Transcript of CFB With Stanford Steve, Deshaun Watson Wants You To Stop Boo'ing, Preseason Week 2, Hank Went To The Last LIV Event Ever + Mt Rushmore Of Emojis

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On today's part of my take presented by DraftKings, we've got our good friend Stanford Steve getting ready for college football because Week 0 is here. This weekend we will have real meaningful football, and then we're gonna have it forever, it feels like, till, uh, mid-February. But we're gonna talk college football with Stanford Steve, break it all down. We also have the Mount Rushmore of emojis. We're gonna talk some, uh, preseason week 2 storylines, Deshaun Watson, Who's Back of the Week. We also have Hank going to the death of LIV on Friday. The death of LIV on Friday.

This is LIV bleep death.

Yeah.

LIV after death.

So we got to recap him going down to Indy to see the last tournament of all time. A great show.

How about LIV?

LIV like last LIV 1.0.

Last LIV 1.0.

LIV like you were dying.

And we also don't have Max, so we're allowed to talk about LIV. We were free to talk as men about, about the golf league we all love. And it's all brought to you by our friends at Chevy. Summer's in full swing. That means no schedules, no plans, just more of the good stuff. Chevy Silverado makes that possible. There's a reason Chevy's called the heartbeat of America, and the Silverado keeps that heartbeat strong. These trucks work hard so you can chill harder, whether that's getting out of town, heading to the lake, or just not turning around when you probably should. It's got the capability, the space, and the muscle Everything you need for proper summer coolers, gear, whatever your version of chill looks like. Because at the end of the day, Silverado helps you tackle more of what you love. And let's be honest, you've earned this summer. Now it's time to go get it. So roll the windows down, turn the music up, and just listen. That's the heartbeat of America. That's today's Chevrolet. Head over to chevy.com to learn more today with Chevy. Okay, let's go. Welcome to Pardon My Take, presented by DraftKings.

The crown is yours. Today is Monday, August 24th. And PFT, will people please stop being mean to Deshaun Watson?

I thought that was pretty mean, uh, what Cleveland did, uh, which is, uh, boo Deshaun Watson again, even though they had already booed him before and before that. And, uh, and then having Deshaun get up in front of the media and say, it has nothing to do with, uh, my play, it's personal. I actually think that it's— that's not true at all.

It's both.

I think it's both. I think there's— that's why they have to boom so much is because It's not just personal.

Yeah.

And it's not just the play. They got to cover all their bases.

Yeah. Why can't it be both? But so, yeah, yeah.

Deshaun Watson, uh, better quarterback or human being?

Tough one. Really tough at this point. Real tough.

That's a tough one.

That one is actually tough. Think about it, Hank, because he's so bad at quarterback right now.

Really bad.

Really, really bad.

And I feel dumb saying that maybe he'll put it all together this year and get back to being a decent quarterback.

I just have time.

We still have time.

We still have time. But, but so the big story, preseason week 2 happened, which again, I cannot— like, I just can't care about preseason anymore because they, they're now switching it all up where when the rhythm used to exist where you're like, you build, you build, you build. I tuned into the Bears game. I got to watch Caleb Williams for one drive. Joe Burrow didn't play. I was like, wait, but Joe Burrow played last week. There's just no rhyme or reason. It's driving me nuts. I just— get me to the real season. But in the most Cleveland Browns, uh, way possible, the Cleveland Browns are the only team I think who can have a preseason post-game press conference take over the entire internet. Like, have an actual, this is a problem What the fuck is going on? Because not only did Deshaun Watson say, hey guys, please stop booing me, his full quote was, I think the whole world knows it has nothing to do about the performance. It's a little bit more personal than that. So I think it's a disrespectful thing. Again, it's all Sean. It definitely is about if you were, if you were fucking crushing it right now, if you were slinging the rock, if you were Texans prime Texans Deshaun, I think a lot of Browns fans And every fan base, for that matter, would look the other way.

I think that, uh, if, if Deshaun— if he was crushing it right now, I think the Browns fans might not be booing as much.

I think— that's what I'm saying, they would look the other way.

But I think that— I think every other fan base—

no, no, I'm saying every other— if, if Deshaun was on any other fan— every fan base. Yes. If you had a quarterback with the personal matters of Deshaun, if he played great, yeah, you'd look the other way. That's how sports fandom works. By now you all have a sliding moral scale, and it essentially is, is the guy good and is he playing for my team? And then you can just decide from there.

Yeah, it's the old quote that, uh, that some team would have drafted Hannibal Lecter. Yeah, if his 40 time was fast enough. Yeah.

So after Deshaun did that, then Todd Munkin came up and basically was like, yeah, that guy's an idiot. And he said, how does it feel to get booed? It sucks. I don't want to get booed. But it comes with the territory. You don't want to get booed. Let's play good football. Let's play good at quarterback, essentially saying, hey, Deshaun, it actually is all about performance. And yeah, I mean, it was, it was like Deshaun Watson. He has to be the least sympathetic figure that has ever been like, please start— stop being mean to me.

Yeah, it's like if a Rawlins Chapman like went and did the same thing.

Rawlins Chapman, a very good case of a guy who, if he's wearing your jersey, you're like, Well, he throws fucking 100 miles an hour in the ninth inning. Exactly. Been on a lot of teams.

You would get balls deep in the legalese of it and be like, you know, actually the victims said this, this and this and recanted this many statements.

You know, he was never— he was never convicted.

You would know the ins and outs of that case.

That's— yeah. Browns fans would be like, he was never convicted.

Exactly. Like that goes— it's across sports, it's across platforms, college, NFL. You become pretty much a lawyer if one of your best players is accused of doing something heinous and you learn down to the nitty gritty and you're like, I'm going to— you can't prove it beyond a reasonable doubt.

It was— I saw one person throughout the hypothetical. He's like, it's crazy how, how we like pick and choose who gets redemption arcs. And they're like, Kobe Bryant, look, everyone looked the other way. Tiger Woods, everyone looked the other way. Michael Vick, everyone looked the other way. Tiger Woods and Kobe Bryant are two of the best athletes in their respective sports. And Michael Vick went to prison.

Yeah.

So, yeah, it's a little different. Deshaun Watson is Well, been good. He's been injured, but he's— I— the weird thing is, like, there's a— there's a weird— not like argument for Deshaun, but a weird, like, world where he could have maybe said something that was not as tone-deaf. Basically, like, if he had just been like, hey, I'm trying my absolute hardest. I've been injured and like, it sucks that I haven't been able to put it back together. I just like— support would mean the world. I think it would have— it would have at least resonated a little bit. But to be like, yeah, they're— the Browns fans are personally booing me and it's not fair, dude, no one gives a fuck.

Yeah, you can't— you can't pull the it's not fair, woe is me right now. You can't be like, oh, I need to worry about my mental health too.

Oh, he also said he has no regrets.

He's like, I'm just a small bean quarterback. Please don't boo.

He said he has no regrets, which is crazy to say that I have no regrets.

There's also a big part of those other cases that you mentioned, especially the Mike Vick case, which is apologizing.

Yeah.

Which is taking accountability. Yeah. Which is saying, hey, I fucked up. I fucked up really bad. There's been nothing out of that with Deshaun. Like, we haven't heard any of that. So of course, no one's going to, like, feel bad for the fact that people are being mean to you as you're— by the way, they're being mean to you as you're skating through guaranteed $200 million.

Correct. I like this one, too. The only time I feel that energy is when I'm in the stadium or it's on social media. When I'm in public, no one mentions anything. Yeah, no, duh, dude. Yeah, we're all cowards. But also, no one's going to walk up to you and boo you, although that would be funny. But also respectfully, if they booed him from like across the street in the stadium, that's, that's pretty public. I, I just literally don't like the, the biggest losing argument any athlete could ever have is fans shouldn't be booing me. That is our right as fans, whether it's— whether it's right, like that, like the booing is validated or, or justified. That's a totally different discussion. But if fans want to boo— like this happened with Kyle Tucker coming back to Wrigley and everyone's like, oh, you know, we shouldn't be booing. It's my right. If I want to boo him, I can boo him.

Yeah.

And also you can do whatever you want as a fan if he— as long as you're not like actually doing anything to harm someone, you could boo.

That's, that's the thing that if you ask 100% of the time, if you ask fans to not boo you, they're going to boo you so much harder.

Like, there's going to be so—

that is a losing strategy since the beginning of time. Yeah. Don't— please don't boo. Like, please clap. No, they're going to— they're going to boo your ass.

But we are— we have the right as fans to boo.

We do.

That's just a fact. We can boo when we want to boo.

There's new stadiums opening up. There's $2,500, $10,000 personal seat licenses we have to pay. Jerseys cost 3 times as much and they're 5 times shittier than they've ever been. Parking is 5 times more expensive than it's ever been.

Every new stadium, everything's paid by tax dollars.

Everything sucks about like the new investments in sports teams. And there's never been a worse time to be a fan when it comes to getting every dollar wrung out of you possible. But at the end of the day, they can't tell you to stop booing. That's the only thing you got. And the booing will continue. And I'm sorry, Deshaun, that you feel like you're having a mental health because people are booing you. It's very sad.

Go cry to your money, dude.

Guess what? You just get through this season. You don't even have to— you could— it would probably do everybody a favor if you were just like, oh, my hand hurts. I don't feel like practicing because my hand hurts. And then they sit you. You don't play any games this year. You still get paid. And then you can just go move off in the mountains somewhere. And never bother anybody. Yes.

The Don LaGreca— that was memes— was, was, was thinking I was to say that that's an all-time rant.

Yeah.

Boom, boom. When you see him at the mall.

Yeah. Yeah. The sideline interview with Shador was, was bizarre. He talked about forgetting being a captain or not knowing what it meant to be a captain, which actually, now that I think about it, I'll give him some grace on that because they didn't have captains in Colorado. Yeah, they had leaders and they had dogs. Yeah. And so he had the L on his— not his fault, not the D on his chest like Max is experiencing on Sex Vacation. Yeah, but so I'm going to give him a pass on that one. But the weird thing is Todd Monken is— he like made a statement saying they're going to announce who the starting quarterback is on Monday.

Monday.

So it's like primetime. It's like he's a little bit of a showman. Yeah, that Todd Monken.

Yeah.

He's like, we get the spotlight to ourselves. I'll give you the announcement, um, and it'll be, it'll be compelling, must-see press conference. Yes, for me, Todd Monken.

So Deshaun, yeah, I listen, I didn't think he had a good PR team, uh, to begin with, but you just can't say that. You can't say that, that like it hurts to be booed because now they're just gonna boo even more, and they should. Browns fans, it's a— the Browns defense is going to be really good this year. And yet again, they're going to be in a situation where their offense is going to stop them from winning games. And if they have like just an average quarterback, they could be a, a, a actually good team this year. Like, I do think their defense would be that good. Yeah.

What do you think Jared Versus thinking right now?

Dude, Jared Versus is gonna have an awesome year. Jared Versus is going to be a menace for the Browns defense. They have good guys on all three levels, and yet again, they're going to be like We just need a quarterback who can complete like a simple pass.

Going from, going from the Rams that are so buttoned up, that have everything together, a quarterback that's played for the last, seems like 40 years, just being the most consistent guy. Now he's in— he's probably thinking, maybe I can go back to Florida State.

Well, he's from Dayton, so yeah, he's— maybe he doesn't have to pay the same taxes as he does in Florida or in L.A.

That is true. Yeah, maybe FSU is willing to let me back because they also— the Browns are just like the epicenter of NFL news today. Yeah, because they also had a guy.

It's impossible to make a Week 2 preseason postgame press conference this explosive. No, but the Browns did it.

No, they did. And then they've got a guy going back to, back to college.

Yep.

After playing in the preseason. So Daquan Wright is, I guess, going back. He's going to LSU.

So I have a question about this. It's broken. And we all can agree the system's broken. I don't really— I'm kind of like at the point where I'm just tired of even complaining about it being broken because I don't know what to say.

It's like, yeah, we know that it's broken at this point. But there's some moments where it still surprises you how broken it is.

Yeah.

And I think one of those would be after preseason to have a guy go back to LSU. Well, and go to LSU.

It's broken for a million different reasons. The one thing that I think doesn't get talked about enough is how much it sucks for the guys on various rosters around college football that are expecting like this is finally their time, and then another like court ruling or some weird thing happens, and it's like, oh, actually a bunch of guys are now gonna come back to college and you're not gonna get the opportunity you thought you were gonna get. It sucks. It sucks. They gotta fix it.

I—

when you declare— I think Dan Lanning said it, but like, when you declare for the draft, when you get drafted, when you suit up in an NFL uniform, that's it.

It's over.

This is—

you cannot go back to college. Same with college basketball. When you play in the summer league, it's over. You're not playing in college basketball anymore.

This guy did a summer internship with the NFL and then he's going back to college. Now I've got an idea for maybe how to fix this, Big Cat. Okay, tell me what you think about this. Um, at the end of every preseason in the NFL, guys that are, uh, one year out of college, their first year out of college, rookies, okay, you might call them, um, after the preseason they go into a big pool, and out of that pool you then have a draft where college teams can then draft NFL players to go back to school.

That would be interesting because then you also run the risk of like, oh, You, you didn't think you could make it the NFL. Get ready to learn Purdue.

Yeah, exactly.

Like West Lafayette.

Yeah. You're going to Minnesota. Enjoy.

I like that.

That could be.

Yeah.

Like, oh, maybe only, only the power conferences.

Yeah.

You can draft you back.

You flip it the same way you do a draft. It's the worst record gets the first pick.

Yeah. So if you finish at the bottom of your conference, Oh man, imagine if we did like, well, I have the first overall pick in the NFL to college draft next year.

College football tanking. That would be so funny. That would fuck everyone up even more.

That— I think the place where we're at right now, it's not— we're not there yet, but we're like only two stops away from that being a reality.

Yeah. Oh yeah, absolutely.

That's how crazy close we are. Yeah, it is weird. But yeah, the Browns just continue.

Well, we're also like my one. So the idea that I've had forever that I've talked about on the show is like being able to have one guy who's a legend of a program be able to go in infinite eligibility where Tim Tebow could play for the Florida Gators this year. We're pretty close to that too. Yeah, which I, I think that would be fine if, if we're going to mess things up. Let's at least mess it up in a fun way where we can get some of these guys like these legends playing forever. Like Diego Pavia would be a great all-time college football court. He just never graduates. He plays another decade in college football. That would be great for the sport. That'd be fun. So, you know, we're in this weird middle ground where it just sucks.

And I guess there's, there's no such thing as tampering. You got college coaches that can like contact NFL teams.

Yeah.

Try to get their players.

Yeah.

And they can't get in trouble for that. It's bizarre.

Yeah, it is. It is very weird. We also saw the other stories out of, out of week 2. Preseason. We got to turn injuries off. Ashanti looks, looks like a bad— I don't think we have a full report, but he was carted off, couldn't put any weight on his leg.

The players all took a knee and prayed. Yeah, that's not a good sign.

So that sucks. Also, I don't know about you guys, but the fantasy football league that I'm commissioner in, we, we draft like literally the night before the season. Because of this. Yeah, you can't, you can't draft right now.

You have to go the week of. Yeah, yeah.

Early drafts, this is, this is the week where like you, if you're drafting before this week, you're, you're forcing it.

Yeah. And you're gonna have something like this.

Even this upcoming week is a little early.

No, I think you have to wait until the next 2 weeks.

Yeah, the next 2 weeks is when it's appropriate.

Tyler Biotish also out for the season. Shane, you're in the booth, that's why I mentioned it. Turn injuries off.

It's, it's getting to a point where it's just like, it's just so fucking ridiculous at this point. Don't even know how to— the sick irony of life.

Well said.

The sick irony of life.

I don't like that. The sick irony of life.

Yeah, it is true.

How is it ironic?

I don't think it's ironic that it just keeps happening over and over again.

God brought LT into my life just to—

got it.

Yeah.

Oh, you're talking about personal irony.

Yeah. God, wait, so God brought LaDainian Tomlin into your life to like tease me, oh, be a Chargers fan just for me to torture you the rest of your life.

Yeah.

No, that's true. And Philip Rivers.

Shane, did I ever tell you that?

God's actually been pretty good to you.

Yeah, not, not really, because you just, you get, you get brought to the, the precipice of greatness just to—

that is the divisional round of the playoffs.

The precipice.

This is why Hank said, Hank said we need Shane in the booth.

This is why Shane—

Hank saw a fucking, uh, ChatGPT shirt and just had to—

wait, that wasn't a real shirt?

It was a real shirt, but the design was ChatGPT.

Which— my question was going to be, how many times did Philip Rivers beat Tom Brady?

I don't—

I don't know.

Question.

Was it zero?

Shane, question.

What's up?

When you say ChatGPT shirt, was it—

was the design—

was—

what do you mean the design? But it was a real shirt.

The shirt was real.

Someone had to sign on it.

Someone had to enter the shirt.

You're our ChatGPT, Shane.

That's not true.

Why are you searching Madison Beer, Zach?

We're talking Chargers.

Okay, this is good.

Half-naked picture of Madison Beer. All right, wait, no, we want to see the shirt. The shirt was outrageous.

But I don't understand, like, why—

Shane, is the shirt real or not?

When you say ChatGPT shirt, I'm like, the shirt is real itself, but it was just— the design of it was just ChatGPT. I don't know what is the confusion here.

I don't understand what the—

the shirt is real, the design is real, the design printed on the shirt. You're getting hung up on the wrong stuff. I don't—

I don't understand. I don't think I am.

This is a legitimate question here.

Yes. But I don't understand.

Like, the Chargers and the Patriots aren't rivals. Why did someone go out of their way to make the shirt? Like, it's not even a competition.

It's a hilarious—

can you please describe the shirt? Well, yeah, I'm looking at it right now. Zach's never going to—

yeah, it says it's got Tom Brady on the front, says the Rings, the Legacy. Patriots versus Chargers rivalry, 2001 through 2019. A tribute to Tom Brady and Philip Rivers. That's the first.

This is not a rivalry.

Well, yeah, you got a good point.

True.

Then on the back it says 8 games, 8 wins. Thank you, Phil. And then it lists the 8 games that the Chargers played against the Patriots and the Patriots won all 8 of them. And then it says Tom Brady, 8 versus the GOAT.

Why don't we do the last 5 years, pussy?

So that— what?

Who's a pussy?

Am I a pussy?

Henry?

Whoa. Yeah. Okay.

Yeah.

Why don't we do the last 5 years, pussy?

Yeah. All right.

Let's check that record. My pussy. Yeah. Didn't you lose some in the playoffs last year?

Okay.

But like, that's just one.

Oh man. So, so the shirt's real though. The ChatGPT shirt's real. Okay.

But it's also— It looks like it might have been AI at some point, and it was fed through an AI prompt.

All right, the stats aren't as good as I thought they're gonna be.

What are they?

Don't worry about it.

Oh no, this isn't going 5 times 2.

2 and 3. 2 and 3. Wow.

But if we don't count that, if we don't count that—

yeah, if we don't count the playoffs, pussy.

Yeah, who cares about the playoffs? Playoffs don't matter.

That's true.

Print the shirt. 47, that was a great win.

Good, good injury news. George Kittle somehow off the PUP list, which he's just a beast. I love George Kittle. We all love George Kittle. I don't know how he's off the PUP list. He tore his Achilles like 8 months ago.

He said he's a beast.

Peptides, less than that. Wasn't it less?

What?

No, it's about 8. It was what? It was January.

Yeah. Yeah.

January, 8 months ago.

I mean, we said with the divorce guy that likes In-N-Out that you know, the electromagnetic fields, they use electrostim for muscle recovery. Yeah. So maybe like it's a double-edged sword. The substation hurts you, but also heals you faster.

Yeah, that might be the case. Joe Milton looked good.

Joe Milton looked awesome.

I actually watched and I'm not a Joe Milton believer, but he was throwing with touch on the pass and I was like, I've never seen this.

Yes, I love, I love Joe Milton so much. That's a quarterback battle for the ages right now. Joe Milton against Sam Howe. Yeah, apparently. As good as Joe Milton's playing. Sam Howell's been playing good too. But that arm, everybody should want that special. Everyone should want Zuka Joe.

Yeah.

I also have a take.

Orange, 106 yards.

I do not give a fuck about Harrison Bucker's 69-yard field goal in preseason.

Well, that's the thing is the only storylines coming out of preseason football anymore are kickers drilling long field goals and then getting super excited about them.

Because, Hank, to answer your question, I want to see a team have the balls to attempt that in a real game. Like preseason, you could do anything, you know what I mean? Like, it's— who cares? I just don't— I don't respect it. Like, it was cool kick, but I'm not like, oh my God, this is so incredible.

You don't believe that people— people are— I saw some people saying, like, if we have kickers hitting 70-yard field goals, like, we're gonna have a problem in the league.

They're not going to attempt it.

Yeah, that's fair. That's a fair— that's fair.

Because the— Like the chances of him hitting it in a real game and then the flip of the field.

Yeah.

If you were tied in a game in the fourth quarter and you had your kicker proved that he could hit a 69-yard field goal, you wouldn't want them to try?

100%. Yeah, you do. I think, I think a coach would to win the game.

I would have to be— it would have to be the end of— yeah, like the end of half.

No, like, like 3 minutes left.

I don't think they'd do it.

I think with Aubrey they might.

Indoors, you have to tell me down a distance as well. Like, obviously, I just—

4th and 6. Okay, 3 minutes left, 1 timeout, tie game.

Yes, I would try it if you have a kicker like Bucker that can do it. And this looks like it was good by like 5 yards, 4 or 5 yards. And Aubrey he hit a 70-yarder and it probably looks like it could be like 75. Yeah, I would 100% let them do it.

Also, I mean, it was awesome when Janikowski got to attempt that was like 76-yarder.

It was the worst.

So sick.

It was the worst field goal you've ever seen.

But I respect that. Attempting that in the regular season, I just— preseason, I just can't get that excited about.

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Like, kickers love it. Yeah. But yeah, it's just—

I guess Cam Littlewood is— what's his record? 68. So, yeah, 76-yarder.

It was so good.

We should ask Lane about that.

I forgot that he was the coach for that. Yeah, I think Jankowski probably told him before the game, I'm good from 80.

Yeah, I got this. I got this, coach.

Don't you worry.

Look how far back he is. He's standing on the, on the 35, 33-yard line.

Yeah.

You guys asked him about it the very first interview. Okay, thanks again. That means we did a good job.

Did.

Fuck yes. What'd he say? I think he just laughed about it.

He's like, yeah, Yeah, one of those things.

Sounds like it was a great interview by us.

Was there any follow-up at all on that question by us? No, you guys just had a great time both laughing.

Yeah.

Yep.

You said really fucking good shit.

All right.

Any other—

any other— he missed it wider than I think he did short.

I know.

That was a crazy kick.

I know. All right. Any other Week 2 preseason thoughts or notes or anything? Just get us to the regular season.

Yeah, we just got fucking ready. We just got to get—

I'm so ready. I want real football.

Labor Day is really just fucking everything.

It's my— my brain just cannot compute the fact that it's— we still have like 3 weeks till Labor Day or 2 weeks. 2 weeks. But yeah, we have like something we have to do the week before Labor Day and it, it like messed me up. I was like, oh shit, that's then.

Mm-hmm.

They should make that illegal to what? Making Labor Day all the way till the 7th. It has to be— it has to be like the 3rd or earlier. I don't know how they could do that with calendars because I guess it would just be the first Monday.

Mm-hmm.

Someone's got to get on that. Someone's got to work on that. I don't know what they can do.

Klay Thompson, he's a Heat.

Oh yeah, that's not football, but yes.

Yeah, he's a Heat.

Yes.

So there's that. Yeah. But yeah, it's— we need— we need big news to happen.

Yeah.

Just any sort of big news. Falcons' 4th string quarterback balled out. Who's that?

Jack Strand.

Oh, I saw, I saw that on Twitter.

He was balling.

Okay, he's balling.

He's a good for Jack. D2 guy. Good for Jack Strand. All right, let me do the DraftKings reading, then we'll, uh, we gotta talk some golf with some of our friends here. Uh, slot fans, the wait is over. Lightning Link is available online for the first time ever, and DraftKings Casino has it. In fact, DraftKings Casino is your home of Lightning Link. New casino players can play $5 and get 1,000 spins including 500 Lightning Link spins. That's 50 spins a day at varying values for your first 20 days. Strike now to claim your offer. Download the DraftKings Casino app and sign up with code TAKE, then spin Lightning Link high stakes anywhere, anytime. The crown is yours. In partnership with DraftKings Casino. Gambling problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER. In Connecticut, help is available for problem gambling. Call 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org. Please play responsibly. 21 and over. Physically present in Connecticut, Michigan, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, and West Virginia only. Void in Canada. Eligibility restrictions apply. Non-withdrawable spins issued as 50 spins per day for 20 days, valid for select games only, and expire each day after 24 hours. Spins values vary. See terms at casino.draftkings.com/promos. Ends August 30th at 11:59 PM Eastern Time.

Okay, uh, golf talk. Uh, Hank, I have 3 questions.

Yes.

Would you—

I have a question for you, too. I have a golf question.

Oh, great. OK. Would you like me to ask 1, 2, or 3 questions? You'd ask— let me ask the second question.

Neems, 3.

OK. 1.

You were doing a little joke about Mount Rushmore. I like that. That was funny. Which question would you like me to ask?

2.

2.

All right. Zach, is it true that you had 2 hot dogs, a hamburger, 3 transfusions, and jalapeño poppers at the turn on Saturday?

Mostly true. I had jalapeño poppers for breakfast, so those weren't at the golf course.

Okay.

At the turn.

That's a, that's a decent order.

You got 2 transfusions at the turn. 3.

No, 3 transfusions, 2 hot dogs for yourself, and then went back for a hamburger.

It's 18 holes.

How long did this take you?

Decently quick.

Why don't you just get them like, like, get one when you get there, get one at the turn. You got them at once?

Yeah, because no cart girl out. So at the turn, I was like, okay, got to go. I'm not the best golfer, so I'm just trying to have a great time while we go.

I love that. Fair.

Yeah, it's great.

Great.

Great.

We get 3 transfusions at once. You have one cup holder in front of you, maybe 2. Like, where do you put all of them?

So when you go in the cup, I use one second cup holder. Third one goes in the basket.

What happens?

Oh, it was a can. It was like a premade. Yeah. Oh, okay.

All right. Got it.

What's that? What happened with the 2 hot dogs you ate and then you went back after to get a hamburger.

I got two dogs in the store, and then while I was eating the hot dog, the burger smelled fantastic.

I was like, I made the wrong call. Yep. Okay. And then also, I heard that you, you are like the fastest golf player of all time. You don't even think about a shot. You just get out, hit it.

I mean, I'm not very good, so pace of play is important.

You don't want to fuck up the hole for everybody. All right.

You're not going to play— if you're not going to play good, play fast. That's, that's the greatest thing you can do as a bad golfer.

Yeah, you can be bad and fast.

I just heard that order. A jalapeño poppers for breakfast, 2 hot dogs, a hamburger, 3 transfusions at the turn. And I was like, damn, that's a great Saturday. Fucking happy Saturday.

Might be in on golf.

All right, LIV, Hank, you went in.

I did. I did. I did.

Was that the last LIV event ever?

It was the last LIV 1.0 event. Uh, I drove down Friday morning, me and Dom, and I'm, I was expecting, I don't know what I was expecting. I was expecting maybe more of like a sad vibe, maybe more of like, you know, everyone that was there kind of feeling like this was, this was it. This was the end.

And what would a sad live event feel like? Which, what kind of music would they be playing? Pants. Yeah. So Celine Dion.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Like maybe like, uh, like the end of, end of, uh, school year or maybe like, maybe like a, a football team. Like you had a good, you had a good team, good season.

Yeah.

You had a disappointing end of the season.

With Liv.

No, I'm talking about— I'm talking— I'm just— I'm giving you an example of what I was expecting it to feel like. Yeah, I was expecting to feel like a team that like felt really good, had a great regular season, and then like, like blew a game in the playoffs, and then the next day they have to go in and like clean out their lockers. And so they're all kind of like there, they're all like, oh, you know, good year, but like they're sad, like they're— the vibe is down, but they're still, you know, there.

We'll always have the memories.

Uh, it was not like that at all. It was, it was business as usual. The Four Aces rolled out the red carpet, uh, got to go hang out on the range, meet all the players. They were, they were thanking me for being a great ambassador for the team, for the sport, for, for the league. Uh, they like— LIV 2.0 is coming. They're, they're— they got high expectations. And reincarnation, I do too now. Yeah.

Question.

Yes.

Uh, are you opening these questions?

Yes.

Uh, you said you got to meet all the players. Were you able to tell Dustin Johnson that you actually have met him before?

I did.

And was he still standing there when you told him that? Barely. I mean, it's the report I got was you went up and it was the quickest interaction of all time.

I talked to his brother AJ for a while. Like, he came up when Dustin Johnson was warming up and we shot the shit for like 15 minutes. DJ, the, the, the guy that worked for the Four Aces, like, ran over to him and then like pointed to me and then like basically told Dustin Johnson he had to shake my hand, which this is like— and then Dustin Johnson was like Yeah, what's up, buddy? Gave me basically like a Signetti handshake. He didn't know as he's walking. I was like, oh yeah, like we actually, uh, we played together. He's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't think he even like— he acknowledged that we did. I don't— I still don't think he remembers it.

He didn't—

he didn't know that you are the Four Aces?

No, no, no. God, no.

With the Twin Thomases at least?

The Twin Thomases were there, uh, and, and they said, you know, the Four Aces guy was like, hey, this is, you know, again, like he's introducing me to all the players like, oh, you got Because again, the Four Aces like really appreciated the support that we've given them. They were calling everyone over in any relation to the Four Aces being like, you got to meet this guy. He is like the biggest Four Aces ambassador we have. And he's like, hey, Thomas— Thomas Peters was first. He's like, hey, Thomas, this is the guy that came up with the, the Twin Thomases. And he was like, what? Like 9/11? Like, had no idea what he was talking about. He's like, yeah, no, it's a personal thing. He's like, okay, cool. Shook my hand. And then Thomas Dietrich basically said the same thing where he said the same line, like, This is the guy that— well, it's Twin Thomas's or Tom Towers. I forget.

You got to be careful. He mixed them up around the Saudis saying, well, I said Twin Thomas's.

I said no, Twin Thomas's is what I said. He said, hey, this is a guy that came up with the Tom Towers and the guy and Tom Thomas Peters like, uh, like what? And I was like, no, no, Twin Thomas's. He's like, oh, okay, cool. And Thomas Dietrich had basically the same reaction. He— the guy corrected himself. He called it the Twin Thomas's.

And once again, he was like, I don't—

I don't know what you're saying, but like, what's going on, man? How are you? So they were cool. They were, they were cool to me. Did not, did not, did not know or talk about them from the podcast, but they were nice guys. Yes. PFT.

Who won?

Michael Isasso. So huge, huge for LIV. Big signing. He won the U.S. National Championship in college last year. He had— by winning that, you get to play in the Masters. He gave that up to join LIV, join the High Flyers. Had a real smart choice. Had a really bad year. I mean, he won a ton of money. How much? A ton. Although I think they cut the purse in half.

Also, are they going to pay him?

I possibly—

I mean, half of a theoretical large amount of money.

A really sick IOU.

He's one of the youngest. Yeah, one of the young—

actually the number one stakeholder in LIV.

One of the youngest stars in golf beat out Jon Rahm on a Sunday. That's That's exciting.

That is exciting. It's super exciting.

Club 54.

John Rahm was told that he would only have to play 3 days.

Yeah, that's true. Club 54, they're like their hospitality suite. Best food I've ever had. Best, best, best food of any sporting event I've ever had. Just, just all class. They had sushi, they had sandwiches, they had like cold cuts. They had it all. Really, really good food. A lot of AWLs. It was kind of awkward. I ran into— I was sitting next to the 2 representatives of the 4 Aces and some drunk AWLs came up. And were like, Liv is fucking dead. I was like, no, no, no. And they were like, no, this is a fucking joke. And it was like, it was very awkward.

So you had to defend Liv in front of them?

Yeah. No, I was like, no, look around. You're here. They're like, yeah, I can't.

Sushi.

Yeah. Well, and I was like, like, they're like, yeah, we came after work. I'm like, dude, it's 12:00. Where the fuck do you work?

But that was—

that was extremely awkward.

He won $2 million.

Oh, that's great.

So not bad.

Yeah.

So overall, but hey, very excited about LIV.

It was, it was fun. It was a good time. There was a lot of people there. I was going because I was like, you know, again, it's been a running joke on the podcast for a long time. I was like, this is probably the last event of all time. Got to show face at one of these. And then as we were there, I was like, I don't know. I might have jumped the gun. Like, I think, I think these things, I think I was like, I was telling Donald, I was like, fuck, like, I'm going to have to keep this going because I feel like this is going to keep being a thing next year.

Yeah.

Which I wouldn't have gone if that was the case. But I digress. Yes.

PFT. Yeah. Hey, I'm curious because when I asked you who won, I obviously was asking about the team format because that's what separates live.

Yeah. Four Aces, by the way, what team won? I was there on Friday. The Four Aces combined 18 under. Unbelievable day. All 4 of them, they kind of fell off on Saturday and Sunday.

I think that means kind of fell off.

They came in like 6th place as a team. They were in first.

They went -13, -18, +1, -2.

How many teams?

10, I think.

13.

13.

Okay. Who won?

Legion. Legion 23. John Robb's team ran away with it.

Is it Legion? I thought it was Legion 13.

Legion 13. Legion.

The best part about LIV is that they did Legion 13.

XIII.

The best part about LIV is they actually like— it's not only a golf league that is about—

I know Super Bowl math. I'm pretty sure that's, that's 13, right?

Yeah, I think it's 13. But the best part about LIV is it's not only a golf league that's about to fold, but they also named all their teams like they were nightclubs that are about to fold as well.

Yeah.

Like Legion 13 beats the, the Four Aces.

Fireballs.

Oh, shit. Oh, yeah. Oh, that building. Yeah, it used to be the Four Aces. Now it's Legion 13.

13.

Next week it's going to be a new one.

Next week it's going to be Korean. Yeah, next Korean golf club.

It's going to be the— what is it? The Goats.

I got to see Phil.

That—

I mean, uh, Bubba, that, that was probably what my one note— they did— I got straight up asked what LIV could do to increase, like, viewership.

And then were you like, I've literally done everything I can? Yeah, I was—

I said more lefties.

I'm only one man.

They need more lefties. There was like 2 on the range. They need more lefties.

What about if they wore shorts?

They should wear shorts. They should be able to go back to shorts. They should probably go back to 3 rounds because, you know, Club 54 doesn't make a lot of sense if it's a 72-hole tournament.

They thought about making it louder.

It was loud. There was a lot. Did you see the flyover? There was a, there was a sick flyover. There was music blasting the whole time.

Did you get a video?

I posted a video of the flyover.

Yeah. Oh, did you tag me?

Dustin Johnson. Dustin Johnson tee shot. I actually thought it was like a— you can— you can tell me what type of plane this was. Yeah, I legitimately thought this was a—

can PFC figure out the plane with just the sound?

No, you can see it.

There's video of it.

No sound, though. That would be— that'd be next level.

That would be—

sounds like a great day. And you got to see your windmills on the way down to Indy.

A lot of windmills. A lot of windmills not doing shit, although they were cooking on the way back.

Oh, OK. So, OK, so, so maybe the wind picked up.

Maybe that flyover. That looks, that looks like just a straight up Boeing 737.

That's what I thought it was. Yeah, that's what I thought it was.

Oh yeah, that was just— yeah, that was just a plane that was about to land. Yeah, I think that wasn't a flyover.

No, Don told me that's what I said. I was like, what timing for that? That Don said that was a real flyover. It was some type of military plane.

OK, maybe the Poseidon then. I don't know.

Yeah, that's, that's a Spirit Airlines. Tucson to Indy. Yeah, connection. So great time.

Great time. I got you guys gifts too.

Oh, let's go.

Love it. Thank you.

I can't wait to see what gifts Max gets us.

I love, I love the hashtag that Hank came up with. #LivLockwood.

Nice.

That's pretty good.

Nice.

Yeah, it looks like— I mean, Hank's kind of selling me on it. I think, I think Liv might be back.

Yeah, that'd be great if we just got to live right before it ended.

The pop, Hank, after the flyover was really— that was the best part.

Oh my God.

I'm looking at that hat.

It's so bad. There was— there was— did you see the other two?

That is your hat, PFT.

The other two bad live stories that came out this week?

No.

Sergio, remember he destroyed the tee box at the Masters?

Yeah.

They said that was legitimately like a huge seminal reason why the PIF like was like, we're out of live. Because he, he's great. Desecrated a tee box at the Masters.

Yikes.

And then I could actually see like the one people, the one group of people that could have power over the public investment fund would be the board at Augusta.

Yeah.

Like we need to have you divest in this, in this startup league. Yes, sir.

Yes, sir. Yeah.

I mean, that, that right there is just a guy who like he was, he was on LIV. He thinks there's no rules anymore.

Anymore. Mm-hmm.

That's a bad look for golf.

Yeah. And then Harold Farner and the OKGC, Oklahoma GC, Taylor Gooch's team, they got kicked off of a golf course because they showed up, they asked, they had a foursome, they showed up 30 minutes late. They showed up with 6 people, said, can we play in a sixome? They said, no, but we'll accommodate you. We'll put you in 2 threesomes. They went out, played like 4 holes once they were away from the clubhouse. They converged into a sixsome and people complained and then they got kicked off the course.

Also, baby Bryson's back.

What? How so?

Bryson kicked a media member off.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah. The range is videotaping him on the range. Yeah, but he was credentialed.

He's pretty sad.

Kind of what he was there to do.

I think it was the Monday Q guy.

Yeah, it's good.

Yeah, I like that guy. We met that guy when we do the Corn Fairy event.

Mm-hmm.

All right. So, Big Cat, I know you love coffee.

Oh, Four Aces.

So I got you a beautiful Four Aces coffee mug.

Wow.

That's really nice.

Really nice.

This shit's gonna go for a lot in like 10 years.

PFT, I know you love, uh, disgustingly gross hats. Yeah, so I got you this.

Yeah, that one.

Yeah, so Big Cat saw this across the room. Yeah, that's a PFT hat. I gotta be honest with you, Hank, um, this looks like— I don't know how, but there was a guy that went to my high school that got kicked out, and then he came back and he would ride his bike outside the cafeteria every day at lunch selling weed to all of us back when I was a senior and he was wearing this hat.

Yeah.

I don't know how he got it. Like a time traveler.

But that does fit you.

It does. Yeah, it's kind of—

I think it's got some sweat stains on it already.

Yeah, it's great.

Thank you.

You wear that hat, Hank?

No, thank you.

Do you see the sweat stains?

I'm talking about? Feels like it was maybe game worn.

Feel like you were.

That's definitely a sweat stain.

Yeah, I feel like you wore that hat.

I did not wear that.

Fucked up. OK, what's that one?

Zach, I know he just got into golf, so I got him. It's a putter head cover with all of the LIV teams on it.

That would have been funny if you just brought back like some jalapeño poppers from the LIV. What's that?

I also got this for myself.

Oh, okay.

You got yourself a gift?

Yeah, I got myself a bunch.

Do you want to trade for this hat?

Would you wear this?

Absolutely. It's not— no, I won't.

Pre-worn the hat. Did you get anything for memes?

Yes.

Did you get anything for Max?

Max isn't here.

Okay.

Memes. I got this Ripper JC.

Yeah.

Banner for memes. For memes.

Yeah.

I love the Rippers.

Yeah. And then for Zach, I got this Four Aces banner.

Wow.

And then for Shane, I got Shane and Jacob. I got shot glasses. Colton and Colton.

Oh, no, no, no.

I got a— I got High Flyers sunglasses.

Oh, nice.

Yeah, that rocks.

Were they just—

no.

I assume you'd have to buy it.

I bought all this.

Really? Yeah, they actually were selling it still.

Guess how much all of this was. Guess.

$25.

Let's see. We got a hat.

We got to give a real guess.

No, that was a real—

with this, this shirt as well.

I would assume everything's 99% off still.

Just guess how much it was.

The socks too.

I got socks as well.

Yeah, I think you probably paid $120 total.

$200.

Wow.

Pretty good.

Good deal. Great deal.

All right.

So good weekend.

So we think that they might be back after a whirlwind weekend.

Like Bryson afterwards said, like, national stage again, like, I know, I will see how it goes. I don't know how much, how much longer I can keep this going. But Bryson was like, we got, we got exciting things coming. I wish I could say more.

Was he talking about his YouTube channel? I don't know.

He's talking about the future of LIV. He's talking about the future of LIV.

Did he say that to you?

No, he said that on a post-round interview today.

Oh, did— now maybe he's talking about the equity that he thinks they own.

Maybe. No, he said he was excited for, for LIV 2.0.

Um, did you see him at all?

Uh, no, Bryson, he— we were at the range for like an hour and a half. He came very late, hit like 5 balls, and then went out to the first tee.

Okay, okay, interesting.

That was our LIV update.

Yeah, I mean, definitely not the most controversial thing that happened in online golf this weekend, so that's good.

Yeah, true. I have a question for Big Cat, a golf-related question. Yeah, Big Cat, as a father of 3, how bad is hand, foot, and mouth disease?

It is really bad if you get it as an adult. As a kid, it's, it's, it sucks for the kid, but every kid really— it's like, it's actually like the new chickenpox where I feel like every— all 3 of my kids got it.

How—

as an adult, it's like the most painful disease.

Is it contagious?

Yes, very.

So it's—

no, it's very contagious between kids. Not as contagious to adults. Like, I was around my kids when they had it and I didn't get it.

Is Scottie a bad guy for playing while dealing with a kid having hand, foot, mouth disease?

It's not as contagious to adults.

Because I saw some people saying that. Scottie, after his round today, said he's been dealing with hand, foot, mouth disease this week with one of his children.

Yeah. Yeah.

And people were saying that it's problematic that he was playing.

Wait, but is he saying he has it?

He's been dealing with it is what he said.

But is he dealing with his kids or him?

Has blisters on his hands and throat.

Nobody's talking about his kid.

No, him.

Oh, okay. Oh, very difficult to grip.

Yeah. Yeah.

It's not very contagious between adults, but yeah.

Yeah, I had it last year. I got it from my nephew. Oh yeah, from my nephew. I had a mild case and it was like right after the beef had it and Kate might have had it too. And then I was asking the doctor about it. They're like, yeah, adults usually don't get this at all.

Yeah.

But then I was like, that's— that can't be true because I know like 5 adults that have had it in the last 6 months. But yeah, it sucks.

It's not a kid gets it, though, but not problematic to play with it. I don't—

I mean, golf, you're—

he's probably by himself. And most caddies knew.

Yeah.

Whoever he's playing with, I legitimately didn't know.

Yeah.

No, it's— yeah, adults can get it, but I don't think they— it's not passed the way— like I said, I was with my kids the entire time. They both had it. I never got it.

So.

But yeah, it sucks. Definitely sucks.

How do you shoot?

Not great.

Yeah.

Don't stop, Zach. Why are you— oh, he's Googling it because like it can mess up your hands.

So if it's in your feet. Yeah. If his hands had it in your mouth. But if his hands had a lot of it, that would be very, very tough to play golf, I would imagine.

The Wyndham Clark one. Where are we in the playoff?

Next. This is second last week. Next week's the last one.

Am I— Am I wrong in saying the PGA playoffs make no sense to me?

Yeah, well, they change every year.

Oh no, no, so I'm right.

Yeah, yeah, no, they make no sense.

Yeah, and it also like you can— there's like automatic qualifiers to the next round, like they don't have to play for it.

It's top 75, then it gets cut to top 50, then it gets cut to top.

But aren't there certain guys who no matter how—

top, top 75, top— yeah, top 50, top 30.

But in the top 50, there's certain guys that no matter how bad they play, if they could play terrible and they'd still go to the next weekend.

Yes. Like Scottie.

That's so stupid. Yeah, that makes no sense.

Yeah.

Should just be top 75, top 50, top 30, and you have to be in those to get to the next round.

They've tried to keep it so they, they reward guys for how they played in the regular season, and it's not as bad as it used to be.

It's okay to say golf is not conducive to like a normal playoff.

Yeah, it's not playoff sport.

That's all right.

It's like golf isn't conducive to teams, and it's like majors are the most important. They, they care about more about majors than the playoffs. Like, no one No one's going— no one remembers who won a FedEx Cup in a certain year.

Rory won the Road to Dubai.

They remember Tommy Fleetwood won the FedEx Cup last year.

No, he just won the final championship.

That was his first big win.

But was that his win?

Then he stopped looking up hand, foot and mouth disease. Get it off.

I was tabbing over.

I just keep seeing just a bunch of bumps in the back of someone's throat. Out of nowhere. Tommy Fleetwood won the— yeah, he won the Cup. He won the whole Cup.

Yeah, he won the Cup. So I was right.

He won the FedEx Cup playoffs, I guess.

Yeah, he won the last thing, which he won the Cup.

That's what made it so funny, which was he wanted the Cup. Yeah, he had never won. And he wins that.

Yeah. Beat 30 guys.

Stupid. We need football back.

How many guys did you have to beat to win the live tournament this weekend?

I don't know how many guys were in the field. Probably, probably around 70, 75.

It looks like 57.

57.

Yeah.

Okay.

Um, pretty cool.

What else? Wait, what else we got? Uh, sports. Oh, we have breaking news. Oh, Raiders running back Ashton Gentry, who had to be helped off the practice field today, is believed to have sprained his ankle.

Okay.

What?

So he couldn't walk. They got down on a knee and prayed.

This is why Eddie's rule would be great. The cart for every injury.

Because you know what this is like? You remember Trevor Lawrence said this a couple of years ago?

Yeah.

When he was in the field, he was like, they didn't give him a cart. Yeah. He was like, he was crying though.

And Mac Jones.

Yeah.

Remember Mac Jones?

Mac Jones. Big cry.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Ugly cry.

Really bad cry.

All right. Good for Raiders fans. Good for Ash and Gente. I'm happy.

I'm choosing to believe that maybe, maybe Fernando Mendoza just healed it right then and there.

That's, that's crazy. Like, maybe we just need to not report on any training camp injuries until we actually— like, there's just no one's allowed to tweet about training camp injuries until we hear from the head coach. You know, that would be fair.

You know, it'd be electric is if there was absolutely no injury update at all during training camp or preseason games. Yeah. And then the Monday before Week 1, they just dump, unload everything. Here's everything that happened in the last 3 weeks. And then do with that what you will.

I like that.

That'd be pretty good.

We should— we should enact that rule. Also, we had a quirky— I'll just— quirky baseball. This is— this is like a Tim Kirkjian just loves this shit. But it is cool when baseball does this stuff. But Did you guys see that? So PCA was the first player ever in the history of baseball to hit a home run to start the game, a home run to end the game, and then a home run in the next game to start the game until Randy Rosarena did it against the Cubs. So it's happened twice in one week. Never happened before that.

That's pretty incredible.

It's insane. So, yeah, Randy Rosarena. Is only the second player in MLB history to hit two leadoff home runs and a walk-off home run in a two-game span. And PCA was the other one. And it happened against— it's just crazy. This is why baseball— the stats in baseball are always the best.

It's just—

it makes no sense and it's fucking cool as shit when it happens.

Do you think they're juicing the balls?

I don't know. It's a good question. I think maybe.

I think maybe. And the only reason I say that is because they do have potentially, you know, some bad news coming up with the lockout.

Mark Walter.

Mark Walter would be the other big bad news story that's kind of looming over several different sports. And baseball, for all their faults and as much as they struggle to stay relevant, they do an awesome job of putting their finger on the scale when they know that things are about to go bad.

I'd agree.

They do a great job of knowing when to juice those balls up.

Also, I would like to report that Max is back in on the Phillies. He texts— he uses— he used a 5-minute sex break vacation to text me about the Phillies today.

Okay.

So he was like, I'm in the south of France. And he was like, did you see the Schwarber home run? So he's back. He's all the way back. Don't let him say he's not back.

I actually just looked it up. It looks like in 2026, the balls are showing a suspiciously low amount of drag when they're hit.

Hmm.

Okay.

Hmm.

Interesting.

Hmm.

Something to think about.

Yeah.

Okay. Let's do who's back of the week. Then we have an awesome college football preview with Stanford Steve before we get to who's back of the week. Talking more football. YouTube, look, we all know NFL Sundays are sacred. And so we found the perfect way to make sure we don't miss a single snap of NFL action. We're fully dialed into NFL NFL Sunday Ticket and YouTube TV. When you bundle NFL Sunday Ticket and YouTube TV, you get every game every Sunday, period. The best part? The multi-view feature lets you watch up to 4 games at once so you can track your fantasy matchups in real time, watch your favorite players, and keep tabs on everything across the league. It's the ultimate setup for the NFL season. Plus, new users can jump in now for 8 payments of $30. Go to youtube.com/nflst and get it done. Don't be the guy guessing what's happening in the other games. Be the guy in the living room who sees it all. New users pay $240 at 8 non-cancelable payments of $30 a month, first charge at purchase. Availability varies with NFL Sunday Ticket for out-of-market games and YouTube TV for local and national games.

YouTube TV required. Terms, restrictions, and embargoes Apply. Commercial use excluded. No refunds. Go to youtube.com/nflst to get NFL Sunday Ticket for 8 payments of $30 a month for new users. Uh, Who's Back of the Week is brought to you by our friends at Twisted Tea. Who's Back of the Week is presented by Twisted Tea. Well, it's officially the dog days of summer, and Twisted Tea is our go-to for cooling down when it's heating up. When it's hot, you know I'm reaching for something ice cold. Twisted Tea is the perfect drink for lake days, beach days, backyard grilling, and all the good stuff summer has to offer. Twisted Tea is a refreshing hard iced tea made with real brewed tea and 5% alcohol, full of flavor and very refreshing. Goes down smooth. There's no carbonation, which makes it easy to drink all day long. Whether it's hitting the course for a round, pre-gaming a ball game, or inviting the guys over for some backyard grilling, Twisted Tea is always there to keep good times rolling. Grab a refreshing Twisted Tea today. Hank, who's back of the week?

Who's back? It was John Gruden. Yeah, back in the booth.

Tough old man.

Tough old man. Called the game with Rodney Barber, Bucs preseason game.

Yep.

That was awesome. I wish— I wish you could— I wish you could do more games. Yeah, they got to get him. They got to keep him back in the booth.

So he's got a really good job now, though.

He does. Yeah, but he could do both. He could do both, maybe. Uh, also, I don't—

go on.

I don't know if I'm allowed to laugh at this or if this is messed up to laugh at this.

Oh, please tell us.

But, uh, the AWLs who ordered fake books—

oh, that sucked, but, but also crazy funny.

Okay, yeah, there was people—

I don't know, I feel bad for these people.

I don't know how many of it was, and I don't know if it's because they're were trying to save a buck and going through like bootleg, like Amazon, like Amazon Germany or something. Yeah. Like they, I don't know if they were just trying to save money and they got chipped off or they genuinely were trying to order it through proper channels.

Might've been a mislabeled link.

Yeah. Uh, but there was not, not a lot. One of our, one of our sales guys, Nick, like neighbor sent him one. And then I saw like one or two other people online that got, they ordered it from Amazon. It might've been, it was like cheaper than, than the regular book, but it showed up with just like it was all paper and it was just blank pages. Also a blank notebook with the COVID of part of my book on it. And it was like a— it was like a coloring book. It wasn't obviously like a hardcover book. It was just a book with blank pages.

Yeah, it was.

Someone said they thought it was my— like this was just my book.

It's also like a laughably small book. Yeah, it's like, yeah, it's a little mini notepad. But you know what, you can You can just write your own book.

I do feel bad for those people, but choose your own adventure. I don't even know how they— where do they find that link?

I don't know.

It wasn't like real Amazon. It was like Amazon Germany or something.

Yeah.

Thank you to everyone who bought the book.

We—

Wednesday we'll find out if we make New York Times bestseller, which would completely devalue everything we've ever known about that award.

I think that there's going to be a lot of people that have gotten that in the past that will be very upset to see our names on there.

Like, go back in time and talk to 12-year-old Henry Lockwood and be like, someone walks into your—

well, I'm not an author of the book.

Well, you are. I'm not part of it. But, but to be like, hey, you, at some, some point in your life, you're going to contribute to a New York Times bestselling book. You would probably think like, oh, did I— was I a serial killer or something? They wrote a book about me. No, that would probably be the only answer, right?

No. Oh, no, I believe it. You dream? Yeah, I dream big when I was a kid.

I—

you believe it?

No, me and books don't go usually together, but you guys wrote a great book.

Zach, what's your favorite book?

Favorite book all time? Yeah, I like the Series of Unfortunate Events series.

Great series.

Okay.

Yeah, yeah.

They're probably my one.

Zach, did you read the Redwall books growing up?

I haven't seen the Redwall books. No, sir.

You strike me as maybe a Redwall guy.

I did a lot of Goosebump books, but really just for the covers because they're holographic and you could touch them. Yeah, they had good textures.

Yeah, good texture on there. What about Hatchet? Did you ever read Hatchet? That book fucks.

I haven't read Hatchet, but if it fucks, I'm in.

I got to go back and read Hatchet.

The Outsiders.

But yeah, thanks to everybody that bought a book. It means a lot. Shout out, you guys. I have gone into a couple when I've seen some of the books on the shelves, I did close the parentheses on two books myself that I found on the shelves.

So nice.

Limited edition.

Huge.

Those are probably worth a lot.

Huge. Yeah, huge. Okay, good, good. Who's back, Hank? Thanks, PFT.

Yeah, my Who's Back of the Week is Nano Bubbles. Do you guys remember Russell Wilson back in like 2016? When he, he was convinced that he had solved concussions via nanobubbles, like drinking more water with nanobubbles in them will help your brain improve from the concussions. I think the science is probably, probably still out on that one. Yeah, I haven't heard any updates on it. But there was a story that came out last week that says they might have figured out something that you can take to reduce the risk of brain damage after a concussion. It is a postbiotic. So what that means is it's like bacteria that your body makes in your stomach.

Okay.

It's essentially shit.

Okay. I think if I'm understanding this correctly, it's like Bill Gates selling a shit water.

It's a product, a byproduct of something that your body creates after you eat tryptophan, which is the ingredient that's in turkey.

Turkey.

Yeah.

To try to digest tryptophan, if you isolate that And then I'm guessing that's kind of like shit or it's, it's part of your shit.

Okay.

That if you consume that, it's been shown to, to possibly help concussions in a study that they did. Now, here's the interesting part is the study that they did was on mice. So they got a bunch of mice with traumatic brain injuries and the mice performed better on cognitive tests. If they had that tiny piece of shit after they had their traumatic brain injury. So then my question was, so eating shit make you smarter? Possibly. But then I was wondering, what kind of study was this where they're just giving mice traumatic brain injury? How do they do that?

Right.

Do they have the mice playing football?

Huh?

Do they have the mice running into a wall with no helmet? I don't. Anyways, it's a promising study, I guess. But really, the big takeaway for me is like, if you eat shit, then you might, you might not get a concussion.

This sounds like a study that was commissioned by someone trying to convince another person of like, here's what we should do for our last-place fantasy football punishment.

You have to eat shit.

Yeah, you have to eat shit. And look, now studies show that it's actually good for you.

Yeah, ass-eating season's back.

There, by the way, the last-place fantasy football punishments like roll in right around this time of year. There's some really funny ones.

Which ones?

Uh, what I saw— what, what's the, um, what's the children's book? The caterpillar children's book.

Very Hungry Caterpillar.

Uh, the last place had to dress it— dress as the Very Hungry Caterpillar and eat everything the Very Hungry Caterpillar eats.

I love that.

That was funny.

Shout out Eric Carle.

That was a really good one. Yeah, but there's, there's some, there's some good ones out there. Did you see the guy who had to play invisible golf? I did see that one.

Rocked.

I actually think that I thought that maybe up to half of the audience, the live audience at Live This Weekend, was a fantasy football.

That was—

yeah, that could have been those guys.

Yeah, probably.

There's also some guys saw who had to complete a puzzle in a closet with just a headlamp. And it was a— it was the puzzle was a puzzle of baked beans, which they all look the same.

Yeah.

So it was—

I don't know.

Yeah, there it is.

Okay.

1,000-piece. Beans puzzle. I don't know. They make me laugh. I think these are funny. I think like, you know, we don't— I know we make the statement we don't care about your fantasy team, but these type of things, these are just like dudes rock over and over where it's like just guys having, you know, good friendships and making their friends do ridiculous things for sucking at fantasy football. It warms my heart every time I see them.

And we've got our fantasy football preview coming up next week. Can't wait.

Friday. Friday. This week.

This week.

This week with Michael O'Connell.

Michael? Yeah.

Michael O'Connell.

Okay.

Big Mike.

That's his name.

Wait, what?

Michael O'Connell. That's Jerry's name.

What?

Yeah. His name's Michael O'Connell.

Shut up.

Yeah, Jerry's middle name.

Jerry. Jerry's not named Jerry.

I only know this because I got— what the fuck? I got the flight manifesto today and I was like, what the fuck is Michael O'Connell? And then I looked it up. I was like, oh fuck, that's Jerry.

What else has he been lying to us about? Was he not actually fat?

I think we— I think we might have known this, but yeah.

No, I didn't know that.

Yeah.

Michael O'Connell, fantasy football. M.O.C.

He actually should go as Michael for us for fantasy football. Because we haven't won anything as Jerry. Yeah. So let's rebrand Jerry. Mike. Michael.

Michael.

Michael.

He's not a Mike.

He might be a Michael.

He's not.

He could be a Michael.

He's pretty much the third Mike on this show, though.

Yeah, that's true.

As much as he's on here.

Hank, have you followed along what I just said?

Yeah. Jerry's name is Mike.

What do you think about that?

I think he's a fraud.

No, I think he's fine.

No, I think it's fraudulent.

Jerry.

Jerry.

He's such a Jerry.

Jerry.

He's such a Jerry.

I am— I'm curious to know who he is going to give the kiss of death to.

It's gonna be like— he's good.

It's gotta be—

it's— I mean, Caleb or Drake, he's gonna do.

Yeah, he's— he's such a piece of shit.

He's gonna do it to one of us and it's gonna be so mean.

Yep.

Oh man. Yeah. Oh yeah, there's a YouTube. Jerry reveals his real name, so I don't think it was a secret.

Secret. That was a secret to me.

Yeah, we just never looked it up. And then, yeah, when I saw it on the flight, I was like, who the fuck is this guy? That's the only reason that I, I realized it.

I got to know why he decided to go by Jerry.

He made the right choice. Yeah, actually, probably the best first choice he's ever made.

Yeah.

Like, that was a— he knocked that out of the park.

He definitely is a Jerry. He's not a Mike, but like, Mike and Jerry are such both kind of regular names. At what point is he like, you know, Jerry fits so perfectly with Jerry. My mind just got blown.

Yeah, I was wondering if you guys knew that too, because I was like, fuck, was I the last to find out about this?

All right.

My Who's Back of the Week is NIL. I have talked about it on this show before, but I have finally given some NIL to the Wisconsin football and basketball program and I'm running a ticket giveaway, which is being announced on my social media on Monday as you're listening to this. But yeah, I'm in the NIL game, boys. I'm officially in the NIL game. I don't know how I feel about it.

How do you— do you decide where the money goes?

Yeah, it was split halfway, half to football, half to basketball.

OK, so you don't get to say like, I want to know offensive tackle.

No, I'm just excited. I listen to the people in who are running the NIL, people in the football program, basketball program. Had a lot of talks to them, good people, uh, and we, we had some awesome meetings. And it's like, hey, let's figure this out. So I'm in the game, but I'm— like I said, I have, uh, got a ticket giveaway that I'm doing for season tickets. So check out my socials, you can figure out how to get involved. Um, and then yeah, it will be interesting to see. I don't know why you're pulling up Big Cat Badgers, but But I'm just looking at the Akron thing again. I, I, boys, I think I told you guys, but I did an interview and they were like, who are you bringing with you? I said, the entire PMT team is on my staff. I don't know if they are, if I'm allowed to do that, but you guys are all—

when's the drawing?

I don't know.

I'm not going to win it.

You're top 9.

Top 9.

They should do like top 6.

That would be cool.

And then, and then like top 4. Top 2.

It will be really funny if it's like a random person wins and then everyone just like, okay. And then all the people who are complaining.

Yeah.

So like, that's what I wanted to have happen.

Zach, my Who's Back of the Week this week is going to be Jameis Winston.

Yes.

Couple of things. First, the pump-up speech was great. I reminded everybody that, you know, beautiful thing, being able to come in and provide for your family. Also, the little light of mine bar was fantastic.

Say that again.

This old light of mine.

Yeah, this little light of mine. OK, nice.

Yeah, it was a great bar. Did you guys see the handshake with Skadaboo?

Yeah, that was sick.

Really good.

And was there a twerk in that?

There was.

There was definitely like a mild twerk.

It's for sure an original handshake.

Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Are you trying to bring it up now?

Say, oh no, I don't have to. That's on me.

No, I was just curious if you— Yeah, here it is. That's, that's a slight twerk.

Is that a dog on a leash? Maybe. Is he?

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a little bit of a twerk.

And then also just like, I miss Cam Skatteboo.

I know, it's going to be awesome having him back.

I was actually— I was talking and thinking about Cam Skatteboo earlier today because this is just where my brain goes because I just— I miss football and there's just certain things that I miss about my Sundays. And it fills such a big void in my fall because my days are filled with these like awesome things to think about, like Cam Skatteboo running through somebody's face. And I miss seeing that.

I've— I've had those same— this is the time of year where I just, I just envision myself like locking in at noon kickoff and just getting so excited. That first one. And guess what, guys? We're getting new couches, remember?

Yeah.

New couch day is going to be the first day. I held it off. I held off the new couches until hopefully they don't suck. And I'm now real— oh, no, no, actually they don't. We had, we had our number one couch guy go and sit on—

who's our number one couch guy?

Eddie.

Yeah, Eddie. I said Eddie's got to go and test them out.

Yeah.

And he did.

I trust him. I hope they're not as deep.

Yeah, I hope so too.

Last ones were— they're tough to get, get off of.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't— I think it was the regular season Bears-Packers game. I, I blacked out a little because I— it took so much force to get up that I saw stars for like 5 minutes.

Are you a little concerned that we might be bad at gambling on the new couches?

Can't be worse than what I was on the old couch.

Worried.

I'm worried about it.

What if we just can't be worse than what I was on the old couch?

What if we just suck at gambling now?

I'm going to have a great season of gambling. I've decided that I'm manifesting it. I put it on my Etsy board, my dream board.

I've got—

saw a witch doctor. We should see a witch doctor.

I need— I need the regular season to get here because I'm just betting a lot of futures.

Yeah. Shane, what's your Who's Back of the Week?

Uh, my who's back of the week is this article meme sent earlier where a website ranked the top 32 press box foods.

Okay.

Okay.

Uh, topping out the list was the Dallas Cowboys. They have like prime rib, all that. And then last was the Jaguars where it looks like prison food.

Beans. There was just like a tray of wet beans. Oh, actually that kind of looks good. Yeah. I mean, if you like eating diarrhea. Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, then we find out it makes you smarter.

That is true.

Yeah.

Also, Skyline Chili. Mm-hmm. Yeah. That tree of wet beans in Jacksonville looks really interesting. Then I think the Browns are also pretty low. Yeah.

This is— I feel like they just— I feel like this entire article just ripped off like Ross Tucker's Twitter. He rakes them.

Yeah. Every stadium goes to tuck spreads.

Where are the Chargers?

They're number 5.

I mean, they have to be. I feel like any new stadium, right?

So are the Chargers or Rams higher?

Good question.

I think I went down the list. I think the Chargers are just like if we're looking at other random teams on here, like the Patriots are like 18th.

Yeah. I'm just curious how they're like, you know, there's different food. Oh, the Patriots are 18.

You should make a shirt about it.

Yeah.

Make a shirt. A ChatGPT shirt.

Patriots ranked 18, pussy.

Shane, has enough time elapsed that you realize the ChatGPT part was just weird to say?

Well, I wanted to take credibility away from the shirt.

Got it.

That guy has no respect for me.

You confused us and we thought the shirt itself wasn't real.

No.

Yeah, I'm sorry. I didn't word it correctly. So maybe pussy was a little too far. Actually, yeah, I kind of need to stand on it.

But yeah, right now you're not.

You're not.

You don't stand on the pussy.

You're not standing on it. Yeah, I'm not standing on it.

We're not going to get into the—

I'm considering standing on it.

We're not doing misogyny. We're not Good Good. I like those guys. That was a very funny controversy.

Well, it was the biggest ad of all time.

It was— it was a very, very strange commercial.

Yeah. They just got to have like one person say, hold up, like, hey, this is weird.

Who do you think?

So the ad, for people who don't know, who aren't are online as much as us. Good Good Golf deleted an ad for their new Callaway driver where the setting is basically the Callaway driver sitting in the bag. A woman goes to grab it and then someone from Good Good shoves her and says, don't touch my new driver.

Yeah, that's Gary, right? Yeah, I like Gary. Garrett's a good guy. Yeah, I'm sure he didn't write this.

No, they're probably going through hell right now. You can never judge someone on like a shitty moment, but like, that was just a dumb ad.

Who do you think treats those ads like—

we know though, like, those go a lot of channels. I know, like, it's not—

there's—

it's not like they— it just went up on a whim.

Yeah.

It's also so funny because it's just— it's so internet 2026. It's the dumbest cycle every time where someone does something stupid because it was a stupid ad. I don't think those guys are like bad guys for it, but it was a dumb ad. And then the outrage is crazy. Then Good Good, uh, apologize— apologizes. Then there's a backlash to them apologizing, being like, it wasn't that bad, why are you fucking apologizing?

Yeah. And soon we learn something to be on their side.

Yeah.

And if they— if that's how poorly they treat female drivers, then I'm sure Lyft will make them an offer soon.

Yeah.

We should remake that ad with you, PFD, with your hair out.

I don't think that'd be very funny.

Could be.

I don't think I should apologize. I think you should apologize because that's such a terrible idea for an ad and sends the wrong message.

By the way, a quick update before we do Stay or Steve. Zach, you were 15 home runs back in Dingers Only.

Who's in first?

Uh, you are, Hank. Good job. 82 home runs, Hank. Alex Bregman. And awesome.

And Happ.

And Happ. Grand slam today off the pole. Uh, yeah, so PFT and Brandon, uh, are 7th and 8th, but they are well clear of Zach.

Brandon, I thought this was his thing.

Whatever. He decided to put out on the field. We're— reminder, we're going to have a combo Zach and Stephen Shea punishment. Zach, I'm calling it.

You're calling it?

Yeah.

It's all—

you know what? I'll say this right now.

Got a couple bad ones.

If you somehow don't lose, I will also join in the punishment. Oh, okay. So because you're going to lose, I'm going to—

will you auto accept the trade I put through?

You were going to lose.

What's the trade you put through?

I haven't put it through yet, but will you give me good favor?

What is the trade?

It's not there yet.

Tell it to me. Well, I don't know.

I don't have it yet. That's the thing. I don't have the trade yet.

Trade? Wait, he has a guy who's like not even in the league.

I got a guy who's not playing MLB baseball.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's not good.

And do we get one roster swap, right?

Yeah. Yeah.

So I'm going to— I'm going to very soon, probably the next couple of hours, try to swap him out. If the league can just look at it and decide.

Yeah, whatever. You're still going to finish last.

All right.

And if you don't finish last again, I will I will throw as well. And so you still have to be punished, but I'll also pitch.

Completely understandable.

So Steven was the catcher last time. No, was the pitcher for last one. Zach is the catcher for that one. Oh, right now Zach would be pitching and Steven is in second and he would be catching.

Oh, perfect.

He would just come in relief. Oh, yes. They flip. So then I might have to clean the whole thing up.

Jay has a— Jay's got a 9-dinger lead on Big Cat. Yeah. So that's a pretty sizable lead. But You could possibly catch him.

I don't want to. I might start benching guys. I still have a few guys that aren't really in third, and Aaron Judge has not played really.

It's a very like third through eighth is separated by 6 dingers.

Very tight.

So very, very tight except for Zach at the end. And then Hank is really— Hank's got a great squad.

Great job, Hank.

Thank you.

Ball now.

Facts.

Are you a little upset that you're winning the one challenge that you wouldn't care if you lost?

No, I care. I would care.

No, but you would like to pitch.

That'd be fun.

True. See what I'm saying?

Yeah.

Like this, this first hour of standup.

That's fair. Yeah, that was fun too, though.

That was fun. That was fun. Okay, let's do Sanford Steve and then we have our Mount Rushmore, which, by the way, I think we decided the loser gets skunked.

No.

I'm down.

We should think of something fun, a fun fantasy. I actually—

I'm down to get skunked.

I actually like stealing that— The Very Hungry Caterpillar. Maybe find a different book. Um, James and the Giant Peach. What happens if you had to roll a big peach around for a week?

What happens in Goodnight Moon? They just say goodnight to like— but anything crazy?

Probably not.

Where the Wild Things Are.

Yeah, that's a good book too.

You got to go— yeah.

We could do—

or how about everybody poops? We could come up with Green Eggs and Ham would work.

Yeah.

You have to do all the things from Green Eggs and Ham.

Mm-hmm.

Box, fox, socks.

Everyone poops. We could do that. You just got to go see all the animals poop.

What if you had to get one of those fake Pardon My Books and write all of Pardon My Book in the fake Pardon My Book?

Oh, man.

By hand.

Suck.

That would suck.

And then sell that book.

Oh, my kids love the, the Pigeon Drives the Bus book.

Maybe you have to—

you have to be a passenger in a bus driven by a pigeon. Yeah, that'd be cool.

Yeah.

All right, let's do—

before we get to our great friend and all-around first dude of part of my take, Stanford Steve, he's brought to you by Nobull. This podcast is brought to you by Nobull. Nobull is Barstool's favorite footwear brand. At the end of the day, just a bunch of no-bullshit people working hard to get better. Getting to be that time of year for a reset. Summer's winding down, football's back, schedules start filling up, and you kind of get back into a rhythm. Whether you're getting back to the gym, taking the dog on longer walks, training for something, or just trying to move more, momentum starts by showing up, and Noble can be the first step in helping you build that momentum. No gimmicks, no flashy promises, just apparel and footwear that help you keep going once you get moving. Moving. If you've been looking for a sign to get back into a routine, this is probably it. Check out what Noble's doing, because once you get rolling, the hardest part is already behind you. Exclusively for Pardon My Take listeners, Noble is offering 35% off your first order. Visit nobullproject.com, use code PMT, 35% off your entire first order.

nobullproject.com, use code PMT, and get 35% off your entire First Order. And Stanford Steve is also brought to you by our great friends over at Venmo. That's right, the coolest part about Venmo is your Venmo balance now is yours to spend on what you want whenever you want, because what you're about to spend money on— all the essentials: hot dogs, wings, chips, maybe a jersey that you absolutely did not need— and the great thing is you can buy all of it with the money that's already there in your account. Already in your Venmo balance when you use the Venmo Debit Mastercard. Football's back, so you got tailgating, you got, you got snacks at the concession stand, you got picking up some brews, you got chipping in for gas. Guess what? The money that you have in your Venmo balance right now, you can spend it immediately with Venmo Debit Mastercard. The balance is yours to spend on what you want, when you want. So when your buddy finally pays you back for the fancy fantasy football punishment supply You can turn around, you can use that balance instantly with the Venmo debit card. If there's money in your Venmo balance, the Venmo debit card lets you spend it right away.

No monthly fee, no minimum balance. Learn more: venmo.com/card. And now here's Stanford Steve.

ID verification required to use a balance. The Venmo MasterCard is issued by the Bancorp Bank N.A. Okay, we now welcome on a very, very special guest. He's on the back cover of our book. It is Stanford Steve. Uh, college football is— Week 0 is coming up this weekend. We have Week 1 Labor Day weekend. We're getting excited. Steve will be all over it. He is a great ambassador for college football. You can see him on, uh, uh, with SVP on Monday or every single night, but you also have the SVP pod and you also are going to be on game day. He is the man, Steve. Is that a good enough intro? How are you doing? Did you see the wings we had? See, we had great wings for dinner tonight. I tweeted out, I was like, guess the guest, uh, and a lot of, a lot of Josh Allen guesses.

Oh, I thought it'd be Titus.

No Titus guesses. Someone did guess Stanford. Steve, did you see the wings? Did you? They were incredible wings. What did you think?

The place you guys took me to, that's my favorite place.

No, different place. We got a different place. We'll get you on it. But did you have wings for dinner tonight? What'd you eat for dinner? I did not have any, uh, wings for dinner, guys. What'd you eat for dinner?

Uh, uh, a little chicken broth.

Oh, why? So you're sick?

Yeah, deconstructed chicken wings.

What happened?

You can't eat the day before you're getting a colonoscopy.

Oh no.

All right, well, hey, congrats on getting it done.

Yeah, you guys are too young, huh?

Well, I don't know, we gotta do it.

I just— I, I've opted out of looking that up. I feel like some places might tell you when you're 40.

Yeah.

Yeah, how— hopefully, hopefully no big trades tomorrow, uh, while you're— while you get a colonoscopy. Stanford folds its football program.

Oh man. Yeah, yeah, you come out of it and it's like Bub Carrington got sent to the Kings.

By the way, Steve, I mean, you know, you know me well enough. I mean, you, you knew when you texted me, I, I texted him the picture of the wings, he said, you fucker, I can't eat right now, I'm, I'm not Not for air, but I'm getting ready for a colonoscopy. You knew, you knew I was gonna— yeah, I mean, come on, the guy can't eat. We ate extra for you.

I bet you did, and I'm proud of you. I wouldn't, I wouldn't expect anything less of you, uh, so I appreciate that. Um, yeah, so, um, yeah, I'll be done by the time this comes out. We'll be good to go.

All right, perfect.

All right, I'm looking on the back cover here. You're right underneath Fred Smoot, which is awesome. And you're right.

Just saw him the other day.

You're absolutely, you're frame mugging foul ball guy.

Foul ball guy.

Zach Campbell.

You're just two titans of the industry.

It looks like you might be having your way with Zach Campbell on this.

I don't know.

I don't know what's going on beneath the waist, but it's a good look for you, Steve.

You look great.

Well, I'm looking for the book and I can't, I mean, it's no, every shelf down here is, is gone.

Sold out. Sold out. Love that. All right, Steve, let's talk some ball.

Yeah.

And I have some hot takes for you. Mild takes that I want you to judge. I'll do that in a minute, but let's start with just the top. Top, and we have the top 25. Uh, I have a— I, I'll start with this take. I think Indiana is already getting disrespected again, and it's fucking insane. Like, this is— Kurt Cignetti has done nothing but win. They won— they went undefeated last year. Yes, they obviously lost a bunch of guys, but they had a ton of transfers. Josh Hoover, if he can fix the interceptions, the multiple interception games, I think he'll be just fine. I don't know why we're gonna— like, I feel this sense of, hey, they're not gonna do it again.

They're not.

And yeah, it's hard to repeat, but Indiana's gonna be really fucking good again.

Yeah, really good. I have them ranked 2 right now, um, and I'm with you. I believe when you look at what they have, which is still amazing at the number of guys that were drafted off that defense and the guys they lost, you know, along the playoff run, um, to see what he replaced them with These are big-time players. Uh, you got Brunner, the kid from, from Wisconsin. They already have guys coming back on the offensive line. He slots in at tackle. They have the lineman of the year from the Big Ten back. They can move Evans over. Uh, Nick Marsh is a pro at receiver, and I, I don't want to take anything away from Surratt. He led the country in touchdowns last year. What he and Mendoza did on those fade stops and, and crunch-time plays was outstanding. But Nick Marsh almost had 1,500 yards receiving at Michigan State, and they didn't have much to, to really flaunt at Michigan State. He's a stud. I think the upside is great. And then you saw what Charlie Becker's doing. They bring in Turbo Richard, the running back for Boston College, and the defense brings a ton back.

You know, Bones Jones in the middle, Hardy's in the, in the middle. You know, you lose probably my favorite player in college football this year, and Ponds. But they move the other corner over. Brian Haynes is a wizard when it comes to defense. I'm totally with you. I think what they've— people are just going to say, oh, they can't repeat, it's Indiana, that was a fluke. This, like, look at the roster, man. Yeah, it's very doable. They don't play anybody out of conference. They'll be ripping and roaring as they host Ohio State mid-October.

Yeah, I guess it's kind of like when Clemson went— when Dabo, who— it's crazy doing like all these, like I'm reading all the previews and getting ready for the season. It's like Dabo just doesn't exist anymore in college football, which is a whole other story. Like, that— they just don't exist. Like, Clemson is just not an afterthought. But when Clemson— remember when they were Clemsoning and it was like, oh, they gotta get— and then it takes a couple years for people to be like, oh no, no, this is for real, for real. I, I'm there with Indiana. And I don't know, like, anyone who doesn't think that, like, that thinks last year was a fluke— Kurt Cignetti is going to be ready to go and this team's going to be really, really good.

Yeah, and talking to coaches, guys, like with practice going on and then like what the process was, you guys were, uh, you guys were Big Ten Media Day.

Oh yeah, we're putting flesh on flesh with Sig.

Yes.

Have you ever shaken his hand? Have you done it?

It's not great.

It's terrible. So I, I actually—

now he does it on purpose.

Yeah.

Yeah. So it's probably on purpose. He doesn't give a fuck about handshakes. He's just like, this is time I could be spending watching film. Um, and then I, I do think that there's there's seriously some chances that he lost jobs because of that. That's why it took him so long to maybe get a head coaching gig. Think about it, if you're running a search and it's down to him and like one or two other guys, that handshake sticks out to you and you're like, I, I can't get over the handshake.

Yeah, he doesn't care.

No, he doesn't.

He does not care at all.

And it's a Saban thing too.

What's that?

Apparently Saban—

I—

you've probably shaken his hand more, more than I have, but I've heard that just doesn't—

maybe have you—

just doesn't do better handshake.

Yeah, better handshake. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But okay, so Indiana, they're really good.

I, I also— guys, like, you talk to, you talk to guys like, you know, Wisconsin, what they did, Dan. Like, it feels like coaches were either gonna go with, with, with depth, like keep trying to attain depth and just keep paying guys to, to fill a roster, or like guys bought into continuity and what they did. I think Indiana did a great job of both. Um, so when you look at what they brought in, he, he kept his coordinators. Uh, they— I mean, I think Haynes has got like 4 contract extensions. My man's making some good money, but he's excellent. They're, they're so smart in their approach. You, you talk to people that go there, you know, they don't practice long. It's, it's a really disciplined-to-detail approach, and it's working, man. It, it's totally working. I think, you know, him talking about stalking complacency, I think is is perfect for him because he's, he's like almost always in a bad mood. So like that even compounds it. Like he's constantly going to be in a bad mood trying to find somebody that's slacking off. We saw the story with Nick Barsh, first day of practice with the gold cleats.

Those didn't last long.

Yeah.

So I think, I think Josh Hoover will, will, will learn if he hasn't already learned what the wrath of Signetti is, you know, being a quarterback and knowing that turnovers were his issue. Uh, I, I think, you know, there's an upside there with Hoover who could, you know, flat out throw the, throw the rock. So, um, yeah, I, I, what they did in their approach, I, I can't argue with. I, I think it's really smart on what they've done.

Uh, Steve, I, I have to imagine that you've spent some time, uh, scouting Miami given your Week 1 matchup. Yeah, yeah, spent a lot of time digging into— are the Hurricanes, are they just gonna be back again? Are they going to be almost as good, if not, you know, just as good this I think their ceiling might be higher offensively.

Mensa, when you look at what he did, I forgot the number, I was reading it, but it was some kind of completion percentage, um, adjusted, whatever that meant. Like, he had the most drops of any, of any quarterback. Like, his completion percentage would have been through the roof, uh, if, if his guys didn't have so many drops. And when you look at what he's going to, uh, you know, Alex Maraball, offensive line coach, is there. I'm gonna trust what they do. I know Mario's gonna do it, but Alex coaches the O-line and, and Mario's going to get that. And plus, like, I feel like Coach Griswold doesn't like when everybody hypes them up. So I'm— yeah, we're hyping Miami like he wants. He's, he's also stalking complacency, also knowing that their schedule rots. Yeah. Like they don't play. They go to South Bend and that's basically it. So he is going to be on one all season long because he just wants to get to that end. you know, and get the playoff going because I don't— if they don't win the ACC this year, yeah, I mean, good Lord, it's just not there. The depth in the conference is not there.

And they're, they're— I mean, they lose Mesidor and Bain, but with Tre'or and the safety coming down from, from Boston College, like the speed they have, and Heather as the, as the DC, like they are locked and loaded. And, you know, I've heard people say pound for pound You know, Malachi Tony's the best player in the sport. Like, he's only going to be better. And Mentz is more consistent of a thrower and he's a better deep ball thrower. So that's what scares me. When you look at Miami, the difference from last year, it was slow, methodical, give the ball to Fletcher. We have pros on the offensive line. This could be a lot more razzle-dazzle with Miami and a lot more in-your-face style, which the people that don't like Miami don't like at all. But, uh, yeah, the U is here.

So I was reading about them and their offensive tackle Jackson Cantwell, he's a freshman, he's 18 years old.

Yep.

He was the Gatorade— the National Gatorade Player of the Year, is that correct? As an offensive tackle?

Yeah. And then it sounds like when I'm reading, he's actually gonna play guard, uh, to start because they like what they've— they've— they have at tackle. But yeah, I'm really interested to see what, what that has. Like I said, Maraball is a, is a wizard, uh, offensive, you know, on the offensive line. And I'm not going to worry about that part of that, you know, that unit, uh, for, for the Hurricanes, knowing how good those coaches are.

Because I was thinking about it, like, how much— you're our dude expert. If we have any questions about whether or not some guy's a dude or not, we go straight to you. How big of a dude do you have to be to get Gatorade Player of the Year as an offensive Uh, I think it's verified walking into the U and starting as a true freshman.

Yeah, yeah, that's a blind— like, that's all I need to know. Like, if those guys think he's the, he's the goods, then I can't wait, uh, to see what he brings to the table. I hope he, uh, so we get out alive, uh, week 1 as Miami goes out west. Yeah, we got to get through that game, uh, to save the roster.

All right, here's another one for you, and you mentioned continuity with Indiana. I'm high on Georgia this year. And I don't think you are, but I, I think this is gonna be like an old-school Saban team where their defensive line last year was really good against the run, couldn't get pressure. They're all coming back, they're gonna get better. Great secondary, good run game, steady quarterback. I think they're just gonna cement mixer teams and just like bully them. And that, that, and that's a style that, I mean, you see like some of these teams— Ohio State plays at a snail's pace. Like some of these teams have gone the other way where they're just playing clock control and just beating you up and being like, hey, we have better dudes. I think that's what Georgia is going to be like this year.

Yeah, I don't have them in my top 5, but I— they can definitely win a national championship. Uh, I just— I want to see more. Uh, you know, you talked about the defensive numbers, like, you know, everybody, you know, in this day and age, like, the Georgia teams that won back-to-back titles, go back and look at how many guys got drafted. Like those days of depth, we're not going to— we don't have them anymore because kids are going to go other places and get more money to play and not sit. Like the days of stockpiling the roster, which they were able to do, and a credit to them for doing it. I don't see those. So, you know, there's an adaptation process that Kirby has gone through. Like, look at what they've done in the portal. They haven't gone out and gotten the 5-star receiver, right? They have Stockton. He's not really a big ego. He's a tough dude, probably the toughest quarterback fact, there is when you look at the hits that he's taken. So to your point, there is a methodical approach. There is a, you know, a stranglehold that they want to have you, you know, for the first 3 quarters and then they put you in the ground in the 4th quarter.

So I'm not doubting Georgia. It's just I want to see some of the new faces that are getting the ball. Like Frazier didn't turn it over, I think, the last 11 games. He was a former number 1 player in the country that had fumble issues. And, you know, he got going late. So that offensive line should be set too, which they didn't have for the last 2 years, which I think, you know, the other thing too is like, oh, what happened to Georgia? What happened to Georgia the last few years? I'm like, well, Trinidad Chambliss was an absolute wizard.

And then the year before, backup, they didn't have their quarterback, the runner-up. Yeah, Notre Dame was the runner-up. Like, I know Ohio State was way better than Notre Dame, but it's, it's funny to look at and be like, oh, Georgia totally fell off. No, they ran into a buzzsaw at quarterback last year that was playing perfect ball, correct?

And the year before, they were, you know, that got hurt in the SEC Championship game, right? Didn't play.

It was Ryder Stockton's first, first start in the, in the college football playoffs.

So I'm not making an excuse, like, I don't want to take anything away from Notre Dame, but people are like, what happened? Well, that's what happened. Yeah, it's college football, man.

Shit happens, right? Right. So I think, and I think that like everyone, the continuity aspect of like like all these guys are a year older and they, they showed it with the run defense. They can probably get the pressures. Elijah Griffin's an absolute stud. I think they're going to be that team this year where it's like, you get ready. Like, remember when it used to be the stat, like the week after you play Alabama, it's like you just get— your bodies are broken. I think that's what Georgia is going to be like this year.

So you have a future on them?

No, I, I haven't actually placed a single college football bet yet.

Really?

Yeah. Oh, Dari Mensah was the one thing I was looking at.

You're selling a book. I forgot, you know.

Yeah, I'm selling a book.

What are you doing?

No, I, I also don't want to tie— I got too much. You, you already— listen, every time I get on the phone with you, you give me something else, so I get tied up with other things. Now we're Phillies NL Cent— or NL East. I got Max on that too. I know.

What about in college football right now, Steve? It sounds like you've given it some thought. You might have a couple, a couple things lingering out there, some banknotes that might come due later.

Uh, yeah, I, I I put it this way, I don't— you could go whatever way. If you want to bet the season win total over, if you want to bet them to, you know, put them in a parlay to, you know, go far in the playoff, make the playoff, win the national championship, I think Notre Dame is the real deal, guys. I mean, yeah, when you look at what they return and the bad taste in their mouth and like no one was more upset that they didn't play in a bowl game than me. I just didn't think that was the right approach because you had a young quarterback and he could play.

More.

Uh, so I look at what they return. I believe it's the best defense in the country coming into the season. And CJ Carr is real. Uh, they got some Ohio State receivers. I am not going to worry about what's in the running back room at Notre Dame. I think Marcus— I trust Marcus Freeman where he's gonna have a guy he can hand the ball off to, or a couple guys, and be great. Uh, they got another absolute stud, uh, coming in at tight end. The offensive line is locked and loaded. They got a freshman coming in to Left tackle Will Black, who's— I think I know he played prep ball in Connecticut. He might have a little Canadian in him, but they, they love what they have there. So lines of scrimmage like Indiana, I love it because the line of scrimmage, Notre Dame might be a tad stronger because of their depth on the defensive side. So I really expect, I expect them to win the national championship. The only thing, uh, but they're in the Miami category. Their schedule's not tough.

Yeah, they can't lose to BYU though.

No, no, because I mean, if that's a collision course, that place will be bonkers.

And that could also be a similar situation. Like, I think Miami's gonna win the ACC this year.

Yep.

But if they lose to BYU, could very well be the second best team in the Big 12, and you could have the same situation where it's like head-to-head should matter. So it's like, they just— they could lose one game, they can't lose two again, because that's the problem with playing a soft schedule. They don't have have the games to make it up if they lose. They have, they have 3 ranked games on the schedule as of right now. If you lose 2 out of 3 of them, which I don't think they will— I'm very high on Notre Dame as well— you don't have anything to make up for it.

No. And, and I think, like, that's what came back to bite them last year, right? Like, every— everybody, when they were, when they were 0-2, everybody's like, oh, 10-2 Notre Dame, they're gonna get in. They didn't get in, right?

Because they lie in that loss to Miami. All right, I got another one for you, uh, especially like going off the Georgia conversation of like what's happened to Georgia. I've been thinking a lot about Oregon. Oregon, I think a lot of people are picking them to win the national title.

Yep.

The conversation is can Dan Lanning win the big one? I don't think that's the conversation. If you look at Oregon the last 3 years, they have lost 5 total games and they have all been to the national champion or the runner-up. They lost 2 games to Washington in 2023. They lost a game to Ohio State in 2024 at the Rose Bowl. And they lost 2 games to Indiana last year. So it's like they beat everyone and then yes, obviously those are big, big games. Yeah, the rematches, right? I don't know if I fully trust Dante Moore though. And I— here's, here's why. I was, I was looking through it and like the Indiana game in the, in the playoffs was bad. Obviously the Iowa game was not great until the final drive. The Indiana game at home wasn't great. And it's like he's got to be the guy. He's got to, he's got to go up that next level, and maybe he will because he's got all— everyone's healthy.

Yep.

He's got to go up that next level. That's what I'm scared about. I have no problems with Dan Lanning. I think Dan Lanning can get it done. It's Dante— can Dante Moore get it done?

I agree with you.

I—

it's a wait and see for me with Oregon. And I mean, you talk to their fans, they're, they're just pissed off because of how the last two seasons ended, right? And, and the third because because they hate Washington also. Uh, but, um, listen, they got guys to replace on the offensive line, okay? You have a double coordinator change, uh, new offensive coordinator, new defensive coordinator. And, you know, I, uh, was talking to McShay the other day on his show, and I asked him, like, in evaluating quarterbacks, do you have like a, a checkbox for like nuggets on the road? Like, do you— like, what does a guy do when he goes into a hostile environment? And, you know, he didn't really answer that, but like, that's what I look at. Like, I was, I was on, uh, on the field for the game at home against Indiana last year, and I, I thought things went wrong early and they confused them and it just didn't look good. And then I realized how fast Indiana was defensively, uh, with their speed. I'm like, this is going to be an issue all day. Uh, you mentioned the Iowa game.

He was unbelievable. I think he went 5 for 5.

That last drive was incredible. I remember after the— I was like, that's the moment that I've been looking more from him.

And, and like, I was at the Whiteout last year, like, they had chances to put Penn State away, they didn't do it. I just want to see more from Dante, that, that's it. Now, he— you mentioned all the injuries. Evan Stewart's a former number 1 wide receiver in the country. DeCorey Moore was the number 1 receiver in the country last year, he got hurt. He didn't have all those toys to play with. I don't think Sadiq was healthy at the end of last year. This year he's got all his weapons, uh, so I do expect a big year from Dante. It's just a wait and see for Yeah. The other question I have and, you know, everyone talks about their front fours, the best defensive line, but when you read it, the guys they rotated with last year all went to other schools, so they don't have the depth. And that's what I wonder, you know, I expect teams like Washington, USC to be better this year. They go to USC and play them, you know, they, they go on, they get Washington, you know, they go to Ohio State like, how are you going to match up?

When you don't have that depth. He's done it. He's the only coach, I believe, in the top 5 in transfer portal and recruiting classes the last 2 years. So they should have the depth. But I just want to see it. And more than anything, I know their fan base wants to see it because there's a, there's, there's a really bad taste in their mouth for what those seasons have ended and what they look like as they ended the last 3 years.

Yeah.

Yeah. What about you mentioned it, USC? What do you expect out of them? Is that like maybe a pre— is the— I don't want to say it's a hot seat yet, but are we preheating it? We get it ready just in case.

What do you preheat it at, 425?

Yeah, about 420. Well, it's LA, it's probably 420, take 5 off there. Yeah, but you know what I'm talking about. Uh, like how quickly are we gonna be like stinking Riley?

Yeah, I look at USC, this is the big— the Big Ten question I have, guys, is I put USC, Washington, Penn State, Michigan, and I hate that I'm not doing it, but I'm not putting Iowa in that category. I believe one of those four, or maybe two of those four, are going to go to the playoff. And when you talk to people that have gone to see USC, it sounds a lot like Oklahoma this year. This is the best team Lincoln Riley's had at USC, along with Venables. This is the best team he's had at Oklahoma. So there's no more excuses, uh, you They lose Lemon. Lane's been great for the Ravens. Like, I am not ever going to worry about a wide receiver room at USC.

No, no.

I had to play against them when I was younger. And it just— trust me, they know what they're doing to get wide receivers. So when you look at Mayaba, he's going to take the next step. They're built. They've done a really good job recruiting. It sounds like they're going to start the 5-star defensive end. That's what I want to hear when I'm— when I'm here, when I'm asking about USC. I need some depth on the lines of scrimmage because, you know, you go to a road game and whatever it was, 8:00 AM, you know, local time or, you know, body, body clock time at Champaign, Illinois, and you lose that game. And that basically is the difference.

Yeah. In your season, you know, and that's the thing with USC is I think they could be a good team. I don't know if they'll make the playoff because their schedule, like it's the schedule lottery is half, half of figuring this out.

Out.

They have a 6-game stretch. I was looking at it where it's an absolute gauntlet because they play Oregon, Washington, at Penn State, then they get a bye, then they have to play at Wisconsin, Ohio State, at Indiana. That's 6 teams that are really, really good.

Uh, really?

Oh, you don't—

you're not high on Penn State?

Uh, no, I want to see what Wisconsin looks like.

I thought I'd slip one in.

You also—

one in there.

You left off, uh, September 17th they go to Piscataway. That's going to be one of those like 8 AM games probably. Yeah, yeah, they'll probably still beat them by 25.

Yeah, I think Oregon's still scoring, uh, when they went to Rutgers.

The schedule is— it really is crazy. Like, I— here's another take I had: James Franklin would have made the playoffs this year with Penn State. Like, it's, it's like—

why?

So Matt Campbell could go to the playoffs this year and you, you— it could still be like, hey, that was, that was the wrong move to fire James Franklin, and, and he's not going to be like better long term. But the way their schedule works out, Penn State has 3 games that they have to win, you know, they have to win 1 or 2 of them. They're USC at Michigan at Washington. They don't get to play— they don't have to play Ohio State this year, they don't play Indiana, they don't play Oregon. If they go 2-1 in those, that's a 10-win team, 11-win team, and you're not going to leave them out out the Big Ten. If you get to 10-2 or 11-1 in the Big Ten, you're in. It doesn't matter. Your schedule could suck. Doesn't matter.

So did you say Washington?

Yeah. All right, they had to play out USC, at Michigan, at Washington. Like, they finally got a reprieve in their schedule, and James Franklin's not— like, James Franklin's boogeyman is Ohio State, and he doesn't have to play him this year. Yeah, it's crazy. So like, I think Penn State could be that team that you mentioned that could be that, that that 4th team in from the Big Ten because their schedule allows it, where their margin for error is a little bit, you know, like if they, if they can beat the teams they're supposed to beat, they got a 3-game schedule basically.

Listen, all we did last year at this time was talk about how hard Oklahoma's schedule was, and I was, I was there, like it was number 1 in the country, it was as tough as it got. Mantiere got hurt, they barely had him 100%, and they still made it to off because they played their balls off on defense and got wins on the road when they absolutely needed to. So a 10-2 Big Ten team, like, I get it, people are going to pick it apart, especially when you compare it to maybe a 9-3 or a couple 9-3 teams in the SEC. A 10-2 Big Ten team's getting in, right?

So that's why, like, I, I just like— and I'm— the teams you mentioned, like Michigan, we talk about— I don't— I think Michigan is closer to winning, being a 7-win team than a 10-win team, unless Bryce Underwood is like massively better, which he definitely could be. But like that, Michigan, it feels like more likely for the bottom to fall out, uh, on Bryce Underwood than, than Penn State.

And Penn State goes to Michigan, right?

Penn State goes to Michigan. Michigan has a very tough schedule. And Bryce Underwood, I'm not— I, I have to see. It's kind of like the Dante Moore's been better, uh, so don't put him in the same category. But I gotta see it to believe all the hype. You know what I mean? And was it the coaching staff was holding him back, which I'll buy. Their coaching staff upgrade is massive. Kyle Whittingham is 7 million times better than Sheron Moore and whatever he was doing at the end of the season. But I just don't know if I can— I'm not ready to just jump in feet first with Bryce Underwood yet.

And that's like when you really look into Michigan and I— they're really, really interesting to me this year because I think the world of Whittingham as a coach. He's exactly what they need to get some order in that program. And, you know, offensive coordinator Beck comes in, he, you know, led a charge of Utah flipping their rush offense upside down last year. I think they were third or maybe even led the country with the Dampier kid, you know. But then when you read into that, they had two, what, top 12 tackles?

Yeah.

You know, right.

Michigan's going to have a good offensive line, but I'm not doubting Michigan. They have opportunities. Like Oklahoma, buckle up. Like, that is a really good physical game, Week 2, with Oklahoma and Michigan. And I like the idea that Michigan, you know, went to their place and played them last year, uh, with a big crew. Like, Whittingham's not going to give you any bulletin board material, but his team is going to be ready to go. So that, that's a great matchup where we're going to get a good litmus test of, of those teams and where they are. And then going back to those Big Ten teams we mentioned with the Penn State, Michigan, USC, Yeah, in Washington, they all play each other. Yeah, which is good.

Yeah.

So, you know, you have a barometer to go off of there. And, you know, people were talking about, you know, the playoff expanding, whatever. Like, it's not expanding yet. So we love college football for the regular season because the games mean something. So let's count them, you know, when they mean something. It's, it's kind of, you know, it happens every year. Like, look at Texas and Ohio State last year. You know, Texas didn't get any credit it. No, we're losing 14-7. No. And going— and then you see that defense for Ohio State just smother teams over and over and over, week after week after week, and you're like, uh, Texas, like, it was right there.

Yeah, it was more like we saw that game, we were like, wow, Texas sucks. Yeah, what a terrible, terrible offense they have. And then you learn a little bit as the season goes on, um, that— I mean, this year, what are they playing, week 2?

Yeah, this week 2 is loaded. Oklahoma, by the way, you're right, like That will be the test. And if he does, if he passes that test, I'll be fully believing in him.

So with, with Texas, Ohio State, we'll at least have one week where we can see some other teams that we can make fun of and be like, well, at least they're not that team. Um, I think I'm very— I'm as high on Texas as I've been since I lived in Austin. I feel like they've got, they've got maybe the best roster in college football, maybe the most expensive roster in college football. Um, I think, I think I've decided to believe in Arch until, uh, until my eyes tell me otherwise this year. But I saw enough from him, I think, as the season was ending. Like, this is, uh, not hot seat, but there's going to be some scuttlebutt. There's going to be some talk about Sark if he doesn't get to a national championship this year, if he doesn't take this roster and, and feel like, uh, you know, they, they almost need him to get into the, uh, national championship. That's what I'm feeling in Austin right now, where it's like things can be they— things can go off the rails with 3 wins or 3 losses. They have 3 losses, people behind the scenes will start to talk about Sark.

What are your thoughts?

I think it's a monster spot week too, because again, you know, with that physicality, uh, Matt Patricia, you know, did an unbelievable job coming in Ohio State, and that was the whole talk going into that game. What was he going to do? He put Arch in a blender. Uh, first play of the game, Texas just runs a simple rollout, let's get a completion, Arch threw it in and I'm like, oh boy, this is what we're gonna get all day. And then you just see Ohio State's defense build and build and build. So I think it's a monster spot for Arch knowing that he's seen Patricia. Uh, when you talk to people at Texas, they absolutely love the upgrades they got in the running back room and the wide receiver room. Uh, you know, McShay was talking the other day— I think it's a great talk for, you know, people. I'm not a big comp guy, but he was talking about Cam Coleman going to Texas And, you know, Cam Coleman reminds me of AJ Green when he was at Georgia in that same draft. Calvin Johnson was at Georgia Tech and Jeremiah Smith is, is, is Calvin Johnson.

So like you have this, you know, methodical approach of looking at and comparison to look at receivers going down the road. But Texas, they never shy away from it. Like things have got like they got run out of the building at Georgia last year. Like they They had their chance, you know, but they come back and they beat A&M for their first loss of the season and they were playing their best football at the end of the season. And everybody got too crazy last year with the preseason expectations. They saw the last name Manning and it was like, oh my God, number one Heisman, whatever. I was like, let the kid play, let him play, man. It's a pretty big spotlight he's got to play. So what they feel they have at the skill positions Uh, and then, you know, when you watch Texas back last year, it wasn't that fancy motion shift, uh, you know, you know, quick screen game that, that Sark had. You know, it was a more, hey, let's try and open up some windows so to help Arch throwing the football. It seemed pretty basic. Uh, they went through a ton of offensive line guys and didn't settle on, on their, their 5 until late in the year.

So I expected, you know, it's big in Austin and it changes every freaking time I go there with more stuff there, but it'll it'll be monstrous, uh, Week 2 with Ohio State coming in. Because Ohio State, I mean, talk, you talk to people there, they have the worst taste in their mouth for what they look like, uh, in their last 2 games, giving up 10 sacks to Miami and Indiana. So plenty to prove, which is awesome, uh, and what we want for Week 2 in Austin.

You, you pause there when PFT said most expensive roster. Who is the most expensive roster? Is it LSU?

Yeah.

Do you think, do you think, do you think LSU— what's LSU's ceiling this year. We're biased, by the way. We are Lane fans. We just want to get that out in the open.

Yeah. Uh, I saw that.

I don't know if you know that about us.

We did yoga.

We played, we played softball with him.

Beat him. We did beat him though. Yeah.

We got those teams split up fair.

Very, very.

He actually loaded his team.

Was there a draft?

No, no. He took all his guys, including some coaches from the LSU softball team.

Oh yeah.

We got one of his guys who ended up being the MVP for our team, but That's neither here nor there.

Yeah, we're just dialed, Steve.

That was the last guy in the line, we just took him.

Listen, yeah, it just happened. Things shake out, you just don't know who's going where. We had Zach, you know, hitting, get going like 2 for 4, so we just hit it right at Lane and he couldn't do anything about it. But what is there— what's a realistic season for Lane Kiffin? Because he is like— if LSU can get to the playoff this year with Lane, it's gonna be, it's gonna be incredible to watch.

Oh, I mean And now with this latest, uh, you know, getting a Cleveland Browns free agent, uh, it's only getting, you know, there's only more smoke. Uh, I, I, I could see both ways, guys. Like, the way he has constructed this roster, you know, Levitt was highly sought after. Uh, you know, I just wanted to see more from him last year. And, you know, before he got hurt, uh, he didn't look like the player he did, um, the year prior. He didn't look as motivated. When you, when you look at what Lane has done in assessing his roster and what he's brought in, like they got this safety coming in, Benefield from Boise State. He's an absolute man-child. You got Coach O on the D-line, you know, working with the true freshmen. It sounds like they're going to play a ton. They don't look like true freshmen. The wide receiver room, it doesn't feel like they have that alpha guy, but it feels like they got plenty of guys and it's another school. I'm not going to worry about the running back at LSU. Like they're going to, they're going to have a running back.

The issue with LSU is the offensive line, and that's what's been the problem. That was Brian Kelly's downfall. They just didn't run the football. And when you are so one-dimensional like that, you're going to get teams that could tee off on your quarterback because you're in predictable situations and you don't have good talent up front. And Nussmeyer got bruised and battered and didn't even finish the season. So I think that's the first thing you got to shore up because, you know, Lane is this fun, you know, putting their arms up in the air when the ball's in the air and seeing a touchdown before it happens and all that. That. He also is great at running the football, and that's what they need back at LSU. There you go down there. Those people, they want to play defense and run the football. That's what LSU people want. That's how they won national championships. That's what Coach Saban brought. That's what Les did when they won a national championship. So it's got to be this turn of way of doing things. And I don't, I don't doubt Lane and Charlie. You know, I thought it was really interesting the other day when a reporter asked him about the green dot numbers.

Did you see that? No, him and Charlie Weiss are the number one tandem since they put the green dot in the quarterback's helmet. Number one in points, number one in yards, and number one in yards per play. Oh wow.

And it's like, yep, they know what they're doing.

Yeah, they know what they're doing.

You talk to your quarterback.

Yeah, you know, it's still a kid out there, you know, Trinidad doing his thing last year, but there's definitely a way of going about things where they seem to feel really good about and And the numbers say they're the best at what they do. So I am not doubting them. It's just a lot of managing expectations like this line now is getting like over 10 points against Clemson. I'd be careful there because I think— or I believe LSU is going to be more of a defensive team to start the season. When I look at what they have talent-wise and that home crowd and bringing Blake Baker back in weeks at linebacker, I really think they're going to to trust their defense and not play this loosey-goosey crazy offense where your turnovers could hurt you. So I think a button-down approach to start for LSU because, you know, week 1 and then you got whoever week 2, and then week 3 is just going to be a circus.

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Go get one today. Lucy.co/pmt with code PMT. Now back to Stanford Steve.

So yeah, September 19th at Oxford, LSU, Ole Miss. Is there going to be an angrier stadium in the entire country this year? I feel like that Maybe this decade this feels like that's going to be a crazy environment to go into. I mean, you're talking about the green dot stuff.

Yeah.

If I'm Ole Miss, I'm probably trying to figure out a way to screw up the green dot stuff. Like, get Belichick's people on the line, figure out how to, how to, like, jam the communications, whatever the case may be. But like, they know all of his tricks. So that's going to be a crazy environment.

Yeah. The one thing I'll say is being at the Fiesta Bowl last year and being around Ole Miss fans, It was, it was so weird. Like, not weird, but like, I guess I was kind of caught off guard that they were totally fine. Like, let go. Like, we were trying to win a national championship. Like, you know, it was like they just— he just kept getting in the way and stalling. It's like, we have games away, we're in the playoff, we have a chance that we haven't had and seems like forever.

Yeah.

Uh, so I, I— yes, they're, they're— put it this way, there's going to be a very strong want-to-win feeling in the building. I think in Oxford—

make that a graphic.

Yeah.

Ole Miss is going to want to beat LSU week 3. They're going to lead for C.

They're going to lead the league in wanting. Yeah.

On that day, September 19th.

Give me your— because we've talked a lot about some really good SEC teams, or I guess some teams with a lot of expectations in the SEC. Can you give me your top 5 SEC power rankings?

Oh, uh, Georgia, Texas, Oklahoma, Ole Miss, LSU, probably LSU, Alabama's—

this could be a bad season.

Oh wait, no, I'll put it— I'll put Alabama. Okay, yeah, Alabama.

Yeah, what—

I love the quarterback.

Is Caleb Euboeur— like, if this— if this goes sideways, this feels like—

what is sideways? They— their only team to win a road playoff.

I know, but yeah, but they lost.

I'm not—

listen, Listen, Steve, I, I'm not saying like if we're talking about what expectations are for fan bases, if, if Alabama not winning a national title last 3 years, ask 95% of fan bases in college football, they'd take that season. I would, I would kill for Alabama's season the last 3 years, but it's Alabama. You know that if they don't go to the playoff, if they lose, you know, some big games, people are going to They had a lady last year who said that if she wins Powerball, she's gonna just buy him out right there.

Yeah, I didn't hear from her after they went to Georgia and won.

Uh, well, that Kirby's got an Alabama problem.

I got you. Yeah, he got it, you know, he got revenge, uh, in the SEC Championship game. Look, it's, it's the same deal as Oregon, you know, how bad the taster was. They got destroyed by Indiana. Like, you're not the only team that Indiana did that to, right? I mean, Illinois, they— what'd they score, 70? Yeah, you know, that was like a top 10 game, and we never heard from Illinois really the rest of the season. So I just— managing expectations, oh yeah, it sounds great, really fun stuff. But let's be real here, like, you— it's a different day and age. You, you got in the playoff, uh, you had an awesome win, uh, being there for that and seeing that building. I was like, I was the only one on the desk that picked Alabama. I did not feel great when the stadium went dark and they started playing the music.

Steve, you picked Alabama?

I did, against Oklahoma.

Oh, against Oklahoma. I'm not— no, I thought you meant against Indiana.

No, 10-1.

Yeah, yeah. Okay, all right, that was— so that was a good pick. Good pick by you there.

That was really good. Once, once in a while.

Yeah, although Oklahoma had them and it's just— oh, that was so bad what transpired. They had them, they had them dead.

And, and that's like, it's a Is it a one-off? I don't know, but it's the only road team to go win, and look how it happened.

Yeah, you know, you're not wrong. I'm just saying, I—

listen, I mean, again, kicker was, uh, what is it, Lou Groza? He missed field goals.

I'm just telling you, like, what Alabama fan— you know it better than anyone— Alabama fans, they expect national championships.

I mean, they got to be better.

Anything—

sure.

All right, wait, there's one team you didn't mention that's probably gonna be really pissed because you actually— PFT asked for 5, you gave 6, and you didn't say Texas A&M. Them and their fan base. I don't know if you know this, they're— they just get triggered by everything, and I love them for that. Yeah, so they're mad right now listening to this.

Yeah.

Oh yeah, they're slamming their fucking class rings on the— on the table being like, this idiot who doesn't even eat wings anymore.

Ring— when the ring hits it.

Yeah, yeah.

Uh, I just want— your schedule is tougher than it was last year. I mean, we got to be frank there. You know, other coordinator changes too there. And, uh, they lost some guys, man. They, they, they had some playmakers. I mean, Casey Concepcion, the guys on the defense, I, I want to see them step up and do it. I love Elko, uh, as good of a defensive mind as there is in the sport. Again, another— I'm not doubting him. I don't have him ranked right now, and that's, that's what's fun about the preseason stuff, right? I, I had Clemson and Penn State playing in the national championship game last year, not the Pinstripe Bowl.

Yeah, Kenny Walker also had that.

What do you think about, about Clemson just in general, big picture stuff? I feel like this— it's kind of been like Dabo is not— I haven't expected anything out of Dabo for the last couple seasons, and I don't think Clemson's gonna fire him. I think he might fire Clemson and just be like, I'm done with college football, um, or go to a different I'm going to a different school that'll just let me be me. But I feel like things could go off the rails pretty early this year.

Yeah, I mean, there's, there's monstrous spots, right? And when you listen to Dabo, there is a trust he has in his program and what he's built with his staff. And then with the quarterback situation, like, you know, everybody knows they, they don't violate the portal like other teams have. They did go get some guys, um, but I think it's just a test to go go see what you got Saturday night in Baton Rouge. Like, you, you have to give a good showing because talk about stuff that doesn't make sense. Like, we were saying, oh yeah, they underachieved last year. Look how many guys got drafted off the defense. Like, it's crazy the NFL talent they had and they just couldn't get— you know, I don't know if motivation was a factor, but, you know, Klubnik didn't look like the same guy. He had his best receiver hurt. Like, all the stuff happens to all these teams. But just when you look back at Clemson and see the amount of NFL talent they had and they played in the Pinstripe Bowl, that doesn't make sense. So that's why I would say before, I expect Clemson to come in with a sound plan, you know, try not to get that place rocking early on or it could be a long night.

But it— there's a, you know, a self— a self-grit test they got when they go into Baton Rouge. Yeah, to see what, you know, what they're made of. And, you know, I'm not saying a close loss is a win, uh, but you have to man up and show that you're here to play and, and you have a foundation for the season. Because last year, right off the get, it was done. They were done.

Yeah.

All right, uh, a couple more questions real quick. Uh, Big 12, if not Texas Tech, then who? Because everyone has Texas Tech as a foregone conclusion. Uh, they are, they are the best team. They don't have a tough schedule.

But who?

Okay, uh, I, uh, I'm in the belief that, to your point, it can't be this easy, right? It cannot be this easy because, again, another team— I watched David Bailey a couple snaps the other night, like forgetting he was a college football player last year, like he's gonna be fine for the Jets. That dude's a man-child. He did look better in Stanford Cardinal, uh, but he's in, in Jets green I said I believe West Virginia plays in the Big 12 Championship.

I like that, Rich Rod. They got it.

When you look at something going there, you look at their home schedule. Everyone hates going to play in Morgantown. I love going to games there. Their fans are awesome, uh, one of my favorites in the whole sport. But when you look what he's got, he had to— he got, uh, the kid Cook from Jacksonville State, was the nation's leading rusher. He got Hawkins, who's more of a runner. I always love Rich Rod's offense when he has a quarterback that, you know, can be part of the run game. And, you know, Texas Tech is going to be really good defensively and you're going to have to have some diversity offensively. And I just looked down the rung and, and I looked at what West Virginia plays at home and I like their chances. I trust Rich Rod. I feel like he's, he's, he's not going to let you, you know, inside. Side. Uh, but I have a trust in— he's done it before, you know. And, and with all the changeover— and see, these, like, Kansas State, everybody loves their schedule. I just look at how much changeover they have. Like, all their best players are gone.

They got a new head coach, and he's a former, you know, great at the school. Um, it's his first time doing it. BYU, probably as good as there is up front in that league, but is Bear Bachmeier going to be a, uh, you know, Is he going to win games throwing the football? I got to see that first, and I, I didn't see that last year. And it sucked at the end of last year too because he was hurt and playing on one leg. Uh, but I went off the cuff there and, and, you know, a little juice that said West Virginia's in the Big 12 title game.

I like that. I like to take a shot at it. Now, are we going to have any conversations about, uh, Deion Sanders being one of the best 3 coaches in college football this year like we did a couple years ago? Any chance at all that happens.

I, I don't see that happen. I just look at the roster and it just doesn't add up. And I, you know, look at their schedule compared to Texas Tech, uh, I, I think for one now, like, again, they're another team. Like, they could go— they go to Georgia Tech, they could wow everybody. That's gonna be on, you know, I think that's Friday night, like, standalone game. Show what you got and, and get people to believe in it. But the way Georgia Tech's built, I'll take that matchup against Colorado.

Yeah.

Um, here's a dumb question for you, Steve. Um, what team is this year's Indiana?

I got one for you. I mean, they're not going to be Indiana.

They're not going to win at all.

It's a dumb question.

Oklahoma State.

I gotta see it.

Everyone coming from North Texas.

When I watched North Texas in their big games last year, it was not good.

Listen, I agree. I'm just saying like a similar level-up coach, brings a lot of their roster, maybe shocks some people, especially, you know, how bad they have been the last couple of years. Oklahoma State has been like, like almost depressingly bad. They're not going to be into it, but like, that could be a team that, you know, could shock some people a little bit.

I'd be down for some like old-school Oklahoma State, like 50 to 60 losses under the lights, like some of those North Texas.

They're gonna score.

Pistol Pete's the best mascot in the sport. Yeah, I agree. I love I love him. He gave me a hug in the Fiesta Bowl when they— when Stanford missed a field goal, uh, and Oklahoma State won.

That's nice.

That's the biggest thing in the world.

Yeah.

Uh, no, it'd be great. I'm with you, uh, PFT. Like, to see Stillwater back as a place that people hate going to play would be awesome. I look at other teams that just have not even been close to what, uh, they want to be.

Yeah.

And Florida and Auburn play Week 3.

Mm-hmm.

The winner of that game, watch out.

Okay.

Yeah. Again, to your point, Dan, I don't think they can win the national championship, but they're going to catch some teams, man. I love both those hires. And those are two places like, you know, we look at, you know, the schedule of the season. I'm like, man, I would really love for Game Day to go back to Gainesville or Auburn. We haven't been there in so long and it just tells you they've been off the map. So I know those two schools are very, uh, not good at managing their expectations, right, as we've talked about a lot on this podcast. Uh, but the winner of that game, it's gonna get out of control real quick. Uh, so I— that, that's a very interesting game to me.

It's such a dumb question to ask you because like it, we— it really puts into perspective like how crazy Indiana has been, that entire story. It's like you can't I can't say who's the next Indiana because they're the worst program ever in the history. Yeah. There's never been an Indiana before Indiana. So how can you be like, I'll never be another year after. But the answer to the question is actually UCLA. If somebody asks you, you just say UCLA because it's some Bob.

Yeah.

Handsome Bob. And are you familiar with Frankie Volcano?

I believe he was asked about him in the media day.

Was he really?

Well, we asked him about it.

Yeah. I thought Liam did.

Well, yeah.

Yeah.

We, we, we, yeah.

The Royal.

He was, he's part of the team.

Yeah.

All right.

The team asked him about it.

I didn't know. I didn't know if there was different sections.

No, Frankie V. The team asked him about Frankie.

Frankie.

Yeah. He went out there and did practice and everything, right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. With, uh, with—

I really wanted Handsome Bob to do Big Ten Media Day in his sunglasses because I know that guy could pull it off.

It would have been nice.

Whatever he wants.

That would be good. What about, um, what about UNC? How is— are we gonna fast forward to, uh, to January and we're gonna say Returning for the 2027 season is Coach Bill Belichick.

I have a question for you guys.

We love, we love Jordyn. That's my answer. Sharp, smart girl.

Can anything happen for Belichick's era at North Carolina to be as bad as Urban Meyer was with the Jags?

I mean, yeah, he could put his finger where it shouldn't be. Oh geez.

He's respectful. He's got a lovely lady.

I'm just saying, like, you asked the question.

I mean, yeah, yeah, I guess it could happen, but yeah, I don't want to think about it. Like, what's their schedule? Where do they go early?

It's way tougher than it was last year.

Yeah, yeah. They started TCU last year. I remember that. Well, they start TCU again in Dublin. Okay. Yeah, yeah. Okay. So like, if— yeah, fingers go places they shouldn't and sink James Gate in Ireland.

Yeah, you shouldn't have. That was on you, dude. That— you know what that is? That's a guy who hasn't— he's only had chicken broth for the last 12 hours. Yeah, you're getting— you're starting to hallucinate. Yeah, guys like us shouldn't be doing that.

Yeah, he's walking back onto the plane, they're like, sir, what's that on your fingers?

He's like, can't be doing that.

Oh no, don't worry, that's just Guinness. Yeah, I can see what you're thinking.

Can't be doing that, Steve. Uh, all right, I, uh, my last question, then we have Zach's question coming up. Uh, Steve, your— it's a trivia question. And then off of that, I want to, I want to hear a follow-up question, but 10 of the 12 national champions in the college football era have been preseason ranked top 5. Who are the 2 that were not preseason ranked top 5?

Indiana.

Yes.

It's an easy one.

Preseason top 5.

Yeah.

Preseason top 5.

5.

Georgia, Bama, Ohio State. All right. This is bad. This is bad podcasting. Want me to give you the answer? 2019 LSU, number 6. Is your national— yeah, they were number 6. Is your national champion a preseason top 5 team?

Yeah.

It's Notre Dame. Okay. I like that. Are you worried that they're— I guess in the new, in the new like college football landscape with scheduling, it's— and I, I know there's this whole thing with Indiana and they play a soft schedule in the preseason. It doesn't matter because of what they did in the, the totality of the season last year. But I, I do think like playing cupcakes, yes, your margin for error might get a little smaller, but you also have fresher bodies. Like Notre Dame is not going to have to go through some of the wars that some of these, you know, the Big Ten and SEC teams might have to go through to get to the finish line.

And they're, they're one thing I would point to that concerns me. And you talked about having fresh bodies. They don't have a backup quarterback that's had a, a one college snap, you know. So like, that, that— but like, if they get healthy, if they stay healthy and Miami stays healthy, like, we are— that game in South Bend is going to be awesome. Fantastic. Uh, so let's hope for good health for everybody.

Who is their backup quarterback? I think Notre Dame leads the league in having backup quarterbacks that are like 5'8".

I was just reading freshman.

They always got a short backup quarterback.

Oh no, Italian.

Uh, no, he's actually pretty— he's tall. They got a freshman, uh, Noah Grubbs, who's 6'4". So there you go. Yeah, they actually have a very tall quarterback room.

Good for them. That's nice.

Yeah, no, no, you know what I mean?

They used to throw in a quarterback. Yeah, they just be like, wait, this guy's playing quarterback for Notre Dame? So yeah, they got a good— they got a good room. They got a nice tall room.

Uh, see, before, before Zach jumps in, you're ACC. Uh, I feel like there's, there's always one team that's like, you are—

you are literally ACC.

I think ACC, I, I I think Steve Stanford. Steve, just, just Steve.

Yeah.

A.C. Steve is what we call him. So if you— I'm looking at the ACC, it feels like every year there's one team that's not picked to be high going into the year that's very, very frisky. Maybe they're not finishing like, you know, in the top 10 or near the top 10, but they're capable of beating a top 10 team on any given night. Maybe they have one or two big upsets over the year. What team in the ACC outside Miami, because I think they're like -180 like we talked about to win the ACC, um, what other team in the conference do you think can maybe play spoiler or be in that conversation at the end of the year?

Uh, hmm, I can't say Cal. Uh, Virginia Tech.

You just did. You just said Cal, but Virginia Tech. Okay, okay.

James Franklin.

I think it's a great place for James Franklin. I think that, um, they're getting a lot of money invested into the athletic department. I think it's a perfect place for him.

I just like know fans of that team and like they're just starving for, for something. And then I, I read and like the guy they fired that was the head coach, Brett Pryor, Franklin brought him back. He's the defensive coordinator. He just got fired last year. Like, I love that Oh, only in college football. I mean, he was fantastic as a coordinator for Franklin at Penn State.

Coach O's on the LSU staff. It's great.

There you go.

Rich Rod's coaching West Virginia. It's like, yeah, you can always go home. You can always have it come back.

Yeah, there's a good point there.

It's beautiful. It's beautiful. Um, yeah, go ahead.

I got something for PFT.

Okay, okay. Urban Meyer to Florida in the spirit of forgive and forget.

Oh, nope.

Okay, uh, Nick Saban to Michigan State.

What's the Commanders' record after the first 3 games?

Okay, so first 3 games, we got, we got the Birds on the road. Yeah, I'm taking it one week at a time, so let me look up the Commanders' schedule here.

Okay, I'm just gonna give you this nugget. Okay, uh, they're the only team in the NFL that opens with 2 straight road division games.

Okay, all right, we go to the Eagles, then to the Cowboys, then home against the Seahawks.

I hate the opening in a division game. Sucks. I think they shouldn't do division games week one.

We're gonna be—

you gotta ease yourself into it.

A much different team by the end of the season, okay, um, than we are in week one. I'm gonna— you know what, that's gonna be interesting because we got Sean Mannion and he's going up against David Blough. We don't know what those offenses are going to look like. Two hot names, hot young coordinators. Like, expect some fireworks out of that one. Um, I think realistically, probably, probably 1-2 after the first 3 weeks. Why?

Okay, let's see what you think. Let's just say things go wrong and it's 0-3.

Yep.

Okay, I'm gonna give you some hope here. Here you go.

Yep.

Since this current division format in 2002, 112 teams have started 0-3. 2 have made the playoffs. Okay, so there's hope.

There is hope.

That's right. One point— that's 1.8% of those.

That didn't feel like you were giving me hope. That actually felt like the opposite. Like, if it happens, they're like, you're gonna go on 3, but then don't worry because it's almost impossible to make the playoffs if you go 0-3.

It's only the Texans too, because I think both those been my pinky teams.

Now it does— the schedule softens up a little bit after that, Steve, But I know, I think it's gonna be one of the two.

Don't— people are going crazy here, okay? Yeah, just relax, relax.

What, what's your take on, uh, on Jayden?

Keep him upright, it'll be fine.

Do you have, do you have any thoughts on, uh, his mom? His mom? Or, or numbers in general?

I've seen her out at practice.

Yeah, she's active. She's on the staff, loves watching ball.

She's, she's the Commander's Big Dom. Mm, I guess she actually might be more involved with the football.

Yeah, she's, she's definitely a Dom, trust me. Yeah.

Uh, all right, uh, Roback question. R-H-O-B-A-C-K.com, promo code TAKE, 20% off your first purchase. Q-zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts. Roback.com, promo code TAKE. By the way, Steve has, uh, already verbally agreed that week 3. What? You have verbally agreed week 3, Bears-Eagles at Soldier Field. Steve is going to be on the West Coast, I believe. Before that, he's going to come and watch a Sunday slate with us.

Oh, I love that.

He's got to work on Monday here in Chicago.

It'll be great.

You can't, you can't coward out of that.

As long as I'm there, yes.

You're gonna be—

what?

Yeah. Oh, you think the colonoscopy is not gonna go No, you're never going to wake up.

I'll be all right.

Text me when you wake up because I'll be thinking about that tonight. Like all night, just been like, why'd I say that?

And Steve, we're going to go to a Wizards game at some point this year, too. Courtside, feet on the wood.

This is the year.

Me and you.

Yeah. All right, Zach.

How we doing, sir? I did have a quick question with Tommy Castellanos, you know, inevitably hitting the portal to Texas Tech and Ashton Daniels being named the QB1 at Florida State. Their win total this year, I think it said, is 5.5 right now. Do you think they can supersede that, or is it going to be tough this season?

Florida State?

Yes, sir.

Yeah, I like the over.

Okay, that's huge.

I like the over.

Big for the program.

Yes. Gotta get— you gotta get it going somewhere. They don't have to go out to Stanford. I mean, their season was lost when they went out to Stanford last year and lost. Like, that was— you don't, you don't get back from that.

One of those wins could be against, uh, Alabama, Boston I don't think so.

Do you think one of those wins could be against Miami or Florida?

No.

Fair.

What about Stanford? What do you see out of Stanford football this year?

Uh, it's—

I like what they're doing. It's just, here's the deal, like we talked about LSU, how fast, right? There, there's whispers of just just south of $50 million on the roster. Okay, that's not happening at Stanford. It's a slower process. And like I said, the Miami game is not just to get out alive because I just don't like the matchup and what that sets you up against. We talked about what happens when you play after Georgia. It's going to happen a lot in the ACC. The week after you play Miami, you're going to be— you know, the roster is just not deep. I love what Andrew's doing. Uh, Tavita has done really well. They got, you know, quarterback with experience. They have experience on the offensive line and they have guys coming back on defense. So, you know, .500, go to a bowl game would be astounding to me. Last year was— I mean, what they look like against Hawaii and then they beat Cal the way they did. I didn't see that coming in a million years. So they're taking the right steps. It's an absolute ultimate place they have to be in the belief of developing players.

And I think there, there is that belief. So it's just, you know, it's tough when they do have these outliers that, you know, they go— David Bailey that just, you know, sees opportunity and is going to leave. That's going to happen. So hopefully you build a stronger foundation and it keeps going.

You guys have a lot of rich alumni. You guys start tapping into that money. You got, you know, I'm sure a lot of the crypto guys are— they've got Stanford connections, I'm sure. Like Tiger Woods, maybe he can contribute some money. Like, you guys are leaning on some of these guys. You have a very wealthy donor base.

Yeah. I mean, they've, they've, they've raised the money. The issue, and it's always been that, is getting the players into school there.

Yeah. It's like, oh, so smart. High school.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know, it is hard, dude. You sound like— what's— what was our fucking coach's name? Utah State. That guy was a fucking idiot. Oh, what was his name? I like memory hold him for 2 years. God damn it. God, Gary. No. Oh, fuck. Gary Anderson. Right. Was that it? I believe that was.

Yes.

To be fair, that's a very forgettable name.

Yeah. No, he was so— he was so bad. And he complained. He's like, I can't get my guys in.

It's like, dude, come on, start cheating.

This can't be that Like, we're not Stanford. No, like, like, figure it out.

Hey, Wisconsin got up off the deck last year.

Yes, I agree. Our defense can be good.

You gotta have some belief in that.

Colton Joseph, we'll see what we got. Week 1, don't freak out. Notre Dame's really fucking good.

Yeah, they will.

And we finally got a nice schedule in our favor because we've had just a gauntlet. Let's just, let's keep, let's keep a quarterback healthy and see where it goes.

The end of last year showed me something.

Yeah. Yeah, I agree. We got some dogs on defense. Uh, all right, Steve, go bowling. You're the best. Good luck tomorrow. Uh, wings on us when you come for week 3. We'll make up for it, all right? We'll make up for your lack of food tonight with week 3 wings.

Do you think I'm gonna have an issue with making up?

No.

And we'll make Titus eat some wings too and watch him and watch him go puke it up. He won't do it.

He'll like pretend to eat them and then just—

hey, one thing before we go It was great hearing Coach Gruden call a game last night.

Oh yeah, yeah, he's the man.

His voice is so fired up.

People forget he was so fucking good at TV.

He knew every single player on the field. Yeah, that's all I ask.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, he loves it, he cares about it.

Yeah.

Uh, all right, Steve, you're the best. Thank you, man.

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Okay, Mount Rushmore of emojis, uh, right now in the dual 1v1v1, we have, uh, what is the updating? So I have the updated standings right here.

I don't know how I came in second on Friday. I thought I fucking crushed that.

Oh, I was gonna say, dude, Zach submitted the worst draft.

I know.

Yeah, I still think that maybe maybe, maybe Coach Jack was a good pick.

I think Zach Braediger was just a hard start.

I think Zach's just maybe ahead of his time.

I think I just took master too literally because definitely mine, you could have mastered co-picks on there. No way guys are mastering overnight.

I think maybe it's almost like some of your picks I think would be better understood by maybe listeners of a different podcast, like maybe listeners of— maybe somebody that works on a different podcast would have a lot in somebody with you. Maybe a lady named Rudy. I don't know.

Hmm.

Where are we at for that?

Have you heard back from her or anything?

No, no, no.

Okay.

I don't think they do Rushmore season.

Okay.

What did you say?

I don't think they do.

I think everybody does Rushmore season.

Yeah.

Okay. PFT has 6 points. Zach has 4. Hank has 3.

Going on the road this week, though. That's huge for me.

Yeah, you are a road dog. Uh, PFT has the first pick for Mount Rushmore of emojis. He tried to trade it with Hank. Yeah, I did, unsuccessfully.

I don't, I don't love having first pick in this draft.

It is a tone setter pick. It is, yeah, because it feels like whatever you're about to say, they're gonna say good pick, or they're gonna be like, what?

Yeah, what? Why?

Yeah, oh shit, that's not even on my board. Okay, um, I also want to just say, PFT, I defend you in this because I feel like like, as, uh, the elder statesman of this podcast, we are, we are less emoji.

You—

we have less emoji usage. So you're playing with on a curve. I'm judging you on a curve. I'm going to give you the best.

That's fine. So I'm gonna, I'm gonna stay true to my game and true to my heart, and I'm not going to try to relate or be anybody that I'm not. So I'm going to stick with the ones that I use, and, uh, we'll go with those. So first overall, I'm gonna go with I'm going to go with the eyeballs.

Which ones?

The one that's like two eyeballs, two eyeballs looking to the side a little bit.

This one.

That's the one. Yeah, I agree with that because that could mean anything.

It's a great pick.

It leaves the recipient of the emoji curious, to say the least.

Mm-hmm.

And if you just tweet out the eyeballs, then people, they start to talk.

Yep. I like that.

Yep.

It's a good pick.

Thank you.

Would you have it on your board?

Of course I didn't.

I actually didn't.

Goddamn it.

But that's a good pick. I should. I should.

Okay. So you have a bad draft.

I could.

Okay.

Hank, wait, no.

Zach.

Yeah, we go counterclockwise.

That's right.

Yeah, I believe so. With the second pick, I'm going to take the skull emoji.

Oh, great pick.

Dead.

Got him.

Dead.

That's a good one.

Kill.

Yeah, I always send that. People die a lot online. It's concerning. Like any, any moderately funny joke.

Oh, I'm dead. Yeah, it's kind of like what guys used to text. LOL. Even though, you know, they weren't like—

Yeah, yeah.

Now, are you guys judging these? Are you guys— Well, are you picking just texting emojis or is it also social media?

It could be social media.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because like, obviously there's some things that you use for social media. That you wouldn't use for texting. Hank, you have 2 picks.

I'm going to go with the crying laughing emoji.

Okay. Just the old classic.

Classic.

Not like drowning in laughing.

No, no, that's a crying, crying.

Yeah.

Crying laughing.

That's crying. Crying. Yeah. Yeah, you're doing crying.

And then I don't know if I play defense here.

Oh, can you play? Okay. I'm not going to—

I'm—

I just really want to know what's going on.

I know. I know exactly what pick he's thinking about right now when he says there's two.

Yeah, there are.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

I'll take it. I'll take the peach emoji.

Okay. Okay. All right. Good pick.

That's the less horny of them.

Yeah. Good pick. I had that one.

Zach, good picks, Hank.

Yeah, it was great picks, Hank. I'm going to take the upside down smiley face emoji.

Oh, okay.

What?

Okay. Walk me through that one.

When do you use that?

Super versatile. I think, I think there's guys out there that use it for—

and what do you use it?

So tell us how you use it.

Just in conversation.

Just like in there. In what conversation?

Give us a—

I don't know.

Like, is that like you get left on read and like—

No, no, no, no. But usually like a— like something mis— like if you're typing something out, it's misfortunate.

Zach, is it like, like, oh man, I slept in. Sorry, I'm coming as fast as I can. Upside down face.

I would never use an emoji in that text thread.

Would it be like, not—

but hey guys, yes, but no, I'll catch up at hole 11. Had 2 hot dogs, hamburger and jalapeño poppers.

Got diarrhea.

Maybe we put that on there.

That's okay. All right. All right.

Wait a second. The lady only gave me 2 transfusions. I got to go back for the other one. Yeah.

Okay. Another great example why you use it.

Okay.

You send it to the PMT chat. I don't even know which one it is.

I can text it.

Yeah, text it so I can see it. All right, PFT, you have 2 picks.

Okay, I'm going to go with a fire emoji.

Good pick.

Fire emoji could— could mean anything. Could be like, yeah, that's an awesome song that you put out. Out. Yeah, it could be like, I really like that shirt that you're wearing. Yeah, I really like those shorts that you're wearing.

Like it.

I really like that dress that you're wearing. Like, if you're a fan of clothing and style, I feel like you— I'm a real big fan of, uh, the whatever lace thing that is that you're wearing. A lot, a lot of uses for the fire. Um, so we're gonna go fire emoji, and then we're gonna follow that up I'm going to go with the snowflake emoji.

Hmm.

I like the snowflake emoji a lot. I think that's a good one.

That's one you use a lot. That's what you said in Chicago.

Yeah, all the time. Like the winter's here. You got to be kidding me.

It's cold.

It is cold.

A lot. Yeah. Crazy. That's how this— I mean, night one, Part of my take decides to do a show together.

Snowflake.

Snowflake emoji.

I don't know if they had emojis then.

Yeah, we might have invented them.

Yeah.

All right, Zach, you take the purple demon emoji. Okay.

You're on demon time.

Purple demons.

Now you're back. Upside down smiley face was a— was a big miss.

Some would say some niche, some not.

Purple.

There's so many demons.

Really good.

Yeah, there's so many. There's a lot.

Fuck. I don't know where to go with this. I don't know where to go with this.

Big heavy hitters.

I know.

I know. I know. I know. I know.

Like, probably my most used emoji is on there still.

Yeah.

It's not the—

So right now I have crying laughing. I have the peach.

Yeah.

I will go— I will go with the one that I use a lot. I'll stay true to myself as well. I'll go with the handshake emoji. Okay, that one, that one's just easy. React to a message, handshake emoji. Or like someone says, you know, instead of— you don't have to say like thank you or whatever. Like someone texts you something, you can just say— I'll go— I actually won't reveal the other one, but just handshake emoji.

Easy one.

Really good. And then I have one more, huh?

Yeah, yeah.

Damn, that's how it works. There's 4 on Mount Rushmore, Hank.

Uh, fuck.

It's really killing you, huh?

You got to do 4.

Yeah, this is hard.

Got 3.

Poop emoji.

OK, yeah, it's a good classic. It's Peter King's favorite one.

Yeah, this is tough.

This is tough. This is tough.

You and PK, you do send that, especially when it's like, where are you, Hank? Yeah, you'll send that.

OK, I'm going to take the sideways crying laughing emoji.

OK, a lot of variations on that.

You just like—

that's lame. Zach.

OK, PFT.

What are you going to say?

I don't— I don't even know. These are— oh no, that's actually not bad. OK, never mind. Never mind. I take back my—

that's a good one.

That's a good one. That is a good one. That means you're laughing more.

Yep.

That's— that's— that's Hank's butt.

Well, I could have done that with the skull. Whatever.

What?

There's multiple skulls. There's multiple crying emojis. That's all right, Zach. That's all right.

Oh, you think he's— this is a lava lamp situation?

Hey, hey, is it a different emoji? It's—

no, it's— I'm saying, I, I, I, I—

whatever you said.

Which skull did you pick?

You can definitely pick the one with—

oh, I can't. I died.

Which one did you pick? The skull?

I just picked the one on the right side.

Wait, wait, you picked the one that— the actual skull?

Yeah.

Yeah, that was wrong.

I didn't, I didn't know there was a variation here.

Yeah, you got to go to the crossbones.

Yeah, I didn't know there was a different— we were out of variations. I thought we all knew there was— my bad.

No, I know there's variations. I'm just saying it's lame.

I think—

but it's, it's, it's, it's, it's a unique emotion. Do not break the rules. I, I just think—

I'll say this in Zach's defense, those are two different reactions. If someone sends the, the straight up one one, that's funny. If someone says the sideways one, that's fucking like so funny. That is a difference.

Do you not agree?

No.

Okay. Do you guys agree in the booth?

There's different use cases for them for sure.

No, there's not. PFT, you have your last one.

I still—

there's a couple.

Yeah, there's— I mean, there's a lot out there. I'm kind of regretting going Snowflake because there's just— it's such a strong board right now. Okay, last one. Great value, I think, in the 4th round. Thumbs up.

Okay, thumbs up. I hate getting thumbs up. The thumbs up, it triggers me when I get thumbs up.

Thumbs up. I see. The thing is, when I send a thumbs up emoji, I actually mean like thumbs up. I mean, yeah, I can't believe—

I wish I took 100. The one—

yeah, 100.

The one that I use all the time that didn't get picked is the teeth one that when someone says something, the yikes. Yeah, the, the yikes, the yikes face.

What's the yikes face? Oh yeah, that one.

Yeah.

Well, so there's one that I thought I'd use that a lot.

Yeah, but I— because you say a lot of yikes.

It's true.

There's, there's one that I thought about using it. I don't think it's top 4 for me right now, but it's a strong—

it's also an 8-ball emoji. PFC, you could just take that.

I mean, whoa, whoa, whoa.

He's talking about snow.

I'm talking about Chicago. You like to play pool?

I'm talking about being here in Chicago the wintertime. There is a strong, like, up-and-coming emoji.

No one took the—

that I think should be here maybe next year, if you ask me. The melting face emoji. Yeah, I like the melty face emoji.

I like the hands up.

Yeah, I like that one too. I like the girl. I do the girl though.

Yeah, the hands up or the—

or the like if someone gives you a compliment and you do the like half hand up.

Just the simple green checkmark.

Mark.

I use that. I had that.

You hit bets and stuff.

The puke emoji. Green face puke.

Yeah, I, I use— this is just for— I think most men probably use it, uh, when talking to their significant other, but the, the heart eyes. Yep, heart eyes.

Definitely.

I was getting— I was—

you get points for that. That's a good play. The heart eyes.

The red siren.

Red siren is good. The alarm.

Yeah, yeah, red siren is, is really good.

The, the water drops.

What about the Italian hands?

Why do you use the water drops?

Italian.

The water drops. The grapefruit.

Do you have leaks in your apartment?

Yeah. For like, you're sweating.

Yeah.

The badger.

Never use that one. The golf emojis. There's a couple.

Oh, you use golf emojis?

The American flag. If I was going to pander.

Yeah. Why the buddy pregnant?

Yeah. Is that even an emoji?

I just saw it. Yeah, it's in there still.

This one I wouldn't put on my Mount Rushmore, but it actually might be on the Mount Flushmore. The face talking, you know, when someone tries to make a point online.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's Mount Flushmore.

Yeah.

Like, speak on.

It's so fucking annoying. Yeah. Acho would probably use that. Yeah. What else?

A monkey covering his eyes.

Yeah, that's a good one. That's the prayer is up one, like the hands together.

Yeah.

Oh, the girl one I use, Hank, is the hands on the face. The— oh, that one's good. That one, that one is about the tree. Don't really use the tree.

Hey, the tree.

Nope. I use the surfing, the waves, wavy.

Oh, you guys ever get into the popcorn one?

No.

Popcorn is pretty fun.

No one used eggplant, huh?

No, no.

I guess it wouldn't be a guy thing.

The puzzle piece.

Yep.

Puzzle piece.

A strong one.

The football emoji.

Yeah, I should.

Yeah, no, but I don't do football emojis. I do pictures of footballs.

No, but I'm saying like in text, I'll use a football emoji.

I just send a picture of a football.

The weightlifting one when I'm in the gym all those times.

For sure.

It's like, hey, sorry, can't respond.

But I can respond with this emoji of me in the gym, the stacks of money and the bank emoji when I'm, when I'm very wealthy.

The girl that lives in New York and L.A. and has a plane in between.

Yeah.

Oh, plane emoji is a good one. Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

I always like to send, I always like to send the on top soon, but that's like 3 emojis on top.

On top soon. Booked and busy.

Oh, wow. Nice. Hank on top soon. Yeah, I like that.

I was just, I was thinking about booked and busy the other day.

Probably because you saw someone say that.

No, definitely not. Definitely, definitely.

I'll fucking look it up on Instagram right now. I'm sure there's a million times.

What are the pin? Yeah, good call, Zach.

Oh, that looks like a lollipop to me. I'm fat.

Oh, is it a lollipop?

I don't know. I like thumbs down more than thumbs up.

I—

because that, that hurts when you give someone a thumbs down. What about just like, boom? Thumbs down in the chat. I said, I said Italian, Italian hands. Shane, Shane went like this.

Did you— do you know what Joe Burrow's girlfriend's— no, book is called?

I don't.

Pardon my book?

Booked and Busy.

No way.

When did it come out?

Oh, the middle finger. That's a good call. Yes, you got to have that. There's the salute.

The salute. Yeah, good one. That was, that was the one. So usually that's usually like instead of like responding with words, I will just do handshake, salute, handshake. Like if to confirm something, like we're on the same page or like I appreciate you saying something, like just handshake, salute, handshake.

I mean, Memes had a good one. The cat that is doing the hands on the cheek. Oh my God.

Face.

That's a good one.

Good Mount Rushmore, boys. I don't even know which way this is going to go. I feel like you guys all had 3 solid picks.

I think the graphic—

yeah, it's 100. 100 was a miss, but I feel like 100 hasn't— it's been falling off recently.

I—

yeah, that's where it's like, I, I use that a lot.

Who—

yeah, but it might not be the most popular.

All right, good show. We're gonna be at camp. Get ready for camp. Um, oh, by the way, I'm, I'm, I'm back on burgers. I had 12 last week.

Oh, right.

What's that?

It's a lot.

What's that? What's that, Hank?

That's so many burgers.

23 away.

What'd you have on the off day?

Salad, actually.

Good move.

My body was like craving something other than meat.

I needed—

I ate a peach.

Even—

would you count a cheeseburger salad?

No, no, fair. Absolutely not. Yep. Got to put up another 12 I got to go to— I got to go 3 weeks in a row. 12.

That's crazy.

Is it 2 weeks?

2 weeks left. 23.

Yeah, it's tough.

It's tough, man. Tough, man. I had— I had 4 on Thursday. I want to say that was— that was a lot. That was Friday was a salad. It's nice.

Hey, are you just looking up Booked in Business?

And there's—

it's everywhere.

Everywhere you look, it's taking over.

All right.

All right, numbers. 5.

Uh, nope, can't do that. 27.

3.

7.

5. Oh, someone take it.

Yeah, can't do it.

Uh, 55.

63.

29.

69. 69 for Cole.

Here we go. 5.

Let's guess what Max would have picked. 22. It's gonna be 22. Oh, that was so stupid, memes. I don't even know why I said that.

That counts, by the way, for Max. Yeah, it's a long one. What do we got?

87.

Oh, 87.

Oh, 13. 13. No one?

All right, happy birthday to Jared Fogle and Arian Foster, my good friend Arian. Yeah, it's Arian's birthday. What about the first guy? Oh, forget about him. Arian, it's his birthday. I, I actually have a birthday present for Arian that I'd like to say. You guys tell me what you think. Um, the meanest thing that somebody did to Arian is if you look, literally look up in the dictionary on Wikipedia the word fumble, the picture for fumble on Wikipedia is a picture of Arian Foster, which is a pretty mean thing. Yeah, I, I only think he fumbled like a few times, handful of times in the NFL. Kind of messed up that he is actually literally the encyclopedia definition. Maybe just somebody change it to like if you look up atheist, have it be Arian Foster. That would be nicer. But also maybe change the fumble for one day. You can change it back later. Happy birthday to Arian and Jared Fogle. Happy birthday to Henry Lockwood.

There's another one.

Yeah. The 55th mayor of Charleston.

Oh, nice.

Henry Lockwood.

Fuck yeah.

Happy birthday to Vince McMahon. Cal Ripken Jr., Dave Chappelle, Reggie Miller. And, uh, then on Tuesday, happy birthday to Blake Lively and Rachel Ray and Billy Ray Cyrus. Great, great dad. What's that, memes? Said what a combo. Yeah, love you guys. Oh, also Jeremy Lin, happy birthday.

That's my fucking guy.

Yeah, that one was for you, memes.

Thank you. Love you.

And Kobe, happy birthday, homie.

It's pretty good.