Transcript of TCB Infomercial: Kelsey Cook Returns!

An IUD can stay in you for eight years. So after they're done, the nurse hands you a sticker with a date on it of eight years from that day, so you know when to replace it. So I just pop that on my windshield next to my oil change sticker. Where else am I going to put that thing? I got one that says Valvoline, one that says Volvoline. I just like that. Just keep an eye. I told my dad about the sticker thing, and he goes, Oh, that's interesting. I wonder if it works the same way as a car where it goes by either the date or the mileage. On this episode of the Commercial Break.

Making a triumphant return to the show is Kelsey. Kelsey, welcome back. Hi, guys.

Thanks for having me back.

Well, we couldn't be happier that you agreed to come back on the show. Not something that happens very often.

We're surprised. We're surprised.

You guys are great.

I love it. We often say on the show that there's only two reasons why someone comes on the show. They're on their way up or on their way down. I love it. You are definitely on the way up. The next episode of the Commercial Break starts now. Yeah, Caz and Kittins. Welcome back to the Commercial Break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co-host of this show, Chris Joyhold. Best of you, Chris.

Best to you, Brian.

Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Tcb infomercial Tuesday with yet another repeat customer, Kelsey Cook.

I can't believe it. Seeing her moment.

She's seeing her moment. She's having her She's coming on the show even though she's much more popular than she was even just six months ago, which I find hard to believe. Thank you, Kelsey.

Obviously, our show helped catapult her.

There is no doubt.

Into the realm of superstardum.

No doubt that we played a huge role in her success, and I'd like to take credit for that. And I like her to admit that here on the show, that if it wasn't for the commercial break, she wouldn't, in fact, have a new special out on Hulu and YouTube. If it wasn't for the fact that she came on the commercial break, she would not be as popular and making as much money as she is right now. And when she admits that, I'll be happy as long as she gives us tickets to her next appearance here in Atlanta. That's one thing we need to ask all our guests. If you come to Atlanta, backstage passes, drink tickets for the kids, and a bucket of popcorn. That's what I would like.

Yes. Those are our demands.

Yes, those are our demands. That's our writer, Kelsey Cook. I'll have you know that I will take no shit. I will take nothing less than free popcorn at your next event. Kelseycook. Com is where you can find more information about Kelsey, all of her tour dates. She's on an extensive tour right now, so I'm sure she's coming somewhere close to you. Go to kelseycook. Com to buy those tickets and the brand new special on Hulu and YouTube, which I'd like to ask her about.

It's so funny, I have to say. It's from beginning to end. It's really funny.

Everybody here has watched the special. Everybody has given it a... They've given it a Michelin star, essentially.

We were talking about this earlier. I think what makes it even funnier is because she does not look the person that is saying the stories that she's saying.

No, it's true. No, it's true. You're right. I don't know what else to say. I mean, Kelsey is... She very much looks She very much looks like an innocent midwestern girl. Like a teacher or something.

Yeah.

Yeah. That's no knock. I mean, no knock on the way that she looks. She's beautiful. She's beautiful. But I'm just saying, when you look at Madison from Love is Blind, right? So She looks like a troublemaker. In those eyes, there are years of experience, and she looks like a troublemaker. But when you look at someone like Kelsey, she seems like she could do no wrong. She just seems like a very innocent, nice human being. But when you watch her special, you realize that there's some dirt behind those eyes. I'd like to talk to her about that, too. I love it. Of course, she's got the podcast also that- That she does with her boyfriend, Chad. Yeah, she does with her boyfriend Chad, who's also a very famous, very popular comedian. Hold on one second, because I'm looking at Hulu here. She's got a link on her website, and I am trying to... Oh, watch on YouTube. Hold on one second. Let me see if I can pull this up. The Hustler is the one that she did a couple of years ago was The Hustler. And then Mark Your Territory is the new one. I wanted to mistakenly call it The Hustler, but it's Mark Your Territory, is the new special.

800 pound guerrilla who is supporting great comedy, 800-pound guerrilla. A lot. As a ton of comedy specials. I don't know who those people are, but they're doing great work to support good comedians. I say, yay, sir. Yey to you. So, Kelsey, I'll be on in just a few minutes. While we're at it, we'll talk more extensively about this later on in the week, but I wanted to share that on last week's show, we were talking about Love is Blind. Yes. I was talking about Madison, and I was talking about how Madison was having a conversation with one of the guys in the pods, and one of the guys in the pods started to catch on to her shenanigans a little bit. He pushed back. He said, Hey, listen, I don't think I could deal with the way that you handle things, or that's not the way that I would handle it. That's not the way I would prefer it to be handled.

Conflicts. I think it was conflict.

Something like attachment style. Yeah. Conflicts. Then there was another question about sex. There was another question about the way that you deal with the way that you run away when someone does something. Avoidance. The way that you don't want partner to be involved in fixing you. All these little hints that she was dropping, he picked up on and said, That wouldn't be good for me, actually. I don't like that. Kudos to him. And kudos to him.

He probably wouldn't have said it if he had been seeing her, if he had looked at her.

I agree with you there. If she was at the bar and they were having that conversation face to face, I said it before, I'll say it again, he would have rolled like a puppy dog because those eyes are like, I don't know, like the Chesher cat, little swirling eyes that hypnotize you. You're like, Oh, man. But now, because we're talking about it here, my phone's listening, I'm getting all of these reels about Love is Blind. I come to find out that this guy, and I don't want to give the name away because if you haven't watched Love is Blind, I want you to be able to watch it without interference from Brian. But this guy, apparently, is not the dorky nerdy kid who he claimed to be, number one. Number two, he's not the nice guy that he claimed to be, according to some people in Minashoda.

I cannot believe that somebody on reality television is lying.

Do you know what?

I mean, it seems unfathomable.

It seems unreal that we would get a twisted story from the producers of such hits as Baby Reindier. Love is blind. Did you cheat on me lately?

What's the other show that nick and Vanessa do?

Oh, are you the one? Oh, yeah. Ultimatum. Are you the one? Ultimatum. Yeah, Ultimatum. Yeah, which is a terrible show. It really is. Put your loved one in with another attractive human being and see if they have sex.

Of course, I watch it, but it's a terrible It's a terrible idea.

It's a terrible idea. But great for TV. Yeah, it's a cheating factory. And by the way, no one that walks into the ultimatum, which is couples, go in together and they get to peruse around the other couples to see if there's someone they like better. No one who's secure in their relationship would ever go on that show. No, no, no, no. You think I would bring Astrid into a room full of hot 30 something guys? No, because I don't stand a chance. I don't stand a chance. I try and keep her Actually, I try and keep Astrid out of all rooms with hot 30 something guys. That's it. That's my rules. Those are my rules. But anyway, these women in Minnashoda, in Minneapolis, are a talking. They're a yapping. That's what I've heard. There's a through line here because Kelsey Cooke is living in Minneapolis. Am I right about this? She is. Okay, she's living in Minneapolis.

She moved in with Chad. Or they bought a house together.

They bought a house together. I won't waste her time on Love is Blind, but just know that there's a through line here. Apparently, a lot of the guys that are on Love is Blind this season have a lot of dirt, and there's a lot of people around them that are willing to spill that tea on social media because there's not one guy who is featured on this show, doesn't have some drama about him right now out there on the internet. So while I said this the slowest season of Love is Blind, it is on the show, but outside the show on social media, things are just heating up. Kelseycook. Com. Go get tour tickets. Check her special out on Hulu or YouTube. There are links on her website. We have links in the Show Notes, and please check out her and Chad's podcast, which is available everywhere you listen to podcasts. Wherever you're listening to us now, you can listen to their podcast. I think that drops weekly. Am I right? I think so. I listened to a couple of episodes. I actually thought it was pretty good. Yeah. Yeah, they have a little factory, a little comedy factory going on up there in Minneapolis.

I think they're going on tour together.

Well, let's see. We'll ask her all about it when we get back. I'll tell you what, let's do this. Let's take a short break. Through the magic. Then when we get back through the magic Angela podcasting. We'll bring Kelsey Cooke in and we'll have a conversation. What do you think? Let's do it. All right, we'll be back.

Rachel here. While Brian takes his old man bladder to the little boys room, let's talk T-C-B. T-c-b needs your help. If you love the show, do us all a favor and share. Sharing is caring, and we know you care. Don't you? Well, don't you? Oh, that was some childhood trauma. Rearing its ugly head. Do you want to be on the show? Leave us a voicemail at 212-433-3822, and you could be the next T-C-B disembodied voice. What'd you do today? I was a disembodied voice? You know, that sounds more dangerous than it actually is. Find us on Insta @thecommercialbreak. On the web at tcbpodcast. Com, and all the episodes on video are available the same day at youtube. Com/thecommercialbreak. I'm going to go help Brian get back up the stairs while you listen to the sponsors, and then we'll all meet back here and get back to this episode of the Commercial Break. I'll take a raise now. Bitches, bye.

And making a triumphant return to the show is Kelsey. Kelsey, welcome back. Hi, guys. Guys, thanks for having me back. Well, we couldn't be happier that you agreed to come back on the show. Not something that happens very often.

We're really surprised.

We're surprised.

You guys are great.

I love it. You know, we often say on the show that there's only two reasons why someone comes on the show. They're on their way up or on their way down. I love it. You are definitely on the way up.

Way up, yeah. Congratulations on all your success since we talked to you last.

Thanks so much, guys. You guys are so nice.

We were talking just before Just before we started recording, we were sharing that you did a couple of big shows or a big show at the Wilbur in Boston. In just the last... How long was it? How long ago was it when we talked to you? Just like six months ago, right?

I feel like it's six, six to eight months.

Yeah, in six or eight months, you have gone on quite the run, and all credit to you and the comedy that you're putting together, which is resonating with people. Let me ask you this, when you're in this moment, does it feel like things are heating up? Do you get this It's like, Oh, my gosh, I have a special coming out. I'm selling out shows. I'm doing theaters. Does it feel like that, or is it too fast and furious to take a breath and recognize?

That's a good question. I'm trying to stop and smell the roses and all of that because this business is really that way where if you don't, it's like once you get there, there disappears, right? It's like you get to where you're trying to get to, and then you're like, okay, now what? And you're always just looking for the next thing. But But it's just that's such a slippery slope into not being happy because there is no limit in this career. It's like you see the people at the top of the mountain and stand up, and it's like, oh, my God, it's such a different thing now. It's like you become a full rock star, essentially. And so I think it's really easy to feel like you're never doing enough. And I have really been trying hard to be like, okay, This is so cool, especially if there are bucketless things happening. I'm like, I need to really stop and appreciate this because this is a really great feeling.

Was the Wilber or selling on a theater like that, was this a storied history? Was that one of those bucket list things? Like, Oh, my gosh, I'm standing here in a place where so many other comedians have killed it.

Absolutely. Yeah, I have to, just because I'll feel gross, if I don't correct you. We didn't sell it out, but a lot of people came and it was great. I can't just be like, Yeah, we didn't sell that one out. But there have been a lot of sold-out shows on tour so far, which has felt great. But yeah, getting to do the Wilbur was, I mean, that's just such an iconic venue. And the last time I was in Boston was at the Comedy Club, and we had sold out that whole weekend. And so I think that was a really great feeling of like, okay, I did the best I could do at the club. And now, because of that, I'm getting to do this bucket list thing. When you can see those changes in your career, getting to do theaters has been the coolest feeling.

I am so happy for you. I think that that's really cool. I just enjoy so much watching nice people succeed, good people succeed. I take great pleasure in it. It gives me zero hope that the commercial break will ever get to that level because I'm not good person. Oh, my gosh.

There's plenty of shitty people who succeed in this business. Don't you worry about it. Thank you. Don't worry.

A lot worse people.

Shitty people deserve love, too. It shouldn't die. You're so nice. What are you talking about? Thank you.

Who are the people at the top of the... Who do you... Whose career do you admire right now? Who do you look at and you go, Oh, my gosh, they're doing such a great job. I aspire to that. Or maybe not even aspire, but you I guess you look at them and you go, They're at the top of the hill.

They're really crushing it. I mean, a couple of people that come to mind right away are obviously Taylor Tomlinson, who's one of my best friends, and Nikki Glazer, also one of my friends, having this massive moment right now. Seeing the level of work that those two put in is truly mind-blowing. It's like I look at Taylor, who's hosting after midnight during the day, and then touring on the weekends, and it's like, she actually does not have free time.

It is like- She doesn't ever like She is constantly grinding, and it's just so impressive, and I'm so proud of her because it does...

I don't know, it just makes you go, Oh, wow, that is possible to be excelling at that level. I think that's what I mean before, where the sky's the limit now in stand-up. People are doing so much beyond just touring. I think I've had to maybe recalibate my goals a little bit and be like, Okay, what is actually important to me? Do I want the biggest amount of fame, whatever, all that stuff, and knowing that with that can also come a lifestyle that I also don't really want. So trying to find that balance of, I, of course, want to just keep getting better and better at stand-up and growing my fan base. But knowing that I love living in Minnesota and having this very normal life when I'm not on tour and playing pickleball with my boyfriend. I like the balance I have in my life. And so, yeah, just trying to figure out what I ultimately want, I guess.

We have these conversations all the time. We have these DeLulu conversations all the time. Chrissy and I do. There are steps you can take to move outside of the RSS feed, so to speak. We live very much in this RSS bubble. We do this show here in a local studio, and we live regular lives outside of this. But there are lots of podcasters, mainly comedians, who do this out there, who have this level of Fame and success where I think that their lives are altered because they are outside the RSS feed, outside of that bubble. Christie and I often say, what would it be like to live outside that bubble or if we took steps to live outside of that bubble? I can see what you're saying because maybe your life changes in a way that doesn't feel... It sounds great, but then when it happens, maybe it's not. When you can't go to the grocery store without 10 people asking for an autograph or take a picture, or can you do a reel with me, or whatever, people start to get this sense of they want to encroach on a universe that's been exclusively yours or you and your boyfriend's, and that feels good to you.

It feels good to go out, get the adoration, do what you do, kill it, and then come home and be a normal person.

Yeah. It's funny because I had looked up to my boyfriend for so long in comedy because I just so admired that he had achieved the goals he wanted to in stand up without having to live a life that he didn't want to. He didn't come up in LA, didn't come up in New York. He has stayed in Minnesota. That's the whole time where he's from originally. And had his Netflix special come out last year. Now he's selling all his shows, and I just was like, Wow, that's such a cool life. And I was like, Well, no, I'm with him forever. So it's great. It's like the best.

They're like a little incubator over there in Minnesota. Oh, I know.

I have family up there in Minneapolis. My husband's brother and his family live up there. I love it whenever I go visit up there. It's fantastic. It's Great. I've been in the winter, and yes, it's freezing. But there's also times when it's not. And it's a beautiful city. I love the people there.

Yeah. I mean, it's exactly what you said. The winters are insane and make you feel like I can't be alive right now. It's minus 18, feels like minus 26. I can't even step outside. Yeah, your eyelash is just like snap off. I mean, it's not normal living conditions for a human being. Our poor dog, when he has to go outside to shit in that weather, it's like a power poop. It's like you've never seen a dog poop so fast. It's like sprints poop, sprints back in. It's just insanity. But yeah, and it's also such a great city to tour out of. If touring is your primary thing in your career, it's like, Minneapolis is very central. It's a lot of nonstop flights. The time zone change isn't crazy either way. And so, yeah, I never thought that that would be like A smart move. You don't think you go to Minneapolis and your career flourishes. But LA is a very hard city to tour out of. You're so far in the corner. Going to New York is a five-hour flight.

It's miserable. It's a miserable flight.

Yeah, three-hour time chain. It's just a lot. So it's weird that you don't think of Minneapolis as being this glitzy place for a career, but it actually- Hey, Prince.

That's all I got to I'm not going to say. I'm not going to say. Prince never moved out of Minneapolis.

That's all. It's all you got to say.

He literally made Minneapolis like ground zero for- I know.

I've got to get up to Paisley Park. Have you been to Paisley Park?

I haven't been, but I've been told I need to go. She's living here.

It's on my list.

Okay, so your new special. Fantastic. Everybody here has watched it. It's like required reading.

From beginning to end.

It's solid.

Thank you. I'll say this, the ladies, including Esther and Tina, Chrissy, all just raved about this special. I think it really resonates, and I thought it was very funny also. I don't see you as the jealous type. That's so funny. That surprised me. That's the biggest surprise eye opener of the entire special was like, She's not jealous. Is she a jealous type? She seems so mild-mannered.

Yeah, I am mild-mannered, but it's like what I said in the joke that it wasn't until my 30s that that switch flipped. I don't know if it's a primal caveman thing, where once I was with Chad and... It's like you get a little bit older and I think you can tell that death is not. This is dark to say, but it It's not this thing that you're just like, Oh, yes. It's like you get a little older and you meet the person that you're like, Oh, this is my forever person. And then there is, at least for me, something set in of I need to, again, mark my territory, guard this person. Protect it. And of course, because he's also a touring comedian, he has tons of fans. Women love him. I talked on this special about how I had That crowdwork clip go viral of this woman who was like, Oh my, your boyfriend's my favorite comedian. That's insane to me. He's so hot and all this stuff. It's hard. You want your boyfriend to be terrible, right? Because that's a nice feeling when other women find him so attractive.

But not too much.

Yeah.

I get it.

Which I think is a very good sign that I'm like, no, I love him so much. I care so much about us and him that I- You don't want anything getting in the middle of it. Yeah. It's a good... I think it comes from a place of passion. I mean, it's not a psycho place. It's just more of a like, Oh, this This is a feeling I didn't know that I was going to feel so strongly. And then I just said you've been a little- Said every girl to the judge. A bloody knife. I do think you get older and it changes.

I get it. I am not at all. I think I was more of a jealous type in my 20s, but I just was never really like, Okay, if you don't like me or if you're whatever with someone else, then I guess that's not for... I think it's laziness is actually what it is. Is that too lazy to get involved in my own emotions about any of that stuff? But I do see what you're saying is that I love my wife passionately, and she's my one, and I don't want to do this again, right? I like what we have, and this is the best I The best relationship I've ever been in and all those things. I do see what you're saying is I think it's maybe not jealousy, it's protection. It's protection. I want to protect me, my feelings, her, our relationship, and the family or the life that we've built, I want to protect that. So it's more like a- Well, and travel, too, I think has something to do with it.

Oh, absolutely. You could be the most secure couple in the world, but if you're constantly away from each other in different cities, you can't help but be like, Well, what's maybe happening? You know, right? You got to the bar for drinks one night or something.

Yes, I think that can play into it, too. By the way, you can have all the trust in the world. That doesn't mean you're not human. That doesn't mean that the mind It pours a vacuum. So sometimes- You can trust 100% of the tell. Who is this bitch who's literally telling you to your face, your boyfriend is hot?

Here's the thing.

I learned- Don't apologize for her.

No, I'm not I'm not a bad thing. I learned more about her afterwards because when I had posted that clip, and it has like 15 million views. It's like, insane. Oh my God. She had commented being like, I truly meant of disrespect. What she had meant by all of that was that she went to one of Chad's shows, and her mom had passed away shortly before she went to one of his shows. And in the merch line afterwards, she had told Chad how much that show meant to her. It might have, I think, maybe been the first time she had laughed since something like that had happened, and that he was just like, Oh, I'm so sorry that you've gone through that. Thank you for telling me that. And so that was like I think a lot of where her, her love for him was coming from. But she, I think, had probably had some drinks at that at my show and just was getting pretty excited. But again, it's like that old Patrice O'Neill joke where it's like, you don't want to be with somebody who you could send down the back alley in the middle of the night and not worry about anybody hitting on her.

There is part of you that wants your partner? Someone that's desired. Yes, of course.

But yeah, she. And he touched her in a moment of vulnerability, and I'm sure that she felt like that was... I'm putting words in her mouth, of course, but I suppose that what she felt was some connection because in that moment, she felt like he reached out to her and said something nice. When there's a famous comic standing up there and you admire their work and they connect with you. It's like, Oh, okay. I'm sure she meant it. I love your husband in a way that he was very nice and I made a special connection with him.

There was zero ill intent. I mean, her husband sitting right there. Also, I don't know what it's like to be an audience member and have a comic talking. I mean, it's a lot of adrenaline, I'm sure, and it's not planned, and you're just going with. I'm sure if I was in the reverse situation, I might at some time in my life, say something where I put my foot in my mouth. It's hard to be on the other end of it, right? All those factors.

We were talking to Ari Shafir about this, about the people in the first couple of rows and how they go to a a comedy show, wherever it may be. They go to a comedy show and there's this sense that they understand, depending on who the who the comic is, that they could be a target of the comedy. Some people may enjoy that, other people may not, but how they react in the moment Who knows? It's like a big X factor.

Right. Yeah. But yeah, I think also part of feeling more protective of him and us is like, I moved to Minnesota in the month of January with this man. We have life insurance. We bought a house together. The taxes? The state taxes? Oh my God, the state taxes. It's just a different level of seriousness, I guess. Investment. Yeah. I I don't know.

Is there any interest? Has there been any discussion? This is a question that I probably shouldn't ask, but I'm going to ask. Has there been any conversation around getting married? Or is this just like, We're here, we're doing it. We don't need to put it on paper?

No, we do want to get married. We've just done everything so backwards, which we've loved and it's been fun and great. But we bought a house, then we got life insurance. It's It's fun to know that this is it forever and know that we do want to get married, but there's still some fun things left that haven't happened yet, right? I'm excited for us to get engaged and get married because we have already checked off some of the big things. And once you do them, it's like, you checked it off. Buying a house together is such a fun, cool thing to do. And once you do it, you're like, Okay, we did it. And I think having those things to look forward to is a fun, healthy thing. Oh, definitely.

All right. I was just wondering if I needed to call Chad and see some- No, no, no. The benefits of locking it up. Chad.

We're locked up. But yeah, it is exciting to think about that happening.

Where did you film the special?

I shot it in Madison, Wisconsin, at Comedy on State.

Yes. And so did you do this over... I mean, I don't want to give away all the magic, but was this a couple of nights that then you strung together, or did you just do one night and then you had callbacks?

Yeah, we did one night and two shows in that night.

And two shows in that night. So answer me this. I noticed that it's on two platforms. Is that right?

Yes, it's on Hulu and YouTube.

Okay, so why is that? I'm very curious as to why this is. I don't recall, at least, seeing this. This 800-pound gorilla, right? Yeah. We've had a lot of comics on who've had specials on Underpound Guerrilla, good for them, supporting good comedy. So why is it double-platformed?

So I have also never done this before, and I think it's something pretty new that Hulu is trying. There are pros and cons to it, right? If you have something come out on one platform, every audience member that's watching it is going to that one place. The views aren't getting divided up. So that is one downside is the Hulu views aren't public. Even I don't know what the views yet now that it's been out for a couple of weeks. Yeah, that's got to be tough. But the upside is if you are putting a special out exclusively on YouTube, there are a lot of bigger press outlets that wouldn't have you on to promote it if it's just a YouTube special. But as soon as a streamer is involved, then people go, Oh, okay. Well, now we'll have you on. Yeah. And so-Case in point, the commercial break. The commercial break. You guys were like, Look, we like you. We can't have you do this YouTube thing again. We got to spice it up.

If we had every Yahoo with a YouTube special on, we'd do nothing but Yajoo's.

You got to bring that Hulu in here. Yeah.

That's what we told Kyle Canane. I said, Hey, I'll have you on when you get on a streamer, okay?

Yeah, we can't have this.

It's not yet.

It's been a little bit of a learning process of seeing, Okay, this is something I like about doing it like this. This is something I don't like. But I can't say yet what I'm about to do, but I'm about to do a big press thing in a week and a half that it wouldn't have been possible if we didn't also have it come out on Hulu the same day.

Well, I actually think it's a good idea. We talk about this a lot. It's like being multi-platformed is so important. I think the more opportunity you have to get in front of eyeballs or ears or whatever it is to share your work, your creativity, you're taking a lot of time, energy, and effort. This is what you do. It comes from, I'm sure, a lot of internal strife and struggle and hard work, and you want as many people to see that as possible. Not everybody has access to Hulu. Not everybody can either afford it or has it or whatever the reason may be. Youtube is such a jourganaut. I mean, they are... There's more watching going on on YouTube right now for the first time ever than all the television platforms put together. So YouTube is a player in the market. Huge. I think it makes a lot of sense that you would put this out. But has there been generally positive feedback about this special? I saw some... I was reading through the comments on YouTube, which is where I watched it. I was reading some of the comments, and unbelievably, most of them are so very good good towards the special.

And that's not... Youtube is the cesspool in the comment section. I don't usually read it, but I saw a bunch of people were just raving about your special.

Oh, thank you. Yeah, I feel very, very fortunate that that's been the case. It's just really nice to read such nice things. And yeah, that's, again, put that in the column of upsides for putting it on YouTube is that you do get to see positive feedback and you do get to interact with the people who are watching it, and that means a lot to me. So, yeah, it's ultimately, you just want as many eyeballs on it as possible, because I think most of us comics, the thing we want at end of the day is for people to come see us on tour. It's like, whether you watched it on a Hulu or YouTube, if you watched it and you were like, Oh, I want to see her live, then we're like, Great. That's a win.

Because I would imagine, I don't know, but I would imagine and after having talked to a lot of comics, that the money that you make, the living that you make, is by and large done through live shows. It's not like Hulu is paying you a million dollars for the rights to stream your special. You may get some money out of them. I would imagine that if I were in a comic and I was up and coming or trying to make a break, I would might even say, You can have this special. Just put it on your platform. Just put it on your platform. Then if it does well, then we can talk about it in a year or whatever, maybe we can do another special. I can see how this is really a driver to get more people to show up where you really make your bread and butter, which is at the live shows.

Right, exactly. Yeah. It's It's, like I said, been a learning experience. What a weird world we're living. It all works together. Yeah, exactly. Because again, it's not like a Netflix deal where you're getting this big paycheck up front or even a Hulu exclusive deal where you're getting a big paycheck. It is a situation where they are licensing it, they're putting it up there, but you're also putting it on YouTube. So you're mostly in this particular situation, like, Okay, how do we get it seen by a lot of people and then drive ticket sales? But My last special, The Hustler on YouTube, it only went on YouTube to start, and it has almost four million views. It's crazy what YouTube- That's crazy. I had no expectation. It was my first special. I was like, Well, we're putting on YouTube. Let's see. That changed my life. It completely changed my touring. It's just nuts what the power of YouTube is now.

Yeah. If you have 4 million views, you're not only putting some butts in seats, but then at the same time, you have some leverage to have those conversations with Disney executives. If I'm you and I'm trying to get on Hulu- I want to be your manager. Yeah, I want to be your manager. I'm so fascinated by the inner work piece of all this. If I'm you or if I'm managing you. Here's what I'm saying. Kelsey will do this special for free, but I need an all-expenses paid vacation to Disney World once a year, which is the equivalent of about a million dollars worth of net revenue.

Our dogs are $42. All that stuff.

Those fucking Pretzelheads, those Mickey Pretzelheads, they're like $15 a piece.

I believe it. It's insane. I've heard.

It's insane. You're out on tour currently. Where are you looking? Tell me about the places that you... I know you're not going to tell me that you don't like any places to go. I get the politics of that. But tell me about the places.

I'll tell you some places. Oh, tell me some places. I would maybe tell you a couple. Do you really want enough places I don't like to be.

Tell me, yes, of course I do. That's the more interesting conversation, but I'm trying to get my way in the back door here a little bit. Well, I will say one place that I truly was like, you know what?

I don't think I could go back here. This was just a very tough experience, but I think understandably that I wouldn't want to go back. I did the Syracuse Funny Bone. Gosh, this is maybe two, three years ago. It's in a mall. Right before the show was about to start, there was a shooting in the mall, and the manager came back to the green room and was like, Okay, there's an active shooter in the mall. And when you hear the words active shooter, you picture trench coat. Like, there's no... In particular, Another target that is just... You know what I mean? And so I start crying in there. I'm terrified. I'm like, these are the things you read the news and you go, I just hope I'm never in that situation. And there's somebody telling you, you're in this situation right now. You're in the mall, there's an active shooter. Oh, my God. And so the mall got evacuated. Show got canceled. We found out later that it was a gang shooting. It was targeted. It wasn't active shooter was a little bit of a- It was a little dramatic, but in the fog of four, they don't know.

Yeah, yeah.

And I was just... The place where the shooting happened, I was just walking in that area of the mall, like 30 minutes before that. And so So this is not like a dig to the people of Syracuse because I am sure the crowds there would be fun. I think I had done maybe two shows the night before that, and I think I had a fine time. But I looked online after the shooting, and it turns out there are shootings in that mall every month. And I just was like, Yeah, you know. Yeah, exactly.

I can go to Twin Falls.

Sure, yeah, yeah. It's like... Buffalo. Maybe I go back into a different venue. But that was when I was like, That... It's too much to worry about anyway. I don't want to go to a place where there's like, shoot us all the time.

You have PTSD. I think it doesn't matter whether or not it was a targeted shooting. To me, it wouldn't matter or not. I don't care. A gun where someone... If someone's pointing a gun in an open mall, I'm like, fuck all that. I just don't want to have anything to do with it.

Exactly.

We do hear about this so often, that it's a trigger word, I think, for everybody. You know, it's a real trigger word for me as a parent? That every time I hear the word school and gun, it happens frequently, right? Every time I hear that, I just go in sheer panic, not because I think it's happening at the school my kid's go to, but because it happens so often, someday it could be the school that my kid goes to. It can happen.

It can happen everywhere.

Okay, so- Of course. Horrifying.

During the winter, I'm sure that you must enjoy getting down to warmer places when you're traveling. Do you arrange or have your manager arrange your tour schedule to get you to a few warm places?

I could probably be a little more strategic about that with my agent. Yeah, come on.

Let's get that manager to work.

This was my first winter in Minnesota that it really felt like what people describe as a true Minnesota winter. Like, those temperatures, I just didn't believe that that was happening in the US.

Wasn't it minus 20 or something?

Yeah. From that one time. Yeah, I listened to this local station up there, the NPR station up there, The Current. It's a great radio station if you're ever listening. Okay. Not that anybody's listening to the radio anymore. No. You can also listen. We listen online. But I hear the temperature up there frequently. And it was like negative 30 one day.

Yeah. Chad is from Ferguson Falls, which is this town- I love the name Ferguson Falls. Ferguson Falls. So cute. It is very cute. Chad from Ferguson It's cold. It sounds like something from Schitts Creek, right? It's very wholesome sounding. So it's in Northern Minnesota. And I guess a while ago, there was a polar vortex there where it was minus... It's like something crazy. And he said that if you touch the the doornaub of your house, but from the inside, it would burn your hand.

Oh my God.

From the inside. What? Oh my God. That's how cold metal...

I mean... Oh, yeah. No, thanks. No, thank you. I I just have an allergy to the cold weather. I really do. We live in Atlanta, and it got cold down here, too. But for me, I grew up in Chicago, and I think I've done my penance. I've done my time. I would rather stay down where it's just a little bit warmer. If I can avoid that. I'm not interested in going on a ski vacation. People call me and people texting, Hey, we're going to go skiing wherever. And I'm like, Fuck that. You're going to go to be cold? You're going to go somewhere to be cold? No, thank you. I'll take my chances down here.

I think you have to grow up with it to be used to Well, she moved there. I'm from Washington.

Yeah. I'm from Spokane.

It's not that warm.

Yeah, Spokane is very seasonal. It gets cold in the winter. We have snow, but not feels like minus 26. No, it's snow.

Many apples in the Something amazing. Something else. Something amazing. Something amazing.

Something else.

Yeah.

Okay.

Probably the lakes that are up there.

It's the land of lakes. It's the land of lakes. I see it on my cream box every day when I make coffee and eat cereal. Land of Lakes. That's us. I think that's where my cream comes from. I'd like to think so anyway. When I'm looking at my cream box, I just imagine a rolling field with snow. Cows.

Butters being churned by hand.

Here's A funny, like a funny side note. I watched a couple of days ago, like a National Geographic special on Antwick, the coldest place on Earth where people inhabit, which is up in, I don't know, somewhere in Russia or one of the former in the US, that's our state. Oh, yeah. It regularly is minus 75 degrees Fahrenheit there for seven months a year. What? The kids can go to school if it's minus 53 or warmer, but they cannot go to school if it's minus 53 or colder. They eat for breakfast strawberries and churned whip cream. That's like their meal because it's got so much fat in it. That's what they need to eat. They're And that's the only thing they can eat because it's the only thing that can stay fresh is the actual dairy that comes from the cows that, I guess, are able to survive in minus 75 degree fucking weather. That sounds insane to me. The way these people live is like, they might as well be on a spaceship somewhere near Uranus. I mean, it doesn't make any sense to me.

Again, it has to be just generational that you grow up. That's the only way.

Nobody's going there. They have the body tolerance for that. No one's visiting this town. Right. Yeah. Okay, so you get out your- I'm cold now. I know. So you get out your special, and now, do you find it... I'm sure in some ways it feels good creatively to go out there back on the road, and are you knocking around the new material, planning the next special, essentially?

Yeah, the timing of this actually worked out really well, where once Mark Your Territory came out a couple of weeks ago, it had been 10 months since I shot it, and so it gave me that amount of time to get a new hour put together. And so The hour I'm touring with right now is all completely different from the special, which is nice to be able to tell people when they comment like, Oh, I want to watch this special, but I have tickets to see you. Can I watch this special? And I'm like, Yes, you can watch it and you can see me. It's totally different. It's hard sometimes when you shoot a special and you're like, Oh, my God, I want it out right now. But then you probably would not have a new hour ready. So it's finding that perfect spot.

Yeah, I think. I don't know who we were. We were talking to a company, me and Sam Morrill, and he was explaining that Led Zeppelin can have one hit and go to her on that hit for 25 years.

Yeah, comedy has to constantly be updated.

But he was explaining that once the hour is out, I can no longer do that material. He's like, I can do some of the best, I can do some of the greatest hits. I can repurpose a joke here and there or the thing that people like to hear, the favorite joke, quote, unquote. He said, But by and large, I got to come up with a new hour because no one's going to pay 50 bucks to see me if they know they can watch on Netflix. It's just not going to happen. Exactly. That must be tough.

Yeah. It's really... Yeah. I don't think it was always like this. I feel like this has been a really big shift in maybe the last 10 years where it became this expectation that you're putting out a new hour every one to two years.

You're right. I feel like that's been a change from the days of Eddie Murphy or different other comedians from back in the '70s, '80s could do the same thing a lot.

I know. Some of our favorite are... It's like Rihanna has been talking about putting an album out now, and I think it's been eight years, maybe longer, a decade.

You're so right.

Justin Timberlake put his album out last year, and that had been, I think, almost a decade or something. It's just crazy. That's what is expected, that they get this time to be inspired and live life. And comics are just desperately trying to scrounge up material where we can find it. But I think it's like a muscle that if you have that pressure and expectation in your mind, you do somehow come up with it. I don't know. We're all just doing our best, I guess.

Yeah, That's right.

Yeah, I don't know. I think that would be incredibly difficult to do. You look at Chris Rock. I mean, he would bring the pain, was like, it killed us all, right? We were, Oh, my God, Chris Rock's stalking the stage like that over and He didn't come out with a new special until a decade later. It was 10 years in between those specials, and he was afforded that opportunity. What did he do in between? I don't know, a few movies and a television appearance here and there, and he just really paid off of that for a long time. But now I think the age of the internet, because we're all so used to seeing new content every single minute- Social media. Yeah, that we can't just settle down and enjoy. You can't just enjoy what you want, listener. You now get to demand that Kelsey come out with a new hour every 15 minutes. It's not a reasonable expectation. I know. Watch her special and then go buy her tickets. See her do Stairway to Heaven.

Yes, my Stairway to Heaven, my blog dog. You're so right that It's social media, too, where our specials, we end up cannibalizing them and turning them into clips immediately because we're trying to get people to watch a special and we're trying to get into the algorithm and push tour tickets. And so You can take an hour special and essentially turn it into 60 clips. That would be a lot. But once you run out, you're like, I need to shoot another special because I don't have new clips. That's also a really big part of it is unless you're relying heavily on crowdwork clips or podcast clips, having new special clips really infuses your channels with new lifeblood. You're like, Oh, my God, yes, I have something new to post. More, yes. Yeah, it's a sickness.

It's horrible. Well, if you ever need any mediocre comedy to distribute on your social media platform, feel free to knock us up. We do like 60 of these shows a week. Oh my gosh, you guys. We're churning Speaking of turning butter, this commercial break never stops.

That's for sure. That's amazing, though.

Kelsey Cooke, brand new special out on YouTube and on Hulu. Yeah. We would highly encourage all of our listeners to go listen to the special, and then regardless of whether or not Kelsey's going to do old material or new material, we encourage, and she'll do me a new material. It's all really funny. It's all funny. You'll laugh harder in person because that's the way that it is.

Listen to your podcast with Chad.

Yes, Pretend problems. Chad and I... Oh, sorry, go ahead.

No, go ahead. You, please.

Oh, I just said Chad and I have a few tour dates together in April. Oh, really? That we're doing for the first time. We'll be in Long Island, Montclair, New Jersey, and Philly doing a couple of theaters in a casino. So, yeah, please come see us there.

We're really excited for that. Okay, now tell Chad to settle down. There's room for both of you at the top. This could be Desi and Arnaz, right? You know what I'm saying? You guys could be the next power couple out there. Speaking of Justin Timberlake. That'll be fun. You could be Brit Lake. I saw you were at the Justin Timberlake concert. Was that you? Yes. Look at you.

She's a JT fan. I mean, aren't we all? I am.

Huge JT fan. Lifelong, instant fan, all of it.

I do bot my head to his music when the kids play it or Astrid plays it. I do. I can't say I'm the biggest fan, but there are a couple of songs. Is it In the Mirror, Looking in the Mirror? Oh, Mirror, yeah. Oh, yeah. He played that on Saturday Night Live once with a full horn section.

He was really funny on Saturday Night Live, too.

Yes, he was really funny on Saturday Night Live. Then he ran that stop sign in Montauk. Then the Hamptons. Then the Hamptons. Then we all turned on Justin. Uber.

Every famous person that has money should use Uber.

I know. Uber. We're going to give you one piece of advice because we've done so many of these stories. It's not even funny. Uber, okay? Thank you. Uber.

Then just get wasted.

Thank you.

Yes. Tell that manager to get you a drug.

Yeah. You and Chad drink all the tequila you want.

Oh, thank you. We're boring now. We've both been sober for almost a year, but...

We talked about this the last time you were here.

Yeah. Congratulations. I bet you feel great. We do.

I mean, You get older and you're like, It's too much. I can't. I'm already just tired from not sleeping right anyway. It's hard to add hangovers to it.

Passing out and sleeping are two totally different things. You only know that once you get sober or once you clean up for a while. I don't drink. I mean, I don't drink. I'm not a teetotaler. I would never, ever not have another drink. I don't go to AA meetings. But because I have children, I haven't had drinks in a long time. I haven't gotten drunk in a long time. And I will tell you what, there is something about it that has been quite life-altering in so many different ways that are easy to see now in hindsight, but would have been difficult to understand when I was drunk.

Yes. I feel the exact same way. It's hard to actually be like, Okay, am I really going to stop doing this completely? But it does feel so good that it's... I don't know. It hasn't been quite as hard as I thought.

You don't even want... It feels so good. You don't want drink.

You're like, Oh, I'm doing it. Once you get out of the habit.

Yeah. Do you really want to wake up hungover tomorrow? No, probably not. Because that kid's going to be bouncing on my face at five in the morning, and I don't want to deal with it. Thank you, Kelsey. Please tell Chad we said hello. You are welcome here.

I will.

Thank you, guys. Any time, Kelsey. And we appreciate you coming back. You're one of the few who agreed to it.

You guys are so... It's always really nice to talk to you truly. Thank you for having me back on. Well, thank you, Kelsey.

We hope to see you again soon. Congratulations on all of this success to see from Chrissy and I and everybody here at TCB. It couldn't have happened to a better person. And onward and upward. This isn't the last stop. We're given a eulogy, but it isn't the last stop. You're going to keep on going.

Oh, thanks, guys. Thank you. Oh, thanks again. Yeah. Have a good one. Okay. Don't chat. We said hello. You, too. Bye. I will. Bye.

Hey, it's Rachael, your new voice of God here on TCB. And just like you, I'm wondering just how much longer this podcast can continue. Let's all rejoice that another episode has made it to your ears, and I'll rejoice that my check is in the mail. Speaking of mail, get your free TCB sticker in the mail by going to tcbpodcast. Com and visiting the Contact Us page. You can also find the entire Commercial Break library, audio and video, just in case you want to look at Chrissy, at tcbpodcast. Com. Want your voice to be on an episode of the show? Leave us a message at 212 433 3TCB. That's 212 433 3822. Tell us how much you love us, and we'll be sure to let the world know on a future episode. Or you could make fun of us. That'd be fine, too. We might not air that, but maybe. Oh, and if you're shy, that's okay. Just send a text. We'll respond. Now, I'm going to go check the mailbox for payment while you check out our sponsors, and then we'll return to this episode of the Commercial Break.

Good old Kelsey Cooke. I do enjoy me some Kelsey Cooke. I do, too. Yeah, she's really, really sweet. She's solid. She's solid. But don't Don't let that fool you. Go to watch her special with your kid's earmuffs on because she's good. I think one of my favorite jokes was using a bidet in the middle of Minneapolis in the winter. It's like getting local anesthesia on your asshole.

I think one of my favorite ones was about her trying to connect with the daughter, Chad's daughter. Oh, yeah. Yeah, the whole Instagram thing. The daughter said, I'm unfollowing your boyfriend, by the way.

Well, she'll probably unfollow us, too, after this appearance, But we do like Kelsey Cooke. And kelseycooke. Com is where you get more information about her tour, about her specials, and about her podcast that she shares with that boyfriend. I think maybe in the future, according to her, might be a husband, but we don't care. We like Kelsey either way.

And Chad.

And Chad. But Chad hasn't come on the show yet. No. What's up with Chad? Why didn't Chad... Didn't we invite him on last time she was here? We said, Hey, tell Chad if he wants to come on, he can come on.

I don't know, but we have done the whole wife-husband thing with Hannah and Dez.

With Hannah and Dez. That's right. Yeah. Dez Bishop, he's also got his own podcast. He was a repeat, too, with us. He was a repeat. Reggie Watts was a repeat. I think there are a couple more repeats. Some of your favorite guests coming back up because they can't get enough of the commercial break. Listen, they all want to be like Kelsey Cooke. They all want their careers to go skyrocketing to the moon. Yes. Yes. Des Bishop, Reggie Watts, Kelsey Cooke. Who will be next? Stay tuned. Stay Thank you. More surprises to come. Anyway, kelseycooke. Com. We appreciate her coming in. We really do. And she's welcome anytime. She's one of those. And Des and Reggie are one of those, too. There's lots of them, but there's a couple of them where you're like, Yeah, of course. It's too easy to talk to you. I know.

I could do it for hours.

Then there's a couple that... It's probably a mutual agreement that maybe not. Maybe this commercial break is not the place for me. I would say, Maybe not. You're right. I never thought it'd get to the day where I'd say, Well, no, thanks, celebrity.

Don't come on the show. I'd like to have Heather again, but she might be too big.

I don't think Heather McMahon is coming back on the show.

We caught her. See, another one. Another one. She came on our podcast. Heather McMahon.

Hannah Berner. Hannah Berner. Hannah Berner. Hannah Berner.

Kehlsi Cooke. Career explosion in a good way.

Career explosion. Yeah. It seems like we have the Midas Touch for everybody but ourselves. Exactly. Yes. The Midas touch for everybody but ourselves. Then I saw Felipe Esparza on Joe Rogan. Now, listen, whatever you think about Joe Rogan, he is sometimes the king of the hill, and to be on his podcast is a big deal. I just saw him on Joe's podcast.

I saw that, too. I saw that he was on there, too. I heard that Rosebud Baker was on the Today Show.

Rosebud Baker on the Today Show, on the Tonight Show. I mean... Yeah. Wow. Maybe there is something to this commercial break. Celebrities pay attention, and you're welcome on. You have to go through our agent, though. Talk to our people. All right, TCB podcast. We'll just call it. We're good. Tcb podcast All the audio, all the video right there at one location and your free schwag at the Commercial Break on Instagram, TCB podcast on TikTok and youtube. Com/thecommercialbreak. You know the phone number, text us questions, comments, concerns, or content ideas. Christie, that's all I can do for today. I think so. But I'll tell you that I love you.

I love you.

Best to you. Best to you. And best to you out there in the podcast universe, including Kelsey. Until next time, Christie and I will say, we do say and we must say goodbye.

It's 30 in the morning.

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