Transcript of Raw Dogging the Ancient Texts: Tuesday, July 21st, 2026

Good morning, girlies, it's The Toast.

It's Jackson, Claude, and we're your hosts. It's your favorite show, the fast 5 things you need to know.

We'll start your day off swirly, it's The Toast.

I sound amazing.

Welcome back to The Toast and happy Tuesday. Hope everybody's having a great day. Speaking of greatness, greatness, Jacqueline Valet, greatness.

I agree. Hey, Turtalo.

How you doing, Alu?

I'm doing good on Tuesday, Alu.

Yes, you are, Alu.

The Turtalo on Tuesday, Alu. Title, early title.

Hopefully that's not the only thing that comes out of today's episode.

Who knows? But you know, just note it.

I hope everyone's having a great Tuesday. It is our first Tuesday Back to our regularly scheduled—

it's not our first. No, we did it last week.

Time's just flying by in swirly summer. Oh, okay, so everybody knows that Deer Toasters is today.

It's back to Tuesday. Yeah, yeah. And we are going to do Deer Toasters today. I don't know why we wouldn't.

Why are you saying that?

Like, I don't know if something would happen that we wouldn't, but I don't think so.

Are you planning on like staging some sort of like walkout?

No, no, no. I feel open towards Deer Toasters today. Like, I feel like I can accept helping the community. And provide my services.

I do.

How do you feel? Your hair looks beautiful.

I got a blowout yesterday. If you saw Jackie and Ben playing mahjong without me, uh, it's because, yeah, I got a blowout. I went to like a local salon. I just like can't do my own hair in the summer. It's so hot. I get like so overstimulated. So I wore my hair like naturally yesterday. I took one look at myself on the podcast and I went to my local salon and I got a blowout. Yeah. And I like read my book at the blowout.

I was like, what are you reading?

I was giving just like woman in a novel, you know? Yeah, I'm reading a book. I went to a local bookstore. I'm shopping a lot of local recently recently. I went to a local bookstore and I was just looking for like a book and I bought one. It was just kind of crazy.

Like, I tried to read the title from your—

it was called like The Martha's—

The Martha's—

The Martha's Vineyard Book and Bunch Club or something.

I don't know.

Um, it's a, you know, two-timey tale. She shows up at this woman's house on Martha's Vineyard and all of a sudden we're learning about the family who lived there during the war. Um, it's fine.

You just like judged it based on the title and the COVID 1,000%. Okay, that's good. Let us know how it goes.

And it's like a very small indie bookstore, cuz like I said, I shop local.

It wasn't Barnes Noble?

No, it was a Sag Harbor Books. Oh yeah, I went to a— like I said, shopped local. Did you not hear that part?

Well, there is a local Barnes Noble.

That's like shopping local at a big box retailer. I would never do that. I went to a local store and it's like really small, and so like the section of like swirly books was about 5 books long. Um, and I felt that if they were putting it out, it's like kind of a storied— it's like local bookstore, like it was an endorsement of the book. So this shit better be good.

Yeah, for sure. And you could also like ask your local bookseller like for a recommendation.

Okay, so I could, but I couldn't find her. And then when I found—

what are you gonna say? I like smut?

Well, no, there was a ton of smut. Like, I wasn't looking for smut.

I'm not afraid to show it.

I was gonna like chat with her, and then she like ran into somebody that she knew And I got the sense that there was like a deep backstory with the person that she knew, 'cause it was like, it was so awkward.

It was probably like the beginning of her own book.

Yes.

Like, it was so awkward. Seeing her long loss.

I forgot her name, but they were like, Rachel? It was literally out of a movie. And you could just tell like these two had definitely beef from high school. So I just like, you know, I did my apple pan, I went on my merry way, and now I'm reading this book with the smallest font ever. It's giving me a headache and I'm on page like 20.

That's like the beginning of Whistler, the book we just read for the Redheads. They're like at the Met and she runs into an incredibly significant figure in her life.

I don't know if this person was significant, But there was a story there, and who knows, the rest is still unwritten. It's actually currently being written, if I, if I think I know what I know.

Um, good thing you didn't get in the way of that.

Well, that's what I'm saying. So I just sort of put myself, as I always do, behind, like, as number 2 priority. And yeah, so I'm just like reading a book. I left my Kindle in the city, so like I've just been raw dogging it with some texts, the old, the ancient texts. Not loving it.

Yeah, yeah.

Paperback or you go hardcover?

Oh, I guess like hardcover is nice because it doesn't always like close on you, but it is heavy. But like, I'm not traveling, it's also more expensive.

Oh, I have my book with me, I am traveling, right?

Cardboard.

Did I show you guys my blow dry was $85 yesterday?

Oh yeah, which I feel like was like a fair price for a blowout in the Hamptons.

Yeah, right, it's not a big deal because you have to remember you're in the Hamptons, so like things that are normally $10 are 15 here, so more. Yeah, like I would say A Blood in the City is like, you know, 60. So 85, it's fine. I wasn't thrilled, but it's fine. Plus tip. Um, The Martha's Vineyard Beach and Book Club, so that's a good—

so cute. Kids?

No, they're like 4 sisters, like living in wartime, I think. Actually, I don't know, I haven't gotten to that.

Oh yeah, they're, they're young women.

I haven't even met 4 girls yet, so I actually don't know.

So you barely started the book.

You know, I'm literally 5 pages.

I can understand why you picked this up.

This is very cute, and it's paperback, which I don't normally go for paperback, but there's something so— oh, did you see that? My local— morning soldiers came to the phone. Jackie Luck, did you see my local bookstore gave me a complimentary, um, bookmark?

No.

Oh, because I shopped local, you guys. That's why. What does it say?

It doesn't say Barnes Noble.

It doesn't say Barnes Noble. What does it say?

Um, it says Sag Harbor Books. And yeah, it's a good time to let you know today's episode is brought to you by Sag Harbor Books. Text them.

For what?

They want you to text them photos of your books.

Oh, but they're social.

Oh, cute. Take a picture of me and I'm literally going to text it to them.

Give me the book. Should I pretend to be reading it or should I just like hold it up?

Hold it up. A couple.

Let's send them options and I will have to like Facetune them, so just hold on. Okay.

Okay, now pretend to be reading it.

Okay. You can see the COVID Yeah.

Titillating.

I mean, let me do like a shocked one.

Hold on, you guys, monitor.

And I'm gonna—

there's so many shows to see if Claudia made it because I bet a lot of people don't send the text, you know. No, no, you didn't even know that it said that.

Yeah, so I mean, they're always like mining for content, like the Redheads. And that's why it's so important to shop local. That's what I'm always saying.

They should collab with the Redheads.

Absolutely. Live podcast episode in their store.

That would be amazing.

It's really small, but the Redheads are really small.

Small but mighty. It's true. But we do have a lot of hosts.

I didn't mean that you have a small audience. I meant that like physically you're all really small. No, there's 4 of us.

We take up space. It's true.

It's important to take up space with your mystery podcast.

Yeah, we definitely take up space. Um, while you were doing that, I Siamese Mahjong with Ben yesterday, which is two-person Mahjong, which we always say, like, when nobody else wants to play Mahjong, we're like, does anyone want to play two-person? And Ben and I finally did it yesterday. We brought the table outside. More on that later. We—

yeah, they brought my Mahjong table, my tiles, my racks, my mat. They brought it outside, left it there overnight. It is now covered in bugs and soaking wet.

So yeah, that happened.

Nobody brought it in, and I knew you fucking— between you and Ben, like, if I marched with you, it would have been on me to bring it inside because I wasn't there.

So Ben brought it outside, like, and— but I endorsed the idea, so— but it was like his idea. He actually physically carried the whole table, and then we didn't bring it back inside. We thought we might like play more. It was amazing. We loved like 2-player. It was a beautiful day yesterday. We had music going, and so we were like, let's leave it in case anybody else wants to play or we want to play again. And then yeah, then the evening came and went, and it was still outside. Zach and I went to dinner last and when we came back, I was like, let's bring the table inside.

It's nice that you had like the thought to do it.

Of course, you didn't see it.

That was this morning. I thought that was this morning.

No, no, that was last night. We brought it into the house and there was a bunch of ants on it, and I'm like, I'm not gonna bring all these bugs into the house. Like, let's leave it right outside the door, we'll clean it off tomorrow. But overnight it did get wet from the dew.

Maybe it rained overnight.

I don't think it rained. I think it was like, you know, it's misty.

Moisture.

It's very moist environment here.

Yeah, lots moisture.

So I'll have to deal with that when we get home.

Yes, you will. Mm-hmm. Well, we actually have like a lot to do today, and now that we've sort of handled the social media for the local bookstore, I think we could have it.

I guess we could dive in. I guess so.

Anything else?

No, I think that's all for me. Great. Without further ado, it is time for the Fast Five Stories that you do need to know.

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Thank you, Turdy.

You're welcome.

Our first story is a major, major news, like major news for the Toast. For people who have been following this closely, I feel like it slipped under the radar, but I'm not going to let it. Aaron Rodgers has reunited with his family after years-long estrangement.

So anyone who watched JoJo's season of The Bachelorette, like, this is huge.

This is huge. We've all sort of accepted the fact that Aaron Rodgers doesn't talk to his family, and I think like maybe at a point in time, like, why would we care what like one random football player does with his family?

But then when his brother like shot to fame as Aaron Rodgers' brother, um, and then the two were— he wasn't on the hometown date, and then we were like, do you guys even talk? And then there was like low-key like drama. Then we were like, oh, this is more interesting. A lot of time has passed to the point where like I don't really care anymore, but I always love to see families being reunited.

And it has—

although Jordan was noticeably absent.

Jordan was absent, but they also have like a new baby and they live not— they live in Puerto Rico.

What?

I'm pretty sure they live in Puerto Rico.

JoJo and Jordan.

Yeah, Jordan and JoJo. Yeah, so I think this would probably like mean like they're next, but definitely like there is a weakness.

I think that of all like the relationships that were broken between Aaron and his family. Like, the one with Jordan was definitely the worst.

I don't know why, but it just was because it went public, right?

Like, Aaron was the only public figure in the family, and then when there was another one, like, of course, like, competition or whatever, even though there was like never a competition, but it became more— I think that he was estranged from his family for years. Nobody knew until he went on The Bachelor. Yeah, it like blew the whole thing up.

Yeah, it really did. And it's just like a very strange situation that we have two famous Rodgers brothers and never the twain shall meet. Never the twain shall meet. So anyways, Aaron posted on Monday a bunch of photos of him with various family members who he had fallen out with, like his mom and his dad. And I think there's a brother—

there's a brother, Luke, who's like always— and he's really close with Jordan and JoJo.

Yeah, so he seems like, like the neutral third party. And he, um, captioned the carousel saying, another bonding week, hashtag fam.

I mean, like, it's so great, obviously, but I do think it's weird that like you're reuniting with your estranged family for the first time in a decade and you're like taking pictures for social media, especially when you're not like an influencer, you're Anne Rogers.

You don't post a lot. That fact that you let us know that you're bonding because there is like beef there, it's really weird social media behavior from somebody who doesn't really, you know, keep up with us on Instagram. I'm grateful for the transparency. I'm excited for Margot Walsh because this is her Roman Empire, like the Rogers family drama.

At the time, like, you really had to be there, you guys. It was— I'm sure you were there. It was so crazy. Like, we all slowly put the pieces together because he came on, and it was rare back in the day that like somebody went on The Bachelor who was like even remotely wealthy or famous. Like, they were all just regular people. That was the allure of the show. So for someone to come on whose brother was like a football player— because some people have like football players and you've never heard of them— like an actual superstar.

Yeah, like the biggest football player.

And then we were all freaking because I think a lot of us knew he was going to win or he was going to go far. They had like an instant connection. We were like, oh my God, the hometown dates, like we're gonna get Aaron Rodgers, and then he wasn't there, and people were like, well, he's in the NFL. Like, no. And we all slowly uncovered that like these two fucking hate each other.

Yeah. And it's like, was it Olivia Munn's fault, right?

Oh, they did blame Olivia Munn. Meanwhile, she's been out of the picture for many years, right? He's had like 3 long-term relationships since then, and it didn't get any better. But of course, blaming the woman. I probably blamed her at the time.

It probably started with Olivia, like, you know.

Yeah. I also feel that like, for a while, Olivia Munn had like a kind of murky Q score. And I think obviously like the John Mulaney thing made it murkier. It got worse, but then it got better. Like, I do think she's very well-liked now, and she's on a really popular TV show, which always helps. I feel like she's in a good place now. I feel like for a couple of years, like, people didn't like her, you know, because she like stole her man, right?

Anne-Marie?

Oh yeah, yeah. But I'm saying before that, like, when she was just like sort of this like random celebrity, when she was dating Aaron Rodgers, and even after that, like, I feel like people just didn't like her.

Oh, I don't know. I think, I think she's like fine like any other actress, you know, or any celebrity that like—

but you know, they maintain that the timeline is clear—

are hard on. Yeah, this is all just coming back to me, you know.

Like, the Annamarie Tendler years were crazy.

Yeah, that was a crazy time.

But like, the thing is, is that they claim that they— like, it was definitely a tight timeline, but there wasn't overlap. They have two kids now. Like, we do have to move on. Although I do think that there are people who will always be at the restaurant. Like, their Roman Empire is Annamarie Tendler, because like, him and John— her and John Mulaney were like this. Artsy couple. People fucking love them. And they were all like, we are so cool, we're so happy, we're so successful, and we don't want kids. And everyone was like empowered by that. Cut to, they break up, 3 minutes later she's pregnant. Like, it was just such a shift. But you know what, they're so happy together.

Oh, and they're OTP, 1,000%.

And like, his comedy is so much funnier. Yeah, now that he has married into, um, like an Asian family. Yeah, he does like almost all of his comedy is about her family because I think her mom lives with them, and now he's like raising mixed kids, and it's just really funny.

Yeah, no, they're like— they're set.

I'm a thousand—

I would be shocked if they broke up in a while. I don't even associate her with Aaron Rodgers anymore. It doesn't feel like the same person.

I think of, of course, Miss Shailene and even Danica.

I do think of Danica.

I think of Danica.

It's been decades.

Yeah, I think she's married. I think that was like the worst time of her life, being with Aaron Rodgers.

Danica, Shailene, Shailene. Sad. Well, oh no, but Aaron Rodgers is married now.

Is he?

Yeah, he's married now.

He had like sort of like a Britney, like, head shaving kind of year, sort of.

But I think that's just Aaron.

A thousand percent.

He's married now, so maybe his new wife is just being Aaron. Maybe his new wife has brought him back to his family.

That's always good. Yeah, a good woman will do that.

Yeah. So I'm ready to see JoJo and Jordan and the baby and Aaron. Yeah, whenever they're ready.

Yeah, that'll be the final bridge to bend.

Yeah. Are you ready for our next story? Tom Brady is being weird. He's in talks.

I just have to say, I'm sure I've said it, I hate him.

So Tom Brady like was making news over the weekend.

I didn't mean to bring it up, but like it was like a staged viral moment between him and Logan Paul, and like people were like, is this real? And I will say, like, as somebody who's pretty good at like deciphering whether something's AI or whether something's a prank. It was good acting, so I could see why the first video of Tom Brady slapping Logan Paul at the Fanatics Fest went viral. It did look a little real, but I'm just smart enough to know that like Logan Paul does everything as a stunt. And like Tom Brady, they were at like at a Fanatics event on stage, like it was obviously staged.

And then at the World Cup, another fake video went viral. But no, but like it was a real video, but like I guess they were like arguing, they were like giving each other the finger from like various suites at the World Cup.

Turns out he might be joining— Tom Brady might be joining WWE, which Logan Paul is already in. And this is like, you know, their big rivalry.

Yeah.

Now I just don't know why you would go and be doing all of that. Like, if I'm Tom Brady, first of all, I do think that like my legacy has been tarnished a little bit just by like the Gisele and, you know, retiring and unretiring that like he is a little bit of a joke and he tried to undo it with the roast and it just made it worse. I do think like just taking— like I said, like taking a break is always good. Tom Brady is doing the most. He has so much money. He does not need to do this. People go to the WWE like who are already famous. Some people get famous from the WWE. Some people go to the WWE for other— I think it was a great move for Logan Paul. Like, it's a real, like, legitimate platform, and he brought all these young fans, and Prime is like now the hydration. I totally get why he did it. Yeah, a great partnership. Why, like, the world's most prominent athlete would do that, I don't— I actually don't know what he stands to gain from it like that he doesn't already have.

Exposure, he's got it. Money, he's got fame, he's got kids. Like, I think kids are now obsessed with Logan Paul, like young kids, because the WWE, sorry, like, you know, it has a lot of young kids. Those people are already obsessed with Tom Brady. Like, what are you doing?

I know, I think it could only really be about money.

Midlife crisis.

Midlife crisis to bring you to the WWE. Like, that's not really a, a, a route, because if you're midlife, I don't know that you want to go get slammed at the SummerSlam.

It's fake.

No, but it's hard on you.

You've not been to the SummerSlam.

It's hard on your body.

Did you hear what I just said?

You've been to the SummerSlam.

Did I tell you that before? Do you know that?

I know everything about you. What, you went to a SummerSlam one day and I didn't know you went there?

Yeah, like we were like invited with like a, like a VIP group, and so we all had to like, we had to go in through the back, and I was with literally Macaulay Culkin and Brenda Song. Like, that was the VIP group, and like me and Ben were freaking out. And then we got seated like behind this, um, like this huge guy, and these people kept coming up to this guy. Like, it was basically like if we went to a kosher restaurant, like people coming up to him like, man, I love you, I love you. And I was like, who the fuck is this guy? His name is Action Bronson. I had to like Google him. Do you know him? Yeah, you do?

Of course.

How do you know Action Bronson?

Everyone knows Action Bronson.

I think it's Bronson.

No, Bronson. Bronson.

Like, seriously, I'm shocked.

It's just like a name that you know.

He looks like Teddy Swims.

Yeah, but that's just a name that you know.

It's a name that you know. I didn't know it.

Yeah.

And had I not sat behind him, I never heard his name again. Had I not sat behind him at the WWE SummerSlam, which yes, I went to and I bought like a fake belt, I have it somewhere, I never would have heard that name before. I can't believe you know him.

Yeah, you like see it found people.

Jackie, he must have like a huge overlap with the WWE audience. They were—

I think he's like WWE.

No, he's a rapper, like a singer. What is he not?

I don't know, I just know his name. And because you saw him at the SummerSlam, I just assume he's a rapper, chef, television host, and bestselling author.

Oh, Ben should have connected with him. Oh my God, all that to say I've been to the SummerSlam.

Fracking up that he's a rapper. Yeah, I knew that.

Yeah, sure. I've been to the SummerSlam. Just, I feel like, like, people don't know that about me.

You're like an onion, like we're peeling back layers. It's true. Um, so yeah, I think this is like an L for Tom Brady in this series of L's that are so unbelievable that I actually don't believe it.

Like, not believable.

Yeah, I think like Dave Portnoy went on a rant about how like he's tarnishing his legacy. And like, he is, you know.

Uh, oh, you know, Dave Portnoy's book was at this very small bookstore. I thought that was like kind of crazy. They didn't have a lot of celebrity biographies. Of course I went to that section first.

But he is like, you know, a Hamptons staple.

No, he's Nantucket.

No, isn't he in the Hamptons?

No, he's Nantucket. Everyone knows that. He bought like one of those.

Yeah, yeah. And then— oh, I thought he was like— I guess it's the same vibe. I would like— his book seems good. Things are keep coming out about it.

I know, I'm just like not in my memoir era.

I can't finish this Abigail Adams book for the life of me, and I have to.

Shocked.

Then you have to do the redhead. I have to do the redheads. What are we even— oh, we're reading a Margot book. That will be fun.

Oh, there was a redheads book at the local bookstore that I went to, Margot Scott Money Troubles, which I have been wanting to read because I do want to watch a TV show. But I was really looking for like a summer beach read, so when I saw the swirlies on the beach on the COVID of this book, I had to buy it.

Our next redheads book is like a summery— oh, Margot's Choice. It's called—

do you have a physical copy here with you?

No, but we could go to the bookstore. It's called The Shampoo Effect.

You actually might have to go to Barnes Noble if you're looking for something because like I'm telling you, this bookstore was really small and half of it was dedicated to like archives. They had like old textbooks and stuff in the back, so like half racks. Like, we're not even for us.

Got it, got it.

That's when you get— when you shop local, it's all curated.

Yeah.

Well, so yeah, Tom Brady, like, I am consistently confused by, and I actually feel like Alex Earle being seen with him is now bad for her. Like, he's so embarrassing.

And also it's like weird because they keep seeing each other, and it must be weird to keep seeing the person that you like hooked up with, that you maybe did or didn't hook up with. Like, the whole world thinks you hooked up, and like, it's just like you can't be seen with them because they definitely did. Viral thing.

But the last time they were together was at the July 4th white party, right? And there was like no news about them. He actually made news with Ice Spice. They looked like they were kissing, but they were apparently just sharing a vape. I do feel like she got the ick from him.

Yeah, but she's gonna see him like literally multiple times a month because she goes everywhere.

Because like he goes to all the places that she's at, which is just further proof that like he should show us what's wrong with what he's doing. Like, go home to your family. You don't have to get married, but like, you go home.

And he has jobs, like he broadcasting— does broadcasting.

He's invested in a lot of companies, has companies.

He has business, you know.

He's like, he's busy enough.

Like, go on Shark Tank.

Yes, that's a good call.

Yeah. Our next story: Real Housewives of Salt Lake City star Angie K and her husband Sean Trulio separate after 27 years of marriage.

People are freaking about this.

Yeah, I guess it is. They've been married for a very long time. They're relationship was like the subject of so many like rumors and nastiness on Real Housewives of Salt Lake City. They've always like, you know, risen above, maintained, and then I think things kind of died down for them. I didn't watch last season, but like they moved past all of the rumors and nastiness.

Rumors and nastiness.

And now they're separating. So like she didn't mark their 27th wedding anniversary last month, which I think is something she would do. Um, but multiple sources told Page Six that the longtime couple are no longer together romantically.

This does guarantee tea her like a spot?

I don't think she was like up for—

like, yeah, I think she's fine. She's a good housewife.

She is a good housewife.

Yeah, it's just always sad when like a 27-year marriage ends.

Like, what happens at year 27?

It's kind of a Copper's Bell Burden. Like, sometimes you just like have a midlife crisis, you wake up in psychosis. Like, there's a million things that could go wrong.

Yeah, but so I'm asking, what was the thing? Because it's not just like a—

and then you, you factor in Yeah, there were also rumors about him like at his salon, right? Yeah, so I— people—

so yeah, like something happened, whether it is like a psychotic break, whether it is an affair. Like, you don't just like make it work for 27 years, they have a 15-year-old daughter, and like now just—

and they're still together, which is like—

oh, now just decide I'm over it.

Yeah, this was a shock to the, to the community.

Yeah, it will definitely be a shock to Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, especially because They're pretty much all married.

Whitney, except for Heather.

But like, even Meredith, she's not on the show anymore, but like, though they've had their ups and downs, like, they've stayed together.

Lisa Barlow.

Lisa and John, an institution.

Just baby gorgeous.

That's your register, that song.

I think me— people say that to me all the time, that me and Lisa Barlow have the same register.

Like, I think that's— you should go on auditions with that song.

You're just Baby, I love how she rhymes just with gorgeous. You're just baby gorgeous.

You've never sounded better, really, than when you sing that.

Yeah, I wish I knew like one more line. Like, I just know that one.

Yeah, so crazy.

That is really crazy. I haven't been keeping up with The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City in a while.

I'm one season behind, so maybe in 3 years I'll watch it. Um, but it's really good.

100%.

It's good stuff.

I'm currently rewatching Mad Men.

I don't know if I should do that with the class, right? I didn't get into any more Off Campus.

Oh, tell everyone. Thanks for—

I'm glad you brought that up. I'm so uncomfy because I was watching Off Campus like in my bedroom at our house, um, on the owner's—

the owner of the renting house.

We're renting the house, and so I was watching on the owner's—

it was logged in already—

Amazon Prime. Yeah, like, because I don't want to go and log into every app, like code. I get a code.

What's my password?

Password, reset my password. Remember to log out before we leave. So like some of the apps he's not logged in. I guess I won't be watching Netflix this summer, but he is logged into Prime, so I watched On Campus on Prime.

And, um, as I told you guys, but she had to pause right before the big orgasm scene, right?

I paused there and I was like, we'll get back to it. And so yesterday I like went to go watch and it wasn't on continue watching, so I like, I, I thought me like, I don't know what happened. Sometimes technology, technology, or maybe he watched so many shows that it got like pushed back. So I searched it and it came up and like then I saw that all the episodes had been watched.

So it can mean a lot of things. I just wanted to— maybe like removed it from his continue watching. I think you can do that.

Okay. Um, or he like was like, oh, what's the tenant watching?

And open it to the orgasm.

Open it up to that scene where like they're in his bedroom. Yep. And so I just am so uncomfortable.

She has like a really negative association to the show.

So then yesterday afternoon I tried to watch it and I couldn't like think of anything. I was just—

why don't you take some time?

I was just watching it all through like the Hooters.

Yeah, right, right, right.

I couldn't, I needed a break. Yeah, it's like kind of ruined for me. But like, I don't know what happened. My working theory is like he pressed play like to see what the tenant was watching, like saw him.

I think that he was like, what is this corny ass thing? And my continue watching and just like remove. Or like he had no part in this.

Every episode when I go to watch it is at the end, is at the credits. Hmm. So I think he was like, what is my tenant watching? And he fell in love. He clicked on this corner and now he's like a Garrett Graham stan. Yeah, love that. Garrett Graham, Madame Marvel, Wicked Witch. Yeah. So it's just like, it's awkward.

Like, we don't know where to go from here.

Yeah, I'm just gonna give it time.

Yeah, of course.

But like, so that's why I haven't watched it more. Time does heal. Are you ready for our fourth story? A little new collab news. Olivia Culpo is launching a baby collection exclusively at Target called Piccolette.

Yeah, I'm sad as hell for this, although I did see something interesting, which I guess it's like not that interesting, but on their— on the brand's social media, they had like a bunch of, you know, content, and they did like a little explainer about the name. Um, and obviously Piccolette— Colette is her daughter's name— and then Piccolo, or we know from O Piccolo. That's what I'm saying.

We know from O Piccolo, that means like little.

So it's kind of like a similar name to Olivia Jade's. What is her—

O Piccolo?

Yeah, O Piccolo. She like dropped that and then like, do you think she's like—

she just kept it moving, right?

I love that.

I think she like really wanted to bring this product into the world. It's here, like we can use it, she can use it, moving on. Wimbledon, here I come.

I think she got like caught up in the tennis world.

Maybe, or maybe like she's working on something next. I think this is like a true case of like parallel thing. I mean, it is like anyone who would want to be like, she stole the name. Like, she didn't. Her daughter's name's Colette. Oh, Piccolo came out first. It means little. It's a cute word.

This is a collab between her and Target, right?

Yes, it's exclusively at Target, and it's like a brand of clothing. And, you know, I will say like Target kids clothes are supreme.

Like, if you're looking— whether— no matter the budget, I love that brand, Cloud Island. So I feel that any Target-endorsed children's, and then you put the Olivia Culpo on it. Like, this is just brilliant.

This is brilliant. She did like an interview with corporate.target.com.

Mm-hmm. Um, one of my favorite websites. I haven't caught up though.

And she's, when she's like explaining, like, you know, the, the, the meaning and also the purpose behind the brand. Like, she's firing on all cylinders. She said it was born of her first year of motherhood. I was in the very tender season of becoming a mom for the first time while also pregnant again. And I kept thinking about how sacred those earliest days are. Every little outfit becomes part of a memory coming home. That's true. The first photos, all these tiny, tiny moments you'll never forget. Before you know it, those small pieces are carefully folded away into a keepsake or storage bin. She said that she's collaborated with other brands in the past, but this one feels most personal. She's designed every piece with intention. It comes from her real life, her home, her daughter, and now her next baby. She said Target feels like a dream partner because it reaches so many families. As a new mom, I know how often Target becomes part of your daily life with everyday needs like diapers, wipes, baby basics, the things you need at the last minute. I love the idea that a mom could find something that feels boutique and sentimental but across the country at Target.

1000%. This feels very similar to, um, Sophia Richie Grange for Amazon, like Tastemakers making taste for children. Love. Need more celebrity baby brands.

Yes, yes. I think it launches on July 20th.

No, it launched. I was on the website yesterday, July 26th. I was literally on the website, but it says the launch is July 26th.

Maybe in store, maybe, because like I was literally shopping on it last night. Okay, well, I'm reading like—

that's just what— okay, but my lived experience, what— what— how do we factor that in?

And my red experience That's not a thing. My red experience, not a thing. Um, so yeah, super cute, like, for the baby world.

Oh, huge for the mama community.

Yeah. Are you ready for our fifth and final story?

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Today's episode is also brought to you by Roback. Let's talk about the category of outfit that is deeply underdiscussed, which is an outfit that can survive the entire day. Because like these days we're leaving the house in the morning whether we plan to or not, we're not getting back until dinner time. So if you're not dressing for one activity anymore and you want to dress for the possibility that your morning walk becomes errands, errands become lunch, lunch becomes playing pickleball, and then suddenly you're at dinner wearing the same thing and pretending that was the plan all along— that's why Roback has become such a staple for us. It's super cute activewear, but not in a where you look like you're aggressively training or anything like that. It's more sporty, put together. That's the energy we're trying to give. So the skorts, which are super popular, are great because they're very flattering. The waistbands are super comfortable. They give you a smooth, held-in feeling without being constricted or tight and annoying. The colors are also really pretty. They've got classic neutrals, fun summer shades that'll make your whole outfit feel just a little bit more styled.

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Thank you, T-U-R-T. You're welcome. Our fifth and final story is major news for Afterdale fans. Afterlife with Archie series from Riverdale team gets the green light at Disney Plus.

Afterlife with Archie?

Yes. So Disney Plus has ordered the series version of Afterlife with Archie comics. So I guess that's like a spin-off comic from the Archie comics.

I love those Archie comics. Like, they bring me such joy. We were obsessed with them as kids.

Yeah, we were.

You can still read like comic books these days?

No.

Like if you send your kid to camp, that's where we used to read Archie Comics all the time.

I'm sure they do. We were like so like kinds of comics, alt, like reading comic books. That's insane. We are so alt.

No, that was low-key very alt of us. We were not like alt kids that we read Betty and Veronica.

We were extremely different.

We had comic books. Yeah, that's crazy. Yeah, I feel like not a lot of people would think that about us, like a bunch of comic girls.

I feel like people would expect that we read Betty and Veronica. Yeah.

And are you more like a Betty or Veronica? Veronica? Like, whose side were you on? Not— okay, not who you think you are.

So like, Betty was of course like the better girl for Archie, but damn, she's like sort of homely, all-American, but like tried. But damn, she was annoying.

No, she didn't try. And that's the thing, like, I think Veronica was sort of villainized for like being this like sexy va-va-voom, like stealing Betty's man. But it's like, if I can steal your man, he was never your man.

Yeah.

And Betty just thought like her bangs were enough to carry her through, and they just weren't.

No, like her jovial energy. And like, yes, she is sweet, sure, but like Veronica's got rizz.

Yeah, and Veronica has curves. Like, she was a woman. Betty was just a girl.

Yeah, no, but like, Veronica's personality— maybe you don't like it, but it's something.

Yeah, I mean, it's— it's, it's no shock that it's been made into like movies and TV shows, because it really is like a tale as old as time.

It's a classic trope. It really is. Well, anyway, so there's a comic called Afterlife with Archie, and now they're set to be turned into a series at Disney Plus.

Okay, who's our young Archie? Um, I think it has to be like an unknown, but it is Ryder Ross. So it's the team who— from the team who brought you Riverdale.

Yes, the greatest show of all time. Brought you Riverdale. We're getting a Riverdale spin-off at Disney Plus. Like, sounds good to me.

I guess it's like, he crazy that Cole Sprouse was Jughead, you know what I mean? Yeah, he's so not.

Yeah, but he was.

But he was the only person on that show who was like known. The rest of the cast at the time were totally new and random, like KJ Apa. Yeah, but that was our Archie. He was so cute.

He's a good Archie, but he wasn't even a natural redhead.

So like, you really don't have to cast even a redhead, even though I would prefer if they went with like, you know, a natural rally. Yeah.

Also, Afterlife with Archie is like kind of like zombies.

Oh, you're kidding.

Yeah.

Oh, I'm out.

It's Afterlife. Yeah, no, I don't think I'm gonna be watching, but I'm glad that it's being made like for other people and that like kids these days will—

because I, I do think that like the comic book has gone the way of the horse and buggy, and kids these days like, they need to know about Archie and Betty and Veronica and even though like Riverdale wasn't close to the text at all because they had the same names.

They have Jughead and Betty, right?

Right.

So when it comes to Riverdale, like, I loved Archie.

Riverdale was such a good show until it wasn't such a good show, until they got like spooky.

They were always—

Dad was like the Black Hood. Yeah, it was like Lily Reinhart's dad.

Yeah, way to spoil it.

They lost the plot a little bit there.

That was the lot. Yeah, the first season was good, like who's the Black Hood?

No, and it was like, that's like, remember in Pretty Little Liars if it was like, hey, and then it was like, you know, Troy and Belisario's mom, like, yes, no, and like everyone was a— at a certain point they fucked it up too.

Yeah, no, what was the name of that like big ghoul in like the second season?

Was it not the Black Hood?

No, no, Black Hood was first season, they caught him.

Someone who was like terrorizing all the kids, it was someone's dad, like what?

Yeah, wait, season—

they got also like a little magical and and like spooky, and that's where they lost me. That's what it sounds like the new Disney+ show is.

Yeah, the villain was like this big, like it looked like almost like a tree, like it was a supernatural—

I must have stopped watching by then because I have genuinely no idea what you're talking about.

We had Hiram Lodge.

Hiram Lodge. Mark Consuelos.

Mark Consuelos.

Yeah. Are you ready for Dear Toasters, our final segment?

I think we need to rewatch Riverdale and start another Afterdale show. What? I know.

And then once a week we'll do a segment called Afterdale. Riverdale.

We rewatch Riverdale and then we rewatch Afterdale and then we do a podcast about that after Afterdale. We could also, just because they're doing this, we could do a podcast after Afterlife.

Um, I'm all set actually.

I'll talk to Ben. I feel like he's still pining for our Afterdale.

Well, he like loves those shows because we're watching Mad Men and he literally like shoots up in the middle of episode 6. He's like, Wait, the daughter, Sabrina the Teenage Witch. Ben is like the—

she—

the guy who is the creator of Riverdale, writer Ross, he also did Sabrina. Ben is his number one fan, like he loves his shows. He loved Sabrina the Teenage Witch. She was like, it's Sabrina the Teenage Witch!

Kiernan.

Kiernan. All right, let's dive into Dear Toasters, our weekly advice segment where every Tuesday Jackie and I try to help out our Toasters in need. We actually have two submissions today and an update from something we read last week. We love a quick turnaround. Thank you to write— to whoever wrote in and updated us. If you ever want to write in, deartoasters@gmail.com. Or head over to our website thetoastpodcast.com. Both methods totally anonymous. Hey guys, I've been on a couple of dates with this guy. He's done everything right, he's doing everything I said I wanted. After really 3 horrible dates, um, that I went on before him, I eventually let him come over. We started kissing. The problem is he produces so much saliva that my mouth is literally starting to fill up with his spit. I was gagging. I don't know how to tell him, so I just tried to kiss him less, ask him to slow down, and subtly got him to stop. Stop using so much tongue. It really didn't help though. Now I'm conflicted because he's giving me everything I asked for in theory, but I genuinely do not want to kiss him.

I kind of think that's a big deal, and it's not like he can really control how much saliva he produces. What do I do?

That is so difficult.

That is a thing people have, like saliva production overproduction.

I would love to know how old she is, the girl who wrote in.

Yeah, I would assume she's like late 20s just based on factors.

Yeah, because it's are you early 20s?

Like, are you trying to say like how desperate are you for a boyfriend?

It's like we have a long runway, like, you know, another guy will come. Yeah.

Or is this like truly the last ship out?

No, it's like the last ship out. And you do like him. Like, do we— is it a make it work moment?

I know.

Or like, you have to do it on your own life. Like, yeah, yeah.

If this is like a make it work situation, how— like, you need to have like a little bit of self-awareness. Like, I think sometimes a girl can afford to be picky and choosy and maybe like a little reckless in her decision-making when it comes to dating. And then a woman of a certain age, the biological clock is a real thing, like you can't afford to be so picky. Yeah, so I would do an audit on your personal life. Like, do you think that you have runway? How old are you?

Do not have runway.

Like, do you have a lot of dating success, or is it like, does a boyfriend come along every now and then?

You never like anyone and you finally like someone. Also, like, there are ways like to give him like dry mouth, you know, smoke some What causes dry mouth?

Hot. No.

Okay, what else? Um, because an Adderall— a stoner boyfriend, I guess.

I'm even like, a lot of drugs. Yeah. Um, I think it's more of just like an illness. I don't think you can like contract it.

Like, no, but like there are things that you could do that cause dry mouth. Like, they're negative things, but maybe we could give him dry mouth.

Okay, let's see.

That's like really, really dehydration.

So you could just like hide all the water bottles.

I don't want him to be dehydrated. That's also—

it's like usually— oh, antidepressants, antihistamines. Antihistamines and blood pressure drugs. Like, we're not—

histamines—

who's gonna fall asleep on the date?

Antihistamines? No, you need an antihistamine.

Um, or mouth breathing. So maybe you could like plug his nose at night.

Sounds like he's like well hydrated, not on medication, not using drugs. Maybe you're just used to like kissing like medicated druggies.

Can I say something? I feel though that like, unless it's like, you know, a faucet, which it's definitely not I feel like if you really liked him, like, you wouldn't even notice. Do you know what I mean? Oh, like, maybe like I would look a little deeper and think that maybe you don't like him because like this is kind of a— how do you notice this? Like, yeah, you're like, I think you're being dramatic when you say your mouth is filling up with saliva. Like, it's probably just like a really wet kiss.

Yeah.

And I think if you were really into him, like, you would like that. Like, that would be hot to you, and it's not. I feel like you just don't like him, but he's like a nice guy and you feel like you should.

Yeah, because he's like— you said he's great in the dates and it's all good and he's hydrated and he's not using drugs.

I think a personal audit is required here.

Yeah.

And also of your life and on your like pickiness, you know.

Is it always something with you and someone?

Right. Oh, it's so true. Is that what your friends are always saying about you?

Like, it's always something. Yeah. Because yeah, you can't date someone that you can't kiss, obviously.

Yeah, unfortunately.

But if you like really, really like—

and I feel like we're flexible, we like try to make things work.

Yeah. And I would just give different advice to the person based on their age. Sorry, it's true. That's the truth.

Hey Swirlies, my friend group has a habit of sending flowers whenever someone's going through something difficult or celebrating a major milestone, and they always ask everyone to chip in. The problem is that when my grandmother passed away, when I had surgery, and when I graduated with my master's degree, the same friends who all knew what was happening never organized flowers or did anything similar for me, but they asked me to chip in for flowers for other friends in the exact same situations. Now they're asking me to contribute again, and I'm struggling because it feels like the expectation to give is one-sided. Am I being petty for not wanting to keep pitching in, or is it reasonable to step back after feeling overlooked multiple times.

So she always sends flowers for everyone.

The friend group, they just have this thing where they send flowers, and she always does it for her for 3 different things now. Her grandmother passed, she got surgery, and then she got her master's degree. Like, 3 big things.

Yeah.

Um, yeah, that is really weird if it's like this thing you guys do.

So I would like tell them like, no, I'm going to do my own thing.

You don't want to be like so petty being like, well, you guys didn't send me flowers. Like, you sound like a 2-year-old. But like, no, it's— I'm all about fairness. I'm like, this is not fair.

Yeah, I would, I would just like opt out of this one in particular activity and And like, do your own thing. Send flowers to someone when you feel like they need flowers.

You want to—

yeah, if they don't ever send you flowers back when you think that you require flowers, like, then you can judge this specific relationship. But like, you don't— this doesn't need to be a group exercise.

No, but this is really sweet. Like, I feel like sending flowers is sort of like an old school thing, and that's really nice. Yeah, sorry that you're opting out, but it's nice.

But send your own flowers.

Yeah, you know, like, I don't know, but then that person didn't send you flowers. Do you know what I mean?

But do you want to do the right thing or not?

Right. And like, in this life, you can't always be doing tit for tat.

Is this occasion worthy of flowers? I feel like sometimes people like, let's send a group flowers, like when it's like, okay, like calm down, you know?

Yeah.

So this way you can be the judge of when you send flowers and when you don't. Yeah.

I just feel like if you excuse yourself, who individually is snubbing you? If you excuse yourself I feel like it's like a slow start, like being out of the friend group, do you know what I mean? Like, we all do this.

Sounds like you're already—

that's the thing, like you're not an equal member.

You're not an equal member.

That's a tough pill to swallow.

And I'm about equality.

What? Fairness reigns supreme.

I stand for equality 1000%. Sorry, sorry if that's controversial.

It kind of is.

So do unto others as you would have them do unto you. And do unto others as they have done unto you.

Slay, mama.

An eye for an eye.

Slay.

Flowers for no one.

All right, here's our update. I don't know if you remember last week, a girl wrote in and said that her husband told her to shut her fat fucking mouth in front of her daughters because he like came home in a bad mood. And we told her that like her man is low-key abusive and it's so not okay and he needs to be left alone more. Like, you need to stop hanging out with him. Like, go and walk through your daughter.

I saw a lot of people commenting like, you need to throw hands. Yeah, you should beat him up.

Here's what she said: I just wanted to say thank you for your honest input last week. I felt validated in my feelings, and you guys are right, my focus was on the wrong part because she was obsessed with being called fat. I'm like, can you call you fat? Like, anyway, after I was able to process and get my mind in the right place, I confronted my husband and I let it all out. It was not pretty. Although his words are forever ingrained in my brain, I think I can move forward and forgive him. Obviously that will be revisited if something like that happens again. My girls are so young, I don't want them living in two separate houses going back and forth, but I will not be raising girls who think that this is normal behavior. I appreciate being able to seek advice from two swirlies outside of my bubble. Thanks again, ladies. Enjoy your summer in the Hamptons. And you know what? That's what a committed woman she does. She speaks her mind, doesn't make any rash decisions. You have to look out for this kind of behavior. But like, no, of course you don't have to leave him.

Like, you have a family with him, and like, he is an asshole. And I think our advice of ignoring him more is good no matter what. Like, even if you guys work things out, it's always good. It's actually true. When I was getting married, like, a piece of advice one of my friend's mamas gave me, she's like, you have to ignore your husband. I ignore my husband 100 times a day. And I was like, really? That's so mean. She was like, ignore, ignore the calls, just ignore. And it's really good advice. Like, you don't need to be like up your partner's ass. So So I think that advice I would keep with you, but I am really proud of you. Like, I'm sure a lot of people be like, I would leave. Well, you know what, everyone says they're so big and strong, but at the end of the day, you have two kids and you're doing what's best for your family and you're speaking up for yourself. It's literally Khloé Kardashian, you're doing what's best for your family. Yeah, I'm doing what's best for my family. And I'm happy for you.

Yeah, I'm happy too. And it sounds like he apologized. Yeah, she didn't say he apologized, but she said, she said that she was able to forgive him, which I assume means there was also an apology.

Yeah, because if you're not sorry, I can't forgive you.

But— or it's like, I'm gonna forgive you for my own sake, to not hold on to this, which is also good.

Like, you want ever— you know, your daughters deserve a mom who's, you know, not full of resentment. Yeah, anger. So I'm proud of you.

And just like moving forward, keep it moving, keep it moving. Go and walk without him.

Without— when he comes home in one of those moods, just avoid like the plague. Listen, I feel like Ben could have written that about me. Like, I get in such bad moods, right? And I get in like— and I'm a great wife.

Like, I'm not equating me to this guy, but like, someone could take an isolated incident, right, where a thing that you said in like a moment—

oh my God, of rage—

and then they're like, it seems like a bigger statement on like you as a person. But it's like, no, that was an isolated moment. She's an amazing wife.

So this— I forgot to tell you this— this video of me went viral. Did you see?

Like, again?

Yeah, it was of me and Ben. Um, it's seriously so funny. Let me find it. Just hold on.

I need to see it.

And it's like of me being like mean to Ben. It has 1.4 mil.

Okay, ready?

Listen, someone took it from— it's from a Patreon video when me and Ben went to the farmer's market. And like, yes, this isolated incident, I look mean, and people in the comments are like, wait, she's so mean. But listen, he's trying a coffee.

Pretty good.

I'll give this, uh, 7 out of 10. And I'll give your posture a 3 out of 10. Is that not so fucking funny? Oh, that's what I mean when I say like sometimes— and the comments are like, mean girl gets the good guy. So the other one, the divorce came out of nowhere. Now people defending me in the comments, she made fun of him for something he can correct with 3 seconds. You guys are so dramatic.

That is so fucking funny. Leave her, bro. That's the truth. Like, that is the truth.

Like, that's funny.

No, but also it's like, yes, if you just—

I hope he finds better.

If you just saw that clip, you'd be like, wow, that's awful. Yeah, but like, no, I know you guys like offline, and when I tell you there's not two kinder, more generous people—

like, that is my sense of humor. Like, I poke fun.

That show, I want to see it. No, and it's also like, it's a bit like, it's just fucking funny.

Oh, and I was also on camera, so I'm like trying to make entertaining content, you guys.

Wait, wait, what is this account? I'm cracking up a bald woman who's running— change up her hair a lot? No, but it's not brown. Is she bald?

Yes.

A bald woman who's running out of Goodwill.

That's it. If you guys haven't seen our Patreon episode, that's when we did Headbands Patreon, um, where we try to guess the celebrities on our foreheads. It's so funny.

Wait, hold on, can I watch one more?

Okay, but like that, I want my phone back.

Okay. When my husband is on my last nerve but he's doing what I asks, so we'll keep him around.

I need another, um, sugar please.

Do you need more cream?

No, I need more sugar. You need more cream? I need another, um— yeah, it's all going viral. It's like not a big deal.

That's good stuff.

I know, I forget how truly hysterical I am.

Truly hysterical.

No one likes— the posture thing is so funny. Like, honestly, slay on my part. That's like a really creative and original, like Jab.

Funny. Oh my God, that's so funny.

That's not what your husband was doing. Back to the original poster.

Much like the bald woman who's running out of Goodwill, I didn't know that was happening.

That's what you missed.

Um, so yes, things can be— people can have moments. I agree. Hard to hear moments when you're like in a marriage with someone.

Like, they, they truly see the worst of you. Like, I can only imagine like what Ben has seen.

Um, as long as that's not like the leading and that there's good that way outweighs it.

There's a lot of good stuff here. There's good stuff here, right? That's your toasters, and that's our show. Thank you guys so much for listening to the Toast and Lenny Morning Show. We do all the fast 5 stories that you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube. So watching us on YouTube, please don't forget to subscribe and give this video a thumbs up. We're also available as podcast anywhere podcasts can be found, such as Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and YouTube, wherever you listen to podcasts. Find us at Toasty with 5 Stories. We are stunning and wickedly talented. We are. Hope you guys have an amazing day. Oh my God, Nana's having over 500 comments on yesterday's card. Where the hell are you, bitches? Every day you should be getting like 20.

Okay, let's do another one.

Okay.

If you made it to the end of this episode, comment a—

the book, because we did like a lot of book.

A book emoji.

A book emoji. Any one of your choosing. Okay. Love ya.

Love ya.

Bye.