Transcript of Andy Cortez Gives EXCLUSIVE Grand Theft Auto VI Details | Hour 1

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What a plot twist.

So have you ever heard of the game Grand Theft Auto?

Oh, I love Grand Theft Auto.

You mean GTA?

Sure. Did you know that there was a, or is, a Grand Theft Auto 5?

Yes?

Yeah, that happened like 10 years ago.

Well, would you be interested if I told you that Grand Theft Auto 6 is about to come out?

What?!

Say word.

Yep, that's right. GTA 6 is coming out. The trailer actually dropped, I think, yesterday.

Trailer.

And people, I mean, like, people are freaking out over this trailer because like you said, it's been how many years since GTA 5?

Over a decade.

Aren't there all kinds of NBA jokes? It's like, oh, we're really going to get the next GTA before Joel Embiid gets out of the second round, right?

Well, the, the joke usually goes something like, oh, unbelievable, we got a Knicks championship before we got GTA 6.

Yeah, right, something like that. So Grand Theft Auto, and correct me if I'm wrong, it started out as just a a game where you're stealing cars, right? Hence Grand Theft Auto.

You could always punch people too, I believe.

Right, but the crux of the plot was you're stealing cars, right?

There was no plot. Like, it was like, it was one of those bird's-eye view, and it was just like, hey, we need you to steal a red— well, it won't be a Pontiac, whatever, it'll be whatever they call a Pontiac. And like, okay, you go find the car, you rob it, you steal it, and you take it to a chop shop. It's like, okay, now you gotta go find a blue, and that was the whole game. And then over time it grew into this thing that had like a storyline and a plot and all that stuff.

Then you put in the cheat code and then a helicopter just appears right there.

Wasn't one year where it was like the plot was Scarface, right? It was, it was like it's taking place here, Vice City, right?

Vice City.

That was it? I got that right?

That's right.

Because I played Grand Theft Auto, but man, like, when did the first one come out? Probably like 20-some-odd years ago.

Like 1998, I want to say.

Yeah, 25-plus years. That's probably when I played, you know. All right, so GTA 6 is coming out. It's a really big deal. Andy Cortez is the host at Kinda Funny Games on YouTube. He also has the Kinda Funny Podcast. He covers video games. All right. And Andy, thank you for joining us. And you already got a sneak peek at GTA 6, correct?

That's right, Zaz. Yeah, it was my, it was a big invitation to go down to Scotland. It was a much more closed off event than all the other events I've been to whenever we go preview these video games. So it was, it was one of those like, holy, they're letting us in? Like, what the hell? Because they're, I mean, it's like, it's like trying to get into the Pentagon at Rockstar. It's just like one of the most closed off things ever. So it was a gigantic honor to be able to go to Scotland and check it out. I thought you go over to Scotland, not down to Scotland. Down.

How you going down to Scotland.

I wouldn't have said down.

Oh, I mean, it depends on what, like, hemisphere we're talking and things like that. So that's usually what I— talking hem—

this hemisphere.

Yeah.

Yeah. All right. Andy, don't let him box you in, man. It's all a construct. North, south, east. So who cares what, what way is up in space?

The Lord's hemisphere. I don't pay attention to any of it, guys. I just stick with what I'm, what I'm born with, you know?

Attaboy.

Put it on the poll, Juju. Can you go down to Scotland. Uh, Andy, how did you get this invite?

Um, okay, so it's a weird one. It's kind of a weird story, but whenever you go to these big gaming events, uh, and it's like, come preview this big next video game, we're, we're, we're over here, we're doing an event in New York, we're doing an event in LA or whatever, and it's normally about 30 to 40 people from all over press, and then the Twitch streamers, Instagram, you know, TikTokers, all that stuff. And this one was like a crazy closed-off event where only 4 streamers were invited. And then we were one of maybe 4 press outlets, which was freaking nuts. I just can't believe we had that level of access. We do a game show where we rip off the Family Feud. And I won one of the episodes and the reward was you'll get to go, you'll be the one to go preview GTA 6. And it was like, whoa, that's a really awesome reward. And so I won it. And then Rockstar saw the episode and then Rockstar, the developers, and then they hit up, um, my boss, Greg Miller. And we're like, we want you to come to Scotland. And also we want you to bring Andy because he won that game show.

And we really liked that. That was a lot of like, we thought it was really funny. So.

That is pretty awesome. So Andy Cortez, Kinda Funny Games, got to go to the Rockstar Games in Scotland and watch 3 hours of Grand Theft Auto 6 gameplay. Your first impressions of GTA 6 were what?

I mean, it's, it's freaking nuts. It's— there's a reason why Rockstar is who they are and why they are one of the highest grossing companies ever. You know, we're talking about nowadays it's a big success if a game sells 6 million copies, 5 million copies, and Grand Theft Auto 5 has sold 220 million copies, and Red Dead Redemption 2 has sold 80 million copies. Like, this is— it's a really, really big deal. And so being able to see—

Will this be the biggest game release ever?

Ever, ever, ever, ever. Absolutely. There's no doubt about it. And I'm sure their investors are extremely stoked about that because the game has been in development since probably right after their most recent game was being developed, Red Dead Redemption 2, which came out in 2018. So it's been, it's been in the oven for quite some time with thousands of employees and just an insane amount of budget. It's definitely going to make the most money and it's definitely the game that's cost the most to make.

Andy, we're down here in Miami, or up here in Miami maybe, I don't know, depending on what direction you're at. Over here in Miami, there you go. Everyone keeps saying that this game is super realistic. It's super realistic to Miami. I don't know, I know you've probably only seen a little bit of gameplay, but from what you've seen, is there constant construction and is traffic awful at all hours of the day? That's how I'll know it's realistic.

I mean, I would say the level of realism kind of comes from the The way that the just citizens in the world are reacting to you, that's where a lot of the budget goes to. And that's where a lot of the facade of a video game falls apart when you are playing a game and you're trying to be immersed and then you bust out a gun and then people just keep on walking by you like normal. But it like, this team Rockstar is so gigantic. They made their, they started a studio only to work on the citizens in the game. not to work on story or the environment. They just started a studio and probably have like several hundred people there only working on, let's try to make all these citizens feel extremely unique and responsive to you and have them all, give them all a schedule. They get up to go to work on at this hour. They go, it's just the most insane, elaborate video game ever being made. And I didn't see a whole lot of construction, but it was really awesome where We started off this presentation, they show us the Netflix thing.

They're like, this is what we want to show off, by the way. We're like, damn, how— I bet you Netflix paid, you know, an arm and a leg for that. And it was mainly them being like, no, we went to Netflix. We don't— it wasn't about a money thing. It was about, we want people to watch this on a big screen. People that maybe aren't gamers, people that maybe only watch, you know, Breaking Bad and maybe like good drama or whatever. And so the, yeah, the, the level of detail in this world is just, Absolutely nuts. It's ridiculous what they're doing here.

Andy, what's the craziest or funniest thing you saw in the game in, in the preview that you got to watch?

Uh, that's a great question. So I would say there's 2 of them, and this was kind of a weird event, right? Because normally when you go to a game event, you're there in the same place with everybody else. But this time it was just, hey, Andy and Greg, we're going to fly you 2 out. only, you're gonna come to our offices. And so as we're experiencing, you know, we see the Netflix thing and then they go, all right, let's boot up the game and you guys can't play it, but I'm sitting here playing it right in front of you and you tell me what to do.

Yeah.

And so, uh, so the level of, um, there, there was one moment where we went to go, um, try to steal money from a convenience store and the, Which is what you're gonna be doing. You're, you're playing these 2 characters. They're, you know, boyfriend and girlfriend at the time, and you are on the run constantly. You need money. You need to survive. And so we go to try to hold up a convenience store, try to steal money from it. And as we are breaking into the convenience store, we're bust— we're prepping for this little heist or whatever, getting the weapons, getting the, you know, putting the bandana on our face. And as soon as we walk up to the cash register, another lady from behind knocks us out of the way and proceeds to try to steal from the convenience store and is like, give me your money, give me your money. And we're like, what? And they freaked out. The developers freaked out. And, and to be honest with you, at a lot of these gaming events, you're like, okay, you probably planned that. You're trying to really impress us. I get that. Like, I'm sure every other peop— every other outlet that's coming to see this game may have seen the same thing we did.

And no, nobody else reported on that. That only happened in our playthrough. This game is all about like, they want all of these random in-world events to feel so unique. So a random lady comes to hold, to try to steal money from the cash register, uh, from the cashier. We end up knocking her out and then we hold up our gun to the cash register, to the cashier. And the cashier's like, she goes, another one? Like there's 2 people trying, what the, you know? She freaks out. She ends up running out of the store and leaving and we were able to then steal steal, uh, all the money from there. And then when you steal the money, you got to go back into the back room and steal the security tape and everything. It's unbelievable.

Andy, one of my favorite shows on TV of all time was Westworld season 1. Uh, that's why I love Red Dead Redemption, is because it feels like Westworld. But the way you're describing what just happened, it reminds me of Westworld when they start doing the reveries, and it's like, wait, how did the robot— it's not supposed to happen. How do they do that on their own? Like, how do they have like free will and stuff? Is that basically what you're describing to me, is that the NPCs, while non-playable, are actually doing stuff?

Yes, and that's a big reason why they have a massive team only working on that. Uh, you know, Rockstar is made up of like 5 different studios, so to be able to, to allocate resources to only work on how these NPCs behave— these are NPCs with lives that have a schedule that walk on this, this old couple maybe just walks on the beach and gets up like at 6 AM. That guy, you know, is a Twitch streamer and will be on his phone and might stop you for an interview like you see in street, you know, TikToks or Instagram Reels. All of these NPCs are made to be, made to feel insanely unique. And That a big goal of them at Rockstar is like, we don't want people to experience things over and over again. We don't want you to see that same moment happen multiple times to where it starts to feel like, oh yeah, that's the moment where that NPC— there was another moment we were playing where we were driving, they were driving down the highway for us and there was a helicopter nearby, like a police helicopter with the lights shining down.

They were looking for a criminal. And it's nighttime and you heard over the loudspeaker, over like the PA from the helicopter saying, there's a furry on the loose, or beware, there's a furry on the loose. And we were like, did we hear that?

Did you—

we hear that, right? There's a furry on the loose? And they're like, yeah, we got to go see that. That's a really cool in-world event. We were not able to get there because the highway didn't have enough exits. And we couldn't exit off the highway in time to be able to see that in-world event. But yes, all of these NPCs are so unique, and they all have their kind of regimens and what they do, and it's, it's absolutely nuts.

Probably got caught on the Palmetto between 130 and 103rd, and then the next exit, and you're trying to get there, and the Grattoni Parkway is going east to west, and you're like, what are we doing here?

It's a problem. Of course.

Andy, when the game comes out, uh, first of all, what— when is the game coming out? And when, when it comes out, how many hours straight will you spend on it?

Well, the, the nature of the job, uh, for me is like whoever— well, first off, I hope we get a lot of, um, a lot of game keys because a lot of studios will maybe only send one code and we have to be able to like, all right, who's going to be the one to play it? Who's the one reviewing it? So I really, really hope that I'm able to review it and maybe get the code for us. Um, I don't know when that day is, but it'll be the nature of the job to like, all right, you are playing this. Take off time from the shows if you need to. And maybe don't you know, be playing other games. You are just dedicated to this right now. So, um, they said it's about 80 hours to complete, which is pretty nuts. Uh, the game comes out November 19th. So it's still a while.

Wow. Okay.

Yeah, it's still a while. And we're— I'm at least hoping that there's gonna be another event where they invite press out and maybe we could go actually play the thing. Um, but either way, it was still insanely cool to see Just 2 and a half to 3 hours of just, you know, no, no holds barred. Just, we're playing the game. What do you want us to go do? And we'll go do it.

Andy, did they tell you about any quirks they're trying to work out? The stuff that still isn't finished, or is it complete and we're just waiting for November? No, no, no, no.

They are still like, they will be working on this right up until game time. And obviously they, They mentioned to us, you know, we could work on this forever and we want to try to fix everything as much as possible. But as we were playing stuff, it was so cool to have the director with the, with one of his developers behind him on a computer as he's, you know, the director's playing the game. And there would be a bug. You as your character were with your girlfriend Lucia. You play a guy named Jason. who looks a lot like Tony. I got that a lot from our community. Um, he, uh, uh, Jason, as the— he walked up to an ATM because you have a bank account and you have cash on you. And if you ever die with the cash on you in the game, that cash is gone. So you want to deposit the money to make it safe. So he walked up to the ATM and Lucia was standing in front of the ATM and she wasn't moving out of the way. And the director was like, hey, write this down. She's, she's gotta move.

She needs to know to get out of the way as, as one of these computer characters, one of these NPCs. That AI needs to fix that. We were seeing all these kind of different bugs in real time that weren't the most insane things at all. But there was a moment where a dude gets shot in the head and his, as he's falling backwards and the physics are moving, his— sunglasses clip through his head and they go through his head backwards.

Oh, boo!

Boo!

Broken game, right? Give me a refund. Um, but the, uh, in that moment, the director's like, hey, glasses! And he's doing like that, glasses, write that down, write that down. And it's like their attention to detail is just otherworldly. It's crazy.

Andy, I've got a 2-part question for you. One, has anybody ever told you that you have a cadence in the sound of George Sedano? Yeah, because back here's—

but oh, it's blowing my mind, dude.

The way that you talk, the way that you say things and enunciate, I'm like, dude, I can close my eyes and I can hear Sedano. That's one. So I'll put a pin in that.

2, he's the GOAT.

Yeah, as a fan.

Wow, he's the GOAT.

Wow, better than you, Zaz. That's what he said.

All right. Okay.

Hollywood Sedano.

Hollywood Sedano. As, as the second part of the question, as a member, card-carrying member of the Galactic Fascist Federation with your leader Wemby, how do you feel about the Spurs this year?

I mean, we're— oh gosh.

I mean, I didn't think you'd bring up a subject that tough so early on in the morning. It's 7 AM for me, Tony, so I don't know why you'd try to fire me up like this. But I mean, cover athlete, we're going to win it all this year. Some more veteran leadership. I had to be in New York the week that the Spurs won, or the Spurs lost. The week that the Spurs lost, I was in New York and it was just a depressing time for me. So like, I still haven't gotten over it, but thanks for bringing up those old wounds, man. I appreciate that.

But I gave you the compliment of George Sedano, so we balanced it out.

I mean, he is the GOAT. I don't know why I say he's the GOAT. I think he's cool. I don't know why I keep giving that guy compliments.

It's a weird thing to say.

He walked it back!

Yeah.

It's the robe. I'm telling you, it's the bathrobe.

I'm gonna text Sedano, you said he was the GOAT and then you took it back.

It was warranted.

Took it back really quick, actually. Uh, Andy Cortez, you can catch him, Kinda Funny Games YouTube show, also the Kinda Funny podcast, and on his Twitch. @AndyCortez. Uh, really fun stuff, Andy. Thanks for— thanks for joining us. Appreciate it, man.

Of course, guys. Been a fan since 2013 or something, so it's— this is an honor. All right, thank you.

There you go. Thanks.

Thank you.

Down, Lebatar!

God, I would love to see that interaction. Lord, let there be a day. Hey, Oprah, let there be a day. Oh, The Color Purple.

You like these glasses?

She would see these glasses, she'd be like, this is someone I'll take a picture with. He looks sophisticated.

I love Big Game, Not a Big Game.

Jonathan Saslow! She would say that to me instead of me having to go up to her and say I'm a big fan. She'd be like, I love Big Deal, Not a Big Deal.

Huge fan of your work.

You're a one-time or two-time championship broadcaster?

Two. Oprah, two.

You think Oprah would say like, hey, know about that book club?

Well, and I would say yes I do, Oprah. Yes I do.

Have you seen Weapons?

What about the kids?

This is the Dan Le Batard Show. Let me ask you something. Uh, Dave, by the way, you were excellent there, uh, with Andy. But is, is this, is this the kind of game that's like, is this hard to play because what— why— I used to play video games, all right, when I was younger. And then like 5 or 6 years ago, my son is like, hey, you want to play Madden with me? I'm like, my boys both have video games, and I'm like, yeah, let's play Madden. I used to love Madden.

And—

They have their own video games?

Wow.

Yeah, pretty big. Yeah. And now, now I, I, I'll play with him. I pick up the control. I can't even— I can't even complete a pass. Like, I'm, I'm awful. I can't The buttons, it's like too much at one time for me now.

Is their game named like Zazz 3.0 and Zazz 3.1 or something like that?

No, I don't even know what you're doing there.

Well, you said they have video games. I'm like, wow, that's pretty cool.

Yeah, they have their own video games.

They have video games?

Wow.

Dave, do you understand what I'm saying?

I do, and you know what makes me feel better about me, and maybe this will help you too, Zazz? Have you noticed that the, you know, the uber-modern games and how confusing they are and everything, Kids now are deferring to games that look very much like the games of 40 years ago. Yes.

Really?

Yes.

That's what they vibe to is some version of Sonic the Hedgehog. I mean, it's all like the lateral, like your character is going from left to right or vice versa. And driving games and all the fancy stuff that goes into these games is being set aside in favor of like the more straightforward games that we can relate to.

Dave Damashek, we park our cars in the same garage because my kids annoy me because they won't play cool games like that. They play—

This game looks incredible.

They play Minecraft and they play this game called Undertale, and then there's another one from the makers of Undertale, and it's exactly what Dave is describing. It looks like it's an Atari. It's flat and it's like a lot of— and it's like, hey, uh, person, do this, this, this. Do you want to do this or do you want to do this? Like, like it's the Oregon Trail or some shit. And I'm like, guys, we live in the era of like 8K and like lifelike realistic stuff. Like, why don't you guys play like Indiana Jones or the Harry Potter game or whatever? Nope, they just love this stupid little game and they're obsessed with it. And it angers me, Zaz. It angers me because they're like, do you want to play? I'm like, no, no, I don't want to play this boring looking ass game that I would have loved 40 years ago.

Style over substance. I mean, you know, we peaked as a video gaming society with NHL '94, and now we can have We can have fancier-looking graphics and everything, but that doesn't change the fact that the best of the best remains what happened 30 years ago.

Brother, let me tell you something. I spent how many days in LA? I would go— this would be my schedule literally. I would go, I would do The Jump at 12, I would do SportsNation at 1, I would get out basically at 2, and from 2 o'clock to like 11 o'clock 'Cause I had a little desk there and I had my PS4 in there. I was playing Red Dead Redemption like 8, 9 hours straight.

So bosses would walk by and then—

Well, the cubicle was kind of off to the side.

It'd be like, my guy is grinding.

It would go from light to dark. Every— the cleaning people would be coming by and I was just locked in. Locked in on what? Trying to hit that legendary alligator down by, uh, what's it called, Saint Denis, which is basically New Orleans. Oh my God, you have not lived until you have thrown your entire life into Red Dead Redemption 2 and just became a cowboy and learned how to fish and hunt and stuff like that.

That was you.

Amin, I have really fun news from Dave Damashek. Dave, why don't you tell all of us the movie you finally got around to seeing?

Well, I— the other day realized, you know, there's someone pretty important in my life that I've been ignoring lately, and his name is Dave Damashek. And so I treated that guy to a matinee. Just, just me. Just me. Went over to the matinee and saw The Odyssey. Yeah.

At long last.

And for all the hype around it, I really get concerned. I fell into this trap with, with the, with the Ryan Gosling movie earlier this year that it was so hyped. Oh my goodness.

Project Hail Mary.

Project Hail Mary. Oh, The Martian, director of The Martian. I was like, oh, this is gonna be a good movie. And I saw it and I was like, this is the movie everybody's going gaga for? It's a buddy picture with a rock? Unsatisfying to Dave. But The Odyssey, oh, what a movie.

What a movie.

What a movie.

What did you love the most about it?

I think of all the chapters along their, along their way, The Cyclops was great. I mean, there were so many great layers, but I'm just thinking about it as an adventure movie, as an action movie before you get into, you know, the greater meaning and all of that. My favorite stop for them was either the Cyclops or the giants whose names I can't remember, but that was a badass crew that dispatched them pretty quick as they made their way. By the way, I always think in any war movie, even in a mythical one, I would be one of, if not the first one dead. That would be my fate. You know, I wouldn't get left behind when Matt Damon's like, I need people and we're doing a thing. I would definitely, my luck is bad enough that I would make the cut and have to go to war. But I'm just, and there wouldn't be like, oh, you know, he has an arched, he has an arch in his foot or he has bone spurs or whatever. I would get into the army or I would get dragged along with Matt Damon on the odyssey.

But then I would be the first one dead. And at the end of the war, they would be like, you remember that Jew? Remember him? Just like with the annoying voice? Like, yeah, vaguely I do. Yeah, like he was the first one dead. That was sad.

Did Argus make you cry?

Um, no, but, um, but listen, the, the, the gravity of the last, uh, 20, 30 minutes was pretty strong.

Oh, so good. It's so— come on, stringing that bow. Dave, you know about stringing that bow?

Bong!

I like that he had to abide by it when he was about to shoot the deer. He's like, rules are rules, man.

What a scene.

And then the deer ended up being a naked dude with an arrow in his ass.

A witch! A witch! Uh, Amin, that's a good opportunity, your time to shine here. You have a top 5, right?

I do have a top 5. So I went to see The Odyssey. And—

Stayed awake?

I stayed awake the entire time. It was— it held my attention the whole time. I didn't feel sleepy one bit. I loved it. I feel bad about, like, being like people are hyping it up, but I don't feel bad about shit on 70mm. Totally irrelevant. But before you watch a movie, you get to the movies early, see trailers.

Love trailers.

Trailers!

And so there were a lot of trailers before the movie.

Every movie, what would you say the average time is now before the movie actually starts? We're going at least 25 minutes. Yeah, yeah.

Because they also slip in these ads. Coca-Cola, we get it. I'm drinking Coke, man. You don't have to do ads anymore. Trust me, I'm not gonna go get a Pepsi. I'm gonna get a Coke. Like, they keep throwing these ads, especially at the movie theater. Like, okay, I get it. Coke. Got it. Message received.

But when I'm running late, that's when there's no, uh, fucking—

All right, good job. I mean, continue.

Yeah, it's Friday, Chris.

Wow.

All right, trailers. I was the one yelling trailers in the background. There's no trailers when you're late for a movie.

I mean, why do they have to show ads for the movie theater when you're in the movie theater? That's very strange.

Yes, AMC, right? AMC with, with, uh, with, uh, Nicole Kidman.

Let It Go.

That's a tough one, Zach.

Nicole Kidman trying to tell me about the magic of theaters. Like, I don't need that. I'm already here, lady. You didn't have to sell me.

Nicole Kidman, that's, that's an all-timer. Don't give me the rest of it, the little roller coaster, all that stuff, but Nicole Kidman telling me the magic of cinema?

I get it, man. You don't have to sell me.

I'm here.

Like, you should do that ad somewhere else. It's not even preaching to the choir. It's, it's a warden talking to inmates. I'm already here. These are the top 5 trailers I saw before The Odyssey. I gotta know a lie, folks. By any means. This— yeah, like, I was like, this is not great. It looks very formulaic. It's the— it's a buddy cop, black guy, white guy. They're trying to find some racist dude, the Klan, the mob.

Oh, that's with Mark Wahlberg?

Yeah.

Yeah.

And Yahya Abdul-Mateen, 2 actors I really like. It just felt like a very formulaic movie based on the trailer. Hence the OLI. Number 5, I don't like horror movies, but this Other Mommy, oh God, I might, I might be sold on watching it.

Here's the problem, how is it not called Other Mother?

Yeah, I thought the same thing. I thought the same thing. But also the other thing I thought of is this is the key in— I mean, like the Jordan Peele movie, remember Us or whatever it was called? Where it's like there's doppelgangers of everyone. Yeah, like we've already seen this movie with Black people, then thus making it better, by the way.

By the way, though, is the Jennifer Lawrence movie Mother?

That's probably why they didn't go with the other mother suggestion that you went with there.

Oh, that's like why, you know, it's the other point, right?

Because it's like mother. No, the other one.

But it sounds like a sequel.

It sounds like a sequel.

That would be a great sequel.

Have another one.

Another Mother.

That should have been—

that's the sequel, not Other Mother. There you go. Number 4, I heard about this. I, I heard about people talking about it. I'm like, this sounds dumb. Why are they doing this sequel? It's been run into the ground. And then I watched the trailer. I said, you know what, maybe.

Trailer.

Focker-in-Law.

It looks funny, right?

Yeah. So now the son of Ben Stiller has grown up and he's dating a girl.

Ariana Grande.

Yeah. And but Ben Stiller's trying to do the same thing that De Niro did to him and be kind of tough on her, but turns out she's way more of a hard-ass than he ever is. And so her and Robert De Niro start bonding.

Yeah.

And hating Ben Stiller.

I'm like, yo, my fear is that we've seen the best of what the movie has to offer in the trailer.

I don't know, maybe, but that trailer was funny, man. When he spits his food into De Niro's mouth, it's funny.

Number 3.

Whalefall.

That movie looks crazy, right?

Again, sounds like a dumb premise.

Octopus in the whale's mouth?

I heard about it, sounded like a dumb premise, and then I saw the trailer and saw this guy get swallowed whole by the whale.

I'm in.

Who Among Us, right? 3 AM. I'm in.

Number 2, it's an octopus in the whale's mouth. So there's tentacles coming out of the whale's mouth.

And, and the octopus is a hater because he— the guy tries to swim away, he's like, no, you don't. It wraps its tentacle around the dude's leg. Like, you're not— if I'm here, you're here too.

I gotta see that. I gotta know what happens.

Number 2, I Play Rocky.

Oh yeah, yeah, all the goosebumps.

All the goosebumps watching that. Yeah, Stallone having to fight for his script. having to use a fake name, and people say, just go use your regular name. And they say, he's too dumb, or whatever. And he's like, I wrote the script, and if I don't get to be in it, then you don't get to make it. And they keep upping the number.

Well, he says, he says, I play Rocky. And the guy goes, I don't know what that means.

I'm really excited about that one.

Yep, yep.

Who gives a shit? What, what, a movie about making a movie? Yeah, I'll just make a documentary. What do I need the, the fictionalized— somebody cast to play Sly Stallone? Yeah, I don't know if everybody heard Sly Stallone. Sly Stallone is still alive. You could just talk to him on camera.

He's 80!

All right, who gives a shit about the making of Rocky? And I love Rocky.

And the number 1— actually, wait, hold on, before I go to number 1, the— do you guys watch that show that had Miles Teller in it that was about the making of The Godfather?

I did not, but I know what that is.

It's great.

It's great, but the guy that plays Pacino in that who plays Pacino perfectly, does the voice perfectly. He's the one that plays Stallone in this movie, and he does the voice perfectly, and he looks just like him. Maybe I can't tell Italians apart.

Hmm.

The guy who plays Apollo, Carl Weathers, also looks and sounds just like him. Really well done.

Really good.

And the number 1 movie trailer that I saw that I'm 10 toes deep— this one is actually gonna get me to the theater, folks. Maybe opening night like Jonathan Zaslav. You know about that Digger?

Now, is that movie called Digler?

Digger. I can say it with lots of gusto.

I don't even know what to make of that movie.

Dude, I didn't know what it was about. I kept doing this bit over here and I was like, it's a funny bit. I know Tom Cruise has a new movie called—

It looks crazy.

Then I saw the trailer and Tom Cruise in the prosthetics and all that stuff, and I'm like, oh my God. This guy's incred— he's the greatest actor of our time.

We have gaunt John Goodman.

Well, that's how he's been looking. I don't know if you watched—

I don't like the way he looks.

But that's how he's been looking if you watched, uh, like Righteous Gemstones.

I know, but I don't like the way he looks.

So he didn't go to the Men's Warehouse?

No, he didn't.

He didn't like the way he looked?

I guarantee it.

Cam Scataboo.

Dan Levitar. The Packers win or the Bears lose.

Jonathan Sasslow.

Shitty, you wanna know how that— what were the kids doing? This is the Dan Levitar Show. Chris, how you feeling about talking right now?

He's, uh, shaking his head no.

Yeah, for the audio audience there.

Yeah, that's a good list. I mean, thank you, that's a good job.

What are you most excited about?

Well, I mean, Avengers: Doomsday.

Oh, you saw the trailer for that too when I watched Spider-Man? I like Spider-Man, it was good.

Yeah, um, but I'm also really into I Am Rocky. It looks fantastic.

Yeah, I don't care about that, but back to the Doomsday. What is the story now? So Robert Downey Jr.— so Tony Stark is Doomsday?

Here's the thing. This is a crazy concept, Dave. I hope you're able to follow along here. Gotta go see the movie.

But do you know the answer? I know you're snarking at me, Zazz, but for real, is that— because it's so weird that you would have in— it's not like he went from DC to Marvel, but Chris Evans is Captain America and the Human Torch. It's ridiculous that they couldn't figure out another actor to play the— to play 2 superheroes in the same universe.

They're not the same universe.

They're not the same universe. That's why. That's why it's called the Cinematic Universe, because the Chris Evans—

They're in the Marvel Universe.

The Marvel Cinematic Universe. That defines it as one thing. So when Chris Evans played the Human Torch, that was not in the Marvel Cinematic Universe in the same way that Oh, I don't know, Kraven and Madame Web are not in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. They're just shitty movies based on Marvel characters.

Kraven's not a shitty movie. I like that movie a lot.

Awful.

Nope, you're wrong.

Awful.

I've watched it so many times, man.

But isn't Tony Stark— I'm not talking about Robert Downey Jr., I'm talking about Tony Stark— isn't he somehow Doomsday in the Marvel Universe?

Okay, okay, so first of all, hold on, let me do this. Dave Damashek, did you never read comic books growing up? You never heard of Doctor Doom?

I was more I was a Batman guy.

Yeah, why are you calling him Doomsday?

His name is Doctor Doom. He went to college, he went to university, he got a graduate degree not for you to call him Doomsday, for you to refer to him as Doctor Doom, number one. Number two, this is the great mystery that we're all gonna find out, because the theory is in the multiverse, somehow Victor Von Doom, aka Doctor Doom, looks exactly like Tony Stark. And that's what's going to blow everyone's minds in the movie, in-universe. Like, wait a second, you look like my buddy Tony. He's like, I do not know who Tony is. He's got a little weird accent and stuff. So that's the part that this—

he's from Latveria.

Latveria, that's right.

You may continue.

All right, I'll see it.

Yeah, that's how you find out the questions that you have, by seeing it. That's how you get answers to movies. It's okay.

Count me in.

Now Chris is lying down now on a couch outside the studio because he's quit speaking for the day. Because that was— it was a rough— like, I don't even know what he was trying to say. He's bad at talking.

It's just tough. Like, it's— he's had a tough week. You know, you need—

He missed several days this week.

I know, but that's bad, right? Like, most people, you miss days, it's like, oh, I'm rested, I'm relaxed, I can come back and be great at my job. In Chris's case, When he misses days, he's doing activities during those days that will negatively affect him. He's actually better off working every single day than taking any days off.

Yeah, he has no confidence right now. Very, very low confidence.

He looks— look at him.

He looks terrible.

I've never seen him this emotional. His eyes are welling up.

I don't even know if he's blinking.

Does a man side sleep? in the manner that Chris Cody is right now?

On the couch? On the couch, how else are you gonna sleep?

With his arms crossed.

On your back.

I told you how I sleep.

Like a vampire.

I told— well, that's close to how I sleep, like this, Dave.

Like almost—

On my back, like this.

Do you? Hands up, eh?

Yeah, that's how I sleep. On my back with my hands up.

What are you getting ready for?

I'm not getting ready for anything. This is comfortable to me. That's how—

I feel like you're gonna pop up like, ah!

That's how I sleep.

I, you know what I do that's weird is I do actually, I said sleep like a vampire, but I actually do like, I do bat arms.

I do that also.

Anybody else do that?

Yep.

Show me bat arms.

Like, do your wrists hurt? Well, I do this kind of like, no, no, not, not like, uh, not like Dracula with his arms folded, uh, for, for his sleep during the day. I like literally bend my arm. Like I, I press my arm down into the mattress.

Oh, like 2 of them.

Yeah, right. Yeah, basically I'm fencing, right? That I, I sleep for the 6 hours I sleep each night in, uh, the fencing position.

Aren't your wrists sore? Yeah, they have to be sore.

Yeah, very, very. It's weird. I don't know what, what to make of it, but I am aware that I'm not the only person who does it.

You have to say, Dave, why does your wrist hurt? I slept weird. He's got wrists hurting.

Got the gout. Ugh, it's getting grim. It's getting grim, Zazz.

Emeka Egbuka.

I gotta play this for you here, Dave. I don't know if you saw this yesterday. So the Seattle Seahawks, they have a new owner, all right? Finally, the Allen family, the Allen Trust, right, the estate, they have new owners there, the Seattle Seahawks. And the Seahawks owners, new owner, the family, they were introduced to the media yesterday. All right. And you tell me if you've ever heard an owner— now, it makes sense that you can have a guy who buys a football team and he's a football fan, he's an NFL fan, he probably had a favorite team as well. But have you ever heard an owner say something like this?

I also happened to come to this country in '76 when the Steelers were winning the Super Bowl. So actually, I was originally And still am a big Steelers fan also. Little-known fact, but I still watch all the Steelers games too.

That's wonderful.

It is a wild thing. Much like you guys are all so young, you probably don't even remember the height of the '80s Lakers versus Celtics thing when it kind of divided a basketball nation. You either rooted for the Celtics or the Lakers in addition to whatever your local basketball collective was. In the '70s, that was even more so. To this very day, people come up to me and say like, huh, you and I don't get along. Why is that? Because I'm a Dallas Cowboys fan and you're a Steelers guy. Those roots sank so deep for people who are watching football in the '70s. You had your team and either the fancy pantses with the star on the side of their hats or the team built on brawn where might is right, the black and gold, not black and yellow, Pittsburgh Steelers. The question is, though, if I went to a store and I wanted to buy a red t-shirt and they're like, sorry, red is too popular, it's all sold out, but, but we have this brown one, you'd be like, yeah, good enough, just give me the brown one. I can't imagine spending billions and billions of dollars on not your favorite football team.