Transcript of TCB Coloidal Colada Coolers

Hello and welcome back to WSHIT's Evening News. It's news you can use before you snooze. Wshit, Lean and Mean, and first on the scene. An update on the continuing health care from Donna's Derry Depot and Delicatessen. With over 137 people now affected by the ongoing dysenterory virus found in the milk and cheese buffet, authorities have yet to stop the spread of the illness. With almost all FDA employees now unemployed, Crab Apple continues to see its residents fall ill with symptoms ranging from violent vomiting and fever to explosive diarrhea and tooth loss. The head of Crab Apple's Health Department, recent RFK Junior appointee Dr. Hervin Skolko held the press conference to address the community and give us advice on the extreme symptoms. Let's listen now to what the doctor had to say to the residents experiencing gastrointestinal issues.

A flame is going to come out because it will be on fire and nobody will ever stick a penis in your butt hole again.

Dr. Skolkhol also added that residents should take their daily dose of colloidal silver. We wish all the best to our anally challenged friends. We'll be back after this. Commercial Break.

On this episode of the Commercial Break. Listen, if we were in the wine cooler business, that's where it's We're going to do a merch drop. I'm not even going to say when because then it will never happen. But we're going to do a merch drop and like, Esther and I are talking about it. And now I'm thinking wine coolers. Why not? Yeah, let's do it. Let's drop wine coolers and then some weird hangover remedy made of beet juice. Beet juice and colloidal silver.

I like it.

Maybe we should mix our wine cooler with our hangover remedy. The drink that gets you sober. The next episode of the Commercial Break starts now. 2: 30 in the morning.

Oh, yeah, Cass and Kittins.

Welcome back to the Commercial Break. I'm Brian Green. This is the Mikey to My More, Chris and Joy Haudley. Best to you, Chris. Best to you, Brian. Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Thanks for joining us. Did you watch the Oscars? We haven't had a chance to talk about it because this is our first episode since the Oscars appeared. Did you watch the Oscars?

I just a little of it.

The Oscars? No. If you didn't mean.

I did not watch the whole thing.

I'm doing that Conanin thing where he takes his hip and he moves it back and forth. You don't know the Conan thing? Yeah. He takes his hip, he moves it back and forth with the string. I love that. Yeah, okay. All right. So Conan did the Oscars. I think he did a job. He did just fine. Conan did just fine. He was a steady hand on the ship. He did a great, I think, intro monolog. He did a good job without offending too many people. He was really I like the bit with John Lithgau. You know, Conan is a good host. He's done this for a long time. He did whatever it was, 26 years, 30 years of late night television. So he certainly knows how to work a crowd. He knows how to be in front of a crowd, how to deliver a monolog, how to be funny. He's got a team of writers.

He never ages now that I think about it.

Conan doesn't age. Good docs are good genes. Question mark. Yeah, you're right about that. Connie doesn't age.

When you said he's been on for that long, he is. But Yeah, I haven't seen an age.

Yeah, his first television show, of course, came on... Was he on NBC? Did he come on after the late night? Yeah, he came on after the late night. He was after. After The Tonight Show, I think is what it was. But Conan O'Brien, from Moment One, was a very skilled comedian and a comedic writer. Oh, he's really funny. He's self-effacing. He never takes himself too seriously. He's humble in the face of all successes. Then when he got fired from The Tonight Show, he took over The The Tonight Show for two minutes. Then when he took over The Tonight Show, he became an international superstar. Not because The Tonight Show did well, it did not do well under him, but because he got fired in such an unceremonious way. Then that pompous Jackoff, Jay Leno. Came back after he promised he was retiring, came back for another 10 years. That's right. I forgot about that. You remember that? Yeah. Yeah, that made me... I was never the biggest Jay Leno fan, but that sealed it for me. I was like, That's a really shitty thing to do to your friend. But I don't think Jay Leno is friends with anybody.

I think Jay Leno is friends with Jay Leno. Do you know what I'm saying?

Yeah, and his car. Yeah.

I say all this to say that I think Konan is uniquely suited, like Jimmy Kimmel, to handle the Oscars or something like the Oscars, an award show that really needs someone who can bounce it along, keep it on time, tell jokes in between, improv when necessary, when he sees things happening, do it on the fly, and move to the next one. But it doesn't matter because the Oscars is a snore fest no matter what.

It's just- It seems like that. That's why I didn't really tune in.

It has really I saw when Ben Stiller came up and went like halfway up or something, he was introducing some category.

Oh, he was?

Yeah. I must have taken a pee break during that because I think I watched most of it, but I don't remember Ben Stiller. Yeah, he came on.

He was introducing something.

Speaking of Ben Stiller, Ben Stiller's show, Severance, has now become the most watched stream television show ever. It's so good. Something like 539 million minutes of streaming watched or something. So 97% Rotten Tomato score. A lot of people don't like it, but I do. I think it's very good.

I love it. I have a love-hate with it, though, because as soon as I watch the latest one, I immediately want to see the next one.

Yeah, you have to know what the next one is. It's so hard to wait. They just don't do it like that. I wish they would just dump a season on us. Dump a season on us, and then I can wait another two years for the next season. I'm okay with that. They can move the production along a little faster. That would be great. But I also understand it must be very hard to write this show. There's a lot of loose ends. You got to wrap up. They don't want to it. Then to film it- It's like a puzzle, too. It is like a puzzle. Anyway, we've talked enough about Severins. I'm a cuck for Severins here on the show. But I thought Konan did just a fine job. I think the Oscars is a snooze fest. I think it's really just become a boring jack-off show. Let's talk about it just for this segment, and then we're going to move on. You didn't watch the whole thing, did you? No.

But I was getting updates, too, on my phone of who won.

There are two moments of the show that I think were very interesting, and that was Konan's beginning monolog, the first 15 minutes of the show. They did a very nice tribute to LA and moviemaking and to the people who suffered horrible things during the wildfires over there in LA and the firefighters who, of course, were very brave and went in there and tried to save people's homes and businesses. That was very nice. Then there had been a lot of talk, and of course, it came true that Ariana Grande teamed up with, Oh, God, now I I can't remember her.

Irvivo or Cynthia Irvivo.

Cynthia Irvivo. They teamed up to do their whole wicked thing. Ariana Grande came out and she's saying, Somewhere over the rainbow. I noticed that she was lip-syncing somewhere over the Rainbow. I noticed that she was lip syncing, Somewhere Over the Rainbow. Now, I would imagine this has something to do with maybe her voice wasn't in great shape, maybe she wasn't feeling good, something along those lines. But I noticed that the music, the actual backing track and her lips were not 100% aligned. The cameras did not show close-ups when she was moving her lips while she was doing the lyrics. But then I also noticed when Cynthia came out to do the Wicked Song, Defying Gravity, that she was singing. It appeared that she was singing. You could hear the breaths, you could hear the lips, you could see that Ariana was singing.

That's like your favorite pastime.

It is my favorite pastime. I love to determine whether or not someone is lip syncing, and I like to call it out. Now, I don't have any problem with it because it's the Oscars, and you don't want to fall flat on your face during the Oscars, especially if you have a cold. Listen, this is coming from the former singer of 33 Penus. I'm not saying that I could do a better job. I'm just sharing with you that that's what I observed. I observed that she was lip-sinking during Somewhere Over the Rainbow and not during Defying Gravity. Cynthia comes out. It's mainly a Cynthia song, That Defying Gravity. There's a few lines for Ariana. She fucking nailed it. I mean, 100% Chills Up Your Spine, nailed that song, every note of it, and That, to me, I'm convinced that girl has got a voice among voice. She does. Such a tiny little frame and such a huge voice comes out of it. I will share. Well, no, I'm not going to share that because then I'm going to get to comments and stuff like that. Brian, should you? This is one of those moments when Brian goes, Should you or will you regret this 10 days from now when you have a list of text messages beating you off about what you just said?

Okay, I'm not going to share it. Never mind. You make your own judgment calls. But Cynthia has an amazing voice. She brought the house down, everybody standing up. I thought to myself, Okay, this is a great start to the Oscars. Let's keep it going as my children are screaming. My children doing their own version of Defyngraph. Somebody in the background. They're practicing. But then, honestly, it just became a snooze fest. It was award after award. The presentation style was not particularly interesting. He was not on camera enough, I think, to make super impact on what happened. He showed up for a few seconds, made a one-liner, and then went away, introducing the next people who were introducing the next category. The way that they did it this year, for those of you that didn't watch, and most of you didn't watch, apparently, because I looked at the ratings. Five people, best cinematography. Five people nominated, five people came out on stage, and then they would talk a little bit about that cinematographer. But they wouldn't show the work that they were talking about enough for you to get an idea of what they actually did.

They were talking about it. That's right. So how the fuck am I supposed to make a snap judgment about who's supposed to win? Isn't that the fun of the award shows? It's like, I have no fucking clue what they're talking about. I didn't see the movie. But if you show me 15 seconds of the cinematography work, then maybe I can make a snap judgment and be a Monday morning quarterback. That's what we all like to do. But they didn't give us a chance to do that because somebody's yapping about them, and I don't care. I want to see the work. If you're going to do best costume, let's see the costumes. Sure. Please. What? I don't understand. It was a gimmick. It was a gag, and I'm not sure it worked to great effect. That's my personal opinion. But then all the winners came up, they did their little spiel. Kieran Colken, I thought, gave a great speech. Did you see Kieran Colken's speech? No. Okay, so I'm going to talk to myself. Kieran Colken.

I read about it, though. It was something to do with his wife and then the baby. They would have another baby if he won the two awards. It was in an Emmy or- Something or a SAG or a Golden Glove. And the Academy Award.

They had two kids. They were going to have a third if he won one award. When he won that third award, the third kid award, she said to him out in the parking lot, because he had always wanted four kids. She said to him, You win an Oscar, and I'll give you the fourth kid. And he said- Third? The fourth kid. Oh, they've already got three? Yeah. So he goes, Yee of Little Faith, we're getting working on the fourth kid, which I thought was a very cute shout out. It was a very cute anecdote that he said. I didn't see the movie that Kieran was in, but I don't care.

I've almost watched it a few times, but I haven't.

What's that movie? Is it Jessie Eisenberg? Mm-hmm. What's it called? I am mine or You Are You?

No, it's something about pain, I think.

Oh, okay. I'm going to watch it when I have time. Astrid and I had the best of intentions, the best of intentions to at least watch two of the 50- Love Love is Blind? No, I don't care about Love is blind anymore. I'm done with it. I don't give a shit. It's too boring. This year, it's just too boring. The Midwesterners are not bringing the heat, and I'm not all that interested in it. I understand that there's some drama going on behind the scenes, but it's more interesting to read about it on social media than it is to watch it on the actual show. There you go. I know we'll finish it at some point, but we're just like, okay. We were going to make an effort to watch at least two of the 50 best motion picture. We're going to watch Nora, and we're going to watch Conclave. We're going to watch those two.

I saw Anora and Conclave.

We have not gotten to either of them.

Well, the thing is, I saw that Anora 1, and it was a good movie. It was not, in my opinion, was not a movie like, oh, my God. You know how some years there's those movies that win big? Because it's just like, whoa.

It's that movie.

I see why it won. It was so good. That didn't happen for me this year.

So many people are This movie is life-changing. I'm like, Life-changing? Really? I saw Amy Schumer doing a shout-out to the Anora cast. Really? And she was like, This movie was life-changing. Life-changing in every way. I'm like, That's a big statement to make about a movie. We've all seen those movies for us, personally, that have changed our lives. Mine is Pink Floyd: The Wall because I was high on acid. But anyway, I get it, but was it really that good? It only made 15 million. I thought it was a good movie. At the box office.

I thought it was a good movie, a great movie, but I wasn't like, Oh, my God, this is so good.

You know, so Mikey Madsen wins for best actress, and she beats out Demi Moore. I think Mikey is the safe choice for the academy, and I think Demi Moore- Her movie, Substance, was good.

Okay. I mean, I really enjoyed that.

Here's my take, and you tell me that Substance is in some ways a grotesque and weird movie. It's a weird character that Demi Moore is playing. It's not like a traditional Oscar-winning role. It's not a traditional Oscar-winning movie, but it was a very good movie, and she was very good in it. But I think the Academy, who is now a little bit younger in age, they changed a number of years ago. They put out the old and brought in the new, that maybe that particular performance is a hard one to move, to check the box of, and they go, Oh, well, Mikey was really good. My opinion is that Demi Morse, the role that she played was maybe not an Oscar type of... It's not a traditional Oscar movie. It's a weird French film about people crawling out of their skin. Isn't that essentially what it is? Isn't it about a substance that she takes?

Well, yeah. For me, it was more about the take on Hollywood or just women in in general, aging, and how if you had the opportunity to go back to being a younger self of you, would you? And so you take this pill, this substance. And then through that, there is a younger self that is born out of her body. And so that's the grotesque part is when you see the younger girl coming out of- Coming out of her body, right?

It's like crawling out of her own skin, right? Yes. But let me ask you this. You saw Anora and you saw Substance. Which one was the more... Which one was, in your opinion, was the better performance?

I mean, the substance was more of a shocking.

I think that's the point I'm making. I don't know that the shock value of the performance outweighs Mikey playing this vulnerable, edgy, sharp- Yeah, she was really good in that movie, but it wasn't life-changing, I don't think, for me. Listen, to each their own. There you go. Demi Moore. To be Demi Moore for just a moment, and that moment, to be sitting at the Oscars after- All these years. I don't know, 300 years of acting or however long she's been doing it.

After all these years.

From Bruce Springsteen videos to the friends, to being called a bit of a popcorn actress, I would say, like someone who can't do serious roles. She's just one of these light on their feet comedic actresses who did friends. What other performance has has Demi Moore done that has gotten such notoriety in such a meaningful way as far as a dramatic actress is concerned?

She's been so many things, though. I know.

She's been in a lot of stuff.

I mean, not officer and gentleman. You can't handle the truth. God, what is that movie? I can't believe it.

I don't know. A few Good Men. Oh, A few Good Men. God. Oh, that's right.

She was a dad. She was Indecent Proposal. I mean, Saint Alma's Fire. Charlie's Angels. She's been in so many things. It is hard to believe that she's never been up for a huge award before.

I can't believe she wasn't up for GI Jane. Gi Jane? Wasn't she up for an award for GI Jane or Strip Tees or something? Ghost?

Ghost? Ghost? Yeah. I mean, great movie.

I mean, All of these... I get it. She's been so much. I get that it's like popcorn actress, right? I understand what they're saying when they say that. But when you think back on it, she has chewed on a few roles that were pretty groundbreaking. Strip made so much noise when it came out. Oh, yeah. No, not Ghost, but GI Jane made so much noise when it came out. Ghost was a huge deal when it came out. Didn't Whipping Goldberg win an Academy Award for that? I think she did win I think she did. I know she did. I think she won an Academy Award for Best Support actress in that film. To be her sitting in that seat for just a moment and recognize that the movie that she just made is essentially coming true in real life. The whole premise of substance is happening right in front of her eyes. The young lady beats out the older woman who has seen her better days in Hollywood and has aged to some degree. It was just like life imitating art in such a weird way. I'm sorry. Very true. But I know there's a lot of reels going around with Dony Morris' face when Mikey Madsen's called out.

Oh, really? I think she handled it as graciously as possible, but you can tell. She was on a roll leading up to this, and then she just didn't get it. It just didn't happen for her.

I think her daughter posted a post shot of her in a bathrobe with two huge bowls of French fries. She was like, Whatever.

Somebody put it so sad that Courtney Cox didn't win an Oscar. I was like, That's not Courtney Cox. I get the joke, but it wasn't Courtney Cox. Okay, Quentin Tarantino came out and announced best director. I do have to say that Quentin Tarantino- Wasn't he supposed to have a new movie coming out or something? He's retiring. He's doing one more movie, he says.

But the one more has been supposed to come out for a while.

Yeah, but that's Quentin all the time. He's always saying he's making the next movie, he's writing the next movie. The thing about Quentin is he's got to have his hands on every single bit of the movie, which I think makes those movies uniquely Quentin Tarantino. But he's got to write every line. He's got to do everything. He's got to make the lighting himself. He's like that Christopher Nolan. The two of them, and James Cameron, they're super involved of directors. But I guess the best directors in the world are the ones that really take control of every single bit of it. Listen, I haven't met a Quintin Tarantino movie that I don't like. Exactly. I got to say that he is just such a cool cat. He comes out on stage and he's talking to people. Is he talking to the crowd as if it was one person at a bar and you guys were best friends? You get this sense that Quentin Tarantino is cool in any situation. I don't care how old the guy is. I think he's always going to be that way. He's just one of those cool That's what he does.

He came out, he did Best Director. Yeah, it's just him. I just wanted to share that Quentin Tarantino coming on the Oscars made it just a little bit more interesting than it otherwise would be. Morgan Freeman showed up to talk about his friend Jean Hackman, who had just passed away.

I did see that.

Under Extraordinarily strange circumstances. Extraordinarily strange circumstances.

Well, I don't know. I mean, I guess we're going to find out what happened. But it seems like, and I've talked about it with a couple of different people, it seems like maybe... I mean, Jean Hackman was 95.

And in failing health, according to some people.

It seems like maybe he died, and then the wife maybe committed suicide with the pills. Then there happened to be a dog that was in the kennel, and it died, too, of starvation.

Yeah, it's nine days, 10 days.

They didn't find him for- For nine or 10 days.

She was mummified.

Yeah, that's a long time. At first, it was shocking because you're like, all three of them dead, and it seemed like it was fresh. It just happened. But I think the timeline of events may have been different for all of those things to have happened.

Yeah, I don't disagree with you. When I first read about it, at first I thought, oh, there's something nefarious. There's a bandit's going around Santa Fe, New Mexico, killing people.

Or carbon monoxide people were talking about.

Or murder, suicide or something along those lines. But then when you hear at least the description of the scene, it appears one died first and the other one went after because of whatever. Or she died and she was his caretaker and he fell on the floor and couldn't get up. Something along those lines. I don't really... Obviously, more information to come. But when they talked about the dog dead, I was like, oh. But hey, listen, it is not strange for older people to die with their dogs in the house and they get eaten by the dog. I know Blue would be the first one to take a bite out of me. I know she would. Okay? That's why I don't like Blue, because I know that Blue would turn on me in a heartbeat. She may seem all small and not very ferocious, but if she didn't have food, that dog wouldn't go three hours and she'd start chewing on my penis. I know it. I just know All right. I do have to also share that they did a performance of The Whizz, which I thought was fine. Queen Latifah did a fine job.

It was fine. Ariana Grande and Cynthia and a couple of other people in the front row started dancing But the rest of the academy didn't even bother to stand up. It's the whiz. I don't know. I thought it just showed just everybody in the audience is boring, too. None of them are standing up and dancing in this extremely soulful catchy song, Ariana and Cynthia figured it out. Why didn't everybody else stand up? You don't have to dance. You can just stand up and do a little head bopping. But they didn't put any other great music in the show. I mean, you had the Bob Dylan, biopic that was there. There's so much great music from some of these movies every year. You could have showcased some of this stuff, and instead you pick The Whiz, really? I mean, I know that Quincy Jones was winning an award, but The Whiz was the only song besides the Wicked Song that made any impression on me whatsoever. There are only three songs played the entire time. The other one was... I think it was another Whizz song. I think they did two Whizz songs. Two Whizz songs?

The Whizz came out in 1971. It's 2025. I get it. I get why you're doing it. I get the through line here, but I think you could have added some pop, some music, something to move the festivities along just a little bit. Because then in the end, the most boring thing that happened the entire night was Adrian Brodie's insufferable six-minute acceptance speech. Adrian did this 26 years ago when he won for the pianist, and then he did it again this time. He literally told them to shut the music off while he finished what he had to say, and then he had to say, Nothing. Not a fucking thing that meant anything. Be good to each other. Okay, that's great, Adrian. We already know that. We get it. He basically made the same speech, 26 years difference, and just almost the same length. He beat out everybody else for the longest acceptance speech ever, ever, ever in the history of the academy, ever. And he only beat himself out for that particular award. He is insufferable, patting himself on the back and talking about how acting is a tough job and it's a fragile profession. I don't disagree, but there's millions of people across the that are watching you.

I don't know. It just came across as very jerking himself off, and I didn't care for it. Adrian is a fine actor. I've seen him in the show and a lot of stuff, and I like him when he's acting.

I want to watch the But it's three and a half hours long.

It's just as long as that fucking acceptance speech. For God's sakes.

You really have to block all some serious time.

It was so long that Hulu decided to cut off the last 12 minutes of the show because they had a hard out at whatever time it was, 10: 45.

I heard about something to do with Hulu.

Hulu was livestreaming it because ABC, Hulu, Disney, and they cut off the last 12 minutes of the show.

Which is basically where you find out best picture, right?

Where you find out best picture. Now, Listen, you didn't miss anything. I'm just sharing with you. You didn't miss anything. They could have cut out Adrian's fucking half of his acceptance speech and probably gotten an extra 30 minutes on there. I think it went on forever. Anybody who watched the lives knows what I'm talking about. It was insufferable, incoherent, and irrelevant. Relevant as far as I'm concerned. I think we should all be good to each other. I get the message, Adrian, but honestly, enough is enough. 30 seconds, fine. Move on to the next one and play a song that's been made in the last 50 years. All right, we'll take a break and I'll stop talking about the Oscars. It'll be back. Hey, it's Rachael, your new voice of God here on TCB.

And just like you, I'm wondering just how much longer this podcast can continue. Let's all rejoice that another episode has made it to your ears, and I'll choice that my check is in the mail. Speaking of mail, get your free TCB sticker in the mail by going to tcbpodcast. Com and visiting the Contact Us page. You can also find the entire Commercial Break library, audio and video, just in case you want to look at Christie, at podcast. Com. Want your voice to be on an episode of the show? Leave us a message at 212 433 3TCB. That's 212 433 3822. Tell us how much you love us, and we'll be sure to let the world know on a future episode. Episode. Or you could make fun of us. That'd be fine, too. We might not air that, but maybe. Oh, and if you're shy, that's okay. Just send a text. We'll respond. Now, I'm going to go check the mailbox for payment while you check out our sponsors, and then we'll return to this episode of the Commercial Break.

All right. I do also have to just say, I promise this will be the last thing I say about the Oscars. Where was the star power for the Oscars? No Clooney, no Brad Pitt, no Uma Thurman. I mean, there were all the regular grandfathered in actors and actresses that we usually see all dolled up sitting there in the front row. None of them there.

I thought Uma Thurman was there.

I didn't see Uma Thurman there, but I just noticed. Then I read there was a lack of that typical Hollywood elite that they're there. Not that it would have made it any different, but at least seeing Clooney all dressed up. That's a nice thing. You like to see Clooney dressed up. He's a handsome guy.

He is a handsome guy.

You look at the Oscars and they probably show him. If Clooney's there, they're showing him six or seven times during the Oscar. He's got that expressive face.

Because he didn't really have a movie out. No.

Clooney hasn't had a movie in 10 years. Where did Clooney go? What's the last movie he did?

Lake Como.

Yeah, Lake Como. That's it. Yeah, I guess when you have a private island in Italy, you don't go many places.

Fallacial estate.

Oh, my God. To be Clooney. All you have to do is those coffee commercials every couple of weeks.

You make $100 million. We also sold the tequila, the tequila brand. Oh, yeah, that's right. Because I don't need anything.

Why don't we have a tequila brand? Why don't we have something that's of value? Because the content certainly isn't it. I mean, I'd like it to be, but that's not making us any money. Why don't we start a wine or something? I would love that. Brian and Christie's wine coolers? Tcb lights? Tcb bubbles?

A wine cooler.

A wine cooler. Like a really syrupy blue ras Burberry wine cooler.

I like that idea.

Tcb, giving you a headache on a Tuesday night.

You know, like really cheap.

Yes. We'll get you drunk and make you feel like junk. Why not? Tcb, Wine coolers for teenagers. We'll target teenagers for our sales. We'll get like a Joe Camo collect character going on so we can target the teenagers.

We'll sell them at the I think due to doge deregulations, I think you can now market alcohol and cigarettes to kids.

Isn't that true? Yeah, it's got to be. I don't know. Listen, if we were in the wine cooler business, that's where it's at. We're going to do a merch drop. I'm not even going to say when because then it will never happen. But we're going to do a merch drop and Esther and I are talking about it. Now I'm thinking wine coolers. Why not? Let's drop wine coolers and then some weird hangover remedy made of B2. Bee juice. Beet juice and colloidal silver.

I like it.

Maybe we should mix our wine cooler with our hangover remedy. The drink that gets you sober. The alcohol drink that gets you sober. Brian, TCV wine coolers. That's good for the kids. Tcv wine cooler. Take the keys away. Hey, listen, it works everybody else. I see that Sam Morrill and his buddy, Mark Norman, and they have a whiskey brand. I think it's a whiskey brand. They have a whiskey brand. I see them out there promoting that all the time, and they're at parties, and they're at restaurants, and they're eating steaks, and they're drinking drinks and they're taking promotional pictures. It looks like a ton of fucking fun. Enjoying life. Yeah. While I don't drink all that much, that's not to say I wouldn't just to become a billionaire. I'd stay drunk for a couple more years. You know what I'm saying? I could deal with my kids if I had a private plane. If I had a private plane, I could drink wine coolers till I'm blue in the face. Tcb wine coolers. Helps with the kids. May turn your skin blue. Colloidal Silver, that's it. Colloidal Silver. We're making wine coolers, and the flavors are going to be colloidal Silver, homegrown vaccine.

We're going to do a bunch of them. It's just going to all be weird conspiracy theory names, and we're going to mix all tonics and stuff in there because the content is not making us a millionaire, for sure. We're far from that. But if we could get some cocktail or something that we could go sell, and then we sell it to the bigger liquor distributors, right? Isn't that how it works?

Yeah, I guess. I don't know. I feel like I've known a couple of people that have tried to break into that. It's so hard. It's so hard. It's so hard. Yeah, it's really hard.

Yeah, I had a guy- I think that's maybe why the celebrities do it is because they at least have a name to put with it. Yes, that's it. It's really hard to convince a distributor to put those on shelves, and then it's super hard to convince the people who own the stores to give you shelf space. If you don't have the shelf space, you're not selling the liquor. It's really a racket is what it is. But so are cereal aisles, too. It's the same thing. You can't make a new cereal and get into Publix. It just doesn't work that way. You have to show them that you can sell, convince them. You've watched an episode of Shark Tank, you know how it goes. I get all my information from Shark Tank, okay? Kevin O'Leary. But I will share that I had a friend who started an energy drink business, like an energy drink water. They went around to every mom and pop gas station. We all know the ones, the ones that sell crackpipes, and they have a Bitcoin And Y Brian 3000. Yeah, Y Brian 3000. They have a Bitcoin machine in the corner where you could buy Bitcoin by putting money into the till.

We all know those gas stations, and they went around to every gas station in the Southeast trying to get that sold. And they did. They would sell a set of time or whatever. They were doing this all out of the back of their truck. This went on for seven fucking years. They tried to get Coca-Cola to buy it. They tried to get Pepsi to buy it. They tried to get distributors to buy it. They tried to get some help. And No one. No one would even take a meeting with them. They were like, Yeah, get a number. Everybody's got this same idea, and everybody's doing the same fucking thing that you're doing. By the way, we can just make our own. Why would we buy yours? We can just make our own. We already have all the facilities and everything to do it. It's a really, really... Retail is a really, really tough business to get into. But then soda drinks or energy drinks or waters, forget about it. That's really tough. But since we are such notable podcasters, I mean, we're like number 106 on the comedy charts. So since we're like number 106 on the comedy charts, I think we could sell a case or two of this blue, colloidal silver energy/COVID vaccine drink, and I'll get you sober before you get drunk.

Kind of drink. It's a magical drink. It fixes everything, and it's endorsed by RFK Jr. That's all I got to say. What else do you need? By the way, Not going to talk too much politics here, but you notice that RFK Jr is singing a new tune about the measles vaccine? Yeah, he's realizing that under his watch, he doesn't want millions of people to die. So he's like, About that measles vaccine?

That measles thing is scary.

That's very scary. It's scary.

I started thinking about it. I was like, Am I updated? I don't remember when I had mine. I don't know. Are you just updated for the rest of your life?

Yeah, I got one 10 years ago, I think. I think I got one about a decade ago. When I turned a certain age, when I turned 20, about a decade ago, I did get an update. I got tetanus.

I remember getting an updated tetanus shot.

I got tetanus and an MMR shot, I think. Measles, mumps, and rubella. Meesles, mom, rubella. Meesles, mom, rubella. Yeah, that's all we need is rubella to come What is rubella? I don't want it to come back.

Meesles sounds terrible, too.

Meesles is like chicken pox on fire.

It sounds really bad.

Yeah, you do not want the meesles.

It gets your brain swells, I think, too.

Your brain swells, you get super fevers.

And you don't get rid of it.

No, it stays with your body the entire time. It's just like the chicken pox virus. It stays in you dormant, ready to come alive at the next, shitty stressful period in your life and attack you. It's not a good thing. It can morph, it can mutate. That's That's why in the last 100 years or whenever they've started the measles vaccine, there have been few, if any, fatal cases of the measles. Now there have been six in a short period of time. I think, listen, People can be wrong and then they can be right, and you got to applaud them when they're right. I do applaud the fact that RFK has come out and said, take the measles vaccine. It does save lives. I can applaud that. But I mean, the damage is already done. There's 168 people in Texas that have the fucking measles, and most of them are children. It's like, some of my kids do not have their full course of vaccinations yet. Just sharing that I firmly believe in the science, and every other doctor that I've talked to has said so. The only people who have cautioned me against vaccines are people who don't wear shoes and smell like a dirty rat.

Do you know what I'm saying? They're still looking for their career path at 67 years old, and that seems to be following fish in a van. So listen, whatever it is you personally choose to do, do it. That's fine. But also there is this community aspect that is to be considered, that if the measles mutates and becomes something we're not vaccinated against, most of us, then it becomes a real shit show. And I think that is the concern now. It's like, yay, welcome. Round two. We're all going to... Yes, this is idiocracy live. It's happening to us live. It's fucking insane. I know. Speaking of idiocracy, I'll share a personal story. I'm sharing this as a cautionary tale, and I will say this before I get started. I am not proud of the way anybody acted here, except for the innocent person involved in this, and then I'll share this. The other day, I go to pick up one of my kids from school, one of my daughters from school. Her school is in a... I didn't even want to say that. It's in a building that is multi-purpose. It's not just a school. There are other things that are going on there, but it's very small.

It's not a big school at all. It's probably 70 kids in the entire school. This is not a regular school. This is like a preschool. There is a decent-sized parking lot there. The parking lot is like every other parking lot you have ever been in in your entire our life. That is two rows on opposite sides of parking spaces. On one side behind it is the building, on the other side is a forest, a county forest. Okay? Okay. And walking trails and stuff like that. But that is also very small. So parking lot, two rows of parking spots, and then a lane for people to drive in. You understand what a parking lot is. I don't need to explain it to you.

Yeah, thanks for the visual. All right.

So I go in this little traffic circle to go pick up my daughter, and then you can either go right into the parking lot, you can go out that way, or you can go left into the parking lot, and you can go that way. Two different streets, two different ways to go, and I like to go left. I could go right, but I like to go left. That's just the way that it is. When I am approaching the traffic circle, I notice that there are cones in the parking space. If I was to take that left, there are cones in those parking spaces, and I can see at the corner of the parking lot, near the exit, is a tree truck. Someone is cutting down trees. Oh, okay. It's got the big, grinder on the back of it. There are a couple of guys over there with the yellow vests on, and I can see that they're doing some work. Fine, whatever. Okay, I guess they block off the parking spaces so that in case any tree limbs fall, no one gets hurt or they need the room to navigate. I don't know. I don't care.

I don't think much of it. As I pick up my daughter around the traffic circle in the middle of the parking lot, and then I go to the left, I'm driving by where the cones are, and there is a guy that's picking up one of the cones from one of the parking spaces. I've got my windows down. It's a nice day. As I'm driving by him, he whips around, whips the cone at my car, and screams obscenely. What? Listen, I'm not throwing stones in a glass house. I am not exactly the picture of vocabulary. I often use cusswords in my daily life, and I don't shy away from doing that around my children either. I think they need to understand how real people talk. I think we were talking about this with Kathleen. Madigan, who will be on next week. So he goes, Motherfucker, did you not fucking see I'm putting fucking cones here? He's screaming at me. He's got a hard hat on. He's probably 20 something years old, long long beard, screaming at me. Windows are down, daughter's in the car seating the back. And I was like, No, I did not. And I was like, Fuck you.

Because now I'm pissed. He's thrown a cone at the car. He's screaming He's screaming obsenities while my daughter is in the back. That's a scary thing, probably for a little kid. But it's also scary for me because I don't know what this guy's intentions are. I see that you have the yellow vest on. I understand that you're upset, but I don't know what about. I don't see you putting cones anywhere where I'm not supposed to be driving. The lane is clear. That's where I'm going. And so he runs around the car to the side of my car, grabs on the inside of the car, and is screaming at me through the window. Can you not fucking see I'm fucking blocking this lane here. Can you not fucking see that? And I drove. I just drove. That's what I did. I just said, Yope, not even staying here for this. I am driving. But as I am driving forward, another young guy, they're like twins, right? Long hair, long beard, the whole hard hat, yellow vest, the whole nine yards on, jumps from... So now I'm driving toward the exit, and there is a guy there sitting near the truck, and he runs out into the middle of the road and throws his hands up.

Really? Yes. And now he's screaming at me, There's a fucking tree coming fucking down. The fuck you think you're doing, you fucking asshole? And I'm like, I don't fucking care. That's what I said to him, I don't fucking care. And I drove. Now, both of them, by the way, now the other guy has run up to the car. So now there's two guys standing there screaming profanities into my window. And I say, I don't I'm going home. That's what I said. I drove. I drove out of the parking lot. There was no tree down. They were 50 feet away from anything that... I didn't see any work being done in the middle of the road. I wasn't endangering anybody's life, including myself or my daughters. Had I thought that, as embarrassing as it would have been, I would have backed up and gone the other way. But that was not happening. There was no tree. There were no tree limbs. There was no... I don't even... Those guys weren't even working. They were sitting there yelling at me. It's like, What are you doing? So I drove as fast as I could and I sped out of the parking lot.

And as I sped out of the parking lot, I'm like, holy shit, because I'm sure some of the parents saw that, right? They had to have. It's not that far from where the traffic circle is. Number Number one. Number two, I probably could have reacted a little bit differently. Maybe cooler heads could have prevailed. Maybe I could have said there were no cones blocking the area. But maybe I could have said, hey, do me a favor, stand behind my car while I run over you real quick. That will make sure everything's okay. Second of all, it's not a police officer. It's not like this guy has some measure of control over what happens. There's clearly no present danger in front of me. If he was going to put cones in the lane so that people couldn't drive there, he hadn't yet done that. He was in the process. But it didn't look like that to me. It looked like he was picking up cones from the parking spaces, and he didn't need to scream obsenities.

Yeah, that was uncalled for.

You can see my daughter in the back seat because the windows are down. I know that you can see this, and screaming and yelling like a fool is not helping anybody. The guy simply could have put his hand up and just said, Hey, bro, listen, there's a tree being cut down there. Can you back up for me? Now, I also could have just backed up and turned around, but I just felt like in the moment, adrenaline took over.

Well, being screamed at, I was going to say your adrenaline had to have been totally pumping.

Well, he threw the cone at the car, too. That's a little Yeah, that's aggressive, just to start. Yeah. It's like everybody is so on fucking edge all the time that it really is a scary time to be alive, right? This guy was so on edge about someone driving past him that he was willing to put people in danger, including himself, in order to get his point across. But what was the point? The point was what? There was no tree down. If you really thought that people were in danger, you You should have put the cones on there long before you decided to cut any trees down. Do you know what I'm saying? All right.

That's bad coordination, too, on their part. Terrible. I mean, it's pickup time.

It's a pickup time. It's a pickup time at school. That's not cut down trees. Anyway, I'll talk more about it. Let's take a short break and then we'll get back.

Rachel here. While Brian takes his old man bladder to the little boys room, Let's Talk Turkey. Tcv needs your help. If you love the show, do us all a favor share. Sharing is caring, and we know you care. Don't you? Well, don't you? Oh, that was some childhood trauma. Rearing its ugly head. Do you want to be on the show? Leave us a voicemail at 212-433-3828. 2022, and you could be the next TCB disembodied voice. What'd you do today? I was a disembodied voice? That sounds more dangerous than it actually is. Find us on Insta @thecommercialbreak. On the web at tcbpodcast. Com, and all the episodes on video are available the same day at youtube. Com/thecommercialbreak. I'm going to go help Brian get back up the stairs while you listen to the sponsors, and then we'll all meet back here and get back to this episode of The Commercial Break. I'll take a raise now. Bitches. Bye. Yeah.

So there's my Tuesday afternoon. Okay. There's my Tuesday afternoon. Damn. Yeah. And then it stuck with me for the rest of the day. Of course it did. I'm replaying in my head. My daughter is scared. She didn't say a word the entire ride home. I was like, Listen, honey, this is a little hard to explain. But I drove by those guys asking me to stop because I didn't want to get into any more of an argument with them. I'm sorry that you had to see that. Even Daddy probably could have been a little cooler head. 99% of the time, I'm really not that guy. I don't go around yelling at people. I'm actually quite the opposite if you find me in real life. I'm not quiet. But I certainly wouldn't be the guy yelling in the middle of a grocery store or something like that. But man, it just all happened so quickly. I was like, whoa, I got nervous that my daughter was in the back. I didn't like the fact that the guys were in my car yelling at me, essentially. I quickly recognize that they are no state authority that I have to listen to.

Get out of here, right? Right. Get out of here before it escalates and someone says or does something stupid that you can't take back. I mean, whipping a cone in the car, it's a pretty extreme measure It really is. To take over your tree job. You know what I'm saying? Not that tree job isn't cool. It's cool. A tree job. I know I've had whatever. A tree guys are tree guys. But it just seemed a little hot-headed for the moment.

Yeah, it hit the car.

Yes, he whipped it right at the bumper. And I was like, wow, what just happened? Anyway, that was my Tuesday afternoon, Christie. The world is on fire. Everyone needs to take a breath. Rev down. Rev down. Everybody rev down. Hey, tree guy, if you're listening, I could have handled it better, but you could have also. We all could have handled that a little bit better, and especially around the children.

I love that the second guy came jumping.

The second guy came to his defense. He literally popped out of nowhere and he had his hands up with that yellow thing. I thought for a second- Yeah, they really should have locked down that area way before any school pickup was happening, if that was that important. Absolutely. If you're cutting down trees and you're concerned about cars getting hit, don't even allow that lane to be open. Exactly. Close it down. And it wasn't closed. I didn't run there were any cones. There was no tape or cones or anything in front of me. I was driving on a clear lane, which anybody would have done because the part that was closed off were the parking spaces, not the lane. If you needed that lane clear for the work that you're going to do for safety purposes, insurance reasons, whatever, do it like 40 minutes before you intend to cut down any trees. That's the first action you should have taken. But no, you thought whipping cones at cars would be a better way to stop them from getting the danger. I don't know. I'm just sharing that with you. So, tree guy, if you're listening, tree company, we all could have handled that better.

I think that's clear. Okay? All right? All right. Enough. Speaking of, let's to rev down. Casey Anthony is back. Did you see this?

I did see this in the news as like an educational person. No, a defendant. Wait.

She is- Legal. Legal. Legal. Legal analyst. A legal observer.

Legal analyst.

Analyst. Yeah, a legal analyst because you've been encased in the judicial system for years of your life. Listen, Casey Anthony popped on TikTok, and I don't think she's had social media ever. Or maybe certainly not since Kaylee Anthony went missing and then was found dead in the trunk of a car. Her daughter. Kaylee Anthony comes on TikTok and shares that she has been in the legal field for 20 plus years and that she is going to now be a legal advocate for those that are missing or murdered, young children that are missing or murdered, including her daughter. Hey, here's a little advocacy work on behalf of your daughter. Don't kill her in the first place. Unbelievable. Is Casey Anthony, the last person we really need to come trouncing into this shit show that we already have? I'm being dead serious. Please do not give this lady any breath of air into her social media. There are going to be lots of people who buy into this bullshit, but I got to be honest. When I saw this TikTok pop up, it was somebody else's real that they were showing, basically saying the same thing that I'm saying.

I was like, no way. Did Casey Anthony just talk to the camera and say she's going to become a legal advocate for children in trouble? I mean, this girl was out partying while her daughter was missing for 31 days until she called 911. That's unbelievable. That's like the worst parent ever. And now she's going to be a legal advocate for kids? Unbelievable. Unbelievable. Casey Anthony was like... Remember that trial? It was like the O. J. Simpson trial of the 2000s. Everybody had their eyes on that Casey Anthony trial because it was just such a weird thing that happened. Casey Anthony claims that she left her daughter with some nanny, a Mexican lady. She left her with a nanny while she went out partying with the guy that she was dating for a couple of days, and then she came back and the nanny said she didn't know where her daughter was. Well, it turns out that she was in the trunk of a car the entire time, and then she was buried in a plot of land not too far from her parents house. Then her parents were strangely defending, but not defending her. Her dad was supposedly may have covered some of this stuff up.

I mean, the details of the trial are just horrific. The guy that's having children, I can't understand for the life of me how 31 days passes before you notify the authorities that your daughter is gone. That's insane to me. But that's what happened. And why anybody would ever take legal advice from Casey Anthony is beyond me. It's beyond me. Why she would have the audacity to think that anybody would want to accept that advice. I hope this is playing just like it's playing for me, and that is what a terrible fucking idea. But you know what, Chrissy? There is a dumb dumb born every second. There are a lot of people on this Earth, and most of them are not well. And some people will follow Casey Anthony thinking that she's innocent. Some people may not even know who she is. I'm sure. And she will have her moment in the sunlight, and that's the part that drives me crazy. Just like that OJ Funkin' Simpson. Oj fucking Simpson. I watched another documentary.

Oh, I saw that there's another documentary. I was like, not going there.

I am so down the rabbit hole with anything OJ Simpson, and I don't know why. I think because it consumes such a large part of my formative years. It was like two and a half years of all of our lives wrapped up and ensconced in nothing but the O. J. Simpson trial. Just like everybody else on Earth at the time, we were all big fans of the Naked Gun and all the movies that he was in. Everybody loved O. J. Simpson. Then to think for a second that he would essentially brutally murder these two people was a crazy idea at first. Then the slow chase and then all the drama and then the trial and the backdrop of the Rodney King. It's a very weird period of time in American history, pop culture certainly. But that O. J. Simpson went twiddling away, free as a bird, and he couldn't even keep himself out of trouble for more than 15 minutes.

No, he got arrested again.

Yes, for kidnaping. In Vegas, something? Yeah. He brought a gun to get some of his signed helmets back. I mean, OJ, honestly, if I had one piece of advice for OJ, if I'm a friend of OJ's, it's like, Dude, God just kissed you on the forehead. Never even think about jaywalking again. Don't even think about it. Go to the golf course, make new friends, live your life, be a good citizen, never get in the crosshairs of anything legal again. And yet he tempted fate over and over and over again. He did that. Remember, Fox bought that If I did documentary, he wrote a book.

O.

J. Balzy. Balzy. O. J. Wrote a book called If I Did It. And then he wrote how he would do it if he did it, if he murdered his wife and Ron Goldman. The crazy part was that it didn't matter because he was acquitted, so no one could say anything to him. He just pretended like, If I had done it, this is how I would do it. Then Fox bought a documentary that had OJ talking about how he would do it if he did it so that they could put it on there. Fox, a bastion of class and taste. Fox. When I think about class and taste, I think about Fox. That's what I think about. All right, well, listen, we're going to be back tomorrow. Fear not.

Hopefully, everything goes okay in the parking lot today.

Well, I'm not going back to that parking lot for a couple of weeks.

Okay, you're done. I really thought some of the parents might start texting Astrid because Astrid knows a lot of the parents and be like, What just happened?

Why was your husband in the parking lot reaching away. I got so nervous. And Astrid was like, Who fucking cares? What? No one cares. Whatever. It's just a thing. It happened. And I'm like, Yeah, but I don't know. It felt bad to me. It felt like an exchange of negative energy in a way that I usually don't navigate in the world. So I got upset about the whole situation.

I can understand. Yeah.

But what are you going to do? I apologize to the tree guy for driving around you. So now you can apologize to me for being an asshole. You're probably like that all the time. You're probably a jerk off most of the time. No, I'm kidding. I don't know. Probably. 212-433-3tcb. 4333-tcb. Questions, comments, concerns, content ideas, you can text them there, or you can go one step further. Rev down. Leave us a message. Tell us your crazy story that happened to you today. And then maybe, maybe just maybe, we'll review that on a future episode. Also, if you would like to be on the commercial break as a guest, you got something interesting to say, you just want to join the show, you want to say hello to us, text us or call us and leave us a message and let us know, and then someone will get in touch with you if we find you suitable for the show. And by suitable, I mean you are breathing. Yeah. You can talk and you can breathe and you got a good cell phone connection. We're going to start taking a listener phone calls, Christie, if you don't mind, if that's okay with you.

I would love that. What else? Tcbpodcast. Com. All the audio, all the video, more information about Christie and I. You can also get your free Tcb schwag right there on the website. There's a drop-down menu says, I want my free sticker. If you leave us your physical address, we'll send you something. No must, no fuss. We don't even keep your email addresses. That's how dumb we are. At the commercial break on Instagram, TCB podcast on TikTok, and all the episodes on video the same day they are here on audio at youtube. Com/thecommercialbreak. Okay, Christie, that's all I can do for today. I think so. But I'll tell you that I love you. I do love you. Best to you. And best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Christie and I will say, we do say, and we must say goodbye. What the fuck am I doing here?