Transcript of Max Strus, Training Camp Updates, The Dodgers Situation Gets Weirder, Mt Rushmore of Things We Could Master Overnight + Fyre Fest

Hey, Pardon My Take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. What happens when you lock 18 co-workers in an office for one week to compete for a quarter million dollars of cash? This is Surviving Barstool Season 5, presented by Rumble Premium, where each episode releases 3 hours early. So get it ad-free before anybody else, only when you join Rumble Premium. New episodes of Surviving Barstool will be released every Sunday and Wednesday leading up to the Labor Day finale on September 7th. You can watch Surviving Barstool at 5 PM on Rumble Premium and everywhere else at 8 PM Eastern. On today's part of my take presented by DraftKings, we have Max Struess in studio.

Clipper, Clipper.

Unfortunately, we recorded with Max Struess on Tuesday. He got traded on Wednesday. We did address with him that the potential of him being traded was on the table. But awesome, awesome interview with Max Drews. He's just one of those guys.

Just—

he's a regular guy who has really, really good looking guy, really, really good looking, who happens to be awesome at basketball and make a ton of money playing it. So great interview with him. We're going to do the Mount Rushmore of things you think you could master overnight, skills you think you could master overnight. We're going to say goodbye to Max for 2 weeks. We have some national sports podcasts. Oh, oh, what was that face, Hank? What?

Just looking at him.

Well, I mean, what was the look? You looked at him. What?

I'm ready to get away from.

OK, all right. We'll get into all that. We have Fyre Fest.

He's getting married again.

It's great.

You can get another wedding.

It's a great Friday show for you. It's all brought to you by Twisted Tea. Well, it's officially the dog days of summer and Twisted Tea is our go-to For cooling down when it's heating up, when it's hot, you know I'm reaching for something ice cold. Twisted Tea is the perfect drink for lake days, beach days, backyard grilling, and all the good stuff summer has to offer. Twisted Tea is a refreshing hard iced tea made with real brewed tea and 5% alcohol, full of flavor and very refreshing, goes down smooth. There is no carbonation, which makes it easy to drink all day long, whether it's hitting the course for a round, pre-gaming a ball game, or inviting the guys over for some backyard grilling. Twisted Tea is always there to keep the good times rolling. Grab a refreshing Twisted Tea today. Twisted Tea, we love it. Uh, it's perfect for summer, so go get that Twisted Tea today. Finish out summer strong. Okay, let's go. Welcome to Pardon My Take, presented by DraftKings. The crown is yours. Today is Friday, August 21st, and we got to say goodbye to Max.

See you later, Max.

This can't be leading.

This has to lead. This has to lead. What else would lead? Okay, I'll do a different opening.

Little League World Series kid hit a tank.

Well, all right, go ahead, tell us, tell us.

The kid from New Jersey had a walk-off homer in the extra innings of— actually, I don't think it was extras. I think it was just bottom of the 6th of Little League World Series. Pimped the hell out of it, was doing the Vince Carter, it's over, rounding the bases. Absolute aura farming from that kid from New Jersey.

All right, that's how you—

he's no Big Al. Big Al may be the best player in the history of the Little League World Series.

I'll say something. I'll start with this. It's bullshit that Labor Day is September 7th this year. This year. It is really fucking me up. I feel like we should be— I feel like we should have college football, like, not Week 0, but actual Week 1 should be next weekend, and we're still 2 weeks away.

Actual Week 1 next week would be great. It is a very— it's a super late Labor Day. I don't know about where you guys come from, but where I come from, they, they were not allowed to open schools until after Labor Day.

My kids are going back to school, uh, Monday.

Yeah, it's crazy.

Yeah, and summer's over in my head, so where's the football?

Some places start in August, uh, but you were not because of theme parks in Virginia, you were not allowed to open schools before Labor Day weekend.

So it should be. Yeah. So I'm wrestling with that where it's like summer feels over, but we still have golf to do. We still have other things to do. Max still has 2 weeks of vacation, which will go around. That was the lead of the show, Max. We're saying goodbye to Max.

Well, we did a very— it's a very mean thing at Barstool Sports. I think you technically have unlimited vacation days.

Yep.

That always means you know what that means.

Can't take any?

Can't take it.

So I— there's some training camp stuff we can talk about.

Oh okay, let's talk training camps.

The Patriots-Eagles joint—

Let's call this Around the League!

All right, around the league.

Uh, Jalen Hurts first down 25 interceptions, uh roughly how many? And AJ Brown has scored—

Wait wait wait wait wait wait walk back what does that mean?

Roughly by my estimations.

Okay, by my calculations total of like every training camp practice or no just just in the last 2 days I was told then training camp, you want— you want to throw.

Yeah, interceptions.

But not 25.

No, no, no, no, you can't have it both ways.

No, I'm just reporting. I'm just reporting.

Oh yes, you can. We are very clear.

That's a good thing then.

Like, less—

that's good. Agreed. According to this podcast, it's good to throw interceptions.

Yeah, there's a flag on the play. Wrong, Max. Listen, no training camp interceptions, that's bad. 25, roughly.

Roughly is, is a big word there.

It's not really strong.

I think it's 5 6 letters bigger than your name.

It's true.

Wow.

Not my last name.

Your name's PFT.

Your name's—

your name's first, middle, last. First, middle, last.

Your name is not even Max.

It is.

We get into that with Struce in a little bit.

Yeah, it's not my first name.

Zach doesn't get enough credit for having his initials be his name. That's such a baller move.

It is very cool.

Yeah, that's so cool.

Shout out to my mom.

Yeah, shout out to Zach's mom.

She did that.

She did that.

Well, She might, knowing, knowing you and your family, she might not have known that she spelled that way.

She can spell.

Okay.

She can spell.

All right.

So 25 interceptions in practice.

Yep. And then my stats department just sent me this. So far, AJ Brown has scored 1 TD in 1-on-1s, 3 TDs in 2-on-2s, 1 TD in 11-on-11s. All TDs have been with Quinian Mitchell in coverage. So that's just around the league.

Oh, so he's cooking Quinian Mitchell.

Cooking.

Is that true?

A couple of them are up for debate.

A couple—

what are the debates of whether his feet were in bounds or not?

Oh no, Max, that's cope.

I, I also—

all right, let's go to our next segment. When we debate, we— it's—

this is what I'm gonna say.

It's Embrace Debate: Was It a Touchdown or Not? Training Camp Edition.

Let me—

let—

this is what I'm gonna say. I'm opting out of all training camp updates for the rest of the summer because if training camp has any indication, the Eagles are going to be bad this year. You know what, opting out, Max.

I again, you have to take your headphones off for this one. This is my rule. This is my Max rule. I really hate the disrespect that Jalen Hurts is getting this preseason.

Yeah, it's bullshit.

I fucking hate it.

It's bullshit.

I would, I would much rather have everybody sucking his dick, being like, he's a great quarterback. This offense looks incredible. The fact that everybody is doubting him, that's— I think that that's very, very bad for me as an Eagles hater. I feel like he's about to go off this season. Max, you put your headphones Back on, Max. Put it back on.

Put it back on, Max.

So, 25. So many interceptions.

So many.

Holy shit. That guy sucks.

He's opting out. Yeah. Does that have anything to do with the fact that you're going on vacation for 2 weeks right now?

Well, yeah, that'll be a lot easier to opt out. I want to— it's a honeymoon, by the way. It's not a 2-week vacation.

A 2-week sex vacation.

Yeah.

Wow.

Way to dunk on us, dude.

Wow.

So it's not really a vacation. You're just going to be having sex the whole time.

I'm sorry, it's just a honeymoon.

I'm sorry, Max, that doesn't count as vacation. You're right. Uh, I, I am— I'd like to opt out of training camp updates as well because every time I open up the internet, it's something else bad about my team.

Well, and it's injuries. Like, everyone just keeps getting injuries. The Texans lost their, uh, Jaden Higgins in for an ACL. Like, that's— they have no receipt. They, they just every year they're like, hey, what if we just don't have receivers and the ones we do have will get hurt? He was going to be their second receiver. It sucks. Training camp. That's my— that goes back to my first point is Labor Day's too late. Football should already have started. Just get us there.

And I want like in the, in the games this weekend, I want the Commanders to play like no starters whatsoever. But then Dan Quinn's like, we got to get ready for competition. We're going to be playing a lot of starters this weekend. Things are so bad in D.C. that there was speculation that our running back, Rashad White, that we got from Tampa in the offseason, this might have hurt his foot. Yeah. Doing an ice bucket challenge. I saw that where like the whole team was doing the ice bucket challenge for, for Chris Johnson. Great cause. And I encourage people to donate for ALS research. But he did the ice bucket challenge after practice with a bunch of teammates. He got up and tried to run away after he got iced. And on his first step, his foot landed awkwardly and he hasn't practiced since then. I'm told he might be practicing today, which would be great. So maybe he's not actually hurt. But, you know, things are bad for your team when, when they're injuring themselves potentially doing charity challenges.

Yeah.

And Zach brought up a great point last night. Zach, Zach was like, well, how do you, how do you recover from an injury that was caused by ice? Like, that might be traumatic for him now. That might be a trigger. I use more ice to put ice, but he is— he's not going to want to see that.

He's not going to want to feel it.

Yeah, he doesn't. He's scared of ice now.

He's got to work that out with a therapist and a cold tub, probably.

Yeah. We also— I'm trying to think of what other stories we have. Oh, Hank is a piece of shit and has ruined the NFL.

That's true. That's a good story.

Yeah, that's a— that's our second down. Dude, Hank is a piece of shit and he's ruined the NFL. Roger Goodell has said that he is fully planning on having a team permanently abroad. Then Florio— this was a combo, a rare combo. Hank and Florio tag team match because Hank's been just begging Roger Goodell to, to create an international, uh, team. But then Florio said that it's going to be a— like, in the future it's gonna be a 40-team league, and there's going to be an Eastern and Western Conference. And the Eastern Conference will have, uh, London— I think it was London, maybe Spain and Germany, like European teams. And the Western Conference teams will be in Australia, Japan, Malaysia. It pretty much is just everyone's nightmare. And you fucked us all.

That's some elite fan fiction from Florio.

Okay, well, you—

he's the GOAT.

You did that. I got to find—

I got to find the Malaysia. I'd like to go ahead and—

it was incredible.

I'd like to fade the Malaysia Magic or whatever they're gonna be called. I feel like that team's going to suck. There's just some countries that won't— will never have successful football teams.

All right. It was—

what are we supposed to do? Like, the one thing that we have, as bad as things can get in the United States, we can always tweet out the graphic that we have all the Super Bowls.

All right, here it is.

Uh, and we even have a— we get a Gray Cup more recently than Canada has a Stanley Cup.

I think we're going to have 40 teams playing 20 games with no preseason. That's where this is headed. That's from Mike Florio. Um, I need to find these— I need to find these Western Conference teams. But Hank, well, address it because you're a piece of shit.

I mean, Roger Goodell is trying to grow the game, get, get more eyeballs on, on our favorite sport, all of our favorite sports. Uh, I think it's great for, for us, and I think it's great for the league. Again, like, I'm looking big picture here. I'm looking at our fans and the potential for growth. It's great. You're gonna get football at all hours, all the time. We love football. We want all the football. You guys say that nonstop for 10 years. More football, the better. And this is that opportunity.

We want good football though.

What if they do like an NFL, you know, the Western Conference or whatever is the international conference plays in the offseason for the chance to make a real NFL, like that real NFL.

The only way—

and use that football all the time.

I could see, here's what maybe we could do. Maybe there's like an entire international division of the NFL. And then the winner of that plays against, I don't know, like one of the teams that lost in the conference finals in, and that's— or they play against a Pro Bowl team.

I can't find—

how about that? How about the— that's the new Pro Bowl, is the winner of that plays against an all-star team, and the winner, uh, gets one year faster free agency. Hank?

Yeah, I think, I think more football is good. I think, I think more football, more countries, it's good for us, it's good for the league.

Not more countries, more football. Yes. All right, I'm calling Flurry real quick because I gotta see if he's got Malaysia on this This is some crazy—

there was one, there was one thing that Goodell said.

Why is Colson Loveland trending? Is that good or bad?

It's never good.

Unguardable.

He's unguardable.

Fucking awesome. He's unguardable. I'm opting into training camp.

You don't want to have him unguardable.

And that's from an unbiased Caleb Williams fan club Twitter handle.

Yeah, you don't want to have your guy trending right now.

There's literally there's nobody guarding him.

It's—

yeah, oh yeah, he's unguardable, bro.

All right, there's no defense.

All right, all right, I'll just have him text me the list.

All right, well, it's because he put the guy on skates so hard that he's not even in the picture anymore. He juked him out so hard he didn't even show up to practice.

It's a drill where there's no defense.

All right, there is a quote from Goodell. So he did this interview with a former NFL player named Marcus Coon. And I don't know if that's any relation to Jon, but it was an interview with him about growing the game. And there was one thing that he said that at least we can take some solace in this if we're anti-internationalism. I'm an isolationist when it comes to the NFL.

Same.

We got plenty of— make American football great again is what I say. He said there are definitely international cities that could host a Super Bowl, but we would like to see an NFL team in such a city first. So that tells me that we're still maybe a long ways away from having hopefully an international Super Bowl.

I just don't want any of this, Hank. You ruin everything.

But he also said that— or I guess his vice president of club business— that's a great job title, by the way— Peter O'Reilly said that an international Super Bowl is not a front-burner issue as of now. OK, so it's not front-burner. It's like in the oven. It's baking.

It's just—

yeah.

Oh, like a long-term bake.

It's going to need— it's, it's, uh, we're smoking a brisket.

Yeah.

It's like a roast.

Yeah. Well, yeah, but maybe that's how that's, that's what they're saying. But what is a front burner issue is getting an international team. Hmm.

Oh, here we go. He replied. So it's, it's like London, Munich, all those, and then Brazil, Mexico, Australia, Japan. This guy, Florio, all over the map, loves this shit.

All over the map.

He loves this shit.

Those are fun cities.

Well, some of them are not. Some of them are countries.

Yeah. Fun.

Actually, they're all countries.

Yeah, actually. Yeah. All, all four of them. Brazil, Mexico, Australia, Japan. Those would be countries.

Fun countries.

You're supposed to be our foreign correspondent. Are you guys ready for third down?

I think. Yeah, I think Hank might. Maybe we should send him to do some fact-finding in all those countries.

Yeah.

Nah, that'd just be a vacation.

Yeah, you don't want that.

You don't want to do that.

All right, third and long.

Downside, offsides.

Uh, this Mark Walter shit is crazy. I did a little more reading.

Yeah, and explain it to me.

Okay, he basically has just been taking out loans from his own business and running like a, uh, not a Ponzi scheme— this is all alleged obviously as well— but he's— this just basically been fun money where he, he doesn't have this money and, and everyone has spent— and I, I think myself included, I probably said it. You can probably find a clip of me saying that, like, I wish— I, I know I said that I wish that Mark Walter was the owner of the Cubs because he would just spend money, and everyone's mad that they spend money that they don't have. Turns out he had— he's been spending money that he doesn't have, and I feel like he might have to sell the Dodgers because he's got a check for like $20 billion coming due that he might not have, and that's why he's like ripping off sales of his assets.

And then also, uh, Ishbia has like a margin call coming, right? Yeah, that's different because Ishbia was like, he might not have the money to cover it.

Yeah, he's— he didn't do anything nefarious in the way that what Mark Walters is being alleged for. Ishbia, like, his, his business took a downturn, you know what I mean? Yeah, like, that's when he bought the Suns, he had, he had the financials. Mark Walters, if this is true and he was basically doing like white-collar crime to buy championships. I, I honestly think it might be worse than the Astros.

He should just say it was his interpreter that did it. Yeah, that would probably be a good way for him to get out of this.

It would be good. But I really do think it could be worse because like he is crazy. What has been the biggest problem with baseball is everyone's like, the Dodgers are buying championships. And then what has been the response? And again, I've said the response of like, it's not our— it's not their fault that they have an owner that wants to spend money and wants to invest and win championships. Well, now, if it— if we find out that all the money was spending wasn't even there. Yeah, this is crazy.

So, so, Big Cat, I don't know about you or if anybody else here has seen this TV show, but for a few years I was obsessed with the TV show American Greed.

Okay.

Ever watch that?

I'm familiar with it.

It's a great show.

Yes.

Basically, it's always like somebody that was doing some type of financial fraud, whether it's like a financial services provider, some sort of insurance agent. And they develop this book of business and they end up spending all the money that they don't actually have. And the investments that come in from people that get— they send like fake invoices. Here's how your money's doing. But in reality, that money has been transferred. And the one hallmark of all these people is they spend a shitload of money on flashy stuff.

Yep.

And things to show off their wealth almost as a cover for the fact that they don't actually have that much money.

Correct.

This sounds a lot like the pattern of behavior that this guy is doing.

And I think he had some money.

Yeah, he did.

He just didn't have the money that he's spending.

Right. So he's spending all this money on all the players because no one's ever going to think that the guy that's spending 10 times as much money as everybody else is poor or might not have the money. And he's really just getting that maybe from his self-dealing.

Yeah. So here's, here's the Joe Pompliano kind of summed it up in a way I think we can understand. Walter owns an asset management firm and insurance companies. He uses premiums at his insurance companies to make loans to companies he owns. What are you doing, memes?

No, we're saying nobody actually has this kind of money.

Yeah, yeah, very— or at least very few people. All right, so he uses premiums at his insurance companies to make loans to companies he owns. This is usually okay, but you can't do it too often and you have to disclose it. Walter did it a lot and didn't disclose it. Now he's trying to unwind deals to pay back the loans because the Department of Justice is investigating him. The Lakers deal gets him a good chunk of the money, but he likely needs another few billion by year end. He can either raise money privately— Bloomberg says he is trying to do that by offering double-digit yields and using his personal stake in his asset management firm as collateral. Don't understand that.

You can never promise double digits.

None of those words made sense.

Don't understand that. Or sell off assets to make up the difference. It's tough to tell what will happen, But I think every option is on the table, including selling Dodgers, Chelsea, Sparks, PWHL, and his motorsports investment across NASCAR, IndyCar, and F1. He was giving himself loans and now he's got it. Now he's— now, now the check is due and he's like, fuck, I don't have this.

Yes, that's what I was saying when that report came out, that it was like he, he disclosed like $4 billion or $3 billion worth of like self-dealing.

Yeah.

And in reality, it's closer to like $25.

It's crazy.

So, yeah, so he's saying I can either sell people on investments and promise them double-digit returns, which really you can't really do for long term, or you're just going to have to sell everything. This— what if this guy was the unnamed investor that was thinking about buying LIV?

Hmm.

Because what do you get the man that has everything?

Yes.

He already owns the Lakers and the Dodgers. Oh, I know. An upstart. Excuse me, not an upstart.

Yeah.

An established, already here, world-class golf league.

Do you guys know that? That's a good point. We could connect all the dots. Are you going to LIV this weekend? Yeah, Friday. Fuck yeah. So everyone tune in wherever you turn in.

It's an end of live celebration.

Where do you tune in?

The live app.

Okay. Are you going to paint your chest?

I'm not going to paint my chest. I'll be aced up.

Okay. Paint your chest. That's a shrink move. Yeah, that is. That would be a big, big shrink.

Yes.

Yes. You got to—

does this kind of shrink in the game if live folds?

Well, I think they do it every, every week with their crowds. Yeah. All right. Back to Mark Walter, though. Uh, do you guys kind of agree with me? Like, I, I understand that the Astros, what they did was bad. This does feel on par, or maybe worse, that you, you essentially are just like— if it's true that he did not have any of this money and he just promised all this, this cash to guys and deferred money, um, to buy championship, that's crazy. That's crazy.

That is very bad for the league.

Yes, that's insane.

100%. If he's, if he's spending money that he— ill-gotten gains to win a championship and make the league less competitive, I think any any sort of goodwill that maybe the owners were riding on based on the Dodgers buying everybody in the upcoming, like, CBA negotiations. Now, people, if it's revealed that he is actually doing this type of bad stuff, people are going to be like, fuck the owners. We want to see all their books.

Yeah.

And what if this was— I know we've talked conspiracy theories, but I've thought about even more. And when I say thought about it, I read just a little bit more, a little, a couple more tweet threads, which they were too long. Like, this shit is It's way over my head. Never understand.

Go back to 140 characters.

Yeah. But what if, what if the rest of MLB owners, what if they all were in on this and the fact that they knew that he was basically playing with fun, funny money and like Monopoly money, but they're like, the ends justify the means in the fact that if the Dodgers keep buying these championships, the public opinion will say we need a salary cap and the owners will get that salary cap.

Yeah. So I was just saying, yeah, like the public opinion swinging back the other way. It's— yeah, it could be weird. It could be very— this could be like extremely impactful. I don't know the other owners of the Dodgers, and there's still some different ways that the Dodgers bring in money that, that other teams don't necessarily have the option to do. But this would be a major thing, like their— if their main owner was essentially committing fraud.

Yeah. To win championships. What are you going to say, Zach?

I was just going to say, I don't think— I don't know if any of the owners want them looking into this because if you're— if all these guys are making this much money, I don't think you can be the best guy to get to that kind of heights when it comes to the numbers in the accounts. I don't know if they want like a watchful eye over like, hey, let's dig deeper into the finances of these owners of teams.

Yeah.

Like, no, because if you can investigate it, I'm not— get out of my pockets. Like, stay away from us.

Yeah, they definitely don't want any sort of oversight.

I wouldn't think so. No. Yeah.

No, I have a question.

Yes.

Yeah.

So wait, so wait, time out, time out. You're still here? I thought you were on your sex vacation.

Stop saying—

stop saying that. 2-minute warning.

I would prefer all of that to be stopped. Um, the players are gonna be crazy next week when we're recording the podcast.

Yeah, happening. Like, Max is fucking right.

Wait, Max steps in. Time for the 2-minute drill.

I'm bringing— I'm bringing my microphone.

Um, oh, whoa. Okay. All right, you're recording it.

It's not funny, me. That's not funny. Okay, you know what, I have nothing to say.

No, no, we want your question because I love when you guys ask questions to 2 guys that don't really have answers, but we're going to talk about a We'll make it up.

The players are still going to get paid, right? Like, the money is going to come from somewhere. The players are still going to get their money.

I don't know about that.

I think—

well, he essentially took balloon payments out on players. So like, where does the money come from? It's just like, we're going—

well, I think if he goes bankrupt, they'll just like strip his whole companies and then people will have to get in line to see who gets paid back.

So then they get paid like in 100 years.

I don't know what happens a lot of times, I think. And again, I'm kind of making this up. Yeah, but some investors get paid back and the majority would not.

Yeah, you could put a lien on his house.

Yeah, like Bernie got an $85 million house when all that shit happened to Bernie Madoff. And say, say what you want about him, the man lived the high life for a long time.

They actually did, I think, end up getting a lot of those people's money.

Yeah, you can claw it back, but not, not everyone will be made whole.

Yeah.

Speaking about making holes, How excited are you, Max, for this vacation?

Uh, it's gonna be good. It's gonna be a good vacation. We got some good destinations lined up.

I bet you do.

All right, you want to go to fourth down and then we'll do Mount Rushmore?

Yeah.

All right, put the fours up. It's fourth down. Uh, I've been named an Akron, uh, a finalist for Akron football offensive coordinator. Oh, Hank, one of the crybabies. So when I saw this, my first question So yeah, okay, let me, let me answer. So I think people know last week, or, or maybe it's 2 weeks ago, Akron has done a contest where if you buy season tickets, you are put into a raffle, uh, and then the winner of that raffle will get to call one offensive series against Robert Morris for Akron's first home game of the season, which I think is September 14th or somewhere around there. Uh, you get to call one series, so I— they then did the sale. I bought 18 season tickets. I'm one of the 9 finalists.

Question.

Yes.

PFT comments are part of my Take Sports podcast.

Yeah.

Why 9 finalists?

That was my question as well.

There were 10 and one dropped out.

Oh, I know the chances of the 10th was me and that they said we can't have both Big Cat and Mac, so let's just make it 9.

No, I was talking to Dom about it.

Completely random.

I think You are such a troll. I will get to Freddie Lydon in a second. Max, I was talking to— I think it was one of those situations where the 10th person, and it could have been the second person named, they were called and they're like, ooh, I don't want to be like in public.

I don't want that smoke. Yeah.

Like, I don't—

because like, you fuck up that drive and there's going to be people calling for your head.

Right, right. So, oh, shit, I don't really want this. So that was— I had the same exact question. I was like, why 9? He's like, oh yeah, there was 10 and then it went down to 9. Okay, now I'll address Hank.

Well, it's true, by the way. I just put up the window with my fingers.

Yeah, but then you also said completely random with a face.

That's what they said.

Yeah. I was just telling them there was a face. Yeah, I can't confirm there was a face. I'm also a journalist here. I witnessed the face.

Yeah. Do you deny doing a face, sir?

Yeah, I said completely random.

Do you deny having a face?

No.

Okay. I rest my case. So what was your question?

I didn't have a question. I literally just said I just put up the Wind Horse fingers.

No, people are obviously saying it's rigged. I listen. I asked the first thing I said to Dom when he told me that I was one of the 10 finalists, now 9. I was like, how'd that happen? They're like, they did it with the accounting. Like, there's all these legalese behind it. You can't rig something like this. And I was like, well, I did buy 18 tickets. The people crying, they're losers because I don't really understand. Like, they should have bought 18 tickets. Also, Akron wants this for publicity.

Exactly. I think, I think the campaign—

why didn't Pat? Why didn't Pat McAfee finish in the top 10? Why didn't Jon Gruden? Like, there's a lot— there's other people of note who, who bought tickets.

I bought 2 tickets.

Max bought 2 tickets. I think, yeah, a lot of people bought 18 tickets.

I'd say probably the entire company. Purchase one season ticket, right?

So why didn't any of them win?

Because it's random. Only 9 people got picked.

10.

So how do they determine who's going to win from those 9?

I have no idea. I have no idea. Now I kind of— I want to win still very badly.

I mean, this whole thing is very— I also just like the entire promo and like the ins and outs of how it's going, like what Robert Morris is thinking about them giving away an offensive coordinator job for like for one series, how the offensive coordinator at Akron feels about this, how he'd feel about it if they scored on the first drive, how the team would look if like first play of the game, pick 6, fumble return for touchdown. Like the whole dynamic of having a random person. It's a great idea. Yeah, it's great for publicity. But then there's so much more stuff that like once you start unpeeling it, this whole thing could play out in a super interesting way.

Yeah. And I would love to listen. I love Max. I love Max. For a very long time. Uh, if I don't win, I'll still— I'm still gonna try to go to an Akron game. By the way, the, the 18 season tickets I bought, I think all the season tickets we don't use get donated to, uh, charity nonprofit Tickets for Kids. So that's cool. And yeah, the people complaining, I don't really know what to say to them because they are, uh, they're basically like— they just live to complain because they're, they're mad that, that like— I, I got it. I went a little back and forth with someone today where it was like a longtime Akron ticket season ticket holder should have won this. And I was just like, why shouldn't I win it?

I—

you did a raffle. Don't do the raffle if you don't want random people to enter.

Just do—

just give it to a longtime season ticket holder. But they obviously want people— they probably made a lot of money off this. They got a lot of exposure. Good for Akron. I think it's a great contest and I hope I win. And then I hope Shark will them to death.

Let's just let it play out. No, no sense in being be upset with the top 9. Like, you've been given the—

that's gonna be the funniest part. I'm gonna have to go back to all these people and like, what do you say now, you fucking idiot?

There should be a top 6. Next to the top 6, and then the top 4, and then reveal it on game day.

Yeah, but I'm excited. And I also said— I was, I was interviewed by two different places, uh, and I said that I'm bringing— they're like, who are you bringing with you? And I said, I'm bringing the entire PMT team. I don't know if Akron can afford having everyone from PMT on staff, but that's a non-negotiate. It's a big-time non-negotiate. I think we got to do fake Shark Wheel. This is good. This is good.

Putting a little misdirection. What do you think right now, Hank?

What do you think?

Shark Wheel? No, you got to do— you got to do 4 Shark Wheels.

4 Shark Wheels? What about 1 Shark Wheel? Fake Shark Wheel?

Fake punch Shark Wheel?

Fake punch Shark Wheel? What do you think, PFT?

I just do 4 straight fullback dives. Man football.

What are you looking at on your phone right now, Hank?

Nothing.

Shark Wheel. Fake Shark Wheel.

If you just take a knee for Jesus. What about a fake punt too?

I want to win. It'd be sick. Shout out Akron. I think it's a cool thing.

I really do.

I think it's a cool promo. What else is going to get Akron on the map?

Yeah, I mean, this, this promo already has, right?

Right.

So no matter who it is, if it's you, if it's somebody else, like it's going to be a talking point as well.

And not only that, if it's a random person, I'll be happy for that person. But I will say that if, if I win this, we will make content out of it and share it with everyone.

You know what I mean?

People will get to see some of the things behind the scenes and the cool shit we get.

And if it's not, I'm going to judge that, that offensive series just as harshly as I would judge the normal after an offense coordinator who, you know, we talk about that person all the time, whoever that is.

Yeah. And I will be immediately on the hot seat, right? Like, if I, if I fuck up, I'm never getting another job again.

Oh, yeah. I'm saying, like, yeah, no matter if it's you, if it's somebody else, like, we will evaluate, we will evaluate that person harshly. Yeah. In the job that they do. I will take that job very seriously as a journalist.

Okay. Do we have any other fifth down plus extra? Anything else?

We're going 5. We're going 5 downs.

The Penn State Coke story is awesome. We are reading about it.

Coked up.

Pledge Kamar.

Yeah.

And did you see that drop of the music drop? I'm too old to quote tweet something like that and be like, that fucking rocks. But they did a like an intro to an EDM song and it was the lead investigator being like, and, and the defendants transported like 3 kilograms of cocaine across state lines. And then the beat drops. It's fucking sick. That's like if you're a Penn State student, you have to be listening to that at a party this week.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's about to be Welcome Week.

Whiteout. If I know college kids, they're going to narc on each other.

Yeah.

Well, that's how it all started.

Yeah, they already did. It's about to be— it's about to be a race to see who can cut the best deal.

I guess one of the— the kid who narced, he was— they were just open Venmos. Getting paid open Venmos on his coke deals.

I love that.

Whoops.

They'll never catch us.

Whoops. OK, do we have anything else? I'm looking right now. Tugboat started. That was cool. Hoss is back.

I went on a rant about the Phillies last week and they've won every single game since.

And I made a bet I shared with you last night.

Yeah, I thought that— I thought we were keeping that in-house.

OK, we can.

Yeah.

All right.

All right. Yeah. From here on out, in-house.

OK. But if anyone wants to ride with Max and I, I bet the Phillies +475 to win the NL East in-house starting now.

So the Braves are going to collapse.

Well, I don't know.

I bet it and I couldn't not bet it.

I bet it because I went and looked at the schedule. Well, I was talking to Sanford Stephen. He mentioned he's like, take a look at this. And then I also was looking at the schedule. The Phillies and Braves play each other 7 times and then the Braves play the Cubs 3 times at Wrigley. And I was just like, oh, Cubs sweep. So I was like, there's 10 losses right there.

One problem is the Phillies can't beat a good team.

Yeah, that is an issue.

Max told me that after I put it.

Yeah.

So that was my fault.

Overtime.

Overtime.

Fernando Mendoza gives post-practice interview.

He's a weirdo.

Have you seen that?

Yeah.

I mean, he's got—

I like him.

I do, too. I do, too. But he's gotten weirder.

Yeah, definitely.

Like he is now fully— he is. He is now fully TED Talk.

Yeah, absolutely.

He talks like a hologram version of Gary Vee. Yeah, it was, uh, it's bizarre. You want to bring up the, uh, the post-practice interview that he did? And I like him and I hope he's very successful, but like the way that he talks sounds like he has typed this out in his head and spell-checked it already.

It is.

Go against the Texans defense, which is also a top defense in the league, go against them, be able to get some reps with the ones against the superstars on their defense. And then obviously their twos are fantastic as well.

We got so much work, whether it was move the ball, first down, third down, red zone, 2-minute.

There's so many situations, and I believe overall is a positive day. There were plays that I loved and plays that I wish I had back, but in reality that's a lie. I wish I didn't have it back because it's a growing experience and plot twist practice.

It's practice, and this is what I love.

And it's a beautiful day to play football here, and I'm so happy.

I have so many things to learn from, from I wish I had him back. Actually, check that. I'm glad I threw those interceptions because you learn more from a pick than you do from a touchdown. That's why Jalen Hurts is a genius this preseason.

Mm-hmm.

Absolutely. It's quite something.

I do. I love his interviews.

It's crazy.

I don't know. They seem like he's— it seems like he's talking just off the top of his head, but he is delivering them like, like you would expect your CEO to do. Yeah. On like an offsite fire the team up meeting. Yeah. Like he's looking at all the reporters. Almost like he's trying to inspire them.

Yeah, he has a lot of the, the, the Ballmer-like energy of, you know, we're dropping a new operating system and be excited about all these features.

Yeah, well, that he looks at training camp is like he's upgrading his own operating system in his head.

Wait till you see what I got Clippy doing on third down.

Yeah. Fernand 2.0.

Yeah.

Mendoza.

I'm a fan. I think he's going to be good too. I really do.

I hope so.

I think he's going to be good.

I just— Falcon double overtime.

Double overtime. So hit the Buffalo Wild Wings button.

Atlanta Falcons fans are having a time. They're not happy right now.

The quarterbacks are both lefties and bad, and they're—

they keep reporting. It's a rush to report every single bad pass that Tua makes. I think he had like 3 picks and a fumble in his last training camp practice. And Falcons fans are going through it right now. Yeah, they're not doing— they're not doing so well. And I feel bad for them in the division.

Vita Vey staying. In Tampa Bay. So congrats, Zach. Seems like things are coming back together.

Yeah, Jason Lighton, Vita Vey were chopping up at training camp after that, uh, 2 years, $48 million.

Love that, friend.

Love that.

Let's go. Thank you to the defense. Get paid, my man.

Yes. Uh, maybe, maybe we need to come up with a new word for demanding a trade. Just doesn't happen anymore. Yeah, it feels like it used to mean something when you demanded a trade. Now they just demand a trade and then they're like, oh, new contract.

You used to like invite reporters over to your house, take your shirt off, and do sit-ups in the driveway.

But I actually think there should be like rule that you, you can ask for a new contract, you can say you're unhappy, but the minute you demand a trade, you're no longer allowed to play for that team. You can't get— you can't be like— you have to either sit out a year. You can't demand— demanding a trade should be like, oh no, that is serious.

What did he— because this is the, the flowchart for NFL disgruntled NFL players. It's like you hold, you hold in, that's the first one, then the holdout, then you request a trade, then you demand a trade. He demanded a trade. Did he demand or did he request?

I'm pretty sure he demanded a trade. Demand trade.

And then after that, I guess would be like get fat and out of shape.

I'm reading it right here. Vitave demands trade.

Okay. So it was a trade. Yeah. If you demand a trade, you should, you should have to back that up with your actions.

I just, yeah, I want it to be like a whole, I want it to be a whole thing where, where if there's a disgruntled player, you can have the process like you just described, but then when you demand a trade, you have to do a press conference and be like, I am hereby demanding a trade. And then it's, it's like over. You have to, you have to follow through with the demand of the trade.

Yep.

Um, all right, should we do Mount Rushmore? Let's do Mount Rushmore. Then we have Max Struess, uh, on the show, which we said at the beginning, but Max Struess, we taped it on Tuesday, he got traded on Wednesday. That's never happened to us before. We did at least acknowledge it could happen. Either way, it's awesome interview. Max Struess is the absolute man. He hung out like all day on Tuesday, and we're going to root for him when he's at the Clippers. But that will come up after Mount Rushmore. Before we do Mount Rushmore, DraftKings, DraftKings, something big is coming on September 2nd. DraftKings Game Day arrives with massive deals, exclusive offers, and all-day celebration built for sports fans. The countdown has begun. All roads lead to Game Day. The DraftKings Sports app is now in all 50 states. That means from Texas to California to Florida, every fan is in on the excitement. One app, every sport, all 50 states. DraftKings Game Day is yours. Remember the date: September 2nd. DraftKings Game Day is a kickoff of a new season, a new era, and the biggest day in sports history. Get pumped, get ready to celebrate.

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Mount Rushmore is brought to you by our friends at Reese's. There's something for everyone when it comes to Reese's. We have the Reese's Lounge upstairs. We absolutely love Reese's. I got the big cups right here. They're the one, one of candy when you were picking, uh, your Mount Rushmore. They're the one, one, one, two, one, three. You go down the list. Reese's Sticks, the grand, the, the animal crackers with Reese's. It's all there. Reese's, absolute best candy ever created. The New York Knicks of candy. Go get the Reese's Peanut Butter Cups with Oreo. Incredible. Incredible. The big cup as well.

Can't miss.

We love Reese's. Reese's, the official candy partner of Barstool Sports. Go get Reese's wherever you shop. OK, Mount Rushmore of things you— skills you think you could master in a night. Or what is it? What was the exact thing?

Overnight.

Overnight. What did I say exactly?

Skills you could master overnight.

Overnight. OK. Zach, blowout win on Wednesday. If you missed Wednesday's show, we're going to a 1v1v1 setup because Max Beams and I already clinched not being last place. Zach with a blowout win. PFT came in with a narrow second place. I think it was like 1%.

Second place, second place, second place, second place.

And then Hank is in last place and Hank and Max are now fighting.

Yeah, big time. It was contentious earlier.

What was the contention?

The contentious part was they recommended a Mount Rushmore topic today that I think was funny to them, but in reality, not a great topic for debate. I objected to the topic. I kept it business. Hank decided to go personal with Max.

And listen, Max is going to be gone. I don't know when he's ever going to be back. I'm going to miss him. I little behind the curtains, I looked at Colton and was like, hey, like, get your camera ready. And then I just, you know, threw some— threw a heater in the pot to just get Max riled up.

Yeah, you said Max is so checked out and already on his sex vacation.

I said no, but this— I like— I actually— this was just— I was just trying to get Max upset.

I said, you gotta stop saying sex vacation.

No one has ever been more checked out in the history of this planet than Max.

And then he Sounds like Labor Day is going to be 9 months from your sex vacation. Getting later every year.

Uh, you got it, Max. You get it. You got it.

You got it. You got it.

Yep. Yep.

Uh, Hank, but in Max's defense, are you potentially in the portion of the Mount Rushmore season where you get triggered because of your own performance on the field?

Not yet. Ah, we've had one game. Yeah, but I felt like we came in third.

That was an early warning sign.

Yeah, but we— you went from last in the game we were playing to then a new game, and then you're still in last.

I mean, you asked the question, I answered. That's— but if the end— if I know, last today maybe, but I'm not there yet.

Zach, what'd I say on the stream last night about, about Hank and Mount Rushmore?

Uh, you did say when it gets late into the season things should go a little left.

Yeah, things, things start to—

lefty lock.

He starts to fight a war against himself, and then that ends up usually in him lashing out.

Okay, right.

I mean, I just— I have like documented evidence of me just doing that to get Max fired up.

But yeah, no, no, I agree with you there. I was just asking— that was a separate question. Like, I, I completely agree with you and believe that you were triggering Max in a way that was very funny, but Is there a small part of you that is also like, I fucking hate Mount Rushmore because I suck at it?

No, not yet.

So it's coming, maybe. And Max is going to miss that. Yeah, because the sex vacation.

Mm-hmm.

Okay. Mount Rushmore of skills you think you can master overnight. Henry's first, PFT second, Zach is third. I think we got that right. I think we're going to go in order.

Order.

Yeah, we're gonna do that. We're gonna go in a circle.

We're doing a reverse of last time.

We're going first.

We're just going to circle.

Wait, but counterclockwise.

Yeah, counterclockwise. But we're—

it's a triangle the way we did it when it was—

yeah, no, no, we're go— they're actually sitting in a circle. The problem with before was that I was sitting in the middle of the circle and you guys are on that side.

So I'm first.

You're first. PFT second. Zach is third. On Monday, PFT will be first.

It's a fact.

Counterclockwise.

Mm-hmm. I'm going to go with— I don't know how to word this.

Oh, all right.

Driving stick shift.

Oh, that's how you word it. It's good.

Pits. You practice overnight in the dark.

It's one of those things where it seems impossible, but it's actually not like it's, you know, I think a full night of learning and training I like that pick. It would. It would. And then it would be awesome.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I, I'm intimidated by stick shift, but I do think that if I sat down and did it for 2 hours, I'd be like, yeah, I got this. Yeah.

Yeah.

I learned how to drive stick first. My mom was like, you're going to learn on this car first. That way, if you ever have to drive somebody else's, you can do it. There's nothing more scary than if you drive a stick shift and you're on a hill and you come to a stop and then having to restart while there's somebody right behind you. Like, I don't know how people don't get into accidents every single day doing that.

That.

What about alien spiders?

What about—

well, no, you said nothing scarier.

No, I think that's—

if alien spiders came down—

we're doing the Mount Rushmore of terrifying things. I think shifting into first gear, okay, while on an incline as a, as a new stick shift driver is number one.

Nazi alien spiders.

You know I hate Nazis, but I'm not scared of them.

Okay, so no. Uh, good pick, Hank.

Thanks.

Yeah, PFT, that's a good pick.

I hope that we trigger some people with this. Mount Rushmore is my hope.

I'm going to go with shuffling a deck of cards, becoming a really sick shuffler.

It's a good pick.

I'll say it right now. I do not respect people, men, grown men who can't shuffle.

That's why I've never done it.

I thought you were going to go the opposite. I was going to get mad. No.

Yeah. If I hand you a deck of cards. And you like do the big mix-up like a child or you smash them together.

Yeah.

I instantly think less of you as a man.

You know what I do? I take that deck and I'm like, here, Hank, you shuffle.

And then I give it to someone else.

I just pass it right along.

We're talking bridge on the way back down to you, right?

Yeah.

Hank, you know how to shuffle?

Not well.

No, I can shuffle. But I mean, 50% of the time it looks like dog shit.

50%.

It's like a dead guy.

We got to learn. We got that.

We got to shuffle overnight. Podcast overnight.

We can't be doing this overnight. Let's do it tonight.

Yeah, because I don't have to be.

Do you guys— we got— we can't have that.

I'm telling you, Marcus Jones just picked off Jalen Hurts again.

Oh shit, Max just left.

So 20 to get 26 interceptions.

Max, why did Max leave?

Was he already dead cards?

Oh, that was leaving for sex vacation.

I think he probably got the alert that there was another pick. He's like, I'm not dealing with this shit.

I'm not dealing with this. All right, Zach, you have 2.

I'm going—

good pick, PFT.

That is a great pick. You I'm going to take, uh, Grave Digging.

Oh, okay.

If we're trying to master something, I—

hey, Max, break your moves. Hank, do you want to do the cow?

Give her to me.

Uh, Marcus Jones just picked off Jalen Hurts again.

Cool.

He opted out.

That's a crisp— yeah, crisp shuffle.

See this, Hank?

I, I understand, like, the concept of shuffling.

Yeah, I don't know if you do. Well, that was a bad one.

That—

yeah, I don't, I don't—

it's too bright.

I don't like— I can't shuffle.

What is going on here?

That was a good one.

Oh, that was a really—

what is going on? I don't know what Max is—

this is— I know Max, he's so checked out.

He's on vacation.

You're right, Hank, he's gonna have some so much sex.

I told you that's what I do.

You were right. You were so right, Hank. He's so checked out. Oh no, Hank, what are you doing?

I said I can't shuffle, but why are you doing it?

Just mixing it up.

You gotta at least try it.

Stop. What? All right, we're gonna learn. We're gonna learn. We gotta— I don't respect you. Go.

Okay, then what if I just put you in a car and said, let's try it?

Yeah, you're not a man, Max.

Like, I can't do it.

I'm going to teach you, Hank. It was— I've never seen the side. You went side, not, you know, tops.

I would love to be able to do the bridge on the way back up. 50% of the time when I do it, it's crisp, it's perfect. And when you—

wait, wait, shuffle.

No, I said when I get asked to shuffle, what I do is I hand it to Hank. That's my shuffling right now.

But you said 50% of the time you're going to do it.

It's a toss-up. I don't want to— I don't want to land on the wrong side of that coin right now.

Okay. Okay. That was at least more respectable. All right. We're going to learn how to shuffle. We're going to teach you guys how to shuffle.

It could happen overnight.

All right. Gravedigging was Zach's first pick.

If we're trying to master skills. Yeah, I just think, okay, some of these, I don't know if we're mastering. I think like you're roasting a clutch overnight.

Okay.

I don't know. I just maybe I took it too literal on the master.

No, no.

But you're right. You would be able to. Master that.

And then secondly, Zach, are you saying like, to— you could do it overnight? Like you could accomplish digging one grave overnight? Or is there something different about digging a grave than there would be about digging a hole?

I just think there's— or no, that just seemed like a skill.

It's a profession.

Yeah, you put it down as like a skill you have.

Okay, I'd agree with that.

Uh, second, I would like to take Kochek.

Oh, okay. He took it very—

I think you take— I don't know.

Master coat checker overnight.

I don't want to— I don't want to disparage the profession, but he's right. I take— I take your coat. Here's the ticket.

Yeah.

Yes.

And then I take one side of the ticket.

But you got to remember what to do with that one side of the ticket and keep it.

Yeah.

Masters don't make mistakes. I think I can master that overnight. Yeah.

Yeah, true. Yeah. Master.

Okay. This is a very literal taking of this, but I like it.

Okay.

Go ahead, PFT.

How to make the perfect paper airplane.

Mm.

I think you get a lot of reps overnight. You can test them against each other. By the time sun comes up, you've got the perfect design.

Our guy Sante recently proved that that's not true. He watched a week-long video and took a Yale course in it and then finished third in a paper airplane throwing competition.

Out of 3 people.

Out of 3 people.

I think that you could. I personally think this Mount Rushmore being what could I master overnight? Yeah, I think if I tried hard enough, I would create the perfect paper airplane.

Yeah. Okay, Hank, I'm going to go with tying a bow tie.

Mm.

Okay.

That's so hard. It's so hard.

But like, we're talking what you have all night.

Yeah, I like it.

Like you have all night. It's hard, but like, that's the, that's the perfect time to— you don't have enough time to— there's things you don't have enough time to do. Learning a bow tie, I feel like if I had a full night, I could.

This might be the punishment for Rushmore. Loser has to do one.

Do it.

Do all master one of these.

Do all of the ones that you put out there for Rushmore.

Yeah. Okay.

And then I'm going to go with beating a video game.

Yeah.

Yeah.

If you give it a full night and you're like, I'm not going to bed and I'm just going to keep hammering it.

Yeah.

Not all of them, though. There's some really shitty ones like Zelda.

Yeah.

You cannot beat a night.

You have Battletoads.

You have to do like 6 weeks, nothing but Zelda all the time.

Oh, good game.

I connected enough flutes that—

oh, great.

Now I've mastered the elf.

All right, PFT, you have a pick.

They don't sell this.

Yeah, well, it's real sexist. No, really? Link? Link is a— is a chick.

Link is a male. Zelda is a female.

Yeah. Hank doesn't even know.

I do know. I said I hate on Zelda.

Zelda. He did. This is true.

You said, but I hate on— I hate on the video game where you play as the little elf guy.

Yeah.

The game is called Zelda.

Yeah.

Yeah. Ocarina of Time.

No. Oh, no.

Yeah.

But not—

it's not Ocarina.

Oh, you've—

you've— you've unveiled— you've unveiled the magic horror No, you get 3 more diamonds.

Oh, breaking news.

Let's fucking fly from Missouri to Kansas.

Yeah, it's called skills. Oh, the magic of flight.

Breaking news, breaking news, breaking news. Apparently Dan Hurley is rewatching the Duke-UConn game this morning and laughing at them on Instagram stories. That rocks. He's got the laughing.

Why?

Why would he laugh at that game? Look at that.

Duke was killing emoji.

Yeah, but Duke was crushing.

Why is that awesome? Okay, that was it.

Why would he laugh at that?

I don't know. Who's up?

I'm up.

Yep.

I'm going to go with CPR. Yeah. Can we add it on our list? Master that overnight. Maybe save a life.

Something you really don't want to fuck up, though, if you— if you think you master it.

That's true. That's one of those skills that you have and you probably don't. I would not go around telling people that I was certified or that I knew CPR. But then when the shit went down, if nobody else could do it, it's kind of like if I was on a plane and the pilot passed out and the flight attendant was like, is anyone here a pilot? I wouldn't say shit. Yeah, but then I'd wait like 10 seconds and I'd be like, I am kind of. I own a flight simulator.

Yeah.

All right, Zach, you have 2.

I'm going to go with Battleship.

The game?

Yes.

Oh, okay.

I think there's a bunch of different openings in Battleship you could probably get into there.

Okay.

And then for— and then I would also like to take bartending at a dive bar.

Okay, that's a good pick. That's a good pick.

Wait, there's—

you don't have to make any intricate, intricate cocktails.

No, you just open a beer.

Yeah, there's openings in Battleship. I was not aware of this.

Well, we're looking to master it, you know.

Yeah, yeah.

Um, although I think you might be too nice for a bartender at a dive bar. I think you got to be like a little bit of a—

yeah, that can mean overnight though. He's got a master.

That's a good point. You can master that.

Yeah, and you actually would get really mean if you if you didn't get your sleep.

Yes, I'll be up all evening trying to master certain beers.

Yeah, I feel like if you bartended at a dive bar, Zach, somebody would come in and try to order something fancy. They'd be like, can I have a French 75? And you'd be like, yeah, yes, sir. And then you turn around, you'd be like, shit, I don't have any of those ingredients.

They're getting the vodka soda with like 2 fun wedges.

But the right answer is no, no, this is what you get.

Yeah, it's beer and drinks that are 2 ingredients.

You want a beer or do you want 2 beers?

Yeah.

And yes, we have ashtrays.

Yeah.

Okay. PFT, your last pick.

My last pick. I'm going to go with changing a tire.

Mm.

You could figure that out overnight.

That's a good pick. That's going to be my next pick.

Yeah, I've done it. Not overnight, but like in the morning. I figured that out. It's not that hard. You just have to know. It's mostly about—

I learned how to do it when I was younger, but if I had to do it today, You'd know how to do it. Probably not, but overnight you can master it.

We just got it. We just got a side text from one of the, one of the boys listening in the editing bay.

What'd they say?

I'm not going to say who it is, but Shane texted me and Means separately and goes, Zach, with one of the worst drafts in the history of Mount Rushmore.

Oh no, no. Bartender was good.

Bartender was good.

He just took it very literally.

Yeah.

All right. What's your last pick, Hank?

Juggling. We said juggling.

Yeah, I don't know. We had it on your list.

Juggling's hard, but you got a full night. You could learn. I could do 3 balls, maybe 4. Uh, it was between that— we're done, right? Yeah, I was— I was— tell me, tell me which— if that was the correct pick between juggling harmonica, baking cookies.

I had cooking in general. All you do is really follow direction. Like, I cook anything, especially if you give me like, hey, here's your ingredients.

Just like, I'm just thinking like, oh, you got a full night. Yeah, you try round one. You know, you could try like 7 or 8 batches of cookies and by the 8th one you would assume you've created the perfect cookie.

You guys, you guys went pretty respectful because we were getting disrespectful with ours. We went— I think you did a good pick there, your last one. But we got disrespectful. We, we think you could, you could master Excel overnight.

Oh yeah, for sure.

So I'm already proficient. Yeah, it's only one more step to being a master.

Photography.

Yeah, easily.

I didn't say that.

Yeah, these are people who go to school for a really long time. I think you could learn Spanish overnight. We also had code to code.

Yeah, that's very simple.

Extremely simple.

Then we had— you just ask Doc to do it for you. Tennis player and pickleball.

Easy.

Yeah.

Master.

Yeah, we fucking— we could have a duper at 5 in a second.

Pickleball for sure.

Easy.

I had one disrespectful thing on here. I didn't take it. DJing.

Yeah.

Yeah. Press play. Yep.

Boom. Rubik's Cube we had. Yeah, I thought we had—

I thought about Rubik's Cube, but honestly, zero, zero chance.

No, it's just an algorithm. Yeah.

Like, yeah, Max, I'll pay you $1,000 if you can learn how to do a Rubik's Cube as an expert overnight.

Different boating knots.

Oh, that's good. Also, just, just making a budget. I really know how to phrase that one, but like, I've like just like being like, all right, spend— this is your allotment for various raffles.

State capitals.

That's your budget. Yeah, that's my budget. You spend this much on raffles. Someone help me with my budget. Weird golf.

Yeah, with golf as well. If you spent one full night on golf, 50 state capitals, you could, you could memorize those.

Nope. You should try.

Yeah, I guarantee you. No, if you just tried, there's only 50 of them. Yeah. And you know most of them.

Zach, talk to us. What's going on in the head?

What's up?

Yeah, he's pissed at you.

We had a good draft. A lot of these— I'll say it, a few of these things I don't think any of us could master overnight. But yeah, like what? Yeah, the stick shift thing. I don't think you're mastering that overnight.

100%.

The Rubik's Cube thing. 100%.

No, no.

You think, you think stick shift overnight?

Yes.

And you're not, you're not slipping a gear, you're just—

you have 8 hours.

If you're on the first couple hours, yes.

Have you been in, like, have you been in first on a hill, Madison?

No, but again, like, the first time, yeah, it might be a struggle. Second, third, fourth, fifth.

Oh, Cheyenne, shit, that was on PFD.

Yep.

Zach is so mad at Shane.

No, not at all.

He's really mad at Shane. No, no, my God.

Vegetables.

I didn't say that.

I do know when I was in third grade, our, like, our, like, class was like, you had to, like, spelling, you had to pass, and if you didn't pass, everyone moved on. You stayed on that level.

Honolulu.

I was the last person. States and capitals.

It was, it was traumatic.

No, no, no, no. Oh, it is, uh, uh, Colombia. We're really having— what were you saying, Hank?

Helena.

What are you saying?

I was the last person in my class in third grade to pass states and capitals.

I think that's—

I think it's Frankfurt.

Yeah, I think it's Frankfurt. Small capital. Alabama is Birmingham.

Montgomery. All right, let's get to our interview with Max Struess. Good to Mount Rushmore, everyone.

Yeah. Okay.

Do they have to hold— did they hold you back on capitals?

What do you mean?

That'd be funny if they're like, we're not going to hold you back, but just capitals.

Yeah, pretty much.

Yeah, that sucks.

Yeah.

So like, city.

Yeah. All right, let's get to our interview with Max Struess, who's now on the Clippers, and we're going to talk to him. Great time with him.

Before we get to Max Struess, he's brought to you by Netflix. Netflix is expanding its NFL coverage. In 2026. We got week 1 to the first ever Thanksgiving Eve matchup and 2 Christmas Day games and a playoff game in January. Week 1 of the upcoming NFL season, it's the league's first ever regular season game in Australia on September 10th between division rivals the Los Angeles Rams and the San Francisco 49ers. That's going to air on Netflix live from the Melbourne Cricket Ground. Heading into the holiday season, Netflix has the NFL's first ever Thanksgiving Eve game On November 25th, that's the Green Bay Packers visiting the Rams at SoFi Stadium. Then continuing the Christmas Day tradition, Netflix again will air 2 games on December 25th. At 1 PM Eastern, 10 Pacific, the Packers visit the Bears at Soldier Field, followed by the Bills against the Broncos from Empower Field at Mile High at 4:30 PM Eastern, 1:30 PM Pacific. And then Week 18 with playoff stakes on the line. Catch the final game of the regular season live on Netflix. Watch Week 1 of the NFL on Netflix starting with Rams versus the Niners live only on Netflix Thursday, September 10th at 8:35 PM Eastern, 5:35 Pacific.

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It's the best. We love Netflix. And Max Truce is also brought to you by our great friends over at Chevy. Chevy, the heartbeat. Summer's in full swing. That means no schedules, no plans. Some more of the good stuff. Chevy Silverado makes all that possible. There's a reason Chevy's called the heartbeat of America. The Silverado keeps that heartbeat strong. These trucks work hard so you can chill harder, whether that's getting out of town, going to the lake, or just not turning around when you probably should. It's got the capability, the space, and the muscle. It's got everything that you need for proper summer coolers, gear, whatever your version of chill looks like. Because at the end of the day, Silverado helps you tackle more of what you And let's be honest, you've earned the summer. Now it's time to go get it. Roll the windows down, turn the music up, and just listen. That's the heartbeat of America. That's today's Chevrolet. Head over to chevy.com to learn more. And now here's Max Struess.

Okay, we now welcome on a very, very special guest. It is Max Struess in studio. And Max is here. Well, he lives in Chicago, but he also has a charity event on Sunday. Which is a great, great cause. The Max Struess Family Foundation. Where are you guys doing it on Sunday?

At the Big City Pickle in West Loop.

Pickleball. Are you allowed to play pickleball?

I am.

You are?

Yes, I'll be playing.

Are you good?

I'm all right. What's your rating? What's my rating?

You have a rating?

Probably in the 80s. I'll probably be in the 80s. Yeah, I don't know.

You're not good.

But wait, what is that?

You have a duper?

You don't have a duper?

No, I don't have a duper.

Yeah.

Then you're not good.

Yeah.

Okay.

I don't know. That's the thing. Is it like a golf handicap?

We have a— You know what? I'm just going to call—

Yeah, we have a security guard. Mike is like a pickleball— He loves the sport.

Okay.

And he's very adamant about people saying they play pickleball. And if they don't have a duper, he gets—

Yeah, no, I don't have a duper.

This is an interesting way to start an interview. We got to do it. Mike's the man. He's the man. He loves cannolis. Anyway, hey, cannolis and pickleball. We got Max Struess here in studio from the Cavs, and he says he plays pickleball. Do you have any questions for him? I need a duper rating right away. Hey Max, what's your duper?

Yeah, I gotta work on that. He doesn't have no duper.

He doesn't have one.

Always a bad sign, you know that.

Okay, all right, thank you Mike, appreciate it. All right, bye.

Always a bad sign.

So we're getting better.

Yeah, I needed more knowledge, I guess.

Yeah, you gotta shoot for a duper this time. This year, gotta have a duper.

Yeah, is it a— it's a tournament?

It is a tournament. Okay, there's 3 levels, uh, there's a competitive thing, there's a anybody like leisurely wants to come play. And there's a celebrity tournament as well.

So who's in that?

Kate. Kate's in it. Barstool Kate.

Okay, she's really good.

Chief.

Chief's in it.

White Sox Dave are playing. Yeah. Um, Herb Jones from the Pelicans is coming over.

Uh, I gotta play next year. I had a conflict this year because it's— my kids start school the next day, so we're doing one last vacation. I don't have a duper.

You don't have one either?

I do not. I actually— you know what, pickleball is a fine sport. We'll keep it. We'll keep it. We'll keep it good.

Yeah.

It's for the kids. We're doing a foundation.

Yeah, exactly.

Great charity.

All right. So how, what's, what's this week like right now? So we're taping this on Tuesday. You're, we're going to run it on Friday. Are you still going to be a Cav? Do you have any, do you get any updates?

No, you don't know anything until it happens. I mean, I've never been in this situation before. I've never been like on trade rumors and trade blocks like this before. So it's something new that I'm learning as well. But to answer your question, I don't know. Yeah. So if it happens, it happens and we'll be all right. If it doesn't, I'll be happy back in Cleveland.

I think it's also like weirdly a compliment that you have like such a trait. Like you have a contract that people are like, this is a good player on the last year of a deal. Like this is a great like asset that we can, you know, shop around.

Yeah.

You don't want to take it as a slight, like they're just getting rid of you. Like you have value, right? People want you. At some point it's like, all right, you're doing something. People know who you are. People want you. So I'm not mad about it. It is what it is. I get it. It's a business at the end of the day. So you just got to take it for what it is. And if it happens, it happens.

All right.

So other offseason question, what was your favorite moment from almost being teammates with LeBron? Because there was like that one week where it's like, oh, he's definitely going to—

everybody thought he was coming to the—

yeah, yeah.

So nobody truly knows your favorite moment.

Moment?

Did you have a favorite moment of that? Um, you know what, I golfed one day during that week and I was like, man, this is gonna be pretty cool if I can— I get to golf with LeBron.

That's a good answer. That's a good answer.

I was looking forward to that, but unfortunately that didn't happen.

That is— that's a highlight.

Yeah.

What was it super weird this year in that one playoff game, I forget which one it was, when Charles Barkley basically said he wanted to date you?

Yeah, on national TV.

I think the quote was something like, he's a good-looking man.

Yeah, he compared me to Tom Brady.

Yeah, I think he said I would not look him dead in the eye because you're that good-looking. Um, did you— did you reach out to Charles afterwards? Did you send him a text like, you up?

What's going on?

What's up, Charles?

We definitely did another interview like a week later and I got to talk to him. But yeah, no, no weird stuff. But, you know, it was just like a— it was a nice compliment that I'll take from the guy.

Very nice. Has a woman ever talked to you in the same way that I wish Barkley talked to you?

I wish.

He really liked you.

Yes. No, I wish some women would do that. No, he's got it. Yeah, that was awesome.

Yeah, those guys are very funny. They're the best.

They're the best.

We've had Chuck on a couple of times. Just— he could just talk forever.

All day.

Yeah, all day.

All of them. All three of those guys in there can do that.

Your career, though, is interesting because you're not like— you weren't a top draft pick. You had to kind of scratch and claw, you know, G League, you get hurt, all these things. Was there— was there a moment where— because a lot of times guys, if they aren't drafted, they're just going right to Europe and they're like, all right, this is— I'll make a great living playing ball in Europe, but it's never going to happen to me for me in the NBA. Was, was that ever a thought like, I'm going to go to Europe? Or you're like, no, I can do this in the NBA?

Oh yeah, multiple times. Yeah, there's plenty of moments where I was like, I'm probably not going to make it anymore. I'd say like coming out of high school, I went Division II. You know, my brother played at Lewis University, so I followed in his footsteps and everybody who was good on that team played overseas and played professionally. So I was like, that's going to be my route. So that was always like the dream, the goal. And then once I transferred to DePaul, my sights kind of changed of like, all right, I could play in the NBA and make it. But then obviously had my sniff, played in summer league, and then had my first year with the Bulls, tore my ACL, and I was like, well, that might have been my shot. Yeah. But yeah, going overseas was always an option, always a thought. The NBA was never really the thought, but then it just kind of just all kept working out.

And was there a moment where you're like, okay, I'm good, like, I can do this, I'm good. Yeah, I've made it. I can actually, like, I belong here.

Absolutely. You know, after I tore my ACL, I got to go to Miami and I was there for 3 years. But after my first year there, they signed me like a 2-year minimum and I played summer league that summer. And like, that was like my moment of like, I'm here, I belong, I should be here, and I'm going to— I'm going to be a good player in the league.

That's got to be an incredible feeling where you— where you have the confidence of like, I'm actually— I'm actually good at this and I can beat— I can beat these guys. Like, I'm better than some of these guys. Yeah, I can contribute to a team.

Yeah. No, it was— I mean, the Heat, like, put me in summer league and they were like, it's your third year, but you're going to play. We want you to be the guy. And like at that point you kind of just get your confidence rolling. And then I had a really good summer league and followed that into the season. Everything just like kept taking off from there. And now I'm where I am.

How do you— how do you describe Heat culture?

How do you describe Heat culture?

Is it just that they weigh you every day?

I get that question so many times. It's once a week.

Yeah.

Yeah. You got to have body— your body fat's got to be in touch. I can't be over 10% body fat.

Fuck.

How do they know?

I have no heat culture.

It's like these, like, little, like, clamper things.

They bring out the calipers on you guys. You get pinched once a week by your team.

Oh, yeah. So I'm—

the strength coach is like, right out of the showers, like, step on the scale.

So I'm somewhere like 22% over the heat culture line.

Yeah.

You would not be able to play in a game. They would be making you run sprints after practice, making you run on the treadmill until you got down to 10%.

If you get asked that question a lot, can I give you a way to answer it?

Yeah.

You just answer it with another cliché. You say the standard is the standard.

Yeah.

Or—

and then they're like, oh yeah, yeah, I get that.

Right.

They'd be like, oh, it's the standard.

Yeah.

Or you have to— or you just say, if you have to ask, you can't afford it. Like, if you, if you have to ask about Heat culture, like, dude, it's never going to be for you.

Yeah. You know, that's a great way to go at it. Yeah.

Are there, are there some guys in the G League that are— that you see like in the developmental areas that aren't really— they've kind of like given up that dream. They're there, they're getting a paycheck, they're playing ball, but but like you could tell that they're not really, they don't have that dream of playing in the NBA anymore.

No, I think everybody has the dream and I think everybody thinks that they belong. Mm-hmm. Um, and I think that's why that's gotta be tough. Some guys get, yeah, I think everybody's just like, the G League's an interesting place, man. Like guys are just like grinding for their lives out there making $35,000 a year. But like everybody there thinks that they can start and play and score 20 points a game in the NBA.

Yeah.

So it's just like, I think the toughest job is probably coaching the G League of like trying to balance all those egos. But yeah, there's definitely talented guys, but there's some guys that just like, yeah, well, it ain't going to make it.

It's partially that and partially if you still have that belief in yourself as a team of everybody that thinks that they should be in the NBA, like, how do you get those players to play as a team? Because yeah, at the end of the day, they're trying to get their own stats up. They're trying to do whatever they need to do to prove themselves to a GM.

Have you ever been to a G League game?

I have.

Yeah.

And it's not, it's not always the best team basketball.

No, no, not at all.

Ball.

Yeah, if you're a point guard, you're in a good spot, but if you're anybody else but a point guard and a center, you're probably not going to score much.

Yeah, yeah.

It's anybody who has the ball in their hand that's kind of getting the shot. So it's an interesting dynamic. Um, there's definitely been some good G League teams, but it's a crazy world down there. It's a crazy world. Yeah.

Um, also, as a professional athlete, and specifically in the NBA, I was wondering if you could teach us what taxes are. And because I think you guys have to pay taxes and we don't— I don't know what that is.

So, shit, you guys make more money than me. You guys should tell me about taxes.

How does that work when you're—

The only thing I know about taxes is that I get taxed in every city that I'm in. So like, you know, we play in LA for 3 days, like you're getting taxed those, those nights in LA. But yeah, I got somebody who handles that for me, so I can't answer any of your questions.

Can you just say, and we'll just clip it, just be like, people don't understand that athletes pay taxes too.

People do not understand that athletes of course pay taxes as well.

Yeah, that's crazy.

Wow.

Holy shit.

I really— how you lose your money?

At least. Yeah. Damn.

Say damn. Damn.

Damn.

Damn.

That's a lot.

Yeah. It's a new trend where it's like, you know, whatever athlete who maybe got into money issues are like, you make $100 million, boom, chop it in half right away. It's like, yeah, dude, we all know.

Yeah, everybody does. We all got it.

Do you think you need more respect as a dunker? Dunker, because you are a sneaky dunker.

Well, that's every white guy in the NBA.

I know, but you get up there and you like throw down.

Yes, I do. I've, I've like, it's been my dream of mine since I was a kid to be in the dunk contest.

Why aren't we doing it?

Uh, so I had a chance like 2 years ago where they were like calling me and they're like, ah, we got somebody else on the line, but like if he says no, like you're our next guy. And like by the time they called, I already planned like a trip to go to like Punta Cana.

Yeah.

So I was like, yeah, I'm not gonna do that.

That's actually the perfect answer for a guy that should be in the dunk contest. Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna be in Mexico. Maybe next year. But yeah, you should be in it. Like, imagine if it was you and Mac McClung in the finals.

I mean, that guy's unreal. Yeah, the dunks that he can do. I don't think I can do all that, but I could, you know, have you throw something together?

Like, thought about what your, what your 3 dunks would be? Have you daydreamt about that?

I have one. Oh, yeah. Are you one?

Are you still think you're going to do it?

I would love to.

Okay.

So I don't know if I can give it.

No, I think if you tell us, maybe it will.

No one else can do it.

People like, we got to see it.

And if somebody else does it, they that's infringing on your IP.

I promise to not do this dunk.

Yeah. I mean, it's like a triple backflip.

Yeah.

Yeah.

No, I'm not going to do that.

I can't make that promise.

Wait.

All right.

So we have a running bit on this show. I got a question because you said Putakana and it reminded me of something. Obviously, losing in the playoffs sucks. Sucks. But like going to Cabo as a professional athlete rocks.

Never been.

Okay.

Wherever you're going to vacation. Vacation, it rocks, right?

It can.

Yeah.

Okay.

All right. Because we always joke, like, whenever it's like, oh, enjoy Cabo, it's like, yeah, they probably will. They probably will. They're super rich, in awesome shape, like, gonna have a good time. You could never dream of having that. Yeah, they probably will have a very good time.

Fans being like, see you in Cancún, loser.

Yeah, people are like, they think that's like a slight. It's like, all right, yeah, if I see you there, I'll see you.

I'm basically gonna just be in heaven for 2 weeks. So yeah, I, yeah, actually, I won't see you there because you won't be there. I will. I get to go.

Just like small part of like, hey, imagine going to the pool and like not being embarrassed to take off your shirt. They get to do that. So yeah, it probably rocks.

Yeah. No, it's a— I mean, you don't want to be there, of course, but yes, it's usually a pretty good time. Yeah. Anytime you can get away.

Vacation's fun.

Can I ask you a headline grab question? Yeah. One that's going to get clipped. Make a starting 5 out of guys that you've played with. Top starting 5. All your teammates, current and former.

Um, I think Jimmy Butler's got to be in there.

Yep.

Donovan Mitchell.

Um, should Donovan Mitchell be taller?

Have you guys ever met him?

No, but his, his arm length is crazy.

Insane.

Yeah.

Yeah. I think he wears like a size like 16 shoe. Yeah.

I think he should be taller.

It doesn't make any sense. Okay.

Yeah.

Keep going. I'm happy we confirmed that.

Yes. Um, Don, Jimmy. Who else have I played with? Those are definitely the two. I got to throw James Harden in there.

Yeah.

Okay.

Just off of his resume.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Bam Adebayo.

That's fair.

And you know what? I'm a huge Jared Allen fan.

He's a man.

I love Jared Allen. Yeah, he's one of my favorite players ever.

Were you Uh, did you— the Bam Tyler Herro, uh, fight, were you there for that? No, you didn't see any of that? I know if you guys were there for Summer League, there seemed like there was a lot of guys like just—

yeah, I haven't been to Vegas in a couple years. It's not really— that, that whole week's not for me. Yeah, you want to go to Vegas, but everybody in the NBA is there.

Yeah, right. So it's like, did those guys not get along when you were on the Heat?

No, they did.

Yeah, yeah.

I don't know what happened after I left the Heat. It seems And like things kind of—

you should say something about Bam on this show right now and get smacked by him and then we can have you back on.

No, no. Me and Bam are tight. Me and Bam are tight. I don't—

that's not what you were saying before you came on.

Yeah, it's changing when the cameras get in my face. No, Bam's awesome. And that's the last person I would have met.

I would imagine.

Speaking of Donovan Mitchell, I mean, like Donovan Mitchell's a specimen, but Bam Adebayo is like, yeah, holy shit.

Yeah, big dude. That, that run you guys had when you went to the finals like that as an 8 seed, was there What was it, Spo putting you guys in great spots? Was the team clicking at the right time? Because it was incredible to see, like, that doesn't really happen in the NBA.

We just like clicked at the right time. I mean, you can go back and look at history, like the record book, like during the season we were terrible. Yeah. Like we were the 1 seed the year before and then like all season we were terrible. We couldn't gel together. Nobody wanted to play. It was like a mess. And then we lost our first play-in game, which was nuts. Going elimination game against the Bulls, down 16 in that game, and like came back and won that game. And then from there on, it was like the Jimmy Butler show.

Yeah.

I mean, it was like the most unbelievable thing that was ever experienced. And everybody kind of just like vibed off of that. And it was like the most like pure basketball I've ever played.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I was going to say, what's Jimmy like when he dials in? When you know that he's like absolutely focused, locked in?

I don't think there's anything else like him.

Him.

Yeah. When he's like, from what I experienced and what I saw during that time, I've never seen anything like that in my life.

Yeah.

Is that like, obviously during the games, like after the games, before the games?

Oh, he'll drink a beer in the hot tub after. Like, he's just like the most normal dude. Like, he's an asshole for sure, but like, he'll go and drink wine after the game, drink a couple beers and do it again the next day. Like, he's just, he can just like, he is the most he can get away from it so easily. And then when he has to turn it on, he can just like flip a switch in like the fourth quarter.

Like, what kind of asshole is he? Because there's different kinds. There's the asshole where you're like, I want to— I hate this guy. There's the asshole, it's like, you're a dick, but you're my asshole, so I love you.

Yeah, it's kind of like that.

Yeah.

Um, but he's also like an asshole towards you. Like one day you'll like look at him and he would just like won't even like acknowledge you.

Yeah.

Like, you could like go to dinner with him the night before, like you're his best friend, and then the next morning you go to practice and he won't even like look at you or say hi to you. And it's he's like, damn, what did I do at dinner last night? Just like— but then the game starts and he's your best friend again. It's just like, you got to play like the card, just like, yeah, Jimmy's gonna be Jimmy.

It's like you're always trying to earn back his respect, or like always trying to make things okay between—

yeah, I just got to a point where I just didn't give a fuck anymore, and I was just like, all right, Jimmy's gonna be Jimmy, and I'm gonna do my thing, and hopefully we respect each other.

Yeah, that's smart.

And it ended up being good. We got a great handshake that we like flip each other off. So yeah, it's like—

oh, what was your handshake?

We literally just We literally just went like this. Yeah.

Oh, that's a great handshake.

That is great.

Yeah.

So it was basically like, fuck you, fuck you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That was like our relationship.

Yeah.

Speaking of teammates, how awesome is B-Ball Paul?

The man.

I love him.

I'm so happy for B-Ball Paul.

I am too.

Yeah. Coming out of college, like, if you guys would have met B-Ball Paul as a freshman in college.

Yeah. What was he like? Was he— I mean, because we love it. I've been obsessed with B-Ball Paul for a few years now. I actually bought his merch, which I'm pretty sure he just like— You're off the mud?

You got the merch?

Yeah.

Out the Mud. He sent me— I'm pretty sure he just like had it in his living room. Yeah, sounds about right, because I Venmo'd him directly, I think. Then he's like, got it, and then, and then just sent it to me.

Yeah, that sounds like Paul.

But it's, it's incredible. I mean, he's— it's incredible. He's been in the NBA for a while now and contributed.

And if he would have played more in that Pistons series against us, we would have been struggling. Yeah, uh, Paul's an unbelievable talent. Um, one of the most unique people though, like, just like so out there. Yeah. You're just like, what's up with Paul today? Like you just like don't really know where he is at. But then like he actually is there. Like he's a really smart kid. He just like doesn't handle it very well. But yeah, fuck, I love Paul. Yeah. And he's, he's like the same guy you want to play with. Like he's just going to show up and play hard and try to win.

Yeah.

Literally do everything you want somebody to do in basketball. He's just like, you're going to ask him for a defensive scheme. Like he'll just do it. Like he can't really talk to you about it, but he'll just do it and it'll work. Work. Yeah.

Isn't it kind of crazy that there's like— DePaul's not— I mean, how many games did you guys win in your last year?

It was like our most winning season in like the last 20 years.

So what, like 12 or 11?

I think it was 19.

I could buy— listen, DePaul, I mean, the, the renovations are going to be good.

Yeah, the new practice facility looks nice. Holtman's good though. I like what Holtman's doing.

I think he's good as well. I mean, they had a good season last year, like, for DePaul, like, getting back to a point where it's like it's not a 20-point blowout.

No, I was there a couple weeks ago. They'll be competitive. I mean, it's going to be better. They'll be competitive.

But it is kind of crazy that two NBA guys were on that team and it's like—

Should have been 3, honestly. We had another guy that probably could have played in the NBA, but he ended up hurting his wrist like the last game of the year. But I mean, we had that— my last year our team was like very talented.

Yeah.

We— when you look at it, we probably should have been in the tournament.

Yeah. Yeah.

We were like that year in the Big East, everybody was like 6-6 going in like last week or 8-8, whatever it is. And we were in like 6th place. We lost our last game of the season at Creighton and we went from 6th to 14th or 12th. Myself. And then that's what could happen. Yeah, you literally— everybody was in the same little pod, and then we lost the first game of the tournament and we were done.

That's it.

What's the difference between getting drafted in like late second round and then being a free agent where you can go get a workout for like any team?

Because I've never been drafted, so I don't know.

But in the NFL, we say like, players always talk about like, I wish I hadn't been drafted if they were picked in like the seventh round, because you get more control over like what might be a better fit for you.

That sort of thing. Basketball is kind of the same thing. I mean, second round picks now are basically just like two-ways. Yeah, what it like. Um, but that's kind of the situation I had. Like, I probably could have got drafted like late in the second round, but my agent wanted a better situation for me, like team-wise. So it was like, we'll just wait and see what our options are after the draft's over. And yeah, you kind of have your picking, like whoever you want to go to, like teams you worked out with, teams you think is going to be best fit for you. And you're able to like control your part of it a little more than just like going to a team and they draft you and now you're stuck with with them.

Yeah, I have a tough question for you. What's the, uh, the, the worst place to play on the road in terms of like the crowd, the stadium? What's the stadium that you fear?

Like as far as like it's shitty or like it's like a hard place to play?

A hard place to play.

Um, I mean, when Madison Square gets rocking, it's, it's pretty tough. I'd say Philly also can get that way and Boston, um, from my experience. I haven't really done much on the West Coast, uh, but those those three places can get loud.

What about Denver with the Mile High stuff? Is it— can you feel it?

Oh, yes. Yeah. From your—

yeah.

But like, as far as like the fans, it wasn't like that crazy. But like, yes, your stamina and things like that. Like, you're definitely tired. Yeah.

Also, Philly is pretty much like— that's New York because there's so many New York fans.

You basically pick New York twice.

Yeah.

Because they have jobs.

Philly's like, they'll say whatever to you. Like, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's bad. Like, they say some wild stuff.

Yeah.

Unless the Knicks are playing them, because then they'll say, well, then it's all— let's go. Yeah.

Yeah.

And then you're like, awesome.

This is sick.

Like, if the Knicks can be good one day, that place is going to go nuts, right?

Madison Square Garden.

This is us just trolling our entire booth right now.

Yeah, they're all— they're like not listening because we're getting— you get the thumbs down from the other Max. Hey, Max on Max, you want to ask Max a Max question?

Are you Maxwell Maximilian?

I'm straight up just Max.

Wow.

Whoa.

Yeah, I'm Maxwell.

You're cooler than me. All right.

That was cool. Max on Max. He's actually not even—

he's—

fake.

Well, my middle name. Middle name.

Yeah, but he goes by Max.

Yeah, your first name is Max, right?

Your real name is Max.

He's like appropriating your culture.

Yeah, I don't like that.

Did anyone ever call you Maxi Pad growing up?

Of course, I still get it to this day. I hate it.

It's Good Max on Max segment.

To the Max. Yeah. What other nicknames do you get— do you guys get growing up?

Maxi Pad's the worst.

Yeah, Maxi Pad.

It's really— everybody kind of just like stuck there.

It was like They think it's the first time you've ever heard it, right? And they think they're being so funny. It's, it's the easiest thing to come up with ever.

Or just like Maxi. I don't like Maxi either.

Like, I like, I like Maxi. All right, well, I like— he's like a big Maxi guy.

He's also a big toddler.

All right.

Yeah, yeah.

I also like Min.

It's like, what?

Min or Maxi?

Like minimum?

The opposite. You're just Min?

What?

Anyone ever call you Min?

I've never gotten that one.

I don't know where that one came I just came up with that on the spot.

Oh wow, that was a good new nickname drop. Yeah, that was crazy.

It's like Tiny.

It's like, yeah, I don't like it, but it sounds like we gotta do it. Yeah, man. Um, how many threes could you make in a row, or have you made in a row in a practice? No, no defense.

No defense. Uh, I think the most I've gotten is like 60-something.

Oh my God.

Yeah, that's a lot.

That's crazy.

Yeah, you really gotta like— it's more mentally than just like the shooting ability. Like, it's hard to focus when You're not— yeah, you're just like bored. You get bored, you know?

It's just, you get bored because you make so many threes in a row.

It's just like you do it every day, you know? You're like, all right, like, it just makes routine.

Yeah, that's a very cool feeling.

Do you, you, you know right away if a shot's in, right? Usually, yeah. Has there ever been like a big one that surprised you?

Uh, probably the, the half-court shot I made against Dallas. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, that one surprised me. But I'm not gonna lie to you, I think I did know that that was had a really good chance of going. I didn't say I like knew, but it was like online and it felt awesome.

Yeah.

When you guys play against the Celtics, are you like, hey, don't let Peyton Pritchard shoot in the last half second of a quarter? Yes.

That's part of the game plan. That's actually a talked about thing.

It should be.

Is it talked about with—

Yeah, you know where the ball's going to. Yeah.

Is it talked about with Jokic at the last second of a quarter that he's trying to get a foul?

Oh yeah.

Yeah.

Oh yeah.

Because that's—

All that stuff is like documented. Yeah. Everybody knows about those things.

Yeah. How detailed is like is like the film study before a game?

Regular season? Not much. You'd be surprised. Yeah, regular season's kind of just like, you play every other day. So like it's, you know, before the game you'll do like a personnel report, but it's not like, let's lock in and get dialed in on this. Like it's just like, this is what his tendencies are and try to make him not do what he's good at.

Right. So how much longer is that in the playoffs?

It's way more. So much more.

How much time do you spend in the playoffs making adjustments? Adjustments?

Every day. I mean, all day, every day.

Yeah.

In the game, the next day, your first like 2 days before the series starts, it's like personnel, but you're like watching clips. You're like really dial in on what they do, what they're good at. And then from there on, it's like, all right, we were forcing this guy left. He's been killing us going left. Let's, you know, try something else this time. So it's like every game, it's like something new happens. Like that's, that's the playoffs is adjustments. Like the whole time.

Has there been a game plan that you can remember that that went like perfectly according to plan, you win the game and you're like, damn, that was actually great job by the scouts?

Yeah, yeah, several times. Um, what would be a good one? Honestly, when I was in Miami, we played, uh, Harden in Philly, and like our scouting report on him was, was pretty good. We kind of just like forced him right, and you're giving away the scouting report. Yeah, I don't want to give it away too much because it was like, he's on my team. Yeah.

What about the other way?

But he fixed that. He fixed it. You know, you can't do that.

You can't do anymore.

He took that. Actually, you helped him get better.

Yes.

He's like, yeah, hey, I appreciate that.

He thanks me every day he sees me.

Yeah.

Yeah.

What about the other way? Has there been a scouting report where you're like, okay, we've got a great game plan. And then during the game you're like, well, this isn't working.

Yeah. I think the whole Knicks series.

Yeah.

Yeah. It's hard to game plan against that.

Yeah.

Just like, yeah, it's the game plan is like stop a dog.

Yeah.

Did you— tough to do.

Did you recognize that chair? Did you walk by that chair?

I did see the chair.

Yeah, that was the one that Taylor Swift was sitting in.

Came through. How much you pay for that?

Uh, we don't have to talk about it.

I think it's $5,000.

We don't have to talk about it.

Wow.

There's no reason to talk about that kind of stuff.

All right. I mean, have you had—

I was, I was about to say, how much do you make? But you could look it up. Fuck.

This is— if somebody asks you, just be like, that's so tacky to ask.

Yeah, come on, man. If you have to ask, you can't afford it. Exactly. Why did you, uh, headbutt Scotty Barnes?

That wasn't a headbutt.

It was kind of a headbutt, Max.

It was not meant to hit him in the head.

Was it a nuzzle? Were you nuzzling?

I was just trying to— yeah, just, I just wanted to, you know, assert my presence. I just wanted to know that I was there, you know. I was having a good game. I was, I was feeling myself a little bit. I just wanted him to like, no, I was, you know, I'm still right here.

Yeah, you hit him with the ponytail.

Yeah, yeah, the man bun.

Yeah, you kind of, you kind of like wiped his face with like a man ball.

Kind of a weapon.

Yeah, it was.

Yeah.

I don't think he liked it very much, so it worked.

I'm watching it. I think you can— I'm going to count that as headbutt. That's an official headbutt.

Yeah. When I went back and looked at it, it doesn't look good. But in the moment, I was not trying to headbutt him.

Yeah, that's fair.

That's fair.

Because when you look at it, I probably should have got kicked out of the game. Like when you look at it, it does look bad.

Yeah.

But that was not my intention.

But then I guess you could be like, hey, but it's— he's got a man bun. Like, how much damage could he do, right?

You know, with his head.

Like, he's—

that's another thing me and Max, we got in.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The Maxes have the man bun. Do you, do you sit— do you have a high ass crack? Max does. His ass crack's always showing.

It's abnormally high.

Yeah.

No, I don't think my ass crack.

Do you have a normal, a regular?

Yes, I think so.

Okay.

Do you get, uh, do you sit crisscross applesauce?

Like, never. I can't even do that.

Oh wow.

It's just a name. It doesn't mean anything.

Well, no, he pointed out that you have a man bun. You weren't listening. I was. What were we talking about? What were we talking about right before that?

Yeah, if I had a hand— if I had a man bun.

But what about that? Who did he hit with the man bun?

Uh, no, you would, you would have said it already if you had.

Scottie Barnes.

Oh, as a future face of this league.

Not anymore, not anymore, because Max's hair's all over it. Yeah. Um, if there's one team in the East that like maybe hasn't been that good in the passed and you're looking at like, hey, that team is probably going to be much better than we've seen next season. What team would you pick for that?

Toronto.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Same. Well, like another team.

I think everybody else is like kind of known at this point in the East, right?

Maybe like an up and coming, like they had like the first pick or something.

No, I don't, don't lead them.

I'm not leading them.

Don't lead them.

I'm saying maybe, maybe.

No, I'm just curious. I said maybe if they had the first pick. If there's any young teams in the East that have been very bad for a long time that you're looking at. Maybe that's— maybe next season they won't be that bad anymore.

Do you think the Wizards are going to be good?

I do.

Yeah.

Whoa, that's crazy. Why would you say the Wizards?

But that's not— my question wasn't about the Wizards necessarily. Yeah, it sounds like you went there though. So you think the Wizards are going to be better?

I got some hints. Um, I— they'll be better. I don't know if they'll be good though.

Yeah, that's fine.

Better is good. Better is—

yeah, better is maybe win 20 games.

They should. 25, maybe 25.

I'm thinking, you know how long it's been since they won 50 games?

I don't.

Since they invented the 3-point line.

Really?

Long time.

Yeah.

John Wall and Brad Beal never—

I think they got 49. I think they got 48 or 49, but no, not 50.

Yeah. Stop that.

We're full. Well, we got too good at the sport and then the NBA changed the rules. Like, let's add in a Mickey Mouse 3-point shot. Yeah. All to stop the Wizards, I guess the Bullets at the time.

I was going to say, were you still the Bullets?

Still the Bullets.

Exactly.

RIP the Bullets. Yeah. All right. Well, that blew up in my face a little bit. Tell me about the Raptors, though. We do like the Raptors. They are They are a fun team.

I think getting Kawhi helps. I mean, people don't give the Cavs credit for what we did in the playoffs. Like, everybody's like, oh, you went to 7 games then, but like, Toronto was a good team. Like, Toronto, and like, they had, you know, Brandon Ingram got hurt and they had guys like step up and like, their, their defense was phenomenal. And I think adding Kawhi to that is only going to help. And I think Scottie Barnes is a very good basketball player and he's going to be very good for a long time. So yeah, I just think that they're moving right along like the trajectory— trajectory—

holy shit, you got it.

Yeah, of where they should be going and where they're going to be good. So I think they have potential.

Yeah.

All right. So we have one— I got one last question. Again, your pickleball tournament, there still are tickets available. Use SPEC15 and you can get 15% off. So for spectator passes available for the pickleball event. Yeah. And you can see Max, who does not have a duper, compete in this.

Uh, we did not check dupers for anybody, so I don't know if anybody—

Oh, you're gonna get some sandbaggers.

Yeah, yeah, there might be some dupers.

Yeah. Uh, but Kate's gonna be there. We're gonna— I might try to stop by. I gotta see if I can get back in town, uh, fast enough for—

Yeah, we got the coffee, we got Stella.

Yeah, still blues will be there. So they're doing great stuff. So, so go right now, uh, to the Max Drews Family Foundation and SPEC15 for 15% off. An awesome event.

Yeah, all you can drink too. Bar's open. Open.

Come on.

Perfect. Yeah, 10 to 2, all you can drink.

It's perfect. Uh, all right, so Roback question. rhoback.com, promo code TAKE, 20% off your first purchase. Q-zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts. Roback.com, promo code TAKE. Zach, your last question for Max.

How are we doing today, Max? I did have a quick question. Uh, I do want to say congratulations on your playoff run last year. Uh, that was pretty strong. Uh, but I was curious, uh, it felt like when you guys got to the Eastern Conference Final and it did start to slip away a little but you made sure to stay in a competitive headspace the entire time. Uh, what kind of goes into that? How did you keep your foot on the gas even when it started to fade?

Great question.

Great question. He's also a Knicks fan, so that was kind of a— that was a fake nice question.

Yeah, it was like a compliment.

Go through how you stayed locked in when we kicked your ass.

Yeah, yeah, I mean, they, they did kick our ass.

Yeah.

Um, that's just how I'm wired. I mean, that's just that's how I've always played the game is like, you don't stop until it's over. And I'm going to compete as hard as I can and try to do what I can to help our team win. And that's, that's what I can control. So I just like kind of stay in that mindset of like, this is what I need to do. This is my job at this given moment and try to do that to the best of my ability to help our team win. And unfortunately, that wasn't helping much.

Good question.

But I appreciate the question.

Yeah. Do you have a follow-up?

Zach? Uh, do you hit the tweeners on the pickleball court, or are you usually just forehand, backhand?

Forehand, backhand.

Gotcha. Yeah, keep it very simple. I just try to keep it in play, make the other person make a mistake. Okay, that's really the whole point. Yeah, it's really smart, just like ping pong.

Yeah, that's it. Um, all right, well, Max, thank you. Uh, thank you. Great having you stop by. And everyone do check it out, it's a great event, 10 to 2, all you can drink, and, uh, play some pickleball. Absolutely not.

It's gonna be a great time. Yeah. Yes, thank you for having me.

Yeah, hopefully you're still on the Cavs when we run this. We'll see.

We shall see.

I hope you're on the Wizards.

That would be awesome.

Then they're going to be good next year.

The missing piece.

Yeah.

Max Roos is brought to you by Bluetooth. Guys, quarterbacks don't retire because they got old. They retire because they refuse to adapt. And some of you are doing the same thing in the bedroom. You used to have a cannon. Now you're out there playing with deflated balls.

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Okay, let's wrap up the show. Fire Fest of the week. My pre-Fire Fest is I'm going to miss the fuck out of Max for the next 2 weeks. 2 weeks is a long-ass time, dude.

Yeah.

Unlimited vacation. Take advantage.

Yeah.

Hank, your Fire Fest.

My Fire Fest is that I think I'm in the clear, but this morning I was very close to getting phish scammed by my mom.

Oh, what happened?

Uh, oh, Business Pete put her up to it.

Well, he was the first person I texted. I woke up, checked my phone, and had—

that's a bad day when the first person you text is Old Business Pete.

I had an email from my mom, and it was like an invitation, and like, I don't know where that— I got, I got a family wedding coming up. Like, I just, I didn't really think about it. It was like from my mom's email an invitation. I clicked the link and then the link didn't load, so I like exited it out. And then I saw like my phone was on do not disturb, so I didn't see the text messages from my mom, like texting my family being like, don't open an email for me, I got hacked. And at that point I'd already clicked into it. I did not put my information in, so I think I'm in the clear. But it was a, it was a, it was, we do so much phishing training and like there's so many scams going on that I've pretty good at besides the toll one. And so that was, that was just a tough morning where it's like it's not coming from, you know, work or anything. It's, it's, it's from within. It's from the fam.

Yeah, that's tough because that would— that's definitely one that you would fall for.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You got to have a code, a code word.

What do you mean?

Like if it's actually me, I'll say this code code word.

What do you mean?

Like with your parents?

Well, it's just an email.

It was an email. I know, but in the email they could use a code word if it's real.

Every email has to have the code word in it.

Sign off with the code word.

Yeah, I think I'm good. But if you see—

if there's any— I'd try to help.

Anything that comes up this weekend, I may or may not have gotten that.

What was the email? Was it Spotify? Was she asking you to vote for her?

No, it was an invitation.

Oh, ah, that's fucked.

And like, we had like— I'm going to like a wedding in September, like my cousin's wedding. So I just like kind of assumed it was somehow tied into that or something.

I don't know.

That's fucked.

Okay, PFT, my Fire Fest, it's tied into what I talked about on, on Wednesday's show. Jerry O'Connell is now officially back in. Okay, the fantasy group for the, for the draft planning, which is great because he's doing this fantasy preview with us next week. And the draft is coming up very shortly here. So I introduced him. First of all, I finally got a call back from him at like 5:00 PM the day that we recorded that show. Turns out Jerry got a new phone. Oh, and it's also an Android. So of course, deep web shit automatically kicked him out of that group chat.

I don't know why.

So he got the new phone. I reintroduced him back. We— I was looking back through the history of this group chat for the last like 2 weeks. It's been blue dots. People have been emphasizing, oh yeah, and everyone's free to do whatever they want. We've had a fantastic time. Time in the group chat over the last 2 weeks. I dropped Jerry back in there and immediately turns green. I had to apologize. Sorry about the green bubble. We had some nice blue ones there for a while. And so immediately Jerry jumps back in, starts spamming the group chat with pictures of him with celebrities and, um, saying— now he's trying to say that we can't raise the buy-in for the team this year. Direct quote: Guys, please do not raise the buy-in. A lot of my Pokémon cards have lost their value. And then people replied like, lol, crying face. And Jerry goes, not a joke. So Jerry's trying to talk them off of raising the bar.

I want to raise it. We'll raise it. Yeah, we'll fund it.

We can raise it.

We'll fund it.

It's not a problem. I already told him that I'm willing to foot the bill. So Jerry's back in the group chat and he's, you know, as Jerry does, dominating, which means that there's just a shitload of green coming across and it's just, it's just Jerry making a lot of jokes. Yeah, just cracking a lot of jokes. Jokes. And so that's been blowing up my phone. But I'm glad that we are back in. Yeah.

Problem solved. Fuck yes. Fuck yes. We're back. OK, I've had a pretty good week. I mean, the book— book launch has been awesome. Thank you, everyone who's bought.

Can I give you a fire fest for the book launch? Yeah. Big Cat has kind of like dubbed himself customer relations at Target and Barnes Noble now.

What do you mean?

When you're like, I talk to people, they're out of books right now, but they should be getting some back in.

Well, no, I went.

Yeah. In the next— in the next—

yeah, I went. I went. Went. And I was like, because I, I like going and signing it for people. And, uh, I went to Barnes Noble, they're like, it's all sold out. I was like, fuck, when are you getting more? What are you gonna say, memes?

How—

I got a DM. Are you signing these with pens from inside the Target?

Uh, oh yeah, I opened up a Sharpie pack and then just left it. Yeah, someone said there was just an open— I realized that after. I meant to go pay for the Sharpie pack, the Sharpies. Sharpies. And then I was like, I was late to the shoot we had yesterday. And then as I got there, I was like, oh fuck, I didn't pay for the Sharpie. It was one single Sharpie in a pack. My bad, Target. Hand up. But I did, I did sign those books. But yeah, it's been fun. Thank you everyone who's bought. Keep buying. We really appreciate it. The, the, the guy who pointed out that we— I think it was in the 9th page, I opened up a parenthesis and never closed it. So everything past the 9th page is a clarification of the first 8 pages.

That's the part of my book difference, including this podcast.

Yeah, yeah, everything there. Uh, but yeah, my Fyre Fest— I, I bet— yeah, great week. Got the big check, that was cool. Brought my own big check. I am a little like— winning 2 times on 50/50, I now expect to win, which is a ridiculous thing in my head where I, I was like, yeah, I'm gonna win again. So then I get a little bummed out. But my real Fyre Fest is we went— so we're at the Internet Invitational last week, we flew back on Thursday. We actually flew back with our good friend Andrew Santino, and Zach got to meet Andrew Santino, talk to him. I was like, Zach, ask him anything. I found out afterwards Zach didn't ask him everything he wanted to ask him. Why? Turn on your mics.

It's okay.

What did you say to Max?

We might have to put Zach on the couch just so you hear his reaction.

Yeah.

And he turns to me, you're the worst guy ever.

Yeah, I didn't think he was.

I thought maybe that we We could work this offline.

I didn't bring this online.

I don't really know what we're talking about. Uh, Andrew Santino, uh, Bad Friends, great show, out on all platforms— Apple, Spotify, YouTube. Great guy, Andrew Santino, shout out to him.

All right, so I won't get into details, but if you were to say, uh, you can't pick Bobby or Andrew Santino as your favorite parts of the Bad Friends podcast, what would be your third favorite or one first favorite?

I'll go with Fancy in the Booth. Oh, shout out to him, great guy. Wait, he's a film producer, does a lot of fun videos.

Who else is in the booth?

Uh, they got—

they— I think they have like a 3-man booth.

All men?

Yeah, the booth. Yeah, a lot of men in the booth. Yeah, shout out to the booth.

Do they have any producers?

They got— they got recurring guests. Uh, I think the lady who plays in the band on Kill Tony is recurring, uh, Once Upon a Time.

What about the girl who's obsessed with eating on crustables? That, uh we could maybe have you go out on a date with.

Oh, no, she sits on the inflatable couches. That's not the booth.

Oh, yeah.

Great show. What a show. You guys should all check it out. It's a great show.

I don't know. She loves Uncrustables.

Great. I will say great snack choice.

Yeah.

Uncrustables. Fantastic sandwich.

You have great eyes.

I've got a— I actually have a— I don't know if I have any more because I did move. I did have an Uncrustable puncher so I could make Uncrustables at home.

Oh, you had your own?

Yeah. They make ones you can just punch them out.

Fuck yeah.

Yeah. So you could do with ham and cheese and peanut butter and jelly.

Sounds like you guys would make a great couple.

I, I— great show. They, they run a great program there. We've got quite the program here, and we're friends with each other. The program is true.

Yeah, we should do a collab. Yeah.

Okay, shout out to, uh, thanks for being a bad friend.

Yeah, shout out to guys— Santino, Bobby, and what's her name again?

Uh, Rudy Jewels, her name. Yeah, Rudy.

Yeah, yeah, shout out to her as well, and everyone in the booth, but everyone on the inflatable couch.

Are we shouting her out equally?

Yes, right?

Yeah, yeah, everybody on the program, great job.

How big of a shout out should Rudy Jules get?

You tell us because he just says such funny stuff off mic.

Of course he does. What do you— he said my Fire Fest of the week is fucking Max. Yeah, it's Max. What did Max do?

Listen, this is what I— I didn't know he was bringing this to the show.

You told—

this is what I'm gonna— I'm gonna point this out. I'm gonna point this out. We are here.

You're an untrustworthy member of this booth. This booth is not safe and it's 99% of the reason is you.

I was trying to help. I was trying to help. We get it. We get into the car on the way home from the plane, and Zach goes, I was thinking the whole time of how I could ask if she was single.

That's not what happened. Now we're taking facts and spinning them.

But then he was like, I did— he was like, I never got there. I was like, we can make this happen. I'll text Big Cat, who will text Santino. And all of that was supposed to be offline. I didn't bring this online.

But then—

oh, you think you can bring that to Big Cat?

Yeah, what are you— all right, no, but he brought it to me, and then I did call— I called Santino and I said, hey, And Santino is a massive fan of you, Zach. He's like, that was so funny being able to chop it up with him.

I was nervous for that. I'm a big fan of Andrew.

Yeah, I explained to him the situation and he said bring it up on PMT so then we can play it on Bad Friends and we can have a little exchange back and forth. So that's what this is right now.

I had no idea of any of this, Big Cat. Yes, I had no idea that any of this was happening.

He had no idea.

All I did was say to Mac, oh, breaking news.

Oh no, James James Harden has agreed to a new 3-year, $97 million contract with the Cavs.

Oh, all right.

Yeah, that was tough. Huge for the Cavs.

All right.

Yeah.

Santino, what do you think about the James Harden extension? Oh, break that down too. Gross. Can we get a zoom in? Does that camera zoom in on Zach's beautiful eyes? Unfortunately, Zach, can you just look at the camera though?

Go on, PP. See what's up, Rudy Jules.

Go sit on the couch.

Go sit on the couch. Go sit on the couch.

Oh yeah, she sits on the couch. You sit on the couch.

Yeah, there's a pretty cool kind of inflatable. Ours is more standard.

But dude, this would actually be like huge if we— if we just—

he just goes, I hope it rains in Italy.

If we combine two podcasts through marriage, would be incredible.

Yeah, consolidate power. That's how they used to do it back in medieval times. Have a seat, Zach. Zach, look into the camera. Show those baby blues Show the baby blues off, Zach.

Looking great.

Good show, guys. Yeah, numbers.

Uh, no, you have a fire camera.

Look at the camera.

Oh yeah, look at the fire. Look at the camera. See it? Nope. You know where it is.

There it is.

You look good, toucan.

How do you feel? You're happy Max is going on vacation?

The way— yeah, listen, the way that came up is we, we were on the— we were chopping it up as guys do in travel. He— Andrew's asking dating questions.

Wins.

So like, oh Max, I— what a bummer. I should have— that was like a perfect segue to just shoot the shot through via Andrew.

Yeah, because he was asking you about your dating life.

Yes, that's that. And also to Max, I definitely said to Max in like a not hot mic situation, but now we're here. Uh, yeah, uh, never—

fuck Max. Yeah, fuck—

no, shout out to Max. I hope you have a great time in Italy.

You just said you hope it rains.

Yeah, but yeah, that's— but it's a—

because it's so wet, but it's a honeymoon.

You guys aren't going outside.

Sex vacation. Yeah, you want to be outside.

Not a sex in the rain. Probably pretty—

you're having Sex vacation. Yeah.

Max and Zach, you also have a little bit in your Fyre Fest is fucking Max. Mm-hmm. There's a bit of that going around for the next 2 weeks.

Isn't the culture of Italy having sex the horniest people in the world?

That's not true.

Okay, so balls and sex.

This is good thing.

Sounds awful.

It is a good thing.

Yeah. Croissant, sex, maybe conception. Okay, to be cool.

Oh, wow. He's wishing a baby on you.

All right. But this is a good thing.

Zach, because now we have the wishing a baby on a man on the honeymoon.

That's crazy. It's a beautiful thing.

Start a family. Little Max.

Rudy Jules is going to see this. They're like, hey, this guy's funny. You know, he's got great eyes.

They call Little Max Min.

Mm-hmm.

Great nickname.

Great nickname. Do you have a Fire Fest?

Yes, sir. My, my Fire Fest of the week is just my neighbors may or may not be having the most sex possible. Oh, like my neighbors are fucking boys. And it's like, wait, wait. I'm not fucking. My neighbors are fucking.

What did you— that could be—

oh, I was saying, yeah, that's— I didn't put a comma in the speech there.

That's not a comma.

Not a grammar pod.

Sorry, not a grammar pod at all.

Fucking high man.

They're like— they're having way too much fun. They are just with adults. And it's— yeah, yeah, them two consent— this is— that's crazy. Yes, two consensual adults in the apartment next to me.

Do you live on an island?

It's like a contact sport they're running in there. Like, these two are running Oklahoma drills with orgasms. PFT. It's unreal.

Big Cat, you taking questions?

Yes, sir. Floor's open to Qs.

So you're listening to your neighbors having sex. You aren't— it's being forced upon you.

Yeah, well, not— but look, what they do in their own space is their business. But it's like audibly—

I have a two-part question.

Okay.

Is it hot?

I don't know. I Have— no, but they're having a great time.

What did—

are they good looking?

Have you listened?

I have no choice. No, like knock on the door?

No, solo. Have you gone—

are you asking if I'm pulling a cuck move with my—

no.

Are you jerking off to listen?

No, no, no, I'm usually headphones in.

Have you thought about it though?

No, no.

Okay, all right.

If anything, it's like, damn, so there are people just out there having so much sex.

See, Rudy Jules, great guy.

I think technically you're participating in the threesome every time that happens.

Yeah, that's not true. We just— square footage-wise, we're close.

Yeah, real close.

There's a wall.

Have you seen the beam installation?

I haven't. No, I haven't run into them at all.

Oh, because this could change. And then what if they are hot?

That's the thing. I don't— they like— that's what hot people do, right? Just have sex all the time. So like, I thought maybe they could be. But yeah, shout out to them. I mean, it's weird times too. Like, usually it's like nighttime. Time, but we get home late sometimes, and I've been just like in the bed, like, all right, time to go to bed, throw the YouTube on, get a snack. It's like, you guys are fucking at 3 AM.

They, they wait for you.

That's— that can't be the case.

That is absolutely the case. They wait to hear your door close, and then they're like, he's home now, we'll give him a show.

Well, then that should be a crime. They shouldn't be able to do that.

I don't disagree, but just so you know, you— that is— that's what's happening.

But it's also been like, I've been folding clothes on the bed like middle of the day, weekend, and they're just like having the time of their lives.

Are you, are you hearing more of like a furniture sound or is it the people's voices?

No, PFT, I'm hearing body contact, like it's a joint practice.

You're hearing thwacking, like skin on skin.

Are you hearing—

and also shout out to that guy because it sounds like a tennis match. It sounds like, yeah, tennis match.

It does.

It's definitely going on. Yeah, yeah.

Wow. Are you, you're hearing this Oh, look. Oh, is that what it sounds like?

Oh, well, congratulations to that guy and that couple. Oh, but I will say that the middle of the day thing made me think it wasn't on the up and up, like it was like, like adultery. Yeah, maybe I'm thinking too far into it, but I don't know. So yeah, my Fire Fest of the week is just, uh, I'm sorry, Zach.

I didn't mean for this. I didn't mean for this to go online. I promise I didn't.

That's a very fair Fire Fest.

I'll get back. It's just on the— it's just us in here.

Right?

Yeah, but I didn't.

Nobody listens to the show, you're fine.

Yeah, you're good.

Numbers, we're totally good. All right, numbers. 5 first. 5.

55.

5.

63.

See you in court.

8.

5.

I'm gonna go with 74.

Come on, it's hitting.

Nope.

91.

Did you say 8?

8 for Colton.

Colton won 8, so if this goes 69, we're gonna— it's gonna be devastating. 88%.

1. Come on, 5.

Come on, 8.

60.

60.

Not 69. Don't worry. Were you worried it was 69?

All right, one more.

Last one.

63. Last one.

See you, Max.

Love you.

Absolutely.

I'll be back soon.

Are you gonna bring us presents?

Yeah. Oh yeah, for sure.

Sorry, Travels.

I'm sorry. I didn't— I didn't mean for this to happen.

What if LeBron gets traded?

That's why I'm bringing my microphone.

It's a good man.

Oh, 97. Oh, love you guys.

Happy birthday to Alex Cooper and Sister Jean.

Nice, what a duo.

The big two. RIP Sister Jean. RIP. Also happy birthday to Will Chamberlain. Might be Zach's neighbor.

Is this Will Chamberlain?

Happy birthday to Adam Thielen and happy birthday to Dua Lipa and Bill Parcells. Love you guys.

Forget anyone?

I don't think so, but maybe you can tell me.

No, I have no idea.

Okay, but I like that you just questioned yourself when I said that. I said I don't think so. No, questioned.

But then you said, why don't you tell me?

Yeah, it sounded like he had something to say. I'm sorry, I got nothing to say. Sorry, Zach.

Sorry.

Whoop.

Sleep better, train smarter, recover faster, and feel healthier. Understand and optimize optimize your sleep, get coaching and insights for every age, stage, and cycle, track over 140 habits, get a 360 view of your training and workouts. Never miss a second of that with a wireless and waterproof charger. Expect all new features all the time. Whoop. Sleep better, train smarter, recover faster, and feel healthier. Understand and optimize your sleep. Get coaching and insights for every age, stage, and cycle. Track over 140 habits. Get a 360 view of your training and workouts. Never miss a second of data with a wireless and waterproof charger. Expect all new features all the time.