Transcript of Jerry O’Connell’s 2026 Fantasy Preview, The Death Of The Pro Bowl And ESPN Bottom Line Plus Fyre Fest Of The Week

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So you see, so—

oh, oh, hey, that, that shook, that shook my chair. Hey, the vibrations came through the wood in my chair. Cold open. Hey, come on, man, please no.

Let us get into the podcast. On today's Part of My Take presented by DraftKings, it's here, it's time. Jerry O'Connell's fantasy football preview for the 2026 NFL season. It was long. It was fun. We took a lot of roads. We took— we got off the road a couple of times. We had some great Hank versus Jerry moments. But it is finally here. We're at Camp Barstool. Jerry O'Connell gave us all of the tips and things he's expecting to do with our fantasy team this year.

I think it's a fantasy preview, part 1.

Part 1.

Something tells me he might be back.

I was actually thinking about that next year. Maybe we just do part 1 and part 2 and we just do AFC, NFC. Yeah, it'd probably be better that way. But, uh, he's the best. And then we are going to talk about the death of the Pro Bowl, the death of the bottom line. We have some other national sports podcast topics, Firefest of the Week, and the Mount Rushmore of worst states. Worst states. PFT is close to clinching. I'll just say right now, I don't condone the worst states.

I wish Hank would start clinching. Yeah.

Hank, are you farting again?

Yeah, yeah, he— no, he just—

He's gonna wait for the podcast to start.

He just ripped one. The problem, if you're at home, Hank and I are sitting in 2 different chairs, but the chairs are connected by a beam underneath.

Yeah.

And every time he farts into his chair, my chair, the wood vibrates into my own butt. So I'm— Hank is sending me vibes into my butt every time he farts.

Come on, Hank.

It's disgusting.

Come on.

And the yawns have started too.

The yawns have started too.

That's his throat farts.

Yeah, throat farts. All right, Hank, we need you to clean it up. But let's get to the show. It's brought to you by our friends at DraftKings. Something big is coming on September 2nd, DraftKings Game Day arrives with massive deals, exclusive deals, and an all-day celebration built for sports fans. The countdown has begun. All roads lead to Game Day. The DraftKings Sports app is now live in all 50 states. That means from Texas to California to Florida, every fan is in on the excitement. One app, every sport, all 50 states. DraftKings Game Day is yours. Remember the date, September 2nd. DraftKings Game Day is the kickoff, uh, of a new season, a new era, and the biggest day in sports history. Get pumped, get ready to celebrate. New DraftKings customers, sign up with code TAKE, spend $5 to get $200 in rewards within 21 days. Includes all markets. That's code TAKE in partnership with DraftKings. The crown is yours. Okay, let's bet with DK Sportsbook. Gambling problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER, 1-800-MY-RESET. Connecticut, call 888-789-7777 or visit On behalf of Boot Hill Casino in Kansas. Bet tax pass-through may apply in Illinois.

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Go!

Hey, football guy, but you know, AWM. Welcome to Pardon My Take presented by DraftKings. Uh, today is Friday, August 28th, and boys, it's Camp Barstool finale. How are we feeling?

I'm feeling really good, Big Cat. Yeah, really good. Uh, it's been a fun week here. Been drinking a lot of Mountain Dew. Uh, some late nights hanging with the fellas.

Yeah, playing euchre, playing chess.

Yeah, it's been, it's been a, it's been an absolute blast. Um, yesterday was actually a very cool day. It was an awesome day, and I think maybe if you're listening to the show, you already know. Um, but, you know, not to get off by it by smelling our own farts, but well, I did come in, uh, clinched third to last in Mount Rushmore.

Not clinched.

So it was pretty impress— pretty great day for me.

What, Zach?

Technically not clinched as of yet.

Yeah, basically clinched. I'm willing—

You're not clinched though.

I'm willing to just claim the clinch at this point.

So if everyone—

I would understand a soft clinch, but legitimate clinch?

Yeah.

Not quite there.

Okay, I might have had some fuzzy math, but by the time I had celebrated, uh, you know, the celebration already happened. So I'm gonna get— I'm just gonna, uh, continue that celebration. I think I'd have to finish last place in every Mount Rushmore, and whoever's in—

That'd be a shame.

Now, such a shame.

That would be a shame.

Would have to finish in first place.

That'd be a shame.

Wow.

That'd be a shame.

Uh, but I've been thinking about it all week, so I mean, yeah, I'm sorry, it was at the top of my head.

What do we want to— what do we want to start with here? We, uh, we have Jerry O'Connell coming up for our fantasy preview.

Uh, the other big news, the Pro Bowl. The other celebration, celebratory news.

RIP Pro Bowl. Celebration of LIV for the Pro Bowl.

Oh, LIV being dead?

No, but it is.

This Saudi guy was like, no more checks for anyone, no more dollars. Yeah, you CEOs, fuck you, no more dollars, buddy.

They might have cut like 95% of their staff. Yeah.

Oh, that just means they're running lean operations.

Yep.

Yeah, I was talking about—

oh, you're talking about New York Times bestseller? Yes, the nerd list. We're number one nerds for a week.

Mm-hmm.

Yes, thank you everyone for buying the book. It's pretty cool to see that we're number one New York Times bestseller. And also especially a thank you to everyone behind the scenes. You know, Matthew, our ghostwriter, helped with a lot of the interviews. Jacob, Dom, a bunch of people grinding behind the scenes. But yeah, it was cool. It was cool. New York Times bestseller. We've completely devalued that award.

It is, it is pretty cool. We got put on the, uh, self-help list, which was interesting.

Yeah, that's, yeah, that's pretty cool.

So I guess that means that we can stay there because those books, if you look at them, we might be on the New York Times bestseller list for, for like years.

Yeah, we got, we, we got ahead of a book that had been on there for like 400 weeks.

Yeah.

So I don't even understand how that happens.

Who did we beat? I'm sorry. Uh, that guy's got to be like, what the fuck is part of my That's not a self-help book.

Yeah, it is kind of crazy. Uh, The Let Them Theory, advice, how-to, and miscellaneous. I feel like that was more of a how-to start a podcast. Yeah, it was, it was a DIY.

That's true.

So yeah, the podcast— the weird thing about that list, you, you do see books that might be there for like 2, 3 years at a time.

So no, no, I'm not joking. The, the, the Let Them Theory was 87 weeks on the list. That's a year and a half.

Yeah, so we'll probably be on that list.

382.

We'll probably— huh?

Atomic Habits.

Yeah, we'll probably be on that list for another 3 years until Bussin takes us off.

What's going on? What's going on with From Italy with Amore? What is that book about? Can you give us a little something?

That's Max's book.

Yeah.

All right.

From Italy with Amore. This is what the only thing— so yesterday was, it was funny because it was like, it was very cool.

How do I identify what a real Italian meal looks like? But would it pass Alesso's approval?

No.

How to identify the most authentic Italian ingredients, sauces, products, and more in American grocery stores. See, this is how we beat them out because we had Florio and Max do in our book the Mount Rushmore of Italian-American sports figures.

You know what? I'd like to endorse From Italy with Amore. That looks like a good book.

Yeah, it does.

How to identify authentic Italian food. I will. I will cosign on that one.

Yeah.

And then good for us, the Tennis Podcast didn't put out a book the same week. That would have been tough.

That would have been very, very tough. Okay, so Yes. Thank you everyone for purchasing. Pretty, pretty damn cool. Again, I'm sorry for anyone who wins the award afterwards. Like, uh, I feel like it's been completely devalued. But I mean, between us and Dave.

Yeah.

Like, is Barstool the biggest publishing company now?

Like, is reading back?

Yeah.

Reading is back.

Bring literacy back.

We did it.

Uh, yeah. So Memes tweeted this out the other day that like pretty much a fuck you to his high school English teacher. Uh, I did. I also got a D- in my college English composition class. Um, and, and we're saying that, I don't think to be like, fuck, you were actually really good at writing. I'm saying it more in the lines of like, you don't have to be a good writer anymore to get a New York Times bestseller. I think that's, that's pretty much, uh, the message that's been delivered.

And didn't close the parentheses.

Yeah.

So yeah, I, I, uh, I didn't take— I don't think I took a English college class.

I didn't take college.

That's not true, Hank. That's not true.

Neither did Zach.

You went to film school, Hank.

I did a film certificate program.

Yeah.

And next thing you know, read the resume. USC.

That was, that was actually a tough— do you remember on the way to the airport on Monday when Jerry O'Connell was just like, Zach, like, no one cares, like, on your resume where you went to college. Like, do people, do people at Barstool, they ever ask, like, where'd you went to college? Because Zach didn't. He did a little community college, a little stint. Uh, and Zach's like, yeah, no, everyone when I got to Barstool asked where I went to college and I said nowhere.

It was like the first question. Great to meet you. So where'd you go to school?

Yeah, shit.

Tough.

Uh, but yeah, it was pretty cool. Uh, all right, what else we want to—

where do we want to go first? I've had a lot of fun bunking with you guys. Yeah, bunk has been pretty incredible. Um, there were some, you know, some people that were screaming in the first couple nights, but last night that all changed. and the vibe was totally different. And instead of screaming, somebody was moaning in the middle of the night, almost in— almost in a romantic way.

Was it Hank?

I don't know. I can't be sure who it could have been, but somebody— it sounded like they were having a very good dream last night for most of the night. It was— it was honestly hard to sleep.

Are you sure? Because you have your headphones on your eye mask. You sure you weren't watching something before you went to sleep?

I promise you I was not watching pornography.

Okay.

I'm pretty sure—

Was it me?

No, I'll say this. We sleep next to each other. It was not Hank. It was not Hank. It was not Zach.

Oh, okay.

Yeah.

Was it Rico?

I don't— who's to say who it could have been?

So it was Rico. Okay.

I don't know.

I can't, I can't honestly say.

But what direction was it coming from?

Um, across the room from your speaker. I'm pretty sure somebody was having a very long wet dream, and it was—

Oh, so they lasted long.

Yeah.

I mean, credit to them. Good, good for them, I guess. They had a pleasant dream.

They're wet dreaming like a stallion. Yeah, good job.

I don't know, but, um, yeah, overall it's been fun. Jerry's been a great bunkmate. Um, the other night I was walking home with him after staying up, uh, in the cafeteria for a while, was smoking a cigarette outside. Jerry just likes the smell of cigarettes, so he's staying next to me. And he's such a talker that he, uh, he— we came inside the bunk and I went to my bed to go to sleep, and Jerry just continued the conversation, came over, sat down on my bed with me. Oh yeah, as I'm getting under the covers, and he's just talking about these stories that he was telling me from from his experience as an actor. And at some point I was like, all right, Jerry, I'm gonna go to— gonna go to sleep now. I'll see you tomorrow. He—

on, um, uh, Tuesday night we taught him how to play euchre, and he was— and then I told him, I was like, if you want to get better, here, download this and just play on your own and you'll learn the game faster. And, uh, at like midnight I was— yeah, I was basically half asleep, and he came and he got— he laid in my bed. I was basically big spooning him. He's like, here, play a couple hands with me. And just that, that was it. We were just playing a couple of hands while we were spooning.

And so his new thing that he keeps saying is like, I download the euchre app.

Yes.

He's told me that probably 30 times. He's committed to learning euchre. He's getting better. It's just been— it's been a good hang this week. Had a lot of fun.

Yeah, had a lot of fun. We got to see a concert last night. Hank, what'd you think about the concert?

Didn't catch the concert.

Oh, you don't really like bluegrass music that much, though.

Yeah, I was disappointed I wasn't there.

It was exactly them Cooley brothers. It was, it was exactly what you would have liked.

The banjo. The Cooley Boys.

Philly boys.

I know, exactly what you want. Okay, uh, you know what, let's do, let's do the, the, the future thing right now. We're gonna start rolling out, uh, some futures for the NFL season, then we'll talk about Pro Bowl and some other things going on. But we're gonna start rolling out some futures for the NFL season. Today's the first one, so everyone's come armed with one.

Let's go around the league.

Around the league. Uh, maybe someone, Shane, you can, you can track these, uh, to see, but We are going to all pick one future today. NFL could be anything. And we'll do this a couple of times before the season starts because we're getting closer and closer. Hank, why don't you start?

I'm going to go with the next player to record 400+ pass yards in a game. I'm taking Jared Goff.

Oh, okay.

What's the start of their schedule?

They're +1,100. I don't think it matters what their schedule is.

I think that definitely matters.

No, not, not for a guy like Jared Goff.

Did you look it up? But I mean, if someone else is playing like someone really easy, but we don't know who's easy and who's not.

It's the beginning of the year.

That's true, good point.

All right, they're playing the Saints.

Saints, Bills, Jets. I mean, that's too, too, too bad.

Cardinals.

Oh, I don't—

Panthers, Cardinals. Okay, so you could do against Saints or the Jets or the Panthers or the Cardinals or the Bills.

Okay, the Jets defense is pretty good. Yeah, I think they'll be good.

They got an interception. Yeah, we're back big time.

Back. They got an— oh yeah, they got an interception.

They got an interception. They have 2 in a row.

2 in a row.

2 consecutive intercepts, like on consecutive drives. Yeah, consecutive drives.

Holy shit.

So back. Holy shit. Uh, all right, PFT, what do you got?

Um, I'm gonna take JSN.

You love this bet, correct?

That's why I'm giving it.

I love it too.

Yeah.

You don't love your bet?

I do love this. No, I'm saying like—

You said I love this bet like it was a bad thing.

I didn't say like it was a bad thing. I just was emphasizing how much you love this bet.

Thanks for—

You love this.

Yeah, good emphasis. Jason, to lead the league in receiving yards after 3 games. I think game 1 against the Patriots at home, national audience, big stage.

Yep.

He's got a chip on his shoulder from being named Defensive Player of the Year. as his trophy red.

Yep.

Uh, I think he's gonna have a big game there. And then I believe he plays against the— don't know who he plays.

You should know this.

I did look it up a long time ago. I have it right here. I have it right here. Um, I know that week 3 he's actually playing against the Commanders. So like, I'm willing to admit that our defense, if it's Cardinals— yeah, Cardinals week 2, and then week 3 against the Commanders if their defense is is half as bad as it was, uh, when they played last year, then he'll probably have a pretty decent game. And I think he's +750.

Okay, Zach?

Uh, I would like to go with, uh, Matthew Stafford for MVP.

Matthew Stafford, back-to-back MVPs?

Yeah.

Whoa. Is there any Stafford fatigue?

Wow.

Okay.

Personally, I have a little Stafford fatigue, but maybe not for the league. So I'm just going Stafford.

You love that bet.

I have a question.

Yes.

National Sports Podcast.

Yeah.

I won't say the team name. Okay.

Can we do this after we do the future thing?

Of course.

No, no, let's wait till after we do the future thing.

We'll wait till after we do the future thing.

Yeah.

Well, cheers.

Okay. Uh, I was gonna take, uh, I'm gonna take the Falcons, and I believe in Kevin Stefanski, Tommy Reese, but I don't know if it's gonna be great this year. I'm gonna take the Falcons under 7.5 wins.

I—

the Tua, he's so bad.

You see the news yesterday?

It's on life support.

Uh, Rap Sheet said that Tua's play has made it impossible to name him the starter. That's not a good sign.

No, at all.

No, impossible. It's not good at all. And the Falcons, they have a kind of a like decently tough schedule. Um, they start with the Steelers at the Steelers. Panthers at Green Bay, at New Orleans, Baltimore, Chicago, San Francisco, Tampa, Cincy, Kansas City. That's all before the bye week. Like, those are— it's not like they have the hardest schedule, but those are decent teams. So I'm gonna take under 7.5. Again, long term, I'm in on the Falcons, Stefanski. They just need to get a quarterback.

Yep.

Okay, uh, Hank, what were you gonna say?

Uh, national sports podcast talking about, you know, NFL.

Yeah.

I won't say the team name in this, but how would you feel if you— about a team— if this is the worst I've ever seen the blank offense in years, inoperable offensive line?

That would scare me. Who is that?

Commanders.

Oh, it's the Commanders. Now, Hank was spreading fake news yesterday. Just—

I did not tweet this.

He was—

I did not tweet this.

I know, I know. He was leaving out the context of the offensive line yesterday.

There was no context in the tweet.

There is the—

No, no, tweet end.

The tweet says—

End tweet.

Wait, inoperable offensive line, period. Right, so they do talk about the offensive line in the tweet.

I said that.

Yeah, he said that in that tweet.

I'm saying yesterday he was leaving out that guy.

You were leaving out the offensive line yesterday? Yeah.

Um, so, and then there's important to note because we are, uh, you know, a podcast that prides itself on getting things right That same reporter then kind of went on to explain their report saying, keep in mind about the offense. As mentioned earlier, Cosmi was out. Daniels played with a front 5 that featured Matt Gulbin at center, Julian Good-Jones at center, and mostly Good-Jones and Tanoa Togiayi at right guard. So there were 3 second or third-string offensive linemen playing at the time for this practice. Now that being said, Hank, there is some truth to the report. And it does seem the way that it was covered in D.C., it was a joint practice with the Ravens. It might have been the worst practice in NFL history.

Oof.

The way that it's being talked about.

Oof.

Every reporter is just like you. They're acting like they're war correspondents coming back from a deployment, like they were embedded. They've got a thousand-yard stare. They're like, the shit that we saw yesterday, I'd never wish on another man. It sounds like it was a very, very bad practice. But that's okay. You'd rather have a bad practice than a bad game. Yeah, still some time left to recover.

Get the— get that out of your system, PFT.

At least we're practicing. You know what, we're practicing putting our guys in stressful situations. Rather have it happen now so we know how to deal with it.

Get that out of your system.

But then you get some people like Hank that will just kind of read— take a report a little bit out of context.

That's sad, Hank.

And then bring it up on a national podcast for clicks. You're doing this for clicks, Hank.

Are you doing this for clicks? No, no, no, no, no, no.

Me and PFT talked about this off air for like an hour yesterday.

Zach, my bean clicked.

Yeah, we had a— we had an off-air conversation about this for like an hour yesterday.

About just specifically the offensive line?

Just that tweet. Oh, I just kept asking him, are you worried? Like, worst offensive performance of all time in human history.

Thoughts? It does. It's not just her. It was a lot of people saying that was the worst practice they've ever seen.

Who tweeted that? What a drama queen.

Nikki, Nikki Jabala tweeted. She's usually pretty good about covering Commanders, but then you could tell that like somebody from the team talked to her. I was like, hey, do you want to clarify that tweet? Because it was entirely a backup offensive line that was playing.

Mm-hmm.

So yeah, I mean, bad practice. We had a bad practice. But all that being said, there were some good parts in that practice.

We—

Antonio Williams. There's— I gave you Jakorey Crosby merit last summer. He ended up having a pretty decent season for a late-round pick. Antonio Williams, he's a guy that in camp, he cooked Kyle Hamilton the other day. Uh, he's been playing really, really good at receiver. He's going to challenge Diggs for a lot of that, that second role. He might be operating out of the slot. He's going to be a really good receiver if, uh, if we can protect Jayden. Got it.

Yeah.

Okay. So now, so there's some, there's some good things going on.

Yeah, there's some good things, but yes, it was the worst practice, the worst football practice since Remember the Titans.

Yeah. Um, okay. Uh, Pro Bowl's dead. Do we feel anything? So I saw— so, so yesterday they announced, the NFL announced the Pro Bowl is dead. My initial take was I feel nothing. And I say that not because it's like I don't like that people get, you know, they should reward the guys who are doing the best. And, and the Pro Bowl used to actually be something good, uh, and fun. But for the last 10 years, the Pro Bowl has been in hospice care, uh, eating applesauce, you know, spoon-fed applesauce. It's been dead. We, we just haven't said goodbye. So when it actually happened, I had no tears left to cry.

I would say I'll go one step further and say I was happy.

Yeah.

It's out. It's no longer suffering. It got put out of its misery. It's in a better place right now.

We—

I choose to not remember the Pro Bowl in what we've seen in the last 6 or 7 years. I choose to remember the Pro Bowl with Andy Reid wearing shorts, a Hawaiian shirt, and a lei. I choose to remember the Pro Bowl with Sean Taylor lighting up Brian Moorman. I choose to remember the Pro Bowl when it was Peyton Manning talking about his liquored-up kicker.

Yep.

Mike Vanderjagt.

Yep.

During the game. I choose to remember the Pro Bowl when it was, uh, 22 guys going at each other and they were still very drunk from the night before, slash also from drinks that morning, and they didn't really try that hard, but they also didn't rub our faces in it.

Yes.

That's how I choose to remember the Pro Bowl.

So goodbye, Pro Bowl.

Goodbye, Pro Bowl. You were, uh, You were a game.

You were a game. It has meant absolutely nothing, and, and no fault to any of the players. Football is a sport that after an entire season, you can't ask the players to then go out and play another game. Someone's playing like off the wall or something. It's so fucking loud. What is it? Oh, that's paintball. Oh, that's okay. They can test that out. I thought they were playing like hitting a tennis ball. Um, yeah, it, it, it has meant nothing. It, it, it was hard for it to mean something in the last 10, 15 years. The one thing that I will, I will ask, and it should be interesting. So I assume Pro Bowl, like voting for the Pro Bowl will still happen. Is that not right? Like, will they still give the honors?

Yeah, I assume they will.

Okay.

Because a lot of guys have—

Oh yeah, there it is. 88 players will receive the Pro Bowl honor with— okay, so They need to maybe retroactively go back and clean this up because now we have lost alternates. So alternates made such a mess of the Pro Bowl where we have some guys who can claim Pro Bowl status and it's like, dude, you were the 16th quarterback asked, uh, not to name any names. Yes.

Did Shedeur Sanders kill the Pro Bowl?

He might have.

Now that I'm thinking about it, that was the moment where the NFL was like, we've, we've gone too far.

Yeah.

We have, we have to get rid of the entire game.

Yeah, the, the body blows of, of, of Tyler Huntley and Mitch Trubisky, and then Shedeur came over and just cut its throat.

Uppercut.

Yeah.

Uh, but that, that would be the one thing. Can— are they retroactively gonna go back and clean this up?

I think they will. I think they'll go back and say, uh, they can't take the Pro Bowls away, I don't think, from the alternates that accepted it. Uh, but they'll go back and make sure that everybody gets the, uh, everyone who's voted and turned it down gets it. It'd be funny if people just like out of habit turned down the new Pro Bowl honor.

Yeah.

This year.

I just don't want to participate.

Yeah. Sorry.

Just being given this award.

Yeah.

So yeah, the Pro Bowl's dead. We had a few deaths. So the Pro Bowl died. The ESPN Bottom Line ticker is dead, which that actually kind of bummed me out. Now everyone has their phones nowadays that it doesn't matter as much to see these scores. You're probably checking the scores anyway.

Yeah.

But it bummed me out from a nostalgia standpoint in that there was nothing better than gambling the entire slate on a college football Saturday and seeing a score you needed pop up. Or my absolute favorite, like, if I could close my eyes and be like, what, what was the best feeling to start a Saturday? It was watching a game and having, uh, the Oregon game pop up, 14:53 left in the first quarter, and the— and it flips to 8-nothing because they not only scored but they went for 2. And you have the over and Oregon. again. So that kind of stuff I will miss. Uh, but I— they said they're gonna do updates every quarter and there'll be ways to see it. But overall it's like, all right, I guess we're just changing and they're just gonna make you locked in more on the game and then people are gonna use their phones more.

Yeah, I think, uh, my favorite was when a game would, would turn yellow. Yeah, when one team would finally turn yellow and you could put that in the bank. Uh, I'm okay with it. I think the bottom line is it's definitely it's outlived its usefulness.

Yes, it's— yeah, it does take up technology.

It takes up space on a screen. Um, one thing I think that it is good for, if you're watching all the games and you're sitting down on a long Saturday, uh, it's good to have a constant reminder just beamed into your eyeballs about like what happened in every game. It helps you remember, like remember the, the outcome of every single game because you, you're constantly exposed to it. Now what they're trying to do, I think, is just drive more hits to the app.

So yeah, of course. Yeah, no, that's exactly what they're trying to do. And, and I get it. It's like, yeah, the, the nostalgia I feel for the ESPN Bottom Line— I haven't, I haven't actually been able to participate in the, in like the, the things I'm describing in many years. Like walking, um, you know, before smartphones, like walking in an airport and, and like standing in front of one of the TVs, just be like, let me check this, let me get this score real quick. before I get on my plane. Like, shit like that, that, that's been gone for so long that I can't really— similar to the Pro Bowl, I can't be like, oh well, I'm sad. Uh, but yeah, this is— they're, they're trying to get us to be on the app more. And, uh, yeah, I really will just miss the organ going 8-nothing. And also, like, on a college football Saturday when you have other games going on in different sports, it was nice to be able to see that.

A reminder that the outside world exists.

Yeah, yeah.

Or like when they add something to it that has, uh, nothing to do with sports. It's like, uh, just a heads up, during Sunday Night Baseball, uh, they killed Osama. That was a pretty cool bottom line.

Yep.

That's probably one of its greatest hits, I would say.

Yeah.

Uh, I think it's gonna look good though, objectively. Oh yeah, it's gonna look cleaner on the screen.

It's gonna be—

it's gonna be nice.

Yes, yes. Um, and then Hank, the last death— I mean, it's dead.

No. Okay, come on, let it go.

Come on, Hank.

Hank, it's time to let go.

Hank, there's just— these are reports. People are getting laid off. PFT said that they're, they're more lean operation. They don't have, you know—

LIV is dead.

LIV 1.0 dead.

The, the, the, the head of LIV said no more money, no more cash.

Yeah, they got a new investor that they're excited about, and they said they have a second one coming.

Okay, when are they gonna announce that?

I don't know. Stay tuned.

It's got to be here soon.

We'll talk about it as soon as they do. Okay.

Oh, when, when, when, when they do it, we'll be on it. Yeah, 100%.

You know that.

You know we'll be on that. Okay. Before we do a couple more stories, then we get to our Mount Rushmore. PFT just opened a Mountain Dew. We're at camp. Camp Barstow has been such a fun time. Nothing goes better with hanging out with your friends, kayaking. I canoed with KB yesterday around the lake. We had a couple Mountain Dews with us. Uh, we've been grilling, we've been softball, wiffle ball. Wiffle ball yesterday was electric. Nothing goes better with wiffle ball and your friends than the refreshing citrus kick of Mountain Dew. Mountain Dew was proudly born in the foothills of Tennessee, an American original tasting great since '48. Enjoy the refreshing citrus kick of Mountain Dew, an American original. Grab a Dew tasting great since '48. We just cracked open some Dews. Mm, that's delicious. Thank you to Mountain Dew. Uh, Camp Arsenal is one of our favorite weeks of the year, and Mountain Dew is a big, big part of it. So thank you to Mountain Dew, and go get one today. Summer, we got a couple more weeks left. The sun's gonna be shining. Grab a Mountain Dew, get that refreshing citrus kick. An American original tasting great since '48.

Okay boys, any other stories before we do, uh, our Mount Rushmore, and then we get to Jerry O'Connell, which, uh, he, he got in depth. He got in depth. Anything else?

You could say that.

Yeah. What else we got?

Um, we missed it just by a little bit. We finished recording on, uh, on Tuesday right before the news. RIP Dolly Parton.

Oh, RIP Dolly Parton.

American legend. Uh, one of the most beloved people in the history of the United States, really. If you look at like the favorability rating, everybody loved Dolly. Yes, she was the absolute best. She was—

cannons—

the best type of American. Absolute, absolute bazookas. And she was not ashamed of them.

No, she, she actually— she's like, hey, these bazookas, this is for America.

For America. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mount Rushmore of American cannons.

Yeah, 100%.

And, uh, just a great human being too. Just a fantastic woman. She would give a book every year to every kid in Tennessee. She came from absolutely—

Part of my book.

Uh, maybe that might— you should give a book to every kid in Tennessee in honor of Dolly Parton. Yeah, yeah, that'd be a good thing. We'll just give one to Big T. Yeah, in honor of her. But she was, uh, like, you hear the stories of all the money that she gave behind the scenes. Awesome woman. Um, incredible. I, I think that she actually should be put on money. We should put Dolly Parton on some sort of dollar bill.

I like that.

I, I don't know what denomination. Um, but she is the absolute— she's the best type of person from this country, and we should all be reminded of her on a daily basis because she was the best.

Should be $1,000.

$1,000 bill.

The Dolly bill.

The Dolly bill.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

Any part in my take? That's what we can call our initiative to Tennessee.

Yes.

Any other ones? Jed— Jed—

Jed—

what's his name? York's body cam release. Yankee fan.

Yeah. That was just a big takeaway.

Yeah.

I mean, that's, that's our longstanding that we, you know, you should have to declare what's, what sports allegiance you have when you get arrested. He just did it for you.

Yeah.

Everyone can go after that. Mets fans, Red Sox fans, like, just there you go.

Anytime Yankee fan, anytime somebody gets arrested, like if there's a serial killer, I want the headline to say like Tigers fan arrested with 60 bodies in his basement.

Yeah.

Ohio State Buckeye.

Yeah.

Let the, let, let the college football world tee off on this person.

Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Ole Miss Rebel.

Yeah.

Uh, found in a room with 3 computers running poker simulations and 3 walking boots.

Um, Brooks Koepka's in the TGL. Hank, is the TGL something you watch?

If it's on.

OK. OK.

So that's a yes, then, yeah.

He's on the, uh—

If it's on and I'm watching it. Like, not— I'm not, I'm not, uh, making it like an appointment to watch it.

When is it? Is it in the winter?

It's in the winter, like Tuesdays and Wednesdays.

Okay. What does, uh, the T in TGL stand for?

Tiger?

That's a good question.

Is it— I just assumed it was Tiger.

No, I was thinking it might be the—

Is it not Tigers League?

I think it is, yeah. Is it the—

It is the— what does the T stand for in TGL? Tomorrow's Golf League.

Tomorrow's Golf League.

Okay, Tomorrow's Golf League Today.

That sounds like the end of worlds kind of thing. Tomorrow's Golf League.

Yeah, the future is here.

Yeah, we're going to be playing on bombed atomic bombed out courses. Tomorrow's Golf League. Wait, but is, is it not Tiger's Golf League?

Tiger, Rory, and sports executive Mike McCarthy.

Okay.

Yeah, I, for some reason I just thought it was just—

is there a chance that TGL bought LIV? They're the investor.

Maybe they're the exciting investor. I doubt it.

That'd be cool.

There's been no LIV players on TGL.

That probably doesn't work.

Would that be—

and Rory.

And Rory. You forgot about Rory. He's kind of a bitch about the whole like, oh, we told them, like, the LIV.

We told that there's a, uh, that the investor is exciting.

Yeah.

Okay.

Potential.

Yeah.

They're excited about the new investor and then there's a potential whale coming in soon.

Okay.

Buckle up.

Love that. We got a whale. Sick. We got a whale on the line.

Potential whale.

Let's go.

Potential whale. Uh, any, any stories you had, Zach?

Uh, tons of great stories out there. Uh, tons of great days at camp this week. Uh, yeah, really, I think the biggest story— Dolly Parton, you know, rest in peace.

Dolly Parton, rest in peace. Hank, I have a question for you actually.

Yes, big cat.

Is Good Good gonna survive this?

Yeah, I think they're good. I think, uh, they've come, they've come back around.

How so?

Garrett released a video explaining everything, kind of threw like everyone under the bus. Like he was like, yeah, you know, he said good.

I watched the first 2 minutes. He's like, the Good Good marketing team came to me. He's like, how many people work at Good Good? Like that's— but that's like, I wouldn't say the Barstool. I'd say we came up with the idea.

Like if Barstool marketing came up to us, it would be like if our branding team, like our—

we do commercials all the time where you show up But we have the ability to say, no, this is stupid. Like, if our branded team said, here, push this woman, I'd say no.

But in the video, he showed the video. He was like, it was a spoof of the Obsession movie, which was like the number 1 movie going on. It was bad-executed, and they showed the video. He's like, obviously I never pushed her over when we were shooting it. It was edited that way. And the girl, Lexus, who's in Good Good, She was well aware of what was going on.

Like, she, you know...

Yeah.

I never pushed her. I don't condone it. Like, he did apologize. He also did some funny, like, throwing everyone under the bus, being like, yeah, our marketing team came up with it. I thought it was a terrible idea. I thought it was worse when it came out.

I saw it.

I cringed.

Uh...

I should've said something.

But I think, I mean...

They shouldn't, by the way. They should not be, like...

They had a TV show that was supposed to come out on Tuesday that, that, I guess, Golf Galaxy was the main sponsor of, and at the last minute they were like, we don't wanna be sponsored anymore, so that had to get delayed so they could remove all the sponsorship. There's reports that they're in all the PGA Superstores and Dick's, that all their merch got pulled off the shelves.

They're in Dick's?

Yeah, they're in Dick's.

OK.

Um, big Dick's guys. And... I think all that news kind of put in perspective people, like, all right, yeah, they fucked up, but this is way too serious.

Like, this is a mistake that like, yes, it was a bad mistake, but you can't— you should be allowed to come back from mistakes.

The apology video should have been Garrett saying, hey, yeah, it was a shitty ad, but what's wrong with people?

Why are—

why is it this bad? Obviously they don't condone— yeah, violence. Like, a golf video company— I don't think anybody thought that Good Good was saying with the ad that they like punching women. I don't think that anybody with a brain had that response. If I was Garrett, should have just been like, this is getting a little bit ridiculous.

It was a bad ad.

Sorry, that sucked. We got to do better. But like, to, to like have everybody turn on us and, uh, was it Alexis?

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

And her and, and say that we like condone domestic violence. Now that's the other thing. It's not domestic violence. It's just violence against women, right? Like domestic violence implies you're in a relationship together. Not just every time that a man hits a woman is domestic violence. It's bad. Still bad. But just be like, we don't condone hitting women. Sorry, it was a fucked-up ad. Thought it was funny.

It wasn't.

Yeah.

Move on.

Yeah.

I think they just tried to... you know, they tried to delete it, hope it went away. It didn't go away. Tried to just do it by putting out a statement, like a very, like, you know, half-in, half-out statement.

That was...

The next day, thought that would have it go away. Then it didn't go away, and then it just snowballed. I think Garrett put this video out...

Right away.

The day the video comes out. You gotta attack it.

right away.

It's nothing.

Yeah, you gotta attack it like someone touched your driver. Yeah, like instantly. Yeah, you'd be all over it. Yeah, I mean, I don't— I, I know a couple of those guys and I'm— I, I like a couple of those guys. I think it's, it's ridiculous to be like they can never work in YouTube golf again. That's so, that's so insane.

That's also the lamest sentence to ever—

Correct. Yeah, these guys, you'll never want to see you around these YouTube golf streets again.

Yeah.

Unsubscribed.

Unsubscribed. Uh, all right, any other, any other stories? Baseball's coming around. I mean, the— we got a play. I, I— Max is, uh, I actually haven't gotten a lot of texts about him. I think the Phillies have lost a couple in a row, but, uh, we'll have some baseball guests coming up after the start of football. We have real football this weekend, which I'm very excited for. Do you want to, do you want to do a real— I'll do a real quick pick. I'm just going to go off I have not looked at this and I don't know— none of these bets are going to be based on any type of research, but I'm going to give you 2 just off the top of my head. Ready? First thing I see, I'll take TCU -9.5 and I'll do the USC over. There you go. 60.5. I'm just going to do that. You got to bet week 0. You got to tip your toe in.

You do.

You got to get a little, little in there.

Yeah, I I don't have the number for it. Maybe you can tell me the UNLV over. Okay, do them both. Absolutely love it. Whatever it was, I already put it in.

Um, what do you have there, Zach? Are you just reading trending topics?

I was, I was going for a late, late ad just in case.

Yeah, yeah, go give us, give us a couple of trending.

Uh, didn't have the late ad, but, uh, yeah, uh, you— I mean, UFC's going to Shanghai. That'll be sick.

Okay, uh, this is like our bottom line. We should make Zach our bottom line. Go ahead.

Shout out to Lil Wayne's son ripping cakes in high school.

Okay.

That's pretty big.

Yeah.

That's awesome. A lot of stuff on here about the Commanders practice, but we did touch that.

But so much stuff. I got— this is quickly becoming like the LeBron James getting dunked on thing where it's like, this might be the worst thing to ever happen to a football team.

Yeah.

It's a lot of coverage.

Yeah, we know.

You know what?

This is also maybe the start of the championship DVD, though.

It could be. It very well could be.

In your defense, I did hear Hank audibly like bury the lead on the second team.

Yeah, yeah, that wasn't in the tweet.

But you like—

it wasn't in the tweet, but you knew because I didn't bury the lead.

I clarified it for you yesterday.

I was just reading a tweet.

You're doing it for clicks.

No, I was just reading a tweet. If she wanted to clarify, she would have clarified it in her tweet, which I read.

This is a Diamondbacks sweep Cubs series with walk-off and shutout. That's just wrong. Cubs don't just keep blowing, just like devastating. I keep having like nights where I'm waking up and being mad about baseball games that I shouldn't be mad about. Uh, okay, let's do Mount Rushmore. Mount Rushmore. Uh, Reese's. It's brought to you by Reese's. There's something for everyone when it comes to Reese's. We love Reese's. It is, uh, the classic cups. How about with the ones with Oreos? Incredible. The big cups, the Reese's Sticks. Reese's is the number one candy out there.

It is.

1-1 pick on every single Mount Rushmore. Reese's are like the Stanley Cup champions, Carolina Hurricanes. That's how dominant they are. Reese's, the best candy in the world. Reese's, the official candy partner of Barstool Sports. Go get Reese's wherever you shop. Get a Reese's today. Okay, boys, uh, Mount Rushmore of worst states.

Yeah.

I just want to say right now, I disavow this Mount Rushmore. I think you all are great because I also don't have to participate.

So no honorable mentions?

No, I'm, I'm not gonna do any honorable mentions today.

That's not fair.

Okay, I'll do one honorable mention depending on how you guys do. All right, here we go. Who's up first? Don't piss off too many. These people probably bought books.

Hank's up first.

Hank, you're up first. Then who? Great. Who, who's after Hank? Hank, PFT, Zach. And then what's the score? I, I— there's been so much talk about clinching and, and non-clinching.

And so if you're a listener, and we talked about it earlier, PFT needs to get— come in last place.

Hank, what are you doing right now?

I'm just setting the scene. Big Cat asked what the score is. PFT needs to come in last place.

That's not the score.

Every single Mount Rushmore.

He asked you what the score was.

He has to come in last place. So if you're voting, make sure that I— if you want to see it, okay, but That—

well, it's not just I would have to come in last place, but one person would have to come in first place every time.

But voting PFT last would make things interesting statistically.

You understand, I had to— I had to celebrate the clinch given your reaction on, on Wednesday.

But you didn't clinch.

Yeah, pretty much did.

Uh, so PFT has 12, Zach has 6, I have 7. Uh, worst state, 1-1. Easy for me. I've been to a lot of states in my time.

Cool.

Most of them. It's Mississippi.

Oh, Brandon's gonna be so pissed.

It's such a dump. Like, we did a, we did a whole, we did a whole—

He's going feet first into it.

I love it.

Unfortunately, it's Mississippi. No, I like this.

Brandon's gonna be upset, but it's like, they're, they're, they literally have one restaurant in like every single chain restaurant. And that's, that's the town.

Well, you got pink eye there.

A lot of pink eye there.

A lot of the good restaurants are in the gas stations, right?

You're gonna probably give us pink eye today.

Yeah, I'm on— well, on my way. But yeah, Mississippi, easy 1-1 for me.

Okay.

All right, easy.

Disagree.

And by the way, this is all relative. Like, we don't— we don't dislike Mississippi. You just got to have a Mount Rushmore of worst states. Yeah, yeah.

If you— yeah, one's gonna— there's gonna be one that's 1 and one that's 50. Yeah, that's how it goes.

I think it's how it goes.

Highest percentage of African Americans in Mississippi. That's interesting that Hank took them to Number 1 as the worst.

I'm just going on my personal experience.

Like, I just thought it was interesting.

He got pink eye.

Yeah, no, just, just the stats. I'm going to go with North Dakota. North Dakota. It's going to be my first.

Doesn't that have Mount Rushmore?

Then South Dakota. Got it. South Dakota. Yep. That was one thing I made sure to check before putting on my Mount Rushmore. North Dakota. Just not a lot. Yeah, it's not a lot.

Great North.

Yeah, really.

Zach?

I'm gonna go with, uh, California.

I love that play, Zach!

Go off!

Uh, 2 picks, right?

No, no, no, go off on California.

Oh, California, you know, uh, so yeah, we're talking more states. I'm just gonna go California. There's 50 states, 4 gotta go on each list. We got 12 states combined.

Yeah, yeah.

And my second pick I would like to take You gotta name another state. Second state, we're gonna go with South Carolina.

South Carolina.

Okay, not a bad pick.

Interesting.

Okay, you thought you were North Carolina.

Yeah, but you're not.

Could never—

you're not better than North Carolina.

No, no, North Carolina is awesome.

North Carolina's top 5 state.

Yeah.

Embrace debate.

Okay.

PFT.

Do you guys have the balls to do what Zach did? Zach just went with an objectively, like, highly rated state and said, fuck that state.

Good take. I mean, I appreciate the balls that it takes.

Yeah.

What it could have been and what it once was.

I mean, California has everything, Zach. It's got warm weather.

It's got mountains. Have you had one conversation with Jerry O'Connell this week?

LA.

He's told us it's over. It's got San Diego.

It's got San Francisco.

It's got Sacramento.

Oh, he said California Is over. No, he's saying LA.

No, no, no, no, LA.

He has said the city of LA.

No, you have not had a— he has said California is over LA.

California.

He literally said California.

LA.

Oh, shut up.

California has Jerry O'Connell.

I was born in California. I would never put it on my list.

Okay.

Respect.

It's back to me.

Yeah.

All right. Second pick. I'm going to go with Delaware.

Yeah, Delaware doesn't even really sound like a state.

What's going on, Delaware? Yeah, you're basically like taxes though.

Taxes.

You're the Lesotho of Maryland.

Delaware sounds like it should be the capital of a state.

I mean, I will say I've heard like that Dewey Beach is sick. Dewey Beach is pretty cool, but that's, that's the only thing I've ever heard about Delaware, and I'm sure that's nice, but I have not heard like any follow-up.

Yeah, the thing is Dewey Beach is a good beach. I've been there. I went there a few times growing up in the area. But 10 times out of 10, I'd rather go to a Jersey beach, and I'd rather go to Ocean City, Maryland, or I'd rather go to the Eastern Shore of Maryland or Virginia. Okay.

Delaware on the list. You made the list, Delaware. Hi, we're in Delaware.

Good job with the whole like having every company in the world registered there though. Mm-hmm. That's pretty cool. Flaco.

Flaco.

Flaco.

Well, Flaco spent, like, what, 2 years there?

Flaco!

Shane, he went there. He went 2 years there.

Flaco. All right.

Flaco. Flaco! Uh, 2 picks for me. Again, I'm gonna go with personal experience. I'm gonna go with, uh, New Mexico.

Yeah, that's a good pick. There's nothing in there.

Nothing in there.

Is your time in New Mexico just when we were there?

I've driven through New Mexico probably, I don't know, several times. Yeah, we've driven through there a few times. I've driven through— There a couple other times, going to Arizona. You're wrong about nothing. California. No, it's genuinely, like... Texas has some bad parts, too, of driving, where you're driving and you're like, I'm in the middle of fucking nowhere. This is awful. But Texas has some good parts. New Mexico, you get through Texas, and let's say you're going to Arizona or California, it's just brutal. It's brutal. There's nothing there. It's literally like, hey, next gas station, like, 150 miles.

Yeah. If we're strictly talking the highway, I would agree. It's not a great highway to drive through, but Santa Fe is a beautiful city. city, and they've got mountains to ski on. They've got actually some really good food, which is like a combination of, uh, Mexican food and Native American food. It makes a really good mix. Uh, but yeah, I think it's a beautiful state.

I disagree. I think it's one of the— one of my worst.

Okay.

Okay.

Uh, and then this one, I had a lot of personal history. I think when this show started, before I realized how big it was, I said some nasty things about it and got a lot of like death threats. Like probably the meanest fan base, worse than Worse than Philadelphia. Uh, and then last week when I went to live, I was joined by Big Cat's assistant Dom, who was from this state.

Mmhmm.

And we were in the car for probably 8 hours there and back. We stopped, uh, played a little golf. So, like, we spent the entire day together, probably 12 to 14 hours.

Mmhmm.

He brought up different— whether it was the Cavs, whether it was the fucking Indians, whether it was his high school football team, like, Akron. We talked about Akron for, like, 2 hours.

Mmhmm.

And I had to, like— I snapped. I snapped. It was like, stop talking about Ohio. Like, stop. So, Ohio is on this list. It started with LeBron and the Cavs, and I said some nasty shit about them and Cleveland, and people got really mad. And then it was just reemphasized last week.

Like, I like state pride, but, like, Ohio might be on the Mount Rushmore of state pride states.

Dom and Tate are like, like they're both psychos and like, yeah, but they're a shitty state.

It is.

It is like a sneaky populous state. Like there's a lot of people that live there. He was like, when I think of Ohio, I want to move to Ohio.

Like, no one wants to move to Ohio unless you're from Ohio. No one wants to. No one's like, you know what I want to do in life? I want to make so much money so that I can move to fucking Ohio.

Did you see the commercials that they would play during football games? like last season. Oh, it was essentially, yeah, a guy that moves to Ohio and then he meets a woman and it's like, come to Ohio, get married. That was their ad campaign. I kind of like— I respect Ohio because there's a lot—

there's a lot—

You're scared of Ohio.

No, I'm not scared of Ohio. There's a lot of cool stuff there. But like, in terms of like cultural contributions to American society, what, what are their main cultural exports?

I asked him the Mount Rushmore of people, right? He said—

he said, no, that's North Carolina. Yeah, they split it.

They were born in Ohio, right?

And then they moved to North Carolina where the first flight happened, and now there's a license plate battle between who gets to claim them.

The teacher that got blown up with the O-rings in the Challenger? Ohio.

OK.

That was his answer. I said, who's on the Mount Rushmore of people from Ohio? And he said that.

I thought she was New Hampshire.

I don't know.

This was his answer. I don't know. I actually think she was from New Hampshire too, now that you say that.

There have been, I mean, some obviously incredible basketball players right there from Akron. Steph Curry.

Yep. But yeah, Ohio's my pick.

I got no issues with Ohio. Toledo, shout out Toledo.

Yeah, she was from New Hampshire.

He doesn't even know. That's how little people— Brutal.

Yeah, I have the key to the city in Toledo, so I will have to defend the state of Ohio. I will defend the state of Ohio.

Well, I mean, there was a battle that was fought over Toledo. Some would say that Toledo belongs to Michigan. Yeah, a war was fought for that city.

What about the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame?

Yeah, good stuff. Love it.

There it is. Okay, uh, 17 things America should thank Ohio for. Oh, you ready for this?

They're the only state that's got a flag that's not a rectangle. Yeah, it's like a weird triangle-ish shape.

Superman. Jack Quaker Oatmeal.

No, he's from Krypton.

No, no, I think the— I think the guy Stanley— did Stanley come up with Superman?

Who cares?

I now have to pay for this article. Hold on, let me see if I can read through the ad. So I can't give you any context on any of these. Quaker Oatmeal. is number 2. Hot dogs, number 3. Stadium mustard. Rubber, okay, that's 5. Skyline Chili, 6. Oh yeah, I'm not helping Ohio right now. Phonographs, 8. Uh, Buckeye candies, that actually is elite, the chocolate peanut butter, those are awesome. Uh, pop-top can airplanes, that's a big one. Lifesavers. The National Football League.

Ooh.

Oh, checkmate.

Ooh.

Checkmate.

How do they have— the NFL is 14.

Behind rubber.

Rubber, rubber and, uh, pop-top cans. The NFL is a pretty big one.

Also football.

Yeah. Oh, and also the thing you guys are all obsessed with and spend every waking hour thinking about. Uh, that too.

Hot-ass hookers in trailer parks.

Yeah. Okay, Hank. Godspeed on that pick. Do you think it was— if you had not spent 12 hours with Dom?

Probably not. It would probably— maybe 4th round. I don't know. The, the— again, I, I said it before, but you know, we're talking about the 10-year anniversary of the book and stuff. I like— it was— I think that was the Cavs 2016 run, and I hated LeBron. I talked a lot of shit about Cleveland, not when I didn't realize, I guess, how big the show was or how like Yeah, the reach we had, because I was kind of joking around, kind of serious, but the hate that I got after that was one of those, like, eye-opening moments. Like, oh, wow, like, there's a lot of people that listen to the show. Apparently a lot from Ohio, and apparently a lot that want me dead. Mm-hmm. So that, that was one of those, like, oh, I think we have people actually listening to this thing.

Yeah. All right, PFT, you have a pick?

Arkansas.

Ooh, okay.

Easy one. Arkansas, you got the Clintons, you got the Huckabees, and you got the Duggars. Well, Walmart, take your pick. Oh yeah, we'll toss Walmart in there too. You got the Walmart family in there.

Hot Springs, Arkansas is awesome.

That is, I've heard, pretty cool.

Yeah, but really cool.

But everything besides Hot Springs— is that where Al Capone went there to try to cure his syphilis?

Correct.

And it was also where the Yankees did spring training. A lot of baseball teams used to do spring training there. So like Babe Ruth, they're like, this is the bathtub Babe Ruth sat in.

Yeah.

So Al Capone, skid marks on it.

Al Capone, he had an itchy penis, and so he would travel to Arkansas and sit in this lake. And he'd be like, I think—

No, not a lake. It was like they have like the hot springs coming off of the mountain into like bathtubs and like soaking rooms.

It'd be like, I'm going to sit in this special Arkansas water and then my dick will be fine. It wasn't. Spoiler.

No.

So yeah, Arkansas, I think that's a pretty easy pick. Arkansas, I've driven through it a few times as well. Stayed overnight in Little Rock probably 6 or 5 times, I'd say. Not a great state. Not a great state.

All right, Zach, you have the last 2.

All right, I'm gonna go with Utah.

Oh, sneaky one.

Utah just feels like they got some shit going on.

I feel like Utah's beautiful, but Utah sneaky might be our lowest AWL listenership.

You think so?

I don't know. Do you think Mormons are listening to this?

I think when they want to be bad.

Yeah. Yeah, I guess there's a lot of people that aren't Mormons that live in Utah too.

Yeah, but if you're Mormon, it's like, what do you have? You can sneak off to the soda shop.

Mormons, you picked the state.

You can listen to part of my tape.

The geology is beautiful.

It is absolutely gorgeous state.

And then, yeah, but give those Legos back. Gotta give those Legos back. That all occurred in Utah. That's not cool.

Well, that's—

yeah, I know. Bricks and minifigs. Fuck bricks and minifigs. You guys are thieves.

I know what Zach's talking about.

What happened?

Don't go down a rabbit hole on this one.

Zach, I won't— yeah.

No, give it to him for a minute.

Go.

All right, there's a Lego sourcing company that stole this guy's Legos He loaned the company his LEGOs on consignment. They canceled the franchise, took the sets. It was like their family's entire inheritance, or family net wealth.

What, $200,000?

Yeah, $200,000 in LEGO sets. Uh, they're like, no, there's no sets. We don't have the sets. Those aren't Ben's sets. Those are his sets. Give 'em back. You guys suck. Utah, 3rd pick.

Allegedly.

Allegedly. Super allegedly.

OK. Zach, I did find that in my YouTube algorithm, 3 weeks ago, and before I knew it, I had watched 5 hours of YouTube videos about what happened to this guy's Legos.

Mm-hmm.

4th pick, we're gonna go just based off the map. Most of my life, this corner, I'm going Washington because I used to think, what's going on up there?

Mm-hmm.

Okay, another possible—

you're picking like beautiful states, but I'm gonna take Washington as my 4th pick.

He's being true to himself though.

Current Super Bowl champion state.

Yeah, true.

I don't think that you're gonna win this draft.

That could have been to anyone.

Who was looking directly at you when I whispered.

Oh, missed that. All right, look, if I lose this draft, that's just because you want— shout out to the great states of the United States of America.

Yeah, you wanted to go out on your—

listen.

Yeah. All right, PFT.

All right, I'm gonna go with Kansas. It's Kansas.

Okay.

Kansas. Flat wheat. Kansas.

Hank?

They, they don't even have the best Kansas City.

That's true.

That's crazy.

That's true.

The state of Kansas is ranked number 2 in states that have Kansas cities.

Barbecue?

Yeah, barbecue's okay. I don't think it's basketball. I don't think it's the best barbecue in the country. I'd say I put, I put Texas above it. I put North Carolina barbecue in front of it. I put Tennessee in front of it. Yeah. Again, I think that's all you need to know.

It's a—

it's got the second best Kansas City.

I think I've been to Kansas.

Yeah, you have.

Okay. I've been to Kansas.

We went to— we went to George Brett. Remember, we stayed in Kansas City.

Or was that Missouri? Isn't that the whole thing?

Yeah, it is.

It is. No, you're right, because I think, I think the stadium—

no, I thought the stadium was in Missouri. Is it not?

It's in Missouri. It is?

Yeah.

Yeah.

I don't think we went across.

Even the Royals?

Yeah, they're right next to each other.

Okay.

Yeah.

Uh, my last pick, I was thinking about pandering and just taking Rhode Island because it's the smallest populous, but I, I like Rhode Island. Uh, I'll take the worst of the Dakotas and take South Dakota.

On the Mount Rushmore, which is where Mount Rushmore is.

Mount Rushmore, shitty tourist destination. No offense. Okay, great segment. Shitty tourist destination. Okay, you show up, you go, oh, there's a mountain.

All right, see ya.

Um, yeah, South Dakota. Okay.

All right, good Mount Rushmore.

Cold.

I, I would have— if I were participating in this Mount Rushmore, I would have made the case. Listen, I understand natural beauty is counting for something. I got nothing for Alaska. Literally nothing.

I was thinking about that. I don't got shit for—

I ain't ever going. It's so far, far away.

I would like to go though.

But dude, it's so fucking far away. Do they even have golf there?

I would just go fishing. I would go fishing. I don't even need a— I don't even need a rod.

I don't know.

I just think that like Alaska—

There's so much land.

I know. They just left— Look at that. There's a fucking moose on the golf course. Alaska gets a lot of pub just because it's so like different and weird. And it's just like, all right, I get it. Like, you know, you're way up there. It's cold.

I mean, it's definitely inconvenient to get to, but I think, I think it's got to be a top, maybe it's probably definitely a top 10 beauty state.

Oh yeah.

And once— Good for them.

It's never, never gets— you probably golf at 11 o'clock at night there.

Yeah, you probably could unless it was wintertime, then you couldn't golf at all.

Really good crab.

All right, good Mount Rushmore.

Excellent, Sammy.

Were there any that you were thinking about picking, Zach? I thought you were gonna play the hits. It would have been great if you just went straight, like— I thought about California, Texas, California, New York.

Yeah, I thought about taking Massachusetts.

Take the state of Chicago, just to just really fire the people up.

I did.

That was the—

we started there, we didn't finish there.

Yeah, New York's not a bad pick, it's just so big. Yeah.

Wait, you mean it's not a bad state?

No, it is a bad state, but it's big enough that there's some good parts.

Oh, got it.

You like Buffalo?

Yeah.

Which is pretty— it's very like Ohio-coded.

It is.

Yeah.

It's all people care about.

Basically Ohio.

Yeah. I think Ohio people are gonna be mad.

No, I will—

no, they actually— they don't care at all when you, uh, bash the state of Ohio. They're really cool about it.

Am I wrong?

Uh, yes, I think you're a little wrong. Um, I, I don't think Ohio's that bad. You're right about the fact Ohio people are crazy about Ohio. That is a fact. Like, they are— like I said, if we did a Mount Rushmore of state pride, they'd be very high up there. Um, I've been to some very nice places in Ohio.

Do you think anyone's ever, that's not from Ohio, had dreams and goals of ending up in Ohio? Hmm.

Yeah.

See, you guys are just scared.

No, no, no, I'm thinking about it.

Probably not.

Probably not. Because I disagree with you, it must mean that I'm scared?

No.

Hank, Hank.

I know you don't believe that.

I'll answer you. Probably not. I do not think people from outside of Ohio are like, I can't wait to someday move to Ohio.

Yes, there are some people, uh, they live in Kentucky, and they're like, I can't wait to get to— Kentucky's nice. Yeah, but a lot of people are like, I can't wait to get to Cincinnati across that bridge. I'm gonna move to the big city when I grow up.

What about the— what about the birthplace of grit, Youngstown?

We've been. It's fine.

There's your Youngstown review. I like Youngstown. The Italian Street Festival was pretty sick when we did a Rough and Rowdy there.

Okay, Hank, I was surprised you didn't take Pennsylvania.

It's kind of like New York.

Pennsylvania's got a lot.

Yeah.

The middle has got nothing, but the The, the—

each side's got good cities, but much like Ohio, Hank has a, a history of denigrating the good people of Pennsylvania.

Philadelphia though. Philadelphia, Pittsburgh, Niners, Penn State. We are.

Yeah, we are. Yeah, we are.

You always are.

Yeah, they are.

Okay, let's get to, uh, Jerry O'Connell in his fantasy preview. Before we do that, he's got a couple ads.

Before we get to Jerry O'Connell, he's brought to you by our great friends over at BetterHelp. The show is sponsored by BetterHelp. You've heard me talk about BetterHelp for a long time, but I don't know that we've ever actually talked about how much people love this service when they use it. You can check it out yourself, betterhelp.com/reviews. See amazing customer reviews in real time. BetterHelp has an average live therapy session rating of 4.9 out of 5 based on over 1.7 million client session reviews. The feedback from people who have actually used the service speaks for itself. More than 6 million people have used BetterHelp globally. The consistent feedback from real users makes it easy to see why so many people continue to choose BetterHelp. BetterHelp therapists have at least 3 years and 1,000 hours of hands-on experience. They also hold all required education, training, and certifications across a wide range of mental health specialties. BetterHelp makes it easy to get started. Answer a few questions, get matched with a therapist based on your needs, switch therapists at any time if it's not the right fit. See the reviews, see what stands out, see if BetterHelp is right for you.

Visit betterhelp.com/pmt. That's betterhelp.com/pmt. Jerry O'Connell's Fantasy Preview is also brought to you by our great friends over at Paramount Plus, which is the streaming home for the NFL on CBS all season long. That's right, football fans, stream your live local CBS games On Paramount Plus every NFL Sunday. Stay locked into all the action right through the AFC Championship Game. This year's schedule is once again stacked with can't-miss games. You've got the NFL's biggest stars and the season's most intriguing storylines across both the AFC and the NFC. Will the Patriots take the next step? Will they get back to the top? Is this the Rams' year for another ring? Are the Chiefs and Eagles still elite contenders? And how will the Ravens And Steelers fare with the new head coaches. Which teams will shock the world, shock the league? Paramount Plus brings it all to you along with additional NFL coverage. They've got NFL Today Plus and NFL Today, CBS Sports HQ, Fantasy Football Today, and more. Sign up at Paramount Plus for everything NFL and stay for the UEFA Champions League, the UFC, and all the other CBS Sports properties. They all stream on Paramount Plus.

Another thrilling season of the NFL on CBS is officially here, streaming live on Paramount Plus. See you Sunday. I love, I love hearing that. And now here is our dear friend for a quick NFL fantasy preview, Jerry O'Connell.

Okay, it is time. Jerry O'Connell is here. Well, we should say Michael O'Connell is here. We will get into that as well. But Jerry O'Connell is here. It is our fantasy, fantasy preview for the 2026 season. Jerry, you—

it's yours.

The floor is yours. You have no shirt on. Your body looks incredible for 58 years old. It's like you're, you're, you're scrumptious. That's what I'd say. That's the word I'd use— scrumptious.

Um, thanks so much. It's so exciting to be back. I gotta say, the pressure mounts every year. The pressure mounts every year. I, I'm not even making a joke here. It's— I used to get nervous about all the uhs and ums because someone would count them. There was like an, uh, meter. I don't know, one. But now the pressure is—

now you're totally not thinking.

People really look to me as a fantasy leader, a guru.

Yeah, you are.

Who?

People.

Yeah.

And do people come up to you and ask you You know what's funny? Start Ja'Marr Chase.

People do come up to me. I was at LAX by myself and a guy came up to me. I should have known I was in trouble when he was wearing all Panthers gear. By the way, this is offseason, so it's a little crazy if you're wearing all Panthers gear and on your way connecting a flight to— if they're playing Tampa, fine. But it was like, it was like June. Full Panthers gear.

Mm-hmm.

And he came up to me and grabbed my arm in Terminal 4 of LAX and went, Chuba Hubbard, Chuba Hubbard, mm-hmm, Chuba. Mm-hmm. And then just walked off. And it's kind of hot. I love it, I love it.

I really do love it. It's great.

Mincy cornered me and just kept like repeating over and over again, DJ Moore, DJ Moore, DJ Moore, DJ Moore.

Oh, he's high on DJ Moore.

Very high on DJ Moore. And I gotta tell you, I do take that advice. He's, uh, I mean, we'll get into it.

He's a savant.

He, uh, he's hiding a lot of stuff though, to be fair.

Wasn't it so sad and funny watching him try and round second yesterday?

And then he took off the boot.

He didn't take it off.

He took it off.

Miracle.

Oh gosh, his doctor's gonna be a little upset about that. Yeah.

Uh, well, he actually still sees a family pediatrician. He found that out the other day.

He sees his child doctor.

Yeah, yeah, there's a— there's an aquarium, there's Highlights magazine in the, uh, lobby. It's actually an aquarium.

It's a vet. Yeah.

Have they had the talk with him about getting the HPV vaccine yet?

I'm not sure. I actually— that's HIPAA, so we wouldn't— we would actually not get into that, and we'll bleep that out.

When you're a big boy or a big person, you, uh—

Yeah, when he gets his shots, the doctor does the little thing where like there's, there's like the wooden— yeah, and like pricks him and then pricks him and then pricks, you know, just a little game.

Yeah, lollipop stuff.

Um, nose, red nose.

I, I know it's been said, Adams. I know it's been said a bunch, but, uh, Tim Woods, Timmm, 2 M's, is, uh, the hero of Camp Barstool.

Is this a fantasy preview or the Barstool Camp recap?

All right, you won't get into it?

No, no, no, I'm just wondering. You know, I'm, I'm— last year you gave us, uh, open to everything, open to the universe. I've been dying to know what this year's theme is gonna be.

All right, Jerry, how many pages do you have?

Big Cat has been asking me all week long here at Camp Barstool, how long is this gonna fucking be?

No, that's not— that was not—

How long is this gonna be?

How many—

that was not the question that I asked you. I, I said, how much time do you need? Because I have other things I have to do.

And you said, I need 90 minutes.

I said, great, I allotted you already.

I, I gotta tell you, Big Cat, and I'm gonna say this to your face, I don't care about you or PFT. I care I care about— I care about the AWLs, right? And this being an educational experience, right? That's it.

Mm-hmm.

So if you have to sit here for 2 and a half hours, yep, go take a pee-pee, big cat, because this is— we're, we're doing this.

We're doing this.

Things take time.

Yeah, things do take time.

That said, are we ready?

I'm ready for this. This is maybe the most informative episode of Part of My Take that we do per year.

I get excited for this every year.

You're just—

A lot of jokes, but you come out here and you actually get— you give some, some good information.

All right, right now, Jerry, we're at the portion of, of like the— like we're sitting next to each other at a nice fancy dinner and our legs have brushed up against each other a couple times and you feel that bolt of electricity, but we're still here with other people. Yeah, I just want to fuck. Okay, okay, me and you. I wanna, I wanna be inside you.

Well, I, I want to be courted a little bit.

Okay.

I mean, I wanna— I can't just jump into bed.

Okay.

Is Hank not joining us?

Uh, he's here.

Hank, do you want to join us?

No, he's, he's, he's here. He's gonna— when, when Jerry needs him, he can come in. I think he's okay.

Listen, no, Hank, come on, Hank.

All right, he's load management. This is actually smart of him because he knows the courting process. No, I, I'm defending him.

Just jump in here.

When he needs to be in, he'll be in.

I would I just— I don't know, I like having Hank on the show. Come on, Hank, why are you upset, Hank?

I don't—

you're—

I, I don't think he has to be on until Jerry starts bringing him up. Um, because then when—

I'm gonna sit here.

Please don't leave me hanging. For the people on Netflix, uh, Hank is always, uh, part of the process. Um, wow, a couple things about, uh, being here at Camp Barstool. Um, Rico Bosco's night terrors are Yeah. Pretty insane. And, and PFT was talking to him last night. It was like talking to another realm. It was like you were having a full-on conversation with him.

I was trying to walk him through it. He was like, he was looking for somebody, and I thought maybe he was looking for Hank. So I was like, it's okay, Rico, Hank's here, everything's gonna be okay, Hank's here. And then he got confused by that, and then I was just like, it's okay, Rico, Rico's here, Rico's here, it'll be fine. He's like, where's Rico? But we, uh, we got through it.

It was, uh, it was something. Um, I do have to say, when, when he got into the fight— I shouldn't say this, but I'm going to, and he was right about it— when he got into the fight and I was holding him back, and it's difficult to hold him back— he was fighting with Nicky Smokes over some blown call— um, I was holding him back and I was like, Rico, like, just calm down. He was really like fired up. Spit— spittle was coming out of his mouth. And he looked at me and went, a million views. And he was right, that thing got a million views. He knows what he's doing. All right, let's start, guys. You ready?

Yes, I'm ready to fuck. You look great, Jerry.

There it is.

You look incredible. You look so good.

Oh, get up the crack. Oh yeah. Crack it, Jerry.

How many pages is that?

Combination, right?

By the way, thank you to Jerry for, uh, doing the voice work for part of my book, writing 2 chapters. He's the best. He's the best.

So fun. It was a really good time. And I'm sorry if my, uh, Portnoy accent was a little New Yorkish. The, the Boston accent is a little tough. You getting a blankie, Hank? Is this like an ad thing or are you cold?

Thank you. No, I'm a little chilly.

He's a little chilly.

Okay, here we go. Um, I, I, I'm gonna say it again. We're gonna be open to the universe this season.

Oh.

I can't have, you know, a few years ago, if you recall, I was like, we've got to draft Darren Waller in the 4th. That didn't work out.

Right.

Last year I was like, we've got to draft Jayden Daniels. He's going to break all records.

Yeah.

Every record, you said.

Yep.

Every record. And that didn't work out. Some would say it was even like a, like a, like a jinx curse. I'm actually, I'm going to ask for, I'm a little nervous this year because so much is happening. There's so many injuries. It's, I'm asking the AWLs for help this year. I would like help. I'm going to be very open with, uh, during the draft. I'm going to talk to Zach about maybe even streaming it. I, I need help this year and it needs to be constructive help. It can't be—

What's that face, Zach?

I'm listening.

Um, I, I just, like, I'll be the first to admit I can't get over the hump. I haven't won. No, you can't win the big one. I can't. I, I just can't.

You can't.

Um, so I was gonna do something a little different this year where I was gonna go round by round, player by player, and not—

Okay.

And not team by team.

Every player.

Hank, are you like— Well, I was gonna go every round, player by player, individually.

Okay.

But I, uh, I, uh, I have like a I do some— whenever I do recording, I go to like a walk-in. We have a walk-in closet. Um, it's mostly my wife's clothes. It's all my wife's clothes. Um, but the sound is very good in there. It sort of dampens the sound. It doesn't sound hollow like a cabin in northern Wisconsin. Um, and I, I recorded myself going round by round, and I played it back, and it was, uh, it was super boring. And it went on way too long on like other like fantasy previews that I've done.

Yeah, you can't have that.

And, um, I realized like when, when you draft a player, you're not just drafting a player, you're buying into a, a team, you know. You're, you're buying into a, a, a process, a thought process, a system, uh, a way of life. What's the word I'm looking for?

A, a a family.

Mm-hmm.

So we're not doing the round-by-round thing?

A philosophy. So that, like, all that said, we're gonna start with the AFC East.

Okay, okay, okay. So you recorded an entire rehearsal and it was— it was shit?

Yeah, it, it just went on. It seemed to go on way too long.

Uh-huh.

It just went on and on and on.

Yes.

How many times did you listen back to it?

Just 3 times.

I got to, I got to send that to us. Okay.

Let's start with Miami. It's sort of interesting. What are our feelings? Again, I'm asking for help. What are our feelings on Malik Willis?

He was pretty good last year.

Yeah, I thought so too.

He was good in a, on a good team.

Yeah.

With a good—

So you're saying the Packers are a good team?

They were last year. They went to the playoffs.

Okay.

A good team, good coaching staff. Will he be able to do it on a, uh, worse team, worse run franchise?

Right. Well, um, his receivers are Tutu Atwell and Malik Washington, and I don't have much confidence in either of them. So I think he's going to have a little trouble in the passing game. I am pretty high on Devin Achane. Devin Achane. Um, he had 12 TDs last season, 1,300 yards, elite pass catcher.

So you, you said his name wrong twice.

Achane.

Achane.

Achane. Um, what do we know about Bobby Slowik, his new offensive coordinator?

He was, uh, he was hot young offensive brain a couple years ago. CJ Stroud.

I understand that.

Year and then kind of—

but then he fell off, fell off a little bit. So I'm a little concerned about that offense other than, yeah, De'Von Achane. Let's move on to the Patriots.

Oh, that was fast. I can't tell, are you, are you high in the league for his rushing?

I'm not. Okay.

Yeah.

That was actually a very good Dolphins preview.

Yeah.

You said the one name that could possibly maybe be drafted if you had to do a 2-quarterback league. Yeah.

And then the one running back. And he is, last time I was doing mock drafts, I don't know what's going to happen when this comes out, if someone's injured or something happens, he was going in the 2nd round. And I think he's, I think he's worthy.

Yeah.

Yeah.

He's very good. Yes. And he's very fast. That was really good, Jerry.

Let's go to the Patriots.

Take a compliment one time.

Jesus Christ.

I think, and I can't believe I'm saying this, I think Drake Maye is going to break all records next season and just be, I think he's going to have an incredible season.

Me too.

I think the addition of AJ Brown I think the addition of AJ Brown working with head coach Rable. I think Trevion as a running back who had 9 TDs and splitting carries, splitting time.

Romeo Doubs.

Now I'm going to talk about other receivers that they have in a second. I think we could have as many as 3 Patriots on our team next year.

Whoa.

I, I think they're gonna really have a huge year, and I think Drake Maye is going to— I, I, I know last year I said that about another quarterback, but I believe Drake Maye is going to break all records this year. I think he's going to be the guy.

All records?

Yeah.

Hank, I think he's young.

You feel good about that?

I feel great about that, you know, coming from a guy like Jerry.

What's that supposed to mean?

He's a fantasy expert.

Yeah.

Um, I have some questions. Uh, isn't it incredible that we haven't heard anything about that Taylor Swift wedding? Like, nothing has come out about it.

We actually did.

What?

We heard some things.

We heard some things. We're not going to say who we heard them from, where we heard them from, because we are good friends. But we heard some things. Um, not bad things, just how crazy it was.

Yeah.

Yeah, $30 million wedding. That's what they're saying. It's crazy. I mean, that's like— I mean, if Max has had 5 weddings, you figure, what, like, uh, at least like a few, like tens of thousands of dollars each wedding?

Yeah, at least.

Um, we could have 3. You— Sandler officiated. Anybody talk about that?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You think he did the baby voice, Sandman, or you think he did like the adult, like adult?

The ring, the circle. It's like a circle.

I think he did the Billy Madison.

You think he did like, I now pronounce you my wife?

Yes.

Or do you think he was like, I'm gonna take this seriously?

No, I think he did the former. Do you know this?

Oh, do you know the Sandman? Yeah, very nice man. Do you—

is there any chance you could get into his clique? Because it feels like if you are, you just get into his movies.

Uh, I'm, I'm not that tight with him. Uh, I'm not that tight with him.

We should try that.

Do you think, uh, do you think at the wedding he wore shorts?

Yeah, shorts and a big, uh—

I hope so.

Sweatshirt. Yeah, he probably actually asked to keep one end of MSG open so he could hoop.

Yeah.

My only issue with the Patriots is—

We're not in this show.

Just the only—

my only issue with the Patriots, and this is a serious question, okay?

All records.

We're sort of watching it happen with Deshaun Watson right now. We watched it happen with Tiger Woods. Yeah, someone— and, and I'm, I'm being serious for a second.

Yep, we're following.

We've seen, we've seen someone go through a scandal.

Yep. Yeah.

And performance-wise, they were never the same, right? Are we in agreement with that?

Yes.

Yes.

I've seen this before.

DeShawn, Tiger. Are we in agreement with that?

With DeShawn and Tiger, we have seen them go through scandals. Yes.

And not never be the same. Tiger came back, but he never was the fully same.

He won the— he won—

he won a Masters. Yeah, but like, he wasn't dominant.

He was like—

he wasn't peak Tiger.

Tiger, clearly number 1 in the world.

Do we agree on that, Hank?

Which scandal? He had scandals before that too.

Yeah, no, I'm just saying, would you agree on that?

No.

Okay.

All right.

Okay.

Would you agree that we haven't seen the same Deshaun Watson as we saw when he was with the Texans?

Yes.

Okay.

Okay.

Good point, Jared.

So legal troubles, they both have seen it before.

So these things do affect—

so legal issues, legal issues. Yes.

Sometimes they affect on-field performance, on-course performance. I'm concerned possibly we may see that with the Patriots coaching staff this season.

Okay.

That's my only trepidation about not drafting Drake Maye and saying he's going to break all records and be the best in the league.

So you're going—

so you now are—

It's my only trepidation. But Hank says that it doesn't— it's not always the case. So we're leaning again toward having 3 Patriots on our team. I do think AJ Brown is going to help him.

Drake Maye.

Yes.

I think AJ Brown with an older— uh, with a younger quarterback will sort of, um, I don't want to say get his way, but will take sort of that alpha role on that team that I think AJ, um, uh, thrives in. And I think Coach Rabel, if, uh, he doesn't like go the Deshaun Tiger route, will, uh, will help AJ.

Do you think that, uh, AJ is sometimes too vocal and that could, that could provide like a little instability for, uh—

You know, it's funny, I've talked to my friend who's a huge Phillies fan. He's the guy who helps me with the poems and everything, Ryan.

He's the television executive, Sony executive.

Um, he said to me once, I was— when, when AJ was like reading books on sidelines and causing a disturbance on the Eagles team, uh, he said, this is how you want your wide receiver ones. We've made that argument before.

That diva wide receivers are not always the worst thing. You want a guy who's wired like that, like, hey, I need to— you can't have multiple. Yeah, it can go south.

But you hope it doesn't go south.

But you want a guy who's like—

maybe suffer from deeper problems, you know.

You want the guy who basically says, I am always open.

Um, let me ask, uh, and Hank, really be honest here, please.

Hank, be honest.

And Hank, you gotta stop yawning. I'm not gonna get mad at you, Hank, because I said some things on this podcast where I was sexual, and I was, I was talking about the company I was working for and, and adding sexual acts toward Hank, and I'm not going to do that again. And I do want to apologize to you.

I would like to apologize for yawning. I got like 2 hours of sleep last night. I was trying to just be off on the side of the camera and I got called in here to say nothing, but I will be honest with you.

But can we get you a Mountain Dew?

I like seeing your face, Hank. I'm sorry.

But can we get you a Mountain Dew or something, or a creamy Mountain Dew or anything?

That was nice of you, Jerry. That was very big of you.

Tasting great since '48.

Apologizing to Hank for the time that you said that you would—

Well, I'm apologizing to Hank. I'm also apologizing to the extremely large company that I worked for that had to hear all that. That was, that was an HR situation. Um, but Hank, Hank, I, I do want to ask you, when this news came out about the 49ers owner this past week, about him going to a trailer park and soliciting a prostitute. Did that— did that immediately make you think of your owner of the Patriots? Yes, it did. Did it make you relieved? Like, look, everyone's doing it?

Yeah, I guess.

Okay. Um, now let me ask you this. Uh, obviously, we were just talking about him, a quarterback, Deshaun Watson, solicited, exposed himself, uh, allegedly, uh, and was punished by the league. Uh, what do you think? I mean, I know it's in the past now, but, uh, well, well, do you think— how do you compare all of these acts and what the league should do?

I am guessing I'm guessing that this is gonna play out similar— similarly.

Yep.

Similarly. Uh, similarly.

As it did with Mr. Kraft, where they're so rich, they're billionaires, they're gonna get the best legal team, and this is gonna get thrown out in court and become essentially a non-issue, even though it is an issue.

But he's already pleaded no contest, so it's not— I don't think it's going to court.

So it's going nowhere.

Yeah, he just got fined.

Yeah, the legal process is already—

he served one day in jail. jail, time served.

So that's the same as Robert Kraft.

It's over.

Yeah, yeah. And they're gonna pay, you know, ESPN's not gonna talk about it.

Nope.

They're gonna move on from it and that'll be that. That's what happens when you're a billionaire.

That's actually pretty astute.

Okay, yeah, good to know. Uh, Hank, did you see the, um, Aaron Rodgers— I, I mean, I know we're strictly Barstool Um, we're strictly Barstool. Mountain Dew tastes great since '48. Um, did you see the Aaron Rodgers Pat McAfee interview? Pat McAfee's on ESPN. He's got a show on ESPN. Um, did you see, uh, the Aaron Rodgers Pat McAfee, uh, training camp interview?

I did not. Yeah.

Anyone else see it?

I saw it.

Where he was, uh, he was questioning He was saying— he was questioning why—

yeah, yeah, brought up on the show. Thanks for listening.

Yeah, but good call, Hank.

He was also questioning why, uh, no one else was talking about your coach.

And, uh, yeah, it's my— it's my hot seat.

Yeah, it was.

Um, that he was the only one that talked about it. Actually, Aaron, he, he wasn't. If you recall, I actually— we had a special episode of Part of My Take where, yeah, I actually had some questions and I talked about it.

Yeah, on ESPN.

No, you're right here. I, I'm exclusively here.

Aaron's point was about ESPN, the network.

Uh, yeah, but I think he was saying he was the only one who was willing to bring it up and talk about it on ESPN. Yeah, but actually here you guys were very, uh, nervous about bringing it up as like— well, yeah, I know. Well, I know, but, but what I'm trying to say is like you guys seemed afraid. You were like— you guys were just watching the whole situation like, uh, like a cuck. You guys were like cucks.

I see, I see. Okay, by the way, we have your trophy for you.

Uh, you can ship it to me. Guys, really, cucks. I don't know why you guys didn't get Cuck of the Year. Maybe next year.

Listen, Jerry, I've been thinking about it. I don't think he's a cuck. I really don't. The thing that kind of pushed me over the edge was when he told us that he, uh, stood in his wife's closet for multiple hours talking to himself because he's scared to talk anywhere else in his house. Not a cuck.

Um, Hank, one last question. Do you think Robert Kraft sent like a, like a Signal message? What, what's like the app that like the sig— that the messages burn? Signal or WhatsApp? The one I use with Adam Schefter when I send dark web shit. Um, do you think he sent, uh, like a message to the 49ers owner? Like, like an emoji? Like a crying laughing emoji or something?

Yeah, maybe like a PR crisis team or something.

Oh yeah, maybe a link to a team.

Okay, you're there, brother.

Oh, that's it with the Patriots. Okay, we're probably gonna have 3 Patriots. Yeah.

Um, I really regret saying how fast we went through the Dolphins.

Yeah, I mean, it was the Dolphins.

Let's move on to the Jets. Um, Memes, what's up? Uh, am I weird to feel really positive about the Jets this season? Is that, is that wrong of me? Am I being tricked again?

No, I think they have— I think they probably have the best quarterback they've had in how long, Memes? Aaron Rodgers got hurt. Zach Wilson sucked. Justin Fields wasn't good.

Aaron Rodgers' second year was—

he was fine.

Yeah, he was okay. But I would maybe take—

I mean, I would say that the Jets have a very good roster, and we'll see about the quarterback. Okay, so then who's average? Then they could be good.

Yeah.

Whose fault was the Raiders last season? Who do we pin that on?

We don't— we don't talk about it.

I don't remember who coached.

We don't talk about who coached the team. We don't talk about who was—

Pete Carroll?

No, no, no, no, no, no.

No, no, no, no.

Why don't we talk about that?

Nah, we don't talk about that.

Can you— I, I don't understand the joke.

No, we just like Pete Carroll. We like Pete Carroll. Uh, he's a very good coach. I think that, uh, you get one mulligan and that year just doesn't exist for him.

So like, I mean, I'm sorry to say this and I'm sorry to make this show political, but is he like the Joe Biden of like coaches? Like out there?

Like, it's like, what?

Like, like, like, what is— what happened last year? Why should I get excited about the Jets this year?

Yeah, if—

because, you know, you were coached by Pete Carroll.

That's it.

Well, it was Chip Kelly.

It was Chip Kelly.

Kelly ruined him. And Geno's a good guy on and off the field. 7 Sunday Heroes. He's a recurring guest on Part of My Take.

You know, I'm so afraid to bring this up, but I live in Calabasas. It's a tony suburb of Los Angeles. Hank, you should come out. We have some golf courses out there and everything. Someone asked me to run for like a city— there was a city council seat. Someone said you should fill it. And I was like, I don't have time. I have the fantasy preview, stuff like that. And they said, um, it's, it's like nothing, just like do it. You have to show up to like 2 meetings a year. And I swear to you, my first thought was someone's gonna dig up me imitating Geno Smith on part of my take, and it's gonna— I'm gonna get canceled and canceled, and it's just not worth it.

Mm-hmm.

Do you know, PFT, I could kill you. When I texted you, I don't feel comfortable doing this, this might be wrong. You were like, no, no, no, it's fine. Do it. Everyone's going to laugh. It's great. Trust me.

Do it. It was awesome.

It was great.

It was great.

In fact, can you just, can you wrap up your Jets preview, but just as Geno Smith?

No, I'm not doing that ever again. But I will say this.

It was so good though.

Bring your cleats.

I'm so sorry.

I want to apologize to everyone. Please don't cancel me. I swear I'm an open-minded, kind individual. I really do. Oh gosh. Breece Hall could be our 4th round pick. I cannot believe he's going as late as the 4th round.

4th.

Uh, Memes, can you tell me why he's going as late as the 4th round? He just seems like such a stud to me.

Jets.

Oh wow.

No, it's, it's, it's fair. I'm not fighting Hank. Why do you think Breece is going as late as the 4th?

Um, groin injury right now.

Okay.

Um, let's move on to Buffalo. Josh Allen, if we do miss on Drake Maye, who's going to break all records, could be our quarterback if he, if he, if he falls to us in the 3rd round. If he's around there, um, he may go earlier than I gotta tell you why I kind of believe in Josh Allen. When I had children, um, I became a good worker. Like, I didn't stop going out. Like, Big Cat, speak on this.

Like, yeah, you, you, you feel, uh, everything goes into perspective. But just hold on a second. You said that if, if we don't get Drake Maye, we'll take Josh Allen. Do you think that Drake Maye is going to go before Josh Allen?

I don't. But if for some reason there's like a run on quarterbacks, right?

Like, I get the run on quarterbacks might slow down. start with Josh Allen.

If we're at the late— I don't know when we're picking, right? If we're in the 3rd or 4th round and Josh Allen is available before Drake Maye, we're obviously taking Josh Allen.

All right, yes, I agree with that. I just wanted to double-check my fantasy expertise.

Um, and Jerry, you haven't, you haven't picked the, uh, the draft order for a league yet. Usually you're in charge of that, and by in charge I mean you just kind of, you just kind of do it.

Yeah, just give us first pick again.

But well, I'm not doing that again because I did it once and And, uh, I know there's a lot of professional athletes on, on that. Yep, on that chain. And, you know, I'm not sure if Geno Smith is— I don't know who the professional athletes are. I just know they're rich professional athletes. And someone kept writing, who the fuck is this guy? Who the fuck is this guy? Because I did it like— sometimes I do things like shirtless, and they were like, who the fuck is this guy? Get this fucking guy off my chain. Like, who the fuck are you? This, this is—

You didn't introduce yourself. You were just like, here's me, a shirtless guy.

And here's your order.

And here's your order. And I'm picking first. Uh, you could forgive them for being like, hey, who is this guy?

CJ McCollum was a great basketball player, by the way. Uh, and that buzzer beater was— I know it was against the Knicks. That was— he did make that shot in time. It was incredible.

Look it up.

Everybody knows that. Anyone who's a Knicks or Hawks fan knows what I'm talking about. Um, has a winery. We should say the McCollum Family Winery. We should give them a plug. Believe it's in, uh, Oregon or Washington in the Pacific Northwest. Um, it does, it does change you being a father though.

Yeah, talking—

getting back to Josh Allen, you know, you're not just worried about like golf, you know, all the time, right?

Absolutely. I, I think there's the bump. The baby bump is real.

Um, you know, just think about like You ever in touch with her, Hank?

Nope.

No contact at all?

No.

You don't think about her?

Nope.

I think about her.

Yeah, we know. We know you do.

What's up, Tiff? Um, let's move on to the AFC North. Um, it's funny, I am sleeping next to Jersey Jerry. Jerry, uh, who just like every night before we go to sleep like leans over and is like, uh, yeah, can you believe he's, uh— people don't know this— Jersey Jerry's a thumb sucker.

Yeah, he is, big time.

And he like takes his thumb out and he goes, you better fucking talk about the Steelers.

Um, well, he wants you to tell you about like deep dark Hollywood shit.

Yeah, he wants to know about the pedophiles, you know.

He keeps asking that. That's so weird.

Any rituals you had to do, Jerry?

Yeah, he keeps asking Like, tell me about some secrets.

Yeah.

I did give him a little bit. I told him about the audition I went on where the gentleman came to the door in just a robe. I did tell him that. He didn't want to hear that at all. I don't want to hear that stuff.

I don't want to hear that.

You can talk about the Steelers, right? I'm very interested in the Steelers. I am interested to see if Coach McCarthy and Aaron Rodgers can reignite their magic. How do we feel about that? There has been about 20 years in between. Um, when they were winning Super Bowls.

I feel good about it, Jerry. I do. I, I think, uh, some of the off-the-field stuff with Aaron Rodgers points in a good direction for like a reuniting. That's kind of been the theme of his past years, you know, mending fences, moving forward, people that used to be close with him. And so I feel like getting back with his old coach, maybe they weren't super happy with each other at the end, but it feels like that's like something that's throughout his entire life. pulling him in that direction. So I, I think this might be the year that the Steelers win a playoff game.

Is it like people who go through like a divorce, like they call up like an ex and it's like just comfortable and they just like, just like feel comfortable with them?

Yeah, they know all the situations. Yeah, I agree.

Yeah.

Do you—

I mean, do you know anybody like that in your life that would call up an ex?

Don't.

Just please don't.

I don't, I don't.

Because I get into so much trouble, you don't even understand. Just, you just don't.

There's multiple ways that could go.

Just don't.

Yeah.

Guys, I'm begging you.

Is that— are we talking everywhere you live? Oh, I was talking— hey, hey, that's me, baby.

Hank, Hank, no.

Hank, Hank, you're You're just lighting me up, Hank. I'm telling you, I'm like, I haven't slept. I'm next to, like, in a room where we can't sleep. I, I, I— Hank, you really—

You wanted me here.

I don't know what I'm supposed to do. You asked him to be there. You can't be upset.

I'm not gonna— I'm not gonna get upset. Hank is not gonna get under my skin.

Um, what about you and exes? Like if you called up like Juliana Rancic.

No one even knows what you're talking about. No one even knows what you're talking about.

It's, uh, we're Team Jerry, by the way.

No one even knows what you're talking about.

Strong and hard Team Jerry.

Um, something interesting is happening in, uh, in Pittsburgh because, um, uh, Pittman is there now. Pittman came from the Colts. So it's a little more difficult. We were kind of high on DK Metcalf, who has a not a great year last, last season. Um, I, I'm leaning more toward drafting Pittman over Metcalf, I, I have to tell you. I just, uh, and, and the thing that really turns me on, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna name some receivers that, that played under the McCarthy-Aaron Rodgers.

Yeah.

Team. Jordy Nelson. Remember these names? Greg Jennings, Donald Driver, Davante Adams. Randall Cobb. Like, is that Pittman-Rogers this next season? Possibly. Uh, we're staying away from their backfield because, uh, Jaylen Warren and Rico Dowdle, who's now on the Steelers, are going to split carries. If you remember, Rico Dowdle got a— took a lot of carries from, from, uh, Chuba. But, um, wow, that, that Aaron Rodgers interview on Can you put your phone down a sec?

Yeah, I was just— I was looking to see where Kenneth Gainwell went because I remember he was no longer on the Steelers. I didn't know what team he was on because he was really good on the Steelers last year. Um, he's a Buck, by the way.

It, uh, wow, Aaron Rodgers really covers it all when he goes on that, on that Pat McAfee show. How about he was calling out Fauci and all that stuff? Like, where do we stand on this podcast? Like, was it a lab or a wet market?

Uh, personally?

Yeah.

Lab.

Lab?

Yeah.

I, I have no idea.

Are you just like afraid to take a stand?

No, I actually have no idea because I've seen so much stuff on both sides and I'm like, probably a lab.

I'm team lab.

What are the chances that it was— I mean, not to get political— what are the chances it was, it was, uh, developed in a lab in Wuhan and then also discovered outside that lab in Wuhan? on and had nothing to do with the lab?

I, I, I, I—

what do you think, Jerry?

Um, I'm gonna go with lab. Yeah, I just think there's just too many coincidences. Hank, where, where do you stand?

Lab.

Lab.

Yeah, sounds like we're all lab.

Yeah, well, PFT didn't really answer. He was like, but it could have been outside the lab. I mean, you're sort of cucking, cucking out right now.

I can pretend to be a scientist and tell you, but I— yeah, common sense would say lab, but I— the truth is I actually don't know.

All right, we're still in the AFC North. The Bengals. Um, you know, it's funny, real problem with the Bengals. Um, first of all, Ja'Marr Chase, as we're recording this, limped off the field yesterday. We hope he's okay.

Um, prayers for Ja'Marr.

No, it's not that serious. Someone's limping off. That was prayers for Damar. Oh, but that was like someone passed away.

Yeah.

Yeah. Briefly.

Well, he didn't really.

Yeah.

He's, you know, I do love Joe Burrow in the sense that he's, he's got Tee Higgins and Ja'Marr Chase as weapons. Like, that's like, that's like fantasy wet dream. But do we believe on this podcast, and we don't, like, we're not negative, do we believe he's going to play all an entire season, an entire Yes, we do.

I do.

I would very much like him to.

Yeah. Well, so would I. We would all like him to.

Yeah.

The league is better when, when, when Joe Burrow is out there all season.

Yep.

But I mean, it just, I, I get so scared drafting any Bengals because they, they do have injuries, especially at the quarterback position. Like Chase Brown in the 3rd round. He's, uh, he's sort of like, uh, just a workhorse, unsung hero in fantasy. Where do we stand on our quarterbacks going to like fashion shows and all that stuff in the offseason?

Oh, like, yeah, he's in Europe, right?

Just Europe a lot. Just high fashion. A lot of like—

I think whatever it is, hair is always changing, always changing. Not for me personally, but whatever it is, it's probably good for your quarterback to have something besides football that he's passionate in, just like get a little break for a little bit. So I think overall good thing.

But I mean, like, take someone like, um, we see footage of like, uh, um, uh, um, Sam Darnold, like just sitting in airports like studying film like in the offseason. Like, uh, like, do you— if you had a franchise, would you want your quarterback—

I'd want them to express themselves however they wanted to.

Okay.

Okay. Well then, in your personal leagues, you can draft Joe Burrow. We're still in the, the AFC North.

So you're saying you're not drafting Joe is what I'm hearing.

I'm—

I, again, I'm open to the universe. If he falls to us in a later round and we don't have a quarterback at that point because we've missed on Josh Allen and Drake Maye, who's going to break all records, uh, then I, I, I would feel a little tingly drafting him, but But listen, this— he could be, he could be QB1. He could get injured.

Okay.

These are things that happen in fantasy. As your fantasy manager, I have to take all these things into account.

You remind us that injuries can happen.

I hadn't thought about it like that.

Hey, what was the shit that you guys were pulling when we were driving out to the airport when you were saying that there's some DraftKings— that there's some DraftKings fantasy guy you were whispering to each other that there's a— Yeah, fantasy specialist.

We're open to the universe here on Pardon My Take, so we are always open to—

So who's the fantasy guy you were saying?

We're not going to say his name because we haven't had him on the show yet. But when DraftKings, if they ask us, hey, we've got this person that is also a partner of ours and we think he'd be a good fit on PMT for a fantasy episode, then we have to, you know, we have to certainly take it into consideration.

Were you whispering to each other? It's like you wanted me to hear that.

No, no, no.

I actually didn't know that you heard until just now.

Jerry, would you like to have more information or less information?

I mean, I guess more information. Yeah, there you go.

So open to the universe.

Let's move on to Baltimore. Lamar, if he falls to us in the 3rd, is always in the mix. Derrick Henry in the 2nd falls to us.

Let me ask you this, Jerry, uh, if, if both Lamar and Josh fall to it—

because that—

you said that same thing about, about those 2 quarterbacks. So it's the 3rd round, it's your pick. Lamar's on the table, Josh is on the table. Who are you taking?

Well, here's the thing, and you obviously know less about fantasy than I do.

That's definitely true.

A draft is a weird, nebulous, moving— it's like, it's like Tiffany Gomez. Like, you can't, like, pin it down. You don't know what mood it's gonna be in, where it's gonna be.

You—

it's like, it's like the— it's like the Bermuda Triangle. Yeah, it's like a chupacabra. Exactly. Um, if We're in the 3rd, late in the 3rd, and Josh Allen is there for some insane reason. We're taking him.

Gotta do it.

Um, if in the 2nd these maniacs we're in this league with start having a run on quarterbacks, you just don't know what's going to happen. I'm just saying I'm open to the universe and I'm going to be definitely live on X. I may be streaming with Zach. I'm gonna let everybody know who's, who's there. Um, we're, we're going to be open to the universe. Derrick Henry, obviously back at Baltimore.

Um, I noticed you didn't answer the question though.

I did answer the question.

Josh or Lamar?

Um, Josh later. Of course I think Josh.

All right.

So, so far we've got Josh over Lamar, Lab over Wet Market, Drake Maye over both. Yeah.

Um, Robert Kraft texting, uh, 49ers owner. Um, there's this X account called Polymark. I don't even know what it is. I just like— my, my X algorithm is just all fantasy football these days. There was some rookie, Jakorey Lane, the, the USC rookie. Everyone's telling me— the X seems to be telling me I should be drafting him. Um, okay, this is really interesting, and Big Cat, you have to answer this for me.

Yeah.

The, the Ravens have a new offensive coordinator who came from the Bears.

Yes.

Why, after the Bears' last great season, would an offensive coordinator leave that situation?

Because Ben Johnson is the offensive coordinator.

Right. So you're saying, I believe it's Declan Doyle is the offensive coordinator?

Yes.

Wanted to call plays and Ben Johnson doesn't allow him to?

Well, no, I think Ben Johnson gives— I mean, he obviously had an important role with the Bears, but I think that Ben Johnson part of— he's, he's even said this because Antoine Randlell called plays in the first preseason game in the second half. He's like, he's gonna— Ben Johnson said he's gonna be a head coach soon.

He—

Ben Johnson, I think, believes that, uh, pumping up your guys, promoting your guys is a good strategy.

Yeah.

Versus being like, oh, we don't want them to leave, we don't want to, you know, trying to block them. He wants his guys to be successful. And ultimately, it's, it does— it's not as much of a ding when Ben Johnson is the offensive guy, right, who's going to be the head coach who's never going to leave.

So, and I'm actually not throwing shade. Yeah, yeah, you're not Hank. Um, Declan Doyle, uh, this was a step up for him going— being an offensive coordinator.

He's gonna have more control.

He's gonna have more—

yeah, because Ben Johnson is— it's like Kyle Shanahan or Sean McVay. Like, the offensive coordinators for the 49ers or the Rams, they are offensive coordinators. They might be calling into the quarterback, but the game plan and, and the offensive philosophies and everything that goes into it is the head coach. So Ben Johnson is kind of the offensive coordinator, and then Declan Doyle now is going to have more on his plate with the Ravens.

No, I just wanted that situation—

Yeah, would you rather have a promotion or not a promotion?

Uh, well, I didn't realize— my only question was, I understand promotions, but going from offensive coordinator to offensive coordinator, some would call that a lateral move. I just wanted to know That's fair. You're saying it's a promotion?

Yeah, it is.

Um, I do want to say I did have a boss once, um, a director named Kenny Leon, who the day he walked in, um, saw the whole cast and the first thing he said was, my job here is to make sure your next job is better than this job.

And that's really what Ben Johnson does.

That really, um—

Did that work out for you?

Uh, like acting-wise, it's been— I'm trying to—

it's been a little like quiet You should be in more movies. Yeah, yeah, I— we believe in you.

I was in a Tubi movie this year.

Yeah, Summer's Last Resort. Yeah, look it up. The girl's name is Summer, which is confusing.

Um, but, uh, but I, I like that philosophy. Um, all right, still in the AFC North. Hank, what's going on with your phone?

Just checking it.

Um, okay, here we are at the Browns. Um, I, I just— I can't, you know. I mean, I mean, Quinshon Judkins, their running back. Uh, I, I just, I just can't. I just can't. I mean, the computers are telling us to draft him if he falls to us, but I just— God, you know what's funny? Um, I don't like getting massages.

Okay.

Why?

Well, that's funny.

You said that, you know, it's funny, and I realized that was funny.

Well, I, I just— I'm not kidding, I don't like getting them. Like, do you guys get massages regularly?

I've had a couple. I, I'm kind of with you.

It's just like, if you get a guy, like, you don't want to be awkward when he has to jerk you off. Well, you don't—

that's what you're gonna say?

No.

Oh, I was gonna say you don't want to be the guy who goes to the front and goes, yes, I'll have a massage. Would you like a man or a woman? You don't want to be like— you don't want to like full Robert Kraft and just be like, yeah, woman. Come on, man.

Um, wait, you're saying you're uncomfortable asking for a woman?

So I just go, uh, I don't care, I don't care, I'm not— that's not important to me, right?

Come on, baby.

It's cuck behavior.

Hank, answer the question.

You're riling me up. I'm about to Rico Bosco on you.

They're asking you. have a preference, but you're too scared to say your preference?

Yeah, I don't want people to think I'm like— I see gender, you know?

Why not?

It's a weird thing for you to not want people to think.

I just—

like someone at a massage parlor, I don't want them to think I'm there for like weird reasons, you know? I think I want them to think I'm just going there to just get a massage.

The more you say it, it does sound like you're there for weird reasons.

Um, But I just don't like getting them, especially like if they just— like you roll the dice and you get the guy, if he's like massaging your inner thigh, like you're like, oh gosh, don't— please don't get erect, don't do it, because then that guy's gonna think I have to finish this.

Wait, Tom Fornelli, I wonder if he's listening. He just sent me this text.

I wonder if you're—

oh, this is a pretty good meme. This is completely—

it's the Arnold Schwarzenegger, uh, Carl Weathers handshake, and, uh, One side is Rebecca Romijn during sex. The other side is me listening to the PMT Fantasy Preview. And in the middle it says, wondering if Jerry O'Connell will ever finish.

Tom just sent me this.

That's literally—

he's not in this room. That's so funny.

That's a funny joke.

That's very— you know which one really stung? Did you have Brooks on, or who, who did you have that went, oh man, Every time he says AFC East, I'm like, oh, I better sit down. It was some professional golfer who came on. It was funny. I think it was Brooks. Um, shout out Brooks. Thanks for being a fan. We're moving to the AFC South.

There's no way.

Brooks is busy closing deals to be in the TGL.

Um, oh, it, it was Max. Yeah, yeah. Apologies to Max. Uh, sorry, there's been a lot of Brooks talk here on this podcast. That's why, uh, my mind was a little foggy. Shout out Max.

I'm—

thanks for tuning into the Fantasy Preview. AFC South, Texans, David Montgomery, who's there now.

Yeah.

Very interesting. And going late. Last time I was drafting, he was going in the 4th and 5th rounds. Very interesting to have. He's going to be a stud. Good, good running back. Let me ask something about your quarterback on your team.

How—

what kind of attitude do you want your quarterback to have? I'm a little worried about CJ Stroud's aura right now.

Yeah.

Like, like, you, you know those videos that they have of quarterbacks coming into training camp and Bryce Young got a little roasted for like having like a, like a Pokémon backpack and sort of shuffling in with his slides?

Yeah.

CJ Stroud was getting roasted the sort of same way. He didn't have like an alpha aura. What, what do you want from your quarterback? Do you want like a nerdy sort of like Andrew Luck? Uh, um, what, what do you look for in your quarterback?

Uh, a person who's good at playing quarterback.

Yep. Want his mom as close to him as possible.

These are good questions.

Okay, what'd you really like him to do is, uh, you'd like him to leave his, his pregnant girlfriend and then start dating a supermodel, and then later on they split up, and then he gets really into leather and Pokémon cards that he can grift on. That's the ideal.

Wow.

With 6 Super Bowls in, in tow. 7, actually.

But yeah, I, I, I, I gotta say it because we're just on that topic, and this isn't even shade at Hank. I'm not even like allowing Hank to bother me emotionally. Those photos that just came out of that dude, hot. No, dude, something's going— it's— something is— something is— I'm just saying something is off. Uh, can we all be in agreement on that?

I would say that when you make an announcement that you're getting into leather pants—

No, it's not even the announcement.

There's—

I've had a pair of leathers afterwards.

I've had a pair of leathers. They do feel pretty empowering, especially if you're going to get a massage and you don't care which gender is massaging you. But I'm saying just the image, the face Yeah. Do— are we in agreement that some— I'm not even gonna talk to Hank here, I'm gonna talk to you guys. Is there something off going on when you look at those photos?

Yeah.

Aren't you like—

yes, when you do—

aren't you questioning what is going on here?

Yeah.

And I'm not gonna get really rude, but something is happening, right?

Something.

Yeah. I got a question, Jerry.

Yeah, sock it to me, Hank.

Is Gucci like a big, big brand? Big— they probably—

probably huge brand. I was actually—

they asked you, hey, Jerry O'Connell, we have I would do it. $1 million. Yeah, I would do it.

I would do it. But let me tell you something, Hank. I've seen images of myself, especially here at Camp Barstool. The— just the image of me and my face wouldn't be jarring. I wouldn't be zooming in saying, what, what is happening here? What is happening?

Isn't that— if you're Gucci, that's what you want. If you're, if you're an advertiser, you're trying to draw people to— draw people I, I wouldn't say everyone is talking about this. We're talking—

I gotta tell you, I know, I know you were talking about it's Gucci. I wasn't zooming in on the leathers. I wasn't zooming in on the shoes. I was zooming in on what is happening. And, and there are 2 people here who are in agreement with me on that. What's going on? I'm not gonna— I don't wanna— I don't wanna get into it because it's actually— yeah, it's actually not okay.

We're all in agreement in what's going on.

Let's get back to the AFC South and the Texans.

So on the CJ Stroud thing, did you see him recalibrating before the game the other day?

Yeah, I did see that.

That might be better. He's recalibrated now.

You know, I don't know what that was. It's gonna be some, like, you know, they hire these trainers and they come up with these crazy things. I don't know if you've ever had a physical therapist where they have you do something, you're like— I hate to sound like Billy Football, but you're just like, dude, get me under a bench and spot me. Like, I don't need to be like touching my fingers counting to 15. It's like, I just, um, I, I, I, I, I don't know. I just have questions about—

Right, what's going on?

I have questions. Uh, all right, that— I'm, I'm talking about the AFC South now and the Texans. Uh, I, I don't have that much confidence in CJ Stroud, you know. I do want a little more swagger from my, from my quarterbacks, you know, like— or be a full nerd, be— go full Andrew Luck. There are nerds in the league, you know. Myles Garrett is like a paleontologist or something, you know. I mean, always a quarterback Hey, Bob Miller is a birder, like your science teacher. He's a birder.

Shut up.

What was his name?

Mr. Maguire.

Mr. Maguire, he's a birder. Bing bong.

We'll get back to Jerry O in a second. He's brought to you by Twisted Tea. It's officially the dog days of summer. Twisted Tea is our go-to for cooling down when it's heating up. When it's hot, you know I'm reaching for something ice cold. Twisted Tea is the perfect drink for lake days, For beach days, for backyard grilling, uh, for campfire days. I cracked open a Twisted Tea last night. Delicious. Nothing like it at summer camp. Twisted Tea is refreshing hard iced tea made with real brewed tea and 5% alcohol. Full flavor, very refreshing, goes down smooth. No carbonation, so it's easy to drink all day long. Whether it's hitting the courts for a round, pre-gaming a ball game, or if you're inviting the guys over for backyard grilling, Twisted Tea is always there to keep the good times rolling. Grab a refreshing Twisted Tea today. And now more Jerry O'Connell.

AFC South, Jaguars. Uh, Etienne is gone. Bashaltutin is—

his name's Achane. Sorry, Achane. That's how you say his name. Mm-hmm.

Thanks for listening.

Yeah, it was the episode maybe where— I think it was the one where Hank farted.

Oh, Bashaltutin. Wait, what are you saying?

Achane, the former running back from the Jaguars who's now in the Saints.

Etienne.

His name is Etienne.

Etienne.

No, is it Etienne?

Etienne.

You're such a fraud. You should have listened to the interview. He's very clear about that.

Yeah, you're not conflating it with Devon?

No, no, we had him on the show, the podcast.

He explained it.

We talked details.

Hey, sometimes I don't listen to the interviews, guys. Like, like, this isn't an interview. This isn't an interview. Hank, I want you to admit right here, when you saw those pictures— hold on a second. I want you to admit right here, when you saw those pictures, you were like, what's going on? Just admit you were a little—

Yeah, I was like, damn, he looks good. What is that suit?

I mean, honestly, Hank, were you saying he looks good, or were you like, what is going on?

Listen, I—

it's not—

he's not the first person, he's not the last person that maybe got a taste of plastic surgery and then has kept it going. And, and, and he thinks he looks good, and to the outside world, he might not look as good. You're in fucking Hollywood. That happens every day.

That's good.

I know, but you don't expect it from a rich guy. Our hero— our heroes, you know what I'm saying? It's a different— it's not Hollywood.

Brad Pitt?

It's not— he hasn't— he doesn't have 8 Super Bowl rings. Uh, my problem— my problem with drafting Bashal Tuten. I'm pronouncing that correctly?

Probably. Yeah.

Was he on the podcast?

Interview him later.

Yeah. Um, is that— and, uh, and you're gonna understand this, Chris Rodriguez is now, uh, uh, on the Jags, and you know he takes a lot of touches. So like, I'm staying away from that, uh, that running back room. Um, in Jacksonville, you getting bored, uh, PFT? You're just sort of leaning back.

Big Cat. His name is Big Cat. I'm PFT.

Big Cat, um, part of my take, could ride with Trevor. Yes, I, I gotta tell you, those, those, those last few games last season, Trevor Lawrence and, uh, and Duvall, uh, uh, head coach, uh, Cohen, um, they were playing some of their best football. I could see, I could see Trevor Lawrence having a great year.

Yeah.

Uh, Parker Washington also, uh, will be someone who were— who's drafting very late. He's a wide receiver. Let's move on to the Colts. What's so funny?

Memes just looked at me, said 1 hour.

It's not 1 hour, dude. It's not. I'm timing on my watch. It's been 45 minutes, Memes. Memes, be honest. How long has it been?

I have the timer right in front of me.

1 hour. 1 hour? Yeah. All right. I, I said I'd do this in, in under 90 minutes. So let's just move on. Colts, of course, Jonathan Taylor, if he's around. Tyler Warren, of course, in the 6th. There's so many good tight ends. I'm not doing thing where I'm saying we're just taking— although I do like Colson Loveland, we'll get to that in a second. Um, I was gonna say Alec Pierce was a steal in the 7th round, but he's— I don't— not sure if he's practiced at all this season, uh, with Michael Pittman being gone. Um, I am amazed, by the way, um, Hard Knocks has been really boring this year. I, I'm sorry to any Seattle fans, but like, it's just It's a boring franchise to see a franchise that's won and they just have a winning sort of way about them and they just do things right and they seem to be— what's the word— functional. It's just annoying, you know.

The rings though.

And you know, because they're shooting it in the summer, it just looks beautiful and there's just bald eagles everywhere and it just looks gorgeous. Um, it's just a boring season, sorry. Um, the only exciting thing was Derek Hall almost sacked Sam Darnold and Coach McDonald yelled at him and then afterwards apologized to him, and I turned it off at that point.

They also signed— they signed, uh, the, the cornerback from Detroit.

I saw that.

Yeah.

Uh, and that was kind of exciting.

Uh, by the way, what's your stance on kidnapping?

Um, I'm not going to talk about that. What is— I will ask you this. I'm going to hit your question with a question. I'm against kidnapping.

Thank you for answering my question.

Uh, what is your stance on drafting players who have have legal troubles, do you think you can sort of change their— change their ways?

Are you talking about in fantasy?

No, I'm talking about— I'm talking about if you were to own a franchise.

Uh, can you change their ways?

Yes.

Can you?

It depends on what their ways are.

Okay, let's just say— I'll pull this just out of—

out of a hat—

kidnapping.

Kidnapping? Um, in the past?

Yeah.

I, I would be more concerned if, like, they shot a couple people at Florida and didn't get in trouble it. That would be a guy I'd say maybe, maybe not.

Um, okay. All right, it's good to know. Um, I can't believe I'm saying this, this is selfish. I would think about the franchise first. I know that's terrible. Before I— before morally I started that, I just— it's football. You have—

yeah, you win games.

That's your job.

You gotta win games. Just win, baby. Um, I can't believe there's not a Netflix show about the Irsay girls. Okay, we really need that. I mean, can you imagine how much fun it would be being married to them? Like, like, we all come home and, you know, with our spouses— well, not Hank, he's single. But like, um, Hank could have gone home with like Tiffany and been like, oh, it's crazy, Mincy ran to second on his boot and then took the boot off. It's crazy.

Talk about your day.

Yeah, just like, Huey's gone. Like, just talk about your day, you know?

Yeah.

Could you imagine being married to the Ursa girls and like, yeah, we gotta— yeah, Pierce hasn't practiced yet. What are we gonna do? We gotta get a receiver in here. Should we take a shot at Deebo?

Probably have a lot of money too.

Could you imagine?

A lot of guitars, a lot of fun.

Um, uh, are we picking up Tyler Boyd, honey? Um, all right, let's move on to the Titans. I got to do this quickly.

Um, you could take as much time.

I'm gonna give you a 1-minute limit. on the Titans. I think that's fair.

Well, no, uh, Carnell Tate, this, uh, this guy, man, it's like he had no drops last— when he was playing in college, no drops.

Great player.

How do you not draft that person? Uh, Tony Pollard is a sneaky number 1 if we need a running back. Um, question, do we think that Coach Daboll is going to help Cam Ward the way he helped Josh Allen, or is he going to help Cam Ward the way he helped Daniel Jones?

Daniel Jones had a, a good season season with him.

Yeah, yeah, as a Giant.

Yes, he did, with Brian Daboll.

Yes.

Uh, then Cam Ward, like, if we— I mean, we're, we're probably drafting Drake, who's gonna break all records, but, um, that's something to look at. So you think Cam Ward is going to show vast improvement?

I want Cam Ward to be good. Yeah, I really do. I think he's a cool guy. I, I think that Brian Daboll is a great coach, and, uh, no seed oil in the team facility. Per, uh, per Robert Saleh.

No seed oil.

Yeah.

Do you have seed oils? Do you eat seed oils?

Oh, what is a seed oil? Like a sesame oil?

I'm still not clear, but it, it would be a great euphemism for cum. Yeah, it's my seed oil.

Sesame— is it something you put on your body or something you put in food?

You eat seed oils.

I, I don't mean to be offensive. Is it a religious thing? No, no, it's just like a health thing.

He thinks it's not good for you. Yeah.

I'll ask if something's cooked in sesame oil. I've heard people say that. Is it cooked in sesame oil? Like at tables in Los Angeles, Hollywood. Let's move to the AFC West. Chargers. Shane, jump in anytime, man, because Mike McDaniels is there and I know you guys are feeling it. You got to just draft Chargers. I mean, just Mike McDaniels is just— remember that Dolphins offense that he had that was like scoring 70 points a few years ago?

It was incredible.

Um, I know—

You're pushing solitaire right now.

I know, I'm playing euchre. Okay, I know. Uh, are you, are you really playing euchre online?

Are you good, Jerry? You like—

I'm practicing on the app. Um, they all said I was playing too slow. They, they said I do things like slowly.

I take my time doing that.

Uh, Ladd McConkey, we're drafting him even though he had a shitty season last year. I know because we drafted him, he only had 6 TDs. Uh, a little trouble drafting a Marion Hampton. The running back, because this Keaton Mitchell— can you tell me about Keaton Mitchell, Shane?

Here, Shane, you can sit in my seat.

No, no, no, don't.

You're staying there.

Um, is he going to vulture any touches? Is he super fast? Is Mike McDaniel gonna do with him what he did with Mostert? He is really fast. He's like a—

I just want to— sorry, step in. Isn't Mike McDaniel— his name's Mike McDaniel?

It's all right, I do that.

It's not McDaniel.

I try to get people—

I do the same thing, Jerry.

Don't let him—

sorry.

Come on, on the show.

Well, he's our expert, right?

Come on. Uh, is, is this gonna be a Mostert-Achane situation that we have with these 2 guys? I don't think so. When, when Keenan Mitchell plays, he's like electric. The only problem is he gets like 40 touches a year, then he's shut down the whole year. Yeah, I'm just worried that we're gonna have that sort of like thunder and lightning Mostert, uh, Achane thing that McDaniel, uh, is, is kind of known for. So that's why— that's my only trepidation about a Marion I want to apologize to this league. I blew all of our free agent money on Gadson last year when he had 2 touchdowns in like the first game and then he didn't have— he had like 1 touchdown for the rest of the year. I do want to say from a fashion sense, we all made fun of him. I have started wearing much shorter cuffs on my pants. It's sort of a style now. Are you guys just all on your phones?

Like what?

I was watching on Netflix. These guys are just all on their phones.

I literally was just moving my mouse. I was moving the thing that I have after this.

No, I'm blasting through this.

I was learning the rules to euchre.

I'm blasting through this.

Broncos texting about synchronized swimming.

Jalen Waddle is now— Jalen Waddle is now a Bronco. Gotta love that. Yes, if he can stay on the field, he's gonna be a wide receiver 1.

Nice.

How bummed is Malik Willis?

Oh my God, you would hate to wake up being Malik Willis.

That would suck.

Um, are you guys making— he's gonna be really into this now.

No, we're into this.

Where the fuck is Waddle?

Till the very next day, waddle waddle.

My only problems with drafting their running backs room is that JK, uh, because PJ Harvey—

JK Robbins. Sorry, Harry Potter.

What do you—

what are your thoughts on her and her stances?

Who stances?

J.K. Rowling.

She's not afraid to ask for the type of masseuse that she wants.

Let's talk about her, Jerry.

Why couldn't you get on that show?

Uh, I, I, I'm about to really get myself on that show. I do think J.K. Rowling's— not Jake, not to be confused with J.K. Dobbins, who should— we should be talking about— I do think she goes a little too in on the trans stuff. It's a little too much.

Oh, okay.

How far in do you think is appropriate?

I just think, like, I think you should let people— like this podcast— just let people live their lives and not, like, go into Like, if a trans woman— yeah, wants to be a— oh, if a trans woman wants to be a woman, let them be a trans woman, you know? Like, you don't have to say you're not a woman.

The accent on that.

Yeah.

Yeah. Um, well, I'm a little concerned about J.K. Dobbins and PJ Harvey just because PJ Harvey had such a great— concerned, like, later in the season.

Concerned. True. That's going to get confusing.

Here's my biggest concern about drafting the Broncos. Okay, I'm gonna name you their first few games, which is why it's going to be difficult, and you do want to win your first 2 games in fantasy. Yeah, their first games are against the Chiefs. Yeah, the Jags, the Rams, the Niners, the Chargers, and the Seahawks. So it's a possibility they are 0-6.

0-6.

Mahomes might not be starting though for the Chiefs, we don't know yet.

Um, wow. Let's move on to the Chiefs. Uh, they obviously have a new running back in Kenneth Walker. A lot of people are excited about him. My only problem is My only problem is Andy Reid. I'm going to read you some stats in the last few years. Kareem Hunt last year only had 600 total yards all season, 700 yards the year before. Pacheco in 2023 had 900 yards. I don't believe Andy Reid relies on the, on the run. No, he doesn't. I know people are going to say Kareem Hunt had only 600 yards last year because Patrick Mahomes was running around and he won't be doing that this season. I'm just, I'm, I'm here to say I'm a little concerned about Kenneth Walker and running game.

Fair concern is always a fair concern.

Yeah. Yeah, at the Chiefs.

Big concern.

Uh, the computers are really telling us to take Rashee. I think we will take him because he's going very late.

Uh, okay.

Um, I'm not sure he's gonna— I don't think he's starting the season. Um, I don't know where you stand on women and what they should— what their roles are in society. I believe women— I, I'm married to a woman who works a lot, and I'm very proud of her. And she's gonna be in Doomsday.

Yeah.

And is currently on Star Trek streaming on Paramount Plus. And I think women should do what they want. I don't believe they should be just at home.

Right.

While that is an important role, I think women should have the choice to— I don't think they should just like constantly— I think they should be free to decide what they want to do.

Right.

Okay, it was brave.

That said, we're drafting Harrison Butker. That 70-yard field goal was incredible. I mean, they can, they can, they can just make it to the 45-yard line and just, just, just tack on 3s.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Uh, Raiders, uh, oh God, I printed this out before we came to Camp Barstow. Let me cross out Ashton Gentry.

He's got a sprained ankle, dude.

Oh yeah, it's just a sprained ankle.

Thanks for Oh, okay.

Um, all right, let me unscratch that. Um, yeah, you know, I said that wherever— I said last season, wherever Clint Kubiak goes, I'm gonna draft everybody because I'm a believer in offensive coordinators becoming head coaches.

Mm-hmm.

Just don't know when. Is there a bet anywhere out there when Fernando Mendoza is going to start? Is it like—

are we—

is there like— I wonder if there's a bet. Is it going to be 4 games in? What do you think?

I'm looking—

I think he's gonna— I think he's gonna start— I think he's gonna start the majority of the Raiders games.

A majority of them?

Yes.

So he comes on week—

Within— so he has to come on week 9 or week 8.

Let's say, uh, um, guess that— whose, whose line is it anyway? Like, which, which game?

6 and a half.

6.

Uh, there was a report 5 days ago that the Raiders might be willing to wait until after the bye, which would be Week 14.

Ooh, you would have lost that bet, big guy.

But that's, that's not confirmed. It's just—

They're willing to wait.

They might be willing to. I don't think they know what they want to do. And honestly, anytime a team says we're going to wait with our first overall quarterback, usually at the very first sign of it not looking good, they're like, I know, fuck it, start Kirk Cousins.

Yeah.

So I, I gotta say, I'm— I just don't feel that confident, uh, drafting an offense run by Kirk Cousins.

Okay. All right.

Oh man, remember when I got roasted on this podcast a few years ago?

Yeah.

Yeah, what, what was I gonna mention, Hank?

When you got roasted on this podcast a few years ago.

But what did I say? What was I gonna bring up?

About Kirk Cousins.

Yeah, what was I gonna say about Kirk Cousins?

You were high on Kirk Cousins and you were dead wrong.

Shut the fuck up, Hank. Um, no, I got roasted because I, uh, I said, uh, I don't like my quarterbacks wearing that, um, that, uh, latex, the silicone ring. Yeah, man, the comments. These, these latex, these silicone ring guys really got on me. They were like, what the fuck is wrong with that?

Big, big fans.

Yeah, I'm a big fan of silicone in its many forms.

But it's just like, let's just say you're a young lady and you go to the gym. Like, you want— like, I'm still— like, I'm married. Like, yeah, yeah, that's what you do it. I mean, I know you don't want to hurt a wedding ring, but like, don't talk to me, don't talk to me, look at this, I got this silicone protector shield.

This is good discourse.

But why would you do it in an NFL game? Like, like, it's like, were you worried about— like, you're just worried? Like, I, I guess because Like, we're redoing the discourse. You want to wear a ring, but are you just worried like Myles Garrett is going to come up and be like, hey man, are you married? Oh, oh, I didn't see the silicone ring.

Sorry, bro.

Yeah, I think, I think it probably has to do with the fact that if you like break your finger and you have a metal ring on, it's probably hard to get.

I understand that, but why not just take the metal ring off? Why do you have to show like the other team?

Wife might be watching.

Yeah, he probably wears—

yeah, you better probably have a silicone ring, man.

Yeah, that's exactly what they sound like.

NFC East. All right, let's go!

How long did, how long did the AFC take?

Sorry, hour 15.

Okay, I'm gonna blast through this. NFC East, uh, Max is not here.

I'm having a great time, I just want you to know.

Max is not here because he's probably—

Hank is having a blast.

Max is not here because he's probably titty fucking somebody on the Tower of Pisa.

Well, I hope it's his wife.

But here's a question for the Eagles. You lose AJ Brown, okay? You now have replaced AJ Brown with Dontavian Wicks and Hollywood Brown.

down.

Okay, Petullo is gone. Poluto— Petullo— Petullo is gone. Now you have Sean Mannion.

How—

Mannion— how is— how is this an— tell me, if you're an Eagles fan, how is this an improvement? How are you looking at this season as an improvement to last season?

Because no more Petullo. That's what they'll say.

That's what they're gonna say.

Yeah, yeah, Petullo was a problem.

Petullo was a problem.

Um, it's so funny. I would have thought that the computers were telling me to draft DeVonta Smith now that AJ is gone, but the computers, after like 3,000 mock drafts, never told me to draft him.

Wow.

So something's going on there.

Yeah.

Um, that new rookie from USC, Makai Lemon, has barely practiced. Wow, a lot of receivers, a lot of rookie receivers out of USC. Um, not worried about Tank taking any carries away. Tank Bigsby, who's there now, taking carries away from Saquon. Um, well, I have a question about Max. He's on his honeymoon. This is kind of gross though, Hank. I'm gonna make you answer this. Do you think he's on his sex vacation? Do you think Max has sex in the morning, or does he think he waits at night after a couple drinks? What do you think?

Well, you were asking Hank, so—

Right after a couple drinks.

Like, so when he gets home, he's like, I'm ready.

All right.

Yeah.

Yeah, let me just take a leak then. Or is it like in the morning, like, I'm gonna brush my teeth, I'll be right back? What do you think he is, morning or night?

Night.

You think he's night? Come on, you gotta answer, Big Cat.

No, you said hang.

You gotta answer. Wet Lab or both? But he's both.

Yeah.

PFT.

I don't know.

I, I don't, I don't like to think about it. You're such a cuck.

Answer the question.

Wait, I'm a cuck for not thinking about My friend having sex.

Okay, I gotta blast through this. This is taking way too long. You guys are stalling.

Probably wake up in the middle of the night.

Yeah, we're stalling you.

Middle of the night?

Wake up!

I'm ready.

I'm ready.

So you got now?

I gotta. I'm ready. I'm ready. Wake up. Wake up.

I'm coming.

Ciao. Um, bellissima, bellissima, bellissima. Titty fucking.

Um.

Um, okay, we're, we're at the Commanders. Um, Mommy, um, the computers do not want us taking Ja'Korey and they don't want us taking Rashad. They're just saying stay away from the running back room. I was very interested in this Creighton Allen rookie that you drafted from Penn State. I wish Max was here. You drafted a rookie, I hope I'm saying this all right, named— did I say Creighton? Not Creighton.

That's a good one.

drug.

Katron, isn't it?

Katron? I'm so sorry, it's not— it's not kratom.

It's not kratom.

Don't do that drug. It's terrible. It's really terrible. Um, it's a drug and it's legal. You can buy it in like just like tobacco stores. Uh, Nancy Pelosi's son was like the head lobbyist for it. Look it up.

Cannons.

Oh, huge. Enormous.

I know. Crazy. You think they're real or fake? Honestly, they're definitely real. Unreal. Um, um, love Scary Terry going in the 6th. Uh, you know who's a steal because he came there late? Stefon Diggs. Um, love him. Loved him on the Pats. Um, and it's gonna be funny, who's gonna draw— who's gonna draw like the, the Caleb Downs? Who's gonna draw— and I'm asking this for PFT— who's gonna draw the the, the Duron Bland, who, who, who draws, who's, who's the, who's the wide receiver 1 at the Commanders right now?

Terry.

So then Diggs is, Diggs is going to be a steal. Um, not drafting Chig, your tight end. He just, I can't get behind it. Why do you think Luke McCaffrey? I heard you say on a podcast, I do listen to your podcast. Why?

Breakout season coming. He's been training with his brother. Uh, this is now, uh, year 3. Last year he looked pretty good till he only had 3 TDs.

So from a fantasy standpoint, that's not like— we got injured.

last year. He was injured for most of the season.

Okay.

So before he got knocked out, he looked good. And I think this year he's now— I think this is now his 3rd year being a wide receiver. He was a quarterback in college. So kind of the Julian Edelman route.

Yeah, I am. Okay. Okay. Okay. I will, I will reconsider my Ladd.

I don't want you— his name's Luke, not Ladd.

Oh, sorry. Sorry, Luke.

I don't want you touching Commanders. this year. I almost want to put you on a— you might be banned from the Commanders.

I told you I'm drafting Stefon Diggs.

Please don't.

It's happening. I think Stefon Diggs is maybe gonna have like a— he could be the wide receiver 1 this season.

Please don't say that, Jared.

Um, I, I do want to say something seriously. I, I do want to, um, because I know my mom will never listen to this, so I can say what I want. My mother growing up was like a, like a drama. I was shrouded— our family was shrouded in drama because of my mother. My mother, everything was dramatic. My brother had some trouble at school and my mother would come in. My mother was one of those moms who would scream at principals, scream at teachers. There was always an argument with neighbors. My mom, I love her. I spend a lot of time with her. We have so much fun. I love her so much. I thank her for everything. thing. Um, hey, get off your phone. I'm like being— I'm talking about my mommy. Um, that said, I sympathize with Jaden. I, I think his mom shrouds him in drama. I think a lot of this comes from his mommy.

It's huge. Yeah.

PFT, do you care to comment on that?

Uh, I've never heard that take before, but it's so crazy, I think I believe it. Yeah.

Yeah, it's, it's, it's tough to— it's tough to get away from that drama.

And, um, I think so, if I'm being real, I think his mom does create a lot of the drama. I don't think that it touches Jayden much at all. I don't think that he sees it. I don't think he spends much time—

You don't think the LSU stuff touched Jayden?

That definitely did. That broke through. But I don't think that he's like on the internet looking at memes all the time. I, I think that he's a relatively offline guy, um, and most of the doesn't get to him, but this is obviously one exception that I think did. Yeah.

Um, do you think Jayden Daniels was in the wrong in that stance that he had?

Yeah, I don't think that it should be that big of a deal. I think he was upset that he got lied to, amongst other things, at LSU, and then the way that they handled it, like taking legal routes on it. Yeah, not, not a good way to do it. I, I agree that that's, that's not what you'd like to see in the offseason.

So it's not that big a deal. It's sort of like the Rabil-Rasini thing. It's not what— whatever.

I don't think that it matters to Jayden on the field at all.

Let's move on to the Giants. Um, Cam Scadaboo, he's not injured, right? Since we've been here. Uh, he will single-handedly allow us to draft 2 wide receivers in the first few rounds, first couple rounds. Um, loving Isaiah Likely. Um, Um, loving Isaiah Likely. So many tight ends.

Yeah. Um, let's try to give him some confidence.

Jackson Dart, if we miss on all quarterbacks, I, I, I don't know.

We can miss on him.

He'll be way, he'll be way at the end. If we, if we need a quarterback toward the end of this draft.

You're saying he's, he's our emergency quarterback?

Yes.

Uh, we may even draft him if he's still around really later on. We don't have to agree with him politically. I got to say, it's a funny thing happening in Los Angeles. I'm in another fantasy league with a bunch of actors.

Wait, what?

And my keeper is Jackson Dart. And they were very upset that because politically they don't align with him, that I kept him and they didn't think I should be allowed to, to, to keep him in my keeper league.

Not coming here, folks.

Are you okay with me keeping Jackson Dart in that keeper league?

Yes, I think you can keep Jackson Dart. Dart.

I just haven't. How much, how much time is this other league taking?

No time at all. I don't even look at it. Well, so you're okay with it?

Told us a little anecdote about—

fuck, you're playing sports, dude.

What do we care? You're okay with ice raids? You're okay with all that?

No, I'm okay with Jaxson Dart playing football.

Well, let's move on to the Cowboys, guys. Do you feel the hype about the Cowboys?

About the second league?

Uh, guys, tell me about the hype you feel on the Cowboys. Are you excited about it because you know they're not going to— they're going to losing the first round of the playoffs, and this is really exciting. But you do feel the hype train there, right?

I do, I do. I'm high on the Cowboys.

Um, uh, gonna stay away from CeeDee because he's going in the first round. It seems a little expensive. And I think, uh, I think Pickens going in that second round is like— that's the value. And he could be the wide receiver 1. I think he— didn't he do something with his contract where he's just on a 1-year? So he's gonna get tagged. It's gonna be, uh, Uh, it's gonna be a lot of fun watching him. The only problem is, uh, Dak is throwing to him, man. How about that Camden Brown? I hope I'm saying his name right. The undrafted rookie who had that one-handed catch. Uh, I, I have an idea for, for Barstool.

Oh good. Yeah, Hank, heads up.

You ready, Hank? Yeah, get ready to hang out. Get ready to text Dave. Romo-Marc Sanchez pop-up.

Okay, love it. Yeah, I mean, love it.

Shout out to our, uh, our buddy Watt, who's, uh, now, uh, yeah, gonna be on CBS. Like, I can't wait for that. JJ. Hey, JJ. Vikings. I root for Kyle. I'm sort of like, it's made me look into Justin Jefferson a little bit more.

Yeah.

Um, I loved your conversation about what happens with JJ McCarthy now. Um, I don't know what happens. I think he's taking this on the chin and doing a good job there. But, uh, uh, Jordan Mason is someone who sort of interests me way later. Let's move on to the NFC South. Atlanta, we can't draft any of them. Who's there? Okay, have they announced their starter in Atlanta?

Just let it go, let it go. Uh, what? I think it's going to be Tua.

Let what go?

No, just— yeah, we're good, we're good. It's good, good Vikings. Yeah, let's go.

Uh, well, I mean, um, okay, okay, you want me to go in on my— I'm just trying to wrap this up a little faster. No, no, to answer your question, I thought Coach O'Connell should have won Coach of the Year last year. The fact that he got them 9 wins— yeah, is a good take— is, is incredible.

All right, Falcons.

Um, oh, you mean I don't have any Bears on here? No, no, no. Oh, wait a minute.

Yeah, now you're figuring out what we were talking about.

Oh no, you know, I'm so sorry, I, uh, I, uh, I, uh, I skipped ahead here.

Yeah, you did. NFC East.

I'm sorry, my pages— Dom, your assistant, uh, Uh, got my pages here. At the, uh, with the Cowboys— my pages got messed up. Uh, with the Cowboys, um, for some reason the computers— wait, wait, I'm back at the Cowboys. I'm sorry, my pages got mixed up.

Vikings, we've moved off the Cowboys.

My pages got mixed up.

You took your finger off the piece.

My pages got mixed up. I'm gonna do this fast. For some reason the computers are telling me not to draft Javonta Williams, who we did have on our team and had like 13 touchdowns last here. I don't know why the computers are not telling me to draft Javonte. I, I'm high on that running game. NFC North, this is going to be long because there's a lot of players here.

We already did the Vikings. I'm so sorry, Vikings are done.

Chicago Bears. Yeah, our whole draft revolves around Colston Loveland. They are in the 4th round.

I like that. I told you, I think he has a chance to be the best.

We are taking Colston Loveland in the 4th round. Okay, so we're probably gonna go wide receiver, wide receiver, running back, or possibly quarterback, running back Colston Loveland in the 4th. Okay, I believe Coach Johnson will do for Colston Loveland what he did for Sam LaPorta just a few years ago. Is Luther Burden healthy?

He will be.

He will be. Then we are also drafting him. DeAndre Swift, I'm very worried with him and Minungai. I hope I'm saying that correctly. Um, in the backfield, I think they sort of— um, Minungai, I'm pronouncing that correctly. Um, I, I think came on last season when, when Swift was injured.

Yep.

Um, I'm also a fan of Caleb. Again, we were talking about quarterbacks and having swagger, painting your nails and standing, standing by yourself. Um, those, those team photos came out. You see his pose?

Yeah, he looked like he was a confident man.

By the way, I was not zooming in and saying— and some would argue that the photos of your quarterback Caleb were more provocative than your former quarterback. Hank, put your phone down. And I was not shocked by the images of Caleb.

No, he looked—

and he was sitting in a pretty provocative manner.

He was.

And I was shocked by the photos of your former quarterback. And you admitted yourself you were shocked as well.

You admitted I did not admit that. I think he looks good.

Tell me about Press Taylor as an offensive coordinator.

He's gonna be good. It's similar to the Declan Doyle conversation. Ben Johnson is still kind of running the show.

Moving on to the Lions, obviously Jahmyr, if we can get him in the first round. Um, uh, because David Montgomery is now on the Texans. Where you going, Big Cat?

He's taking a piss.

I'm gonna, I'm gonna go take a piss too.

Uh, I'll stay, I'll stay here with you, Jerry.

Actually, I'm gonna take a shit.

Should we take a break or should we blast through?

No, no, no, no, no.

Let's go.

Okay. Um, oh, you know what? Hey, uh, let me just say to Big Cat— Big Cat, isn't it crazy that the Lions were in last place in the NFC North last season?

He does, he does agree that's crazy. We've talked about that. I'm high on the Lions.

That's why it's such a tough, uh, tough, tough division. Um, I guess we have to take Jameson Williams to see if he's there. The computers really want us to take him.

Uh, although he had computers—

you keep talking Uh, I do these mock drafts that it's like AI that tells you who you should be targeting in. I've played all different positions, like draft positions.

Okay.

Um, and Jameson Williams is a name that comes up a lot. So the computers, AI thinks that, okay, Jameson Williams is going to have a good year. He didn't have a good year last year, so I'm a little, a little concerned about that. If we miss on Colston Lovedale, Sam, Sam LaPorta, who's coming back from an injury Uh, is a steal. I have a— people who come back from injuries, I think you get sort of a draft value. I know they got Greg Dortch, but that doesn't mean anything.

Yep, I'm high on the Lions.

PFT just left.

Packers.

Uh, I do, uh, I do have an issue with the Lions canceling joint practices. I do think that does not make a team ready for the regular season. Okay, where do we stand on that?

Don't care.

Okay, the Packers, um, The computers must hate domestic violence allegations because they do not like Josh Jacobs, who I'm pretty high on.

Yeah.

Um, but they don't want us drafting him.

You're fine with domestic violence.

Uh, the computers love Christian Watson. I just can't draft him. He just, it just doesn't happen for me. Tucker Kraft is someone who will start on day 1 and hate to tell you is another tight end in our division. Hey, where do we stand on players that wear Guardian caps during the season?

Fine.

You're fine with it?

Yep.

You're, you're okay with it?

I just told you my answer.

Hank, do you think it makes them look, uh, genuinely— PFT, where do you stand on Guardian caps during the season?

You asked us a question, we give you an answer.

You don't like it? No, I'm asking PFT, where do you stand?

Do you think it makes it fine and don't care?

What's the question?

Guardian caps?

If you're a fantasy manager, Furniture.

Yeah.

Would you draft someone who wears a guardian cap all season long?

Yeah, are they good?

Uh, yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

Okay.

Yeah.

You don't think it makes them look slower?

Nope.

Um, some of them look pretty big, but yeah, if they're good, I say draft them.

Okay.

I can't wait for the first kicker to wear a guardian cap.

You heard what I said about the Vikings.

I did. Um, I heard everything.

All right, NFC South. Atlanta, can't draft any of them. Is Tua or Penix the, uh—

I think it's Tua, but we don't know.

You, you, you think it's Tua? I can't even draft nobody.

Kyle Pitts.

Um, there's just no hope there. Um, New Orleans. Uh, so guys, do you ever get questioned by like a government entity that you definitely had, uh, Tyler Shuck as Rookie of the Year? You had a wager on him. Does any gaming people ever say like you can't talk about that? I, I know you're not a partner.

We don't have a vote.

I know you don't have a vote, but you just continually talk about them. Someone would say you are a member.

You ever hear about the First Amendment, Jerry?

Yeah, we don't have a vote, Jerry.

He also didn't win.

He also didn't win.

We're also an hour 30 in.

Um, do we think Kamara will eat into— how do we pronounce his name?

You got this.

A-Chain.

A-Chain. Do we think that Kamara will Uh, eat into Achane's. So we're gonna stay away from that running back room.

Uh, good idea.

Uh, um, how about this?

Oh, say something good about Shock and we can move on.

Um, yeah, it's an interesting team. Uh, I'm sorry, these, these notes are old. Jordan Tyson's injured, is he? No. Yes, he is injured.

He's injured.

Uh, gone for a while, right?

So you don't have updated—

I just, I printed these out days ago and the internet has been— I, I don't know which— I have Jordan Tyson here, but I, I think I recall he's injured. So, all right, I'll get back to that. Uh, normally the Carolina Panthers are moving on in the NFC South. Normally we never talk about them because they're all available on waivers. Uh, I told you that guy in the airport told me to draft Chuba, but we can't. Chuba? Chuba. Apologies. Etienne Chuba. Chuba. Um, we can't draft him because this Jonathan Brooks guy has been all over preseason and he might, uh, Rico Dowdle, uh, Chuba, right? Um, well, I often think of their head coach having to admit like he looked at pornography.

Yeah, yeah.

I want to say he wrote a book.

Have you read his book? Yeah.

I want to say here, I have to admit I look at pornography.

Yeah, same.

Yeah.

Do you look at pornography?

Yeah.

Do you look at pornography?

Yeah, I look at it.

Hank?

I watch it.

Um, we all do.

I mean, why do you have to admit— if somebody— everybody— it's like, yeah, like you have to admit you cheat on your wife.

That's why.

That's—

well, no, it's like cheating and he's like, oh, I'm addicted to sex.

Okay.

I think he just likes sex.

But that's different than saying I am addicted to pornography.

Right.

I mean, right.

Um, if you're addicted to porn Those, those dudes are like looking at porn 19 hours a day, all the time. I don't think that it's possible to be a coach.

Guys, did you hear Rick— I won't say who, his initials are Rico. Did you hear his computer open this morning?

No. Was it—

He opened his laptop.

Wait, was it really?

That's funny.

Hank, we didn't cut that.

Cut.

Ryder.

It's so crazy being a roommate with, with Rico.

Papa, Papa, it's burning!

Papa, no! And then PFT talking to him.

Yeah.

What's going on, Rico? Oh, Papa, no! Oh gosh, why?

You know, I don't—

that makes me uncomfortable.

I don't think he said NFC West, Arizona Cardinals. Go!

Oh, who's gonna be the starter there? Carson?

Jacoby held out. I think they gotta, they gotta start him. They paid him.

Who would you start if you, if you were in charge of that franchise?

Carson Beck would be good in the Hall of Fame game.

So would I. Um, if Jeremiah Love is there, we'll be drafting him. He got paid $50 mil for a reason. Um, I'm not worried that Tyler Allgeier is there now.

Good.

Uh, everyone's really high on McBride. I think his, uh, I think he's just too expensive. You know what's an interesting bet? If Carson Beck is the starter, which he should be, um, you should get on that because their total games bet for the season is— was it like 2.5 or something? 3.5? Take that bet. Like, that's a fun bet.

Is it?

Oh man, do you remember last season when our championship game we had to start Jacoby Brissett. Yeah, yeah, it's tough.

Did we win?

No, came second though. Didn't have to pay that buy-in, which is expensive. The Rams— somehow Davante Adams is going in the 5th round. He single-handedly got us into the finals last year. He had 14 TDs. Uh, we think Puka's gonna get in trouble and suspended.

No, no, we don't. I don't know.

You know what's so funny? I didn't think so either until somebody posted that bite mark. Did you see the bite?

Yeah, no, that was bad. It was really bad.

It was a real bite.

Yeah, no, he really—

like, you have little kids.

Yeah, no, he really—

And kids get in trouble. There's that book, Teeth Are Not for Biting. That was a real bite.

Yeah.

By the way, I don't know—

Son has been bit like 15 times.

You know what's funny? I have Invisalign. You guys know because I'm putting it in and brushing it every morning because we're roommates now. I saw my teeth before the Invisalign, and especially my bottom teeth, they crowd together a little bit. Um, and, uh, now they don't.

Yeah.

But, um, I, I examined his bite, uh, indentation. Very good teeth.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Like very straight teeth.

Every tooth.

Yeah, yeah.

Athletes, a lot of people say they're very symmetrical athletes, like that's why they have— that's why they're so good-looking. Except when they're— something's going on with their face.

Yeah.

And you zoom in and you're like, what is happening here?

That's true.

Sure.

Um, okay.

Uh, Kyren Williams, the computers, he never comes up in the computers. I guess they think that, that, uh, uh, Corum— I hope I'm saying that correctly— is gonna vulture some touches. Uh, but, uh, I, I'm really high on DeVonta. Um, Seattle, boring, uh, boring Hard Knocks season. I really want to apologize to this pod and to this fantasy Jackson Smith-Njigba went in the 3rd round last year, and that's on me.

Disrespectful.

I should have had him.

Um, Defensive Player of the Year. Um, that's what his trophy said, remember?

Right. Um, Jaderian Price. Uh, I don't know if I'm just like getting excited about him because he looks good on Hard Knocks, but—

He was good at Notre Dame.

Um, yeah, he was, and he played behind, uh, Jeremiah Love. Yeah, so So like, we don't really— like, he hasn't really gotten a chance to shine. Um, I don't think Charbonnet will be ready for the opener, so I like Jadarion. Um, yeah, boring Hard Knocks. San Francisco— oh God, uh, is Zach here? Yeah. Hey Zach, is Mike Evans gonna play a full season?

Uh, Mic, Zach.

Microphone quick, because this is taking a little long.

Uh, Jerry, full season? Uh, I don't believe he'll be playing a full season, man.

It's such a bummer because his only comp there is like this, this rookie Stribling and Christian Kirk. It would be so fun to draft him. Yeah, I guess this Stribling guy, I, uh, we gotta look at him.

Wow.

Wow. You know what's funny is friend of the show Florio got really upset about what was reported about that car accident.

Yeah.

And it's still weird, but Florio got angry.

Yeah, he tends to do that. Gets a little Italian.

Florio in your book, uh, part of my book. Yeah, he also was a little angry. He was like— he comes off as angry when you had a sleepover. Is he an angry person?

I don't think he's a—

he's not an angry guy. He's just, uh, he's passionate.

He's Italian.

Um, yeah, he was, uh, angry guy.

Mhm.

Yeah.

Um, what else did I have? I had one other thing here. Um, on the substation?

No.

Uh, George Kittle, of course. I think he's gonna have a good season, but he's— he might miss the first couple weeks.

Yep.

Maybe not.

Um, all right guys, uh, that's it. That's my fantasy.

That was incredible.

That was great.

What was my time? What was my time?

1 hour 40 minutes. That was really— Okay, um, listen, uh, I have one question for you. Numbers?

Um, one?

No, I wasn't gonna ask numbers. You guys are gonna be upset with me for this. I don't think you talked about the Bucs.

Let me make sure.

We all knew he didn't talk about the Bucs.

I may have mixed—

we all knew.

I may have missed it. NFC South. Oh, Tampa. I'm so sorry, I didn't. Uh, uh, Egbuka. I'm saying that correctly?

Yeah.

Uh, I'm really— I'm— am I?

Yeah, you got it.

Yeah, yeah, Amika Egbuka. Uh, very interesting in the second. Um, wow. You know, his, his competition is— I don't even know if Jalen McMillan— was he injured? Is he still— I think he's there. And Chris Godwin, who Is 30. My only, uh, trepidation about the Bucs is, remember Baker played half season with his body being— remember he had to admit his body was numb?

His body's broken.

But his body was numb.

It was broken.

Like, he was— his half of his body was numb.

Yeah.

And I don't think I can watch Jake Browning, uh, for a half a season.

Okay, that's weird because you follow his wife on Instagram.

I do, I do follow his wife on Instagram. Because I, I enjoy his wife's outfits at games. Uh, I think she really— I like people who make an effort, and I like her outfits. And I mean, I'm being very respectful as someone who's also married.

Yeah.

And, uh, yeah, I come on a podcast where guys say that they jerk off to his wife. It's a little awkward.

No one said that.

You guys have said that in the past. Oh, your wife? Yeah, my wife.

Yes, we have said that.

But I want to be respectful. I want to say Jake Browning His— I like that his wife puts in an effort and I like her outfits. All right, um, so I'm sorry I skipped over that and I'm sorry I went—

I missed out on— that was great.

What's the final time? 1:43. All right, all right, brisk one.

I have a Roback question for you.

I have a Roback question. Um, I actually have a Roback poem here. rhoback.com, promo code TAKE, 20% off your first purchase. Q-zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts. roback.com, promo code TAKE. Go right now, roback.com, promo code.

Take.

This is a poem for Maxi on vacation.

Oh, okay, I like this.

Maxi on vacation, Maxi on vacation, Maxi on vacation. We're all here at Camp Barstool, but you aren't. You were out the door. Maxi on vacation, Maxi on vacation, Maxi on vacation. And just so we're keeping tabs This is wedding ceremony number 4? Maxie on vacation, Maxie on vacation, Maxie on vacation. You're gone for 6 whole episodes. You won't be back anytime soon. Maxie on vacation, Maxie on vacation, Maxie on vacation. By the way, who in today's world goes on a 2-week honeymoon?

Ooh.

Maxie on vacation, Maxie on vacation, Maxie on vacation. We hear that all your weddings were beautiful. Your bride looked gorgeous and you looked regal. Maxie on vacation, Maxie on vacation, Maxie on vacation. vacation. And just so you're aware, on your sex vacation, butt sex in Italy is illegal. Sodomy.

Disavow.

Okay.

Maxi on vacation, Maxi on— is that gonna stay, Hank?

Yeah, it's just disgusting.

Maxi on vacation, Maxi on vacation, Maxi on vacation, and congrats on getting LeBron. He's sure to be a showstopper. Maxi on vacation, Maxi on vacation, Maxi on vacation, and after every game, LeBron will be yelling, Get to the choppa. He's gonna live in Long Island City. Maxi on vacation, Maxi on vacation, Maxi on vacation. Yes, for sure LeBron will fit in in Philly with all that classic Philly flow. Maxi on vacation, Maxi on vacation, Maxi on vacation. From cheesesteaks to the Liberty Bell to Philly's most famous landmark, Max's infected toe. It's prone to ingrown toenails. Maxi on vacation, Maxi on vacation, Maxi on vacation. Yes, losing you here at PMT has been a little of a pain. Maxi on vacation, Maxi on vacation, Maxi on vacation. From giving us daily updates on the Eagles and the Phillies to helping Zach correctly spell the word plane. P-L-A-N-E, not a plane, P-L-A-I-N, which is a— yeah, treeless expanse.

Mhm.

Maxi on vacation, Maxi on vacation, Maxi on vacation. Having a big star in Philly, that's nothing new to you, Max.

This isn't your first rodeo.

Maxi on vacation, Maxi on vacation, Maxi on vacation. From Hall and Oates to Big Dom himself, and of course Sal Palantonio.

Mm-hmm, good one.

No Hamas.

Maxi on vacation, Maxi on vacation, Maxi on vacation. Yes, LeBron will have to adjust. Unlike Los Angeles, Philadelphia can get a little rainy. Maxi on vacation, Maxi on vacation, Maxi on vacation. But hopefully the city will treat LeBron better than they treated Devin Cain. Look her up. Maxi on vacation, Maxi on vacation, Maxi on vacation. Why'd you stop at 4 wedding ceremonies? Let's go for 5. Let's just keep on trucking. Maxi on vacation, Maxi on vacation, Maxi on vacation. For we know right now, somewhere on the Italian coast, you're probably just titty fucking. That was a throwback poem.

No, that was good, Jerry. You're the best. I liked it, by the way.

Don't—

you're gonna read the comments. Don't read the comments. I like our back and forth. We pretend that it takes too long, but we do love doing this. Yeah, it's a little, you know, I love every second.

Hank does a really good job acting.

Yeah, we all, we all were like, hey, let's pretend this takes too long and we'll do a little back and forth. We, we remember the writers meeting we went into before this?

Yeah, yeah.

And it was great.

Um, I'm—

let's win the fucking league this year, dude.

I know, that's like—

win the league.

I, I'm, I'm, I'm not joking. I, I need the— I'm gonna, I'm gonna say this to the AWLs on X, the everything app. I am going to— this is going to— we're going to be lockstep. I need the help.

Yep.

I need the help.

Yep.

Uh, I do have to say, Adam Schefter did help me last year. I was considering not starting somebody and starting somebody over somebody, and Adam Schefter did tell me to start this person.

Oh, that was, that was the best, that was the best choice that you made.

I believe it was a tight end.

Yeah, in the finals, and then we lost with the other ones, but he, he told you the correct move to make.

Yes.

Yeah, yeah. So is that Rico thing I said really gonna get cut?

No.

Is—

was there porn?

Was it actually porn, Jerry? Was he—

was he—

I didn't see any What did it sound like?

Do a reenactment.

And then what was Rico's reaction to it?

Quick, quick shutting of the, of the laptop.

Mm-hmm. Guys watch porn, who cares?

What did the porn, alleged porn, sound like?

It sounded like, like, oh yeah, I'll kill you.

Okay, so that actually could have been Rico watching one of his highlights from yesterday. Yeah, he was just Yeah, I actually think that's probably what it was.

Million views.

Yeah, he might have been jerking off to it, but yeah.

Um, all right, Jerry, thank you as always. You're the best. Thank you for coming to Camp Barstool. We love having you here. Uh, and thank you also for everything you wrote in the book. It was very nice.

Oh yeah, yeah, thanks, Jerry.

Yeah, so fun doing the audiobook. That was a really good time.

Yeah, and your chapters were great. Yeah, and, uh, we love having you as well.

I meant every word of it. I'm really proud of you guys. I mean it. It's, it's really fun, and it was fun to have it. Uh, it's, it's fun to have it in a book. Like, yeah, like, um, podcasts are like almost disposable.

Correct.

Um, a book is forever.

Yeah, that's true. Yeah.

All right, great fantasy preview.

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Firefest of the week time.

Hank, what's your Firefest?

Got a couple quick ones. I mean, it's really— it's, it's not really— it's camp, it's camp life. It's just kind of one of the things you deal with with camp. I think I've slept for like 10 hours total.

Uh, you're a little loopy.

Rico Bosco, Zach combo snoring.

Wait, you said Zach wasn't the moaner? Oh no, that was, that was PFT's story.

Um, it wasn't moaning. There was, there was this, the second night, and it's Rico. Rico's really the main culprit. He goes from, which is impressive and I am jealous a little bit, where he's like, we're just chopping it up in the bed, in the bunks, and he goes, all right, I'm going to bed. And, and within 30 seconds, yeah, the loudest and most violent snore coming out of his mouth. And then, you know, within 20 minutes he starts yelling, he starts screaming. Like—

And the worst part— and we love Rico, we're happy he's here, we're riders through and through— the, the part that, that is hard, because I think when someone snores, you can— if it's like a consistent volume and cadence, you can get almost in tune with it. Like, right, whatever, it's almost white noise. Rico snores as if he is Uh, laying on his phone volume up and down when he like keeps like leaning into it. So it'll go up and then it'll go down and then go up and then it'll go like— it just doesn't have any rhyme or reason. And that's what wakes you up.

You think you're done with it for a little bit, right? And then it comes in harder than ever.

Yeah, I was just blasting the white noise next to my— like 4 inches from my, my ears, which is probably not good, but I was like, this is the only way I'm gonna be able to Yeah.

Uh, pretty much every night I've, I've eventually kind of fallen asleep later than usual and then I've woken up in the middle of the night and then I couldn't fall back asleep because it was— so that's, that's been the story of my week. That's neither here nor there. Uh, the second Fyre Fest is we did some, some pictures and, and, you know, listen, some days you're hot, some days you're, you're, you're not. Uh, not everyone can be beautiful all the time. We took some pictures for the, for the book. promo, which are getting, you know, they blasted out when they went on sale. Yeah. Oh no, now they're coming out with the, with the bestseller stuff.

What's the matter?

I'm not, I'm not like— instead of taking blame for, for the ugliness in, in those pictures, I'm just gonna blame Shane.

OK. What did you not like? Because you had—

My eyes really closed.

I, I like that you had a little sauce going on in the back.

Yeah, I've been, I've been doing a little, little sauce in the back, little waviness. There was some bad, there's some bad visual although there's still— I have a bald spot. I might need to go to Turkey. Uh, there were some bad visuals when we were actually doing the Chinese workout days, where the top of my head was a bald spot, so I was like, fuck it, I'm growing my hair out. And I've liked having a little flow.

Um...

But just the— just my face. Just my face and my eyes.

I think Shane did that.

Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

You don't have bad face.

How could you, Shane?

I don't have a great face. Oh, fuck.

How could you, dude?

Well, you don't have bad eyes.

I got good eyes, but they're—

Yeah, good eyes.

I'm a bad poser. I can't take, like—

No one, no male can pose, except Tom Brady.

Yeah, true.

Really good.

Yeah.

Um, I think you—

There's a grease stain on my shirt. Shane could've edited that out.

Wait, you had a stain?

There is.

That's tough.

And I had to turn my shirt inside out, so it just looks like I'm wearing a weirdly green shirt, like a plain green shirt.

thing I think maybe that you need to just come to grips with, Hank, and, and I, I speak for the entire podcast, we're not bad-looking guys. We're not great-looking guys.

That's what I'm saying.

Some days, like, some days you see something like, oh, I don't think I've ever seen myself kind of like, oh shit, I look good.

Zach's hot.

No, no, no. My range when I see a picture is like, my range is like some, like somewhere between a 2.5 and like a 6.5. And I can— if I can be anything over a 4.5, I'm like, that's fine. That's, that's kind of what I'm dealing with when I'm, when I'm looking at pictures of myself. And even if it's a 2.5, I'm like, all right, well, I deserve that because I'm a fucking piece of shit. I was trying to eat 100 cheeseburgers for no, no reason whatsoever.

How many this week?

I've slowed down because of the food.

I, I had—

I thought I had a plug, a chef I'm at 81. The chef on, uh, Wednesday morning came up to me.

You're only at 81?

Shut up. It was, uh, it was like a drug deal. He's like, hey, big cat. And I was like, what's up, man? It was like everyone's getting their eggs and he just slipped me a burger. Oh, Hank, did you have to raise your ass for that?

You started this.

Yeah, I know, but you were farting before the show even started. I've only farted I farted on— on—

I farted out of my heart.

Farted out of my heart.

The feeling of the fart is just deeply unsettling.

I'm actually fine with that one because it's funny.

You guys ever watch a movie in like the, uh, the extra IMAX 4D or whatever? That's what it feels like when Hank farts.

Yeah, the rumble, the rumble strips. Yeah, in your ass.

I'm watching The Odyssey over here. The whirlpool just opened up.

You just have a butt plug on right now? Yeah, I'm fine with the farts when they're on camera. You were farting for like 10 minutes while we were just sitting here.

I was trying to get us a cold open.

Okay. But yeah, the burgers. And then I went and took 2— I don't know if I was allowed to do this, but I think there was burgers for lunch. I missed lunch because we were doing the Yak. So after the Yak, I went into the kitchen and just took 2 burgers. So I had 3 yesterday. So that's good. I need to have one for lunch. That's, that's important. All right.

Any other fire facts?

It's been a fun week.

Yeah. Okay.

I don't know. Yeah, for you, I'm saying.

I feel that you, you will say that in a way that I should have one that I'm not.

I don't have one for you.

No, it's been a good week.

Okay.

I, I don't think that you look bad in the pictures.

No, I don't either. Actually, let me look at the picture.

I think you're your own worst critic.

Let me see this real quick. Jerry, by the way, is so attractive. I took a picture of him yesterday. All right, see, I got lucky in this picture. that we blasted out there because I had my, uh, hands on my chin. And that's usually the real bad spot for me is the fact that I have like 6 chins. Oh yeah, I do see the stain. Oh my God, that's actually 3 stains.

Hank, zoom in on the stain.

The bottom.

Oh yeah, you have cum stains on your shirt.

My dick's not that high up, but yeah.

PFT, you look good. You got your— your facial hair looks good in this.

Yeah, Shane did a great job.

Yeah, Shane fucked me like that. Like how hard?

Oh yeah, you kind of got Butthole eyes.

Well, and it's like lazy eye. Yeah, it's not, it's not like— again, like, I see—

can I make a recommendation?

Yeah, I expect pictures to look bad and sometimes I'm pleasantly surprised. This one was the opposite and I'm like, oh, this is gonna get blasted everywhere. If I were you, thanks Shane, I would start wearing sunglasses all the time.

Yeah, PFD and I look pretty good, like, comparatively to the pictures that we've taken before.

There's been so many worse.

Yeah, my eyes are closed.

That, that— do you guys— the cutout that we have from Pardon My Cheesesteak that sits in the corner of our little sitting spot, that's like a really nice reminder It's a reminder for me every day that you're a fat piece of shit. I look so, so bloated in that picture.

And it's an ad for a cheesesteak too.

Yeah.

That adds some weight.

Yeah.

I'd say then you— an ad for, uh, for a book makes you actually like lose £10.

Yeah. All right, PFT, your Fyre Fest.

Uh, pretty good week. Pretty excited, uh, to, to go on a little excursion with Hank this weekend.

Yeah.

I'm gonna go visit some of his kids out on the West Coast. Uncle, Uncle PFT is coming to town. Very pumped about that. Um, actually, we just brought it up on the screen here. Um, one of my Fyre Fests this week is, uh, is Oldie. Oh, and I love Oldie. I love him so much. He's been the best. Uh, him and I—

His body makes no sense.

We've had some great talks this week, and he's just— he's a delight to be around. He debuted his version of the Max Speedo, uh, yesterday at camp, and when he took it off, I don't know what's happening with the front of his body. I don't get it. I don't know how it's— how it's possible for like—

Someone's gotta do a documentary on his nutsack.

I've never seen this. It's honestly shocking. And more people replied to me saying unfollow than I've ever gotten, I think, for any tweet when I posted this picture. And frankly, I get it. I get it. Maybe I fucked up. Probably should have put that blur on there, like the content warning. His— the front— the front— it's like his legs have a scrotum attached to it. Like, his legs have their own separate scrotums.

I feel like he could actually do the, the South Park GIF where the guy's balls are in a wheelchair. Like, for real. Like, I think his balls are so big he could actually like lift them up and put them in a wheelchair.

Yeah, it's like he's got a— he's got a dick and balls but also a giant pussy too.

Yeah, yeah.

And I don't, I don't really get it.

He's got it all.

Yeah, he truly is the man who has it all, and I love Oldie, uh, and it's been fun hanging out with him, but Jesus Christ, is his crotch strange.

Yeah.

Uh, and then besides that, pretty good week. The only other thing I'll say is like here at camp, I don't know if you've noticed this, but in, in the bathroom situation, um, the toilet— there's a lot of toilets that have like cracks on the porcelain.

Yeah.

Which is a little— it makes you think twice.

Yeah.

Before sitting on them.

Yeah.

Um, so basically whenever I've had to take a poop this week, I've just basically I've been doing a wall sit, like trying to take some of the pressure off the toilet. So I get sore legs from that. Yeah, from doing the wall shits.

Um, all right, my fire fest of the week.

I got 2.

One, the first is, uh, I didn't, I didn't win the, uh, Akron OC job. Very sad. Uh, shout out the guy who did win. I don't know what his name was. Uh, Martin Allen Wims II. So good luck to him. Genuinely good luck. Like, it's, it's not Uh, sucks for the people that thought it was rigged, who, who thought that this was going to be a rigged contest. And ended up being that I actually had 34 entries into it because I bought 18 season tickets and then a bunch of people used me as a referral. They just put my name in as the referral, so I got another, you know, whatever it was, entries. So that's probably why I finished as a finalist.

Mm-hmm.

One of 8, one of 8 finalists. Pretty special stuff.

Yeah.

stuff.

So, uh, Uh, but it is a bummer.

Hang the banner.

Hang the banner. I might actually make a banner. But that— it was pretty special stuff, uh, to, to dream of maybe running Shark Wheel in a real college football game. So that unfortunately won't happen. Then my other Fyre Fest was, um, we— when we became New York Times bestsellers, um, PFT popped a bottle of champagne in, uh, in the mess hall. And I, I was just so uncomfortable because people were like chanting PMT and, and, and cheering for us. And I just— I was in the middle of dinner I felt very uncomfortable about the moment. Um, and, uh, and then Memes made me even more uncomfortable because PFT asked him to do a speech. And Memes, his speech was— to sum it up, he said, uh, thank you all for witnessing Big Cat and PFT. And then he said, you guys all wouldn't be here without them. And I wanted to fucking be anywhere else but right there in that moment.

Memes' speeches are just—

it was Amazing.

So I landed the plane.

So mortifying. I was just like, fuck, man. I was like eating my mashed potatoes and everyone was chanting and clapping for us. Like, get me out of here. And it's not because I'm not like excited about it, but it was just— I just felt uncomfortable. And you made it worse, memes.

Yeah, I got put on the spot. We were— I was just stuffing my face with mashed potatoes.

You all wouldn't be here without them.

It's true.

It is true.

Kill me now. Spot Kill me now.

Can we listen to the speech?

Kill me now. Yeah, I think you have the video, right? Do you have the video?

Uh, I don't. I think PFT posted it on his Instagram.

Yeah, he did. Yeah, 'cause I responded to one guy who was like, Big Cat, too cool for school. I was like, Big Cat, uncomfortable. That was not a too cool for school moment for me. It was, I'm uncomfortable. Oh, no, Shane. Log in. Let's guess his password. Bolt up, bolt up. What was—

Love you, LT21.

Yeah, bolt up. Okay, that was a B-O-L-T-U-P-21 exclamation. He's got it.

All right, let's hear—

oh God, uh, motorcycles. All right, that, that's a motorcycle, that's a motorcycle. Zach, Fyre Festival Oh, he got it. Here, I'll just play it in my phone. Ready for this? We'll just play it on my phone. Shane, we need Max back. Max would have had this up so fast. Is that not a fact?

No.

Yeah, actually, that is not a fact.

Oh my gosh.

All right, here we go.

Shane's birthday. PFT, write this down.

All right, here it is.

Uh, I'd like to thank all of you for witnessing this number one seller of Kit Kat CFD.

Uh, without them, nobody would be here.

Shut up. Shut up.

Oh yeah, we don't really celebrate much, and I thought that this was one thing that probably if we're going to celebrate something, 10 years and—

No, it's nothing. No, it wasn't you. You didn't do anything wrong. It was just more like the moment I was I was just like, oh fuck, like everyone clapping for us. I just felt uncomfortable.

All the different directions this pod could have taken us, correct? This is one that I did not see coming.

Yeah, I'd agree.

So, and it's a, it's a like one of the moments where I have to, I have to make sure to stop and be like, this is cool.

Yeah, no, absolutely. It's, it's definitely a wow, we actually did it. I think it's also like kind of a fucked up thing in my head where we, we knew the— we knew how many we were selling, so it was like not a foregone conclusion, but we were pretty confident that we were gonna get it. So it's— it was— when it happened, I was like, all right, I expected that almost. So, um, you got to kind of like move— remove yourself and say, no, you know what, this is actually really cool, you should be proud of it. Uh, but just, yeah, memes being like, you guys all don't have a life without that.

It's like me—

I meant like the we.

We.

Yeah.

Like, I definitely wouldn't. Also, Shane's from bumfuck.

He wouldn't be here.

Like, Thank you for witnessing them.

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah, no, I hear what you say. Like I said, we kind of expected it. Like, I, I feel the same way about Mount Rushmore right now, finishing not last.

Yeah.

So when I get it, it's not gonna be—

it was interesting. Zach, were you there for the speech?

I was not, sir.

So some may say, I think Gaz even said it, that you were actually— because Zach and Hank weren't there— that maybe PFT was popping the bottle really for Mount Rushmore.

Which I had already done.

Yeah, that's true.

I actually ended up— Tom went out and I asked him to buy me 2 bottles of champagne because of Hank thinking that that's what I was getting the champagne for. Yeah, so we did that.

Yeah.

Okay, Zach.

My favorite fest this week, uh, it is— doesn't need to be said, camp's a great week, beautiful week. We have so much fun, so it's hard to like harp on the negatives. Really quick one, first day, had a good day. Let's hit the showers, let's get it done, let's wash up. Forgot the towel in the cabin, so it was just like I had to get dressed at 100% wet. Yeah, and I don't know why I chose to put my socks on, but yeah, so I went—

Oh, you went full wet socks?

I went full fit because I didn't want to go boxers through the concourse, and it kind of set a tone of damp for the rest of my evening.

Yeah, yeah, it was a—

other than that, great week.

I know you like to get wet.

I'll never forget a towel in any situation ever again.

No other fire facts, Zach?

Oh, no.

What are we thinking, memes?

You forget to trim something.

Oh, no.

Wait, what?

No, there's a bad visual on the...

Oh, that's like guys saying, how do you have back hair and chest hair? I don't know, dude. I'm an adult.

Uh, Zach, I really wanna understand.

If you shave your back...

I don't know what to do.

I knock it down every once in a while, just 'cause it's a lot. So every, like, probably biannually, just... Yeah, take down the back hair, chest hair.

But you're moving—

I don't know, dude, I hit puberty.

Yeah, testosterone's a thing.

I'm not sure how bodies work.

You're moving Armenian.

Yeah, I'm not here to like—

yeah, Zach, I get it reversed because I don't have a, uh, like a ton of, uh, armpit hair or chest hair and everything. Do you shave? It's like, no, dude, I just— I don't know, I didn't. I'm sorry, sorry, I don't have a ton.

Yeah, Jerry's got a little patch though. Jerry's got like a tramp stamp of hair.

Yeah, he does. Jerry's so good looking though. He's so good looking. Um, all right, uh, memes, you got anything?

No, I saw Fasoli's balls.

Yeah, okay.

Yeah, that's about it.

Only good?

Only his balls? Damn, and his dick.

But were they good? Well, I mean, come on, they had to have been okay.

He's Italian. He's an Italian man.

Yeah, all right, fine. mean?

He's Italian.

You know what that means.

Yeah, you know, small dick.

He's Italian.

It works.

All that matters is it works. All right, uh, good show, boys. Great week. Viva! We'll be back in studio on Monday. That was a very fun, uh, week at Camp Barstool. Shout out Mountain Dew. Shout out our good friend Jerry O'Connell. What a, what a fantasy preview. We're ready for— it feels like we're finally—

I'd like to apologize for that too. I, I was— I— we did that early in the morning. I was coming off a 2 I don't think— I was, I was grumpy and yawning.

No, Hank, it was funny.

Was not expecting to be in that.

It was, Hank, it was funny. People, there will definitely be—

Not my best podcast performance.

There will be some, some, some comments being like, they're so mean to Jerry. We fucking love Jerry. We, we have a back and forth with him. He knows the game, we know the game. We love the guy. I've told him, I actually whispered in his ear last night, I love you.

Love him.

He is the best.

Uh, okay, let's spin for lottery ball. 5.

7.

60. 42.

Uh, 99.

You better stop fucking picking 5, Hank.

63.

You know what's good for you.

32.

10 off. Doesn't count anyways.

Doesn't count anyways.

Yeah, but have you guys ever gotten on there? No.

What?

Huh?

This doesn't count. It does count.

No, everything—

Oh, hey, come on, dude, it was on camera.

You're right, you're right, I did say as long as it's on camera. You did get it on camera.

Happy birthday to, uh, Jeff Green. Probably still in the league, right? Probably.

Yeah, Jeff Green, absolutely. He's gonna play forever.

Yeah, Uncle Jeff, never retire. Uh, happy birthday to Sweet Lou Panella, Honey Boo Boo. Happy birthday to the man, Armie Happy birthday. Oh, happy birthday, bro. Look, I really loved your ad campaign with Callaway. And happy birthday to my dear good friend Pat Cassie, the Beeve. Love you, Pat. Happy birthday to Jamal Lewis and Roy Oswald, RIP, and Michael Jackson.

Wait, Roy Oswald's dead?

He might not be dead.

I don't— are you thinking of Roy Halladay?

I did mix him up with Roy Halladay.

I do not think Roy Oswalt is dead.

He's not.

He just threw a perfect game on MLB.

He's not. 2005.

Oh, PFT, you Florio'd that.

I did Florio— what? Yep, I mixed it up. Mixed up my Roys.

You can't do that. You can't do that. You know what?

What an extra happy birthday it is for Roy Oswalt. Another year above ground. Yeah, that's what he'll most be known for this year.

Also, update on, uh, on, on our, uh, group chat for Camp Barstool relay race. Uh, Tate told everyone to meet and said, do not reply to this. And then Minzy said, I'm skipping lunch to mentally prepare for inhaling 2 hot dogs. Anything for the team. And then he was removed from the group chat.

He's skipping lunch to mentally prepare. Mentally prepare.

Mentally prepare. All right, good show.

Love you guys.

Hank, Hank, can you please, please stop?

Like, I can talk. I can talk. Please stop. It's vibrating into my butt.

You're also sitting up with your ass cheek open to the— to the— like, sit with your butt on the chair.

I'm done.

No, you're—

you're sitting, dude.

Can we get Hank a pillow? Can he sit on like a fart pillow so that— I can't— I can't deal with feeling that into my butt. But.