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Transcript of Sexiest Man Available: Wednesday, November 13th, 2024

The Toast
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Transcription of Sexiest Man Available: Wednesday, November 13th, 2024 from The Toast Podcast
00:00:00

Good morning, millennials.

00:00:03

Welcome back to The Toast, and happy Wednesday, a Hump Day, which makes sense because Jackie and I are dressed like a bunch of camels today.

00:00:09

We've got two humps on this Hump Day.Turdy and I are twinning.Ludely lady, lumps. Actually, you and I are the two humps because we're both twinning in camo.

00:00:18

It's a big day, you guys. It's merch launch day. Our fall merch shop that we have been teasing all week finally launches today, 10:00 AM, so it's already out. The website, of course, is ermez. Com. It's shoptoastmerch. Com. Our big collection. This is our final collection, big collection for the end of the year. Usually, we do December one, but we decided to do this one more autumnal collegiate vibes. If you're wanting to get someone something for the holidays, we have hats, we have bags, we have sweatshirts, we have sweat pants, we have T-shirts, we have cardigans for the very first time.

00:00:50

I feel like such a broken record because about everything I'm saying, this is my favorite thing we've ever launched. But then I'm saying that about everything, but I mean it truly. The cardigan, the T, the camel logo, the girly swirly University, where I got a five-star education. And then gargi pargi, I can finally wear that across my chest. It's a beautiful thing.

00:01:09

And a couple of housekeeping things, shall we? We got a lot of questions about sizing. We're going to clean house. Jackie and I both wear mediums. If I was just getting the crew neck, I would probably get a large so I could do oversize with leggings. But when I wear it as a set, I like it to be more fitted. So if you're getting the whole set, I would go your regular size. Everything really runs true to size. The t-shirt, the girly t-shirt in white is meant to be fitted. So if you're looking for a looser fit, I would size up again. But everything really runs true to size. That's first.

00:01:32

I just noticed I left the refrigerator open.

00:01:34

Am I okay?

00:01:35

You left your refrigerator running. You better go catch it.

00:01:37

Can we close the refrigerator?

00:01:40

If you like an oversize tee, like what we've done in the past, there is a girly tea in the shade mushroom. No, it's toasty. Sorry, Toasty. In the shade mushroom that is oversize, and the quality of it is a little bit thicker than what we launched in the spring because it is fall now, so it's a little bit thicker stock.

00:01:59

Also wanted I want to note that because we really try not to do... Most of our drops, we do pre-order, so everybody can order exactly what they want. Nothing sells out. That does mean that the lead time for shipping is a little bit longer. So it says 4-5 weeks right now, but you'll be able to get everything you want. You won't have to be crying because you're getting a size you didn't want or an item that you wanted sold out. So just keep in mind 4-5 weeks, and you can get whatever you want. So that's great. Nothing's going to sell out. We're going to close the shop in a few days, but you have time.

00:02:27

Yeah. So head to shoptoastmerch. Com. Merch week is the best week because we finally get to wear all the stuff we've been working on. I don't have to think about what I'm wearing. That's it. And we look amazing.

00:02:38

That's it. Not having to think about outfits. I guess that's what it's like being a kid when your parents would lay your clothes out for you. I just don't even know if I realize what a burden it is on me, especially because we are on camera and everybody's like, it does hurt when everybody's like, Jackie looks great today. And I'm just like, okay, now I'm a big piece of duty.

00:02:56

No, it really hurts when they're slob.

00:03:00

I know what you're saying.

00:03:04

I mean, yeah. But it's tough. Then the day, some days I'm stepping my pussy up, I'm dressing up, and then I feel so stupid. I find that I look better on days where I'm just cozy.

00:03:14

Anytime I get dressed up, I feel incredibly stupid. On Friday's episode, I actually didn't even get to talk about this, I had to run out of the toast because I got an opportunity. There was a meeting being held with the President of Israel. I got to meet the President of Israel. I actually have a picture I need to post. I got dressed up. I was wearing a really nice stawed, like sweater dress, boots with the fur, like heels. I felt so stupid. We're sitting here talking about like, Breonna chicken, Brian, Zack, Brian, and I'm literally going to a business meeting.

00:03:39

No, there have been sometimes where I do something in the morning that requires me to wear a dress or look nice. And it's like, Well, why not go to work looking so nice Because why take it down a notch? I just look so stupid in my chair with my headphones in my dress that I never want to do it.

00:03:53

I often feel like the more put together and fancy I look, the worst my performance is on the toast. Oh, yeah, you do feel My level of comfort is parallel with my level of funny. It's just...

00:04:04

All's to say, that's probably why this week has been amazing toast-wise, amazing looks-wise. Plus, we get to twin, which I love to twin with my twin. Yeah, me too. My twin flame turdy.

00:04:14

You're so positive today. I want to be on your level. I snap my neck in my sleep, which is... It's been happening to me a lot in my older age. It always happens in my sleep. So it's like, I go to bed happy and I wake up, what happened? And the way I want to seriously snap my own neck and just kill someone. I can't even talk, and I'm so animated when I talk. I can't do my thing.

00:04:40

You can't yap, as the kids say?

00:04:41

I can't yap, as the kids say.

00:04:44

I'm really sorry. I've been there so many times. It's the worst thing. I do believe that our beds are too soft. My bed is perfect. Human beings are meant to sleep on the floor.

00:04:53

I know. Ben was like, Well, tonight you'll have to sleep with no pillows. I'm like, Why? It's not going to help it get better. There is a certain amount I have to suffer before. It's just nothing I do is going to move it along. It's just probably two, three days that I have to suffer, and then I will be better. I could spend those two, three days icy hot, sleeping on the floor. Or I could just live my life, and it'll be the same amount of time before I feel better.

00:05:14

We're not meant to sleep on the floor. There's grass.

00:05:16

No, Jackie, they say, When you really throw out your back, you're supposed to sleep on your dining room table. Flat, hard.

00:05:22

But this is something that we've known for a while. It happens to me every few weeks because my bed is just too soft, and One day I will deal with that.

00:05:31

I have so many other things I need to deal with. I love my bed. It's not a priority. Oh, yeah. And I love my bed.

00:05:38

Yeah.

00:05:39

Last night, I told you I'm very much in my cable era, and I decided to do something a little crazy.

00:05:44

I know what you did because you actually FaceTimed with me last night, even though you haven't been FaceTiming with me.

00:05:51

Yeah. Jack and I are working through a little family issue. Meanwhile, I had to talk to your husband. I had such a terrible dream about him. I need to make sure he's okay. I feel like my dreams are actually really connected with what's going on in the world. I feel like maybe Zack needs to talk to me about something.

00:06:03

The issue that Claudia and I are having is a scheduling issue because she's been watching a lot of TV with her husband, which is beautiful for your relationship. You watch Harry Potter, you watch Gilmore Girls. It brings you together. But when he's watching with you, he doesn't let us FaceTime, and literally, he has a Timer on. The other night, I begged to get five questions in. And he said yes, and then I didn't even get to ask five questions.

00:06:22

I've definitely felt like Jackie and I aren't communicating as well as we once did. And last night, Ben was out to dinner. Jackie and I were on FaceTime for two hours.

00:06:30

All night doing nothing. He thinks it's a need to have conversation. No, I just want to be on the phone with my sister.

00:06:36

And so we've come to the conclusion that my husband is driving a wedge between us, trying to...

00:06:41

Just watch Harry Potter.

00:06:43

No, trying to definitely separate us.

00:06:45

The thing is, I don't think the intent is bad. I don't think he's trying to separate us. I think he just wants to watch his show, but he doesn't understand how important... You know what he said? He said, Screw sisterhood.

00:06:56

Well, it's so important to note that if Ben and I were watching something and he took a phone call from anyone. It's different. It's not sisterhood. Are you fucking kidding? No, let's say it was his sister. Let's say Maddie calls.

00:07:07

It's not sisterhood.

00:07:09

That's his sister.

00:07:10

It's brothers and sisters.

00:07:11

Okay, true. Different. I would say, get the fuck out. I would seriously be like- It's siblinghood. Are you crazy?

00:07:17

It's sibling revelry, if you will.

00:07:19

It's sibling revelry, if you will. I understand the concept of interrupting. It's annoying, but this is my life partner, my business partner. Scratch Scram.

00:07:31

Seriously, Scram.

00:07:32

If you guys have been feeling a tension on the toast, that Jackie and I aren't as close as we used to be, that's why.

00:07:39

Or maybe it's actually the opposite where we do all this nonsensical catching up on the toast because we don't get to do it at other points of the day.

00:07:46

I actually agree. But wait, so you were on FaceTime with me when I decided to make this decision last night because I've been watching Jeopardy every night. It's becoming my new favorite thing. I feel so smart whenever I get an answer. It's one of the highlights of my day. Then I just leave the TV on and Wheel of Fortune. I watch passively. It's really so dumb. I can't. I just want to say I'm not into Ryan Seacrest and Vanna White. It's the old and the new. We either needed to get both of them out or both of them in. It's wrong. But then Dancing with the Stars was on at eight o'clock, and I was like, All right, you know what? I'll watch it. I'm always talking about it, like, peripherally on the toast. Maybe I could know what I'm talking about. Now, I'm not going to be able to know what I'm talking about because I found the show so impossible to watch that I was on my phone the entire time. But I did- Miss me. I did catch glimpses of things here and there.

00:08:30

Yeah, she was talking to me.

00:08:33

Yeah. I just have a major critique of the show that I have to share because we're at the place where there's fewer people left and everybody's scores are getting better. I think there's a point in the show when everybody's getting 8s, 9s, and 10s. I'm going to single out Danny Amandola, but it was happening to everyone. This is not a statement on Danny Amandola's dancing career.

00:08:52

He got a 10. We'll just make an example out of him because he can take it. Yes.

00:08:55

It's emblematic of the entire issue. I'm new to dancing with the stars. I really never watch. I'm sure you guys know this, but I didn't. But I didn't know we were giving out 10s to amateurs. That was not a 10. A perfect 10 means there's no... I'm like, he was so stiff. I'm like, Yeah, he didn't forget any moves. He did everything right. I was like, Are you kidding? A 10? How low is the bar? I was so shocked, and I was like, This show is not serious. Is that a serious show?

00:09:19

I understand.

00:09:20

To be honest, and I have said this before, first of all, if anybody wants to know who I think should win, it's Dwight Howard, but that's neither here nor there. It's so easy for the men. By the way, there's mostly men left. I think it's two women, Chandler and Alona.

00:09:35

Pommelhore Steve. Chandler.

00:09:36

I actually don't know her. She's this very beautiful girl. I've never seen her before in my life. Disney? She's a Disney. But then there's Pommelhore Steve, Joey the Bachelor. Rome has an ancient vibe to it. Greece. Old school vibe. Greece. Dwight Howard, Danny Amandola. So it's mostly men. It's so much easier for the men to get a perfect 10. All they have to do is properly lift the girls who are three pounds, and they're professional athletes. Dwight Howard can lift this girly, no problem. It's actually biased. It's not an equal playing field.

00:10:10

You don't think it's harder for men to dance in general?

00:10:13

Well, it depends on the man. Sometimes a man comes on and you could tell they seriously have no rhythm. Honestly, if Dave Portnoy ever went on Tante with the Start, he would be out first. They released a bunch of bloopers from him recording his diss track, and it was exactly as I thought. The man has no rhythm. The person who wrote the song had to He literally repeat every line to Dave, and he had to copy it exactly. He could not stay on beat. If you have rhythm, like I do, you have to watch. It's infuriating, Jackie. He can't... See B. Go.

00:10:41

That is so funny.

00:10:43

It was a very funny clip. But some people have rhythm, and some people don't. I think that you could tell the gymnastics guy, you have to have rhythm to do those routines. White Howard totally can kill it at a bot mix of a dance floor. He has rhythm. If you have the basics, yes. But some people, I think that's gender regardless. If you don't have I'm like, You really can't dance.

00:11:02

I agree with that.

00:11:05

Everyone's been wanting me to watch Shanty with the Stars, and you know what? You got what you asked for. I really didn't like it. Oh, my God. I don't know how you guys put up with, I forgot this thing about cable. It reminded me of The Bachelor, how they play with you. Two hours.

00:11:17

That's so crazy.

00:11:19

Two hours, so many commercials. Then they did a pop-up challenge where everybody did their performances, and I was like, We've literally been here. There's a whole hour left. What are we going to do? Surprise. Here's your category. Go plan a dance. It means they all had five minutes to put together a dance and choreography and come back. It was so color war. It was so stupid.

00:11:37

Yeah, I was going to say it's like camp and not in a good way. I don't want to watch someone's camp on TV.

00:11:43

I fear I cabled a little too close to the sun, honestly.

00:11:46

I'm sorry for you. I continued not finished reading my Frida-Rita.

00:11:51

Frida-rita.

00:11:52

The fact that it's taking me this many days tells you everything you need to know because a Frida is a 24-hour read.

00:11:57

I think there's something happening with Frida. I experienced something the where I was like... It was the only books I wanted to read. They were so quick and easy. They were adding to my count. Then you get one that's just seriously bad, and you're like, I've read it too close to the sun. I forget what it was called, but it was about this coworker who goes missing.

00:12:15

Interesting. I'll finish the book. It's fine, but I'm looking forward to moving on, maybe reading what you suggested.

00:12:23

The Many Lives of Mama Love, Oprah's Book Club. Now, if you're going to read it, here's something I only figured out after that I feel is It's really important to the story. It's called The Many Lives of Mama Love, and the author is Lara Love. It's her story. I didn't realize it was a memoir. It's a biography. It's a memoir. Memoirs of a Mama? It read a fiction book. Okay, I like that. Yeah. And Oprah's actually in the book. It's cool. Okay. I'm open.

00:12:47

Yeah, I think you like it. I'm open.

00:12:49

Now I'm on my prison reform shit. It's one of those books that opens your eyes to the system. Kind of how Demon Copperhead. After I read that book, I'm like, Child and Family Services is disgusting. This This entire system for kids who are growing up in poverty. It's disgraceful. It's literally- Big pharma. Of course. It's built to destroy the lives of these children. Honestly, they have not helped one person in their life. That was my takeaway from Demon Copperhead. You will have that same takeaway from the prison system from this book.

00:13:16

Oh, I could see that being a rabbit hole.

00:13:18

She's one of the few who actually got out by her own sheer will and determination.

00:13:23

Like demon.

00:13:24

Like Demon, yeah. That's just what we do here at The Toast. We talk about the government agencies.

00:13:29

We go down a myriad of rabbit holes. The government agencies are very much in the news.

00:13:34

They are. Wait, also, I was going to say run of show, we have Deer Toaster today, but that reminded me that yesterday, Jackie and I feel really bad that last week or whenever it was the week before, we forgot Deer Toaster. We know that the community was outraged with us. We received death threats, backlash. We heard your cries, and we won't do it again, we promise. But to make up for it, we recorded an entire 45 minute podcast and video episode exclusively going through Deer Toaster's submissions. It's on our Patreon.

00:13:59

We do it every few months on Patreon anyway. It's just if everyone loves a little DT.

00:14:04

We wanted to give back to the community.

00:14:06

And we did. And it's up on our Patreon right now. Yeah.

00:14:09

And we'll still do. Don't worry. This week's segment. Don't worry. Don't worry. Three submissions.

00:14:12

Even though we actually have really good stories today. Sma. The big celeb news of the day, finally.

00:14:19

Sma.

00:14:20

So I actually feel like, and you know I'm the last one to say it, I actually feel like we should make hast and get into the Fast Five stories that you need to know.

00:14:28

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00:15:20

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00:16:14

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00:18:06

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00:19:09

Thank you, Dr..

00:19:10

You're welcome.

00:19:11

Our first story, the big celeb news of the day, finally, People's Sexiest Man Alive has been announced, and it is John Krasinski.

00:19:23

Now, I heard two things about this that I feel like ruined my take on it. I I want to get your take, and then I'll read the two things that Dumont posted that really shook me up.

00:19:34

Okay, I think this is a great choice. I think that it covers People magazine's demographic while also being objectively a good call, pretty relevant, and I think everybody really likes this guy. That's coming from someone who actually hasn't fallen into John Krisinski lore. I don't watch The Office. I don't watch Jack Ryan. I don't watch A Simple Place. Zack Ryan. Objectively, he's a good-looking man.

00:19:58

A Simple Place? A Quiet Place.

00:20:04

And Cody Simpson is getting a CMA award.

00:20:07

Correct.

00:20:07

Objectively, he's nice-looking. I know people really love him. Even though I'm not even a part of it, I think this is such a great choice. I can only imagine how people who love him feel about this.

00:20:17

Okay, that's a good take.

00:20:19

Now, Dumont- What was your initial take?

00:20:21

I literally saw the announcement- You didn't get to have one.via this Dumont thing on Twitter. It was the first thing I saw when I woke up, and there was two blinds that she had read.

00:20:29

I'm shocked at what you could say that could ruin people's SMI.

00:20:32

Well, the first was that, FYI, Glenn Powell was aggressively courted for sexiest man alive, and he turned People magazine down. He joins the ranks of Ryan Gosling, Jason Momoa, and Keanu Reeves in terms of stars who have been begged to be sexiest man alive, but who have absolutely refused.

00:20:44

Okay.

00:20:45

Then this is the blind that really made me question everything, okay? This Aalice actor who is starting to fall from stardom was willing to pay millions of dollars to be, chosen as 2024 sexiest man alive. He knows that people He's still losing interest in him, and he thinks that spending the money on the title is a good investment in gaining back momentum for his career.

00:21:05

I do not believe that. Because if that's true, that's just the nuttiest thing I ever heard that really-I didn't know you could pay. I don't believe it, I just want to say. John Krasinski is not my fave, but I'm going to trust your guys' fave because he literally says in the article, he immediately blacked out when he was told he's going to be people sexy as a man alive.

00:21:30

Jackie, keep in mind, these are actors. They are diluted.

00:21:32

I know, but I don't... I mean, I know people boldface lie to your face, but until I can confirm that they've done it once, I do give people the benefit of the doubt, and I've not seen John Krasinski to be a liar. I also don't agree with that blurb that he's waning from public interest. I think he's doing just fine.

00:21:50

I think he's at a level where even if he's not doing public outings and things, he's always eternally famous. He's at that level. Now, let me really I'll just strip back and give you my thoughts. I'm not offended by this choice whatsoever. Again, he's not my favorite. I actually don't particularly think he's good-looking, but I know there are people who die for Jim and Pam and Jack Ryan and all that. Again, I'm happy for them. I think I feel this way often about People magazine. They always just make... It's so obvious. Do something crazy.

00:22:21

I think it should be a little bit obvious, though.

00:22:24

Yeah.

00:22:25

For what this is.

00:22:27

I don't know. Well, they do... You know what? Never mind. I'm not going to say that.

00:22:30

Who would have been a crazy... I don't know. I even think Jeremy Allen White would have been a crazy choice because he is still niche. He's on one show.

00:22:40

He's not niche. He's not niche. We are just used to People magazine choosing men over 40. He would be the youngest person to ever be chosen.

00:22:48

I also think that's a good precedent. I don't know. Maybe we could also have a different publication do-Mack Sam, sexiest. Hottest guy. But I like what People magazine does, and I like that they don't stray too far from it? It's an older, more established man. Everybody really knows them.

00:23:06

It's interesting to me that People magazine is not ordinarily a publication, stars at this level, whatever, sit down for an interview for. Now, a lot of them make an exception for the sexiest man alive thing. It's Glenn Powell. Actually, Glenn Powell, yesterday or maybe this morning, was announced as a cover star of Vanity Fair with Jonathan Bailey, Nicole Kidman, the big movie stars of this season. It It's clear he's really in a different stratosphere, and he's on this path of Hollywood movie star. We haven't had a real male movie star in a while. That's what he wants to be, very Tom Cruise back in the day. So I can actually see him turning this down. And I do feel perhaps there was a time where John Krasinski would have said no to this, but not anymore.

00:23:53

Yeah. I think he's at the right place in his career, as the sexiest man usually is, because it's more of a Sunset Season. Yeah, a sunset season. I understand why Glenn Powell would have said no if that part is true. It's a little too commercial and corny, and I know he wants to be taken seriously. And there is something lovingly corny about Glenn Powell, and I don't think he wants to do more of that.

00:24:16

He's all set. He wants to win an Oscar, and I think that that's the route he's taken. That's not a commercial thing. You don't do big People magazine spreads when you want to win an Oscar. You're very low-key artist. Don't talk to me.

00:24:32

Yeah. Of course, if this is just about sexiness, period, he's not the Adonis, the- No, but he's very good-looking. Scientifically the sexiest man.

00:24:42

He's very good-looking. It's an unoffensive choice. It appeals to a lot of Americans, and it's a good choice.

00:24:49

I think it's a really good choice.

00:24:51

It's a good choice.

00:24:53

Not a really good choice?

00:24:54

Well, the idea of what Dumont said, him begging and paying for this makes me cringe. That's the only thing ruining this for me.

00:25:02

Okay, but do you think there's a possibility that it's not true?

00:25:04

Of course, but I'm only seeing it through the lens.

00:25:07

Dumont said something else this week that broke my heart.

00:25:10

What?

00:25:11

That Ariel Frankl was out on a date with Gobble D.

00:25:14

Goop. With what? Matthew Gray-Goobler. Oh, but you don't know him. He's from Criminal Minds.

00:25:20

He's like everyone- I don't know who that is, Gobble D.

00:25:22

Goop. Okay, so if you don't know who Gobble D. Goop is, then I could see how that would upset you because I know you want her to be with that other Jewish character from The Bachelor. Having said that, people are obsessed with him. He plays... What the hell is his name in Criminal Minds? I love Criminal Minds, and I love him, and I totally get the... There is an obsession with this guy. I don't even know if he's ever publicly dated anyone. And now his first sighting is with Ariel, Jewish Queen from the Bachelor. I'm actually not upset about it at all.

00:25:53

It's Jackie.

00:25:54

It's a huge pull for her, if true.

00:25:57

Okay. Even if it's not true, the The fact that they're associated, it's just really great for her. I want greatness for her, so I will support her. I just am going to be moaning the shiddah that never was.

00:26:09

Yeah. No, I totally get you.

00:26:12

I just want to see if he's Jewish. But I'm glad to know that he's worthy of our swirly. What's his last name? Gobbler?

00:26:18

Matthew gray Gobbler. G-u-b-l-e-r.

00:26:22

It's not Blueberry Gobbler?

00:26:24

I do believe he actually might be Jewish.

00:26:27

Oh, my gosh. Okay, this is great news. Let Let me look at him with a keen eye now. Matthew Gray- Matthew Gray- He's really cute.

00:26:35

He's super cute, really successful. People are obsessed with him.

00:26:38

Oh, he's in your favorite movie, RV.

00:26:41

Wait, what? That's what's coming up. Who is he? Who is he in RV?

00:26:46

I don't know. That's what came up on Google. He does look familiar, but I've not seen anything that he's been in.

00:26:52

He's really from Criminal Minds, and that's it. Okay. Oh, my God. Yeah, he's the one who helps them with the septic. I fucking love RV. Okay, it all comes back to RV.

00:27:03

Yeah, he's really cute. I'm happy for her.

00:27:04

And Jackie, he's Jewish. Does that change things for you?

00:27:08

I accept. It does change things for me. It does.

00:27:12

Yeah.

00:27:13

I just want greatness for her. I'll support her in anything she does.

00:27:16

Let me tell you, I know this is a blind spot in your pop culture knowledge, and I can tell you it's a really good thing for her.

00:27:22

Okay, great.

00:27:23

It would be like... I'm trying to make a comparison that you would know. I don't know, but just have faith in me. This is amazing. Okay. Yay. Yeah. Jeremy, while it was nice, he's not the only Jewish guy out there.

00:27:38

No, I know. But I just love the idea of the bachelor. Of course.

00:27:41

And they had that video together. I thought that was a hard launch.

00:27:45

I thought so, too.

00:27:46

No, she was spotted with the goobs. What did you call him? Gobble-die goop.

00:27:50

Gobble-die goop.

00:27:53

Seriously, top five funny things you've ever said.

00:27:56

Matthew Gray-Goobler. Okay, I'll book it.

00:28:00

Yeah, no, he's one to watch.

00:28:03

She's one to watch. And so by osmosis, he's one to watch.

00:28:06

No, that's a good one. So hopefully, either all of the things that Tumois said are true or none. It's so hard to know. You really have to use your judgment.

00:28:14

Yeah. I think some things are true and some things aren't. I'm going to give John Krasinski the benefit of the doubt here. Maybe he doesn't deserve it, but I'm going to give it to him.

00:28:23

I just want to say, I can see a world in which they would have chosen him like he wasn't begging or paying. It's not so out of the realm of possibility. Not at all. No. And he doesn't seem like the kind to be so obsessed with how relevant he is.

00:28:34

He's made a lot of money. No, they're painting him out to be this huge loser. He has this huge show on Prime. It's being made into a movie. I heard.

00:28:42

He's also part of an A-list Hollywood couple that everyone's obsessed with. There's relevance in that.

00:28:48

I don't think it's true. Okay? Okay. But thank you for bringing it to the discussion table. It's very important.

00:28:55

My pleasure.

00:28:57

Are you ready for our next story?

00:28:59

Yeah.

00:29:00

About one of our favorite couples, Olivia Munn, is sharing a lot about the early days of her relationship with John Mulaney to GQ.

00:29:07

For some people, the early days of her relationship with John Mulaney is the most important thing in their lives because the timeline, there's a lot of- No, and they're going to be seriously sat for this because she's admitting that she barely knew John Mulaney when she got pregnant.

00:29:20

They weren't even dating yet, she says. She said it wasn't anything close to dating when she found out she was expecting their son, Malcolm. I barely knew him. She talked to GQ because he is on the cover of Comedian of the Year for GQ, and she talks about how they got together again in 2021. She said at the time, he was looking for an apartment in New York City after splitting from his ex-wife, and Olivia referred him to a friend, and they began talking again, at some point developing a more intimate relationship.

00:29:48

I just want to say something. I'm sorry, because this is harking back to a conversation we had when we were talking about the Grammys. I think John Mulaney is amazing. You guys know I love him, and I think he's really successful. I don't think he was the Comedian of the Year. These arbitrary titles, and that's what I was saying about like, comedy. The new world of comedy has a lot of catching up to do to the O. G. It's like a very old school type of thing. And so if you're not on the road, the whole podcast and special, I feel like is not... Like, Shane Gillis was the comedian of the Year.

00:30:15

Yeah, well, it's GQ. This is their men of the year issue. And then in the comedian category, it's John Mulaney, but he also got the cover. I think we have to just accept these things because we're getting into the list time.

00:30:25

I know, but I hate when the lists are inaccurate.

00:30:27

It really bothers me. To me, this isn't the worst choice they could have made.

00:30:31

No, but was it the biggest year for John Mulaney? No, I feel like he was literally in hiding. He had a second kid. What did he even do?

00:30:38

Didn't he put out a special this year?

00:30:40

I don't think so.

00:30:41

Not like Abilities of Prison.

00:30:42

No, that was Baby Jay. John Mulaney's special.

00:30:46

You saw him at the Lighthouse. That was really big for him.

00:30:48

Yes, and he had said he really hasn't done much this year. Oh, he did that, Netflix is a joke, festival that they televised for Netflix. He had a little late night show where he had people come on. I agree with you. It was called Everybody's in LA. Yeah, okay. I'm sorry. Not to be a stickler for the lists, but it just goes without saying, if we're taking a look at this year at a glance, Comedian of the Year for Men wasn't. Yeah. Sorry. No. Continue.

00:31:20

She said that she was excited when she told him that she was pregnant. However, she added, It wasn't necessarily we're going to be married and lived together or any of that, but it was, I will be involved in some away. She initially assumed they would simply co-parent their child while she lived in LA and he remained in New York. However, the two would talk every once in a while or he would come visit her throughout her pregnancy. At the time, he was fresh off of his rehab stay after relapsing during the pandemic. Before that, he had been sober for 15 years. She said the two seemingly grew closer throughout her pregnancy as the exciting arrival of the little one was the only thing that made him seem light and happy. She said, I remember he was really excited to tell his parents, I was watching someone newly sober at the edge of a cliff, and I didn't know him well enough to help him. In her head, In my head, I'm thinking, I don't really know what's happening with this guy. It feels pretty shaky. But then I would see him at the Troubador and be like, Man, he's on fire.

00:32:06

He's just that phenomenal. By the time she was six months pregnant, she decided to get involved in his recovery and stage a mini intervention. They agreed at the time that she would give him random drug test, which is still something she does to this day. Two months later, they decided to raise their son as a couple. Oh my God, so cute. So cute. Then he announced that they were expecting their first child after their relationship was exposed that spring. It's just so crazy that all of this came out, and they really barely knew what they were even doing.

00:32:31

Well, I think that this actually, it does make sense. I didn't envision it that way. I thought that they decided to have a child together. Then for all the girlies who can't move past Anna-Marie Tendler, they're like, Well, he never had a kid with his wife of 10 years. Actually, this is congherism with the person we knew him to be. Kids was not in the plan. Of course, it happened, and it's a happy accident, and it's beautiful. But it actually, I think, makes Sean Mulaney look very good. It's not like he just didn't want to have kids with Anna-Maurice.

00:33:01

Or that he lied to her.

00:33:03

Right. It really was not in the cards for him, but obviously, accidents happen, and this was a good one. But I actually think this is really a good look for Mr. Mulaney.

00:33:13

And it's a good lesson in trust your faves.

00:33:16

Well, that too. But it's also a rom-com. I'm just picturing it, and it must have been very scary for him to be newly sober and then also find out that you got someone pregnant. Yeah.

00:33:29

And to be fresh out of a long term relationship. I imagine this time was actually very dramatic for him. That's a lot to be going through all at once while also trying to stay sober and in a new relationship, leaving an old relationship, baby on the way.

00:33:45

That's a lot. It is. The more I learn about these two, even the way she's describing, it really sounds like a book.

00:33:52

I also feel like people had painted this picture of her where it's like she knew what she had eyes on him. Harland. Yeah, went right for him. It's like, no, even when she got pregnant, she didn't expect that they would be together.

00:34:04

She definitely got like classic woman, like the Jezebel label.

00:34:08

Like the womanly Wiles.

00:34:10

Right. She actively pursued and got herself pregnant. I think the haters definitely pain. For years, they've said nothing. This is just a random anecdote, but it's really like a window into how they got together. I mean, even if how they got together wasn't as cute as it sounds, I ship these two so I think they have such a beautiful life together, and I think they're perfect for one another.

00:34:34

Yeah, not everything happens the way that you plan it.

00:34:37

Yeah.

00:34:38

Actually, what's that quote? Something I was just reading.

00:34:42

Man plans and God laughs.

00:34:43

Yeah, that too. But it was also I feel like life happens in the...

00:34:47

Yeah, I know the one. While you're making plans or something.

00:34:52

Yeah, no, but it's like, Life is what happens during... It's probably highlighted in my Kindle somewhere. During the things that you didn't expect. It's obviously more succinct than that, but I don't know.

00:35:01

No, it's so true. Look how they ended up, like another baby, they're a family of four. It's so sweet.

00:35:06

Yeah.

00:35:06

They are married, correct?

00:35:09

Yes.

00:35:09

It's so sweet. I truly love these two. Me as well. I like them both so much individually. Individually. And they came to me on their own. I feel like before, while he was married to Anna-Marie, Everybody was obsessed with John Mulaney, he's the best comedian.

00:35:24

Claudia, remember when we were just doing a list of people that we don't care about separately, but together we love? Yeah. Were we talking about them?

00:35:32

No, because I'm saying, actually, now I care about them both so deeply independently of one another. At one point, though, I didn't. I feel like the world tried to get me to care about John Mulaney, and I was like, Get away from me. Then the world turned on him and I said, Oh, you're interesting. Come here. But that's always what happens. I only really start to like people when they have a fall from grace. Because when you're universally beloved, I'm like, Okay, whatever. I don't need to invest in you. Oh, people hate you? You're interesting. What'd you do? Come here.

00:35:59

Yeah, but also it's how you deal with it. That builds your character and toughens you up.

00:36:05

And shows people who you are, really. Yeah.

00:36:07

And shows yourself who you are.

00:36:09

Yeah. Same with Olivia Munt. We said, painted out to be this absolute harlot Whore of Babylon, if you will. No, I did my own independent research. She's a queen. Now everybody loves her because of her Skims campaign and her breast cancer journey. But it's like, I liked her before. Where were you? Yeah, I liked her before.

00:36:29

Where Where were you?

00:36:30

Where were you?

00:36:33

Are you ready for our next story that's interesting to me? It's a little Outer Banks drama.

00:36:39

Oh, my God. Okay, I'm familiar. And the annoying thing about this is that I'm in the middle of the most recent season. I think I have a couple of episodes left, and the drama has spoiled it for me. So I just found out what happened.

00:36:50

Okay. I am all caught up, except I didn't watch this most recent season yet. But I think I could do it without spoiling, except maybe you'll realize that two people get together. But that's not a major spoiler to the actual show.

00:37:03

No, no, no. Someone's leaving the show.

00:37:05

Yes. I won't talk about that. Okay. I won't talk about that. But Outer Banks, the new season just dropped, and two of the stars are feuding so badly that apparently they couldn't even film a hugging scene together. Now, when I read this, I thought it was going to be Chase and Madelyne Klein because they dated so publicly.

00:37:23

But they have maintained that they have a friendship. Kelsey Ballerini follows Madelyne. They're always leaving comments on each other. So I was like, Oh, my God, is that fake? But no, it's not about I love those two. If you have been following the lore of... If you're obsessed with Outer Banks, then you know all this. But most people are not diehard Outer Banks stands.

00:37:38

They just like the show. I watch every season, but I don't follow them on social media.

00:37:43

It's about JJ and Kiara, who actually in the show date, and I think many years ago at the beginning of the show had a brief something. He is now engaged to somebody else, and she is in a relationship as well.

00:37:58

I believe with the woman.

00:38:00

So rumors are continuing to swirl.

00:38:00

Yes. Oh, interesting. Rumors are continuing to swirl that they've had a falling out. A source exclusively tells people that they are not feuding despite ongoing speculation. Okay, sure. A couple of things happen. One, Eagle-Eye fans noticed that in one scene in the new season, the two of them are just sitting next to each other, cuddling at a bonfire. And the way that the scene cuts, you don't see both of their faces at the same time, making it seem like there was a body double for each of them because they couldn't beat holding each other.

00:38:27

Because the man is taller, there's a scene where it's just him, and she's like, hugging him down below. So you see the top of her head, and it's literally not her.

00:38:33

Yeah. No. It's not her. I saw the headlines before I saw the actual clip, and I was like, oh, they didn't want to film a sex scene together. Like, okay. Yeah. Understandable. Could be a lot of reasons for that, especially if they're exes. But No, they couldn't even just wrap their arms around each other.

00:38:48

And so this has been like a fan theory for years, being like, They hate each other, they hate each other. They hate each other.

00:38:53

Because also there was a cast dinner in June 2023, which was attended by the guy who JJ and his girlfriend, and then Kiara and her partner, Mariah, yes, a woman. And in the wake of the dinner, they both reportedly unfollowed Rudy's girlfriend.

00:39:10

Yes. So the rumors are that... And by the way, Rudy is now engaged to this girl. So the rumors are that Rudy's fiancé is really jealous that he used to date- Is Rudy? Is Rudy, yeah. But she is really uncomfortable with the fact that he still actively works with and has romantic scenes with his ex, and she's very threatened. They're really putting the whole thing on Rudy's fiancé, and she forced...

00:39:35

You're going to say next, just don't say.

00:39:37

Okay. She's the reason for all of this, which I feel like is such a convenient theory. I agree. We have no proof. Up until this point, we really had no proof besides Instagram stuff. But now the stunt double being exposed is definitely giving a lot of credence to these rumors that have existed for many years.

00:39:54

That's really crazy to me if that's what it is. That's really immature, especially because of Madelyne and Chase. I also feel like just to the storyline, they could also break up JJ and Kiara. They're not germane to the storyline, them being together, not like Sarah and John Bay.

00:40:15

John Bay. To be honest, I actually would be for that, and it would make sense in the storyline because I felt this way last season, and this season even more so, I cannot watch this show because of JJ. He is the most reckless, out control, worst friend, worst character, worst treasure hunter, the fact that he's alive.

00:40:34

And then this- He's a treasure hunter.

00:40:35

And then this season, something happens that really pisses him off, and it's wrong. He gets wronged by the rich people. And what does he do? He burns down downtown. He starts a riot. He starts looting. He's literally sets fire. And it's all local businesses, by the way. So it's like, you're not hurting any of the rich people. He beats up policemen. He destroys police cars. I'm like, wait, he became an anarchist. And that's what I I was like, Seriously, Ben, I can't watch a show. I can't root for these kids anymore. They're anarchists. At first, it was like, Yeah, fuck the man and the rich people. I was like, Yeah, yeah.

00:41:07

Now they're like, Yeah, your treasure. Yeah.

00:41:09

Now they're defacing public property, beating up policemen, burning down local businesses. I can't.

00:41:14

The show is so crazy, and it gets to a point of ridiculousness. But there is something about it that warms- It's got heart. It's got heart. It sticks with me. Every time there's a new season, I do wind up watching it. It was one of my Sir Claus shows last year that through a really painful week. So for that, I'm riding with OBEx.

00:41:36

You'll have a hard time. Like, your moral compass will come into question this season. Me and Ben were looking at each other. We're like, What the fuck? They took it too far. Jackie, everybody's rioting. There's a police hunt for JJ. I'm like, Okay, we have seriously outer banks too close to the sun. Oh my God. It's really crazy.

00:41:57

Okay. I'm older.

00:41:59

Yeah. Taking a baseball bat to the windows of the pharmacy, the store, local owned businesses. I don't know what he was trying to do. Like, literally taking a bat to the electrical poles. He literally shut off all the power downtown. It was really crazy. I can't explain. They go to this town hall because the rich people are stealing from them and whatever. They lose. It's wrong. The rich people are being wrong. But he starts beating people up, so he gets thrown in a cop car. Well, John B takes a bat to the cop car window. Jj runs, takes the bat, and burns down downtown. These kids are actually now the villains.

00:42:34

Understood. But now knowing that spoiler that we won't say, are you going to keep watching?

00:42:39

Ben was really into it. I don't know. They released it in two parts. The first part, the first four, five, maybe six episodes, I actually really liked. The second part, I was like, These people have lost the plot.

00:42:53

Okay.

00:42:54

I'm going to give it a shot. I'll see where I end up. I don't know what my future holds with this show.

00:42:57

Okay. Well, I just thought this was really It's an odd show that went really viral.

00:43:01

It's first season. I feel like every time that happens, nobody really watches the second or the third season. But no, it's this really strong fan base. It's because these four young kids, or five, six, actually, they're beautiful, and they're always taking really good photos on Instagram. I mean, people are obsessed. They travel to to Outer Banks and watch them film. It's that gossip girl fandam.

00:43:23

Also, Riverdale. I think they said next season of OBS is going to be the last season. It would be total five or six seasons, which is similar to Yeah. Then everyone wants to go do other things.

00:43:32

Right. Well, I think that people on TikTok are comparing it to Rajay Jean Paul.

00:43:39

Okay, but why? He only did one season.

00:43:41

Right. But leaving a show that made you famous for There are opportunities, and people are worried that the person who ends up leaving, I won't say who it is, might have that Rajay Jean effect.

00:43:55

I could see that.

00:43:56

Because what in the world happened to Rajay Jean?

00:43:59

But he couldn't even do season 2. I know.

00:44:01

It's extreme. This person left.

00:44:03

This is season 4.

00:44:05

Yes, out of 5.

00:44:07

It's different. It's more so of a Marissa Cooper.

00:44:10

I'm still waiting for that Ray J'Ajan big project to drop.

00:44:14

What did he It was a secret project.

00:44:16

Yeah, he couldn't film Bridgerton because he had this big opportunity. What was it?

00:44:19

I don't know.

00:44:20

That will go down in history as one of the worst choices ever made.

00:44:24

Yeah, I hope he has new management now.

00:44:27

I don't even know what helped. Oh, you hear Chappal Ron split with her management.

00:44:30

I did because of Chapel Rome, because she was mad that someone wrote about it. Therefore, people were writing that she was mad. I don't know if I would have- Bill Borde posted about it on their Instagram, New article on our website, read about Chapel Rome.

00:44:40

And she commented, You guys suck for this. Like, Girl, calm down. It's literally their job.

00:44:48

Yeah. Chap going to chap. I don't know what else to tell you guys.

00:44:51

But she keeps out-chapping herself.

00:44:54

Yeah.

00:44:55

Because now she's getting to things that are truly indefensible. Like with the paparazzi, nobody's ever going to take the paparazzi side. We're like, Yeah, chap. Go chap. But it's independent journalists.

00:45:04

Leave them alone. They're not really independent journalists, but you can't be mad about everything. This is the industry.

00:45:09

It's the system.

00:45:10

It's the industry. You're in the wrong industry. I'm not saying the industry is right for the way that it operates.

00:45:14

They think she's going to change it from the inside out with her fabissen apunum. You know what, chap?

00:45:20

Go off. Hot queen.

00:45:22

If you can, can. Are you ready for our next story? What number?

00:45:27

Number 4. But we have dear to oursters.

00:45:28

Yeah, I'm ready.

00:45:29

Some crazy news, which is that Travis Kelsey's Kansas City mansion was burglarized of $20,000 in cash during the Saints game, while Patrick Mahomes' house was hit 48 hours prior.

00:45:40

To be clear, this just reminded me, the sexiest man alive this year is Travis Kelsey.

00:45:44

Yeah, but the thing is, he would have never sat for that interview. Of course. It should have been Jason Kelsey.

00:45:50

Love that, too. But if we're talking about accurate lists, sexiest man alive of 2024, it's Travis Kelsey.

00:45:57

I agree with you.

00:45:58

But there's so many politics in the I get that.

00:46:01

Yeah. Burglars reportedly targeted Travis Kelsey and Patrick Mahomes' mansions in Kansas City last month, ahead of their matchup against the New Orleans Saints. According to a police record obtained by Page 6 on Tuesday, the burglary at Mahomes' estate was reported by a bodyguard just after midnight on October 6. It's unknown what, if anything, was stolen from his home. He was notably out celebrating Travis's birthday, the day in the hours leading up to the burglary.

00:46:26

I mean, that's literally the house he lives in with his kids. That's so scary.

00:46:30

Yeah. It's unclear if anyone was home during the break-in. Then less than 48 hours later, Travis's mansion was also broken into around 7:30 PM shortly after kickoff against the Saints. You know what's crazy is that they live in different states.

00:46:44

Wait, what? One of them lives in Missouri.

00:46:46

Patrick lives in Missouri, and Travis lives in Kansas.

00:46:50

They probably live five minutes from each other. That's so crazy. Now, this is probably one of the worst parts of being a public figure, especially an athlete. Your schedule is literally out there for the world to Everybody knows when you're at training camp. It really makes you a target for things like this. I think that there's really only one celebrity who's got security down pat, and it's Ms. Taylorina Swift, and she needs to hook up Trev with her guy. And Patrick.

00:47:16

You don't think that she had?

00:47:18

I don't know. Well, he did just move into that new house, and if she's going to spend time anywhere, it needs to be completely clear. I don't know. This is just the worst feeling. I know nobody feels bad for celebrities because they have all the money in the world and $20,000. It's not about what they stole. Maybe they stole something sentimental, and that's irreplaceable. But I've never, God willing, God willing, Baruch hashem, Baruch hashem, bite my tongue a million times. I've never been burglars. But I know people who have, and it is the most violated Violating. Horrible. It's not about the things that they took ever. It's about the fact that even if you were home, if you weren't home, somebody was in your fucking house. That's a sense of peace you can never get back. I know people who have moved because of it. So I don't think the $20,000 is going to cripple him financially, but the sense of peace, and then also Taylor's not going to feel comfortable. It just really offsets your entire sense of peace.

00:48:12

I hope they catch the people who did it. I feel like there's never enough energy.

00:48:17

Yeah, for like, I know the boys who did it.

00:48:20

I feel like, especially when we report with a lot of the celebrity homes in LA, and we're always reporting those stories, and it's never caught the themes.

00:48:29

I know. I think that's why the Alexis Nier's trial was as big of a deal as it was. It was the first time because it was this organized ring. It was the same couple of people doing everyone's houses that it was such a big deal, and it got such attention, not only because of their reality show, but they made a movie of it. Because who the fuck? Who's doing this? Right. Now, I think there's a difference when somebody steals from you. Alexis Nyers wasn't a dangerous person. But the group of men who burglarized Dorit's house with guns. That's different.

00:49:02

And they never caught those guys.

00:49:03

No. It's actually so crazy.

00:49:08

Are you ready for our fifth and final story?

00:49:12

No. Is it our fifth and final story that's brought to you by State Farm?

00:49:14

It is.

00:49:15

Thank you so much to State Farm for sponsoring today's episode. We know that our listeners can agree, nothing feels better than a personal win. When you get a final piece of furniture delivered to your apartment and your home really feels complete, or you hit a best new record during a turdy run, perhaps you're returning a 5K. Whatever small, big, simple, complicated win that you have, it deserves to be celebrated. Maybe you're a toaster who managed to stop for a much-needed ice coffee, but still made it to work on time, or you didn't make it to work on time, but nobody noticed. That's a huge win as well. Perhaps you found a new pair of jeans that finally fit, or you fit into an old pair from high school. Whatever it is that you define as a win, it calls for celebration. And who's cheering right beside you? State Farm. Because with the State Farm personal price plan, you can create an affordable price just for you when you bundle home and auto. So celebrate by breaking Those are the confetti and those happy dance moves. Talk to a State Farm agent today to learn how you can bundle and save with the personal price plan.

00:50:05

Now, what's also great about State Farm is they are for all tosters, whether you're a slower toaster like Jack's, perhaps you want to talk to a State Farm agent on the phone, maybe they want You want to go to them and talk to them in real life, whatever that's like, you can do that. But if you're a fast-paced, bright-lights, big-city, fast-moving girly, turd over here, you can talk to a State Farm agent on their app or their website. Really, whatever method of communication works for you, they will adapt to. Talk to a State Farm agent today to learn how you can bundle and save with a personal price plan. Like a good neighbor, I can confirm State Farm is there. Prices are based on rating plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer. Availability amount of discounts and savings. Eligibility due, vary by state. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Today's episode... Yeah, no, you're good. Today's episode is also brought to you by Peloton. Peloton has the convenient and varied instruction that you might need to get your Tushy off the couch. Now, what do we know about Peloton?

00:51:01

Everyone's obsessed with the bikes and the instructors and love. They have one in my gym, and I have a subscription, and it's probably one of the best things I've ever done for myself. But even if you don't have the bike, a lot of people don't know that they have tons of classes that you can use at a regular gym, whether that's on a treadmill, floor exercises, you have no equipment. They have a variety of training programs like Pilates, boxing, marathon prep, strength training, boot camps, yoga, meditation. There are so many different ways to challenge yourself. When I was getting into running, I really wanted to do Peloton workouts, but I thought I needed the Peloton thread, the actual treadmill. But you don't. I was just using the one at my gym or out on an actual outdoor run. And their guided walk/runs really helped me get into running. I didn't know how to run. I didn't know that people... I thought everybody was just able to run for 30 minutes at a time. No, you have to really train yourself. And so the walks/runs/hikes on Peloton really saved me. And they also just have amazing music, which is really half the battle with getting through a workout is having good Music.

00:52:00

So challenge yourself or don't. They have classes that challenge you to try new things and push yourself like marathon training. But they also have a variety of classes to help you relax, like walks and meditation. So find your push and find your power with Peloton and head over to onepeloton. Com to check it out. That's oneonepeloton. Com. Today's episode is also brought to you by Primal Kitchen. Let's talk about real food for a minute. We all know that we should be eating more real nutritious food, but really, who has the time to make everything from scratch, including your sauces and your salad dressings? Well, definitely not me. And some of us don't even have the time to read, or really, actually the energy to read every single label at the grocery store just to avoid sketching ingredients in our food. And if we are, it's going to be the big things, not the salad dressings, not the condiments. And that's why we love Primal Kitchen and their condiments. It's a secret weapon for making real food taste amazing. Their original Buffalo sauce is probably one of their best selling products. It's got that Goldilocks level of heat, not too hot, but still super flavorful for wings, dips, roasted veggies, even just a dribble on your scramble eggs.

00:52:58

It's absolutely delicious, and it pairs with Primal Kitchens, no Derry Ranch Dressing, which you can also use as a marinade. You can also use it in recipes for a chicken skillet recipe. Even their ketchup, their unsweetened ketchup. I'm obsessed with ketchup. I actually saw Matthew McConae on podcast talking about how he's obsessed with ketchup. I was like, That's literally me. I'm a ketchup first person. I like the O'G's, and I really was not open to trying Primal Kitchens, especially because it's unsweetened. I was like, You know what? I'm good. I'm really good. But let me tell you, you guys, it tastes The Same. It tastes so good, and it's so much better for you. It's made with real California-grown tomatoes, no corn syrup, cane sugar, or artificial sweeteners. If you're all about real food, but you need a little help making it exciting, you need Primal Kitchen condiments and sauces. They've nailed the perfect combo of high-quality ingredients and delicious flavor, so your meals will taste as real and homemade as it gets. So head to primalkitchen. Com/to toast to save 20% off your next online order with code toast at checkout. That's primal, P-R-I-M-A-L, kitchen.

00:53:55

Com/thetoast. Code toast. They are also available in stores nationwide. So visit primalkitchen. Com/toast to find a location nearest to you. Thank you, Jackie.

00:54:02

What is the big story? I just want to say also kids love ketchup, and you don't want to be giving them all that sugar. I use the Primal Kitchen ketchup for the kids, and they love it, and it's no sugar. Thank you.

00:54:11

So when I'm talking about myself, I'm obviously also talking about kids. You guys know we We're on the same level.

00:54:16

Our fifth and final story is a story that I hate.

00:54:19

Oh, my God. It's a story that she hates?

00:54:21

Lena Dunham will be writing a Sam Bankman-Fried movie for Apple and A24 based on the Michael Lewis book, Going Infinite. So Apple and A24, an early development on a film adaptation of Michael Lewis's book, Going Infinite: The Rise and Fall of a New Tycoon, with Lena Dunham attached to write the script. So this is about Sam Bankman-Fried, the founder of FTX, the cryptocurrency, the youngest billionaire, et cetera, et cetera. Yeah.

00:54:46

I've done an amazing thing for myself, and it's that I really have carved out a media blitz on Lena Dunham. I'm never seeing updates on Lena Dunham. I really- I don't think there are a lot of updates. No, I know that there are. Peripherially, she does work, and she was at Fashion Week. I have completely carved out a world where she doesn't exist. That is on protecting your peace.

00:55:18

Yeah. No, this is doubly bad. Sam Brakeman-Fried, yucky.

00:55:21

Let's not make movies about criminals. It just incentivizes people to do crime.

00:55:27

Yeah. This was a really crazy story, and I also feel It was hard to understand.

00:55:32

So a movie is going to become digestible.

00:55:34

Because of the crypto nature, yeah. But it's going to be insufferable.

00:55:38

Yeah. What's so amazing is living in a free country. I will not be watching this movie, and you can't make me. Yeah. No. You literally can't make me support. I won't.

00:55:47

Who should play Sam Bankman-Fried, and why should it be Ethan Slater?

00:55:51

Oh, that's an amazing call. I was going to say Jesse Eisenberg, but maybe I'm just thinking small, Facebook. Yeah.

00:55:57

He already did his tech movie.

00:56:00

Honestly, though, who's a nerdy, curly-headed fuck? Of course, hair and makeup. It would be nice if we could just visualize. Let me think.

00:56:09

Hold on. I'm sure people will say, like, Jona Hill. But no. But he doesn't have that energy, that vibe anymore.

00:56:16

Sam Bankman was so young. Curly-haired male actors.

00:56:21

We could wear a wig.

00:56:23

But Adrian Grignay. Okay.

00:56:25

It's like if I were an actor, even though this is probably a breakout role, I wouldn't even want That people would think I look like that.

00:56:32

Okay. He's obviously far too old, but at the time, if he was the right age, a Will Farrell. Totally. Do you know what I mean?

00:56:43

Yeah. Honestly, I think Ethan Slater in a Who's Big?

00:56:46

Timothée Chalamet. I'm sorry. Obviously, that's the answer.

00:56:49

Don't do that to Timothée.

00:56:50

But that's the answer.

00:56:52

That is the answer. Okay. Well, those are your fast-food stories.

00:56:57

I have no other thoughts.

00:56:58

No, me neither. Cool. Me neither. Good. For you.

00:57:00

Bye. The day is far from over because it's Dear Toaster's Day. Every Wednesday, Jackie and I do our advice segment. It's called Dear Toaster's, and we are reading real submissions from real listeners, and you can be one of those listeners if you want to. Send us a submission. You can do it one of two ways. You can email Tell us. Of course, simple. Deertoosters@gmail. Com. We'll keep your name totally anonymous. Or you can go over to our website, thetoastpodcast. Com. Scroll down. There's a submission box there. You can write whatever your heart desires. If you've written in and you haven't gotten on air, either your submission is uninteresting or it was far too long. So try and keep it concise. Like, need to know information, okay? All right. First up. Hey, Jackson turd. I got engaged to my P John back in March, and I couldn't be more excited. We started to look at venues in our area, but we haven't found the perfect one yet. I did originally want to get married in spring 2025, but I'm fine with pivoting to the fall because a lot of the good dates in spring are already taken.

00:57:51

Summer's too hot for us. When I mentioned this to my fiancé, he said, It's not a good idea to get married in the fall because of football season. He had the nerve to say that, I can't get mad if people come to our wedding and are on their phones during the wedding, watching the game, or even refuse to come because of football. I plan on having an amazing band, so hopefully everyone's on the dance floor enjoying. He's crazy for suggesting this, right? I really don't want to wait till spring of 2026. Please help.

00:58:11

Do not wait till spring of 2026. The good news is that if this is true, then it's a universal It's a reversal issue. There's a chance that during the reception, people would be on their phones watching football. Those aren't the people who are going to be lighten up the party anyway. It's not worth not getting married. I think people worry about a lot of stuff when they're planning the date for their wedding. But your biggest thing should be, when do you want to be married? You want to start your life to postpone it for a football season. I would still work out. If you want to get married in the spring, you could find a venue. It's November. It's not too late. People cancel.

00:58:40

Yeah. I don't believe in a There are certain things you should avoid. Yes. I went to a wedding on the Super Bowl once, and I can tell you everybody was, and it was in another country, everybody was looking for the WiFi, and everybody was checking their phones, even if you didn't really even care about football. I would avoid football Sunday, for sure.

00:58:59

Super Bowl Sunday. Sunday.

00:59:00

Excuse me. Yeah. Super Bowl Sunday. But football season in general, people miss football games all the time. It's not a big deal.

00:59:04

That's too long of a season to just be not a ripe time for weddings.

00:59:08

Your husband's far too dramatic. I do want to say it does sound like, and maybe I'm just being crazy. It sounds like your husband has a gambling problem, just based on his inability to... Not watch a football game. I know that might be a little bit of a jump. Terry, you're getting ahead of yourself. I just want to say, look into it. Okay. People who can't miss any sporting event, it's usually because they have money on it.

00:59:30

Get married whenever you want. Not what works for other people. You need to start your life. You can't wait for football season. Don't give up on spring 2025, and do not push to spring 2026.

00:59:42

Agreed, 1,000%. Now, our second submission is somebody who went viral. Normally, I would be jealous, but if this happened to me, seriously, just take me out back and shoot me, okay? Okay. Hey, Jackson Turd. I woke up to a not-so-pargy Instagram DM, sending me a TikTok of my husband. He was in New York City sitting at a table at a bar With the caption that read, Ladies, if you are married to this man, he just said, My Halloween costume is a man who hates his wife, and then flashed his wedding ring right at us, and he's trying to flirt with all the girls. My husband makes dumb jokes with his friends all the time. He's also not on any social media, so I sent him this video and we talked it through. I know nothing happened, and nothing's wrong with our marriage, but people I know in real life keep sending me this video, and I don't know how to respond to them or how to make it stop. Help, please. How do I reply to people who I don't even know while talking about this? Now, there's two issues. I know you only see one issue.

01:00:29

You say The videos were fine, but how do I respond to people? And we'll get to that. But I would be absolutely remiss, devastated, and heartbroken if I didn't at least talk about the video. I know you say you talked it through, and I trust you, but I do fear that you are getting really used to behavior that's not normal. A joke like this is abhorrent. It is unacceptable. It's not a joke, actually. There's truth in it. I wouldn't be so to skirt past this issue and onto the next one. I actually think your issue here is the joke, not people texting you about it.

01:01:10

Yes, the issue is what he said, but she has I'm asking for advice, so we can operate. Let's try and operate under the guise that he's a perfect husband, and he made a bad joke.

01:01:20

But I would be remiss if I didn't encourage you to- Of course, evaluate- What would you tell your friend if their husband said this about this? I fear that you're used to being spoken down to, and your husband might be one of those men who makes jokes about their wife, even when she's around. And I hate that. That's one of my biggest pet peeves.

01:01:37

That's a bad joke to make. But then they're also saying he was flirting with the girls. And yet nothing happened because they thought he was an asshole.

01:01:43

Nothing happened because- And he said he was married.

01:01:45

Nothing happened because they didn't want anything to do with him, not because he didn't try.

01:01:49

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. This is a really big deal.

01:01:54

But the thing is, if somehow it's not a big deal, your husband has the world's worst sense of humor and judgment, but is otherwise a really great partner somehow, and you can understand how this moment happened. Who cares what other people think? It's your life. If you know that it was fine for however that could be possible. If you know that that was fine, then you need to not care what other people think. It's like you're clearly happy in your life, and that's not a reflection of your relationship.

01:02:23

People sending this to you who don't really know you, they're not coming from a good place. Obviously, if it's gone viral, if I barely knew you, I would just assume that you saw it. I'm not going to text it to you. They are not coming from a good place, and they don't deserve a response. If anyone who's messaging you is not someone you would normally talk to, I wouldn't even respond because you're actually looking for tactical advice on how to respond to these people. Anyone you don't know, well, do not respond to.

01:02:46

Do not respond. Also, he fucked up and embarrassed himself. They should be reaching out to him. You should just be like, I know, crazy, right? Send it to him. He should be the one feeling awkward. Everybody's sending him this video of his bad moment, not you.

01:02:59

No, It sounds like the feeling of your husband embarrassing you is one that you're familiar with, and that makes me really sad because a husband's job is to protect you and not put you in a terrible spot. The fact that he did it and got caught on such a global scale is unfortunate, but I'm sure you've experienced this on smaller scales all the time. I just want to let you know that's not normal. That's not good husband behavior, and I feel like you're just used to it. Even the way you wrote us, it just concerned me about how you skipped- It's very concerning.

01:03:34

Yeah.

01:03:35

Yeah. In terms of the responding to people, I don't.

01:03:38

But also, I need to make sure that his inbox and his friends and family are sending this to him. You got to reroute Reroute. You got to bring him in. Add him to the group text.

01:03:48

Hey, babe. Reroute the shame.

01:03:50

Christie, start your video. All forward it. Forward your mail.

01:03:55

Yeah. Screenshot and everything. Dump it on him. Yeah, a thousand %. Okay, our third is a crossover between Deer Toaster's and Abyssale Unburden Yourself. Okay? Okay. Hey, Swerlies. I was sharing my screen while presenting to my all-male team, including my seven-year-old business partner.

01:04:11

This is probably the worst way a story could start for me. This is my biggest... I don't know what's coming next, but I'm scared.

01:04:18

Earlier in the day, I was listening to The Toast. Oh, God. For some reason, the Spotify widget popped up on my screen while I was sharing it and showed the Unfortunately Time episode title, Tits Out For The Boys. For the life of me, I could not get the title off my screen, and my seven-year-old business partner proceeded to point out the pop-up. Seven-year-old? Seventy. Okay. Proceded to point out the pop-up asking me, What is that? What does that mean? I chalked it up to a pop-up and tried my best to move on with the presentation. Do I bring it up again and explain myself? Do I just move on? Should I ask someone else on the team what I should do? Help.

01:04:52

Okay, wait. I just want to look at something on Spotify because you and I were talking about this, and we uploaded the episode, Tits Out For The Boys, and Apple podcast, Start Out, The I and the T.

01:05:01

When we wrote it, we wrote T-I-T-S. And Apple took the liberty of putting an asterisk on the I. It must go against their- And the T.

01:05:10

However, Spotify did not.

01:05:12

Okay, because they respect free speech of it.

01:05:14

But now I'm wishing that they did.

01:05:16

Yeah. Because then the old man wouldn't have ever known.

01:05:20

He could have got toots out for the boys. Tops. But it's straight up tits.

01:05:25

Well, I do think that the seven-year-old man didn't know what he was looking at. I don't know that he knew you were actively seeking out a podcast titled Tits Up For The Boys. And honestly, I apologize.

01:05:34

I do. And we should keep that in mind. We should keep that in mind when we were titling episodes going forward. Maybe he wasn't reading the title. Maybe he saw Two Beautiful Women, the cover art, the toast.

01:05:45

He was probably really taken by our beauty that he didn't even read the text.

01:05:50

Maybe he doesn't have the best sight, and he keeps asking, What is this? Because he can't see.

01:05:55

Let me say two things. I think you're in the clear. One, the man didn't know what he was looking at. He has no idea how to process that media. You're fine. Your other younger coworkers might have known that. Now, luckily for you, The Toast is an incredibly popular podcast, and we're not a pornographic podcast. Anybody who saw it was like, Oh, she's listening to the pop culture podcast, and they had a funny title. Thankfully, we're so famous that people know about us, even in a basic sense. Even if they don't listen, they know the basics. They know we're funny girls. So you're good.

01:06:26

If they go and Google it, they'll see that it's just a pop culture It's not like-Thanks to our popularity, you're in the clear. I understand feeling really awkward about this, and you're right to feel that way, but I do think you can un the burden. There's a lot of different ways of plausible sustainability, and if anybody actually saw it and wants to dig into it, it's totally harmless. Seriously, You're fine. Blame Kim Kardashian.

01:06:47

Yeah, right. Maybe if she didn't have her tits out, they wouldn't be the title of our episode. Out for the boys. Right. You're fine.

01:06:53

Yeah, you can un your burden.

01:06:56

I'm sorry for what it's worth. I'm sorry. The part we played.

01:07:00

I just want to say, of all the things that could have come up when you shared your screen, that's really not the worst thing. It's so true. Like your new photos, of course, come to mind.

01:07:07

Of course. No.

01:07:08

Your husband sent you a dick pic comes to mind.

01:07:10

Well, yeah. A lot of people take pictures of their Pooh. That's a thing people do.

01:07:17

Oh, or a really bad pimple.

01:07:19

Yeah, or you have something on your vagina, you need to send the doctor. Hey, I've got this pimple. Is this normal? Let me know.

01:07:27

It could have been a pic that you would send your doctor.

01:07:30

I have a thousand photos of my tonsils. Whenever I get sick, I'm always taking pictures, flash, high resolution, and it looks like a vagina. You're fine.

01:07:39

Yeah. Just think about all the other worst things that it could have been, and then you will feel great.

01:07:46

You guys, thanks so much for writing in. That is our show. Thank you so much for listening to The Toast. Make sure to head over to shoptoastmerch. Com. Get your merchandise. You have a couple of days, so don't worry. And the pieces won't sell out since it's all pre-order. Keep in mind, it's 4-5 weeks for delivery. Thanks so much for listening to The Toast. My Melanight Morning Show, where you love to find stories. You need to know every Monday, Friday, on YouTube. So if you're watching us on YouTube, please feel free to subscribe and give us a video, a thumbs up. We're also available as a podcast anywhere a podcast can be found. So that's Spotify, iTunes, Seachr, Public Video, I already cast box all the places, whether this is a podcast, find us at so just a five-star review about our beautiful setting and wickedly talented we are.

01:08:14

Love you. Bye.

AI Transcription provided by HappyScribe
Episode description

John Krasinski Is PEOPLE's 2024 Sexiest Man Alive (PEOPLE) (19:15)Olivia Munn admits she 'barely knew' John Mulaney when she got pregnant (Page Six) (29:00)Outer Banks' Madison Bailey and Rudy Pankow Feud Rumors Go Viral (PEOPLE) (36:36)Travis Kelce's Kansas City mansion burglarized of $20K in cash during Saints game, Patrick Mahomes' house hit 48 hours prior (Page Six) (45:30)Lena Dunham to Write Sam Bankman-Fried Movie for Apple, A24 Based on Michael Lewis Book (Variety) (54:20)Dear Toasters Advice Segment (57:03)The Toast with Jackie (@JackieOshry) and Claudia Oshry (@girlwithnojob) Lean InThe Camper and The Counselor by Jackie OshryMerchThe Toast PatreonGirl With No Job by Claudia OshrySee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.