Transcript of NFL Preview With Pete Prisco, Players On New Teams, The 49ers Have An Extra Wide Receiver, CFB Week 0 + Mt Rushmore Of Heavy Things

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New episodes of Surviving Barstool will be released Every Sunday and Wednesday leading up to the Labor Day finale on September 7th. You can watch Surviving Barstool at 5 PM on Rumble Premium and everywhere else at 8 PM Eastern. On today's Pardon My Take presented by DraftKings, we are back in studio and we've got real football games to talk about. Week 0 in college football took place on Saturday. It was good to see some real football games in action. We have our good friend Pete Prisco to get you pumped up for the NFL season. We are 2 Sundays away, 2 Sundays away. Scott Hanson sends that tweet and it makes me feel something. Cut day in the NFL. Who's back of the week? And Mount Rushmore is now down to 2. PFT popped that bottle. He has been deemed safe Pop that ass on him. Yep. It is now Hank versus Zach. And it's set up that Hank, if he wins one of the next 2, there will be no finale on Friday. Come on, Zach can win these next 2. We will have a Mount Rushmore duel off on Friday. So we're gonna do the Mount Rushmore heavy things after Prisco.

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Hey, football guy.

Patino.

AWS.

Barn at my take. Yeah, barn at my take. Yeah, barn at my take. Yeah, barn at my take. Yeah, barn at my take.

Welcome to Pardon My Take presented by DraftKings. The crown is yours. Today is Monday, August 31st, and PFT football is back and preseason football is over. We had cut day in the NFL and I am really sad to inform everyone here that De'Jon Love did not make the 53-man roster of the San Francisco 49ers.

That's all right.

Love finds a way. Yeah, he'll bounce back.

For people who have missed this story, it has taken over the internet.

It is—

I actually, I, we haven't talked about it. We, we, we were, we were all in different locations on, on this weekend. So we have not talked about it. But, uh, to, to sum it up for anyone who's missed it, De'Jon Love is an internet scammer who essentially pretended that he was an NFL player for the last however many years and, uh, scammed over— the FBI arrested him and he, he's alleged to have scammed $1.3 million from various women. And it is so funny because if you are someone who watches the NFL, like everyone who listens to the show and all of us in this room, you just saw one clip of this guy and you're like, yeah, he is not an NFL player, but he somehow kept this scam going. I guess, I guess it just shows if you carry around a helmet with you everywhere you go, people might assume you're in the NFL.

I mean, maybe, maybe you didn't buy it. I thought that was a crispy route and he was wearing a 49ers helmet. He was like, where else? Well, he not only had that helmet in the car working out, playing football.

Yeah, I think it wasn't the route. It was when he had the helmet with him in the car that I was like, oh shit, this guy's legit.

That's what ballplayers do. I— they wake up, they go— they walk, rather have the cook with the helmet on. Some guys sleep with it on. It was just essentially him having a helmet, owning a couple of footballs, and then wearing the color red a lot. Like everything.

Instagram. He curated his Instagram to look like an NFL player.

I initially was like, this guy is such a piece of shit.

I'm like, I'm not going to talk to him.

piece of shit. He's a scumbag. He's scamming people. I have to say that I turned and I think I'm a fan of his. If DeJohn Love has only one fan, it's me. If he has no fans, I'm dead. When I saw that he, he got so deep, he did a fake Thanksgiving turkey giveaway for his charity. I was like, this is now funny.

Did you see the football camp?

Yeah, he had a football camp. He had a turkey giveaway. Like, He got so into, I'm an NFL player, that he's like, I even have to do a turkey giveaway Thanksgiving time because that's what NFL players do.

Did he have like an alma mater? Did he have a fake college that he also went to?

Well, he was hurt.

He was hurt.

He hurt his pinky. I don't know if you saw, but he couldn't close it. He did a video where he's like, you see this? And he like half closed his hand. He's like, I can't close my pinky more than this. And then he showed his other hand. He's like, see, I can make a fist. The first guy ever who has been— who went undrafted, didn't play in college because he hurt his pinky. Also, I don't know if you guys know this, but when you sign with an NFL team, they make you do a physical but also a mental evaluation, psychological evaluation, and emotional evaluation. I did see that for people who know ball.

I did see that. And he also had a fake financial advisor. Yes, that was part of the scam. So we had the way that he scammed Mostly women out of money was he would meet up with them, go on a date. They'd think that maybe they were dating a football player because they didn't know how to do a Google search on the guy.

Well, and also he brought his helmet to the dinner.

As one does. Yeah, sure.

No, Google, he like, he like beat the algorithm by like making it his Instagram bio. So if you Googled him.

Yeah, yeah.

The quick, like quick Google results said he's a player on the 49ers.

Yeah, the AI summary because he fed it so hard with his Instagram account. faked the AI summary, fooled it. So it did appear that he might have been a player, but you could just look him up like it's, it's free to look up the roster.

They keep—

these are public information.

Correct.

In the rosters that they have. So they weren't— I guess the women would go on dates with him. They'd just be like, oh, this is awesome. I knew I was— I knew I was waiting out for Mr. Right and it finally happened. Now I got an NFL player.

Yeah.

And then he would have his financial advisor around who was an 18-year-old man, I believe. Or yeah, I guess man, like 18 years old. And then he would act like he was talking to his financial advisor, introduce them to one of these women, be like, you know, he usually only deals with, with upscale clientele and, you know, minimum deposit of $10 million. But since you're with me, I can get you in. And so they would just kind of bleed his dates dry investing in a fake financial situation with an 18-year-old kid that was his best friend.

Yeah, we did. Listen, we failed as a podcast. We need to get more women listening to PMT because I feel like we could have helped them avoid this because It's just such a funny— watching all these stories come out again, if you watch any football and you just see his body, his body is not a football player's body. Like, it's not like he's fat, but he's just— he has no muscle tone that a football player has.

Yeah.

The route he ran in the sand was so slow. He was doing like high knees in another clip I saw that was so slow. And then, and then you have like juxtaposed with— did you guys see the clip of Myles Garrett and Will Anderson doing box jumps?

Yeah.

And they literally look like they're levitating.

Like, that's gravity.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You see an NFL player and how different they move. And then you see De'Jon Love running a slow route in with his foot. He had his foot the wrong way as a wide receiver.

So the funniest part of this route that he ran in the sand was him and I guess his personal trainer or his coach before he runs this route. They sit there and they map this route out on a football like they're taking a lot of time. He's like, I want you to do this. Yeah, this, this and this on this route. And then he just kind of runs like 2 steps and then barely turns to the right.

Yep.

Always got his helmet on. Always has his helmet with him.

Keep that thing on.

He actually traded himself to the Rams. I don't know if you saw that recently break.

I mean, it's a tough business.

Yeah, but he's still close to the Bay.

Yeah, he's close to the Bay. And he had, he had other options coming out of college, even though he couldn't produce one. There was a, there was a text message that I saw that a woman who clearly knew football Like he was trying to trap her and she was just like, oh, that's awesome. You play football. Can I see some of your highlights? And he's like, I don't have any. I've been injured. She's like, oh, but you have highlights from college, right? He's like, no, I was injured in college. She's like, oh, so you, you're in the NFL and you didn't play a down in college? He's like, why are you pressing me? Yeah, I mean, she crushed the private workout. The emotional part of the workout.

Yeah, listen, I had, I had a great Wonderlic score.

All right.

Now, yeah, Taylor Jamie Chan, his 18-year-old financial advisor, picked off $1.3 mil. I'm excited to see the documentary that's going to come out about this guy.

Oh, it will be incredible.

Nonzero chance he ends up in Congress.

Incredible.

Yeah, kind of the career path.

It's just going to be— it's going to be so fucking good to watch this all. Like when we can get talking to some of these people again. The turkey Thanksgiving giveaway just changed everything in my mind. I was like, this guy sucks. And I was like, holy shit, this guy, I think he might actually think he's in the league.

There's a lot of women that came forward, but there's probably also a lot of women that were just too embarrassed.

Oh yeah.

But like, oh yeah, we're like, fuck.

Did anybody go to this turkey giveaway? Did anybody show up?

I don't know.

And be like, hey, where's the turkeys?

1,500 turkey giveaway, free event.

That should have been a red flag.

Live DJ music and fun.

You know how much 1,500 turkeys cost? That's a shitload of money for a guy that's been injured for the last couple of years.

He also—

I don't know if you guys saw, but he— so he, he reposted clips that other people, actual NFL players posted. He had one that was supposed to be from the 49ers locker room that was just so clearly the Chiefs locker room. It was just the Chiefs logo on the ground. And it was, it was so obvious it wasn't the 49ers. So He wasn't like this mastermind. He was just— he just got— he got some people that we need to get our ball knowledge up as a country so that we can stop people like this.

What's the difference between what he's doing? Because I want to take a side.

Well, Stephen Jackson, did you see he came out? It was like, you guys are all laughing at him. It's no different than you're wearing a jersey on a Sunday.

That's what I was going to say. We're anti-jersey on this podcast.

Quite a zag. Like, that's what it is.

But my other real question is, Like, what's different about what— what's his name? Daquan?

De'Jon Love.

De'Jon Love. What's the difference between what De'Jon Love is doing for the 49ers and what Brandon Aiyuk is doing for the Commanders?

There's a lot of those jokes going around. JJ McCarthy.

Yeah.

Like, you know, guys showing up and pretending to be— but yeah, Brandon Aiyuk is definitely—

what?

That's— I mean, also think about it.

If you want to go— if you want to go real conspiracy theory, fingers up. The 49ers have had a hell of an offseason, have they not? Or last month, Kyle Shanahan gets in a car accident that doesn't get reported for a couple of weeks. Guys get injured. Jed York gets arrested in East Palestine looking to hook up. This is kind of the perfect story to be like, yeah, hey, let's laugh at this. Hey, the 49ers are actually the victims.

Yeah.

Type in 49ers scandal and that's probably— yeah, right. Thing going right now. Yeah.

Do that right now. Type it in on Google.

This is honestly—

it's a feel-good story.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I mean, obviously feel bad for the ladies that got—

I hope they get their money back. Yeah, that part sucks.

That does stink. But all in all, kind of lighthearted.

Okay. So he is right now the first and the third hit. Jed York is still the second hit.

Now, is this guy in prison right now?

I think so. He got arrested.

Yeah.

Does he need representation? I was like, I'm looking for my first client.

I honestly, like, I would love to have him on the podcast.

Yeah.

Just ask him like what— maybe actually interview him as De'Jon Love, like the football player, and be like, so what happened in college?

Oh yeah.

Was it, was it a coach situation? I know the pinky.

How's the hand doing?

Yeah.

Like, can you still grip?

Like, do you think that if maybe you didn't practice at the substation that maybe you'd have a healthier grip strength right now?

He also did pick the perfect team in the 49ers. Like, De'Jon Love, if he didn't get arrested, like, they could be in a situation where they might need him this year.

The 49ers should issue a statement saying, hey, we're banning De'Jon Love from all team facilities.

I think they should work him out.

No means no.

It's like we lost Ricky Pearsall. Let's see what this guy's got. We saw that route in the sand.

I got an idea. Mount Rushmore season, the loser, maybe they have to commit to a bit of turning their entire Instagram into a fake professional football player for a franchise for the entire football season.

That'd be funny.

That would be funny.

And you got to get like real professional looking with all the videos and clips you put up.

Yeah.

A postgame press conference.

What do you think he did on Sundays? Yeah.

Like, what did the— like, what did his girlfriend say? Like, hey, can I come to your game?

He's not playing.

How's that question go? Yeah, he said— I, I saw a clip of him being like, yeah, I travel with the team, uh, or I, I don't travel with the team but sometimes I do, you know, basically saying he's on the practice squad. Uh, just a great— it's sometimes you just need a story where it's like everyone, everyone in unison can dunk on someone, you know, and that's really what he provided for us.

There's no real—

there's no real gray area.

It's just a—

it's a good laugh all around. Again, I feel bad for the women that got scammed.

This guy's rental car budget must have been through the roof.

Well, it was probably—

that was just the money that the women— like, that was— it was a Ponzi scheme where they give him money for investments and he just uses it on cars to scam other women.

He had Super Bowl highlights in his Instagram, too. So he actually, I think, said that he was part of the team that went to the Super That's pretty cool. And I think he said that too. He was like, when I was deciding which team to go to, like, I didn't want to— I didn't want to just play ball to play ball. I wanted to be part of a winning culture. The Raiders called. I said, that actually is really sad for the Raiders. They couldn't even sign a fake wide receiver.

I don't know how no one, like someone from his childhood, like—

I think his Instagram was maybe private. And I know that the comments were off. So I think he was pretty, pretty strict with that.

But yeah, this guy, one of the fake pictures he put up was a fake picture of him in a fake Guardian cap too. Yeah, that rocks.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Like I said, like some of these— Can't get injured again.

He should blame it on fake CTE.

Yeah, he had, he had fake concussions and fake turkeys.

Yeah, this is tough. DeSean Love, fake injuries.

The video resurfaced of Dr. Love, which is the funniest game of all time.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. I forgot about him. I forgot about him. We also had the, the, the Cleveland Guardians posted their starting lineup on Saturday with a picture of De'Jon Love. So like I said, it's like it's become, it's become one of those things where everyone's getting in on it.

I love it. I just needed to wait, wait a week and then everyone would stop talking about the Jayden Daniels 5 lawsuit.

Yeah.

Just something else always pops up.

Yeah. That's how the internet moves. Yeah. The internet's always moving. It's always going.

And then in real football news, Aaron Donald finally— As we kind of knew that he was going to do when he started like working out at the team facility and like they had to put him on like practice reports because he was using a team-issued helmet. We knew that he was going to come back. He saw Myles Garrett. He's like, okay, you know what? All of a sudden I feel pretty good. Would like to play with this guy. Of course, we knew he's coming back. He's getting a big contract, a lot of incentives. I think it could be like up to $30 million if they make the Super Bowl. This on— this is— they're the on-paper champions.

Well, I was going to say, the dream team. Are we? Yeah.

Are we officially calling them a super team?

Yeah, because that means they won't win it all.

Super team.

But they are a super team.

Well, let's see.

They—

the trade for Garrett wouldn't put them in super team discussions.

No, but Aaron Donald and Myles Garrett.

Aaron Donald coming back. Yeah.

Super team.

I'd like to see—

I mean, this was a team that was a play away from the Super Bowl last year and they just added 2 of the best.

Who did they add on offense? Ty Simpson.

Ty Simpson.

Super team.

Yeah, that was huge. Yeah, super team with their first-round pick, Ty Simpson. I think, yeah, I mean, depending on where that— that's the other— Puka. Is Puka on the list? He's not on the list. I know Josh Jacobs is.

Wait, what list?

The commissioner's exempt list, I think, which is kind of a confusing way to—

isn't it? Honestly, as far as I know, and it's probably because I don't pay enough attention to the rule, but the commissioner's exempt list tends to be used for guys that get caught beating up their girlfriends.

Right. But isn't that a weird—

it's the—

wouldn't you say the commissioner's exempt list, you'd be like, those guys, they can play because they're exempt.

They're exempt from the rules.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's confusing. When I saw it, I was like, wait a second.

I think it's like an exemption from team-issued roster moves. The commissioner steps in. So I guess, is Josh Jacobs— he's, he's technically playing for Goodell. Yeah, that's Goodell's first overall pick this year.

Yes.

Nice message.

So, yeah, Josh Jacobs, we'll see what happens with that situation. I feel like it's similar to Ray Rice and it's like, is the— there's alleged footage. Is it going to come out? Because then Goodell, remember the Ray Rice thing?

Yeah. 2 games.

Goodell did not act. And then the footage came out and everyone's like, whoa, which is fucked up about our society as a whole that you need to actually see it to believe it. But that's just how the NFL works and how everyone somehow works. Yeah, it's like, oh yeah, I guess that is bad.

Like if you, if you're an owner and you get caught with a hooker but there's no video of it, probably slap on the wrist.

Right.

But if there was a video, then you'd probably be forced to sell your team and kicked out.

Yes.

Yeah, that's fair.

We had a couple of names that got released.

Yeah.

Prayers up for these guys. Yeah. Hope they can find a new job somewhere else. Our boy Will Levis.

Yep.

The road's over for him in Tennessee.

I think someone's got to take a shot.

Absolutely. He'll get a shot somewhere. Odell Beckham made the Giants.

Odell Beckham made the Giants.

Looks just as young as ever.

Yep.

I don't know.

I don't know how Father Time— he's just like, it's undefeated when it comes to Odell Beckham. Yeah, he looks so young.

Look at, look at that face, Hank. Yeah, look at his face.

The cheeks.

No, he looks incredible.

Young as ever.

I got to know what his secret is.

Probably wearing leather.

Yeah.

Like if you get those cheekbones popping like that, it's usually that you've committed to a leather lifestyle.

It's leather for sure.

What happened with 9?

So 9. So there's— there are 4 teams that have kept 4 quarterbacks, which makes you think like, what's going to happen there? They probably won't go into the season, you know, like, are they going to trade someone? Maybe a practice squad. The Vikings are one of them. The Vikings kept Kyler Murray, who's a starter, JJ McCarthy, Carson Wentz, and Max Brosmer. There was a report on Saturday night, which was just pure speculation, that JJ McCarthy would not make the 53-man roster. He did make the 53-man roster. He also had like a sprained ankle, so he couldn't play in the last preseason game. I've, I've stated multiple times, I think I'm not saying JJ McCarthy's done as a player in the NFL. I do think his time in Minnesota feels like it's done. Because they kept Carson Wentz. Like, I think Carson Wentz will probably be the backup, right?

Yeah, that's what it seems like. Yeah. So yeah, there'll be another team I'm sure that gives him a chance. Other names, Sam Hartman was released today. Hinden Hooker was released today. The 49ers have the opportunity, the funniest thing ever with Hinden Hooker and Eli Apple. Eli Apple, forgot about him. He got released today as well. I did forget about him. So what was the other team? The Vikings and who else?

So the Vikings, the Steelers kept— they just have 4 starting quarterbacks. If you talk to Jersey Jerry, the Steelers kept Aaron Rodgers, Mason Rudolph, Will Howard, and Drew Aller. The Falcons kept Tua, Michael Penix, Cooper Rush, and Jack Strand. And the Eagles kept Jalen Hurts, Tanner McKee, Andy Dalton, and Cole Payton. Speaking of which, that's a perfect segue. I didn't— I did not know that Andy Dalton was on the Eagles.

Yeah.

Zach, so we do this every year. I'm gonna do a DraftKings read before, but let me intro it. We do this every year. Same faces, new places. Guys that are on new teams that I think we all as fans maybe missed through the cracks. There was actually— the reason why I got— I decided to tell you to do today, Zach, was I got a bunch of tweets saying you guys need to do it because Keenan Allen getting arrested for the Colts. I think there was a lot of people being like, wait, He's on the Colts. So this happens. You just have a couple, you know, we're not talking about the, the, the premier guys where we know Kyler's on the Vikings, but a Keenan Allen or an Andy Dalton, these type of guys.

All right.

Let me do the DraftKings read and then, Zach, you'll take it away and give us— I think last year you did it and you gave us some names that none of us had ever heard. You gave us— we got really— De'Jon Love.

Yeah.

New places.

Yeah.

New places.

All right.

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Oh yeah.

But give it to us, Zach.

Where do you guys think Emmanuel Wilson ended up?

Panthers.

I don't know.

I don't know.

He's with the Seahawks.

Okay.

Okay.

Panthers is always a good guess for this.

Yeah.

Panthers. I feel like that's been the most frequent one.

Yeah. Do you have one I learned last week? I think I knew it, but then it like popped up in something. Tariq Woolen is on the Eagles. You just mentioned Seahawks. That one was— I was like, oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That makes sense. Okay.

What are you guys' thoughts on Jalen Thompson?

Seahawks have some strong thoughts.

Panthers.

I think he's probably a Falcon.

Jalen Thompson is on the Cowboys.

Okay.

Oh, okay. Close.

Yeah. Damn, we're really close.

Great for him, you know?

All right.

What about—

What about some names we know?

Yeah. What if we just get into— where do you guys think Kirk Cousins is at right now?

Kirk Cousins.

We know Kirk Cousins. Yeah, he's a Raider. Yeah, we know he's a Raider.

Yeah.

Yeah, man.

That's good. Let us see a couple go through the hoop.

Kirk Cousins coast to coast.

Emmanuel Willis.

You got to know Emmanuel Willis.

Geno Smith.

Geno Smith is a Jet.

Yeah.

7 Sunday Heroes.

What coast?

Can we find the middle ground here?

Thoughts on Kylen Wallace?

Neither.

Kirk Cousins didn't go from a coast, nor did he go to a coast.

Correct. He's not on the coast.

Yeah, he's actually—

Atlanta hasn't been in the coast for a really long time.

But as far as like making up the distance of the United States, roughly coast to coast, he's been landlocked his entire career. But that's so much distance, you know what I mean, in between.

Yeah, yeah, I guess east to west, he's like south to west, he's in the desert.

Yeah.

Southeast to southwest.

Like, say Moses went coast to coast. No, he's just in Vegas.

Yeah.

Coast to Jason for sure. You guys, what are you guys' thoughts on Alex Anzalone?

Tylan Wallace.

Anzalone.

Tylan Wallace, I believe, is a Brown because the—

Yes.

Bears played the Browns.

Correct.

I mean, I always want to say Lion, but he's probably not a Lion. I know this is like a new place.

No, I actually do.

Fuck, I could see him.

Oh, this one's gonna piss me off.

I could see him in Florida.

He's a Buc.

That is correct.

Yeah.

On Tempe Bucs.

Okay. That's a good one. That's a good one.

We'll go with Na'Shawn Wright.

Na'Shawn Wright. Where did he sign? I know Brisker went to the Steelers and Kevin Byard went to the Patriots. Na'Shawn Wright. Did he go to the— am I using the right—

Jags.

Did you look it up? Ravens?

No. Falcons?

Close.

Jets. Hey, that's good for the interceptions. Yeah, he does get toasted a lot though, memes, just so you know. But he can make the play on the ball. We're just worried about getting an interception. He'll get you an interception. He will get you an interception. Okay.

Rodney Thomas II.

Rodney Thomas II.

You got to tell us this one.

Giants.

I think he's on—

he's close-ish.

He's a shame. Why don't you take over this list and tell us some names that are— He has some good names on here. Yeah.

All right.

What do we think about Isaiah Likely?

Where did he go?

Where did Isaiah Likely go? He's on the Giants. Harbaugh brought him.

What do we think about Tua?

Tua's on the Falcons.

See another one go through.

Here we go.

Jalen Watson.

Give, give Shane the— Jalen Watson is on the— wait, I know this. Is he on the Eagles? No, no, no, no. Where did Jalen Watson go?

Titans?

No, I don't know.

Chargers.

What do you got there, Shane?

Rams.

He also has Myles Garrett on here.

Bradley Chubb.

Oh, Bradley, where did he go? Is he— I want to say the Bills. He is.

Elijah Vera Tucker.

Packers.

That'd be the Patriots, Hank.

Oh, okay. That was a trick question.

I mean, I just love that one.

He loved that one. All right, Shane, you take over. Tell us some names that actually help the people at home.

What does that mean?

Well, I mean, names that are like recognizable names. Oh, Wandale Robinson.

Where did Wandale Robinson—

See, this is a good name.

Wandale.

Where did Wandale Robinson—

Come back to me. Give me a hint. You guys should know this.

Is he on the Titans?

Cool jersey.

Do you follow Daboll? Yeah, that's right. Because Daboll and Harbaugh both took a lot of their players.

And same thing with ex-Jets players.

They're all on the Titans. Right, right, right.

This is a good one.

T'Vondre Sweat.

Don't know.

Jets.

Falcons.

Jets.

Jets.

Nice.

That's a nice signing.

Juwan Jennings.

Packers. Nope.

Is he on the— no, he's on the Bucs.

Commanders.

Same division as the Packers.

Shanahan adjacent.

Is he on the Vikings?

He is.

Oh, okay. OK, OK, now we're cooking with some names. Let me see. I saw what's his name? Fuck. What is Rico Dowdle? Rico Dowdle.

That's a good one.

Shit.

Chargers.

The Dewey.

Is he on the Panthers? Is he on the Steelers?

Because he is.

Because then they trade and then they traded today. Caleb What's his name from Iowa? They traded him to the Packers. Yeah, yeah. Caleb Johnson, I believe.

Kenneth Gainwell.

Oh, Kenny.

Kenny, that's your guy. Texas. Nope. Chargers.

Bucs.

Bucs. Okay, that's a good pickup for them.

Yeah, he was the only player worth watching on the Steelers last year.

We got— these are good. These are good. Not that yours were bad, Zach, but they were kind of dogshit.

Reed Blankenship.

Reed Blankenship's Texans.

He is.

Yes, I remember seeing that. Then all the other ones are pretty much either big names or guys I don't know. Give us a guy you don't know.

Okay.

DeMario Davis.

No, I do know him.

Yeah.

David Onyemata.

David Onyemata. It sounds like Junior Soprano put a curse on somebody. Onyemata.

Hmm.

Where did he go? He went to the Jets.

Jets. I feel like the Jets have had half these answers.

Jets have about 10 guys on this.

You guys just did like a roster transplant.

This is a good one. Minka Fitzpatrick.

Oh, I think—

fuck. Oh, he's on the Giants. Jets as well.

Yes.

All right.

I was close enough. I was close enough. That should count. That's half a point if you get the same stadium. That's good. Jets, I'm telling you, we're going to get— we're talking about Pete Prisco, but I think Jets could be frisky.

We're going to be scrappy. Don't have a kicker.

Yeah, I think you're going to be frisky this year. Giants and Jets are going to be frisky teams. Your offensive line's good, right? Offensive line's good. And that's Geno. Geno can't play with a bad offensive line. Like, that was what last year was, just a joke because that offensive line was bad.

No, they're going to figure out a way to be good and lose because of their kicker every single week. Which is exactly what you want.

Yeah.

That's right where you want to be. You want to have a competitive physical football team that just happens to lose. Yeah. And we're going to say we're going in the right direction. That's all that matters.

Yep.

All right. Any other big ones? I'm going to, I'm going to Google it right now just in case we didn't miss any big ones. No, that's really basically it. I mean, there's the Mike Evans of the world.

There's—

Yeah, we know those.

Trey Hendrickson.

Mike Evans is on the 49ers.

Romeo Doubs.

DJ Moore is on the Bills.

Where's Romeo Doubs on the Raiders? Good questions.

Jets?

I'm just kidding. He's not on the Patriots.

Yeah, there we go.

Yeah. Well, list the big ones just so that we have them so people can— because there are some people who—

Linderbaum.

They start painting—

Linderbaum.

Yep.

Raiders.

David Njoku.

Chargers.

Yeah.

Yeah.

We saw it happen.

We did.

Literally saw it happen.

Yep.

Kenneth Walker. Chukwuemeka Okonkwo is huge.

Yep.

Massive on the Commanders.

Isaiah Likely, Wandale Robinson, Juwan. There was AJ Brown, Trent McDuffie. Trent McDuffie is now on the Rams.

He is.

He got traded. Yep.

And the big ones we know, Malik Willis, Jets or Dolphins.

Geno Smith, Jets.

Okay. I feel like we got everyone ready.

That's a lot of names.

A lot of names, but it's important to do because you don't want to be the guy week 1, you're like, wait, what?

Yeah, Kenneth Gainwell, good to lock that one in.

That's a really good one.

Rico Dowdle, good to lock that one in. Both of those.

Wandale, good to lock him in.

Yep, locked. 3 locks.

That's huge locks. Huge locks. But it's good that we're done with preseason. We are ready for real football.

I can't wait.

It's, it's gonna be great. Okay, what else we have going on in the sports world? Scottie Scheffler wins. What does he win?

He wants— he's the FedEx Cup champion.

Okay.

Which also probably locked him up for Player of the Year.

He's Player of the Year?

Yeah.

Okay, that's good for him.

He won $10 million.

How do they determine Player of the Year?

Uh, players— it's a player's vote. Okay. So it was a little bit— I think him and Wyndham had won the same amount of events, but Wyndham had won a major. Scottie had way more second-place finishes, so he had like had a stronger season. But with the major, that was kind of, you know, splitting the— splitting people's votes. But then, you know, you win the FedEx Cup.

Yeah, it's kind of crazy because we'd been talking about Scottie as though he were dead. Yeah, he's down here like, like, wow, this guy sucks. And he— no, it turns out he's still the best golfer in the world. He's just not insanely, insanely dominant like he has been in the past. But he probably had as many second-place finishes as anybody else, right? As many top 10s as anyone else.

Way more.

Oh yeah.

Like, it's pretty nuts for Scottie to say overall disappointing year, still Player of the Year. That's how good he is.

And he passed Tiger Woods' all-time money leader.

Yep.

PJ Torres.

Yeah.

Which he's not even close to him in terms of sponsorships. But yeah, that also is bigger purses, plays in a different league. Facts are facts. Facts are facts.

Does Scottie have the president's number? Probably, actually.

Yeah, he probably does.

Yeah. He probably does.

Yeah. So Scottie had 5 runner-up results this year and he was top 5 in 3 out of 4 majors. So like, all things considered, pretty good year for, for a normal human. For Scottie, it seems like a disappointment.

What's up?

Where's—

what tournament is Mike Block playing in? Every time I just looked, it was just Blocky was doing some kind of weird thing to the crowd. I think I'm back in on him because it's so ridiculous.

It's so funny.

He's gone through— like, he's gone through the wall where it was annoying, and now it's so absurd that I'm like, this guy, how does he— he's doing it to like— there's a gallery of 5 people and he's, and he's like, he's pumping him up. I saw a clip where he pumped him up and then he quieted him down.

And he did it. He like shot— he shot someone in the crowd. Like, he was, he was like a maestro. He was pumping people up to his left, quieting people on his right, shot a couple of people in the middle.

He had this one shot on a par 3 that he knocked stiff to about 20 feet.

And then—

but then just went around like staring everybody down. Yeah, like freaked out after. Pretty much did like a bat flip after getting a green in regulation. I love that we've got a guy like that. It's the Champions Tour, right? He's a senior tour.

It's a senior tour. I don't even think it's the Champions. It's like— it's like a step down from the Champions Tour.

That's what I want somebody to take it. to be this much of a fucking psycho.

Yeah.

In the senior division. I think that's awesome. And Black ain't hurt nobody. He's gonna have his fun.

He's Shooter McGavin without any of the wins.

Yes. And he had the— he had— he was leading going into Sunday and he choked.

Oh, that's great.

I know. They fucked him, though.

Oh, no, it is the Champions Tour.

Yeah, he got screwed over.

He's walking off putts left and right, like staring at the crowd. He's looking directly in the camera. Did you see that one where he just He found the camera and just kind of like looked and pointed. Yeah, this— he pumps up the crowd.

I mean, we've talked more about the Champions Tour in the last month than we ever have in the history of this podcast.

Yeah, you're right.

He's a draw.

No, he's a draw.

He's a draw. He's a draw.

People are probably getting sick of all the Champions League talk that we're doing on this show. It's funny. Yeah, it is. It's very funny. Like, Block is— I know that people are going to hate on him and like the golf purists are going to say like, you know, all the reasons why they don't like him. He's got one great result and then he just kind of— he coasted on that for a while. And the attitude of, if I had Rory's distance, I'd be as good as him. The, the ego without any of the talent behind it is very funny to me. Yeah. And I love the fact that it is— it's front and center on a senior tour. I want to see more of this from Blot.

Yeah, this is him pumping. He pumps up. He points to every part of the crowd again. There's like 25 people there. Gets them pumped up, gets them, gets them loud. And then he's like, hey, quiet down. And after he riles them up, it looked like no one there.

It looked like he almost got like the 2 galleries on either side of the green in a contest against each other.

Yes.

It was like, who's going to be louder at this senior event? I want to hear, I want to hear somebody scream.

Yeah.

Any ladies in the house?

Let's try to break the record.

And there's no ladies in the house.

It's actually—

it's a senior PGA Tour event. There's zero women there.

Where was this taking place?

My guess is Florida.

We got it. We got to check the Richter scale. Blocky hits it. Blocky hits a putt. 2.1 on the Richter scale.

Michigan.

Michigan.

All right.

Yeah, there definitely was some Saginaw earthquakes reported this weekend around the Saginaw area. Blocky was there.

I mean, if he was 5 years earlier, he would be on LIV. He would have been.

Yeah. And he would have been elected. He probably could have saved LIV.

Yeah.

You think it would have, would have paid for him?

Yes.

Yeah.

Well, I mean, again, look at him.

He's a draw. He's exactly what LIV needs.

He's a disruption to the game of golf.

He is.

All right.

So we had, we did have real football this weekend. UNC, TCU, perfect start to the, to the, to the football calendar year where it's like 2 teams that have no history. Obviously, they played last year. Playing in Ireland, we had, you know, weird snaps, 3 points scored in the second half, and Belichick might have his groove back.

Yeah.

Because that's a game they were, they were 7.5-point dogs. He goes to Ireland, wins the first game of the year. Year 2, after like, you know, I don't know where— I think Steve Belichick's still on leave, Mike Lombardi obviously gone, everything seemed to be falling apart. UNC.

Heels, baby.

He might have—

I felt something seeing him hold up that trophy, whatever, whatever trophy it was.

Yeah.

The Ireland trophy.

Very important trophy.

Huge.

Do you think that's going next to the Super Bowls? Yeah, it's got to.

Well, probably going next to some of his rings that he just kind of keeps in a closet somewhere. But yeah, it was good to see Bill get a win. As ugly as the game was, the first quarter was very fun to watch. Yeah. And then the weather got shitty. And it looked like TCU's quarterback was not— he was never really comfortable holding the football.

No, he's a Harvard transfer. And then he was going up against Billy Edwards, who is a ginger. It's like he's winning in Ireland.

Yeah. You're going to want a quarterback that can hold on to a football while they're standing still, especially if you're playing in Ireland.

Speaking of which, so the other games, there was not as fun of games. The other big story was USC with a pathetic crowd. And then it was hot. A bunch of USC fans being like, do you understand how humid it was?

It was really hot.

Most humid day. And then someone had to— someone basically had, uh, did a Will Actually dunking on him. It's like, here is a clip from 2009 where it was 95 degrees, USC was playing San Jose State, and it was a packed Coliseum. This is what— this is the downside of like what has happened to not just USC football as a brand, but when you lose the Pac-12, it's like— People It's going to change things.

It was hot. I noticed that you're downplaying that.

It was humid more than it was hot. It was the most humidity that LA's had in a long time.

It was a crazy heat wave. It was against San Jose State and not exactly a strong regional rivalry there. I wonder how much San Jose got paid to show up to get beat by USC for this.

I don't know.

But like, pretty good.

The clip of Lincoln Riley walking out like with his whole team to 15,000 people in the Coliseum. It was sad. USC's good. When USC's good, it's fun.

Also, you're also kind of dismissing the fact that Block was on TV.

Yeah. And it was hot.

And so the Block effect, people were at home watching the Champions Tour.

You got it. You got to watch that. But what I was going to say was the, you know, with college football, with the transfer portal and everything, you just get reminded sometimes of like, oh yeah, that's why I was never in it. Watching Jackson Arnold try to run for his life late night, UNLV-Memphis, and, and not be able to do it was like, oh yeah, that's why I'm not in on Jackson Arnold. But it was good. It was good to see football on TV. Also, we had a crazy front door cover. I was like, Stanford was up all game. Then Hawaii came roaring back with— I think Stanford was a 4-point favorite and with a minute and a half left, They were up 3 and Hawaii fumbled and Stanford ran it back. The guy actually stopped and was about to go down. He's like, fuck it, I'm a defensive player. I have to, I have to go in the end zone here. So Stanford ends up covering. See that?

Yeah, this is my chance.

It's like, so we had the first, I guess, bad— it wasn't really a bad beat because Stanford kind of dominated the game, but you could, you could be upset if you had Hawaii in that game.

A shout out to UVA too. Beau Perbula. Yeah, might be the, the leader that they need. They're very excited about the team in Charlottesville, which They haven't been that pumped for, for a new season in a very, very long time. But they look pretty good. And this was an ACC game. I double-checked it because I got fooled on that. It wasn't the last year where it was these—

I believe they're officially—

yeah, 2 teams playing and it was not technically a conference game.

Correct.

This is a conference game. And UVA looked really, really good.

And I think they said that— did I see that there was a report that Week 0 is just going to be Week 1 next year? Like they're moving everything up.

This was the last Week 0 ever.

Ever. Yeah. Damn.

What's your favorite Week 0 moment? I think mine might have been the Ireland game last year.

Was that Northwestern, Nebraska?

Kansas State.

Yeah, Kansas State.

Where his dad got beat up.

I just know Week 0 is my, is my prime, like, oh, I just lost money because I didn't even know that that guy was playing.

Right.

Situation.

This is honestly like, this is probably the best Week 0 ever for Hank. International game, Belichick wins. Yeah. Doesn't get any better than that.

No.

Also shout out North Dakota State. They're now in Division 1 and that, that crowd was fucking awesome.

PFT.

That, that crowd.

Good, good football state.

They're in the Mountain West. What are you going to say?

No, just PFT has no respect for North Dakotans.

I, I didn't realize we had so many North Dakotan listeners until Friday morning.

Yeah, I was pretty happy that I didn't have to participate in that Mount Rushmore. And it was a little slander at Alaska and kept it moving.

A lot of people voice their displeasure, did not, you know, and if you're in North Dakota, you don't wake up in the morning, pop on Part of My Take and expect to hear me say bad things about your state.

So we just said good things. Their crowd was awesome. Great.

That was a great football state.

Way better football environment than USC.

Yes. Great football state. You have a long, storied history of amazing fullbacks at North Dakota State.

And quarterbacks getting drafted.

Yeah.

Zach, how was your— how was your Friday? Did you just get slandered left and right about the California?

Yeah, a lot of, a lot of unbeknownst politics I didn't see coming.

Yeah. Oh, you got into that?

Yeah, I try to stay away from it, but guys are passionate about states, I guess. Yeah, I love the entire United States, you know, but if we gotta get divisive, there's no fun in that, right? Let's not get divisive.

What was your other pick that was— Utah.

Utah. They got some stuff going on.

You have any Utah people chime in?

Yeah, those, those not as aggressive. The guys from California were standing up, 10 toes.

Yeah, you don't want to fuck with NorCal bros. Yeah, they'll fuck you up.

Yeah, or the Bloods or the Crips.

Yeah, I don't want any of those issues around the board.

Mm-hmm. I was just surprised. I didn't know that anyone in North Dakota had internet, so I was, I was surprised that they were able to tweet at me.

Mm-hmm. Hank, how were you with Ohio?

Oh, Ohio people, I got, I got a lot of—

they're the most passionate.

I've, I've been here before. I'll be here again, I'm sure. But yeah, between that and the, the O'Connellacs or whatever, I don't know. I don't know what the nickname for Jerry's fans would be.

No, those are just AWLs on Reddit.

Those are the—

but they were— they were— it was— it was not— people were mean to me this weekend and that's all right.

Jerry's kids. Yeah.

I regret nothing. Everything I said, I meant.

Yeah, there we go.

And then some.

Have it.

Did you guys see, by the way, speaking of Ohio, did you see— you see Ted Cruz did a classic politician trying to get into sports move?

Yeah.

I don't know who he was dunking on. Some guy running for something in Michigan. But the guy said, it's about to be football season. I can't wait to beat Ohio. And Ted Cruz says, what does it say that this clown who wants to represent Michigan has never heard of Ohio State?

Yeah.

Brutal.

Yeah.

So everyone at Michigan calls Ohio State Ohio and everyone at Ohio State calls them the team up north.

Yeah.

That was a tough one. You can't get— you can't get mixed into rivalries.

I don't think it's as good as when he said, what do you call it, the basketball ring? Basketball ring for the hoop.

Yeah, I just love when politicians try to, try to talk our language.

I remember when he got caught jerking off on 9/11. Yeah, that was a pretty good—

oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Not the 9/11.

Well, it was a 9/11.

Yes, I was confused for a second. I was like, oh shit, it was his own personal night. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That one was—

that would you, would you just look up there, Zach?

Ted Cruz 9/11.

But he spelled Ted Cruz wrong, which is tough to do.

Like Tom Cruise?

No, he actually did a hybrid Ted Cruz and Tom Cruise. He kept the I in there, but went back to Z. Yeah. Can I talk real quick just about how awesome PCA is? Just— I know I've said it many times, but he had the Saturday that was— I don't want to say that the MVP race is over, but it was pretty fucking awesome because it was the Cubs' 150th anniversary. Like, they had all these guys back. They brought all— like, they named 150 like the Cubs team, like guys from all eras. So like Greg Maddux was there, all these guys, Rizzo, like all these guys from all these different eras. Sammy Sosa was back and Pete Crow-Armstrong hit 3 home runs and was the absolute best. And I just— he's awesome. He should win MVP. I think Shohei has kind of fallen off a little.

I think he will win MVP. Yeah.

I mean, he's— the odds have gone severely in his favor. He's just He's going to, he's going to flirt with a 10 WAR season, which is like so hard to do.

Mm-hmm.

And there was, I saw some stat that was, it was funny because it was a very, it was a stupid stat in the fact that it was very select parameters. But the names that spit out were like, holy shit, that's cool. So players in MLB history to have 12+ home runs, 6+ stolen bases, and 16+ walks. in a single calendar month. Pete Crow-Armstrong, Willie Mays, Babe Ruth.

Babe Ruth had it like that on the basepaths?

Apparently. I was reading about it. Babe Ruth would just— he would just go for it. It was a lot of hit and runs, but he would just go for it.

I can't imagine. Yeah, probably the catcher's arm's not great back then.

And young Babe Ruth, I think, was pretty athletic. Yeah, he was a pitcher. But anytime you're Willie Mays and Babe Ruth, he just hit another Who?

PCA?

Just now? Why are you ahead?

I just got a notification on my phone.

Well, we're down. We're losing this game. Still can't really tweet about—

Bomb!

That was a bomb.

Is that 2 tonight?

Best. Why'd you spoil that, dude? We were having a natural conversation about PCA. How cool would it have been if it was like, oh, and he just hit one? I thought the game on— how would I know? The game's on right here.

I don't have a TV in my vision.

I just—

I get The home run notifications.

He does everything for this team. The pigeon Shota needs to get out of my life. That was all my PCA talk. He's just awesome to watch. He's a fucking man. And he, and he, and he drops it. I mean, just do it in front of— he said, he said that after the game, he said Sammy Sosa said I would hit 3 today and then I hit 3, which is pretty damn cool. So, and then Jon Lester went into the Hall of Fame. tonight, the Cubs Hall of Fame.

Big John.

All right. That was all. Do you guys have any other baseball stuff? Oh, you guys, did you see that play today?

Yeah, I did. I mean, about it, it was a bullshit call, but we lost 12 to 1. So I don't know how much, how much it mattered. It was a catch that was a catch that they ruled not a catch. Joe Torre is like the head rules official.

Yeah.

It was Red Sox-Yankees. That, that seems like there's a conflict of interest.

You think that Joe Torre saw it and was like, that clearly hit the ground?

I watched the replay because it was— yes, Dave was like ranting about it. And so I saw the replay. It is one of those replays that if you look at it long enough, you're like, I think it might've touched the ground, but you don't even know.

I think if you're— yeah, if you're a Yankees fan, You say it hit the ground. It was a big— if you're a Red Sox fan, you say it didn't.

It was a big time, uh, watch the replay twice, that's a catch. Watch the replay 10 times, that definitely hit the ground. Watch the replay 15 times, it's back to a catch.

I think if—

which means the initial, it should be a catch.

If you have to watch something 10 times, yeah, to figure out, it should be a catch.

Yeah, that looks like a catch to me right there. But if you give me like 4 more watches, I'll be like, yeah, no, that definitely—

But how is it not a catch?

That's that, like I guess they're saying when the glove turns over.

Yeah, right there.

Does the ball hit the ground? Which I understand. But you can't see it. Can't see it.

Can't see it.

Can't see it, Hank.

Can't see the ball.

So what do you think the score would have been if they got that call right?

Well, you never know.

That's—

it's a butterfly effect.

That's true. It is a true butterfly effect.

You can never tell.

You can never, ever tell. OK, do we have any other— any other sports stories? that are going on. We're gonna do our big college football preview on Wednesday with Brandon and Tom. Excited for that. Week 1 coming up. We finally made it real football. But anything else before we do who's back? I think that's, that's about it. We're gonna talk to Pete Briscoe in a second. All right, let's do who's back of the week. Chevy, there's a reason Chevy is called the heartbeat of America and the Silverado keeps that heartbeat strong. These trucks work hard so you can chill harder. Whether that's getting out of town, heading to the lake, or just not turning around when you probably should. It's got the capability, the space, and the muscle— everything you need for proper summer coolers, gear, whatever your version of chill looks like. Because at the end of the day, Silverado helps you tackle more of what you love. And let's be honest, you've earned this summer. Now it's time to go get it. So roll the windows down, turn the music up, and just listen. That's the heartbeat of America. That's today's Chevrolet. Head over to Chevy .com to learn more today.

And Who's Back of the Week is brought to you by our friends at Twisted Tea. Who's Back Week is presented by Twisted Tea. It's officially the dog days of summer, and Twisted Tea is our go-to for cooling down when it's heating up. When it's hot, you know I'm reaching for something ice cold. Twisted Tea is the perfect drink for lake days, beach days, backyard grilling, and all the good stuff summer has to offer. It's never too early to stock up for tailgate season. We're there. Week 1 is coming up. Counting down the days until electric game days and coolers stocked to the brim with ice cold Twisted Tea. Listen, if you're on a college campus, if you're going to a college football game this weekend, bring the Twisted Tea. People will love you. Twisted Tea is a refreshing hard iced tea made with real brewed tea and 5% alcohol, full of flavor and very refreshing. Goes down smooth. There's no carbonation, which makes it easy to drink all day long, whether it's hitting the course for a round, pre-gaming a ballgame, or inviting the guys over for some backyard grilling. Twisted Tea is always there to keep the good times rolling.

Grab a refreshing Twisted Tea today. Who's back of the week, Henry?

My who's back of the week are flyovers.

You took mine.

I'm the plane guy on this podcast.

What kind of planes were they?

They were B-12s.

That's not true.

They were B-somethings.

There's a name in vitamins.

They were not a shot. Yeah, they were F-14s.

They were not. That's a Tomcat.

They were vitamin C. They were T-9s.

You have yet to name a passenger plane. My Who's Back of the Week is flyovers.

Hank, what happened? What is a flyover?

It was at— it was at my favorite sport, it was at a rugby match.

This guy's a real piece of shit.

In South Africa. Yeah, in South Africa.

You don't even have the details.

In South Africa.

Listen, he's now 1 for 7 on details.

The 2 Fs— 2 Ps, I mean. They did a flyover before the game and basically skimmed the roof. Like, I thought it was AI. That's where— that's where we're at in society, where I was like, this is just one of these AI videos, not gonna get fooled. Turned out it was true. Is this gonna be a trend though? Should, should this become a trend? Uh, well, flyover challenge.

First of all, it kind of is a trend in South Africa. So I, I looked into it when I saw the flyover.

Same.

It is—

it's very— yeah, I did a lot of research on it. Um, the flyover is super low. It's, it's scary low. So they, through the like publicly available flight data, you can see that the plane—

That looks fake.

At its lowest was about 40 feet from the top of the stadium, which is crazy low to the point where like a bad gust of wind or sometimes you get a ground effect turbulence. Yeah, it's, it's, you know, being that close to the ground can fuck with the controls a little bit of a plane if you get like the backdraft of air getting blown off the ground. So to think that you'd have like a 40-foot dip at some point, it's not impossible. And if that had happened, then you're probably looking at like thousands of dead people.

Whoo.

So it's so low. But I looked into it and apparently it's a thing in South Africa. It's a very big cultural deal. And they've got a long history of flying jumbo jets over rugby games where they've done this once every like 10 years where they fly abnormally low passes. Now, this was way closer than any of the other ones that I saw. All the other ones were about like 100 feet above, 150, which if you're in that stadium, it feels like you can reach out and touch it. Like, that's very, very close. This was actually just so close that it could have been really, really bad. But South Africans, they take their flyovers very seriously. So from what I've seen online, their mentality is like, nobody got hurt, did they? Okay, good. Well, it kicked ass, didn't it? Okay. Okay.

Yeah.

Do we beat New Zealand? Yeah, we did. Okay, then fuck you. We're going to keep doing our flyovers.

It's a big win for them.

Massive win for them.

Big upset.

Big upset for—

huge, huge. Our good Who's Back.

Really good.

Really had no details. I had them all or anything.

I think the craziest part of that was the second jet that gets just hit in the face with like the pyrotechnics. Yeah. As it flies through.

Wait, what type of plane was it?

I believe it was an Embraer 190.

PFT, do you want to— like, do you want to— who's back to fight back at him?

Who's back? Liv?

No, no, no. I got one for you. I'm texting right now. You just Google it. And then it was, it was very funny. And I can't believe Hank missed it. Sad, Hank. Sad. Really sad. Really, really sad. I texted it to PFT. Oh, yeah.

Who's back of the week? Saying bye to your friends. Mm-hmm. Jaylen Brown had a going away party.

He got a key to the city.

He had a public going away party.

Yeah. Well, they gave him a key to the city.

Didn't look like a lot of people went.

I mean, it's summer. It's a tough time of year. People got, people got plans.

Uh, Blocky was playing, but I didn't know he got a key to the city. That actually is pretty cool.

Yeah, you got a key to the city. He deserves it.

So did you think about maybe going?

No, we had a, we were at a work trip.

Who was there?

A lot of people from Boston.

Jaylen Brown. Was Jayson Tatum there?

I don't think Jayson Tatum summers in paradise.

So he didn't go to his best friend's going away party.

Oh, he got his key to the state. Key to the state. That's different than a key to the city.

Even better.

He probably doesn't have a key to the city.

I think if you got a key to the state, you have a key to the city. You have the key to the whole state.

There's no doubt.

Key to all the cities.

I'm sure Jaylen Brown has done like awesome community work and stuff, but is this not a little weird and awkward?

No.

2 months after.

You got to think about it. He's been part of the community for his entire career.

Yeah, I know, but it's a It's bigger than basketball, Dan. Okay.

Hank.

Henry.

So wait, all the—

all the people he's helped.

So, all right. I don't see his teammates there, though. That's what's kind of weird.

Yeah, I know. LeBron should have been there. I agree.

I think it's more like if— yeah, I think I'd just be like, yeah, you know what? It's already happened. Like, play the— play the video when I come back.

There were performances from Lil Jon, Lil Baby.

Oh, okay.

That's a real thing.

Yeah.

Damn.

They had the Larry O'Brien Trophy there.

Hey, party's a party. It actually looks like there was a decent amount of people there.

Yeah.

He was signing autographs on Celtics jerseys and Sixers jerseys while he was there.

That's respect. That is respect.

Yeah. Good for him.

No love lost.

Good for him.

I know.

Yeah.

Yeah. No love.

So you weren't going to bring that up?

No, it is. I think the saying no love lost actually makes more sense in a situation like this. But I think people use it ironically.

Yeah.

This actually looks like a pretty, like, decently attended goodbye, which I, I don't remember this.

Great sportsman.

Yeah. What was the welcome party like for Playoff P?

Oh, that's a good question. What if that was happening at the same time?

I don't think it was. I don't think he's like had an official.

But what if?

It didn't.

But what if?

I think more people would go to Jaylen Brown. It's not what—

it's—

I like to look forward.

No, you got to appreciate it.

If you win a championship in the city, what have you done for me lately?

You're a legend forever.

That's what I say.

Okay, I got a couple who's backs. The first one is breaking news. Do you guys want to break some news? I know a couple of weeks ago I was like, I'm never going to break news. I don't want to break news after that Ben Devine thing happened where he got catfished. I was like, I'm not in the breaking news business. 2 weeks later, I'd like to be. You guys, you want to break some news on this podcast?

Yeah, go for it.

Okay, here we go. The San Diego Zoo Safari Park recently welcomed Matu Manini, a 33-year-old western lowland gorilla from Sedgwick County Zoo in Kansas. This is a free acquisition. This is a free agency acquisition. And the San Diego Zoo actually reached out to us and was like, hey, do you guys want to break this on the podcast?

Let's go.

Okay. So they picked up a new gorilla. It wasn't a trade. It was just maybe a waiver wire. Matu Ma'ini. His arrival was part of the American Association of Zoos and Aquariums Species and Survival Plan for his species. He's going to be— he's an experienced, experienced Silverback, who's going to join the Safari Park's Gorilla Forest family troop following the unexpected illness and loss of Silverback Paul in May 2020. RIP Paul.

RIP Paul.

No, Paul passed.

So it sounds like, you know, you hear this a lot this time of year. A lot of, a lot of coaches will cut a vet early, give them a chance to get picked up by somebody else.

Yep.

It sounds like that's probably, probably what's happening here.

Yeah. So he's going to go. He's got, he's got Win now mode. 5 chicks he's hanging out with now. Imani, Jessica, Camila, Leslie, and Joanne.

Okay.

I love these names.

Yeah.

It's like sometimes we go with like, hey, that's clearly a gorilla. And then sometimes you say, hey, this gorilla is named Joanne.

All right. So good luck to Matumani.

Yeah. And I learned also they sent me some facts, but apparently at the San Diego Zoo, which I think is one of the best zoos, I think it is the best zoo in the country. They just have a— they just have a standing bachelor party guerrilla troop. It's just dudes hanging out like they have it totally separate from everyone else.

That's dudes.

Yeah.

Link Park too has that.

Yeah.

Just the— just the Thunderdome.

It's fucking awesome.

Yeah.

Imagine just getting linked up with that.

Just hanging out with boys all day.

Hanging out with the boys, waiting for like someday they're going to call your number. You're going to have to go and, and hang with some chicks.

Yeah.

Yeah, but Matu— Matu Maini, 33-year-old western lowland gorilla. Please credit Pardon My Take.

Should we put it out before the podcast?

Yeah.

Yeah, we could.

He was—

oh, he was born in the Lincoln Park Zoo.

Massive transaction.

Wow.

OK, so he went Lincoln Park Zoo to Oklahoma City Zoo as a baby and then Cedric County Zoo. And yet it hasn't even updated that he's in San Diego. We should just make a graphic. We should tweet it right in the morning. I think— I don't— I think we could probably sit on this overnight.

You don't think that whoever the Adam Schefter of zoos is, is going to—

We could get scooped. But guess what? We're in it for the love of the game.

We're not in it to, you know, I think we're playing a game that you're never going to see us dropping any agents' names in the post that we have about the Gorillas.

And we're not in this game to, to, to be first. We're in this game to be correct. This is straight from the source, straight from the source. OK, so that was my first Who's Back. Also, Who's Back of the Week? Racists being fucked because we're getting end racism back in the— yeah, back in the end zone.

Yeah. Yeah, that's—

see you, racists.

We thought, we thought we did it. We took it out of the back of the end zone and then racism came storming back.

Hate as well.

Racism and hate.

Hate.

had a, had a good run from like 1492 to 2023. And then we, we kind of ended it. And then what do you know, racism kind of popped up again, 2004, 2005. So now you just, you got to stamp it out again. And what better way than painting the back of a football stadium in Australia?

Yeah. So we got it.

Do they have to do that there? Do they have to do the messages?

I think they have to.

It takes all of us.

Yeah.

Oh, in, in races, I noticed you being a teeny bit racist. It's not very nice. Too many racist comments.

I'm from Rhodesia.

Also, who's back of the week?

That's a pretty racist place.

Yeah. Who's back of the week? Golf, Hank. Because did you see that there's a, there's a golf course in, I think, L.A.? It's going to have a Clubhouse Chili's.

I did see that.

That's how— that's how you get me into that. Yeah, that's how you get me into golf.

It was like Caleb was a Caleb Roback combination. I'm in. In Chili's.

Chili's. Oh, I can go. I could play 9 holes.

And Jenna Sims.

And my, my— the halfway house is just—

it's just a blooming onion.

I'm in a blooming— Awesome.

Oh, wow.

That was bad.

My Australian accent was so good, Hank, I thought that he was an FX standout.

Hand up.

It's going to be embarrassing.

Awesome Blossom, Hank.

We got to get out ahead of that one.

I would love to know what Zach's— I was trying to set up Zach for what his order at the tournament would be with the Chili's.

Oh, that's easy. You just go Triple Dipper, chips and queso, and then a little dessert. So maybe lava cake.

I had a— I had a damn, I'm fat moment, which I have all the time, but some stoolie tweeted me. It was like 5 different screenshots of people asking me my Chili's order over like the last decade and it never wavering and it's like never changing.

And I was like, shit, okay, you guys want to lock in for a little bit?

I'm locked. Yeah. What do you want to lock?

I'm dialed.

I need to get locked. Oh, yes.

No, I am official.

I've been fat for like 3 or 4 weeks.

As soon as As soon as I conquer the 100 cheeseburgers, we're getting locked. Like, locked.

What?

No shot. Why do you got to be negative?

Because football's starting.

I understand. 15 burgers into football.

I'm going to— I'm going to get so locked during football season this year. The schedule is about to flip on its head.

I'm going to—

I'm turning the last 15 years of my life upside down. This is going to be the season I'm going to get ripped. I'm going to have a 6-pack by spring break. It starts now.

I believe you.

Bet.

What about me?

I believe Hank. Nice.

15 burgers into football.

You just get—

you're just going to have rollover. We can all do this together.

I'm going to start walking before NFL Sundays.

What are your odds on 15 this week?

Oh, I got it. I set myself up nice. Now, did I have to do what—

I mean, you only have to eat 15 burgers.

Listen, was it a disgusting move that I landed from Saratoga on Saturday night and had to go to Red Hot Ranch and pound 2 burgers at 9 PM? Yes, that was a disgusting move, but I had to do it because I hadn't had a burger that day. Uh, I'm gonna get— I'm gonna—

I'm—

you're gonna see some 4-burger days coming up so that I can, I can I can sprint through the finish line. Like, I want to— I want a Sunday and Labor Day. I want to— I want to be like, hey, maybe I'll have a burger. Start of this week, it's— we're going to— we're going to hit— we're going to hit some numbers big time. Actually, can I tell you another fat move? Tonight I grilled and I made— I made 2 burgers for myself. I made burgers for my family and I made an extra burger that I'm contemplating eating for breakfast. I made an extra one just as a—

yeah, put an egg on it.

Yeah. Breakfast burgers. Nothing wrong.

So I might be doing that tomorrow morning.

There's absolutely nothing wrong.

I haven't taken a picture of it yet because I didn't want to cheat the system. But if I— if you see a burger hit the timeline at 7 in the morning tomorrow, it's because I, I left myself a little something.

That's foul.

That's not foul. You're foul.

Actually, burgers for breakfast are probably pretty healthy.

It's good protein.

It's the most important meal of the day.

You got— you got fat from being fat. I got fat because I have goals.

True, true.

Right. I went out and accomplished something this summer.

Whoa.

I'm— unless I get like seriously ill in the next like 48 hours, I'm accomplishing this.

We don't pop the champagne early on this podcast. That's true.

That's true.

OK, Zach, finish this off.

You thinking like 15 burgers is like— no, is cake. Is— I think you're underestimating.

It actually is cake. I did it for 8 days.

I did it. I did. I did a 14-burger week. 2 weeks ago.

Not hard.

In 7 days.

Okay.

You just got— I just got to do like a 4-burger day.

Hey, the thing is, Hank's not much of an eater.

No, no, you're not.

I don't think you could eat 15 burgers in a month.

Eating 2 burgers is no problem.

I could never eat 2 burgers in one.

I had it for dinner. It was no problem.

You've never done a double burger?

I've done In-N-Out. Like, there's been times when I'll get so excited because I don't have In-N-Out and I get 2 burgers and I can never finish.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's pretty—

I wouldn't even pretend to try and eat 2 burgers.

That's honestly pathetic, Hank, that you can't eat 2 burgers. Every man should be able to eat 2 burgers.

I probably could if I needed to, but like, not for fun.

I know we're going to get in such good shape this NFL season. I'm telling you, I'm ready. I'm going to get strong.

So ready.

I'm going to get fast, lean. Yeah, you'll see. You'll see memes.

I'll show you. All right, Zach.

My first Tuesday of the Week this week is going to be the UFC because we did have another almost uncomfortable knockout over the weekend at UFC Shanghai. Okay, I see this.

No, give it to us. You're a UFC guy.

We're talking about guys getting absolutely—

You're our UFC guy. Hank is our playing guy.

Just 2 guys facing it off and then he finds the button here.

It's really kind of fucked up that you stole that from PFT.

Yeah, the plane.

I saw the story. My good friend PFT.

I didn't tweet about it because I wanted to— I wanted to learn about it and then, and then talk it over with my friends.

Same. All right. I thought it was like laying you up. Well, let's see the—

let's see the— produce out again.

That's a golf reference.

People are also saying that one of the guys and the guy that got knocked out— knocked out's corner tried to spinning elbow the guy that knocked him out.

Oh, yeah. Shane, sounds like you know a lot about UFC.

You want to be the UFC guy?

I can be.

Okay. Okay.

Oh, they're—

yeah.

Now that's, that's a concussed guy that they were trying to move his body too quickly. You know, sometimes where it's like, hey, can we just let him start breathing again? They were just— they were trying to like stand him up.

Yeah.

Trying to like walk him around.

Yeah.

Look at this. This guy right here. That's— get out of there, dude.

I saw, I saw the flying elbow.

Yeah.

Questionable. I have to watch it again.

I think that was more just— oh no, that was a flying elbow.

A little bit of flying elbow.

You can't pretend that was— it's the— it's when he comes back around.

Yeah, maybe, maybe he blacked out. Maybe he got hit with 2 eggs and then just didn't know what happened to him.

Yeah. Okay. What other ones?

Also, did you guys see the UNLV walkout?

Yes, with Elvis.

Yeah, we got to have more Alive and dead guys can walk out of the halls. It's so good. It's so much fun.

Agreed.

Agreed.

That was very cool.

Yeah.

Do you think in 20 years we're going to have Elvis impersonators? Yeah, that might be one of those things that dies away as timeless people that— I mean, do we know anybody our age or younger even that would consider themselves to be an Elvis fan?

I feel like you might be.

I like Elvis. I like his music.

I'm not, not particularly fond of his music. I guess Suspicious Minds is a banger. Yeah. But yeah, I feel like that's— yeah.

Ring of Fire.

Yeah.

What?

Ring of Fire is not—

not Elvis. It's Social Distortion.

That's Johnny Cash.

I know.

Yeah.

OK. Did you?

Yeah. Yeah.

I thought they were the same. In the Ghetto.

That's a great song.

In the Ghetto.

There's a— I just feel like it might be a shot of dust in the baggie.

I want to play you like an animal.

Yeah. No, I think— I just think that I don't see the career opportunities for too many future Elvis impersonators.

I don't know.

It's a dying industry.

But I also think that, like, as people get older, like, I could see myself getting really into Elvis when I'm like 70. And then I'll go see an Elvis impersonator. Maybe that shit kind of stays timeless.

Like, is there anybody from our generation that's going to— we're going to have impersonators of them?

There's money there. Oh, you got impersonators of us?

No.

Hmm.

Kid Rock impersonator would go hard.

Yeah. Fred Durst.

Yeah, that's a good— yeah, that's a good question. Pay money to see Frank Caliendo.

Well, it is.

It is weird.

It's crazy.

It's crazy to think about just like how famous Elvis was because there just were—

there were like 20 famous people in the entire world.

Yeah. And he was, he was number one.

He was number one by far.

Pedophile.

What?

Didn't he date and marry like a 15-year-old?

It's a possibility.

I think she was young, on the young side. Yeah. I think she was.

Was that bad? It's like, I don't know.

Let's, let's, let's, let's do a little idiot jazz. How old was she? Priscilla was—

was she And don't trust the overview. It'll say that he played for the—

Oh, when 14-year-old Priscilla told 24-year-old Elvis Presley. Okay.

All right.

All right. So, yeah, that ain't great. I'm going to say right now, not great.

Not— yeah.

If you want to wait, they met in Germany. When did they— because he was in the Army, right? So when did she come stateside? 17, with her parents' permission, Hank.

He met her when they got married when she was 21. He was 20. Wait, wait. He was 24 and she was in 9th grade when they met.

Yeah. I don't know what happened in Germany.

That's, that's a German problem.

17. Okay. Yeah, that's not great. I'm going to say right now, it's not great.

I don't, I don't love it. Don't look up Jerry Lee Lewis. Maybe you have some skeletons there.

Elvis died on the toilet. That's pretty cool.

That is cool.

That's, that's a man's way to die. I was like, so, I mean, yes, he was so constipated because of the opioids, but still a pretty cool place to die on the toilet.

Yeah. The most manly way to die is you eat 2 burgers and then you just, you try to take a shit.

Yeah.

And it's—

he was—

ate so much you got clogged.

What was it? He was, he was peanut butter and bacon.

Peanut butter banana.

I think it was peanut butter, maybe peanut butter, banana, and bacon. I know there was bacon. That was Elvis's, like, go-to sandwich.

Was there pickles involved?

What was it? Peanut butter, banana, and bacon.

Okay, there we go.

Yeah, that's it.

That's a great—

That's an awesome sandwich.

That's really good sandwich.

You got the sweet of the peanut butter, even though it's a little sweeter, the banana, getting a little health, then the salty of the bacon, 1 tablespoon of butter. Maybe this is— maybe this is how we get healthy. The Elvis.

Yeah, that's probably got some good protein in it, right? Whole grain bread. Now we're going to get so healthy.

I actually am.

Yeah, same.

And I don't give a fuck what memes said.

I can't decide if I'm going to lose weight or gain weight, but either way, it's going to be healthy.

I'm just going to get shredded.

I'm going to bulk and then, and then cut.

Yeah, I'm going to just— That's tricky because just about every time I've said I'm bulking, That bulk has just kind of stayed there.

Yeah, I, I—

everyone likes to bulk, but you got to be a man to cut.

True.

Uh, Zach, you're still in last place in Dingers Only. We just got the updated. You are 12 behind, uh, Max.

Gotta get some bats hot.

Yeah, Che is now in second, so it will be just You guys flip-flopping. You gotta get some bad. What was the bet we made? It was that, uh, if you win—

No, you get minor league homers. We would do the minor league homers. There's a rule change.

Yeah, yeah, you and I made a bet though. I can't remember.

I think we may have. As soon as like it comes to me, I'll let you know the bet.

Either way, you're, you're Team is dogshit. Hank, good job. You're pulling away.

Thank you.

4 weeks left in the regular season.

Yeah. Ball nor.

Big time ball nor.

All right.

Was that it, Zach?

I think it was. If I don't come in last, you're in the punishment too.

That's right. Okay. I feel very confident in that bet. All right, let's do Pete Prisco, and then we will finish with our one-on-one Mount Rushmore, Zach versus Hank.

Before we get to our great friend Pete Prisco, is brought to you by Venmo. Football's back. That means tailgating's back. That means that you're about to spend money on the essentials. You got hot dogs, wings, chips, maybe a jersey that you absolutely did not need. And the great thing is you can buy all of it with the money that's already sitting in your Venmo balance when you use the Venmo debit MasterCard. That's the coolest part. Your Venmo balance is yours to spend on what you want. So when your buddy finally pays you back for the fantasy football punishment supplies, you can turn right around and use that balance instantly with the Venmo debit card. If there's money in your Venmo balance, the Venmo debit card lets you spend it right away. No monthly fee, no minimum balance. Learn more, venmo.com/card. Venmo.com/card.

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And Pete Prisco is also brought to you by Mountain Dew. Nothing like an ice cold Mountain Dew. Nothing goes better with summer camp and hanging with your friends than the refreshing citrus kick of Mountain Dew. We love drinking Mountain Dew at Camp Barstool. What was your guys' favorite part of the week, Hank? What was your favorite part of the week?

Blob. Blob and Jersey Jerry.

Blobbing was awesome. Mine was— mine was actually just hanging in the cabin with the boys.

It's a good time.

What's the boys?

What?

Rico's snoring. Yeah, he doesn't.

He does.

That was my least favorite part.

Yeah, that was not. If he had a Mountain Dew before bed, he probably would have been much more chill.

I was saying more like when we were actually hanging.

Yeah.

Sleeping.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

American original tasting great since '48. Mountain Dew born in the foothills of Tennessee. Enjoy the refreshing citrus kick of Mountain Dew. It's an American original. Grab a Dew tasting great since '48. Now here's Pete Prisco.

Okay.

We now welcome on a very, very special guest, one of our Good, good friends. It is Pete Prisco, CBSsports.com, CBS Sports HQ. He's on the book. I got to find you.

Let's see.

Randy Moss is on there so that maybe he's— is he not on the book? Pete's got to be on the book.

Pete's got to be on the book.

You kicked me out of the book?

I think you've got to be on the book. Well, there's a couple bald guys, so we could just say one of them is you.

Yeah, right. Oh no, that's Charles Barkley.

You're on the book.

Yeah, you're on the book.

You're on the back of the book. The back with Alex Caruso and other bald guys, Stanford Steve, Randy Moss. You might not be on the book. There's a lot of bald guys on the book. Pete, hello. It's almost football season.

What's up, guys?

Excited to have you on. I want to start with my favorite thing that Pete Prisco does for this show every single year. Let's start and we'll go through, you know, teams you like, quarterbacks, all this stuff. But let's start with Who is going to get deep into the playoffs simply because of their schedule? You gave us the Jaguars a couple of years ago. You were a year early, I think, on them. But who is the schedule merchant of the 2026 NFL season?

Well, that's a good question. Schedule merchant. I mean, because the Patriots were kind of the schedule merchant last year.

Yeah.

If you look at their schedule. So what? I'm trying to think of something. So you're talking about somebody that's going to go from a non-playoff team to become a playoff team because of their schedule?

Peter, if there's one thing that's usually pretty consistent about you, you tell us like, look at the schedule, dummy. Yeah, I feel like I've heard you say that a lot. Yeah, where there's one team where the schedule breaks nicely.

You can look at a division, for example. I mean, the Buffalo Bills are going to win the division and they're going to win it easily because look who's in that division.

So you're not buying the Patriots this year?

No, I'm not.

But I think when you win a lot of close games and you don't play a real tough schedule and you kind of falter down the stretch, particularly on offense, that's concerning to me.

Okay. Okay.

So I think Buffalo is going to run away with that division. I really do.

I got one for you. I think the Detroit Lions are the team that has a softer schedule because remember last year, and I'm not a big believer, you know, everyone's like, oh, first place schedule. It's 3 games that are different. But it can be a big 3 games. And the Vikings stupidly won 5 games at the end of the season for nothing to show for it to finish 3rd in the NFC North. And the Lions were one of those teams that felt like a snakebitten team last year where they lost a lot of close games. Their offense is still going to be very good. They get the, the, the way the schedule goes, they get to play, I think it's the Cardinals. I, I can't remember who else is in, in— oh, the Cardinals and the Giants are 2 of the teams that they get to play where it's like the Bears have to play the Seahawks, you know what I mean? There's a little difference there. Uh, do you, do you buy in on the Lions at all this year?

No, I don't. And I think the division's brutal. It is. If I have to stack that division, I still think the Packers are good. I do it every year. I know people give me crap about it, but I still think the Packers are good. I think your Bears are going to be good on offense. I don't know how good they'll be on defense.

It could be, that could be rough on defense.

Yep.

Yeah.

Yeah. And then I think Minnesota, if they get anything from Kyler Murray, you know, they're gonna be really good on defense. So where does that put the line? You know, maybe they have an easy out-of-division schedule, but the division's still brutal. So that's concerning to me.

Okay. One other team.

I think the Cowboys— and nobody wants to hear this, but I'm, I'm bullish on the Cowboys.

I am too.

Yeah.

Let's talk about it.

I hear a lot about that. The Cowboys are— I mean, they're, they're a fun team to, to observe, fun team to watch. Do people really want to see the Cowboys be good though?

Why not? You don't because you're Commanders, correct? So why not?

I, I think the Cowboys are gonna be good as well, Pete, but you tell me, you give me your pitch because I think it's like they, they've added guys on defense, their offense should be explosive, they have all 3, you know, 3 skill positions spoken for. Dak, when healthy, has proven that he can be a very good quarterback. What's your pitch on the Cowboys?

Well, we know they're gonna score a ton of points. And I know there's some concern about the offensive line. They made a trade to get Broderick Jones. I mean, he's not a great player, so they're concerned about their tackles, but I think they'll be okay there. They're going to score points on offense. I think the biggest difference is going to be on defense.

Yeah.

I mean, you get a new defensive coordinator who's going to do a lot of different things. They got a lot of— they got a ton of athletes up front now who can rush the passer. And I think they're going to be creative. I love what they've done on defense in the offseason. So they're going to be that much better. They don't have to be a number 1, 2, 3, 4 defense. They just have to be significantly better. And I think they will be.

Yeah.

So I think Dallas, Dallas to me is going to win the division. I think they'll be better than the Eagles. I think they're going to be better than the Giants and the Commanders. I think they win that division.

What about the Rams? Or I want to hear your take on, on Aaron Donald. This is probably the first time that we've had a team add 2 top 10 all-time defensive linemen in one offseason. I mean, on paper it seems like it should work, but I know you've got to take, Pete. I know that you see like Aaron Donald taking 2 years off football and thinking he can come back. How do you think that's going to shake out?

Well, I mean, it doesn't happen every day. So it's— everybody's sitting there saying, well, he's in the greatest shape of his life, look at how much he works out, everything. But football shape and playing the game is different than working out in your gym. He's a freak in the gym, we know that. He was a freak as a football player. He was. But he's 35. He hadn't played in 2 years. That's a long time not to play football. So we'll see. But if they get 80% of Aaron Donald, that's better than most defensive linemen in the league. If they get 50% of Aaron Donald, that could be a problem.

Yeah.

So we'll see. And here's the other thing. What is it, 4 times in the last 30 years the team that was the odds-on favorite to win it all has won it? I think it's 4 times. So on paper, the Rams are too easy to pencil in. And I'm with you. I think it's a great team on paper, but they have concerns. Yeah, they're not fast. The receivers aren't fast. The running backs aren't fast. The offensive line is okay. It's not great. And so there are concerns with that team. And they play in, you know, in that division with Seattle, who's, you know, people just sleeping on Seattle. They're really good.

Oh, I like what you did there. I like that. That was a good, good one. Tom Hanks.

Meg Ryan.

Remember that?

Love that. All right. So talk about Seattle.

Sleepless in Seattle. Yeah.

I do agree with you. It's weird that the Seahawks won the Super Bowl. All the questions about Sam Darnold were seemingly answered. The fact that he didn't, you know, yes, in the Super Bowl specifically, did he have to carry that team? Absolutely not. The defense was incredible and lights out. But he did play really, really well in the NFC Championship Game. He played well against the Rams down the stretch. Uh, but it's weird going into this season. No one— everyone's kind of like, yeah, they're not gonna do it again. Like, no way, they can't do it again. And that's just bizarre to me because they did come on so strong and they played in the toughest division and they just throttled teams down the stretch.

And, and you know what, he proved me wrong. I didn't, I didn't know he had that in him. I'll be honest with you, I didn't think he had it in him. And every, every game throughout the whole season Big games, you sat there and you said, oh, he's going to Sam Darnold, he's going to Darnold, you know, and he didn't. And he played really good football and they did a really good job of dominating on defense and not let— and they got big plays, by the way. You look at his yards per attempt, he actually got the ball down the field.

Yeah.

So kudos to him. Kudos to that offense. And by the way, Kenneth Walker's gone. I think Ja'Darian Price is going to be a star in that offense. I don't think they're going to miss Kenneth Walker. By the way, he was splitting time with Charbonnet before Charbonnet got hurt. People forget that. Yeah. So I think Seattle's right there again. I think Mike McDonald has the right temperament for the job, and I think defensively they're going to be dominant again. And look, you win by knocking the other guy's quarterback down over and over again, and that's what they do.

I, I agree with the Kenneth Walker thing. I, I think the Seahawks will be just fine. I do. I, I think it's, you know, one of those situations where free agent signing is kind of a win for both teams because Seattle was able to not have to pay a running back that much. They get a running back in the draft and the Chiefs. I love Kenneth Walker on the Chiefs. The Chiefs have had just atrocious, atrocious running games. And if Kenneth Walker can, can be that guy who, you know, has the threat to get these chunk yards, their offense could look a lot better because I don't know what else on their offense is like Like blowing you away right now, except for the fact that it's Patrick Mahomes.

By the way, I think people are sleeping on that team too. Yeah, I mean, you have Andy Reid who might end up being the greatest coach of all time when it's all said and done.

Uh, Belichick just won in Ireland. Has Andy Reid ever done that with a college team?

No, but he was playing TCU, was terrible.

Just saying, just saying, just saying. Andy Reid ever won a college football game?

up with the most wins of anybody. Let's just say he wins another Super Bowl, which is entirely possible. He stays 3 or 4 more years, then he's going to be in the conversation as greatest coach of all time. And you have Patrick Mahomes. Now he's coming off the knee injury, so we don't know what he's going to be like when people are actually trying to hit him. But I think he's going to be close to being 100%. They're going to score points because, you know, they've had problems. But I think their receivers are good enough. I think Kelce's capable in the middle field. He's not the same guy. And they'll run the ball. But I love what they've done on defense.

Mm-hmm.

You add Peter Woods, Armason Thomas, who's gonna be a star rushing the passer, Delane at corner, and then you've got other guys that are gonna get better like Gelati, Ashton Gelati, guys like that. They're gonna take the next step. And we know Spags is gonna be able to scheme stuff open. I mean, scheme stuff to get people and hit the quarterback. So I, I think the Chiefs are being slept on.

Yeah.

I really do. I think they're one of those teams that nobody— oh, the window's closed, they're done. No, it's not. They're gonna be right there in the mix again.

Yeah, so the teams you look for that had the year from hell, where it's like, is it the year from hell and everything went wrong, and, and are the bones of the structure still good? And I would say that's the Chiefs.

I mean, by the way, I looked it up. Andy Reid, actually, he, uh, he scored a 23-meter shot against Cyprus in a World Cup qualifier in Ireland, uh, and he had a free kick goal, uh, 35 yards against Bulgaria, November 18th, 2003. Andy Reid was apparently the name of a captain of the Irish Wow. Soccer team.

Okay.

So yeah, so better than Belichick. Yeah, that is better than Belichick. So when you're looking at the schedule, there's one team expectations probably couldn't be any lower. We're not sure if they're even going to play offense this year. The Cleveland Browns. Their schedule, though, is very favorable. It's not the hardest that you'll see. In fact, I think it's probably the easiest in the league. Um, what do you make of what's going on in Cleveland? Um, is there, is there somebody that can play quarterback for them on their roster right now?

No, there's not.

Okay.

And they're going to be bad at the quarterback position. But you know what they're going to be good at? On defense. Yeah, I think they're going to be feisty on defense. They have good players on defense. They've drafted well the last 2 years, and they just got to get it ready and keep it nice and warm, keep that seat warm for Arch Manning for next year. That's what they got to do. I mean, because look, their quarterback situation's a mess. Deshaun Watson, not very good. Shedeur Sanders, not very good. Now Dylan Gabriel's on, you know, on IR. He's not there now, even though they kept him. And then, and then they have the kid Green. They're not good at quarterback. So they're going to have to be able to try and run the ball, manufacture some offense. But I think they're going to be tough on defense and they're going to be a problem for teams on defense. So get it all ready for next year.

Yeah.

And then draft your quarterback next year. And you bring him in there and then you start building around that guy.

So we were talking about that a couple days ago with, uh, with the Manning factor and how it seems like he right now— I mean, there's a lot of college football left to be played, but you would assume that he might be the number 1 pick in next year's draft. Um, Eli famously declined to go to the Chargers. Would that be a situation that the Manning family would flex against the Browns? We think maybe not because Haslam, Tennessee, the connection they got with Peyton They're probably on good terms, but I don't know what you've heard about that, if anything.

Yeah, they're on good terms. I don't think they would flex on that one. I think he would go there, and I think it would be a great opportunity for him. But look, like you said, there's a lot of football left to play this college football season. There's a lot of guys in the college football draft next year that are going to be capable of being the number 1 overall pick. I think Dante Moore might end up being it. Darius Mensah might end up being that guy. Mestenmaker, I don't know if you guys have seen him at Oklahoma State. There's a lot of guys. CJ Cart, Notre Dame. There's a lot of guys in that draft. So Cleveland, play this year with whoever you play at quarterback. Get through it. It's not gonna be fun. And get your guy next year. Then all of a sudden you solve that quarterback problem.

Yeah, then you're back at it again. Pete, with the 2 quarterbacks in the AFC that haven't gotten it done, Lamar and Josh Allen, which of these 2 guys do you think is going to be most affected when they don't win a Super Bowl next year?

In terms of taking the heat?

Yeah. Who's— yeah, whose seat is going to be hotter when they inevitably flame out at the end of the year? And we hope Josh wins.

Yeah, I think probably Buffalo, because look, I think Josh, you know, a lot of people consider Josh the best player in the league now. And if that's the case, you gotta— you got your guy in as the coach, you got to go out and put up big numbers and, and be able to carry that team to a Super Bowl. You know, enough's enough. And then look, Look, I'm a big believer in what they do. I'm a big believer in what they've done to change things. I thought Sean McDermott was a hell of a coach, but it got stale and it got, you know, things got old. They had to change the way they do things. When you're at 3rd and 12 or 3rd and 10 in the playoff game and you play a soft zone and they hit a 12-yard pass and keep the drive alive, you got to do things differently. And I think Jim Leonard will be aggressive.

Yeah.

I think, I think the offense will be much more aggressive. Like I said to people up there when I was, when I was up there a couple weeks ago, James Cook led the league in rushing last year. Would you rather have James Cook beat you or Josh Allen beat you? If James Cook's going to beat me, go ahead. I'd rather have him running the ball than Josh Allen doing his thing any day of the week.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So I think we're going to see more Josh Allen and loose and free Josh Allen, which I think they need to do.

Yeah, I, I, I think I agree with you there. I think Joe Brady, like, it might be a situation where he was being not held back. But, you know, Sean McDermott ran the show, and now you get to see Joe Brady be a little bit more creative and, and lean into the strengths. And I think he's going to be— and I, I do love Jim Leonard. Uh, I think that's gonna be an aggressive defense. It's gonna not do exactly what you described in the playoffs. What about a team that everyone's high on that you are not high on? Because that's where you shine, Pete. That's where I love, I love to hear your takes.

It— teams that I'm, I'm— that everybody's high on that I'm not, I would say the one that concerns me as much as anybody is the Texans.

Oh, okay, because I'm high on the Texans.

I'm high on their defense, but boy, we got to see that offense. And that offense, to me, there's a lot of things to worry about. The new offensive line, they— it's different than it's been, but is it better? Are they going to run the ball better? And what are we going to get from CJ Stroud?

Yeah.

And who's he throwing to? Yeah, I mean, Nico Collins is a big-time player, but where else is he going to?

Yeah, Ke'Shawn Booty. I mean, but all right, let me pitch you on, on the I think it's year 2 in the offensive system. I do think their offensive line's going to be better. And I think David Montgomery, like they needed— the Texans, it feels like they've had just a quarterback revolving door where guys have been good but then get hurt. And David Montgomery can be that bell cow back for them. And I think that will take a lot of pressure off CJ Stroud where he doesn't, especially because here's why I'm high on the Texans when it all boils down to it. Their defense was so good last year. CJ Stroud just had to play like a C+ and they could have won the Super Bowl. He ended up playing a D- and that's why they got bounced in the playoffs. But it's not like you're asking CJ Stroud to be a top 5 quarterback. You need CJ Stroud to, to, to basically have the 12th best offense in the league. And I think they could do that.

They're not better than Jacksonville.

Oh, okay.

Okay.

High on the Jags.

Weird. You've never been high on the Jags.

Jagging off.

I mean, that team won 13 games last year and everybody's sitting there saying, oh, they lost this guy and that guy. They lost Devin Lloyd. They didn't really care if they lost Devin Lloyd. They lost Achane, ETN, whatever his name is now.

And they didn't care if they lost—

Don't do that to me.

You said it right the first time. You know his name.

Achane.

Yeah. Yeah. There you go.

You got it. Okay.

Okay. Okay. So they lost that. You look at their team, they add a top-level corner to that team that wasn't there a year ago. though. Travis Hunter's a shutdown corner. Now he kicks over, the guy who was playing the 1 corner now becomes the 2, the 2 becomes the 3, and now all of a sudden you're pretty good across the board on the corner position, which is important for them. And I think, you know, offensively they're going to score a ton of points. I, I mean a ton of points because I think Trevor Lawrence was in the MVP conversation last year and he's going to be in that conversation again this year. And by the way, I don't know if your producer wants to make that argument about Jalen Hurts versus Trevor Lawrence again. I don't think—

Oh, let's kick it over to our producer. Well, Max is on a Max vacation right now.

He's in, he's in Italy.

But, uh, Zach, because he didn't, he didn't want to have— he didn't want any part of the smoke on this one.

Yes, Zach, you fill in for Max here and argue Jalen Hurts over Trevor Lawrence.

Jalen Hurts could never do it, or Trevor Lawrence could never do what Jalen Hurts has done on a football field.

What's that?

What's that?

What is that?

I mean, his ability to move around the pocket, get the ball down the field. We've seen some of that from Trevor Lawrence, little splashes of it, But Jalen Hurts is the whole bucket, you know what I mean?

Well, he's not a great passer, so I don't know what you mean. I think— look, hey, look, Jalen Hurts, you can never take away what he's done in the Super Bowl. Nobody will ever take that away from him. He's had that moment. So did Nick Foles once upon a time too. And he's been good. He hasn't been great. But the city— remember last year when Max was like, oh, it's not even close. It's Jalen Hurts against Trevor Lawrence. It's not even close. Who would you guys take now? Yeah, you had to, you had to go right now. Who would you take as your quarterback?

Oh man, Max isn't here, so I'll say, I'll say Jalen Hurts. But when Max comes back, I will fully deny that I said that.

Well, I think context matters. I would take Jalen Hurts if he had Liam Cohen.

I wouldn't take— I wouldn't take Jalen Hurts with Liam Cohen, and I don't think Liam Cohen would take Jalen Hurts.

Okay, because I do think that the Eagles offense— I mean, we've seen it every other year, it just becomes the, the, the most like Pathetic and unoriginal offense you could possibly have. And I, I don't know if that's all on Jalen Hurts. Some of it is, but some of it's not on him.

I mean, it is. It's a tough argument to make because the Eagles, their offense is— it does a lot of stuff, right? And so Jalen Hurts doesn't have to be like a gunslinger as much as some of the other guys in the league. But—

Well, question, could he be a gunslinger if he had to be?

I don't know.

I don't think so.

I don't know.

I don't think you want him slinging a gun. No.

Okay, well then, then he's limited throwing the football. And look, he's had his great moments, you can't take them away from him. But if you had to ask me that argument right now, a year ago Max was so hot to trot on the thing, and he's wrong because he's been wrong.

I don't— I hate that you're making me argue in defense of Max, but at the time I think he had just won a Super Bowl, so of course Max is going to say that. And he looked great in the Super Bowl too.

And Max is an Eagles fan.

Yeah, and you get to say if you win the Super Bowl, you get to say your guy's the best.

Yeah, but that's not always the case. Was Nick Foles ever the best?

Well, the year after, yeah.

It's the greatest accident in the history of the National Football League.

That's what that was. Oh man, I think Sam Darnold— greatest accident in the history of the National Football League.

Sam Darnold is, is the best quarterback in the NFL right now. Yes, that's what I will say.

What time is it in Italy right now? No chance Max is awake, right?

You don't believe— you do not believe— you do not believe that Sam Darnold is the best quarterback in the NFL.

No, I don't. But you have to say it.

You have to say it.

should 100% be saying that right now. Yeah. And they should be entitled to believe that.

Right. But if they told you that, you guys would laugh in their face because that's not true. Well, no, Josh Allen or Sam Darnold, go ahead, have at it.

Well, then they'd say like, well, Sam just won a Super Bowl. And then I'd be like, damn, but check winning Super Bowl.

I mean, Trent Dilfer won a Super Bowl.

Yeah.

Yeah. Elite.

That was what he was saying. He's elite.

Yeah.

Yeah. Flacco.

Brad Johnson won a Super Bowl.

That is a great quarterback. Awesome quarterback.

What?

All right.

All right. Speaking of Brad Johnson's team, Are the Bucs— I have them pegged and I love Baker. I just think that the vibes are so like, that was such a clear spot where they could have fired Todd Bowles last year. And I don't know if it's going to look any different than it did down the stretch where they, they kind of quit on him. Like you can't, if you watch that, they had the most talented team in the NFC South and Baker was banged up and he's always like the toughest guy out there. But is that going to look any different this year? Is it going to come back? They still have a talented roster. But are they going to be able to, you know, get back to the playoffs and win that division, which they, they should be able to on paper?

They will. They're going to win the division. Look at that division. Carolina's not any good. Atlanta's got pass rush quarterback issues, and, and the Saints are rising, but we don't know yet.

Tyler Shaw.

Tyler Shaw.

We don't know if he can do it again consistently.

He can do it again.

He did.

I look, I like what I saw from him. Well, you got to show me again.

Pete, who do you think throws a more catchable ball, Trevor Lawrence or Tyler Shuck?

Tyler Shuck throws a pretty pass.

Yeah, he does.

Damn right.

Yeah, he does.

Yeah, he does.

Oh, I did a bad job.

He's also 32 or something, isn't he? Didn't he just turn 32?

Tyler Shuck? No, he's like 28 or something.

No, you're doing the thing that Big Cat does with, uh, with Love.

Yeah, Jordan Love is 36. That is a fact.

No, no, I'm telling you, Tyler Shuck is like 27.

He's 26 years old. Okay, relax. Yes, he will be 27 week 3, whatever.

There you go.

Yeah, whatever.

Well, I know, but the Bucs— here's the thing about the Bucs. Their offense had 2 players start the entire season. It was Baker, who was banged up and probably shouldn't have, and Graham Barton, who played at left tackle for 3 games. So, and he's their starting center. So they, they were so banged up on offense, you couldn't tell what they were.

That's true.

I think, and I think now the offensive line's good when they're on the field. I think Ibuka's gonna have a big year. They like their receivers. Baker, you know, Baker's playing with a chip on his shoulder. He wants the damn money.

Yep.

And then on defense, I think adding Bain, getting David Walker back, who by the way has been phenomenal this summer, and getting, getting Canty on the field, they're gonna be able to attack the quarterback, which you weren't able to do last year. So I think Tampa's the team to beat in that division. And, and And I think they have a chance to get a little hot in the playoffs and maybe scare some people.

Oh shit. All right. You've changed my opinion on Tampa. I, I do. I, I probably would like pick them to win that division just because I just, I'm always, I'm always very aware. Maybe it's like the Bears in me where it's like, if you leave, if you let a head coach stay an extra year, it's like, what are you expecting to change? You know what I mean?

Like you're bringing a bad coordinator on offense.

Yeah.

Zach Robinson's in on offense now. So I think I think that might help them, but we'll see. A lot of people in Atlanta didn't like Zach Robinson. It's hard to evaluate him when the fans are screaming at him all the time.

Pete, I was a big fan, always am a big fan of reading your top 100 players list that you come up with. I got a question for you. How do you compare— because the thing that makes me laugh the most is when you see, all right, you've got Tristan Wirfs at 22 and then you've got Devin Witherspoon. Right after him. And like, how do you compare— is this offensive lineman better at football than this cornerback? Like, how, how do you get down to it?

Oh, well, that one, I mean, usually comes— are you better at your position than you are at his? And that's how it comes. So you could, you could make that top 100 all quarterbacks if you wanted to go by the basis of value of the position, right? It would be all top, top 10 would be all quarterbacks. So is Tristan Wirfs better at his position than Witherspoon is at his. And that's kind of how I judge that.

Got it. So we appreciate you put this list out in late June when there was like nothing to talk about in the NFL because it gave us like 45 seconds to go back and forth. And there was one part that was interesting to, to this show. The quarterbacks at number 69 and 70 were Jayden Daniels and Caleb Williams.

Why?

Why there and why in that order?

Well, I, I still think Jayden Daniels was hurt last year, all year, and it impacted who he was. And Caleb Williams got better and earned his spot on that list. But let's not go crazy because he still didn't complete over 60% of his passes last year.

Oh, you're one of them. You're one of them. I love you. I love, I love guys like you.

I thought he—

I—

hey, Big Cat, I thought he made big strides last year. I'm not going to take that away from him. But he's got to be better at 1, 2, 3 and getting the ball out rather than 1, 2, 3, running around for 20 minutes and making a great play. That doesn't happen all the time.

I'm not— I'm giving you shit. I actually have no problem with that critique. But what I would say back to you is, would you rather have a guy— and this is just in general— like where all you have to just raise his floor because you already know the ceiling is like sky high? That's really what it is. He's got to make the little plays, like, easier. He's got to make the simple plays simple and, and, and, and get those checkdowns. I would rather— I would take the guy who you just got to raise that floor a little bit.

Correct. Again, like, when a coach grades a play and he goes 1, 2, he's got to get— he's got to read it through and he's supposed to throw to number 3 and he doesn't throw it to 3 and instead he runs around and he makes this amazing throw to the back of the end zone. On the grade sheet, that's a negative. Yeah, minus. But he made the play. He's got to get to where he's making the plays in the offense. And you know Ben Johnson wants him to do that. He's going to get there. He will get there. Yeah, but he's not there yet. No, that's kind of why I ranked him.

Ben Johnson is a psycho that will get him there. And I think Caleb Williams is bought all the way in. Like, that's— yes, it's very clear that that is a really good, healthy relationship that is—

Yeah, but you know what? They got to quit going for it on 4th down all the time.

Oh, well, guess what? Our defense is so bad, I think it might happen. happen some more. I— because you have to play to the strengths of your team. Like, I don't— I don't think— I, I'm very nervous about the Bears defense. They, they made one big signing in the offseason with Kobe Bryant, and they were like, hey, we're gonna get covered. Yeah, we get coverage sacks, and then he's hurt, and, uh, Kyler Gordon can't stay on the field. The pass rushes didn't get markedly better unless one of the rookies pops. So yeah, that, that is a big concern for the Bears.

Yeah, and you know, I, I said something— we had Ben Johnson on at the Combine, and I said, hey, look, you got to stop going for all the time. And he said, well, you know, I'll make you a convert. Well, you know, you're never going to convert me. I think if you go back to— if you go to the playoffs, 4 teams, I think it was 4 teams cost themselves a chance to move on by making dumb decisions, by going for it on 4th down. Jacksonville did it.

Remember?

Yeah, they got— they went for it, didn't get it. The Bears did it a couple of different times, didn't do it.

Well, they also won the Packers game because they were aggressive.

Yeah, but they did the Rams game. They lost because they did— they made them bad decisions. And again, the reason being exactly what you said. The defense wasn't good enough. So you were in that situation. You had to. Then Sean Payton, what in the hell was that in the playoffs?

Yeah.

I mean, you got to— you know, the snow's coming. You got to kick a field goal in that scenario. That was bad. And then, and then there was one more. And I— oh, the Rams. What were the Rams doing in the Seattle game at the end of the half? Remember, there was 2 scenarios. And Sean McVay is a great coach, but he got the ball at the end of the half and he tried to throw the ball. And remember, they got the ball back instead of running it, running out the clock, and they scored at the end of the half. And then late in the game, he went for a touchdown when he could have kicked a field goal, made it a 1-point game, and put all the pressure on Sam Darnold.

It sounds like you're playing the results.

I'm playing situational football. They all need to learn it. They're not great at it.

I listen, I, there's definitely, I mean, I feel like Ben Johnson even said it in press conferences after the Rams game in the offseason. Like you got to learn like the outdoor football in January in Chicago. Like you got to play a different style and there's got to be a different game script. Sean McVay didn't know that during that game too. I was at that game. Sean McVay, it took him 3 quarters to realize, hey, we can just run it down their throat and they finally did it.

And that's when But remember that 4th and— yeah, was it 4th and goal from the 6 or something? Yeah, with about 4 and a half minutes to go in the game, and he went for it instead of kicking. They were down 4 instead of kicking the field goal. Make it— put it all on Sam Darnold. Go make a play. Make him make plays.

Yeah. Uh, by the way, I did a bad job at the start of this because I should have said I'm very sorry. Uh, today is cut day, and, uh, you lost Will Levis. I know he is.

Yeah, I was wrong about that.

Where was he? Was he like 20 on your top 100 list?

Yeah, no, he wasn't on the top 100 list, but I'll tell you what, when he came out, I thought he was going to be really good.

I was wrong.

Yeah, I can admit what I can see. Unlike some people in this business, I can admit when I'm wrong.

Who's that?

Name names.

You also were wrong about Russell Wilson. Russell Wilson was at the Winner's Circle in Saratoga yesterday. I was there. So you're wrong about him.

That's right, his horse won.

Yeah, he's a winner. Yeah, you were wrong.

How was I wrong?

I don't know, you always just bash him.

Yeah, you hate Russell Wilson. You hate any mobile quarterback.

You said he'd never win a horse race.

I did. Did I say that?

Yeah, yeah, he did.

It sounds like he's got a good horse.

Yeah, yeah, way better than the Broncos team he was on. What about, what about Justin Herbert? Where are you at with him? I know that you've been like, uh, uh, dubious. You've been skeptical about Justin Herbert at times.

Um, but yeah, I've not been skeptical about him. I think he's got all the— everything it takes to win in this league, but it's time, right? Yeah, it's time. Go win, win a playoff You know, it's time for him.

Yeah.

And, and it hasn't always been him. I mean, that offensive line last year when they lost their 2 tackles was awful. But it's— now he's got Mike McDaniel calling plays. He's gonna have a running game. The line should be better even though he lost his center. And, and they should be okay on defense. It's time.

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What do you think it's going to look like with Mike McDaniel? Because it's— this is fascinating to me is that Mike McDaniel, like, I think that as much as we make the jokes about Mike McDaniel and Harbaugh being, you know, different guys and different philosophies, Mike McDaniel did have a true, like, shove it down your throat running game in San Francisco. The thing that Mike McDaniel has never had is a guy with a cannon. You know, he coached Tua. Before that, what, Jimmy G? And like, he's never had the guy who can just make every single throw. So what does that look like for him and how he's going to shape his offense?

I can't wait to see it. I'll be honest with you. Look, Mike McDaniel head coach, not good. Mike McDaniel offensive coordinator is going to be fun and he's going to be really good. They're going to score a lot of points and Herbert's going to love him. But you're right, the foundation of what Mike McDaniel wants to do is run the football, right? Foundation of what Jim Harbaugh wants to do is run the football. And so Hampton's going to put up big numbers running the football, and that's going to take a lot of the pressure off of Herbert. He's going to make some big throws down the field. I, I think they're going to be good on offense. But again, what they do in the regular season is not going to matter. They got to get to the postseason and win playoff games.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So what's the team from last year that did not make the playoffs that you think is going to be in this year?

Well, that's a good question. Well, Tampa didn't make it, so I think they're going to win the division, so they'll be in.

Okay.

Okay.

I think, I think the Bengals are going to win the division.

Oh, okay. So it's all going to come together. This is like a— that's a big year, especially for the coach there. Feels like they kind of have to win.

They better win. You're right. They better win. If they don't win, I think there's going to be some heads rolling there. And, and look, Burrow's got to stay on the field. We know that if he's on the field, they're going to score points, period. End of story. But with what they've done on defense, they're going to be much better on defense this year. And they don't have to be— again, like the Cowboys, they don't have to be top 5, top 7. You know, they need to be in 10, 11, 12, and you're going to win the division. And I think they will. I think this is the year for the Bengals to get back, win the division, and be a factor in the playoffs.

Can I throw out another team for you that, uh, were worst-placed teams last year that I actually think are going to be better? It's actually 2 teams, and they share a I think the Jets and the Giants are going to be better. I think the Giants may be better than the Jets, but I actually think both those teams are going to have significantly better seasons than they did last year. And they're going to have more stability. And like, I think like the— you could say what you want about Geno. Maybe he's too old, but he's better than what they've had recently. You know, maybe year 2 of Rodgers when he was kind of not mobile. But like, I think those teams are going to be a lot more in the conversation than they've been in the last however long. It's been a long time. And actually, you know, maybe win some games they shouldn't win, maybe get into that 6, 7, 8 win situation where, hey, they're fighting for a playoff spot down in December.

I would think the Giants would be better. I think the Giants would be a better team. But you're right, they'll both be better than what they were. I just worry about the Jets. Are they going to be good, you know, better to the point where they're not going to get the quarterback they need to get next year?

Right.

You know what I mean? Like, and, and, you know, my— the guy Rick Spielman who used to work with us, I tell him all the time, you should have just tanked. You should have tanked. I mean, you know, why go sign Geno? Because Geno's capable of having good games. Why do that when you can just tank? Yeah, they signed a lot of veterans on defense, by the way. They added guys on that defense Uh, that'll make it better. So I'm with you. I think they'll, they'll be better. They're not going to be good, and that's the problem. If you're better and not good, you take yourself out of the quarterback derby.

And I think the Giants have a chance of being good because the Giants were weird last year.

Good how?

Well, okay, so here's my pitch for the Giants. Do you remember the games the Giants played last year where they had like some of the most insane, uh, like collapses? Remember the Broncos game, the Bears game in Soldier Field? They get— Jackson Dart gets knocked out. Like there's, there was a shitload of games where they just fell apart. Harbaugh's going to bring stability. Harbaugh's going to actually give them, you know, if you're talking about the margins, Harbaugh's going to have them play good special teams. That's what he always does. And if Jackson Dart could stay healthy, I like, I think that's a team that like they're going to, you're going to see a big jump that, that, that big jump that you get when you actually get a real head coach who has like a foundation in an organization And knows how to get guys ready for games?

Well, we know they're going to be able to rush the passer. I mean, that, that we know. And, and I saw them work out with Miami last week and they, they, they just dominated the Dolphins. It was, it was amazing. I mean, they come at all, they come in waves. They have so many athletes that can come after the quarterback. So yeah, they're going to be able to rush the passer. It's all on Dart. If Dart takes the next step, then they're going to win 7 or 8 games and they're going to maybe push for a playoff spot. If he doesn't, then they have major problems. So I would agree with you. I think Harbaugh will give them a little bit of oomph in terms of coaching. I think their offensive line could be a lot better than it's been. And I think defensively they're going to get after the quarterback. Here's the problem, though. To get after the quarterback, you got to stop the run. Are they good enough stopping the run with no Dexter Lawrence in the middle of that line and the guys they have in there? That's the concern.

OK, Pete, how many, how many different training camps do you go to visit each summer?

Not many. I only went to about— I saw like 6, 7 teams this year.

Okay, that's not bad.

No, I go see— I like, I went to Green Bay and spent 2 days. Uh, I went to Buffalo and spent 2 days. I'm working on a big story that it'll come out next week on, or maybe this week, on, uh, what the hell has happened to the NFL passing game.

Okay, well, yeah, the floor is yours. What the hell has happened?

Yeah, give us a teaser.

Well, there's 5 reasons and, and I broke them all down. One is the Vic Fangio effect, and everybody plays off coverage. They dare you to— you got to be patient. They don't give you the big play down the field. 2 is offensive line play is horrendous in this league, and it doesn't allow you to have time to hit the big shots down the field. 3 is the quarterback intelligence coming out of college ain't what it used to be because it's all stand in the shotgun, look over to the coach, and get the play. 4 is The looks that defenses throw at you are so creative now, like you've never seen. It's incredible. And, and going talking to all the quarterbacks and all the coaches about it, I'm telling you, it's amazing. And 5 is, and nobody wanted to, none of the coaches wanted to hear this when I said it to them, they've all become when it comes to throwing the football.

Okay. Yeah.

I like that. Yeah. Wait, can I, can I go to 4 real quick? Who in your coordinator, because we know Fangio, we know Spags. Is there a couple guys though that are doing stuff— like McDonald will be another one— but are there a couple guys that maybe aren't, uh, the flashy name, the names that come right to your head, that they're doing stuff on defense that is really giving people problems?

Well, I think Flores. Yeah, I mean, he's an obvious one. The stuff he does and the looks he throws at you, they're incredible. I mean, they really are. And, and, and he comes from all different directions, and he's exotic with his coverages in the back end. I mean, it's just what they do. And his is different because he's much more aggressive and he leaves his guys out on islands a little bit more, but the creativity is amazing. And it's not just, you know, it used to be one of the things, remember when a guy went in motion, teams would say, oh, well, he follows him, so they're in man-to-man. Well, now they follow him and they play zone behind him.

Right.

And so there's no indicators anymore and safeties rotating at the last second and quarterback's got to be on all the time. And, and I think also, and a lot of guys, I told them this, I said, you guys would rather have your quarterback throw for 210, 1 and none, than 340, 3 and 2. Oh, not me, not me, not me. Oh, every one of them, not me, not me. Yeah, you, you, you, you, and you.

I love this.

Yeah, it's good because we agree. Yeah, we want our quarterbacks throwing some interceptions from time to time.

Yeah, push the limits.

And I've had many a quarterback tell me, I could go through the whole season without throwing a pick if I wanted to. But that means I'm not throwing in any windows.

That's Aaron Rodgers. Late Aaron Rodgers. That's what he does.

Yeah. And so again, I talked to Josh Allen, Jordan Love, Trevor Lawrence. I spent an hour in Liam Coan's office, talked to Joe Brady, Matt LaFleur, you know, Baker Mayfield, all of them. And to a man, the coaches were all defensive when I said, oh yeah, well, not me, not me. That's not me. Well, yeah, it's all of you. It's all of you. You know, you know, the passing numbers were the lowest— average yards were the lowest they've been since 2009 last year. Yeah, that's crazy.

I mean, Drake Maye didn't have a 300-yard game until like pretty much the end of the season. It was crazy.

Remember, we had 5— used to have 5,000-yard passers. Now if you throw for 4,000 yards, you're having a great year.

Yeah.

So actually, the Bears will throw a ticker tape parade if somebody throws one.

Never happened.

Right.

If you look at the, the The single-game all-time record in the NFL, it's Norman Van Brocklin, and he had what, 554 yards? And it was in 1951. That's crazy that that record hasn't been broken.

Well, here's the other thing. The completion of all the— I think it's of the top 18 completion percentage single-season completion percentages, I think 9 of them have happened in the last like 5 years.

Yeah, but wait, I thought that that was your knock against Caleb, was He didn't have a high enough completion percentage.

Well, yeah, but completion percentages have gone up and yards per attempt have gone down.

Dinking and dunking.

Yeah, it's Dick and Dunkley.

That's what it is. So it sounds like you're actually secretly in love with Caleb Williams. Yeah, because he is the guy that—

I think Caleb Williams has made— I love watching the guy go from here to there, and he did that last year. That's impressive.

Yeah, but he is what PFT is saying. You're like, what you want out of an NFL quarterback, like The, the 20 years ago, you want Caleb Williams doing that.

It's like—

I want him doing it, dropping into— back into the pocket and then ripping one 40 yards, not dropping back in the pocket and taking off and running around in circles for a half hour.

You're giving mixed signals, you know that? You're giving mixed signals.

I think it's because he loves him and he's afraid— deep down it makes him scared.

Yeah.

And that's okay. You'll figure it out one day.

You know what I'm talking about because you both know you want your quarterback going back in the pocket and ripping it 40 yards.

Yeah. Well, all right. So give me another quarterback that I think is not controversial, but people can look at it and see something different. Bo Nix. This is a big year. The Broncos are— I think the Broncos are another team that's getting a little bit slept on where everyone's like, oh, well, they won last year and, you know, they won't be— you know, the Chiefs will be better and the Chargers will be better. That's a really good defense. And Sean Payton's a hell of a coach. And you add Jaylen Waddle, like, I I, I think that's going to be a really good team again.

You know what, people are a little skeptical because they won a lot of close games last year.

Yep.

When teams win a lot of close games, that, that scares you a little bit. But look, they're going to be really good on defense. I think offensively, you know, the interesting thing will be how long does Webb call the plays before Sean starts panicking and taking it back over again, you know. So I'm with you. I, I think they're going to be a good football team. I don't know if they're going to be a great football team, but they're going to be a good one. They're going to be right there in the mix. Chargers, Chiefs, and Broncos in that division are all going to be really good.

Who—

going back to what you said earlier about coaches being pussies, who are your top 5 biggest pussies in the NFL?

Wow. In terms of coaching?

Well, you said it. You said coaches are pussies.

Well, I mean, when they call plays, they are. I think, again, the mentality— don't turn it over. Do you know how many times guys hear that in the quarterback room? And when you talk to quarterbacks about that, oh, well, you know, they preach it all the time. Don't turn it over. Don't turn it over. Don't turn it over. How many times do you think they put Josh Allen's plays up when McDermott was there of him turning it over? Do you want to see that? I want to see him throwing a rifle shot down the field for 50 yards for a touchdown.

Mm-hmm.

So the whole mentality of don't turn it over, don't turn it over, don't turn it over. has kind of bled into the way they call their games. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, listen, you're, you're, you're definitely onto something because I do think that like when you look around the league, the offensive coordinators that are, that are making sure that they're like, hey, we need a certain amount of chunk plays every game. Those are the guys that are successful where it's like, we need to take these shot plays.

We need to take, we need to, we need to get 20, 25-yard plays on the board because you can't rely on dinking and dunking and getting into long situations all Because you're going to get frustrated, you're going to make a mistake, and next thing you know, you drive it, you know, 8 plays and you turn it over anyways, or you end up with a field goal because they're sitting back on 3rd and 8 and you get 6 yards, you kick a field goal. Again, the mentality— and you know what everybody's doing too? They're copying the Rams now. The Rams used a lot of, you know, 13 personnel, 3 tight ends, and they had success with it. So what is everybody going to do this year? They're going to start using that.

Yeah.

And like I told some of those coaches, I said, If I'm a defensive coordinator and you're going to 13, you know what that makes you?

Slower.

That means your fast guys aren't on the field.

Yeah, that's true.

The Rams do have good tight ends though that are all interchangeable.

They all look exactly the same.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Um, all right, so Pete, give us your, uh, conference championship and Super Bowl pick. Have you released it yet? Okay. All right, so yeah, this will be— we won't hold you to this. This actually, you get a free shot here. You get a mulligan because you can basically throw out a couple And we can, we could say, oh, he was pretty right. He was, he was spot on. Okay.

Okay. Okay.

Okay, what about, what about hot seats? Preseason hot seats?

Well, anytime you— and I love the guy— but anytime you fire both your coordinators and have new coordinators in Washington, you— that means that's going to blame somebody else. Well, this time it'll come back to him. So Dan Quinn's on the hot seat. I think.

I agree. He's the, uh, the new defensive coordinator though. I think he might be the next generation of that, the exotic, like, interesting coverages. He's good. Crazy blitzes.

He's good. And they needed to change the way they did things. So I, I'm, I'm okay. But again, if they don't win and you blame, you, you fire 2 coordinators, the, the finger point goes right at you. That's just natural. That's the way it is.

I would agree with that. Yeah.

So Dan Quinn, yeah. Todd Bowles. Okay. Todd Bowles for sure is on They got to, they got to win the division and do something in the playoffs. I don't think there's any doubt about that. Um, trying to think of other guys. Oh, Zach Taylor. We talked about that.

Yeah, they don't—

if they don't get deep into the playoffs or even make the playoffs, then I think he's in trouble.

Yeah. Um, Shane Steichen.

Yes, I think the whole organization. You realize that every team in that division has won it twice since the Colts last won it. Yeah.

And Chris Ballard has had a job for life, right?

I mean, it's time. If they don't make the playoffs, and I think they're going to have— I think it's like, it's actually a pretty good coach, but I think it'll be reflective of him. And I think Chris Ballard knows he's in trouble if he doesn't win.

Yeah. Over-under 2.5 future career starts for JJ McCarthy.

Hmm.

He'll get over that somewhere. He'll get another chance to play somewhere. Yeah, it ain't gonna be in Minnesota, but he'll get a chance somewhere.

Yeah, I, I was, uh, I feel like they're gonna trade him. I mean, it's, it's, it's got to be an awkward situation.

4 quarterbacks, so something's happening. Yeah, all these teams that kept 4 quarterbacks, something's happening with them. So look, I didn't— I wasn't a big JJ McCarthy guy when he came out. I just wasn't. Uh, I didn't think he was good enough. And here's the other part of the equation. Everybody says Kevin O'Connell fixes everybody.

I know.

Well, how bad is JJ McCarthy? Because he hadn't fixed him.

I know, I know. It's good. Yeah, it's a fair point.

I feel he like needs damaged goods. He needs somebody that comes into the league that someone else, or somebody that comes to the Vikings that someone else has screwed up and then he can fix that. I don't think they can take—

So drafting a guy, drafting a guy that comes out with in the first round, he can't do anything with him. He needs somebody. So in other words, you think Kyler Murray is going to have a good year?

I think he might. Yeah, I do. I do think they might. I think that KOC can do that type of stuff with— like, he's a creative guy. He'll figure out— Kyler does have some very unique physical gifts and skills that are still there. It's about kind of like getting him to play free and getting him to, I guess for lack of a better term, just like look like he's having fun again playing football. And then I think—

Can't be worse than what they had at quarterback last year, that's for sure. No.

Yeah.

So I think, I don't know, he might, he might just need to have a quarterback that's, uh, you know, like a, like a foster dog. You're a really good foster dog family. You'll pick them up, nurse them back to health, get them ready to go, and then, you know, they, they leave and then they go win the Super Bowl somewhere else.

That might be what he is.

Like a pure, a pure breed, he can't do anything with it.

He just needs a mutt.

He needs mutts.

Yeah.

So Kyler Murray's a mutt.

I did say the quarterback mutt. Yeah, he is. Okay. Last question. Roback question. RHOback.com. Promo code TAKE. 20% off your first purchase. Q-zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts. Promo code TAKE. Roback.com. Everyone go read Pete's article. When is it coming out about the pass?

I think it's this— I got to do a bunch of videos for it too. So probably this week or next week.

Okay. So do, do read it on CBSsports.com. Pete watches the tape. We know that for a fact. Zach, you got a question for Pete?

How are we doing today, Pete? I did have a quick question. If possible, could you give us your top 3 teams you think are gonna just score all the points this season? All of the points, leave none of them out there.

Whatever that means. What do you mean?

No, all the points.

Just like, like, uh, over teams, like teams that are just gonna ball in end zone rapidly, efficiently, and often.

This is Florida guy to Florida guy. Florida— you've never met Zach. Zach's a Florida guy.

Well, I haven't met Zach. Your last producer used to— I used to know him way back in the day, the Simon kid. Um, Um, let's see. Dallas is going to score a ton of points. Wait, wait, what?

I'm trying to think who Simon is.

Jake. Jake.

Oh, Jake Marsh.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He's the Simon. I knew the family.

I have a perfect name for Jake.

I knew the family has Simons. He's in the Simon family.

Okay.

All right. There we go.

But yeah, yeah. Zach's from, from, from Florida.

Lakeland County.

Where in Florida is he from? From Polk County, Lakeland, Florida, Central Florida, 863.

Yes, sir.

Okay. All right. So who's gonna score a lot of points? Cowboys are gonna score a ton of points. I think the Bills are gonna score a ton of points. And I think the Bengals are gonna score a ton of points.

Where would the Bears be on that list? 5, 6?

Well, how bad is their defense? Because if the defense is that bad, they're gonna have to score a ton of points.

I think it's gonna— I'm not excited about this defense.

No. And by the way, the Packers are gonna score a lot of points too. They're gonna have to.

You love the Packers. You fucking love the I fucking Packers. love the Packers, man.

Would you take Jordan Love over Caleb Williams?

No.

Hell no.

Oh, I would.

Jordan Love's 38 years old, dude.

No, he's not.

Yeah, he is.

No, he's not.

Pete, I know that you also like to take a peek at the, uh, the season win total over-unders. Is there anything that you've zeroed in on? What's your favorite one?

If I had to— I— who's the Texans? What's their number?

Let's see.

I, I, I, uh, gave out on, uh, was it Wednesday's show? Maybe Monday's show. Falcons under 7.5. And I like Stefanski a lot. He's a friend of ours. I think he's a very good coach.

I like Kevin a lot.

I just think he's got—

he's—

this is a year where, like, what, what's he supposed to do with these quarterbacks?

9.5. And you—

what's Texans?

9.5? 9.5.

Yep. Their schedule's brutal too. I'll take that under.

Okay. Wow, you've talked me off the Texans.

Cowboys over. Cowboys over.

Cowboys over.

What about, um, Dolphins under 3.5 wins, 3.5 wins. That seems very low.

That's not a good football team though. No, I'm telling you. And, and by the way, I like where they're heading. I thought they had a good draft. I think they have a good, a lot of good young players. They need to get a quarterback for the long term, but they're not a good team right now. And, and so I, that's, but 3.5, 3.5, you can almost, you can almost, don't they play the Raiders opening week? I mean, you can almost fall into one there.

Yeah. I mean, that's what we were looking at the Cardinals too for the same reason. Just like that. Just, just take 3.5, hold your nose and then hold on for dear life. Yeah.

Maybe get a lucky one in week 18 when, when like, you know, someone's sitting everyone.

I mean, it's hard not to win 4 games. You got to be really bad. You got to be really, really bad.

The Dolphins schedule is not easy though. They have the Raiders week 1, but then they go 49ers, Chiefs, Patriots, Vikings, Bengals.

Okay, keep going. You're gonna get one more.

Okay, Jets, the Jets, Jets, Patriots, Lions, Colts, Bills, Jets, Broncos, Bears, uh, Packers, Rams, Bills. That's the problem is Patriots. So if you don't get the, the last—

you don't get the Jets twice, you're not—

yeah, they end their last 6 games are the Broncos, the Bears, the Packers, the, the Chargers, The Bills and the Patriots.

Yeah, they're not getting to 3.5. They're not getting over that 3.5.

Okay.

They'll be tanking by the end anyways, trying to get the better quarterback.

Yeah.

Yeah. All right, Pete, you're the best. We love having you on. Can't believe football's back. We love it.

Quit eating meat. Your stomach's going to rot away.

Pete Prisco is brought to you by our great friends over at Netflix. Netflix expanding its NFL coverage in 2026. From Week 1 to the first-ever Thanksgiving Eve matchup and 2 Christmas Day games and a playoff game in January. Week 1 of the upcoming season will feature the league's first-ever regular season game in Australia on September 10th between divisional rivals the Los Angeles Rams and the San Francisco 49ers. That will air on Netflix live from the Melbourne Cricket Ground. Heading into the holiday season, Netflix is going to add the NFL's first-ever Thanksgiving Eve game, November 25th, to its Featuring the Green Bay Packers visiting the Los Angeles Rams at SoFi Stadium. Continuing the Christmas Day tradition, Netflix will again air 2 games on December 25th at 1 PM Eastern. The Green Bay Packers visit the Bears at Soldier Field. Then you got the Bills against the Broncos from Empower Field at Mile High at 4:30. Week 18 with playoff stakes on the line. Catch the final game of the regular season live on Netflix. How about that? First and last. Watch Week 1 of the NFL on Netflix. The Rams versus the Niners, only on Netflix Thursday, September 10th, 8:35 PM.

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OK, Mount Rushmore time. Here's what we've got. PFT, congratulations.

Congrats, PFT.

Thank you.

Appreciate it.

He is safe. It is now down to 2.

Dominant. I don't want to toot my own horn, but I mean, just dominant performance in the final 3.

Dominant, right?

Just crushed you guys.

It was a good performance.

It was good.

He done good, kid.

In the land of the blind, the man with one eye is king.

Dominant.

That's what they say. That's correct. That doesn't— I'm calling you blind. Good luck, though.

Thanks.

Root for you, Hank.

So here's what we have. We have Hank versus Zach. Zach is 2 points behind right now. If Zach doesn't win both today's Mount Rushmore and Wednesday's Mount Rushmore, Mount Rushmore season will be over. If Zach wins both, we will have a duel on Friday, which will be, as is tradition, spur-of-the-moment topics that we'll have, we'll spring on them. Now, I'm rooting for a duel, but of course, remember last year we got into problems for saying that. So I don't know. I let it fall however it falls.

I'm only thinking of the show.

Yeah.

And of the listeners. And I think the listeners—

which you always do—

the listeners love duels. And I think that they would love to see a duel.

That's pretty much all I ever think about.

Think about that.

Exactly. That's what I'm saying.

Oh, I'm— look, listen, I'm not— I'm—

I'm—

I do— would be good for the show, but I'm— I'm— I'm a competitor. I'm going to try and win.

You're going to try to win.

All right.

Heavy things. Who is up first?

I think Zach is.

Is Zach up first? I have no idea who went first.

I believe I took 3rd in states. So.

Okay. So then you would be first.

Yeah.

So you'll go first today and then Hank will go first on Wednesday.

Is it Snake?

Yeah.

Right. Yeah, of course.

1, 2, 2, 2, 1, 1.

All right, Zach, your first thing, Mount Rushmore of heavy things, very open-ended heavy things.

1, 1. This was deciding between a few things, but I'm just gonna— I'm gonna make my first pick here and I'm gonna go with Max.

It's a good thing.

It's really good. What do you think, Hank?

I didn't have it on my board.

So he could have, he could have gotten it in the 4th round. Uh, he could have gotten in the 4th round.

Yeah, you could have got that any round. I'm gonna go, uh—

Are you saying that's a good friend move? You're saying Max isn't heavy?

No, he's, he's on the, he's on the I honestly forget, like, who is Max?

Max?

Who?

I'm going to say that's Homer.

He's not fat.

He's lean as could be. I'm happy that Max is enjoying his sex vacation. 2 weeks is crazy. I came back today in the office. I was like expecting to see him. I was like, oh yeah, 2 weeks. He's probably like, this is— I'm gone for too long. He's going to come.

I hope he comes back with an Italian accent.

He probably will. His gifts better be awesome.

Yeah.

Awesome. Yeah, we miss him. Also heavy.

I'm going to go with titties.

Oh, okay.

Good one.

This is a— we're 2 picks in. We're hot now. Heavy titties could—

I don't— I don't think they're that heavy, Hank.

Big heavies.

Yeah.

Who doesn't like big heavies?

You get all tits ever.

I like heavies. Well, no, not the small ones. He gets the big ones.

Okay.

Which—

those are the—

those are the good ones.

Kind of cornered the best ones. Like, he went into— he just went into the trail mix of titties and took out all the M&M's.

The ones that could crush an empty can.

Correct.

Yeah.

Watermelon.

Yeah.

Yeah. Bury your face. You could suffocate. You could drown in them.

Yeah. I'll go gold.

Oh.

Oh, OK. Not even close to the heaviest. thing. But like, in terms of the— what's the—

No, it's up there.

The mineral chart.

No, periodic table.

It's up there.

Did you mean to pick tungsten?

Yeah, I think you meant to pick tungsten.

Tungsten and gold are similar.

Tungsten is way heavier.

Look it up.

How are they similar?

Similar densities.

Oh, I don't think so.

It is.

I get— I've never seen like a big-ass thick cube of gold before, so I wouldn't know how much it weighs.

Yeah, because you're broke.

What does that mean, Hank? You're just lashing out.

You don't got gold like that.

Well, I'll be damned. They have almost identical densities. Wow.

Suck it. Gold's a little more valuable, too. So you can have your little cube of tungsten. I'll take a cube of gold. What do you mean you've never seen a bar of gold? Is like the—

I've never held it.

Yeah, I've held— I've held—

yeah. Again, like, get your money.

You've held a bar of gold?

Yeah, several.

When?

I'm not going to. I'm not going to. I'm not going to.

You've never— you've never held a bar of gold.

Dox myself.

You're definitely— you're, you're, you're, you're no different than this guy on the 49ers.

And we're not talking about Spider's Pokémon collection.

No, no, not, not the Hershey bars.

Okay. Gold. Did you know this about Spider?

I know that he's got—

he's collecting gold, but it's all— it's not like—

Literally like the— the—

yeah, it's not—

it's not gold.

Rectangular Hershey bar size. It's branded gold.

What I'm saying is that the future, like, what if, what if you could buy gold, but also it was collectible? Like, what if, what if they took gold and turned it into—

How do we make this gold valuable?

Yeah. How do we turn it into a trading card?

I wouldn't doubt Spider in this one.

I got a rookie Pikachu gold bar.

Spider's one of those guys. It's like he's on the edge of it. He's always on the edge.

Maybe a little too far on the edge sometimes. No, no, no. I said sometimes. I said sometimes. And you need guys that'll go a little bit too far sometimes.

BFT.

What does that mean?

Broke.

Oh, this is, this is a wild line of accusation here.

Damn.

Okay.

I would like to take Sydney Sweeney's rack.

Oh, okay.

Specific.

That's very specific, but very heavy.

Okay.

Zach's scared. That's— I'm not even— so that's fine.

So Hank took all boobs and you took some boobs.

You took 2. I have hundreds of thousands.

Do you have Sydney Sweeney's rack?

I have titties. Does she have titties?

Yeah.

Okay.

You know, titties is slang. Could be a couple of different things.

But what else?

Yeah, exactly.

You take Max's titties next.

Next pick, I would like to take death.

That's a good one. I had it on my— I did a list and that was That's—

you like that?

No, it's as heavy as you can get.

Heavy as heavy can get.

It's a good pick.

Thinking about death, talking about death.

That's—

yeah, it's a heavy thing.

But Mount Rushmore, like the best. Yeah, I guess I see it.

Yeah, I actually— I have a list of 2 things. One of them was death because that was the other one. The Phish song Heavy Things.

OK.

Not— I'm not— I don't really like that song, but it is the name of the song.

All right. I got 2. I'm gonna go with Elephants.

Yep. Good one. Elephants is a good pick.

I was gonna say something there, but I'm not. Say Zach already took Max.

That's good. And then I'll go with The Head That Wears the Crown.

Yeah.

Oh, good one.

That means you're a king.

Good one.

Hey.

It's a good pick, Hank.

How would you know, Hank?

What do you mean?

Have you ever worn a crown?

No, but that's what the expression is.

Well, we do every day when we go on the DraftKings app.

Yeah.

Crown is yours.

True.

What's mine?

Yeah.

But when I go, it tells you that too.

Yeah, it's fucked up. All right, Zach, you got to get this one.

With 4, I'm going to take the Empire State Building.

Okay.

Okay.

Good pick.

Good pick, Matt.

I mean, Zach, the Empire State Building. Okay.

Okay.

Why did you decide on that building as opposed to other larger?

Have you been to the Empire State Building?

It just looks heavy.

Have you been there?

A lot of these big buildings, you know, they got slim waist, tall up top. The Empire State Building feels thick all the way through.

Okay. I might want to look that up and just see if it is heavier than others.

You know what they say, weight's up to interpretation. They do say that the heaviest of the eyes ganders on all buildings. Mm-hmm.

All right. What do we have left off? I'll just rattle off some things.

I only— the only one I had left was anvil.

Anvil was a good pick.

Aircraft carrier. That's got to be so fucking heavy. Yokozuma.

Hangar aircraft carriers. Are they heavy?

No, they float, so they can't be that heavy.

Yeah.

You don't know shit about water displacement, dude.

You're a moron.

They're very heavy.

Why don't they sink?

Because of water displacement.

Anvil sinks, but the stuff on my list sinks. So that means it's better than your little aircraft carrier.

I didn't take aircraft carrier.

Yeah.

Puna Ford.

Yeah.

Heavy.

Very heavy.

Heavy as fuck.

Sandman. Yep.

That's good. Prince Fielder.

Yeah.

Go ahead.

Anything that you have to carry upstairs.

Couch.

Yeah.

When moving.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Or a dresser. Oh, dressers, actually.

Yeah.

Sneaky worse because then the things are moving out and everything.

Thor's hammer.

Thor's hammer.

Yeah. What would Max do? Do a Max impression. What would Max say? Meatballs.

That's good.

You probably would say meatballs.

Yeah.

What about—

what about a black hole? Feel like that's heavy as heavy could get, right?

It's got everything.

There's no weight in space.

No, it's got everything in a black hole.

Zero-G though, right?

No, I think a black hole is all the G.

Yeah, it's everything.

Oh, black hole just sucks everything.

Sucks everything in.

It's like Nancy Reagan.

Yeah.

Nancy Pelosi.

I got it.

You got it. Good pick.

Good pick.

Nice pick.

Yeah.

The sun.

Wet snow.

Yeah.

Wet snow when you're shoveling it.

Oh, that's a good one.

Very, very heavy.

That's a really good one.

I think it's over.

Thanksgiving dinner.

18-wheeler.

18-wheeler's heavy.

Burgers.

Sure.

Burgers aren't that heavy.

Meatloaf.

Meatloaf is heavy.

Meatloaf is heavy.

A tank.

Tanks, very heavy.

Tanks are super heavy.

Tank, very, very heavy. Yeah, that is.

The ocean.

I would say yeah.

Probably. Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. The ocean's definitely heavy, right?

No, it floats, so it can't be heavy.

I could cup the ocean and hold it in my hand.

Me, when I'm walking around my house late at night, I get accused of that a lot.

Yeah.

Heavy footsteps wake up the whole house. Just walking.

Gravy. Biscuits and gravy.

Biscuits and gravy.

That's a super heavy— that's very heavy. But it's so good.

Yeah.

What else? Anything else? I had a short list. Zach, you have anything else?

Concrete's pretty heavy.

Yeah.

Bowling ball's pretty heavy.

Oh, bowling ball's a good one.

Yeah.

A lot of heavy stuff out there.

Bench press for some can be heavy.

Definitely the amount of weight that we're going to be bench pressing in a month during football season.

We're very shaky. Very, very heavy.

Yeah.

Super. The Empire State Building weighs approximately 730 million pounds.

Max might help him.

I think Titty's got him rattled.

Sydney Sweeney.

Sydney Sweeney. That had to have been a panic pick.

Was that a panic pick?

Oh, I just think it's— I think it's a heavy rack.

Death was a good pick. That is a very heavy thing.

Yeah. Took me a second to think about it, though.

Yeah, that's good for you.

Like most, most people, I think, got that pretty quick. Instantly.

Yeah. Talk about death is heavy. Yeah, true. Yeah. OK, well, we'll see. Hopefully you guys will be going head to head on Wednesday. If not, we'll do— we'll finish out Mount Rushmore season. We'll think of something fun. We'll do a Mount Rushmore either way. Maybe like a postseason Mount Rushmore. I'm hoping water's heavy.

No, I'm saying we should do Mount Rushmore water.

But water is heavy.

We've already done that.

Yeah, we did do that.

It got contentious. Yes.

I think next year, Mount Rushmore season, we should just be like, you know what, repeats, whatever. Because it actually would be interesting if we, if we did no Google and repeats, see if any of our picks change.

And no notes app.

Yeah.

Oh, I would just remember it.

Well, like, I could just go in my Notes app and find—

Yeah, you have all your— I don't.

I definitely— yeah, I don't either.

I definitely don't.

Where do you put your Mount Rushmore?

I delete them.

Yeah, delete things from your Notes app?

I don't know.

After I write them down, I delete them.

All right, no notes.

What, what kind of storage you working with?

That's crazy. That's impressive. 10 years of Mount Rushmore?

Not 10, but a good amount.

You should write a book.

Do you have pizza in there?

Probably.

Oh no, you had Liam do that one, but he sent it to you.

I have it.

Give it to us.

Pepperoni, sausage, barbecue chicken, bacon, buff chick.

You got them all.

Prosciutto, mutts, peppers, ricotta, sun-dried tomatoes, hamburger, meatball.

Wow.

You got your top 4 in that draft. Damn. Blue things. Look up your Mount Rushmore water.

Blue things.

He's our Mount Rushmore historian.

I think that one I did. I was joking. We did that. Like, we've done that 3 times.

Yeah. Yeah. Blue things.

Blue things.

No, you don't have it.

Royal blue.

No.

Okay.

Yeah, that's not much more colors.

All right.

Good show, boys. College football mega preview coming Wednesday. Football's back. Numbers. 5, 3, 8, 55, 80, 86. Memes. I saw a guy at Saratoga who pulled out his phone and was like, hey, can you— I'm FaceTiming my buddy who's never gotten the lottery ball. Can you tell him he's an idiot? And I was just like, don't feel so bad, dude. You're just basically memes.

I have gotten it though.

Not on this machine.

Well, I have.

No, you haven't.

I have.

No, you haven't. It was number 10. It was number 10. 28, 69.

69.

69 for Colton, 28 for Jacob.

Oh, 24. 24.

Anyone?

Kobe.

Anybody?

Wanna do one more?

One more. Oh, oh, is that it? Oh, zero.

Happy birthday to, uh, Ted Williams, Splendid Splinter. Happy birthday to Sauce Gardner. Happy birthday to Drake May. Happy birthday to Frank Robinson. Happy birthday to Jalen Brunson. Happy birthday to Larry Fitzgerald. Saw him, saw him over the weekend on Pebble Beach. Looking good.

Hell yeah. Big bet coming on Sunday.

Oh, I thought you said the big butt. Yeah, that was there too. Uh, Calais Campbell, happy birthday. Clinton Portis, happy birthday. This is kind of crazy. Zach Thomas and Jason Taylor. Both had the same birthday. That's wild. Happy birthday to Zendaya, Dr. Phil, and Miles Plumlee.

Love you guys.