Transcript of Christmas With The Hanks: Friday, November 15th, 2024

Good morning, millennials.

Welcome back to The Toast, and happy Friday. Just pat yourselves on the back. Congratulations. Congratulations, class of 2004. We did it.

Congrats, grads. We are graduates of this week, which I think is probably the 44th week of the year.

And doesn't it feel like just yesterday that I sat on this show and was like, It was just Friday, and now it's Monday. That day will be here before we know it. So make sure to just take a moment, acknowledge Acknowledge the space that you're in. It's Friday morning/afternoon. We have so much goodness ahead of us. It will be gone before you know it, and you will be devastated that you didn't take a moment to appreciate and acknowledge the space that you're currently in.

I'm appreciative of the space. You're appreciative? It doesn't feel like a Friday anymore. Do you know what I mean? Maybe because my schedule is off kilter. We had a crazy night last night. She was out at the club, literally left her kids at home. I went hard in the paint last night.

You were literally out of your house at 9:00 PM. That's insane.

You guys, I was partying in Miami last night.

Shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, When my kids were with me, we went to this really cool light festival.

That's what I was talking about at the top.

A lot of people thought there was a secret project reveal, but no, Jackie took her kids to a holiday lights festival.

We went to a holiday lights festival. We were out so late. It was really cool, but really tiring. Went to bed late, just broken today. And now it's a Friday, which is a cause to celebrate, but I have a version of a hangover.

Did you feel like you created a core memory for the kids? A hundred %. Okay, mission accomplished. It was so cool. Nothing worse than doing all this work, packing up the snacks, packing up the car, getting all the kids, and it's not even good.

And that happens.

And that's just part of life. I thought this festival you were going to. While I was excited for you, I was worrisome that it was going to be a Wanka Festival type of fake folding tables put together in the middle of Miami. So I was worried.

So happy that it was not Wanka. It was extremely premium. If you're considering going to Luminosa in Miami, you should do it and definitely bring your kids. This is not the Balloon Museum, because I'll tell you when not to go.

You know where I thought you were going? Because it reminded me when we were kids growing up, something we used to do was there are these neighborhoods in Southern Florida that are known for their Christmas lights. And they put up these really extravagant displays, and people just come and drive through these neighborhoods. I thought that's what you were doing, and I was so jealous.

Well, we can do that all season. Also, something that we used to do as kids, is that like Butterfly World or The Tradewinds? There are these other light installations. These ones you drive through. It's just like drive through lighting experience. That's really fun. We did that last year. We'll do it again. We don't have to get out of the car. This one, I should have worn workout clothes. I was working hard.

I wanted a total opposite It's a tip of evening. I started a book. I made myself mac and cheese. I was eating processed foods because Ben was gone, and I had nobody to make me dinner. So it was fine. I survived. I had Goodle's. They say they have protein.

Don't tell RFI.

They say they have protein and fiber in it. So I'm good.

Do you see those memes? Me going for a late night snack. Then I think about RFK looking at me.

That's funny. And I put it down. I can't relate to that. I feel about processed foods and the big food, industrial complex. Some days I'm such a believer, and I'm like, I have to eat from the ground. Other days I'm like, What? I'm supposed to upend my whole life? I have to eat. It just depends on the day, how truly lazy, I'm feeling.

Yes, I understand that. Also, if you're an ingredient household, I'm sure you've seen the memes, going for a late night snack, but realizing we're just an ingredient household. It's all the things to make a late night snack.

I am definitely an ingredient household. It's not even because... I think a lot of people end up ingredient households because they don't consistently grocery shop. They eat out a lot. For me, it's like, if any food comes into my house, it gets eaten, except for the bottles of ketchup. Anything you could possibly eat has already been eaten by Ben or I.

But you guys don't keep a stocked pantry. That is an ethos. No, we do. I feel like whenever I'm at your house, it's like, need to have food is there.

Well, isn't that What do you mean by that?

You buy the snacks to eat it right then.

Ask me if I have something. I'll tell you if I have it.

Okay. Do you have Tostitos?

Okay, not that specific brand, but I have Big Lays.

No, but chips and salsa.

The thing with chips and salsa is they get eaten. We just had chili. We just had chili. No, I have Tostito salsa, but not the chips. Okay, the chips got eaten.

That's classic because the jar is bigger than the bag.

No, the jar lasts forever. Maybe that's what RFK was talking I've been recently going through jars.

I find myself without my Tostito salsa a lot, and it puts me in a bad spot because I do know at some point I need to reevaluate Tostito salsa because it's not- No, no. Listen, RFK will have to go through me if he wants to come for Tostitos.

The thing is, some items... No, seriously, I'll be so upset. Some items are worth it. That really is the difference. You know that they're not great for you, but you're like, You know what? I'm enjoying it too When it's in everything, not everything is that good. Not everything is worth the chemicals. But I'm sorry. Don't tell me shit about fuck about Tostitos. I'll be so upset. I'll feel sick.

I have nothing to tell you, by the way. I'm just saying I just know there's probably better ingredients, better salsa.

Actually, I don't think that there is.

Maybe it doesn't taste as good. But that's what RFK is supposed to do. He's supposed to take the bad ingredients out of the Tostito so we can enjoy our Tostedios guilt-free.

It won't even be good. Sorry, we need to have a conversation about all the bad things in food. That's what makes it taste good. Sorry.

That you want to keep around.

I don't think I want to keep around. I just think we have to be prudent.

I don't know, but look at you in Goodle's.

Look at you in Okay, so yeah, guys, I tried Goodle's, and I had it again for dinner last night, even though I was making it, and I'm eating it, and I'm like, It's good, but it tastes a little dusty. I don't know. It's just something. And then this morning- Did you not mix the dust in properly? No, I was mixing so hard, and it wasn't liquefying. I put in a little splash of water. I was like, Come on, let's go. I ate it, and it was fine, but it was chalky. And then this morning, I was watching this girl on TikTok, and she was making mac and cheese for her kids. She was trying a new brand, and she put in milk, and I was like, Oh, my God, I forgot the milk.

I cannot.

No, I know.

The ingredients are literally on the back. The recipe is on the back. Not even recipe.

The butter is The steps. The butter is optional. Literally, milk is the only non-optional one. I don't know, I just forgot. I still ate the entire box. That is really crazy.

Do you even have milk in your house?

I do. For coffee and... When I go to the grocery store, I'm always picking up a bottle of Skim.

That's good. Milk was something I never had in my house before. Kids, because I use half and half.

I think that growing up, they teach you that milk is so volatile and spoiled milk, spoiled milk. Meanwhile, I got a box of milk in my fridge for a month. I don't know why they acted like it was gone in less than a week.

Who is warning you about spoiled milk?

I just feel like spoiled milk is a thing. When you were kids, you were always afraid of spoiled milk. Don't cry, ever spilled milk. I don't know, milk. I just feel like I have been conditioned to believe that milk is extremely sensitive. He's always spoiled. Meanwhile, I got this box of milk, carton. I swear to God, it's been in my fridge for a month, and it's delicious. Do you feel that call? Hi.

I do feel that cold, but I also feel like it's like time feels so much longer when you're a kid. So like a month when you're a kid feels like a year. So you have to be careful.

I just want to say.

Whereas now, you're much more aware of the days of the week and the time, space continuum.

This week, we are really turning into the good guy. Every episode, we start talking about food.

Really? Okay. We talked about meat yesterday.

We're just like, I just feel like we're in our food era. It's fine. Lean in. It's the holidays. Everybody's going to be carrying a little holiday weight.

It's so that time of year. It's so true. I think I'm actually making a beef stew today if I can find the time. Oh my gosh.

I was thinking about beef stew earlier this morning.

I have some beef stew chunks that I took out of the freezer a few days ago.

So it's now or never. It's like, Shit, I got off the pot.

No, I don't want to waste this precious beef, and it is Shabbat. Why not a beef stew? Why not me?

Are you worried about getting beef between your teeth?

Yes, but I have really great flossed teeth.

Yeah, and it would be lost without Have your floss.

And beef stew is worth getting beef between the teeth. I can't say that about everything.

Okay, so that's what I'm saying about tostitos. Some things are worth the journey.

I haven't replaced my tostito salsa yet, so Take that with a grain of salt.

It'll be the last thing I ever replace. How about that? Okay?

Oh, you think so?

I'm a little worried about RFK, I can't lie, because I I heard him say something about Ozempic. He was like, Listen, I think it's great because obviously, obesity is a huge problem in this country, but I really want to tackle why. Of course. This is a cause and effect type of thing, and I get it, but if he touches a tiny hair on the head of Ozempic, he will hear from me.

I think until the root causes are tackled and the problem is solved, we leave Ozempic as is.

He didn't say he was going to do anything about it.

But I am worried. That is a counterargument I've heard to Ozempic. It's like, okay, people are still eating the bad food. Their insides are still not great, and we're not stopping the issue from continuing to happen. So I agree with the root cause. Ever since Lady Tan, I've just been such a root cause, Swirly.

This is just my official message/threat to Bobby.

Do not come.

Do It does not come to Ozempic HQ because I am the CEO, and you are not welcome here. Leave it alone. Can you imagine?

Can you imagine by the time I finally get around to getting to get out of Ozempic, it's gone?

Rfk is banned.

I need to stop pilot.

I should be doing that. Although it does expire. You have to be careful.

What's the shell boy?

It's pretty decent.

That's so fucking classic. That's what's going to happen.

Then the prices are going to go even more up because now it's even more in demand.

Worst if it's just gone but not forgotten. Oh, my God. Could you imagine? That would be seriously so funny.

No, it would actually not be funny to some of us who rely on it. It's a life-saving drug.

I mean, it is. But then you have to question why the life was in jeopardy to begin with. Please consider this.

I've put Bobby on notice.

Okay. I'm older. I'm older.

What's on the docket for today? Stories are... Give him a letter grade.

Stories are fun. F is for fun.

Well, F is for failure when I said a letter grade, but okay.

I know, but it doesn't fall into the rubric, okay? Some students just are not good test makers.

We also have Queenie and Weanie, which I studied extensively and thought really hard this morning about who I wanted to dominate for my Queenie and Weanie, and I want to say it has not come to me, which doesn't really happen. Sometimes I struggle with one, but there's usually multiple candidates. Was this a blah week?

Was it a blah week? Let's look at what the stories were. Let me just reorient myself.

It was sexiest man alive, John Mulaney and Olivia Munn.

I don't know.

Megan Fox is pregnant. Okay.

Right. Yeah. I guess it was A bit of a quiet week.

I'm still going to think, and maybe by the end of the show, I will have come up with something, but I just want to let you know it's not coming naturally to me this week.

Everything comes naturally.

And in the spirit of transparency, it was important that I share that.

Thank you for sharing I'm sharing that. I think I just saw a weaning candidate in my midst.

Well, I mean, there's always Mark Ruffalo. We'll never be truly without a weaning as long as Mark Ruffalo is still roaming this Earth.

So true. Well, let's get into It's a fun story, shall we? Yes. Let me think.

Was there anything else I wanted to chat to you about?

Chat to me, Molly May.

Oh, yeah. I ran into it. Okay, so I was walking on the street today on my way to work listening to Philip Phillips. I'm definitely having a Philip Phillips renaissance. Actually, not a lot of people know this about Philip Phillips. I discovered yesterday on TikTok. He actually is taking a Taylor Swift approach to some of his most popular music because he released it post-idol when you're in that piece of shit contract. He has a couple of Philip's versions out there floating around. He did Home, he did Gone, Gone, Gone. Now long after you're gone. That's what I was listening to on The Way to Work Today. As I was listening, I see this girl walk by me, and it took me a minute to register. I was like, Oh, my God, she's wearing a TMT beanie. It's not our logo anymore. But back in the day when we were the morning to us, most of our merch had that TMT logo when we made It was really old. It must have been 2019. I was like, Oh, my God. It took me a second. I literally chased her down the street. I was like, I love your hat.

Then it occurred to me, sometimes, and I've heard this happen, people will find toast merch at Goodwill, or I don't know, stole it from a friend and doesn't know. I was attacking this girl. I'm like, Maybe she doesn't know. Then she was like, Oh, my God. I felt so relieved. We took a picture together. But I seriously wanted to ask her for the hat. It's like, I don't have it here. I actually haven't seen it.

Which one is it? I have a lot. I pretty much have every piece of merch we've ever made, and it's- It's pale pink with a white stitched patch on the forehead.

Patch? Yeah, not embroidered.

Pale pink. Okay, let me look.

It was so random. Let me dig around. I haven't seen it in years. This must be how Calvin Klein feels when he walks around town seeing people in his designs.

It's so true. Speaking of merch is still available. Shop toastmerch. Com. Place your orders, get your things. Cozy winter wear.

It's something that I meant to send you as a story this week that I thought you would find interesting. But now we can just talk about it. I don't know if you've heard because the department stores are doing their thing in New York City. This is where they shine. A lot of them, I walked past Burgdorff the other day. Carton's up. They're going to do a big unveiling. Bloomingdale just did this huge unveiling in partnership with Wicked. So everyone's spending the dollars. And it turns out, Sacks has announced that they are not doing their big light show this I saw it.

Did they give a reason?

Yeah, money. The economy, they're not doing as good as they once were.

Money, money, money.

But usually, it's sponsored. Last year, it was like Christian Dior was so sick. Me and Ben actually saw it when we took a dying Theo to see the Rockefellers on our tree. But I saw an interview with the CEO, and he was like, When we announced this, I think people ran with it. You guys are a little bit misunderstanding. We're still going to have lights up around. The whole building is going to be lit up. They always do a very pretty installation with different windows, and then the whole building is covered in lights. We're just not doing a big show where people are invited to come. Remember Jennifer Lawrence was there because it was your... They're just not doing a big ta-da. But rest, have no fear, the light show will go on.

Okay, so they- It was a nothing burger.

I'm glad we didn't choose it as a story.

That's half a story. They're just not having their two-hour thing, but everything else for the season will be the same. It's even a little bit pick me. They're still getting dressed up. Then blaming us for... That's when Kylie said she named her son Wolf and was like, I don't know why everyone's calling him Wolf. That's not his name. It's like, I wonder where we got that from.

Because you told us.

It's because you told us that.

I wonder where we got that from. Another thing, is Skims X Delta Dugana a story today? It's a story, yeah. I'll give my thoughts there because I saw it yesterday. I wanted to talk about it.

I think you're leading us into the fast five stories that you need to know.

The fast five stories that you need to know. Oh, sorry. Hold on. I'm going to set my Timer. Just been having a lot of trouble recently.

I'm sorry. Tarty, you want to talk about Excuse me? I'm listening to my glasses. Wait, why are you wearing glasses? Why are you wearing glasses?

Today's episode of The Toast is supported by...

Whose glasses are those? Is it a sponsor for this next sponsor? You're wearing the glasses?

No, this is like an inside...

It's not our first sponsor, is it Morby Parker?

This is an inside joke between me and my TikTok followers. So basically, this pair of glasses materialized inside my home. I have no idea where they came from.

They look like something your husband wears.

Jackie. First of all, they're not real glasses. They don't have a prescription. They are absolutely fugly. They look like something like someone who's an elf, but also a libertian wears.

That's a fun job.

They literally turned up in my house. I don't even know where me and Ben just... I assumed they were Ben's, and Ben assumed they were mine. The other day, I was like, Where the fuck do these glasses come from? You have to see them in person. They're so weird looking. And I was making TikTok about them, and people were like, You should put them on during the ads and see what Jackie says. So that's what I did.

Who makes them?

Why are you acting like it's a designer? They're from Amazon. And to be honest, they showed up in my house around the same time that I started receiving a lot of packages from Amazon with our Halloween costume. So I think for a second, I thought Ben was using this for a Halloween costume. I have no idea where they came from. Now, a couple of people were saying, Claudia, if somebody wrote into Deer Toaster saying they found this pair of glasses, you would assume that their My husband. So yes, my husband might be having an affair with a part-time elf, Librarian. I'm not too worried, just given the style.

I'm not too worried, given the style.

Let's say Ben is having an affair with the owner of these glasses. She's obviously got nothing on me. I'm not even concerned.

And they don't even have a prescription, because if they did, then she's walking around and she can't see, so she can't find your husband. She's blind. And because they don't have a prescription, that means she's seriously phony below me.

Now, the only other real concerning thing is that I don't think they're a part of the costume because they're I'm beat up. These are not new glasses.

Maybe you had a house guest who left them and they're watching the show, watching us make fun of their glasses. Maybe it's your friend Abe.

He hasn't been to my apartment in a really long time. The last person that was there was actually the Taylor's were there, and Shannon.

I could see Taylor Strecker.

I could see Taylor Strecker. She is 40, so.

No, but they're fake glasses. I could see her committing to a look. Oh, sorry.

These were in my apartment long before the Taylor's arrived, way Who are you for?

Shannon.

Also, they were here before Shannon. And I don't have a lot of house guests. So the mystery remains, if these glasses look familiar to you or someone you know, please come collect them. I don't know what to do with them.

That is really funny.

Well, anyways, they have been helping me read. So today's episode is brought to you by State Farm. When you get a new car or a new home, the first thing you might find yourself saying is, literally what? Or, okay, how is this real? But really, the words you want to be thinking or singing are, Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. State Farm is there with the coverage that you need for your car, your home, even boats, motorcycles, and RVs, and other things that matter to you. With a State Farm agent, you know someone is there to help you choose the coverage you need. With so many coverage options, it feels good knowing that you can find what fits for you. And when you need ways to get help, State Farm gives you options there, too. So maybe you're like me, a technology swirly who loves to do everything on their phone. With State Farm, you can get help on statefarm. Com or on their award-winning app. Perhaps you're like Jax, you like to handle things in person or talk on the phone with a local agent. Well, that's what we love about State Farm.

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I'm actually really glad to be working with State Farm again because I feel like there are always rumors about whether or not State Farm is there.

Yeah, and we are putting those rumors on us to clear that up.

It's on us to clear that up. 100%, Like a Good Neighbor, State Farm is there. So don't get it twisted. Like A Good Neighbor, State Farm is there. Okay. I let you have your moment, and you couldn't do the same because you're threatened by my talent. Today's episode is also brought to you by Chewy. The most wonderful time of the year is just about to be here. But for some of us, it's stressful. Your to-do list is a million miles long, and somehow what your pet needs always seems to be a do it tomorrow thing. Because there are only so many hours in the day. But that's why we do all of our shopping for the fur angels living in our lives on Chewy. Chewy is everything we need to keep our pet healthy and happy. You can shop on your schedule. Everything gets chips right to your door in one to two days. And it's for all pets, not just dogs. I know some people have cats, which is crazy, but cats have needs, too, and you can shop at Chewy. If you have a bird, fish, reptile, really whatever you could need for any pet, they have it Chewy.

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Thank you, T-U-R-T.

Com. What can I say except you're welcome.

And that's just another great reminder that Moana, too, is coming out next week.

It's also another great reminder that I actually am an artist. You can stream my music on Spotify, wherever you get your music. So true. I have a couple of songs. By a couple, I mean... How many do I have? Two? Two. The first, which took the music industry by storm, definitely wasn't appreciated in its own time, Toast by Claudia Ashray, a real summer pop anthem. And the second, the follow-up lead single was 100%. That was definitely slept on. The sophomore song. My sophomore album. It was definitely slept on by the community. And I think I really need to shout out. Seriously, the queer community, they're the only people who stream my music because they understand. I'm the Carly Ray Jepsen of the podcasting world. So, yeah, just a reminder.

Stream Toast. Stream Toast.

It's so good. I heard it actually this morning because I was watching the Spritz Society Instagram stories, and somebody used it.

What would the Spritz Society Instagram stories in reels do if you didn't have original music?

Let me tell you something, actually. If you're an aspiring podcaster, influencer, creator, I don't I don't know what the hell we are these days, but if you're aspiring to do something- Creators. Something of that nature, having your own music that you own is such a smart business decision. I was able to use all my original music in my specials. You don't have to pay licensing fees when it's your... So I just want to say, for my business, POV, write your own music. Actually, I didn't write it. Totally. But you can produce your own music. I didn't produce it either. Come out with your own music.

Our first story, something that was alluded to earlier gotten bumped to number one spot, is Kim Kardashian tapping Courtney for a joint Skims X Dolce & Gabbana campaign after their wedding feud. So a couple pieces of news here. One, Skims is doing a collab with Dolce & Gabbana, a la Fendi X Skims. Fendi X Skims, and it's in the Dolce & Gabbana vein, very Skims vein, very cute. And then the campaign, she tapped Courtney for the photos, which is harking back to their feud about the wedding. The campaign says a duo, a Dolce & Vita, like L-O-L.

It's come full circle. It says, Starring Courtney Kardashian, and all the pictures are just of Kim, but whatever. I absolutely loved this. I actually think one of the last really interesting story lines from the Kardashian's show on Hulu was that Skims James Dolce & Gabbana... No, I'm sorry. Just that Dolce & Gabbana thing because it was so real. We all saw it happening in real-time, and we're curious about it, and they really didn't hold back. I feel like that was the last time they really unleashed with us. Then they all just went their I feel like we actually got no... What's the word I'm looking for? Resolution on that. I do wish it was a bit of a shorter turnaround time on this because it has been a while since that whole scandal happened. Nevertheless, I think this is a great way to, A, make up with your sister, B, alert to the public that we have resolved this in a funny way. Rising Tides, Rise All Shides, Courtney gets to be in a Dolce spread. I actually really liked this.

I love the collab idea. Some of the pieces look great, and I think that this is a total no-brainer. I think actually this is what they should have done when Kim started working with Dolce because when she did her curated looks, that just didn't- She was a creative director.

I don't even know.

She did a fashion show, and then they rereleased old pieces. I just don't think it had the impact that they thought it would. This should have been that.

By the way, it was supposed to be because if you remember in the Kardashian's, they talked about how they started working together, and it was supposed to be at first, Skims ex Dolce, which is why Kim felt totally fine about not even telling to Courtney because it was just going to be something for Skims. But I guess that didn't work out. They didn't have the lead time or whatever. So he ended up doing this half baked, whatever it was.

And I think that takes away from this and all that momentum that Kim had with Dolce. But I love the I have an idea, and I love that she tapped Courtney. I don't love the photos.

Oh, yeah. No, the creative direction is not what I would do. It's also like...

It's so close to... I understand the vision, but I just feel it didn't come out great.

And do you feel that that esthetic, La Dolce Vita, leopardy type of Italian big hair. It's a little done for Kim. She had a years long where that was her whole shtick, and she doesn't dress like that anymore, so it actually doesn't even feel authentic.

That's why this feels late. Whereas if it happened a year ago or two years ago, it would have been just so timely and so perfect. However, luckily for Kim, that style is timeless. It's just a feminine, glamorous look. It's not like she's doing her spaceship look. That is very trendy. So everyone will always want to dress like this. It's just a feminine, beautiful way to look, and it accentuates your curves, and it's great. But yes, it's not congruous with the way that Kim's dressing right now. It does feel a little played out because she spent so much time and energy on that years ago.

Yeah. And also, I feel like it's just really interesting as a consumer, my reaction to this, because I remember when Skims X Fendi was announced, I was first in line. Not only did I buy stuff that morning on the website, you and I went to the store and wanted to see if they had extras. I was so obsessed. I didn't really move when this was announced. I liked that Courtney was in it. I think that was the most interesting part, ironically. The pieces are not anything I would ever wear. It's like, underwear, boy shorts with little titty-bitty. Sorry, I have huge jugs. I can't.

The pictures also make it hard to see what they're selling exactly. Is it just bras and underwear? I tapped over to the You can see some things- Morgan Stewer posted on her Instagram that she got it.

That's where I saw most of the stuff.

Oh, sweet. I got to go look. They're selling bras, panties, tops, and dresses. I clicked to see dresses, but it doesn't click through. Then the whole collection comes out on November 19th. I'm definitely curious, but what was so great about Fenty was that it was outerwear. If this is all bras and undies, I don't need Dolce & Gabbana underwear.

No, I don't, especially because I wear Skims bras and underwear, and I think they're amazing, and they're way cheaper.

But if these There are corsets that I can wear out with a blazer, I love that. I want to see what's actually for sale. Also, a lot of the images are black and white. I want to see the product.

Yes, the creative that she had posted on Instagram really did not highlight from... I'm no merchandiser, but I said, What are we selling here? The chair?

I feel like sometimes people go to extreme lengths to take photos on set, on a beach, a crazy surface.

They freeze themselves just for the shot. Why?

Just go to the beach in Miami, whatever.

Have you heard of AI?

No, but I feel like this is AI, and you could feel it.

Here's what I'll say. It wasn't for me.

This would have benefited from... I don't even know if they went there. It just doesn't feel like they did.

But it did get me thinking about Courtney.

I think it's a studio in Calabasas. Yeah.

It did get me thinking about Courtney because then I went on a Courtney stockage yesterday, and then I saw she posted this in feed carousel. It was either their anniversary or Travis's birthday. She just posted a bunch of never before photos and videos of their life. It was nothing crazy. It was just all really cute. Them playing, What's that song? Heart and Soul?

Heart and Soul.

Really cute. It's just actually really crazy how unbothered and happy she is. When we zoom out, it's just, at least for me, in my journey with the Kardashian, Courtney was never my number one, really. She just totally came out on top, unbothered, happy queen. You could feel it in that carousel, pure joy. Yeah, they're weird with the tongues or whatever, but they are so in love. She has such an amazing marriage after being in such a volatile, fucked up relationship for so many years.

Yeah. I think It's all great. I'm excited to see the pieces. I got to go look at Morgan's story then.

Ever's idea was to put Courtney at the center of this. That's the most brilliant part of this collab, in my opinion.

Yeah, it feels very full circle.

It does.

Are you ready for our next story? Yeah. Oscar's 2025 Host has been tapped. I haven't heard.

Let me get my true, genuine reaction. Let me think. Let me think. Let me think. Let me guess first. Is it like classic Jimmy?

No. This person is taking over for Jimmy. Okay, give me a clue. But it's not dissimilar. It's in the Jimmy vein, but his name doesn't start with a J. Seth Meyers? No, same thing, though.

Stephen Colbert?

No, but same thing.

Konan? Yeah. Okay, by the way, that's He's not in the same vein, actually. I know he's technically had a late night show and whatever, but Konan is different. If you know late night drama, he is... First of all, I think a lot of people would say he's much funnier and more talented than the OGs, the Jimmies who just sit in a chair and ask questions and make TikToks these days. Konan has a cult, cult following. People are obsessed with Konan. I actually really don't interact much with Konan. I know his podcast is immensely popular. He did take over for Who? Jay Leno, and then got fired immediately. He had some drama. Then he did have that TBS late Night show, but I don't consider that in competition with the basic cable networks, right?

To me, he is of the exact same elk as those guys. I'm glad to hear you don't think so.

No, he's really not. I think he would be assaulted at that, too. Really? Yeah, because that, I think, is why he didn't really work in that traditional late night model when he took over whatever spot it was. He got a big It's like a Joan Rivers story where you get this big spot and it doesn't work out, and you think your whole career is ending. But maybe much like Joan, you can't put them in a box. True, wild, outrageous, smart comedians aren't meant for that bland job. We always are clowning on late night. I happen to really like Jimmy Fallon. I think he's very funny, and I like his shtick. But I wouldn't say he's the most innovative comedian thought leader of our time, right?

Is this an episode of Body Snatchers?

What is so crazy that I said?

I happen to like Jimmy Fallon. I think he's really funny. I do.

By the way, I feel like I've said that before. I hate Jimmy Kimmel. I think Steven Colbera is literally the least funny person on the planet. Seth Meyers, seriously, I don't even know enough about you comment.

How do you even tell them all apart? To me, they're just one lump of unfunnyness. I don't have different- Maybe it's because I'm a fellow comedian.

James Corden.

Yeah. James Corden, I can differentiate. The rest of them are all lumped together. I know.

I think Jimmy Fallon is really... He's like an America's Sweetheart type of vibe. I would say he's the most successful one, for sure. I would say that all the celebrities seem to really like him, so he gets the best guests. I think one because it's, of course, the Tonight Show on NBC, but people feel comfortable, and I think he hangs out with them in the real world. I don't know. Whenever we discuss late night and how they're all untalented weanies, I'm really not talking about Jimmy Fallon. Okay. I swear to God, I'm not. I sound like I've been booked on the Jimmy Fallon show, so I need to be cool.

1,000 %. No, no. That is what you sound like.

I just feel like it was important for me whenever we plan on late night. I'm really not talking about Jimmy Fallon.

Or Konan.

Yeah, but I'm not even talking. I don't think Konan is in this group of people. He's not.

Who would you say is similar to Konan that's alive? That's alive.

Oh, that's a really good question. Nobody. That's why he's so different. I feel like I don't even get or know the full Konan lore, but I know that there is Lore there.

Well, you know what? I'll probably turn on the beginning of the Oscars.

I think you'll like him. I think he doesn't give a fuck.

Well, I do like that.

Very Ricky Gervais-ish. I do like that. Nobody is as brave as Ricky Gervais. But I think Konan, at one point in his career, maybe cared about playing the game, but I don't think he cares anymore. His podcast is immensely popular.

That's the power of podcasting.

It's true. It gives you... You don't have to act out. You can act out.

Joan would have loved podcasting.

Oh, my God. Joan would have had the most successful podcast, and she was actually really ahead of her time. She had a web show long before that was even a thing in bed with Joan. If you actually go back, she had amazing guests. Rupaul was on. She actually had Theo Vaughn on before he was major.

Sarah Sillman. But if what happened to Joan happened in modern times where she was blackballed from the industry, she would have taken to podcasting, and she would have been the world's greatest podcaster.

You mean if she had podcasting after In the '60s? Yes. She would have still done it up until this day? Yes. It's disgraceful that we never got a Joan Rivers podcast because talk about she's unfiltered, and she was saying some wild shit on E, and she was getting away with it. I could only imagine if it's truly you can't hold her back, what she's saying. Right.

Weekly. We missed out.

We missed out. It's for the best. This culture wouldn't even appreciate it. They would try to cancel her. They don't deserve it. They would try to cancel her because they don't understand her.

Right.

I'm Sometimes I see a snot nose kid on TikTok crying about something, and I'm like, You need a slap from Joan Rivers. You need to be sat down and spoken to by Joan Rivers.

Yeah.

But they don't deserve it. They don't deserve that enlightenment.

No, they wouldn't even be. They want to know what to do with it. Anyways, you just made me excited for the Oscar's turdy, just for the potential, the pretent.

I think it's a good choice. Also, when we think about the people who are always tapped, Trevor Noah, unfunny, it's uninspiring. I feel like Coden has never done this before. It's like fresh blood. It's always interesting when people are really well-liked by all the comedians. I was just watching Nikki Glazer. She was talking about how she does everything she had to avoid comments about herself. She's like, I cannot handle it. I refuse. But she's a huge Konan fan, so she goes on Reddit, Konan, to talk with that fellow fans. She ended up on a thread about herself because she was on Konan. It was the worst thing that ever happened to her. It was unavoidable. But then I was like, Wow, there's even a Konan Reddit. There is an He had a session with Konan.

Okay. Well, by the way, he did host the Emmys in 2002 and 2006, and the White House Correspondence dinner in 1995 and 2013.

Yeah, he's been around for a long time.

Yeah. So he has that traditional hosting.

But '02 and '06, I feel like those were the years where he was playing the game, trying to get a late night show, being like everybody else.

Yeah.

That's just my thoughts. I actually don't know if that's true.

No, I like... Even if you're wrong, even if everything you just said about Konan is wrong. You like the story I'm telling. I like the It's the story you're telling because it leaves room for hope and optimism. Yeah.

Even though that thing you said the other day about what Matt Damon said about movies has really stuck with me because now, like I said, I'm watching so much cable, and I'm seeing commercials for all the new movies that are coming out. Oh, and on Jeopardy last night, there was a category about 2024 Rave reviews. It was all about, you had to guess what movie they were talking about based on the rave review that was written about it. My ass hadn't heard of one of these fucking movies, Jurassic Park, Big I'm on Zillow One. I hadn't heard of any of these movies.

And Double Jog.

Literally, boom. I'm such a media literate person. I go to the movies, I know what goes on in culture. I'm like, damn, that's really what Jackie said. All these big, stupid movies.

Yes.

Big, stupid- Double-chall chocolate coffee.

Yeah. All these huge action movies, franchises, things that have done well in the past. There's no for just a little starter movie to find its legs in the theater.

And then on Jeopardy, I saw commercial for another movie, and it was Big Red or something. I was like, damn, Matt Damon was speaking facts.

Yeah. Anyways, Oscars will be on March second, 2025. So that's in a long time.

I can wait. I'll be okay.

Are you ready for our next story, which is a crazy controversy?

Oh, my God. Who's in Hot Water?

Jenny Jenny Mullen is getting slammed for getting on a plane with lice.

Oh, interesting. I saw Jenny Mullen the other day.

Well, hopefully she didn't have lice when you saw her. Oh my God, I gave her a hug. Fans are slamming Jenny Mullen for getting on a five-hour flight with lice. The actress revealed she had lice in her hair during a video shared to Instagram recently. She said, I can't even deal. This is insane. I've never had lice in my life. I don't know what to do.

I guess, by the way- It's important that people know while we give our take on this story. Jackie and I are experts in There was a five-year period where every single summer we came home from camp with lice. We treated it the day we came home for two weeks after. We know everything there is to know about lice, so we are actually experts on the matter.

She said, I've been itching for two weeks, so they've been living on me for two weeks.

I hope not when you saw her.

Anyway, her solution was to wrap a clear plastic bag around her head for the trip, but followers in her comments were appalled that she would put others at risk by catching a flight with untreated lice. Wow, are you kidding me? You got on a plane with lice and so on and so forth.

You know what? I'm really never one to side with the backlash. I think if you're giving backlash, seriously, get a job. Having said that, I fear that they do make a good point, especially because this is a public transportation. Someone else will sit in that seat Lice can live in the fibers, maybe not of leather plane chairs, but like coach bus chairs that are fuzzy. So maybe the chairs in the airport, they can live for 24 hours in certain fibers.

So Here's the thing. I think people travel with Lice knowingly and unknowingly all the time because you got Lice, but you got plans, you got things to do. I think really her posting about this and sharing this was a huge mistake. You do not need to share everything that is going on in your life. It does look bad when you're knowingly sitting there with lice in a seat that someone else, next to neighbors.

It's something that you should do privately. Especially because if she ended up on her Instagram the next day in New York when she was in LA, I think a lot of people would have assumed that she flew private. Her husband's a huge actor. It would have really not been a thing.

Or they maybe would have assumed that she got the lice under control and whatever. They could have assumed a million things, and it would have been fine. But to just brazenly be sitting there with your half your head covered in a plastic cap talking about how you have lice on public transportation, that's not a good thing to do.

I am in agreement. And honestly, I have not had lice since probably what? Seventh grade? When was the last time? I can't remember the last time I had lice. Oh, no, I had it once in high school. Oh, my God. And then I kept coming. I was treating it at home. Now I'm itching. I'm itching, too. But it's just because we're talking about it. I had it in high school. Actually, it was a rumor that... Okay, so it was me and this other girl. Her name was Daniella. Every morning for two weeks, we'd have to go to the nurse's office for a check before we could officially start the day at school. Almost every single day we got sent home because we still had lice. I was not mad, honestly. Of course. Everybody knew that it was this girl, me and Daniella. We kept getting sent home. It's actually a dramatic story, let me tell you. Then that following weekend, that upcoming weekend was Shabbatone. For those who don't know, if you go to a Jewish day school, once or twice a year, there's a field trip. It's called the Shabbatone, where you basically just spend Shabbat together.

It's usually at this big hotel, you all eat and pray. It's actually really fun. It's like you leave school- It's like the social event of the season. You leave school Friday, and I think you come back Sunday morning. It's a nice weekend retreat. To be at Chappaqua, and I remember being like, Oh, my God, am I going to be able to go on Shabbatone because I have light? Nice. They did let me go. I remember there were some whispers about nobody wanting to room with me, but my friends were really Ogie. They just all slept in one bed and I slept in the other. I loved it. But I don't know why I was tapped that weekend to give a divar tora. A divar tora, on Friday night of Shabbat. Every week in Shul or on Shabbat, you read a part. I was talking about this last week, a different chapter of the Torah. A chapter. Then a divar tora is when somebody at dinner will lead a meal, giving you a life lesson. I studied this chapter. Let me tell you what I learned and how we can apply it modern day. You know my ass, I took my power back in that moment.

I made the whole divar tora about lice and how I was a social pariah because of my... It was a Phoenix rising from the ashes type of moment. I was this social outcast with my lice. Nobody wants to sleep with me. They didn't even want me coming on the Shabbatone. I'm sure some parents are like, That Osprey girl is coming. I gave... Oh, my God, they were cackling because I think they were like, Damn, wow, she's still going to speak? Brave. Not only did I speak, I acknowledged the elephant in the room, and I slayed the house down boots.

That is so crazy. What was the moral of the story that people should have been more accepting and hugging you?

Are you saying what's the moral of my Devar Torah? I don't actually recall, and I don't think I was shaming everyone into accepting me. Into hugging you. I was just able to relate to what the character in the Bible was going through. Because I had experienced it on a smaller level that week in school.

Understood.

A couple of years ago, I was going through some random papers, and I found the printed It out. Oh, my God. I wish I kept it. I was cackling. It was honestly brilliant. It was hysterical.

That's really funny. Yeah.

But life is not funny. I feel like the theme of this month has been core memories from high school coming back to me.

Yeah, I wonder why.

I wonder why, too.

Something in the air.

Something has changed within me.

Maybe it's the lack of a 10-pull story. This quarter, sometimes it's the Royals, Taylor, Kardashian, everyone's quiet. So what about us?

Yeah, what if we just turned the tables? What if we told our stories?

What if we told our stories?

Just this once.

And called it Herstory. Just this once. Anyways.

What was the story?

Jenny Molen.

Oh, right. Oh, all that to say, the reason I got here, is I haven't had a lice in my adult life. I remember the experience of having lice as a child. It was horrible. It was really worse than you could have imagined. And at least you're a kid. I can't even imagine I can imagine having it as an adult. But I guess that's something you have to worry about when you have kids, right? Yeah, for sure. Picking it up. Because you have boys. If your boys came on with lice, would you shave their heads?

Yeah, that always seems to be the easier route, so probably.

Yeah, that was a thing we couldn't do. We were a house full of girls. But if you have a couple of boys with short hair, bye.

Yeah. Are you ready for our next story? No. No, I don't think you are. You could never be ready for this story.

Is it the next story that's brought to you by Rakuten, perchance?

Perchance it is.

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You know how much I love to throw a game in my ad copy. Because there are so many fabulous things you can buy and earn back with rackettin, let's do a little Would You Rather holiday edition, okay? I would love that. You're shopping a ticket master. You're buying tickets to Rascal Flatts or Taylor Swift?

I don't want to get hate, but Rascal Flatts. Because we just went.

Yeah.

And Rascal has been off. This one's for a lifetime. And they're not going back on tour. Okay.

You're at Lowe's. You're buying a crockpot or an air fryer?

Crockpot.

You're at Alleo. Even though I have two. You're at Alleo. You're going for a cute seamla or cozy sweater set?

I think a cute seamla. Love that.

You're on Instacart. You're getting ingredients for Jackie's Chili or Jackie's beef stew.

Now you're asking the tough questions. I think chili.

I don't know. I woke up this morning craving a beef stew.

You know what? I just realized I plan to make beef stew today, and I don't have the ingredients.

Well, thankfully, you earn back on Instacart with Rakuten.

No, thankfully, this just reminded me.

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Neiman Marcus, not stilettos, maybe a Lofern in between.

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What can I... I'm feeling very musical today.

I know. I don't want to stop you. Oh, okay.

Except you're Our next story is some blossoming couple news that we have not checked in on in a while, but Kim Zolciak and Chet Hanks are fueling romance rumors, again, while attending a Jolly Roll concert together.

Kim Zolciak and Chet Hanks fueled romance rumors while attending the Jolly Roll concert. She took to Instagram on Wednesday to gush about having the best time with the country singer and his beautiful wifey, saying she had so much fun, and she was with Chet Hanks and her pal, Jenny Doyle. She said, One of my absolute favorite concerts in everyone that was/is part of this massive operation is beyond kind. Oh my God, you just reminded me.

Bria Beermann texted me the other day. She's like, I have a piece of gossip for you. And then she never answered. Then I never answered. So you just reminded me that I never answered. I literally responded. I I said.

Well, I hope it's about these two being in love and getting married.

I ship so wholeheartedly. And if you take a look at these two holistically, it just makes sense. Sometimes you hear about a couple and you think that they could be related, and that's how you know that they're perfect for one another. They look like siblings, and he looks like Croy.

Kim Zolciak. Kim Zolciak being Tom Hanks' daughter-in-law is everything to me.

It feels right. Kim Zolciak I know there's so much lore around her, and I did definitely stop keeping up with her family at the level that I was because it was taking a dark turn with the divorce. But they could never make me dislike this woman. I just ride for her. I think she's so unique and so interesting, and I love her family. I'm truly devastated that it didn't work out with Croy, but to know that she has found love in the arms of a Hollywood nepo baby, that brings joy. It does.

Do you agree? It really does. I think he really loves her. They haven't confirmed that they're together, but you don't go to a concert. It just makes sense. I think that they are seeing things, seeing how it goes. But from what he said about her, I think he would wait forever for her. I think she's his dream woman. Yeah.

Can you just see- She deserves that.

I feel like every man that she is with, worships at the altar of Kim Zolciak, except for Big Papa. It's true. He didn't choose her.

Yeah. But can you imagine Chet bringing Kim Zolciak home for the holidays?

No. Imagining that is what sustains me and fuels me.

I like to think that Tom Hanks is not as so serious as we... I actually think if he just sat down and had a drink with Kim Zolciak, he might actually really like her.

For sure. Do you think Chet Hanks goes home for the holidays? Because there's a lot also between them all.

There is a lot. I think a lot of people assume that Chet's on the outs with his family because he's so nuts. But anytime Tom is being honored for something, all of his kids show up, they let Chet do his thing. They know he's nutty, and they don't try and silence him. Maybe they did in the beginning, and they realized it wasn't. But as far as I know, they are this tight family unit. I do think Chet Hanks goes home for the holidays. Like, dead ass. Sound off in the comments. Do you think Chet Hanks goes home for the holidays?

I hope that Kim and her crew are going with him. Well, that's the thing. Is she- Are going with him? Because Kim needs to be with her family for the holidays.

Is she showing up with six kids? I don't know.

Well, she has to be with her kids for the holidays, so otherwise, she can't go to the Hanks family function if she's not with her kids.

She at least has to bring the younger for because Bre-elle is engaged, and I feel like probably spending the holidays in this new life of hers.

But you think Bre-elle is going to pass up Christmas at Tom Hanks house? No. Christmas at the Hanks'. I don't know. Then so Bre-elle has to bring her fiance. It's a whole family affair.

Once they find out we're going to Tom's, everybody is getting It's beautiful. It is beautiful. I know a lot of people look at this couple and they have their judgments, and I just want to say, I look at them and I see true love. I agree. I think they are perfect for one another. Maybe it's just because Chet, seriously, could be Croy Beermann. They are twins.

They met on the set of one of those- Reality. All-star reality shows called MTV's Surreal Life Villa of Secrets. I really love those shows because I do feel like a A handful of people really meet the right person for them there.

I agree. We get a couple of really strong couples, even the ones that don't work out, Pauly D. And Aubrey O'Day. That was a good one, even though she said that it was one of the worst relationships she's ever been in. At the time, I enjoyed it.

Yeah, of course. Blake Hortsman and Giannina.

Did they meet on one of those shows or just through Instagram? Yes.

They met on one of those shows. Yeah.

Every now and then, there's a really good crossover.

That was when Roni Magro was dating Malika.

So that was the same show as Pauley- Famously in Love. Famously in Love. Yeah, that was a good show on E. Why did they cancel that? I don't know.

Probably because I liked it.

Once again, Jackie's at fault.

It's funny that I would watch Famously in Love, but not any of these other shows.

Yeah. Something about E, they have a way with us. They definitely have a chokehold on Millennial Women. We can't quit them.

I really liked that show. I should watch some of these other, but I was also more so in my reality TV era, so I knew everyone going on the show. Now I think I wouldn't know so many of the people.

There's a learning curve for you.

I don't know anyone on The Bachelor except for Ariel Frankl.

Yeah, and that's really all you need to know.

It's so true. In my opinion. Are you ready for our fifth and final story?

Bitting It was such sweet sorrow, my lad, but yes.

A little holiday special news because someone's getting a holiday special. Who? They're bringing some other people. Josh Groban is getting a CBS holiday special called Go Home for the Holidays. I love this. With Jennifer Hudson Robin. Oh, wow. Because she just came out with a holiday album.

Are they co-hosting or she's just one of the many guests? No.

It's his show. It's Josh Groban and Friends, Go Home for the Holidays, and it will be a variety of special featuring performances from him as well as Jennifer Hudson, Tori Kelly, who never misses a TV special, James Bay, and The War and Treaty.

I love The War and Treaty. Okay, I love this.

I also just want to add this one. I want to add this one note. It will be filmed at the Bram Goldsmith Theater. The program will also center on the American foster care system and feature a family adopting a child live on here.

Wait. Okay. I know we can go down a hole and be like, That's weird. You handle your shit privately. But It's definitely traumatizing for the kid being adopted. But-i think it's a really crazy concept. It really is. But before you said that, I thought it was so sweet, a mission. I feel like the foster care system, and that's not a popular mission. People always choose. They're always doing world hunger, which is good, too, of course. But I feel like it's the same couple of Stand Up To Cancer, No Kid Hungary, which are good organizations. I'm not saying anything, but it's the same ones that always get the PR on these. They get a lot of love. I don't see anyone really sticking up making their cause It's like adoption in the foster community. I was about to be really excited, but maybe they just took it a little far.

Their live adoption.

It's wild.

It's so crazy. It's like, do they already know who's Who have they all met?

Or is it like they bring a bunch of orphans and they're like, Oh, pick me, pick me.

And it turns into Annie.

Does an orphan feel like a slur?

It's an outdated term because there are no more orphanages.

Right, but what do you call somebody who's in- A foster child. Oh, oh, oh, oh.

But not because orphan is a slur, but just because there's not orphanages. There's foster homes.

I don't know why it just... It's a word that gives me a pet.

It's sad because it's a sad situation.

Let's look past the live adoption. If we can, for a moment.

Then there was that horror movie, The Orphan.

Of course, that one really stuck with me. Oh, my God. I went to a sleepover and I came back like, not the same.

Yeah. Okay, I will do my best to push past the on-air adoption. One thing- By the way, if I do wind up watching this, I know for a fact that will make me cry. Of course. That will have the impact that it's intended. There's something really sad about it.

It's crazy. It's exploitative.

It's exploitative.

The one thing that the cable networks really do write is who they tap for holiday specials. They don't give them out to just anybody. I think one that comes to mind was most recently, Kelly Clarksons on NBC. It was seriously a work of art, and she had Ariana Grande. I'll never skip that on TikTok. Keep the mistletoe 'cause what I know is what I need. Oh, Santa, won't you hear me? Like, obsess the The Glam, the backup singers. It was magic. We were watching it, we knew it was going to go down in history, and it did. I think it's something the cable networks really get right. They put a lot of budget towards these types of things. I think Josh Groban is a perfect person. I think holiday specials on cable is really where you separate the people who can sing from the people who can't sing. Because there's a lot of people in this industry who are super famous who literally can't sing, and they're not getting special. So the Josh Groban, the Jennifer Hudson.

They get a lot. They get a lot given that. But this is for the This is for the singers.

This is for the singers. It's like the David Foster type of people.

And also for the people who love the holidays. Josh Groban does have a holiday album. It's very old, but it's very good. It's one of the best. It's one of the great.

Somebody should give David Foster a holiday special. It's David Foster and Friends because there are so many girlies who...

Let me tell you, David Foster is always doing David Foster and Friends.

Yeah, he is on tour doing David Foster and Friends. But I mean, if a network would give him a holiday special where he could bring out, obviously, Catherine McFee, Céline Dion, one of his is Michael Bluebley. Okay, fine. All of the people he helped make famous, Pia Toscado.

He would just produce the whole thing.

Yeah, and he plays piano the whole time and tells stories and then brings out. I think that would be great.

He does that literally every night of his life. In his house. He just had his birthday party, and that's what he did for his, I think, 70th birthday at the Hollywood Bowl. It was David Foster and Friends.

Back in the day when they did it, Yolanda threw a holiday party, not a holiday party, a dinner party.

Oh, right. And that's, by the way, I'm about the Yolanda literal dinner parties that we saw. I'm saying he's always at an outdoor concert venue.

No, and now, knowing what we know, at the time, it was really weird that Yolanda invited everyone over and was just showing off her husband, and they pulled this piano out from their asses and brought it to the dinner table, and everybody was like, This is nice but weird. But now, knowing what we know about David Foster, it's actually not weird at all. That's clearly how he gives and shows love.

Yes, 100%, and that's what he should be doing with his gift.

1,000%. I would implore a network to tap him. He's good. I'm just trying to think of other people who I think are deserving of these types of specials. The streamers do it well, too. I'm really excited for Sabrina Carpenter. It's different. I think the cable ones are just really... They're nostalgic a little bit. Casey Busgraves was great. Sabrina Carpenter, I think, will be good.

Because also there's something live about them. The other ones are so highly produced. You could have a million takes. They're perfect to a T. Very lovely. But there's something just more real and raw about these as there is because it's just live.

We're raw dog in it. This is CBS's. I'm sure NBC will have one. It's their thing. I'm curious who they'll be tapping.

It should be Kelly again. We can never have enough Kelly.

It should be Kelly again. Did you see the Kelly's taking the internet by storm? She does her Kelly-yokey's, and they're always extremely well received. But every now and then, You call me again.

Something pops off bigger than that.

Something pops off. Did you see she covered, Please, please, please by Sabrina? She gave it like... It sounds very different. A little bit country, almost, and people are dying for They say it's better than the original. Oh, wow. That's the Kelly Oakey that's taking the world by storm this quarter.

Go, Kelly, go.

Go, Kelly, go.

I love to see her achieve greatness.

I think Josh Groban will be great. I'm not familiar with his holiday music, but he will- Yes, you are.

If you looked at the album cover, it raised us, Claudia. Go look at it.

Okay. Would you consider You raise me up to be a holiday song? He'll definitely sing it, right?

I mean, if you put a little Jingle Bell in there, anything could be a holiday song.

Okay, let me look up Josh Groban holiday.

It's called Noel. Oh, I definitely- You know that picture. You know that.

Oh, my God. This picture-Petit Papa Noel. Oh, his little drummer boy and his Silent Night. Yeah, no, by the way.

And also, he has a version of I'll be Home for Christmas That has servicemen and women talking to their families on the phone. Try not to cry. Okay, by the way- Try not to cry.

When you were reading the sentence about the alive adoption, I thought what you were going to say is that they had a foster children's choir. I didn't know. A choir of foster children from maybe the Boys and Girls Club or something. That's what I thought it was, and I loved that. My idea is better.

Honestly, David Foster should be the one doing the Christmas drive for the foster children.

I wonder if Josh Gurban is adopted. Why this is a cause particularly near and dear to his heart.

I don't know. He said he's honored and excited to host a show with friends, old and new, to celebrate the unity and togetherness of the holidays. It's especially important because it will spread the importance of adoption and will feature the most incredible kids.

I actually ended up on an adoption talk.

Oh, no.

Jackie, it was the craziest place I'd ever been. I ended up following the journey of this girl who she said she wasn't adopted. She was kidnapped from her home country, and she's here in America. She's currently being kidnapped.

How old is she?

I would say 22.

She's making the video?

Yeah, she's talking. She's like, Hi, I'm Blank. She's getting adopted? No, she was adopted as a kid, and she said that that adoption was a kidnapping. Oh, my Gosh, I thought you were saying- And she's now being held in this country against her will.

Okay. I thought you were saying you were getting served videos of children's stories of adoption. No, no, no. Oh my God. I was like, would be bawling.

She was adopted by a family who wanted kids, and I think she was available as a baby. She says she's very against adoption. That's when I knew I was spending a little too much time on TikTok.

I'm going to need more information before I comment.

I'll send you the videos once I see them.

Now she's 22.

She's a grown person, but she's advocating against adoption because she's currently a victim of kidnapping.

Well, she should advocate against kidnapping.

She wasn't kidnapped. She was adopted.

Where It was a legal adoption, but she's very anti-adoption because she says it's a modern day kidnapping. Okay. Okay. Okay. That's... Okay. No, there There are a lot of issues with the system. Of course. I hadn't considered that to be one of them.

That's actually what Demon Copperhead really opened my eyes to, the system.

Yeah. The system is broken, honestly.

Now, what's not broken is our spirits because while it's Friday, we have so much to look forward to. We also have Queenie and Weanie of the Week, which is our weekly segment, where we just like to wrap up the week in a little bit of a bow, take a look at the week at a glance, and give out two awards, Queenie of the Week and Weanie of the Week. They're pretty self-explanatory. If you acted like a queenie this week, you might win of the Week. If you acted like a big weanie this week, you'll probably win Weanie of the Week. Jacks and I both nominate two people. Feel free to nominate your candidates in the comments. Would you like to get us started?

Yeah, I only have a weanie. Maybe we can put ours together and have joint nominies. But my weenie, and it's light fair because everyone behaved this week, I felt.

It was a very low-key week.

So of everything that we discussed and that we saw, I thought the one exhibiting the most weenie behavior was Zoe fineman.

You know what? When I was searching for Queenie and Weenie, she did come across my desk as a potential Weanie candidate. It seemed harsh because- It's just textbook Weanie, just Weanier behavior.

Like, harmless, but Weanie.

Yeah, harmless, but Weanie.

She's been posting follow-up videos that are just not- A little cringe. Not doing what she thinks that they're doing.

Yeah. The weeniness comes from the fact that every time she posts something, she thinks it's a slay, and it's not because she posted I had a rebuttal being like, Everybody in my comments saying X, Y, and Z. Like, thanks for the engagement. I needed it. This algorithm is tough.

It's like, That's really not a serve. By the way, you just said that in 4 seconds, and her video was like 40 seconds. There was a lot of slowness and not Words.

My Weaning of the Week, because when in doubt, Ruffalo out. My Weaning of the Week is Mark Ruffalo. He didn't do anything particularly this week besides- I'm sure he did.

Being himself. I'm sure that he actually did, and you just don't follow him. But let's take a look at his pages.

Yeah. I don't need to because I don't need to look because I know.

Like the page itself.

Mark Ruffalo definitely did something really weaning like this week, and so he's going to get my Weaning of the Week. On a slow week, when in doubt, Ruffalo.

Love it.

Oh, my God, I don't want to be here. And Queeny. Queeny of the Week, did you say you didn't have one?

I did not have one. No one really shined this week. To me, I think that my title holder is going to stay Brianna Chicken Fried.

She did have a good week. She's She's coming back. She's making content. She's back in the city.

She's still exhibiting Queeny behavior. This is when she needs us, by the way. She's rebuilding her life. She said in her video, she's losing money right now. People think Dave just gave her $10 million. She needs us. And so in the absence of anyone being more a queenie, she will remain the title holder.

I like that. I was also, I think, when in doubt, when you don't have a queenie, it's always good to nominate ourselves. I did great work this week. I'm a queen. I agree.

I made hamburger meatballs. I'm the inventor of hamburger meatball.

I was everything to everyone in my life. I was a good sister, a good daughter, a good friend, a good wife, a good daughter-in-law, a good podcaster, a good creator. I don't see why not, honestly.

No, I completely agree.

It's good.

You, me, and Mrs. Brie. Period.

That's our show. That's the week. Hope everybody had a good week. Hope you were able to get merch. I know a lot of people get paid on Friday, so they wait till Friday to get merch. The store is still open. We'll probably leave it open throughout the weekend, so you can get... It's pre-order. It's 4-5 weeks till it chips, but that means everybody can get what they want in terms of sizing and amount. So shoptoastmerch. Com. You can look at our Instagram for different pictures. Jackie and I wear a size medium and everything. Everything runs really true to size, although I would recommend sizing up for if you want an oversize crew neck.

Today's the ultimate pay day because it's Friday, but it's also the 15th because sometimes you get paid on a Friday, but in other jobs, you get paid on the 15th. Everyone's getting paid today.

Yeah, the 15th is also the day that American Express bills are due. That's what I think of. Not to be such a downer.

Not you at the American Express. Or do you mean American Express?

It's not really like a sleigh. There's a bunch of different American Express cards. Some of them are even free. I don't even have a big fancy one. No, I'm sorry.

American Express is such a sleigh.

If you are even remotely in tune with what's cool in the points world, you definitely have a gold American Express. It's $99 a year and completely worth it. Yeah. That's what Brian says. If you eat a lot and you drive, me. You need the gold card. A lot of people think the platinum one, and it's really pricey, and they're like, Oh, well, it's platinum. It's better. It's actually not. That's the biggest life hack from Brian. I canceled my platinum, and I went gold.

Go for the gold turdy. Yeah.

That's our show. That's our week. Hope everybody enjoyed every minute of it, every little second. Thank you so much for listening to the test on the morning share. We till the Fastest Story. See me soon. It's on Friday on YouTube. So if you're watching this on YouTube, please, please, please, please.

Feel free.

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Love you. Bye.