Transcript of #3153 RHOBH S15E04 Part One: Sedona Nobis Pacem

Who cares what happens when there's so much that happens. Well, hello, and welcome to Watch What Crap-ins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker. Joining me today Today is the one and only Roni Kerem. Hi, Roni. How's it going?

Good. I'm just over here scrolling my Instagram to see if the guy from Heated Rivalry messaged us. Come on, man. Come on, Scott Hunter.

It's going to happen. It's going to happen.

I'm sure he's totally in love. Where is my DM, Scott Hunter?

For those who don't know what Roni is talking about, we had the immense privilege of going to the Spotify and Hollywood Reporter party to celebrate the Golden Globe Nominees for Best Podcast. We had a great time there. Then the two of us, as well as Ariana and Logan, we basically forced ourselves into a photo with François Arnold. Is that his name? From Heated Rivalry. It was great.

I'm the guy from the other two, too.

The guy was Drew Tarver from the other two. True Tarver. Hina Debrouhve. We basically forced this crazy photo. I don't know if anyone was as thrilled as the four of us I took the lead. I took the lead. I was like, You know what? I said, I will be the one who will shamelessly interrupt these famous people talking to get the photo because it needs to go on our Instagram. I went up. I don't think the guys were too pleased with me truly budding into their conversation, and they had every right to give me a gritted teeth smile, but it was worth it. It was worth it for the photo of the Graham, and now, hopefully, Roni will have a new boyfriend. We'll see, Roni.

Oh, I'm sure. Fingers crossed. Oh, I'm sure. I'm just what he's looking for. Yes.

Well, that being said, it's an exciting day also here because on top of taking photos with heated rivalry stars and on top of being reunited with our lovely Ariana Maddox, it's Also, the day that the tickets have gone on sale for the crappies. Speaking of Ariana, Ariana has been in some form or another at every single one of our live crappy shows. The next one is going to be on February 27th at the Fonda Theater in Los Angeles. Tickets are on sale now. They're on our website. They're on our social media. Go get them. Let's sell this thing out and have the best night ever. We're going to be giving out awards for everything on Bravo that we feel is award-worthy and even beyond. Love Island, Trader's, all that good stuff. Let's do this thing. Let's have fun. We're going to build a ballot. We're going to have a great night. It's going to be a night of memories, you all. So come and join us, you allsies.

Yes, That's going to be a great time. Also, Ad Free is now on Patreon. If you're looking for Ad Free, go over to Patreon. That's where you get it. Also, all of our episodes are there from the very beginning, which is hard to get on some platforms. So go over there. And also, that's where you get videos and bonus recaps. This week, we will be talking about The Traitors. We've got a busy day today. We've got Beverly Hills, we've got two episodes of The Valley, and we've got The Traitors. We're not going to shut the fuck up today. I hope you're ready I'm going to listen all weekend long, my little pets. All right, let's get to it. Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Season 15, episode 4, A Housewives E-wave. This show is struggling. I'm just going to start off this recap by saying this show needs some energy. It needs some life. Rachel Zoe might not have been the proper choice for that, even though I still enjoy Rachel Zoe, but I don't know. I'm starting to doubt.

Now, that said- Rachel Zoe is a friend I'm sorry. She does... When they cast her, I knew she was going to be a dud because this just isn't her vibe. She's very low-key, and Beverly Hills is at its weakest when it's focusing on their looks and leaning in to their fashion. I know that there are certain people who really like it, and that's nice. I feel like that should be a nice fringe benefit of Beverly Hills. But a lot of times that gets centered as being the only thing that's happening. When they cast Rachel Zoe, they were pretty much sending out a flair saying, This is going to be a dumb season. That's what they were doing. They were saying, This is going to be a season where they walk into rooms and squel at each other's outfits, and there'll be some minor dust-ups, but it's going to be a nothing. It's a shame because I thought last season was really good. I thought the last two seasons were really good. This one is just lifeless. I wonder if part of it is because it's on while you have Salt Lake City, which is basically a circus.

I complained the other day that Salt Lake may have to rein it in with some of these contrived, manufactured season finalities that they're trying to do, but at least they're trying to do something and they're having fun. But this show, I think there's a sense of self-satisfaction that what they're putting up there is interesting. I think I like all the players actually quite a bit, but the show itself is languid and just is lacking a pulse. It's dead on arrival.

Yeah. I mean, that said, they did bring in a new beach ball for the Seals to toss around, which is this desperate girl, the Money Queen. I mean, she's a wreck, and she's a horrible human being, which I love. She's new money trash. I'm loving watching them warm up to bully her for a whole… Because that's Beverly Hills. They find someone, they bully them, and that's it. They found somebody, and it's good. It seems like she's deserving. It seems like it's someone who's deserving of bullying, which, listen, I love some deserved bullying. I think there should be amendments to the Trevor Project. But Yeah. It seems like that's going. I will say, I still enjoy the show. I mean, it is just an easy, breezy show to get through, but they just could be doing so much more. I know it's only episode 4, and I know that we need to give the new people some time to warm up, and maybe Rachel Zoe will have a year, and the next year, come in swinging. I mean, I don't know.

But- That won't happen.

Yeah. It is fun watching the destruction of Sutton and Jennifer's relationship because Sutton is, yet again, pushing someone way too far, way too fast, and she's going to get it because you're not doing Jennifer some huge favor by having her on this show. No. I think Sutton probably has that feeling of like, Well, I brought you on this show. It's like, No, ma'am. This is the bride of Chucky. How dare you? Have some respect. You are talking to an Oscar nominee.

Yes. Also, you could also do a conspiracy theory that Kyle Richards, she basically produces the show, and she calls the If this theory were false, she would have been probably off the show a while ago because she's, honestly… She just gives us what is like the... She manufactures and puts it in a bow and gives it to us. I'm like, Look, I'm being honest with you guys, but it's really not. If you look at it, all of a sudden, this crew has slowly been dismantled over the past few years, where it's now down to just, what's her face? Jennifer. You don't have Garcelle, you don't have Crystal. There really wasn't much more beyond that. But the point was that, like, Sudden, there was a moment there where Sudden was making a... She was making a play to move to the center of this cast, and Box Force 5 has continued to reign supreme. Something has got to be done. I don't know what it is. It's just, I don't know. But I do have to say, Amanda Francis, on any other season, on any other show, I'd be like, get this. Oh, God, this one's terrible also because she is an asshole.

She's clearly I don't think it's a fraud, but she's the asshole and the fraud that this cast really needs because watching her annoy every single one of the cast mates just made me happy. Every time they give her a side eye, I just laugh. I was like, You deserve this, people. You brought this on yourselves. You brought on Amanda Francis because you guys are too protected. You're too protective of yourself and you're too self-producing. This is what you get. You get Amanda Frances. Deal with her.

Yeah. Deal with it, suckers. All right, well, let's get into it. Here we go. We open with Boze, a mom-daughter driving scene. Like, Oh, my God! You're driving so crazy. This is nuts. I have a daughter, a daughter who drives. What am I going to do?

Then we go to Rachel, and she's sitting by her pool, and she's talking to Kias. Kias, tell me about Camp Kias. Tell me about everything. How was camp? Tell me everything, Kias. No, Rachel.

Kias is- Rachel, you tell me more about camp, as in give me more, okay? I don't need you sitting in your flip flops by your pool every episode talking to fucking Kias, okay? What did Kias go through a screen test for this show? Is Kias a new housewife? I need less Kias and more- Bias. Crazy from you. More Kias. I was going to say- Less Kias.

More bias.

Oh, I thought you said pious, but I was like, Pius doesn't make sense. Bias makes sense. Bias makes sense. I need something. I need something. I need something with your flowy caftans. Also, what are you hiding? I feel like Rachel is a caftan person. What is she hiding? I I feel like it's like Meredith Marks' Blazers, where she even wears swimsuits with a Blazer jacket. Remember how I thought for years, she secretly had Penguin arms or something? I was like, What are you hiding under the Blazers? We didn't see her arms for literally, I think, 80 episodes. I'm wondering that with Rachel. What's happening? Are you just ahead on a popsicle stick? What are you hiding?

She's hiding so much. She's like, Kias, I don't think it could get any higher. You're IQ and your EQ are so high. You couldn't be more perfect. I'm serious. I'd die. I'd die for your IQ. I'm going to call it dieQ because it's just I'd die for it. Be safe, okay? Stop picking your face and have a best time, okay, Kias? Don't pick your face. You got too much of an EQ to pick your face. Okay, guys. Kai. Kai.

Then we go over to Erica's house, Erica doing laundry, which, you know what, gives me joy. I'm just going to say I love watching Erica do menial tasks. I feel like she deserves it. You know? Yeah. She's doing her laundry, and she's checking the lint filter and she's like, Oh, my God!

Who hadn't cleaned the lint filter? This is disgusting. Who did it?

You. What are you going to do? Blame Mikey? Where is Mikey, by the way? Haven't we seen Mikey? We've seen Laia, but we haven't seen Mikey.

Yeah, you're right. While the season's still young, he'll come around. He always comes around. She only has three people in her life.

You think Mikey is sick of getting blamed for that fucking lint trap? Like, Badge.

I just hit go on the dry machine and see what happens. I love running the risk of fire because this machine is fire badge.

You are fire badge. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappin's commercial. Then we go over to Sutton's house, and Sutton's arranging a tea set. She's like, I've had gone it. I haven't put cheese set. That's okay. You know what? But she really likes cheese. Jennifer likes cheese. I need to get some cheese. And so Jennifer comes over and she's like, Oh, my gosh, you got me cheese.

How fabulous.

I feel like I'm in England. This is fabulous.

So they go and they sit down and Sutton tells us, I've changed my drinking habits over the past few months. I took some time off and I just wanted to regroup. So now I'll have a glass of wine or a glass of champagne that I can enjoy. And it's just a change of lifestyle. Again, I say, you guys brought this on yourself, and look, now you guys are having a boring season because you shamed Sutton out of enjoying her tequila in the afternoon.

Now, that's not what Sutton can't pour fucking Tito goes into her, her cheerios. Okay, you did this, you guys. This is you.

Yes. Let our wasps just be wasped and have their afternoon tipple.

These housewives shame everybody for being an alcoholic and then wonder why their shows get boring. Can we shame people for other things? Jeez. Yeah, seriously. Then we go to Jennifer's confessional, and she's like, Well, I just had a bit of an afternoon tipple.

Now, I think I've lost My drinking companion, but it's okay. It's a positive thing for her. I don't know if you've ever been around a sober Sutton, but it's challenging. It's challenging times we're living in.

She's like, It's not as much fun to wear a caftan if the other person isn't drinking something.

Then Sutton is like, Well, I've had a very, very, very busy morning. Those flowers in the vase, they used to be on a different part of the table, and I moved them. Busy morning.

Busy morning, Jennifer. I just woke up, actually.

It's 1: 00 PM. Sutton's like, Well, I've been busy I'm planning a trip for myself somewhere I've always wanted to go to, Sedona, and I'm inviting everyone. Jennifer's like, Oh, okay.

You're inviting everyone. Well, so it won't be so relaxing. If it'll be nice, we'll meld our feminine energy.

And Sutton's like, yes, Sedona is a place of healing. It's a place of jeeps that you get into, healing jeeps, pink healing jeeps. I think all of us have some healing to do.

I've always wanted to go somewhere be peaceful, somewhere where women can just be women being peaceful. God, I want to drink. Poor Sutton trying to have this season where she's going to be sober and peaceful is hilarious. This cannot last more than two more episodes. I just don't see it. No, and it Also, she's already got the attitude of someone who's trying to drink, or trying to drink less for five minutes. Listen, I've been there. I get it. But she looks extremely stressed out by the end of this episode. Like, I will not drink too much. God damn it, Amanda, you don't know where I come from, shit. It's like, Oh, my God. Just get her an IV. Get her something.

Yeah. So, Sudden saying that she wants to bring everyone to Sedona. She also wants to work with her relationship with Dorit. She goes that she says that they've gotten to a place where we're safe and cordial. I really think I can become friends with Doreet. I really think we can do that in Sedona, where I can become friends with her and then yell at her and then cry in her face and accuse her of being a bad friend. That'll It'll probably happen, right?

So we see them talking about divorce and how Sutton was like, You know what? You will come ashore. You will survive this. You'll just have to get through it. And one day, you're going to wake up. It's going to be a new day. You're going to walk to that mailbox, and you're going to have a letter from the Pope telling you that your last name is now Bram. Bram. All the names.

At a certain point, when you get divorced, you just get associated with a corporate logo I was given UPS, and that's fine. That is my lot in life. So Sutton says, I think with Doreet, we are touching on a few friend points.

Yes, yes, yes.

You don't want to barge in like, I'm going to be your friend. You don't want to just come in like that, Sutton.

Yeah, you just don't want to be overboard about it. I'm your friend now.

I was like, Well, I wouldn't do that. That's not what this is about, Jennifer. I would appreciate it if you didn't mock me.

She's like, I'm not mocking you. I'm just having a drink right now, something that you used to do with me. Well, don't say, Don't go in there.

Okay? I'm not going to. I'm not going to go in there and be like that. I'm not going to be aggressive. I'm not going to act like that, Jennifer. Which is, by the way, exactly what Sutton is going to do.

It's exactly what she's going to do. One thing we know from Sutton's first season is that she is going to go in there because that was her first struggle on the show with Crystal, remember? Walking into her room. Crystal's like, I am naked. How dare you? I'm triggered. So Sutton, Jennifer is like, Well, I'm just reiterating what you're saying.

I'm not saying anything more than that. I'm just grateful for the cheese.

Sure. Jennifer tells us, With Satin, sometimes I think that she gets all worked up and it's anxious or something like that, and sometimes she hurts people that she doesn't mean to hurt.

I described her once as she's like a Catherine wheel, that firework that spins around and around. You put it in a tree and the smacks go everywhere and it burns down. Then sometimes you just get hit by the smacks. Yeah.

You're talking about an abusive relationship, by the way. Anybody who's got lifetime has heard this speech before.

He doesn't mean it. I mean, he's a teen heart throb named Rob Lowe. Surely he doesn't mean to be hurtful, but he did chase me I'm down the street with a knife, but I'm sure that he didn't mean it.

Yeah. Get out of there.

She's like, Well- Let's not put sparklers in trees. I'm just going to say that right now. Let's not put sparklers in trees. No more Katherine wheels.

Well, we don't even need Katherine wheels with neighbors like mine. In Texas, I have neighbors who literally sit on the street. They pull out lawn chairs, and then I'll put them on their lawn, okay? They put them on the street, and they sit there, and they set off their fireworks, and the fireworks hit everybody else's houses. The first year I was there, they hit my neighbor's house, and a bush started on fire. They were just sitting there watching the fucking bush on fire with their kids. I was like, Okay, you know what? Next year, I'm going to come out here, and I'm going to aim fireworks at your children. I'm going to sit directly across the street. Who are you? Who does this?

I think- I think, I think, you're a family of Catherine wheels. Yeah, seriously. And you got a flat tire. Okay. Listen, if fireworks done professionally with a company, that's great. The backyard fireworks, the street fireworks, you're trash. I'm sorry, I'm just saying that right now. I am tired today. Well, I'm not tired, but I'm just saying I didn't get a lot of sleep last night, so it's all coming out. That's what's happening, okay? Which is that I have to say, I'm taking a stance on fireworks. If you're doing fireworks in the street, you're trash. Congratulations. You shot off one fireworks, and you had a very pathetic display of pyrotechnics in the sky. Why are you trying to do this? Why are you doing this? You're annoying every single other person. Because the thing is with professional fireworks, you generally know when they're going to happen. But with fireworks in the street, you'll just be in your living room doing something, and then all of a sudden, an explosion goes off. You're like, I wasn't prepared for that. Why are you doing that for me? Now, you also probably caught something on fire. Trash. I'm sorry.

Yeah. Well, the same neighbors have these little kids, and they had lemonade stands. I used to buy lemonade from these kids. They I never said thank you. By the way, that lemonade was $10, so fuck those kids. They would sell honey for $20, and I would buy it, and they never even said thank you. That whole family, I should firework your whole house.

Firework them. That would be a good use of fireworks. Just set up a Catherine wheel right over their front door. Just got to bump them in the head as it goes around as they walk out the side.

Well, I think that's too threatening when you have a child. I'm just going to go. Next time, I'm just going to dress like a really sad clown. I'm going to stand on their front lawn holding a sparkler.

Just start calling them Katherine, and they'll be like, Why are you calling me Catherine? You're like, It's a reference to a stupid firework from medieval times. It's my way of dissing you.

Jennifer says, Well, Satin, your intentions are good, and that's all that matters. She's like, Well, the road to heaven is paved with good intentions. No, the road to hell is paved with good intentions. She's like, Oh, well, get out of my house. I bought cheese for you.

This is the moment that- Jezebel Cheater, Betrayer, Judith. This is the moment that son realized she was going to hell. She's like, But you mean all this time I was making a road with good intentions? It wasn't going to heaven? I've been going the wrong way. How long will I be going down this highway?

Now we go to Dorit's kitchen where she is prepping her dog food in those bronze bowls, copper bowls. I don't know what you would I don't call them. They're fancy bowls. I think they're very nice. I mean, they're like home goods fancy, but they're still nice. I mean, look, I felt like I should compliment her dog bowl. I really like them. I thought they were cute.

It was a nice moment. I felt like you were being very inclusive in that moment. She lets Kyle in because she's like, Guys, my friend Kyle's coming over, so you'll probably smell her dogs.

Please don't go crazy barking.

I always think this is really funny. Okay, as long as I'm ranting and I'm alienated… Well, I've already alienated the fireworks contingent of our audience. I apologize. I was I clearly got triggered by this whole Catherine Reel situation. I have another pet peeve about pet owners. I'm not even going to say it's dog owners. I just see it more with dog owners, but people would do it with their cats, too. I understand everyone talks to their pets, of course. That's fun. Everyone talks to their pets. It's really fun. But what I don't understand are when people, what's the right word? Are trying to-Murder? Not murder. When people are trying to murder. No. When you're trying to reprimand your pet, if your dog is jumping up too much, if your dog is being too aggressive to someone who's coming to the house, and you're trying to pull your dog back or whatever, or the dog is doing something in public that's crazy. I always think it's funny when dog owners reprimand them by trying to speak logic to them. Hear Dorit saying, Okay, Hey, you guys, you probably smell her dog, so please don't jump up.

As if the dog is going to hear that sentence, understand every word in it or any word in it, and be like, Oh, she makes a good point. We should probably be chill. I get the casual, you talk to your dogs because that's just pet ownership. It's like you have a… There's a proxy relationship there. I would talk to my cat when I had a cat. But I was at a friend's house, and his dog was going crazy and running all over the place. The dog's The tail was wagging, knocking over glasses. My friend was like, Listen, you really have to stop. You have to stop. You're really out of control. I need you to really stop. I was like, The dog doesn't know. The dog doesn't know this. Why are you doing this? Why are you talking like that? It understands It does not understand tones. It does not understand sentences. Okay.

Okay. So Ben is just basically advocating for people to beat their dogs, is what he just said. I'm advocating for- On national podcast radio.

I'm advocating for better use It's better tools of reprimanding, so that way it's effective. I'm not advocating for abuse, but I'm advocating for something more than trying to have a logical conversation with an animal that does not be any human language.

No, I do it all the time. No, I do it to my dog all the time, and you know I do. I'll be like, now, is this what we want to do? I don't like this. I don't like this behavior. But I do think that they hear the tone, which is… That's the thing. They can hear the nagging in the tone. Then that switch is when he doesn't listen, it switches to, God damn, I'm going to fucking kill you. He knows what that means, too.

No, it's like, of course, I understand that casual thing of like, Okay, what are you doing right now? But there are some people who it's not just that. They really just think that all they say is, Hey, what are you doing? Why are you doing? When they're really supposed to be reprimanding. It's one thing to be having that casual, jokey conversation you have with your pet. But I am shocked at the number of people who really, I think, sincerely think they are making a change in their pets' lives, whether it's a cat, too. It could be a cat, too. I thought, you know what? No. In fact, it's not a dog thing. No, I was at my friend's house recently, and the cat kept on jumping on the counter, and my friend was like, You have to stop doing this. I don't know why you're doing this. I'm like, The cat can't hear you.

The cat doesn't know what you're saying. No, I'm telling you, they do understand. I have conversations where he He knows he's about to do something bad, go through the trash can. Take something out of the trash can and start eating it. I'll see him look at it, and I'll say, What are you doing? Then he'll look back at me and be like, What? Then he'll go towards the trash can. I'm like, Really? Then he'll look at me like, What are you going to do? Then he'll put his head in the trash can. I'm like, Are we really going to do that? Do you really want to die right now? Why do you want to die right now? You have so much to look forward to. You haven't even applied to colleges yet. Why are you dying? He'll slowly drop it down and walk away. I think that they do. They do hear.

I think they hear tone. I guess what I'm trying to say is there are a lot of people who don't really change their tone. They just continue to talk to the dog as if They… As if the dog can hear the specific words.

The dog understands words. I think we all know there's a- I'm telling you, dogs are just underestimated. They know full dictionaries. Or cats.

I'm bringing it out to cats, too, because I swear to God, I did have a cat I had this cat experience last week, an adorable cat, but the cat kept on jumping on things. I'm telling you, it's just so funny to me that people just talk to their animals as if it's going to make any change. Again, I'm separating this from normal pet talk because I know we all talk to our pets. But this is like, I'm like, at a certain point, you have to, you switch into, I'm the boss of this house, right? And like, there's some people just don't do it. Not really. I'm like, what?

No one with the cat has ever thought We all knew who the boss of this house is, and it is not me, okay? It has never been me. So, speaking of being the boss of their own home, Doreet lets Kyle in because Kyle comes over, and Kyle's like, Oh, my God, are there no kids right now? Hold on. Let me text PK. She's like, No, they're in Florida. They're in Florida right now. I've allowed them to go. Jigger just wasn't himself. It was to the point where I I had to wear a name tag that said, Hello, your name is Jigger. I didn't even know who he was. When he left, he said, Goodbye, Jigger. I said, Who are you?

Where did that P. K. Go? Did P. K. Go? A trick question. I already know the answer to that, but I'll pretend like I don't.

No, I sent them. I sent them without P. K. Even knowing. What do you think of that? I said, Go, run. That unbaked croissant calling you son isn't calling you. Run, Jigger. Yeah. Run. And take the neighbor girl with you.

So you said, Fine. Or did PK sign off on both the kids being able to go? What's the situation? And Dorit saying, The kids are with my parents in Florida, having the best time, the best time in an elderly community in Florida, just like what kids want, to be close to Disney World without actually going to Disney World.

I should be at ease, and I should be taking care of myself, finally. But instead, I'm riddled with anxiety about the kids, about finances, because I lost 65,000 more dollars in cash in a big box store. And what PK is doing? I mean, how many Pringles is he eating right now? This is the worst feeling to live with. That It's a feeling that you live with for 24,7.

I might be dying here alone, but at least I know that Jigar has discovered something called Bunku. Commercials.

Here comes one right now. Doreet is making this dog food, and Kyle's just staring at it. Doreet's like, So did you speak?

Did you speak with Mo? Did you speak with Mo about PK? Do you have any gossip? You're my girlfriend. You have to prove yourself as a girlfriend, so you have to tell me the gossip that the guy said.

Kyle, of course, the friend that she is is like, No, I did not do this thing for you. Normally, I don't think it's actually Kyle was under any obligation to do this, but given that Kyle has been reprimanded several times for being a bad girlfriend, I feel like she should have stepped up to the plate in this case.

Well, and we see that when they were together a week ago, Doreet said, Listen, there's one thing about him saying, P. K, listen, you got to stop. Maybe you can speak to Mo. Maybe you can speak to Mo, Kyle, and you can get advice of what he thinks. How do I get through to P. K. And Boze was like, Oh, Kyle, is that something you'd feel comfortable doing? And Kyle was like, Of course, of I'll do that. Of course, of course, no problem. I'll do that. It doesn't make it a big deal that Kyle is just like, No, why would I talk to him? I didn't do that.

So Kyle.

She's like, Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's my story. Say it again. What?

It She didn't advance my story, so why would I talk to Mo?

Yeah. She's like, Oh, yeah. Okay. Well, I do want to talk to him, but right now I'm going to walk back and forth around this island like I'm actually preparing something in your kitchen because I'm really uncomfortable around you. Did you notice she was doing that? She was doing like when you have people over and you're in your kitchen and you're getting stuff together for your friends. It's like you're talking, but you're putting the charcuterie or doing whatever. Carl is doing that like it's her kitchen. She's so uncomfortable around to read.

I love it. She was creating kinetic energy around that kitchen island in a way that I did not appreciate. She's like, No, I do want to talk to him. I do. I want to know how do you think he can help? If you still think that, I was wondering how you think I could help, which is her way of saying, I I don't want to do this, and I don't understand why I'm doing this. If you can give me any good explanation for why I should be doing this, maybe I'll do it, but I'm not going to do it. That's what she was saying right in that moment.

Yeah, and she's like, Well, honey, honey, honey. I'm I meant my weed-thin. I'm in my weed-thin. She goes, Okay, well, then we can maybe figure something out. Well, Kyle, I was serious, Kyle. I don't think you quite grasped how out of control Pekee is. He's out for blood, and the blood he's out for is very high in sugar content. Very high, Kyle. It's gout infected. It's like that to me. It's the hardest part, Kyle. The hardest part, Kyle. Seeing potato chips that haven't been touched in the pin tree. You know what it's like.

The other day, I had to FaceTime PK, and he had blood coming out of his mouth. I said, Why do you have so much blood on your mouth? He said, It's actually the red gel stuff they put on an ice cream cake at TC BY. I had no idea what that meant, but he wanted a lot of it.

She's making dog food really furiously now. She's like, Coyle, I need your support, Coyle. Kyle's like, I mean, it doesn't even sound like it's being a. It's like, Coyle, you don't even know him. You think you know P. K? Do you know the inside of P. K? Do you know the plaqu-covered soul that is P. K, Coyle?

She's like, I know, but it's like, if I said that about Mo? You'd be shocked. What about Mo?

She's like, Well, yes, but I wouldn't doubt anything that you would tell me, Kyle.

She's like, Well, I am not doubting you. But Kyle continuing to be the worst girlfriend of all time. The amount that Kyle demands of her girlfriends and yet how reluctant she is to show for Dorit. This is now the second season in a row she's acting like this.

Dorit's like, I would immediately say, Oh, my God, Kyle. I want to kill him. Gee, what an asshole. What a jerk. I can't believe. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Then I I'm throwing a scream like, and you know, things like that.

Well, I'm sorry, I didn't react the way that you wanted me to react, but I didn't mean it like that. And then she tells us, Yeah, I just don't think it's smart to be speaking about your ex so publicly. I mean, it's going to make your separation and divorce down the line. It's going to make it more difficult.

It's so great to hear from the champion of being open and honest once again. I'm I'm so glad that she's run off a few people from this show because they weren't being open and honest enough. Clearly, what people need to be is open and honest, unless it's your shit, in which case you actually hedge a little bit because it could be bad for something. I'm just so glad to see Kyle operating in full open honesty.

Yeah, Kyle, the lead housewife on this show, is like, Oh, my God, why are you talking about this on a reality TV show? Doreet finally puts that dog food down. It has been so overmixed.

It's taking so long. Yeah.

If that was cookie dough, it wouldn't even have a chance. It's just totally overmixed. Kyle's like, Okay, well, I guess we'll see what we can say to Mo, I mean, sometimes it takes a friend to say the hard things to make you listen. But just remember, he's coming hearing only PK's side, and PK is basically saying that, you know. Mo said that he's hearing the complete opposite and that Doreet He's putting him through a really hard time and making it really hard for him to see the kids. And to me, it's like, The reason why P. K. Is saying this is because he knew it's not going to be a good look if he's not around. I mean not that it's ever mattered to him that it's not a good look to wear Dockers that are made out of spandex that are three sizes too low for you. What are you, the wrapping on a potato, Dockers?

Why is Kyle so shitty? She's being so shitty right now. Here she is being… Dorit is saying, PK is making my life hell. He's out of control. Kyle is like, Oh, well, because he's saying you're out of control. Kyle is acting like, Maybe we should rethink this because he says you're out of control. So maybe you're the one who's out of control. That's the implication here. Or the implication is you're going nuts or whatever. Kyle is… She's already asserted to some degree that she's being a good friend because she's going to be… It's a good friend confronting someone with a hard truth, which is very funny because when that mirror is held up to Kyle, she is not happy about it whatsoever. But I just think this is the second year in a row where Kyle has really not been a girls' girl about this. She has reluctantly cut off, you know, contact with PK, which I don't even believe that she has. No, I don't. And now, she's just, she still just finds ways to stick up for him in little… If you want to do it privately, fine. But when you're with your girlfriend, you should just be all about team Doreet right now.

I firmly believe that, and not trying to be like, Well, but PK says that you're being the crazy one.

Yeah, well, you asked, Why is she doing that? I think the reason that she's doing that is because she 100% believes what PK is saying. I think that she's seen their relationship, and I think that in her opinion, Doreet is crazy. Doreet acted crazy in her relationship with PK. She drove him away. You know that whole season when PK is like, All I'm trying to do is do something romantic for you, babe, and all you care about is your glam. You know when he did the pretty woman thing with Welcome Berlin?

Berlin.

Yeah. That whole season where he was just such a victim because Doreet only wants the money, and that's all she cares about. I think that Kyle firmly believes that. I think she thinks Doreet's an asshole, Doreet's crazy, and now, you know. Which is true. Pk was right to leave. I think that... I don't know whether that's a valid opinion or not, because I'm not close enough to that Obviously, I just watch it on TV. But I totally 100% agree with you that Kyle is a terrible friend. Like she said last year, she's not really even friends with Doreet. She knows Doreet from being a couple and being on the show, but she doesn't even go hiking with Doreet. I think she's like, no, PK is funnier. I like PK, so fuck off.

I think you're right. I think that… It sounds like Kyle really does think that Doreet is too much because the thing is that Kyle has issues with Doreet in her own relationship with Dorit. She can't help but side with PK on some of these issues. But that being said, if you feel that way, if you do feel like Doreet may be the one who's more at fault for the relationship falling apart, then don't get so upset when people accuse you of being a bad girlfriend or anything like that. I mean, admittedly, Kyle did say, Well, I'm really not that good friends with her. But it's like she can't just pick the lane and stick with it. It's like you either do the, Honestly, guys, I'm friends with Dorit, but we were never really that close, which, by the way, was a lie because obviously, they were close. But if you don't really… If you think that Dorit is the one who's at fault here, then stop pretending like you want to be the girls girl for her. Yeah, you're right. She's now caught up with this image that she has where people don't think she's a girls girl anymore.

Now she's got to prove that she's a girls girl when she's really not… Her heart's not in it.

Yeah, agreed. I do think it's from Kyle's past relationship with Dorit that She's taking PK's side. Because from what Kyle said in the past, when she had a problem with Dorit, it's like Doreet takes these little things, and she's making this huge thing, and she won't stop harping on it, and she's trying to ruin my reputation, Kyle's reputation. She's trying to ruin me over these stupid little things and making me look bad, and none of it's true. She's exaggerating everything. I think she's taking that and saying, Okay, well, she's doing that to PK, too. My opinion is that Kyle and PK are both dicks. That's That's what Dorit has been reacting to. But yeah, I think that Kyle's not really on Dorit's side, but I think you're right. She's just playing it for the audience. You can't have it both ways, Kyle, unfortunately. Dorit is saying he doesn't even want to see the kids. It's like he's gone for a month, and then he flies in town without telling everybody and just like, Okay, well, I want the kids. But they have a schedule, and they have school, and they have God knows what they have after school.

I mean, they're Dorit's kids, so I'm sure it's ballet, tap, jazz, piano, violin, cello. I'm sure it's nothing to do with financial EQ. Financial IQ. But she was like, You can just drop in whenever you want. You dick. Right.

So Kyle's asking what the plan is for next steps with this situation.

She's like, Well, I've been trying to do mediation for months, and he keeps pushing it and pushing it and pushing it. Little jabs, little jabs.

And Kyle's She's like, So you're saying you won't even do mediation? Have you asked Andy Cohen, Can he do it for you? Because I mean, you can't fight that battle alone.

She's like, Yes, but if PK and I can't come to some agreement, we're going to have to go to court. If we go to court, things become public and ugly, and it's war. I don't think PK wants that. I know I definitely don't want that at all.

She is basically saying, Maybe I need to speak to Mo, which probably, by the way, Dorit probably wanted to just go directly to Mo first, but she knows she wouldn't be allowed to do that because Kyle would bite her head off, even though Kyle has no problem sending memes and hanging out with PK. Dorit probably had to go through this whole rigmarole of asking Kyle to do it first, knowing Kyle would never do it until Kyle would come back being like, Could you do it instead? Because I don't want to be in this situation. Now, Dorit is saying that she's floating this idea that maybe I need to be the one to speak to Mo because if there's anything that Mo can say, maybe I actually need to tell Mo the truth and the reality, which, by the way, this is not going to work either because he's going to be either stoned or he's just going to be focused on his phone, and it's going to be bros before hos. Good luck with that, Dorit.

Yeah, he's just going to be like, , okay. I'll take the shrimp scampy. Okay, this was fun.

I have to go to Coachella now. I got to go see a six-set with Post Malone and Allison Ray. Can we wrap this up?

Yeah, Now, Dorit is going to go speak with Mo. Good luck with that. Now, we go to Rachel. Guess what Rachel is doing? It's another Rachel and her son, Ky, is seeing, Can't wait. Oh my God. She's picking her kid up from camp. She's like, Oh, my God. Being late is my worst nightmare because with my mom, I was always the last kid. I was always waiting. It's so hard being a five-year-old in a caftan in flip flops, waiting for your mom to show up. Statement necklaces are much heavier when you're a child.

It was hard. I love this backstory on her. Her mom was late. She said, Kaya, oh, my God, here I am. I'm here. I'm on time. Kaya, am I the last one here? Oh, my God. I'm reliving my mom's trauma. Oh, my God. Kaya. He gets in the car, and she's like, Tell me everything. This is the longest we've gone without talking. How was it? How was camp? He's like, Yeah, camp was good. I moisturized every day, every day and night. What?

He's I'm trying to get that summer glow up, Mom. Yeah, the juggles and the struggle is real because I'm a mom. People ask me all the time, How do you balance it? How do you? I'm like, I fucking don't. I don't have a nanny. I'm hands-on, but I'm also a CEO. I don't know if you've been to Homegoods, but I have pillows. They're made out of fur. They're right behind me, actually. You can see them on my office. Look, faux fur, Rachel Zoe pillows. They're amazing. You know what that style is called? Dead. It's just called dead. Do you know how hard that is to balance? I don't balance. I fall down, mentally. Physically, I don't fall down. That's why I wear flip flops. I love flip flops. What are we talking about? I have a son. His name is Kias. You want to meet him? He moisturizes. By the way, his father's a real son of a bitch. Don't say, I told you. Kias, do you moisturize? Oh, my God. Someone called the funeral home. I just died.

You know what's so funny? I got here in Jordan, and now he grew up to be a moisturizer. I'm so proud. All I I always thought I was going to have one child, and I'll be like, A girl. A girl, and then I'd die. I named the girl Bananas because the girl would be bananas. That I have a girl. That I want a girl. That I have a girl. Then all I want to do is dress my daughter like baby couture, and then just have her moisturize herself. But you know what? We make plans, and the universe laughs, and then the universe moisturizes. Here I am, moisturizes my mom. You know what?

You know what we're going to do? Watch me balance this. Okay, check this out. I'm in a kitchen. There's bananas in front of me, literal bananas. There's Rachel I have a lot of zoopillows behind me. I've got a son, a son who moisturizes. Now, watch this balancing act. Ky, let's call Sky Sky. Oh, my God. How does she do it all? Seriously. How does she do it all? She's a CEO.

She's a CEO. She's a moisturizer, and she's got a kid, and she's going to call someone named Sky. Sky, sky. How's it in Hamptons? Sky. Do they have moisturizer there? What moisturizer are they using? Are you using your moisturizer, Sky? Sky. Sky, Sky.

Sky, Sky. The name, He named so nice. I named it twice, Sky, Sky. He's like, I'm chilling. My friend just got a Razor-like bike. That's really cool. She goes, It's not an E-bike, is it? Because literal death. That's literal death. Okay, Sky-Sky? Literal death. Sky-sky. I don't want you doing that because you're going to end up in the grand ground. Okay, Sky-Sky? Please stop it.

Sky, Sky. So Sky, Sky wants a Razor? Does that mean we have to call you Sky Razr? Oh, my God. Nothing is everything. Seriously, Sky, I die. I die for that. He's like, Yeah, well, it's an E-bike, and it's small. It's just Kias is. Oh, my God. Kias is small, but his is moisturized. Is yours moisturized? If yours isn't moisturized, I can't. I can't, I can't juggle that. I can't juggle it at all. I can't balance and juggle it.

She's like, I'm not doing the ER with you again. If you even say ER in this group, Kyle Richards won't shut up, okay? She had another face back then. It's so rough to talk about. It's so hard to talk about a period in my life, of my friend's life, where she was wearing scrubs every day. I mean, it's disgusting. Please don't take me back there, Sky You were hospitalized once. You can't be hospitalized again. Okay, please. We see pictures of him in the hospital after being on an E-bike. He's like, Whatever, Mom. I'm a man. Yeah, fuck, yeah. I'm a dude. Yeah. Flavor Town. I'm going to Flavor Town, Piaat. Sucking, Mom. He's got a theory.

Yeah. Literally, Flavor Town. I die for Flavor Town. I never thought I needed to go there, but I'm there. You know what they serve there? Bananas, because that's what it is. Don't get me wrong, having boys is the I'm not going to say the most exhausting thing ever, but I wouldn't trade it for anything, except for maybe an extra thing of moisturizer. I would do it for that. Then I would get the moisturizer back. I'd be like, I want my boys. I'd die for my boys. Take this moisturizer. I want boys.

Ky Ky, tell Sky Sky not to drive the backpack, please.

Please, please. It's like, Oh, my God. I'd like to exchange this Loubitur for one Sky and one Ky, please. Thank you very much.

She's like, Oh, my God. I didn't even hear anything past E-bike. What else did he say?

You know what? They see me as their real princess. They're so protective, even if I'm screaming at them to get their dirty socks off the table or to stop leaving crumbs all over the place because they eat with their mouths open. Or for those times, they come downstairs and like, Yeah, have even moisturized. They're still like, they treat me like their princess. They lift me up. That's what they do. They hold me when I don't even realize I need holding. Rachel, you always need holding. You always look like you're about to fall over. She's like, She is like a Jenga puzzle, 95% the way through. About one little brick. She's got one brick left. She has one brick left.

Now Jennifer and Sutton are on their way to Kathy Hilton's.

So who's coming to Kathy Hilton's party tonight?

It's going to be them and Amanda. She's like, Oh, Amanda.

I'm sure that Kathy's going to enjoy Amanda. You know that she She once had a reality show called Beverly Hills Bum Makeovers? I don't know. That's neither here nor there.

But Amanda does need a little help.

I like Amanda because it's still episode four or five or so. We're about to turn the corner on her, but for right now, I like her, and I think she can be shy and reserved, but she seems smart, and she's younger. I like that. Okay, Sutton needs to start drinking again because she's lying. She's lying. She's lying. Never in the history of Sutton has she ever said she liked someone, and one of the reasons why is because she's younger. That does not work with Sutton, Sutton Brown or Sutton Strack. She's like, I like that. She's pretty. She's young and pretty, and she has so much potential, and she's in a healthy marriage. I like that about her. I just love that. Not lying, Sutton.

God, I love that. The way she's saying it with her evil cat eyes, she just gets this mean glint in her eyes, and she's got that glint in her eyes when she's talking. It's like, Wow, look at her. So young. Got a fresh perspective on things. I just can't wait to talk to Amanda and find out all the different ways she's been triggered or traumatized. I cannot wait to be called a gaslighter for the first time. Yey, youth. Yey, youth. Elbow dancing, elbow dancing, elbow dancing, ticky-tocky, elbow dancing. Can't wait.

Tick-tock.

We go to Kathy Hilton's house, and the staff is there, and Kathy is overseeing everything, and there's all sorts of food. Cathy is… She's like, Hi. I was thinking we could put some bee pollen on all the food. You know me when I get on a kick, a good old bee pollen kick, and Chef David is like, Oh, yeah, I got some bee pollen on there. Fucking bitch, I had a vision, and she just destroyed it. But Cathy is like… She's like, This is the super… I'm telling you guys, this is the superfood of the year. I'm telling you right now. The bees are like, Hello. We've been talking about honey and pollen for a long-ass time. Our lives are literally built around pollen, and now you're suddenly, quote, unquote, discovering it, Cathy Elton.

I don't think so, honey.

She's like, the new superfood. Pollin, people. It's pollen. So Carol, who I love, truck driver, Carol's like, All right, Kathy. She's like, stalking up there. What do we got? What are we thinking, Cath? What do we want to change around? She's like, Well, I see these little honey jars, and that's cute, but don't we have blue ribbon to put on them instead of the red ribbon? Can we do that? Could you maybe switch it to blue ribbon? She's like, Got it. Blue ribbon. God damn it, Chef David, do you want to die young? Get out here and change this motherfucking ribbon, David. What are you working for? Amateurs? You're working for Cathy fucking Hilton. Anything else, doll? Anything else? I don't know. I really don't like that bees have stingers because they really don't come off as soft as you really want them to at a part. David, get down here and pull the stingers off the motherfucking bees, David. All right, this is an amateur hour.

God damn it.

For the entire time, Carol is wearing one of those Ralph Lauren Teddy Bear sweaters to soften her image.

I know. That's what I love about her. So Cathy's like, Yeah, well, when I lived in New York, I used to work at the Waldorf. I was a waitress, and Rick was a bartender, so I saw the most beautiful parties. Oh, gosh. It was like art. I want my parties to be an experience, which is why the next time I see red ribbon, someone's going to get hung with it.

I know. Kathy is saying that she wants her parties to be an experience. It's like, Well, it wasn't a red… It wasn't an experience with the red ribbon, but then once it turned into blue ribbon, I was like, whoa, transported.

Totally different life.

Jennifer and Sutton arrive, and Jennifer is like, Hello.

How are you? How are you? Hello. Hello. Nice to meet you. That is charmed, charmed, charmed. I'm sure it's charmed. Hello, hello.

Everyone's showing up, and Sutton's like, Guess what? I got you a candle from the one place you haven't been to this summer, Marrakech. Cathy was just like, Okay, thanks very much for the Marrakech Candle.

We see that Cathy was in Naples, Italy, and Dallas, Texas this summer.

I should have wrapped up my smells like St. Lucia Candle. Sparkling water for Sutton. Look at that. Another fabulous day with Mrs. Brown. This should be fun.

Jennifer is like, Let's open as many bottles as we can tonight because maybe Amanda will want some cabernet. Kathy's like, Oh, I'm excited to meet her, which is a first, probably, of anyone ever saying that about Amanda.

Jennifer's like, Well, I met her briefly, and she came in to my party, and I had a Oh, you missed it.

Oh, yeah. I heard about your party. Then we see a flashback to the homeliest, homeliest nude models we've seen on Bravo in quite some time. Again, this show sometimes could take some notes from to medicine. They know how to do the nude model game.

Yes, they've got the good supplier for the strippers.

For sure.

Kathy's like, I would have been so embarrassed with penises showing.

Well, some people were going to flee.

Then Amanda comes, and she's like, Wow, are you talking about the penis party? Yeah. Oh, hello. I'm Cathy. Hello. God, you look extremely… Are you on sale? You look extremely tacky. Extremely tacky. I'm going to say that right. She just looks at her like, You're tacky. I don't know. I know. I don't know. This girl just reads tacky.

Cathy gives Amanda so many nasty looks in the scene. It's hilarious. Cathy's patented disapproval look is she'll be eating something at her plate, and then she'll have her head down, but she moves her eyes up to look at you. It's like when Cathy gives you that look, it's like, Oh, you've got five more seconds to prove yourself. She's like, Look at yourself, that you're worthy of her time, and then it's done forever. She glares. That's the look from Cathy.

She does glares. She'll be like, Look at me, just innocent Cathy. Lates her eyes. The producer asks Amanda, So this is your first time meeting Cathy. Have you heard of Cathy? She's like, I mean, she's Cathy fucking Hilton. Yeah, I've heard of her. Well, have you ever felt like a fish out of water in these fancy Beverly Hills situations? She's like, No. I feel like I belong in any room I want to be in.

Okay. We'll say that when you eventually have a court case. Do you feel like you belong in this courtroom?

Yeah.

So caviar is served.

It's for caviar.

It's There's some gluten-free crackers or whatever, or Bleanies. Amanda's like, Oh, my God. I have to be gluten-free, and caviar and cucumber slices is my favorite way. I have caviar every day, actually, guys. Sorry. I actually buy it. I'll go to the store, and then I'll go to the caviar store, and I'll just buy it.

Yeah, I have a problem biting my nails, and so I'll actually put caviar under my nails so that when I buy my nails, I get caviar, literally every second of the day, you guys. I'm totally a caviar person, too. By the way, did I mention I'm gluten-free? Because I am gluten-free. Even though this was just offered to me as a gluten-free thing, I need to stress that I am gluten-free. I don't know what it's like sinning with your gluten, but I know what it's like having cucumber with my caviar, which I have all the time.

There's this weird moment. She gets her caviar with the cucumber, and she just talks about it. She's like, Yeah, I had to figure that out. I had to figure out caviar and cucumber when I realized I was alerted to gluten.

It was so hard. I tried eating caviar with so many different things. Popsicles didn't work. Tires, didn't work.

It was a whole- It was a real R&D process for her. Then it goes over. It goes over to Sutton, and she takes one. She goes, Well, I'll just do the normal way. Then it cuts to Amanda, and it goes like,. Amanda is so angry that her view is being viewed as the non-normal, the abnormal way. Abnormal.

So, Carol comes over. She's like, Sorry to interrupt this gab fest, but dinner is ready to go, ladies. So head down to the summer We're going to be ladies today, everybody.

Sunday, Sunday, Sunday. There will be food.

Well, I've never stayed at a house this long. It's crazy. It's been 18 years. And Amanda goes, Yeah, that's a long time. When I bought Kyle's house, I thought, Yeah, it's just such a great house. I just thought I was going to renovate it and give it what it needed, which is everything, am I right? It's so tacky. But now that we're getting attached to it, I've made really beautiful decisions. Amek sent me a black card I had it on and so I covered it in glitter and photographed it and had it blown up to wall size, and now it's in my hallway. It's like crazy. A black card, that's right. By the way, black cards are gluten-free. I ate caviar off of one the other day. I did chip a tooth, but luckily, I had the tooth to replace with caviar. Oh, it does.

Kathy gives... When she says that she's made some really beautiful decisions on Kyle's house, Cathy gives her first layer. Her first layer. A really nasty look. Looks like... It was like, What's she doing? So Sutton goes, I'm starting to notice that Amanda might be the person to one up or measure up. She's got to make it known. I have that, too. I do that, too. Oh, I have that, too. That is correct. But also look at the person who's asked her, Kissing as Con Richards. That's literally her- Yes. That's her entire persona is walking to a party being like, Where'd you get that? You got that. Where'd you get that watch? You have that watch? Oh, my God. Let me look at your watch. Let me look at your watch. I'm getting that I'm getting the watch.

The house that Amanda is talking about renovating had Cathy Hilton's stolen floors, and Erica James' stolen pink neon, and Lisa Vanderpump's stolen a pink thing in the back, swing in the back. You're right. Yeah, she was like, dismantling all of the one-ups that Kyle had done. It's like a one-upper coming for a one-upper. It was really good.

Yeah. Then we see a montage of Amanda being an asshole. We now see them walking in 30 minutes earlier, and Jennifer's like, Oh, this is Kyle as Cathy's right-hand woman. Cathy goes, Left-hand, right-hand. Amanda goes, I have one of those. Yeah. Both metaphorically, and I also have a left-hand and a right-hand. So you can say I'm a big-hand person.

Yeah. Then 10 minutes earlier, Jennifer is like, I love eating outside. Yeah. I think we eat most meals outside during the summer in my house. Yeah, both houses. Both of my house. I have two houses and 10 cars. Sometimes we'll eat outside in a car. Does that count being outside? Because the car is not in the garage of one of the two houses. It's like a jaguar. No, we'll be in a Rolls-Royce. Yeah, we'll be in a Rolls-Royce. It's outside. Or sometimes we'll eat outside in a car in front of a... I'm going to build another house inside my other house so I can be outside two houses at the same time.

And that house, I'm going to make beautiful choices with that house, too. Just want to say.

Yeah. So now we come back, and Kathy's like, Sometimes when people talk a lot, I just I tune out. I tune out. But she's not tuning out. She's listening to every little thing, and Amanda's just going on and on. She's like, Yeah, now that Kyle's house is almost done, I'm like, I'm sure we're selling this house. It was just so ugly. The memories are traumatic. But we're going to get rid of it, but I'm like, I'm like, I just made this so amazing. We just finished the tennis courts last week. Do you have those? I do. I have a pick-a-ball. And pick-a-ball. You can play pick-a-ball on them, too. You can ice skate on them, which is crazy. You can land planes on my tennis courts. It's like a helipad spaceship in the tennis court, pickleball, high-skating rank.

We invited John McEnroe over, and we said, Sit in this puddy, and we made a mold of his butt. That way, every chair that's around the tennis court perfectly fits John McEnroe. That way, if John McEnroe ever gets cloned, and all of his clones come to see us walk in tennis, they're very comfortable.

They're all grossed out with her because she's ridiculous, and she's bragging to some of the richest people in member deals. They're like, You're gross. And so dinner arrives, and Kathy's like, It's organic. Yeah, I love organic things. I'm allergic to non-organic things. So, thanks.

Jennifer is saying, I thought that maybe Kyle would be here for dinner. Kathy was like, Oh, she couldn't make it. And, yeah.

So Jennifer's like, Well, with Kyle, Kyle, obviously because you bought her house.

And the man's like, Yeah, we're friendly just from running into each other. I just run into her a little faster than she runs, just saying. And just knowing each other from the purchase and everything, at the Glenn Center. That's where you find Glenns. She remember she had Glenn. I got two Glenns, actually. Jennifer's like, Well, I'm just really interested to see where somebody who's coming in and seeing and meeting and like, What did you think about Dorit? Jennifer is just like, I want you to trip right now, so I'm going to ask I'm going to let every single person in the cast, and we're going to mind you for information and use it against you.

I'm going to stick my foot out and wait for you to trip over it and see if you fall. Is what I'm doing. What did you think about Dorit?

She's like, Well, the first time I met her, and she's in total distress. What am I going to say? Then we see a flashback to Dorit being like, Jigger? Who's Jigger anymore? Walking around with the weight of the world on his shoulders, saying, I want Florida, please take me to grandma and grandpa Florida.

Do you know what that's like for me?

That was that lunch that we saw. But then Amanda says, We're back to present. She's like, So I thought about her a lot. Then when I got to have lunch with her, I was so happy to talk to her and hear the whole situation be there for her. I just been thinking about it. I've just been trying to manifest something for her, I don't know, a Snickers bar. I think it's going to happen soon, guys. But then she says, But I was happy to talk about it with her, and I started wondering, is her talking to everyone going to affect her divorce in some negative way? Then she says that after having lunch with that, that lunch that we saw with Boes and Doreet, she thought, she was like, Oh, God, PK is such a douchebag. Fuck, fuck PK, team Doreet. Then she went and had lunch with Kyle.

We knew it because Exactly what she said is exactly what Kyle said. I'm wondering, is this, or is her talking bad going to affect her divorce? Which is exactly Kyle, right? Then we see Kyle telling her. Her saying stuff about how he's parenting? That worries me. I mean, last year, she would say things that would come out, and he'd get upset. That makes me nervous. She accused him being a goddamn alcoholic. Which she doesn't say, but that's what Kyle did in her first season. I think it's so funny that Kyle's up her own ass She's like, Oh, my God. She was adding fuel to the fire? What was she doing? She was, Yeah, she's adding fuel to the fire.

Well, last year she did say that he's a raging alcoholic, and Amanda's like, Yeah, and he didn't like that at all.

Well, who would? I mean… Who would?

But we see that clip of Doreet saying, He's a fully blown alcoholic.

It's going to explode any moment. Like, get off the volcano because the parochrastic flow of alcohol alcoholism is coming down the mountainside.

If his alcoholism was a gas tank, it would be full, full alcoholic. 100% alcoholic. If it was a Rotten Tomato score, it would be 100% Rotten Alcohol.

Then we go to the Bravo's Hot Mic podcast with Alex Baskin, and PK is like, I mean, Doreet's lack of understanding about the sobriety is not her fault. She hasn't invested in it. There's no fully blown alcoholic. You're either an alcoholic or you're not. So it was emotionally difficult for me to watch it. I'm sorry. He's right. It's like you're an alcoholic or not. But like, Doreet was just emphasizing This is a situation. This is a full-blown situation. That's how I took it. And he's going to just scredded her for everything because she was empathizing something. I don't know. I feel like PK was being slippery in that moment.

Well, it's also incorrect. I mean, there are different degrees. You've got the Meredith situation on Salt Lake City where it's like, Is this a thing where it's a problem? And then you've got the Dorinda where it's like, Oh, that's a full-blown alcohol. That is some committed alcoholism. I mean, there are different. And also, PK, just shut up, PK. Just shut up. But I do like when they show clips from the Alex Baskin podcast because I love Alex Baskin's face. No matter who he's interviewing, this is his I know.

He's disgusted by it.

It's just like he smelled a fart. He's like, Can I have a podcast studio that just smells like fart so I can get into character every day? Because he could be interviewing, I don't know, Bette Midler, and he'd be like…

But also what's funny is that I feel like last season, PK, his whole thing was just like… His whole thing was like, I'm an alcoholic. I'm sober now. This is my journey. I'm sober. But he's like, really, he really does not like… I guess I take it back. Even if you are embracing that this is the new chapter in your life and acknowledging that you have an issue they have to deal with. It's still not nice to have to hear someone say, Well, there's a full-blown alcoholic. I was about to be like, But you said you were an alcoholic, so she's allowed to say it. But then I was like, No, I understand. I understand. If you're going through it, if you're in recovery, you don't I really want to hear someone just taking out their forks and knives and really going to town on it. I will give PK that reluctantly, but I also feel like in the case of that podcast, he was still using that as a get out of jail card free. Nothing that Dorit says, none of her complaints are even valid because, look, she called me a full-blown alcoholic, and that's not even a thing that you can say about someone.

So therefore, all this evidence is dismissed. And that was the vibe I got off him, and I did not appreciate that.

Hello there. This is a two-part recap, okay? This is the end of part one. So thank you so much for listening to this. Just come back a little later for part two.

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