Transcript of Just Fyre TCB!

Tina Tannen Tweez is happy to announce its grand re-re-opening. Tina Tannen Tweez is now re-open after we had to close after our last grand reopening. That's right, Crabapplians. Northwest Butchuck County's only tanning, tweezing, and anal bleaching spot is back and better than ever. With four state-of-the-art burn beds, you'll be redder than ever, making her wetter than ever. The juice is loose. Tt&t has the only beds anywhere in the world that turn the UV rays up to 11. That's right, back by popular demand, and thanks to DOGE deregulation, Our 1970s-era tanning equipment will give you more solar radiation in one session than most astronauts get standing outside their spaceship. Bake me a cake, Rocket Man. And make sure to stop by the Tina tweezing tent. Conveniently located steps from our outdoor restroom facilities. And donde esta el baño? You get a professional plucking, so you're ready for some... Put a quarter in the swear jar. This week and this week only Only when you order one lip waxing, we'll throw in the other lips for free. Bare legal. Ladies, let's trim that basement beard and put out a fresh welcome mat for that special hunk of spunk in your life.

Slip and We'll get up close and personal with our five-in-one, Brazilian technique. You'll leave feeling sexy, silky, and smooth, or your next visit is 10% off. Plus, available now to all new Crab Apple customers You can brighten up that dark star while you wait. We've flown in Eastern Europe's hottest bleaching technician Balania. All the way from Latvia and fresh off her DJ residency in Abiza, Balania is bringing all the tools to make Make the boys drools.

Bipety boppety boom.

Make your no-no zone a go-go zone when you lighten up that brown blossom into a white rose because you never know who's looking.

It's your creepy neighbor.

Tina Tana Twees now re-reopen at 127 Main Street in Crab Apple Township.

Tina Tana Twees is not responsible for lost or stolen items inside or outside the facilities or in your body cavity. Please be aware that TT&T is operating under a state carnival license and may not know what they're doing. By entering TT&T, you agree that some of the chemicals and processes used may be harmful to your health. Any person or persons who receive services at TT&T may be subject to surveillance by state authorities. Tina of Tina Tana Twees may not leave the premises for any reason due to a legal arrangement with state police.

Tina Pan and tweeze, red and ready to go with a smooth chucha and a shiny hole.

On this episode of the Commercial Break.

But I'm going to tell you right now, don't give your money to these people because you will end up being disappointed. Give the commercial break $1. 1 million, and we will turn off the RSS feed and the commercial break, you can put whatever name you want on it, and Christie and I will do an episode every day for the next five years just to you. That's it. That's what you get for $1. 1 million. I think that's a much better deal than staying on a yacht for four days in a festival that no one's going to play at. You know what I'm saying? Is it going to be 33 P acoustically? What if he was going to play there?

I can't believe that he's doing this again.

The next episode of the Commercial Break starts now. The 30 in the morning. Yeah, Caz and Kitten's Welcome back to the Commercial Break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co-host of this show, Chris and Joy Holden. Best to you, Chris hair. Best to you, Brian. Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Thanks for joining us. I was going to say you're the Mads to my Dave, but I don't know how people will get that? How many people will pick up on that? Will you pick up on it? I don't think so. The Mads to My Dave. Okay. Like Madison? Like Madison.

I got it.

Okay, so you're that far?

The Ozoneo, I-K-N-Y-K-D-Y. So you're that far in the show? I am not. I am only three episodes in, but I unfortunately saw a reel that indicated what I'm headed into. So here we go. I'm on six. Love is Blind. Okay, don't tell me everything. I won't. But Love is Blind, up to episode for, spoiler alert, turn off the first segment because we're going to talk about it. Love is Blind is back because it seems like it's back every two months. It is. They're constantly doing one, and they're about a year behind on production. So what you're seeing now is filmed about a year ago. And I see why they do this is so that when they get together for the recap, the live reunion, they actually have some meat potatoes to talk about. Some time has gone out. People who are married are either married or not. People who have been together. It just gives some breathing room. Plus, it probably takes a long time to cut and edit those shows. Yeah, that's a lot of footage. Into a storyline that makes sense. They do storyboard these out. Make no bones about it. They flip, flop.

They might take something that happened on day three and make it look like it happened on day two to further the storyline. You get it. It's editing of a reality show. It's not all straightforward. They have to make it interesting. I got to say, slow start on Love Is Blind season number 12 or whatever.

It's slow start. They focus That's a lot on the pods.

They do? Well, there's three full episodes now. I believe four full episodes.

It goes into like, they're still in the pods. I'm in like six.

Oh, really? Yeah. They're still in the pods at six? Yeah, that's a little unusual. I think two seasons ago, they had like two episodes in the pods, and then they were right at the Honeymoon. Yes, exactly. I like that. Me too. Plus, I like my people a little crazier than they are this season. However, there is one X-Factor that everybody is talking about who's watching Love is Blind. Her name is Mads or Madison. She is a smoke show. And when I mean a smoke show, I mean the type of woman who eats men for breakfast and spits them out before brushing her teeth at noon. This girl is trouble with a capital T. Been there, done that. I literally have dated women with the exact same personality. Now, Astrid and I are watching because this is a couple's watch. There's not a lot of stuff that we have as a couple's watch because Esther doesn't like me watching TV with her anymore. But she prefer I be in the studio than anywhere else. But this is a couple's watch. So we got excited. Love is Blind. It happened to come out on Valentine's Day, so we sat, we watched.

But it was so slow. The first episode or two was so slow. We only got through one episode a night, whereas last season or the season before, we were getting through two or three, maybe four episodes in the night. New episodes would drop and we'd burn through them. So I wasn't Super, like, hyped about this season after the first episode, but smartly, the producers started focusing in on a girl named Madison. Now, Asard and I are watching this. Madison's having these dates, and she's whittling it down to two or three guys. But every guy that she is talking to, she is trauma-dumping all of the things that have happened to her. When a guy says something, she will say, let me give you an example. Well, my mom a drug addict, and so I had to raise myself and make hard choices. Fast forward to a couple of scenes later, she's with a different guy. Well, I grew up in a very strict church, and I thought to myself, you grew up in a very strict church with a drug addict mother. Something didn't add up to me. Every time they showed Madison, she had yet another trauma, another drama, another...

Listen, I'm not diminishing trauma. If she did have a drug addict mother and had to grow up raise herself, I raise myself, too. That's a very traumatic thing to go through. As an adult, if you haven't sat down and reasoned with that part of your life, then it's a very difficult thing to- Move To move past, for sure. But she kept saying, I'm past it. I've done it. I'm self-aware. But then every time something came up, she had to bring up the trauma again. Every time, every conversation. Another example I don't want to talk about sex right now because I grew up in such a strict church. I'm very- Oh, yeah. I'm very- I remember her saying that. I'm reserved, and I was made to feel like sex is shameful and that women weren't supposed to have sex unless it was for the purpose of making babies. Very next scene, she's like half naked twerking, basically mutually masturbating with another guy in the pod, which was very... And I know the producers did this on purpose to give this, Hey, she's saying this, but she's doing that, saying this with this guy, doing that with that guy.

What's up? So they're also honing in on this, and they're doing it slowly and pretty connivingly, but you can pick up on it very early. So if you haven't watched it, I'm giving it to you. I'm not giving away anything. But Madison is trouble with a capital T. One of these guys is on to her. One of these guys is so self-aware and I think, emotionally intelligent, that when Madison is saying these things, he is not rolling over like a puppy dog for her sexy voice. Now, he has no idea what she looks like. I don't think, anyway. He has no idea what she looks like, but just the way she talks can twist you into a knot. I'm sure a lot of these guys are just drooling listening to her voice and her talk in this sultry, sexy way. Well, one of the guys, he's seeing past it and he's like, Yeah, I don't know. He asks, What's your attachment style. And she says, Dismissiveness. Whenever something happens that I don't like, I tend to run away from it. And he says, Yeah, I don't think I like that. I don't think that's something I could handle.

He's being honest with her, where the other guys are like, Madison, Well, wait till you see.

I'll take it a little further in.

Oh, really? Well, I saw the reel this morning and I understand it.

What? What did it say?

That she blew up the whole thing for another girl altogether?

Well, that happened. But then there's something for I don't know that it happens.

Okay, we'll drop the bomb. Drop the bomb. Really? Yeah. Love is blind. Love is blind. A spoiler alert. We're talking about it. By the time this comes out, everybody will have already seen it.

She narrows it down to the one guy. I think his name's Dave. I don't know. He's the guy who also said he grew up like... That he was a nerdy guy and got bullied as a kid. So they had that in common or something. Anyways, it gets down to the two of them, and he doesn't He doesn't do it. He doesn't do it? She narrows it to him and only him. Then he says, I can't move further. It's too much. He's like, I can't. Engagement's a lot.

This is the guy who I was talking about. I like that guy. I like that guy, too, because he was honest with himself. He's like, I think something off here, and I'm not going to just- He doesn't do the engagement.

I don't know what happens after that. Okay. There's some repair or she moves on to another guy. I don't know.

Very interesting. Good for you. I think that guy's name is Dave. Good for you. Dave or Sean, one of the two. Good for you, Dave. Good for you. I'm so proud of you, Dave. I'm so proud of you.

Because he was really smitten.

Yeah, of course. If he saw what she looked like, he's probably going to kick himself in the fucking nuts. Yeah. She was a model. She's an artist. She's an international woman of mystery. She's done I mean, every time someone talks to her, she did something different, she's doing something different. I don't know. She seems like a bit of a chameleon to me, like an emotional chameleon. Listen, I'm not pointing out Madison to say that... Don't take this as, Oh, Brian just thinks all girls are crazy. No, I don't.

No, you can just recognize the crazy.

I just recognize the crazy.

You've honed your skills.

Having lived with it, dated it, been there, done that. And maybe we all have had some similar experience with someone that just is an emotional chameleon. They gaslight you, they tell you whatever you want to hear, they give you love, they pull it away. This is Madison. This is what she's doing. And you can see it even through the editing of the show. If you've ever been in one of these relationships, guy or girl, then you feel it. You're like, Oh, this seems a little too familiar to me. Even though Madison is a total bomb of a physical woman, there's so much drama behind those eyes that it's like, run as fast as you can.

Yeah, well, this guy did.

Yeah, he's going to kick himself in the nuts when he finds her Instagram. When he finds her Instagram bikini pictures, he's going to fucking flip out. I haven't even looked at her for her. I get a little... I don't want to ruin it for myself.

Right. That's why I was trying not to look ahead.

I I know that they're not supposed to post, but you can tell little things if you check out their Instagram. They make other benign Instagram posts until the episode reveals, whatever the episode reveals. But then the rest of the stories are like, Oh, and I can already see a crack in one of the ones that did get engaged. Oh, really? Okay. All right. Well, don't tell me that, because we so far have seen one engagement, and it looks like something that actually could be promising.

Yeah, that first one?

Yeah. Is that the one where we're seeing No. Okay, good. All right. Because I like those, too.

It's when they see each other.

Oh, it's when they see each other? It's another couple that when they see each other. Love is not blind, guys. I know. Love is not blind unless you're actually blind. Do you know what I'm saying? That's it. It's just the truth. We use all of our senses to eat. We use all of our senses to fall in love, all of our available senses. Let's put it that way. But love is not blind unless you're actually blind. That's the truth. It can't be. There's no way. You can't look at someone you're not attracted to and go, I want to fall in love with that person. It's really hard to do that. I mean, so many people have tried with me, and it didn't work out with anybody except for Astrid. I want to get her eyesight checked.

You won the prize with her.

I did win the prize. I married up for sure. All right, while we're on television shows, which we tend to talk about once a week, but while we're on television shows, I wanted to let you know. I am watching, I think, probably one of the best television shows I have seen in a long time. Let me preface this saying, I am not a medical drama guy. Oh, yeah. Er. What was the other one? Grey's Anatomy. You can name the endless amounts of medical traumas that there have been on television, seen elsewhere. All the medical traumas that have been on television and caused quite the ruckus, quite the stir. I have just never been convinced they're interesting enough to watch for any period of time. I'm not into it. It's not for me. I'm sorry. It's just like, I don't know, like bad romance drama wrapped in with some medical bullshit, and there's always some mystery that someone's uncovering and some medical miracles happened out of nowhere. It's all a little too fluffy and bullshitty for Brian, okay? I like Seven Little Johnston. That's where good television lives.

However, that said- You got the pit. You're on the pit.

I am on the pit, and the pit- I heard the pit is taken off. Is so fantastic. And that Noah Wiley, who's on that show, executive producer, co-writer, and the lead in that show, plays The Pit is a teaching hospital in Pittsburgh. They call it the Pit because he works in the emergency room that is filled with people, and they don't have enough time, they don't have enough money, and they don't have all these other reasons. It's just like a real live emergency room. It is so incredibly real, down to the- Really? Down to the props that they use for the medical procedures, the words that they're saying. They're using words that clearly only surgeons or doctors or medical professionals channels would even know.

So it's like you're a fly on the wall- You are a fly on the wall. In the emergency.

Yeah, on a real emergency room, not one where they're fluffing up the language for the viewers to homogenize it for everyday viewers. This is like they're saying the real words, and then in between, the story lines slowly unfold. Okay. And the story lines are interesting enough to keep you engaged. The acting is fantastic. It's quick paced. They're taking care of a new patient. And by the way, I love how this is done. It's 15-hour shift at the pet, 15 episodes, an hour each show. So you're actually following them minute by minute during the show. So it's not like there's big jumps in time forward or backwards. I mean, there are some flashbacks so you can get some of the story. But basically, when it's 9: 00 AM, you're following them from 9: 00 AM to 10: 00 AM, and they're treating the patients in real-time during that hour. Those patients can stay for multiple episodes, depending on what case they have, or they can be in and out in an hour. It's fascinating. It's fantastic. I have to take a shot. I fucking love it. It's on Max. You should watch. Everybody should be watching this.

It is very much being talked about right now. It's already been picked up for a second season. Michael Crichton and his... Michael Crichton's estate had sued the Pit because Noah Wiley was on ER. Then one of the writers and producers from ER also is a writer and a producer on this. They're saying they stole the idea for ER. But I saw a couple of episodes of ER, and I don't remember it being half as engaging as the Pit. Really? Yeah. Also, I was in my 20s when the ER, or 20s or 30s when the ER came out, and maybe it just wasn't that stage in my life when I could deal with a medical drama. I love this show. Watch it. But There's a point here. There's never a point to the commercial break, but there's a point here. I have, for a long time on this show, have wanted to find a way to wrap music into the show, but we are not equipped to actually play music on the show. We're big music fans. Yeah, we're big music fans. But the radio stations, you listen to radio or you listen to Howard Stern or someone on Serious, and they can play all the music they want because they have ASCAP licenses.

They're able to do so. Those things are terribly expensive. I looked into it because I really wanted to play music on the show. It's just not a possibility. It's too expensive for the amount of downloads. For all five downloads we have, it's like $70 million. But I'm going to take some chances here and there, and I'd like to share with you new music when I find it. Now, this music is not new, but this is a fantastic song. I'm going to give you the name of a band, and I'm going to let you listen to a song. That was the opening song to The Pit. Oh. Okay?

You know, those people that control the music on shows now are doing a really good job.

It's the only place you can find music these days. Do you know what I'm saying? But they do do a great job because I think the I think the cost of playing some of this music has come way down, and there are more licensees, like musicians, artists, people who own these rights, that are willing to put this music in shows for cheaper prices because they know it will lead to more streams. It does, yeah. And that's the name of the game. When I was a kid, you would have never heard a Beatles song in a serial commercial. Fucking Frosted Flakes and Let It Be, really? But that has all changed. The landscape of music has completely changed to the point where it's so impossible to make money selling albums that these people have to make money anywhere they can. They're willing to license these songs out. I think they do it for a much more reasonable rate. The people who are putting the music in these shows are really good at what they do. They find these little unknown artists, and they can blow... One commercial or television show can blow them up. Okay, ready?

Opening to the Pit, I'm going to say a name of an artist, and I want to know if you have ever heard the name of band. Okay. Robert Bradley's Blackwater Surprise.

I have.

Yes. All right. Here is the opening to the Pit. He's really good. This got me because honestly, I wasn't even considering watching the Pit, and then I saw the little trailer for it, and then I pressed play, and this was the first thing I heard, and this wrote me in for the rest of the eight shows that are out so far.

Honestly, I wish had played the whole episode.

I just want to listen. I've listened to this for 15 hours.

Have you?

It's all right.

It's good stuff.

I have no idea what this has to do with medical drama, but it's so good. It's so good. It draws you into the first episode. There's like shots of Pittsburgh and riding over the river. How are you going to turn a television show off if it's got this at the beginning? It's really good. Am I right?

Yes, you're You're right.

Robert Bradley, speaking of Love is Blind, Robert Bradley is a blind man. The way that this band got started is the other members of the band wanted to start a grunge band back in the '90s. They were like that grunge-kind of thing, right?

Everybody wasn't it?

But they were really bad. They weren't doing so good.

They weren't on 33 P level.

They were definitely not Chopper Johnson material. They were in a practice space, I think in New Orleans. They were in a practice rehearsal space, and on a break or getting ready to practice or whatever, the lead guitarist heard Robert Bradley singing in another studio space. The window was open. He could hear him through the window. Then he came out later, he heard him through the window again. Then hours later, Robert Bradley still singing. And so he convinced him to come and sing for the band, sing with the music. And this is what came out of it. Some of the music that these guys put out is just fantastically soulful. Robert's got that voice that I think only a blind man from New Orleans can have, honestly. If you think about it for 2 seconds, that's a million years worth of life experience in that voice. And it just got me. I'm convinced I'll watch the Pit for at least one episode. Just to hear that. The funny thing is there is not another drop of music in the entire series. That's it. One song, that's it. But whoever made that choice, whoever picked that song, whoever got Robert Bradley's shit, called Robert Bradley whatever's and said, Hey, can I use this song?

Was 100% right. That that gets you through the first 15 seconds and then you're involved. You're like, Okay. Then the doctor walks into the ER and he starts his shift and you're like, okay, well, I guess I'll just stay around for one hour. Oh, man. And it comes out every Thursday. Fuck you, Hulu. I mean, not Hulu, Max. Fuck you. I just want to watch all 15 hours. Is that okay? I would burn through that show. I really would. Anyway, Love is Blind, The Pit. I would suggest The Pit before Love is Blind, but they're both medical traumas in some way, shape, or form. All right, let's take a break. I got to talk to you about something that is crazy. Something crazy has returned. What? I will blow your mind when we get back.

Okay.

Let me do something Brian has never done. Be brief. Follow us on Instagram at the Commercial Break. Text or call us, 212 433 3TCB. That's 212-433-3TCB. 2822. Visit our website, tcbpodcast. Com, for all the audio, video, and your free sticker. Then watch all the videos at youtube. Com/thecommercialbreak. And finally, share the show. It's the best gift you could give a few aging podcasters. See Brian. That really wasn't that difficult, now, was it? You're welcome.

Hey, you out there in the podcast universe. I'm dropping in to share with you a podcast that I am currently enjoying. I only agree to this a couple of times a year because Because let's face it, I really want all the attention on me and my show. But Odyssey, our network, has dropped a true gem. All right, some free word association here. Young adults looking to have the time of their life, billions of dollars in free flowing revenue, secret administrators who will do anything to avoid bad press and cover-ups with endless twists and turns. Put them all together, mix them up, and you've got the wild universe of college campus life. And now, the Odyssey Original podcast, Campus Files, takes a deep dive into some of the wildest scandals that have taken place within colleges and universities across this country. While these universities are attracting some of America's brightest minds, some of the most absurd things are happening there. The rigged admissions, the sports scandals, and of course, a good Greek Life drama. Who doesn't enjoy a good Greek Life drama? The Campus Files podcast is exposing the stories you will not hear on the campus tours.

Listen and follow Campus Files, an Odyssey original podcast available now on the free Odyssey app or wherever you're listening to podcasts. And thanks to Odyssey for supporting good content and great content creators. Okay, are you ready for some of the craziest news you will hear music-related, festival-related related. I think so. This year, or maybe ever. Do we all remember freaking the way fuck out back in 2020 when some douche canuzal, some scam artist, decided to put together something called Firefest? Yes. Okay. Yes, yes, yes. Firefest.

There's two documentaries about it.

The ignominious festival that never was. The best festival that never happened on the Pablo Escobar's private island with swimming pigs, Baloney sandwiches, and tents that weren't set up, and artists that didn't show. Basically, the total shit show that almost killed some people, honestly, left them out in the middle of this island without infrastructure, water, food, and certainly no festivals, certainly no music. This guy went to jail. He did. Because he raised a lot of money, and that money went where? No one really knows. It went to just trying to put together a festival that was clearly short of the mark, but short of any mark. This wasn't worthy of a dive bar, let alone an actual festival on a private island where people paid tens of thousands of dollars to get pampered for an entire five days. They didn't even get a pot to piss in. And lots of people were pissed, and lots of people were stuck, and lots of people were put in really tough situations, bad situations by this one guy. Now, let me tell you how this has to do with the commercial break. About three years ago, I get an email.

We're our own Firefest.

We're our own Firefest. Like mauls to a flame, shitheads beget shitheads. Because about three years ago, I started getting communication from a guy who claimed to be one of the new executive producers for Firefest 2.

Yeah, they're trying to bring it back.

They did bring it back. I mean, that's what they say, right? Let me give you the skinny on this. They have not announced one artist, because I'm sure no artist would attach themselves to this. Who would attach themselves to this? I don't know. I don't know either. But I can't imagine it's going to be anybody we're seeing. I'm sure that there is somebody out there who, if they get the money, they will go do because it's hard to make money in music. You know what I'm saying? Maybe they'll decide to do it. Okay. Three years ago, I started getting communication from a guy who will remain nameless, and he starts telling me that he would like to put this guy who had just gotten out of jail on our show. Oh, yeah. Could he come on our show? Do you remember this?

I do remember you saying that.

Okay. We communicate for a long time about this. We go back and forth I'm trying to make a decision about whether or not this makes sense for the show, whether or not we want to even get involved.

Yeah.

Was this before he went to jail? This was after he got out of jail. After he got out of jail. Okay. Remember, he only spent a year in jail. Fireface. Hold on one second. I want to make sure that I get some of these facts right. So this guy communicates with me for about a month, and he says, They're going to put together a prep show for Firefest 2 at a secret location somewhere in New York. If you allow Billy to come on your podcast, Billy McFarland, the guy who actually created this, the guy who went to jail, if you allow him to come on your podcast, then I can get you one ticket to this Firefest to prep concert, whatever. He was trying to put together a satellite show or something, right? Okay. They were going to make this big deal. I don't think that ever happened. You could get a ticket to that. I will get you one ticket to that at face value. Billy was going to come on the show, make an announcement about Fire Fuck Fest or whatever it was, too, Fire Scam Fest, too. Then I was going to have the privilege of paying Billy to go to his show, thousands of dollars to go to his show.

But then I couldn't say anything bad. I could ask questions, but I couldn't shit on Fire Fest, whatever. It became this long, complicated conversation where clearly this guy was trying to get money out of me. He was trying to get me to pay him to have Billy on the show. Now, you're probably saying to yourself, Brian, do you even think Billy was involved in any of these conversations, or is this just some guy who decided, I found a sucker, essentially. Well, I had been CCed on multiple emails with Billy, and Billy responded on at least one occasion. And while I don't know Billy's specific email address for 100%, sure seemed like it was Billy's email address. Let's just put it that way, right? Billy was trying to get money out of podcasters like me, I assume this, I'm not the only one, to then go and put his little shit Fest together, and he hadn't even paid back the people who got fucked over the first time. Oh, he was trying to raise the money? That's right. He's trying to make money. As a matter of fact, I think our good friend Andrew Callahan, if I'm not mistaken, All Gas, No Breaks, found Billy McFarland and found out that he was acting as a ticket broker for prestigious concerts and events, and he was making, trying to make thousands or tens of thousands of dollars, reselling concert tickets after he got out of jail.

They actually almost sent him back to jail because he wasn't allowed to do that. He was using other people's credit cards to do that or whatever it was. This guy is trouble. I mean, I get it. Second chances, I agree with it. I've had plenty of second chances in life myself. I'm sure I'll have a few more before I'm dead. The Commercial Break has had 30 second chances in its life. We are the little podcast that couldn't. But this guy, Billy, is notoriously dumb at what he does. If you pay for Firefest 2, you are just as dumb. Don't give this guy your money. Don't do that because he is going to disappoint you. There will be no Firefest 2 in the way in which he envisions it or tries to sell it to you. He's a good salesperson. He doesn't follow through on what he says he's going to do. Time after time. And he's always trying to build people out of money. That's clearly Billy's game. You want to take a guess at how much these tickets are?

Sure. For about $2,000.

For one Firefest General Access pass, it is $1,400. What does that get you, you might ask, Chrissy? The basics. I can't even get through this website because it's some complicated, slick website. I think there is also a level of tickets where you need to fill out an application. Fill out an application.

That's his thing, right? He tries to make everything seem very exclusive.

Yeah, very exclusive, indeed. Okay. For this, you will get... Access includes access to the festival grounds on Isla Mujeres at the water stage, transportation consultation will be provided from our preferred hotel locations. The Fire Ignite package grants four day access to the Firefest, May 30th through June second. Doesn't it seem like there's not a lot of time to be selling those tickets? No, there's not. Yeah, This is going to be a shit show, no doubt about it. You have to get your own travel. You have to get your own accommodations. But then there's another level of tickets, Christie, which I think is probably more suited to us. If we're going to go to Firefest, this is what we're going to do. We're going to do the Fuego VIP experience, the Fuego experience. We're going to do the Fuego experience, and what's that going to include? Let's see here. That is going to include access to- The fair grounds. Ila Mujeres, Ila Mujeres. We're going to get to explore, embrace the unknown, and Buy Impossible alongside some of the most fascinating people in the world. Oh, my God. I don't know what this gets you besides that.

Really? Access to the most fascinating people in the world?

Access to the most fascinating people in the world, and I'm paying 20. I am paying for that. I will pay... How much is that? That's $5,000. That's what I'll pay for that. A ticket? Yes. Your own exclusive getaway. But I can get the Phoenix Artist Access for $25,000. What? $25,000. Now, to be fair, this does include private travel. This website, by the way, Billy, is terrible. It's terrible. Who uses Flash anymore? Honestly, you're using Flash, dude. Stop it. Make a website that doesn't take up all the resources on your computer. Okay. Fire Phoenix package grants four-day Phoenix access to the Fire Festival. And that's all it says. What? Clearly, this can't be true. You don't get anything else but that?

Sounds like a deal to me.

Yeah. Fuck that. I'm not going to do that.

You don't even know who the artists are.

Phoenix passes include complimentary luxury accommodations for two in the fire artist's areas at the Five Star Impressions, Isla Mujeres, or the Five Star Almerari, Isla Mujeres, for three nights. One king or two doubles, private ground transportation to and from the Cancun airport or the fire ferry, and the fire concierge will reach out to the Phoenix Pass holders to assist with travel and accommodations. Okay, so you get your travel. Commercial flights are... Oh, you don't even get travel on this one. It says commercial flights are readily available in and out of the Cancun airport. Fuck you. Fuck you. So that's all I get?

I can't wait to see how this goes down.

Oh, now added, the Prometheus package for $1. 1 million. No. Yes. Prometheus guests will live like the gods of fire. Prometheus pass holders have their accommodations provided by fire, and they will have the option of a four-stateroom yacht or a luxurious four-bedroom villia with immediate proximity and access to play a fire and festival grounds for three nights from Friday to on Monday, the fire concierge will reach out to you to coordinate your ultimate stay. You will also be flown in and out on a private plane. I There's a sucker born every minute. I know that there's a sucker born every minute. I get it. I also get that there are going to be some people on this Earth who just can't pass it up. In the year of Dogecoin and Huketua, TuaCoin and all this other stuff. There are some people who have money who probably should have never had money, and they're willing to spend it just to be involved in something notorious like this. I do have a feeling that Billy will sell tickets to this, even though he has announced no artist. No one knows who's going to be there. And you're going to pay someone $1.

1 million to take a private plane down to Cancun and stay four, only four nights on a four-stateroom yacht? I promise you.

And what do you do? Fill out, just check, yes, I want this $1 million package. Here's my credit card. Yeah, run your Amex.

One run your Amex to Billy's personal zelle. Here's the number. That's right. I mean, honestly, guys, for $1. 1 million, you could rent a four-state room yacht in Cancun. You could fly privately, probably for $50,000. A nice plane for $50,000 down to Cancun. Atlanta to Cancun and back, a really nice plane, like a twelve-seater, like the kind you see in rap videos. You know what I'm saying? You get down there, you can probably rent a yacht for 20 days, fully staffed and go anywhere you want to in that Yucatan Peninsula and come home with $500,000 in your pocket. I promise you, it does not cost $1. 1 million to rent a yacht for four nights and be at a festival where no one's playing. There's no one announced. Why would you do that? I don't know, Billy. I'm sure that somebody likes him, but I'm going to tell you right now, Don't give your money to these people because you will end up being disappointed. Give the commercial break $1. 1 million, and we will turn off the RSS feed and the commercial break, you can put whatever name you want on it, and Christie and I will do an episode every day for the next five years just to you.

That's it. That's what you get for $1. 1 million. And I think that's a much better deal than staying on a yacht for four days in a festival that no one's going to play at. You know what I'm saying? Is it going to be 33 P acoustically? Who's going to play there?

I can't believe that he's doing this again.

I can't believe someone's letting him do this. I mean, I guess who's going to stop you from doing it? But I can't believe the people down in Mexico haven't seen the movies. They're not like, We should get a deposit. We should get a deposit from this guy.

Yes, surely they have.

Yes. I think that Billy is probably hedging his bet. He's waiting for people to buy tickets so that then he can pay artists to get down there. That's why he hasn't announced anybody. Because what festival in the world starts selling tickets in artists? I know that there's like, Bonnareo has been going on for the thousands of years, and it'll probably be the last thing remaining when the fucking, asteroid comes down to Earth. We'll probably all be at Bonnareo. And so they sell tickets year round, even before they announced. But they have a track record of treating you right. They have a track record of doing this. They have a track record of being successful at getting really fucking good artists year after year, time after time. Billy has zero track record of anybody even showing up to play on a stage. Why would you trust that he's going to give you the best experience ever? What is the experience? Being in a hotel in Mexico for $25,000? Yeah. Fuck you. Fuck you. I don't believe it. I don't take it. Can you believe this?

No, I can't believe this. That being said- And I can't wait to see how it ends.

That being said, I am going to email this guy that I was talking to a couple of years ago and see if we can get a couple of tickets to go down there. Because it was going to turn into a shit show. I want to be there. So we can document it all here on the commercial I'm sure a lot of people want to do that. Oh, yeah. Oh, you know there's going to be... Yeah, there's probably media requests out the ass. After this rant, I'm sure we won't be invited. But we'll try nonetheless. Okay, we'll take a break and we'll be back.

Rachel here. While Brian takes his old man bladder to the little boys room, let's talk turkey. Tcb needs your help. If you love the show, do us all a favor and share. Sharing is caring, and we know you care. Don't you? Well, don't you? That was some childhood trauma. Rearing its ugly head. Do you want to be on the show? Leave us a voicemail at 212-433-3822, and you could be the next TCB disembodied voice. What'd you do today? I was a disembodied voice. That sounds more dangerous than it actually is. Find us on Insta @thecommercialbreak. On the web at tcbpodcast. Com, and all the episodes on video are available the same day at YouTube com/thecommercialbreak. I'm going to go help Brian get back up the stairs while you listen to the sponsors, and then we'll all meet back here and get back to this episode of The Commercial Break. I'll take a raise now. Bitches, bye.

Okay, so I wanted to follow up on a conversation that we had a couple of days ago about the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Okay. The band is not Manya, it's Manna, and they are very famous Mexican rock and Roll band. Nice. Astrid saw them when she was a kid, and she really loved them. I got myself educated about them and their music. They're older. They're like the bad company, and not... They're like the Zeppelin. They're older. They're loved. They've got billions of streams on Spotify, so clearly, they're very popular. They are in this year's Rock and Roll nomination class, and That means that the academy, the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Academy or voting class, is currently voting on who should get in. I think they elect five every year, if I'm, induct five every year, if I'm not mistaken. Then you can vote. We, the public, can vote. Also, you can vote up to seven times.

Oh, I didn't realize we could vote.

Yeah, you can vote up to seven times. It might even be seven times per day. Go to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame website and vote. But I think there's a couple of thousand members that vote, I believe. But our vote only counts for one of those votes. It's almost a joke at the end of the day, right? I get why they're doing it, but you don't have any real effect on what happens. But I thought that I would get an update on where we stand with the voting. Oh, okay. With just a couple of days left to vote, I thought we should get in the game here, right? Okay. Currently, Fish are in the lead. After just a couple of weeks of voting, 101,000 1,000 fans have voted as one of the 14 nominating classes, at one of the 14 nominees for the class of 2025. This is the first time that the group has been nominated. Billy Idle is in second... There are so many people on this Earth aren't well. Billy Idle? Of all the people, Billy Idle?

Honestly? Yeah.

But maybe then you think about who the people are who would go to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame website and vote just like I did. I voted for Outkast, by the way. Sound Soundgarden is in third place with 57,000 votes, followed by Cindy Lopper, Bad Company, Joe Cawker, Chubby Checker, so far down the list. That's a joke. The Black Crows lead the back half of the list with 39,000. Mariah Carey, 36,000. Outkast is 35,000. Oasis is 32,000. Joy Division is 31,000, while the White Stripes are at 31,000.

Really? I'm surprised.

And Manna comes in with just 12,000. Artists, historians. Okay, so there's 1,200 people who vote, and ours counts as one vote. That's a joke. They should make it one artist. Allow the public to vote first. Whoever wins is inducted. Then the other people, the other 1,500 people, 1,200 people who vote on it, then they get to vote the other four. That feels like it would... Then it would then it was meaningful to me. I think you get a lot more people to vote on it if that was the case. Because I'm tallying all of that up. If you can vote seven times, maybe seven times in a day, and there's only like five or 600,000 votes that have been cast. That's not like a huge amount of votes that are being cast. But if they said, okay, now you're going to induct one of the five, then I would be much more involved in it. Yeah, I'd actually want to go and I agree that Fish should be inducted. It's their first class inductees if they do get inducted. I don't agree with the rest of the way that this is going down. Christie and I told you guys this.

Fish, Joe Cocker, Chubby Checker.

White Stripes.

White Stripes. Outkast. Outkast. Those are the people who absolutely need to be in. Soundgarden will come around again. They will be in.

Don't worry about it. I listened to that album the other day on my way home. Bad Motorfinger? Yeah.

Oh, Man, is it good? Oh, man, is it good? Life-changing, actually. Just the way that it's put- I thought of young Brian getting in the car, driving, listening to it. Oh, I didn't drive until I was... I didn't have a license until I was 18 years old.

You said you drove across the country listening to it.

I drove across the country with other people. Oh, but you weren't driving. No, I wasn't driving. With other people driving.

Oh, okay.

Yes. Yeah, but man, that was a transformative album. I just absolutely loved it. So, yeah, SoundCloud Garden will get in, and I agree that they deserve to get in. But Joe Cocker has had to. This has got to be his 30th time being nominated. I mean, for God's sakes, how many times are we going to nominate Joe Cocker before he gets in? Or Chubby Checker, even. He was around in the '50s. This has got to be his 30th year being nominated Chubby fucking Checker. He did the twist, kids.

Yeah, he started it. Or was that Little Richard? No, it was Chubby Checker.

What did Little Richard do?

Oh, tons of stuff.

Yeah.

Good golly, Miss Molly.

A good golly, Mr. Molly.

Tons. Tons of stuff. Sure got to go. Good girl, a mission, my life. Toody Fruity.

Toody Fruity, oh Rudy. A Toody Fruity, oh Rudy. I'm telling you why I did not like Toody Fruity. It's because when I was in the band playing my sexy phone, full of saliva and spit flying everywhere. When I was playing my sexy phone, I had to play Toody Fruity was one of the songs that we played at the football games. You did? Yes. How did that go?

Toody Fruity, No, but I'm thinking with the band. Yeah.

Yes. And that 150 times over and over and over again while they set up the next play, whatever they do in football. That's why Brian did his best to avoid Friday nights at the stadium in high school. Yeah, I was sick. I wasn't there. I was in disguise. I would not show up to the band, but I would show up to the game and not go in the stadium, so I couldn't be seen by my band director. I did everything I could to get out of those. Not because I was embarrassed to be in the band. It was neither here nor there. I wasn't particularly a popular kid in school anyway.

You just wanted to have fun.

I just wanted to have fun. I didn't want my Friday nights taken by...

What did you think it was going to be getting into the band? I thought it was going to be...

What do you think you were going to do in the band? You have sex? I don't know. I thought they were going to be hot band chicks playing the flute, and I was going to get in their first chair, if you know what I mean. I thought I was going to wet their read. Do you know what I'm saying? You did it for the looks. I had to take an elective. My parents encouraged us to do things outside of school, like any parents do. You try and a well-rounded person. I loved music. There was no doubt about that. I had a passion for it. I was playing that loud guitar horribly at home for hours on end. I think that I just wanted to direct that energy somewhere, and the band seemed like the natural place to do that. At least it got to play the instrument.

But not all the way.

But I didn't want to fully commit to everything the band had to do. I liked to go to Bush Gardens every year for the band camp, or whatever it was, a band challenge or whatever it was that cost my dad $10,000 so I to go and smoke cigarettes and avoid any responsibilities with the band for five days. I liked that stuff. But the Friday nights at football, years in a row, it was a little much for me. I actually wanted to see what the other kids were doing when I was sitting there. And then every year- Nothing like showing up in disguise to really hang out with them. I swear to God. I swear to God. I do remember a specific night, and my band director would get on my ass. His name was Mr. Pooh, and he was really a lovely guy, and he was just trying to guide a very wild child into some responsibility, and he could be tough. I think he was a man of a certain flavor, if you know what I mean. I think he liked other men. That's what I think. He was very affeminate in his movements, his actions, and his voice, but you were just as scared of him as you were of the your specialty football coach.

Because when he meant business, he meant business. He could get an ornory real quick, and it scared me a little bit. He would always like jerking on in my chain. He'd call me into the office, Where were you on Friday night. I'd be like, I was Mr. Pooh, I really was not. This is the third Friday night. You were not feeling good. The next Friday night that you're not feeling good, you're going to be leading scales in the class for the next two weeks. I didn't know my scales. So I didn't want to lead scales. No one wanted to lead scales. So I was like, oh, shit. And then so I remember one night I was stoned out of my brain. It was Friday night. The game started at 7: 30. It was like 6: 30, 6: 45. And I knew I had to go there, but I was too stoned to do it. I was just too stone. All my friends were going to the game. What did I do? I never wore a baseball cap. I still don't. Very rarely I wear a baseball cap. I put on a baseball cap, I put on some baggy I went in and I stood in the back.

I had no fun whatsoever. I was paranoid.

I can't imagine.

One of the girls in the band recognized me. She was like, Shouldn't you grab your saxophone? I was like, Huh? I didn't bring it. No, I don't think I understood what she said. She was like, I'm reading on this, you read on that. I was like, I ran. I ran out of the place. I was too scared. She kept my secret. Thank you very much for keeping Keeping a secret. That was sweet of her. Yeah, it was. But I'd say if there were like 10 home football, 7, 8, 10 home football games a year, Mr. Pooh was lucky if Brian showed up to two of them. Two of them. But I'll tell you what I did show up to. I always showed up to the graduation ceremonies, which were at the Atlanta Symphony Hall in these huge symphony hall. Huge, right? We would have to sit on stage and play that fucking song, the March of the Whatever. We would have to play that while every single graduating student came up and got their degree. Even though the school was much smaller. That's like four hours. Like two hours. It was like,. But I liked it because it gave me and my first chair of friend a chance to go downtown, smoke cigarettes around the building, and fuck off for a couple of hours.

Kids, that's really what's important in high school. Smoking cigarettes and fucking off for course, believe me.

More good advice from Uncle Brian.

Oh, yes.

The good old days.

Oh, man, the good old days. Honestly, I pined for that. You do? No, I don't Really. But I didn't realize how good it was back then to have a home that was paid for, electricity that came on no matter who paid the bill. I didn't have to worry about working. Work was essentially just for fun money. Smoking cigarettes wasn't going to kill you. They didn't know that back then. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Just like, I tell my kids all the time, don't try and grow up. Don't try and grow up. It's okay. Just enjoy it. Don't worry about the next thing. Don't worry about what mommy and daddy are talking about. Don't try and grow up.

It's just- Turn the lights off. Enjoy.

Yeah. Turn the lights off and go to fuck to bed. Stop throwing up on my shoulder.

Yeah.

Listen, you No, you get to a certain point in life and you realize just how good you had it back in the day. But I digress. The truth is, kids, I should have followed through on my responsibilities and shown up and played on Friday night football because that would have been the right thing to do. But then I wouldn't be the same lazy mediocre comedy podcaster I am today. No, you wouldn't. You wouldn't. That's right. Canceling recordings every fifth day. I don't want to do it today. 212 433 3TCB. 212 433 3822. That's where you can leave us text messages, questions, comments, concerns, content, ideas. We'd love to hear from you. We will respond. Or you can leave a voicemail, and maybe you'll hear your voice on the next episode of The Commercial Break. How's that? How's that for a deal? That's good. You don't have to sit that one out. Go. Leave us a voicemail. I'll cut it up in weird ways and make you sound strange. At The Commercial Break on Instagram, TCB podcast on TikTok. And do us a favor, go watch our show after you finish listening to our show. Youtube.

Com/thecommercialbreak. For all the episodes, the same day they are here on The Air Here on the audio feed. They air here. The Air Here. The Air Here hair. The Air Here hair on the audio feed and tcbpodcast. Com. All the audio, all the video, and your free T-C-B schwag. Give us your address. We'll send you some no must, no fuss. Okay, Christie, that's all I can do for today. I think so. I'll tell you that I love you. I love you. Best to you. And best to you. And best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Christie and I will say, we do say, and we must say goodbye.

All right, put them up.

.