Transcript of #3148 RHOSLC S616 Part 1: Going, Going, Antigone

Well. Hello.

Hello, everybody. And welcome to Watch What Happens, a podcast for all the crap we love to talk about on your blogs. I'm Roni. That is Benjaminus over there. Hi, Ben.

Hi. Look how excited I was. I said hello with you today. Hi. Like a Greek chorus.

Oh, God. Welcome, everybody. Sad day indeed, because it is the ending of an era, a Salt Lake City Season 6 era. Because Salt Lake City ends today. Well, I mean, it doesn't completely end. We've got the reunion episodes coming up where Daddy Andy gets angry and walks out. He's like, I can't take it anymore. But this is the season final, and I have loved the season. I mean, I love Salt Lake City. I love it. I watched a little bit of this members-only Palm Beach show that everybody's talking about on Netflix. It is like watching a Jimmy Dean sausage burn in an air fryer. I can't look away. It's disgusting because I don't eat meat, but it's good. But nothing compares to Real Housewives. I'm sorry, it just doesn't. You just don't. You don't win. Okay? I watched this, and I was like, This feels more comforting. Yeah.

I think members only Palm Beach is pretty amazing. I've only seen the first episode. I liked it because it felt like we were finally cashing in on the promise of Elise Sloan. It's like, finally, finally, this is like Elise Sloan needed to go down to Palm Beach and metamorphize into these women. And that's what we got with that. And that show, I think, is pretty incredible off the first episode. But Salt Lake City, Salt Lake City. I think it was a good season. I don't think it was as strong as some of our more recent seasons. I'm a little worried that it's winking at the audience just a bit too much. Like, it got away with it, got away with it. But we need to... Let's not become self-parody. But that being said, before we go any further, we have big news, in case you missed it on the last recap. Tickets for the Golden Crappies are going on sale this Friday. Okay? The Golden Crappies are going to be on February 27th at the Fonda Theater in Los Angeles. It's an LA year. We hope you all come and join us. We always have so much fun giving out awards for the best, the worst, the most chaotic, scandalous on Bravo and beyond.

We love it. It's a chance for the whole community to come together. The Bravo community, the Crapins community. We'll have special guests. We'll have all sorts of fun things. So tickets are on sale on Friday. There is going to be a Patreon presale tomorrow, Thursday. That's going to go from 10: 00 AM to 10: 00 PM Pacific. And then Friday morning, they'll go on sale at 10: 00 AM. Check our socials. If you're not subscribed, check us out at at watch more crap. Get your updates there. There'll be ticket links there. We'll put it up on the site. All the information will be there. It's going to be so fun. We have fun every year doing it. So come join us. And that's also means that we'll be creating a ballot soon. So keep your eyes and ears open for any solicitations for favorite moments of the year, favorite fights, villains, etc. Start like going through your mental rolodex about what happened in Bravo over the past year because we have to build this ballot and we want all of your input.

Yes. So this is going to be a whole month of good times for us, everybody. So pay attention to the socials. Also, we have moved to a cast network. So you might notice Ad Free is missing. It will be restored this week. Well, probably next week. Let's say the beginning of next week. Probably will be earlier, but let's just say beginning of next week over on Patreon is where you will get an ad-free feed that will be at our lowest tier. Patreon is also where you get bonus episodes. This week, we start traders recap. Well, not full recap, but coverage. We talk about it. And it's also where you get videos, Crap-ins On-Demand videos, which we're on right now. So thanks to everybody over at Patreon. And we're so excited that we can bring Ad Free to Patreon, finally. We've wanted to for years, so we're psyched.

Yes, we're so psyched about that. And one last quick thing is that if you happen to be in the Miami area on February 21st, is it? We are going to be doing Crapy Hour at the South Beach Food and Wine Festival. How fun is that? We're going to be doing a nice 45 minutes set down there, so come join us if you're going to the festival.

Yeah, we're so excited to be there. Oh, my God. So much food. All right, so let's get this going. Season for now, Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, Season 6, Episode Sisters of Salt, A Greek Tragedy. We open with ominous music.

I am Greek.

And a lady saying, Behold, the daughters, the Sisters of Salt, the world's elegance, grace. But the world did not see the war.

And we see a sign that says something like the Tomato Performing Arts Center. I was like, I love that they did this whole big set piece at the Tomato Theater of Santorini.

Did you notice that it's a tomato? Tomatoes are a big part of Greek culture. Okay.

Yeah, I guess. Yeah, exactly. I was amused by that. It's a tomato industrial museum, which is probably a very fine museum. But for some reason, the fact that's called tomato, it's like, that's so appropriate for this show. So, yes, we heard this voice, and then we see previews of what's to come later, like crying, and masks, and flowy dresses. It ends with Mary saying, Why are we here if we're not friends? If we all feel the same way, there's something wrong. Then it's like, and then it's like, (how) And then the women all Let me see all the actresses fall on the ground because they die, and it's very dramatic.

Twelve hours earlier, day 4 of Angie's Creek Trap. We open with Meredith making coffee, and she's-How dare she? How dare she? How could she make coffee? Is something wrong with Meredith? She's making coffee.

Did you see that Meredith Marks made coffee in the very first scene? I mean, wow, off of the races. She is a disaster.

Get a strake jacket, call Betty Ford. She's going downhill, everybody. She touched the button on the Nespresso machine.

It's terrible. When will she ever stop?

Now, we all knew that the season finale was going to be Heather and Whitney's final attempt at taking down Meredith. They've been trying it the whole season. Let's see what they've got. Do they have anything new for the season finale? Not really. But they do have the addition of Bronwyn on their team, which I found to be an interesting choice. But you know what? Bronwyn, I guess, decided to show up, and she's here. She showed up. So let's see what they've got.

Bronwyn's a great fighter. I will say, whether you're on her side or not, she really can gather someone. She is so good at it. Meredith is committing the cardinal sin of making coffee, not even by her own skills, just using a Keurig machine. So she's making it for everyone, and she's being nice and warm, which I mean, who would ever deign to be friendly in the morning after you had a rough night? It's almost like you slept on it and felt better when you woke up. What bullshit is that? What fuckery is that? Why are you not in rehab for sadness? It's crazy.

How did you sleep, Mary? Is that good? I mean, I slept. Well, I I hope it's a nice day because it's our last day. Meredith's nice voice chiming in two episodes in a row. So Angie comes in and Angie has a swollen lip. And you know, Meredith is that friend who just, no matter what's going on in your life, she just makes you feel better. She just makes you feel beautiful no matter what is going on inside that. Just kidding.

Marius is like, kill it with fire. Is it bad? It's bad.

It's really bad. It is really bad. And so, Bronwyn comes in. She's like, Hi, hi, hi, hi, hi. I'm going to, I'm going to nod my head five times faster than I say, Hi, hi, hi, hi.

Look, we are really seeing Angie's heritage at work. She is so Greek. She's a full-on Greek tragedy because she's looking at the, she's looking at the lip because they're like, Did you see her lip? She goes, See it? I slept next to it. So Bronwyn's like, Yeah, it looks like that.

Mary's like, Yeah, look at it. It's disgusting.

Look at her lip.

Hey, Angie, come over here. Look at it. It's disgusting. So Bronwyn's like, Yeah, it does look bad. Well, at least you're still pretty, Angie. Oh, thanks, Mary. Thanks, Mary.

Jesus. Yeah, seriously. So, Bronwyn says something that I was… a sentence that makes no sense as of right now. She goes, I'm excited to see Stella's play, at which point I think everyone was like, Who? Who? Who's Stella and what's the play? And Angie tells us, We have had some ups and downs, but I want everyone to leave here reflecting back on this trip of a lifetime. So I found a playwright who's going to write a play about us in the style of ancient Greek theater. Okay, I'm just going to stop. I'm going to pause this recap for a second. We all recognize that two years ago, Salt Lake City had what I think is believed to be the best season finale of any Real Housewives franchise, one of the best season finales of any reality docu-show ever. It was just fantastic. It broke the internet. We all know. I don't have to explain it. Last year, they clearly felt the pressure to top it, and they had a, maybe not quite as iconic, but definitely hilarious and memorable moment where they all sat down and read each other's text, and that's when you have one foot on the banana, one foot on the grave, yada, yada.

It was all great. I think it's now time to tell Salt Lake City and other franchises, you don't have to keep chasing the highs of Season 4. Just let season four be season four. Let's go back to having normal season finales because this Greek thing, this Greek play was entertaining, and I enjoyed it. But we're getting farther and farther moved away from reality as much as reality exists on these shows. I personally am a fan of when the shows end with a big party and the whole cast and all the husbands and everything. Everyone that's associated with it comes together in a party. I enjoy it because there's usually something embarrassing that happens, and it's more embarrassing because mixed company there. The ones that end on vacation are fine, too. I do enjoy that the vacation is climactic, but I just feel like trying to chase this moment where you have a big reveal or some giant set piece that happens, it's just going to take us a little bit… It's heading, not saying it's happening, but it's heading towards jumping the shark. I would love it if we cap it with this season, let's cap it with this Greek tragedy, and let's come back down to Earth a little bit.

I hope I'm not being a party pooper, but that's genuinely how I feel.

What do you think, Ron? Okay, well, I feel like you're allowed. You're allowed. Okay, thanks, Brian. I would like to say this. I'm going to say this with as much respect as I can muster. I'm just going to say one word. Bill! Bill! Bill! No, Bill. You get that. I totally disagree. I love this. I love everything about it. Salt Lake City is community theater housewives. They're ridiculous. They've always been… They shoot in parking lots. They were arrested in a parking lot. This show is so stupid. Even their best season finale was totally scripted by Heather for the entire season. I love it. I love a good show. I love a show that's going to put on a good show. This is definitely dinner theater, and I am here. The fact that they actually ended at dinner theater, to me, was just so poetic and beautiful. It's everything we've ever called this show. The fact that we actually got real live dinner theater as a finale, I just was like, This is my favorite show. It can never be canceled. Now, Heather is still too much. I know I'm on a Heather hate train this year.

It's not really hate. I don't hate her or anything. I think she's very valuable to the cast. I'm not saying fire Heather or anything. Heather is too much. This is too much of Heather's drunken bullying people. She's belligerent, and she's a bully. That's it. I'm done with her, and I'm done with her self-producing. But the rest of it, I loved it. Even Bronwyn is crazy.

I enjoyed the camp value of it, but I just I do have this nagging feeling like the producers are trying to generate another break the Internet moment. I'm like, I want them to stop trying to break the internet and just focus on the women a little bit more.

It's not a mystery. It's like Big Little Lies. Did you watch that show? The first season was a mystery, and then the second season, they were like, Oh, God, how do we do this if it's not a mystery? Then people were like, I'm not watching that. It's not a mystery. It became a different thing. This one is not, You're not murder, she wrote. I don't need it to be like, And then Heather discovers the killer in the end. It's like, I don't need that. But again, I think that that's Heather. It's Heather and Whitney.

But we're seeing it on Bravo across the board. I think in the wake of Skandival and in the wake of the season 4 finale, we're seeing more of the housewives are finishing their seasons on vacation, which is not inherently bad, but I feel like they're trying to have these big, and here we picked up the… It's either we picked up the cameras or we're going to have a devastating twist in the finale. I feel like if the twist is there, if there is something to be twisted, then sure. But we don't have to… I don't know. I just worry that they're trying too hard to tell us almost how to for us to be like, Whoa. I'm like, Just let the women do what the women do best, and I guarantee we'll be entertained and happy. I'm not saying I had a great time with this, and I thought this was really fun, but I almost want the producers to be like, Okay, we don't have to We don't have to be… We don't have to keep on trying to top ourselves every single season, just have a good season finale.

Okay. Well, I feel like you're allowed, but I don't change a thing, Salt Lake City. You still got me. I'm still here. I'm still here. I'm still rooting for you. I'm telling the producers, Don't listen to Ben.

Don't listen to Ben. Okay? I got you. Just come in, nestle in my cheat.

Well, we're a wash. I think if the producers are actually listening, we're a wash. We're not a big help in that meeting. Because, yeah, I just love it. That focus. But we go to three days earlier, and Angie and the girls are meeting Stella, the playwright, Stella Adler, the great actress, the great actress of the acting school.

Stella Adletopoulos. Yes.

Stella Fedler. She's there, and Angie's like, Okay, ladies, this is Stella Fedler. She is going to write a about us. Now they have to be interviewed by Stella. It is mixing season finales, where instead of going through each other's text, they're still going to shit talk each other, but now it's going to be to this weird red-headed lady. Whitney's like, I was bullied, too, for my red hair. How do you feel, Stella? It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappin's commercial. We go to Stella interviewing them, and Heather is like, Okay, what do you want to know about me? I share nothing. I have a stained mattress. Isn't that wacky? I gave my mattress to Goodwill, and I drove it there in a U-haul truck. Broke the internet.

I wore heels on it and broke the mattress first. Then Lisa's like, Okay, so Stella's like, Tell me, what is the word? How do you describe yourself? Lisa goes, Oh, my God, oh, my God. There's so many words coming to my head. Smart. Okay, wait, what are some other words? Trees. Do you have any words for me? Trees? Okay, that tree says I'm pretty. Okay. If I guess trees think I'm pretty. Go with that.

Smart. Yeah. Gorgeous. Good-looking. Hot. Rich. Rich. Rich. Smart. Rich. Right there.

Roadflake lively.

Brittany's like, Happy. And then Bron was like, Um, quirky. Mm-hmm. Unique. Mm-hmm. Shows up at airport dressed like rhinoceroses. For their farting husband while they make out. It's fine. It's fine. You had to be there. It's a good time.

Pensive. I would be very pensive. Well, for me, I'm very well-spoken. You can write that down. I'm well-spoken. Oh, how do you say New York Times bestselling author in Greek? Whatever that is, write that in there, too.

I'm a free spirit. And Mary says, Self-aware, which is hilarious. The same week that her cult documentary came out.

She's also around. And then also, Brittany goes, Deep.

Oh, God.

You know what? Here's the thing. Even when the show throws in contrivances, these women are still so fucking loose.

It's so good. I loved every second. Lisa's like, Intuitus. Yeah, I'm a Sagittarius. I'm a total Sag.

You're a Sag, right?

Are you a Sag, Stella? No. Oh, yeah. You're a Capricorn. Yes, you are. No, no. Oh, yeah.

Leo? No.

Aries? No. Okay, what are you? What are you?

Pisces.

Oh, my God. I knew you were going to say that. I knew your… My next guess was chicken finger, but I'm so glad. You know what? I knew it. I knew it.

You're so pisces. I thought your ideological sign was chicken finger at first. Then I was like, It's either chicken finger or pisces.

What can you tell me about your friend here? She goes, Oh, my God. D dramatic. Poor, poorer, poorer than me. They're poorer than me.

They have to be nice words? Mm-hmm. Okay, that's going to be hard. When he goes, Ego. Because they won lots of awards. They've got egos. That is egot. I'm working for one right now. I don't follow.

Elefental Greek Overtop Clay winner.

Okay. You may not know this, but I am actually Actually, the first ever Grigot, which is Greek, Emy, Greek, Drammy, Greek, Nesca, and Greek, Tony Award winner.

Actually, I didn't win the Tony, but here in Greece, it is Tsuziki. So I did win a Tsuziki. I won that Tsuziki. It was huge.

Huge class, certainly. Of course, the... Yes, it is very special. Of course, there's no Grammys either, but it is a hero, so that is the G.

It is silent, Jack in the Box.

We don't have Tony's. It's actually Feta cheese, so it's actually an egos.

Here, we only award Tony Shalub over and over again. It's Greek enough. We call the Tony Shalub Award is for Greek enough. It's not actual Greek, but you're Greek enough to win this award.

The E is actually for It's actually for a lecture. I knew it.

So Heather's like, A word for my friends? You want one word for my friends? How about lack of justice?

That's... Okay. I'm pride. Okay.

Well, I think it depends on how you define one word. I would say we're talking about an actual friendship that I've had for a while.

I would say guarded. The sisterhood is guarded. Martyr. Martyr McFly. Do you mean Marty? Oh, Whoops. Can I have a new word, please?

Alchaholic pill pauper exploited my vagina. Ding pat. There's a word to write down, and Mary goes, Well, I like all of them except one, but that's okay.

That's It's hard. Coming up with a word. Lisa goes, I'm just excited to see how this play turns out. Just make me cute, okay? Thank you. All I care about is I look at…

We come back to the present, and the girls are in the kitchen. Thank God, Meredith is not making somebody coffee today because they would have had that girl thrown in a goddamn mental hospital. Jeez. The girls are in the kitchen, and Andrew's like, I think it's going to be a great final curtain on our last Greek night. Brittany's like, Good morning. Wait, why are we dressed already? Well, we're going to sit by the pool before we meet my cousin, Michael's. Okay? Meek-a-lee, meek-a-lee for lunch. You guys are going to love him. He's Greek. He is Greek.

Well, would anyone care for a cappuccino? Because I'm in a good mood today. Cappuccino? The devil's beverage. So Ron was like…

I'm sorry. We're taking someone in. We've heard someone's offered a cappuccino in the I'm in the house.

Seeing Meredith so fine and easy, breezy, beautiful this morning is like a Mabelie nad. Because it really makes me uncomfortable because hours ago, Meredith was texting me to come to her room in a full panic. It's being out of control that everyone's out to get her, and now she's fine. I mean, everything's great. The birds are singing. Coffee's flowing. Meredith's alive, happy to live. What is that? Have you not heard of coffee? Have you not heard about what it's like you're crashing out, and then you have your morning coffee, and you're like, You know what? It's chill. It's chill. I'm in Greece. I'm fine.

Here we are with Bronwyn again being like, Oh, my God. Meredith is spinning out of control, totally losing it, going crazy. Now she just wants coffee. What's going on with Meredith? Meredith was losing it last night. Where's the footage? Show me one bit of footage, please. Show me the text. Show me the text. I'll believe you for one second.

But also, aren't you allowed to lose it and be paranoid and talk about it with your friend, and then you go to sleep and you chill and you wake up the next morning and you feel better? Are you not allowed to feel better? Isn't there an expression, sleep on it? Aren't you allowed to vent to friends? I don't see what's created. I actually don't doubt that she was losing it because the thing is this, this cast knows that when it's the finale dinner, they know it's going to be really, really hard. They're going to have to be like, they're going to be fighting on a different level because that's just their new thing they have to do. So, yeah, she was freaking out, and I think that's It's literally okay. I think it's also okay to wake up in the morning and feel better.

If that was the case, then that, yeah, that would be okay. But I see no evidence of her spinning out at all or freaking out in a full panic. I just don't see it. There's not evidence in the text that she did that. There's not any evidence in the footage leading up to it that she did that. This is Bronwyn totally using words again to go off on somebody. Then later she'll be like, I never said that. I never said you were losing your mind. No, but she doesn't do that. But I thought at this point, she was going to do that.

Bronwyn has a history of being like, she was yelling when someone's not saying that. The truth is, here's what I imagine happened. Meredith probably come to my room and she's like, Okay, I'm not going to be a shit show. I'm just thinking about it. What do I have to deal with? What did you guys talk about at lunch? I know you guys are going to like, no one's going to come back in my face. Just like, Can you give me a heads up? I just really am not in the mood to deal with this right now. Can you just let me know? What were you guys saying? What's going on? What is tomorrow going to look like? How do I have to prepare myself? Which I don't... I imagine it was something like that, and Bronwyn was like, She was freaking out. She was like, What's happening? What's tomorrow going to be like? She wanted to know what's happening at lunch. What's happening at lunch? What's happening at lunch? I just By the way, even if it's at its worst version, the Bronwyn version, I just still don't think there's anything wrong with it. I just don't see what's wrong with freaking out the night before the finale, knowing that you've already been attacked so many times this season, so you know it's going to come out.

It's going to be the boss fight, and you just want to be prepped by someone that you think is a friend.

Yeah, agreed. What is shitty is taking an off-camera conversation and then throwing it in somebody's face to get air time the next day and get cred with the other girls. But that'll happen soon. That's spoiler alert. Then Heather and Whitney are outside, and, of course, trying to figure out how they're going to get Meredith. I love this because Ron was like, Oh, my God, she's freaking out that everyone's trying to come for her. Like, Oh, my God! Everyone's coming for her. Cut to Heather and Whitney. How are we going to get Meredith? How are we going to get this bitch? So, Heather is like, Meredith made me a cappuccino. How women surprises me every day. I'm just learning so much about them. I mean, we're finally going deep, deep. A cappuccino.

And this is actually a dig at Lisa because last night in the sprinter van, Lisa's like, Guys, I like deep in my friendships. I want depth and dimension with you. I don't want to get it just from a pine tree. I want it from my sisters, too. We always sit and talk about, You said this, and you said this, instead of actually talking about who we are. Heather's like, Are you yelling at me right now? No, I'm saying it to the group. I'm saying it to the group. I want depth. I want be deep. Come on, let's share, people.

Heather's like, I mean, have you ever asked Meredith if she knows how to make a cappuccino. And Whitney goes, But did she make it or did the machine make it? I was like, Oh, my God. The woman can't even make you a fucking cappuccino without you trying to come for her. What did you ever make? Did you ever design one piece of jewelry, you fucking Alibaba motherfucker? Shut up, Whitney.

I know this is... The thing is, it's not like Meredith was going around saying, Here's my special cappuccino with my family ingredient. Me and my sister would put our hands on the coffee beans and put them in the grinder. No, she's just like, Who wants a cappuccino?

I just got my breath really hot, and then I blew bubbles with a strine to the milk until it steam. Would that be- Let me tell you something.

I want to say, I'm sorry to interrupt you, Roni, but now I'm a little fired up, which is to say that standing by that Keurig machine is not nothing. I think anyone who stood by one Keurig machine waiting for their single coffee has been like, Oh, my God. I know it's only 30 seconds, but it's probably the longest 30 seconds of your life. You're just watching it, the dribble coming out, and you're like, Can you dribble any faster? And then you watch the white part come out. You're like, Oh, and then you think it's done, and it's like, and it spits out some more. And you're like, When is this over? And now she's done that six times. That's It's actually a good amount of commitment, and I applaud Ms. Marks.

Yeah. So Whitney's like, Well, last night was just all around frustrating for me. Well, yeah, because Lisa wants us to go deep, but she's the most shallow in the group. God, we've been begging you to be vulnerable, and we've been begging to crack open your shallow shell of worldliness and materialistic things and be our friend. God, yes. You've really been begging Lisa and Meredith to be your friends? Shut up. Who do you think is watching this show? We are watching this show, ma'am. Heather's like, Just be the hippie you are, touching the tree.

I feel like I have slice myself open and bled all over these guys for years. This whole no one's being real and honest and raw turn like that, judging your eye direction, that's crazy. Heather's been open and raw about, I think for sure, her story with Morganism, but it's also like a It's like a… We don't really know much beyond that, if you really think about that. They hinted at it this episode, really, for the first time, which is like, what's going on with her personal life, her dating life, how she laughs it off or whatever. She will tell you about her family drama, and she'll tell you about Morganism. But it's other stuff is closed off more than she, I think, would admit.

She doesn't talk about anything personal. That's it. She doesn't. She's talked about the Morganism thing, which she's branded, so now that's her thing. That's the thing. She's going to write it. She'll talk about anything that she can make money off of, but then she's not going to talk about anything else. We don't know shit about Heather. Not that I'm complaining. Whitney is like, Let's be in the moment with each other and have fun. Where did that come from? Okay, so you don't like them when they're closed off, and now you don't like them when they say they want to be open. You can't win with these two. Then we go to Bronwyn knocking on Mary's door, and But she comes in with her like, nice mommy voice. Like, mommy who just yelled at you last night, but is not going to be nice. She's like, Oh, look at you, Mary. Your room's so clean and nice. Mary, hi, Mary. Why does everybody talk to Mary like she's a child? Have you noticed that? It's so weird. Because whenever Mary comes into the room, they're like, Hi, Mary.

How are you?

You slept. Look at you. You got yourself dressed this morning.

Well, it's because of what we talked about on the last episode, which is that because ultimately, Mary She is a bit emotionally… There's some stunting, and there's stuff in there that Mary has gotten this edit as being the sage one of the group and the most emotionally mature. She definitely has that in her. But we forget, Mary is a bit cookey, and you don't know what direction she's going to go in any given day. I think they just are like, let's just like, we've figured out the way to deal with Mary and the tones that she likes. She's like, Your room is really nice. What's going on there?

It's just funny because they spend the rest of the episode being like, We all have to change how we are around Meredith to not set her off. But then whenever they're around Mary, they're like, Oh, hi, Mary. It's your fill too hot. That's true. Here you go, Mary. So, yeah. So, Bronwyn comes in with that voice, and she's like, Hi. Mary goes, Yeah, well, she goes, Mary, your room looks so clean and nice. And she's like, Yeah, I don't sleep on the covers. I don't know who slept on those. Mary just spent the entire vacation sleeping on top of the bed.

She was so funny. So, Bronwyn's like, She's like, So, how did you sleep? She goes, Not good. Remember? It was me and Meredith last night sitting out there talking, and you, and you, too. Everybody went to their rooms, and after we went to bed last night, I didn't go to bed. I did not go to bed. She's like, What do you mean? Well, I'm brushing my teeth, and I get these text from Meredith, and she says, Are you still up? Can I come upstairs? Do you want to come down here? She wants to talk to me. I go down there, and she was very clear that she feels nervous and that everyone's been talking about her since the plane, and she doesn't like what's been said, and things have been lies. She specifically said to me, What did you guys talk about at lunch yesterday? I'm like, So Mary gasps.

When is the- Mary gasp. When is the spinning-out, full-blown panic attack and freak out that she was having in what you just said?

I don't get where the problem is so far. Also, the one who seems to be freaking out is Bronwyn. Mary is like, I mean, it's 2: 30 in the morning, and you want to know about what we talked about? It's like, yeah.

Yeah. Well, I'd just like to point out that Heather also asked Whitney, What happened at that lunch? It's not a big deal. Why is it a big deal now to ask what happened at the other scene? What did you guys talk about in the other scene? Why is this so weird? I don't get it. Who is Bronwyn to be acting like somebody's friend and stay up? We see a clip of them talking, and they're just being calm, having a nice calm in their pajamas conversation. Then she said, You want to come to my room to finish our conversation or whatever. But what friend is like, Oh, okay, I'll come to your room to talk privately off camera. Oh, you're insecure about tomorrow? Then the next day, wake up and be like, Oh, my God, Meredith is insecure. Disgusting. Can you believe that? Can you believe her? What a shitty fucking person, man. Bronwyn is not a trustworthy person. I love that Bronwyn advocates for the LGBTQ+ community. I love that she plays all her performative cards correctly, but Bronwyn is an asshole and a terrible friend. The best thing she ever said is at the end of this episode where she was like, Well, I don't like untrustworthy people because I am an untrustworthy person.

I was like, Well, at least you're self-aware, which is more than I can say for a lot of people, but God damn, you're an asshole.

I thought that was a really good moment. It was. I agree. They're both saying, This is so weird. Amara is like, Yeah, because why didn't she ask that when we were all out there before? And Bronwyn's like, Yeah, because you were at lunch with me. Why couldn't you say it to both of us? What is this weird paranoia? She's trying to drum up paranoia. Mary's going with it because I think it's like what you said in the last episode, Bronwyn came in with a certain energy, so Mary's matching it. Mary's like, I mean, well, she thought you were going to tell her. Like you did. She goes, Yeah, and I didn't. I just danced around it. She goes, Meredith and I have had an increasing problem where I think showing up as a friend for Meredith is telling her things to be helpful to her. I warned her that there was discussion after the plane ride and how, how much she drink. And I mentioned it to, to her that Brittany was throwing up in her room on the yacht trip. And later I heard that she spun it as someone thinks you're an alcohol because they're throwing up on a boat trip, and they saw.

And now I'm realizing Meredith is using me and the things that I say to get at the other woman. Well, I'm sorry, but last time I checked, you were the one who took Brittany out shopping. And while Brittany was being shady, you took all that information and you spun it out to be 10 times more venom and toxic than what Brittany said. And you gave it to all the women. And now you're accusing Meredith of doing the same thing that you already did on camera to Brittany. I think that right now, Bronwyn is actually just projecting because she knows this is exactly what she would do. She's accusing Meredith of having these ulterior motives because those are the motives that she knows herself that are inside of her.

She also was the one who was like, Oh, yeah. She said that Meredith is always having epileptic seizures and all of that to start the fight with her and Meredith. That's right.

She was the one who exaggerated that.

I came to this discussion after the plane ride about how much she'd have to drink. Okay, well, you're the one who started the stuff with her and other people. Why are you acting like your hands are clean? Then how is it helping her when you mentioned to her that Brittany was throwing up in her room on the yacht trip? Because she just said, I think I'm showing up as a friend for Meredith by telling her things to be helpful to her, like that Brittany was throwing up on our room on the yacht trip. How is that helpful to her? And later, that was that helpful to her? Later, that was Bronwyn is somebody thinks you're an alcoholic. Bronwyn, you spun it as she was an alcoholic. Why else would you be saying, Yeah, she's throwing up all the time in our room?

Well, Bronwyn, to be fair, Bronwyn said that- She's ridiculous. That Meredith approached her and said, I heard that Bronwyn was throwing up. And she said, Yeah, she was throwing up.

That's what she- But they all saw. I'm not even saying but to argue with you because I'm not even arguing with you. But we all knew that Brittany was throwing up that whole trip. Brittany was wasted that whole trip, barfing and then drinking again. They were all giving her shit at the table. So If they were saying later, Oh, my God, she's been throwing up, and Bronwyn said, Oh, yeah, I'm her roommate. She's throwing up over and over again in the room. She's just adding to the fire and now making it look like other people are throwing her under the bus. No, you were throwing Brittany under the bus. Yeah. Just like you were throwing everybody else under the bus when you went to Meredith the first time. Why are you the only one that gets to hear things and go tell the other ladies?

That's the other thing, is that she's really mad that she had a conversation with Meredith, and then Meredith went and, like, out of part of that conversation at the group lunch. At Valtors, but now here she is doing the same thing back to Meredith.

The very next morning.

I actually love Bronwyn. I think Bronwyn's great. I think Bronwyn's a great real housewife. I really enjoy her quite a bit, but I do think that she has... She doesn't really realize her role and her hypocritical nature on these things. Maybe she does, because at the end of the episode, she does have an epiphany. But I do feel like she is really blowing this thing up, and she's really throwing Meredith under the bus for something that I think is really benign.

It's like she's mad at Meredith for coming to her room? That's so weird. Why would you go to somebody else and complain that Meredith came to your room? It's just bizarre. Like, later, she fights with Mer-like, now she forces a fight with Meredith, right? Where she's going to make it like, Well, I'm in a fight with Meredith, so now I'm going to betray her. But before that, it's like, why are you going to somebody else and talking shit about her and saying, well, I have this problem where I think I'm showing up as a friend, and then she's making me You look bad? You're the one who's doing it. Do not see… It's so frustrating. It's so fucking frustrating.

She must be reliving the trauma of everything that happened when she was 20, right?

Oh, for fuck's sake.

The people that were… Well, no, I'm not saying that she's relying on it. I'm saying that it seems obvious to me that she's reliving that pattern, where the people that were supposed to be taken care of her, the people that were supposed to be good to her were not good to her. I think that she's trying to get ahead of it this time, like, You're not going to get me. And so what she's doing, though, is she's really sabotaging these relationships as a result.

Yeah, she's an asshole. So Mary is like, Well, it's not right for her to do that. She's wrong. It's not right for her to do what? To go to her room and say she's scared about the next day? So Mary is like, Well, we've been friends for years, and I've seen her change, and she doesn't want to hear anything, and she feels like she's being attacked, and she feels paranoid. You're literally sitting around talking about her for the fifth day in a row. Like, Yeah. She is being attacked. You are all coming for her. And she's like, When you don't talk and you bottle things up, and you shut down like Meredith is doing, it comes across, and she's breaking down. And it's very, it's very alarming. It's very, very alarming.

But at the same time, is Meredith bottling things up? She's blown off the handle 10 different times. If this is bottling it up, I would love to see what letting off the steam is.

Yeah, they want her to say that her husband's cheating on her. That's what they want. If Meredith doesn't come to them and say, Seth is cheating on me, and I'm very upset, they're not going be happy.

That is correct. That is correct. Now outside, Meredith is just on this balcony or a deck or something.

Exhausted from making six cappuccinos in a Keurig.

They're on a slow.

She was tired.

So, Bronwyn comes up and joins her. She's like, Hey, are you working on something? She's like, No, come on up. I'm just chilling out a little bit. She's like, Okay, well, I wanted to chat with you, and I want to make sure I'm not reading into something weird. I thought you and I had a little bit of an uncomfortable conversation, and I think I might be overthinking it, but I felt like you were asking me what was said at lunch.

I did not ask you that. No, I didn't.

Okay, well, you didn't ask me what was said at lunch. You didn't ask me that.

No, I did not.

You asked me what happened at lunch and who did-who did-who-and who did you talk about. Okay, you asked me that.

That is not true at all. It is true, Meredith. It is not true at all.

What Bronwyn is failing to I realized is that she's falling into a married with Mark's trap, which is that Meredith, as she says later on, was, I didn't ask. I stated it. Which is this is where Meredith gets into trouble also, because she does use semantics against these women all the time, all the time. And it's hilarious because we, as the viewers, know, okay, what Meredith is really saying is, I didn't ask it, but I did say it. And unless you get it exactly right, you're not going to get it. She's It's like Jeopardy. Could you please be more specific? But it is a difference. If you don't say what is the airplane, you don't get the credit for winning the clue.

Right, but there is a difference in intent in asking and saying. If Meredith went to the, if Meredith said, Come to my room, what did they say at lunch? What did they... That's different than her coming to the room and saying, I'm just insecure about tomorrow. I mean, there's all this stuff going on. You guys went to lunch. You were probably talking about me. There's all this shit going. They're constantly coming for me. Then Bronwyn takes that and makes it sound I think Meredith is saying, What did they say? Tell me everything that happened at lunch. I mean, those are two different things. Obviously, I'm going to be team Meredith because I think it's just shitty of Bronwyn for somebody to say, I'm feeling really insecure. For all the people saying, and the people in this cast is who I'm talking about, but the people in this cast constantly saying, Meredith isn't vulnerable. Meredith never shows her feelings. For Meredith to invite somebody to her room and be like, I'm really scared for tomorrow. I'm really worried that everybody's going to be coming for me. I don't know what to do in this situation. What do I do?

I feel like everybody's after me all the time. For you to have that conversation and open yourself and be vulnerable and then have that person the very next day, wait until there's a camera there and then make the whole thing about, Well, you came to my room and you made me extremely uncomfortable when you asked me what happened. That's just a shitty, shitty thing to do to somebody, I think.

Yeah. That being said, I do think that like, Meredith Marks, sometimes she needs to, she needs to work on her soft skills a little bit because her go-to thing is to be like, is to have this semantics argument. And what happens is that they wind up arguing about the semantics, and then they don't actually get to the core of it. Maybe that's the point. Maybe she wants to make it an argument about semantics. But she needs, Meredith needs to work on diffusing people better. She's really not good at it. What she does is she gives energy that gets them actually more riled up. So She needs to learn how to be like, Oh, yeah. I was concerned, but I feel better today now, and I appreciate you coming to talk to me.

She needs to take a page from Bronwyn's book, actually, which is to say, Yeah, you're right. I did do that. That made you uncomfortable? Sorry. I'm so sorry. Because then they move on. Bronwyns, like, admits to anything, and then it moves on. They never talk about it again.

But she's a little bit stuck in lawyer mode. I have a friend who I play board games with, and he's a lawyer. When we play board games, sometimes he just really gets into lawyer mode. He does things that just will rub me the wrong way. He'll do moves in the game, and he's entitled to do it. But what he doesn't realize is that on a social level, he's driving me nuts. It's like, if he just stepped out of lawyer mode in that way, he doesn't have to for the game. He's playing the game properly. But what he's doing is he's failing on the social game a little bit. I think Meredith doesn't realize that the legalese and the semantics, she may win arguments, but she would actually be more successful getting some of these women off her back if she spoke their language a little bit more and just gave… If she BS a bit more, honestly, she just needs to BS more because they speak in BS language, and just give them some nuggets and molyify them, and then she can get them off their back.

Yeah, I think so in general. I think that's true about Meredith. But in this case, I am seeing more Bronwyn lies and Bronwyn misderecks coming out than I do Meredith deflections, and this is why. So Bronwyn is like, Well, I'm gooped. I'm gagged. I just can't believe her. I'm befuddled. She's going to make me look like I'm crazy. This is some fucking foolery. I'm not going to deal with it. Then we come back to them and Bronwyn's like, Well, this bumps me out. She goes, Well, I don't agree with you, and I'm not going to agree to something that didn't happen. She goes, But you did ask about the lunch. She goes, I didn't ask. She goes, Okay, you didn't ask me. She goes, Okay, well, you said I'm nervous. She says, You said, I'm nervous about tonight. I don't know what's coming. I said, Well, I don't either. Bronwyn is saying, Okay, you didn't ask me, but we still talked about it. You see, Bronwyn has a way of flipping things in conversations to make you look like you were doing one thing when you were really doing something else to make you look worse in this conversation.

She's doing it on camera, and Meredith has done this a long time. She's also been fucked by Bronwyn multiple times. I don't know why the hell she would go to Bronwyn with anything when she knows Bronwyn's not going to have her back. But, yeah, so I'm not really believing Bronwyn with this whole thing. I think Bronwyn has decided she needs to do something this season because she's not really in it a lot with the ladies. She's going to jump on the anti-Meridith train because it's just easier, and she wants to stay with the popular kids and finally be invited to that popular kids table. If she can get rid of Meredith and Lisa, then she'll She'll be with Heather and Whitney, and she'll be better off.

So Meredith says, Well, I don't know why. Meredith goes, Well, I don't know why Bronwyn is saying, I asked her for information about the lunch because that didn't happen. She was very, very anxious about the play, and I just texted her so I could comfort her and say that if you talked about something that was contentious, that's probably what will be there, so that she could maybe have some peace of mind having a clue as to what that I'm just Meredith Mark's peace of mind giver. Everyone knows. Just lay your head right here on my chest and let me soothe you to sleep, okay? I was just trying to be nice, and that's it.

Here I am. I just wanted to brush her hair.

Just a big fan of crazy rich Asians just trying to make people feel good about themselves.

I just wanted to brush her hair, tell her what a good girl she's been, and if she had anything at lunch, she needed to get off her chest. Because I think Meredith is foolish at here, too. I mean, listen, if you're in the room, you're talking about being insecure and all that, you didn't just say, Well, good luck. Just-yeah.

That's the thing. You were talking to. Meredith is not the most reliable narrative, either. Let's not fully take the... Whatever the metaphor is.

No, look, I'm not saying Meredith is completely innocent in every conversation. I think she could deal with a lot of this shit better. But I think this shit with the ladies has been nonstop with Meredith. I think it's really low when Bronwyn knows this and she goes to Meredith and acts like, Oh, I'm going to be here for you off camera, and then comes to flip it right in her face just to start a fight and have something in the seat. I just think it's shitty, and I think Meredith knows exactly what she's doing, and she's not going to give it to her. While I don't believe that Meredith didn't say anything in that bedroom, I just don't think it's Bronwyn's business to be trying to throw it in her face today and making her look like a villain. I just think it's not cool. But, yeah, of course, Meredith is like, Let's gossip.

Yeah. I mean, like, Meredith, she's like, Oh, I was just trying to be nice, just trying to dole out the love. She goes, Okay, well, what is it that you want from me? She goes, Well, no, I'm passionate now because I'm really fucking irritated, and I'm really fucking hurt, Meredith. I was the lone person standing up for you outside the plane. Even Lisa said stuff about you. Meredith is like, Okay, Bronwyn, thank you for standing up for me. Thank you very much. She just, Well, I feel like you're working I feel like you've used me, and I feel like when you want something from me, you think I'm a pokey little puppy who's just going to run behind you and tell you shit, and then you do use it against me, because I'll tell you what things that I fucking care about you, and I support you deeply, and you fucking used me, and you fucking sold me out, and I don't care who the fuck you're going to use next. Okay.

Can we just pause in the middle of this? Can we just pause in the middle of this 20-page monolung? First of all, she did betray you in the where you had said something. God, what was it? She had said something about someone, and Meredith was like, Bronwyn. That was at the culture's lunch when she was like, Well, I have her, and then people think that I'm abusing pills.

Bronwyn. Because Bronwyn told her that that's what Whitney was saying.

Right. But Bronwyn is acting like she was being so supportive. She was not being supportive at that lunch with Whitney. She was like, Yeah, it sounds like Meredith has a fucking problem. Then she goes to Meredith, and she's like, They were saying you had a problem. How are you going to tell somebody that and expect them not to say it is one thing. She has the right to say that. If you're telling her somebody… But anyway, you are right that she betrayed you on that because she did call you out. But this last one with Brittany, she didn't call you out. She purposely didn't call you out. She left you out of it. Why are you acting like she also turned that on you? Just because it was obvious that it must have been you? Sure, but she didn't call you out. I don't know. Bronwyn's acting like such a victim. Meredith is always coming for Bronwyn and tricking Bronwyn into doing your stuff. It's like the Lisa Vanderpump thing. We're like, Oh, my God. Lisa Vanderpump makes me do things, and I'm not going to be stupid anymore. Are you really that dumb that somebody is going to make you do something?

So she's like, You sold me out, and I don't know who you're going to use next because there's no one else. There's no one else, Meredith. And you asked me for-you asked me to come to you off camera. Well, fuck that shit, Meredith. Are you lying right now? Or do you not remember? Or are you gaslighting the shit out of me? Because it's one of those options, Meredith. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Well, none of the above, brown women. I don't like your accusations. Well, you know what? I know you said it, and that's good enough for me. I was a good fucking friend to you. Well, except for the fact that I just told you how to Mary and other people. But good luck with your other, the other bitches because they don't have your fucking back like I did. And I don't either anymore. Fuck it. I'm like, Wait, is this whatever you like the good fucking friend of Mary? Exactly. You guys just had your first conversation three episodes ago, I'm pretty sure.

Please show me the clips of Bronwyn sticking up for Meredith ever. I've never seen that happen. When did it happen? She's ridiculous. And also, why is it so bad if Meredith said, What happened at lunch? Why? Why is that something to be yelling about right now? It's crazy. She gets up and walks away, and she's like, Bullshit has lies. You know, like Bronwyn does when she gets mad for no reason. She's like, I'm furious. Now I'm going to make it the whole episode. Meredith is like, Well, I'm going to fucking bill you for some lies. Because someone's threatening me.

So now it's time to go. Everyone's getting dressed to go see the cousin, and they get in the sprinter van, and just saying how the cousin is super excited to see them. Then she's like, Is Meredith here? Oh, you're so quiet. I was like, Are we missing her? She's like, No, I'm being quiet in the corner as per my responsibilities as a legal consultant for this show. I am counsel. I'm in the corner. So Whitney's like, Oh, come on. What's wrong? Like, I literally don't understand how we go from waking up this morning. She's really happy to sourpice and miserable. Well, Whitney's making it sound like Meredith is just having a mood swing. She was literally just attacked by Bronwyn. Bronwyn accused her of being disingenuine. And on top of that, like, airing out a private conversation that happened off camera, on camera. So Meredith is like, Fuck these bitches. And I know that tonight's going to be a shit show, and I'm over I made them all coffee. And Whitney's acting like, Oh, wow. Look at her on drugs, having a mood swing.

Yeah. And Angie is like, Guys, please have some impulse control in Greece. This is Greece. And my cousin is so excited to meet you all. Let's make it a positive experience. And Lisa's like, Is this what we wear to meet cuz? Is this like cousin meeting attire? Your nipples are showing. She's like, I am out of clothes. I'm out of clothes. So So, Angie almost falls down these stairs because, of course, there's a lot of stairs to this place. And she's like, Oh, my God! My life keeps flashing before my eyes. It's all Greek letters. I've got to up the life insurance policy at the rate I'm going.

So, then they said they hugged Michalas, and they have a nice lunch and everything. She said that her cousin immediately jumped on a ferry to go meet them for lunch as soon as she said she was coming to Greece. He starts talking about the grandfather and how he was born in 1890 and talking about the war and how they were affected and everything. Then he left from Creech to go to the United States because there were a lot of jobs in mines, and that attracted a lot of Greeks to the region.

Andy's like, Well, that's great to know all of that stuff about the mines. But you know what? I don't know anything about my mother. You knew my mother, right, cousin? And he's like, Mm-hmm. Okay, Okay, well, I asked if he remembered my mom, but you do, right? Because I don't know any stories of my mom. And he's like, I knew your mom. I was like, damn. Okay, well, cousin's not going to help with any stories about… Cousin hated your mom. Just going to put it out there. He have nothing to say. She's like, I would just like, What story about my mom? He's like, She didn't pay the tab. Last time we went to dinner, I had to pay her tab. Come on, man. Give me something. She talks about how she doesn't have any of her mom's stories because her mom passed away so long ago. He's like, Well, I can take you to her town or whatever. She wants to take Electra to that side of… She wants Electra to see that side because Electra only cares about her horse side of the family. We've got to change that.

Yeah. After lunch, they get back in the sprinter van, and Angie's like, I knew he was just going to be eating you guys up and just loving it. So, Meredith is muttering to Lisa. She's like, Well, I don't even know why I'm here. It's not a big deal. I'm like, Why am I even here in a sprinter van? I've got a toddler at home that needs to be fed white bean. Heather's like, so Heather starts talking to Bronwyn. She goes, Are you okay?

And honestly, I have to say this is where Meredith loses me all the time. This attitude of like, Well, I guess I'm just not ever going to speak. It's like, Oh, my God. You need to have the energy start off in the morning where you make people cappuccinos and acting like nothing bothers you. You need to keep that energy.

Yeah. Because it never works on housewives when someone's like, Fine, you're going to be mean to me. I'm just going to be here in the corner. We look at the window. They hate that. They hate that. Most people actually hate that. Then, Brown-win. Heather, meanwhile, is having a conversation with Brown-win extra loud. Like, Are you okay, Brown-win? What happened? Please speak up for the van. Brown-win is like, Well, I mean, I'll say it. After we all went to bed last night, Meredith texted me and said she wanted to talk, and there was something that was said in the conversation that I feel uncomfortable about. And Meredith said it to me, said it to me that's been a lot. For weeks, I felt targeted and lies had been said about me. And what did you guys talk about at lunch? And it's like, I, again, just don't think this is crazy. So Marith is like, And this is where we have a sticking point because Ronwen thinks I was pumping her for information.

And I wouldn't have said something if it was the first time. I wouldn't have. And Heather goes, Well, were you pumping her? She's like, No, I was not. I was not. Well, she did. She started to try, in my opinion, to gaslight the fucking shit out of me. That's the nicest way I can say that. That's the nicest way.

I am so tired of this. This is a load of shit.

My God. Well, you did ask me questions. You wanted me to tell you about it. No, I did not. No, I did not. She's like, And then she said, I was lying about that conversation and saying, I didn't say that. She goes, Well, I didn't ask. I made a statement about the lunch.

And Bron was like, I said, I'm not fucking dealing with Ms. Marks Esquire. I'm trying to deal with a friend. I want to be friends with you. I've stood up for you at some point, sometime. I don't know really when. I've fucked other relationships for you, which is on me. Which? I've fucked up a relationship with Whitney Rose, the most important relationship someone could have. And that's on me. But how much more do I have to bleed out for you before you stop fucking with me with other people? I'm exactly fucking right. And you're quiet for once without any legalese behind it because you know it's true. Fuck it, Meredith. I was like, damn.

She's so annoying.

I mean, I thought it was a really good monolog. I may not have agreed with it, but I was like, as monologs go, that was a good one.

It's just typical Bronwyn, like getting yourself all worked up to be mad over nothing. Like, okay, so you're mad because she asked you what happened at lunch. Okay. Congratulations. You've reached the end of part one of a two-part recap. For part two, go look for the recap that says part two. See you over there, suckers.

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