at Midnight format. But I thought for some reason they were going to let her do her own thing. But I imagine, like anything, you get into it and then they're like, we'd like to do what we've always done.

Well, The problem is, I'm a big Letterman fan. Love. Old Letterman.

I like him now more than ever.

I don't like him. I actually don't like him now. I know.

It's so weird. It's annoying. It's almost like you don't want to see him more now.

Yeah. I'm going to try to tamp my shit talking during the show. No, no, no. I tend to get people think I'm bitter, but I have opinions. What are you going to do? Give me the opinion. But you look at Old Letterman and it felt like chaos. It felt like things were barely hanging on. There's a silliness to it. There's an irreverence to it. It felt like it was on 12: 30 at night, and it felt like no one was watching, so they were just playing. That's what we try to do on our show. And it's really It's really fun. I think where it runs into problems because it's live and Vic and Doug are just pulling stuff off the internet in real-time. It's like there's no filter. We constantly get demonetized for playing Beel songs.

Music, yeah. Banning you for a Taylor Swift song.

I don't know if it would work at 12: 30 on CBS. But I mean, Stern is like that, too. Stern always had that feeling of you're listening in on a private conversation.

Well, give me the truth about Stern. Do you like him now still after all these years?

I don't listen quite as much. It's not the whatever, the woke, stern chain. Sure. I just don't listen as much, and I don't think I do think the world has gotten a little smaller there. I'll tune in and I'll hear like, oh, it's Roni again. This is getting really inside. No, but people don't know. And I'll be like, I'm done with Roni. And if there's not going to be anything else, and there's just like new characters and stuff. I don't know. I guess I still think he does a great interview. He did an interview with Paul Simon that I think was fantastic. Yeah.

His interviews are great. I just think it's funny. We joke about it on this. He talked heavy shit about podcasting, how this was never going to be a real thing, and you couldn't be further off. And also, I just find the hypocrisy a little annoying that I don't care about the political stances that he takes so adamantly on the show. But I do think it's fucking comically ironic that you're like, didn't you used to make Girls Come on a Sibian?

Yes. And then there's this weird...

He would ask every female guest to be like, did that guy suck your tits?

I think what's interesting about him is that he shows that you can change. Yeah, you can. For sure. And that's like, there's a lot of people who will definitely die stuck in the mud on what they've created. Totally. Yeah, it's true. So I don't know how I think there's I'm sure if there... I don't know, this is terrible, but there's probably terrible things growing inside of all the people on that show. This is like this sickness that created from all the years of the shit that they did. But I will still dip in. I don't think it's something I pay. And also his life of living in the basement of his place in the Hamptons Yeah. He did shout out my stand-up special. Did he? Which was pretty exciting.

That's pretty cool. Now, I got a lot of respect for everybody over there. I like a lot of guys that are a part of that universe. I do. It's just an interesting transition.

The prank phone calls are fantastic.

Yeah, they're fantastic. Kill Tony. What? Howard Walk, so Kill Tony could run and employ the most broken people live on air. It's like, how do you find the most shattered? That was like, did you ever know Don Barris' DingDong show?

Yeah, a little bit. Yeah.

Have the same like, where do you even find... You guys have done such a good job over the years. I'm going to compliment you a bunch, and you probably don't want it, but I don't care.

I need it.

Okay, here you go. Great shoes, great legs. First of all, great legs when you walked in, dude. I saw those stems. I go, this guy, In the strides, the gate was perfect. I'm a walker. Yeah, you really are a big walker. You've been walking for a long time now.

I think since I was two.

That's wild. No, but I think what you guys have done so well is the casting that you guys are able to put together sometimes is so remarkable. It was so unique. I think you were, in my opinion, the first people I saw to really do that in a way where it felt super organic and it was uncomfortably comfortable. It was perfectly uncomfortable.

Yeah. I mean, Coming to this town, we're in Hollywood. I don't know if we're in Hollywood.

We're in the valley now, maybe.

We're in show biz land. Yeah, showbiz town. We just wanted... There's such a pool of people who might have gone to a casting agent and then submitted a headshot and then forgot about it type of people. Exactly. And It was more... I mean, that might seem a little cruel, but it was more about finding people that you didn't see on television ever. As much as we liked sketch comedy, we didn't want to see UCB actors in our show.

Okay. Faces that were recognizable. Yeah.

I think we're not even recognizable, but just like, if we were going to cast an old man, we were going to cast an old man. We weren't going to find some UCB kid and put a wig on them and put makeup on him. We're just going to try to get real. The way that in a Scorsese movie or in, I don't know, in a Woody Allen movie or something like that, you felt like these were real people. That's where it started, but then we got addicted to it. We got to find really strange people, really interesting people, people that don't really fit the mold, maybe I'm trained actors and use them as clay in a sculpture mode as opposed to finding comedians.

What I find so fascinating about you, again, I'm kissing your ring a little bit, but I do think what's fascinating is you're able to touch the commercial world. You're able to do commercial stuff, like commercial TV you've done before. But then also you stay super subversive, and to do both is really difficult. I don't think there's a handful of people in our world that can do both. And I think you've done a great job. Eric, on the other hand, not at all.

Terrible. No, not on any level.

No, it's funny how you've been able to do that. I think that's always impressive to me when I see people touch both faces. You're like, it's hard to do.

Yeah. I mean, there's no plan for it. I think I'm lucky in some opportunities I've been given that just people, writers or directors or something are fans or see what I can do and have this creative ability or the control to cast who they want. So I get to be in certain things. I never feel a part of that world ever, even when I'm in it. I mean, no one really probably does. I feel so foreign. Tom Hanks probably doesn't. Or maybe he's the one guy.

He's probably the one. I think he feels pretty good. I think I feel so uncomfortable when I go to any of the spaces. I just feel like I don't belong. I'm a stand up. I didn't go to a formal training, so I just feel like a phony. And I'll work really hard for them.

But Do you find that you find... Sometimes you get caught, not caught, but you get an opportunity to be in that world, and you find that you don't have the skills to do it? How are you with memorizing lines?

That is, broadly enough, the skill that I am very good at.

Oh, well, then that's all you need to know.

But then the forceable- Stand here and say the things. Stand here, say what we told you to say. But But the uncomfortable thing is when I know I'm working across someone that's like, very... That went to Tisch. You know what I mean? If you're really classically trained or you've got such a wealth of experience, I do get super intimidated and nervous because I'm like, these people are going to see through me. They're like, you're a loser hack that they hired for the day. And that's hard to escape because even if they're like, hey, good job in that scene, they didn't mean it.

Well, those people are way more intimidated by you, I would guess.

Well, maybe up front, and then they do a scene, then they're like, never mind. This guy's crap. What are we talking about? No, but you've done a great job dancing in those worlds. But my question is because I'm not as familiar with you, only just your work. I don't know your history. Are you a film school guy? Did you go? You did. You went to film school.

Yeah. I mean, I started before film school. I wanted to be an actor. I grew up performing in plays and goof off in the basement.

God bless That's an East Coast thing, baby.

Oh, that's right.

They don't have those. It's so weird, so foreign. When you see one out here, I'm like, look at this.

Yeah.

Look at this.

They got it down there. I guess it's an earthquake issue.

I think someone else told me it was did the bedrock, too. Something about the rock out here is so hard and it's not easy to go down. It's very expensive.

Yeah. There's plenty of pools, though.

Yeah, that's true. But that's probably a lot easier to dig than foundation of a home, maybe to frame it on a... I don't know.

I think we should talk about this for the rest of the podcast. Let's do that.

So guys, right in. If you guys know anything about digging pools.

I love when people speculate.

I know. We don't know. No, but they don't have. We're not going to get to that. You know what I think it is?

Also, there's a thing under my leg right now that would tell us, but I'm not going to go to that.

Don't do that. And he can research- It's soil conditions. It's soil conditions. There it is.

But why pools?

I think it says high cost of construction involved in digging deep enough for the foundation to be stable.

Okay.

So you got to go- I was right.

When you're doing a basement, you got to go way deeper, and then there's got to be a foundation under that. Yes.

Okay, cool. So I was right. Say I was right, please. Yeah, you were right. Thank you so much. On the money. Right on the...

No. But I was... Yeah. So I wanted to make stuff. I was in bands, just creative energy, ADD, constantly annoying everybody around me.

Mom and dad together?

Divorce. They're separated right now. God bless. Yeah, but that's fairly recent.

Oh, wow. They waited.

I don't know if they waited. I don't know if that's how they would frame it. I do know people like, remember those kids that were like, my parents are together, but as soon As soon as we leave the house, it's over.

I grew up in Chicago. Everyone in the Midwest, they stay together because they don't want to be- It's for the children. Yeah. They don't want to be socially shunned. They're like, just get them through high school. And most of these kids are like, they're not going to college. My kids are all dumb. They're like, let them go. You know what I mean? That was the vibe. It's like, they'll just move out and get a gig and they'll be fine. But so were your parents super supportive? Were you growing up in a house of- Totally.

Were they artistic? No, not at all. But they were like, as long as you're happy, They were very strict. I mean, not very strict. They were physically abusive. But not strict. They just did it for fun.

Westborough Baptist Church members, right?

Yeah. I was one of 25.

That's wild. And you guys protest together as a family. The family that protest together, that's what they say.

No, my dad had a used car dealership, and that was the family business that he wasn't born. I inherited from my grandfather. It all sounds like I'm Matt Gates here, but it was like, this is- Are you campaigning? This is the '80s, and it was a Ford dealership. So it was every month was like, Can we sell one more car? Kind of thing. But it was a nice childhood. But yeah, very supportive. I did, in high school, I think, didn't get into some acting program that I was expecting to maybe get into. And I said, I better rethink this. I better learn a skill like a trade. And that brought me to film school, which is like, if you can control as much of the process as possible, you're better off than just being an actor waiting in a casting room for an opportunity.

Dude, I feel very lucky that we built our own little worlds. We talked about it the other day about, you get offers now. Sometimes they're like, hey, we're interested in you for trying to be a part of this thing. And they're like, And we'll give you $187. Oh, okay. For all of it?

Yeah.

All right. I was like, Okay, I don't know if we could do that. But that's become the new world. So what you've created, I mean, two decades of television shows, you know what I mean? You did it the way without knowing that that was the way that you had to do it.

Yeah, we didn't know. I mean, there was this beautiful little chunk of time where Adult Swim existed, which happened It still does, but not in the way that it did, where it was very much a singular vision of its creator, this guy, Mike Lazo, who was once he decided that he wanted this point of view out there, he didn't care how it... He wasn't a guy that meddled in it. He just was like, I think you guys are funny. Go off and make That's awesome. Yeah, that was so singular. Apparently, it used to be that way a lot more.

That's what you hear sometimes. Comedy Central is like that in its infancy. You hear a lot of those shows that they let people play and go wild, and then it all goes shit.

There's that thing about the record companies in the '60s where you had the fat old business guys who ran the companies who were like, I don't get any of this stuff, but it's making me money, so go off. They weren't giving notes on lyrics. Where are those guys? They all died?

They all die?

They all definitely had heart attacks and died. God, it sucks.

I don't understand what they do, but I know a rich.

I know the color. I know one color, Net Green.

Net Green, baby. It is true. It felt like that was... Because I had such a crush on the Steve Brule series, and Wayne and Jan Skyler made me laugh so hard.

He had a crush on Jan, I think. Big time.

Was it reciprocated?

Oh, yes. Big time.

The one line that I say, I love... Sometimes I'll text lines to friends from... You know when you have one small line that only one friend knows that you go... But I always say, And red wine is terrible for my interior rash. That's such a good line.

Is that from him or me? That's That's from- Or Jan. That's from you. Yeah, from Jan.

That's from you saying- Yeah.

It's so good. I'm very close with John, and I still... On a text chain, if you say something that if you tell him anything or he tells me something, I invited him to something the other night and he said, I can't go. And I just wrote back, I know. And that's just- That's great. We constantly quote ourselves I've seen.

How did you guys get linked up? How did you meet John in the first place?

This was 2004, and we were doing the show Tom Goes to the Mayor, which is our first show, Cartoon. And We knew who he was, but he wasn't... I guess he had done Chicago, so he was an Academy Award nominated actor. But he was a character actor in the Paul his Anderson movies and stuff, and we loved him. But so we sent him this script, and I had coincidentally ran into him at a bowling alley a couple of days later.

What are we talking? Chateau Lanes? That might be it. Chateau, Koreatown?

Yes, exactly. You know Ron Lynch? Everyone knows Ron Lynch. Ron Lynch, yeah. It was his birthday party. Sure. He did a voice on Tom Goes to the Mayor, and I saw him there, and I introduced myself, and he was like, Oh, I got a script from you guys, and it's really funny. Who are you? He was like, he's very curious and also was very interested in the alt-comedy scene. Sure. There was some overlap. Anyways, He said, This is funnier than a lot of the comedy scripts that I'm getting these days. Sure. He came over to our studio, our little office in Hollywood, and there was our usual seven guys and gals working at computers, and all of them were hipster-looking people, artsy-looking people. There were no executives around. There was just art everywhere, and there was weird ephemera and goofy stuff. You walked in there and it felt like... He said to us, who's in charge of this? We're like, I guess us. There's a network. He was just immediately sniffing out a clubhouse, basically. This is a place I could play. He immediately saw that we were working on the sketch show and had this idea for a news, like a green grosser type of person, like a correspondence.

That was it. He ran with it. Ran with it. He's been somebody we haven't done stuff with in a while, but very close.

It It is. I mean, a lot of us have to thank you guys because that's what we created. Bobby and I created our little stupid podcast, and that feels like our world of a cast of idiot fun characters. That's where we were if we found him and a lot of guys that come and then go on the show. And it's all because of that attitude of like, we'll just make a little dumb playhouse and hope that people want to have fun and be free, and we'll see what we dig out of it. And inherently, it births just super funny, accidental shit because no one is there to go, I don't know if that's- Yeah, there's no committee. It just doesn't matter. And if it fails, it's even better. It's almost like it's better when it's uncomfortable. I thank you guys for that because we do beg, borrow, and steal from the idea of your of free characters trying out shit, and if it bombs, it's even better. If it works, it becomes a part of the zeitgeist of the world or whatever.

I still do that now with Office Hours. On cinema, we built our own streaming network for that show. We shot a new season that's coming out on Christmas. I don't know when this is going to come out, but we shot it a couple of weeks ago, and it was that same feeling of I'm playing with my friends. It's all we're doing. We work, and there's a lot of talk and thought and deliberation that goes into trying to make it as good as possible. But then it just becomes you're playing. You're like, I'm back in the basement.

Who do you think you vibe with the best? Do you think Dog Pound, Doug?

Doug, I've known maybe the longest. So there is a history there.

He's fantastic, by the way.

He's very quick. We have a brother relationship, I think, which is very like- You broadly look alike. We do look a little bit alike. Yeah.

He's a Chicago guy. I know. I love him. I met him through Eric Andre's camp and that thing.

But I was shooting this thing and it was like, Much like here. We shoot it like that show shot a little more like a TV show, but it was like, I'm in charge. It always freaks me out a little bit. That's great. That's good. It's small, but it's still like, we're doing this. We're literally doing it with everyone that's paying for... They're subscribing to the show. There's no ads, there's no network, there's no media conglomerate involved. Luckily, I think we had that Adult Swim foundation that I think you do need. With Louis, you had a network before he went on his own. There's always like, I don't know what your background is, but- Trash. Somebody in your world, probably...

Bobby came from- Mad TV.

Mad TV, right. It did help that there was a generation. There was a period of time where there was big companies that gave way too much money to crazy shit that exposed, that spent millions of dollars advertising it, putting it in In front of all these people's computers and TVs and billboards and stuff. And then now we're all still here. Those companies have moved on.

Yeah, they're gone. Well, then now they're all Black Rock or whatever now.

Yeah, but we kept maybe a fan base or an audience from that experience. In here we pour whiskey.

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There's lots of... Eric and I have written pilots and series ideas that don't ever go anywhere. People think that we just decide what to do, and then we do it. You know that's not how it works. But I'm fascinated with apocalyptic stories. There was a good apocalyptic show, The Will Forte Show.

Last Man on Earth. That was a great show.

Yeah. I still think there's something there to be mined. There's been a show that we tried to get made that was in that world that didn't happen. But I don't know. The sketches, that question, I also don't remember anything. I have no memory. What do you think that is?

Why do we have no memory? Who can we blame it on?

Bob Odenkirk, not to name drop, But it's not that big of a name.

That's fine. It's not that.

He's got to do Glen Gary, Glen Ross. I know. I saw that. I might have to go to Newark. And Bill Burr is in that, right? I can totally picture it. Yeah.

Can't you? Yeah, it's perfect. I mean, it was Lemon, Ed Harris.

I'm really good at this, so let me take over. Okay, do it. Please.

Ready? Yeah, no, do it.

Are you ready? Yeah. Are you ready? Boom. Spacey.

Boom.

Ed Harris, Alan Arken, Al Pacino, Jack Lemon, Alec Baldwin. Wow.

That's all I got. Two of those five people are dead. Well, they've been cast into- Canceled. Canceled, been cast out. That is what- That's called the Glen Gary Curse. Is it really? And you think that's coming for Odenkirke?

Well, I know things about him that- Expose him.

Pull up the graphic of exposed, please. We do a big exposed piece.

Exposed. Bob said he was talking about writing. He wrote a memoir, and he was like, how hard it was because he's like, I'm too busy thinking of new things.

I can't hold all those things in my head. That's actually probably a part of it. Because my memory is really bad. Sometimes I'm going to go, remember that? And I'll go, oh, yeah, that's awesome.

I feel weird about it because do you know Jacquelyn Novak? Yeah.

She's hilarious. Yeah, so funny.

I saw her the other night, and she was telling me about seeing us doing a show together years ago at a Comedy Festival, and she was telling me about what I was doing and how funny it was to her. It was a very specific thing. But I have like a black... I have nothing from that.

What's the oldest memory you have in your brain?

Well, I mean, I was an early masturbator. Yeah, me Two years old.

I was one and a half. I got you by six months.

I have this dream that I remember from being very young. That was my... A shame dream.

Give it to me. What is your shame A shame dream.

I was like, it was me and my mom. Sorry, me and my dad and my sister leaving to go somewhere. But my mom was on the couch, but it was only her head. So it was this feeling of like, we're leaving to go to do something. We know you can't. Come with us. I mean, I think I had that dream when I was four years old.

Was it just her head on the cushion?

It was her head on top of the...

Oh, on the back? Yeah. Maybe she was hiding behind the couch.

That could have been it. Maybe it wasn't a dream at all.

I have one of those torturous... I misremember because of trauma. So I have one. My mom and my stepdad went to Hawaii, and I was staying at my grandmother's house, and I remember it was pouring rain. But the grandmother handed me the phone and walked away. Okay. And I remember hearing my mom go, Hey. And then me laughing, not saying anything, thinking how funny it was. She doesn't know. And then they were like, Oh, I think we lost it. And then they hung up. And back then, it was like, calling from Hawaii was like a thing. Sure. You know what I mean? It was in the late '80s. And then so then my grandmother was like, you're done talking to me? And then I just started bawling because I never got to talk to them. And then it stuck in my brain as like, Why would I do that? Why did I think that was funny? Why did I waste it? What if they never come back? That's one of those childhood weird... Where I'm like, maybe I did talk to them the very next morning, but in my mind, it's like, we almost never spoke again.

I didn't see them for weeks.

Listen to this memory, a sign of bad memory. Yesterday, I'm in my studio, the office hours, which is my garage.

Oh, it's at your house?

It's at my house. That's great, dude. That's smart. I'm in where the guys sit, like where you're sitting in this side room. I see this medication hidden I'm behind something. And I pull it out and it's an EpiPen. Oh, shit. And I go, what the fuck is this? And it's got my name on it, like a prescription sticker, my name, like a barcode, like the a later thing on it. It's not a prop. No. And it's unopened. And I'm just sitting with this going, and I call the guys. I'm like, do you guys know why there's an EpiPen in the studio? And they're like, no. I'm like, It was like a full mystery. I don't know anything about this. I don't have allergies. I don't... Nothing. Maybe one of the... And it was like, I don't know where this came from. Why is my name on?

That's so creepy. This is Momento.

And then last night, I was talking to my wife. She's like, Yeah, like a year ago, you went to get an allergy test because I'm allergic to some things. And they gave you something because of the test, where they poke you. She's like, We're going to send you an Epipen because there's a small chance that you might have a reaction to this. Oh, I totally Full blackout of that experience. It was a year ago.

That's dark.

That's so dark. And that me looking at this thing didn't recall that.

Thank God for your wife. Yeah. Honestly, my wife does that. She'll tell me stuff that she's like, did you not remember that? Yeah. No, I don't know. And I also, I think I like the Oden Kirk approach. It's like, well, I'm just trying to think of cool.

My head's elsewhere.

I'm going that way. Yeah. It's so hard to go this way. What was on the allergy test, by the way? What are you allergic to?

Let's rattle them off. Yeah. Well, stand up.

Yeah.

Then me too. Podcast. Yeah, I was in. No, I'm allergic to apples and certain fruit. This guy, he knows what I'm not even aware of this. I'm also allergic to apples. It makes my mouth itch, right?

I thought that happened to everyone until college.

It makes your roof my mouth itch. Yeah, it's very irritated. Wow. And I occasionally explore the idea of solving it or curing it or whatever.

You're going to alpha beat it? You're like, I'll just eat so many fucking apples.

There's a thing that they do where you're supposed to do this spray every day for two years, and it's going to go away. I can't remember to brush my teeth.

That's an issue, honestly. The Epipen No, but that is... Who cares? Yeah. That to me, when someone's like, I can't have that thing anymore. It's like, great.

Who gives a shit? Yeah, there's plenty of things. There's plenty of other things.

My wife can't have eggplant. She was like, that's weird. I'm like, who cares? When do we eat eggplant? No. How often am I picking up an apple? Really, truly. I'm almost never eating apples.

I'd like to eat a crisp. I mean, I used to be able to eat apples.

I'm going to send you videos from now on of me eating apples in the morning. First thing in the morning, just this delicious. Did it go worse through time.

You know what? I might not be. It's not like, I just don't eat apples, so maybe I'm not anymore. Go to Trader Joe's. Let's get an apple. I wouldn't die or anything. I would just be mildly uncomfortable.

Did you bring the Epipen with you?

No.

You should bring it with you everywhere you go now. That's a way to get out of a meeting, too. If you're like, stab me with this right now. I had an episode on an airplane. I had a Vasal vagal response. A what? I know. Exactly. Vasal vagal. It's your central nervous system. It's like a shock thing that happens.

And you're low- Passed out.

Yeah, you low blood pressure pass out.

I've got a good one for you with that, but go ahead.

What happened, and the doctor they called to the front of the plane thought I was on drugs. And I was like, oh, no, I'm not on drugs. I'm completely sober. Did you take something yesterday? I said, I've been feeling a little ill the past few days. I was like, I haven't put anything in my system. I've barely been eating food, and he didn't believe me. So he gave me... They thought I was full of shit because they were like, the reaction was so strange. It seemed like a medical emergency. So he gave me fucking Narcan. They give the heroine at it. Well, of course, I'm texting my wife in the air, and I'm like, these guys are thinking I'm on drugs, and they're trying to give me Narcan. And then she's googling. This is, thank God for Google. She's like, if you're not overdosing, NARCAN will not hurt you. It has no effect. It doesn't do anything to you. Okay. Well, that was my worry. I'm like, you're going to give me this. This is going to kill me.

Yeah. It's like the thing in the adrenaline shot. Yeah, it's like the thing in the adrenaline shot.

Yeah, exactly. No. So I took the NARCAN and the guy was like, I had zero reaction to it. And so he finally believed me. But I was like, that's how crazy that they were... Because I do get the scenario of them being like, dude, don't lie to us. We're not the cops. If you're ODing on the plane and I'm trying to explain it, I'm like, I I can't even have food. They're like, sure, dude, just sit down and take the Narcan. Shut the fuck up.

I was on a plane recently where a guy passed out, and it was very scary. But the V anal vagal, is that what it was called? Vasal vagal. I like V anal vagal.

Yeah, anal vagal. Mine's anal vagal.

Do you want to hear another story? Give it to me. We love stories. Are we good? We're not good? Okay. No, stories are good. Stories are good. People love stories. I think I might be in the dog house for telling this story. Tell it. But Because it involves the old lady, but she doesn't watch the podcast that I'm on. She is.

She's going to now.

She does not.

She has a life.

She's an adult with her life. No offense to everybody watching. We play softball in like an intramural softball league.

I love this. Are we talking 16-inch, 12-inch? Is it glove or no glove?

Glove. What do you mean no glove?

I played for a long time in 16-inch Chicago-style softball. Oden Crook will know about it.

You get a line drive and you're playing second base, you're catching with your bare hand. It's softer.

It's actually like a softball, which the name of the sport should actually be.

Yeah, because the softball we're playing with- It's hard as a rock. It's hard as a rock, and you Well, this is where the story goes. I'm at home. It's Friday night, and I'm shooting this commercial very early the next morning. So Marilyn, my wife, is going to softball practice at night. That night, I said, I'm going to skip tonight because I just want to chill. It's about three miles from where we live, up this canyon, where there's some ball fields where they practice. We've got two kids, eight and eleven. And she's is on the field. She takes a ground ball, bounces up, and hits her in the cheek. It's a deflection, so it's not a direct hit, but she feels it. She doesn't think much of it, but she takes a She makes sure that she's okay, and they get ready to leave. Next thing I know, I got a call from my wife, very disoriented, saying, I was just in an accident. I'm not sure. I think the ambulance is on their way. Something scary shit like that. I'm right down the street from the ballpark. I've raced there. I have a very hard time tying my shoes.

Shoes.

Yeah, I see that.

I can see that. In general. But she's trying to get down there. I get a couple of miles away to where I see her car run off the road into another car, and the kids are in the back seat of the car. Everybody's fine. They're freaking out and crying. The car is like... It was like a Fender Bender style. It was not a... Not T-bone. We're not upside down or anything like that. But Marilyn was driving home, blew her nose, and passed out while driving.

Oh, shit.

What happened was when she got hit, it broke her sinus in her nose, in her face, and it did the same thing with that nerve. That nerve got- That visibical response?

Yeah.

Yeah, that nerve got triggered and her blood pressure dropped. She passed out. Exactly what happened to you. But while driving.

Oh, my God.

And thank God, who I don't believe in, He's here right now.

God, come on in.

She was just like, coming at a certain place in the road where she was, it just coasted off and just bumped into this car. But a mile Maybe a half mile back, she's like open on the canyon side, which is just like, I can't even think about it.

Mulholland Drive, baby. Exactly. This is why we live in the flats.

You got to stay flat.

You got to stay flat, dude.

You have a fear of heights?

No, I just whenever I went to friends' houses that were in the hills, I was always like, What are you going to do?

There's that road that if you go from the back way back from Malibu that goes down this Malibu Canyon, I guess. Yeah, one of those. I have a I had fear of heights, and there are just some turns in there that are like, you're dead.

And there's no lights at night.

There's no guard rail. There's like a two-foot guardrail. It's insane. It's a joke. Yeah, maybe. We'll see what happens.

That's a bit from the cops. Make it real low. I found that- So that you'll flip. So you'll flip, yeah. Something for us to do up here. We don't get to do anything. I was in Ireland. The first or second time I went to Ireland, I went to the Cliffs of More on the Western Coast. If you've never been, it's just unbelievably beautiful. But in the same way where somebody goes Grand Canyon, come on, who gives a grand? And then you go and you're like, oh, my God. It does something to your inside. The Cliffs of More are the same.

Not exactly the cliffs of less.

Yeah. The cliffs are way more. Here we go. You I was so taken aback by it. And then I realized it was wet. It's always wet and it's slippery grass. There's no fence. There's no protective border. Any idiot can walk up and fall. And I was like, I slowly started to... I wasn't even that close. It was like 12 feet.

No, I'm not getting anywhere near this place.

I just slowly backed up seeing all these tourists like, by the edge. And I thought, they know people fall every year, but the Irish government's like, well, you know. It's your choice.

It's your life.

You fall.

Let the sea take you.

That's the Irish way. Speaking of the Forte, he has a new show, by the way. Have you seen that Bodkin show in Ireland? No. It's Bodkin. Is that the name? I'm so dumb.

It's like a mystery. I should watch that. I don't know why. I don't watch any shows.

My wife and I are trying to watch shows.

Get it back into shows.

Because we don't do it. Everyone does it and we don't do it. And everyone's like, Do you guys watch? And we're like, We don't. We'll sit around at night, play with the dog, and We talk shit, and that's it.

You're not really talking.

No, we talk shit.

Okay. You're not sitting down like, how are you? She goes, you know who I hate? Oh, that's fine.

That's it every day.

I don't want to hear that you're at night talking with your wife about how you feel.

No. We just talk shit about stuff. Yeah, we really do. Bodkin, am I right? Yeah, Bodkin. And someone was like, you guys should try. So now we're making a point to be normal. We're trying to be like, how can we sit together, watch a show?

That's depressing.

Our schedules are just so ridiculous. We don't have kids. What does your wife do? She's an international arms dealer. She works with the Russian government.

You know what? I know you're joking, but people do that shit. And I don't... Like, It's a living.

It is. Well, someone has to do it. Guns have to get from A to B. Right.

And she's a big part of it. And hopefully it's done safely and responsibly. And you don't have arms on the black market. If it's going to happen, let's make sure it's happening responsibly regulated. Right.

We're not really calling it the black market anymore, just so you know. It's a little offensive. Okay. Yeah. Just the other market.

Yeah, I hear you.

We're calling it the new age market.

The underground market.

The underground market. Yeah. No, but We both have such busy schedules. It is funny. So we try to watch a couple of shows. We watch Penguin, which we've talked about. Penguin. Loved Penguin.

Loved? It was so good. Loved Penguin. I don't know why you got a pronunciation on Penguin that I'm interested in.

What is it? Penguin. Yeah.

I mean, That's a little Midwest.

You say it.

Penguin.

Penguin. Penguin. Penguin. Penguin. No, he says Penguin. Sanguin. How do you say the thing that's on top of your house? What is that called?

Santa.

Bam. You say roof, rough.

I definitely say roof. Roof? Yeah.

Yeah. You're Pennsylvania? Yeah.

Eastern West. I'm East Pennsylvania, but I don't really have a Philly accent.

Yeah, because those guys- A weird accent. Yeah. Philly. Philly is such a... I love Philadelphia because it's It's so fascinating. You're like, How did you guys come up? How did you get this? Do you know what I mean? Where did that even come from? Like the south, you can hear. You understand where the south started to come from. But Philly, New York, obviously. But Philly, something about Philly is very like What happened?

It's caught in the middle. I can't even do it. And I'm from there.

I can't put it on. Yeah. You use guys. Yeah.

You use. You use. You're eggles.

You're you. You're you. You're you. You're you. You're you. You're you. You're you. You're you. Yeah. But you went what? You went from Philly. I mean, you went from PA to New York.

I've only lived I've figured this out. I've only lived in three places in my life. No, four. I'm sorry. Four. Allentown, Pennsylvania, is where I grew up. Philadelphia. Went to college there. Met Eric, lived in New York for four years and then moved here.

Do you miss New York ever? No. You like it out of here.

This is for you. You go to New York, you see the people you know.

You see some of the people you know.

No, but you like I did a movie there. I'm going to drop it. No, please keep doing it. I do accidents, but they come in and out. I like it.

I really do.

But I did a movie there this summer. I got to live there for a month and a half. That's enough. Yeah, it was nice. Got a nice taste.

Yeah. Where'd you live when you were in New York?

I was in Williamsburg, in Brooklyn. Very nice. Which I used to live there when I was in 2003.

Back before it was hip.

Yeah. Well, it was actually hip.

That was when it was originally hip.

It was like vice started there, hip. But now it's like tourism hit, like hip tourism. It's actually very weird.

It's so pricey. It's so funny. A buddy of mine had a place there for years on Dregs, on Dregs? Dregs. Yeah, Dregs. On Dregs. And I'd go visit him for years and years and years. I think one time he was like, I have a hard time letting that building go because he was moving. And he was like, I shouldn't let that go. For years, he kept it. And then now I think at a apartment in this building was like a one bed, one bath, little shanty, and it was like two and a half million dollars. I was like, that little fucking bullshit apartment you had, was that?

It's still as much as you have a Marine Lair. What's that store called Marine Lair? That's always what I know Marine Lair. Something's gone gentrified. You see a Marine Lair store. You still have those stores, who wants that? And you have the, what's the? I Glasses place that is on every- Wait, hold on. Warby Parker. Warby Parker. Yeah, that's on every... But it's also like, shitty. It's just like the buildings themselves are falling apart.

Let's name all the stores that- That would be there.

That ting of gentrification. Melville. Is that a store? Brandy Melville? Brandy Melville.

That's there. That's got to be there. You got to have an Allô yoga if you're going to really gentrify.

Allô yoga is huge.

You got to gentrify with that.

Lulu, of course, going to be there.

But Lulu is not as popular as anymore. We're going more to Viory and Alleo.

You might have it. Now, they're going to have a Tesla shop.

They'll have a Tesla showroom. Yeah, showroom. And you can touch it, but they're like, sir, these are not for sale. Yeah. And then there's one more- Salt and straw. Got to have a salt straw. These are the keys to gentrification. If you're looking to gentrify a neighborhood, please pick up our book.

Tim and I were releasing a book. I shouldn't have ice cream, but it is a salt and straw. Just a little bit.

It is funny when I walk to those stores, too. After you go through the West Village, if you're headed to Chelsea, they have a little strip of every one of those fucking stores. It's literally like they're back to back to back. I'm like, They did it. Look at this. They came in and they did it.

Yeah. They must have a catalog. We definitely want a salt and straw. We want an aloe, and we'll just check these boxes here.

And then also the, what's the shoe one that I see all the time? All birds. You got to have an all birds. And if you don't have an all birds.

The other level of it is the regions that have the line of the stuff that you can't afford. No one can afford. The Dior or whatever.

Just high-end.

High, high-end fashion. In Glendale, the Americana. You know the Americana? Yeah. Which we It's a go-to because it's like there's a movie theater there and there's a couple of things for the kids to do there. There's a grass. It's an outdoor mall. It's nice. It's an outdoor mall. It's fine. But over the past few years, every store has been replaced by Tiffany and Balenciaga. It's just like, who's going? But no one shops. No one goes in those shops.

Whenever I see them, they're all empty.

They're all empty. There's one man in there looking around because he works there and waiting for his shift to be over.

And they always have security up. Yeah. And you're like, no one's stealing.

There's a strip in Toronto. I mean, every city has that strip of those seven stores, a Rolex store.

Which you can't buy a watch yet. That's the funny. Do you know this? No. This is the funniest thing, the revolution of watches. When I was a kid, I remember my dad wanted a nice watch. My dad's never bought anything nice for himself. Back then, you could go to a store and be like, look at an Omega watch, and then try to buy one, if the dealer had one. Now, they have the watches. And then you go in and then they'll go, well, these are for a display. And you're like, Well, what if I wanted to buy one? They're like, well, then you'd have to talk to one of our authorized dealers and have a relationship, and then you can order one. What the fuck?

What the fuck is this for? That watch culture is so weird. John and Fred, Armisen and I, we have this text thread that's just total nonsense, as I'm sure you do with your comedy friends. Losers.

Yeah, my loser friends.

But there's When you read the news, like Apple News or something, if you read an article, they start feeding you more things like that. One of us got in like joke, whatever, randomly clicked on an article about luxury watches. And now I'm getting all these articles about luxury watches, and I'm just sending them to those guys. We're having this fake conversation about, do you have the new model? And did you see this picture of George Clooney with this new Omega? And like that, I don't get. I mean, talk about things I don't get. I have a long list, but watch thing is real.

I like it. It's funny. I like watches, but the culture is very like, I can't keep up with that. I'm not good at keeping up with trends or any of that stuff. I've always been like, if I like something, if I go, oh, I like the way that looks, then I like it. But as soon as you talk to someone about it, they make you feel dumb. So I refuse to bring it up. If I liked one nice watch, I was like, oh, I really like this watch. Someone like, oh, that's not the... Is that the 4,964? I'm like, oh, yeah, I really just thought of it.

I'm a guy that's like, I don't like any You might- No luxuries. No luxuries and no attention towards me. Sure. Unless I'm controlling it and making something. But in my normal life, no tattoos, No accoutrement. Nothing that says, look at me.

There's two kinds of people in our world, I think, because me, he knows. Bobby and I have a very polar relationship with that. I get a little anxious in public, and I don't really love... I want to sift through it quietly. I like to hat down in the airport, and I'm not saying, I'm so famous, but I just like to disappear, just get to where I'm going. And Bobby was like, if he could have fucking balloons and pop them every five feet.

He loves it. Yeah. And it's like, life is like self-expression.

It's awesome.

I wish I had that. Dressing like fashion. Look at me. I'm like, I have a black sweater, regular shoes.

I have four colors that I wear. If they did a montage of me on this show or the other one, it's like- A Pantone.

Yeah.

It's this much on the color wheel. It's like a little tiny sliver. But that's only because I think it's a personality thing in our business, you're either like this or you're the exact opposite. It's hard to go through both. When you meet people in our business, they're usually loud and big and they want it all, especially in the comedian world. We talked before a little bit about how our worlds do cross, but there is still a weird- Yeah.

I was saying I feel like coming to a foreign country, coming here. I'm very gracious for you to have me. I'm very nice of you to have me. Yeah, well, I've been a big fan. But I don't know the world. I'm not I don't know a lot of this. We probably know a lot of some of the same people, but it does feel like different nation states of- It does. Of comedy.

What I found is I've gotten older when I was young. When I was younger, it was always this weird competitive thing of sketching improv worlds versus the improv world. But when I started, I came moved out here in '06, '07. And back then, a lot of the rooms that were available for me as a standup were on the East side, and they were alternative rooms like the Lsids or- Right. What was that? Galra Golt, Tiger Lily. A lot of that stuff was home to me.

That hotel. Hotel cafe. Not hotel cafe, but there was a Radisson Inn or something like that. Oh, yeah. On Vermont.

Yeah, on Vermont.

Shows in the basement.

And Virgil. It's like all these things were where we could get in if we were young because the clubs wouldn't want us there. Yeah.

And all those places looked to have... Like stand-up were welcome because you can just come and do 10, 15 minutes.

And just I walk around. Yeah. So that world I knew so well. So Rutherford and I came up together a little bit. And then it is fun when you see guys break into their own world. And then you grow into your adult brain and you're like, oh, wow, there's way more people in that world that I love and respect that we just don't see or cross paths. But when you're young, it's this weird competitive.

Well, I remember going to... I mean, you guys all talk about the store. My feeling of the store is always like, that's a dark place that I am not welcome. It's a dark place. You are welcome. I don't like the energy. I've done a few things there that I felt like that's probably... No disrespect to anybody there, but I was like, I'm going to stay in my little world. Sure. So there is the feeling of there's that side and there's another side.

But- Can I give you an- Also, it's just... Well, go ahead. Let me give you an alternate viewpoint on this because I know this feeling, but I've drug guys from both sides to both ways. I think I feel like I'm a little bit of a conduit for this. Rory would always say stuff about it. Rory Scowell. Yeah. And then he would go, There is only one. And we just call him Rory. That's true.

We just call him Rory.

But Rory used to say that a lot, and then he would come around, and I do understand it. But then when you sink into the world of our original room, it's a black box theater, and it feels exactly like- Anywhere. Yeah, anywhere. And more guys have have come over, more guys and girls have come over, and they like it. And my pitch was whenever guys would make fun of me from the East Side that I knew, they'd be like, how the fucking comedy story. And I'd say, look at it like this, though. That place is a true testament of not your audience, because on the East Side rooms, there's a lot of locals, a lot of Silver Lake, Los Felas people, and that's great. But that place is filled with tourists, different races and genders. Oh, yeah, for sure.

A true general audience.

That's the public. So to me, I was like, if you're looking to see how you do on a broad spectrum, this place has that in its bones. Our history, that place historically had just the most- Oh, sure. Weird creative, loose, free, wild. So I always It etched people that perspective. I was like, come try it. Because I do understand there is the undercurrent of yucky bro-y, and that always exists in places.

I also am like, I do a standup character. I'm sure you've seen it. It's great. It is confrontational towards standup comedy itself. It's great. I actually did it at the Comedy Store once, and it did not work. But it did. Well, it did in a sense. I've done it. I do that character. If I do it for what I would call my crowd, it's a totally different energy. It's full. It's actual laughter at the right places. I've kind... And so I actually did it there. I think Duncan Trussell and Natasha Lajero coaxed me over there. This was 10 or more years ago, but they saw it as like a prank. Let's do a prank. But not everybody saw it that way. And I understand that it's like, come on, this is what we do. And you're being an asshole about it.

I would have taken it the other way.

I know. Because I love that. And a lot of people would. People With- But yeah, a couple of noodles.

A couple of things flying around. Yeah.

But I don't know. There was a guy there, and you'll know who this person is. I can't tell you who it is, but he was like the booker there or somebody.

Oh, okay. The old manager. Yeah.

He was very sweet, but he took me on the face as if I was truly trying to be a comedian. He was like, You know, you just got to keep at it. Maybe you should come back on a quieter night, on a Tuesday or something, and we get you earlier. But you just keep working at it. Very encouraging. Giving you notes. Yeah. But I don't know. There's something like, I mean, with the sketch and making stuff, there's something more collaborative to me than- Totally. Obviously, with stand-up, it's you and the audience. I'm sure you have tremendous camaraderie with your colleagues. Some of them. Some of them, yeah.

Like, I mean, some of them you get on with. But what I'm curious of is in our world, as we get older, we all get so busy and we're all just touring and trying to put together our shit. You just see people less. Does that happen with you guys, too? It's harder and harder for us. Because when you're young, it is collaborative. You're like, we're all working, and then you'll tag people's bits and go, hey, man, I've heard this joke I really liked, and do you want a tag or two? And so it became this great community. But then you get older, you almost don't see anybody anymore.

No. I mean, that's the beauty of what we do, what you do here and what I do with the office hours. I'm bringing people into my house, literally. And so I keep in touch with people often that way. I mean, I meet new people, all sorts of people that I didn't know. My producer helps so much to find new people that I'm not out watching stuff. But people like John Early or Caperlant. So funny. These people, so many other people that my memory It wouldn't work. But I maintain relationships through booking them on the show.

That is the way we hang out. When I found it funny, you had Mooney on. Yeah, another one. You hate Kyle Mooney, and you said this very publicly.

Yeah, very publicly. Well, I mean, obviously you're joking.

When you say that, it sounds like I'm not. I know.

Here's the thing. When I get together with Kyle off camera and we're together, we do the same routine. We just do this routine of I ask him stupid questions, I insult him, and I put him in uncomfortable positions. It's fucking play. It's just all play. It is recreation. I don't know how else. I don't really know how to relate to people that don't operate that way. I'm sure you might have this feeling of if you're talking to somebody that isn't... I'm not talking... You don't have to be in comedy, but you have to be funny.

You have to just get it.

Yeah, or just be... I don't want to be on all the time, obviously. That's obnoxious. But you want to be open to play and open to just pretending and doing bits and stuff. And Kyle's like that. And so when he comes on the show, we just immediately lock into that. Yeah, that's great. But you know how the world is now. Yeah.

They think it's real.

People are so quick to go. First of all, can you imagine He's asking a question in a comment section? Why? Why is he treating him like this? No one is going to give you the right answer.

There is no right answer. That's the best part. It doesn't even exist.

Don't worry about it.

Yeah, it's for fun.

Sit back and maybe the answer will come to you at some point. But I feel bad, and I don't want to answer. You cannot. But you just be like, God, I feel like I'm embarrassed that you're asking that question.

It's so weird. Questions. I mean, I've gotten caught up.

Or ask a friend. Don't write. Go get a buddy. Say, Can I show you something? What do you think?

But I don't think they do. I think that's a very insulated... I'm seeing it just at face value, and I'm going to judge it immediately and then check out. I did a podcast with this girl, Babi Altaf, who's like, she became pretty big in the last couple of years. And deliberately, I was playing a character where I was just really mean, just cruel.

Oh, It was so fun to do.

It was so fun. And people were like, what the fuck is this guy's problem? Do you not know if this was real and we didn't like each other, this wouldn't have come out.

What the fuck do you think is going on? Kate Burland did this on our show last year. She's a queen of this too. But out of nowhere, five minutes into the podcast, she's like, You know what? I don't like the energy here, and I don't like the way you're talking to me, and I think I'm just going to go. I'm sorry. It was very well-performed. She's so good. I performed it pretty well. But again, it's like, what do you think we're doing here? We're playing, we're goofing around.

What do you think we're doing here, dude? But I think because we can... Okay, I think it's a testament to how good you are, that people don't know. I don't even know you, but I feel the energy of who you are and when you can shift. And I think if people don't really get that, they see you in one way and they think that might be permanently who you are, and they see you in another way and they go, well, I don't really like. I don't know if I like this. It's like something I can hear my dad I had saying, I didn't like when I saw that and I didn't like it.

But I grew up, going back to Letterman, Letterman could be that way. God, I saw the funniest little clip on Instagram. He was talking to Johnny Cash. It was in the '80s, and Johnny Cash was saying how he... There was this one night where he had Joni Mitchell and Bob Dylan and Graham Nash and a couple of other people, Chris Christoffersen. And he was taking his time with the story, and they were all each played Marrakesh Express on both sides now, and Bob played Lay, Lady Lay. Those songs were all played for the first time. Letterman goes, Wow, jeez. Did you have snacks? And it was so fucking good. It was just so quick. Of course, Dave wouldn't have said that if it was just Johnny Cash sitting around it. Maybe he would feel comfortable doing that. Maybe. But I don't know. Yes, it's how we play.

Those moments are so fun. He historically was so good at the Crispin Glover.

Yeah. Those were so fucking fun. Or like, I mean, a more that It was a bit of a tangent with Johnny Cash, but just like the Charles Grogan on that show or Albert Brooks, both of them. Charles Grogan would come in. I don't know if you've watched some of those clips.

I've seen a few of them. Yeah, on Instagram.

Well, There's a longer one I always recommend is Charles Grogan on Johnny Carson. It's one of my favorite pieces of art, honestly, where he pushes Johnny Carson about whether or not Johnny likes doing this. He asked the question, do you care about anything? It goes on for eight or nine minutes. It's super uncomfortable. There's truth in it, but there's also them playing. Johnny isn't Heaven. You could tell. He loved it. He loves it. And the audience was smart then. No offense. But they were laughing. They were laughing at the right places. They get it. Yeah. But if you're sitting at home, maybe not.

But I think because Johnny was in Letterman was just like him to me. And Johnny had that thing with guests where if he didn't really like them, it was almost so much more fun because he was like... And Letterman was the same way. If he didn't really love them that much- Oh my God.

Letterman had thing where he had Mickey Rooney on in the '80s. Mickey Rooney at the time had just gotten married to this young cabaret singer, and he was trying to pedal his wife out and promote her album, and that she was singing at this Italian restaurant, and it was very embarrassing. But Letterman was like a cat with catnip. He was in heaven because he was just playing with this idea of little Mickey Rooney, old Mickey He's sitting there with his wife on his lap and trying to sell tickets to her Italian restaurant, Cabaret Show. He's asking about how much the record goes for in the store. What do they sell it for? Yeah, exactly.

I love that. I can hear that. I can hear him doing that condescending. People are buying it, though. Yeah. He always had a little bit of make you question yourself. Oh, the arrogance. Oh, so good. When he would ask a question like that. People are not people are going, though. Yeah, aren't they? It's such a It's just waiting for you to bury yourself. Like, no, we will. It will probably sell out.

Oh, there it is. Look at that. Did I describe that perfectly? Oh my God.

And she looks so- And poor Mickey believes that this is important.

This is meaningful. This is a big shot. This is the next big step that we're going to take in our relationship and with your career.

I think Well, to circle it back, I think you've brought it back in a way where Office Hours Live is great. And so you're doing this playful new world, the take on that. To me, that's the new version of that. That's real good. It's so funny.

Thank you. Please watch it. I'm off to do our live Christmas show tonight. Are we allowed to say... Do you let people say Christmas on this show? Or is that going to be an issue with the demonetization? I prefer you not, if you don't mind.

With the demonetization? Yeah, if you don't mind. You could just say holiday show.

I know the war is I'm raging right now. We'll just beep it.

Yeah, you're doing a Christmas show tonight. Is Robinson going to be there to heckle you?

I haven't asked. I always hate asking people to do things. What? Who cares? But I should. At this stage in our life. Well, this will have come out already. Yeah, this will be out. And I'm touring. Because we just set this up through. We didn't set this up in any official way.

No, it was very unofficial.

Very unofficial.

Which is what I like.

Which you can cut this out, but you're a guy.

The guy that plugged us together? Yeah.

I did the other show he does, Matan.

Oh, yeah. Was that insane?

It was so crazy. Can I just tell you real quick?

Yeah.

And maybe don't use this. Yeah.

Cut this, Joe. Cut this out, Joe. Yeah.

Cut it. I don't want to ruin anything for him, But it was fine. And I could tell right away he was a big fan of mine. And I was like, I know what this is. I know exactly what this is. Yeah, you see through it. But good for him, whatever. But halfway through the thing, he pulls out a knife, a big real knife. It was not a joke knife. It was a real knife. No. It's public, but it happened a long time ago. I was stabbed in the back twice for real. I'm not fucking around with a joke or a real knife. No. It's not.

It's not a joke.

It's not a joke.

That's a real weapon.

It's a real weapon. It's not even a joke. No. I know. That's not funny. I played through it. I was confrontational about it. I got the knife off the set. It started to try to come back. I go, if it comes back in, I'm going to walk. But don't play around with real weapons in your Eric Andre sketch.

Yeah, I know. I don't want that.

Anyways.

But you're touring.

I'm touring with my band and Kyle Mooney is opening up at Neil Hamburger. You must love Neil Hamburger. One of the Kings. One of the Kings. Dj Doug Pound. Dj Doug Pound.

Yeah, in the mix. In the mix. Dude, I love that guy.

But I've been playing music now. My The band is fantastic. It's a night of comedy and music.

Timheidecker. Com/live now. Timheidecker. Com/live.

I have that extra page.

You need it. You need it, to be honest. I was going to tell you, I can't open up another tab. I was like, just give me the page.

Yeah, it's a hyperlink. It is.

It has to be because you're a hyper cool dude. I appreciate it. Go to Tim Heidecker Live. Go see the shows.

Please watch- Don't go to Tim Heidecker Live. Go to timheidecker.

Com/live. We'll put the description down below. I appreciate you coming by. It was really nice. This was very wonderful. I hope I see you again sooner than later. I obviously can't go now, but I do want to come to an Office Hours Live.

I'd love to have you. Because I think they're so cool.

I'd love to have you. They're so rad. All right. We end the show the same way. Look into that camera right there. One word or one phrase to end the episode. It used to be a word, and then people were like, what if I want to impart a phrase of wisdom upon people?

Closing Cork. In here, we pour whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey.

You are that creature in the ginger beard. Sturdy and ginger. Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse. Gingers are beautiful. You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse. Gingers, oh, hell no. This whiskey is excellent. Ginger. I like gingers.