Transcript of Giggling about yachts, sports betting, and self improvement

What's up, gigglers? Gary, fix the WiFi. Manifest that shit. We can't be managed.

I mean, the day just got away from me.

Hello, my gremlin little gigglers.

Wait, I just... Are you ever spacing out? And then all of a sudden... You were just talking, and I was really in deep thought about something else, and I forgot that we were doing the podcast.

So we were two seconds into the pod and you've lost focus.

Well, because when we get on the phone prior and do other things, then I forget.

You're like, humble bragging that we did a little bit of admin. Oh, what ASMR pot is this?

Canada Dry. Shout out to Canada.

Is your tummy okay?

Well, one of my things for 2026 is... Drinking soda. Is I love soda. I love everything about soda. But Coca-Cola, specifically, it's really bad for you. It's so bad.

See, I brought this up to a family member during the holidays. As you do, you're just like, what's the most insane thing I could say to my family member?

Did you go home for the holidays if there was not a soda discussion at some point?

Every family has this- We were talking about, Oh, Coke Zero. You have Coke Zero. So at one point, I said to someone who's fully addicted to drink and diet Coke, and I decided to make the obvious statement. I go, I don't know if that's good for you.

How can I prove I'm better than people in a room full of people?

But he actually made the best point. Actually, it was does.

I was just going to say, Are you talking about your husband? You're like, I'm at a family gathering.

I try to protect him, and I just can't. I can't. So does his thing is Diet Coke? And that's fine. I Let him do his thing. But it was something happened, and we'd been spending too much time together. I said, If you keep drinking that, you're going to die. You're going to die. And you're already about to die. I only have 15 years left, so you're just speeding the process up.

Give the man one thing. Let him have one thing.

I know. But then he outsmarded me because he was like, Oh, if Diet Coke was so bad for you, people would be dropping dead left and right. And I was like, Okay, a good point. I mean, not that Americans are particularly healthy, but if Diet Coke really was killing people, the sole purpose was Diet Coke, people would be dropping like flies.

So when did your Diet Coke campaign come out?

The Diet Coke people were like, I think she promoting it. I don't know if the angle was the best play.

The gigglers are like, Hannah's changed. She stands for nothing. She's a sell-out. Oh, God. No, it's So good. Once I started... I mean, no, it's the same thing as watching a documentary about McDonald's. I'm like, I don't give a fuck. But with Diet Coke, whenever you see those videos of it taking rust off a car, I'm like, Okay, I don't need to have it in my body. But I love it so much. But anyway, so I'm trying to drink like, ginger ale and poppies, and I'm trying to not drink a Diet Coke every day.

I feel like New Year's is weird for you because I feel like every week you have a resolution.

I'm like this all year round. I'm like, My new thing is...

Yeah, you're like, You guys are now trying to think of random shit to improve on. That's all I do. You love a list of just having a- I love self-improvement. Yeah, but I think that self-improvement is toxic. I said it. Okay. Sorry, I'm feeling sassy today.

You want to know what? I can see that side. This is why we're friends. We have healthy debates, healthy discussion.

Yes, we do. Because we've never agreed once.

I can see that side. But one of my pet peeves is wasted potential. If I see someone and I'm like, Oh, my God, if you just listened to me.

Are you talking about me?

If you just listened to your whole life would be different. You'd be so much better. So I try and be self-aware and take my own advice. And I'm like, wow, my life would be so much better if I just cut this out or if I did this or if I did that. But yes, to your point, sometimes I can get too in the weeds.

Well, the reason we're both best friends is because I also hate when people don't fulfill their potential. It's my biggest fucking pet peeve, but I go about it different a way.

Why do we hate that so much?

Because I think we're millennials who are like... I think it's a millennial thing to be like, be the greatest you could be. We were raised on Mulan. You have to save China. Be the greatest.

Well, what is wrong with wanting to be the greatest you can be.

Well, because sometimes it can hinder you. I know that I put a lot of pressure on myself sometimes, and you as well, to the point that we are crippled with anxiety and then can't function. No, I mean, I want to talk.

I'm like, I'm medicated. All my friends, everyone I know is on Zola.

I don't trust a friend who's not medicated. I'm like, You're raw dogging. She can't be trusted. I don't feel peace around her.

When Cierra came home for Thanksgiving, the biggest takeaway from my time spent with my very close friend was that she wanted me to be on more drugs.

She was like, I've seen what I need to see. We need to up a dose.

She was like, Wait a minute.

And she's a nurse. That's a legit opinion.

She was like, I need doses upped with you.

That's a doctor's opinion. Also, shout out to when I first met Cierra. I told her, I said, Welcome to Reality TV. Make sure you have an astrologer, a psychic, and Prozac on call. And she laughed. And I said, That's so funny that you think I'm kidding with you.

Check back in today.

Now she's sending me psychics. This bitch is sending me astrologists, actually. But what I was going to say in terms of fulfilling your potential.

Yeah, I'm like, Where do we start?

If you get in the weeds of obsessing about getting better and you look at too much external things, sometimes you forget. It's right here. It's right here. You actually have it. The happiness, it's you. It's you refinding yourself again. And it's not through all these external things, even though I know you love a laser. You know what it is? You go, If there's not a laser involved, I'm not interested.

I don't know what? I put a lot of pressure on myself, too. But at my literal ripe age of 33, that voice in my head, though, is just my mom. You could be better. You could be doing more. And she doesn't even... She's not even... That's my own...

That's my own thing to work out. From one thing she probably said when you were nine.

No, but I think it is when I do half-ask something, I do have my mom being like, You know you could have done it better in my head. And that version is always right.

Since Because we're getting really deep already, I'm going to say one more thing, mental health moment. Do you know that the people that I'm most jealous of are people who they don't need to be in the arena? They don't need to perform for people. And performing comes in all shapes and forms. I'm not just talking comedy. But they actually just enjoy the world. They just enjoy life as it is. They consume stuff. They have hobbies. And that's all they want, and that's all they need. And they're the only fucking fulfilled people in this planet. I swear to God.

I've met one person like that. So just shout out to those people. Who? I've met one person like that. These types of people also simultaneously don't have anxiety.

I think it's non-neurodivergent people.

The only person I know like this is my brother. My brother, genuinely, I don't think I've ever seen him get upset about anything. Like, literally anything.

Which some people say he should. Some people say he should.

Some people would say he's asleep. No, that's why he's not paying attention. He's actually asleep, and he wasn't listening.

Maybe listen for once. I don't even say whenever I see a brother meme, I think of Gary.

Yeah, everyone should think of Gary. But he genuinely never has anxiety about anything. And I'm like, what is that life?

That was like when my brother, he doesn't... They don't define it. Anxiety. My brother would be like, I just feel really weird today. I'm like, Yeah, you're getting married. You're like a little... He's like, I think I have something on my stomach.

You're like, That's a feeling. It's F-E-E-L-I. N-g.

Can I have another hot take? Yeah. Have you seen the Fuck You trend on TikTok?

No.

It's basically girls, they all say, Fuck you to the camera, and everyone's like, Who said it best? And I don't know, I think it's happening in California. And the girls are all perfect. Girls have never done anything wrong ever. However...

This has not come across my desk.

It's not hitting a New York, Fuck you, because the girls are all like, Fuck you.

Fuck you. You have to go like this. It's a challenge with your own friends. It's multiple people in the video. It's a challenge with your own friends.

Who says the best, fuck you.

Okay, got it.

Now, you earlier were joking and said, Fuck you. And I said, That's how you say, Fuck you. I don't know what it is culturally, but I want to make sure the gigglers, if they ever find themselves in this position, say it the right way. You can't be in a fight and then suddenly drop a mid, Fuck you.

You did immediately take pen to paper when I delivered that, Fuck you. You're like, Let me write I'm going to take this down.

Now, the way I like to do it, I'm going to put it on. I'm going to put it on. Now, by the way, I think I've rarely said, Fuck you. Maybe once in a road rage incident when I was in the back seat and just feeling frisky because you know I'm not driving.

Well, there's so many different situations. I'm When I say, Fuck you, 98% of the time, I'm not mad.

It's to myself. I'm not even... I'm happy. I know we do reality. I didn't say, Fuck you on reality TV. You did. But you did it well. You did it justice. I'm not a big fuck you person because I feel...

Wait, you're not a big... You don't swear in general. You rarely say fucking bitch, asshole.

Where I...

Which is so bad because my mom doesn't swear at all, but my dad...

And that's why I'm Kim's favorite. Yeah, it is. Because she knows I'm a good influence on you. That's why Kim She gets it. Can you give me your best fuck you? You have to get- Well, I have to get like... Are you crying?

You You have to have heart, okay? You have to really think of something in your head and just be like, Fuck you. There has to be an emphasis of why don't you go fuck yourself? Oh, it's so good. You're so good at it. I can't believe I could tell. I threw that out at the party two weeks ago.

Now, not to be obsessed with technique, however, you notice a lot of people say, Fuck you. They go low to high. That's wrong. You saw a page went side to side. She said, Fuck you. Fuck you. The way I like to do it is I like to emphasize the for because you don't have to say for. For is weak. You have to go, Fuck you.

You do.

Fuck, fuck you.

You do put an emphasis on the F. You.

Because these girls are like, Fuck you. Fuck. Fuck you.

You got to put your teeth to your lips. They have to touch. Teeth to lips. Fuck. You need a good F. Fuck you. That was real. That's important.

Fuck you. Oh, that was actually, I don't like it so loud. I want you to actually go loud then soft. Ready? Fuck you.

Fuck you. I got to say my neighbors are going to be like, Is everything okay?

You guys, this is female rage, I feel like I just had three months of therapy.

Wait, speaking of female rage. No. No. So many things. Where do you even start? Where do you even start? I had the most 2016 day. And so last night, I'm like, Okay, I have to get up early tomorrow. I have to go. I have a Daphne meeting all day. I'm going to be at an office from 9: 00 AM to 5: 00 PM.

You're in charge. You could have moved it to 10: 00. Talk to the boss. You're complaining about when you chose to start the meeting.

It literally didn't even run through my brain. So Sunday night, I'm like, I'm going to shower. I'm going to pick out my outfit for the next day at the office. I'm so excited. I'm going to look so cute. I air-dried my hair, so I'm going to curl it in the morning.

You're so cute. I could cry.

I set my alarm for 7: 00 AM. I'm going to wake up. I'm going to do my ice roll, my lymphatic. I'm going to do all my morning stuff. I'm so excited to just be a girl in the morning. So excited for it. Life is I wake up promptly at 5: 00 AM. Okay. Now look, I am no stranger to a vaginal issue, but I'm a UTI girl. That's what I know. It's what I can deal with. I wake up with a raging yeast infection.

I feel like your vagina is just like, Can I have a day? Like your vagina is so over your shit. We're all over it. My DMs are just full of stuff about your vagina.

My vagina is the TikTok sound where it's like, I don't give a red damn.

Why are you so good at that accent?

I spent a lot of time in the south. Anyway, so what was I saying?

You were saying you woke up with a yeast infection. That's what you were saying.

I woke up with a yeast infection, and I'm like, I have no idea how to tackle this. This is not my jurisdiction. I'm in a pickle. I'm a pickle. I have no idea. I'm like, I have to get up in two hours. This is so annoying. I lay back in bed. I'm trying to figure out. I don't have any monostat Because I'm like, I don't have anything.

Yeah, you're cooking bread between your legs.

I have to wait until any store opens to get a Monestat. I wait till 7: 00 AM, get a Monestat, get a yogurt. Because I'm like, I don't freaking know. So then by that time, I'm awake. I couldn't go back to sleep. I'm awake, and I'm like, Fuck it. I can't do my makeup. I'm not crawling my hair. Fuck this outfit. It felt so 2016 page. I have to go to work in the morning, and I have to be corporate. My biggest takeaway from the situation was, as a UTI girl, I'm so much stronger than the yeast infection girls. I'm sorry. What you guys are dealing with is peanuts. I would take a yeast infection every day of my life for the rest of my life than ever get a UTI again.

Can you explain?

First of all, a yeast infection, you literally can order something over the counter from CVS immediately, and all you need is an ice pack. You're good as new. I I did a whole... I put in a full work day today. If that was a UTI, I would have fully taken me out for the whole day.

Oh, my God. You're asking the universe to send you yeast infections instead of... Things are going well in 2026.

Instead of UTIs. I'm rebranding. Get with it.

And next time you guys have a yeast infection and you're being a little bitch about it, say at least-Literally, suck it up.

Suck it up.

Because pain doesn't feel bad for you.

That was child's play.

I just feel like yeast infection needs to be rebranded. It's like there's no way to nicely or glamurously have yeast infection. Uti, I feel like, sounds like science. I'm like, I have UTI. Uti science, yeah. It's a UFO.

Do you want to know what it is? Because I feel like we are of the generation where as children, when boys talked about things that happened to girls, it was immediately deemed as gross. I feel like I remember the first time I heard about a yeast infection, it because a guy fingered a girl and she had a yeast infection. Shut the fuck up, you dweeb. Shut up. You dweeb. Literally. And so I feel we're the generation that changes the stigma around our vaginas.

I do also feel you are so aware of your vagina. Sometimes I forget that she's there. I truly forget when she's there, especially if I've been traveling, I haven't had sex in a while. And next thing I'm like, Oh, time to wake up, babe. Where are you being?

I could pick mine out of a lineup. There she is. There she is. I put her through some shit, but she's okay. She's strong.

She is strong.

She's heart and character.

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I don't know if I told you guys. I might have told you, but we love telling you what happens behind the scenes. And I went on, I did Kelly Clarkson. I did Kelly Clarkson a couple of weeks ago, and everything was going great. Get my period. Like, backstage. And by the way, backstage of a talk show is so scary.

If any guy listened to our podcast for the first time ever, just today, they'd be like, All they do is talk about their vagina.

Their pussy. That's all I talk about. This old girl podcast was talking about their pussy, how much they think men are dumb. And they make these voices for men. It doesn't even make sense. So behind... Okay, long story short, when you're backstage, in your green room, you don't have a bathroom. It's like, go into a hallway. And by the way, I'm with people doing glam. I'm with a photographer. I'm with a stylist. I'm with a manager. So I have to subtly subtly be like, Oh, I'm going to go check on myself. And then it started to flow and I had diarrhea because of...

I love that you whisper. Because of the period. No, we're going to hear it. It's a podcast.

But I didn't want to tell... I was like, Yeah, I'm on my period. But you don't want to be like, I'm on my period with diarrhea. So anyway, I get back, and the girl- One is enough.

The poor stylist, she had to tuck in my shirt and didn't want it to untuck.

So She starts taking these pins and pinning my skirt to my top. In my head, I know I'm about to go to the bathroom 400 more times before I get on stage or whatever they call it. So I keep having to undo. It was a nightmare. And then in the bathroom, I guess it was earlier that day or later that day, something happened and I used a cardboard tampon, which- Wait, you told me this story. I told you. Well, I also posted about it. Did we talk about cardboard tampon?

I feel like we did.

Well, I just want to say, anyone using cardboard tampons, stay strong because that's how true character is built.

No, it really is. I don't use tampons anymore. Yeah, you just do the rosary. You just do the rosary. Not a thing that I do. Not a thing that I care about. What I do care about is... Actually, I have a lot of hot takes to that. Not hot takes. I have pop culture takes.

Let's get into some pop culture.

I'm literally foaming at the mouth.

Pussy to pop culture. Let's go.

Give it to me. If you are someone on the internet that's saying a negative thing towards Alex Earle for going after Tom braided, but you have not said a negative thing about Tom braided going after Alex Earle, I don't align with you. I have nothing in common with you.

Wait, I didn't see anything about... I didn't see any of this.

Because Tom braided and Alex were spotted together in St. Bart's over New Year's, people were up in her comments, and she's a girl... She's Gen Z. They're posting TikToks every single day, real-time. Her true, true fans know what she's doing every single day. And so for her to not post, that's unusual for them.

Yeah.

So when she posted and the pictures were coming out, people were in her comments being like, You're like a... What's it called? Not a cloud chaser, but a cloud chaser. A gold digger? No, you're a social climber and blah, blah, blah, and all this stuff. You just broke up with your boyfriend, blah, blah, blah. Obviously, Alex is the one that broke up with Braxton. She wasn't injured. She didn't need time to heal. She could go get a new... I don't get that whole, I do not get the whole narrative of people being like, You didn't wait long enough. I wasn't injured. I literally do not have an injury. I did not need healing time. I was good to go.

Also, she did not see that man for six months. She was busy dancing.

Obviously, they had broken up way before then. Whatever.

They may have. And also in general, I'm not speaking for anyone, but especially me. By the time I break up with a man, I've already gone through that breakup over the last six months of how I'm going to... You're so done by the time you actually force yourself to be like, I can't do this.

We told you, you didn't do it. Now we're exiting. Sorry, we're smart.

I did see a Controversial TikTok, though. It could be totally made up, but about how her and Tom may have known each other before. Did you see that one? I didn't. Tom braided, to get into sports, played for the Tampa Bay Bucaneers. Now, I'm not super knowledgeable about Florida, but Tampa Bay is close to Miami.

Wait a minute.

Wait a minute. She went to University of Miami.

Wait a minute. You're saying that there is a rumor that they could have been known each other when she was in college?

So when she was in college, she had said on her podcast at some point that she had a relationship with a guy who was 20 years older than her, but never said who he was, and then ended up dating Brax or whatever. So then people are trying to be like, Is this the guy? Because they just seem so familiar with each other. Okay. Got it. I'm just spreading pure gossip.

That's pure gossip. That's pure gossip. We just made that up.

We're literally starting rumors about a 22-year-old Alex I'm so sorry, but I'm just adding color.

I know. I was just so mad for her. I'm like, She's a young girl. She's on vacation with a bunch of her friends. Why would it be her fault for being seen with Tom braided?

Do you want her to stay and cry about a guy named Braxton?

Who gives a shit? He's also fine. It very clearly seems like they had a normal breakup. No one's gone on the internet and talked badly about the other one. What a blessing.

Yeah, good for them. Who cares?

Also, sorry. I just like, if you're Tom braided, what the fuck are you doing? What are you doing? This has took a turn. This has took a turn. The turntables have turned. She is a 25-year-old girl. She's closer to your kid's age than your ex-wife's age. And how people aren't being like, Oh... People are like, Oh, Alex is using him for some type of Fame, he clearly knows who Alex Earle is. If he was a normal 50-year-old guy who is retired and on TV every week, he would be dating low-key. No, he wouldn't be with the number one influencer in the fucking world. So how people aren't saying that about him. He's clout chasing. Obviously, Tom braided is so famous, but I'm sorry, Alex Earle is pretty famous for here and now.

For her demo, they know who she is over Tom braided a bazillion times over.

I just think I'm so over the narrative that men can do whatever they want at any age, and women can't do whatever they want at any age. At any age. She's getting hated on because she's too young.

But the truth is, I'm sorry, if I was 50 years old, I wouldn't want to be at a random party with a DJ with influencers around me. That's just not my idea of a good time. At all. But if that is what brings him joy... She's 25. That's what you do. But by that age, girl...

Some girl said on TikTok, this was weeks ago. This wasn't even pertaining to to this at all. Sometimes I'm on catch a predator, pedophile side of TikTok, and then it gets really intense, and I'm like...

Yeah, you have to get off.

And this girl was saying, As you get older, if you don't find things about the person your age and older, attractive, and you find younger... Sorry, that's a little... That's strange.

Well, that's part of growing up. You used to boys who wear their hair backwards and didn't have a beard when you were 13. Then one day you wake up and you're like, I want a guy who has a chiseled jaw and a beard. It's just part of growing up.

Now I'm like, salt and pepper, gray hair? Fuck, yeah. I'm upset.

I mean, don't get me going. Don't get me going on someone in a nursing home. Get a gray hair guy going. Get a gray hair guy going. Don't make us start that segment.

Don't Make us start that segment.

Don't make us start that segment. But what I was saying is for all the girls out there who are getting older and are worried about guys liking younger girls, I have a theory. The same dudes who are like, 45, hitting on 23-year-olds are the same dudes that are like, I want to go hang out with my guy friends at a strip club and look at girls who don't actually want to fuck me. That's the same category of guy. They're creepy. They're just creepy, misogynistic dudes.

This is a perfect example of this is a situation or a society norm that I think so differently of now that I'm in my 30s than when I was in my 20s. In my 20s, I was like, Yeah, of course. Guys just can live like that. They can marry a 25-year-old when they're 40.

Well, think about what you talk to a 22-year-old about. Snapchat, what are you listening to? I don't know.

And obviously not on the girls' part because because the majority of women are just were emotionally more intelligent.

Yes. But still, under 26, your brain is not fully formed, and that's why it's not cool.

Anyway, my next pop culture thing that I would love to talk about is Timothée Chalamet getting up on the stage, okay? And telling the world that... Well, I didn't love that he was like, it was so corporate, partner and foundation. But the message was there. The message was there. I wanted to be like, Of all the speeches you've given, these are the words you've picked for this one?

Yeah.

I love when a man is like, This is my girlfriend, and I'm obsessed with her, and these are all the reasons. I love it.

Screaming. I love that, too, because it's the elephant in the room. Not that she looks like an elephant at all. She's snatched. But that Kylie Jenner is in the room because Kylie Jenner is richer than a lot of the people in that room.

Kylie Jenner is actually going to buy this event and then host it next year. Fuck you.

But it's also cute of Kylie. She really steps back and lets her man... She wears these just black dresses. She lets him just have his moment. She could come in there and fucking take over if she felt like it. Kim K would be like, sit down on the party. Yeah.

No, I think she seems so supportive and sweet.

And she's letting him have his moment. So for him to then reciprocate like that. Because it is true, you You are in a partnership at that point when you guys are in such a public eye. You have to be a business partnership in a way. Totally. But I like that. Can we discuss Meg Stalter's outfit with Paul Dau? He's from Hags.

A comedic genius.

When they showed up like that, I said, game over. I've seen what I need to see. I didn't have to watch anything else. Also, what's crazy about that is Kylie and him are at the event that you're making fun of them. I love that. That's so iconic.

And I feel like also they are a good couple where they would laugh. You know there's obvious... I think they do. There's definitely Hollywood couples that would be like, That's so rude.

No, that was iconic. The thing with Meg, though, is I think she was trying to make it like, Look at us like we're so silly and goofy, but Meg ate. Meg looked gorgeous. No, she did look so good. Stunning in every way. Her makeup, everything looked incredible.

Did you know that Uber Uber Wrapped?

Grace said something to me about that, and I was like, this didn't come across my desk.

Okay, so Gen Z knows about it because Josephine told me about it. She was like, do you know that they did Uber Wrapped? Let me show you yours.

How could she see yours?

She had to get to. I was like, How do you do it? And she was like...

I just got so scared that it was public. I was like, Oh, my God. Alert the police.

It's on everyone's LinkedIn automatically. What are you talking about? She goes on my phone and gets to where it is and shows me. It's aggressive. It's egregious. It's so attacking. It's one of the best things I've ever seen in my life.

What data?

How many times you... Oh, then it brings you over to Uber Eats. It goes, Now, let's do Uber Eats. How many rides you took? How many different places as you went, how many restaurants you ordered from, and then it pinpoints a clear item that is your favorite that you ordered the majority of. Do you want to guess mine?

This is why I reacted like that. Oh, It's a type of food and it- It's McDonald's.

No, it's not a brand or anything. It's like a thing. Pasta. No.

Okay. Italians are upset.

I was actually a little shocked by it. French fries. No.

Caesar?

No.

No.

I feel like you're going to be like, what?

Chinese.

No.

No, but you ordered that on the phone.

Yeah, I ordered that on the phone.

So it could be. What is it?

A cheeseburger.

I was going to say a cheeseburger, but I thought never have I ever.

I never would have guessed that for myself.

You know that's my favorite food.

But now I'm like, wait, I do be at home.

It's a good source of protein.

Just ordering cheeseburger.

What do you get on it?

I'll It's all different stuff. You can't put me in a box.

What do you dress it with? How do you style your cheeseburger? How do you outfit it?

How do you accessorize that Penny vodka?

I have to look at mine and report back next. You have to look at yours. My thing is I get hyper fixated on meals, so I already could tell you. I'll do the same meal for three months. It's not healthy. No, that's the same.

I order the same cheeseburger from Five Napkin burger all the time. If it works, it works. I'm not I'm inventing the wheel here.

Why would you try a different place as Penal Vodka when you don't want to risk it going bad? Also, when you order from a place so much that when something's slightly different, you're like, You made this wrong.

No. When you get a bat. That will make me not order from a place again. It was horrible.

But even if it's not bad, but it's like, Oh, normally there's three pieces of lettuce, and then you put two this week. Okay, interesting. Wait, can I say one more hot take about Alex Earle? Yeah. It's not really about Alex Earle, but in general, St. Bart, everyone on the yacht. Hot take about yacht. My nightmare.

Really?

A yacht is my biggest phobia. To be stuck on a party in the middle of the ocean that you can't leave. No, thank you. No, thank you. And I know there's rooms in it, but again, you know when you just need to be out of that energy? You're like, I don't want to hear people. I don't want to see people. I don't like my outfit. I don't like who I am with these people. I need to remove myself. I've embarrassed myself. I need to go. That's how I end my parties.

That's how I ended my 20s. I was like, I'm a bad person when I'm around you. I have to go. Normally, Telling people straight to their face when they've made you worse.

I don't feel like my best self in this situation. I want to go. To be on a boat, no. I guess maybe I've also watched too many- Here's the thing.

You've watched so many. I was just going to say, you're not going to get pushed off. Here's what I'll say. When you break it down- I have a yacht connoisseur. Yes, it's our worst nightmare. Being stranded anywhere and not being able to get a and go.

You can't Uber Eats.

Except I feel like yachts are so... What's the word I'm looking for? Big. So exclusive, and it's so... Not everyone just has a yacht. That when you're curating a group of people to go on vacation with, it's a big trip. You want to be around them? I don't know. If me and you went on a yacht-Super rich people freak me out.

Super rich people scare me. For me, I don't know what demonic stuff they're doing. I also... There's men around sometimes. When there's yachts, there's men. I don't know. Imagine your friend's like, Hey, let's go in this guy's yacht. That's how it always starts because women don't need a yacht. No woman has a small dick to be like, I need a yacht.

I was just going to say, do you want to know who loves rich people the most? Rich men?

Other rich men.

I was going to say not as rich men.

Have you ever They're all showing off for each other.

Have you ever... That's why it's so crazy that women get the goal digging stereotype. One of my favorite hobbies is watching men be in a conversation with a man that they want to be or want to be. It usually is people that aren't as rich as the other... It's very fascinating. I'm like, kiss.

Because the men have their own hierarchies. Yeah, they're literally flirting with rich guys.

Men love impressing each other.

Well, it's like when a man meets an athlete and they're just like, I actually hurt my knee, too. No.

Once. Hannah. So we got into a little bit I have a debate. I'm an ally. So I'm going to stand up for what I believe. And I explained to some men, allegedly, I said, Hey, let's do an exercise. Let's think up of a hypothetical situation. And the hypothetical situation is we are at a Broadway play. We're watching... Rees, go with me on this. We're watching a Broadway play. The two stars of the Broadway play, both men. The play is over. They're bowing. They're saying, Oh, my God, we finished the play. Both stars of the play look at each other, and they said, You did a great job. And the other one says, No, you did a great job. And they said, Let's take our shirts off. They proceed to take their shirts off and exchange shirts because they did a good job during the play.

Is this a made-up scenario?

Yes. This is a hypothetical.

I looked at the men and I said, now-Is this season 2 of Heated Rivalry?

What are you explaining? In that situation, wouldn't you say, Wow, that's a little gay, but that's okay, because those are two gay men on Broadway telling each other they did a good job at the play. Now, all of a sudden, if we're at a giant stadium, it's not gay anymore. And let me tell you, I offended people.

My thing is I've never seen the end of a play, two men. That's gay or for a play. Me neither.

It's a hypothesis. No, but I'm saying It's too gay for a play. Because gay men would be like, This is an outfit. Get the fuck away from me.

Game end would be like, I'm switching outfits. It doesn't match my pants. No, 100% valid, which all things go back to the same thing, which is heated rivalry, and I'm trying to move on, but I can't. But yeah, with the odds, I don't like it. Imagine if something happens, imagine if someone's following you.

I don't want to name drop. I I don't want to do this, but I did get a DM from someone on heated rivalry. And my whole life changed after. I saw the follow come in, and I immediately clicked follow back, and then I sent the first DM, and I just said, I'm obsessed with you.

You never send the first DM? Never. I was like, I got to lock this. Wait, so what's the lure?

It was Kip, and I was just obsessed. I'm waiting for your story. I'm logged in on your story. So anyway, it was the best day ever.

Do we need Kip on the pod to get a gay going for our first get a gay going?

We need Kip on the pod.

That might be iconic. Okay, we'll see what we could do administratively to make this work. Wait, I'm obsessed with that.

I was really excited about it.

It is also awkward that they're doing all the award shows, but he'd arrive where he isn't nominated because it's made in Canada. And I'm like, no, I know.

I didn't even think of that. I thought you were going to say because it missed awards season because it just came out.

Wait, no. No, I guess it has to be international or something. I don't know. But, yeah, it's not nominated for anything, which is But we're practically Canadian. No, I know. We touch Canada.

Wait, that makes me so upset.

Yeah, we have to very large of the academy because it's like...

My favorite ever vintage I've ever been to is in Canada. I can't remember the name of it. What's it called? Somebody knows, though. I'll put it in the newsletter, actually. I bought so many things from there.

Wait, can I make fun of Men one more time?

I mean, we built a whole career on it, Hannah. Yes.

Des made me watch True Detective. It's so good. Okay, it's good, but it's for men because there's a scene where Matthew McConaher goes into a bar and there's two strong men, and he says something and then beats them both up and then comes back in the car. I'm sitting there and I go, Oh, that's your guy's version of porn. We watch Red Carpets. You watch Matthew McConaher beat up two men. Because I'm like, By the way, there's no way Matthew McConaher could just walk in and beat up two men who are younger than him and stronger than him. But men love that shit because they think they are Matthew McConaher. They're like, Wouldn't it be sick if I took on two men and beat them up? Also, he didn't even kill them, and they're just laying on the ground. I don't want to be a part of their weird fantasies.

Men love movies if there's a tank in it. Any tank. Any type of tank carrying any... Some type of vessel. They love a movie based on a vessel. They love a- There has to be metal. They love a past war or Or a futuristic war.

Yeah. And they love a mystery that you know the guy is going to solve it. You just know that he's going to solve it, but he has some problems at home. His family is falling apart at home, but he will figure out the murder. And he did cheat on his wife with a very beautiful 19-year-old, and he's dealing with the difficulty.

He's blindsided by his wife who left 17 years ago. No. If I had a nickel... Okay, not only have I dated so many gay men, but if I had a nickel for the amount of men that have said to me, Yeah, I was cheated on in college, and that's why at 34, I just...

No one can get cheated on in college. It's not a thing. No one actually dates in college. It's made up. Dating is not really college. You're welcome.

As an adult, before Honestly, before 30, I don't fucking know you. I literally don't care about you. I never cared. I don't care. Goodbye. College? I don't even remember.

No. Everyone's blackout. Nothing counts in college.

You know what's crazy is, though? That is where the majority, I feel, of people... Well, actually, now in the year 2026, I think there's a statistic that the majority of people get married, whatever the age used to be, it's five years after that age or something. I want to say it's 32 is the average age. But I feel like when we were in college, I feel like there's so many people I know that they met in college and now they're married.

Well, especially if they weren't in a big city. It was like, that's... College is where you meet people. You can't go back to your small town. You've already hooked up with everyone in that town.

I've already told everyone here to fuck off. I can't go back.

No. Also another man who's going through a hard time, which I think is important to me.

We really have to highlight these situations.

We have to highlight male stories. Have you heard of Ryan Lochte? Wait, this is our segment. Men's Stories.

Highlighting male stories.

Today, have you heard? Do you know who Ryan Lochte is?

Of course.

Well, he's the really hot Olympian who had a reading level of a seven-year-old. But everyone was like, We love Ryan Lochte.

He was the gronk of swimming.

Yes. And he couldn't spell his own name.

He was like, fine. He was a good personality. He posted things. Yeah, he bleached his hair.

He bleached his hair. One year everyone's like, This guy's great. He's since gone downhill. But it happens with, not Okay, not to stereotype, but as an Olympian... Olympian athletes, but specifically Olympians, a lot of these sports, it's not sustainable to make money unless you're in the Olympics, which is every four years, and you have to be number one to get sponsorship. So anyway, He falls off. He's now selling his medals.

No. No. Wait, that makes me sad.

So if anyone wants Ryan Loctee's metals-Wait. I feel like another man is going to buy them.

What happened after, though?

I love how... I didn't remember the details of how he got there, but shit went down. He has long hair now, I think.

You're like, All I know is he cupbangs, and it's not good. He's over.

He got his hair.

I do think if- Did he do drugs? Was he married? Did he get a divorce? Did he just jump out of the water after the last medal and just never thought about paying taxes again? What happened?

Good question. Definitely divorce. Okay. Definitely divorce. He did appear on reality TV. That will do it. That'll do it.

He's closed. Crack the code on this one. He'll be better in about 8 to 10 business years.

He also did seek treatment for alcoholism in 2018, which we love. And then he also had a near fatal car crash.

Oh, Jesus.

In 2023. So Ryan Locte has been through it. Prateas and Anthony for him.

Wait, what year would that have been that he was the hot thing? 2010?

Rio was... Oh, okay. It started in 2026. At Rio, he claimed... Sorry, 2016, the Rio Olympics. There was all this drama because he claimed he was robbed at gunpoint. But he wasn't? And there was all this... I guess he... I'm not getting into the details. It was very complicated, but he had an altercation. It didn't go well. And he got sued for foreclosure of his home. I don't know. But there's stuff going on over there. So this shit went down. Basically, look, you guys, I'm going to need help. They need us to support them.

Speaking of the male loneliness epidemic, this girl was talking about... I was just going to say on TV. No, I literally don't say anything on TV. This girl on TikTok was talking about how the men are so good at marketing things. They take all of our stuff.

Like Short King.

And they just remarket it where getting lip filler and Botox, and they call it look-maxing. Going on a diet, they call it biohacking. She was talking about the male loneliness epidemic, and she was like, If there are that many single men, we're single, too. The women are also single, but we're not saying we're lonely. What constitutes loneliness? Just not having sex. She was like, You guys don't have a lonely problem. You have girls that want to sleep with you. That's the problem. Why don't they want to sleep with I love you.

Well, I would say one further that some of them hate women. And that's why we exist, to make sure that it stays that way. Also adding to the male loneliness epidemic, not trying to solve any problems here because we can't, But sports betting, I think, is taking down the men.

Wait.

And no one's talking about it.

Sometimes I have my niche girl things, and I'm like, Guys, just wouldn't get it. And then I forget that there's niche guy things. I had no idea all the men were running home at night and putting their house up for sale. Bro, what? No, no one's talking about it.

Men are out here putting their refrigerators up, just dropping cash. Basically, you can bet on anything. You can bet this guy's going to dribble three times before he shoots a foul shot. You can bet these hockey guys are going to make out after they fight. You can literally bet on it. It's us betting on reality TV being like, Luanne's going to kick Ramona in the shit.

Wait, that's crazy.

Sports betting platforms get these celebs like Kevin Hart and just big cool celebs. It's a drug. It's a literal drug. Also, the house always wins. And also these men are not making enough money to begin with to be betting. I'm sorry. One thing that will piss me off about my husband is you spending your money by betting on other men who were more athletic than you? You weren't good enough to play, and you weren't good enough to win the bet? What do I have to work with here?

Oh, my You're a loser. No. I had no idea it was as big of an epidemic.

Because they don't talk about it with us. But then it's honestly smoking for men. You know I feel like when someone's smoking, it's like, Yeah, it's bad and it's killing us, but we're cool. That's how they feel like, You don't bet, bro. I bet. I'm a bad boy. I'm betting. I'm betting. And they start you off with $100 for free.

I've I've never dated a guy that's bet-liked like that. I've never dated someone that was super into video games. And those are two really big things that I feel like women are complaining about a lot where they're like, It's unhinged behavior.

My one note about Taylor and Travis, who I love, is that I know Travis is addicted to video games in a way. I don't know if he's addicted, but he plays a lot of it. I think he should just be sitting down listening to Taylor play guitar all day. I've messed with guys in College where you go to his dorm room and there's eight guys playing video games. You're sitting there, but you don't know any better. So you're like...

Wait, I've never experienced that. I feel like I missed out on a major part of getting annoyed as a woman, though. You did not miss out on anything. No, but I feel like it built character.

I've done a guy being like, Please come over, please come over, please come over. And then he's playing the gun game with his friends. And I don't want to play because I don't want to play a game that I don't know how to play and I'm not going to win. So I'm like, I'm not going to play. Or they're playing FIFA, and then they're trying to talk to you about it. I'm like, I don't want to hear about your imaginary game of pretending your other men on a field. I don't want to hear about this. But a lot of men get addicted to these things, and a lot of competitive athletes like it.

It's like a staphism.

Well, Andy Murray, who I love, who's a really great tennis player who just retired, is with this gorgeous woman. At the top of his career, she was like, I'm going to divorce him because he's addicted to video games. Because these men, all they want to do is compete.

Okay, but I will say something, and this actually is a little bit in favor of the men. I do feel really bad for a lot of professional athletes, women included. But I do feel really bad for a lot of professional athletes because doing something every single day for your entire life, and then one day, not only can you not do it, you can't do any of it. You have to completely pivot. The mental stress that must be for guys that have played tennis and golf and whatever since they were children to them being like, Okay, go be a real estate agent now. I couldn't imagine.

The girls, it's really fucked up. But I know some of the guys I'd see in college, they were famous. The quarterback at Wisconsin would be on ESPN every weekend, and he'd walk around campus, and everyone was like, He's famous. And this was before they got paid. They didn't get paid when I was there. Nowadays, they get paid. I'm sure there's a lot of men with mental health in this exact situation.

Why don't they talk about it at all?

I think that they're putting them in some rehab programs. It's literally trying to get back into reality, how to be a normal person is what they do.

Okay, dude, not that far off from leaving reality TV. It's like, and this is regular people, normal people that have friends do.

You slowly acclimate to what people are like... I only played till I was 21, but that's why I'm a little weird, because that's all I knew. Socializing was not my number one. Socializing, I was like, I have a tennis match. I feel like you were like, And this is my art form.

When I met you, I was ready to retire. I was like, I was like, I've socialized everywhere. On to every foreign land I've socialized. I've done it all. So that's why I think it's so funny being off somewhere else where they're like, You never got out of bed. And it's like, sorry, because I had a party from 17 years old. I was 10 years into it. I was 10 years in.

I never party. And they're like, Hey, it's 3: 00 AM. Go dance. And I'm like, I'm scared. I don't want to pick me up. I don't like this at all. And that's why I don't want to go on a See, I want to go on a yacht, but just with us. Oh, yeah, for sure. But also I know you. And after six hours, you're going to be like, I want to go home. How long are you staying on this yacht?

You don't know me that well. I love luxury.

You guys, this is our first week. We're doing two episodes, so look out for us. I think it's coming out Friday.

That's what Grace said.

That's what Grace said. We're not in control of this stuff. Set your fucking alarm clock. We don't know when on Friday, though, so just like, we're going to surprise you. We love you guys so much. Thank you for ginkling. Iggling. Bye.