Transcript of Giggling about fainting, dick pills, and weed pens

What's up, gigglers?

Gary, fix your WiFi.

Manifest that shit. We can't be managed.

I mean, the day just got away from me.

What's up, my Galactic gigglers? I'm saying... Do I always say that? Yeah. Okay, because someone run up to me and they were like, What's up, Galactic?

Well, you know what's funny is that's the only word that pops into my head and it's not Giggly Squad coded at all.

It's the only G-word. It's always G-word in the English language. Quote me. It's-quote me. Check it.

I want to bring something up immediately.

This is our first second episode.

Oh, right. Oh, this is our first second episode.

I came with a lot of notes because I was worried we'd forget what to say.

Hannah came with a lot of notes because we hung out yesterday.

Which was such a mistake. By the way, hanging with us is not fun because we will bring something up, start laughing, and then one of us goes, Hold it. Save it for camera. So then Des is sitting there like...

It's also not fun hanging out with us if you're not us.

I thought you could say in general.

Yeah, in general, it's not. Because Des was around, Joe was around, and they were just not speaking. And I was like, I'm performing with my friend right now.

Also, my thing is we're obviously laughing. Just add to the laugh. Just keep laughing with us.

Why don't you participate?

Tag it up.

But anyway, so we're hanging out with Hannah. We're laughing hysterically. And then something happens, and she looks over at a table, and there's a book on the table. And she was, Surely someone has been in here, broken in, stolen your stuff, and rubbed it with other people's things.

There was a Colleen Hoover book sitting on the table, which I know a man's not reading that book.

Here's the thing. Sorry that I want to better myself in 2026, and I just was like, I don't read. I never read. I should read. And sometimes I get put on Book Talk, and a girl was like, This is the best book ever. And the only reason I picked the book I picked is because there's a movie coming out.

This is my question. How much have you actually read it?

No, I just got it. When you saw it, it had just been delivered.

I looked at it, looked up at her, and I looked at you like, I caught you doing crystal meth. I was like, Do you want to talk about this? Does your family know? What double life have you been living? Do I know who you are?

Hannah literally looks at it and goes, What the heck is this?

I got disturbed because everything I know about you, I question now.

I'm like, I didn't know what you were talking about. I was like, Oh, my God, What? And I was like, That's a book.

I don't know. I envisioned if you were to read, it would be a picture book or a pop culture magazine or- A self-help. A self-help. Or as we like to do, we just watch something on Netflix and put close captions, and that's reading.

You want to know what It really boils down to? I haven't felt this. And I love feeling better than people. It's one of my favorite feelings. And I haven't felt that in a while when it comes to movies and books. One of my favorite things to say is, well, I read the book, and I haven't been able to say it in about 15 years. So I was like, oh, I know this movie is coming out. I'm going to read the book so that when I see the movie, I can be like, well, it was a little different from the book.

Actually, people who say that are so fucking smart. But I'm that person, when they always go, Oh, have you read the book? You have a couple of options. You can just say yes and lie and pray they don't have a follow-up question, or you say no, and then they explain the book to you, which you don't want either, or you do what I do, and I go, Skimmed.

I saw the first couple of- The last time I've legitimately been able to say, Yeah, I read the book, was The Bridge to Tarabethia in 2007.

I didn't say when I was younger, I was an avid reader.

And my mom read it to me. Everyone's like, What's the second episode going to be?

The cool thing now, it's a peer, I think, for celebrities who are really good-looking and want respect. You know how Nickelodeon kids will do a slutty movie to be like, I'm an adult now.

What is that?

It's rebranding, baby. Rebranding 101.

Why are people so mad when-When people grow up? Yeah. Sabrina Carpenter, I feel, is a really good example where she's like, I'm not on the Disney channel anymore.

Also, people don't choose where they start. Just because you start somewhere because that's your opportunity doesn't mean it should be engraved in your-People are putting people in a box. Exactly. There's all these hot girls recently that are launching book clubs to show that they can read. I love it. One of them, Kyah Gerber. Another one, Olivia Ponton. All gorgeous, stunning models who were like, By the way, join my book club. And you're like, Oh, she's multidimensional. Are they meeting?

Or this is on the internet?

Let's be honest, I've never clicked into a book club. Right.

So you don't know the actual logistics of it.

And the logistics stress me out. So I'm not sure.

Maybe I'll join Kyah Gerber's book club. You never know.

Or maybe we're not doing a Giggly Book Club. We don't have the bandwidth.

That's Actually, then I've really lost the plot.

Actually, my mom, who's retired right now, has a book club. Actually, she has a knitting club and another club. She said, Knitting is the best gossip. She gets there, all they do is gossip. And she couldn't go the last week, and she's like, I have so much to be- She's so behind. She's so behind on the gossip.

Wait, speaking of clubs, have you seen the Ashley Tisdale Cut article?

That was the book I wanted to read this week, the Cut article. That was the book I wanted to read. The Cut has such small font. It intimidates me. Did you read the article?

I didn't read.

I skimmed. I skimmed up.

I skimmed the article. I didn't read the full article, but I read a thing that did a synopsis of it. It was basically like Ashley didn't say any names. She basically said how she felt after having a baby and then joining a mom club and how it eventually turned into-Was it a club or just a friend group? It was like a friend group. Look, I'm not fully abreast. I don't know what moms are up to. Mom club situation, but I know that that is a real thing now.

Did you have to get haze to get in?

People will have Facebook groups in their area, and it's like, If you live in this neighborhood, this is the group. And then you can ask the Mom's Different Stuff. It sounds good in theory, but in reality... Yeah, a friend group. This is why we only have each other as friends. A friend group is so intense because there's just so many different personalities. Add in your hormonal. You just had a baby.

You hate your husband.

You probably hate your husband. So she writes this article, which actually I thought is cool of the cut to have different celebrities write-I love an op-up. I think that's fun. So she writes this article. She basically does not say anyone's name. She does not say the main reason why she left. She puts it all on herself, that she didn't feel included. There were certain situations where she felt left out.

I didn't feel included as saying I was bullied.

Yes.

This is our knitting club right now. Hillary Duff's husband.

First of all, nobody's talking about the fact that we're talking about a feud between Ashley Tisdale, Sharpey Evans, and Hilary Duff, Lizzie McGuire. I don't think we're putting enough emphasis on that.

Also, I didn't know Hilary Duff had a husband.

She has a husband. She has.

Yes.

She has a husband. A huge Hilary Duff fan. Love her. Love. I really love her stuff.

She had a song come out. Let's go.

Love her work. I do think, and I feel the same way with reality TV when the ladies get into fights, anytime a husband jumps in, I'm always like, No. No. No. No, it's not your... You don't need to- Do you envision that he was talking to Hillary about it?

I was like, I'm just going to post it. Yeah, and maybe she felt a little hurt, and then he felt like, well, I'm going to get I don't want to get involved.

He basically posted a comment that was since deleted, but people obviously screenshotted it, saying that Ashley Tisdale is a narcissist, self-centered, and that she was the problem. But Mandy Moore was in this group. There was one other famous person.

The blonde, Megan Treanor.

Megan Treanor, yes. Look at us. I'm like, Wait, what was this Mom Club like, though? What did you guys talk about before it failed?

Okay, I have multiple thoughts. First of all, do you think Ashley got really hurt? And she was like, Maybe other moms will-Relate to this. Relate and feel less alone.

Other moms have left mom groups. Yes.

But I guess at that level, you posting something and not naming names-People know. Look.

People know.

People know. We may not know, but they know. It was enough to cause a kerfuffle in the community.

Ashley writing the article- I have to read the article. She knew what she was doing. Yeah. And I don't think it was a bad thing. She's hurt. She was hurt, and she wanted to express that she was hurt.

Okay, you know what this needs? A reunion. You can host it. Let's get the girls together, and let's talk it out like adults.

You know what it means? You know what? Rather than reunions, I think we should start doing, and we'll bring this up to Hulu or Netflix or anyone who's interested. We should start doing more of a Judge Judy thing.

Okay, that's crazy. You brought that up because you know how people always DM us with issues and stuff? I'd love to bring it on and they're fighting and we will pick sides.

After you said on the pod the other day, if you're going to DM Page about your boyfriend, it's done. I got so many DM's like, Okay, I know I shouldn't be doing this, but just this one situation, what do you think? And I'm like, Leave him.

I feel like you were Judge Judy in another life.

Yeah, Yeah. I used to watch Judge Judy all the time with my grandma.

And when you stayed home from school?

I was just like, This is what you got to it.

By the way, back to my mom's Book Club. She said it's the funniest thing ever because they all drink during it.

So you read the book and then you go to someone's house and you talk about the book.

And you have a month. It's once a month. You have a month, and different people choose the book. So she'll be like, Oh, this month we're reading this. But now there's characters in this Book Club.

Are there any times where you didn't read it That's the thing.

I'm not going to name names, but you know who you are. Okay, I'm already done. One of the moms is just there for the alcohol, but it is at her house, so everyone lets it go. Yeah, they're like, She hosts. She hosts. But then every now and then she gets a little too drunk and starts getting into opinions of the book, and they're like, We know you didn't read it. You've never read a book. And she's like, But I disagree with your opinion.

A classic 10th grade page.

And you know what? Guess who's the most fun? She is. She is. But her husband- Giggly Squad is built on having opinions with no knowledge. Actually, people have asked me opinions on how to do reality TV, and I was like, You just have to have a strong opinion, whether you care or not. That's how you're successful. Just get an opinion and lean into it, even if you're wrong.

Even people asking advice on podcasting. I'm like, I don't know what other people do, but I know that what we do-We will fight to the death. Should not be suggested.

So this book club, her husband reads everything and loves it, and it's at their house. But she's drinking. This is couples. Oh, couples. So they all come- Are your parents swingers? It's giving, swinging season. It's middle of the day, too. And all these couples come together, and they've read the book. And my mom, she's a teacher. She's an avid reader. She's read it. She has an analysis. She's marked pages. My dad tries to. He always falls. Every month, he says, I'm going to read it. He falls off, which like many of us, it's where I get it from. So, yeah, book clubs. Clubs, I think, are back. Bring clubs back.

Just trying to wrap my brain on what fucking club I would ever join at the ripe age of 33. There's not a single club you could get me into right now.

Actually, you're right. When I was younger, I did love a volleyball club for socializing.

Yeah. You've been really going to Pilates classes, though, and I feel like you have friends there. You know whatever Whatever place you go to, you know people there.

Let's just say when I walk in- You're in a workout club. When I walk in, I get the- You get a nod. I get a nod. And then someone's a little like, I'm like, Yeah, the bathroom's over there. I know what's going on. But I have to say I did faint in my last Pilates class. No one knows because we're never telling them.

Please tell this story because it's so me. When you told me this story, I was shocked.

Also, I think I hadn't eaten. When I say I hadn't eaten, I think I just had one breakfast. I think it was around lunchtime. All I had was a burrito.

I had a. Then I had some French toast. You had breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

I had breakfast, lunch, dinner, and I showed up, but was feeling hungry, but I was like, I could do this. And the teacher was tough.

So it's a regular Pilates class, or is it a Pilates fusion?

Okay, I've never done this kind. You know where there's the second machine? It's called the octagon or something. It's called the guillotine. And it has fur.

The one that has the bar thing. The fur things for your-Fur handcuffs.

I was just like, I'm about to get fucked up. I knew it.

It's sponsored by UGG Australia.

This is how I knew I was going to get fucked up because the teacher was gorgeous, skinny, and pregnant.

I would have walked out. The motivation just inside that woman's pinky, I could never relate.

She had two abs above her belly, and she looked at me and I said, You're about to be disgusted by what's going to happen.

She was like, And how far along are you? And I was like, It was just a burrito. Wait, imagine you accidentally go to a Lamaze Pilates class.

What is that?

I mean, I made that up. But like, LaMaze is when you go and learn how to breathe when you give birth.

Oh, yes.

I'm sure there's somewhere in California, they have like, Pilates/LaMaze.

You just know. And also she was nine months. And she was just standing there. And it was her fourth class of the day, and she's like, Good morning. How are you?

Her leg's by her head. And she's like, How are you? She's stretching. Take a seat anywhere.

She was gorgeous to the point that I was going to ask her what mascara she used. And I looked and I'm like, Oh, that's just her natural lashes. So we start. And I was like...

Our class, 45 minutes.

50 minutes. Yeah. And I wanted her to be proud of me. You know some instructors, you're like, whatever. They think I suck. I don't care. For whatever reason, I wanted her to be proud of me, and I wanted her. I mean, she literally should be at home with her baby, and she's with me. There was another girl in the class. It was supposed to be a full class, just two girls. So, yeah, it got intense.

You had a private Pilates class with a pregnant lady.

The pregnant lady was the instructor. And then the other girl was like, perfect. Okay. And me.

. Wait, When you told me the story the other day, you made it seem like you were in a big class and no one saw you slip out to go pass out. I didn't realize it was you and another person. Were you just like, Sorry, I have to go faint alone somewhere?

Okay, so the first 30 minutes you do at the guillotine, and I did okay, and I was feeling myself got a little cocky. Go to the second machine. And there's this thing called pikes. If you don't know what a pike is, it's a plank that then you bring your butt up in the air like a triangle, and your head down. We just kept doing pikes to the point where I was like, This is how I die.

The blood is rushing to your head.

The blood is rushing to my head. I think I was shaking my head. Then we get up and we have to put our leg on this wooden... The contraptions are being... I was like, What sick fuck invented this?

It's a guy, invented Pilates. Joe?

Joseph?

Yeah. So it's this- Is that his name, Joseph Pilates?

Joseph Pilates. He's Italian. No, I'm just kidding. Joey Pilates. So it's this wooden thing. Have you ever seen that swivels? So you have to put your foot on this thing that swivels and then put your leg on the machine and try to keep your foot from swiveling. That threw me into a tailspin. I felt really out of control. The next thing you know, I started to get light And by the way, it's me and one other girl. And also it was the thing where you want to do it right, but you literally can't. And the instructor is lifting. I'm like, I know what I should be doing. I literally can't do this right now. So I'm like...

Also, once one body part starts shaking, you're like, and I'm done for it. I can't undo that.

Also, body parts are shaking that aren't even working hard. So I'm fully like a baby deer just trying to do this exercise. And then I think I scared myself because I was like, I'm scared. And then I got light headed. And then I started having a mini panic attack.

Because you're scared you're going to pass out.

Yeah. And then you know when you're watching yourself have a panic attack, looking around You're like, no one's noticing that inside I'm dying.

No, there's some... Did your vision go? That's always my first indication.

It all was like, wow, wow, wow. So in that moment, I had a bunch of different voices. I said, Hannah, suck it up. You're doing Pilates. A pregnant lady is bossing around. You could do this. Then a part of me was like, call 911. Call the police.

You just start smiling like Lenore. You're like, it hurts less if you smile.

Do you know what I actually did? Now I remember because I blacked it out. I started just messing with my socks. I started getting off the machine, just messing with my socks.

Yeah, like, Oh, I'm just fixing something.

Yeah, my sock is like off.

Did you have water?

Yeah, but it was also like the other girl was fine. I mean, the other girl was like, breezing. She was like, This is easy. So I mess with both my socks. I've ran out of stock options. I can't think of another Sock to mess with. And I know the instructor, it's not like I'm in a big class.

Wait, some finance bro should come out with a line of socks and name it Sock options. Like Stock Options. Like, Stock Options? Anyway, email me later about it. Okay, so you're like, I fiddled with enough stocks. I need a game plan here.

So I just go. I have to go to the bathroom. Yeah.

How many minutes are left in the class at this point?

You know what? You don't even... You're like, I don't care. You're like, This could be another hour. I think there was 20 minutes left. So I go to the bathroom, I shut the door, and I just fall on the floor. Best feeling in my life. Laying down on a cold stranger's bathroom floor. Nothing like it. I was at peace for the first time in my life, someone would say. My whole life weren't flashing by me. I saw me as a child playing with butterflies.

Now imagine a D1 redhead saying, Oh, do you feel like you're going to pass out? Head towards the stage in that exact moment. And you're like, All I want is a tile floor.

I'm lying there, and I'm getting my breath. And in that moment, I know if I can get it together pretty quick, I still can get out of this without making a scene. Why wouldn't you just say, Guys, I'm going to literally pass out? Because that is such a great question. I could not admit that I was falling apart. Interesting. And that's my childhood. See, okay- Because then I'm not a good person.

This is where we're different when something traumatic happens to us. You're like, No, I didn't. No one noticed it. I'll deal with it later. Where I'm like-I'll deal with this in 10 years. People should be arrested because I'm feeling attacked.

Well, it's funny. You're like, they're the problem, where me, I'm like, I'm the problem.

I'm immediately like, you're the problem.

I'm the one who has an issue. So I'm laying down, and then I realized I can tell her I have my period. I can start coming up with all these lies. God forbid, I just say, I got lightheaded in your class. I'm sorry. I'm like, I have a reputation I've pulled in this town. I get up and I start washing my hands and I realize, wait, I feel okay. I think-The cold water on your wrist, probably. I also feel like I didn't go into a full panic attack. You know when you feel it coming on and you're like, not today, motherfucker. I've had that before where you feel it and then you go, I can get out of it now. I wish I could give you guys good advice besides laying on the bathroom floor, but that's what did it for me. Get back. Nothing happened. Just kept going. Wow.

Then you were just dehydrated. You weren't having-I'm starving.

I ate a French fry. I came back in.

Wait, did you tell your mom this story?

No, I don't want her being worried about me.

Oh my God.

But she'll call me afterwards. She'll call me afterwards, and I would be like, Mom, that's why I have to eat seven meals a day so I don't faint.

And that's why I don't go to parties anymore.

But anyway. Anyhow. Wait, can we have something? Well, I just want to talk about men. Yeah.

We built a whole career on it.

And I feel like this is one thing we haven't talked about men, which is hard to find, but their bathroom routine.

Their bathroom breaks.

Their bathroom breaks. Because I didn't realize this was a thing. Some men are fast with it, but there is an epidemic out there when men take poops, they make it- A ritual. A ritual. They make it main character energy. They take a whole business day.

They put it on their calendar.

You can't contact them during it.

They do this thing where they slip away. They're like, I'll be right back. And you're like, okay.

And then four hours go by.

And you're like, wait, what happened in there?

And I feel like mothers probably deal with this, where you have kids running around and your husband disappears because he has to poop, which I'm going to be honest.

I can't tell you the last time I took a regular healthy stool.

How nice must it be?

It's so fucking easy being a man. They're regulated.

They're Their hormones are never going crazy. But this is the thing. They're not in my head. It's like, oh, they're taking these huge massive poops that take forever.

I don't look. They're on their phone. They're on their phone. They're just getting away from- Yeah.

Which, yes, that's what I did during Pilates. But men do it all the time. I even think at work, first of all, they're getting paid more anyway. And then they're spending 2 hours in the bathroom at work.

Which I do commend anyone that can go to the bathroom in a public place. Talk about having panic attack, all have to lay on the floor. I remember growing up, even being in school, I went home sick before because I'm like, Mom, I really just have to go to the bathroom.

I don't want to go to school. I'm in a lot of public bathrooms. I love that you had to go home Or to be.

There are so many times in high school that my mom would be at work and I would call my grandma, and I'd be like, You have to call the school. And she'd be like, I'm not even your mom.

I'd be like, Call In my head, public bathroom is like, that's where I go off. I'm not disrespecting.

No, I get too nervous.

I also feel like that's a bathroom before, and I have to... But I can't hold it in. I can't be fake. Sorry, I can't be fake. Sorry, I'm a real one. But I also, I don't know. I feel like with the men with the bathroom, they get respect when they... You give them respect.

It's like football Sundays.

You're like, Oh, sorry. My mom had to use the bathroom I would put the door open just in case a kid wanted to jump off a table. Right.

God forbid. I couldn't even... As a child, I can't even remember my mom using the bathroom. My mom wasn't allowed to use the bathroom. I don't think she ever showered. I think for 14 years, the woman stayed showered and never peed.

My recent issue, because I have a lot of public... I'm always in airports, I'm at rest, I'm whatever. I always run into a giggler in the bathroom. Stop. It happens every day, I would say. Also, I'm always talking, so everyone's like, We can hear you.

I was going to say, You're always talking so people can recognize your voice, where I feel like when I'm out, they're like, Is that you? I'm like, Yes.

And also, if I'm with Dez, he's big and white hair. So there's a shining light and everyone sees him. But even yesterday at the Pilates class in the bathroom. Well, first of all, I can't find the bathroom. I'm walking down the hallways and someone's like, Hey, I'm going to get a clear. The bathroom is over here. You dumb fuck. I was like, I love Thank you.

Did you tell her that you fainted in it?

That was pre-faint. Got it. Now that I think about it.

So when you went back into the room, did the pregnant instructor or the other girl taking the class be like, Are you okay?

No, I didn't make eye contact. I just kept going.

So they had no idea?

No. Actually, it's funny. My memory, they probably were like, Yeah, that girl had a full breakdown mid-class, and then didn't say anything. But no, I go into the bathroom before the class, and this giggler was so nice. We were laughing, having fun. Then I'm like, Okay, I'm going to go in the stall. Then we have to use the bathroom next to each other. Obviously, it's like, pre-Palates, you got to get stuff out. I'm like, Oh, my God, am I ruining? She thought I was cool, and then I farted in the bathroom.

She's texting her friend. She was like, I just met Hannah, and she's shitting next to me.

If you have a bathroom story with me, I don't know. I think it's a beautiful connection.

Wait, I was just looking at our notes, and sometimes Grace will write notes, too. Like, Oh, this was I saw you guys should talk about it. But she wrote a note, and I'm like, I'm worried.

I was writing in Grace's notes. Oh, because I was like, This is so not Grace.

She wrote, When people mistreat you, it's because they think you're better than them, and they want to bring you down to their level. No matter how much status or power they have, they are insecure. I wrote that. Grace, are you going to? I literally read it, and I was like...

Grace would never... First of all, Grace doesn't care what other people think about her. At all. At That was our mental health moment.

Oh, okay. Sorry. I didn't mean to ruin it, but what a word salad, because I almost texted Grace this morning like, Hey, is everything good at home?

No, it was people mistreat you no matter. I can't say it seriously. But when you're treated bad, you sometimes don't realize that it is just them projecting on you. But then when you're treated bad by a boss or someone who's considered higher status or cooler, in high school, someone who thinks they're cool is mean to you, you actually realize it's because they see something in you that you don't see in yourself, and they're insecure, and they want to bring you down. And that's honestly the biggest compliment ever. And now that I think every time I felt someone was mean to me, I'm like, that was a compliment.

Yeah, it is. It really is.

If no one's mean to you, you're not doing enough.

Yeah. If no one's mean to you, it sounds like you're being mean to people. You're the meany. You're the meany. I I have a quote that was like, I don't think I'm better than you. You think I'm better than you, and that's why you hate everything I do. And I was like, oh, my God, yes.

Oh, my God. Well, also, at the end of the day, most people aren't fucking thinking about you. So everyone needs to come. Not in general. If you're obsessed with other people, how they think about you, it's like they're worrying about themselves.

That's why, actually, not to bring it back to Pilates, but whenever I do go to a Pilates class or any workout class or just the gym. I'm going in and I'm like, oh, my God, everyone's looking at me because I'm doing it wrong or everyone is so judging me or whatever. But they're not because everyone's thinking about themselves. Exactly. It's like, no one's thinking about me because I'm thinking about me.

Exactly. Our last mental health moment of the day, which Grace actually did write, Chelsea Handler. Oh, no, I had another one I had.

Why are you writing under Grace?

Well, Grace wrote something inspirational, and then I wanted to keep it all together. Look, don't worry about my methods, the methods to my madness. This is a real mic drop. Okay. How can it be unrealistic if other people have it?

I reposted that on TikTok.

Oh, sorry. So you actually wrote it? Yeah, I wrote it. The last one, shout out to Chelsea Handler, who just... What?

That just made me think of, that's why you like saying, Oh, I read the book, because it feels like you wrote it. You feel like you wouldn't get it because you haven't read this master piece. You've only experienced the movie.

I wrote it with the author. It was a co-wrote. It was a collab.

I was asked what I wanted to put in.

You're like, I'm the only person that's ever read this book.

Okay, sorry.

Keep going. Chelsea said, We neglect to reflect about how far we've come. Don't forget your younger self is always with you. That's just a cute moment.

Also, I think the world isn't giving enough credit to now only women host award shows.

Yeah, because we are socially aware, and we know how to be funny without hurting people. Yes. Because we have empathy.

I can't wait to watch Nikki Glaser do Golden Globes again. Yeah.

Chelsea can do it in her sleep. Nikki can do it in her sleep.

It's true. I'm so anxious to see who they get for the Oscars because I also feel like no one is even I haven't seen any articles or headlines or anything about how women are dominating hosting.

I would say Amy Poehler, except Amy's too busy. Amy doesn't want to.

People still talk about Amy Poehler and Tina Faye hosting or presenting. See, they're exhausted.

They're like, We can't do this all the time. But you know what I also don't like? The Oscars is a man. They get a man for the Oscars in the two smallest award shows they give to the women.

Oh, I never thought of that because the last guy I can think of hosting the Oscars.

Konan, last Oscars.

Oh, he did?

Yeah.

I don't remember that. Did he do a good job?

We were busy during that week. Well, Konan is likable. Konan's fine. He wasn't doing stand-up.

I feel like the last time a guy hosted it when I was like, he was funny, it was Ricky Gervais. They loved- And they would never have him back.

They liked Jimmy Kimmel. They liked Trevor Noah.

Sorry, did I black out? When the hell did Trevor Noah host the Oscars? I don't remember that at all.

There was a time where he hosted every award show. He was the guy. But by the way, hosting an award show is-I couldn't imagine. Is very difficult. I think Chelsea is so good at it because She knows everyone for so long. It's so much easier saying a joke to your friend than a joke to someone who you're literally like, I can't believe I'm making eye contact with this person right now.

I just think it's funny that when the men do host, it's like, oh, my God, Kevin Hart's hosting. Oh, my God. Kevin Hart said no to hosting. It's never a big deal about... People, I really feel, didn't make a big enough deal that it was Nikki's first time ever hosting an award show Yeah, and she crushed it.

And she crushed it.

If that was a guy, they'd be like, he is just the best host of all time.

The best stand-up of all time. Have you seen the Cher interview? I love that she comes out of nowhere- And now we've said it. And just lays down the law.

I'm obsessed with her. If you haven't seen the clip, Cher's on the... What is the name of Daxia? Armchair Expert. On Dax Sheppard's podcast, which people love. He does have a great podcast. He always has good interesting guests and stuff. And so Kristen Bell was on and Cher was on, and they were talking about what a good relationship they have because they did the movie Burlesque. And then Dax asked Cher, who would be your dream guy for Kristen? Who do you think would be better suited with her?

Which is him basically saying, I know that you think I'm not good enough for her.

And he did say, he was like, I know you think she could do better, which I don't disagree with, but who in your head would you think? And Cher was like, I have no idea. I have not thought of a specific person. But then she goes, I trust Kristen so much that if she loves you, there must be something about you that I'm not seeing, which is incredible. If I was Dax, I would have been like, Okay, and I got to go.

Because she's basically saying, If you don't have the greatest dick alive, which you probably don't, you should not be with her. But also, I love that I feel like he was too scared to have her on alone. He needed to bring Kristen because she's close with her.

Yeah.

To do a one-on-one.

No, I do think it. I feel like Kristen was like, Oh, shoot. Is she going to say an actual person? You could tell that Kristen got a little anxious, which obviously. Then when Cher said it, she laughed and was like, That was great. They were like, Clip this.

This isn't directly pointed at Dax because we love men in the arts, but I just have to say a shout out in general for all the- Of all the men that have podcasts, I do enjoy it.

I've listened to his. I do enjoy his the most of... Sometimes it's too guyish, and I'm almost like, I don't even understand that reference. I don't even know what the fuck you're talking about.

Ph Olympians?

Okay. What is Cialis? Is it air conditioning.

I was stuck in a conversation where men were talking about air conditioning, and I was like, I need to get the fuck out of here.

You know what isn't talked about enough? Is that you can get boner pills at the gas station. Like, Oh, okay. There's tax on tampons, but Let's make sure you can get hard at 7: 11. That's inappropriate.

Yeah. One thing we need less of is hard men. If you're soft, you're soft for a reason. That's the universe. Sorry. Whatever happened to Darwinism? Do you think Darwinism wanted dick pills at 7: 11? No.

No, actually, guys say that they're really dangerous. You should not take this. Because once I saw them and I was like, What is that?

What if I accidentally took it because I thought it was for WTI.

I don't think it would do anything.

We'll see. We don't know. We'll try it later. We'll keep you guys posted. Can I page or anything?

Can I page, try Cialis.

I was going to say, though, with men, older men who do plastic surgery, there's another level of sickness to it when it comes out. It doesn't look good because I'm like, first of all, you don't even have societal standards making you have bad plastic surgery. Women who have bad plastic plastic surgery. I'm like, let her live. She's doing her best. When men get bad plastic surgery, I'm like, you didn't even need this, and you fucked it up? How did we get here, bro?

Are you referring to anyone specific? Because I have one person in my head.

There's just some guys who are older and looking funky. They haven't figured it out yet. Like Bradley Cooper.

I feel like he did something, and I'm like, They messed it up a little. There's something slightly off.

As someone who loves the look of an older man, I want to see those wrinkles. I want to see the pain you've been through in your life.

No, Bradley Cooper has been hot for 30 years.

But Bradley would be so hot as an older chiseled, tired man. Yeah, I would say- You don't need to be fresh-faced at 62. No. Especially as a man. If you're fresh-faced at 62, you didn't work.

No.

I want some grays.

I want salt and pepper hair.

I want you to walk slower.

I want you to have a limp because you need a hip replacement. I want you to not be that quick so I can get away. I need to.

Someone said, Flirting in your 30s He's just like, So is your lower back okay?

Wait, people don't talk about how intimate it is, being like, Where's your pain? Do you have sciatica yet?

How's your L4?

What is up with men loving sciatica? I feel like that's a word they learned, and they just have been running with it.

It's like crypto. It's a body version crypto.

I have not heard the word sciatica ever in my life. I feel like in the past two years, I've had multiple men that I don't even really know that they're like, My sciatica.

What is that? Also, when you're younger, remember Ariana Grande? I almost said Ariana.

She did her hair brown.

Thank God. But Ariana said, You got me walking side to side. So when you're younger, if anything feels anything after you're like, Oh, he blew my brains out, where now it's like my.

That's what that means?

Yeah, he's got me walking side to Side. What did you think it meant?

I have no idea. I thought it just rhymed.

Side to Side. Side, Rhyme to side.

I thought it went with whatever the line was. I don't like to look into the lyrics, really, because I mean, thank God we didn't. That's a personal thing for them.

Thank God, we didn't. The stuff that we were singing when we were nine years old. Did you watch any of the New Year's stuff?

Do you know that this is the first year I didn't? And I was home. I didn't go out this year for New Year's, and it was the first time I didn't watch any New Year's Eve.

Why do you think? How does that make you feel?

Why do I think? I think it It's for older people, and I do feel like traditional TV. Okay, here's a great example. If Netflix had one, if Netflix had a New Year's Eve thing and it was a bunch of celebrities that I know who they are and they're famous right now, currently, I probably would have watched it. But sometimes, traditional news places that do a New Year's Eve thing every year, they have so much so many rules because it's like, Yeah, this is network TV. You can't say that. It could be kids watching or we have laws and stuff like that. It's just not as unhinged as I feel it could be.

I like to play. There's the CNN one, there's the CBS and then ABC or something. I don't know. But if anyone would go to a commercial, then I go to the other one. Then it was like, That one's in a commercial. Then I was getting whiplash. I do like thinking that secretly, Ryan Seacrest and Andy Cohen and Anderson Cooper are in a group chat.

The day before New Year's Eve, you're going down. I do like to think that there's some type of rivalry.

It's funny because they are filming right next to each other, right? They're in Timesquare. I think also booking the gig-They're probably...

Now that I think about it, there's just so many studios. They're probably in this... Are they in the same building? They could be.

See, that's the reality I want to watch. But I feel like also it's a hard gig to book because who wants to be performing? On New Year's Eve. On New Year's Eve in the freezing cold in Times Square. They rip people apart if they lip sync and then if they don't lip sync. Okay.

I have a really hot take that is probably going to be rude. If you go to Times Square and you're not hosting the New Year's Eve show, you're there as a patron of the Times Square New Year's Eve, you should not be allowed to vote. Paige. Because in what worlds do you have the same common sense or reasoning as the rest of America?

Paige's Sorbo. Those are the people I was talking about last episode, which you guys can listen to if you haven't on Monday, about some people just enjoy what Events. Just wearing a diaper.

I mean, what the fuck was that?

Imagine being so excited to be like, I'm going to go to Times Square for New Year's and stand there. It's going to be awesome. I wish I could get a high from that. These people are jacked up.

It brings some joy. No, there's something to miss going on there. You think they're AI? Yeah, there's something weird happening. You're telling me there's that many people that electively... It's fucking freezing. Once you leave, you can't come back. So you're not only signing up for it to be freezing for hours, but you're also going to give yourself a UTI.

100%. They're just spreading.

They I literally interviewed the front row, and they were like, I've been here, and I'm wearing a diaper. And the one guy was like, I'm wearing a pad. And everyone in the comments was like...

You don't have to.

No, that's not... You've peed your pants. No pad in the world is soaking up you peeing your pants.

Not to be an annoying New Yorker, but I used to live, don't put your loss, right by Times Square in Hell's Kitchen. And at one point, I had to get to my place, and they were like, You can't go, because it was the day. And I was like, No, I live there. They're like, You can't cross this. And I'm like, I can't get to my house. And it took 30 minutes of talking to different cops to try to get to my apartment because my ID said an old apartment from the year before, and I couldn't get home.

Don't get me started on the parades in New York City. The amount of times I've been like, But I live here, and they're like, No.

Also, I had an epiphany the other day that sometimes I'm annoying. I I think that's in your 30s, you start realizing-In what context? Just you have flaws, and that's okay. I think your 20s, you're trying to be perfect. Then you- And be like, I don't have any flaws. Then you're trying to hide your flaws. Then by your 30s, you're like, Yeah, that's me. I'm so annoying about being from New York. I was talking to someone the other day, and I could just hear myself talking, and I was like, Shut up. I just got my driver's license. I can't function anywhere but New York. Just normalizing being like, Oh, that's an annoying side of me that we'll work on.

That New York is your personality. I'm trying to think what's the most annoying thing I've done recently that I've clocked? Wow, that's annoying as fuck.

I feel like in your 20s, you ignore it, where your 30s, You're more open to- Yes.

Because you're like, I'm evolving. There's so many more times in my 30s that in my head I've been like, Yeah, I handled that wrong. That was on me. And that's maturity, I think. And that was a bitchy thing to say, or That was just a rude thing to do. We're in my 20s, I'd be like, Get over at.

Can I just say something, though? I know we joke that you're mean and rude to everyone. You've never been rude to me.

No, it's like a persona that... Well, you want to know what?

You've never even got mad at me before.

No.

And you're always like, Oh, I got mad about this. You've never gotten mad.

Yeah, because I love you. Okay.

You're like, You get away with so much.

Wait, oh my God. I didn't even... This is so long ago, and I forgot to bring it up on the pod. What? So a couple of weeks ago, there was... You know when, randomly on TikTok, everyone was getting videos that they were like, I saw this last week, or I saw this last month, or whatever? That happens all the time. I was going through that, and there was a TikTok that I had seen before, and I must have seen it in the middle of the night because I didn't comment on it, and I wanted to. This girl made this TikTok, and she was like, She's very obvious that Paige loves Hannah so much more than Hannah loves Paige. She She wasn't even being mean in it. She was like, This is why I think this. I just don't think. She goes like, all these explanations.

Wait, what did she say?

I have to find it, but I comment.

They were like, The way Hannah looks at Paige sometimes.

I commented it, and I was like, That fucking bitch. So you're like, yeah. But no, people don't think that we would be friends because we're so different. But what people don't realize is that I don't feel comfortable.

With people like you. That's exactly it.

I don't feel sketchy. Don't trust her. When I see someone who...

Don't Well, let's see someone who moves like me. You go, I don't need that energy in my life.

No, but I think it's a self-awareness thing where I'm like, I'm annoying about certain things that I should not be annoying about, like clothes and shoes. Where you don't care about that stuff. So it's almost like an escape of my own brain to be with you.

That's why we're with men, because occasionally you have something that's like, pissing you off, and then you say to them and their perspective helps us. We need that occasionally. But also with you, there was a second where I'm like, why does she like me? And then I met one of your old childhood friends who's just like me, too. You like to surround yourself with people who don't take themselves too seriously. Your brother is also like me.

Who did you meet of my childhood friends? Stephanie.

Oh, yeah. She's outgoing. She's a personality. She's personality. It's not like all your friends are type of way, and I'm a cold sore. Except that one dinner you brought me to, and I was like,.

If anything, I really don't have any I would say the closest girlfriend that I have that is exactly like me. I don't have a name.

Do you know it's so funny, too? All my friends growing up were always the pretty girly Vicariously hot girl, and I would live vicariously through all her voice stories because I was scared.

Do you know growing up my best friend from literally kindergarten to college? Literally. My whole life, she was number one on the softball team, number one on the basketball team. I was just like, Yeah, she's a fucking athlete.

You love that about her, but you weren't competing.

Yeah, because I was like, Oh, my God, look at her go, where she didn't give a shit about-Can I tell you my best friend in high school?

Well, I got high school in junior year, halfway through junior year, because I transferred from a tennis academy. So middle junior year, I show up to Beacon High School, raise my hand in a class, crazy behavior. And after the class, the most beautiful girl in the class, high cheekbones, blue eyes, comes up to me and she's just like, You don't have anywhere to go to lunch with, do you? And you go out to lunch at Beacon. It's like, cool. It's a whole thing. And I was like, No. She takes me out to lunch. Immediately, I'm like, You're my favorite person in the world. That's a nice thing ever. And And then fast forward a couple months later, she pulls out a cigarette and starts smoking. You remember? And I literally take her cigarette and I throw it at her. It's literally so me and you because she was just a bad girl. And she's like, Oh, this guy, whatever. And I'm like, Get that cigarette, you're going to die. And she's like, Oh. We're so different, but we just loved each other. And she'd be waiting at my locker every day.

My favorite moment is just watching you try and smoke weed.

Wait, can I tell a story that I don't think we ever told that happened on Raeli TV? Me smoking weed. Everyone had... There was a weed pen going around at one point.

Yes, it was mine. It wasn't going around. I was just hitting it.

And we, for some reason, were hiding in a closet.

Yeah. It was me, you and Amanda. You had just come home from somewhere.

And something bad had happened.

And me and Amanda were in the closet.

Something like, I was really upset. You were upset. And I remember you being like, Hannah, just hit this.

Yeah, we just hit this.

You'll be fine. So then I'm like, Okay, fine. And I'm so dramatic about it. I'm about to do heroin for the first time. I put it up to my mouth. No idea what to do. No idea what to do. Not doing it right. You didn't even suck in. Don't even know how to do it. Was trying to do it. Then a guy I'd been talking to comes by, sees me holding it, gets mad at me for smoking weed. I then go, I don't know how to smoke weed. I didn't know what I was doing. We get into a whole thing. He's mad at me. You guys are laughing.

Wait, I forgot about that.

No, I got a huge job.

I forgot about that second part. I literally stopped remembering. I was like, I don't even know how to inhale.

He's like, How do you not know how to inhale? I'm like, I'm really dumb and scared, and I don't know what's happening.

Wait, I forgot about that. I think that was the day that I was like, he's a loser.

I was like, I didn't even...

I was like, We're 25. We're going to hit the weed pen. You fucking narc. That was wild behavior on his part. I was like, get out of my face. Wow, that was a trip down memory.

That was. I want to make one quick announcement, too. I posted my nail situation. I got my nails done. I got my first Russian manicure.

Do you love?

I want to say these women are scientists.

I haven't gotten one yet, and everyone says, once you get one, you'll never go back.

She did nip one of my cuticles, and she hit an artery for sure. You bled a little. Yeah, I bled a little, and it's hurting. If it gets infected, you could die. But besides that, I I feel very- Wait, do you want to know what's crazy? It's like, that's true. My friend told me a story of a girl who had to go to the hospital because of a manicure.

No, people have gotten their fucking feet chopped off because of- A pedicure gone awry? Yeah, you become septic.

Yes. Someone had to miss a wedding because of it, which was a great idea. But when I broke my nail and the way they create a new nail based off of just the clay is 3D printing. And it's just a lady with a stick, a literal wooden stick. I'm like, How did you create a whole new nail bed? It's It's incredible the work that they've done. Yeah, it is. I just want to raise awareness for- Every time I get my nails done, I think this is because I have anxiety that I randomly will just shake.

It's not good. But if I have to do something with my hand, It's like, I'm going to shake a little.

It's the Diet Coke just raging through your veins. You're like, I'm drugged out.

I'm figuring it out. No. I always think when I'm getting my nails done, when they're painting, I'm like, Every time I'm like, I would have fucked that up. Right there at that part, I would have fucked that up. It's so crazy how they can do it.

My final thought, which is a meme that I saw that made me laugh really hard, so I want to say it out loud to the gigglers. Someone wrote, Does Ben Affleck only know two women?

Wait, this is so bad because I am a fan of Anna DeArmis. I think she's stunning. I think she's a good actress. This is so mean. Oh, my God. I'm trying to be self-aware, but this is mean. Whenever I can't do something or I think, I'm going to be bad at that, or I've never tried that before. It's probably not my hidden talent. I always think, if Anna DeArmis can be Marilyn Monroe, I can do anything.

Mental health moment of the Year. No, that's so true. I think it's so valid. Blonde doesn't go with her- Usually, I don't think about bad movies years later.

For whatever reason, that movie really stuck in my brain. I think because I was... Do you want to know why? As I was watching it, it was going through a man's phone. There's so much lore there, but I think about it all the time. I go, Ana de Armas, I can do this.

And that's what we're going to leave you guys with. I hope you enjoyed our first-First second episode. We doubled up Double Oreo this week.

We're going to be different. Some days we're going to do one topic. We're going to have gigglers write in, You have to talk about this. Things that we didn't touch on. Sometimes we might have a guest could happen.

We're free-falling. We love you guys so much. We're excited. Thank you for giggling. Bye.