Transcript of 12 Days Of TCB: A "Lifesyle" Christmas

Hey, Grissy. Best to you. Best to you, Brian. Best to you out there in the podcast universe, and happy holidays. Sometimes, podcasts like ours will take off a lot of time during the holidays, but not us. We're glutton's for punishment. We have the 12 Days of TCV coming at you, December 13th through the 25th. Brand new episodes every single day and live fresh episodes during the entire holiday season. As the great Clark Griswold once said, Holy shit, where's the Tylenol? Find it quick and join us this entire holiday season for brand new episodes of The Commercial Break.

Would you like a drink?

Well, I shouldn't, but I'll have one to keep you company.

Tea? Coffee? Vodka.

The next episode of the Commercial Break starts now.

There was more than one monster present at the birth of Jesus.

Oh, yeah, dancers and prancers. Welcome back to the final day of the 12 Days of TCB. That's actually the 13 Days of TCB that will be the 20 Days of PCB. Once we actually finish it. I'm Brian Green. This is my co-host and my dear friend, Kristen Joy-Hotley. Merry Christmas. Best to you, Chrissy.

Merry Christmas and best to you, Brian.

And Merry Christmas and best to you out there in the podcast universe. It's Christmas Day. You've hung in there with us all the whole time. We've been suffering silently here at the studio, but we are exhausted. But we're going to bring it home.

We've been working really hard like Santa's elves.

We have been working like Santa's elves, cobbling away, whittling away up in the The North Pole or the north of Atlanta, making brand new episodes of the Commercial Break every day for you. The fun does not stop as tomorrow and Friday, we will also have brand new episodes for you with some guests. We have some TCBM commercials, and then we'll be back with live episodes on New Year's Eve or fresh episodes on New Year's Eve and New Year's Day. I shouldn't say live episodes because that's not correct. I actually spent an hour today trying to explain to my son the difference between real and live because he is so young, he made the assumption that everything Everything that happens on television is live. He's like, Yeah, Daddy, when I watch Bluey, it's live, right? I'm like, No, that's not it. When you watch a basketball game, it's live. It's happening right now. He's like, But Bluey is happening right now, too.

I see the logic.

I do see the logic, too. And now I understand how hard fought every single little inch of your brain is as far as a victory is concerned. It really takes a lot to make that brain form. It does. Some of my kids get it quicker than others, but they take after their father. They take after their father. So Merry Christmas. I hope you're having a wonderful holiday. Hope you're enjoying with family, friends, or no one, if that's what you choose to do or if you celebrate something else. Maybe you're getting the day off work. Maybe you're going to have a meal. Maybe you're going to go watch a Christmas movie or just go to the theater and watch one of these fantastic movies that's out right now, Wicked, Gladiator, the Shark Version, or I don't know. What else is out there? Red One. What is it? Red One?

Baby Girl's Out.

What's Baby Girl?

It's with Nicole Kidman. Yes. I'm really excited to see it.

Oh, really? Oh, it's out? Okay.

Baby Girl.

There you go. Maybe that's out. Or maybe you're in the middle of the 24 Hours of a Christmas Story, which has got to be the sentimental favorite for best Christmas movie ever. National Lampoon's Vacation, Elf. We've talked about them all. There's a lot of them out there. Family Stone is one of my favorites, though it's on no one's top 10 list. It's okay. I like it.

You know what I'm saying?

I look forward. Obviously, we're not recording this on Christmas I look forward to celebrating with my family. The kids will open the Santa Claus presents. That is pure fucking joy.

It is pure joy. When to see the kids open presents is just so amazing and so wonderful.

I realized when my first child When he was one, he could open up the presents. He ripped up, but he didn't understand what was going on. When he was two, he started to get excited about opening up presents and seeing them. When he was three, I think, and now that most of my kids are reaching the age of that age. They all understand what Santa Claus is. They all understand what presents is. I'm being real sentimental and sincere when I say there is no joy like watching a child open up a gift that they really want. It is just like magic. I wish that they would stay this age forever, yet I can't wait till they get old enough to wipe themselves. That's all I asked for. Could they wipe themselves and stay this age forever? That would be fantastic. Yeah, really exciting. Here we are, Christmas Day. Here we are. We're We're going to continue with Frankie B and his dating traps with his lifestyles and all that other stuff. We're going to continue with that after the break. But I thought I would take a moment, Christie. Earlier in the 12 Days of TCB, we reviewed the top 20 Christmas movies as determined by town and country.

Don't ask me how I came up on that list. The experts. The experts, of course. But I think the real experts would probably be Rotten Tomato because they take thousands, tens of thousands, millions of ratings from different users around the web. That's a top source.

I would trust.

I do normally trust this Rotten Tomato.

I looked at that movie I was telling you about earlier. The holiday one with James Gendolfini, and it had 8% Rotten Tomato.

Well, I remember this movie coming out. I remember briefly seeing a commercial for it.

It's got Christina Afflegate and Katherine O'Hara and Ben Affleck.

You would think all of those people together would make a good Christmas movie. But we've already seen that when Ben Affleck's in a Christmas movie, he usually doesn't do all that well. Let's be honest. What's the other one he's in? Four Christmases? Is that him in Four Christmases?

No. That's Vince Fon.

That's Vince Fon? Well, Vince Fon.

Hot in that movie. He is so hot in that movie.

Oh, you like Vince Fon?

Oh, my God.

Yes. But at the very start of that movie, when they get in a fake fight, I've never seen anything hotter in my life. I implore you on this Christmas to go watch the first five minutes of Four Christmases.

Okay. All right. I love Vince Vawn. That's a I'm going to quickly think of Four Christmases as a movie I need to watch, but okay.

Just the first five minutes. Because it's what?

Jennifer Anaston with them? Reese Witherspoon. Reese Witherspoon, that's right.

But you know what? I am looking for a new Christmas classic to put in my repertoire. I haven't had one in a long time. I think 8-bit Christmas has become a good one to watch. 8-bit Christmas- I have not seen that one. This is so you and I because it's 1980 something, right? Even though, yeah, it's probably around the time, the first Nintendo has come out. They're in Chicago and they want a Nintendo for Christmas. It's a group of kids, and how they bleed with their parents, and how they try and get the money together, and how they're trying to raise money to do all this other stuff. It's one of these movies. It's seen from the kid's point of view, but it's made, I think, for adults. It's really good. Made by HBO. It's on max right now. 8 Bit Christmas. It's an easy watch. It's an hour and 30 minutes long.

Does it make you cry? No. Because you like the crying.

I do like the crying. Why? What's wrong with crying?

No, no. Feel free to cry. That's not my style.

You don't like movies that make you cry?

I don't like Christmas movies that make me cry.

No, 8 Bit Christmas is not going to make you cry. I can promise you this.

I mean, if 8 Bit Christmas makes you cry, then I think something's weird with you.

Okay, ready? Rotten Tomato. Yeah, let's go. Top 35. I'm going to go through these really quickly, and then we'll get to Frankie B. Top 35 Christmas movies of all time. Number 35, A Muppet's Christmas Carol with 86% fresh or 86% popcorn or whatever you call it. I don't know.

It's fresh.

No. Actually, they're doing this by the Critics score. So this is the Critics.

Oh, yeah, you can sort by users or Critics.

You know by the time we get to the top five, it's going to be terrible and no one watches them. The Muppets Christmas Carol gets a 77% by the Critics. Ding.

Christmas Eve at Miller's Point gets a 78.

Christmas Eve at Miller's Point. I do think I've watched this one time before. Miller's Point. And I thought it was terrible. All right. Anna and the Apocalypse with a 77.

Anna and the Apocalypse is a Christmas movie? What the fuck are you talking about?

Bad Santa, number 32. Bad Santa is a good movie. Probably number 32 is where it stands in my mind, too. Ready for this? A Christmas Story, number 31. How is that true?

Yeah, I mean, I don't know. My mom would probably agree with that.

Yeah, I know. I don't think the critics have ever liked this movie. I think it's just the people who like the movie.

I think we're nostalgic for it.

People must like it. They play it 24 fucking hours a day from Christmas Eve to Christmas. That gets a 79%. The Man Who Invented Christmas. This is exactly the type of shitty British period piece that Critics like. Number 30 comes in at The Man Who Invented Christmas. The author Charles Diggens, is in financial trouble. Whatever. All right. While You Were Sleeping comes in at number 29. While You Were Sleeping. I remember watching I think it's okay. That's good. That's number 29.

Batman Returns.

What?

Yes, Batman Returns.

I think this is movies that came out during the Christmas time. Batman Returns comes in at 82%. Batman Returns, of course, the only turn that Michael Keaton took as Batman. The Happiest Season comes in at number 27. Never seen it. Who's that with? Kristen Stuart, Mackenzie Davis.

Have you seen this? I have seen that. It's pretty good.

I haven't I haven't seen it, but I think it's lesbian.

Pretty good. Kristen Stewart, Mackenzie Davis, Mary Stea version.

But one of them can't know that they're really together. Right.

One of them is not telling the family. Like not telling the family.

Very lesbian Christmas. Happy season. Okay, 27. Number 26, Elf. I would have put that a little bit higher. I would have, too. Gremlins comes in at number 25. Not in my Christmas classics, but okay. It's a fun movie.

It does take place during Christmas.

It does. A Christmas tale with Katherine, this must be a French movie. A sharp black comedy about a chaotic family gathering, A Christmas Tale is always involving, thanks to an impressive ensemble cast. It's when the French Steely Matriarch learns she has This is the story that Christie doesn't want to watch this. 23, Kiss, Kiss, Bang, Bang, which is a great movie. It is. But I do not consider it a Christmas movie. I like this, though. Robert Downey Jr, Val Kilmer, Michelle Moynihan, Corbin Burnson. Trading Places, we have forgotten about this one.

All Hale Trading Places.

All Hale Trading Places.

That is a good one.

This is a fantastic Christmas flick, 89% by the critics, featuring Left interplay between Eddie Murphy and Dan Aykroyd. Trading Places is immensely appealing social satire. Yes, it is.

Looking good, Brian Green.

Thank you. Feeling good.

Feeling good, Chrissy Honey.

That's right. Yes. Better watch out. Married by its charismatic young cast, Better Watch Out is an adorably sinister holiday horror film. 89%. Holiday horror.

Leave it up to Rotten Tomatoes. I don't know if I'm into the holiday horror either.

I'm sorry. I need to make a change here. Number 31 was not a Christmas story. It was a Christmas Story, Christmas, the sequel that recently came out.

Yeah, that wasn't that good.

I watched it, and I got to say, good try.

Good try.

Hitting all the notes.

It had a lot to to live up to.

It did have everything to live up to, and it fell just short. And according to the critics, not that much shorter because it comes in at number 20. Number 20 is the original Christmas story, warmly nostalgic and darkly humorous, Christmas Story deserves its status as a holiday perennial. Based on the humorous writings of author Jean Sheppard, this beloved holiday film follows the Wintry, exploits of Ralphie and his brother. Okay. Rare exports A Christmas tale. Rare exports. Rare exports. Oh, this is an Asian flick, I believe. Oh, no. This is not... I don't know, the Scandinavian, I think. Whatever. Edward Scissorhands, number 18. Never thought of that as a Christmas flick, but okay. The first collaboration between Johnny Depp and Tim Burton, Edward Scissorhands is a magical modern fairy tale with Gothic overtones and a sweet center. I agree, but I I don't think it's a Christmas movie. All right, Jingle Jangle, A Christmas Journey.

Jingle Jangle, A Christmas Journey comes in at number 17 with 91%, Forrest Whitaker, Keegan Michael Key, Hugh Bonneville, and Anika Noni Rose.

It celebrates the Yuletide season with a holiday adventure whose exuberant spirit is matched by an uplifting message. Okay, never seen that, but maybe I will. Tokyo Godfathers comes in at number 16. Beautiful and representative, Tokyo Godfathers adds a moving and somewhat unconventional entry to the Animated Christmas canon. Oh, that sounds like something I might get into. Animated. Animated. I like... Yeah, no, I might watch that. Arthur Christmas comes in at number 15. I never was into Arthur.

Oh, the Arthur movies.

Yeah, the Arthur movies.

They're funny, but I didn't even realize there was a Christmas one.

There's a lot of them, and I'm not into it. Little Women comes in at number 14, thanks to a powerhouse lineup of talented actress. Gillian Armstrong's take on Louisa May Alcott's Little Women provides that a timeless story can succeed no matter how many times it's told with Winona Ryder, Gabriel Byrne, and Samantha Mathis. Okay. I don't think I ever saw that movie. Was it good? That's good, yeah. Did you like it? Little Women? Okay. The Apartment comes in at number 13 with Jack Lemon, Shirley McClane, Ray Walston, and is directed by Billy Wilder. Billy Wilder's customary cynicism is leavened here by tender humor, romance, and genuine pathos. Whatever the fuck that means, I don't think I'll be watching that this Christmas. The guardians of the Galaxy holiday Special movie comes in at 12 with 94%? More of stocking stuff for than a fully rounded-out parcel. This Yuletide excursion is a delightful showcase for Drax, Mantis, and a very game, Kevin Bacon. Wow. Okay. My kids will love that. I'll put that on. Number 11, I believe this is the right call. At number 11, Christie, comes Die Hard. Die Hard. Die Hard is a fantastic Christmas movie.

It's the gift that keeps on giving. It is great no matter when you watch it. Bruce Willis at his finest in Die Hard. It says here, there are many imitators and sequels but never have come close to matching the thrills and definitive holiday action of the original Die Hard, starring Bruce Willis. Okay, here we go. Into the top 10. You ready? Yes, ready. Now, there's a lot of movies that we that we've already talked about. Now we get into the critics being critical and actually trying to discern what's good or what's bad. This is not based on popularity. This is based on the critics. It's a Wonderful Life at number 10. I like the movie. I think I would put it in my top 10. I think 10 is the right number. 94%, the holiday classic to define all holiday class.

Have you watched it this year?

I watched a little bit of it with my kids. They were not interested, so we turned it on to Bluey. Carol comes in at number 9. Carol. Shaped by Todd Haynes' deft direction and powered by a strong cast led by Kate Blanchette and Rooney Mara, Carol lives up to its groundbreaking source material. What is this about?

Oh, my God. Carol, another lesbian love story.

Another lesbian love story. It's incredible. Is it? When was this made? 2015. Yeah. Okay. All right. It gets a 94 on the critic score here. Klaus comes in at number 8. Klaus. Beautifully hand-drawn animation and a humorous-Oh, yeah. Klaus. Yes. This is one that's on our saved list, so this might become a holiday classic for us. We'll see. Number 7. I do not agree with this whatsoever, but okay, Tim Burton's The Nightmare Before Christmas. A stunningly original and visually delightful work of stop motion animation. I do like it. I don't think it gets-I need to rewatch that.

Yeah.

Okay, let's see here. Number 6, Little Women. Another version of Little Women. Yes. Stellar cast and smart, sensitive retelling of a classic source material, Greta Gerwig's Little Women.

That one was really good. That does beat out the other one with the headway.

That's the one with Emma Watson. Mm-hmm. Okay. Eliza Scanland. Okay. Emma Watson.

Is she in that?

This is the 2019 version of Little Women. Is Emma Watson in that? I I think so. I just forgot about your- Yeah, it says right here.

I was mostly focused on Searsha Ronan and Florence Pew.

Who are both in the movie also. Okay. Number six. I don't think I've ever seen this. I don't think I've ever seen either version.

It's a really good one.

So maybe I'll watch it. Miracle on 34th Street, the '47 version. Oh, that's a good one. Okay, irrefutable proof that gentle sentimentalism can be a chief ingredient in a wonderful film. It's old, but it's sweet. Yeah, it's old, it's sweet. I mean, it's really old. It plays a little slow, but I think if you watch it, if you've never seen it, you'll find it to be delightful. Tangerine.

What?

After hearing her boyfriend/pimp cheated on her while she was in jail, a transgender worker at her Hold on one second.

Transgender worker during the holidays, something or other. Tangerine, I do remember when this came out.

Okay, I need to watch that.

The guy who directed this, Sean Baker, also directed, I think it's Sunshine Nine State, and that was a movie about kids that live in a motel right outside of Disney World.

I watched that. That was depressing.

Yeah, it was depressing, but it was wonderfully acted, and it was made, obviously, on the cheap. You can tell, but I liked the tone and texture of the movie. Tangerine, I think, is another film by the same guy, and apparently is wonderful. I think it was nominated for Oscars. Number three is the most recent addition to this list, The Holdovers, starring Paul Giamani. Oh, it's so good. Is it really?

Yes, I loved that.

But it'll make you cry, right?

No? I mean, it's sweet. There's sweet parts of it, but it's good. I love Paul Giamani, anything that he does.

He is so fucking good and has been good in almost every single thing that he has done. The Shop Around the Corner gets a rousing 99% directed by Ernst Loomstick from a smart and a funny script. The Shop Around the Corner is a romantic comedy in the finest sense of the term. That is number two. Never seen it.

Never heard of it. What year did it come out?

Is it older? 1940. 1940.

Yeah, 1940. That sounds like it.

In, was it Sorry, that rom-com with Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks, You've Got Mail. Oh, yeah. When she has the shop around the Corner, it's a reference to that.

Okay, there you go. Christina, putting it all together for us. I'm a rom-com girl. You are a good addition to this studio. All right, and number one, are you ready for this? You're never going to guess. Meet Me in St. Louis gets 100%.

Oh, Meet Me in St. Louis.

A disarmingly charming musical led by an outstanding cast with Judy Garland, Margaret O' Ryan, Meet Me in St. Louis offers a holiday treat for all ages. It's a classic MGM romantic musical comedy that focuses on Four Sisters.

I'm surprised White Christmas isn't in that list.

I'm surprised White Christmas isn't in that list anywhere. Christmas Vacation is not in the top 35. At least White Christmas might be there. Oh, White Christmas is number 36. Oh, okay. So there you go. Christmas Vacation is not in there, but you don't expect Christmas Vacation to get any respect from the critics. But there's a couple of movies that you would think would be much higher up on there, and I wouldn't think that that would be number one, but okay, it's number one. All right, Frankie B, we're going to get back to him. We're in the middle of his dating track. Rock it. Rock it. But first, I would like to tell you about our fifth and final charity we are discussing here on the commercial break to shed a little light and hopefully grab a few bucks out of your pocket to do some good this holiday season, and certainly during the 12 days of TCB, and that is DAV, Disabled American Veterans. This is an organization who, unlike some other very famous veterans organizations out there spending a ton of money on marketing, do not spend all their money paying their CEO and having parties.

These men and women, they provide food, shelter, and assistance to Americans who fought on our behalf and came back a little less than on the way. They came back different. They came back hurt, injured, disabled in some way, shape, or form. It's a huge problem. Now, whether you believe in the war or don't believe in the war, the fighting or the not fighting, that doesn't make a difference because once it's done, they come back and they desperately need our help, and they should be the first ones in line to receive it because they have done at least, at least, altruistically They're trying to do their part to keep us safe and free in the United States. No matter how you politically feel, no matter how you feel about war or fighting, we must take care of our veterans. They're most in need. This is an organization that I've done some research on, and I feel strongly the money is going to the right place. Dav. Org. Christina is going to put a link in the show. Donate to any of the causes that we've been talking about for the 12 days of TCB. God bless our men and women who are away this holiday season, fighting for our freedom.

Let's take a break and we'll be back.

What do you mean you don't know our phone number? I only tell it to you twice a day, four times a week. Fine. If you insist, I will tell it to you again. It's 212-433-3TCB. That's 212-433-3822. And don't you forget it. Now, in case you can't remember, our Instagram handle is @thecommercialbreak. A tough one, I know. Our TikTok handle is @TCBpodcast. And that one is the same our website, tcbpodcast. Com. And one last thing, go to youtube. Com/thecommercialbreak for all of our video episodes. Got it? Good.

I'm Anna Garcia with True Crime News The Podcast. Every crime tells a story. Every story demands justice. True Crime News, the podcast, covers breaking crimes, investigating high-profile and under-the-radar cases. Every week, we dive beyond the headlines, exploring the effects of violent crimes on victims and search for justice. We hope you join us as your weekly source for True Crime News. Listen to and follow True Crime News, the podcast on the free Odyssey app or wherever you get your podcast.

We're back.

Celebrating Christmas with you.

Aren't you excited? Look how excited everybody is. I think we're just excited that this fucking shit is over. No, actually, like I said, I think this has actually been a ton of fun. I look forward to, hopefully, repeating it in 2025 if our work continues to employ us. Yeah, this has been a ton of fun. We got a very nice gift from our network, by the way. We did.

Oh, I got mine. They've all been very sweet.

We don't talk about them a whole lot because we just don't talk about our networks a whole lot unless they don't pay us, and then we talk about them a whole bunch. But our network is And while we're added, the Odyssey has a great app you can listen to podcasts on, local radio stations. I think they're going to even include video coming up here very soon. If you want a new app to listen to your stuff on, the home of the commercial break is Odyssey. It's a free app, free to download, free to listen to us. There's no noise gate. Listen to us anywhere you want to, but I'm just giving a shout out to Odyssey because they're very good to us. I've been snacking on the stuff that they gave us for Christmas. There you go. Hey, there you go.

All right.

So yesterday on Christmas Eve, we gifted you with the only present we could think to give all of our listeners that would satisfy the entire crew, and that would be a brand new Frank Bernardo video. Bernardo video. I've been saying Bernardo for the longest time. Me, too. It's Bernardo. Frank Bernardo is our lovely Cudlable. Cudlable? Cudlable?

Yeah.

How do you say that?

Our large-necked friend.

Our large-necked, leather-necked friend. I'm just looking at him.

He's got veins in his chin. I know. Yeah, you've been working out too hard when you have veins in your chin.

He's an expert.

He's an expert in all things fitness, fashion, fun, and? Lifestyle. Lifestyle. Sile, Chris. It's lifestyle. Please get it right. If you're going to be Franky, talk like Franky. All right, so let's get back to it. We are in... This is video number two. We reviewed three. Now we're going backwards to two. Video number two of Franky B's Dating Traps. He says that he put these three videos together because it was in such popular demand that he had to do it.

All right, okay.

He's in his car for this one. So if there's a little background noise, it's not our fault, it's his fault. They don't represent the-Oh, wait, hold on. That's yesterday. That's another video altogether. All right, let's press play on that one, and hopefully it'll work.

So back by popular demand. Several of you have reached out to me via email on my Dating Trap video.

Yeah, those are commercial break listeners, and they're just poking you along. Hey, commercial break Listeners, email Frank Binardo and tell him, despite the fact that he has a girlfriend, we desperately need content ideas.

Now, if you haven't seen the Dating Trap video, I'm going to put one on the screen at the very end of this video.

He never does that.

He never quite figured that out, by the way.

So many of his videos are... He mentions other videos and so many of his videos, and he says he's going to put a link to them. He never does this.

You might want to watch that.

By the way, 100% safe to be driving down the highway filming yourself.

I'm putting together- Look out Greater Chicagoland area for a large necked guy driving a brand new Tesla. A string of dating advice and dating trap videos. This is mostly structured for guys in their 50s and 60s who are not used to dating, who forget what it's like to date.

I don't think there's anything structured about your content, Franky. I think the only content creators with less structured content is the commercial break.

Most of us have been in a relationship for years and years and years.

Look at that neck. No, it's bulging. That is cherry red tomato. Yeah, it's bulging. It's cherry red. Unbelievable.

Unfortunately, we get thrusted back into the dating scene and...

Thrusted. Thrusted.

I put an E.

D. On the end of it, Chrissy. That's how we do it in a Greater Chicagoland area.

You forget. You got to overlook all the excitement of meeting a new woman and pay attention to the details.

Her dits, her ass, the important In this video, I'm going to give you a few details that you need to watch off for so you don't get caught. I'm going to explain exactly what my last girlfriend did to me so you don't get caught up in the same trap.

In the dating Trap. Rocket.

Rocket.

That's my favorite part.

By the way, the people in that bucolic fucking suburb of Chicago must love it that he's bowling wheelies in the kids parking lot of the local park.

Lifestyle, biking, fashion, golfing, trees, fitness, pumping iron, tits.

Oogling, girls. Lotion, parasailing, walking away from the camera.

What is going on, everybody? Welcome to today's video. If this is your first time here, my name is Frank Bernardo, and this channel is geared for all guys who want to up their game, I can feel better.

Here's the worst part about this whole video. Not only is he driving down the highway, filming this video, staring at the camera, but he most obviously does not have a phone holder. He is actually holding it with his hand. He's done this before. I know. This is so unnerving, actually.

In groomy fitness, fashion, and lifestyle. Every once in a while, we're going to sprinkle in dating advice.

I mean, every once in a while, every second video or so.

I was going to say, they're all about dating advice.

Hey, listen, Chrissy, when the audience says, This is what I want, this is what I'm going to give you. Give them what they want, Chrissy.

To get dating advice from someone who is actually dating. I'm not the guy that's going to read a bunch of material.

I'm not a reader, per se. I'm not a guy who's going to look at words, Chrissy. I'm going to give you the actual on the ground, in the streets, in the bed, action.

That's right.

When I'm giving you thrusts, I know about the thrust. I've thrusted myself. When I say thrusted, it comes straight from my brain. I thrust it.

Stand up in front of this camera and pretend I know what I'm talking about. You're going to get actual life dating experiences. I mean, that's the way it should be from someone who experience- That's the way it should be.

Gold, Jerry. It's gold.

Gold standard.

This is it. Day to day. So at any time during this video, you like what you're seeing, you like- At any time you need to throw up, there's a barf bag provided in the front of your seat. What you're hearing, do me a favor, hit the subscribe bell so you don't- Subscribe.

Everybody subscribe.

That's so sususugrime.

Any of my upcoming videos. And one more thing.

Studio. If you do like this video, you could do it now.

You can wait till a little bit later.

Please give the- You can do it at three o'clock. You could do it at four o'clock. If you want to come back at five o'clock, set an alarm, do it at seven o'clock. After you eat, before you eat, don't take a shower, take a shower. I don't care. I want to do it at minute number one, minute number four, minute number seven. Hit the subscribe button. Thanks. Appreciate it.

Thumbs up because it'll definitely help this channel grow, and I would greatly appreciate it.

Let's jump right into it. I think the first trap- Let's jump right into it.

Minute number seven of the video.

What you need to avoid is when How would you meet a girl, there's a lot of excitement going on. You can go on quite a few dates. The excitement is always going to be there in their look, maybe their sexiness, their sex appeal, I know.

He's getting a blood.

I know. Look at him. He's all excited.

Dress, the way they carry themselves.

He's overpowering his Botox.

That's beautiful. That's It's really something to get excited about. You don't run into that type of a woman every day. So when you do, yeah, the adrenaline is pumping, but you got your semen eggs ready to go.

You're going to have- Your hair follicles are planted.

That's right.

You're... Franky's hair follicles are yelling and screaming. You got loads ready and all tied up, ready to rack.

That woman, if her attitude doesn't match the sex appeal and the beauty of that woman, that's a trap.

Chrissy, I've said this before and I'm going to say it again.

If she's not on your knees, blowing you the second you walk in the door, things are, something's wrong.

It's not matching.

It's not matching. That sex appeal is not matching her mouth appeal. You know what I'm saying?

Now, if she starts bossing you around, telling you what to do.

Being the dominant one in the conversation, you're not allowed to overtalk her.

You're not allowed to give an opinion. After a time or two, you got to start to wonder, all right?

Because, gentlemen- You got to start to wonder. Is this the woman that's ever going to shut the fuck up? Am I going to be allowed to watch football go golf, and take vacations to Las Vegas without a lot of yammering? Or is this girl just going to keep talking? Now, if you ask my opinion, I'd prefer them without mouths. But a lot of guys like the mouths. That's just the way it is. I don't know. I'm old school. I'm old school. What can I say?

Trends are trends. If it starts out that way, all right?

It usually- Trends are trends, meaning they come and they go.

Trends are is going to end that way.

I don't want you to get caught in the trap of being caught up in the beauty and the attitude and the personality doesn't equal the beautiness of the The beautiness.

The beautiness. It's a word I just made up in my own little noget right there. I got words. I got the best words. All the words. Look at that. My beautiness. He is such a chauvinist. He really is.

Totally. You know what he's saying? If a woman talks too much, if she has an opinion, if she's opinionated about something- Or argues with him, I think. Yeah, even disagrees in any way, shape, or form.

Because ultimately, it's a failure. It's a real failure. I would give her two, maybe three chances. After that, if she's persistent in her dominance and the way she acts, it's going to stay that way. Do yourself a favor. Get out of that relationship. You don't want to get out of that relationship. Why? Because, oh, my God, now I got to go through the whole- If she's asking for an orgasm also, and you've already finished, Christie, it's trouble.

It doesn't fit, it doesn't match. Your sexiness needs to match her ability to shut the fuck up and do what you want her to. If she does that, then you give her a chance. One, maybe two times she gets out of line. Okay, I understand. Women are wild. You never know what they're going to do. But if she keeps on yammering, Christie, pull the plug immediately. I'm telling you right now, it's nothing but trouble. It's a trap. It's like a little wolf trap. Just get you. It gets you right in the leg.

Never let you go. It's a beautiness trap. Or what did he say?

It's beautiness.

That's what it is.

It doesn't match the beautiness. If her mouth doesn't match the beautiness, then you're out.

Well, the thing again, Hey, take a chill pill, all right? There's plenty of women out there. Don't be afraid.

There's plenty of empty vessels you can take.

If you have to move on from relationship. All right? Do it. Get back on the dating app. You'll forget about her as soon as the next one comes.

Just take my- Do you know how easy it is to date in 2024? There's literally people dropping from the sky. You'll have no picking up another girl. If she's got an opinion, let her go.

Don't feel sorry for yourself. Move on. Don't dwell on it all day. Carry on with your date and stop looking on the dating app. Is someone coming after me? Is someone texting me? Is somebody want to contact me? If you do that, it's not going to happen.

Is he just driving around the loop of the city? Yes, he is.

Because I'm seeing the same building over and over again, by the way. And I know Chicago. All right, so first of all, second of all, here's Where's the music I imagine is playing in Franky's head.

He went from, If her beauty doesn't match her mouth, then you got to let her go. Don't worry about it. Plenty of other girls are there. If you're on the dating apps all day long looking for girls, you're doing it the wrong way. I mean, he has made no points whatsoever. It's not a dating trap, Franky. It's your personal opinion. It's your personal preference to have a woman who is not strong character. That's Okay, listen, it takes all kinds. There's plenty of men and women who are not dominant in any situation, let alone in a relationship. That's fine. But the way that you're presenting this makes it seem like all guys should be dominant to submissive women. If they're not, then that's a bad fit altogether. You're really painting a very broad stroke here, if I'm being honest.

Here comes that same building again.

Look at that. I know. I'm telling you, he's just driving the loop. He is.

Trust me, it will.

Oh, he's stopping at the He's stopping at a gas station.

He's going to do his show.

That's insane. The camera is now turned around. He's getting his Dunkeys. This is not the first time Franky has done this.

No. Franky has been in other car rides where he stopped to get his Dunkin' Donuts coffee, and he's also randomly just all of a sudden he's, I'm going to go eat lunch.

I'll be back.

Yeah, and it shows him walking to the door. That's right. Then out.

What do you want to help you? Can we have a large hot coffee? Black.

Anything else? Large hot coffee.

He's like, Why is No, it does not sound like the Duncan Donuts.

Hot and black like I like my ladies.

No, that'll do it. Okay, three, two, and go.

All right.

He filmed the menu.

He filmed the menu. The drive-through menu. This episode is sponsored by Duncan Donuts. This showvinism is sponsored by Duncan Donuts.

I passed up the donuts. I passed up the bagels.

What do you want?

A fucking award, you Jack hole.

See that?

Okay, you're not human.

Can we get it?

Your follicles are fake, your Botox is on point, your neck is huge, and you don't eat donuts.

I passed up all the bad stuff. Vacation season is coming. You better be in 8 for vacation season because when you go on a vacation, when you're on these trips, what's everybody doing? Well, they're looking at you and they're going to...

Are they?

Do you know how proud my children are of me? They love seeing these videos come out. My five daughters love these videos. They think it's the greatest. We love you, dad. That's what they say. We love you, dad. We're going to commit you to an institution, dad. I hope I'm in the will, dad. That's what What did he say?

I say nothing to you, but if you're out of shape or whatever have you, they're probably- I wasn't going to say anything to you, but if you're out of shape, I wasn't going to say anything to you.

Who are you talking to? He's on FaceTime I know. I wasn't going to say anything to you, but you could lose a few pounds if you're not seeing. You could skip the D of D, if you know what I mean.

They're thinking it.

Who's thinking it?

Dating trap number two.

Oh, he's got another from an angle.

Oh, yeah, he's going.

First we were right to left, now we're left to right.

That's a Mercedes Benz, by the way.

Pay special attention to. Narcism.

Now, right.

Kettle. It's the pot. I'm just giving you a ring to have a smart conversation.

Also, aren't these the same things he brought up in the other video? Yes. The exact same thing. Why did this need three parts, brother?

Christina, I mean, you've been with us for a long time, but not the entirety of the commercial break. Christie and I know this because we know Franky so well, especially in that season two and three when we did so many of these videos. He is ultimately makes no fucking point. He says the same thing over and over again using different words. And made up words. Yeah, made up words. He makes them up. As many words as his little brain can figure out. I mean, honestly, this guy is such a dudnik.

Usually get the best rap for being narcissist, but can't a woman be a narciss? Absolutely 100% they can.

My name isn't Dr. Franke.

How can you tell if they're a narcissist? I'm going to give you a few signs right now. Oh, here we go.

Oh, here we go. All right, well, let's do this. Why don't we take a short break? Before we let all the fun roll out in just one take, why don't we take a short break and then we get back, we'll do the rest of this. Please donate to today's 12 Days of TCB Cause. It's our fifth and our final, and it's a good one. Disabled American Vets. Dav. Org. We'll put a link in the show notes. They provide food, housing, assistance, medical needs for veterans who come back wounded or otherwise not feeling all that great. They're doing great work. I've never seen a commercial for DAV, which tells me that most of the money is going straight to the cause intended, which is the disabled veterans that fight for our freedom. All right, we'll be back.

Holidays getting you down? Family acting out of pocket? Text us and tell us all about it at 212-433-3-TCB, or leave us a voicemail with all of the unhinged and/or spicy details. Then follow us on Instagram at The Commercial Break, and on TikTok at TCB Podcast if you need a laugh or an escape. You can always escape for a full hour and watch our YouTube videos at youtube. Com/thecommercialbreak, while you simultaneously peruse our website, tcbpodcast. Com, to find out all there is to know about Brian and Chrissy. Now, let's hear from our sponsors so we can afford the holidays this year.

All right, here we go into the homestretch, girls.

We're on our way. All right, Frankie B is back, giving us the second of what I'm sure will be three incredibly informative Dating Trap tips.

He's talking about how we can tell a woman is a narcissees. Let's go.

The biggest sign is if you question them, if you question a narcisse, and they get all excited, angered, puffy, and puffy, and start yelling and screaming at you, How dare you question me? Just in In that content, what would a nice- In that content, what I meant to say was context, but in that content, are you noticing how beautiful my teeth are?

Because I paid a lot of money for those teeth.

Yes, he did.

Those dentures are on point, Franky. I love them.

Are you noticing that one of his eyes is like... First of all, his teeth are very, very straight. I mean, incredibly straight.

They're veneers.

Yeah, obviously. Then one of his eyes is a different color than the other one. Am I right about that? Maybe. No? Okay, I'm colorblind, so I don't know. I think the other reason why he turned around the camera is because he doesn't want you to realize.

See that the same stuff is passing by the window.

The same stuff is passing by over and over again.

He's got to hold his coffee in that hand. He's got to get his donkey.

At first, I thought he might be driving a Tesla that might be self-driving itself, but then I recognized that this is actually a Mercedes Benz. They do not self-drive themselves. It just does. You don't need to talk. Brian, you don't need to say self-drive yourself. It already knows. Self-driving is a descriptive word.

All right?

Now I sound like Frankie Boop. Now we're all going to hell in a It's been a long Christmas.

Yeah, it's the beautiness of it, though. The beautiness of it.

They will talk over you. They will give you, or they will try, they will try to give you the fear that how dare you question them? Because what they do, how dare you question me?

That is not the definition of a narcist.

By the way, this is so off base. I know plenty of narcists that know There are people that are not narcissists that question me, and that is not the definition of narcist. Narcist is a clinical diagnosis that needs to be made by someone who is actually able to make that diagnosis, but it's so much more involved than just someone who talks over you.

He just doesn't want somebody arguing with him.

Well, he's the Narcissist, I think. Yes, exactly. So then he just thinks everybody else is, too.

Match you hard. So you don't ask that question or you don't assume something. That's what narcissists do. They strike the fear of- Narcissist.

Is he putting an extra five s's in there? Narcississis.

God in you. They make you afraid to say something because what does a narcissist do? They blow up.

There's that same fucking building. He went to the other hand with the camera and there's that building again.

He really is driving around the Chicago Loop right now.

Crazy. They make you feel that you're wrong. That's in their best idea. Narcissis That's in their best idea.

That's in their best idea. Right in their best idea, they make you wrong. Have you ever had your... What's your best idea, Kirstie?

He's getting worked up.

He is so hot under the collar because he just got dumped by a narcissist, in his opinion.

Like confrontation. Some narcissists are hiding things. They're hiding things behind your back. So what they- This is his last relationship.

It always comes sliding out the It's a gouey side, doesn't it, Franky?

You can't help yourself.

Under the guise of giving tips.

You're really... This is your video to your ex-girlfriend. Exactly. Letting her know what a shithead she was and how wonderful you are. And by the way, this is such specific information that it can only be... It's like an audience of one. Sometimes they say with Donald Trump that people, like politicians or people on the news, they'll be talking to an audience of one. He's talking to an audience of one, and that is his ex-girlfriend.

Is they come at you strong and hard. Again, it's all in repetition of how they come at you. They're going to overtalk you. They're going to strike the fear of God in you. They're just going to be dominant. And again, It's all- They're going to beat you up while you're sleeping.

They're going to keep saying the same things over and over again.

They're going to dominate it.

They're going to dominant it. They're coming at you. They say words, and they won't blow you when you want to. It's just turns into one big fucking fuffle.

All about them striking the fear of God in you. So if you're in a relationship where that woman is just as dominant as hell and you're not allowed to have an opinion. Listen, we should all be able to have opinions.

Listen, Franky, there has never been a woman that you've been in a relationship, a room that you've walked into where your opinion hasn't been known because that's who you You are. I promise you, you have never been in a relationship with a woman who has asserted 100% dominance. You couldn't tolerate it. You couldn't tolerate it in a conversation, let alone a relationship. That's just who you are.

We should all be able to talk through that. But a narcissist, there's no talking. They yell right off the bat. They come at you right off the bat. Pay attention to that woman if she's very strong-willed and dominant and aggressive, and they don't let you get a word in edgewise.

I want to point out here, first of all, he's saying the same thing.

He's getting very aggressive. He's getting very aggressive, and he's yelling. First of all, second of all, Franky is in the far left lane driving much faster than everybody else, holding a cup of coffee in one hand and a phone in the other.

All right. Sure. Telltale sign. They're a narcissist. And guess what? Narcissist? Don't change. Get out of that relationship.

Trap.

Oh, look at this.

This episode brought you- Now, he's just going to show us the road ahead. Yeah, well, this episode brought you- Out his window. Holiday Inn.

He's out the window.

Yes, of course. Where did you expect that I would get it through the windshield? That makes for a bad shot, Chrissy. I'm going to put it out the window while I'm driving.

Yes.

He's going back on the loop. He's just going in a loop.

What is the final dating trap? Oh, it's that music. What?

Why did we just...

What was that? I don't know. His videos are almost as bad as our trailers.

Dating trap number three. Before I get into this, I just want to make a disclaimer over here. All right? I don't want anybody taking this wrong.

As a man- When you have to say that, it's likely everyone's going to take it wrong.

When you preface something by, Don't take this the wrong way, it's because you know they're going to take it the wrong way. There's only one way to- It sounds bad. Of course it does.

I'm a believer that the man pays for everything. When I go on a date, I pay for everything. I would never, ever ask a woman to pay. But I just think every once in a while, let's just say it.

It's his grievances.

It's his grievances. It's his grievances. It's his grievances. Around his last date. He has said this before, by the way. This is not the first time he has said this.

I believe that your man should pay for every single thing. Don't even ask. Don't even break out your credit card. But if you want to pay for a cruise or a dinner or movies or my car payment every once in a while, I'm not going to complain. It's just a nice thing to do.

You've been dating a girl for three, four- Oh, God, I know a guy like this.

I know a guy like this, Chrissy.

I'm going to tell you who it is after we get off here.

They want to pretend that they are the most chivalrous person in the world. They would never think to have a woman pay. But the second she doesn't offer to pay, it's a problem. It's like, dude, it's like being pregnant. You're either going to say those words and never... People take scores. They're score takers. He's a score taker. He's a score taker. I've paid for everything since we've been starting.

You can't pay for a couple of dinners.

It's a score taking, right? If you're going to take score, you might as well admit from the beginning, I'd like you to pay for something.

Brian, you would love the Real Housewives. Oh, well, hey. I mean, honestly, I'm hearing this and I'm like, God, the drama drama with Shannon Bedore and John Jan said, You would love it.

You would eat that shit up. I've told Christie this before. The reason why I don't get into the Real House... Well, first of all, the Atlanta version just turned me off to any future. Fair enough. I know some of the real housewives of Atlanta, and they're just as obnoxious in real life as they are on the screen. But the other reason why I don't get into it is because I fear that I'll get into it. I fear all of a sudden I'll be watching it because that's the minutia drama. Oh, yeah.

You could just start Salt Lake City.

I know. I know Salt Lake City would be good. Listen, I might as well just follow this all the way down the rabbit hole. Only women are listening to us on Spotify right now. Do it, do it, do it. I'm going to be fending you. I'd love to talk about it. We're going to be the most popular female comedy podcast available.

We're going to be a housewives podcast now.

Five, six, seven, eight, nine months, whatever have you. And that woman never, ever, ever...

Five, six, seven, eight, nine. Was it five or was it nine?

Yeah, was it nine or was it twelve?

Hey, let me get this round of drinks, or Hey, let me get dinner. You just bought the last 150 dinners.

I told you.

I told you. Oh, no, it was grievances.

I know this. Oh, no, it is. It's grievances. Yes, it's grievances. It's It's the worst score-taking. It's the worst score-taking. Fuck you, Franky.

On vacations, concert, boating. We have so much fun.

Boating? Does boating cost money? You mean you want her to You made for your boat?

Let me show you my appreciation for you and let me get this dinner. Now, if you run into a woman or you have a girlfriend like that- I imagine if I'm a woman, I'm saying, Let me show my appreciation for you by dealing with you.

Yeah, exactly. But it's being around you.

That's payment. That's something that I don't quite understand why they can't do. If they don't do it, what's that telling us? That they could be taking advantage of you. They don't Or they could be taking advantage of me. A lot of interest in spending money on you.

It's always the- Or you told them that you don't believe in a woman paying for anything.

I think you…

All right. Guys, we have to have the interest on a woman. I don't want you guys to be caught in that trap, okay? A woman who cares for you will make that gesture.

I'm waiting for a Chicago police officer to come behind him. I know. I would love that. Yeah, that would be awesome because he really is going very fast, weaving in and out of traffic while he's recording this video.

Well, hey, let me get the drinks. Hey, let me get the dinner. Now, me as a I'm a man. I've had women offer me that all the time. You know what I tell them? Absolutely not. Keep your money in your pocket. Keep your money in your pocket for your period pads and stuff.

You're going to need it for your makeup and your twinkly things. I got it. I'm a man. I'm a man.

But you offered, and so you go down as one point on the scorekeeping.

I love the fact that they at least offer because it shows me something. Dating trap number three. If that woman never even offers to buy you around the drinks, something's up.

Something is just not right.

Again, this is not a trap. It's not a trap. If you tell a woman or anybody, Please put your wallet away. I don't want you to pay for this. I can be like this. I'll sneak off and I'll pay the waiter. Not every time, but sometimes. Sometimes I can get generous with my cash and I go and my wife hates it because sometimes I get a little over-generous, but okay, and I'll go. The reason why I sneak off and pay the waiter is I don't want an argument. I don't want anybody to keep score. It's just paid for and let's go. That's it. I just wanted to treat you. Is that okay? But I would never think, ever think.

I'm just thinking about the That's the time that your friend wanted to split the how many bites of the advertiser.

It's so true. Then you got assholes who want to count the amount of bites. You had three bites of that egg roll.

What do you think?

There's seven total bites of the egg roll.

You had three meds or $4 a piece.

I think $2.50.

Would be good for you. Thanks.

That's going to conclude- You're so right.

I remember that now.

The Dating Traps for today. Dating Traps Part 2. Don't forget to subscribe because Dating Traps Part 3 is coming next week, and I got some good ones for you.

Oh, God, it's wicked. Part 2. We all got to subscribe. I can't wait for you to see.

He's just going to go over the same one.

The exact same fucking thing both days.

You can go back and listen to the Commercial Breaks Christmas Eve episode, and I guarantee he said the same thing.

Take advantage of videos. My other one should be linked up about right now.

Go back about right now. While I'm driving down the highway, I'm going to link all these things.

Starlink.

I'm going to put them all together, however that happens. Look at this video.

It's Dating Trap number one. When you're running in trouble, watch these videos. My name is Frank Bernardo.

Thank you all for- He says Frank Bernardo.

He does not say Bernardo. But he spells it at the start of the video, Bernardo. Fair enough. That's enough. You call it.

The way he talks.

You actually thought to read his name. I just heard it.

To everybody in the next video.

There you go. All right. Well, Franky, you have not given us any new content, really not a lot of it in And maybe that's been a good thing that's allowed us to get away. But we have completed the 12 days, the 13 days, the actual 13 days of G-C-B. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas to you. All right. Enjoy it. I hope it's Christmas night. You're sitting by the fire listening to Brian talk about his balls. I hope you had a wonderful Christmas holiday, Kwanza, Hanukah, whatever it is that you celebrate nothing. If you celebrate nothing, that's sad. But okay, all right, you celebrate nothing. Please let us know how your holidays went. We would love to hear your stories because we're going to be fresh right back at you with season number 6 on January sixth, I think it January seventh, back with season number 6. The same as season number 5.

We're going to have a little New Year's show, right?

We will be here New Year's Eve and New Year's Day. You've got a couple of TCB infomercials coming over the next couple of days. We're going to round it out. I think we might only have to throw in a best of or two while we go and take some time off. But this has been a lot of fun. Good job. Good job, Christina.

All right. Good job, everybody.

All right. The 13 days of TCB. There it is. Next year, we'll know what to call it, the 14 days of TCB. Or maybe I'll just move it back one day and it'll be the 12 days of TCB. All right. Donate to any of the charities that we've been talking about over the last 13 days. The National Breast Cancer Coalition Fund, St. Judes Hospital, the research hospital that takes care of children when they get diagnosed with terrible life-threatening illnesses. The National Breast Cancer Coalition Fund is looking for a vaccine. They're looking for a cure, and they're helping women through some of the most difficult times of life. Fuck cancer. Let's get it done. Also, the ASPCA, taking care of all the animals who need a little help, our furry little friends. Take care of your... Get your motherfuckers spade and muted. That's all I got to say. Most important thing you can do. That way, you don't have any extra babies you can't take care of. You know what I'm saying? It's the right thing to do. Also, the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, taking care of women and children as they leave abusive relationships.

Supporting local organizations, so important. Finally, the Disabled American Vets, dav. Org. Go donate to one of those causes. 212 4333, TCb, youtube. Com/thecommercialbron. Com. Break for every episode on video. Tcbpodcast. Com at the Commercial Break on Instagram, and TCb podcast on TikTok. Okay, Christina, Christie, that's all I could do.

I think so.

This year, best to you. We're best to you. We're best to you.

And best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next year, we all will say goodbye.

Goodbye.

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