Transcript of Giggling about diners, demotions, and shaved heads

I'm Louise McSharry from Catch Up with Louise McSharry. As you may or may not know, I have two beloved cats, Debbie and Dali, and I want the best for them in every aspect of life, including nutrition. Purina One offers advanced nutrition from the age of one, which benefits your cat's health today and tomorrow. It's scientifically proven to help strengthen your cat's natural defenses thanks to ingredients like Lactobacillus and helps improve their gut microbiome balance. Purina One even offers a money-back guarantee. Just try the three-week challenge and see the results for yourself. For full terms and conditions, visit the Purina website.

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What's up, gigglers? Gary, fix your WiFi. Manifest that shit. We can't be managed.

I mean, the day just got away from me.

Hello, my Guggenheim gigglers. Yeah, we're cultured. You knew I was going to say that. It's DJ Dashhound and DJ Doxon here to party.

Whenever I come to do the pod because you live on the Lower East Side, I am put together a Lower East Side outfit.

You love dressing for the part. You love being like, I'm downtown. I'm a whole new bitch.

I wake up thinking I'm a Barbie. I'm like, What is my profession today? What is my vibe? What is my outfit?

You're a Lower East Side cool girl.

I love how you brought some glasses. I walked in and Chris was like, What's the pants situation? Never seen that before. Is that a scarf? Is that a one-piece? He was very interested. I was very curious.

I feel like Chris has learned so... Chris has been to Giggly Squad University, and you've almost graduated. Not yet. I don't think you ever graduated. It's a multi-level marketing scheme.

I've recently met people that know Chris on their own accord.

Oh, I didn't know he had other friends.

I didn't speak so highly of him. Really? I didn't know he did things outside of this room. I thought he lived here the whole time.

Yeah, I thought he just waited for us with his legs swinging, excited for us to come in.

He's like, They're going to come back next Monday.

Side note, I was trying on sunglasses today because you just brought sunglasses, and I put them on, and they were big, and Grace looks at me and goes, It's giving Kate plus eight.

When I tell you-Oh my- Wait, my eye has been twitching all week.

Yeah, do you want to know why? Because you've been socializing all weekend while I was alone in a hotel room.

Sending me copious voice messages.

And guess what? I was sending them because I wanted the tea. You're out in New York City running around. I'm alone in a hotel room in Buffalo, which, shout out to Buffalo, but I'm clearly bored.

Which I heard you kept calling Boston.

Who told you that? Who told you that? No, you guys, my worst nightmare happened this week. I was going through a lot this weekend alone, and I'm sending-I got so many DMs.

Hannah just called all of us, Boston, but we're actually in Buffalo. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, miss you.

Okay, I wasn't going to start with this, but here we I was peeing as one does.

You look so pretty today. I love when you give old money. I love when you wear a designer.

We haven't been in the studio. Whenever we're in the studio, we want to make out. We love each other. And then on Zoom, I'm like, What do you want? What do you want from me? I'm peeing before my show. Now, the way my show's work is I have an opener, Caroline Banowitz, who's amazing. And she does this song about dick pics as her finale song. So once the dick goes, I know, Okay, be ready.

I haven't gotten a dick pic in...

I mean. Years. That's why we're at peace. No, truly. And then when people show me other their dick pics that are being sent to them, that's more abrasive.

One time I had... This is so bad. One time I had a boyfriend and we literally broke up because he couldn't stop sending dick pics to other people.

I thought you were going to say you. That got so much sadder. I was like, You really have to stop. He was like, But I'm not saying anything.

I don't know what you're talking about. He was like a classic, You didn't see that. I'm like, I literally experienced it with my own body. He was like, No, you didn't.

He's like, I've never been on a date with them. I don't tell them I like them. What are you I'm not even talking about. You didn't see that? Share the art of my shaft. I heard guys use 0. 5 now. Anyway, so I'm peeing and there was a photographer there and we start yapping. Normally, I'm alone in my green room. Because you're not there. It's just my opener on stage and I'm ready. So I'm yapping, yapping, yapping. Suddenly, I hear the crowd start clapping and I go, Oh, my God, I'm on. But I haven't been, I don't know, ready mentally. So I'm frantic. In these theaters, I had to run down a hallway.

No one came and got you?

No. Not all the theaters are that organized. It's really a lot like- There's one thing happening there.

It's you going What do you mean?

Because I think we weren't that far.

They're only there for you.

But I also think they're like, Hannah, you have one reason to be here, so you should be ready to go on.

See my eye? The other one went. We don't know. I don't know what's going on.

Don't look directly at me. I sprint down the hallway. It wasn't that long of a hallway. I get on perfect timing, and I look at her, and I could tell Caroline can't tell. Because to leave your opener without you coming on is not okay. That's super embarrassing. Where they're like, Okay, where is she? Once I got stuck in an elevator. But otherwise, I'm really fucking good at being prepared for it because that's the only reason I was there. I get on stage and I was not giving myself excuses, but I was a little bit thrown. I was a little frantic. I was feeling anxious. I You grab the mic and you hear the energy and I just go, What the fuck is up, Boston? And as I'm saying it, I realized, Okay, there's two ways to go about this. I could just hope that they didn't hear that. I could just continue on like nothing happened and gaslight them to think they heard it in their head.

They're now in Boston.

We're in Boston. Or I say what we're all thinking, which is, I just called all you guys Boston. So obviously, I went with the latter, and I was like, I am so sorry. But also Buffalo, by the way, is the They are a tiny town that has their own football team. They are the most proud town in all of probably the country. So the fact that I said, Hello, Boston, I could have gotten They live through full on tundras, and they don't complain at all. No, they're just sweet, nice people.

They live in Alaska, and they don't care, and they're happy about it. And they're like, We see the sun for 48 hours once a year, and we're good.

I thought Upstate was Westchester growing up. Turns out it's not. It's Buffalo.

No, it's really not.

In that moment, for the next five minutes, I'm doing the beginning of my show, and I'm just repeating it in my head Was it as bad as like, Yeah, that was really bad.

I couldn't believe people were coming to tell me. They were like, Oh, my God. You got to hear this. Hannah's so stupid.

You're front road Fashion Week, and people were like, Your friend is so fucking dumb. But the best was when I got off stage. The messages were so funny. They go, Boston loves you. Thank you so much for coming to Boston.

We do love Boston.

Best show ever.

I haven't done a show in Buffalo.

You have to. It was incredible. It was like 1,700 girls all messaging me, making fun of me.

How did you get there?

I had to actually fly to Rochester, and then we drove because I had a show in Rochester the night before. Anyway, meanwhile, I'm struggling, and I'm sending you some stuff. If I see photos of you, I need a story. I need to know how we got there, who you saw, whatever. She's not giving me anything. I started making up voice notes. I was like, Hey, I got to tell you about something.

Hannah sent me some of the most incredible voice notes this weekend. Here's the thing. Couldn't tell you what they're about. No, I couldn't either now. But at the time, I was like, Oh, my God. I saw them come in, and I did... Wait, this is the funniest thing. I'm at a shoot all day Friday. I'm with Tresame. We're doing stuff all day. I get two voice notes from you back to back, two double two-minuters. I'm like, oh, my God, let's freaking go. Now, with the update of the phone, you know how you can click See more? And it's written out. Oh, yeah. So I'm around people. So I'm not just going to play your voice.

You go, Hey, do you want to hear what Hannah's saying?

That would be a death sentence.

Diabolical, yeah. Who knows what could be said? I'd never work in this town again.

I click it and I'm reading it, and someone comes from over my shoulder, and they're like, Oh, my God, what is that? First of all, HIPAA. No, that is such a HIPAA. I'm like, Second of all, let a girl get a voice note from her friend and know that it's not appropriate to listen to right now in this moment, but I had to know what the gist was.

This is the problem with being friends with a public figure, is that she's either locked away in the safest, most private place where she can be belasting your voice notes, or she's surrounded by a full team of 12 people and everyone who's ever worked in Hollywood. So you just have to pray. I don't remember what I said, but it was literally to be like, you respond to be like, These are the best voice messages I've ever heard. And I go, Okay, I wanted you to respond with a voice note.

I know, but I didn't have the time. And honestly, I didn't have any good gossip to give you. But what people don't talk enough about with voice notes, when you're... I know when you're about to start laughing about something because I'm like, Stop. So listening to a voice note, just know when you're recording it, I'm laughing at the same time. Okay? And I think that's important for you to know.

That warmed my heart. Also, I have a paranoia that I'm going to be really really good two minutes into a voice note and then fuck up two and a half minutes in. I'm a performer. I don't like... You're fine with the coughing. I don't like too much. But you are a cougher. You're an avid cougher.

Well, you should hear when I send ads to Grace. I'm like, Sorry, I need a minute actually.

When you record the ads, not to show how the sausage is made, you press record and then you record all the ads. I have to record it one by one because I'm convinced I'm going to knock over my recording.

I'm on for 25 minutes.

My voice note.

I feel like Grace has heard me on the phone with my mom, but I stop and do my own thing. You just therapy.

You go, Oh, wait, my therapist is on the line.

There has been times where I'll go on Instagram for five minutes, and I'm like, Oh, shit, I'm doing ads. Grace, sorry.

God forbid, you just send her two files or more than one file.

I don't want her to have to open that much. Okay. I want her to get one email.

My thing with the voice notes, I'd rather send 10 one minute voice notes than one 10 minute one because I think it's easier to consume. But that's just my process.

I have a girlfriend who... We don't speak often. We speak quarterly, honestly. We catch up and then we move about our lives.

Two, three is when we follow up.

A couple of days ago, this bitch sent me a 15 minute voice note. I mean, the updates were completely necessary. I literally got an update on her entire summer.

Wait, that's standing ovation at the Cannes Film Festival. I literally did laundry.

I set it down and I was like, you're getting confounding. I'm like, what?

But doesn't the phone sometimes stop playing it because the phone goes to sleep?

It goes out, yeah. And I have to...

Was It was better than mine?

No, it was more informational, I'll say.

Which, honestly, valid.

Definitely more factual. It wasn't as opinion-based.

Definitely cohesive. Definitely full sentence was reformed. We have so much to talk about. Shall I begin with one? Oh, no, it's coming to you.

I shall begin? Yes.

I shall?

The flow is yours.

The flow is yours.

So stupid. Stop. Wait, not right now. We're not talking about this right now. But I watched the Charlie Sheen documentary because I knew you were going to talk about it. So at a later time, we'll dive into it. But I just I don't want you to know going into it, I've seen it. Clock it. Okay.

That's what I'm very excited. This is a voice note from Paige, by the way. She coughs. She tells you what she's going to talk about, then forgets what she was going to talk about.

A couple of weeks ago, I get a DM from Morgan Stuart.

Who is Lord our savior.

You know the best thing about my assistant is she's so Gen Z that I bring up Morgan Stewart at least once a week. I'm referencing her, and every single time I I say it, she goes, Who? And I go, Honestly? No, keep me young. Thank you. I got a DM from Morgan Stewart, and I'm like, My life is made. We start chit-chatting, whatever. And then she goes, I'm having a dinner during Fashion Week, but not a Fashion Week dinner. And I totally knew what she meant by that. And I was like, Of course.

For people that don't know, can you explain?

She was having a Fashion Week dinner, but she was having a Morgan Stewart chic dinner. She wasn't having a branded in your face. Yeah, like drapes. She didn't have drapes and candles.

She's not having fluorescent lighting.

She didn't have any fluorescent lighting. She obviously had a photographer, but it was very grab your skinny margarita, take a seat, give two pieces of gossip, and then move along. So I had never met her before in person. I didn't know that. Yeah, so I didn't know what to expect. First of all, I walk up to the restaurant, so chic, not a sign in sight, could have literally been walking into a dentist office. They're like, Private room is upstairs.

So New York.

This French restaurant, it was called, I think it was called Le Vu. I was just like, Yeah, Blair Waldorf. Goes here. So I walk in, she's the first person I see. We hug. We immediately start talking about glam. So I'm like, No, I'm home.

Were you nervous?

I was very nervous, but I wasn't nervous enough to take a beta blocker because I was No, I manifested this. This is like- This was going to happen.

We knew it. Yeah, I knew this. We prepared.

She literally just had her friends at dinner. Me, Tinks, this girl, Sarah, Ariel Charnas, were the only people that I feel like I knew from Instagram. Everyone else. I was like, Oh, that's your best friend. So it was a fun, funny dinner. Sounds like a bachelorette party. I had two cocktails, which I never do.

That means you were in a good mood.

I will say I I was the first person to leave. I didn't even have that. The clock struck 10: 15. I was like, I'm literally... I melt at 10: 30, so I have to scram.

I live on the West Side, which is basically Europe, so I have to go now.

Wait, here's the other thing.

You had to beat the traffic.

Dinner was uptown. She's perfect. And that's how I knew I was like, I'm in the right place at the right time. I'm in the right place at the right time. All the kids are downtown. They're doing their thing. They're walking their runway.

Being punks. They're being literal punks.

Okay, and I'm uptown at a mommy and me, and then I'm going home.

I was uptown, too, but I was in Boston.

But she was the best. It was just a chic, cute dinner. I love that. We all got a belt. That was amazing.

People don't talk about belts enough. No. Belts are never in the conversation. Then one day you wake up and you go, Oh, no, this outfit needs a belt, and you don't have one. Yeah.

I hoard belts, actually.

Speaking of I have a hot take. As someone who is... I don't know if it's because I'm anxious or possibly ADHD or just I get overwhelmed easily, I can't do bracelets. There's too much... What's it called? Sensory overload. When I wear a bracelet, I walk into a room and I'm like, I'm wearing a bracelet. I try talking, I'm like, Are you looking at my bracelet?

Or the girls that wear the same necklaces every single day. My thought is, are you showering in them and sleeping in them? Yeah, you are. Because that We are not really jewelry gows.

No. When I got engaged, I was like, Cool, I don't wear rings. You guys, I don't wear my wedding ring. I don't want it. I don't wear my wedding ring because I started getting rashes I don't even know why. People be like, Are you not married?

Eczema?

I think it's because when I wash my hands in so many different states. Sorry, I'm traveling a lot. When I'm in Boston versus Buffalo.

Wait, are you going to blame a water issue here?

Yeah, the water's different, and I think I also don't dry my hands to the point every time, and it starts getting red. I get a rash, so I don't wear my redding ring. No one needs two rings on their finger. No one needs That's prison. It's a prison. Then if you wear, God forbid, I wear a bangle, I'm like, I can't focus on this conversation because my bangle's moving.

When I see the girls wearing the hand chains-My friend Madison plays tennis in her body chain. I'm like, I don't know how they're Not to call her out, but it's like girls who wear sweaters that are itchy just for fun.

I think bracelets or the girls who have stacked bracelets. No, I can't. I could do that maybe for a look.

I can't even... We wear studs. I love stacking jewelry and wearing a bunch of bracelets and wearing a bunch of rings for a look. For 30 minutes. But then when I get home, get it off.

Also, when you can't get a bracelet off, nothing more humbling.

One of One of my friends had a bracelet on. I'm not kidding, for four months. And she was like, Well, because I couldn't get it off. The moment I knew I couldn't get it off, that's the moment I have to take pliers because I'm not going to live in my own prison that I've created. I'd start having a literal panic.

I'm like, Get it off. Also, I am wearing a ring right now that's huge, and I love it, but it's the only thing I'm going to think about this whole pod.

I know for a fact that you're cleaning out your apartment right now, and these are all items that you've recently found that you forgot, and you put it all together today, and you were like, cool outfit. For God, I had it. I know that's what happened because never have I once seen you walk in with earrings and a ring and also a fit that I haven't seen in a while.

Now that I'm fully exposed, have you I feel fucking naked.

Now that I feel naked on this one.

I saw Jacquelyn, our nail girl. After a full summer not seeing her, I opened the door and she was like, Funny seeing you here? I said, Jacquelyn, do you know we talk about you on the podcast every single week? And she was like, Yeah, it's really She's funny. And I was like, Come in. And then I said, Jacquelyn, I need natural. Yeah.

And then- What did he say?

She went arguably too natural because I said, Jacquelyn, you can give me fake long ones. And she goes, No, you just cut it off. So I lost privileges with her.

She goes, So I'm going to keep it now. I didn't even know Jacquelyn could demote you.

No, she demoted me. She tried with me and is over my shit. And she said, I'm keeping your nubs nubby, and this is what you get.

Sometimes Jacquelyn will give me an option. She'll give two options, right? Which I love. I feel like she's secretly testing me because I know that she likes one of the options more. And so sometimes I'll say one and she'll look at me and I'll go, The other one should.

Wait, Jacquelyn, how did you just do that? She doesn't say yes. She'll just nod and look back down. And I'm like, I'm so scared right now. But also, I haven't cut them, but maybe I did once, and she hasn't forgiven me. But Jacquelyn's back in my life. Good. You guys know we hate admin at Giggly Squad, and That's why we love Square. Today's episode is brought to you by Square. It's smart, streamlined tools that make running your business simple. I want to announce that I am doing merch on my standup tour, and I'm using Square for a lot of the transactions. Let's be honest, I never have cash on me. I will always pick the wrong credit card. I never know what to use. So when a coffee shop just has a simple Square for me to do a nice tap, the world makes sense again. There's no learning curve, no tech headaches, just intuitive for business owners and for the people buying stuff easy to use from day one. From cafés to salons to retail shops to food truck, Square has a setup that fits your business and plans. Our listeners get up to $200 off Square hardware when you sign up at square.

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I also hung out with It's like, vampire weekend. They're a band. Chris knows them. Chris knows them. How old are they? Do they have another ballad of some sort?

I'm not... That one's not clicking.

These guys, they're just in a band. What is it? Vampire what? Weekend. They're very... They popped off 10 years ago. I was like, How's tour, guys?

They were like, Good. Where'd you meet them? At the airport.

Because there's a girl in their band who's also a comedian who's a genius and also does Violin, Isabel.

Okay.

She's...

This is an ADHD conversation. I feel like I've ever been a part of. How do we even get here?

I thought you were going to know who Vampire Weekend is, but because you don't. Really?

Do you even know me? Does that sound like something I would know what the fuck that is?

Nelly?

I'm like, No. I thought you were talking about vampire diaries, and you're going to bring up that the star of vampire diaries just broke up with her fiancé.

Shall we talk about Nina? Shall we? She's having so much fun on Instagram.

The rumor is that he cheated on her. Then she did a TikTok that was basically-Cloofirmy at Fuck You.

Yeah.

I think they were engaged for five years. I'm going to be honest, I never saw them together.

Yeah.

Look, sometimes I like an ugly guy with a I'm a highly hot girl. I didn't want to say it. Sometimes I'm a huge fan of that.

I didn't want to say it, but...

But they were taking it to the limit.

No, not that one. This is the thing. There are handsome gingers out there. A hundred %. And there are talented gingers out there, and there are kind gingers out there. This one in particular, I think it's giving She gave him too much confidence. She made him...

And that's what it is.

Snowboarders need to calm down. As a former skier, When I was skiing, everyone was so polite. Excuse me, whatever. Then I'd fucking die.

I almost got murdered.

No, they're all... They literally are like...

A group of 14-year-old snowboarders?

No, they rob you. And then they steal your glasses, and then you're scared and freezing, and then they give you the finger as they go down every time. I don't trust a snowboarder. I don't like them.

They literally take my glasses, slap them back at me, give Show me the finger. Ski down and take all the hot chocolate. I don't know.

No, they get off on scaring people. They're like those kids on Halloween that throw eggs with Nair in them. Those are snowboarders.

Is that a thing?

Oh, my God. In the city? Yeah.

Oh, my God. That's intense.

Okay, so shout out to Nina. We love you.

Wow. Your list is crazy.

My list is crazy. Can we bring back a saying? Yeah. Can we please start saying that shit's Wack? Can we say Wack, at least? I feel like- That's so Wack. So Wack. I don't know.

As I said, a lot- No, I feel like I've said it recently. Wack.

Wack was my everything. Everything was like, It's Wack.

It's funny because on TikTok, there's a lot of Gen Z people making videos of four millennials. Hey, here's things we don't say anymore. Here's things that you You said that means the same thing here. Wack is such a great word to describe anything. Say, I feel the same way with swag. Oh, yeah. Thank God for Justin Bieber.

Thank... Tgif. What happened?

Tgif, and not to bring up to pangup. She's often dancing with the stars this year.

Can I make an announcement? Yeah. I think I'm going to I've never watched it. I've never watched it either.

You're just feeling... Are you feeling old-school reality TV? Did you have to- No. Okay. I was like, is that you're trying to get into competition?

No, it's more like, first of all, my TikTok is just full of all of them. Then I realized they all do incredible TikToks. There's a Gen Z that works at dancing with the stars because these... No offense, but these guys are dancing, training intensely. They're not also coming up with incredible TikTok strategy.

The social media Social Media team for that show is- Social Media team is killing it.

Every day I'm like, I'm- That's the only reason I knew anything that was going on with Brooks & Gleb.

I didn't watch the show.

I think I might watch it because there's also more people that I know. Sometimes I feel like it used to be they just get people who were on a TV show 20 years ago or an athlete that broke his ACL and doesn't know what to do.

I love a former athlete coming back to do something.

Yeah. You're He has CTE, but- Find your passion. But he's figuring it out. So I think I might watch it. Okay.

And this is coming from- It's so crazy because I might watch The Bachelor this year.

Oh, well, that is another level of time consuming. Oh, because of Taylor. Mm-hmm. Franky?

Paul.

We. Okay, recently on TikTok- You're Ruby Franky. Both Norman.

I I've been getting a lot of nostalgia videos. I want to bring back shopping from a catalog. Obviously, it's being taken over by shopping online, but do you remember being young and your mom getting the Victoria's Secret catalog and going through and circling different things, and then she'd physically call and order what she wanted?

She was like, number 8, 7, 4, 3, 2. I I would fuck that up.

The Women in Step, just thinking about there was a group of women ready to receive these phone calls from a group of women who are at home being like, Okay, number eight.

This was an underground economy that people didn't know of. But what's crazy about those magazines is it was used two ways. It was Girls Like Us being like, Mom, I really want this crop top. And then just men jerking off to it.

I I didn't even think of that.

They didn't have- Wait, that's disgusting. Because men didn't have porn back then. They had to find magazines. Or they had to draw it. Men would draw boobs and jerk off to it from memory.

Why? I guess that never crossed my mind that a 13-year-old boy back then getting pumped for their mom to get The Summer Victoria's Secret Catalog.

I was going to look at it and I'm like, Why is it crispy? Why are the pages crispy? Daniel.

Wait, that's so vial.

So vial. I also had a friend who got in trouble because he was printing out a photo of boobs or a photo of a woman, and his mom caught him mid-print. What are you doing? He got in big trouble.

One time, I was at my friend's house in seventh grade, and we were playing in her basement, and we found all of her dad's dirty magazines. I was just We want it.

Also, this is-Wow, that made my eye twit. This is TMI, but my brother was 13 or 14, and he went to camp, and my parents got a call, and they were freaking out. They were like, We have to tell you something. In his cabin, one of the boys brought disturbing material that he may or may not have seen. And my parents were like, What did he see? They really got scared. And they were like, It was a photo of girls in bikinis. And my dad was like, Okay. Can you bring it back?

But I guess they had to warn them. Let me see. Let me see what he saw.

Let me double check. Also, when they were like, he saw it, they were like, he may or may not have seen a kid brought that in. But anyway, that was what men were busy doing instead of learning about consent. Do you think Purple Lettuce thinks it's better than other lettuces? Lettuci.

Yes. Because when I'm eating Purple Lettuce or a A tricoloured carrot?

You stop and you go, You're gorgeous.

If I have a tricoloured carrot on my plate-Your tax bracket has changed. My tax bracket has changed. I know more languages than you do.

I feel like the purple lettuce knows, and it's always curly in a way where it's just like... You could put it on a dress, and it always comes out of nowhere. You're gnawing on your rabbit food, and then you're like, Who is she?

Are you just talking about I don't know enough about the lettuce species to be able to...

What is the... I'm starting this new thing. I tried to eat salads last week. It didn't work.

Wait, I texted Grace recently, and she was like, Sorry, Hannah's not responding because she's in a Pilates class.

And I was just like, What? I'm trying to be healthy before I go on tour.

I've been realizing that.

Before I go on tour.

Oh, are you sticking to the rule on tour where there's no eating after at 11: 00 No. Oh, you haven't stuck to it? Funny, because last year we had to stick to it. Yeah, because last year you tried to put me in a caloric deficit, and I was famished. This year, you're willy-nilly just ordering whatever. I don't know what town you're even in. You're so stuffed.

I did get a really good Mexican bowl on Saturday.

Wait, the other day, Hannah sent me-I was eating my feelings after I embarrassed myself in front of all the girls above low. Hannah sent me and Grace in our group a picture of her being out to brunch by herself. Honestly, it was such a mom text. When your mom's somewhere with your dad, we're at brunch and it's just like, Okay, but is dad there?

You're so right. You're so valid. I could have taken a cuter photo, but I was texting you guys and then just pulled a photo that I took on my own randomly. It wasn't esthetic and it wasn't cool.

But just from the I could tell that whatever town you're in, you found the most amazing diner. A couple key things I could tell from said amazing diner. The blurry photo. The wooden table. A good wooden table, they mean business. When the condiments are already on the table because they know you're going to meet up.

You're about to go in.

When you have ketchup, salt, pepper, they even have their napkins in there.

Spicy I have. Also, when you order, you don't order anything. You just say, Fuck me up, fam. Also, do you know how you know it's going to be fucking good? When the utensils are wrapped in a paper napkin. They're not just sitting on a napkin.

Don't give me a cloth.

Not a cloth. But also, I don't want just a napkin sitting. They're going so fast that they're just- Have you ever seen someone wrap those up and then put the thing on?

No.

Is it like people doing dominoes boxes?

No, it's like they can go so fast.

Also, this place, it was in San Francisco. I also had juices, which...

Also, I want a plastic water cup.

I wanted it to be so abnormally big. There's no way I could finish it.

And discolored.

Discolored. Cloudy. Yeah, I got pancakes for the table, and by the table, I meant my table.

Yeah. My God, my eyes really twitching.

There's pop culture stuff going on that I want to bring up. Okay. Hilary Duff.

Getting back in the studio. Well, I don't want to bring up an old rivalry, but I would say we are watching Lindsay live her best life, look phenomenal. She just did Freaky Friday. They had redone Mean Girls. She went to the premiere. She's on every cover. She looks phenomenal.

People are like, She has Verizon ads.

She lives her life in Dubai. She's a mom. No was bringing up Hilary Duff, and I think maybe she's going to have a resurgence because of that.

And not to pit women against women, but I think maybe there was some inspiration.

Certainly not pitting women against women, although I just did. But I do find it ironic that they did have a beef back then, and now they're both...

I'm so sad for that. The millennials are excited. Grace, do you remember Hilary Duff at all? Yes. Yeah. What do you remember? Cadet Kelly. Cadet Kelly? Okay.

Like Lizzie McGuire.

Lizzie McGuire.

I feel like you all loved Cadet Kelly.

I feel like I loved Compossible more.

So you.

I also did all the Disney double team movies. Whenever there was a sport and the girl came in, I was like, She's awesome.

See, I loved Lindsay Lohan, Got to get a clue. She was wearing cool outfits. Yeah. Okay. Anywho.

Another pop culture topic. Neve, from the catfishing show, is now- Is it Nive? Nive. It's Nive. Is it Nive?

I think it goes by both.

Because Nive- I think he's not picky. Nive is also an Irish name spelled N-A-I-M-G-P-H or something.

I want to say it's Nive, but Who am I?

You. Buffalo. Boston. He is in real estate now. He just announced. It's very casual on a city bike. He's like, If anyone needs help with their homes, I'm selling real estate.

Wait, what happened to Catfish?

I think it's done.

It's done?

Yeah. But maybe he always had a passion for homes. Maybe the whole time, he didn't really care about- You know what we say about real estate?

No, I'm going to- You're in a dark place.

You're in a dark place.

Wake 7 says, I'll be a real estate agent today. That's for ex-NFL players who are one bad day away from really losing it. They got to buy a building or something.

I guess for people who are people-people, talking to people, and they have connections through the industry, it could help.

I'm actually not going to knock it because...

We support men in the arts.

No, I support having a normal job. He spent so much of his life being a TV be host and be in the public.

Do you know how he got famous? He was catfish. He got catfish and did a documentary. Yeah.

So I feel like the last 20 years, he probably wants something that's a little more structured, maybe. He's not really traveling that much. It's chill. People know him. People would walk in and see a familiar face and probably want him to be his real estate agent just because of that. Honestly, I take back everything.

If anyone needs an apartment. You know I'm moving. You'd be such... There's another life where you live in Kansas, and you are the it girl of real estate. Every single bench in that town is you. And you're wearing a power suit. The best outfit. Your glam is incredible. No one's ever seen you without full glam.

They call me penthouse page.

And there's no penthouses in Kansas.

That's really sexual, actually. That actually sounds like my OnlyFans page. I take that back. Parkway I pay... No, not still that good.

And you don't actually make eye contact with any of your clients, but- I've thought about real estate, and you know what knocks me down every time?

I'm not doing math in my adult age. I've moved on. I'm past that.

Do you have to do math?

You have to know square footage. You have to know... There is numbers, and I'm like, actually, no.

Did you watch Selling Sunset?

Not really. I don't... If I'm watching a real estate show, it's because I genuinely want to see the houses in the real estate. I do find that interesting. I don't care about the real estate agent drama.

It was a lot of them getting out of the Yukon SUV slowly so they could see.

It's a lot of arrivals and departs. There's nothing Netflix reality shows love more than arrivals.

And a non-copyrighted music background.

Yeah, and a strut.

She's a sexy Yeah, she's sexy.

No, Netflix will. It's hard for a slow strut.

It really does. Or it's not slow, but they go slow-mo.

If you're looking for the perfect stackable rings, I feel like I'm always on the hunt for a really good stack of mini cute rings, then Majori is the place to go. I actually just got this gold and silver. It's like intertwined ring because I feel like so many people are You're either gold or you're either silver. But sometimes I need to be both because I can't make up my mind. Majore is created for women by women, and Majore is breaking down barriers in what has been a long, exclusive, and occasional category of men buying jewelry for women. I love gifting myself, especially jewelry, and Majore has all price points. There's clearly a reason it's one of the most loved jewelry brands out there because it really does have everything you're looking for. I also love stacking my earrings. I have three holes in each ear, so I love buying cute little things that go with whatever look I'm doing that day. Start stacking your favorites and shop online or visit majori. Com to find a store near you.

Heading off to college, at Harvey Norman, we have all the tech you need for the new term. Get specialists advice on our range of next-gen AI laptops and notebooks designed to help you work smarter Remember, create more and play harder. Your AI data stay secure on your PC without compromising performance. Power through tasks with multi-day battery life. Boost productivity with time-saving tools. Plus, meet your personal AI, continuously learning and tailored to you. And with flexible payment options in our best price guarantee, why shop anywhere else? Harvey Norman, off to college. Acast recommends.

This is John from the David McWilliams podcast.

Now, if you're looking to make sense of what's happening in the world, you Economically, politically, culturally, you'll find it here. We take the big ideas shaping your life and we break them down in a way that's clear, curious, and actually worth your time. New episodes every Tuesday and Thursday. Follow the David McWilliams podcast wherever you get your podcasts. Acast is home one of the world's best podcasts, including Crime World, The Other Hand, and the one you're listening to right now. I also hung out with Vamp Weekend. They're a band. Chris knows them. Chris knows them. How old are they? I'm not into the city. I'm on a Jemaduna, Monster Weekend. Do they have another ballad of some sort? I'm not... That one's not clicking. These guys, they're just in a band. What is it? Vampire what? Weekend. They're very like... They popped off 10 years ago. I was like, How's tour, guys? They were like, Good. Where'd you meet them? At the airport. Because there's a girl in their band who's also a comedian who's a genius and also does Violin, Isabelle. She's This is an ADHD conversation. I feel like I've ever been a part of.

How do we even get here? I thought you were going to know who Vampire Weekend is, but because you don't- Really? Do you even know me? Does that sound like something I would know what the fuck that is? Nelly? And I'm like, no. I thought you were talking about Vampire Diaries, and you were going to bring up that the star of Vampire Diaries just broke up with her fiancé. Shall we talk about Nina? Shall we? She's having so much fun on Instagram. The rumor is that he cheated on her. Then We did a TikTok that was-Iconic. Basically like-Clid Ferme at Fuck You. Yeah. I think they were engaged for five years. I'm going to be honest, I never saw them together. Yeah. This is also-Look, sometimes I like an ugly guy with a really hot girl. I didn't want to say it. Sometimes I'm a huge fan of that. I didn't want to say it, but-But they were taking it to the limit. That one. This is the thing. There are handsome gingers out there. A hundred %. There are talented gingers out there, and there are Kind gingers out there. This one in particular, I think it's giving she gave him too much confidence.

She made him cool. That's what it is. Snowboarders need to calm down. As a former skier, when I was skiing, everyone was so polite, Excuse me, whatever. Then I'd fucking die. I almost got murdered. No, they're all... They literally are like... A group of 14-year-old snowboarders? No, they rob you? I And then they steal your glasses and then you're scared and freezing. And then they give you the finger as they go down every time. I don't trust a snowboarder. I don't like them. They literally take my glasses, slap them back at me, give me the finger, ski down and take all the hot chocolate. I don't know. No, they get off on scaring people. They're like those kids on Halloween that throw eggs with Nair in them. Those You're snowboarders. It's not a thing. Oh, my God. In the city? Yeah. Oh, my God. That's intense. Okay, so shout out to Nina. We love you. Wow. Your list is crazy. My list is crazy. Oh, can we bring back a saying? Yeah. Can we please start saying, That shit's whack? Can we say, Whack, at least? I feel like... That's so whack. So whack. I don't know.

As I said, I allowed it. No, I feel like I've said it recently. Wack. Wack was my everything. Everything was like, it's Wack. It's funny because on TikTok, there's a lot of Gen Z people making videos of four millennials. Hey, here's things we don't say anymore. Here's things that you said that means the same thing here. Wack is such a great word to describe anything. Say, I feel the same way with swag. Oh, yeah. Thank God for Justin Bieber. Tgif. What What happened? Djaf, and not to bring up to pangup, she's on dancing with the stars this year. Can I make an announcement? Yeah. I think I'm going to watch dancing with the stars this year. Really? I've never watched it. I've never watched it either. You're just feeling... Are you feeling old-school reality TV? Did you have to... No. Okay. I was like, is that you're trying to get into competition? No, it's more like, first of all, my TikTok is just full of all of them. Then I realized they all do incredible TikToks. There's a Gen Z that works at Dancing with the Stars. No offense, but these guys are training intensely.

They're not also coming up with incredible TikTok strategies. The social media team for that show is- Social media team is killing it. Every day, I'm like, I'm- That's the only reason I knew anything that was going on with Brooks & Glebs. I didn't watch the show. I think I might watch it because there's also more people that I know I don't know. Sometimes I feel like it used to be they just get people who were on a TV show 20 years ago or an athlete that broke his ACL and doesn't know what to do. I love a former athlete coming back to do something. Yeah. And you're like, he has CTE, but- Find your passion. But he's figuring it out. So I think I might watch it. Okay. And this is coming from- It's so crazy because I might watch The Bachelorette this year. Oh, well, that is another level of time consuming. Oh, because of Taylor. Mm-hmm. Frankie? Paul. Wait. Okay, recently on TikTok-Ruby Franky. Both Norman. I've been getting a lot of nostalgia videos. I want to bring back shopping from a catalog. Obviously, it's being taken over by shopping online, but do you remember being Young and your mom getting the Victoria's Secret catalog and going through and circling different things.

And then she'd physically call and order what she wanted. She was like, number 8, 7, 4, 3, 2. I would fuck that up. The Women in Stem, just thinking about there was a group of women ready to receive these phone calls from a group of women who are at home being like, Okay, number 8. This was an underground economy that people didn't know of. But it was crazy about those magazines. It was used two ways. It was girls like us being like, Mom, I really want this crop top. And then just men jerking off to it. I didn't even think of that. They didn't have-That's disgusting. Because men didn't have porn back then. They had to find magazines. Or they had to draw it. Men would draw and jerk off to it from memory. Why? I guess that never crossed my mind that a 13-year-old boy back then getting pumped for their mom to get the summer Victoria's secret catalog. I was going to look at it and I'm like, Why is it crispy? Why is the page as crispy? Daniel. Wait, that's so vial. So vial. I also had a friend who got in trouble because he was printing out a photo of boobs or a photo of a woman, and his mom caught him mid-print.

What are you doing? We're in big trouble. One time, I was at my friend's house in seventh grade, and we were playing in her basement, and we found all of her dad's dirty magazines. And I was just like, Wait, what? Also, this is-Wow, that made my eye twit. This is TMI, but my brother was 13 or 14, and he went to camp, and my parents got a call, and they were freaking out. They were like, We have to tell you something. In his cabin, one of the boys brought disturbing material that he may or may not have seen. And my parents were like, What did he see? They really got scared. And they were like, It was a photo of girls in bikinis. And my dad was like, Okay, can you bring it back? But I guess they had to warn them. I'm like, We'll send a picture. Let me see. Let me see what he saw. Let me double check. Also, when they were like, He saw it, they were like, He may or may not have seen. A kid brought that in. But Anyway, that was what men were busy doing instead of learning about consent.

Do you think purple lettuce thinks it's better than other lettuces? Lettuci. Yes. Because when I'm eating purple lettuce or a colored carrot- You stop and you go, You're gorgeous. If I have a tricolored carrot on my plate- Your tax bracket has changed. My tax bracket has changed. I know more languages than you do. I feel like the purple lettuce knows, and it's always curly in a way where it's just like, you could put it on a dress. It always comes out of nowhere. You're like, gnawing on your rabbit food, and then you're like, who is she? Are you just talking about like, cabbage? I don't know enough about the lettuce species. What is the purple? I'm starting this new thing. I tried to eat salads last week. It didn't work. Wait, I texted Grace recently, and she was like, sorry, Hannah's not because she's in a Pilates class. And I was just like, what? I'm trying to be healthy before I go on tour. I've been realizing that. Before I go on tour. Oh, are you sticking to the rule on tour where there's no eating after at 11: 00 PM? No. Oh, you haven't stuck to it.

Funny, because last year we had to stick to it. Yeah, because last year you tried to put me in a caloric deficit, and I was famished. This year, you're willy-nilly just ordering whatever. I don't know what town you're even in. You're so stuffed. I did get a really good Mexican bowl on Saturday. The other day, Hannah sent me-I was eating my feelings after I embarrassed myself in front of all the girls above low. Hannah sent me and Grace in our group chat a picture of her being out to brunch by herself. Honestly, I'm such a mom text. When your mom's somewhere with your dad, we're at brunch, and It's just like the table. It's like, Okay, but is dad there? You're so right. You're so valid. I could have taken a cuter photo, but I was texting you guys and then just pulled a photo that I took on my own randomly. It wasn't esthetic, and it wasn't cool. But just from the photo, I could tell that whatever town you were in, you found the most amazing diner. A couple of key things I could tell from the said amazing diner. The blurry photo.

The wooden table. A good Wood, wooden table, they mean business. When the condiments are already on the table because they know you're going to meet up. You're about to go in. When you have ketchup, salt, pepper, they even have their napkins in there. Spicy stuff. Also, when you order, you don't order anything. You just say, Fuck me up, fam. Also, do you know how you know it's going to be fucking good? When the utensils are wrapped in a paper napkin. They're not just sitting on a napkin. Don't give me a cloth. Not a cloth, but also I don't want just a napkin sitting. I want it like they're going so fast that they're just- Have you ever seen someone wrap those up and then put the thing on? No. Is it like people doing dominoes boxes? No, it's like they can go so fast. Also this place, it was in San Francisco. They also had juices, which like... Also, I want a plastic water cup. I want it to be so abnormally big. There's no way I could finish it. And discolored. Discolored? Cloudy. Yeah, I I have pancakes for the table, and by the table, I meant my table.

Yeah. Oh my God, my eyes really twitching. There's pop culture stuff going on that I want to bring up. Okay. Hilary Duff. Getting back in the studio. Well, I don't want to bring up an old rivalry, but I would say we are watching Lindsay live her best life, look phenomenal. She just did Freaky Friday. They had redone mean girls. She went to the premiere. She's on every cover. She looks phenomenal. People are like, She lives her own- She has Verizon ads. She lives her life in Dubai. She's a mom. No one was bringing up Hilary Duff. I think maybe she's going to have a resurgence because of that. Not to pit women against women, but I think maybe there is some inspiration. Certainly not pitting women against women, although I just did. But I do find it ironic that they did have a beef back then, and now they're both... I'm so sad for that. The millennials are excited. Grace, do you remember Hilary Duff at all? Yes. What do you remember? Cadet Kelly. Cadet Kelly? Okay. Like Lizzie McGuire. Lizzie McGuire. I feel like you loved Cadet Kelly. I feel like I loved Compossible more.

So you. I also did all the Disney double team movies. Whenever there was a sport and the girl came in, I was like, She's awesome. See, I loved Lindsay Lohan, Got to get a clue. She was wearing cool outfits. Yeah. Okay. Anywho. Another pop culture topic. Neve, from the catfishing show, is now- Is it Nive? Nive. It's Nive. Is it Neeve? I think it goes by both. Because Neeve- I think he's not picky. Neeve is also an Irish name spelled N-A-I-M-G-P-H or something. I want to say it's Neeve, but who am I? Okay, could be- Who am I? Neeve, Buffalo, Boston. He is in real estate now. He just announced. It's very casual on a city bike. He's like, If anyone needs help with their homes, I'm selling real estate. Wait, what happened to Catfish? I think it's done. It's done. It's done? Yeah. But maybe he always had a passion for homes. Maybe the whole time, he didn't really care about- You know what we say about real estate? No, I'm going to say good time. You're in a dark place. Wake 7 says, I'll be a real estate agent today. That's for ex-NFL players who are one bad day away from really losing it.

They got to buy a building or something. I guess for people who are people-people, talking to people, and They have connections to the industry. It could help. I'm actually not going to knock it because-We support men in the arts. No, I support having a normal job. He spent so much of his life being a TV host and being in the public. Do you know how he got famous? He got catfish and did a documentary. Yeah. So I feel like the last 20 years, he probably wants something that's a little more structured, maybe. He's really traveling that much. It's chill. People know him. People would walk in and see a familiar face and probably want him to be his real estate agent just because of that. Honestly, I take back everything. If anyone needs an apartment- You know what? I'm moving. You'd be such- I'm moving. There's another life where you live in Kansas, and you are the it girl of real estate. Every single bench in that town is you. You're wearing a power suit The best of them. Your glam is incredible. No one's ever seen you without full glam. They call me penthouse page.

And there's no penthouses in Kansas. That's really sexual, actually. That actually sounds like my OnlyFans page. I take that back. Parkway... No, not still that good. And you don't actually make eye contact with any of your clients. I've thought about real estate, and you know what knocks me down every time? I'm not doing math in my adult age. I've moved on. I'm past that. Do you have to You have to know square footage. You have to know there is numbers. I'm like, actually, no. Did you watch Selling Sunset? Not really. If I'm watching a real estate show, it's because I genuinely want to see the houses in the real estate. I do find that interesting. I don't care about the real estate agent drama. It was a lot of them getting out of the Yukon SUV slowly so I could see. It's a lot of arrivals and departs a lot. It's a lot of arrivals and leaving. There's nothing Netflix reality shows love more than arrivals. And a non-copyrighted music background. Yeah, and a strut. She's sexy. She's a sexy one. Yeah, she's sexy. No, Netflix gets hard for a slow strut. Or it's not slow, but they go slow-mo.

If you're looking for the perfect stackable I feel like I'm always on the hunt for a really good stack of mini cute rings, then Majori is the place to go. I actually just got this gold and silver. It's like intertwined ring because I feel like so many people are like, You're either gold or you're either silver. But sometimes I need to be both because I can't make up my mind. Majori is created for women by women, and Majori is breaking down barriers in what has been a long, exclusive, and occasional category of men buying jewelry for women. I love gifting myself, especially jewelry. And Majore has all price points. There's clearly a reason it's one of the most loved jewelry brands out there because it really does have everything you're looking for. I also love stacking my earrings. I have three holes in each ear, so I love buying cute little things that go with whatever look I'm doing that day. So start stacking your favorites and shop online or visit majore. Com to find a store near you. Heading off to college, at Harvey Norman, we have all the tech you need for the new term.

Get specialists advice on our range of next-gen AI laptops and notebooks designed to help you work smarter, create more, and play harder. Your AI data stay secure on your PC without compromising performance.

Power through tasks with multi-day battery life. Boost productivity with time-saving tools. Plus, meet your personal AI, continuously learning and tailored to you. And with flexible payment options in This price guarantee. Why shop anywhere else? Harvey Norman, off to college. This is John from the David McWilliams podcast. Now, if you're looking to make sense of what's happening in the world, economically, politically, culturally, you'll find it here. We take the big ideas shaping your life, and we break them down in a way that's clear, curious, and actually worth your time. New episodes every Tuesday and Thursday.

Follow the David McWilliams podcast wherever Get your podcasts.

A-cast is home to the world's best podcasts, including Crime World, The Other Hand, and the one you're listening to right now. How's your fantasy football team doing?

Thank you for bringing that up. We're not done with this weekend of playing, but I played Taylor Strecker's wife, who's pregnant, and I beat that bitch. I said, Oh, you're hermana. You're busy growing a baby. Look, you could come to play.

And lose or lose. What are we to say?

Taylor Donahue. Look, come for the beast. You're going to get eaten. That's what they say. Big dog got to eat.

She's like, I'm literally just trying to...

She's also like, I didn't even want to play in this league. I'm texting her.

She's like, I thought it was something fun.

I'm literally texting her, the mom from the documentary. I'm like, You stupid bitch, why would you pick? Why How did you pick that running back? Are you fucking stupid and dumb and ugly?

Wow, are you going to know how to parent your kid? You can't even parent this team. Who's putting you in charge of anything. Wait, I love Taylor and we're being silly.

We love the Taylor. I want them to adopt me. The Taylor's are like... Taylor is why I got into podcasting. Anyway, until Adonna, you edited Burning in Hell for three years. No way. People don't know that. She likes to be behind the scenes, but I just put her up last on my podcast.

So is your team overall doing well.

You know who's also in my league? Andrew Colin.

Last year, I said I was going to do this league with you.

Is that my fault?

I forgot. No, I thought of it when everyone was like, Oh, I have my fantasy draft next week. And I had a moment where I was like, Should I do it with Hannah?

It takes zero effort.

Well, then I remembered that I really don't care.

Yeah, but you'd be so surprised. It's like the girls who go on The Bachelor who were like, This guy is ugly. I don't care. And then you see eight girls get worked up about him, and suddenly you're like, If he doesn't want to marry me, I'll freak out.

It would go one of two ways for me. I'd either be so into it and competitive and be refreshing all the time, or a Tamagotchi I forget I had it. I'd be like, Am I Tamagotchi?

Done. The thing is, you get notifications. So it's basically me just feeding my high for temporary happiness. So if a guy gets a touch down, it's like, You just got 12 points. And every week, It's all luck.

What do you win at the end?

Some money. But it's not about the money. It's about the love of the game. It's about telling your- Then you're probably not going to do it. No, but when I... Andrew Colin had a better draft than me, and he was all like,. That's how he talks. I'm ready to play him. You are. Andrew, I'm coming for you.

You were really close to winning last year, right?

I was close to winning.

I remember that.

But thanks for bringing that up. Because guess what close to winning is? It means you're a fucking loser. But it's really yelling at guys for spraining an ankle. If a guy sprains an ankle, he ruins your score. I'm like, Look where you're walking, bro.

Yeah, I get that. Speaking Speaking of- The Chiefs lost their first two games, which is crazy. Wait, did you see Taylor Swift had to walk in? She walked into the game- Behind the thing. Like a bulletproof something, walked behind something. I don't know. Very scary.

Very scary. No one was able to see her in the stadium? I don't think so. Yeah. Can I say something controversial? Yeah. There's a girl on TikTok, because I'm back on TikTok, who shaved her head but didn't ask her husband for permission.

Okay.

And then he saw it and said, I'm not attracted to you. You have to wear wigs around me. And the internet is a gasp. And I'm going to be honest, it's giving G. I. Jane chic. When a girl shaves her head, it's not even about whether you look good or bad. It's the confidence you exude. It's clearly a look.

Maybe ask your wife if everything's okay, rather than just hitting her with, Don't speak to me.

No, he's literally like, Don't speak to me. I'm not attracted to you. And marriage is about attraction.

I bring up the word 'bangs' and you're immediately like, And is everything okay at home? Yes.

I mean, so everyone's mad being like, Fuck this guy. But yeah, I think the first sign was not that he isn't talking to her. I think it's that she thought about shaving her head. It's not that shaving your head is a bad thing, but when you want to make a drastic change to your hair, normally it means you want a drastic change in your life.

Yeah, like something's going on. I think she hates him.

He just proved- He proved that they don't like each other. If you are staying with someone... Look, I've had so many boyfriends that walk in with the dumbest haircut where I look at them and I'm like, The fact I'm associated with you. It pains me right now. But then you take a breath and you go, It'll grow out. We're good.

I think there's a lot of times on TikTok where girls will post something about their relationship or their boyfriend will literally be in the back of the TikTok, but he's not smiling ear to ear. People are like, He hates you. He hates you. He probably doesn't. He's doing it. But then there are times where it's so apparent, where it's like, you got to get out of that relationship. My thing where I always, I feel like, notice it is, and only because I had a boyfriend once who was obsessed with talking about this, and I was like, you have mental issues. If you want to shove cake in your wife's face, I think that you are one of- You hate women.

You hate women.

Yeah, you are on a misogynistic level that you actually don't even realize.

Are you talking wedding day? Yes.

I had a boyfriend who would actively, I'm not getting, argue with me that if I You didn't let him smush cake in my face on the wedding day that I wasn't fun. But that's not even a thing. I was like, But that's not in the Bible. But why would you ever want to take your- No, I've never said anything that you need to...

It's just supposed to feed it to each other.

Leave the take out of it. Why would you ever want to take your hand and smush it into my face like that on an aggressive level?

No. Also, you're ruining the glam.

Also, the day I have glam, we're only here so that I can get the shot.

I want my husband to barely kiss my lips because he knows that he doesn't want to mess it up. Give me an air kiss. Give me an air kiss. Wait, the smash of the face, that's not funny.

And so that's something that I always had such a visceral reaction to whenever I see that on TikTok where they put cake in each other's mouth. I'm like, No, I don't like it.

No, not at all. There's one thing if the two of them are like, We're quirky.

Yeah, we're quirky. We're doing it at the same time. Open your mouth like that. We push a little. But guys that are smushing it and she's backing up.

Do you know what it feels like? It feels like they're doing it for their boys, which is- That's exactly what it is.

We waited long enough. We have to bring up Charlie Sheen. No, I've been trying to watch it for the past three nights because I get falling asleep.

How are you falling asleep during that? I know. I was getting jolted. I literally clutched my pearls. I've seen a lot in this life. I was a gasp. I was going, Oh.

No, there were so many things that I was just... If you have I haven't watched it. It's phenomenal. First thing I want to point out, the editing of it.

Spectacular.

Spectacular.

The cinematography, spectacular. I like how it felt like you were on a-Put anyone in a diner chatting?

They're going to give it up.

I'm in to it. That's why. That's what it is. If you put people in diners, suddenly they lose all privacy, and they're just like, Let me lay it out. That was my biggest note about it, is this man did not have to say...

You couldn't water her. Some of that info out of that.

He did not have to say... He could have said 10% of what he said, and I would have been like, That's a great documentary about Charlie Sheen. At one point, you could see they were like, Hey, we're done, Charlie. He was like, What more do you want? I'm going to give you guys an example. This doesn't give anything away. He tells a story about being really high on set, that his eyes were really heavy, and that finally the director noticed enough to pull him aside and was like, You look like you're falling asleep during your scenes. I think he's going to say, Oh, I'm going to do a snort some cocaine. Yeah. As one would do. Would. As Charlie Sheen would do. He goes, I go get some ice, shove it up my butt hole. And he says this deadpan and goes back. That was the best thing.

He was telling the craziest stories, but he was telling it to you as if he was like, I just went down to the deli, got us a couple of sodas, and they're in the kitchen. Do you want one? It's how he was like, I took an ice cube, shoved it up my asshole, won an Oscar. As you do, yes. And then...

Sorry, I didn't mean to But I'm feeling the emotions. I don't know where Sean Penn, who, by the way, I've never even seen him give an interview before, shows up with his friend.

Something was going on there.

I think either he had something on him, he lost a bet. Sean Penn, Oscar-winning actor is just like, Can I say one of his quotes? He goes, You know, most guys, when they do cocaine, their dicks get weak. Imagine doing cocaine and your dick gets stronger. That's Charlie Sheen. The way I just said, what?

The eroticness of this documentary was so phenomenal. I took away a couple of top-tier things. One, Charlie Sheen has a phenomenal family. Sounds like his dad and his brothers, great humans. Two, where's the mom? Why didn't they bring up the mom? Was there a mom?

Where's she? Well, that's what happens when the mom is not- Where is she?

Where is she? Where is she? Kidnapped. What is she? Where is she? Where is she? Where is she? Where is she? Where is she? Where is she?

In hiding. Witness protection. I literally Google Charlie Sheen's mom, and she exists, but not one part of the document. But they didn't bring her up.

Maybe she's just so private.

But That's crazy when your whole family is in the public eye.

I wanted the dad to be on more, and I wanted the brother to be on more, and I wanted his kids on more.

Okay, you sound like a producer. Calm down. She's like, I want his first child.

I need another season.

I want It's a HIV test.

Denise still loves him. And you want to know what? I love Denise. I do not fault her for a single second because when she tells the story of them meeting and hanging out, yeah, he was sober, he was a normal person, and she probably still loves that version.

I don't remember fully from watching Beverly Hills, but she drops the F-bomb every three seconds in the best way.

I'm a big Denise She was a James Richards fan.

They did her so wrong on that show, by the way. They should have treated her with care and respect so that she had a long career on that show.

Well, you want to know what? They were all jealous of her because she was a genuinely famous person.

And the most beautiful woman to ever live.

She was a sex symbol. And then was coming on the show and they all wanted to be like, You're better than you.

And that's why she should have been protected to not make her look crazy when she was getting attacked. But the thing with The dad and the brother.

And she was remarried to a freak psycho. Wait, is she still with him? No, they're getting a divorce, thank God. Oh, yeah. He was like a weird- Very strange.

Very strange bird. He was just like big jawline. That was just a jawline marriage.

Strange man.

Yeah, strange man. So Charlie Sheen goes, My brother and my dad did not want to be in the documentary. I'm like, I'm pretty sure they wouldn't want you to say that if they didn't want to be associated with it. But I totally get that. They've probably been through so much. They're just like, We don't want to add to it.

It's just been his whole life.

But It is a case of nepotism for sure. However, he's a genius.

Well, I was going to say my other big takeaway is, how many chances do men get? How many? God. I mean, this man ruined his life more times than he was successful. And every time the general public and TV... He was in rehab having his agent being like, You can do any movie you want. They'll have you. If that That was a woman or any other person.

The crazy story, which I was surprised, he said, was about him and Nicolas Cage, which, by the way, I didn't know Nicolas Cage was the biggest party boy.

Do you think Nicolas Cage is somewhere being like, Oh, what?

Send me a text first. Nicolas Cage did not agree to be in that. The stories he told about Nicolas Cage, it made me, this is sick, but it made me like Nicolas Cage more. Well, I'm like, Oh, yeah, his brain is burned.

Oh, I didn't realize you were that much of a freak.

So they go on an airplane. Nicolas Cage takes the mic and tells them... Going down. They're going down. Which, by the way, where's the bit? Where's the bit in that. So everyone freaks out. When they land, there's cops. And Charlie goes, Well, good thing they were a fan. And they were just like, Don't do that again. Imagine if a female celebrity did that.

No. Imagine if anyone did that. If any The other person did that. No, it's crazy.

And then when he got to rehab, how... They let him leave. Nicolas Cage texted him and says, Hey, there's a bikini judging contest in Palm Springs. And he goes, So I had to go to that.

He was like, Hold on, let me get out of this rehab thing. Nicolas Cage is like, sick.

He told the lady, If I'm not back by 8: 00 AM, I'll give you a million dollars. And he got back by 7: 40.

I just think it's a great documentary. And the last thing that I took away from it, push your man, and he'll turn gay. They all have the capacity to go to the other side, and I know that.

The way he described it was actually so iconic. He goes, You ever just eat from the same menu every day? And then one day you're like, Let's flip it to the other side. And the guy goes, Do you regret it? And he goes, No. I wanted to taste the menu from the other side. But he didn't say he was- But he basically said Did that happened because he was getting off of crack.

And so that felt good for whatever reason. And that's the first time it ever happened. So he probably did so many drugs. His whole brain was rewired. And I know some that don't need crack.

But it's also funny because he wasn't like, Oh, I had to suck a guy's dick to get the water for the fire festival. There was no threat involved. He was like, I wanted to do It's brilliant. Which, by the way, the way he said it, though, was so eloquent.

He had a Jenna, say, quoi.

I was like, yeah. I think he's bi and more men should be able to be bi.

I mean, I'm part of the problem. I'm obsessed with him now. I will give him another chance. I think he should go back to acting. Here's actually... No, he actually shouldn't go back to acting. Here's one thing that no one said the entire time. I don't think his problem really was... I mean, he obviously had a lot of problems.

They never got to the root of it.

He couldn't be famous. It was the Fame. It wasn't like the working, it wasn't the movies. It wasn't like he had to get up early and memorize these lines. He could obviously do that so easily. It was genuinely the Fame. He probably had so many people watching everything he did, talking about everything he did, wanted to see, and it got too much and no one- But I also think people always say, Okay, if you're a problem with alcohol, there are all ways of coping with the bigger problems.

But they made his childhood seem pretty good.

Yeah, his childhood seemed fine.

His dad was an addict, too, and was going through stuff. But yeah, the way his family stood by him to this day. To this day, they sound great. Even though he is a good example of you can fuck up so many times. And as a man, Hollywood will take you back. But in terms of your relationships, you can-Rebuild. You can try to rebuild. Even though he wasn't there for his daughter, is now taking that time, which is great.

No, it was a really good documentary.

I have to say one thing that made me reflect on society a little. I love when we get serious.

Okay, no, but when he- Hannah and Peter are never serious on the bottom. Yeah, we are.

Who would ask us to be serious? Because the second I am, people are like, I'm here for laughter. Make me laugh, clown. I will. So he's on crazy testosterone. He's addicted to every drug, and he goes on his hashtag winning. Which I forgot about that. I remember it pretty clearly because every Everyone... He's going on-We were in college. We were young, but he's doing all these crazy interviews saying the craziest thing because he's so crazy on testosterone. He's like, I got tiger blood. And the way people responded was like, This guy I'll put him on tour.

He's awesome.

People were like, He's saying all the things that we all want to say.

Put him in the theater. Give him a marquee.

So when you see a very loud, crazy man, it doesn't always mean he's right.

No, it is crazy. I wish they did dive into the team that was around him at that time, signing him up to sell tickets to shows and perform.

He did 60 days in a row. That's when he started doing anal. Yeah, and so would I. Have we thought about it? You know what?

Now I got it. You need somebody to take that job.

She goes, And then we were in Denver, and I took a beta blocker. I just shoved it on my box and I went on stage. The gigglers, they become desensitized. They have to go... Oh, God. I do have to say I did have a woman stop me at the airport and said, Hi, I have a 21-year-old daughter, and I love what you guys do to help her be confident in herself. So don't listen to that part. Now I'm like, Oh, where 21-year-olds are listening because look, they keep us young. Oh, there is a good show out called Revenge, Love, Con, Revenge on Netflix, which is from the girl who was swindled by the Tinder swindler, who's made her whole purpose in life to help find other men who are conning women. Okay.

So it's like- She's almost like a private investigator?

Well, she gets this private investigator, and what I'm obsessed with is it's a woman. So this woman goes, I'm like a dog with a bone. I will stop at nothing.

I want to hire a private investigator. So badly. You want to have- But I'm like, I don't know what I wanted to look into.

You're like, But I need to find something else.

No, I want to be like, Just look into it.

I just feel like something needs to be undercover. You want to be sitting in a van with shades on.

No, I I'm going to be walking down the street and my private investigator call me. I got something. I'll be like, I'll be right over. Why do I want that so badly?

And you wanted to print out photos and put it in an envelope and hand it to you. And you go, Thank you. Thought so.

I'm going to be like, Thank you. I'm sending it to my lawyer. I'm in court. See what's going on. See what's going on. Then my expert witness is just this gorgeous private investigator.

No. Next time you tell me that you can't record in studio because you have a UTI, I'm going to get my private investigator and be like, She's actually She's at home and all, but he and her mom's feeding her lasagna. Do you know lasagna soup is a thing for fall?

I have seen it. I've never had it, though.

It's giving just soggy lasagna.

I'm not going to lie, I had the best lasagna I've ever had in Tuscany the other weekend. Do you want to know why it was so much better?

Because it's in Tuscany.

But they burnt it a little. It was crispy. You need crisp. It actually tasted second day lasagna, which I like. At the top?

Also, I want the bottom, too.

I want the cheese to be- The whole thing was crispy, and I was like, You guys crush it here? I go, Big fan of your work. They know they were right about you guys. You're fucking crushing.

You go, How does your Italian food feel good?

All I think about any time I go to a different country is, Do you guys ever crave sushi? Do the Italians ever think like, You know what? All I want is some fucking habachi.

Is there no sushi there?

I mean, I don't know. Probably not a lot. I'm sure there was one or two, but you're never in Italy and you see tacos. I'm like, Wait, I want them to experience it more.

But you know what? I feel like because the Italian is so good, they're like, Why would we have- I know, but I'm like, Don't you get sick of it?

Don't they get sick of it?

No, because that's what they know. That's who they are. Imagine if you never tried Diet Coke, you wouldn't crave it. Or Normal Coke. You wouldn't even know. No. It's like Charlie Sheen with Heroin.

How about it was a girl that got him into it? That I didn't see coming. A girlfriend.

Which I don't like to blame the woman, the woman. And I would say he knew what he was getting into.

I've never been offered heroine.

I've never been offered cocaine. I've never been offered cocaine.

You're a loser.

No, I've had multiple conversations where I'm like, why don't they like me? And they're like, You don't do cocaine. And I was like, How can they tell? People can tell. They could smell it. People just know. They just know. No, I've never been offered. I mean, look, I know people who know people. Yeah. Yeah. Who know a guy. Yeah, for sure. So watch out. Do you think Charlie Sheen is going to have a Pam Anderson revival of his career?

I don't know. I think this was more like, I have to make amends. It's been so many years now. Let me tell you what happened back then. It's taken me this long to get over it. Are you staring at my nails?

Well, no. You were just... Your long fingers were in my face, so I nowhere else to look. I was saying, or do you think he just needed money?

Probably a little bit of both. But also, here's what I'm thinking. He did have Martin Sheena as his dad. I'm sure he had a lot of money set up that he couldn't touch at all. I don't know if he went through all of it. You'd be surprised. I didn't realize he was the number one.

Back then, they didn't have brand deals back then.

Right, but he was the highest paid TV actor ever.

Well, he said he ran out of his money.

Oh, he did? Yeah. He's making two million an episode.

I know.

No, the Charlie Sheen lore, I'm just obsessed with it.

Especially if he was overwhelmed by all the fame and stuff and things started to go well, I wouldn't be like, You know what I should do? Do a Netflix documentary right now.

Anyway, it's a really good documentary.

It's a really good documentary. You guys got to watch it. Thank you for giggling with us. I am in Norfolk, Norfolk, Virginia. Norfolk, Virginia this weekend. And I have San Diego, a second show added, and Vegas and Phoenix. Love you guys. Thank you for giggling. Talk later. Bye.