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Transcript of The Great Wolf Mayhem!

The Commercial Break
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Transcription of The Great Wolf Mayhem! from The Commercial Break Podcast
00:00:02

Has this ever happened to you? Hey, nick. Hey, Chad.

00:00:06

Are you going to Harmonies' pool party this weekend? I heard it's going to be a straight rage.

00:00:09

Yeah, I'd love to go, but the 5G cell phone towers are frying the measles vaccine in my veins and giving me a limp noodle. Plus, I can't afford that expensive beer made by global elites.

00:00:18

Bummer, nick.

00:00:19

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00:03:11

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00:03:20

On this episode of the Commercial Break. But now-Exactly. And I'm trying not to pass this germ phobia onto my kids. But now when they take their shoes off in a hotel room, I'm like, put your shoes back on, put a socks on or something. Yeah, we have socks. Because I know- Socks. Socks. I know, just like every other adult knows that that carpet, if that hotel is more than a year old, has seen all kinds of DNA on it. All kinds of DNA, and I don't want to make you to deal with it.

00:03:50

It's a crime scene.

00:03:52

It's a crime scene.

00:03:55

I bet.

00:03:56

I bet. The next episode of the Commercial Break starts now. Oh, yeah, Cass and Kittons. Welcome back to the Commercial Break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co-host of this show, Chris Joy. Totally best to you, Chris. I'm saying. Bestie, you, Brian. Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Thanks for joining us on yet another episode of The Commercial Break. Hey, listen, I want to make today all about listeners. Listeners, listeners, listeners. You, the listeners. I want to waste no time. It's Listener Appreciation Day. It's Listener Our Appreciation Day. That's right. We're going to be having a listener call in later. One of our first listeners that's ever called in. I know. I am excited, too. We've been texting, interacting for a while. I'm interested to find out how long she's been listening to the show, but she texted us for the first time after she heard my story about the Great Wolf Lodge because she is an employee or was employed by the Great Wolf Lodge. Not the same one that I went to, but there's a series of them throughout the country. Yeah, it's a chain. Yeah.

00:04:57

She was throwing a bunch of stories out there, and between me, Astrid and Christina, who I think interacted with her once or twice. I think interacted with her once or twice. It bubbled up to the top for me, and I was like, Oh, yeah, I would like to hear. I'd like to hear straight from the horse's ass, exactly the shenanigans that are going on.

00:05:14

Oh, you know she's got some good stories.

00:05:15

I know she does. So that later on in the show. But first, it's been a minute since we did an Ask T-C-B. So I thought now was a great time to do an Ask T-C-B. In the meantime, look at how cute one of my daughters is. Oh, Mine. You don't get to see a listener. Mine. That's mine. We're going to keep my kids out of it for right now. Yeah. Yeah, I think that's the best idea, actually.

00:05:38

Well, you tell enough stories about them.

00:05:40

I do, but I try to... I don't think I've... Maybe once or twice I've said a name. I don't give the ages. You don't even know how many children I really have. No. And I'd prefer to stay that way. Thank you very much. I think I would- You got a gaggle. I do. Just say that. I do. I have a gaggle. Okay, so let's give some shoutouts to some listeners. Let's answer their questions. What I have done is I have put together a series of questions that are specific to you and I, like about the minutiae of the show, about the actual commercial break. I thought, Oh, that's a good one. I put a couple of them together that have come over the years.

00:06:11

Yeah. After five years, we're catching on.

00:06:14

Yeah, after five years, we're finally catching on. First and foremost, it's cold in here, so let me turn off the air conditioning.

00:06:20

Thank you. I was going to say, have you jacked up that air?

00:06:22

I can feel it on my feet now, and that's always pretty annoying when my feet get cold.

00:06:26

Well, no. Here's a fun fact. If your feet are warm, it really does warm the rest of your body.

00:06:31

Well, here's- Same with being cold. Do you know that my mom did this when we were a kid? I have done this for friends, family, and my children now. All of your blood moves through your body, I think it's in about, I think it's 36 seconds. So your blood goes from your heart and back to your heart in like 36 seconds. Very fast, right? That your blood flows through your body. I think that...

00:06:54

Yeah, check that fact.

00:06:55

Yeah, let me check that fact right now. This is when we need somebody. Okay. How long does it take for the blood to flow through your body? About a minute. Okay, about a minute. It moves at three feet per second. Wow. That's fast. Your blood's really going, right? That heart's really going.

00:07:12

Your body is a wonderland.

00:07:13

Your body is a Wunderland, touch my hand. Kind of creepy, John Mayer, but you play guitar really good. But then you dated some teenagers and that wasn't so hot. Then you were here in Atlanta singing songs with another guy and you forgot to give him credit on the album. Sorry about that, John Mayer. But now you're with the Grateful Dead, so I guess everything's okay. Your body is a Wunderland, take my hand. Why, Georgia? Why?

00:07:40

That's why he is from Georgia.

00:07:42

Yeah, it's unbelievable. Now, totally different tangent. Just real quick. John Mayer was a local singer-songwriter here in Atlanta. Yes, he was. And he had another writing, singing, songwriting, writing partner that he would go and do gigs with here in Atlanta. The scuttlebutt was from people around that other guy and that other guy was that John went and took some of the songs, some of the tunes that they had created together, and he made it into that very first, very famous, very popular album with Wonderland and Georgia, Why Georgia, Why? That was unlike a lot of what John had done here in Atlanta, which was very bluesy, rocky thing. Now, he's come back to his roots. He is an excellent guitar player, by the way. Yes. Excellent guitar player. I really enjoyed the way he plays guitar. But the scuttlebutt was that, Oops, forgot to mention that guy. Yeah, forgot to that guy. But who knows if that's true or not true. I would imagine that if it was true, they've settled that score long since. There's been some lawsuit that got settled or something. Definitely. Or John just did the right thing because he does seem like a nice guy.

00:08:42

He does. Yeah, no, he really does. Yeah, he dated some young girls, but at the end, who has it? Apparently, everybody on Love Is Blind has. So there you go. I'll follow up on that on the next episode. We'll talk about Love Is Blind. Yeah, you got to get caught up. I know. I was saying this other guy was so emotionally mature and such a good guy. Then I read some stuff online that It may be indicated he wasn't. The blood in your body moves all through your body in one minute, and your wrists have these major arteries that go through them. We all know that. If you put a cool, damp cloth or ice on your wrists when you're extremely hot or warm water when you're extremely cold, in about a minute, your body will be warmed up because the blood is moving through there. So it warms up your blood. So there you go. Little tip from Brian. Now you know.

00:09:27

Also, socks.

00:09:29

Now, Also, socks. And turn off the air conditioning, Brian. Yeah. Okay. All right. So Dave from Chicago asked, Hey, Dave, thanks for listening. What is the wildest or most unexpected thing that has happened while recording an episode? Well, I know this. I think I know this one.

00:09:46

I thought it was right off the bat.

00:09:48

Which is what?

00:09:49

It was when we first started out and we were recording in the other room. And while we were recording, a part of the wall came down. Oh, yes.

00:10:00

Oh, that was pretty wild, too. Yes. We had some soundproof panels on the wall, taped on the wall, and a couple of them fell at one time, and it scared the holy shit out of both of us. I think it's still in the episode. It might be episode number 6 or 7. I mean, maybe not 6 or 7, but 30 or something like that. I thought about the time... I got to say this carefully because I want to make sure I don't say too much. But I thought of the time when all of a sudden the mic microphone was smoking. Oh, yes. And we thought the studio was on fire and we were freaking out.

00:10:36

The smoke was just pouring out of the microphone.

00:10:38

And I stood up and I was like, We got to get out of here. We're going to die like a white snake concert. Great white, sorry. It's like a great white concert. I think that would be it.

00:10:48

I mean, there's- There's always the lawnmower outside or blue parking, your gaggle of kids running around. But that's not too crazy. There's been a couple of times when I've literally stopped recording I was supposed to have been on a conference call or something like that.

00:11:03

Hey, everybody, stop. I'll be back in an hour.

00:11:05

Then there's the times we've recorded without actually hitting the record button.

00:11:09

Yeah, I mean, besides that, there's been not like anything too, too, too crazy. Jennifer asks, no indication of where Jennifer is, If you had to describe the show to someone that has never heard it before using only a couple of words, what would they be? Tcb. It's about friendship.

00:11:31

I've been trying to figure that out for five years, Jennifer.

00:11:35

We don't know.

00:11:37

It's two friends talking. We're at a bar. We're telling stories. It's not for everyone.

00:11:44

It's not for everyone.

00:11:45

I think it's a good one. But somehow we have a listener base.

00:11:48

I think it's relatable, ridiculous, and at times, redundant. I think those are the three words I would use. It's like you're a fly on the wall, and and a friendship that's existed for a very long time. It's like you and your friend getting together. It is a nonlinear conversation that goes all over the place. Right.

00:12:09

One person says one thing, it takes you off in a whole different direction.

00:12:13

I. E.

00:12:14

John Mayer.

00:12:14

John Mayer putting ice on your wrist, and now listener questions. That all happened in the first seven minutes of the show. Okay. Hold on one second. Give me one second. I want to make sure I credit this one, but it's on a different app. Terry. Terry says, Has there ever been a topic or a joke that was too outrageous to talk about or make in an episode? Would you be willing to share it here? Well, no, because it was too outrageous to say then. It's not going to be okay to say it now. I think there have been times when we have not aird episodes or parts of episodes because upon further review, they felt insensitive or maybe it cut too close to the bone. We were talking about a topic that maybe we should have waited a little while to talk about it, I guess, would be the best way to put it.

00:13:09

I can remember that. Yeah. But it's so funny because I was talking to somebody about this, and they said, Is there anything that it's too embarrassing or whatever you want to talk about? I was like, I used to feel that way, but not now. It's all out there. It's all out there. I'm numb to it.

00:13:28

I don't think there's anything that we personally feel is off limits. I mean, obviously, there are some things about our family members that we want to try and protect the people who didn't volunteer to be on this stupid fucking show. But as far as our own personal inner workings or inner thoughts are concerned, go back and listen to 700 episodes of the commercial break, there isn't too much in my life you haven't heard about. There might be a few stories, but it's just for reasons to protect other people who were involved in them who may not want those conversations had. But there are topics that we have talked about where we felt I'll think of one, and I'll just share the topic, and then you'll know, is that we frequently, especially in season two and three, we would do videos, a lot of videos. One of our favorite videos to do was my strange addiction or something along those lines. We found one about a guy who liked to be a baby, and he wanted to be a baby, but it was a sexual fetish. We felt That was very uncomfortable. Yeah, it was very uncomfortable.

00:14:32

We did the entire episode, and then we felt afterwards that fetishizing sexual behavior in this manner- Evolving babies.

00:14:41

Yeah, it didn't- Even if that's the guy dressing up.

00:14:43

It didn't sit well with us. It wasn't a very funny episode because Christie and I were like, We thought it would be funny. Goo, goo, gaga, pee, pee, poopoo. But it didn't turn funny when he was like, handjob, handjob. You know what I'm saying? It was like it got a little weird. Suck on your tits, handjob, thing. I was like, I don't know. There's another one that we just recently did where Mirica, the world's most advanced robot, was on. We may run part of this in the future. It wasn't that it was too outrageous. It was so depressing.

00:15:13

It was so depressing.

00:15:14

It didn't end up being a very funny episode. Chrissy and I were like, Oh, this.

00:15:19

It was a robot infused with AI, and it was frightening. It was literally frightening. I was still thinking about it. I think it took me an hour to get home that day, and I was still thinking about it after I got it.

00:15:31

Oh, I was thinking about it for a week. The same guy asks, What's a moment from the podcast that made you laugh so hard you had to stop recording? We've never stopped recording because we're laughing too hard. That's also a trademark of the commercial break, is that we laugh a lot on this show. I think COVID Christmas Castle, Waffle House.

00:15:56

The COVID Christmas Castle. Waffle House. I think I peed a little bit.

00:16:01

Did you really?

00:16:02

Yeah. And then the Waffle House.

00:16:04

Waffle House was pretty funny.

00:16:05

Was really funny. Waffle House. And there's been some other... There's definitely... What was... God. Well, I think Carl.

00:16:11

Oh, Carl was really funny.

00:16:14

Carl, when you first...

00:16:15

When we first started talking about Carl. And I was doing the voice. Yes.

00:16:17

Hey, girl. Hey, girl.

00:16:20

I can't go preaching on a full dick. That was pretty funny. Yeah. Even recently, there was one I can't remember what we were laughing about. It happens all It does. We're always laughing hard.

00:16:31

Even on or off the microphone.

00:16:34

That's right. On or off the microphone. A lot of times we don't even catch the funiest stuff because we're just talking about it here in the studio. Jane asks, If you could bring any bizarre, obscure or internet personality on as a guest, who might it be and why? I find these all the time. I would love to bring a lot of these people on, but I think at the end of the day, Frankie B is like the gold ring of getting in.

00:16:59

But we've said we don't want to have him in here because it's like, Don't meet your heroes.

00:17:03

That's right. Don't meet your heroes. I have asked a guy to come on who made the rounds over the summer. I think the popularity has faded because I don't see as many of his reels out there now. But he's a guy who makes music and he sings songs about his ex-girlfriend, but his voice is not good. The music is not great. It's very nonlinear. But the problem is, all of that stuff I think you could to tune your way into something. The lyrics that he writes are not really lyrics. They're conversations that he's had with his ex-girl. He'd be like, I broke up with you or you broke up with me because you said we didn't do fun stuff. But that one night I was on the couch with you. We were watching Netflix and it was really great because Love is Blind is our favorite show. Not a bit of irony. The guy was not... This wasn't a joke. This was like, he was singing these songs, but he was just talking the lyrics were just him talking. Everybody went crazy. I mean, he had hundreds of thousands of views on these videos and these songs, and I tried desperately to get him on, but I think at the end of the day, he probably listened to the show and was like, Yeah, I'm not going on to be made fun of.

00:18:14

That's not going to happen. There's lots of internet. I think Hauk to a girl, would be someone that I would bring on the show, though she's not obscure. She's pretty popular. She's pretty famous. Let's put it that way. But I would love to get in her head because Hawk to a Girl, or who's the girl who does the... What's her name? The girl that does the crazy dancing and drinking that I... I don't know. Anyway, you get it.

00:18:44

There's plenty of them out there.

00:18:46

Yeah, but there's one specifically we've been talking about a lot, but now I can't remember her name because we haven't talked about her in a while. We haven't talked about her in a while. Hawk to a Girl, I think, would be an interesting internet celebrity.

00:18:56

I feel like I've seen so much about her, though. I don't know what else we could uncover.

00:18:59

Well, I just like to dig in to not only what a shit show, Hawk to a Coin was, and all the things that she is hocking as Hawk to a Girl from Beats on a Beats website. She literally has her own Beats. Oh, really? Yeah, she makes her own beats, like drops, to the altcoin, to the meme coin, to the T-shirt.

00:19:21

She may not be legally able to talk about the coin situation.

00:19:25

Well, she has been talking about it. She showed back up and she did a podcast her own podcast where she brought on some people to grill her about this. And there was nothing else was answered. She just dodged all the questions. But even the people who were there as crypto experts were like, Dude, this was a total rug job. You really screwed a lot of people here. But what I think is more interesting, the angle that is more interesting is what it's like to get so famous so fast and how you handle that. She got a WME agent at WME, and then they sign her to a big podcast deal. This all happens basically overnight. She goes from complete obscurity to someone that everybody knows, and that's got to be a hard thing to do. Okay, so that's all the listener questions about the commercial break. But now, here, let me give you one. That is a relationship Friendship Question. This is Brad, I guess, is his name. My girlfriend talks in her sleep. A couple of nights ago, she had a full-blown romantic conversation Oh, no, his name isn't Brad. Excuse me, he doesn't give his name.

00:20:33

She had a full-blown romantic conversation with a guy named Brad. I don't know who Brad is. She swears she has no idea who he is, but now I am stuck wondering Do I confront her about the dream boyfriend or just accept that I am in a weird love triangle with her subconsciousness? That is an interesting question.

00:20:57

It is because you can't really be jealous because she's talking in her sleep. Brad could be somebody from a show she watched earlier. Yeah, true.

00:21:06

First of all, I'm going hunting on all her social media for Brad connections. That is happening for sure.

00:21:11

I mean, once is one thing, too. But if it's every night?

00:21:15

Every single night? Yeah. If it's happening more than once- Brad's making a repeat appearance. Yeah. If there is a guy making a repeat appearance, then he definitely is in her head, and for some reason- You might want to dig in. You might want to dig in. Listen, you can't control your subconsciousness. As much as I'd like to say that I have never dreamed about another woman since I met Astrid, that's not true, right? Because I can't control it.

00:21:38

I had one last night about Jack White.

00:21:40

About Jack White? Was Jack White giving you the slinky seven?

00:21:45

Well, we weren't doing anything. Having sex. Yeah, but I was at a concert, and I was meeting him and talking to him. We were friends. He was getting me backstage. It was a whole thing.

00:21:53

Then he was touching your boobs. I think because we were talking about the Rock and Roll Hall of Oh, yeah, yeah, probably. Yeah. Well, listen, I bet it- Again, stuff can slip into the subconscious. Yes. When I first met Asher, when Asher first came here to live with me, we got married, I had a series of dreams over the course of a month about Lisa Kudrow from Friends. Oh, you did? You told me about that. I was so... It was as if Lisa Kudrow and I had actually had sex. I remember you telling me about that. Yes. I was so weirded out. I I could not get her out of my head. I got to be honest, I wasn't a huge Friends watcher when it came out. I have not done the rewatch. I've probably seen a lot of episodes by default because it's been everywhere forever. But Lisa Kudrow is the The cast of the girls. That was not the one. Yeah, it was not the one. It was Jennifer Aniston every time. I wasn't even all that attracted to Courtney Cox, but she might be the second. It's not that Lisa wasn't attractive.

00:22:54

Of course she was. But something in my brain turned Lisa Kudro into the world's sexiest woman. But not Lisa Kudro now or Lisa Kudrow, the actress, the girl from Friends, Phoebe. She was Phoebe. It was Phoebe. It was Phoebe and that smelly cat. We were having sex multiple times in my dreams. It was really weird. I could not get it out of my head for a couple of weeks this went on. You can't control your subconscious. Obviously, I'm not sleeping with Lisa Kudrow or Phoebe, either of them. I wish I could. I will tell you right now that I don't think you can control your conscious. So if she's telling you that I don't know who Brad is and I have no idea why I'm saying his name, I'd take that on face value and just run with that, right?

00:23:39

Unless you go to an office Christmas party and you meet Brad, the boss. Brad. Yeah, that's right.

00:23:42

Unless she brings home some of her coworkers and Brad shows up at the front door. Hey, I'm Brad. I work in the office next to your wife. Then you might have some problems. But okay. All right, listen, we got to get Betty on the phone. Betty works for or worked for. We'll get some clarity on that for the Great Wolf Lodge. She's got a few stories to share with us. These may be cautionary tales. I'm telling you what. By the way, I'm not trying to poopoo on the Great Wolf Lodge. It's a great place to take the kids and kill a day or two or whatever it is. But we all know what goes on. Let's not try and pretend Great Wolf Lodge is something that it's not. I've told you about my story. I'd like to hear about other people's experiences. Especially an insider. An insider, someone that works there. So let's take a break, and when we get back, we'll talk more about it.

00:24:33

Let me do something Brian has never done. Be brief. Follow us on Instagram at the Commercial Break. Text or call us, 212-433-3TCB. That's 212-433-3822. Visit our website, tcbpodcast. Com, for all the audio, video, and your free sticker. Then watch all the videos at youtube. Com/thecommercialbreak. And finally, share the show. It's the best gift you could give a few agents Rang podcasters. See, Brian? That really wasn't that difficult, now, was it? You're welcome.

00:25:08

And taking a listener phone call now, Betty from the Midwest is here with us. Hello, Betty. Hi, Betty. Hey, guys. Hey. Well, thanks for calling in. We certainly do appreciate it. Betty was texting us because Betty was explaining that at one time, she actually worked for Great Wolf Lodge.

00:25:29

Inside A lot of knowledge.

00:25:30

The inside scoop on the Great Wolf Lodge. I love it. I said, You have to call in because I have to hear more about the inner workings of the Great Wolf Lodge, one of my least favorite vacations that I've ever taken, but it wasn't the worst vacation I've ever taken, that's for sure. But you got to understand, as an adult with small children, it was a little strange to see full-grown adults sitting at the bar, boozing themselves greatly to great effect while everybody else ran around peeing in the pool. Slipping and sliding. Being in the pool. Tell us, Betty, first of all, thanks for being a commercial break, one of the few commercial break listeners out there willing to say that they actually listen to your commercial break.

00:26:11

Hey, I advertise I have my stickers on my water bottle. The 21-event. Yeah, I got to get... No, I don't actually have the stickers.

00:26:25

Oh, you don't?

00:26:26

I don't know what happened to them. I requested We'll send you some more.

00:26:30

We'll send you some more.

00:26:31

We'll send you some more. Please do.

00:26:32

We will. Because I'll text you my address.

00:26:35

Okay, text us your address, and then Astrid will be happy to send you some pictures, I mean, some stickers and pictures. Esther likes to send listeners pictures, but maybe you're not her flavor. I don't know. How long have you been listening to the show?

00:26:53

Since the great pandemic. A long-time listener.

00:26:56

We've been a long-time listener.

00:26:58

Very long time. I think When I started when you guys were maybe 15 episodes in.

00:27:03

When we were 15 episodes in? You're kidding me.

00:27:07

Thank you for sticking with us.

00:27:09

Wow, Betty, I had no idea that you were listening for that. I had no idea anybody was listening for that.

00:27:14

No, we thought those people had all gone.

00:27:16

Yeah, we figured people had turned over a lot of times. No.

00:27:19

Wow. No, I stuck around.

00:27:22

Okay, so how long did you work with the Great Wolf Lodge? I mean, how long have you been associated with the Great Wolf Lodge?

00:27:29

I I am on my sixth year.

00:27:31

You're on your sixth year. Let's start with this question. Do you think people are absolutely the worst after working for the Great Wolf Lodge for six years?

00:27:46

Let me just say people, well, people. A person is good, people are bad.

00:27:53

Oh, that's a good way of putting it. That's true. Yeah, I can see that.

00:27:56

In other words, when you're interacting with just one person, they tend to be nice. But when a group of people is together, they're dismissive and the groupthink mentality takes over and people start becoming real shitheads. Is what I experienced at the Great Wolf Lodge also. Yeah, that was good. Yeah. Is that everyone just went wild. They went wild when they couldn't get their pizza in five minutes, but it was everybody working everybody else up is really what was going on. What is- It's a peer pressure type thing. Yeah, I think it's well-documented groupthink mentality takes and one person gets irritated. That energy can literally pass on to the next person. It does. Give me a little slice of some of the experiences that you've seen from the Great Wolf Lodge that would make us all turn our stomachs.

00:28:49

I've got three categories for you. Okay. It can be like Jeopardy. You can do Karen's stories, Okay.

00:29:00

I like Karen's stories.

00:29:00

We can do really, really gross stories.

00:29:05

I like those, too.

00:29:07

Or a really wholesome story.

00:29:09

Okay, why don't you do this? Why don't you give us one? Let's do it in this order, and we'll see if we have enough time to get through three. Why don't you go, Gross, Karen, we'll end it on a high note with wholesome.

00:29:22

Okay. All right. I have permission from my coworkers to tell you their stories, Okay, gross.

00:29:31

We've got a- Oh, yes.

00:29:32

Juicy. This goes deep. It's a conspiracy. I've been collecting them. Oh, my God. I love this.

00:29:39

One of my coworkers got a call on the radio that somebody had pooped behind the skiball machine in the arcade. What?

00:29:52

Oh, no. How do you get behind the skiball machine?

00:29:56

This is the thing. You're going to imagine that it's down pour rain.

00:30:01

Okay.

00:30:02

We've got water coming in underneath the doors. They had moved one of the little blockade… The screens that block the view of one of the emergency exits. There's a little passageway behind the skibull machines for maintenance for emergency exits. Yeah. There's a group of about four boys, and they have this on camera. There's a group, and they're playing skiball, and they're doing the basketball thing in the arcade, and suddenly they disappear from the screen. They found a way to get behind the ski-ball machine, and it's dark back there.

00:30:54

And dusty and whatever else.

00:30:57

And you have no... Yeah, it's probably full trash. He just parent-to-parent just pulls his pants down and just poops.

00:31:07

Just shits right there? Oh, yeah. How old is this kid? Are these 10-year-olds? Yes. Oh, fuck. They Yeah, that's the worst. I was the worst at time.

00:31:19

They're not little. They're just too involved, and they can't go across the park.

00:31:25

The hallway to poop.

00:31:27

To get... Yeah.

00:31:29

Oh, my God.

00:31:31

Okay, so- Worse on worse, okay?

00:31:34

Yeah.

00:31:34

The four of them back there are apparently all together. They're all involved in this.

00:31:41

They're all encouraging this kid to shit on the floor, essentially.

00:31:44

Yes, exactly.

00:31:47

It's loud in there. You can't hear a damn thing.

00:31:49

Oh, yeah. No. Lights, noises, bells, whistle, loud music, splashing. Yeah, it's very loud in that place.

00:31:58

It is. So One of the kids apparently throws up during the pooping.

00:32:05

Oh, my God.

00:32:08

Now you've got water coming in from the emergency exit. You've got kids in their playing in the park, in the arcade. Then suddenly it's poop and puke.

00:32:25

Oh, God. This sounds like Venice after flooding. This is like, this sounds really fucking gross. So, Betty.

00:32:36

You thought the pool was dead? Oh, the carpets are terrible.

00:32:40

Oh, no. I said this the second that I walked into that place. It had carpeting, which in general, in hotel rooms, I have learned... It used to be that when I was a kid and we got to a hotel room, it was the best thing in the world, the smell of chlorine and bleach and the pool. Something about a hotel I just got all of us brothers so excited. We love to stay at a hotel. We take our shoes off and run around the hotel room like every kid would. But now- Exactly. I'm trying not to pass this germophobia onto my kids, but now when they take their shoes off in a hotel room, I'm like, Yeah, Put your shoes back on. Put a socks on or something. Yeah, we have socks. Because I know- Socks. Socks. I know, just like every other adult knows that that carpet, if that hotel is more than a year old, has seen all kinds of DNA on it. All kinds of DNA, and I don't want to do It's a crime scene. It's a crime scene. I bet. I bet. Was management alerted quickly? Was this situation taken care of quickly, or did it take some time to figure out what had happened, or was the security keeping an eye on these boys?

00:33:47

She told me it took her three hours to get it cleaned up completely. Too standard.

00:33:57

Oh, my God.

00:33:58

You're a poor coworker.

00:34:00

You're poor coworker. These are the people.

00:34:04

We do have a little hand-hold carpet cleaner. Okay. Like your little best of your spot pot type of thing. It's loud because it has to be. Yeah. But she said she had to refill it like six times.

00:34:23

Oh, my God. I just can't even think of the minutiae.

00:34:25

Those little shitheads.

00:34:27

Those little fucking twats.

00:34:29

She said she had to wipe it off the walls.

00:34:32

That's the worst. Sometimes when you're on a road trip and you stop at the rest stop, if the rest stops are maintained, generally, there's a 24-hour maintenance person that's there that's cleaning. God bless those human beings who are doing that because that is the worst of the worst. But what gets me every time I go to a truck stop or rest stop or whatever it is, what gets me is not that people shit, that it smells bad or whatever. That's everybody shit.

00:34:59

It's the stuff on the walls.

00:35:00

It's the shit on the walls. And I'm like, How did you... How possibly could you have gotten it up there? How did that happen? You have to purposefully be aiming in that direction or something. I don't know because I have never been one that has ever thought about shooting shit on a wall. It's fucking disgusting. That is crazy.

00:35:20

They're like little monkeys.

00:35:21

Yeah, the little... They're like little monkeys. They are little monkeys, 10-year-olds. Did those kids get kicked out of the Great Wolf Lodge? Was there any conversation with the boy? Because I imagine if security has it on camera, then you have an idea of who did it, right? You see their picture.

00:35:37

That depends because you're all on wristbands. Identifying somebody, if they don't give a proper name, we can't know what room they're in unless- Got you. You have wristbands.

00:35:51

Plus, I wonder how long it was until it was discovered. I'm sure they didn't come out right away. Yeah, I'm sure it wasn't like one minute.

00:35:57

No, it was not. They're not going to tell anybody. Sure, no.

00:36:00

Of course not. But this is the best story they've ever told as a 10-year-old. They're all running around school telling this story about the time little Timmy- I'm sure. Shit on the wall of the ski ball machine in Great Wolf Lodge. Can I ask you a question while we're on PP Poopoo? Yes. How clean are those pools? The people who work there, do they have a general understanding? I mean, I understand there's a ton of chlorine in those pools, a ton. You can smell it. Absolutely, a ton. It It burns your nose, right? I'm sure they keep those chlorine levels at such high levels that no bacteria could survive more than a couple of seconds. But how many times a day do little kids shit in the pool?

00:36:43

We actually have a code for it.

00:36:45

Yeah, of course you do. What's the code?

00:36:48

We have an AFR, which is accidental fecal release.

00:36:54

Accidental fecal release.

00:36:57

I love it.

00:37:00

And they'll do an all call on the radio. And so whoever has the radio will hear this certain pool is closed for an AFR. Oh, my gosh. We will radio you when we're back open.

00:37:13

Yeah.

00:37:15

So they'll do that. They'll do a full half an hour treatment. Everybody's out of the pool. Everybody gets out of the pool. There's nobody allowed. They have to do the chemicals. They have to get the nets. They have to get the biohazard bags, and they have a specific place for all that.

00:37:38

Wow. Yeah, I was going to say, because you can't really drain the pool. No, you can't drain the pool. You got to just get it out of there and then- No, you can't drain a pool.

00:37:45

You got to just get it out of there and then- Cycle it. Yeah, to put chemicals in it and cycle.

00:37:48

Nobody's going to touch that. No, of course not.

00:37:51

No, of course not. This isn't catty, Shack. When you have an AFR, an accidental fecal release, I'm just like, Tina's laughing so hard. When you have an accidental fecal, it's making me laugh. When you have an accidental fecal release in one... The Great Wolf Lodge that I came to here, or I went to here in Georgia, there is the wave pool, there is the kid pool, there is the water slides. I'm sure they're all very similar in that sense. When you have a AFR in one pool, does everybody have to get out to the entire Great Wolf Lodge water park? Does everybody just have to leave? No. Or just that pool? No. It's just that pool? Just that pool. Okay. They all have their separate filtration systems. Okay, good. That's all right. All right. Somebody's working on it. Listen, it wasn't the most... I think I mentioned this on the show where I talked about my experience with Great Wolf Lodge. It wasn't the messy place. It was well kept. It was just seeing some of the people that were running around in there, one 10-year-old boy running around literally with his ass hanging out in the water, I was like, I'm in ass water right now.

00:39:05

That's what I'm in. I'm in ass water. I'm in somebody else's asshole water right now. And that skeeved me out a little bit. Has Great Wolf Lodge ever considered putting that chemical in the pool that turns pea a different color? I don't know.

00:39:20

That would be a good idea.

00:39:21

I don't know. Is that real or is that a myth? It's real.

00:39:22

You can get that. You can get it at the pool store. But it doesn't work in all circumstances, and it has to be at high levels of You can put it in the pool and it'll stay there. It'll stay there for like 30 minutes. But then it eventually gets filled. The chlorine overtakes it and whatever. I don't know. There's some technical shit. Okay, that is a pretty disgusting story. I'm thoroughly grossed out. I hate Pee-pee-poo-poo, and I definitely dislike Luke. And God bless the people who have- Got to have to clean that up. Do you hear me, listener? I don't imagine anybody who's listening to TCB. I like to think of our listeners as a very pragmatic, common sense, kind people who aren't adding to the drama of the universe. But if there's one of you out there or you have little shitheads, you have little yous that are running out there acting like you, can you please put a cap on the bullshit Because somebody out there in the universe has to clean up after your little chitlins, and no one wants to clean Pee-Pee-Poo-Poo off of the Skiball machine. No one. But that's somebody's job.

00:40:26

That is somebody's job.

00:40:27

Fuck them. We're not making much.

00:40:30

Right. I was going to say, God, if there's those situations, you almost need an instant bonus.

00:40:35

Yeah, I would think so. It always gets me that the people who do the most amount of work for us in the service industry are the people who are likely to get paid the least. You know what I'm saying? I'm not complaining because I was a bartender, but bartenders can bring home $100, $200, $300, maybe more in a night, depending on what restaurant you're in. We're just talking to hot chips and making cocktails all night long, right? But the guy who's cleaning the bus boy who's cleaning up all the tables and the bathrooms and all that other stuff, is making 10% of our tips. It always seemed a little bit... I guess that's just the way of the world. Okay, so tell us... I don't want to go on a tangent, not while you're here, Betty. I'm trying to be nice while you're here. Okay, so now- That's a change.

00:41:20

That's right. There she goes. She's got it.

00:41:23

I get no respect on my own show. No respect. But I guess I have no one to blame but No, you're good. Okay, so now tell us a Karen story, because God, do I love Karen stories?

00:41:39

Oh, yeah. Okay, so I texted you these, too, and I'm going to have you choose because we'll do We can do part two if you want. Okay. I can do the birthday cake, Karen.

00:41:49

Okay.

00:41:50

Or the Christian Boys.

00:41:53

Oh, God. We might do both of them. Okay, do the Christian Boys first. Let's do Christian Boys first. Okay.

00:41:59

You're talking a group of at least 10 boys. They're ranging in that same 10 to 13 age. Okay. Apparently, they were awarded this Wolf trip for something in their youth group. They're all wearing matching shirts. They're just... You know. You know where they're from.

00:42:26

Yeah. Little Hitler youth. Yeah. Okay. Go ahead.

00:42:29

Yes. Yes.

00:42:32

Think cult, I guess. They are a mess to society. They're running around screaming. They're throwing an actual football in the building across the golf course.

00:42:52

Oh, my God. I'd be mad. I'd be so mad if this was happening.

00:42:57

Because like, if it hits you, Yeah, or a child or whatever.

00:43:02

It's just rude behavior. Or it could break something. Of course. Yeah.

00:43:06

This is also video evidence. They get their food, okay? Okay. And proceed to have a food fight.

00:43:17

Oh.

00:43:19

Little fuckers. We had to go up there and clean those table areas.

00:43:27

Yeah.

00:43:28

It took hours because there's just pizza ground into the floor. There's salad, there's ranch dressing, there's soda. It looked like somebody had just literally flipped the table. There's chairs knocked down. There's only one chaperone visible, and he's on his phone.

00:43:49

Oh, God, of course.

00:43:51

I bet this happens every day at Great Wolf Lodge, that there is a group of children, and the parents are just as shitty. Not watching them. Yeah, they're just as shitty. They're not paying attention. If my son is throwing food in a public area, if one of my kids is doing that, I'm going to yank a knot. I'm going to jerk that knot right out of their tail, and they're going to be up in the room for the rest of the vacation.

00:44:19

We only wish that had happened with these boys.

00:44:21

Yeah, exactly. I'm sure they continued to terrorize the place.

00:44:26

They're running down the hallways. They're screaming. It sounds like somebody's being murdered in the building. Oh, my God. We have that long hallway we call Main Street, where you have your build a bear, your Dunk Donuts, stuff like that. They're running down there. We're thinking they're going to slip, they're going to fall.

00:44:44

We're going to have a big code three. Code three is a medical emergency?

00:44:51

Yes. Of serious nature, where you have to call an ambulance.

00:44:55

Yeah, there'd be a code three. Fist up one of these kids' asses.

00:44:59

Busting. Busted nose, broken bones. That's what we're thinking. They head into the lobby, and we've got that revolving door, right? Yeah. And this is also middle of winter. The The door is not revolving very fast. It's pretty slow, and people will complain because that's what people do. But these boys are in there, maybe four of them on each side of of the doors, and they're pushing it. They're pushing the doors. Now, our revolving door, when you touch it, it will automatically stop.

00:45:41

Fair enough. Safety feature. Yeah.

00:45:44

You got people pushing on it, trying to get it to open. It's not going to do that. If it can't see you, the motion detector, if it can't see you, it doesn't care if you're in there. You have to stay in view of that motion sensor in order for the doors to not stop. Wow. Simple comment.

00:46:07

Now they have four of them in each one? There's whatever, 10 or 12 kids. In the little section? Yeah, and four kids in each section? Yes. Oh, yeah, I gave it to her. So I can only imagine the doors are just stuck because these shitheads, there's four of them in there and they can't not- They're trying to push it.

00:46:24

They're stopping it on purpose and then letting it go and then pushing on the to make it go faster. They're just screaming in there. They're pounding on the glass. They're like, They're going to break something. The manager of the day, or manager on duty, the MoD, He's done. He's finished. These kids are, I swear.

00:46:53

They've gone too far. They've gone too far. It's enough. Yes. Where are the parents? We don't know. Where are the parents? There are no parents. Exactly. Where's the chaperone? Now they're causing drama and inconveniencing and making other people upset because no one is there to tell them how to act like fucking human beings.

00:47:13

Here, they're from a church group.

00:47:14

Yeah, they're from a church group.

00:47:16

Yeah, exactly. The MOD goes over and does the perfect thing. He waits until the doors are in that exact spot where you can't get out, can't get in, and he hits the emergency stop.

00:47:33

Yes.

00:47:35

Sweet.

00:47:37

Now, the thing is about this, as the emergency stops, there's one on the inside and one on the outside. Okay. You've got the two side doors that you can use to get access to outside if the emergency, if the revolving doors are not working. He gives them about five minutes. They're like, You You can see them start to panic a little bit. They're like, why isn't... What's going on? What's going on? And then you got security. You've got security there, you've got MoD, and they just got their arms crossed, and they're looking like freaking the rock. They got their eyebrow up. They're just looking mean. So he gives them a few minutes, and he has security go out and push the emergency stop on the outside. So so they can release the kids. Yeah. He's like, Wait until they get out there. He pulls their button, and then wait until security comes back in until he pulls the inside button. He's given them a little few minutes of pure fear. Oh, yeah.

00:48:49

I love it.

00:48:51

He finally gets it to go again. They come out and they're looking like a hang dog. They're like, Oh, we screwed Oh, man, sorry. We know you don't mean it. Yeah, of course. But he, manager of the day, has the power to ban people from the property.

00:49:12

Oh, yes. Ban, ban, ban, ban, ban, He's like, It's 10: 00 at night.

00:49:20

We're getting ready to pack up and go home. They want to go home. They're like, You guys, I don't care what you do. I don't care who you are. Go to your rooms and stay there. Yes. I'm going to get whoever is in charge of you, and you guys are going to go scrim, get out of here.

00:49:41

Right thing to do.

00:49:44

The thing is, Security says they were down there at 3: 00 in the morning.

00:49:47

No way. Of course they were. Of course they were. Because they have no rules. They are lawless little children. I don't know how you feel about this, Betty, but I think that when kids get sheltered in one way, they have to act out in it. They don't know how to behave. They don't have the place, the time, the appropriate venue to get that energy out. So they don't know how to act when they get out in public because they're so sheltered in other parts of their life. I can only imagine, right?

00:50:19

Or they're indulged. They're encouraged to stay here.

00:50:21

Oh, yeah, that too. Yeah, you have the right to do this. They're not told no. They're not told no. Do you get this? I can't... First of all, you're an angel. You're an angel. I mean, I know you're doing this for money and you're doing this to feed your family or feed yourself or whatever. But at the end of the day, I can't even imagine what it's like to work at one of those places in a time when there's such entitlement and there's so little pushback on some types of behavior. As a matter of fact, people at the highest levels of our society are acting like these children are acting. True. No No rules, no guardrails, no law, nothing. When you can't even point to anybody in our society and say, behave like that, then where are the examples? It's certainly not here on the commercial break, that's for sure.

00:51:13

I would think you have to have a sense of humor.

00:51:16

You do have to hear a sense of humor. Oh, absolutely. That's for sure.

00:51:20

I mean, that's what you guys are in my Bluetooth in my ears, and you're just associating me from everything else going on. Oh, good.

00:51:27

Okay, hold on. Katie, we're going to take a short break, and then when we come back, then we will... I want to hear the wholesome story. We're going to pull this on to another- Well, now we got the other Karen story. Well, we got the other Karen story. We got a wholesome story. I don't know if we have time for both, but give us one second. We're going to take a break. Okay. Sure thing. Then we'll be back.

00:51:46

Hey, it's Rachel, your new voice of God here on TCB. And just like you, I'm wondering just how much longer this podcast can continue. Let's all rejoice that another episode has made it to your ears, and I'll rejoice that my check is in the mail. Speaking of mail, get your free TCB sticker in the mail by going to tcbpodcast. Com and visiting the Contact Us page. You can also find the entire Commercial Break library, audio and video, just in case you want to look at Christie, at tcbpodcast. Com. Want your voice to be on an episode of the show? Leave us a message at 212 433 3TCB. That's 212 433 3822. Tell us how much you love us, and we'll be sure to let the world know on a future episode. Or you could make fun of us. That'd be fine, too. We might not air that, but maybe. Oh, and if you're shy, that's okay. Just send a text. We'll respond. Now, I'm going to go check the mailbox for payment while you check out our sponsors. And then we'll return to this episode a commercial break.

00:52:49

Okay, so Betty, so what I want you to do is I don't know if we have time for both stories. We may have to follow up with Betty because you know what?

00:52:58

I'm sure that every week- Betty might be able to be a regular color.

00:53:01

Let's update the Great Wolf Lodge situation. Let's see how shitty humans have gotten since the last time we talked to Betty. Because you only really will understand just how the depravity of some people that are walking amongst us. If you talk to the people whose responsibility is to go around cleaning up their fucking shit, that's it. Literally, their fucking shit, right? Yeah. And that's it. Or work amongst people at their worst, so to speak. My opinion is, and I've said this many times on the show before, restaurants and people who work in the service industry see people at their worst for a number of reasons. At a hotel and a resort like Betty works at, you see people 24 hours a day in a whole cycle. Most of the time you see people, you're going to act with them for two or three minutes, so they're on their best behavior. But when you see somebody over the course of a day and on vacation, then you catch them at their worst. Or when they're eating because you have to do it three times a day. Everybody is picky about what they eat. Everybody has to guzzle down food.

00:54:05

When you work in a restaurant or cleaning up after people who are in a restaurant, then you see the worst of people because people, for some reason, when it comes to food, they're We're animals. We're absolute animals. Oh, God. God bless you, first of all, Betty. Second of all, let's end this on a high note and tell us a wholesome story.

00:54:27

Okay. I've got two. They're quick. Sure, go ahead. This one is personal to me. This one was a young father with a little baby, and the baby is trying and playing in the mining area where the water's coming down. You see the kids, they're digging for rocks.

00:54:54

Hold on one second. Let me explain to those who are listening, because my kids did this also. In the middle of what she's calling Mean Street, where all the retail and restaurant and- Adventure park. Yeah, and the adventure park is, they have a place where you can pan for gems. They give you a bag. It's full of rocks, mud, and sand. That's fine. Then you put it in a pan and you sift it like you were sifting for gold, so to speak. But it's just a little... It's a couple of wood canals that are made coming from a water fountain down into a pool, right? Okay, so go ahead.

00:55:27

You've got little baby playing in the water thinking like, splash park, right? Yeah. That's what we did in the pool.

00:55:34

Like my kid. Yes.

00:55:38

She's got her sister's magic wand from Magicrust.

00:55:43

Okay.

00:55:44

If you saw the Magic Quest, it's like a scavenger hunt.

00:55:47

Yes, I did see that.

00:55:48

With magical items and the dragon and stuff like that.

00:55:51

That's how they get an extra $100 on you. Yes, I saw it. I told my kids no. I'm like, no, I'm not doing that.

00:55:58

Wait till they're Yeah, exactly. You know that they're battery operated and you don't want to get them wet.

00:56:07

Right.

00:56:09

Baby's trying to put the magic wand in the water, see if it's going to float. It's a toy. It's a toy. Put things in water.

00:56:19

That's how things work. It's what kids do.

00:56:22

I'm seeing this and I'm like, Oh, it's going to ruin it. Then there goes the 20 bucks, their game Everything's going to get lost. I walk over there and I'm like, I'm sorry, sir. I want to make sure everything's okay with the baby. That's not a good idea. He's like, I know she wants to play with it. She sees her sister playing with it. She wants to do the same thing. I'm like, I know. I'm thinking in my brain, what can I do to make this better? I know, because this is what I do, there is a Build a Bear shop, and they have little stuffed magic wands for the Build a Bear.

00:57:06

Okay.

00:57:08

So I go over there and I'm like, look, can I buy one of those stuffed wands? It's not for me. It's for a guest. And they're like, Take it.

00:57:20

Oh, that was great. Take it.

00:57:22

Good. They cost, what, 30 cents, right? Mm-hmm. They're not that expensive. You can have one. I take it over to the dad, to the little baby, and I'm like, This is for the baby. This is for the baby. She can play with this. She can get it wet. She can chew on it, whatever she wants to do. And it's got a little wrist track, right?

00:57:45

Yeah.

00:57:45

I put it around her wrist and her face, and this is what makes it all worthwhile, was just the smile on her face.

00:57:53

Oh, that's so sweet.

00:57:57

Betty. Betty.

00:57:58

I was The dad was like, I was going to get her one. He was going to go get her one. But I'm like, no, this makes me feel good, too.

00:58:08

Absolutely. It's those little moments that keeps you at least coming, getting up and going back to work.

00:58:13

This is what gives me the smallest... Things like this give me the smallest amount of faith in some of humanity. Because Betty, whose responsibility it is, is to literally clean up after you like you're your mother, like she's your mother. She cares so much about the people who are coming in and out of the place where she works, that they have a good time, that they don't hurt themselves, that it puts a smile on their face. She's willing to take money out of her own pocket to make sure that a father and a daughter have an experience that's not dangerous and that the kid wants, I know this because I have the kids that are this age. They want to do this, and if they can't do it, then to them, the world is ending. Lending to that experience, allowing it to happen, is the best thing in the world to the kid. Then to the father, it's like, Oh, I don't have to deal with a total meltdown because you can't put batteries in the water, the fountain at Great Wolf Lodge.

00:59:13

Then imagine the little girl who's got high score or whatever of the day on that wand and then suddenly losing everything.

00:59:23

Yes.

00:59:24

You saved the day, Betty.

00:59:28

Superhero. Wow.

00:59:29

That's All right.

00:59:30

Our listeners are much better humans than we are, Christie. I just have to say that right now for sure. All right, Betty, I want to end this on a high note. We don't have a ton of time, but I will tell you this, we will be calling you back. Save the second Wholesome Story, save the second Karen's story. Maybe we check in with you in a month. Continue to collect stories. I would love to have you back. You're really our first listener-caller, except for Will the Champ, who called in very early on. And I can say I think this one was a winner. What a great experience.

01:00:03

You're the best.

01:00:03

I got to tell you one thing before I go.

01:00:07

Yeah, please.

01:00:07

I will never, ever look at the wolf again without calling him the swim wolf.

01:00:15

Swim, swim, ra, ra, swim wolf.

01:00:18

They all have names. They all have a personality, but he is now Wolf.

01:00:24

I love it. I love it, Betty. Well, Betty, long-time listener, calling in to give us the skinny on just how terrible all of you are out there. Do better people. Yeah, do better people. But we do have to say there is faith in humanity because for every one of... For every shitty 10 to 13-year-old boy that's out there making life miserable for people like Betty, there's a Betty to make life better for all of us. That's right. Betty, thank you very much. Best to you, Betty. Best to you.

01:00:55

We will- Best to you, guys.

01:00:57

We will text you and we will check in shortly.

01:01:00

Absolutely. Thank you.

01:01:01

Thanks again, Betty. There's Betty.

01:01:03

Well, I have to say, I think having a listener... I've always been very fearful of having listeners on, and here's the reason why, even though I encourage people to call and leave a voicemail, there's a reason why I encourage them to call and leave a voicemail, is because then we can edit it. We don't have to play it if it's not particularly interesting or good or whatever. I always get a little fearful that we're going to get dragged into a conversation that maybe, I don't know. You never know. It's like a wild card that you have no idea about. But I have to say I had a pleasant experience with Betty. Betty gets a gold star. She gets a gold star.

01:01:32

100 %. A plus.

01:01:34

She brought the drama. She brought the stories that were good. I cannot... I'm still trying to get over how four 10-year-olds... I couldn't imagine. Listen, I did a lot of shitty stuff as a 10-year-old. I put Pixie... And I'm one of these kids. I am one of these kids. I'm not going to pretend like I wasn't. I put Pixie- I could see you being one of these kids. Straw... What do they call them? Pixie straw.

01:01:54

Yeah, they're the...

01:01:54

Pixie dust. Yeah, Pixie dust. I put that, like 30 of those in an air conditioner, in a hotel room on a field trip, and then I turned the air conditioner on, along with three other 10-year-old boys. We did that stuff.

01:02:08

You're like wolves.

01:02:09

We were wolves. That's a great wolf look. One of the kids threw a pizza up on the wall. We had a leftover pizza. They ordered a bunch of pizzas and we had an extra one. It was like the vegetable pizza or whatever. And he took it and he threw it up onto the ceiling. It stuck on that ceiling. But I will tell you what. First of all, we realized the error of our ways in the morning and Tried to clean up it. Tried to clean up it. We tried to clean up it. Clean up it, I will. Clean up it, you will. Yes. Pizza throw on what he did. But I will tell you what, the adults that were around us were going to be goddamned if they were going to allow us to leave that hotel without every inch of it being cleaned up. The entire class had to wait for 90 minutes while the maid came up or the person who was cleaning, the cleaning lady, came up, brought her little cart, and we had to take the cleaning solutions, the vacuums, and everything, and do it ourselves.

01:03:14

That's the way to do it.

01:03:16

And it was clean. It was as if no one had ever even stepped foot in that room when it was done because the adults that were with us made sure of it. And had they been there or understood what we were doing at that moment, we would have been fucked. We would have been fucked. We were fucked as it is. I got grounded. We got demerits. We got all... We had to write a letter to the owner of the hotel. It was a whole fucking thing. I was a shit head at 10 years old. I could say that. But never once did I ever think about defecating anywhere except a toilet. That's just a step beyond. You can't walk across the way and go to the bathroom?

01:03:50

No, the crazy thing is, is that adults do it, too. So my dad for years was vice president.

01:03:57

Like a facilities manager? Yeah.

01:03:58

He was Like, head of the... And part of what he did was he was head of the maintenance Department. The things that he used to come home and say that we're done in the bathroom. Yeah, it was bad.

01:04:10

What are we doing out there? God damn.

01:04:12

I remember hearing. I was like, What?

01:04:14

Yeah, I don't mean to fuss at you, listener. I don't mean to fuss at you. But like I said, 99. 999999% of the commercial break listeners, I think, are like-minded. I don't think you would listen to the show if you weren't like-minded. I think it would irritate you. At least that's what to think. I interact with a lot of you on a text message and on email. But I know that there's one of you out there who has children that you just let them do what they want to do because that's the path of least resistance. You are going to teach them But you are going to teach them by acting, essentially by telling them what to do. They don't know any different until you tell them what to do. And shitting on the floor is not acceptable.

01:04:54

And that there's consequences. Yeah, there's consequences for doing that.

01:04:58

I wish they had caught those kids. I know. I want their mug shot on every fucking Instagram reel from here to 10 Buc, too. And I wanted to say, these kids, these kids shit on floors. These kids shit on floors. And then puke. And then puke. Well, I'd puke, too, if I saw someone shit right in front of me.

01:05:11

And you're behind a skiball machine where it's dark and cramped Yeah, why?

01:05:16

I don't know. Why are you going back there to poop? That seems like more trouble than just going to the bathroom. Yeah, and why do you have to bring your friends with you? Where did they even get the idea? Who conjured this up? Kids are so strange. Yeah. Were they playing skeeball? And one kid went, I got to take a hot dump. And the other kid went, Let's do it behind the skeeball machine.

01:05:35

Yeah, it might have been like a dare.

01:05:36

Can I see your anus? The old dare. Yeah, the old dare. A dare to do it behind a skeeball machine. And then just imagine the whole scene back there. A bunch of kids just one shit and one's puking on the other one's back. I mean, it's a whole nightmare. Anyway, listen. I mean, this must be like death by a thousand paper cuts when you work at a place like this, because you must see just the wildest stuff day after day, night after night, and have to deal with it. Oh, God bless Betty.

01:06:01

But then you have the sweet little baby.

01:06:04

Well, you have the sweet Betty.

01:06:05

The sweet Betty and the little baby smile and happiness. Then the other sisters' games were saved, too. I mean, Betty really saved the day.

01:06:14

There is a small amount of hope, a small amount of hope for our world, and her name is Betty.

01:06:22

If we can just get Betty, maybe Betty can be in charge of Doge. I think so. I think that's a good idea.

01:06:32

We'll put Betty in charge of Doge, and maybe we'll get some better results. Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah. Oh, the good old Dogey.

01:06:40

Well, thanks for calling in Betty again. I think we're going to have to continue.

01:06:45

I'm glad you check in with her. We've been communicating with a number of our listeners and whoever is on the phones. We have been talking to a few of them about potentially coming on. There's a guy named Sean, who has been a huge fan of the show for a long time. Love our Sean. He's like a wildlife trapper, but like a wildlife trapper who traps alligators and snakes, and rabbit, raccoons, and possums, and all the things we hate. Is he in Florida? He is. Well, Maybe I'll let him tell us where he is. You know what I'm saying? I don't want to give him. I guess I'm thinking alligators. Yeah, it's in the Southeast somewhere. Okay. Yeah, I'll let him decide whether or not he- Oh, maybe Louisiana. I just want to be careful about. Oh, yeah, maybe Louisiana. Well, we'll ask him when he gets here. So if you want to be on the show, could you please text us? 212-433-3822. 212-433-3tcb. Start a conversation with us. Leave us a voicemail or text us. Let us know why it's interesting to put you on the show, and maybe you'll be the next person, the next guest on TCB.

01:07:50

Kelsey Cooke and then Betty. Kelsey Cooke and then Betty. I got to say, they're both just equally as interesting.

01:07:56

It's so nice. There you go.

01:07:57

All right. Also, could you do us a favor? Please follow us on Instagram at the Commercial Break. We'd love it if you would become an Instagram follower. We have clips of the show, usually daily. I think Christie and I are going to try and get in the game here. We're going to try and make some content specific for social media. The only place you'll be able to see it is on social media. That could include clips of the show, me doing some fun Joe Jonas trend, or I don't know, eating a piece of cake or whatever the kids are doing these days.

01:08:27

We're going to get a two parts of in the water.

01:08:28

Yeah. Don't expect too much out of us, but we might. We might do it. Of course, we just said it, so now it will never happen. But anyway, so just follow us at the Commercial Break, TCB podcast on TikTok and youtube. Com/thecommercialbreak. For all the shows on video the same day they air here on the audio, tcbpodcast. Com. All the audio, all the video, and your free TCB schwag. Okay, Christie, I guess that's all I can do for today. I think so. I will tell you that I love you. And I love you. Best to you.

01:08:57

Best to you.

01:08:58

And best to Betty out there, and best to out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Christie and I will say, we do say, and we must say goodbye.

AI Transcription provided by HappyScribe
Episode description

Episode 708: Listener Betty calls in to share her experience working at The Great Wolf Lodge! From dropping a deuce behind the ski-ball machine to teenage hotel mayhem, Betty brings the Tea. Plus, Ask TCB anything and John Mayer is a wonderland, wonder-man.

Is listener appreciation day!

Catching up on Ask TCB

Listeners have questions for Bryan & Krissy

John Mayer is from Atlanta (Don't ask how we ended up on this topic!)

A new TCB milestone: a listener calls in!

Great Wolf Lodge insider info

Cleaning standards for AFRs

The christian boys

There is faith in humanity

Best to you Betty!!!

Watch episode #708 on Youtube

Text us or leave us a voicemail: +1 (212) 433-3TCB

FOLLOW US:

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Youtube: youtube.com/thecommercialbreak

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CREDITS:

Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley

Executive Producer: Bryan Green

Producer: Astrid B. Green

Voice Over: Rachel McGrath


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