Transcript of #3147 RHOSLC S615: You Can Grape Leaves!

Who cares what happens when there's so much that happens. Well, hello, and welcome to Watch What Cravens.

I'm Roni. That's Ben over there. Hello, Ben.

Hi, Roni. How's it going?

Good. How's it going over there with you?

Well, I am really excited because we have a very big announcement for today, which is that the Golden Crappies are back, baby. We have now an official date. They are going to be on February 27th. Here in Los Angeles. It's a Los Angeles year. We go back and forth, New York and LA, and it's going to be at the Fonda Theater. It's going to be Friday, February 27th, and tickets will be going on sale this Friday at 10: 00 AM Pacific. Furthermore, if you are a Patreon member, you have access to our presale, which is on Thursday, which will be tomorrow, and that's going to go from 10: 00 AM to 10: 00 PM Pacific time. So you get a A window, a window of time to access those tickets ahead of everyone else. So we are really, really excited. We are really thrilled. Last year's was life-changing and wonderful, and we're just going to try to top it again this year. And of course, there will We will be live streaming. We will have more details about that when that is set up, but that's not ready to go just yet, but we don't want to delay the tickets.

Be sure to go get your tickets, and we will have that ticket link up on Friday at Watch Whatsometimes. Com.

Yes.

Are you excited, Roni?

Yes, I'm so excited. It's our awards season. We're going to go to the Golden Globe nominations announcement tomorrow.

So exciting.

It's pretty fancy. Yeah. It's We weren't shortlisted for that. We weren't shortlisted for that. What's that?

I said we weren't shortlisted for the Golden Globes, but it's an honor just to be non-nominated.

In a room with the people that were not. Oh, yeah. They have a podcast category this year. Yeah. That's what it's worth. Well, at least we can go there and be like, Fuck all of you. Fuck all of you. How dare you.

I just realized as I was saying this, I was like, Oh, I guess I should put the ticket link on our website. But let me put that on my to-do list. Put actual ticket link up. But we will have all those details. It'll be on our social media. It'll be everywhere. There was something else I was going to say about it, but just that it's going to be a great time.

Yeah, it's going to be so exciting. It's a great season because that means category formation, category voting. It's about to be a long season for all of us to get involved, create the show with us, which is always super fun. That will be coming out. Tickets will be coming Friday. So come. It's going to be a good time. Good time in Los Angeles, people.

Keep an eye out on our social media because like Roni said, we do have to create the ballot. The first step is we're going to solicit ideas of what your favorite moments, fights, villains, details, quotes. We want to get all that information because we've been trying to keep notes all year long, but it's just really hard. We're going to gather it all up, and then we're going to have a round one of voting, which is who makes it onto the ballot. Then we will have round two, which is the ballot itself. Then step three, of course, is the ceremony itself, where we will announce the winners. It's always such a fun time for us.

Yes. Okay. Well, today is also a very special day because it's the season finale of Real Housewives of Salt Lake City in real-time. But guess what? We were on vacation last week, and sometimes we just can't pass things up on vacation. This is one of them. We have to cover last week's episode, Opas and Outbursts. We're going to start with that. Season 6, episode 15, Opas and Outbursts: Angie's Grease Trip. On Salt Lake City. Here we are on day three of Angela's Greek trip.

Yes. It opens up with my favorite way for a show to open up, Good old fashioned slapstick. People are waking up, they're in the kitchen, everything. We see this random cutaway shot of just a server putting a jug of orange juice on the kitchen island. I'm thinking to myself, That's strange. Why would they show that? Then they cut to Angie She's walking down the hallway, and then she disappears around a corner. We hear a clatter, and we see bowls and apples rolling on the floor. It becomes evident that Angie has somehow stumbled into this poor waiter who had a giant tray of their entire breakfasts, and disaster has ensued.

A tray to the face, stuff all over the floor. She's bleeding again. She's bleeding on the lip. I mean, God bless her. She's already lost finger this season. Lots of going on with Angie. And Ron was like, Angie, you should travel with a reusable ice pack at this point. Everywhere we go. I'm like, Could someone hit her in the face with the tray? Make her head stop shaking. It's like a bobblehead that wants… Just stop it. Get her with the tray. Why do you always get the wrong ones? I feel like I'm going to steal Magnolia. It's like, Here, hit Wiza.

So Angie is… She has. So not only did she crash into the tray, I guess this is the perils of being a shorter person, is that when she crashed into the tray, she was at tray height. So she literally, she somehow cut her the inside of her lip with a glass that went flying. I don't know how this happens. I feel like in all the years of watching slapstick scenes of people crashing into waiters with trays, we've never seen someone emerge with a bloody lip. And normally it's a cake in the face. I was expecting her to come around the corner with Frosting all over her face like Mrs. Doubtfire, but somehow she had a bloody Yeah.

She wants to cry and stuff, and Lisa's like, Oh, my God. It's like you have a fat lip, right? And Bronwyn's like, No. Her lip always looks like that. She pays a lot of money for her lip to look like that.

Then we cut to Meredith, and she's out by the pool, and Lisa comes out there, and she's like, Hi, good morning. What are you doing out here? I was like, Well, I'm just sitting here, and I put a little mask on, and I I want to let it sit for 20 minutes. You look good. Lisa's like, Thank you. Yeah, I have this lady here. She does such a good job with my makeup. I wish I could take her back with me. Bring her back to America. Well, first of all, I slept really well last night. A rock, like a rock, okay? Like a good old Chevy truck. When they sing that song about the pickup truck, they're singing about the way I slept last night, which was very much needed.

Yeah, and Meredith is in her I'm happy voice. She's like, Hi, honey. You know that voice she does? She's just putting happiness everywhere. Lisa's like, Wow, you seem happier. Meredith is like, Well, I don't think Pina Coladas help you sleep, Lisa? But you know what? I had so much fun last night. I just crushed. We see a flashback to the girls dancing and drinking and having fun. She's like, Oh, that was fun. That was actually really fun having She's going to start… Meredith has had to reset 90 times this season, but God bless her, she just keeps coming out, and she's like, Today, I'm going to be positive, and no one is going to mess with me because I'm going to have such a positive attitude. But that would disrupt the plans for the whole season. It's not going to work. But right now, she's like, Well, I'm starting the day on a good now, like we are in greens. We are friends. We love bean salad. Let's just pull it together and have some fun. Yes. We'll see how that goes.

It's not going to work. Like you mentioned, she's had to restart many times. She's basically like my water heater at this point, which is that every day I have to go up there and like, unplug it and plug it back in. That way I get hot water.

Yeah, it's just a car that you never know if it's going to be able to start. You just hear it down in the winter cold. It's like, Oh, gosh, it's going to start up. It's going to start up.

So Angie is talking…

It started. It started. Yes.

So Angie is talking to Artemis, the wardrobe designer, and the fine Dress photoshoot is a quintessential Greek experience. You pick a gorgeous dress, and then we get our photos taken on the epic white stairs of Oya, and it's going to be a keepsake that they can have for the rest of their lives. Well, I mean, this is nice and everything. They're going to do a photoshoot and shoot in bright colors on the stairs of Santorini. But I mean, Angie's acting like she's giving everyone Fabrijay eggs. It's just one of a million photosheets that these women do at all times.

She actually made it out of this unscathed because usually it does not end well when you bring outfits for the other housewives. It never works out well.

Dubai, most people- I do not wear mustard yellow.

Yeah, but it worked. Brittany comes in and she's like, Oh, I love the orange. She leaves and she's like, Wow, Artemis. She picked the ugliest color. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Lisa is like, I don't know why every trip we have to go on involves dressing up. Usually, I show up to the point where I walk into a beach club and people are like, I'd die for your other. The only thing I liked was when they all dressed like me. We see a flashback to the Lisa, the Lisa party.

That was a good one. The lunch of a thousand Lisas where everybody had to dress up like Lisa for lunch. She's like, Hi, we're here for Lisa's. Lisa's here for lunch. They greet their photographer. Okay, so now they have their photoshoot.

One thing I noticed, by the way, real quickly, is that when they all walked out in these dresses, they're these big flowing dresses in largely primary… Well, not primary colors, but they're just bold colors. I don't know if you noticed, but Lisa, she put a little Chanel pin around her waistline as if it were a Chanel dress. I was like, Lisa, these are dresses by Artemis. This is not a Chanel dress. Why are you putting a little Chanel pendant on it? It was the funniest thing.

So, Bronwyn is watching Angie pose, and she's like, Go, Ang, you look like a mother. I think it's just mother. I don't think you're supposed to say you look like a mother, right? No. Does she mean it in the gay way, or does she mean it in the mother's day way?

It was actually a callback to Meredith's spot mitzvah because the high body count here, what preceded it was Angie saying, Look at the way you dress. I look like a mother. You look like a slut, basically. That was when she called back to Angie saying that she dressed... She looks beautiful. She's dressed like a good mother.

Oh, That's funny. Then Brittany is like… She's like, I don't even need a countdown. Just take a bunch. I'll just move around a little bit. Just focus on my teeth. Just focus on my teeth. Brittany is always taking pictures. She's She was asking if she's got something stuck between her front two teeth, the Cilindro.

Yeah. Brittany is… She's just a treasure. A treasure in Greece right now. Then Brittany is like, she's like, I feel like a ray of sunshine wearing orange. I feel like Eos, the Goddess of the Morning Sky. Yes! I was so proud of Brittany that she looked up a Greek Goddess, that she looked up Eos and wasn't confused by that. Isn't that also the name of a gym? Eos? Eos gym?

It's also the name of a captain at Disneyland, played by Michael Jackson. Without the S at the end. All the girls are posing, and they have to say what Greek goddesses they've been. Mary is like, I want to be the Greek goddess of realness. Do you have a Greek goddess of taking old people's money for your purses from your church? Oh, we have the documentary, We We have it. I can't wait to see what they do next year with Mary's documentary. Do you think anyone's going to bring it up? Again, even though they did four years ago. Nobody seems to remember.

It depends on how desperate Whitney is for content.

Yeah, how bold they are because they seem scared to say anything. I think they're just like, Just leave Mary alone. Yeah. Heather is like, I would be the Greek Goddess of Feta if I didn't smell weird.

There probably already is a Greek Goddess of Feta. I'm just going to say that right now. I feel like if you really dive deep into the Greek myths, there's a Greek God or Goddess for really everything that was part of Greek culture. You know, thousands of years ago. I don't know why I'm taking this stance. I'm like, No, Heather, you don't get to be the Greek Goddess of Pheta. That already exists. Choose a different cheese, bitch. I'm like, mad at her. I'm not going to let her have Pheta.

There is no. There is no Feta, a Greek Goddess. I looked it up. There is, however, Vesta, who was the virgin Goddess of the earth, home and the family. But you know that's different. Pheta doesn't get to take that mantle.

Yeah. I mean, who does she think she is? Hephistes. What do you think you are? Demeter. Why don't you go back to Hades? Persephone.

Well, I would be the goddess of the I see because I could be swimming with all the sterile to get more caviar. Fun, Meredith.

Fun, Meredith. It is?

It's I really don't know what to do with this task. Stealing babies from the ocean. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crapins commercial.

The producers were like, Here's It's a fun game, which, by the way, I'm like, okay, producers of Bravo, I'm okay if we stop doing these games with all the housewives, where we go around the horn and talk about some like, What would you do in this situation? I'm okay if we don't do these anymore. I don't love them. But also, it's like, hilarious that they really don't know what to do here. I'm going to be the great goddess of toddlers. Well, that sounds a little weird. Fish toddlers. What do you mean? I would be the goddess of little cats sitting on dashboards going like this every time you went over a speed bump.

I would be the Greek goddess of banana splits with cherries on top that no one steals. Meanwhile, Whitney and Heather are the goddesses of trying to start shit when nothing bad is going on. Everybody's having a good day, and Whitney's like, Mother is serving. By the way, Heather, have you noticed how happy Meredith is today? She's like, Yeah, she's happy as a clam. Like old Meredith, let's break this. Bron was like, I want to whisper. What are you guys whispering about? Well, just Meredith. I mean, she's had a full switch up. I mean, is this since the pool? Yeah. How long do you think it's going to last? I bet it doesn't last a whole trip. Well, based on her pattern, it'll last until tomorrow morning. Based on her pattern, it'll last until you two fuck it up and make her cry again.

Yes, that is the pattern. Okay, first of all, they're acting like a Meredith Marks mood swing as a new thing. Have you have they not been watching this show since season one? This is what Meredith Marks does, especially on vacation. How many times have we seen Meredith fully screaming at her cast mates, and then it cuts to them like all cavorting in the hot tub. Like, I'm like, this, this, the Meredith Marks swings. That's just part of who she is. That's what we all love about her.

Yeah, she's a swing-a. Also, by the way, I also would like to say, if I'm They're on vacation with someone and they are cranky as fuck the night before, and then they wake up in a good mood.

I'm not questioning it. I'm happy for it. I'm like, Thank God. I'm moving forward, and I'm not trying to mess it up again. But these two are actively trying to drag her back into it every single instance. Obviously, I think most of us have seen the season finale. It just happens all over again. It's enraging at a certain point. Just stop it already.

Yeah. Half the ladies are going to go lunch, and half the ladies are going to go to the spa. Meredith, Lisa, and Avexia, sorry, that's the name of the spa. Heather, Brittany, Meredith, and Lisa are going to Avexia, the Greek Goddess of Spas. And Meredith is pointing out. She's like, Well, guys, I just want everyone to see that there's a quiet zone sign.

Well, there are only two volumes in this group, loud and louder. Then we go to the other three at lunch, and they're just talking about the dresses and everything, and Bronwyn is That's funny.

They're just making all this small talk like, Wow, we got to make dresses. That was so fun making dresses. Wow, dresses. Dresses was stupid. You know Mary? She's like, That was dumb. Let's talk about Meredith. I'm worried that Meredith is an alcoholic and a drug addict. A hoolic. Meredith is a drugaholic. What are we going to do about it? I was like, Oh, for Christ's sake.

Can we go quick? We just have one lunch. They are now- They are now. They're speculating about Meredith. They're concerned. All three of them are actually quite concerned. Mary is very, very concerned. Mary is- I just want to point out that they're concerned because Meredith is in a good mood today.

That's why they're very concerned at lunch, okay? They already had this planned out where they're going to get together and talk about how concerned they are and make Meredith out to be an alcoholic again. But Meredith showed up in a good mood, and they can't even change their plan. They're like, Well, let's just still show up and talk about how worried we are about Meredith. Did you see Meredith this morning smiling, laughing, and having a good time? We should institutionalize her.

Yeah. Let's discuss that. Mary is saying that she feels like Meredith is fragile. She's like, That's not my Meredith. Meredith is going through something that's really taking a toll on her mental That's just something… That's the way she's acting. It's her behavior. Something's wrong. There are too many highs and too many lows and too many mediums. I'm like, If there's too many highs, too many lows, and too many mediums, it seems like you're averaging out to be pretty standard.

Sounds like sanity.

But I feel like Mary is the one who, when she is concerned… I do think that there's a little bit of a red flag there because I don't think Mary is the type… Whitney is the type to be concerned, and you question whether or not she's really concerned or she's just trying to have a moment on TV. But I feel like Mary, when she's concerned, that's a genuine thing. But I also think that Mary is probably extra sensitive to it right now because of stuff going on in her life. Maybe there is a possibility that she might be reading into things too much. It's a little hard to say, but they are both- I don't think it's more important that Mary's concerned.

I don't get that. I do get it. I get what you're saying, but I don't agree. I don't trust Mary's instinct more than anybody else's. I don't know where that comes from. I mean, Mary seems the most… It's like an audience thing, not just a you thing, because I feel like that's a pretty… I feel like everyone's like, Well, Mary's saying it. Mary's one of the most emotionally unstable here. When we've seen Mary fight with people, it's like, Oh, my God, do you remember when I called you and you didn't call me back because you were doing carpool? How dare you? She has a fit and leaves a restaurant, won't speak to somebody for six months. That's true. I don't know that I would really trust Mary's emotional regulation skill. I think that she's just very easily led by the other people. These people the whole season are like, Oh, my God, she's an alcoholic like my father. Then Mary is like, Oh, my God, drug and alcohol, that's a very important thing to me right now because of my son. I'm very upset about drug and alcohol. I don't know. I don't really rely on Mary as my best test for people's emotional well-being.

Are you saying that the brainwasher has become the brainwashy?

Exactly. Especially seeing how many people Mary has put through emotional hell on that- It's a fair point.

We do forget that she has quite the history of being in really skewed, or taking strange stances on arguments. There is that. But I do think that Mary will not go down this path just for TV. I don't think that there's a cynical element to her feelings the way I think there is a cynical element to Whitney. And Bronwyn, juries out a little bit. But Mary feels like that Meredith is suffering. She has a whole big monolog here and she talks about how it's a lot because she's dealing with it with her child. She recognizes the behaviors, and when she sees Meredith, it just tugs at her in a whole different light because she recognizes it. She's seen the signs with her son, and she just knows that something is just not right. Then Bronwyn chimes in. She's like, Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Well, I'm also worried about something, and it feels weird. I was just looking at Meredith, and I thought, Gosh, would she ever be able to have a Bob? I don't think she could. That's really disturbing to me. That's a real big issue for me. I don't think I can get by that.

Yeah. We have a whole Whitney monolog. It's like my dad because one minute we're good, and the next minute he would rage. And Meredith is just like that. I'm like, You're on a housewife show. You just described the blueprint for a housewife show. So they decide that she needs help. Yeah, and then Bronwyn switches it. Bronwyn switches it, too. Okay, well, now that we're talking about how much she needs help, let me just straight up betray her right now and make sure that we send her into an emotional spiral. These people are all vipers, I feel like, at this.

Bronwyn now does this whole thing where she goes, Well, so something happened in January. I've been thinking about it for a couple of months now, and I thought the cast trip would be the time to bring it out. I ran into Seth out in New York. Todd and I were at this Italian restaurant. He stops and he said, Hi to Todd. Todd's like, What are you doing? He was like, Oh, I'm with an investor. Just felt weird. Just felt weird. I'm like, This feels… This does not… This feels like a weird… I don't think this is strong evidence for Bronwyn, and I feel like this is salacious. I don't think that Bronwyn… Bronwyn doesn't like it when people have insinuated about her and her- Bronwyn literally just made a rule two weeks ago that we can't talk about each other's husbands.

She cried and she had this whole thing. I'm like, Okay, fine. If we're moving on, then no talking about each other's husbands. And then here she is, two weeks later, insinuating that this man is having an affair. The man works in New York. Who cares if he's out with a woman? Are men not allowed to go have… She's ridiculous.

Yeah, I think this is a little bit ridiculous. And so Mary is saying, Well, what are you saying? And Bronwyn says, I'm saying I saw Seth with a woman in a restaurant. I mean, Bronwyn is doing some heavy implications here, which is, by the way, that is straight out of the Meredith Marks' playbook, to be fair. That's what Meredith would say. I'm just saying I saw him with a woman, that's all. If you want to imply something, then I'm here, and I never said it. But I just wish Bronwyn would say it looked like he was cheating. Just say it. Just put it out there. She doesn't want to say it, but she wants to… She does, but she doesn't. She says, Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Well, my first thought was not, Oh, sets on a date with someone because I'm not like that, and I wouldn't want someone to assume that. But I start to feel like, as I watch her be so defensive when people talk about her marriage, there's something wrong here. When I was going through something with Todd, and I wasn't all the way through it, it was very defensive. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

She's saying, No, it wasn't a date at all, but Meredith is so defensive, so I wonder if something's going on between the two of them.

I'm like, got to pick a date at this point. I'm not saying it's a date at all. I'm just saying I'm very worried about Meredith because Seth was caught with a woman in a restaurant. We're not all idiots. You're very clear in what you're saying. She's like, Oh, gosh. I feel vulnerable because when you and your partner are rocky, it's just so scary. Oh, my God. Get your husband off fucking Instagram porn, first of all, before you come in. I don't know why I'm feeling so defensive for Meredith in this, because I see that Meredith has problems as well. But I just see these people as being so gross, especially Bronwyn. Especially for Bronwyn to be the grossest when she's surrounded by Whitney and Heather is pretty bad. But I think Bronwyn is the worst here for doing her whole crying, and let's leave our husbands out of it, and na, na, na, na, na Who did Brittany? Who was Brittany? Brittany and Whitney. Okay.

I do agree that if you can't do a whole Revolutionary War, new Constitution, don't talk about all these things, and then you talk about it. I actually believe that Bronwyn's concern is sincere because I think Bronwyn is going through something similar. She's just as Mary is going through something that that seems similar, that when you feel what's going on in your life, you want to help someone that you feel like it's going through it as well. I actually feel I don't feel like Ronwen is being insincere and just trying to get Meredith for the show. But I do think she should be more considerate, considering that she just had this whole thing about, We're not talking about this stuff, and we're going to be focusing on sisterhood or whatever. Yada, yada, yada.

I think she's being 100% insincere and shitty for the show to be friends with the other. I'll have to respectfully disagree with you, although I think she's just being completely shitty with this whole thing. Who does that? Who does that? Two weeks after being like, No, don't come for the husband, to be like, Well, her husband was seen with somebody else, and I just worry because she seems scared to death. She just seems scared to death. She's scared to death of you people. She can't have one week without you guys accusing her of being a drug addict or her husband cheating on her. So what do you expect? So Mary is like, Well, I feel like if stuff is said and it's not true, then it doesn't bother you. Okay. We'll see when it happens to you.

We'll just go back to about the past five reunions, Mary, with people asking questions about you and your cult. Then we now go to the Girls at the Spa, and everyone, they have to whisper because it's a quiet spa, which is great. They're walking in this like a water path, and they're walking through it, and they're being quiet, and they're walking. Then Brittany comes by, she's like, Hey, guys. Then she starts flashing them with water, and they're all really annoyed because it's a spa. This is not a public pool.

Yeah, but it's also housewives. They just hate Brittany. They just hate her. Oh, my God, they hate her. Heather would have been doing the same thing, but Brittany beat her to it. So now they're like, How dare you? Heather's like, Well, Brittany's doing what everyone hates, which is being Brittany and bringing the playful la la la attitude to what should be a very serious spa day.

So Angie is basically saying, God, Lisa is so immature. Meredith is like, No one in a spa is flashing each other. It's the wrong environment. Maybe she's never been to the spa.

I don't know. Angie is like, We don't want to be redoing our hair before dinner tonight. Stop doing that. It's rude. It's very rude.

So Brittany is like, But we're in Creece. I mean, have a little fun. Last trip, I had buckets of water being poured over my head, and you guys can't even handle a little splashy splash. I'm like, Well, A, because you're Brittany and you're a friend of, and the rule of friend of, apparently on this show, is that you can throw water or liquids on people's heads. Let's cut into Jen Shah pouring champagne on the NGK's head, season three. But also, it was like, yeah, I don't know. I agree. Don't be doing splashy splash. Although, actually, it wasn't really that bad of a splash. It was like a flick. But I think they were like, shut up, Brittany. Shut up, Brittany.

I think I'm not really aware they're coming for Brittany for this. This is silly. Then the girls are now in robes sitting in the quiet zone. We keep seeing quiet zone closeups. Lisa's like, Hey, you guys. I just want to remind you. You have to whisper. It's a quiet zone. It's a quiet zone.

Yeah. Hi. Why did you get their hair wet, Brett? She had a fresh blowout. Yes. It took me an hour to blow my hair out this morning with a bad hand. And you poured water on it. I had a really bad morning with dry hair, and now it's wet hair. Why did you do that? And now it's crusty.

Because I just wanted to lighten the mood, you guys. Well, why did the mood need to be lightened? We're in a dense state. We don't need to be lightened. And she's like, But, I mean, you're a hair expert. She's like, Who cares? It takes an hour. But it does not take her an hour. She's an expert, she says. Yeah, but you know what? It's because your hair is synthetic and it doesn't take as long. That's why you have fake hair. Sounds synthetic? It doesn't take as long to comb a ziploc bag. That's just how it is.

No, it's real hair. It came from my real head. It has real follicles. Okay, well, it feels-I still lived for my daughter while she was sleeping.

We just wanted to be closer.

Yeah, my hair feels crusty. It's like people's piss.

So, and you- To Olivia walking into a musical theater rehearsal just with a shaved head. You guys, I don't know what happened. I don't know what happened.

It's my mother.

All I saw on the ring cam was a little unicorn. I don't know.

It said, You are loved. So Angie's like, I wash my hair with the most expensive product. I scissor the treatment in and I blow it out with full tension so it looks like glass, and then I finish it off with a very nice oil, and this takes some serious work. So there's a reason that your hair looks like it does, and mine looks like it does. Which I love. Yeah. That's why yours looks like it does, and that's why mine looks like it does.

This is called at Fart. I am Greek. What does scissoring stuff into your hair mean?

It's like when you do your hair, but you're also having a lesbian experience. Just kidding. No, I think it's like you put it, I think, you put it in your hair, but you take... Well, scissoring. I thought it was like you brush it in. I don't... Scissoring it in. The way she showed it was like she was taking How do you use a brush or a comb and combing it in like that. Let me see. How do you scissor product into your hair?

I want to know what scissoring product into your hair is. I find the world of hair to be so interesting. As a hair non-abled person, as a dys follically-abled person, I don't know what the nice term would be. I don't want to say bald. It just sounds baldest. But I just am curious. It's a whole different world.

Maybe she means scraping it into the hair because according to Google AI, which, as we all know, is a very accurate source, scissoring product into your hair isn't a standard term, but it likely refers to using hair cutting techniques with scissors to create texture or applying products like texture powder to achieve similar scissor or maybe- That sounds dangerous for Angie, especially.

Accident prone Angie, to just be putting product in her hair with scissors. But you You know what? Who am I to judge a bold person? That's who. Okay? So Brittany's like, This is so irritating. I mean, you guys are supposed to be my friends. I mean, no one's even asked me if Olivia texted me yesterday, and she goes, Okay, well, then why would you say something nasty to me when I was upset about a similar situation?

Well, I'm just saying, at least you got to see your kids. I didn't get to see mine for three years. Yeah, but you said that was based on your choices, not based on anything else. No, it was not based on my choices. You have no idea what I've been through. You have no idea. It's like, I actually all know because you keep on talking about it.

Yeah, you said they know because you said it. Lisa's like, Yeah, but you know why? You said to the group, I remember it was when you had really terrible crinkly ziploc hair, and you said, Based on your decisions, your kids do... You put men before your kids. You said that. You said that you even put men before conditioner or hot oil treatments. You said that. You're the one who said it. She was like, No. She said, No.

She But I was being very vulnerable and self-deprecating.

And dry-haired. And dry-haired as well.

Yeah. Dry-haired. Dry-haired and not famous on Broadway-ish. No. When? Yeah.

You were saying it in a very split-ended way. She goes, You know what? It's like, Don't judge her on how she mothers when you don't want people to judge you based on how you mother. She's like, Oh, okay. This is totally apples and oranges. Okay. Well, how is it different? You can comment on my child, but I can't comment on your child.

So, Papa, you do it to deflect. I did not. We were in a fucking cooking class where I was crying because it was Mother's Day, and I didn't get to speak to my baby. It could have been in the first words. And you were in the middle of a heated argument, and then you started crying. Commercials. Here comes one right now.

So now we see flashback. A flashback to the van, and they're still fighting about the high body count trademark, the high body hair, high count body hair or whatever. Brittany's crying, and she's like, How could you guys come for me? Nobody even called me on Mother's Day. You know she meant Jared, right away.

That's probably what she really meant. And they were like, Brittany, it's still noon over in Utah. It's okay. So Meredith is like, Well, I didn't I'll do that. Yeah. And then I thought you fake cried last night, honestly. Because Brittany is theatrical all the time, and it's like, she has a checklist. It's like she's in the middle of an argument, and then she's like, Okay, I'm going to cry about Olivia now, and I need empathy because I'm losing this argument. So cry, I'm like, I'm going to cry, cry about my daughters. I'm like, it's so pathetic and sad. And like, Okay, everyone feel bad for me. I need attention. Did I get enough? Yes, done check. Which I'm like, That is a very fair assessment. But also, you guys all literally do that anytime you're caught in an argument. You feel like, especially Lisa Barlow It's like, Hey Lisa, what's going on with that money that you owe? Oh my God. Henry. Henry's playing video games. It's just a lot right now. I once was tied to a pole by my sister's. Jack just had to have dinner at a restaurant in Campoja that didn't have a Michelin star, and it's really odd for me.

I had to go eat and eat food with very fresh, beautiful ingredients. Have you watched Lisa, by the on Worst Cooks in America? Because she's on that at the moment.

No. How is that? Have you watched it?

Hell, no. I'm not going to watch that. I mean, I used to watch it, but Food Network is just so… It's unwatchable now, but I was hoping that you would watch it.

No, especially with Anne gone. I'm not watching with Anne gone. I would watch it for a second with Anne because Anne had this way… She just had this way of being like, I fucking hate this, with her knee-high pantyhose or whatever. She just felt like, I fucking hate all of you, and I want you to die. I love that attitude. Without it, I just... Although with Lisa, I could see myself checking that out with Lisa. I didn't know it was on. Okay, I'll watch it. Okay, yes, we'll recap it. Okay, yes, we'll do every single one of this.

Okay, fine. We'll recap every season that we've missed so far.

Rip, and I miss you every day. I know.

Rip, Anne Burrell.

Love Anne Burrell. Every time I cut an onion, I'm like, Anne Burrell taught me how to do this. Anne fucking Burrell taught me how to do this.

I know, for real.

In my actual kitchen. I mean, she was on TV, but I was in my kitchen.

Yeah, she was the best. So Brittany is like, Well, so you thought I fake cried? Or you're just saying that it turned to hurt my feelings. No, I just think that you're dramatic. And Heather's like, Well, it was real. I was there. I was there with the sisterhood. It was like, No, I'm not kidding. I really thought it was fake. Well, guess what? You garnered the sympathy you needed and everybody softened, and the whole dynamic changed. Oh, really? A change? I don't think so. We got right back to it. You know, it's just sad. It's sad that I can't even speak up, and I'm sick of walking on eggshells around Meredith so that somebody or something doesn't set her off. It's just not fair.

Is that what you do, Lisa? You garner sympathy so that everyone will be softer with you? Is that what you do, Meredith? She goes, No, that is not what I do. An employee comes in and she's like, Please, please, quiet zone. Please be quiet.

Please. Lisa, be quiet.

But Lisa- Okay, yeah. So I'm going to say it in a whisper, You can't be like, My kids mean more to me than her kids mean to her. And you especially can't say that when your hair is so dry.

Yeah. She's like, But that's not what I was saying. While I came across that way. And I'm just saying she used it. And she gets to see her kids on the daily. I don't get to see mine. I had the worst mother say, Well, you know what? Because I break my ass up to make my relationships with my kids. Okay? So don't you dare, don't you dare, don't you dare? Don't you dare?

So then she gets up. She's like, I am going to. And she's like, Oh, yeah. As if I don't try with my children. I just got my child some steam milk, and told her, Don't you remember when you used to get the steeped falafel? What'd they call it?

The Waffle? The steamer. Remember the steamers at Starbucks? And Murda was like, I cannot stand her. Please be quiet, ma'am.

Please be quiet. I cannot I can't do it anymore. I cannot stand her.

So Brittany said, Go away. Disengage, Meredith. Disengage. Well, I don't want to be around you. I don't like you, and you're absolutely despicable. I hate you so much. I'm doing my patented five-finger pat-down point at you. I do not like you whatsoever.

You are the specter. Well, it was going so well. Meredith was finally then until the annoying little sister started to poke the bear. You know, Brittany can never just leave things the way they are. She had to antagonize Meredith. And so Brittany's like, Well, then you can leave then. And Angie goes, And also, you keep using other people's lines. You can't do that.

Don't trademark that.

Yeah, don't trademark that. Please be quiet. Please, please be quiet.

So now we're back at the house, and Lisa gives Bronwyn a mark on the chart next to Stop the reactive abuse. Heather's trying to steam her dress, and Heather has one of those travel steamers, and then all of a sudden, the steamer starts exploding out liquid. Oh, my God. I mean, how could the steamer do this to the sisterhood? You know, a lot of people might think that I'd be offended by taking it in the face while I'm steaming Whitney's dress, but I liked it. Okay, we need to, we need to officially rein in Heather. Like, it's, it's too, it's too much.

Look at me. Just another sexually-attractive, viable woman out here in the streets. What is this stream? What is this steamer? A Captain Jason streamer? It just splooged all over my face. What? I never said anything about Captain Jason.

It's just too much winking at the audience. I can't anymore. Okay? I really can't. I need to get back to the Heather Gay that I fell in love with, who who was just sharing her truth and not doing it. Let me be. Let me do that. Let me be really thirsty for laughs, okay? But you, you just, you just live your truth, please.

Yeah. Well, she's always been like this. She's just getting needier as it goes on. You would think that you'd get a little more confidence as the show went on and you gained more popularity and stuff, but it's like the bigger your gulp, the thirstier you get. It's weird. Heather's like, and I would just like to point this out because it's Heather and Whitney in their room, and this becomes a huge plot line in a way later. I'd just like to point out that Heather says this. I'm serious. What happened at lunch?

Oh, yeah. There we go.

Because this becomes a cardinal sin later. But Whitney's like, Lunch was so sad. What did you talk about that was sad? Meredith, her behavior and the way she's been showing up and our concerns about her, Bronwyn and Mary, we all talked about how we've noticed a change in Meredith. She might as well be walking around in a black mullet wig and watching me on a strip hole. She's so much like my dad.

And so, Whitney was, Whitney is saying how Mary started to cry and was sweet, and she loves Meredith so much. Heather said, Well, what did she say?

Oh, yeah. Whitney loves Meredith. Whitney has always just wanted to be friends with Mary.

She's saying Mary loves Mary loves Meredith. Okay. Thank you. So, Whitney's like, She's just worried about her. She recognizes that her behavior is off and different. So, Heather tells us, I feel relieved that more people are concerned about Meredith. I just don't know that she can be unengaged and then immediately freak out. And I don't understand it, but it's a pattern. It's called being on the show, being happy, being angry. It's a pattern. And you just hit reset because if you don't hit reset, you're going to lose your You know what else is a pattern?

Group dinners where you get belligerently drunk and start screaming at somebody and cutting them down in front of the whole group and then abusing them as they walk away. I wonder if that's going to happen today. Whitney's like, Wow, I was really trying to figure out so many things. What was I trying to figure out? Meredith. Meredith.

The universe.

Am I going to keep chasing Meredith, or am I going to just let this friendship go? You don't have a friendship with Meredith. You hate Meredith, and Meredith hates you. Okay? Yes. But you should stop chasing her because it's annoying. You're like a little dog running after a school bus every day. Eventually, the dog is going to get hit. Eventually, the dog is going to catch a school bus. Then the dog is going to be dragged down the road, and everybody's going to be like, That damn dog was chasing the wrong bus.

A wise woman once said, Don't go chasing waterfalls. Stick to the bottles of orange dye that you're used to. I think you have to follow that.

Stick to the team you're used to.

Okay. Stick to the Alibaba orders that you're used to, please.

Okay? You're going after Niagara Falls right now, and you're in a little barrel.

And guess what? You're on the top part of the falls. So then now they all head out and Lisa is like, Have you guys ever read the secret language of trees? Oh, my gosh. It's the most beautiful thing. Guys, I love to read and I love to have people barefoot on the And like when we build on a house, we have an area just for grounding so we can be in the ground. And then I take all my Wendy's rappers and I bury them in the ground. I'm like, Here are trees. Here's food for you, trees. And they tell me, Thank you so much. I love trees.

So Yeah. I'm obsessed with trees. We have beautiful trees in front of our house. I literally talk to the trees. I'm like, It's okay if you tap me on the shoulder. It's okay. Yes, this is Chanel. It is. I knew Chanel. I know Chanel. Yeah.

You put Chanel belts on all the trees because whenever I walk home, all the trees are like, You look amazing. Where do I get that outfit? I'll be like, Here, you could be just like me. Then they have Chanel belts on. It's amazing.

It is. I love trees. I love aspens. Aspens are my favorite tree. It's like, what trees are talking to Lisa Barlow, amongst themselves or to her? Sorry, that was a Heather line. But trees are magic. I love them. They have personalities. My goal weight is a tree. (much) Yeah.

They also, by the way, we have beautiful trees in the front house. We don't have any of those ugly trees, any of those stupid ugly trees. Eew, go away. What do you do? Hang out with Angie Harrington? Gross. I will literally talk to the trees. I'll be like, How are you? Can I touch? Can I touch? And I'll tell them it's okay to tap me on the shoulder. Okay, here's the secret, guys. My team of seven lawyers, they're just trees, but they're so good at what they do.

(much) Lisa, if the trees wanted to talk to each other, they wouldn't be able to get a word in if you were in the forest with them. Like, Oh, my gosh, you guys talk to each other? I love that. What are we talking about? Are you an Aspen? I love Aspen. That's my favorite tree. It's like, What trees are talking to Lisa Barlow?

We need to have a referendum on the Heather gayism. It's just It's too much.

It's too much. They're going to close Branson, Missouri because of Heather. It's like, Okay, you know what? It's over. It's all over. Everybody go home.

I feel like she's going to start opening. She's going to start opening for Joe Gorgia in Atlantic City soon. Okay, She's amazing. What about trees?

Am I right?

It's just, you know what it is? It just speaks as someone who's too self-aware of the show and is too concerned with the production of it all. She's always made jokes. It's like you mentioned, she's always made jokes in the confessional. It's been fine. But now she's starting to believe like, Guys, I'm here to save the episode. Here comes my funny moment. It's too much. Okay. Lisa is like, Brittany, I wanted to ask you, would you throw up every day when we were in Kanawan? Were you throwing up? Brittany's like, Well, didn't we all get sick when the boat went like this? Yeah, but yours wasn't from alcohol. Which, by the way, you know what this is all This is a giant revenge from last year when Brittany said she heard Meredith throwing up. And now, Meredith and Lisa are like, We got her. We got her. We found out she threw us.

It's just, it's so stupid. Lisa, it's not subtle at all. You know, there's zero subtlety. By the way, okay, I just finished my tree segment. Okay, yeah. I wanted to ask you, do you throw up every day in Kanawan? Like, what is that? What did that come from? Are you a throw-uper?

And he's like, Well, no. I mean, I guess I'm getting motion sickness. Oh, yeah? So it wasn't from the alcohol. It wasn't from drinking in your room, going in the bathroom and tipping the bottle. Was it more than what I saw? Do you have a crazy problem? Do you like Nicolas Cage? Do you want to go to Vegas and then leave there? What's going on?

That girl from the Babysitter's Club will take care of you. Don't worry about it. Just don't prioritize men over her, okay?

She has a huge shoe collection. That's for her. It's in her name.

What is Lisa even talking about? I mean, if Lisa had a problem with this, then wouldn't she have brought this up on the yacht? I mean, I they did because they were giving you shit when you were barfing and still taking shots. This is weird that they're acting like no one ever talked to Brittany about it, but it's also weird that they brought it up. I mean, Brittany being an alcoholic on a boat doesn't make Meredith less of an alcoholic. In fight. It just seems like an odd…

They're probably winding up, in addition to having revenge from last year, they're also probably winding up to a moment of, See, it's not nice when people make allegations about you based off of scant evidence or hearsay, right? So we shouldn't do this. It's definitely like a, Aha. See? See what it's like to walk a mile in my very high, tall heels? So Brittany is like, Well, you're trying to serve something up, Lisa Barlow? No, Brittany, you're like a little lush. I heard that you were drinking and throwing up and drinking and then throwing up. And then you took a glass of wine and you put the wine in the glass and you drank it. And then afterwards, you're like, Uh-oh, throw up-time. Alcoholic. Hey, guess what? Do you want to go to the bathroom at this restaurant? It's downstairs. You'll have to take twelve steps.

Heather's like, Sounds like a girls trip to me. Yeah, Heather. Lisa's like, So, yeah, are you an alcoholic? Because, yeah, I heard you were drunk the whole entire boat ride. Like, you would throw up and then start drinking again. Who did you hear that from? A tree. A tree told me. I love trees.

The trees have eyes. Yeah. Then, let me see a flashback. To… The Meredith said it in the bath. Basically, Meredith was like, Well, Lisa, what I heard was that Brittany was throwing up on the yacht, which is also throwing up on the yacht. It's pretty standard. Andy actually spent a whole day doing that. Brittany is like, Oh, gosh, who said it? I don't know who said it. Someone said it. I don't know. Maybe it was like, Havestus, Greek Goddess of Havistas. Brittany's like, Well, everyone saw me do this. No one had a problem with it then other than Meredith, so who's talking about me now? Who's making this a thing? I want to know. And honestly, thank you so much. It's such an honor to be the focus of an argument again.

And then they just keep cutting to Bronwyn, making this face like, Oh, God, not me. No, no, no, no, no, Mm-hmm.

You know I literally hurt my neck just now doing the Bronwyn nod. Now my neck hurts. Now I'm going to have to get a massage or go to a chiropractor. I literally hurt my neck doing the Bronwyn.

So they go to dinner and Mary's like, Oh, my God! Why are there more stairs? Where are there stairs? Literally everywhere here, which is how I felt about a lot of Europe. Italy, especially. I was like, Is this whole country calling me a flat-ass? Jesus, I get it. You want me to climb some stairs. They go to dinner, and Heather is like, Wow. They're looking at the menu, and Heather and Lisa goes, Oh, my God! They have burrata. I love burrata. Heather goes, But it's Buffalo. What is Buffalo burrata? She's like, Oh, my God! I don't know. Is it from a Buffalo? She goes, Oh, my God, no, I'm not going to eat that. What is it from a Buffalo? How can you love burrata and you've never heard of Buffalo?

How do you not heard of Buffalo mozzarella? Now, admittedly, it took me a very long time in my life to finally look it up to be… Because I just accepted it was called Buffalo mozzarella, but I never questioned why it was called that. Then one day I was like, Why is it called that? Is it not really from a Buffalo, is it? It's like, What? It's from a water Buffalo, right? I don't know. You know what? I don't even know. I don't care. The point is, they all have phones. They could look it up, and I don't know why they're not looking it up.

So, Bronwyn is having an emotional moment. Bronwyn gets a call. She knows it's Todd because the Ringer is… Hello, Todd. Todd, what's up? Is everything okay? Is everything okay, Todd? Todd, what's happening? We find out that it's her mom's last weekend in the house because they've sold it. So Todd flew out last minute to swoop in and help get it done. He's keeping me up to date, and I think it's wearing on both of them. I feel incredibly guilty, incredibly guilty that it's not me who's there. I mean, God, finally, I could have been the one to kick my mother out of the house, and I didn't get the chance.

I just feel so terrible that my mom has to understand what it feels like to need your family at a desperate time in your life, and they just abandon you. God, I feel so terrible that that has to happen for her.

I just wanted to be able to put her last box in the U-haul and say, Well, you shouldn't have gotten knocked up then, mother. Okay. Goodbye.

Well, I did send her an N95 mask. That way, when Todd starts to fart, she's protected. But anyway, good luck to you, mom.

Thankfully, he probably won't be farting because he won't be making out with her. It's a big trigger for him.

So, Bronwyn's on the phone, and she's basically wrapping up, and she's talking about this whole thing, and she feels really She's really bad about it. She comes back to the table, and Whitney is like, Is everything okay? How are you an alcoholic now? Was that your dealer? Was that your supplier? She's got a problem.

I see the signs. Was Todd upset because he thought Meredith is having alcohol problems. Alchaholic.

So Bronwyn's like, No, Todd just texted me. He was like, Can you call me? Because he was sick and tired of texting What's happening? Like, Oh, is that what that was? We thought you were at gas. Because it turns out Todd's text town is every time it comes in. Lisa's like, What did he say about it? Well, it's just a lot. It's just a lot. But is your mom doing any better? Well, I think yesterday was really hard. It was Mother's Day, and none of her kids were there. I think it felt intense. I'm just trying to say that what my mom went through is probably a lot worse than what Meredith went through or what Brittany went through. If you guys want to cry about it, maybe you should send some tears to Muzzie because she had the worst situation of all because she also got no calls and was packing up a house that she grew up in. So, thank you.

They all get these shots and are drinking the shots. Are these the ones where they're having to taste them with their tongues? The really strong shots were like…

Yeah.

I think so. Mary couldn't take it. Brittany's like, Wait, Lisa, I still want to know where the whole alcoholic thing came from. Please tell me. I mean, who was talking about me I'm an alcoholic. Well, you know what? I just heard that you threw up more than once. I just heard that. But who, though? Okay, well, I heard it, and I told it to Lisa. There, there, I heard it. But who did you hear it from? And Meredith just shrugs. Just while I heard it through the grapevine, I was eating some cereal, and some raisins started dancing around and told me about it.

The reason on the saxophone is very talented, but they We are missing our brothers because someone sold them off the grapevine, turned us into wine, and put us into Brittany's stomach. Brittany's like, Well, who's the mysterious birdie? My roommate? Mary's like, Why do we have to talk about throw up? I'm not outing anyone who said anything because I have morals on the rest of you in this group. But to America, Bronwyn told me that she was roommates with Brittany and that she spent the entire time drinking to the point of vomiting and then started drinking again.

Then Bronwyn is telling us, She's like, Well, I'm not going to take credit for saying that because that is not what I said. Okay, what actually happened is Meredith came to me and said, Was Brittany throwing up on the boat? Did you see this? I said, Of course I saw we roomed together. We shared a bathroom, and I saw her throwing up. I mean, there was no insinuation that she was drunk or that she was drinking and throwing up. And Meredith said, I've seen her drinking and throwing up, and all I said was, We shared a bathroom, and of course, I saw her throwing up. Okay, so you did. So you did say it. And who cares? She was doing it. So… Right.

Who cares? She's saying that Meredith is such a hypocrite because she's like, She's not speaking to Whitney for weeks for accusing her of being an alcoholic pill popper, and now she thinks it's okay to do that to me? I'm like, No, the point is you're supposed to realize how… You're not supposed to say, Well, she's a hypocrite. You're supposed to say, Oh, I see why this can be hurtful that someone can take circumstantial evidence and turn it against you and make damning accusations. You're supposed to have some self-reflection.

Right. I think the point is that you guys are being hypocrites by acting like this is a big deal that someone is saying you're an alcoholic, right? So Heather is like, Well, does anyone at the table think that she has a drinking problem? Hold on. I just peed myself. I did have one too many. But anyway, does anyone think that Brittany has a drinking problem? Raise your hand. I'm just raising my hand as an example. The waiter is raising his hand. Hi. I might have had sex with him. Maybe. I'm not saying I did.

All I'm saying is it just sounds pretty judgy to say Lush Alky, you know? Okay, but let's not I'm not joking about that because it's a serious accusation. Okay, Whitney. I outed Lush. I outed Alky over there. Elky, Elky, Elky. Because you're pounding drugs and then throwing up and then pounding again. And that's probably not great. I can do it, too. This is really fun. Elky.

Pounding? There was no pounding of drinks. I can't even pound drinks. But Lisa, why are you saying that about Brittany? We can't call Meredith an alcoholic, but we can call you an alcoholic. Why is that fair? But you did holler an alcoholic, and then you just had a whole lunch where you insinuated that she was an alcoholic. So are you not seeing the point here? Now, do I think that Lisa is making this point in a good way? No.

This is not a good landing. She's not She's not sticking the landing, nor is she sticking the takeoff either. This is just a real messy, awkward thing, but it's in the messiness where Lisa... Lisa is the queen of clunkiness, and it's just so great seeing her do her craft.

Yeah. She's just clunking on, and she's like, Nobody called her an alcoholic. And then pops up on screen. Flash back to 16 seconds earlier. Lisa calling Brittany an Elky.

But just because you said Elky doesn't make it cute. Elky, Elky, Elky Bartolkmus. I'm talking to you. I didn't say she was. I didn't point her and say, Alcoholic pill popper. Remember? She's like, Yeah, but you said, Alcoholic Lush. Will I add an Elky Lush in to make it less serious? We have to imagine. It was pretty cool. All the trees are laughing right now.

Yeah, sorry. I was just trying make it more fun. Stop. That's not less serious. When I said that to Meredith, you annulated me, and that was a double standard. Don't do that. That's not cute. I'm standing up for people being called alcoholics.

I love the double standard on alcohol accusations. When I call someone an alcoholic in a pill popper, it's bad. But when you do it, somehow it's okay. So, Bronwyn's like, Okay, well, say sorry. Say sorry to her, and let's move on. Say sorry. No, I'm not sorry. I'm sorry. I don't think you're an alcoholic. Okay, there. So Angie's like, Okay, moving on from booze and Boys, what about you're successful, you're interesting, right? Then Heather's like, Well, your acting history is pretty successful. I mean, you are on the mistletoes, which is pretty cool. You have an IMD because she's talking to Brittany. She's like, You have a very good acting resume. You're not lying about it at all. You've accomplished lots of things. You've probably accomplished more than any of us here.

Wait, wait a minute. Wait a minute. And Bron was like, What? Can I ask you what you just said? You said Brittany's a great actress, and that's nice. I mean, you're standing up for her. And then the last thing you said was, I mean, frankly, Brittany is more accomplished than a lot of people at this table, which I don't know. I don't know if you've heard, but I was a secretary in the financial district at one time. So I would talk about it, but the case is sealed. The case is sealed. But how dare you? How dare you?

How dare you say that she's more I have a brand that is so failed that I've made it a storyline.

That's an accomplishment. I have makeup that I have moisturizer that I can't use because of a brand deal with my husband. And Julia, I bought off Alibaba and never spoke about again. How dare you?

I have Prism. And because of my situation, I've had to revise it. That's why Justin and I are saying that right now, We are focused on prison reform.

Why would you say that one of us is more accomplished than the other? Well, yeah. I mean, well, how many of us have been in five or six holiday movies that nobody ever wants to watch? Lisa's like, I've sold three businesses. I'm not Blake Lively. I'm very smart.

I set up a high top in a bar once. Okay, that's a lot of accomplishment.

I'm just saying she has accolades.

Well, I have design awards and all kinds of other things. I don't know if you've seen, but on my refrigerator, there's an award for best mom that was written on a paper plate by my toddler. I think we know who's the most accomplished here.

Mary goes, One at a time. Okay. So Whitney's like, I don't even know how we're defining success, but it's comical that the thought of Brittany having more than them drives them crazy.

That's fair. That's a fair point. It is hilarious because normally you would say, You know what? Why don't we take a moment to talk about our accomplishments? Because we're all accomplished, and we all come at each other, and why don't we talk about all the wonder... Why don't we praise everyone for their accomplishments instead? It's like, No, no. Okay, Brittany was in... Oh, she was in Little Mermade in Japan once. Well, guess what? I sold jewelry.

It's like, Okay. It's so weird. It's so weird that Bronwyn is the one who gets so upset. It's like, How dare you? How dare you talk about Brittany's accomplishments like that? What are you so upset about?

I made my living room look like Beetlejuice. I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that.

I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that. Last year, I gave a lot of money to a charity on Instagram that said that I never gave them that money. So I don't know what you guys are talking about.

I sourced a mug from Cincinnati for Todd. That's quite the accomplishment.

But I'm not saying anything other than that she's not just some lonely house mouse that doesn't have anything on her resume. Well, I was called them today, so there was that. And then we see a flashback to 6 hours earlier, and Angie going, You are It's like the lights are on, but nobody's home. And Brittany's like, Wait, the lights are on at home. Because you don't even know what it means. That's how much they're not on. The lights are not on. This is not a great home.

I love that because also the way Angie said, because when Brittany was confused by the saying, the way Angie was… Angie was just like, Wow, you're dumber than I thought. Her vibe was like, Wow, you don't even… No, that's how much they're not on. She That's how off they are.

You don't even have solar patio lights that come on by themselves.

You have blackout curtains.

She's like, Wow. You were off the grid. Brittany's like, Wow, you're really going low, Angie. You're really going low. Now you're talking about electricity bills. She goes, You're calling me stupid? And Angie just nods and smiles like, Yes, yes, I am.

This is someone who crashed into a tray this morning. Yes, I am calling you stupid. There's like, Well, everyone here loves to pile on to Brittany, and the truth is she doesn't see her.

Okay, so you're her mouthpiece? So you're her mouthpiece now?

You think I'm her mouthpiece just because I'm a New York Times bestselling author three times in a row? That makes me suddenly a mouthpiece? I'm not trying to be. I just don't want to fight you guys over Brittany.

Well, you do. You seem to go real hard, Mary. Mary is annoyed for no reason again. Heather's like, Well, I just don't like the pylons on from Brittany. I mean, it's the lowest common denominator. She doesn't even know how to turn her lights on in her house. I mean, she's trying to be a good sport, and the bullies are just stealing her lunch money. Brittany's like, Well, thank heaven somebody comes to my rescue.

Well, why don't you come to your own rescue? At some point, you She's got to stand up for herself, says Mary. And, and, and, just like, Wait, Heather, we're asking Lisa to step back and allow Meredith to communicate when find her voice with friends. And there's times, Meredith, where you're really hurt, but you haven't been able to say that this is how you're making me feel. And you've got Lisa trying to tell people how you feel, and it's not the same. Heather, you're trying to tell everyone how Brittany feels, and you need to allow Brittany to find her voice in her own group. What I'm trying to say is, let her respond on her own so we can make fun of her some more because it'll be hilarious.

Let her figure it out with Meredith, and let Meredith figure it out with everyone else without Lisa stepping in, which I think is not a terrible point, but they are always really mean to Brittany. Now, is it funny? Yes. Do I love it? I do. But they are really mean to Brittany, and Lisa coming for Brittany for no reason at this lunch is not cool. I feel like it's important to get that in, but also say thank you because I really love you.

Brittany's like, Yeah, I have a lot of emotions about this.

Yeah. Whitney's like, No, I think there's a big difference between what Heather does for Brittany and the other dog versus what Lisa does for Meredith because I don't like Meredith, and that's different. Lisa's Wait a minute. No, because I haven't even said what the fuck it is yet. Shut the fuck up and let me talk. And then she gets fingers in her face, and Lisa's like, No, you shut the fuck up. Don't you talk to me like that again. Don't talk to me like that again. Or a Mexican elder is going to wrap your neck and it's branches, and it's going to strangle you. I've got friends in high places.

Literally. Redwoods. So then Lisa, they're talking and then Lisa knocks over her wine and spills. I was like, Oh, my God! That was an accident. That was not part of the fight. It's fine. It's out of bounds. Don't worry. Time out. Time out. Let's clean it up. It's fine. I'll buy you a new one. Okay, well, you know what? Hold my hand because it's the only way. Just give me seven seconds, Lisa Barlow.

Seven seconds for this sisterhood.

Seven I'm going to take 10 seconds to tell you about my three books that I've written. No, I just like, I just don't like you guys telling me what to do and what not to do. I don't like it. Okay? If I want to stand up for her, I will stand up for her.

I didn't even say anything yet, and you're assuming what I'm going to fucking say. When he's standing and screaming and having a fit, the waiter comes over and he's like, Ladies, excuse me. Unfortunately, the restaurant will not be closed. And they just ignore him. And he's like, Okay, well, I would like to toast to Greece. So five more minutes. Five more minutes.

Five more Greek minutes. No, restaurant is closed.

No, no. Five more minutes. This is my country, sir. Andy, you're kicking us out. This is my country, sir. Oh, my God. I was so embarrassed. No, please don't. I'll bet she does this at Epcot She's like, This is my country. This is Florida, man. Get the fuck out of here.

A lot of people were angry at Angie K about this because they felt like it was a Karen moment for her. My interpretation of it was her saying, No, I know we all look like loud, annoying, awful Americans, but I'm actually Greek. It's okay. I think she was trying to be like, It's cool. I'm cool. I'm one of you. That was my interpretation of it. Maybe I'm just an Angie K apologist, and I'm okay with that, too. But I just chuckled. I was not.

I just put in my hands like, Oh, no, Angie, what are you doing? What are you doing? This is not your country. I'm so embarrassed. Even if it is your country, who says that? If you're in Chili's getting a fight with someone and they're like, You cannot fight in this bar. Excuse me. This is my country. Okay.

It's less appealing when you put that accent on it. The waiter is like, No, I'm sorry, but this restaurant is closed, my lady. You know there's no one else getting up from any other tables in this restaurant. I have to say, they all start to laugh because they realize, oh, whoops, we took our community theater scene a little bit too far.

It's like, second place we're getting asked to leave today. So I ended like, This is embarrassing. First, we get kicked out of the spa, and now we get kicked out of a restaurant. I mean, Greek's party until the sun comes up, and now we're getting kicked out of a restaurant. That is bad. That is bad. It's bad. And he goes, Please don't forget your stuff because I don't want you to come back to find it.

We're walking those places that we ever agreed to have this show here. Please, leave. Please. I've never been kicked out of a Greek restaurant in my life. That was so embarrassing. He's like, Oh, go. They all leave, and then you see the waiter cleaning up, and he tells the bartender in Greek, Thank God that they left. Classic.

Classic ridiculousness.

This would be the time when I'd normally say, Well, and then after that, they said it's the season finale, which means we only have one episode left, which makes me so sad. But guess what? It already aird. Our recap of the season finale will be showing up in your feeds very shortly. But first we have to record it, and that's what we're going to do right now. So thanks everyone for being here for this catch-up episode. We appreciate you. We love you. Get your tickets on Friday for the crappies. And guess what? We'll be giving you another reminder on the next episode. I guarantee it.

And everyone until February 27th. We sure love you guys. We'll talk to you next time. Bye. Opa.

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