Transcript of Giggling about movie premieres, jellyfish hair, and Japanese spoons

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What's up, gigglers? Gary, fix your WiFi. Manifest that shit. We can't be managed.

The giggler is fine. I mean, the day just got away from me.

What's up, my Game Day gigglers?

Okay? Yes, honey.

We had a correspondent on the ground floor. This is a sports podcast. We used our own business credit card. We put it on the business. We sent Paige to the Super Bowl. Paige, what did you see on the game day? This is my sports cast voice. What did you see?

Thank you so much for putting me on the ground in the field working.

The giglers need to know what was the vibes? What was your opinions?

You know what? It's so funny because the whole game, people were so hyped about it and all this stuff. I couldn't really focus till after halftime because that's when I got my TikTok. You know what I'm saying? Once I got my TikTok, I was like, Okay, and what's going on again? What are we doing here?

It was perfect. It was perfectly executed.

I thought it was equal parts funny, equal parts like, She's here. Here we go.

I do think you're... Look, I'm the fat ass community, and you're taking advantage that for your own sense of humor. I don't want to say that you're...

Coming for your brand, but also... She literally goes, Clap if you were a fat ass, and I'm going to start clapping, and I was like, That would be hilarious if... If I did it. No, no, no, not if I did it.

No, I'm like, She has been doing pilates. Maybe there's a fat ass that I haven't seen. No, I'm just kidding. You have the perfect little booty. The perfect little booty.

Wait, it's so funny because I actually I met a real sports reporter, this woman, Diana Rusini. I think she's on...

A lot of Italians are good at... Like, Tina Serraccio.

It's because we can talk, honey.

We can talk. They can swalk. They can swalk. Put me on the field, I'll swalk to some motherfuckers.

I literally was chatting with her and I was like, Quick question, when did you learn about sports? What did she say? She was just like, Oh, I went to college for broadcast journalism. And then I just went into sports, and she was like, You don't really have to know every single thing. And I was just like, Oh, okay.

As someone who wanted to be a sports broadcaster before All My Dreams died, I know that there's different types of commentators. There's the one who's just vibes. It's like, Welcome back, and you're supposed to look happy, excited. And then there's the color commentator who tends to be a former athlete or someone who knows a lot. So your job is to ask them what people might be wondering. Why do you think the quarterback made that decision? I'm obsessed with it. Also, Erin Andrews. I just have to shout out Erin. Do you know Erin Andrews?

I mean, I don't know her personally, but yes.

She's iconic and has been that girl.

Yeah, for years.

She's 46.

Wait, I'm upset.

She's gorgeous. She's just running shit. She's the one middle of the field at the end of the game that was like, what's up?

She's the one that asks them what they're going to do, and then they say they're going to Disney World? Maybe. I think she does that every year. Yeah. Disney World with the marketing. What a smart...

Walt Disney actually froze that in his contract early on.

It's been a long time. How did they get that?

Let's talk about what you want to talk about, which is...

Okay, I'm just going to put it out there. I do think for the Super Bowl, specifically, and also actually maybe even not just the Super Bowl, there needs to be some type of fashion correspondence for what the boys, what the men are boys. I was correct the first time. Would What the boys are wearing because what's going on?

No, wait, some of them, some of them, though, ate it up.

Ate it up. Ate it up with a spoon. I don't want to shock anyone, but DeAndre on the Chiefs walked in with a full mink coat in 80 degree weather, and I was like, 4 plus 4, honey.

They were there for the looks. Deandre Hopkins. I followed that man. Yes. No, some of them were wearing Louis Vuitton.

Yeah. They come in with their bags. I'm like, What did you put in your merce?

Because it's funny because I saw there's all the correspondence. They put the men, the big men in their suits all... I mean, it's the gayest shit I've ever seen. But anyway, it was a drag show. It was a drag show. When they were coming out with all the sparklers and the... It was just... Okay, let's just call it what it is. Then Tom braided had full contour, and everyone was like, This is drag.

He was also wearing a million dollar watch or some bullshit.

Tom Brady's face card never declines, has It's never declined in the history. He was stunning. But I do have to say it needed a girl somewhere in there to talk about the outfits because also, when girls show up in outfits at these award shows, we get questions asked, How long did it take you? What did you eat today? How did you match that? What style is? These guys walk in no accountability for their outfit.

Well, that's what it is. It's zero accountability, and that's why they think they can get away with it. Then we have the... Then We have the trickle down effect. So soon we're going to be seeing Chad in a full '70s outfit out in the bar, and we don't need it.

I don't need it. One thing I do hope trickles down? The bell-bottom jeans. The bootcut, bell-bottom, Kendrick Lamar jeans. I want to see men in middle America wearing that with a straight face.

There's nothing I love more than a Short King being the villain. You know? It's just like...

Well, when it comes to men, they usually are.

Yeah, that's true. No, that's true.

No, but he's adorable.

He's adorable. We'll put him in our pocket. So well-executed. I thought it was a great halftime show. Sizza is just like...

Angelic. Wait, can we discuss Travis Kelsey's outfit?

I just...

People were doing before and after as a before he met Taylor and after. I, personally, I think it's red flaggy. We all know from our end, whenever you look at a phase where you completely changed your sofa a man, you were like, Oh, I was going through something. Granted, maybe this is who he's always been, but he changed himself the last 20 years to pretend he was a white rapper.

He had a very different swag.

There was actually a funny video saying how every now and then he tries to dress like, swaggy. It's him revolting against Taylor. But I do have to say, the funniest video of the whole night was he was just wearing his top after the Super Bowl leaving, and people were like, that was a Super Bowl party winning outfit, like his sparkly shirt. And it was giving walk of shame after a bad hookup.

I would say after Halloween, specifically. There's nothing worse than the walk of shame after Halloween because you're like, okay, well, I'm not a fucking nurse anymore.

There's no way this outfit could fit.

No. And his was like 70s disco. Also, I don't love a burnt orange.

It was giving me porn. I do have to say that- It was giving me porn. People didn't want to say. They didn't want to say the P-word.

They didn't want to say it because it was a family show.

And there was a mustache involved. But I do like that he... Look, I like Travis. I don't want to like Travis, but I do.

No, I like Travis.

I like him. I like that he commits to the bit. I liked how sad he looked on the field. That turned me on in a weird way, just him being defeated and empty and sad. I was like...

I love all the TikToks of all the boys really watching the game, and it being the Barbie song. What was I made for? Because this is their girlhood. This is their day. And I love to see it.

Yeah. I saw a lot of the guys being emotional where it showed them freaking out. But it's like, look, they're just passionate. They're being passionate just like we are.

Yeah. No. Is there something about the Super Bowl that it's so I'm like, you guys, you work so hard, and now is your moment. I loved when the Eagles were winning so badly that they put in their second string. And it's like, yes, now they all got to play. I love that.

No, everyone's dreams are coming true. It's very, very cute.

I will say this, Mads, Mitch, who we love on TikTok- Histerical.

Histerical. She's a little genius. She speaks so fast and so funny. I have to slow it down to keep up with her.

No, I must have. She needs to have a podcast.

Does she not? Should we put her on our nonexistent network?

She would be my first hire, for sure.

Okay, you're hired.

Hired. Hired.

Not interviewed. She's like, I don't want to be associated with you guys.

She's like, I literally would never work for you guys. That's an HR violation. And we get it. No, we do. But she did a whole video where she was just like, there's something about I I love that the team where the kicker was like, Hey, your wife should be in the house, lost. And the quarterback for the Eagles has an all-female team. His agent is a 35-year-old woman who just fucking crushes. There was something just about it that I just love it. There was an interview with Jalen, and they were like, Oh, you have an all-female team or something. He was confused by the question. He was like, Well, I just looked who could get the job done, and it was them. And he was just like, yeah. And I was just like, oh, I love it.

He's been nailing it. And he's also like... Because every now and then when I start liking a guy, an answer, I go, do I like him or is he just good looking? So I stopped, I step back and I said, no, I actually did like his answer, but I had to test myself.

You did the inner work and you thought, no, I will support a man in this situation.

Someone did say because the kicker, Harrison Butler, who I accidentally picked for my fancy football team because it was automatic and I didn't know. And I hope I don't get canceled because of that. And I didn't even have to say it out loud now, but I did. Because I want to be transparent. He said, women shouldn't work and they should have babies. And then his team I don't think he kicked... Maybe he kicked one or two field goals because his team barely scored touch downs. They were like, Oh, maybe you shouldn't work.

Yeah, maybe you should have stayed home and let her go back to her job.

No, you guys, this wasn't even the beginning of the... Okay, this I know this was the beginning of the pod, but when I tell you our notes are out of fucking control, we had too much stuff going on this week. Where do you even want to begin?

Wait, I want to begin at... I went to the Christian Seriano show. I sat next to Julianne Hough, which I was just like, I never know what to say to a really famous people.

Because they're either really cool or they have no idea who you are.

She was so cool, but I was like, I'm not going to sit next to her and not say anything. I just awkwardly touched her arm and she turned to me and I was like, Sorry, that might have been invasive. I just wanted to say I'm a huge fan and whatever. And she was like, Oh, my God, thank you so much. And then three seconds later, she looked at me and she said, Your hair is perfect. And I was just like, Thank you so much.

Wait, I love that interaction because you can do that to someone. You can take your little dainty long, thin finger. I did. I literally- Daintily put it. See, if I touch someone, they'd be like, Get your hoof off of me. Get your dirty hoof That's the lightest touch ever.

I was just like, Excuse me, ma'am.

No, I know how you do it. I could never. I could never. They'd be like, You just punched me in the arm. Ow. Also, no one's ever turned to me and been like, Your hair is purple. Wait. So we're going to the Michael Kaur Show tomorrow? And everyone's nervous. And by everyone, I mean me. We have to see if Michael notices me this time around. Remember this? He remembers you.

Wait, I have another funny story from Christian Seriano. First of all, I met him for the first time the day before the show because he let me... He said that he would dress me for the show. So I went to the showroom, picked something out. And Here's the thing about me. If you're working with me or I am working with you for something, I'm decisive. You're not going to spend a lot of time with me. You have shit to do. I have shit to do. I walked into the showroom. He showed me one dress. I said, I really don't even need to try it on. I know that's the dress. You have things to do. I'm going to get out of your hair. He was amazing. But I sat next on the other side of me. Her name is Bronwyn from Real House Fives of Salt Lake City, which I haven't watched this season, but I know that people keep tagging us in things together because she has a bob. If you have a bob, it's just like, you're that girl. So whatever. We start chatting, and she's lovely. We go backstage after the show, and she's standing to me, and I see this woman standing in front of us, and I go, Oh, my God, that's Natasha Benningfield.

Everything in my millennial body was just like, Oh, my God, that's crazy. And Natasha turns, and then, of course, I'm like, Natasha, you're the best. I got a punch, you got a punch.

I got a sunshine, I got a love. She was like, Please get away from me.

And I'm like, Oh, my God, I'm such a fan. She was like, Oh, my God, thank you. And then all of a sudden, Bronwyn turns to her and goes, Hi, I don't know if you remember me, but you performed at my wedding?

And I was just like, Wait, what the fuck? That's some rich people shit.

Yeah, that's some rich people shit. I was like, Are you fucking kidding me right now?

Also, I love that she assumed she forgot her. She's like, I know you do a lot of weddings. You're on the wedding circuit.

I'm like, She's not out here doing bat mitzvahs, Bronwyn.

Wait, Natasha is out here right now because when I went to the Amy Schumer pregnant premiere, Natasha just walked by us.

Which we need to talk Which you need to talk about.

Side note, the name Bronwyn. I've never heard this. As a dumb New Yorker, I've never heard of such a name until it was Real Housewise of O-C. Wasn't there Bronwyn, Burke?

Yeah, there was a Bronwyn.

Is this a common name in the West Coast?

I don't know.

I've never heard.

I've never heard. Why are we European when it comes to anywhere other than the state of New York?

How do you say Bronwyn?

I don't speak English. Wait, I was with a bunch of New Yorkers in New Orleans, and no one could say Benyay. I was like, Guys, we got to get it together. They already know we're tourists. We're all Black.

Where's the big nets? Give me the big nets. The big nets. No, I can't pronounce anything. They can't even pronounce. It's supposed to be like, New Orleans. It's not New Orleans.

It's New Orleans.

But New York is saying New Orleans.

It was so fucking hot there.

I bet. Also, that's nice. Imagine if it was freezing and then all the football players, their little fingers would be cold.

But the game was in a dome. Why is the word dome sexual?

Very sexual.

It's very sexual. I don't like it.

It was basically the sphere in Las Vegas, which we're going to perform soon. No, I'm just kidding. That seems like you have to be high.

I literally get nauseous, I think.

You'd have to be high. Yeah. Talk about the beta. They would have to put beta blockers up your asshole.

Yeah, no, I needed it in an IV.

So I get a message of an invite to the pregnant premiere, which I was very excited about because Dez goes way back with Ursula Carlson, who's hysterical in it. She's a South African comedian who's huge.

Wait, who does she play?

She plays the... Not the dean, the... What are they? The one who was vaping the whole time. Yes. I mean, she's seen Steeler. Incredible.

She's so funny.

So I ask Haley, not Haley Bieber, my other best friend Haley, to come to the premiere. We sit down. Jerry Seinfeld is behind us. Stop. Of course, I'm in the corner, and Haley is closest I'm like, Haley, I'm going to need you to shut the fuck up right now, and I need you to listen to everything that this man says. Haley loves to chat. Haley loves to talk. She quickly forgot. I told her that she was on observing duty. Then she's like, Do you just want to switch seats with me? And I'm like, No, that's way too obvious. As We're having this discussion, Chris Rock sits... Well, first of all, a woman sits down next to Haley, and she's talking, and she keeps talking about her husband, Paul, and she's talking to Jerry Seinfeld. So we're like, Okay, who's Paul? So we're doing our Paul Rudd. Paul McCartney.

Okay.

Paul McCartney. So then we're just... We don't know what to do. I'm like, Haley, whatever you think you're going to do, don't do it. Don't do it.

Haley just immediately starts singing.

No, she's also either... I feel like she either says something and people are like, She's the cuteest ever, or she'll trip and fall in her face, and everyone will be like, Is she okay? She's just always going to have something. It's never boring with Haley. So I'm immediately Okay, brace yourself. Then Damon Wayne's Jr, who's in the movie, sits in front of us. Then she starts freaking out because apparently, she's the biggest New Girl fan ever. So I'm like, Okay, you didn't...

New Girl is the best show ever.

It's the best show ever. But she's not reacting to... Did I tell you Chris Rock sits next to us, too? We're in a hot zone, right? Yeah. And I'm just like, Haley, just listen to what they say. I want to hear everything. And she's yapping about... Who knows what she was yapping about. Then Adam Sandler walks in. It was a crazy energy And I never go to the after-party at these things because bitch is tired. After a whole movie, you're ready to go to bed. I go, We have to go to this after-party. I have to support Ursula. So we walk in. Also, I've never met Amy before. And as a comedian, she is one of the girls that you put on- She set the scene for us. She set the scene, and Trainwreck probably made me want to be a comedian in the most, not to be corny, but I think it did.

No, that's girlhood.

That's girlhood. I'm avoiding her, right? As you should. But literally, going out of my way to avoid her. It's out of respect. Out of respect. I'm like, I don't want to ruin Amy Schumers' night. So this is her night that I don't want to be a ruiner. We strike up a... Haley strikes up a conversation with David Waynes, obviously. Classic. We're talking to him. He's giving me his advice. I make eye contact with Amy across room, she points at me, and I'm like, What's happening? What's happening? We're doing physical comedy. You turn around. No, I did a joke like me. I'm doing things I've never done.

You're like, I'm a physical comedian now. I'm just doing this.

Yeah. Literally. Then she starts coming towards me, and I'm like, Oh, my God, she's coming to say hi to me. She's coming to say hi to me. This is crazy. Then as she's about to say hi to me, this little girl, this little bitchy girl who... She must have been eight or nine. I think she was in the movie, goes, Amy, Amy and Amy turns and starts talking to this girl.

This is why we haven't had kids.

This girl never even saw a train wreck. My dreams came true because of the train wreck. I literally manifested to I tried to be a comedian, and this little girl who doesn't even pay taxes jumps in front of me, and I'm standing there just like, Okay. And I'm looking at the girl like, Are you fucking kidding me? You're a little bitch.

She didn't even work a full 12 hours because it's illegal.

No, she thinks her mom's name is Mom. I awkwardly wait for that because obviously, I'm not going to shove a little girl, but I was thinking about it. I thought about it. Then I was like, Don't ruin Amy's big day. Then Amy turns to me and she says something, I don't know. Then I was like, You're the goat. That was incredible. Then I get interrupted again by Adam Sandler.

I thought you were going to say Haley.

Haley, surprisingly, was actually so good. Adam Sandler comes up, But you know when you're You shouldn't be in a conversation, but you can't get out? Because of where we were standing, I was way too in where if I tried to leave it, it would have been awkward. But I'm holding, and I don't... I've said three words to Amy, and I'm in the middle.

You have to awkwardly smile and laugh, but you're I'm not adding to this conversation, but I don't want to take away.

You cannot add, but you don't want to make it awkward. I'm standing there in between the two, and he's just like, I think he must have assumed I've known Amy for a while because he was very comfortable with me being in that chat, and I was uncomfortable. I didn't consent to that. He's looking at her and he produced the movie. He's telling her his honest advice and complimenting her about how well the movie did in the crowd. I'm smiling, and then he looks over at me and he goes, Yeah, I I heard you laughing, and I was like, Okay.

Okay, let women take up space. You know my brand of laughter? It's called giggling. It's called ginkling. If you're a giggler, just say it.

So then somehow I get out of it. But then when your heart rate's so high, you're like... Then I run into some gigglers, obviously. Whoever the prettiest girls are in the room, they're like, Hey, are you a giggler.

Doesn't it calm you down when you're in a situation like that where you're like, Oh, there's gigglers here. I'm safe with them?

No, they went up to me. They're like, Hannah, we're so excited to meet you. And I go, Guys, hold my hand. I'm not okay. And they were like, What happened? I'm like, Amy Schumer, just talk to me. And then we're crying. We're holding each other. And then these teachers, one woman was a teacher, someone else, she played tennis, they started talking to me, and she's like, By the way, we're Amy Schumers, childhood friends. So I'm freaking out. But again, I feel like avoiding Amy is just the best thing you could do in these situations. She said, Hi to me. We We did great. I've never been to one of these parties, but a circle starts to form. Like a dance circle. And that's when I started looking at Haley. I said, Don't you dare? Because Haley is a dancer.

She's a triple threat. She'll get in there and she'll sing and she'll dance and she does the... She's open to going to your bachelorette party. You guys can hire Haley.

She should be hired.

She's a value add. On Leslie always gets five stars wherever she goes five stars.

But also, I've never seen a circle form and felt calmness. It's like a laxative. I'm freaking out.

I actively back away. I'm like, I can't add anything to this.

No, Haley and I fully back away, and I get my camera to show I'm not in this, I'm filming it. Let me be the filmer.

I'm background.

I'm a journalist. At this point, I'm a hired journalist.

I'm stage crew, okay? I'm not talent right now.

I'm PA. If he needs a snack, I'll bring it. So Amy jumps in the middle and she does a funny dance. Then some SNL guy, Alex Moffet, does a whole dance, and it's starting to slow down. And Ursula is looking at me and Haley is whispering, and she's like, Do the worm. And I was like, Are you trying to get me canceled in this town? I'm barely getting accepted by the cool kids of comedy.

I'm barely getting by.

I'm barely getting by. Adam Sandler just made a front of my laugh. I am teetering here. I just want to get out of here with no one going home being like, Did you see what Hannah did? That's all I want. Can we talk about that? I'm just trying- That's all. I'm trying to get out of- I just want to not be a conversation in the Uber going home. Wait, no.

That's literally my whole life right now. I'm just like, as long as I can escape and not be a conversation after the fact, I'm good.

But I do have to say the reason we both did reality TV is because for some reason we can't not be the drama- I'm like, actually, I have another thing to say.

Hold my beer.

Then Ursula is looking at me. Also, Ursula easily could have just been looking at me, but in my head, I was like, she wants me to do the work. Because as I'm telling this story, I'm like, she actually said, Do the worm.

That is so fucking you. It's... Oh, my God.

I was about to throw Ursula under the buzz and be like, well, Ursula forced me. I'm like, Ursula, I don't think she even knows I do the worm.

That is us in any situation when a hot guy walks by and I'll be like, he's trying to fuck. He literally works here.

No, I have a whole thing made up in my head. But this is the thing. Amy looks at me and she does a point. Again, looking back now I don't think she meant do the worm. Maybe she meant, Do you want to do something silly in the circle? You want to do a dance. As you know, I'm zero, 100, babe. But it's all or nothing with me. Yes or no? Yes or no? Nervous. Here's the thing.

This is why, again, you can't do drugs. Peer pressure, it gets to you.

You are the easiest person to peer pressure.

It's so crazy. You could be adamant that you're not doing something, and one person is like, Just try it. You're like, Okay.

But you know what's so cute about my friends? When I say friends, I speak this very generically. Like, literally every friend I've known since college has never forced me to do cocaine because I also think they're scared. They We don't want that night.

It's not.

Do you realize no one's ever...

No one's ever asked you.

No one who knows me has ever looked me in the eye and been like, You should do cocaine tonight. Meet me in the bathroom?

No fucking way.

To the point that I didn't even know people were doing cocaine. Years later, I'm like, People take cocaine?

I'll never forget the time you called me after being at a party and being like, I think they were doing drugs. Yeah, it's 3: 00 AM in New York City. Look alive.

I called Paige and I go, I don't want to spread drama or gossip. I don't want to ruin anyone's reputation. They went in the bathroom and they were there a little too long. And I don't think it was a tummy ache.

They came out and all of a sudden they had crazy amounts of energy.

So long story short, Amy looks at me, does a point. When I tell you this circle was Ted Serandos was there. If you don't know who Ted Serandos is, he runs Netflix. He's the guy that if If he doesn't like you, you'll never work in this town again. So I go in, do the worm, and everyone's like, You did it in your dress. And I'm like, Have you seen the giggle spot tour? I've done it in the most insane outfits. So I do two because I feel like three, you're getting greedy. Three, it's like, We get it. You can do the worm. So I did two as if it was a mistake, almost. I tripped, almost, and did the worm. Run off. People have footage, which I think I'm going to put in the newsletter because I don't want it to make... You know when you You watch yourself and you're like, Oh, my God, I'm annoying?

All the time.

I run to Amy after and she's like, Yay. And then I run behind her and just stand there.

It was your mom and you're like...

Literally, I was like, Are we good? Are we still okay? Is anyone mad at me? Then I told Haley, I was like, We have to leave.

I literally did the worm. The anxiety immediately hit and you're like, I got to get the fuck out of here.

I'm completely sober. Like, completely sober. Arguably, maybe it was good because I was sober because I was like, We need to leave. Because if I was drunk, I'd be like, So, Amy.

What do you think of the worm?

Watch Kind of pregnant. I did the worm at Amy's premiere for the gigglers. I watched it.

It's so good.

There's a lot of slapsticky comedy that, honestly, I'm not huge into the slapstick stuff. I almost pissed myself in the movie theater.

Well, Amy can do a It's so good. The back and forth is so good with all the characters.

I also had Inside Scoop from Damon Wayne Jr. He told me that she was legit doing her own stunts. Apparently, she fell down the stairs eight times.

That's so you.

No, it's my dream. She's living my dream.

No, it's literally your dream. Wait, can I also say the other lead, Brianne Howey, I love her. She's in Ginny in Georgia.

She's so good in it. She's gorgeous.

She's gorgeous. When I did the red carpet for People's Choice, I was so nervous nervous. She was one of my first interviews, and when she was walking toward me, I made a face as if I knew her and was like, Oh, my God.

Because you watched Ginny and Georgia.

Yeah, I love Ginny and Georgia. When she came up, I was like, Oh, my God, I'm so sorry. I don't know you, but I'm... Paige, whatever. She was so nice to me that it literally eased my anxiety on the red carpet. This was before I knew about beta blockers, so I was so nervous.

Can Can you believe you did that without beta blockers?

No. No. No. No. Now I can't even go to a social event without a fucking beta blocker. I pass them out to my friends. I'm like, pop this. The start of the new year is just the perfect time to get organized, and it seemed like January took forever. But if there's one thing about me, I stay organized. Rocket Money is one of those reasons. It's a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so that you can grow your savings. Rocket Money's dashboard gives you a clear view of all of your expenses across all of your accounts. Organization. Rocket Money will even try to lower and negotiate your bills for you. They automatically scan your bills, find opportunities to save, and then you can ask them to negotiate for you. Rocket Money has over 5 million users and has saved a total of 500 million in canceled subscriptions, saving members up $740 a year when using all of the app's premium features. So cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to rocketmoney. Com/giggly Squad today. That's rocketmoney.

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Well, the Grammys happened right after we recorded last time. I just had one question for you on it.

I literally didn't watch anything of it.

I watched all of it, but I've already forgotten, except the jellyfish hair.

What the fuck is that?

So it's like Miley Cyrus, Lady Gaga, a bunch of girls are doing this bang that cuts across Billy Eilish. It cuts across...

Again, leave it to the Brits. I don't think I don't think that we...

No, leave it to... Unless you're a British rock star.

Yeah.

I mean, they could... Look, those girls can pull it off. I'm just telling the girls at home.

I don't need to be a sea creature. I've got enough problems. I don't need to have a jellyfish hair.

We're drowning every day in our own shots.

No, I'm trying to stay afloat every day. I'm gasping for air at all points. Wait, one other thing. I feel like it's just your pack filled- I know. Weekend. I had so much fun. Friday, I did... Cazzie David came out with the movie called I Love You Forever. It's so good. And I didn't realize... It's an independent film. Her and her best friend from college wrote it, and they premiered it. I did a little moderation after with the actors. I'm obsessed with her on a different level. It's so rare to meet people, especially in your 30s, and just be like, Hey, I'd like to be your friend. We did that to each other without being weird. I was like, Hey, if you wanted to hang out again, I would be down with it. I met her and I hung out with her and her sister, and they're just so cool and pretty. I love being around hot, funny, talented women. It just makes me feel like I'm doing something right in my life where I'm like, You have a career, and I love it. It's so good.

I do have to say in my 20s, I did not decenter men. I'm going to be so honest with you guys.

I changed my fashion for them.

You Travis Kelsied.

No, that's crazy.

I literally was like, for me to feel value, I want to be with a hot, tall, smart, funny man, and then I will feel complete.

I met this at this point in my life. When in reality, they talk.

Granted, yes, I am married, and I will address that, and that is so nice. But to feel... And I need to call myself out on that because I pretend I'm not married, but I am. But I do have to say my fulfillment right now is I want people to see me and who I hang with and be like, Oh, my God, she hangs with the smartest, coolest, hottest, most successful girls. It's this weird thing that happens. I think in your 20s, we're all very scared. But in my '30s, whenever I see a hot, smart, successful girl, instead of thinking like, jealousy vibes, I'm immediately like, How do I make her talk to me? I literally become creepy. How do I connect with her? Because I want her in my circle of influence.

I so believe that saying where it's like, you are the sum of the five people that you surround yourself with. I only really believe it because if you do look back at your '20s, and your mood and what you were doing and look at who you were hanging out with, it's completely different. Now in my 30s, I love cutting a bitch out. I love walking away and being like, You do not fulfill me. You're also not up to my standards. I just like, no, I don't want to be associated with you.

I used to have friends who would definitely put me down a lot, and I thought it was funny, and I would lean into it because I'm self-deprecating. But then I realized Oh, no. They actually are holding me, suffocating me down.

Keeping you underwater. Holding you underwater.

Drowning me jellyfish style.

No, why is this episode water-based?

This is a water-based lubricant for your vocal cords, you can laugh with us.

Why is this underwater-themed?

When it cuts to us just wearing goggles the whole episode. We're so stupid.

We're so stupid. Why? Because we haven't talked in four days.

No, I know because you have the super- I also feel like we're talking really fast. I know. I think I was going to say I drink a lot of coffee, but it's literally 07: 00 PM and I'd be lying. But no, I really am obsessed with... I want people to be like, Oh, she's so cool look at her friend. I know there was in high school, people were like, Oh, popular. I'm not talking about popular. I'm talking about this bitch's brain next to me is fascinating, and she thinks big, and she sees me... I I don't know. It's just friendships. You deserve to be with someone you're excited to be friends with.

Here's the other thing I've realized. I feel like women and people always talk about, Oh, well, they have to be jealous of each other. There's so much jealousy between girls. I'm going to let everyone in on a secret, not when you're independently successful. When Cassie asked me to moderate her panel, in what world would I jealous that she put a movie out. I was like, Oh, my fucking God, how sick. I would love to be involved in your prosperous career. I would love to support you. Also, the movie that she put out is, I think, so important, especially because we talked about being in an abusive relationship. It's about an abusive relationship, but it's about a mentally and emotionally abusive relationship. And I feel like there's so many movies out where it's so extreme and it's like, Oh, you're only in an abusive relationship if it's physical, which is so not true. Mentally, it can be so draining. Someone that's just constantly- You're not sure.

You're always like, Is it me? Am I the... Did I deserve that? So it's not as clear.

I just think it's such a good message for young girls and adult women, too. When I say young girls, I mean early 20s dating. But in your 30s, too, I watched it and I was like, Oh, yeah, that is fucked up when someone does that to you.

Also, side note about finding friends who were really cool, smart, funny, successful. A lot of these women I found have also been through something. I just want to shout about anyone going through something right now because it means... I just realized a lot of things I went through, if I didn't go through them, I literally wouldn't be where I am now, and I would not be as interesting. I'd be boring as fuck. I'd have no lore. I'd have no lore. Can we focus on creating lore for yourself? Whenever anything fucked up happens, the lore, the lore that people are going to be talking about.

No, I feel like I feel the same way. I truly don't regret anything in my 20s or anything because I'm like, Wait, that changed me as a person. That helped me get to where I am right now. My perspective is different.

The only thing I regret is when I'm too hard on myself because looking back, you're I was like, Okay, girl, you were trying. I'm trying. You're trying your best. You just need to drink some water. Wait, shout out to my mom. She made me laugh so hard because Dez has been gone. He's been in Dublin. So my mom swooped She was like, Your husband's not home. You're hanging with mom and dad. And I was like, hell, yeah, as long as someone's getting dinner. So we go to get dinner, and my dad orders one of those fish spaghetti dishes where it's angel hair with a ton of clams and scampy and whatever it is. And he starts eating it with the little fork that you're supposed to put in the clam And he starts eating the pasta with it, with a little fork. And my mom looks at me and she goes, I have the egg. I?

The way Why is getting the ick from your husband.

Because he's using... And he's like, Oh, it makes me eat slower when I use the little fork. And I'm like, That is for the muscles. Wait, he's literally share from Clueless.

He's like, If I cut it up into little pieces, you're sitting there.

He's chewing it and spitting it out. I'm like, Dad, what are you doing? And then I'm sitting there, my mom's rolling her eyes. I'm dying laughing. I just think it just made me so... My mom says so many things that we would say on Giggly Squad, and it just makes me really happy. And then I tried to pitch her because she was on She went on Burner phone with me last week. We did one on Karma, you guys should listen. She was really good. I was like, Should you and Kim start a Giggly Mom podcast?

Wait, it should be a podcast where they just recap what we talked about the previous week and They like their opinions on it.

They do that anyway, and then they just call us.

Yeah, they just do it in our freaking text messages. Do you ever, sometimes this is going to sound a little mushy. Do you ever sometimes think about your life and In a way where you're proud of yourself and then you get emotional because you're like, oh, my mom taught me to be like that. And it's like, I wouldn't be like this. My mom has called me so many times over this past couple of months or ever and just been like, I'm so fucking proud of you and your demeanor and what you say and how you stand up for yourself. And I will get emotional because I'm just like, wait, but you taught me how to be like that. And that's so sweet. I'm just obsessed with them.

Also, you don't even know. They didn't even teach you. It's just who you are. Can I say a really sad thought I thought about? Okay. About parents? Yeah. I think it should It's really illegal if they're over 50 to have to interview for a job because I was just envisioning my mom or my dad in a job interview and getting rejected. And like, sorry, that's my mother. That is my father. You cannot... He's perfect. They raise me. You don't think they're capable of this job? I'm sorry. Imagine someone telling your dad, no. I know your dad is an entrepreneur, but imagine someone interviewing your dad and be like, sorry, you're not good enough for this company. I will burn your small business to the ground.

No, there's something. This is why I'm actually scared for us to become moms, because I feel like I'm going to be vicious. If someone's rude to my parents or does something to them, I'm like, I literally always say, She better hope she never fucking runs into me. There's no one I want to stick up for more than my mother and my father. I feel like they actively are like, Don't let Paige find out about this. And don't. Don't let me know about it.

See, it's funny because I'm not the Scorpio in my family. Dez is the Scorpio. So if Dez finds out anyone, my mom, my dad, anyone's upset, he has it handled. So shout out to Dez, our provider, our protector.

It's just so...

But what I did tell myself, if I'm going to be a parent and my kid goes through something or something fucked up happens, We have to normalize adversity. Let your kid have adversity. Honestly, I'm leaning towards the '80s model. Let him figure it out. Let him go. Mom is napping.

Come home when the streetlights come on.

Exactly. Because I feel like we were the helicopter parents where they made sure everything was perfect. And it's like, obviously, there's pros and cons. But I'm like, you're doing chores. When something bad happens, I go, and that's life.

Yeah, we're picking ourselves up.

We're picking ourselves up. And then they're stronger because you don't want to have a kid who's spoiled or who... Have you seen? I've been on Mom Talk for no reason. I'm not pregnant, I swear. I just ended up on Mom Talk somehow.

No, I very much grew up with a mom that was like, and suck it up. A lot of the men out here did not. There are so many times in my life I want to look at the men and be like, Suck it the fuck up.

I do have to say it's so... People talk about meeting the parents, and obviously, you want the parents to like you, but even more so, you want to see how they parent him because you just need to have similarities in that. Or there's a lot of people, you're going to meet so many people who you are attracted to, where you have chemistry with, but you're not going to parent a child well together. You're not going to have day to day financial decisions. There's so many things that make people good boyfriend, girlfriend that doesn't make them good husbands.

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Have you I heard about the Japanese electric salt spoon. Jesus.

That sounds terrifying.

It's not a vibrator. It's not a vibrator.

It hugs you from behind.

Code giggly. No. Okay, this spoon, there's something electric about it that it makes everything taste saltier, but you don't actually add salt. If you have high sodium, it just... They're on another The Japanese live in 30, 25.

I mean, I sometimes get on Japanese TikTok, the shit they have in their houses.

They're fixing problems I didn't even know we had. No, we had.

Wait, that's a great way to put it. I'm like, Wait, that is a horrible task, and you guys don't even think about it.

How did you- We didn't even know that needed to be fixed.

No. Right. No, they're truly ahead of their time. It's crazy. Can we get it? Have you seen it? You've seen it on TikTok?

Yeah. We have a lactade event tomorrow. Shout out lactade. I thought it'd be cute to make a banana split for a promo video, and I couldn't get it to... You put a banana and you put the ice cream on it. I couldn't get it to stay. People in my DMs were like, Hannah, you're supposed to cut the banana in half, you dumb piece of shit.

I'm going to say something. I've never been a fan of the banana split because I just think it's messy. I saw it as a child, and my clean esthetic was like, You're doing a lot.

Not on brand for you.

No, not on brand. I'm like, You're mixing- You're like, Give me a vanilla cupcake with a little pink Frosting. I'm like, You're mixing three colors? Get out of here. No.

Also, the textures are all over the place. I more prefer a brûlade fruit. If a fruit is going to be involved, let's make it warm.

What's a brûlée?

I didn't go to French culinary school, but I feel like it's when you put- Wait, is that a thing? French culinary school?

No, brûlée. Oh, like a creme brûlée?

Creme brûlée. You know how they brûlée it with the fire? You got to brûlée.

I never realized that's what it's called.

Well, now I have to Google it because I know there's a 50% chance I'm wrong. Is that Daphne in the background? Yes. Brûlée, banana. Banana, Brewley. Okay, it's a thing. Oh, okay. I'm so wrong. I think you have to put sugar on it or something. No, people don't know that I'm a chef.

Do you know that my actually has one of those little mini torches. Of course, she does. Where does she keep it? By her nightside bed stand, in case anyone tries to fuck with her. No, she hasn't brûlée in a while, but she can. She And brûlé all around.

Did she tell you I got her flowers?

She did. That was so sweet of you.

No, I do have to say what was so funny about it was she'd messaged me. She was like, These flowers are perfect for my house, because all I did was order the I knew you would like because I know it's an all-white esthetic, and I got a little gold, a little white. It was perfect. So I was... I feel like I got Kim points there. I was really happy about that.

No, that was so sweet of you.

Points for me. Did you watch Apple Cider Vinegar?

Hannah.

Did you watch the whole thing? Yes. How? I feel like it's a show that it's meant for both of us.

No, literally, when you texted me, I was like, Okay, yeah, I actually have nothing to watch right now.

Where do we begin?

Where do we begin? Okay, it's on Netflix. You guys have to watch it. It's six episodes. It's about this Australian girl who basically tried to single white female, this influencer who was a health influencer because she had cancer. She was trying to heal herself naturally. It just so proves how on the Internet, people will say anything for sympathy because it's just comments, comments. Like, this This girl literally lied and said she had brain cancer.

This girl lied. We have a lot of Aussie gigglers. They were DMing me saying, When it first came out that she might be lying, and she was raising all this money for charity for other people with cancer, this kid who needed surgery, and the money never got to them. So they wrote up that she's basically not putting the charity money where it should be. And apparently, all of Australia was like, How dare you try to bring a woman down. This cannot be true. We love her. She's perfect. Leave her alone. And then it came out- That she was lying the whole time. That she was about brain cancer because she told everyone to buy her cookbook and her app because she basically said, My diet healed cancer. It was very interesting also in this day and age because the The Internet is so crazy where this other girl is basically... She did some research about some cult place where you go and you drink juices and your cancer goes away. Obviously, we all want to solve things, but it just showed that there's so much misinformation online. Granted, there's so much fucked up stuff with the healthcare industry, but we have to trust that we're trying to cure cancer and there isn't a secret weed that you can put up your pussy that's going to do it.

Because if there was, hopefully we'd know what it was. So the documentary is coming out. Oh, fuck, yeah. Next week. Yeah.

On Netflix, too, or somewhere else?

Yeah, on Netflix. On Netflix. So we are hooked in.

And that's the girl that played Anna Delvey?

No. No. But it looks just like her. And you know what I thought? I thought she probably was up for that role, and she would have been great as Anna Delvey. Her name is Kaitlyn, Debbie, I believe. Kaitlyn Devy. She was in Booksmart. Also, she's fucking amazing. I don't think she's Australian.

Oh, well, she did a perfect Australian accent.

But I also could have made that up.

Okay.

And we'll fact check that later. Because you know what? Actually, she might be, and she's just been an American in every other movie.

And it could be that, too.

Do you know who's not American?

Who?

Ila Fisher.

I think I knew that.

She's Australian.

Yeah. How did you know that? I always thought that Ila Fisher, and I thought Ila Fisher and Amy McAdams were the same person for a very long time.

Maybe that's why I thought she was American. No, Ila Fisher. That's crazy. Australian people do not get enough praise for their American accents.

No, they don't. I mean, Margot Robbie is Australian. Let's take a moment of silence for them in their accent.

The pod just becomes one long moment of silence.

No. Each week, I think we do need to do a moment of silence for people because we need it. They need it. They do. They need thoughts on prayers.

They need thoughts on prayers. We're quiet.

Let's be quiet.

Okay, I have one final note. Okay. I wrote my college EDU address ruined my life. Okay. You didn't go to college? No, I'm just kidding.

Did you have a college EDU address? Yeah. Yes, I had an email at the college I attended. Everyone's always trying to act like I didn't freaking go to college.

Guys, I went, I had an email. She went to Jimmy Fallon's College. Yeah. Shout out St. Rose, that my cousin went to also.

It's true.

I was just fucking with you. What was your college email? It was hburner@wisk. Edu for Wisconsin. And that's what I used for my Facebook and my Apple ID and my everything. And then no one tells you that after college, you have to change it because they shut it down. So I went years not being able to log in to my Apple ID because it was EDU, and I couldn't get into it to change it.

And now we know why you don't believe in Bluetooth or Wi-Fi.

You were traumatized. And you were like, fuck all of this.

And that's the pipeline. That's The Pipeline. Yeah. And I don't believe in mail. No, you don't. No, I get that.

I think mine was just sorbo-p-some numbers@saintrose. Edu. How many just sorghospees were there at your school with 500 students? You never know. No, you don't really know. No, independent school, shout out because you get more attention for people who need it.

Yes. You get individualized attention where they say, We don't think this is for you. How many classes did you skip? Never. Never skipped class. I was not a class skipper. Really? Well, because I was like, If I skip one, I'm never coming back. You literally, I'll get a taste of that freedom, and I'll never see my face again. That's me with smoking cigarettes. That's me with cocaine.

That's how I felt about school. I'm like, You guys, you know me too well.

Oh, my God. I slept through most classes, which is on brand. But I was there. No, I even would do early classes so that I was done by one o'clock. I was a different person. I don't know who that- Do you know that nowadays kids just ChatGPT, the lesson plan?

I mean, I feel like I was doing that years ago, too. I was ahead of my freaking time.

You guys, wow. That was a lot of information. What a crazy- Wait, what a crazy- What an action-packed hour.

We've never done so many things, and tomorrow we're going to- I feel like Kevin Hart in the Rock. I feel like we just... Oh, my God.

It's giving... What's her name? The Wizard Vaz, the girl. Who started The Wizard Vaz? Ariana Grande? No. Julie, what's her name? Julie Andrews. No, what's her name? What is her friggin name? You were just talking about her. I'm trying to do a callback. Why do I keep thinking of the most insane people?

I want to say Cindy No. It's on the tip of my tongue.

What is her name, Hannah? Judy Garland.

We fucking Judy Garland ourselves this week. No, I need to go now. No, I need to take a beta blocker. We love you guys so much. Thank you for giggling.

We'll giggle with you later. Bye. If you smell gas at home or on the street, don't ignore it. Open windows and doors. Don't smoke, vape, or use a naked flame. Don't unplug or switch anything electrical on or off. Turn off the gas at the meter. Then, no matter who your gas supplier is, call Gas Networks Ireland on 1800-2050. Visit gasnetworks. Ie to screenshot the safety steps. Save them to your device and share with friends and family. What if you could have the the best of all worlds? The freedom to explore without hesitation, the all-new Cupra Terramar. Our next-generation plug-in hybrid SUV. Bold design to stop others in their tracks, engineered with precision to take you further, and with an all-electric range of up to 119 kilometers, you can experience adventure without compromise. Discover more at cupraofficial. Ie or search cupraterramar. Electric range based on WLTP data. Real-world driving conditions can affect range.